~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 10 | How do I lighten my husband’s load?This makes me sad. I honestly tried to do all of this for my husband and quite frankly it was all within himself. He had to figure out why he was unhappy. It eventually turned into emotional abuse and I had to stand up for myself. Please don’t underestimate your value and what you do. Taking care of children and a home (especially when you add home education to that list) is huge. I did that for years. I let my husband undervalue me and then I did it to myself. I always felt I wasn’t doing enoug… | /r/RedPillWives | 12/08/25 10:03 AM |
| 1 | What Does the Bible Say About Birth Control?I stated my opinion on what the author is trying to say. I’ve heard the argument before so I’m assuming I know what verses they’ll use. The quiver full idea, the verse where the man “spilled his seed on the ground” and so was punished (I can’t remember his name off the top of my head). I am debating so I’m confused as to what you would like me to add to my comment to make it more debate-like? I think a woman’s choice to use birth control or not is a personal choice and not something that someone… | /r/RedPillWives | 01/08/25 03:05 PM |
| 9 | What Does the Bible Say About Birth Control?I didn’t even read the whole thing partly because I fully disagree with the transformed wife on 99% of her points of view. The Bible doesn’t mention birth control at all. Pro or against. You can take a few scriptures out of context to support a claim (either way). And if we want to use apologists dismissal (or acceptance) of various issues in the Bible - cultural context matters. How can it have an opinion on something like birth control when the context is very different. Having lots of childre… | /r/RedPillWives | 01/08/25 12:28 PM |
| 2 | I want to vomit in my mouth when I look at my husband. (Metaphorically)I agree don’t just up and leave - but definitely reach out to see what options you do have and how they can help. | /r/RedPillWives | 29/05/25 08:37 PM |
| 2 | I want to vomit in my mouth when I look at my husband. (Metaphorically)There’s a good book that really helped me: Enough is Enough by David Clarke. It is religious so he comes from it from that angle (like giving your spouse a chance before doing the divorce fully). The other things in the book are helpful. If you contact a domestic abuse service they will help you. They’ll help with housing, helping you find a job. And remember when you divorce - you get half and then possibly child support. So you do have options. That trapped feeling is awful - you are not trapp… | /r/RedPillWives | 29/05/25 08:25 PM |
| 1 | “Open Communication”I unsubscribed to most of the redpill stuff but somehow missed this one (probably because it isn’t as active). I’ve found all of it to be toxic eventually- the women stuff just has a nice pink bow on it making it hard to see the stuff lurking below. My husband and I nearly got divorced - which woke him up and we are working on things from a much different perspective than redpill. | /r/RedPillWives | 22/05/25 11:30 AM |
| 2 | “Open Communication”I’m willing to have my husband open up to me. I wasn’t always good at it when I was younger and less mature (I took too many thing personally like if we disagreed on something). Our marriage has changed considerably since we’ve both matured and grown and are able to really hear each other with less judgement. My husband has been very sad lately because of the ways our marriage has hurt me (I’m largely out of the redpill woman space here and elsewhere). He’s cried a lot over it. I have zero issue… | /r/RedPillWives | 20/05/25 10:29 AM |
| 1 | My husband doesn’t speak my love languageI haven’t posted here in a very long time and my views have shifted considerably (I’m not sure if this will be allowed…) Heres a book I’ve been reading that I wish I read when I was a newly wed - The Marriage You Want by the Gregoires. I don’t have much advice beyond that and my own marriage has gotten me pretty burned out. Although funny enough my later posts here got me decent advice about how I was going to burn myself out with that cycle you mentioned. Anyhow - the most common sense thoughtf… | /r/RedPillWives | 27/04/25 11:57 AM |
| 1 | Feeling very confused and conflicted“I see you, and I hear in your words how exhausted you must be.” Thank you. This genuinely made me tear up. | /r/RedPillWives | 14/11/24 03:54 PM |
| 1 | Feeling very confused and conflictedI’ve seen lots of doctors to no avail unfortunately. I have low iron and low vitamin B so I’m hoping supplementing those will make a difference. My husband gets very nasty and mean about me having changed my view on marriage. He doesn’t see it as being naive he sees it as me lying to him. We had this conversation last night again and he restated even more firmly that I lied to him about what kind of marriage he would have with me. He garbage bag comment was to show the extent of his OCD. He stru… | /r/RedPillWives | 10/11/24 01:53 AM |
| 11 | My in-laws hate me & I have no idea how to move forward with my marriage. Help!You can check out the surrendered wife subreddit for more Laura Doyle based things. You can continue using her skills. And you can use spouse fulfilling prophecies about this issue. And set your own boundaries for what will engage with and walk away from. I stopped going to my husband’s family Christmas’s because it was so stressful. I said I would spend the time with my mom instead for that time. I didn’t say anything mean, I didn’t argue. I just quietly did what I needed to do to save my sanit… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/11/24 07:46 PM |
| 1 | Feeling very confused and conflictedI appreciate the feedback. I’ve been down the Laura Doyle road for a long time. I’ve been very frustrated by it because sure everything will seem wonderful for a week or two and then I’m “disrespectful” and get the silent treatment for a week or two then him being angry and it’s a whole cycle that has been going on for years. If I say thank you and show gratitude- it’s used against me later (to prove that he does certain things that I don’t). And you can basically apply that to any of her skills… | /r/RedPillWives | 23/10/24 10:18 AM |
| 6 | Feeling very confused and conflictedI’ve seen every doctor you can imagine - naturopath, MD (multiple), psychiatrist… I’ve done all the supplements and diets (I was gluten free for 3 years to see if that would help!). I’ve done various levels of workout programs and they leave me more tired (yes after doing them for a year at a time). Oh and a sleep study. I realize my being tired has a negative affect on my marriage. It sucks for both of us. I’ve learned to just deal with it and press through but sometimes I just can’t and I get … | /r/RedPillWives | 19/10/24 01:06 AM |
| 3 | Feeling very confused and conflictedMarried for 18 years… It ties in because I’m feeling discontent with trying to submit. He’s demanding it but when I have submitted in the past he gets annoyed because I’m deferring to him on things. For example since I don’t tend to see messes, I ask him what he would like things to looks like. He gets frustrated saying that I should just have a set standard. But I had a “standard” and he was unhappy with it. So I’ve tried to somewhat maintain a level of cleanliness that he’s OK with (it’s chall… | /r/RedPillWives | 18/10/24 07:43 PM |
| 2 | Handling Impotence in MarriageDoes he have any sexual trauma? Does he have any underlying religious trauma? My husband had a difficulty with sex because of his lovely Catholic guilt. Had he had his testosterone checked? It’s really concerning health wise that he’s experiencing this so young. He’s either not attracted to you or the way you’re having sex, he’s got death grip from masturbating, he’s got anxiety or he’s got a health issue. I’d suggest some play around sex that doesn’t have any expectations on climax. Like he can… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/10/24 08:56 PM |
| 3 | How to respond when husband is depressed?I totally understand. You can say “I can’t” and not go. I wouldn’t make a big thing of it. Just that you can’t go. Your mental health matters. He’s made it clear what he plans and you can’t expect or hope for any different. If you can’t go on the dates without resentment - it’s okay to say “I can’t go”. And then fill your day with self care things. Go see a movie or get a massage (don’t stay home if you’re going to tackle all the cleaning jobs hahaha). You also matter. You getting a break from b… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/10/24 08:09 PM |
| 1 | How to respond when husband is depressed?Well that sucks. And I’m sorry to hear that. I’m probably too petty and wouldn’t go lol. I know that’s not the mature way to handle it. Perhaps just try to have as much fun as you can and ignore his mood. | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/10/24 07:59 PM |
| 3 | How to respond when husband is depressed?That is very frustrating. We rarely get a full day together either. The last one was canceled because of bad weather (the kids were going to go on a camping trip for a weekend with friends). And then when it’s something out of your control like him being distant - that’s even more discouraging. My personal experience is to not go into it with too many expectations - good or bad. Don’t go into it with the attitude toward him like “you ruined this!” Because that will pile guilt and what not on sho… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/10/24 07:20 PM |
| 11 | How to respond when husband is depressed?This is hard and I’ve lived it many times. I still don’t know the “right” answer. As someone who gets depressed, I realize it isn’t my husbands job to make me feel better. Having him reach out with something like - I’m here for you - is nice. But in the end it’s up to me to do the things I know I need to do for my mental health. It feels very lonely to be in your shoes. I think a respectful, “I’m here for you” is a good start. But otherwise enjoy your day for what it is even if he does or doesn’… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/10/24 02:15 PM |
| 37 | How do I (24F) stop behaving like a demon?I’m not a mental health professional so take all of this with a grain of salt. This is based on my experience of being someone who was (is) very emotionally volatile and would take it out on my husband. the biggest thing I realized was that my behavior was abusive. If it was my husband treating me the way I treated him with my meltdowns, I would have been encouraged to leave him. When I took a step back and really paid attention to how I was treating someone I claimed I loved and respected. That… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/10/24 07:10 PM |
| 8 | Swallowing too many pills this weekMy husband lives for dangerous situations like that. We are in Ohio and getting the remnants (not at all what it was like down south, but some places are closing early or cancelling events) - I want to hunker down and stay home until it stops raining… my husband would love nothing more than to drive through all of it. He finds it pretty insulting if I question it. He takes precautions (not as many as I would lol). So me questioning that would be questioning his ability to handle himself in an em… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/09/24 07:02 PM |
| 1 | What are the reasons for divorceI’ve been a big supporter of men’s rights. I get frustrated when the responses are incredibly naive and hateful so I thought I would share my experience. Thank you for your thoughtful reply. | /r/MensRights | 30/08/24 02:29 AM |
| 0 | What are the reasons for divorceIf you’d like a serious answer… I am a woman. And I’m in an unhappy marriage. My husband was very unhappy (but chose to hide it) for the first few years of marriage. When he couldn’t quite hide it anymore he got incredibly angry. I took responsibility for the things he wanted me to change and I’ve worked on them considerably. However the resentment he holds toward me makes it nearly impossible to have a relationship. I don’t know what will push him away and it changes one day to the next. One da… | /r/MensRights | 29/08/24 11:50 PM |
| 3 | Whenever I say I like something….He definitely sees those things as a duty or obligation versus doing them out of kindness. It is very hard because even now he is like “why aren’t you more sad about what’s going on with your mom?” And I’m like - I can’t be. It’s going to come back as a punishment later that I wasn’t holding up my end of things. Because that’s exactly what has happened. I have said all the “right” things - “oh I’m so glad I can count on you” “thank you for taking care of these things, I know I should have been d… | /r/RedPillWives | 27/08/24 02:04 PM |
| 2 | Whenever I say I like something….When I’ve asked him if we could do that he will say yes. But then it’s a big production of “well you wanted this. Not even like - I wanted to do this with you… just “well we did what you wanted” is akin to the things he says about it. Then those days just tend to fill up for him. I’ll ask about a Saturday and it’s busy so then we can’t. So I’ve stopped asking. If it isn’t something he doesn’t want to do he does it out of obligation but it will be misery the whole time. Like “how was work?” “Fine… | /r/RedPillWives | 23/08/24 02:24 AM |
| 3 | Whenever I say I like something….Thank you for the reminder of self care. I think the other things you said are very wise and I appreciate your input. | /r/RedPillWives | 22/08/24 09:59 PM |
| 3 | Whenever I say I like something….I’m dealing with a lot of big emotions. My sisters and I have to decide if we should continue my mom’s treatment or put her on hospice. She’s been in the hospital twice in the last 2 weeks. I guess in my coping with that I’m thinking a lot about my husband and how he is dealing with my emotions right now. It’s been a years long thing between us and sometimes I feel crazy? Like it’s all my fault and I shouldn’t expect differently? So anytime I start really thinking about it I tend to dismiss myse… | /r/RedPillWives | 22/08/24 09:48 PM |
| 2 | Whenever I say I like something….Thanks. Will do. I’m having a very hard time with my emotions right now because my mom is going on hospice. And all these things that I did with Laura Doyle feel like all these things with my husband are unresolved. His behavior during this time has me just so angry and sad and lonely. He’s been super distant and initiating zero affection (if I ask for a hug he will hug me) and then said my emotion was too overwhelming for him and can’t I see how stressed he is with doing everything at home whil… | /r/RedPillWives | 22/08/24 09:40 PM |
| 1 | I need stress management/life adviceI work very, very part time and it’s more of a hobby than anything else. Honestly every time I think about quitting I get sad because it’s my time away from home. We’ve also made some financial decisions that make it hard for me to quit. Nothing crazy or over the top just trying to pay for kids’ braces without going into debt. | /r/RedPillWives | 16/08/24 02:01 PM |
| 1 | I need stress management/life adviceHe looks at him working and providing being the expectation on him. I wouldn’t respect him if he didn’t go to work because he didn’t feel like it. That’s his rationale. He is working to create the home and family and I should also being working. That looks like a clean home and disciplining the kids and what overseeing their education. He will get involved but then he will be distant and unavailable because he has to get involved. I hate it. I used to think it was normal and I beat myself up a w… | /r/RedPillWives | 15/08/24 11:03 PM |
| 1 | I need stress management/life adviceI’ve read it. He views the house being messy as disrespect. So whatever I do from the book - if the house is messy he sees me as being disrespectful. I don’t know what I’m looking for. If I had the money I’d solve a lot of the issues. I don’t have the money. I have to figure out how to do what I need and not go crazy doing it I guess. | /r/RedPillWives | 15/08/24 07:25 PM |
| 1 | I need stress management/life adviceI assure you, if any of those things were options I would do them. I’ve said no to my husband a lot and it’s resulted in him saying that my responsibility as a wife is to manage this stuff. It’s out a big strain on our marriage unfortunately. I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t care so much what he is happy with (or not happy with). Insurance does not cover a caretaker to the degree my mom needs. She lives with my sister full time so normally I’m more involved with taking her to the doctor or… | /r/RedPillWives | 15/08/24 03:43 PM |
| 3 | 'Selfish people do better'Check out Jordan Peterson. Read 12 rules for life, take the big 5 personality test, listen to his lectures. That really helped me. One thing I learned is that growing up does require sacrifice of some sort. Don’t hang onto the “positive” things until you know they’re healthy and coming from the right place. If being selfless is a protective mechanism then it isn’t healthy for you or anyone else. It may be something that is sacrificed on your growing up process. The reason I mention Jordan Peters… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/08/24 09:05 AM |
| 2 | What does your husband do for work?My husband is now a warehouse manager (it’s a small business so really he does a lot more than manage the warehouse). | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/08/24 11:51 PM |
| 3 | My husband is emotionally drainingThank you. I know these things and then lose sight of them I’m so much more at peace when I’m focused on what i am doing. Every so often I get it I my head to attempt “fixing” things. Or it seems like things are going in a different direction. Partly it started with going to a weddings month and a half ago. He drank a little more than usual and got really loosened up. We had a lot of fun and he said a lot of things I’ve missed (telling me that I’m pretty, that he’s happy I am his wife, singing s… | /r/RedPillWives | 03/08/24 04:07 PM |
| 4 | My husband is emotionally drainingHe will tell me things I’ve done in the past that he says have done permanent damage. I don’t know what to do with that. It’s related to how I didn’t keep the house clean when we were first married (think 8-10 years ago). It’s very frustrating to me because that’s changed a lot. And he seems to think me being that way in the past invalidates any hurt I may have from him. I’ve taken all the responsibility of what I had done. The other side of it is again - sometimes it’s bothering him and sometim… | /r/RedPillWives | 03/08/24 02:45 PM |
| 7 | Anyone else struggling with a persistent husband after giving birth?Perhaps not sex related, but definitely check out a physical therapist that specializes in pelvic floor. Aside from that there’s an amazing online option called The Tummy Team. After PT there’s a fitness program called Fit2b. Beth is a trainer who specializes in women’s health particularly how to reconnect to your pelvic floor and protect your abs with every day things and then exercise when your ready for it. Aside from other recommendations regarding communication and taking it easy… My doctor… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/07/24 02:32 AM |
| 7 | Disagreement about school routineIt really depends. This has been a huge argument in my house. We homeschool and also have a child in school (my husband was homeschooled which does matter in the scenario). I’m much more laid back and prefer natural consequences (ie you forget your water bottle you get thirsty hopefully you don’t forget it again). My husband is much more like yours. No they need to have actual consequences from us to make sure it doesn’t happen again. This led to a lot of tension over our oldest who I let play v… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/04/24 03:17 PM |
| 2 | How to handle frustrating situation with husband in a feminine manner?I have 4 kids and that would be very inconvenient- I agree. Hmmm I am honestly not sure. I know there are lots of others here that would probably have better ideas than me . | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/04/24 10:50 PM |
| 2 | How to handle frustrating situation with husband in a feminine manner?Have you voiced the concern to him about being stranded? What is his response to that? | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/04/24 10:47 PM |
| 1 | Started reading "The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands" and feeling heartbroken and dejected - advice on getting my needs met?I guess my question is - how was it when you dating and first married? You chose to marry him for a reason. What was that reason? Sometimes we can become controlling and disrespectful and our husbands become withdrawn and defensive. (Doesn’t make it OK if he treats you crappy but if he perceives that you just don’t respect him that could be the root of it). | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/04/24 10:05 PM |
| 5 | Started reading "The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands" and feeling heartbroken and dejected - advice on getting my needs met?Did you do anything wrong there? Perhaps he’s in the wrong and it isn’t your job to make sure he was happy in that moment. If you responded disrespectfully then you contributed. But if your tone was even and you weren’t rude then he needs to regulate his own emotions. Relieving tension if it’s on “his paper” isnt your responsibility. For me being approachable versus clingy meant me not constantly pursuing him and saying “is everything OK”. It looked like me not needing him to constantly reassure… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/04/24 10:01 AM |
| 14 | Started reading "The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands" and feeling heartbroken and dejected - advice on getting my needs met?So I love Dr Laura but I seriously disagree with some of her points (like if a woman calls in about lack of sex she basically says get over it versus a man wanting sex which is the be all and end of of masculinity). That’s why for something like this I’d suggest Laura Doyle. Focus on taking care of yourself. Focus on what you can do for yourself. If he’s nitpicking say “ouch” and walk away. What you are doing now is going to build resentment. I’ve been there. I thought if I just take everything … | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/04/24 08:22 PM |
| 35 | I feel as though tradwife content has rotted my brain and my marriage is struggling.I got severely burned out on the Christian ideals of what a “good wife” is. What I learned is that each marriage is different. We have sort of gender roles, but then I work some so he cooks and does laundry the days I’m working. I handle most of the kids stuff. He does the main providing. We share finances and don’t split things - it’s not an either or proposition. You can work AND let your hair down at the end of the day and be feminine and appreciate his efforts. It’s not a black and white thi… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/04/24 03:25 PM |
| 10 | Husband Breaking PromisesDoes he typically keep his promises? Is this unusual for him? If so, perhaps he’s stressed too and it’s affecting him. What did he say when you mentioned those things not being done and you staying up late? Did you ask him to stay up with you to get them done? For me - if I focus so hard on what I didn’t get (whether I’m being fair or not) then I have a bad day. We unfortunately don’t always get what we want/need because life happens and it sucks sometimes. Put on some uplifting music, light a c… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/04/24 08:23 AM |
| 17 | What is the female equivalent of "full stomach, empty balls"?Beyond financial security, emotional security and stability. | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/03/24 09:30 PM |
| 15 | Husband has questionsI agree with the others about not mentioning the book. If you want to expand further you can say something like, “I realize how disrespectful I have been in the past and I want to change that”. Which is true - a book is showing you that you’re disrespectful so there’s no lie there. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/03/24 09:46 PM |
| 8 | Need help with sex...I need lube almost every time. I don’t understand the logic there. Oh wait - that’s a red pill guy thing. If you can’t get wet then it’s insulting to him or something. I think that’s stupid af. Use lube my dear it will make life much more pleasant. He need to deal with his ego trip. It’s 100% normal to use lube. Even when I start off okay I still wind up needing it. And heck I even need it on him if I give him a BJ. | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/03/24 08:42 PM |
| 8 | How to become a better homemaker?Hi! I am a homeschooling mom of 4 who also works (very) part time outside of the home. Well… I’ve never really figured this out so I may not be the best person to ask…. First off, find some sort of routine. That may look different for different people. There is really strict (something like Managers of Their Homes might be beneficial *I do not endorse their religious views and someone might not want to purchase based on that). Or something a little looser but still structured (you’d want FlyLady… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/03/24 01:38 AM |
| 12 | How to avoid lasting relationship damage from postpartum mental health concerns?For better or for worse is exactly this. Self care is vital especially with post partum. And the guilt of trying to be this particular kind of wife is only going to add more pressure. This is the time for your husband/partner/captain to step in a help you navigate some of this versus you needing to be perfect. Having a baby is insane. You grew an entire human!! Your hormones are all over the place. Sleep (or lack of) also plays a huge part. This massive change just in your own physical body let … | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/02/24 02:25 AM |
| 9 | Need advice on how to approach my man without sounding like I’m nagging or complaining!!Just don’t do them. You can say “I can’t” when he requests one. | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/02/24 03:52 PM |
| 5 | Need advice on how to approach my man without sounding like I’m nagging or complaining!!I’m sorry that I don’t have an answer for you beyond that. It is a very frustrating and painful place to be. My first thoughts are that since you are not married you do have an easier time walking away. Or even that since you aren’t married then you giving him wife privileges (like a BJ) is not required if he isn’t going to provide husbandly things. Was it like this before you moved in to get ther? | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/02/24 03:09 PM |
| 20 | Need advice on how to approach my man without sounding like I’m nagging or complaining!!He sounds very selfish. He’s willing to accept a BJ without offering anything in return. Even someone with low testosterone can give his partner an orgasm. He’s hearing you and choosing not to act on what you need. I personally would not perform any more BJs | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/02/24 01:58 PM |
| 3 | "What do you think?" - how the heck do you respond to this question?!Our job isn’t to keep our men happy all the time. That’s exhausting. He asked you a question and you answered honestly. There’s nothing wrong with it! Even if you disagreed you can answer that honestly. You can say that you can’t (which is the Laura Doyle answer). And whatever he thinks, but that you can’t. Which might also be an honest answer that makes him mad. | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/02/24 10:52 AM |
| 18 | Getting married in 2 months and fiancé broke down in tears due to sexless lifeI agree with holding off on marriage. But also read The Empowered Wife by Laura Doyle. If you know the IUD is causing issues why not have it removed? | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/02/24 02:18 PM |
| 2 | If finances were no obstacle, how many children would you have?She was 40 when she had me. | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/02/24 05:57 PM |
| 3 | How to have an emotional connection?So in reality the only thing you can change is you. Which is frustrating, I totally get it. What are things that you can take responsibility for in your marriage? What are things you can work on in yourself (not on the marriage). Being an empowered/surrendered wife doesn’t mean being a doormat. It means learning that you can’t make him answer you honestly and that’s something on his side of the street to clean up. I don’t know any of the dynamics between you except that you are unhappy with the … | /r/RedPillWives | 01/02/24 02:47 PM |
| 3 | How to have an emotional connection?What is something good about him? Is he a good man overall? What things are you asking him? Was he ever different then the way he is now? I handle finances and planning in my marriage - being a leader means delegating… my husband delegates those things to me. | /r/RedPillWives | 01/02/24 02:39 PM |
| 2 | How to have an emotional connection?I’m asking for clarification on what does it mean to be a leader in a relationship/being in control? What if you let go of trying to be in control of him? What would happen if you didn’t say anything negative to him (like the skills in surrendered wife?)? If what you are doing isn’t working now, why not “take the risk” and try the skills in the surrendered wife? | /r/RedPillWives | 01/02/24 01:03 PM |
| 2 | How to have an emotional connection?Why do you think it will end poorly? And what do you mean/expect by needing to be the leader in the relationship? | /r/RedPillWives | 01/02/24 12:43 PM |
| 2 | How to have an emotional connection?I would suggest reading The Empowered Wife. It’s more about becoming a woman who is open to emotional connection and finding happiness/contentment within yourself. And part of that is figuring out what parts of the relationship are your responsibility and what parts are his. | /r/RedPillWives | 01/02/24 12:31 PM |
| 6 | If finances were no obstacle, how many children would you have?I’ve got 4 kids. My husband would have loved more. However I don’t handle pregnancy well. Or rather post partum. My hormones aren’t happy about it. I wanted to be done by early 30s. My mom was an older mom and that was hard. I want to be a young grandma lol. | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/02/24 10:22 AM |
| 6 | Why am I so combative and struggle with being pleasant?Check out Jordan Peterson’s discussions on personality traits particularly regarding agreeableness. It could be that you are simply low in agreeableness rather than anything else going on. It is something you can change but it take time & effort. If you are really curious you can take his big 5 personality test. It’s quite insightful. Edit: here’s a link… just one of many though https://youtu.be/5WXo1aFb8MY?si=-r92EF5eUI8PkSfm | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/01/24 01:54 PM |
| 19 | Bl*wjob vs Handj*b vs Regular S*xBJ’s are considered more submissive. For some men the visual of it is a huge turn on. And the focus is solely on providing pleasure for a man (or rather the pleasure the woman gets it’s because she is bringing pleasure to a man). | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/01/24 06:04 PM |
| 37 | Boyfriend defended domestic abuse (but has not been violent). Where to go from here?Trust your intuition on this one. Even conservative men are against hitting a woman. Sure there are weird RP takes on it, but those are the guys to avoid. I’m always hesitant to tell someone what to do because well, I’m a stranger on the internet. But IMO you aren’t over reacting here. Having strong convictions isn’t a bad thing. Don’t let him get into your head and make you question yourself on this. | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/01/24 01:53 PM |
| 71 | Boyfriend defended domestic abuse (but has not been violent). Where to go from here?My stance is that dating is exactly the time to weed out the people who you don’t sync with. Would someone else be OK with this guy’s stance on abuse? Sure. Are you okay with it? Maybe right now while you’re young and “in love”. What about if you had a daughter together he told her these things? And if your daughter got married and had a husband who thought these things were OK? What would you tell a friend if she were saying a guy she was dating were saying those things? | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/01/24 12:47 PM |
| 19 | I’m so tired of being stuckHonestly I’d sit him down and tell him to walk away from all of this insane drama. Or maybe you two are just made for each other? My other thought is you need to figure out what you want and what you need to take accountability for. If you want someone who is more responsible and someone you feel you can respect them, then you need to work on yourself. You can’t attract that sort of man without cleaning up your side of the street. And really take accountability. Not the wish washy - oh this happ… | /r/RedPillWives | 26/01/24 05:25 PM |
| 1 | Coping with the pastI hear you and no worries for the venting. That’s rough and sorry it’s what you are dealing with 😕 Hope everyone is feeling better! Sounds like you are one hard working lady! | /r/RedPillWives | 18/01/24 11:20 PM |
| 2 | Coping with the pastThank you. | /r/RedPillWives | 18/01/24 01:12 PM |
| 2 | Coping with the pastI do appreciate feeling heard that I do have things to be upset about. In the past he felt he didn’t have a partner with me. Like me being the primary caregiver and homemaker but me not keeping the house clean for example. And him having to come home from a hard day of work and have to make himself dinner. Or me not sticking to our budget. I do understand his frustration toward me. Which he hasn’t brought up in quite a while. Those are the things he got very angry about (that was something like … | /r/RedPillWives | 17/01/24 05:40 PM |
| 2 | Coping with the pastHe doesn’t think that any more. We both believed in spanking. I was 100% culpable. We have both since gone totally the opposite direction and feel very guilty about spanking. Of course I didnt put in the things that he does do and has done on his side that are positive. So there is that. He’s always provided and has been mostly a very present father. And I do realize my faults and areas where I was absolutely not a partner for him and he felt he couldn’t rely on me. So I realize the situation is… | /r/RedPillWives | 17/01/24 03:11 PM |
| 3 | Maintaining Attraction While NursingI found the hormones weren’t the issue. It was the mentality of going from mom to wife. And it felt strange having this dual purpose of my breasts and of course dealing with all the changes of my body. Having time to decompress and do things that are enjoyable that are separate from baby was incredibly important. And not like hours away from the baby but like taking a bath and using lotions and oils and whatnot to feel feminine. And wearing things that felt feminine were also incredibly importan… | /r/RedPillWives | 16/01/24 11:13 PM |
| 20 | Annoying comments from HusbandIf you don’t react and you just look like confused - like cock your head to the side and just kind of say “huh?” I guess I don’t get it?” That helps. It’s somewhat a matter of figuring out what people’s sense of humor is and pushing boundaries. There are things I react to in a way that’s outraged but I’m laughing some, my husband will keep doing that. If I’m like “yeah I don’t get that” he tends to stop lol. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/01/24 02:19 PM |
| 21 | I Asked My Husband to Pay Me a $1 an Hour to CleanI love that you figured out something like this for you! Out of curiosity- how do you track your hours spent cleaning? This is appealing to me lol. As well as tracking my homeschool hours to see what I’ve been doing and how to spend my time better. | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/12/23 07:46 PM |
| 38 | I haven't refused sex in months, but he's stopped giving me pleasure in responseI grab my husband’s hand and put it where I want while we are having sex. You can very sexily ask for what you want while you’re having sex. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/12/23 08:36 PM |
