Should I just keep faking it?

LadySandcastle · 2022-12-02T20:22:01+00:00

I let people share their beliefs with me. If I disagree I keep it to myself. If they ask me what I think about something I answer vaguely. Bring more private like this in general has made me much happier.

jtriangle · 2022-12-02T18:38:43+00:00

How do I stop feeling like I’m betraying my values?

Option 1) Do not care

Option 2) Be authentic

I suppose the real question is, why do you care what these people think of you? Do you require their support in order to hold your values? If that's the case, you haven't self-actualized yet, and you need to because it'll improve many other aspects of your life and your relationship.

sunglasses90 · 2022-12-02T20:46:53+00:00

Listening to someone else’s opinion about something without interjecting your own opinion isn’t “faking it”. With that said, I think there’s a lot to be said for a woman who can keep the peace. However, I also think that there are polite ways to engage and share your opinions if you’d like to without it going nuclear.

If it were me I’d probably keep the peace and ignore it. You’re putting yourself in the lions den and asking how to not get it to eat you. The answer is no sudden movements. Maybe you can move around slowly and bring up your opinions slowly to gage the lion’s reaction.

Emdeedee123 · 2022-12-02T23:02:04+00:00

Consider looking at this from a different perspective. Being authentic doesn’t mean you have to be vulnerable to your detriment. Your art is important to you, part of who you are, and it’s your livelihood.

There are instances where challenging someone’s view opens them up to new ways of thinking, and there are instances (like this one) where it won’t.

Usually, you don’t have so much to loose by offering different opinions. But in this case, and especially with the cancel culture mindset of toxic communities such as this, you will give this group of women your authenticity, and they will destroy you for it.

You loose. Your family looses. And for what? Groups like this get challenged relentlessly, and it doesn’t enlighten them to different views.

Sometimes we have to make the least crappy choice of two crappy options. You will not loose your authenticity simply by not challenging an opinion. But would you be loosing part of yourself if you were ostracised from the art world? Perhaps, reframe your thinking as wearing armor that’s needed in order to do something you love and to proved for your family, rather than a lack of authenticity.

Just keep doing what your doing, thrive at what you love doing, vent to and laugh with people who you can be your authentic self with safely, and don’t be so hard on yourself.

Especially don’t throw it all away offering authenticity with people who don’t deserve it.

cathatesrudy · 2022-12-02T23:40:24+00:00

Hello fellow RPW creative person, I’m so relieved to know I’m not the only one that has this struggle.

I wish I had more advice to offer, it can definitely feel isolating, but I’ve found that most people don’t really ask about my private life or political views and I can still essentially be myself I just don’t get to develop deeper relationships with the people I interact with in the art world which ends up being fine because I still have lots of deeper relationships with people outside the art world.

I don’t do anything art wise that betrays who I am or my values, and I don’t support other artists who work against the things I believe in.

I do sometimes worry that I’m also being fake, but I love creating and sharing and I never lie, if someone goes off about something that doesn’t sit well with me I distance myself from them. But also I don’t depend on my art for an income, it’s ALL passion projects that feel richer in having been shared, if I needed to rely on relationships with other art people for an income I’m sure it would weigh more heavily on me.

I will say I did make a friend during my time interacting with other art people who is not directly in line with me but we have had some deeper conversations and see eye to eye on more real life stuff than I’m used to in other creative types. It is possible, we are out there, but we sure are few and far between and I just wanted to express that I also feel what you’re feeling, you aren’t alone.

Euphoric-Chain-5155 · 2022-12-02T19:49:11+00:00

I know some people that share both your views, and the conundrum you find yourself in. As much as I want to tell you to fearlessly be yourself, it would be bad advice. Cancel culture is getting worse, with no end in sight, and if you are more open with those "ultra-liberal feminists", one of them will certainly try to destroy your life. Probably whichever one(s) isn't as pretty as you.

