I dove headfirst into the LD skills a little less than a year ago as a newlywed. My marriage is all around pretty good. But I was unhappy with myself and was lacking confidence. There were some weak spots within my marriage that I wasn’t too happy about and I wanted to try and fix it. What I mean is we would have big fights over very petty little things. Something small would blow up due to lack of communication. We’re both very passionate and strong headed, and we’re also both pretty emotional. But I want to emphasize that it was never anything serious, and nothing we should be arguing about in the first place. So this is what I wanted to fix.

So I’ve been diving into the skills. To spare a super long post, what I noticed is this: I’m so much happier with myself and in my own life. I’ve glown up so much myself, physically and emotionally. But it hasn’t really changed my marriage. We still have petty fights but at the end of the day we love each other. He never hit me or cheated or financially abused me. Which tells me we need better communication, not the skills. Personally, I would NEVER stay with a cheater or abuser.

What I’m trying to say is, the skills haven’t been that applicable to my marriage. The very thing she is against (trying to communicate) has been what helps my marriage. The skills have helped with my personal happiness for many reasons, but not necessarily my marriage.

****Which leads me to the point of this post: I can’t get over how LD seems to condone abusive husbands. I’ve listened to most of her podcast episodes and the thing that deterred me in the first place is how awful some of these husbands are. She encourages women to stay with cereal cheaters and act like it doesn’t still happen. Men who call their wives the most ungodly things. Men who abandon their children. I understand that it takes two to tango, but some of these men are downright physically and emotionally abusive. She will ask if he’s still cheating and the woman being interviewed will say “I don’t know.” And that makes my stomach turn.

In RPW, we believe not every man is captain material. And clearly, LD is encouraging women to… for lack of a better term… let these beta males shit all over their lives. I’m sorry this is worded so strongly, but I can’t seem to get past this. So I want to open up a discussion…

Have the skills helped your marriage? How so or how not?

Have the skills made you happier?

Do you think LD is encouraging women to stay with abusers?

Do you agree with LD’s “no divorce no matter how bad the marriage” approach?

What are your overall thoughts?