| 5 | Do men really enjoy providing or a coverup?If my husband won the lottery tomorrow he would quit his job in a heartbeat. He wants to provide and he feels a great responsibility to do it and he enjoys seeing the results of his family being provided for. He doesn’t always love it though. But this has definitely shifted culturally in terms of men and women contributing equally and it’ll be harder to find a man that wants to be the sole provider for a family. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/12/23 11:27 AM |
| 6 | Considering breaking upYou are doing all the wifely things and you are fairly new into the relationship (let alone not even married). And if you’re working full time the same rules don’t apply even in a marriage. Dating is exactly the time to figure out what you do and don’t want. You know who this guy is… is that who you want to be with? Listen to your dad. Sounds like a wise person who is looking out for his daughter. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/12/23 09:32 PM |
| 12 | Two women who can't cook are gonna shove bread into a bird's butt and we're gonna die. (Do I through a Boulgogi Coup on Christmas?)First of all this is hilarious and I love it (the post and the coup). If your husband is totally on board and understands what the fallout would be then I’d go for it. | /r/RedPillWives | 23/12/23 01:03 AM |
| 21 | We keep arguing over the smallest and stupidest thingsI will point out you mentioned a baby… that’s breeding grounds for trouble in a marriage. The role changes and the lack of sleep, etc. So first of all cut you and your husband a little slack. Secondly the question I ask is “is this the hill I want to die on?” Your husband may have done something here that was worth being annoyed about (I don’t think so but it’s not me). Is his getting you this candy bar worth this argument to the point where you are talking about leaving? Could you have responde… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/12/23 09:08 PM |
| 6 | How do I (44F) Deflect Our Gift to His (44m) Niece (4F)?Being 4 there’s not a whole lot you can do in the regard. If she runs over to say thank you to you (with I’m assuming a big hug), then you can just say “oh it wasn’t just me! It was from both of us”. | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/12/23 11:24 AM |
| 12 | Is my bf right to refuse to tell me who he talks about our relationship to?So this isn’t quite the same but my husband is in a men’s group that is confidential. He won’t tell me what others say (fair enough) but he also won’t tell me what he says either. It used to drive me insane. But I got over it. I would say I wouldn’t be happy with him talking to a woman about us. That would be my boundary. | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/12/23 10:54 PM |
| 20 | He makes me make all the decisionsMy husband prefers that I choose things that I like. So I typically plan things. I’ll say something like, “I would love a date this weekend” and his response is typically “awesome I’m in, what do you want to do”. My husband is very laid back and like he’s said before he just doesn’t think about things outside of the regular, daily things. It works for us. I’m good at planning those types of things and we usually enjoy ourselves. My husband made it clear that he’s usually isn’t ever worried about… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/12/23 01:55 PM |
| 2 | I’m scared my future husband will be repulsed by my high sex driveThis “honeymoon phase” thing has been brought up a few times recently. Is this real at this point? Or the same person posting the same question? | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/12/23 11:42 PM |
| 11 | Struggling with less sex in my relationshipYou are telling yourself a lot of things that aren’t true. And facing that is important. Is it true that you are less wanted? Confront your own thoughts about sex versus confronting him about it. As someone who is in a similar situation bringing it up frequently is a big turn off as well. Learning how to connect without sex is learning how to have a healthy, grown-up relationship. My husband started having severe panic attacks and OCD to where we were having sex maybe once a month. I took it ver… | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/12/23 12:29 PM |
| 8 | How do I as a new mom regain the lighter, fun, and more whimsical side of life?I think it takes practice. I think just doing the thing anyway even if there is guilt is important. But I always go back to filling my cup. If my cup is depleted then there’s no way I can serve. I really love an analogy I heard. She said we all have fruit we give our families (like the idea in the Bible of bearing fruit). Our fruit is either joy, cheerfulness, gratitude or it is exhaustion, bitterness, controlling, etc. Whatever we are doing we are serving our family - perhaps making dinner or c… | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/11/23 06:30 PM |
| 22 | How do I as a new mom regain the lighter, fun, and more whimsical side of life?Some thoughts that come to my mind: It takes time to regain any sense of balance. Personally it took me a year postpartum to feel any sort of normalcy. Between a new routine, my body changing, lack of sleep, hormones it took a while. Sacrifice doesn’t need to mean some serious thing where you can’t ever do anything for yourself. There’s nothing to stop you from getting a shower and putting on some makeup and a nice outfit. The idea of the yoga pants and spit up shirt is one I never totally under… | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/11/23 05:02 PM |
| 3 | Husband's libidoPhysical touch can be lots of things though that aren’t sexual. And sometimes we need to look at how to fill our spouses love language also. My husband’s libido tanked but his love language has always been physical touch. He likes massages and cuddling and just sitting where our legs are touching. Sex is just one way to connect. I’m going to assume you are fairly young and not married for very long. I used to have this very immature way of thinking. But, my dear, life doesn’t always give us what… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/11/23 01:06 AM |
| 12 | Husband's libidoI’ve learned that connection can happen on other levels besides sexual. And when one person isn’t into it is it even a connection in that case? | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/11/23 08:56 PM |
| 24 | Husband's libidoThis is weird. Sorry that sounds mean. But you can seduce your husband or ask him to do something for you. But to insist he allow you to go down on him is just off. It’s like “here my trained monkey, do what I want when I want it”. We all have differing sex drives and it can get frustrating to be with someone who has a sex drive that differs from yours. But it’s something to work through together. | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/11/23 08:28 PM |
| 14 | Dealing with husbands blindnessMy first thought is there is a lot there to deal with. When we get married and say our vows they have a lot of lovely emotion and thought there without the realization that when crap hits the fan - it’s hard. Mourning is necessary and giving up on those expectations of what life was supposed to be like. That’s hard and absolutely valid. You will both find ways to figure out all the ways to do things. Having grace and humor will probably go the same way. While this isnt anything like yours - my m… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/11/23 12:37 AM |
| 23 | Do Men Find Cuddling Effeminate?Some of this is serious overthinking. My husband is very masculine and he loves to cuddle. He doesn’t care how lol. I am a massage therapist and he would be happy for me to just rub his scalp and face for like an hour. And then hands and feet for another hour. It makes his happy. Other men might feel differently. | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/11/23 08:13 PM |
| 9 | How do you handle the pain?I’ve begun to really change my views on this topic. When I was first married my husband wanted more sex than I did. I didn’t realize how much it did hurt him that I would turn him down frequently. Although infrequent for us was less than 2-3 times a week (like if it had been 3 days without sex I would make a big effort to initiate). I went to this marriage conference where she talked about how important sex is to our husbands and we just need to “do it for Jesus” because it’s our duty as a wife.… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/11/23 10:54 AM |
| 2 | I am a mother to be in three weeks to a baby boy, and I'm wondering, what is your take on circumcision as a circumcised/uncircumcised man?Just as teenagers I mean. They’re older now | /r/MensRights | 11/11/23 05:50 PM |
| 8 | I am a mother to be in three weeks to a baby boy, and I'm wondering, what is your take on circumcision as a circumcised/uncircumcised man?I am a woman who fought for her son to be uncircumcised. My husband is and was like “yeah that’s just what you do, right?” I went down the rabbit hole of research and showed him how unnecessary is it and the times it is needed is rare. At the very least if it’s a route you choose to go, have it done by a pediatric urologist versus the doctor in the hospital. There’s never been any issues about my husband being circumcised vs my boys not being. We just explained what they need to do to clean thin… | /r/MensRights | 11/11/23 12:31 PM |
| 1 | Why does it always feel like I can't just be me?I hear you. I’ve done a lot of work on myself over the last few years. I’ve had to take stock of who I want to be. For a long time it was about how to behave in a way to make my husband respond a certain way. That gets exhausting and in its own way is manipulative and controlling. And in a way disrespectful. Like I have to manage his emotions toward me. But I also want to be a person that inspires not just my husband but my kids and other people around me. How would I feel if my friends knew I w… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/11/23 03:34 AM |
| 60 | Giving boyfriend your card under the table so it looks like he’s the one payingI always say thanks when my husband gets his card out to pay. I’m like “ooh thanks for taking me out!” He’s like “it’s our money?!” Lol. I aways still say it though. | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/10/23 06:37 PM |
| 7 | Married women, can you please respond to some questions? It would be very helpful to me and other women in my situationWere you clear with your man about your expectations (family, marriage) since the beginning? If yes, how did they respond and react? Yes. He felt the same. We were hanging out over the summer and I was going back home when summer was over. I basically was like “so this doesn’t have to be serious at all, but I don’t want to go all in if it isn’t - so what do you want?” He was happy with me being upfront and we both had the same ideas about marriage and family. We were 21& 22 if that matters. Did … | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/10/23 03:27 PM |
| 6 | Husband having an affair/midlife crisis?Look into Laura Doyle’s books (empowered wife & surrendered wife) and her podcast. | /r/RedPillWives | 12/10/23 03:42 PM |
| 28 | Major study: Emotion regulation training in school makes boys worseAs a woman, anytime I focus more on mindfulness I become super aware of how I’m feeling and I tend to feel worse for it. Maybe other people don’t have that issue - but recognizing that it isn’t working for these kids is important and move on to something else. | /r/MensRights | 10/10/23 12:00 PM |
| 7 | I (18f) am confused on how to do my food shop / meal planning whatever... Posted here because I just want some kind woman to guide me. 😊I will go into how I plan and shop and maybe that will help :) I am planning and cooking for a family of 6. My ideal week (is isn’t often lol) is to have a “theme” for each day. For example: Mondays are crock pot/slow cooker meals, breakfast for dinner, etc. I have a rotation of 4 weeks of meals so I don’t have to plan and be creative. Then I shop whatever foods are on sale for the week and I stock up on things that way. To stretch your budget, reuse foods you are making. A lot of meal plans wil… | /r/RedPillWives | 10/10/23 01:33 AM |
| 18 | Husband is (almost) perfect: How to balance his sexual fantasies and my faithI would suggest reading some books on sex by Christian authors. Sheet Music is one that comes to mind. That’s a difficult place to be. I think we serve our spouses even during sex (with sex?) but it’s never beyond the boundaries we are comfortable with. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/09/23 08:37 PM |
| 3 | About to have our 7th child.Praying for a safe and healthy birth and some comfort for you in the meantime! I know those days well (I only have 4). I remember feeling so desperate and every day feels like a week. I’m so sorry you feel so miserable ❤️ | /r/RedPillWives | 05/09/23 01:09 AM |
| 46 | Clothes: my husband doesn’t buy them for himself; what do I do?Cultures are different. I buy my husband’s socks and underwear because I care if he’s got hole and he doesn’t lol. It doesn’t emasculate him. He appreciates that I think about something small for him that makes his life a little easier. I think if you are OK with it, then go for it. All relationships are different and what works for someone else might not work for you two. | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/09/23 02:54 PM |
| 1 | "I told you so"?IMO there are different “debates”/arguments whatever. My husband and I like to talk politics or the news or religion or my job (or his job) or whatever. It can get heated on occasion if there’s a disagreement or if one of us knows something the other doesn’t . It’s just not the same as an argument. With my husband and I we can be playfully like “see I knew it was this” (I still try to avoid I told you so”. | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/08/23 09:51 PM |
| 1 | How much do you contribute in your marriage?For the first part we both contributed financially (about 2 years or so). Then when I had our first child, he carried us 100% (which lasted for 7 years or so, I now work very part time). Financially it’s probably like 85/15. Child care & education (we homeschool) are mostly my area. He did a lot when they were little. A lot during the night because I was dealing with PPD. He also did a good portion of the cleaning (I did what I thought was enough cleaning, but he didn’t feel it was tidy and clea… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/08/23 06:22 PM |
| 1 | I’m overweight need to be skinny to be allowed to travel and get married.Yeah. But if you can swing it, it’s absolutely worth it. They make the price to be about equal to what you would save if you stop eating out for the 10 weeks | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/08/23 09:00 AM |
| 2 | I’m overweight need to be skinny to be allowed to travel and get married.I really love the program Body Slims. It helped me quite a bit and I’m starting the September program soon. | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/08/23 11:49 PM |
| 11 | Am I overreactingI will say that this is exactly what Laura Doyle talks about. Your husband will probably not buy you gifts much longer if this is how you react. Was your husband ever doing these big romantic gestures prior to marriage? If not then don’t expect him to start now. If I want a getaway with my husband I have to ask and plan it with him. He wouldn’t ever plan something big like that because 1 - it isn’t his style and 2 - he would want to make sure it’s something I would actually like. You did a sweet… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/08/23 10:09 AM |
| 3 | Relatively Easy to cook posh dinnerThere are some really nice pasta dishes that might work for a bigger group. I always like something like fajitas for a bigger group but it might not be nice enough for what you have in mind. A couple of roasted chickens or a roast leg of lamb? | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/08/23 11:46 AM |
| 1 | After 5,10,20 years of marriage is the way you converse with your partner very different to what it was in the beginning?17 years in… Somethings have not changed lol. His texts are “k” to almost anything I send him. When we were dating long distance his emails were maybe a sentence or two ling. We could talk for hours on the phone, but anything written is a no for us. My husband is and always has zero tolerance for any TMI sort of conversations. He doesn’t want to hear about it unless it’s an emergency that he needs to know about… this includes periods, stomach illnesses, illness in general (his ocd may play a big… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/08/23 01:32 AM |
| 5 | How does a husband balance between his parents and his wife?Now this may be my American roots and culture kicking in, but no. I wouldn’t be okay with my husband submitting to his family and that coming before us and our family. I also have a bad taste from experiencing this with my dad and grandmother. Of course that relationship was toxic in and of itself. But she came before my mom and us kids and her opinion ruled over all things. I do hope that the family my husband and I have built and the relationships we’ve cultivated with our kids means they do c… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/08/23 12:02 AM |
| 15 | My Husband (43) of 7 Years Won't Remind me of Things I (43) Said I'd doMy dear, your husband isn’t your father that he needs to remind you of things. I’m going to assume sometimes you pick things up that are his “chores”. I often do this with my husband because, well I’d rather have a harmonious relationship then harp on my husband to take care of his shoes or the cup he left on the end table. I think you perhaps are making too much of this. If you are concerned that you aren’t pulling your weight and it’s unfair to put your responsibilities on him, then set remind… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/08/23 09:33 PM |
| 3 | Advice needed - please help!The reason I am asking about the job is because you make it seem like that’s the source of your issues. Personally I wouldn’t be able to manage that and be happy, sweet, content. My husband would have to choose between the two - me working a position like that or me being a happy person. Beyond that it’s a choice. You have to decide to not be grumpy. There’s no magic to it. Focusing on self care can be helpful. But if the option is between divorce (which you mention) or the job - I’d give up the… | /r/RedPillWives | 08/08/23 12:21 PM |
| 1 | Advice needed - please help!Is it possible to look for a new job? | /r/RedPillWives | 08/08/23 10:03 AM |
| 3 | How to turn judgement into empathy, unconditional love, and other things.Since you are new to being a Christian, I would suggest the Bible studies by Susan Heck. I found them incredibly helpful. She has a small booklet about how to put off sin. It might sound like an easy answer, but in James it says to pray for wisdom. Many times when I just don’t know how to resolve something I just stop and pray about it. | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/07/23 12:01 AM |
| 1 | Whats your opinion on virgin men in their early 20s?I was 22. He was 21. | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/07/23 10:43 AM |
| 1 | Whats your opinion on virgin men in their early 20s?My husband was a virgin and we waited until marriage. I thought it was amazing and wonderful that I got to be his first experience. | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/07/23 10:14 AM |
| 4 | Looking to keep fit as a momSo I’ve lost 50 pounds (I have 50 more to go…). There’s no perfect way to lose weight. Even here you might get “low carb” or “workout more”. And in the end it’s about eating less. Period. If what works is lowering your carbs that’s great. If it’s just not eating after a certain time - it boils down to what works for you. What helped me lose the initial 20 pounds was seeing a dietician. The accountability was great. Then Covid and I stopped seeing her. I lost very slowly over the next year+. Then… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/07/23 12:37 AM |
| 1 | Meal Box Services are Improving my RelationshipsI love hello fresh. I have 4 kids so it is really not affordable for us. I have friends who do a rotation. If you were wanting something a little less pricey emeals is really great. Weekly menus and their app links to Kroger and Walmart so you can do your shopping online for pick up or delivery. | /r/RedPillWives | 26/07/23 11:21 PM |
| 14 | Discussion: "Wife Privileges"I got married young (22). We spent the first few months just doing dating things - dinner, bowling, talking until 3 am, going for walks. We couldn’t not be around each other. A lot of making out lol. We waited up we were married to have sex (we pushed the boundaries as much as we could lol, but we didn’t have sex until marriage). I went home for a few months so we talked on the phone all the time, wrote letters… that sort of thing. We were engaged fairly quickly when I moved back near him. And g… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/07/23 01:49 PM |
| 1 | Wish I just didn’t have to work so dang hard in my marriageThank you ❤️ | /r/RedPillWives | 25/07/23 06:32 PM |
| 8 | Wish I just didn’t have to work so dang hard in my marriageAnything I bring up ends in a very big argument. He gets very defensive and then tells me all the things I’m not doing (which then excuses his behavior). At this point I feel very done. We have 4 children the youngest being 6 so it isn’t a option to separate. At a certain point I just am shutting down and not asking for anything beyond what we does now. Which is a lot (in terms of supporting us financially and taking care of the house maintenance and stuff). But there’s rarely any affection and … | /r/RedPillWives | 25/07/23 06:11 PM |
| 2 | Food for though: What will you teach your childrenUnwanted pregnancy with someone you may barely know and now your connected forever. Or in my son’s case she may want an abortion which he may not want that either. Bonding and attachments with his future spouse being an issue. STDs. Unnecessary drama around relationships. Sex makes people stupid about who they’re with. A pastor I listen to would always talk about this with dating. Sex makes guys stupid before and girls after sex (will she put up with bad behavior because she’s had sex with him?)… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/07/23 05:33 PM |
| 11 | Food for though: What will you teach your childrenMy oldest son is 15. We are trying to instill some traditional values since we are Christians. We are encouraging him to wait until he is married to have sex (or at the very least not to sleep around with whomever because there are very real consequences to major decisions like that). In many ways I think what we’ve modeled is going to speak louder than anything we say. But some other conversations we’ve had are just make sure whoever you’re dating that they share your values. Don’t lead someone… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/07/23 02:59 PM |
| 1 | Snickering at Daughter's Words❤️ | /r/RedPillWives | 16/07/23 12:42 PM |
| 6 | Help me stop eating!My language might be a little hyperbolic. In terms of “stopping eating” I mean limiting my portion sizes to something within my calorie range. Like having 2 servings of dessert or a bowl of cereal then still feeling hungry so having another breakfast an hour later. I will think, “oh I will only eat this much because it fits my goals.” The idea goes out the window when I’m feeling hungry and the food tastes good. I’m well aware how to maintain my weight loss as I lost my first 25 pounds or so wit… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/07/23 04:59 PM |
| 3 | Help me stop eating!I have been to lots and lots of doctors, I assure you. My FitBit shows me burning maybe 1800 calories a day on a “good” day (and I know they tend to overestimate calorie burn. I have insulin resistance so yup, to lose weight at 5’2 means my calorie intake is low. I tracked and consistently ate around 1600-1800 calories a day and it took me a year to lose 15 pounds. Right now I am eating completely out of control. Probably around 2000+ calories a day. I’m in a cycle of not sleeping well, having a… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/07/23 04:39 PM |
| 3 | Help me stop eating!I know what I need to do to lose weight. I have already lost 50 pounds. It’s the actually doing it that is the struggle. | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/07/23 01:18 PM |
| 3 | Help me stop eating!I appreciate all of the advice!! :) I was eating maintenance (which for my height and blood sugar issues is somewhat low.. like 1800-2000 calories). The only time I consistently lost weight intentionally is when I was eating 1200-1300 calories a day and walking every day. That’s what I know I need to be doing because it is what works for me. I just have to stop eating. All impulse control is gone for me. The first 35 pounds took 3+ years to lose because I was super wishy-washy. And it eventually… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/07/23 12:39 PM |
| 3 | Help me stop eating!Yeah I’m on lots of supplements. I’ve done high fitness before and had zero weight loss (Orange Theory, weight lifting, cardio). It makes me so hungry. | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/07/23 12:33 PM |
| 3 | Help me stop eating!Right now? Non existent. I was following a program that had me walking an hour a day and then doing stretching/yoga at night. The idea being that too much fitness might make me hungrier (which I have found try in the past for me). I was doing that from January-April or so. Unfortunately being anemic has made exercise (beyond walking) really difficult. | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/07/23 11:48 AM |
| 1 | Household screen rules???I have such a hard time with this myself. My kids don’t have their own devices (except my 15 year old). I’m am working on having limits during the day for myself. I homeschool so I am working on putting my phone on a different room while we are working. It’s so hard! | /r/RedPillWives | 12/07/23 10:20 AM |
| 2 | First Mate - Morale Officer QuestionThat’s a great thing to start working on. It doesn’t need to get worse! | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/07/23 02:50 PM |
| 3 | First Mate - Morale Officer QuestionIs there money to possibly hire someone the manage some of the cleaning? Perhaps find some ways to deal with the stress in a constructive way? Listening to music you live on your way home from work, lighting a candle or having some sort of routine and process for when you get home that might help you get out of your funk. Long term is there something you need to change about your schedule? My default tends to be more negative and the less self care I have the more negative I become unfortunately… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/07/23 01:39 PM |
| 7 | Shift in husband’s behaviorI can clarify what I mean there. If he is obviously unhappy I ask , “you seem upset. Is everything OK?” And if his answer is “I’m fine” I drop it now. I used to pester and hound him because of my insecurities to make sure he wasn’t unhappy with me (if he wasn’t before he was after that). Then I adapted my mood to his if he was upset. How could I have peace while my husband isn’t happy and down? Now I realize, oh yeah I can be OK and not have fix everything for him in his life. He’s a grown man w… | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/07/23 10:36 AM |
| 15 | Shift in husband’s behaviorThe biggest thing I learned (which took me too long) was finding happiness and contentment outside my relationship with my husband. It gives him the freedom to be himself (have a bad day or have stress in his life). It also means my moods are not dependent on his closeness/distance with me. It also allows me to approach my husband without the expectation that he needs to make me happy. Asking my husband to be close to me and not experiencing stress in order to make me happy is controlling him. I… | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/06/23 07:37 PM |
| 14 | Shift in husband’s behaviorI had a very similar experience. I felt like after 8+ years of marriage we still were “in love”. My husband started pulling away and it was a lot of what you mentioned (less playful for example). Unfortunately it ended up turning into full blown anger and it took a lot of work to get through all of it. He pulled away because of stress, mostly. And then the further stress I put on him and the marriage by demanding he be closer to me. There were other issues in our marriage regarding respect and m… | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/06/23 05:08 PM |
| 4 | The "What do YOU want to eat?" cycle and how to break itIf I ever say “I don’t know. What do you want?” My husband just says “well we won’t eat until you decide”. Although over all I make the choices when I cook and everyone in the house just makes what I eat. | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/06/23 01:38 PM |
| 1 | Do you share location w ur bfI’m 39 years old. I survived… what? 25-30 years without the capability of someone knowing my location at all times? | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/06/23 01:57 AM |
| 5 | How to find a Christian partner?Get involved in a church. Even if you can’t make Sunday service you can take part in other activities there. I only make it to church every other week because of my job and I’m pretty connected there. There also may be places that offer a service on Saturday evening. | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/06/23 11:28 PM |
| 6 | What to do when partner stops pursuing youThe question I ask is “would this bring me closer to my husband or further away?” For example I would get very pouty (and I still have for complete transparency) if he played video games too long. I would get very annoyed if it was with his friends because then he wasn’t engaged with me at all. I would get angry and express that very clearly to him. Early on in our relationship he would have apologized and tried to “do better” next time. As time wore on he got angry because he felt controlled an… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/06/23 11:21 PM |
| 3 | Bohemian, artistic, spiritually alternative BUT STILL TRADITIONAL cities?Yellow Springs Ohio sounds like it might fit that. Very small “hippie” town, but close enough to some larger places (Dayton & Cincinnati). Fairly liberal but surrounded by conservatives. I don’t know the cost of living, but I believe Ohio in general just isn’t crazy expensive. It’s certainly not as beautiful as CA though. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/06/23 07:21 PM |
| 7 | What to do when partner stops pursuing youOne thing I started doing… stand at your front door to get an idea of what it looks like to come home. It gives a good perspective of what things need to be straightened up first. So even if nothing else gets done at least coming home, your husband isn’t hit with a big visual chaotic mess. The book How to Manage Your Home Without Losing Your Mind is a very good one. She doesn’t say she has ADHD, but the author definitely sounds like lol. I always goes back to FlyLady also. My husband saw my lack… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/06/23 08:58 AM |
| 13 | What to do when partner stops pursuing youIn reading some of your replies I can say I was in a similar position in my marriage. Even including the sexless part. My husband seemed content, but I noticed he started pulling away a little bit. I chalked it up to stress at work and didn’t pay much attention. We moved and he had, essentially, a mental breakdown. His OCD flared big time but also the weight of his unhappiness in our marriage was hitting a breaking point. He was very angry and it usually came out as me being a bad homemaker (bei… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/06/23 02:06 AM |
| 11 | Do you share location w ur bfI’ve done that exactly one time when my husband shared is location with me when he was going to work over the weekend out of state. He was bored and thought it would be fun. I think it’s weird. Pauses in life are important. Being apart from people and them having their own existence away from us is beneficial. | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/06/23 03:40 PM |
| 24 | Device used to restrain little boys for circumcision. If this were used on little girls, the world would be on fire.This is precisely why my husband and I didn’t circumcise our boys. That and we’d have to pay for it while the hospitals profits from “selling” the foreskins. | /r/MensRights | 19/06/23 10:47 AM |
| 5 | Working on SelfStop focusing on his need to grow because he may never grow beyond where he is. Would you be okay with that? If not then you aren’t accepting where he is now. I get what you’re saying, but your initial post (and even this reply) doesn’t reflect what you’re trying to reflect. | /r/RedPillWives | 15/06/23 01:36 PM |
| 7 | Working on SelfYou are aware of his limitations. He was up front and expressing his desire which was very sweet. Your reply could have been, “yes I am happy we get to see each other so often and I am looking forward to that hug” versus coming here and saying “sigh”. My husband has OCD it’s challenging. So I do get it. And I have ADHD so it’s a fun combo. I get that figuring out the differences are tough. But it sounds like he was being incredibly kind and perhaps since you know he has autism, you will need to … | /r/RedPillWives | 15/06/23 09:59 AM |
| 8 | Submitting to sexAre you on hormonal BC or other medications? Do you have a libido at all or is it just that you can’t climax? Do you have a history of trauma or abuse? I agree that checking with a doctor is really worthwhile. Also maybe look into some exercises you guys can do together. Take the pressure of getting to a finishing point and just figure things out together. Intended for pleasure is a good book with ideas. Come As You Are is also a very good option. Your husband isn’t trying to put you on the spot… | /r/RedPillWives | 12/06/23 12:05 PM |
| 6 | How do you know when you are in love with someone?I knew I was fully in love with my husband (and knew I wanted to marry) was we were long distance over Christmas and I realized I never wanted to miss a Christmas with him again. The feeling of romantic love, however, is fleeting. The important things we valued overlapped. While we were both head over heels for each other we also knew what we wanted and made sure we aligned on those things. Being married for 17 years and having rough patches means that yes I’ve looked at other people and thought… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/06/23 04:22 PM |
| 1 | Comparing emotion labor to physical labor (especially the dirty and dangerous kind) is used by people who don’t want to work. And it can be abuse in a relationship.I 100% will schedule all the doctors appointments, plan birthday parties and vacations, and all the other kid stuff to not have my husband’s job. And I would never compare the two. He’s managing now which isn’t as laborious, but yeah I wouldn’t take his 18hour days on a 200 ft high conveyor belt ever. And I would never have the audacity to claim my day was harder than that (not that I think comparison is ever healthy anyway). I really dislike the whole idea of emotional labor from the first time… | /r/MensRights | 09/06/23 11:46 AM |
| 1 | How to lose weight and keep it off?I have lost 50 pounds. It took me a while. I worked with a dietician which got the ball rolling in the right direction. Lately I’ve been using a program called BodySlims which helped me immensely. Everything I’ve done has boiled down to eating less calories then I burn regardless of who has been helping me or which program I’m using. BodySlims is about the mindsets around weight loss but even that is just eat fewer calories. Also the We Only Look Thin podcast is a great one to listen to! | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/06/23 10:06 AM |
| 1 | Men in Media. Is it illegal to have masculine qualities?My husband won’t watch any movies he’s already watched lol. He’s picky | /r/MensRights | 05/06/23 01:21 AM |
| 2 | Men in Media. Is it illegal to have masculine qualities?My husband and I very rarely watch anything new for this exact reason. We used to have a movie night quite often and it’s become so much harder to find anything worth watching. Its “men are bad, women need to save themselves” in almost everything. We were fed up with the last season of stranger things for this reason. My husband refused to even watch until the end. | /r/MensRights | 04/06/23 10:47 PM |