Instead, I would say start looking for other people in your circumstances, and I know for a fact they exist. Here are too starting points:

Get on a few of the smaller social media apps that are the de facto sanctuaries of people harassed and banned off of Reddit and Facebook. I won't type them out here, but you should find them without too much effort.
Think of those adjectives you used to describe yourself in your post, and any others that might apply, and search for those terms + "Art Collective". You may find what you're looking for.

cringe_but_not_a_sin · 2022-12-02T20:29:12+00:00

I think just fake it. As a professional, you put your work ahead of your own ego. People who make their art all about themselves, how liberal and feminist they are, probably aren't good artists and need the extra attention and edge being popular is. What you believe is none of their business.

If you're really good at art, you can be as authentic as you want, and people have no choice but to support you because you're the top 1%. I'm quite certain some of the top artists are based but don't talk about it. They know the work comes first.

sicrm · 2022-12-02T19:04:55+00:00

In fact, nobody even knows I’m a housewife but my closest friends and family. The reason I let people assume I’m a liberal feminist is because my livelihood is on the line

spend more time talking to them than people you have to put an act around.

also, can’t you sell your work online?

kittenegg25 · 2022-12-02T20:20:53+00:00

I am crazy, I would be authentic lol but I so understand not wanting to. Have you considered just not having a personal relationship with any of these people, or do you feel that that is important to your work (will actually make you more money)?

Edit: Punctuation.

NamelessOneHere · 2022-12-02T18:21:41+00:00

Why do you call yourself a housewife if you're earning a livelihood as a performer?

cbunni666 · 2022-12-03T00:54:08+00:00

Personally I wouldn't mention it to anyone. It's not really faking. It's letting them think what they wanna think. If they are wrong and find out later then I guess it's their fault for assuming instead of getting to know you. If they are going to judge you then they really don't know what being a feminist is really about. You can be a feminist and a housewife. Women want to be treated equally and respected as human beings by the man. If you want to work in the world, fine. Be a housewife, fine. It's your choice as a woman without a man telling you otherwise. That's being feminist. Not knocking other women because they choose to do one thing while some do another. There is always this war between housewives vs career woman that will never go away. Just be you.

gd_reinvent · 2022-12-03T02:59:12+00:00

Don't talk about politics and religion at work. It's an easy way to get cancelled.

If other people want to overshare, just go, "Mhmm." "Mhmm."

Nandemodekiru · 2022-12-04T04:39:07+00:00

How are you betraying your values by keeping your mouth shut? If you know well that none of these people are going to listen to you / are going to judge you fairly, then what’s the point of shooting yourself in the foot?

Live by actions, not by words.

UnbotheredDee · 2022-12-03T04:04:40+00:00

What would Jesus do? What has he (or one of the prophets) done while in a similar situation? I'd recommend studying the prophet Daniel

Various-Lie-4045 · 2022-12-03T04:17:25+00:00

So wild that being “closeted” has swung to the other side of the pendulum. Next comes a Straight Rights movement. Just back and forth on the hands of the clock until the collapse. Just give me the popcorn while I watch it burn down.

AutoModerator · 2022-12-02T18:02:08+00:00

Title: Should I just keep faking it?

Full text: Both my husband and I are quite artsy and run in artistic circles. I went to school for performing arts and now do a lot of creative projects. I freelance and make some money off it, but mostly I’m a housewife with lots of passion projects. I have more traditional, redpill, and conservative values and am a Christian.

Unfortunately, 99.9% of people in the arts are VERY liberal, woke, and feminist. A lot are atheists. On top of that, I live in a very liberal area. The thing is, I don’t really care if people are liberal or whatever. It’s the ultra woke feminists that get to me. And in the artistic circles and my city are where the ultra woke feminists are.

As a result, I constantly feel like I have to be fake. I don’t lie and tell people I’m liberal per se, but I never challenge peoples views or hint that I’m a RP conservative housewife. In fact, nobody even knows I’m a housewife but my closest friends and family. The reason I let people assume I’m a liberal feminist is because my livelihood is on the line. I’m pretty sure that most people wouldn’t work with me if they knew my beliefs. And I don’t ever want to give up on performing or putting my work out there.