| 12 | How do y'all feel about podcasts like "Whatever" and "Fresh and Fit"?I hate Fresh and Fit. Absolutely detest it. My husband listens and while he says he doesn’t agree I can see the attitudes rubbing off on him. Its for men who want to screw around and get as many women as possible. Fine if that’s someone’s idea of high value, but no thanks. Little boys trying to be men is all it is to me. | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/06/23 10:15 PM |
| 2 | How to express disappointment properly (without nagging etc)?It’s going to really depend on what the issue is. Sometimes it is a matter of letting it go. Perhaps it’s an issue on his side of the street that he needs to work on. If it’s something painful in the moment, an “ouch” can usually do the trick. Approaching it respectfully and asking for his help with a solution may be the answer. Sometimes it does need to be brought up very directly and to the point. Waiting until a good time (not while one of you is rushing out the door or really hungry or tired… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/05/23 11:08 PM |
| 9 | Alone in the house - what’s acceptable to ask forThe other reply is harsh, but there’s some truth to it. Particularly if this will be a regular thing, you’ll have to figure this out. Do you have friends nearby? Maybe just a text so they know your alone can help ease your mind. Having white noise if my husband is away is a must. Or even just the TV on in the background so I can sleep. It may just be something you’ll grow into and look back in day and laugh at how much you’ve changed. :) | /r/RedPillWives | 18/05/23 01:44 AM |
| 13 | Random question : I am expecting a son in 7 weeks should he be circumcised or uncircumcised ?My husband and I chose not to. Couldn’t find a compelling enough reason to do so. | /r/MensRights | 16/05/23 06:56 PM |
| 4 | Seeking book recommendations - something similar to The Empowered Wife by Laura Doyle but with a more spiritual perspective.Have you read Fascinating Womanhood? Not sure if that fits what your looking for. Oh - if you’re OK with a Christian leaning book, Captivating is so good. | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/05/23 09:26 PM |
| 1 | Do RPW initiate intimacy? Or leave it to their partnerWe’ve got 4 kids and realize there’s more to life then sex. We get along great otherwise. No I’m not happy to have sex twice a month but I also try to keep in mind what I do have. | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/05/23 01:00 PM |
| 9 | Do RPW initiate intimacy? Or leave it to their partnerJust want to add to at you aren’t alone. This has been an issue in my marriage as well. It’s been a rough road because being rejected many times has been rough on my emotions. The best it has been in the recent past has been when I totally didn’t think about it at all. I have been putting most of my effort/energy into weight loss and basically “ignored” my husband. It been a struggle lately because it’s been at least 2 weeks so I’m trying very hard for it to not be an argument. I’ve already trie… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/05/23 11:09 AM |
| 3 | How not to mother my husband?What do you consider mothering? That’s the first thing I suppose. Being overly nurturing can be smothering so perhaps that’s a start? | /r/RedPillWives | 26/04/23 03:14 PM |
| 17 | A family member of mine believes men can't be rapedMy husband refused to believe this for years. Denial, I guess? He finally “gave in” when talking about being drugged or being too drunk to consent. There are various askreddit posts or even here of men sharing their experiences with SA and rape. I’ve read him some and that changed his mind. I think some of the nuanced things he believed before he finally just admitted he was totally wrong. Nuanced meaning a woman not using birth control but lying and saying she is for example. | /r/MensRights | 26/04/23 11:53 AM |
| 8 | What advice would you give herMy husband very rarely has ever had to go away for work, but anytime he did I went for a massage first. I would see what compromise could still be made. Like how long is he going and could he shorten it slightly if needed. Neither one perhaps expected what it would be like to parent an 11 week alone for an extended amount of time particularly if she’s a first time mom. The agreement was probably made without taking that into consideration. If it isn’t an option for him to change things, I would … | /r/RedPillWives | 25/04/23 03:05 AM |
| 1 | Weight LossThis is an old post ☺️. I’ve joined an online program and I’m down 15 pounds so far with it. | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/04/23 12:31 PM |
| 20 | Appreciation post! What’s something sweet your guy does? ❤️Oh this is hard! I have an amazing husband. As much as we’ve had some issues the last few years (mostly from stress and burn out really), my husband really is such a good man. He always encourages me to go spend time with friends to get out of the house and away from kids/responsibilities. He’s happy to manage the kids and whatever is here so I can get some much needed R&R. This includes a once a year weekend girls’ trip. When my mom was first diagnosed with breast cancer and started treatment t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/04/23 11:29 AM |
| 5 | Seeking advice: Is using a location tracking app on my boyfriend crossing a line?My dear, you came here for validation for some very disturbing behavior. Particularly from a group that would never condone it. | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/04/23 10:09 AM |
| 8 | Our marriage (F33 and M35) is fine but we lost our spark (because of me...?)I’ve got 4 kids :). First off - I never felt “normal” until about a year after my babies were born. Secondly, you aren’t a lost case. You’ve been through massive changes. It takes a lot of get used to and it’s hard to figure things out. I personally had a very hard time shifting from “mom mode” to “wife mode” just because the kids were asleep or we were out on a date. I would suggest making self care the top of our priority list. You need to fill your cup before you can help anyone else. I reall… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/04/23 05:12 PM |
| 2 | How to feel less cringe about my femininity? (21F)I imagine it has a lot to do with your age and that’s it’s fairly new to you. As you grow in your femininity and embrace it more and more you’ll become more comfortable in it. | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/04/23 04:38 PM |
| 1 | Big sister/ motherly adviceI think marriage at a young age is a good thing. But both people need to be willing to grow and allow their spouse to grow. I married at 22 and wouldn’t change it for the world. I also would encourage my children to do similarly. Spiritual growth is good. Finding mentors in real life would be ideal. Developing habits and routines that will serve you well in a great thing (exercise, keeping things tidy, etc). I would advocate not dating if marriage isn’t the goal and isn’t on the table yet. Get y… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/04/23 02:25 PM |
| 2 | What are your hobbies?I just started on embroidery which I enjoy. I like walking as well. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/03/23 08:28 PM |
| 6 | I am a masculine woman I don't know where to start I need helpMy mom was (and is) not super feminine. Never learned makeup or hair or skin care. Never really learned how to care properly for my body. It feels weird at first because it isn’t something you’re used to. Hence why you just don’t feel comfortable when you do change things (like looking or feeling not put together). I tend to be a more messy person and found that certain clothes or styles just aren’t going to work with me and I’ve learned to accept what I can and can’t do. Like I will never ever … | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/03/23 09:56 AM |
| 1 | Why does society treat women like perfect angels who do no wrong?most big churches twist scripture so it looks like they are reading the Bible but misinterpreting it. Every sermon I have ever heard about marriage roles are a big “check” for men how they need to step up and then a stroking for women’s egos about how their husbands are like children and how amazing they are just the way they are. I’ve heard a few traditional pastors online talk about the more biblically traditional roles. But it’s definitely not mainstream Christianity at this point. | /r/MensRights | 17/03/23 02:00 PM |
| 50 | Why does society treat women like perfect angels who do no wrong?There’s this weird line where women are supposed to be just like men, but also treated like women. Women wanting to be protected and whatnot while also wanting to behave the exact same way they think men behave. Women don’t want to give up the benefits of being a woman and be treated “equally” so it ends up with this double standard. And it’s so infuriating that so many women refuse to see it (or see it and justify it) As a Christian it happens in churches all the time. Even churches that claim … | /r/MensRights | 16/03/23 06:51 PM |
| 13 | Being a woman vs being a girlI am 38. I would have called myself a woman at a younger age because I was married and had children. However once I began to see my own selfishness and that I was really trying to just make myself feel a certain way, that’s when I think the switch happened. For example this weekend is very busy for my husband while I am at work. In the past I would have thought about all the things I needed and wanted in the midst of that. My mindset has changed in that I’m trying to do whatever I can to make hi… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/03/23 07:31 PM |
| 1 | women don't congratulate men on men's international day, so why should i on women's international day?Ya’ll I don’t need a day - the entire idea is ludicrous. Let’s celebrate women for no other reason except they are women. No one has offered me chocolate and I’m not sure I’d say no… but yeah the whole thing is stupid. | /r/MensRights | 08/03/23 10:25 PM |
| 6 | How do you show your standards in a feminine way?What you are asking is contradictory. You can’t have it both ways. | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/03/23 12:41 AM |
| 3 | How does your man support you emotionally?My husband likes to be left alone when he is sick. Guess what he does when I am sick? Leaves me alone. When I ask for attention we will do it but he is very reserved and “short”. And he tells me I need sleep (I don’t sleep well when I am sick whereas that’s all he does). My husband likes to deal with stuff himself and not put it on me. So typically when I need something he tends to give me that space. I will tell him what I need (a hug, a listening ear, whatever it is). I guess it’s something to… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/03/23 12:35 PM |
| 8 | Traditional gender roles - How?I manage most of the household - which includes kids and chores. He does 80% of the providing (I work very part time). He does the maintenance and “heavy lifting”, and disciplining the boys now that they are teens. My husband is by far the better cook, but because of his schedule I do most of the meal planning and cooking. It works best for us that we have our separate strengths and don’t try to take over the other’s “domain” and we also work on being appreciative/grateful of the other’s work. | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/03/23 12:31 PM |
| 8 | How do I make home life enjoyable?My husband and I went through a very rough period with him dealing with depression and OCD. He got very angry as well. I started off trying to help him and make everything better (that codependency thing). Then I got angry and our relationship took a huge hit. I would say things got better for me when I delved into hobbies and friendships and just taking care of my mental health. I let my husband deal with his stuff and just be a support when I could. Our relationship has gotten stronger and he’… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/03/23 12:15 PM |
| 8 | My bf (32M) questions me (25F) on everything and its driving me crazyMy very first thought is that he is genuinely trying to be helpful. My husband tends to jump in to solve my problems for me. If he’s not being malicious or condescending then I would consider reframing why he is giving you input. I have found if there’s something I don’t want “help” on, I really don’t bring it up to my husband. I can’t say how he is being since I don’t know him personally and don’t know his intentions. If you say something like, “I am just venting about this, I need a listening … | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/02/23 02:53 PM |
| 3 | i get so obsessive over a guy.. anyone else?!May I ask how old you are? This was most definitely me as a teenager and young adult. | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/02/23 04:00 AM |
| 2 | Being respected vs being likedThis was incredibly in depth and so helpful! Thank you | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/02/23 08:55 PM |
| 1 | Valentines gift ideasMy husband has enjoyed a card with something handwritten from me. He’s not big into gifts so I always try to do that. You could order something he enjoys from someplace close to him like from a bakery or something and have it delivered. | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/02/23 01:44 PM |
| 12 | How traditional is too traditional?I thought similarly since Reddit is the epitome of moral depravity. | /r/RedPillWives | 10/02/23 12:15 PM |
| 4 | How traditional is too traditional?I don’t ask my husband permission to leave the house. There is sort of a blanket permission if you will. If he were to say “don’t go out today”, then I would listen. It’s sort of the reverse of what you are saying, but I would absolutely obey him putting a restriction on something like that. He does ask me to dress modestly, but I imagine that it would far less modest then what you are expected to wear. Thankfully we have resources for men who are abusers of women and children. I don’t think it’… | /r/RedPillWives | 10/02/23 12:13 PM |
| 2 | losing weight without spiralingI got up to 225 and worked with a dietician with whom I lost 30 pounds or so. Whencovid shut everything down I lost a lot of motivation. And I just maintained for the last 3 years. Well. Excuse me, I did lose a little more over that time, like 10-15 pounds or so. I’ve been working on losing weight again and taking a totally different approach. I’ve started treating my overeating like an addiction. There’s a book called The Naked Mind which is about alcohol but if I replace all the mentions of dr… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/02/23 10:33 AM |
| 5 | Book recommendationsIf you are Christian (or at least okay with christian content), Bindi Marc on YouTube is fantastic. She has a lot of links to other content creators that are African American. Fascinating Womanhood is the only thing I can think of off the top of my head. | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/02/23 07:30 AM |
| 51 | My partner has told me to look at this page - He wants me to promise him that I will always look skinny for him and stay in shape. Am I in the wrong for saying that I shouldn’t have to promise that to him?Should you strive to be the healthiest version of yourself for you and for family? Yes. Does that mean you will stay the same weight/shape? No. Even if you do stay exactly the same weight, what happens when you have a child and your hips get wider and you have stretch marks? Will he still want you? There are things within our control - what we eat, how much we exercise, etc. We can’t control everything however. Is that something he can live with? | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/02/23 02:42 PM |
| 7 | What do you do to maintain a fun and light spirit when going through a stressful period?practice gratitude lean into self care create routines and rituals to reconnect (like a morning walk or dinner together or weekly coffee date someplace special or even a show you watch together, praying or meditating together before bed) music almost always lifts my mood as for “toxic positivity”… no not all things will be happy and with a smile plastered on your face. My mom is facing cancer and no it’s not easy to just be this happy-go-lucky person. However there is a benefit to seeing the ups… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/02/23 03:01 PM |
| 10 | Question about serving food to your partnerEvery relationship is different. I cook most meals, but my husband does like to cook so when he’s got a few days off from work he tends to get into making some nicer dishes. There’s always balance and figuring out what works. My husband works way more hours than I do and at a physically demanding job. So I see me making the meals as the thing I handle. I’ve learned to take pride in the things that I manage and try not to let my husband even do them - like it’s my job and he gets to rest during t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/02/23 02:33 PM |
| 50 | Still struggling to submit after a month of workMy husband’s grandfather was abusing his sister. That man never, ever came anywhere near our family. My husband won’t even speak his name. My grandfather abused my mom - I never met him once. Your children cannot protect themselves. I would refuse to willingly expose my children to someone who obviously has a propensity for hurting them. This is an area where - sorry - I couldn’t submit. | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/02/23 10:58 PM |
| 3 | How much time do you spend with your SO?Alone time together? Maybe an hour a day after the kids are asleep. Then a date every other week or once a month. Can I ask why you guys aren’t just married yet then? Is the wedding planning underway? | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/02/23 12:09 PM |
| 3 | Being respected vs being likedWe’ve been married for 16 years. Got married fairly young. I was incredibly attracted to him. He seemed to be going somewhere and have his crap together. We had similar overall goals (get married, have kids, me stay at home with them, me be a SAHM, etc). I was head over heels in love with him and have been through our whole marriage - even the hard parts. | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/01/23 11:14 AM |
| 3 | Being respected vs being likedThis has been a conversation for years. It feels like the goalposts is constantly moving away from me. If I’m respectful in every way he has asked me to, he will point out something I didn’t do in the past or make up something new. When I ask now how I’ve been disrespectful, he typically says that I already know how and I’m playing games by even asking. It’s to a point where to be honest - I don’t think he even likes me very much. He’s even said in the past that he was too young to make that dec… | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/01/23 09:39 AM |
| 5 | Being respected vs being likedI have been very apologetic about ways I’ve been disrespectful. It isn’t that I excuse my disrespect by saying it wasn’t intentional. I’ve been very clear with him that I 100% understand that I was wrong. I know just what I’ve done and I’m working on it for sure. It seems like his idea of respect goes way beyond what I would even imagine - like the things Laura Doyle talks about. She mentions not being controlling, not stepping onto his page. But respect to my husband almost seems like I must be… | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/01/23 09:24 AM |
| 5 | Being respected vs being likedI was very immature at the start of our marriage. Doing things that most anyone would have advised him to divorce me - overspending our agreed upon budget, not keeping up my side of things at home while he was working, being very clingy and demanding of his time, and very pushy about having more children. That was something like the first 5 years or so. I realized how detrimental that was and started changing my ways. However I can say I still wasn’t incredibly respectful as I hadn’t had an exam… | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/01/23 12:06 AM |
| 5 | I don’t feel like my husband is more manly than meI really appreciate your take. As a woman who didn’t have the two parent household to model this it’s something I struggle with in teaching my children (particularly my daughters). I want them to be functional and able to rely on themselves, but also be able to be soft and feminine particularly in marriage. | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/01/23 03:19 PM |
| 3 | I don’t feel like my husband is more manly than meI’m going to take a different approach then a lot of the replies. If you sit him down and talk to him - that is still you leading the relationship. You can back off a little bit and “let” him do things. I suggest reading the empowered wife for starters. Oh and also fascinating womanhood Also check out Jordan Peterson’s discussions on personality. He talks about there are more feminine leaning traits and masculine leaning traits. My husband, for example, has more feminine traits when it comes to … | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/01/23 12:35 PM |
| 4 | Husband is leaving(?)If you haven’t yet, read the empowered wife and listen to Laura Doyle’s podcast - she’s got a lot of ladies who came back from a separation. I’m so sorry this is happening - it sounds so hard. | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/01/23 05:40 PM |
| 1 | Do people in traditional marriages feel more content, but bored, compared to feministic marriages where there's more drama?I was thinking the same thing. I homeschool 4 kids, work a (very) part time job, help my mom out, manage a house, try to take care of my husband. I don’t have time for drama in my relationship. That’s where I get to relax and enjoy myself! | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/01/23 03:35 PM |
| 1 | How to stay interesting as a housewife?Being a mom doesn’t mean you can’t have any other interests. It can certainly be nice to have other things to talk about with your husband as well as pursing hobbies for your own enjoyment. I listen to podcasts of varying topics that give me something to discuss. Many times I bring it up as “so and so made this point, what are your thoughts?” And it tends to open up a whole conversation. I also enjoy reading somewhat for this purpose, but I also was part of a book club at one time that really he… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/01/23 11:33 PM |
| 4 | How to keep things amicable around other women who you don't mesh withBut asking a friend of hers is sure to set off drama which is unnecessary. She could try to be friendly to the girl who seems mean and see where that goes. But asking a friend is like high school level taking behind someone’s back and I would argue 9 times out of 10 is going to backfire. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/01/23 03:04 PM |
| 13 | How can I encourage my boyfriend to express more masculinity and stop mothering him?You don’t do anything. Even trying to make him more masculine is you trying to mother him. What you can do is step back. When he asks permission or for reassurance you just say, “I don’t know - whatever you think, I trust your judgement”. And then trust his judgement. Don’t step in and tell him why he is wrong. He’s going to mess up and he will absolutely be harder on himself then you could be. And don’t nag if he hasn’t made a decision. Of course show appreciation when he does make a decision a… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/01/23 02:30 PM |
| 14 | How to keep things amicable around other women who you don't mesh withThat’s a great way to start drama. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/01/23 01:15 PM |
| 1 | How do I become better?I’m personally a big fan of Jordan Peterson. 12 Rules for Life would be a great place to start. But I also like his self-authoring program as well as his personality test (not to mention all the lectures on YouTube). I am religious so I think getting into a good church is a great thing. Things like a daily devotional have helped me tremendously. | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/01/23 08:54 PM |
| 7 | May lose my boyfriend because of my emotional instabilityI have been like this in the past. It was causing a lot of distress in my marriage. It took a lot of self reflection and working things out to deal with it. I’ve had to learn how to take a step back and figure out what’s true vs what am I reacting to. It has take a while and thankfully my husband was willing to be patient with me. Sometimes during disagreements when I feel my emotions rising to that point I now say I need to stop and walk away to calm down. A lot of it tends to come back to self… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/01/23 12:38 AM |
| 4 | Big trip not allowed now that we’re married?Did he ever intend to go/support you in going? Does he have something else going on - like anxiety about the idea of it or the finances or something? Just trying to wrap my head around the rationale. | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/01/23 12:43 PM |
| 16 | Big trip not allowed now that we’re married?Oh I so feel for you. I’m so torn for you as well. My gut says - just go. It was something he knew about and agreed to before marriage. But the other part of me is like - but submission to your husband. I think if it were me, I would save the money myself (or since you said you have savings already) and I would go. I would say that I’m sorry, but this has been my dream and you supported it (and it certainly hasn’t been a secret). Then it’s his choice what to do after that - and be okay with what… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/01/23 12:31 PM |
| 2 | 'Tradwife' movement. A mom-of-two lives her life as though it's the 1950s. It’s too late for me. Not interested in unwinding the clock.That irritates me to no end. My husband and I have 4 kids. We both wanted me to stay home and now that they’re older I work a little bit. I don’t expect my husband to do anything at home. He does - because he wants to. But I don’t ask him to because he works too damn hard at work to come home and work there also. | /r/MensRights | 20/01/23 08:57 PM |
| 8 | Are you worried that if you implement the stfu advice, it will progress like this?Nope. I’ve learned to be more content and deal with my emotions versus spewing them everywhere. Do I never say anything? No. But I’ve been learning what things even need to be said because most of the time my husband already knows what thing he did that was inconsiderate or unkind. I also don’t STFU for just anyone 😉 | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/01/23 02:42 AM |
| 3 | What to do, if he tells me I am a terrible wife(story below)?I also found I was just disrespectful overall and his way of responding/reacting was just being nitpicky about lot of things | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/01/23 11:20 PM |
| 13 | What to do, if he tells me I am a terrible wife(story below)?My husband and I have had similar issues. I am a terrible homemaker (I’m very messy) and he was angry about it. But even when I started changing he was still angry and find things to be upset over. As I started really looking at myself I realized it came down to my lack of respect then anything else. When I’m respectful and kind and all of those things - my husband seems to overlook the shortcomings in the house and/or picks up the slack himself. | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/01/23 02:10 PM |
| 5 | How to be more flexible and fun when having sex?My husband was inexperienced and had a lot of shame around sex. I had one boyfriend prior but it was not great A lot of it was just loosening up and having fun with each other- exploring what feels good, being able to say what you aren’t crazy about (in a very kind way of course). It is something that grows. Where we are now after 16 years of marriage is very different from when we were first married. Also women are all different in what feels good. Don’t worry about having to guide him to what … | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/01/23 07:30 PM |
| 117 | Boyfriend makes me cringeYou are young and it’s a very short lived thing - call it quits no need to drag it out. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/01/23 06:47 PM |
| 46 | Fiancé is jealous. What should I do to keep him calm?He needs to learn how to keep himself calm. If you were doing things that was causing suspicion that would be different, but this is venturing into really controlling. | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/01/23 06:30 PM |
| 7 | AITA: for breaking down after my BD/BF told me I looked better in my past relationships?My very first impression is a lack of accountability and personal responsibility. There are things that you cannot control. Being cheated on, being assaulted, among other things and those are not what I am talking about. A baby is not an accident. It’s very clear what creates a baby and you had to have been having sex (protected or not) to become pregnant. You chose to engage in sexual relations with a man you have an on again/off again relationship with. Also flying into a rage is a choice that… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/01/23 12:49 AM |
| 6 | Christian, exhausted trad wifeI love this. I’ve got 4 and we were one income for a long time. I disagree that you can’t make it work on one income. Oregon is (as I understand) a very expensive state compared to say Ohio (where I am). I think self care is a big thing for sure. If you have any older girls at your co-op that could be a mother’s helper maybe they can come once a week to help out. Especially if they are earning a badge for Girl Scouts or something similar. Or maybe trade help with another mom. Hang in there - it … | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/01/23 04:23 PM |
| 2 | Separated bedsWe’ve had periods of sleeping separately for the sake of sleep. Whether it’s babies or snoring or even just one of us being sick. I think sleep is important and without that there isn’t intimacy. | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/01/23 01:17 PM |
| 5 | Why doesn't sex ed teach young women about their fertility?There’s an underlying dislike of children and families. Read most of Reddit and it’s glaring there, but even in churches you’ll find it. I volunteer at my church nursery and even my pastor and his wife just tolerate having a toddler and constantly apologize for her behaving like a toddler. It makes me sad. I believe that’s one major part of things. When I’m at our homeschool co op, big families (small families too) and babies are all celebrated and it’s such a big difference. For any Christians … | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/01/23 09:01 AM |
| 2 | Advice for a woman who is ready for marriage but has Mummy issues.Everyone is screwed up to some level. There’s no perfect relationships on any level. Some are much more awful than others (as you have experienced). I spent years trying to figure out how my “daddy issues” related to my life. I realized my dad was human and broken and I need to move on. I have 4 children. I will most certainly not get everything right. Having children honestly brought the most “healing” for me. I was able to see the difficulties of child rearing from my parents’ perspectives and… | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/01/23 08:50 PM |
| 6 | Is there anything you wish you did in your relationship before falling pregnant?We always have room to grow :). Babies help us grow even more. It’s a big change and I understand being nervous. I guess that’s where my age helped me lol. I was naive enough to not be that nervous. I’m so incredibly grateful for my kids though and it amazes me that I’ve had this opportunity. I love babies and children so perhaps I am biased and of course people need to make decisions they feel are right for them. | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/01/23 12:40 PM |
| 24 | Is there anything you wish you did in your relationship before falling pregnant?I also started having children young at 23 - we now have 4. I probably could/should have put in some more work on myself. I was quite immature in my thinking. I was unhappy and wanted circumstances outside of myself to make me happy (particularly my husband and child). That eventually put a strain on our marriage later on (and other immature thinking). Neither one of us regrets having children when we did however. The reality is no relationship is perfect (although many on Reddit would make it s… | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/01/23 12:21 PM |
| 6 | Is there anything you wish you did in your relationship before falling pregnant?You can travel with children. | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/01/23 12:14 PM |
| 8 | Book RecsIf you like fiction - I have read The little house on the prairie to my 9 year old and I absolutely loved it myself. We are currently listening to the secret garden. I got the audible plus subscription where there are a lot of the classics included. | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/01/23 08:13 PM |
| 2 | Seeking advice or words of encouragementYou aren’t weird! I’m a married mom of 4. I never was interested in those places even single (I got married at 22). My husband also wouldn’t care for the crowd even if I were interested. I have a few friends in our homeschool group and we try to go to a trivia night once a month or something, but that’s about the extent of that lol. | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/01/23 12:31 PM |
| 13 | USA: Desperate father pleads with his pediatrician ex-wife NOT to chemically castrate their son, 9, after she suddenly moved to California from TexasColonialism created a binary? What planet are you on? Gender differences have existed from the beginning of time. The roles and acceptance of them may have looked different. Puberty blockers en masse is a new phenomenon. It’s ridiculous to say this is some deeply rooted phobia when it didn’t exist 15 years ago. | /r/MensRights | 06/01/23 07:38 PM |
| 4 | How to know when to move on?I’m not sure I’m clear. A dealbreaker means you move on. It means it can’t be overcome. If you’re overcoming it that’s just a negotiation which is entirely normal in a relationship. Figure out your dealbreakers. I was 22 when I got married and I 100% knew my dealbreakers. Cheating is a deal breaker for me (even in marriage). Physical abuse - a deal breaker. For me, my husband needed to be the same faith, want me to stay at home with our children, etc. No one comes to a marriage/relationship perf… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/01/23 02:38 PM |
| 3 | How to know when to move on?Okay, there’s not much to go on, but here goes :) 1 - you don’t submit to a man without a commitment which requires vetting. Vetting requires you know your values and what you are looking for. What are your deal breakers? Dating is the time to figure out if he is worth submitting to. 2 - Does respect and submission come naturally? It depends. For most “modern” women it does not come naturally. We are taught not to. It also comes with vetting and a commitment. I 100% trust my husband. It makes it… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/01/23 01:32 PM |
| 1 | I am a man and wondering if there is a similar /r/ for men?A simple “thanks” suffices. And you certainly are arguing now lol. Perhaps my semantics weren’t 100% accurate. This seems to have really triggered you. With whatever you want to do with that. | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/01/23 07:56 PM |
| 21 | Becoming a stepmother the RPW way.Edit: a few things I thought of later: make sure to correct yourself if you speak over him. And be quick to apologize. Model that behavior and show him the respect you are asking for. If you read Laura Doyle and apply some of those ideas - they go a long way. When things are calm, saying things like, “I really appreciated your input on xyz. Essentially the things you focus on become greater. So express gratitude toward him. Also, make sure he does have things in which he has control. If he’s a f… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/01/23 07:23 PM |
| 1 | I am a man and wondering if there is a similar /r/ for men?You disagreed with every single suggestion, not just mine. It didn’t seem like you were coming here for an answer. It sounds like Reddit may not be the platform you are looking for. Perhaps a one on one mentorship or if you a churchgoing getting involved there or like I mentioned somewhere else - starting a YouTube channel or something. Many people took time to give thoughtful replies to hear “nope I don’t like that one”. So it seems at the end of the day that you weren’t really here for suggest… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/01/23 06:34 PM |
| 4 | How is it that this subreddit has 35% more memebers than r/feminism subreddit?I think many, many women no longer would call themselves “feminists”. They don’t see a need to. Which there isn’t because feminism has become so ingrained in culture and in our collective thinking. I’m a woman who didn’t even realize until the last few years just how deeply feminism ran in my psyche. It’s been a purging process. | /r/MensRights | 02/01/23 02:39 PM |
| 3 | Women that went from blue- to red-pilled, how did it happen?Am I “red pilled”? Sort of. I’m here for the emphasis on the traditional marriage and gender roles. Another comment referred to her husband getting into red pill content and that’s similar to what happened to me as well. Really I’d say I’ve just become far less feminist in my thinking - even though I would have said I wasn’t one prior to finding spaces like this. I’ve been confronted by many things in my marriage that have made me see how deeply rooted certain feminist ideals were (for example t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/01/23 05:35 AM |
| 19 | How to submit to husband's decision even when I think it might be unsafe?As a Christian - I believe that submission doesn’t cover something dangerous, illegal, or sinful. I personally would make this a huge boundary. It’s a parent’s job to protect our children particularly from a known danger. It would be something I would fight very hard against. If he absolutely doesn’t budge / I’d bring it to someone you trust (a parent, mentor, clergy) that could give you advice and perhaps mediate a solution. I also would not let my children be out of my sight if he were to brin… | /r/RedPillWives | 01/01/23 05:12 AM |
| 1 | I am a man and wondering if there is a similar /r/ for men?So basically come here and argue with every suggestion given. Got it. | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/12/22 01:45 AM |
| 1 | I am a man and wondering if there is a similar /r/ for men?Would perhaps one of the Jordan Peterson subs be a good fit? You’ll reach some young men who are typically trying to better themselves. | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/12/22 02:57 PM |
| 5 | Joint bank account?We decided from the start that we have joint accounts. His income is our money; my income is our money. We did Dave Ramsey’s program initially to get us off on the right foot. We make big financial decisions together. We have budgets set up for the various expenses in the house. And the we each get “blow money”. Typically because I trust my husband with all these things - I ask him to make the decisions about money. He’s very thoughtful and patient and makes decisions slowly. | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/12/22 06:25 PM |
| 6 | Advice to get through a rough patchHi! I am in the tail end of this. What has helped the most is reading and implementing the skills that Laura Doyle talks about in The Empowered Wife. I also listen to her podcast which is a huge help. | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/12/22 06:21 PM |
| 3 | Thoughts on your partner going on a boys trip? Boundaries etc.When I first got married I was like this. I was clingy and my husband gave up a lot of things because my family wasn’t close by. I would get mad if he went over the time he said he would be home. My advice is - don’t put boundaries around his trip. Tell him to have fun and see him off. Have plans for the days he is gone. Don’t make him your emotional crush. It will suck the life out of him. I did that to my husband and 100% regret it now. And if he doesn’t want to go - he is a 32 year old man wh… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/12/22 11:17 AM |
| 2 | “Two” husbandsI appreciate your input. There’s been a lot of history over the last 5 years of our 16 year marriage that has also lead to issues with emotional distance and sex. I’ve cleaned up my act and I noticed he had become much more approachable and our marriage got much better. So in that way I still know that he’s not super receptive to my input on things. It’s done wonders for us for me to just say, “I know you’ve never put us at risk and I trust you”. Thanks again for the input :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/12/22 07:43 PM |
| 3 | “Two” husbandsI’ve been working on dressing nicer the last month or so. He has expressed his appreciation for it :). Thank you for the suggestions | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/12/22 07:40 PM |
| 3 | How can I say no and remain a surrendered wife?Then she needs to just not do it. Don’t take the bait of an argument. Just say no and hold her ground. It’s like with children / the more they fuss and I give in, they will keep fussing. If she gives in each time he pouts or gets annoyed then he gets his way. | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/12/22 07:38 PM |
| 10 | How can I say no and remain a surrendered wife?With your example - my husband can be similar. For example we had an issue with the car repair place. My husband was busy at work and asked me to call and handle it. He very rarely even gets a moment to eat lunch let alone take care of personal calls. In that case I did handle it. If there are things where I know I can’t get the same outcome he can - I tell him that I it will end up with me being the middle man and it’s just doesn’t make sense for me to do that. Now I look at my role to be submi… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/12/22 05:02 AM |
| 2 | “Two” husbandsIt’s a simplified version of how things have been. My husband has worked there a long time and his boss is generous. But my husband was ready to quit 2/3 years ago. He was offered the manager position (just because he filled in and did a great job). He decided to stay because it would give him experience in that position. He went into the position excited and wanting to change the way things were run. His boss seemed to be very behind him except when push comes to shove nothing really has change… | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/12/22 05:28 AM |
| 7 | “Two” husbandsThat’s a very easy thing to say from there. We have 4 kids and I work a minimal amount. The question wasn’t about how to make my husband change jobs but rather how to support him while he is transitioning into a new jobs. His boss has given us cars, helped us buy a house, etc. My husband isn’t quick to just up and walk away from the job. | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/12/22 06:03 PM |
| 8 | “Two” husbandsHe hasn’t started actively looking. I know he’s gotten very jaded recently - without divulging too much info, my husband is a manager and his boss undermined him and belittled him in front of my husband’s employees over something very small. Since he has been there so long and his boss has been something of a father figure to him and my husband really respected him - I think there’s a sense of betrayal if you will. And being at work has him angry and he’s having trouble working around that. My h… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/12/22 12:14 PM |
| 11 | “Two” husbandsHe isn’t applying because his boss has cancer (he works for a small business). He is a manager and doesn’t want to leave his boss in a lurch. He’s waiting until his boss’s treatment is done. He’s been there a long time and for most of that time his boss has been almost more like a father figure (he’s been very generous to us - helped us buy our house among other things). There’s most definitely an element of fear. My husband is very “blue collar” and knowledgeable in his niche. But he’s unsure o… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/12/22 12:07 PM |
| 2 | Where to find likeminded red pill women?I have friends of different political persuasions. Our friendships aren’t superficial. We just don’t talk politics and if/when it comes up we just hear the other person out and move on (no judgement or comment). Some of my favorite people are also the best people to debate with. Not making friends with people politically different than us just adds to the polarization. | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/12/22 10:27 AM |
| 2 | Working part time and stay at home mom full time stay out home mom ?Not sure why this is making you so angry. My husband is incredibly involved. If I hand our children to strangers - their discipline, routines, values are instilled. My husband is a very large part in deciding the rules and consequences for our children. If there’s a decision I am not sure about or something I need help with I either call him or wait until he is home to discuss it with him. A child care worker follows the rules and regulations of the facility. And from what I have seen often thei… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/12/22 10:52 PM |
| 1 | Working part time and stay at home mom full time stay out home mom ?If my husband wanted to be the one to stay at home - I’d be OK with that (he doesn’t). He always felt that having me there that he knew they were being raised well. It was as much his decision as it was mine. Someone needs to take care of the children whether it’s mom, dad, or outside person. It’s isn’t devaluing what my husband does as a father. It’s also shown our kids what it means to provide for your family and to raise your children. He is very proud of the values he has instilled in our ki… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/12/22 08:27 PM |
| 98 | CheatingI would argue that 6 months is still in the vetting phase, but that’s just me. And seeing him for what he is now is a bullet avoided for the further. Sorry- it sucks that this happened to you :( | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/12/22 11:19 PM |
| 2 | Working part time and stay at home mom full time stay out home mom ?This whole topic had me going to my husband in tears this evening thanking him for giving me 4 children and the opportunity to stay home with them. I’ve been so blessed ❤️. | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/12/22 03:22 AM |
| 1 | What do you like to wear for just lounging around the house?I was wearing jeans or yoga pants. I’m moving more into wearing dresses. I will wear a skirt or dress with leggings underneath. If needed I have lots of cardigan type sweaters and pull overs. | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/12/22 03:17 AM |
| 7 | Working part time and stay at home mom full time stay out home mom ?Without much information, I will get on my soap box. I don’t understand why people have children and have no intention to raise them. Parents who both work full time see their kids in the morning before day care and then for, what, 2 hours before bedtime? Then there’s the weekend at least. I work part time (like 15 hours a week) but my kids are a little older. I never wanted a daycare worker raising my children. I wanted (and have gotten to) see all my kids firsts. Their first words, steps, etc.… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/12/22 12:52 PM |
| 3 | I want to do a complete 180 in my relationship, but i don’t even know where to start.This is the answer right here to start with. Sitting him down and telling him things are changing are you still being masculine. And saying you have to start over is ridiculous. There is always hope. And I love Laura Doyle’s approach because it doesn’t require all these talks and lectures and diving deep into all the problems of your marriage/LTR. Start there. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/12/22 07:40 PM |
| 3 | Advice on raising your kids with good morals in a society dominated by hypersexual cultureIt initially was discussed when my boys went looking for “butts” when they were younger (6 or 7). It’s come up again here and there over the years. | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/12/22 08:09 PM |
| 9 | Advice on raising your kids with good morals in a society dominated by hypersexual cultureMy husband had a porn addiction. He is absolutely tyrannical regarding screens. The idea of handing the entire internet to a child is mind boggling to me. | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/12/22 06:53 PM |
| 1 | Is it expected?How has your attitude and demeanor been? Our husbands like the things you mentioned but my question would be are you cheerful when he gets home and greet him with a smile? Are you complaining to him about the things he isn’t doing? Etc. | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/12/22 10:59 AM |
| 53 | Advice on raising your kids with good morals in a society dominated by hypersexual cultureI have 4 kids. While we are in a suburb, the kids are inundated with sex anyway. I can’t speak for how they will turn out with what we are doing since my oldest is only 14. we limit social media. Mainstream Reddit and voices will say “oh they’ll just sneak around”, but we still limit it. They aren’t allowed on YouTube unsupervised. We have passwords and protections on devices and no screens are allowed in bedrooms. we are honest and upfront. We haven’t said “no don’t do this” without a conversat… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/12/22 10:44 AM |
| 6 | Is it expected?When you say that you used red pill what does that mean? What were you like before and what are you like now? | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/12/22 05:14 PM |
| 38 | Is it expected?My first suggestion is always to read The Empowered Wife. Instead of complaining about his non effort - show gratitude for what he does do. In regards to housework - as Laura Doyle says - you don’t have to pick up everything. As women we tend to go “well I guess if you aren’t doing it I have to” then get angry because we are doing it. Also let’s NOT ignore the fact that the only way you are getting to quit your job and focus on your hustle is because your man is working. Has he complained about … | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/12/22 12:23 PM |
| 3 | Weight LossI may not have been clear enough. I want to lose weight. I am frustrated at my attempts to lose weight not being productive (I have lost 40 pounds but I’ve maintained for the last 3 years). I’m working on some core healing (I have had 4 big babies) and I have an injury and weakness. I’ve put losing weight aside for the last 6 months or so because my attempts to lose weight have been so frustrating. With doing this rehab work it is something back front and center. I was expressing this frustratio… | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/12/22 03:26 PM |
| 13 | Upset with lack of initiative of my boyfriendI am someone who would have gotten the email and probably don’t something similar because I would have forgotten. My husband very rarely ever plans anything for us. I used to get annoyed by that, but I have learned to embrace it. I enjoy the planning and organizing and he doesn’t. So I just do it and do my best with it. My husband always says thank you when I do. I do not in any way feel like his mom. I just embrace that it is my skill and not his. So as for number one it’s an acceptance thing. … | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/12/22 03:16 PM |
| 3 | Trauma, high libido, insecurity questionYes of course and there are long term consequences. | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/12/22 12:33 PM |
| 16 | What is the line between division of labor and being taken advantage of?I asked it the way I did because the question is always “is the wife a servant?”. No one ever asks it the other way. If he makes a lot is it possible to budget for things like a housekeeper? I feel like a functioning and important member of my house if I do all the things at home so I guess that’s how I know I am not a pushover. I’m supporting my husband who is supporting me and the kids. I give moral support and encouragement and sex. So I guess what I consider not a pushover someone else might… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/12/22 08:32 PM |
| 16 | What is the line between division of labor and being taken advantage of?For myself and my husband I take on 80% or so of the household chores. I do work slightly part time so he takes over on those weekends I am working. I balked at the idea of me having a “role” for years. I had zero issue with expecting my husband to work but I rarely expected anything of myself. Now I see it as a blessing to my family that I get to maintain the home and I take pride in the job I do. Of course that being said we’ve had the flu and the strep throat over the last 3 weeks and it’s su… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/12/22 07:07 PM |
| 18 | Trauma, high libido, insecurity questionI come from the point of view of not having sex until marriage (or at least a firm commitment of marriage) so I will approach as if I was speaking to a situation like that. Sex is part of the deal. It is not just OK to expect sex, it’s actually (from a Christian perspective) mandatory in a marriage. In fact I think any monogamous, romantic relationship is at its core a sexual contract. You agree to not have sex with anyone else so the expectation is that this person will be fulfilling those sexu… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/12/22 04:19 PM |
| 36 | My partner has “Peter Pan Syndrome” and I feel guilty for wanting to leave because of that.I never like to give advice to leave. I do, however, want to present the idea that at 25, the excuse that growing up is hard - is not acceptable. I would not allow my 9 year old to behave this way and i especially wouldn’t put up with my teenager behaving this way. I would like to posit this also - can you imagine having children with this man if that’s something you want? I would expect an infant to behave this way - if it’s too hot or cold or they are hungry or tired they cry. How could he pos… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/12/22 12:42 AM |
| 3 | ASKRPW: Husband and I view purpose of marriage differently. How can I reconcile myself to this?I wonder if he feels his needs were being met - in regards to respect especially. My husband and I have been somewhat in the same place and it stemmed from me being disrespectful to the point that he felt he has to pull away to protect himself. Have you read The Empowered Wife by Laura Doyle? I highly suggest doing those things she lays out in her book. | /r/RedPillWives | 01/12/22 03:25 PM |
| 3 | Thank you, GoogleWhen I search “my husband yells at me” the first option is a domestic violence help page. I searched”my wife yells at me” and no such thing pops up. | /r/MensRights | 27/11/22 12:39 PM |
| 19 | Where is the line between surrendering/STFU and weaponised incompetence?I think it’s going to depend on the couple IMO. My husband doesn’t particularly care for my input on his driving and it’s been an issue in the past. So for me - yes I would not say anything to him for the most part. Obviously if I’m the navigator and he’s expecting me to chime in that’s a different story. Id say 99% of the time he knows what he’s doing and missed the exit for a reason so if I speak up it will still come across as nagging. | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/11/22 08:08 PM |
| 3 | Was I ungrateful?Ah okay. I didn’t understand that part of it. If your hope is to restore a relationship i would recommend reading Laura Doyle and follow her steps. Otherwise it may be better to move on? | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/11/22 12:28 PM |
| 0 | Was I ungrateful?This is what I’m referring to: “I fell sick this past weekend because of it, and when he called, he started talking again about how I hurt him and left him ( I left him because I didn't follow him, I wasn't productive, I was fighting and negative), he didn't bother asking me how I was feeling and when I asked him to stop screaming because I didn't feel good he said that "If you didn't care about me, why should i care about you" You hurt him by your actions while you were together and by leaving … | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/11/22 11:40 AM |
| 4 | Was I ungrateful?My take is that he had a lot of husband privileges without the commitment. Yes he did a lot for you, but quitting your job and dropping friends and being essentially a housewife are things a husband gets not a boyfriend (or even fiancé). So the dynamic was off to begin with. The self care you doing and the efforts you are putting in to be a healthier person are things you ought to have been doing while you were together and not doing those things probably led to the unsettled and ungrateful feel… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/11/22 11:02 AM |
| 2 | How can I feel more comfortable being sexual and sensual with my partner.One great way to connect with your body is massage. I’m a massage therapist and it’s one of my favorite things about massage - it’s gets your brain back into your body lol. I understand what he may have meant - I’m just saying that having conversations about how to resolve it would be more productive :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/11/22 10:43 AM |
| 17 | A little inspiration (from the woman not to be)I have a friend who reminds me of this. She told me the other day how her husband surprised her with a new vehicle since her van broke down. She complained that now they had a car payment. My reaction was “oh my gosh how wonderful of him!” Lol. But it was a very big reminder of being grateful for even the little things that my husband generously does for me. | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/11/22 11:30 PM |
| 1 | ? For the homemakersI seriously just asked in recently in the home making sub lol. They suggested figuring out what your style is to begin with. There are lots of quizzes online. Then start just looking at things that fit that particular style. | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/11/22 08:06 PM |
| 1 | How do I (25F) bring value to my bf's (33M) life when he is already doing so well on his own?Existing in his life can be a benefit for him. Men earn more when they are married. It’s a huge motivation to provide for his family. Being there as a partner is a benefit to him. Receive his gifts graciously. Him getting to treat you well is a benefit to him. Being sweet and feminine and going all doe eyed when he gives you things is wonderful. Ask him to teach you to cook. I disagree that cooking is the feminine thing. And if you do get married (and he’s pursuing a career) he probably wouldn’t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/11/22 08:03 PM |
| 2 | How can I feel more comfortable being sexual and sensual with my partner.It sounds like you need to learn how to be more sexy and sensual period (not even in the context of sex with your partner). I found for me it meant embracing my sexual nature and being aware of things around me that are sensual. Paying attention to your senses in a literal way. How things taste and smell and feel and really noticing those things around you. Sort of a “stop and smell the roses” type thing. Then embrace those things about yourself - what do the clothes you’re wearing reflect? If I… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/11/22 01:50 PM |
| 2 | Why is it constantly asserted that all women have to be constantly in “fear for their lives” of being assaulted, raped or killed by men despite most men being harmless?My point is to stop victimizing ourselves regardless of genders. Bad things happen to some people. We can paint all men as being something and women as “privileged” and then be just as bad as feminists. | /r/MensRights | 12/11/22 07:07 PM |
| 5 | Why is it constantly asserted that all women have to be constantly in “fear for their lives” of being assaulted, raped or killed by men despite most men being harmless?I know. But I’m weaker then my 14 year old son so there’s that 🤷🏻♀️ | /r/MensRights | 12/11/22 06:59 PM |
| 3 | Why is it constantly asserted that all women have to be constantly in “fear for their lives” of being assaulted, raped or killed by men despite most men being harmless?As a woman - I am weaker then most men. Most men are good and don’t abuse that. But there are the few that would take advantage of that. Do I carry mace when I’m out walking alone? Heck yes. Unfortunately some women have been seriously abused and taken advantage of by those few men and assume all men must be feared. Then that is pushed in the media and the threat of women (while physically weaker have our strengths as well) is downplayed or erased from existence. | /r/MensRights | 12/11/22 06:20 PM |
| 2 | Paradoxically, feminism is a rejection of all that is FeminineFeminism at the start (or at least “2nd wave”) was about eliminating differences between men and women. Femininity was (is) seen as weakness and a social construct. Of course the ridiculousness of the arguments fall apart on most levels. There are a few (very few) feminists that argue women should be at the front lines and be eligible for the draft. But there are so many contradictions eventually. | /r/MensRights | 10/11/22 01:28 PM |
| 16 | Adhd housewife failingHey there! I also have ADHD and am a terrible homemaker lol. My favorite blogger is A Slob Comes Clean and she wrote a book called “how to manage your home without losing your mind”. Essentially pick one thing you do everyday and just do that until it becomes a habit. Then pick the next logical thing. I know, I know - but you are probably saying , “everything is a mess, where do I start?”. My starting place was making the bed. Then I was picking up the clothes off the bedroom floor. And then it’… | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/11/22 12:02 AM |
| 9 | Isn’t it Ironic. Alanis Morissette Skipped Rock And Roll Hall of Fame Ceremony Due to ‘Overarching Anti-Woman Sentiment’….in Tribute to a Woman.Unfortunately having watched her documentary on HBO - she had a crappy experience with men. I’m not justifying her position. I can imagine that if being in this bubble that just seems to be teeming with predators (of any sex) might skew someone’s worldview. I don’t think it is right, but it’s the only explanation I can come up with that is even slightly rational. | /r/MensRights | 08/11/22 11:53 PM |
| 5 | Does Laura Doyle condone abusive marriages?I did the same thing for a long time. I would read the book, get excited and then gradually stop doing those things. A lot of it was that I just hadn’t hit rock bottom yet. I really didn’t think I was that bad and would go “eh I don’t need those skills anyway”. I would love to do the coaching, it’s just so not in the budget. The last time I read the book was in July and I had a notebook and a pen and really challenged myself to do everything she said 100% for 6 months. I was here a lot. I journa… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/11/22 10:08 AM |
| 9 | Does Laura Doyle condone abusive marriages?Thanks :) For me it came back around to respect. Yes I had a lot of trouble controlling my emotions (or the expression of those emotions rather). I’m not perfect by any means but I’m not where I was. But I began to really see how disrespectful my outburst were. The main principle with Laura Doyle is that you can’t change your husband (or anyone else except yourself). I began realizing my outbursts were connected to two things: Self care Not fully trusting my husband To elaborate… anytime I get i… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/11/22 10:48 PM |
| 10 | Does Laura Doyle condone abusive marriages?https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/yioucu/field_report_my_husband_is_amazing/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf There’s a lot of context and back story to this. I’ve posted a lot here for help in my marriage. It wasn’t until I really stuck to the skills that LD teaches that I saw change. My husband has been full of contempt and bitterness toward me. The fact that it’s turning around is just amazing to me honestly. And yes at some point someone might have said my hus… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/11/22 09:00 PM |
| 46 | Does Laura Doyle condone abusive marriages?She’s very specific about abusive marriages in the beginning of her book. She encourages women to do what they want and if it to stay in a marriage then yes, she encourages them to. (Edit: but she does say the addicts, serial cheaters, and abusers are not to be trusted. You need to be able to say that at one point he was a good guy. And let’s be honest most of the women on the podcast could be considered abusive to their husbands). She’s covered serial cheaters as someone you shouldn’t trust. Yo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/11/22 03:42 PM |
| 5 | Casual QuestionsNope - I love having my husband rescue me 😊🤷🏻♀️. My 14 year old son handles bugs if my husband isn’t home and he is. | /r/RedPillWives | 03/11/22 09:33 AM |
| 1 | I’m finally updating my wardrobe and it’s made me realize how much I neglected my mental health.I have had a lot of luck using Stitch Fix and Nadine West. It encouraged me to try some things I may not have noticed if I went shopping myself. | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/10/22 03:57 PM |
| 21 | How do you STFU without building any resentment? Seriously, how.There’s a difference in STFU and expressing what you need. If we use the captain & first mate dynamic, it is the responsibility of the first mate to tell the captain what is needed. If what you need is a mother’s helper a few times a week to get some sleep, then you need to let your husband know that. Also the expectations on a mom with a young child who is pregnant just can’t be the same as a wife who isn’t experiencing those things. If he wants to be able to whisk you away on a business trip, … | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/10/22 07:34 AM |
| 7 | Should a lack of motivation be a deal breaker?I’m saying agreeable to her desire to be told that she is girl boss and should leave her deadbeat husband. She can find lots of places to go to hear that. This isn’t one of them. | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/10/22 04:23 PM |
| 13 | Should a lack of motivation be a deal breaker?It sounds like you want our approval to leave. That isn’t really what you will get here unless he is abusing you. If you want a bunch of agreeable women to encourage you to leave then xxchromosome is probably the better place or one of the marriage subreddits. You can only change you and take accountability for the life you’ve created by behaving these ways. I’m not saying your husband isn’t accountable for himself, but he’s not the one here asking for help. I also am a firm believer that nearly… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/10/22 01:53 PM |
| 2 | Should a lack of motivation be a deal breaker?Read The Empowered Wife. I would say that in many ways you’ve probably taught him that this is what you want. Maybe you’ve argued and nagged, but your actions speak otherwise. I imagine that you probably come along and fix things behind him that he leaves undone or doesn’t do well. Also read Fascinating Womanhood. | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/10/22 01:30 PM |
| 1 | Mothers get flowers on Mother's Day. What should fathers get on Father's Day?I like to spoil my husband for Father’s Day. But he usually doesn’t want anything. The kids all give him cards. I Usually just let him sleep to be honest. He’s not as into sex the last few years so the blow job things doesn’t seem to hold the same sway. | /r/MensRights | 28/10/22 11:32 PM |
| 32 | What is femininity according to you ?I think being feminine is fully embracing the experience of being a woman. Having children (bio or otherwise) and being nurturing, giving into the feminine desires instead of fighting them (wanting to look pretty, to be protected, have a circle of women you are a part of). It is being strong, but not in a masculine way; being of a meek and gentle spirit. It means embracing emotions but not being controlled by them. But allowing emotions to guide where you need to be strong and fight. It’s being … | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/10/22 10:15 AM |
| 34 | Personal Boundaries Follow Up PostHere is the question for you… do you trust him? Why do I ask? Because for me as a Christian woman if my husband asked me to submit in those ways - I would. As long as he isn’t asking me to sin. Or at least I would try to. But I wholeheartedly trust my husband. On the other hand it seems like he is setting you up for failure. Because even if you chose to submit on these ways - you are going to make mistakes and “mess up”… you’re human. So then he gets to rub it in as yet another reason why he can… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/10/22 04:57 PM |
| 5 | Help! My husband and I are at a complete gridlock as it relates to personal belonging boundaries.I am happy to share some examples of how I was disrespectful. I constantly interrupted him during conversations and would say “sorry it’s just how I am!”. I would call/text him constantly at work and be upset if he didn’t reply. I wouldn’t clean the house even though he asked me repeatedly to do so (and being home with the kids I had agreed that it was my responsibility). He felt my not keeping the house clean undermined him working - he was paying for these things that I refused to take care of… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/10/22 11:15 AM |
| 12 | Help! My husband and I are at a complete gridlock as it relates to personal belonging boundaries.You said you come from a conservative Christian background so I’m not sure if you still practice any particular faith. I mention this because submission is the wife’s responsibility, not the husband’s. Meaning the command given to submission is that the wife is to submit not the husband strong arm her into submission. I’m not sure what the answer is to this, but I agree that it is concerning. To play the devil’s advocate… my husband started listening to a lot of red pull stuff and got really ang… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/10/22 11:52 PM |
| 4 | Managing relationship anxietyI developed some relationship anxiety in my marriage because of just a series of crappy events (not relevant here I don’t think). I can get really worked up over something my husband said and analyze it to death and be really upset and then he either doesn’t even remember saying it (meaning it was something inconsequential) or it wasn’t what he meant at all. I also can become really overwhelming to my husband and wanting him to ease my anxiety. What has helped me greatly is self care and distrac… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/10/22 11:28 AM |
| 2 | Consistency and other things❤️ thank you | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/10/22 09:42 PM |
| 2 | Consistency and other thingsThank you. I like that idea a lot. | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/10/22 09:33 PM |
| 2 | Consistency and other thingsThank you so much for your reply. I love these ideas and I will certainly implement them! | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/10/22 09:33 PM |
| 7 | Which woman hasn’t been bombarded by unsolicited help from men? | Rebecca SolnitI know. :( That’s a big reason I show my gratitude anytime it happens though. | /r/MensRights | 20/10/22 04:26 PM |
| 5 | Which woman hasn’t been bombarded by unsolicited help from men? | Rebecca SolnitI’m a woman. I guess I’m weird that I like that men are watching out for me 🤷🏻♀️. I very rarely say no if a man offers to help me or offered directions or whatever. You’ll get a smile and big “thanks” from me. Especially if you put my luggage in the overhead compartment- seriously don’t not do that for me lol. If I can in any way get out of heavy lifting I will 100% be grateful. These women who don’t understand what they’ve got SMH… | /r/MensRights | 20/10/22 03:48 PM |
| 2 | Question: What is femininity? What is submission?That’s a good point. Being feminine is sort of using your feminine “powers” for good lol. I think we could manipulate our men to do things we want them to do. And being submissive means not doing that. | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/10/22 01:20 PM |