So I’m stuck between being authentic and keeping my good reputation. I’m terrified of being cancelled. Ladies, what should I do? Should I just keep up the facade and smile and nod anytime someone talks about feminism? How do I stop feeling like I’m betraying my values?

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BudgetInteraction811 · 2022-12-03T03:52:14+00:00

What do you have to fake? Are you pretending not to be a housewife or hiding it because you are afraid of receiving backlash?

ReflexionSolutions · 2022-12-03T07:20:05+00:00

I know what you feel. I have the same preoccupation currently. Do I tell people what I think, and object with arguments when they say something I don't agree with, but then I might get enemies and lose friendships, or do I keep my mouth shut but then contribute to the progression of those views by not opposing them? For now I kept my mouth relatively shut, just letting some of what I think filter through. That's because of once you in decide to speak up there is no coming back. So I actually didn't really made a choice yet.

I think you shouldn't feel bad about hiding your values. Sometimes it's important to have people in the inside that can slowly counteract popular woke ideology. Also, try to find other artists who share the same views as you, because you're probably not the only one faking it. Who knows where will meeting the others lead?

Brakina · 2022-12-03T12:37:21+00:00

I feel you, I’m kinda in the same pickle but I personally couldn’t be honest with my colleagues. So you’re already a step ahead. Don’t fake anything but don’t hide anything either.

herbertwillyworth · 2022-12-03T16:14:36+00:00

I'm curious exactly what aspects of feminism you think are inconsistent with RPW.

My understanding is that feminism (when done right) stands up for women's freedom to choose their own pathes and direct their own lives. One possible path women have the right to choose (among the many other possibilities embraced by feminism) is that of living as a traditional housewife. I fail to see how "feminism" in a general sense comes into conflict with living a traditional lifestyle.

I think the problem emerges when fascists posing as feminists attempt to impose the rule that women MUST reject traditional lifestyles. These people definitely exist, but they do not represent feminism as a whole, despite whatever they say.

cleanmindhappymind · 2022-12-07T15:20:46+00:00

I could have written this post. I fake it. Being honest led to some scary moments in my career and friendships. PICK YOUR BATTLES. Every so often you will find a topic or a person where a little bit more nuance is available. That can be really satisfying. But it's not worth it to push it, IMO.

One reminder I got from therapy that I found helpful: your friendships do not need to be based on social/political issues. In the woke art world that can be groundbreaking. But I've actually found that I still enjoy my relationships if we talk about something else. Some friendships I really had to train out of this because politics was our go-to, but I have found even more closeness and satisfaction from those friendships by giving more attention to other things that we read, music we listen to, etc. If politics or social issues have to come up, stick to the safe areas.

And then, online communities like this one has been super helpful for getting all the other thoughts off my chest.

I also have found ways to make RPW arguments in a way that passes as radical feminism.

kkat02 · 2022-12-09T02:50:08+00:00

Are you more afraid of not fitting in and potentially losing friends or violating your conscience and sacrificing your values? Choose wisely.

It’s difficult, I’m in a similar situation to you. I stopped lying to people about my beliefs. I don’t shout them from the rooftop but when asked I answer. Im also aware that I don’t have any unfounded beliefs so im confident in my answers and reasoning. What happened was some people got weeded out and a lot of people got weeded in. Im happy not that I don’t have to fake my beliefs.

alady-in-the-streets · 2022-12-14T07:22:58+00:00

Well, I'm late to the party but I feel the need to comment because I'm also an artist. To me, being an artist means being intensely honest because people do not connect to art that holds something back. I've lost a lot of friends over my views, but I feel free to say exactly what I think, and if people don't like it... sucks for them. How can you feel free to express yourself when you're self-censoring? To me, that defeats the purpose of creating anything at all.

Title	Should I just keep faking it?
Author	cupieheart
Upvotes	66
Comments	55
Date	December 2, 2022 6:02 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/zasugr/should_i_just_keep_faking_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/should-i-just-keep-faking-it.1143191 https://theredarchive.com/post/1143191

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