| 8 | Question: What is femininity? What is submission?No. Because submission is respecting whatever he decides. For example I homeschool our children. He has told me to make the decisions regarding homeschool. We talk about budget and things I’m concerned with if I need his advice, but I manage 95% of the homeschooling (choosing and purchasing curriculum, teaching, etc). One might say I’m not submitting because I’m making decisions. However he told me to just make those choices and that he trusts me with that. My making those decision is submission… | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/10/22 12:27 PM |
| 8 | Question: What is femininity? What is submission?I give my opinion to my husband - he doesn’t want a doormat. I also don’t nag and keep pressing the issue. It may have been good for your parents either way. Unless one knows the future it’s impossible to say. I’d rather have peace with my husband than not have peace. But if it’s a big enough issue that’s different, but I trust my husband that it wouldn’t even go that far. My husband isn’t perfect. But I do know my husband really dislikes arguing (most men are that way - they really do not want … | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/10/22 11:53 AM |
| 19 | Question: What is femininity? What is submission?Being feminine (to me) is fully embracing my feminine traits - being nurturing, caring, emotional at times (or in touch with my emotions?), being weaker than my husband so allowing him to protect me, and more superficially - being pampered (even when it’s just me doing the pampering). Being submissive to my husband (and only my husband, not all men) means trusting him. We make decisions together, but I don’t argue with him over decisions he is making. There are some decisions I just say, “whatev… | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/10/22 11:22 AM |
| 5 | Help! First time doing a boudoir photo shootI would not trust someone that reached out to me. You can do a boudoir shoot but you need to go find someone yourself and make sure they are reputable. A friend of mine is a photographer and she does do boudoir shoots. She’s an established photographer who I would trust to the end of the earth and back with my pictures. | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/10/22 11:02 AM |
| 8 | What movies or shows should I actively avoid watching?Stupid meaning - you can just suspend your beliefs for the 2 hours or whatever and just enjoy it. We were like - we could dissect it and analyze how unrealistic things were, but no let’s just enjoy something fun. | /r/MensRights | 17/10/22 05:47 PM |
| 35 | What movies or shows should I actively avoid watching?My husband and I used to watch movies and shows together all the time. We haven’t watched much lately partly because of this. We enjoyed the new Top Gun simply because it was a stupid action movie with not a bunch of political undertones or male bashing. Watching the latest season of Stranger Things was interesting. I was semi enjoying it and my husband pointed out that almost all the male characters this time around were complete wusses and stupid. We started watching Black Sails on Starz but I… | /r/MensRights | 17/10/22 03:03 PM |
| 10 | How to raise a boy while maintaining your femininity?Be a nurturing mom :). I didn’t have brothers so everything about my son was totally new! But I was his comfort and safe place where dad was the one who pushed boundaries. This has been the case for all of our kids (2 girls and 2 boys). Best example is going to the pool. My kids would be worried and cautious and I’d hold them. My husband would swoop in and bring them to the deep end, jump in with them, splash, etc. That is pretty much anything. Biggest piece of advice is just don’t contradict yo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/10/22 04:22 PM |
| 44 | Husband took off his wedding ringI didn’t wear my wedding ring for about 3 years. There’s a few reasons: I was constantly losing it. I can’t wear it for work so I would take it off while giving a massage and then forget where I put it. After about 6+ times of this my husband asked me to put it somewhere safe. I have sensory issues and I could never “forget” my ring on my finger. I went and bought a cheap Amazon ring that I wear now so if I lose it it doesn’t matter. I can always feel it. This is the same for any jewelry. I gain… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/10/22 10:02 AM |
| 12 | 12 years Married and Now on the Rocks.Have you read The Empowered Wife? Often there are other issues - like him feeling disrespected for example that lead to these things. I’m overweight and he feels disrespected not because of my weight, but that I’m not taking care of my health for the sake of the family. As well as other issues of respect. Laura Doyle also has a podcast and I learned alot from that. | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/10/22 04:03 PM |
| 9 | What birth control method(s) has been highly effective and comfortable for you?I could not handle hormonal birth control. I did the fertility awareness method and condoms & pull out around any fertile days (the first part of my cycle for the most part). Interestingly women can only get pregnant for about 24 hours. Sperm however can live for up for 5 days so there’s about a 5 day window of every cycle of fertility. But with all that being said, one should be very knowledgeable on how to track (there are lots of apps and even thermometers that do the tracking for you now!). … | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/10/22 10:13 AM |
| 10 | What birth control method(s) has been highly effective and comfortable for you?I could not handle hormonal birth control. I did the fertility awareness method and condoms around any fertile days (the first part of my cycle for the most part). | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/10/22 10:09 AM |
| 9 | Pearl's 2 cents on YouTube creatorsMy husband will watch sometimes which drives me crazy. He at least disagrees with most of it. He said one time she said something along the lines of influencers being entertainers. He even cautions me to remember that whenever I watch anyone - to take it with a grain of salt because they are entertainers trying to gain a following at the end of the day. | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/10/22 03:48 PM |
| 4 | I've recently been having a lot of anxiety around RP.I can’t watch most of that either. I’m 38, married, my body needs some work after 4 kids and all it doesn’t is stir up insecurity. I can’t stand the pendulum swing these Influencers do - yes a lot of things have been blamed on men that should have, it doesn’t mean now it’s all blamed on women. | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/10/22 07:53 PM |
| 1 | Feminine Stoicism❤️ thank you | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/10/22 09:43 PM |
| 1 | Feminine StoicismThank you. I do appreciate the lovely comments. And it gives me a lot of think about. ❤️ | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/10/22 09:42 PM |
| 3 | Feminine StoicismThank you. I figured that was the case in terms of using clippers. My husband gets a little paranoid. I guess my question on femininity is in regards to my relationship with my husband more than anything. I understand the idea of letting things go when there is suffering, but I also think it’s a moment of testing to see true character (and develop character). I hope in some way to find meaning here even while everything is shitty. | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/10/22 05:34 PM |
| 4 | Feminine StoicismI think without knowing it, that’s what I’m doing (the EQ and framing). Thanks for the thoughtful response. And it makes sense - the idea of compartmentalization vs stoicism. | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/10/22 04:33 PM |
| 7 | Pregnancy ResourcesI like Dr Sears pregnancy book. Regarding child birth I love Ina May Gaskin. I haven’t been pregnant in over 6 years and I had my first 14 years ago so I might be ignorant here - but in what ways are you finding the info to be biased? Just a curiosity | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/10/22 04:15 PM |
| 21 | Late 30s LTR HelpIn Fascinating Womanhood she talks about the unfortunate part of being a wife means we get the short end of the stick at times. When our husbands are giving the world their best face, they come home and relax and don’t give us what we think we ought to have. A big part of it is not creating a bigger burden on him. Admire the giving nature he has had compliment him on that. Tell him how much you respect and admire how he handles those that demand his time. And no, he doesn’t want your help in car… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/10/22 04:57 PM |
| 2 | How to initiate sex without initiating sex...?I’m not sure if it’s me or if it’s kissing in general. We’ve had a lot of struggles in our marriage in the last few years . And while things have been changing and getting back to something better, there’s a lack of any type of intimacy. I know he’s resentful towards me and so I’m not sure if he just doesn’t want to kiss me or if he wouldn’t anyway. He never like stuff in my lips when we kissed, but now it’s just an absolute no / he won’t kiss me if I’ve got chapstick or lip gloss or anything on… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/10/22 03:55 PM |
| 2 | How to initiate sex without initiating sex...?My husband used to like when I wore lipstick particularly very red and then give him a BJ. Now he’s gotten weird about anything on my lips. Well, he doesn’t like kissing in particular so anything on my lips makes him like it even less. | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/10/22 03:36 PM |
| 1 | Will men cheat if they aren’t sexually satisfied enough?My husband and I have had a rocky marriage in the past. There was a massive lack of any emotional intimacy. I was in a situation where there was a man who was professionally interested in me (meaning we are in the same profession and he was so excited to work with me). I found myself almost fantasizing about this person whom I had zero physical attraction to. I didn’t even allow that to fester because I knew I was super vulnerable on a situation where a guy was showing emotional interest in me. … | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/10/22 06:20 PM |
| 13 | My fiancé talks to me like I’m stupid when the housework isn’t done, but he pays all the bills and housework is my only job. Is this fair?I don’t think being mean is okay, but I could understand the frustration of things aren’t kept tidy on the regular - especially since the expectation is that is what you ought to be doing as your “job”. My husband was incredibly frustrated because I was OK with him having a defined role (provider) while I refused to put myself in a role (thanks feminism). To be honest - it sounds like an argument. When tempers get heated, things get said that aren’t kind. Clutter and mess really interfere with m… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/10/22 01:21 AM |
| 2 | Girlfriend has Strange Habits (Male asking advice)I’m typically of the mindset that we can only change ourselves. So.. why would you put up with someone who does that to you? | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/09/22 10:25 PM |
| 2 | How to fight resentmentThank you. It is something I’m working on and definitely needed to be reminded of. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/09/22 10:08 PM |
| 5 | Girlfriend has Strange Habits (Male asking advice)My husband would 100% not be okay with me looking at other guys and it would either be a massive argument (if I wanted to stick to my guns) or me apologizing for being incredibly disrespectful. However it is not even a thought that has entered my mind because it would be disrespectful to him. Yes we are both aware we find other people attractive but it isn’t something we flaunt to the other. We especially would not flirt with someone. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/09/22 10:05 PM |
| 2 | How to fight resentmentI do agree to a point. I’m stuck with what I’ve got though. My kids aren’t involved in that many activities. It’s just enough that I need the car almost daily which means driving my husband to work. Like Mondays we go to our homeschool group. Then my son works after that. Then it’s pick up from work (he can only work 3 hours so it’s like just enough to go back home after I drop him off). Today I needed to bring my mom’s laundry to her and then once again drive my son to work. Tomorrow is the wor… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/09/22 10:02 PM |
| 3 | How to fight resentmentThank you for that reminder. He has tried to make some other things a little easier on me. He has offered to get dinner a few times which he never does. I know logically it’s not something he’s trying to do. Sometimes when I’m wiped out it’s easy to forget that! | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/09/22 03:50 PM |
| 3 | Home making inspiration? I’m so burnt out.All of that detail gives far more insight into why you’re feeling like this! Find some balance with cleaning and meal making :). I know it’s hard to do! | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/09/22 07:05 PM |
| 14 | Home making inspiration? I’m so burnt out.This is a different take, but are you feeling depressed? I ask because you mention self care being useless. That’s usually the point where I realize I’m in a depressed slump. Maybe you need to switch up your routine or get help (either help cleaning or even talking to someone). I think finding joy in the little things is what keeps me from burning out. Finding meaning in the why I am cleaning and making meals. Are you pursing anything you enjoy? Or developing any hobbies or even working on yours… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/09/22 09:40 AM |
| 2 | best way to go about this?I think this is the best way. Most likely he can’t even smell it anymore anyway. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/09/22 04:44 PM |
| 2 | Should I try to self discover more?My nest isn’t empty yet! My youngest is 6 and my oldest is 14. But now that I’m not snuggling babies anymore and they can mostly do things for themselves, I like to have things that I do. My story is probably a bit different in that I went to school for massage - so that’s my hobby :) But I like to bake, read, go on walks, etc. to keep myself busy and entertained. I do homeschool as well so a portion of my day is taken up there. My mother in law was so wrapped up in her kids that she refused to … | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/09/22 04:47 PM |
| 2 | Submission: a rose by any other nameMy husband and I are both of the same faith, but we “practice” it differently. I have expressed once or twice my desire for a family worship time and now I have let it rest. I lead a “family worship” time on occasion and he tends to join in when he is home (I just read a liturgical Bible study with the kids) and with homeschool I do a catechism. If you are a Christian, I suggest The Excellent Wife as a good resource on submission even when your husband isn’t a believer or doesn’t do it the way y… | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/09/22 04:40 PM |
| 2 | CaregivingI appreciate the thoughtful reply. I totally understand the panic and anxiety. I guess some of my frustration is not being able to help more, but receiving lots of phone calls where I feel totally helpless. My sister spoke to the nurses yesterday about support groups and the nurse said she would have someone contact my mom which I’m grateful for. My sister and I last night were just feeling overwhelmed knowing there isn’t a whole lot we can do. But we talked about just taking it a day at a time … | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/09/22 09:07 AM |
| 24 | Should I try to self discover more?I don’t think it’s a bad thing to be happy and feel like your cup is full. However I can definitely see where your husband is coming from. Now that my kids are older and don’t really need me, I find myself with more free time. Having things I already do has helped with the transition. | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/09/22 01:06 AM |
| 2 | CaregivingMy husband suggested something similar (making a schedule). Thanks for the reply :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/09/22 04:55 PM |
| 2 | CaregivingI do think since it is a new dynamic it will take some adjusting and getting used to. I agree with setting up some boundaries and figuring out how to do all of that. She was open to the idea of getting on some Facebook groups (she loves that sort of thing anyway). My husband called after I just texted him about feeling some anxiety and he gave me some very good ideas on the whole thing. I appreciate your input for sure :) The whole driving things drives me crazy. I hate driving. But it’s a neces… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/09/22 02:44 PM |
| 3 | CaregivingShe is. She’s had lots of offers from people to help her out and her pastor calls her weekly. She seems hesitant to talk to anyone else though. | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/09/22 01:34 PM |
| 2 | CaregivingMy sister is taking her to an appointment today so I texted her to see if she could check if there are any groups directly through the cancer center and if she could prod my mom into checking them out. | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/09/22 01:12 PM |
| 4 | CaregivingThank you - those are all good suggestions. I’ll encourage her in those directions (therapy and finding someone to commiserate with). I’ve tried to encourage her to at least get on a Facebook group or something for support. She has sleep apnea and she got into a few groups where she learned so much about her machine (things the doctors haven’t mentioned). So I’ve been trying to get her to see that there’s probably lots of groups for chemo patients that are similar. She’s very nervous about anyth… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/09/22 12:48 PM |
| 1 | How to Please Husband in the Bedroom?Show him how you like things. My husband likes when I’m responsive and that I’m enjoying it also. He doesn’t want to just be getting off on me. What I mean is to moan if you like something or say something like “oh that’s it” (well in a sexy way). Do not fake this - he will pick up on what you like and if you fake it there’s 2 things that happen: 1) you’re lying to your husband and it will seriously wound him and 2) you’ll be stuck with that “move” forever. Take his hand and put it where you wan… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/09/22 09:48 AM |
| 6 | How to Please Husband in the Bedroom?I’m a massage therapist and I will give my husband a massage. He is asleep within seconds lol. This is the advice I get most often on this sub regarding sex - it doesn’t work for everyone lol. | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/09/22 09:37 AM |
| 1 | Communities That Promote Big FamiliesApologies - it wasn’t clear that you are a man looking to marry someone that wants a big family. Church if you are religious is what I can think of. | /r/RedPillWives | 18/09/22 08:54 PM |
| 3 | Communities That Promote Big FamiliesIf you are on Instagram, there are a lot there :) Honestly I can’t remember anyone I follow. I just go with my recommendations lol. Churches or homeschool groups tend to be more open to bigger families (sometimes). At my homeschool co op some of the larger families were 8+ children . Feel free to connect with me - I’ve got 4 kids :) Oh yeah and there’s https://www.reddit.com/r/ParentingInBulk/ | /r/RedPillWives | 17/09/22 08:38 PM |
| 1 | Life adviceThat’s hard :(. Family drama can be so difficult. If you believe you have anything you can apologize for, I would do that. But beyond that I would just engage only as needed and as long as they can be respectful toward you. If you know you are right and being truthful - then you can simply state that but not “go down to their level” if they get nasty or rude. Clean up your side of the street and don’t try to repair what they need to be in control of for themselves (their own actions and emotions… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/09/22 07:16 PM |
| 8 | Life adviceIt’s difficult to give specific advice without much info ;) | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/09/22 06:34 PM |
| 15 | Worried my boyfriend will burn outJordan Peterson has a personality test of the “big 5” psychological traits. One of them is contentiousness which is divided into 2 parts: industriousness and oh no I forgot the other one lol (I’m very low in contentiousness 😂). Oh - it’s orderliness! Anyway - people who are high in industriousness like to work. They find little use on relaxation and have a hard time doing it. My husband can be like this. I agree that this is you diagnosing the problem and trying to fix something that most likely… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/09/22 05:39 PM |
| 13 | I wish this space didn’t use such strongly gendered language for their philosophyIt may not be. This is a space that embraces that embraces the polarity between men and women. It’s going to be extremely gendered because of that and I can’t imagine that changing soon. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/09/22 10:00 AM |
| 1 | Help… not feeling alive in marriageIt’s a long, long story. We had a rough time with our new home, he had an OCD “episode”, along with a newborn, a very difficult child, and some issues from our marriage coming to the surface. For a while sex was triggering to his OCD so it didn’t happen often for the reason. His OCD also caused him to mentally check out for about 9 months or so. So we went from 3 times a week to perhaps monthly and that only at my insistence. I refused to see my part in any of it for quite some time and it’s bee… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/09/22 01:54 PM |
| 4 | Help… not feeling alive in marriageI would argue that self care goes far beyond working out. It means taking a bubble bath or getting a massage or whatever it is you do that is a guilty pleasure. There should be almost zero productivity involved. It might look different for you. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/09/22 12:27 PM |
| 8 | Husband likes being 'bossed around' and 'motivated' by me. Thoughts?Laura Doyle talks about it in The Empowered Wife - that yes our husbands start relying on us to be their moms and the transition to NOT being their mom is hard. As you stop doing those things that he could do, he’ll probably start baiting you. I bet that you don’t realize how much intimacy is missing until you back off. That is exhausting to be his mom! You won’t “get him” to see or do anything. You can only change YOU! That means you just start choosing to stop doing those things for him. Save … | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/09/22 12:19 PM |
| 1 | Help… not feeling alive in marriageMy husband has a lot of anxiety. And he thinks it’s from that. He said he even tried looking at porn and he didn’t feel an increase in libido. I would love if he went to talk to someone, but I can’t make him. He doesn’t even really “want” sex those times we do. It’s something he’s doing more for me. It’s tough. He used to be a 3 times a day guy so there’s definitely something going on with him (low T or something…) but again - I can’t make him go talk to a doctor. I do believe him when he says h… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/09/22 09:42 AM |
| 11 | Old photoYes. You’ll have to figure out a way to move past it. He wasn’t cheating. I can understand why you’d feel all the feels. But, sorry - it isn’t fair to hold it against him. Edit: if he still has it posted online (and especially if he’s identifiable) then that’s a different issue. I would ask him to remove it from wherever he posted it. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/09/22 09:39 AM |
| 5 | Want to be better about controlling my emotions, especially when under the influence.Stop. Drinking. I cannot control my emotions when I drink, therefore I very rarely drink. There’s almost zero upside for me (like taste, maybe?). Just don’t do it. | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/09/22 04:54 PM |
| 14 | Help… not feeling alive in marriageYou need self care. Like seriously. And an attitude change. It sounds like perhaps you need to grieve the life you wanted and accept what you have now. And as always read The Empowered Wife. It makes a huge difference. My focus has shifted in a huge way since really following the steps in the book. I’m more fulfilled because I do things that make me happy instead of waiting for my husband to make me happy. I also focus on the fact that I GET to raise my kids and be a partner to my husband. When … | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/09/22 12:11 PM |
| 1 | newly single and red pilledI have had to stop listening to a lot of the stuff on YouTube regarding redpill. 1) you aren’t destined to be totally alone forever, it just might not be exactly what you expected 2) you just got out of a serious very long relationship- grieve for a little bit 3) loose skin is better than diabetes and other complications from being obese. 4) there are a lot of people that I wonder how in the world they got married because they don’t fit my idea of being attractive… don’t discount yourself becaus… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/09/22 11:22 AM |
| 3 | boyfriend with anxietyDating is exactly for these type of situations. For two months in - this sounds miserable to be honest. He’s showing you who he is. Yes the idea that he might change is a wonderful idea. But he also might stay this way forever. Is that what you want to be married to? Then in 3-5 years you are back here asking how to inspire your husband to lead and be more assertive and less anxious. The dating stage shouldn’t be stressful. It should be fun and something you look forward to. | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/09/22 11:18 AM |
| 5 | How To Handle the Repercussions of Arguments?Is there any built up resentment that could be spurring this on? Every month or so (almost like clockwork) I have a day where I essentially rage at my husband because for the last week I have been building up some story in my head that may or may not be true. But it builds up like a pressure cooker. Then it might be one thing that “sets me off” then we argue. It’s embarrassing to even admit that to be honest. To describe these “episodes” - I ugly cry, I sit on the floor, say terrible things to m… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/09/22 12:32 AM |
| 12 | Contemplating divorce, but I don't want to...afraid of remaining miserable in my marriage.I added a bit more as I though of it - so there might be more that you missed lol. I “talk” a lot. It’s something I’m passionate about as you can probably tell | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/09/22 11:41 PM |
| 111 | Contemplating divorce, but I don't want to...afraid of remaining miserable in my marriage.Have you read The Empowered wife? That’s where I would say to start. Not counseling, not threats or more schedules. Listen to Laura Doyle’s podcast and read her book(s). you need self care. You are tired from handling all of the things you are handling and feeling like your needs arent being met. I imagine if you were to analyze yourself you aren’t super positive all the time either. Coming to you marriage happy and fulfilled will inspire your husband to be curious about you. And if it doesn’t i… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/09/22 11:32 PM |
| 2 | Struggling to keep a neat/clean house? This video has lots of pragmatic tips!Yup. I hear you on that. Some of it has also been a perspective change. I’ve always seen it as drudgery and “oh I have to do this things again…and again”. I’ve begun seeing it as the way I serve and bless my family. I’ve begun taking pride in a cleared counter after I fed everyone a good meal. I look in my husband’s drawer and see all the clean clothes and think - yup I did that! And I’m proud to have him going out in the world without having to worry about a thing here at home (and I don’t worr… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/08/22 05:33 PM |
| 5 | Struggling to keep a neat/clean house? This video has lots of pragmatic tips!Honestly the best thing I did was talk to a therapist and nurse practitioner and get meds for ADHD. I have zero focus and that’s a huge reason my house was always a mess. Any progress I have made is since I started taking Wellbutrin. I’ve learned a lot from various people and my house looks totally different than say 5 years ago. But that’s definitely the biggest change I made. It helped me to detach all the emotion I had with cleaning and how tired it would make me. I realized the effort it too… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/08/22 01:16 PM |
| 4 | Struggling to keep a neat/clean house? This video has lots of pragmatic tips!I have that video in my watch later list lol. I’ve been really tackling the state of my home lately. What has helped me is to view it as my job. Since I’m home more than I’m at work, I decided I need to view my homemaking like it’s my profession. That means I do things even when I’m tired or don’t want to. I schedule other things around what I need to get done at home instead of being so spontaneous that there’s no time left to make dinner or so the laundry. Getting rid of stuff has been really … | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/08/22 11:13 AM |
| 1 | I hate laundry dayI make laundry something fun for me and now I look forward to it! Since I have 4 kids I do at least 1 load of laundry daily. If I get behind I’m doing 3-4 loads in a day. My husband also wears multiple outfits (work clothes) and I do as well (workout stuff) so it piles up. have a specific day and time you do laundry. I “tend” to my laundry in the mornings before I do anything else - that might be throwing a load in, moving something to the dryer or folding a load of laundry. link it to something… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/08/22 11:43 PM |
| 3 | My husband is on a week long work trip. I would appreciate any advice on how to handle the week and his return.For yourself, definitely make sure you’re getting self care in. For me being home with the kids for that long makes me very stressed out and I need extra self care! | /r/RedPillWives | 08/08/22 09:52 PM |
| 4 | Fighting Words - Anti-Feminism, Christianity & Conservative PoliticsI’m religious and conservative. I have zero interest in a “fully RP’d man”. My husband has been listening to a lot of that over the last few years and I think it helped him give voice to a lot of his frustrations, but overall he disagrees with a lot of it. He gets it, but from his Christian perspective doesn’t think it’s right. I personally cannot stand listening to it because of the derogatory language toward women. I like spaces like this because I appreciate the more traditional view of marri… | /r/RedPillWives | 03/08/22 02:24 PM |
| 24 | The over-functioning - resentment cycleIf you read the Surrendered Wife she discusses this. She talks about how we pick things up because they are there and don’t let our husbands do anything. Then we build resentment because we are doing everything! I’d say pick the things you need him to handle. And lay them back down. And actually really lay them down. Don’t nag, talk about or do them. Just say, “I can’t handle this anymore. It’s beyond my ability and the amount of time I have”. I would assumed you thought, “oh my husband won’t ge… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/04/22 07:31 PM |
| 3 | Underwear GameI signed up for a box from adore me. I haven’t gotten it yet so I can’t say if it’s any good lol. | /r/RedPillWives | 24/04/22 10:52 AM |
| 1 | How to cut my hair to *exude* femininityI think it really depends on the style and how you wear it. | /r/RedPillWives | 23/04/22 08:28 PM |
| 21 | My doctor just discouraged me from having another childUh, what? I thought I would open this and see a health problem and it’s a doctor just discouraging you because he thinks it’s too much to handle?! I have 4 kids. Yes, when I took my kids to the doctor with my I would seem stressed and worn out lol. Taking 2 toddlers to the doctor is tough. Then when I have all 4? I seemed frazzled. I love having 4! I am part of a homeschool group where, until this year, my family was small! My friend has 12 (yes, twelve) kids. She is honestly one of the least st… | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/04/22 06:45 PM |
| 2 | What is this behavior called?I would say overall he probably felt disrespected and with how fast he turned like that it is probably a pattern. | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/04/22 06:33 PM |
| 4 | What is this behavior called?Do you make more than he does? | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/04/22 05:01 PM |
| 2 | What is this behavior called?I think the first thing was picking on his luggage choice. He may be frugal or trying to be frugal or worries about finances. I would bet that’s where he started getting upset about what you said later. Or he just felt disrespected overall by the way you treated his choice in luggage. Like a “well I appreciate how you handle your money by buying the less expensive one” might have gone over better than pushing your choice. Also the defensiveness on your end (warranted or not) pushed things furthe… | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/04/22 04:55 PM |
| 3 | Inspiring my husband’s confidence?Yeah I think I just have to remember it in the moment :). But yes I think just asking him what he is looking for and help him talk it through versus giving an outright answer is probably the way to go. | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/04/22 09:51 PM |
| 3 | Inspiring my husband’s confidence?Thanks! :) This is very much my point. I’m stepping back and allowing him to lead. If I tell him how to lead, it becomes me stepping into the lead again and totally not helpful. That’s very blue pilling advice to just tell him, “don’t ask me”. I care that he wants my opinion. But I’m not worried about giving it. I can also see that in the end he already has the stronger opinion and I trust him since he knows far more than I do. | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/04/22 09:42 PM |
| 20 | Johnny Depp’s reaction to the court finally getting to hear the audio tape in which Amber Heard admits to abusing him - "I did not punch you, I was hitting you." - "Grow the F%$# up, Johnny."I’ve seen some Facebook comments that sound like the commenters finally have to admit that he was abused. Instead of outright saying that, many comments were along the lines of, “well it was unhealthy and they abused each other”. I imagine it wouldn’t be seen that way in any other case if a woman was saying she was abused. | /r/MensRights | 21/04/22 09:30 PM |
| 8 | What's a good balance between doing what you want and what your boyfriend wants?You are both young and figuring out what you like and don’t like. Being in a serious relationship can hinder that because you want to do things you like and he doesn’t (as you stated) Boyfriend vs husband benefits… my husband has say over my appearance. For example I said I though a small nose piercing is pretty, he disagreed (but said “it’s your body” - I didn’t get it because I want to be attractive for him - he has to look at me). If he were my boyfriend, he wouldn’t have as much say. But the… | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/04/22 01:55 PM |
| 6 | Questioning feminist seeks adviceHave you watched The Red Pill documentary. It isn’t really red pill, but more men’s rights. That was eye opening and I refuse to call myself a feminist after watching that. | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/04/22 08:02 PM |
| 3 | What to do when your husband prefer things you don’t have?I see this in a couple of ways. 1) being submissive for me means that as long as he isn’t asking me to do something immoral or harmful to myself, I’m willing to change it. Submission to me is even in areas I don’t want to change (otherwise it would not actually be submission). However as you stated - he isn’t asking you to change it. So it’s something to pretend you never asked about. And don’t ask again lol. 2) he married you that’s the important thing. If he wanted someone/something else then … | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/04/22 12:02 PM |
| 1 | What's the line between being dominant/leading and abusive?I read your reply and will address some of those things along with your initial question. I think being concerned is really good. That’s why this sub is always stressing the vetting process. Not all men are worthy of being submitted to and we shouldn’t marry those guys. The important thing is to weed those out before marriage (because IMO submission is important after marriage regardless of the guy barring any abuse which is not okay). Okay so on to the more specific questions (and let me know i… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/04/22 10:25 AM |
| 2 | How do you get back to *feeling* like things in your relationship are ok?I was thinking about you today! How have things been? | /r/RedPillWives | 18/04/22 02:34 AM |
| 7 | What to do when your husband prefer things you don’t have?Personally I do try to do hairstyles that my husband likes. He keeps his face scruffy because he knows I like it. But it isn’t necessary if you really don’t want to cut your hair. Since you found out he likes chubbier women indirectly, I would try and let it go. As long as he isn’t straying and he is attracted to you, it’s better just leaving it alone. | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/04/22 08:39 PM |
| 1 | Help with emotionsThank you for this thoughtful reply. I’ve been really doing that work on myself. We’ve had some tough conversations since i made this post that helped somewhat. But also I’ve had to deal with getting comfortable with being uncomfortable sometimes. He said he has been very bitter toward me. And I called him out on it. That at some point or another he has to either figure that out and forgive me or stop expecting me to stay open toward him. Also as Christians I pointed to the examples in the Bible… | /r/RedPillWives | 16/04/22 05:49 PM |
| 3 | what’s the line between assertiveness and abuse?There being a history of abuse, maybe he doesn’t understand the line and so accuses you of abuse? Of course once again you’ve only heard his side - so who knows who initiates the abuse. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/04/22 12:12 PM |
| 17 | What is one way your partner lets you know he treasures you?I love this. And I want to try your cooking now :) My husband is very generous. He goes above and beyond for me. I took it for granted for a little while, unfortunately. He works very hard and long hours so I can have a flexible work schedule (I used to not work at all). He takes care of most of the home and car maintenance. He worked very hard so I could go to massage school and his income (which he always says is ours) paid for me to go. And when I had to study or practice he took care of the … | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/04/22 11:51 AM |
| 3 | what’s the line between assertiveness and abuse?I can’t say if you’re being abusive or not. But the cycle here isn’t healthy. Let’s say you are being abusive (for arguments sake). Why should he stay and perpetuate the cycle? If he was assertive and strong, he would set a boundary and firmly say, “you can’t speak to me that way” (not STFU). And then if you continued to behave in an abusive way, he should walk away. I’m not there to say what you are or aren’t doing. So I can’t make a judgement. But overall it doesn’t sound anything like a good … | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/04/22 06:35 PM |
| 50 | what’s the line between assertiveness and abuse?That isn’t assertiveness. Assertiveness is being firm in your stance and principles not having to berate other people to comply. Telling someone to shut the fuck up, is not being assertive. You asked for examples of how other husband’s behave when they’re angry. We’ve had a lot of arguments over the last few years (not as bad in the last year), but my husband and never told me to shut the fuck up. He’s told me to stop talking so we can breath and come back later. He’s told me to stop so we can s… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/04/22 04:36 PM |
| 1 | Help with emotionsWe’ve been working on a lot of things. He finally was truthful that he was incredibly angry and bitter about certain issues. | /r/RedPillWives | 14/04/22 07:51 PM |
| 1 | How do you get back to *feeling* like things in your relationship are ok?Oh that’s so hard :(. I’ve definitely been there. Hang in there ❤️ | /r/RedPillWives | 14/04/22 04:21 PM |
| 1 | How do you get back to *feeling* like things in your relationship are ok?How is your husband responding if you try to be playful with him? | /r/RedPillWives | 14/04/22 02:58 PM |
| 8 | How do you get back to *feeling* like things in your relationship are ok?Being in a situation similar, but lasted months- years. I had to separate and compartmentalize. My relationship with my kids as their mom needs to be separate from my relationship with my husband. Yes, sometimes I had to fake it, sometimes poorly. In my marriage, especially as of late. I’ve had to be honest with my real emotions. And to do that I had to dig down deep and figure out why I felt a certain way. Then approach my husband with it. I’ve also learned to be okay with an issue not being se… | /r/RedPillWives | 14/04/22 02:48 PM |
| 9 | How to stop getting complacent in my relationshipI had this issue in my marriage. I could go for weeks doing all the right things and then I’d start to let my guard down and go back to my old ways (nagging, being disrespectful, etc). A lot of the changes I’ve seen in myself in the last year or so have come from deeply understanding how wrong I was in the past. I started to see how hurtful I could be and saw it from him point of view. For a long time my desire to change came from selfishness. If I do these things, then he will respond and do th… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/04/22 12:52 PM |
| 1 | Hypocrites, how do they expect to be taken seriously?I’m a woman, he attracted me lol. But I’ve got some very masculine personality traits (according to his personality test) so maybe that’s why. | /r/MensRights | 13/04/22 09:29 PM |
| 15 | Guidance on relationship & his female friend - any advice appreciated!So you don’t get to have it both ways. You accept that this is who you have or you move on. If these things bother you NOW. Just wait until things get tough and those things aren’t minor annoyances anymore, they’re full blown issues. | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/04/22 01:18 PM |
| 1 | safe youtube channels for kids and teensThis is what we do with our kids. Our goal is to teach logic and critical thinking so that eventually they can make up their own minds about things. We laid a foundation when they were little. Now that we have a 12 year old - we just listen to the news and podcasts and whatnot and have discussions about them. He loves debate so it’s fun having those conversations. | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/04/22 03:08 AM |
| 4 | Unreliable > ReliableI had this issue for a long time. I have ended up taking meds for ADHD (I was frustrated with personal goals as well - like losing weight and just sticking with things). All the checklists and everything just didn’t help until I got counseling and meds. Not saying that’s what you need by any stretch - just putting it out there :) And while I’ve made a 180 degree turn from how I used to be, my husband doesn’t quite trust me yet. And he’s still got some residual bitterness/anger about certain thin… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/04/22 02:54 AM |
| 1 | Nagging is abuseAs a wife, I try very, very hard not to nag. I think a lot of it tends to come down also what is considered nagging. Many women think they’re being helpful, when in reality it isn’t helpful at all and it comes across as nagging. My husband is irritated with the way my sisters and mom talk and “help”. He would see it as nagging - I see it as my mom or sisters being helpful in a way. Like when my mom calls again to see if I took care of something I keep forgetting. I’m like, “oh she remembered tha… | /r/MensRights | 12/04/22 01:35 AM |
| 4 | Help Needed with Addressing His HealthSomeone here recommended a podcast that has helped immensely. I will pass it along - We Only Look Thin. And the last two episodes are how to lose weight when your spouse isn’t (and maybe even actively sabotaging your efforts). It’s really great information. At the end of the day you can’t change him at all. There’s a Bible verse that I’m taking wildly out of context but I think it shows what affect we women can have on our husbands: Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even … | /r/RedPillWives | 10/04/22 11:03 PM |
| 9 | Pregnancy positivity - where to find it?For positive birth stories: Ina May Gaskin’s books The Business of Being Born (the first one can be a little dark so avoid if you don’t want to hear horror stories), but the second one they made has lots of great birth stories that are positive. As for books that celebrate motherhood I really love the book Theology of Home II. It’s a Catholic book (which I’m not), but I love it. Politely change the topic when people want to inundate you with horror stories and who has the worse one. I think tell… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/04/22 12:17 AM |
| 9 | How to balance relationships and friendshipsWhen you get into a serious relationship, that takes priority. If it’s casual, that’s different. In the first scenario it sounds like you made plans with him, but didn’t clarify it with him before you went with friends. That’s rude no matter who it is (bf or friends or whatever). Calling him to check on what was happening would have been the best course of action. And I agree with another reply that said you need to make concrete plans with him. Not just, “hey maybe one day next week I want to h… | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/04/22 10:35 PM |
| 3 | Is it a red flag if my guy does not offer to help me when I’m sick?My husband and I have very different reactions to being sick. He wants to sleep and not have be around at all. I want to nurture him and take care of him. But he is like, “nope - leave me alone”. Of course that’s what I want when I am sick - to be taken care of. He just figures I want to be left alone . He gets a little flustered if I ask him for things. Is it a red flag? Not necessarily. Probably just a different way of handling things. | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/04/22 11:44 AM |
| 2 | What careers/jobs should women have before hopefully being SAHW/SAHM?It depends. I have friends who have been MTs for 15+ years. I think there are a lot of factors that go into making it last though. Most spas/chains are terrible and burn a lot of people out for sure. | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/04/22 11:37 AM |
| 10 | What careers/jobs should women have before hopefully being SAHW/SAHM?I am a massage therapist. Schooling was affordable and I made back in one year what I paid for it. Downsides- most jobs don’t offer benefits. | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/04/22 01:14 AM |
| 10 | First trimester and exhaustionYour body is doing such incredible things! Your blood volume is like doubling (I always thought that was the coolest thing). Of course you are tired. The best thing to do is sleep. Seriously. Figure out how to manage things with a slightly lower standard. You may have to use paper plates for a month or two. Or eat out more often if possible. Take care of yourself! Make sure your staying nice and hydrated and eating well. If you can manage some prenatal yoga or gentle stretching or even a short w… | /r/RedPillWives | 07/04/22 11:03 PM |
| 13 | Interreligious datingI would avoid it. The Bible warns against it. It seems wonderful now. But when you introduce the idea of marriage - which customs do you choose? Who gives up what? Then when it comes to raising children - that becomes the really hard part. One benefit of being married to a Christian man is that we pray together, read the Bible together, hold each other accountable, get to participate in church together as a family. | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/04/22 04:31 PM |
| 21 | What to do if your husband doesn’t want to take you on holiday with him?Honestly, this would be an argument in my house if my husband was doing this. My husband has told me that he doesn’t want a doormat and that I should push back in things if they really are unfair (this conversation was in the context of pornography, but I think it could apply to anything). I would say that he isn’t doing his duty as a husband to put his marriage before anyone else, including his family. You are now his family and that means vacations are with family. If he doesn’t want to be an … | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/04/22 03:39 PM |
| 4 | Faith based or spiritual weight loss?I pray a lot about weight loss and dealing with those urges to binge. Can’t figure out if it has helped or not. I’m not sure if you’re Christian or just sort of generally Christian, but I’ve found confession to be very grounding. Not a formal confession to anyone, but just in prayer telling God my sins that I did today (gluttony being one of them, but others as well). And asking for forgiveness. If you are a Christian then I’d like you to consider that you are forgiven then if you confess. So no… | /r/RedPillWives | 04/04/22 01:33 PM |
| 5 | Insecure and smothering!Do you have any friends? I ask because this was very much me when my husband and I first married. He didn’t work those hours (although he did have a stretch where he was working 2 jobs and then long hours at his primary job). When we were first married he had martial arts and then would want to go hang out with his brothers sometimes (not always - but sometimes). I didn’t have any friends or family nearby so I became very clingy. If he was gone a moment longer than he said, I would get angry wit… | /r/RedPillWives | 04/04/22 01:21 PM |
| 7 | How To Deal With Not Being What He Wants?He could talk about some of those things in a much different way. First of all, why mention your height at all? It’s not something you can change. If he were like, “I wonder how you’d look blonde?” That’s one thing because you can change it. You can’t change how tall you are. So he’s just being downright mean. Also in regards to sex and being critical/. That’s just an asshole move (sorry). He could definitely talk to you about it, but say - “I like when you do this. Could you do that more?” Bein… | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/03/22 10:00 PM |
| 2 | Hiring Cleaning Services?Hiring extra help is fine. It’s also good for kids to learn chores. My kids get a little candy when their chores are done. Helps keep them motivated. They also get some money at the end of the week. They also can’t do other things until chores are done (like play video games). | /r/RedPillWives | 30/03/22 11:15 AM |
| 1 | Help with emotionsI’ve addressed all of those areas over the last few year within myself. I’ve begun working out regularly on the last 6 months. Changed my diet. He keeps telling me it isn’t my physical body. And honestly I believe him. I’ve been through 4 pregnancies at varying weights and gotten heavier with each one (and lost some and gained some). He always wanted sex. I’m not holding onto my losing weight changing anything because I will be incredibly angry when his sex drive doesn’t change after i put in al… | /r/RedPillWives | 30/03/22 11:11 AM |
| 2 | Help with emotionsThanks ❤️ It does help to know I’m not alone. I’m trying to focus more on the positives and know I won’t get everything exactly the way I want it to be. | /r/RedPillWives | 29/03/22 06:01 PM |
| 1 | Help with emotionsThanks. I’ll look that up for sure. | /r/RedPillWives | 29/03/22 04:03 PM |
| 2 | Help with emotionsI totally get what you’re saying. But when I do talk about it more evenly he responds with, “this is why we don’t have sex more often”. And says we are rebuilding things so I need to essentially just get over it. Of course my take is that sex would help us rebuild things as it would bring us closer. I think he more or less takes it as an attack when I bring it up. I believe he feels guilty about it, but doesn’t know what else to do. I think in some ways the having sex the day or two after (unfor… | /r/RedPillWives | 29/03/22 04:03 PM |
| 9 | Rant: I’m so tired of the glorification of hot mess mom lifeI had a little bouncy seat I’d set in the bathroom with me. Or I’d do it while they were napping :). Wasn’t long showers. Just enough to not stink. | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/03/22 01:39 PM |
| 13 | Rant: I’m so tired of the glorification of hot mess mom lifeThere’s unfortunately been a trend (I believe mostly on tik tok) where moms do things that are really just mean toward their kids. Like one I saw on a YouTube video critiquing the whole thing - was a mom that wrote “you really piss me off” in tater tots, to give to her non reading son. I think there’s just, what I’ve hear it referred to, toxic mommy culture. And it gets celebrated by some on social media. | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/03/22 08:58 AM |
| 11 | Rant: I’m so tired of the glorification of hot mess mom lifeI’ve got 4 kids and I totally agree. I never understood the idea of not showering for days? With all my newborns I still showered daily. I’m messy so I tend to have a messy house, but that’s unrelated to kids. And being worked on (which I’m incredibly proud of). | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/03/22 08:56 AM |
| 1 | Any suggestions?Take Charge of Your Fertility is a good one. Also this one is good: ROAR: How to Match Your Food and Fitness to Your Unique Female Physiology for Optimum Performance, Great Health, and a Strong, Lean Body for Life | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/03/22 02:13 AM |
| 7 | Men marry out of love or convenienceThat “wildly in love” feeling fades. Especially when hardships befall your (which make no mistake they will). The fact that both my husband and I value the vows we made to each other is what held us together. Not the feeling we had when we were dating 10 years ago. The idea of love also evolves the longer a couple is together. It grows down deep and develops roots. But it isn’t a romantic, feeling type of love necessarily. The emotions come and go. But 2 am wake ups with a kid vomiting after a w… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/03/22 03:25 PM |
| 29 | Needing AdviceFor me, cheating is a deal breaker. Especially if I weren’t married. I can understand trying to work through things for the sake of saving a marriage or for kids. If you want to keep moving forward with him, I think it comes down to forgiveness. Really forgiving him means you leave it in the past. There can be accountability there to build trust which is different. | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/03/22 11:44 AM |
| 8 | Patience with different love languages aka 'the STFU rule in practice'I read something yesterday that really resonated with me. If we are constantly looking for happiness in the way our husband loves us, even when he does - it won’t be enough. We will have the expectation and then be let down because it doesn’t “fill us up” they way we hoped. I think this is such a good reminder of that. Finding those little things (and big things) that may not be exactly what we are expecting - but when we don’t have to demand our own way, it’s so much sweeter 😊 | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/03/22 11:38 AM |
| 2 | What does an average day or week of your relationship look like?Married 15 years; 4 kids I work every other weekend and Wednesdays and Friday evenings. I homeschool 2 of the kids and the girls are in a twice a month (sometimes more) scout type program. So with that out of the way: we have a standing breakfast date the Saturdays I have off. We try to spend most evenings together even if it’s literally like 5 minutes on the couch or he’s playing a video game and I’m reading or just looking at YouTube videos next to each other. Obviously that doesn’t happen eve… | /r/RedPillWives | 23/03/22 06:32 PM |
| 5 | Enthusiasm before sexI agree with using hands and mouth and finding intimacy in other ways. But when I’ve brought it up to my husband that I ought to be having sex with him more often (when we had babies - our youngest is now 5), he said if all he wanted in marriage was a sex partner, it would be easier to just get a prostitute. But that there’s more to marriage than just sex. My husband and I have mismatched libidios. His was higher when we were first married (and once I understood what it meant to him I worked tow… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/03/22 04:05 PM |
| 17 | Enthusiasm before sexI think there’s a couple of things I would figure out one your own and with him. For example you won’t be able to have sex for at least 6 weeks after the baby is born. And if you’re nursing and I assume doing night duty - how is he going to “cope” without sex? If he can’t manage going one day, how will be manage for nearly 2 months? That’s assuming you don’t have any complications in your third trimester that make having sex a no-go. 6 weeks is best case scenario. And not daily sex is NOT suffer… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/03/22 02:29 PM |
| 2 | What are your thoughts on swingersWhat do I think of someone else that’s swinging? I don’t care, but I think it’s strange. As a Christian? I believe it’s sinning. But it if the couple isn’t Christian, well that’s a big theological conversation. | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/03/22 06:25 PM |
| 5 | Tips on dressing for conservative women who look better naked or in skin tight clothing?Wear fitting clothing that isn’t baggy. It doesn’t need to be skin tight, just accentuate the parts that look better. If you have great calves, wear skirts that show them off and a shirt that is fitted not baggy. | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/03/22 01:09 PM |
| 24 | Stress with pregnancy and the risk of nuclear warI suggest you tell your partner you can’t handle hearing the news like this constantly. It’s his duty to protect you and this baby - turning off the radio is one way to do that. I remember with all the pandemic panic at the start of it. My husband had to do the same for me. I have 4 kids and I understand the worry. Sometimes I have to just stop listening and watching. I keep trying to keep the what ifs and the worst case scenarios out of my head. Because really in the end I can’t change the . I … | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/02/22 10:25 AM |
| 6 | I don't know how to differentiate communicating my needs and recognizing neglectI’ve been married for 15 years. Men seriously don’t know many of these things. Last night, after a very long and emotionally draining day, my husband could see that something was wrong, but he doesn’t know what I need. I had to say, “I just would like to sit next to you on the couch with your arm around me and watch a movie”. One issue we had in the past is that he would respond the “wrong” way and I’d be upset. So he would stop trying entirely. Which also was “wrong” and I would be upset. Now a… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/02/22 07:07 PM |
| 5 | depression is getting in the way of my goalsI second this. He has helped me so much. | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/02/22 09:12 PM |
| 5 | my boyfriend told me that I wasn’t enough for himThere’s a pastor I follow on Facebook who discussed this issue. He counsels many women who say, “but my husband/boyfriend says he loves me!” But his actions don’t bear out. His actions speak louder than words. And then of course he sees the opposite - women who say - my husband won’t tell me he loves me! But he works hard to provide for her and the kids, makes sure the cars are running and the house maintenance is taken care of and shows affection in other ways. But because he won’t say “I love … | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/02/22 03:35 PM |
| 11 | How to stay motivated as a sahm?Sounds like you really need to prioritize your self. Do other moms get their kids out in the cold in your area? Maybe you could ask for advice? I found my kids do so much better when I get them outside even for a few minutes. Even for just a short walk. Even if you just spend a few minutes a day doing something to feel refreshed - lighting a candle, putting on music, reading a book you love- those would all be great things for self care. This is a book that really helped me when I was feeling si… | /r/RedPillWives | 18/02/22 06:09 PM |
| 14 | How to stay motivated as a sahm?It sounds to me like you need some self-care and some time outside of the house! I’ve been here many times over the years and I get it. I’m usually feeling burned out from lack of connections with other people and not putting enough time into myself. | /r/RedPillWives | 18/02/22 03:55 PM |
| 4 | What can wives do to encourage spending quality time with their husband?The first thing I would ask myself is how have I changed in that time from being connected and not. Perhaps address any areas where you can (because you can only change you!). Perhaps your being alone all the time creates a void that is overwhelming for him to fill? I know I did that in the early days of my marriage. I moved to be where my husband was and left friends and family behind. I felt so lonely and I expected him to manage that. It was a huge burden that he just couldn’t shoulder. It ca… | /r/RedPillWives | 18/02/22 06:34 AM |
| 5 | What can wives do to encourage spending quality time with their husband?In many ways the best thing to do - is to go for the walk and invite him along. That is almost always what I have to do with my husband. Set a day for grocery shopping and ask - is this day and time okay for you to come with me to the store? I also will just hang out with my husband while he is doing his thing. Like he’s playing a video game and I sit with him and read. | /r/RedPillWives | 18/02/22 12:22 AM |
| 3 | Is being in the medical field an obstacle to a healthy love life ?A lot of great points already, but I’m not sure I’ve seen the discussion on school debt. I don’t know how you’re paying for school. But a husband isn’t going to want to take on a wife and her debt. Especially if at some point you decide you just want to stay home. That won’t be an option. I worked in a pharmacy and had a lot of grief from a female pharmacist about my wanting to stay home once my first was born. And she said she didn’t work that hard in school to “just stay home” and she couldn’t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/02/22 05:01 PM |
| 2 | Is it possible for one of us to be healthy while the other is terribly unhealthy?I’m in the process of losing weight. My husband doesn’t need to lose anything but he’s not terribly healthy. I’ve waited a long time for him to be on the same page as me - if I’m giving up sugar than he should too! And if he didn’t then I would use that as an excuse to give up. The things I’ve been realizing is my path is my own path and in the end im responsible for what im doing or not doing with my body. I make lower cal meals for myself that can have other things added to them. For example -… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/02/22 01:49 PM |
| 12 | How to stop bickering in relationship?I’ve found the best cure is to stop talking. I can’t make my husband not bicker, but I can choose not to. Eventually he takes the cue and there’s peace. We’ve gone through periods of struggling with this and that’s really the only thing that ends it. | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/02/22 03:22 AM |
| 1 | Desperately need advice! *Long story*Then he isn’t a decent guy and you need to be honest with yourself. It can’t be both. Either he is a good guy and willing to fight this hard for. Or he isn’t. | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/02/22 07:52 PM |
| 5 | Desperately need advice! *Long story*I have a difficult marriage. This is not coming from a place of being mean. And I know you are fighting for your marriage. So I hope you hear me because that’s where I am coming from. I hate divorce. Yes it can be a necessary evil. But I believe nearly any marriage is redeemable. FYI: most marriage counseling is terrible. You can’t change him. You can’t. Blaming your masculinity on his lack of leadership is a cop out. Even if that’s why you married him (because he balanced you out) - you still d… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/02/22 07:10 PM |
| 2 | Desperately need advice! *Long story*How much have you done to fix your part? For example have you read Laura Doyle’s book The Empowered Wife and done the things she says? My main question would be is he a good, decent, honest man? I ask this because if he is decent and overall honest - is there a reason that he would break a promise to you (and essentially lie). Are you a person he would want to spend his time with, for example? I understand that sounds harsh, but it’s taking a very hard look at yourself and seeing what you contri… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/02/22 06:45 PM |
| 5 | Desperately need advice! *Long story*Much if what I’m hearing is everything that’s wrong with him and one thing you do to contribute. I imagine there’s a lot of resentment towards him in the way you’re talking about him here. May I ask, what drew you to him to begin with? You’ve also mentioned broken promises and betrayals. What is the severity of those betrayals (like spending more than agreed on or like infidelity level?) | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/02/22 06:15 PM |
| 5 | Hi, I'd like to ask if there's any course you did in how to manage family finances?Dave Ramsey is a good resource. He’s controversial, but his basic budgeting info is good. I’ve heard his investing advice is not great, but I don’t really know about that to be honest. | /r/RedPillWives | 09/02/22 04:39 PM |
| 118 | Supporting bf through unemployment - how long to wait for balance?Wait. Wait…. He doesn’t have a job and he dropped out of school, but he thinks he is an HVM? That is laughable (and sad for you). He’s pulled the wool over your eyes. | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/02/22 08:22 PM |
| 16 | I don't want more children with my unhealthy husband?You aren’t being stupid. At all. I can totally understand your concerns. I would sit him down and explain all of this. Tell him how scared you are of losing him to diabetes since he won’t do much about it. Offer to do things with him (like cooking together or taking walks together after dinner). But under no circumstances will you have more children because you know that he is unable to care for them because of his health and because you want your children to have their dad around. I also sugges… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/02/22 08:26 PM |
| 1 | Submission vs having an opinionI specifically said that I was concerned that I wasn’t seeing it from the correct perspective and agreed with a reply that I was overly emotional when I made the post. I also addressed the cause of his concern. I’m asking to advice on what submission is versus where and when I should assert my opinion. And I was using this particular context to address the issue we have had as a couple. I posted this here particularly because the honesty and not just bowing to the feminist ideology typical in mo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/01/22 12:57 AM |
| 3 | Submission vs having an opinionOh goodness, gracious I wish he trusted my judgment. Just hearing that makes me tear up slightly… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/01/22 11:26 PM |
| 3 | Submission vs having an opinionThank you for your input. I personally agree with this, he does not. I was 100% stay at home mom for about 10 years. I’ve been working slightly part time for the last 5 (I do the majority of child care though). His thing with me running it past him is budget related and then discussing the gloves came up. It was one thing when it was hovering around 40 degrees and teaching a lesson versus -5 windchill…. | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/01/22 11:25 PM |
| 2 | Submission vs having an opinionI’ve been argumentative in the past (as I mentioned above I was a little emotional and I’m glad you guys/gals pointed that out). That’s partly why I struggle with the “line”. We had a discussion last night where I said I don’t particularly like how bossy he’s become (he’s not super nice about it either). He said he’s let me get my way for too long and he is “pushing back”. But I haven’t been like that I quite a long time. The last few years I’ve been working on this and I say “whatever you think… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/01/22 11:22 PM |
| 3 | Submission vs having an opinionMaybe when we were first married I would be more pushy. The last 3-4 years I let him “win” 80% of the time, absolutely no question. Just an “OK”. Other times I’ll ask him why or offer an opinion. Very rarely will I really push back anymore (like in this situation). I understand what you mean by context. I was frustrated in the parking lot after this discussion and worried about what I’d face at home. I was very biased and emotional. I | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/01/22 11:18 PM |
| 14 | One word compliments: accept or ask for more?Have you tried Laura Doyle’s “ouch”. Like maybe when he replies negatively, respond with “ouch”. I think the best way however to view things like this when dating is to imagine it long term: if you have children will be be constantly negative toward your parenting style? What will he say if you’re body changes during the aging process or pregnancy? How many years will you cry and be upset because he picks out all the negative things? Some of it may be unintentional and he thinks he’s doing a goo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/01/22 06:24 PM |
| 2 | Sometimes good men give bad gifts.Oh my gosh - that’s too funny. As an aside - I havealways killed plants. I’ve managed to keep 2 orchids alive for the last couple of years (and they rebloomed). I totally give them tap water. I water every week or every other week. I just soak them through, but make sure they drains. I go by how their roots look! And my one at home has a special window that it loves (it got sad when I moved it away from there). I’ve killed probably 5-6 orchid prior to this lol. | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/01/22 12:30 AM |
| 16 | Sometimes good men give bad gifts.I love giving gifts. I love getting gifts. My husband likes neither. I’ve taken to just sending him a list of things that I would like (more like the category of things). However I sent him my list AFTER he purchased my gift. Surprise. Surprise he got me something from the list! I learned long, long ago however to stop holding onto this idea that he needed to get me the perfect gift or he didn’t care about me. I focused on his actions toward me and our kids. If they’ve been dating 6 months she h… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/01/22 07:44 PM |
| 5 | Who you belong to - discussionWe belong to each other. (“I am my beloved’s and he is mine”) Our kids are ours. We look at most things we own as belonging to both of us. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/01/22 10:52 PM |
| 3 | How do you deal with clinginess in your relationships?Yes. That might. I’d also suggest hobbies and friends :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/01/22 05:43 PM |
| 2 | How do you deal with clinginess in your relationships?Yes - I’ve been there. The best thing to start with is distraction for the immediate clinginess Typically once you start doing that you’ll figure out why you’re being so clingy :) Basically - just stop doing it and find other things to do in the meantime. Then work on what comes up in your psyche. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/01/22 05:24 PM |
| 37 | Different sex drives, possibly something elseThis may come across as a bit mean… I don’t understand why so many of these posts are women who are dating a guy for a few months and are totally incompatible, but you’re trying to fix him. This is exactly what dating is for! You figure out the crap that shows you wouldn’t work out. Is this guy worth this stress when you’ve been dating for, what? 3 months? That’s not a long term commitment. He’s weird about sex. That’s how he is. If you want this long term - go for it. But it isn’t going to chan… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/01/22 10:05 PM |
| 9 | Sex before marriage, waiting after having sexI think it’s good that you’re stepping back and seeing these issues before marriage. My husband and I chose not to have sex before marriage - we had to not be alone together because the temptation was just too high. We went out on dates - bowling, hiking, dinner/lunch dates, etc. | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/01/22 01:39 PM |
| 12 | How do I inspire appreciation?I like the joking of possible as well. My husband got caught up in listening to a lot of those guys (especially the fit and fresh podcast). He was getting seriously angry and it didn’t help our already struggling marriage. One thing I did was tell him straight out that I personally didn’t want to hear the podcast. Kevin samuels isn’t too bad. But some of the other ones talk so disrespectful toward women I didn’t want to hear it. I would leave the room if he had it on where I could hear it (like … | /r/RedPillWives | 20/01/22 08:39 PM |
| -6 | I earn a bit of money for engagement and plan to spend it on myselfIf you have joint accounts and you’re married - most big decisions need to be agreed upon. My husband and I view all money made as “ours” and we don’t make big purchases without it being something we both agree to. That includes money I made. It gets put into the joint account. I think the question shouldn’t be “am I selfish or is he controlling?”. The question should be - how does money management work for your relationship and how do you agree on purchases. How much say do you have on his inco… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/01/22 02:40 PM |
| 14 | He Desired a Traditional Relationship All AlongI forget how relatively young I was when I got married. Then I read this and I’m like, “oh yeah - 22 and 21 was really pretty young!”. I’m glad you found someone that has the same values as you. His age doesn’t automatically discount it (my husband was the same way and he was 21). | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/01/22 11:25 AM |
| 10 | Do you keep ANYTHING from your S/O, at all?I’m open with anything that he asks about. There are somethings he wants me to keep to myself to keep the “mystique” alive. | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/01/22 07:03 PM |
| 2 | My wife lets me fuck her even if she isn’t in the mood.It’s common. Most guys don’t typically like it. My husband told me he’d rather have sex weekly or less if I just lay there. The other side (which might be what’s happening?) is a lot of women don’t have a libido necessarily. They get in the mood once started. I can go from totally not interested into hottest sex ever in like 5 minutes. But yeah if I’m sick, my husband doesn’t really ask for sex (not that he wants to anyway lately). | /r/RedPillWives | 07/01/22 09:05 PM |
| 29 | How to help boyfriend and understand his behavior during hardshipHonestly I would say (sorry, but) you’re seriously overthinking this. Deal with your guilt. He doesn’t blame you. He made the choice to come and get you even with a warning. Yes crappy things happen. New Year’s was 4 days ago. Stop overthinking the sex thing. Let him find a car himself. Dont nag and try to be “helpful”. | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/01/22 06:13 PM |
| 1 | Not being a “normal” girlIf you are going to a large school, I can almost guarantee you there are others like you. It may take some time but you’ll have to seek them out and find friends with similar values. I haven’t been to college and I don’t know anything about the culture lol. So someone else more knowledgeable would have to point you in the direction to look. But you aren’t alone. | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/12/21 03:31 PM |
| 1 | Not being a “normal” girlI suppose my question would be is that a lifestyle that actually interests you or do you just feel like you aren’t a part of something? I think realizing that the “grass is always greener” is a good thing. There are pros and cons to each way of life. I never partied and got married/pregnant fairly young. I don’t regret not living that life of partying when young. Friends of mine that did party have more regrets than I do to be honest. | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/12/21 03:24 PM |
| 1 | Is this an overreaction?It’s been really difficult because I’ve done all those things (to the extent that I can with 4 kids in the house) and he doesn’t respond. He has even told me that he isn’t interested when I’m doing those things. OR he’ll do the half-assed attempt I described. My lame attempt at continuing our sex life without being rejected constantly, is just asking, “is this something I should pursue tonight?” Because I don’t want to put on the lingerie if once again he rolls over and goes to sleep because he … | /r/RedPillWives | 28/12/21 05:33 PM |
| 4 | Should you go into extensive details about your dating history with your BF?Yeah the very most I would say is something like, “I’ve never felt so safe with someone before” or “this is absolutely the most amazing sex I’ve ever experienced. I never knew it could be this good”. But I would say no specifics. On emotions or physical. | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/12/21 09:38 PM |
| 4 | Should you go into extensive details about your dating history with your BF?Oh goodness no. IF he asks you tell the number. That’s it. I was upfront with my husband because he said he had wanted to wait until marriage to have sex. I said that I wasn’t a virgin and I told him a little bit about that relationship when it came up (he was a huge douche canoe and borderline abusive which is what I told him about). The only other thing i ever mentioned is that I had never orgasmed previous to being with him. Those other things mentioned almost feel like you’re trolling becaus… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/12/21 09:16 PM |
| 7 | Partner swears when we argueIf my husband told me to get out - I would leave and stay gone 🤷🏻♀️. To me that’s a line crossed. Also being engaged and already having DB and having poly brought up - those would all be deal breakers for me considering you aren’t married. If you were already married my thoughts on it would be very different. I don’t like to jump to “break up” especially since that’s frowned upon here. But sorry that doesn’t seem like a good person to build a future with. | /r/RedPillWives | 19/12/21 09:14 PM |
| 1 | All about houseworkThere’s a program and Facebook group that really helped me (not sure your kids ages) called Freedom Mom. She’s got a course on getting your kids to clean - it helped us a lot! | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/12/21 12:58 AM |
| 2 | All about houseworkI work part time, have 4 kids, homeschool two of them. I roll parenting into housework because they do a lot of chores now (taking out garbage, doing dishes, etc). I spend probably 1-2 hr a day on meal prep/clean up, .5 hr on laundry (every few days), tidying is a half hour a day or so, my husband handles the bigger clean up jobs on the weekend. | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/12/21 09:11 PM |
| 8 | Debating ending it with my fiancée, utterly lost.First you need a different therapist. My therapist said it’s an absolute conflict of interest to have the same therapist (unless it’s couple therapy) and it’s absolutely unprofessional to have therapist charge you and see you socially. | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/12/21 08:22 PM |
| 10 | Debating ending it with my fiancée, utterly lost.I’d like to ask you to reframe it. His behavior isn’t good for anyone. No one should be treated like that. Period. Feeing disrespected on his end may be the case. But throwing things, name calling, destroying things? That’s scary. That’s not being incompatible. That’s being abused. Im on the side of taking ownership of your own shit. But you can’t own someone abusing you - that’s his problem. You are young. I would suggest not settling for someone you are scared of. Having problems like this bef… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/12/21 02:32 PM |
| 1 | Is this an overreaction?Don’t know. He refuses to get it checked. No, he doesn’t lift regularly. | /r/RedPillWives | 17/12/21 11:28 AM |
| 1 | Wearing hair downHair falling out just happens. It’s related to hormones so if you had a baby you probably are losing lots more than usual. You’ll lose hair whether you pull it back or not. Sometimes loose hairs can get around baby’s fingers or toes (that’s happened to me at least). So that’s up to you. You can try and brush your hair out in the shower and see if that makes a difference. I’m weird and just can’t stand hair in my face. I finally cut it rather short (in a style my husband still thinks is feminine)… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/12/21 12:30 PM |
| 5 | My husband doesn't have the 'man flu' he is seriously ill.When my husband is sick - and he acts sick… then I know it’s bad. He pushed through most things. But he hates being pampered so I just leave him alone. | /r/RedPillWives | 13/12/21 04:03 PM |
| 2 | Is this an overreaction?My husband has listened to lots of redpill -esque YouTube personalities. Neither one of us would say we are “full” redpill. We are more traditional and religious and the things that overlap are what bring me here. We talked about it last night and he said he’s angry about things he sees as disrespect. Which makes him more distant from me. So im working on that more at that moment. | /r/RedPillWives | 13/12/21 04:01 PM |
| 1 | Is this an overreaction?It comes and goes. It isn’t constant. The more stress he is under at work, the less he wants to be affectionate at all. | /r/RedPillWives | 12/12/21 11:23 PM |
| 6 | Is this an overreaction?That is true. I guess I just didn’t know how else to handle it because he wasn’t stopping and was annoyed that I said “let’s just not do this”. I guess at the time it was like- let’s not do this, but later realizing it’s frustrating as hell that this is just what our sex life seems like now. Me putting in a massive amount of effort when he asks for sex (now - which is rare so I never say no and in the past). | /r/RedPillWives | 12/12/21 04:03 PM |
| 3 | Is this an overreaction?I understand. It’s just been going on for 3-4 years so it’s hard to see things from his way. But I do need the reminder. | /r/RedPillWives | 12/12/21 03:30 PM |
| 20 | Is this an overreaction?I guess what really makes me angry is that my feelings didn’t matter when I didn’t want sex. When we were first married i had the lower libido and every resource (and including my husband) told me that to make my husband feel loved that I needed to have sex with him. It didn’t matter if I wanted to or not (you know - I would feel like it when we got going). So I put in the work and got to a place where I really liked and wanted sex. But when I didn’t want it it didn’t matter - I was just suppose… | /r/RedPillWives | 12/12/21 02:44 PM |
| 75 | Do men really want to get married?I agree with Kevin Samuels on that one. If he wants to marry you - then he would have a plan to or you would already be married. A continuing conversation is still just a conversation. Not a plan. | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/12/21 07:54 PM |
| 2 | A little off topic but looking for help/advice/etiquette?A thoughtful letter would be wonderful. A gift card would be really nice as well. | /r/RedPillWives | 09/12/21 04:42 PM |
| 9 | What skill has helped you the most? Formerly awful person here.Read the Empowered Wife by Laura Doyle And follow her intimacy skills. Fascinating Womanhood is another good read. Most importantly is self care. Patience is next. It’s easy to see the major changes in yourself and get frustrated when he doesn’t respond. He may even provoke you (unintentionally or not) to see of these changes stick. Don’t make excuses for being grumpy and nagging. A person can have lots of issues and still be kind. Take responsibility for your countenance and demeanor. Practicin… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/12/21 04:08 PM |
| 10 | How do you decline sex without making husband feel rejected?Glad I could help :) For help with that belly that is still there (which is totally normal) - check out fit2b. She’s a fitness guru that helps postpartum moms strengthen their core. | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/12/21 01:07 AM |
| 119 | How do you decline sex without making husband feel rejected?I would suggest not turning him down as often as possible. If you absolutely have to then suggest another day and then follow through (be the initiating one). All of things you mentioned are fixable. And are your responsibility to fix (sorry that is really harsh). For self esteem, wear something sexy and that covers your tummy (a sheer nightgown) and accentuates your good features and then dim the lights. There are very quick and easy things to make yourself look and feel better. Set an alarm fo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/12/21 11:14 PM |
| 2 | Creating less stress in the home?I talked to him this morning and he said he isn’t sure what would help at home with stress . He did acknowledge that it’s an issue for him. I suggested he that he makes sure he gets a lunch break (he often works through his break). | /r/RedPillWives | 07/12/21 03:45 PM |
| 2 | Creating less stress in the home?Hmm that sounds like a wonderful idea! Thanks ❤️ | /r/RedPillWives | 06/12/21 04:29 PM |
| 1 | Creating less stress in the home?❤️ thank you | /r/RedPillWives | 06/12/21 03:59 PM |
| 2 | Creating less stress in the home?I should have specified that I work every other weekend. The weekends I am home, I try to help with the cleaning and my husband says, “do you not trust me or what? I told you I’d take care of this” I do work a couple days a week while also homeschool and general child care (we have 4). I try to do a deeper clean, but with my schedule it doesn’t always happen. My husband also wants to kids to learn how to do those chores. My hope is to eventually get out of weekends altogether, but I don’t see th… | /r/RedPillWives | 06/12/21 02:41 PM |
| 2 | RPW Resources?Dr Laura is a good one | /r/RedPillWives | 06/12/21 12:04 PM |
| 3 | Feeling shameThat’s so tough and I’ve been where you are. The one great thing is that you are taking notice and doing something about it! That’s awesome. If you need any inspiration (I know you didn’t ask for it), but the book How to Manage Your Home Without Losing Your Mind is a great one! Happy cleaning ☺️ | /r/RedPillWives | 06/12/21 11:46 AM |
| 6 | Need help to not end in a sexless marriageSexual incompatibly can be overcome if both people are willing to put in effort. What I am hearing is that he isn’t willing to budge. Saying that what you want is boring is just so strange to me. Let me explain: my husband has on occasion suggested things that I might find off putting. I don’t say no right away - I try it out. If I say, “I just can’t do that, I’m sorry” he’s like , “why apologize it’s just something you can’t do. Thanks for trying”. The fact that he expects you to do things “his… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/12/21 08:41 PM |
| 2 | My boyfriend like ASMR, is this a problem?My understanding of ASMR is that it gives a little thrill (non sexual) to people who just have that gene or whatever. Personally I can not stand ASMR. Like even talking about it is making my skin crawl in a terrible way. I think anything can become an addiction - and if that’s what this is for him I could see talking to him about it. I don’t think it’s cheating or anything like that. But maybe compared to a video game addiction or something. If he can’t function without it then perhaps it’s an a… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/12/21 08:30 PM |
| 2 | Need advise - don’t like giving or receiving oral sexHaha now that we have 4 kids and we are busy and tired - the needing a connection bit goes away so much. It’s like - we’re both in the same room for 20 minutes?! Anything goes now without so much thought. Then of course not wanting more babies made all things easier. 15 years in and so many things we struggled with at the beginning are lost in the craziness that is life now. | /r/RedPillWives | 05/12/21 08:26 PM |
| 11 | Homemaking books etc from decades ago?Not an old one, but Home Comforts: the art and science of keeping house is a nice one :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/12/21 11:38 AM |
| 4 | Need advise - don’t like giving or receiving oral sexMay I ask what part of it you despise? I ask because if there’s an issue with one particular area over another - maybe we can be more help. For example, if it’s that you dislike giving a bj after you’ve had sex and the taste/smell of you is the issue then maybe you could have certain times where you just give head and not do any PIV. There are also various lubes that are flavored or you can even play with stuff in your fridge to deal with his taste. Is he showering prior to this? Is it his cum? … | /r/RedPillWives | 05/12/21 02:28 AM |
| 13 | I (22F) thought my boyfriend was planning on proposing... he was thinking of a promise ring instead.I don’t think you’re being unreasonable. But I also think you need to make your expectations known. When we were first dating, my now husband and I both talked about our expectations. It was probably quite a strange, intense conversation for a few dates in, but I told him I really didn’t have an interest in dating around for long periods, but would prefer to decide up front if this would be a serious relationship leading to marriage. He wholeheartedly agreed. We also waited until marriage and I … | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/12/21 02:04 AM |
| 3 | The Chris Pratt debacleHe didn’t compare the two. Can’t he be happy he also had a healthy child or should that child always be in the shadow of the other one? Edit: I’ve got 4 kids. At the birth of each one I announced them as healthy kids without addressing the others. Even the one that has ADHD and dyslexia and etc etc… | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/12/21 05:12 PM |
| 11 | The Chris Pratt debacleI’m reading it now and just don’t see the big deal?? It sounded sweet and maybe a little tone-deaf, but like a guy? Are celebrities supposed to be super human and get everything perfectly right? And then what is perfectly right all the time? Who gets to decide that for us and them? | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/12/21 11:02 AM |
| 1 | Can we talk about complaining for a minute?Being defensive is a natural reaction to a random person on the internet diagnosing me. It seems quite reasonable to wonder why someone would think that’s okay to just jump in and say “you sound insane” (which is quite rude even if you didn’t say I was insane). The social cues I received have been laughter when I complain. Or gripeing to my family where they do the same. The people who said I complain were people I didn’t trust and didn’t take their criticism seriously (and I was young so I ther… | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/11/21 10:25 PM |
| 1 | Can we talk about complaining for a minute?Wow way to be constructive- calling me insane. Thanks. I’m very high in agreeability but low on contentiousness. Most of the people who complained about my complaining were people I didn’t particularly care for. Therefore didn’t really take their criticism to heart. And if you read my post, I often do not realize that I’m complaining. Things my husband points out (for example being sick and whiny) I wouldn’t have seen as complaining. That’s just what a person does when they are sick, right? Appa… | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/11/21 09:49 PM |
| 8 | Items every wife should have?I don’t like useful things for Christmas. I like candles and jewelry and memories. If there was something to make my life useful? Well I guess that would boil down to something useful for you. Like if you aren’t a great cook then perhaps some cooking lessons or kitchen things. Or perhaps someone to clean your house | /r/RedPillWives | 30/11/21 07:00 PM |
| 24 | Quality time love language tips?My husband likes when I’m just there. If he’s playing a video game, I will sit and read. Working on the car, I’ll hang out and act interested in what he’s doing (don’t worry he knows I’m just acting and couldn’t care less about the car)… He says he likes it when I’m just hanging around. | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/11/21 01:05 AM |
| 13 | Date night fights. Help!Laura Doyle says when your husband is legit asking for an opinion, then give it. | /r/RedPillWives | 27/11/21 11:35 PM |
| 2 | Can we talk about complaining for a minute?Ooof that was a difficult read. I can see myself in there a little bit (thankfully, I suppose, not much). But yes something I need to be aware of! | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/11/21 03:38 PM |
| 1 | Can we talk about complaining for a minute?Thanks for the reminder to do this! I know I get caught up in seeing the negative. Funny enough my sister can do that (be very negative) and it annoys me when she does it, but I have a hard time seeing it in myself. It’s something I really need to be intentional about. | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/11/21 03:37 PM |
| 4 | How is it that my traditional, conservative husband seems to be way lest "sexist" than the majority of femnist's husbands I knowI think there are lots of good and thoughtful responses here. I wonder also if these women expect the lowest common denominator from their men and then get it because that’s what they expected. How many of these women genuinely ask for help and then accept the help they receive. Or do they correct and demean their husband? And then complain he didn’t help (I’ve seen that dynamic a lot in my husband’s family). | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/11/21 11:41 AM |
| 2 | I am not having my baby circumcisedWe have two boys. When I was pregnant we didn’t know we were having boys (we were surprised with all of 4 of our kids). We were unsure about circumcision and thankfully our childbirth teacher brought it up one class. We decided against it once we learned how it goes down. Our oldest is 13 and he’s had zero issues thus far. | /r/MensRights | 25/11/21 09:24 PM |
| 2 | Thoughts on this line of thinking: “I’m the boss at home. My husband doesn’t interfere.”Hmm, but what would be a “major” vs “minor” purchase? I guess it depends on the couple? | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/11/21 12:28 AM |
| 4 | Thoughts on this line of thinking: “I’m the boss at home. My husband doesn’t interfere.”May I ask what sounds exhausting about it? Just curious. I’m in the same boat that my husband wants all decision run through him. Sometimes I’m not sure he understand what it takes to run a house of 6 people though. | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/11/21 02:34 PM |
| 25 | Thoughts on this line of thinking: “I’m the boss at home. My husband doesn’t interfere.”I do think she’s a woman who runs her house. Her husband travels quite a bit for work so I think this is the way she manages things. And if he is getting involved then it sort of disrupts her set up. But according to her he doesn’t like to do any of those things. Like her attitude is very much, “come home, relax. I’ve got things taken care of here”. | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/11/21 01:00 PM |
| 3 | Thoughts on this line of thinking: “I’m the boss at home. My husband doesn’t interfere.”Yeah we went on to talk about smaller things like grocery shopping. She said it would give her a panic attack if her husband went to the grocery store (she was just joking a little). I much prefer to do something like the grocery shopping because my husband doesn’t seem to get what our house needs to keep it going :). He’s brilliant at his job and there’s no way I could go do his work for sure! I guess there’s a certain amount of pride to say I’ve got it at home. | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/11/21 12:52 PM |
| 1 | Help with money disputeAnd may I ask 1) how? And 2) how in the world does that help? | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/11/21 01:19 PM |
| 69 | Is it cool to talk about women with your husband?My husband has zero interest in this type of conversation. He thinks it pretty shallow and would just feed insecurities on my part. He chose you. You’re his type. | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/11/21 10:03 PM |
| 8 | How much childcare should I expect my husband to do?I don’t want to assume anything. But I would make sure you aren’t correcting him with the baby. He will want to do even less if you do that. Or if you demand he do certain things. Do you have family that can help you out? What happens if you say, “would you mind if I sleep in tomorrow morning? I just really need a little rest?” The other option is just go out and have some time for yourself then he has to get up. If you say, “I’m going out in the morning for a walk and breakfast” then he doesn’t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/11/21 01:33 PM |
| 2 | Update hubby doesn’t like my spendingI’m trying to remember the details of your last post. Would you mind expanding? I couldn’t find it in your history. I’m sorry your struggling not only with him but also with your health. Don’t make any huge decisions just yet while emotions are so high. Take care of yourself ❤️ Edit: after reading your replies and the original post. I agree that you seem to not be taking the money spending seriously (there was an “lol” in a reply on how much you spent). I’m sorry you are dealing with a cancer di… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/11/21 01:26 PM |
| 19 | How much childcare should I expect my husband to do?My husband always looks at being a dad as something he loved and that he had equal part it. Like he has always done bedtime because he doesn’t get to see them all day and it gives me a break. I always let him know when I needed some extra sleep on a weekend. How much of what you wrote here have you expressed to him? And how have you said it? | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/11/21 12:07 PM |
| 12 | Looking for advice on and argument I had with my bfThis is one small snippet of your relationship - so it’s hard for any of us to give advice overall. But if after one disagreement you are worried he is going to leave you - that makes me wonder if other things are going on. | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/11/21 12:30 PM |
| 15 | Looking for advice on and argument I had with my bfFirst of all it seems like a couple of posts lately make it seem like getting gifts is somehow a bad thing. Let me clear that up - it is not a bad thing whatsoever! My love language is gifts. I love receiving gifts. I love giving gifts. There’s nothing materialistic or wrong with that. To me it sounds like a miscommunication. Like you would like to get gifts from your boyfriend and he thinks he is getting you gifts by buying practical things. My guess would be he is more of a “acts of service” g… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/11/21 12:15 PM |
| 1 | Help with money disputeTo be clear, he was 100% the one who wanted the app in the first place. I’ve asked him what I can spend and he says, “I’ll fix the app for you” (and then doesn’t). I’ve informed him I need to know what i can spend for new shoes (needed because I have an injury) and Christmas presents. And he says, “I know I’m sorry I’ll fix the budget”. And then he doesn’t… he has even said, “remind me to fix the app”. And I do - but he doesn’t. I said, “I don’t want to nag you about it.” And he says, “no it’s o… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/11/21 10:24 PM |
| 1 | My fiancé wants me to do more for him, but feels guilty when I offer to. What do I do?I wouldn’t offer. I would just do. He has to manage his own feelings. What do you think a balance would look like? What sorts of things are you offering to do? | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/11/21 11:18 AM |
| 2 | Help with money disputeUhm I said I want him to lead. I gave him my list of things I would need and for him to allocate as he sees fit (what the house’s priorities are). | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/11/21 12:15 AM |
| 1 | Help with money disputeI’ve asked him a couple of times to look at the app (it crashed and lost all the data). He has said, “I’ll look at it. Remind me later”. Then he never looks at it even with my reminding. I said I didn’t want to be a nag at this point that’s what I sound like. As for bigger expenses… we don’t do vacations partly for this reason. He wants to fix the bathroom before a vacation but we haven’t saved enough and aren’t saving because of this whole thing. But we needed a couch desperately (we’ve literal… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/11/21 04:46 PM |
| 2 | Help with money disputeThanks you for the thoughts. I think that makes a lot of sense. Thanks | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/11/21 04:35 PM |
| 4 | Help with money disputeI agree with everything that you are saying. And I realize how wrong I’ve been in money matters and following his lead. I recognized and apologized that instead of following his lead I just did it my way all around. I did ask on how I should handle the pizza. And his response is akin to just being able to read his mind. That’s where my frustration lies. Essentially he said, “what would I spend on pizza? Spend that”. Well I have no idea what he would have spent on it. He would have spent what was… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/11/21 04:08 PM |
| 1 | Help with money disputeI have zero intention of taking it out of his hands again. He wants to lead and I think in some ways it’s unintentionally a test on his part. Nor do I have the time or ability to handle it. But thank you for the input. | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/11/21 03:35 PM |
| 1 | Help with money disputeThank you for your input. I guess my issue comes in with I don’t want to be “in charge” of the money. He has said he wants to lead and I’ve let go of the money. He won’t set up budget meetings. He likes the idea, but won’t actually follow through. The app on my phone quit working (so I literally have no idea what the budget is) and he keeps saying that he will get to it. I’m also trying to not be a nag with all of it. I have pointed out (and he agreed) where I’ve made huge strides. In many ways … | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/11/21 02:36 PM |
| 4 | Request for advice - communication issues & feeling like we're not on the same pageThere’s nothing wrong with staying and I wouldn’t want to encourage you either direction since that’s a huge life decision. Either way it’s being fully aware of the choice in front of you and the consequences. I know you mentioned that you argue quite a bit. Has that turned him off and he’s questioning if you’d be a good wife? Perhaps working on your attitude and response is something you need to do? | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/11/21 11:49 PM |
| 9 | Request for advice - communication issues & feeling like we're not on the same pageSeeing that you are 28 and not married… perhaps it’s time to move on? I’m seriously not one to ever put that out as the first option, but if you want marriage and babies your clock is ticking. If you were married I’d give different advice (mostly read The Empowered Wife and follow through on the advice there). But how long are you willing to wait for him to decide what he wants? And what if what he decides isn’t what you want (like he finally settles on not wanting children for example)? | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/11/21 11:00 PM |
| 41 | Self-Improvement Needed… in multiple areasI’ve got 4 kids. Here are some of my recommendations: Prioritize a morning routine. Wake up at the same time (preferably 15-30 minutes before baby wake up). Whatever that routine is - stick to it. That may be a shower and getting dressed. Or coffee and breakfast. Or a short walk outside. Whatever it is just establish that routine. 1a. Establish a routine with baby. If your milk is in and established you can get baby on a feeding routine so you don’t feel like you’re nursing all day. Naps and fee… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/11/21 03:22 PM |
| 3 | A Love Letter to the SundressThank you for the ideas! | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/11/21 08:57 PM |
| 4 | Giving up controlYou say, “I’m sorry. that was disrespectful”. Maybe practice with just one area. What’s one small thing that you tend to jump in on and give your unasked for opinion? One thing that helps me is to understand the absolute gravity of what I’m doing. It may seem like a little “oops” on my part. But really what I’m doing is slowly degrading my husband’s opinion of himself and tearing down my own trust in him. If you’re saying it then your thinking it. Perhaps make a list of the good qualities in you… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/11/21 03:34 PM |
| 8 | A Love Letter to the SundressMy husband likes when I wear dresses. I’ve been working on expanding my wardrobe (I now have 3-4 dresses and that many skirts with blouses. I like sundresses, but until I lose more weight they just won’t work well on me :( I did stitch fix and put down that I wanted dresses and skirts so got a few through them. What I’m struggling with is now it’s getting cold! I have a couple pairs of tight yoga pants I wear under a skirt. But I need more warm suggestions. Oh and SHOES! I have some foot issues … | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/11/21 01:37 PM |
| 3 | Giving up controlListen to Jordan peterson regarding dads and roughhousing. It’s an incredibly important thing for them. https://youtu.be/-JQHcHoUk3c | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/11/21 11:32 PM |
| 35 | Giving up controlSeriously learn to just keep your mouth shut. Practice doing it in the little things and eventually your trust in him will grow. Walk out of the room if you have to to just not say a thing. It’s really as simple as just knowing what the right thing is to do and then doing you. You know that the wrong thing is nitpicking and such - the right thing then is to not say anything. If he’s saying something that you want to jump in and fix. Work on just saying nothing or “okay I hear you”. But nothing e… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/11/21 08:00 PM |
| 7 | Tea TimeHad a really fun day with the family. I noticed something this week. Just a quiet shift in my marriage. Ive taken myself out of it emotionally. A lot of times I’ve tried to do that and really it was me throwing a pity party. But, yeah - I was able to have fun with the kids and kinda ignore what my husband was doing. He asked me to order pizza. I asked which kind and he said, “oh just like 3 (or 4 if you think we need them). Well he got all upset later when he saw the receipt. He got up from the … | /r/RedPillWives | 14/11/21 01:18 AM |
| 1 | Cultivating happinessNope. Unfortunately no days off for me. Thankfully my mom is nearby and does help me out with childcare. I probably haven’t had a full day with no kids in at least 6 months (I did have a girls trip last January for a weekend). | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/11/21 10:08 PM |
| 14 | Being the “stronger gender” is no privilegeMy great uncle was in a coal mine when he was 11. I try to remember that the days I’m struggling. | /r/MensRights | 11/11/21 09:31 PM |
| 6 | Young mom feeling a bit socially isolated, would love to chat to others in a similar positionIf good friends are asking the questions I would try and see the best in them. It is (in today’s world) odd to see a mom so young. I had my first at 23 so absolutely no judgment from me. I just wonder if they’re legitimately concerned versus being judgmental. If they responded well to your reassurance and haven’t brought it up again - then perhaps they are just being a good friend. Ignore that if that hasn’t been the case :) I just mentioned homeschooling groups because they tend to meet during … | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/11/21 12:23 AM |
| 4 | Young mom feeling a bit socially isolated, would love to chat to others in a similar positionI don’t know if you intend to homeschool, but looking at your local homeschooling community might be a good place to look into finding friends. I’m sorry you’ve been so judged. May I ask what people have said or done? | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/11/21 10:29 PM |
| 5 | I'm learning how to let myself want things from him, but now I don't know where to stop...What would happen if you just let yourself be okay with wanting things? Self denial isn’t more moral high ground. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting things. Have a list going of things you desire (you never have to express them out loud - you can always just keep them to a list). They may even contradict each other! A happy boyfriend and husband is happy to keep his SO happy. Sometimes the answer is “no”. But practice just saying, “I’d love xyz” and leave it there. There doesn’t need … | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/11/21 06:45 PM |
| 9 | What does compromise look like in your marriage?I’m really trying hard to figure out something we compromise on. And really we are so different in personality and taste it usually comes down to who feels more strongly about it. We also have our “domains” that we handle and make the decisions over. I do 99% of the child care so I make those decisions (doctor, clothes, food, etc). He does all the house upkeep and car upkeep so he makes all of those decisions | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/11/21 06:18 PM |
| 2 | Cultivating happinessI do have a religion I find a lot of comfort and joy in. I don’t spend enough time with friends. | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/11/21 02:39 PM |
| 2 | Cultivating happinessI do work part time at this point. We are working towards me cutting back my hours further or quitting altogether. | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/11/21 01:52 PM |
| 22 | How do conservative women convince men that they are not gold diggers?The question would really become - what are YOU bringing to the relationship that would make a high income man even want you. And yes it does sound like gold digging when you put it that way. I would argue that most conservative men would be more than happy to provide for their wife and family. It’s a point of pride. But they don’t want to be used. They want a wife who is going to give just as much as they will - not financially, but in taking care of the home and family. Do you cook? How do you… | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/11/21 12:00 PM |
| 1 | Cultivating happinessThank you for taking the time for such a thoughtful answer. I did order a crafting kit online to try making a new evening habit (to replace snacking), but I’ve also been looking for something meaningful to fill my time with (instead of zoning out on my phone). You are right on with the last paragraph. I also notice my “martyr” attitude rears it’s ugly head when I don’t prioritize taking care of myself. I can serve from a much better place when I fill my cup. And I notice my family are more likel… | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/11/21 07:30 AM |
| 1 | Cultivating happinessI’ve actually got her podcast in my queue and just never started it. I’ll look into her resources more, thanks! | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/11/21 07:26 AM |
| 2 | Cultivating happinessThank you for the reminder :). I had been trying to be mindful and express gratitude more often and I’ve let that habit slip. | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/11/21 07:25 AM |
| 1 | How do you stay fit?I’ve only been to a yoga class like 3 times. I’ve always done it at home. I’m not any type of strong woman though who can do anything extreme. One resource I absolutely love is fit2b. I’m not longer a member because of budget reasons - but she’s got a huge variety of workouts. | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/11/21 11:02 AM |
| 3 | Insecure with my bodyUnless there’s something seriously wrong with him - he’ll be happy his wife is interested in sex with him. Women have real bodies (surprisingly) and our boobs are sometimes saggy or lopsided or “weird”. Unless a guy is entirely addicted to porn and the unrealistic bodies there - he will not be turned off by his wife’s body. And the more confident she presents herself (hence using lighting or apparel to help increase her confidence) the less likely he’ll even notice or even care that her boobs sa… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/11/21 12:17 PM |
| 19 | Insecure with my bodyHe won’t get turned off. You can do things to help your confidence like wearing some sexy lingerie and lighting candles (the lighting helps a lot IMO). If you need to, have sex with a little bralet on if that helps you to stay in the mood and not think about it. | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/11/21 04:14 PM |
| 4 | How often do you have sex with your boyfriend/husband?Well I have nothing to gain by becoming paranoid and thinking that is what he’s doing. | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/11/21 11:32 PM |
| 4 | How often do you have sex with your boyfriend/husband?Yes. However I trust him. He’s always highly valued honesty in himself and others. I have no other indication that he is watching porn. | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/11/21 11:20 PM |
| 3 | How often do you have sex with your boyfriend/husband?He isn’t. He’s very open about me checking him phone. I suspect it’s related to his OCD, but I’m not sure. He’s always got an excuse as to why (it’s too late, kids are awake, he’s tired, etc). When I bring it up, it’s almost bordering on gaslighting. Meaning he will throw it back on me and say, “well when is the last time you tried?” Or some other BS thing. I’m just about to the point where I’m giving up on any sort of intimate relationship with him (seeing as there very little emotional intimac… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/11/21 10:39 PM |
| 2 | How often do you have sex with your boyfriend/husband?It’s tough :( sorry you’re in the same boat | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/11/21 07:58 PM |
| 16 | How often do you have sex with your boyfriend/husband?Yes. Massively. He’s not nearly as interested as he used to be. My self esteem has plummeted along with his sex drive. Logically I know it shouldn’t be interlinked like that, but it’s tough. He would always say sex was his way of connecting with me and feeling loved. So now it doesn’t? Or what? I feel like our marriage is on rocky ground as a result. | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/11/21 07:55 PM |
| 22 | How often do you have sex with your boyfriend/husband?I’ve been married 15 years. We started off every day. We waited until we were married to have sex. Then it dwindled to a couple times per week. My husband said he was unhappy about it and we were around 3-4 times a week. The last couple of years? Maybe twice a month :( | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/11/21 04:49 PM |
| 7 | He won’t date me because he’s saving himself for marriage?I would say it’s an excuse. Waiting until marriage can be admirable, but you want the person you’re going to marry to be someone you’re sexually attracted to. Does he just not want to date but get married fairly quickly? | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/11/21 02:13 AM |
| 7 | How to handle mistakes in leadership?I let him handle things he said he would handle unless it because dangerous (the brakes on my car need to be fixed - I am very close to just going to get them done). For example ive asked him to handle the finances (like Laura Doyle suggested in The Surrendered Wife). i handed it entirely over to him. He started off doing a budget app and keeping it updated until the app stopped working on my end (it refreshed and lost all the data). He said he’d take care of it but he didn’t. And I haven’t said… | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/11/21 11:09 AM |
| 26 | Thoughts on homeschooling?I homeschool!! I’ve been doing it for 8 years. If you have any specific questions please feel free to reach out to me. Also r/homeschool is a great subreddit. There are lots of resources for kids to have social outlets. :) I wouldn’t say I’m particularly skilled, but I’ve taught 3 kids to read (so far - still one more). Two of them have dyslexia. There are tons upon tons of resources that are out there to help. There’s also no reason you have to commit to forever homeschooling. My oldest two are… | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/11/21 05:35 PM |
| 10 | TradCons are NOT our friendI appreciate your honesty. Also to be clear, I do not think men are disposable. At all. | /r/MensRights | 01/11/21 01:47 PM |
| 12 | TradCons are NOT our friendWhat do you suppose the reason is for men to take the riskier jobs? Men are also riskier in investing versus women given all the same starting things (like the article I posted). So I think you’d need to show me something that shows that for your argument. Anecdotally there are many things my husband does that I balk at. Like ride a motorcycle or climb 200 ft conveyor belts for work. He claims to have no fear around it and says he looks at the risk vs benefit. Edit: love the downvoted when I at … | /r/MensRights | 01/11/21 12:48 PM |
| 14 | TradCons are NOT our friendI’m mean I’m doing Google searches and seeing that men tend to take more risks (particularly young men) than women do. Can you point to something that says the opposite? https://www.academia.edu/5327550/Are_women_less_risk_averse_than_men_The_effect_of_impending_death_on_risk_taking_behavior https://hbr.org/2013/02/do-women-take-as-many-risks-as | /r/MensRights | 01/11/21 12:41 PM |
| 15 | TradCons are NOT our friendI think having any labels is dangerous territory. My husband and I fall into the more traditional marriage/gender roles - but being a wife I have very distinct roles that I’m meant to hold myself to (keeping the house clean, having sex regularly, etc). The idea being that everything my husband holds himself to (because it isn’t me making him work) I have an equal and opposing thing I hold myself to. He works all day to come home to a peaceful home where there’s dinner ready and kids cared for an… | /r/MensRights | 01/11/21 12:18 PM |
| 1 | Suffering deeply as I long for motherhoodOh my heart breaks for you. Please don’t push your husband away. It sounds like he is incredibly caring and wants to support you and be there for you. ❤️ | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/10/21 01:17 AM |
| 5 | Is it okay to let my boyfriend watch porn while we have sex?Well, then I guess you answered your own questions. Just keep in mind he may not like your plan of cutting back on sex eventually. It isn’t necessarily a question of legal or illegal. Just because it exists it may not be healthy long term. | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/10/21 12:17 AM |
| 8 | Is it okay to let my boyfriend watch porn while we have sex?Is that something prescribed by a doctor? Are you finding enjoyment in it? While I totally 100% am on board with keeping our men sexually satisfied- 3 times a day seems a little… sore? Does he take that into consideration? Also only dating for 4 months… how long do you think you can keep doing this? I agree you can’t make him not addicted to porn. Do you want a long term relationship with someone who has a porn addiction and needs to climax 3 times a day? | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/10/21 11:43 PM |
| 36 | Is it okay to let my boyfriend watch porn while we have sex?Why does he have to orgasm until the point that it’s difficult to do so anymore? That sounds weird. Edit: do you get any enjoyment out of these sessions? Or is it all about him? | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/10/21 08:37 PM |
| 2 | Submission vs. Basic respectI agree if I kept asking even my sister than that would be annoying and just a general faux pas ;) I believe in either that comment or in another one why it is so important to only submit in the way I’m stating if there’s a firm commitment. That’s one of those “wife benefits”. Being with a person you can trust is absolutely a requirement. A husband who understands his position of leadership doesn’t dictate and demand, but he takes his wife’s needs and wants into consideration. My husband did ask… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/10/21 08:50 PM |
| 19 | Swimming pool - short observationI’ve never ever done that and I have two boys. I’ll either ask someone (like if you were sitting there) if they saw my son go in or if you could help me get him. Or I’d stand there like a weirdo yelling into the door 😂 | /r/MensRights | 28/10/21 07:27 PM |
| 11 | I feel scared when I think about the future with my fiance.So context is needed like the other person commented. Have you ever wanted sex? As for bickering that, my dear, is a choice. The next time you feel irritated choose not to respond. Say nothing or say something sweet. My husband and I were bickering and arguing and just in a bad spot. The only way to get out of that is to stop doing it. Focus on the things you like about him. Thank him for those things as often as possible. If sex has just recently become as issue consider it could be a medicatio… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/10/21 07:02 PM |
| 3 | Submission vs. Basic respectSo I guess I will reply since you are making a post off of my comment. My case for not second guessing as submission is when my husband makes a decision for the entire family, submission is keeping my mouth shut and doing as he’s asked. Not saying, “are you sure”. For example… last night I asked if we should do something special for our 15th anniversary. I had put out there several days ago that maybe we could find a flight and go away for a weekend since we’ve never done that. He starts looking… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/10/21 03:10 PM |
| 3 | Am I awful for feeling afraid to have kids when I feel like we won't be able to make it on one income 😕I didn’t mean for it to come off like she should quit her job without the plan that he would in fact provide. If he shows absolutely zero sign of wanting to be a provider than, no she shouldn’t have kids with him. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/10/21 09:23 PM |
| 10 | Am I awful for feeling afraid to have kids when I feel like we won't be able to make it on one income 😕I’m going to suggest a alternate idea. He isn’t making more because there’s no pressure for him to. If you make more than he probably doesn’t want to compete with you. Suzanne Venker has done a few podcasts recently regarding this. I think it’s weird to jump to the conclusion that he’s a terrible person for nothing wanting to make more. If there’s no reason for him to, why should he? If you are bringing in an equal or even more amount it sounds like you are well off. Instead of busting his behin… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/10/21 07:44 PM |
| 27 | How do I stay slim in this household? Has anyone had problems with compulsive eating?I’ve enjoyed the podcast We Only Look Thin. It’s really helpful. At the end of the day you can only work on you. Trying to convince someone else to eat healthy so you can is not going to work. It comes down to you figuring out what you need to do to eat better and then do it. | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/10/21 12:40 PM |
| 5 | How do I peel myself off the wall?get a good haircut and color make sure you’re hydrated - that makes a huge difference in how you feel and look work on your diet, won’t be an overnight change so in the meantime get some clothes that can be flattering for your body type there are lots of various foundations and concealer that can help; you’ll have to research that (someone already linked a sub for makeup addiction) start working out… it does wonders for making you look more fresh and vibrant | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/10/21 11:16 AM |
| 4 | What exactly is “submission”If you aren’t married - then no, he doesn’t have any say in those issues. In marriage it all falls under “affecting your relationship” | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/10/21 09:21 PM |
| 10 | What exactly is “submission”I think it’s such a good question and often looks different in any relationship. For me and my husband it’s more like, just not second guessing him. For example, if I say “I’d love to not have to make dinner tonight (per Laura Doyle, stating my desire)”. And he says “let’s order pizza from (somewhere expensive)”. I used to say, “oh are you sure? That place is pricey”. Now I just say, “okay. Whatever you think”. I only jump in and make a decision if he asks me to and I only explain how to do some… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/10/21 08:09 PM |
| 18 | How can I improve my character?I would also recommend listening to and reading Jordan Peterson. Great info there. I also would recommend his 5 big personality test. Surprised here of all places to get downvoted for mentioning JP. Hit or miss I guess 🤷🏻♀️ My rationale is that the test measures things like compassion and gives you an idea for things to aim for. He discusses issues like you are mentioning quite a bit and he’s helped me out a great deal. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/10/21 05:12 PM |
| 1 | When and how to let him lead - moving in togetherYeah I had to listen to a few to really get into her podcast. I sort of cherry picked which ones I thought would apply. It’s more about keeping the information fresh in my mind. Because no matter how many time I read the book I end up falling back into my old ways. | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/10/21 12:01 PM |
| 5 | Supporting Your Partner That Hates GiftsI think what you’re doing is admirable. BUT seeing as it’s his family - I would let him handle it. You see his boundary and respect it. But it’s still his boundary to uphold, not yours. He would need to set his boundaries with his family. I would almost venture to guess it’s less about the gift and more about being heard and respected by his mom. But that’s something he’s have to work out for himself. Although if this system is making everyone happy, why change it? | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/10/21 11:51 AM |
| 3 | When and how to let him lead - moving in togetherI totally get it. I often have to almost bite my tongue sometimes to just not reply! I’ve been listening to her podcast and that’s helped me a lot. It keeps it in mind and helps keep me accountable :) I also think things we women see as helpful for each other, men find irritating and disrespectful. I think if I were with my sisters and said “well are you sure?” About something they wouldn’t see it as disrespectful. But with my husband it’s like a confidence breaker. | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/10/21 11:32 AM |
| 1 | When and how to let him lead - moving in togetherA good place to start is when he says he is doing something then let him do handle it without comment. I used to say “are you sure?” A lot. Which wasn’t helpful to say the least. My husband pointed out the husband is the lead is women who step in a take over. So stepping back and letting him lead and show you what it means to stop trying to handle things is not a bad idea. If you totally trust him - then remind yourself of that. I get caught up in overthinking and I have to stop to remind myself… | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/10/21 11:06 AM |
| 19 | How to become more feminine when my man also is feminineSo when you ask him to take more initiative you are again being the leader. It’s a catch-22. You are leading and being masculine by doing that and pointing out that he isn’t being masculine in the process which then will emasculate him even further. Seriously - just stop taking about it with him. Turn up your womanly wiles and just admire and respect him. Show your confidence in him and step back from taking the lead on the masculine things in the relationship. Suzanne Venker said the 3 things s… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/10/21 12:46 PM |
| 3 | How to become more feminine when my man also is feminineI added a bunch of edits you might not have read lol. I reread your post and had some more thoughts. I would venture you took over things where you saw fit and he backed off. That is really typical with men. I suggest you read The Surrendered Wife and start applying the ideas there. :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/10/21 12:41 PM |
| 5 | How to become more feminine when my man also is feminineHas it always been like that or did you take over and he backed off? (I know that sounds confrontational but it isn’t meant to). My husband has said a man won’t fight a woman for control. He will just take a step back and let her take over. That happened a lot in my marriage. And then I was like, “hey why am I doing all this alone?” Of course because I just took it over. The Surrendered Wife is a good place to start. Work on your shortcomings and don’t focus on his. Do some self analysis- where … | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/10/21 12:29 PM |
| 9 | Keeping Our Love Life Private From Friends/FamilyI’d say they are people who care about you, but also see the world very differently. The message most women (really everyone) hear as of late is - wait until you are past your prime to get married. You can’t ever get that time back, why waste it being married? You can have kids on your own or when you’re older. And even - you aren’t even really an adult until 26 because our brains aren’t developed until then. You shouldn’t make such a big decision as marriage until you’re older! Once upon a time… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/10/21 11:57 AM |
| 5 | Question/Help! Married to RPMWhat I think leadership is (and I think the “first mate/captain” stuff in is redpillwives, but I’m not sure) is that it’s much harder than just bossing people around. We all know bosses like that. Like - just get shit done I don’t care how it happens and just because I said so. Or a leader who inspires those he is leading. He takes into account his wife’s strengths and hears her out. If it’s nothing I have a vested interested in, I don’t give my input into it (like what he is doing with the vehi… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/10/21 04:15 PM |
| 34 | Question/Help! Married to RPMMy husband got into watching those. I would ask him the serious questions you’re asking. Point out the fallacies that he can’t have both. If you appreciate him leading, let him know that and ask for his help in navigating it. It started getting my husband bitter and angry and I ended up having a boundary set. I refused to be in the room if he was listening to them talk (because they are beyond crude and gross). I told my husband I thought he was above that and they’d never be the man he was - pr… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/10/21 02:47 PM |
| 1 | Thoughts?Those were all very important things to include! Yes, that would be incredibly concerning to hear and read. I think it’s salvageable if he wants it to be and you’re willing to stay. But I don’t think anyone would blame you for not wanting to stay after being a witness to those feelings. Now it could possible be venting and just letting of frustration so it still a good idea to discuss it with him. | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/10/21 10:14 PM |
| 2 | Thoughts?Yep, I was going to reply the same thing. It’s more like she’s asking for permission to leave because she’s unhappy. He isn’t cheating, sent texts a while ago, and hasn’t confronted him. I think she’s unhappy about something else and looking for something to fixate on in order to leave 🤷🏻♀️ | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/10/21 09:55 PM |
| 0 | Thoughts?What does he say about it? I imagine a confrontation is needed? Perhaps leave for a time with the understanding that he needs to address this before you’ll return? There are other option between staying and leaving. Edit: consider your kids and what they will grow up in. Sounds like you lost the warm, fluttery feeling - but have a decent guy you’re with. If your mind is made up don’t pretend you’re coming here for anything other than justification for leaving. | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/10/21 09:24 PM |
| 5 | Thoughts?If he is cheating - no I wouldn’t stay. If he isn’t cheating, I think I’d go with Dr. Laura’s advice - be kind and leave when your youngest is 18 (and only if he is a reasonably decent guy - no drugs, no addictions, no abuse, etc). As much as I hate to see families torn apart, sometimes they aren’t salvageable (although I hold firmly to the belief that nearly all can be saved). What has he said about the situation? | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/10/21 08:26 PM |
| 6 | College student "scared" that workers who installed radiators in "Female and Transgender Collective" housing were all "cisgender men."Unfortunately “cis gender” men have been seen as scary, full of toxic masculinity, and rapists. I feel sorry for this group. They probably didn’t have fathers to set a good example and mother’s who told them how evil men are (and a culture who is backing that up with their rhetoric instead of setting the facts straight). | /r/MensRights | 17/10/21 06:56 PM |
| 5 | Remember society's mantra - You Do, You Earn, She Deserves“Not everyone is perfect” “oh and I want the entire package” 🤦♀️ I suppose the upside to this - she’s single so doesn’t sound like anyone has taken the bait. | /r/MensRights | 17/10/21 01:02 PM |
| 9 | What can I bring on the table other than sex?I like to listen to podcasts and discuss the issues with my husband. He seems to enjoy it as well. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/10/21 02:13 PM |
| 12 | What can I bring on the table other than sex?It can be something to overcome. But I think like anything it can become a crutch or something to blame if things are going wrong (my brother in law was convinced if my sister just did things he liked, like biking, it would solve al their problems… it didn’t). But it depends on how you approach it. If you demean his interests or take the differences too seriously - yeah it can be a problem. But I don’t like hanging out with my husband because of what we’re doing. It’s because I like him. If you … | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/10/21 12:42 PM |
| 29 | What can I bring on the table other than sex?My husband and I have very different interests. He like video games at night, I’d rather read. I could spend a weekend hiking and camping and he’d rather do just about anything else. Our movies and music tastes are basically opposites. We keep a sense of humor about it. I don’t like him because of his tastes in music. And we occasionally tease each other’s horrible movie selection. We go on dates that we both may not have tried or can tolerate for a while. We focus on being with the other person… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/10/21 12:18 PM |
| 1 | My bf is always tired?!Does he have any other symptoms of apnea or narcolepsy? It might be something he could check with his doctor about. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/10/21 11:11 AM |
| 3 | How to feel more like a woman?I sort of always waited for a moment where I felt grown up and like a woman. There wasn’t one singular moment. It was like the process of a seed being planted then eventually blooming. I don’t think it’s a particular feeling - it’s just embracing who you are. And recognizing everything about you is what adds up to being a woman. Yes there are hobbies that are perhaps more feminine than others or certain personality markers as well. But just existing as you are is what being a woman is. If you wa… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/10/21 10:46 PM |
| 15 | for the SAHMs: what does your husband do for work?My husband does blue collar work in a warehouse. He has been there 17 years and has worked his way up to being a manager. I stayed at home 100% for 8 years or so. I have a part time job now that the kids are a bit older and while we can do home renovations on one income it will take a lot longer that way. I plan to quit again once the house is complete :) For a long time we did lots of sacrificing - lived in a one bedroom apartment for 3 years. Lived in a small 2 bedroom for another 2. Had only … | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/10/21 08:30 PM |
| 0 | Even though I want one, I don’t know if I’ll ever have a relationship because of feminism.I would never presuppose to tell men (or anyone for that matter) what to do or not do. Which is why I tend to cringe at the idea of others telling someone what to do. Many of the responses were just, “give up, women aren’t worth it anyway”. I understand why someone would feel that way. But is that really the only logical conclusion to being discouraged by women? Being a follower of traditional wife type subreddits, I know I’m far from the only one out here like myself. Many much younger than mys… | /r/MensRights | 15/10/21 04:42 PM |
| 1 | Book suggestionsIt was recommended to me because of the struggles I’ve had with sex in my marriage. At first I thought “oh this is a breath of fresh air”. But the more I read it, the less I liked it. She throws most modern day Christian marriage authors under the bus. She tends to take things they said out of context or misquotes them entirely to make them look bad. She criticizes the advice that women just need to have sex with their husbands or even unconditionally respect them. She points to women who have h… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/10/21 12:37 AM |
| 1 | Book suggestionsThis is a PDF (sorry I couldn’t find the link on her page). The TLDR of it is that Shaunti Feldhaun (author of for women only and others) was thrown under the bus by Sheila Wray Gregoire in her latest book (The Great Sex Rescue). Sheila misquoted Shaunti and then even accused her of pedophilia on her podcast. When Shaunti reached out privately since she thought they had a professional relationship. Shaunti gave one public response (the PDF I linked). https://shaunti.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/0… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/10/21 11:54 PM |
| 8 | Book suggestionsFor Women Only, Fascinating Womanhood, if you’re a Christian: anything by Elisabeth Elliot and Love and Respect (admittedly you could probably take out the overly Christian parts and still get a lot from Love and Respect). | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/10/21 11:30 PM |
| 2 | Book suggestionsHer newest one is way, way feminist. As is her YouTube channel. And I hated the way she treated her friends. I used to be a fan. Not so much now. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/10/21 11:29 PM |
| 5 | Even though I want one, I don’t know if I’ll ever have a relationship because of feminism.I am saying that much of the advice given sounds very much like “screw women - go be single”. And I would say that’s not the right solution either. I think the fact that there are women who have “converted” and see the hypocrisy is hopeful. And while I understand why someone would want to just give up, marriage can be (and often is) fulfilling. | /r/MensRights | 14/10/21 11:28 PM |
| 8 | Even though I want one, I don’t know if I’ll ever have a relationship because of feminism.At what point did this sub turn into MGTOW? I am fully an advocate for men’s rights and a woman. And a wife. And a mom. We do exist. | /r/MensRights | 14/10/21 10:08 PM |
| 1 | Podcast recommendations?I’m not crazy about Wait, wait don’t tell me. But ask me another is so great! I love trivia lol. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/10/21 08:06 PM |
| 7 | Is there a male equivalent to Suzanne Venker?Jordan Peterson is the first that comes to mind. What specifically are you looking for from the podcast? Like relationship advice or self-help type stuff? | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/10/21 08:02 PM |
| 3 | (please no discourse) My periods have been seriously messed up since getting the jab. How can I get my fertility tested/measured before I marry, just in case?Toni Weschler :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/10/21 05:08 PM |
| 6 | (please no discourse) My periods have been seriously messed up since getting the jab. How can I get my fertility tested/measured before I marry, just in case?The reality is no one can promise you’ll have kids. Or that they’ll survive if you do have them. That is one of the chances a person takes when they get married. Has he checked if he is fertile? That’s also a possibility. I have friends that have gone through infertility and it strengthened their marriage. They wanted to have children desperately and found it just didn’t happen for them. But they had each other which is why they got married. I personally would choose not to marry a man who would… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/10/21 11:47 AM |
| 2 | Podcast recommendations?Lazy Genius Way (although I had to turn one off because they were just ripping on husbands. Not red pill by any stretch, but productivity and house keeping). Classically Abby (on YouTube. She’s super traditional and Ben Shapiro’s sister if that matters at all. Haven’t watched a lot of her channel yet, but I intend to) The Minimal Mom (even if you aren’t a mom or a minimalist, she still had good house keeping tips. She does cleaning product reviews, decluttering tips, etc - another YouTube one) A… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/10/21 08:46 AM |
| 17 | (please no discourse) My periods have been seriously messed up since getting the jab. How can I get my fertility tested/measured before I marry, just in case?I would suggest getting the book Take Charge of Your Fertility. Getting hormones levels checked isn’t a bad idea. But tracking your cycle would also give you a lot of insight. You’ll be able to see if/when you are ovulating. You can bring that info to the doctor as well :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/10/21 07:56 PM |
| 29 | I can feel my sex drive DIE when my BF vents about his insecurities :|Being married to a man who exudes confidence (even though I know many times he is not) is amazing. I’m very attracted to him because he just stands up straight and gets to work at whatever it is. Even when he’s frustrated that he can’t figure something out he doesn’t seem insecure about it. Nothing I ever did (at least as far as I know) made him that way. I would put forward the idea that dating is exactly there for this reason. If you don’t respect him now - you won’t. He isn’t going to change … | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/10/21 09:19 PM |
| 4 | Advice: my HV fiancé wants to be in a polyamory relationship this is 100% against who I am. I am desperately searching for advice.Let him make the decision. Set your boundary (which is a firm no) and then he can decide if he wants to stay. Don’t be so desperate that you give up on a core value for him - that’s certainly nothing attractive either. | /r/RedPillWives | 12/10/21 08:09 PM |
| 4 | When did you decide to quit your job after you found out that you were pregnant?Congrats!! I waited until I was far into my second trimester when I quit :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/10/21 06:52 PM |
| 4 | Learn to cry?While I recognize that we hold our men in very high esteem here - it’s okay to recognize that he may just not be good in this area. Following his lead is good. But eradicating your own emotions to make him less uncomfortable isn’t good. Best of luck to you ❤️😊. | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/10/21 03:04 AM |
| 2 | Learn to cry?I’ve done a lot of work in regards to codependency and what not. And I’ve learned it’s okay for there to be space for me too in the relationship. However I then still have to respect that he may not be respond the way I’d like him to. For example, I can express that I am sad. But to have the expectation that he will respond in the way I want him to or I will get mad is not okay. My boundary is that I need space to express my emotions. I also respect his boundaries and what he is comfortable with… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/10/21 02:54 AM |
| 2 | Learn to cry?There are definitely things I know not to bother my husband with but instead to go to my sister or mom. I struggle with being very tired for example and he really hates to hear me complain about it. Interestingly enough - the less I complain, the more compassionate he becomes. Complaining spurs a man to action - like here’s something you need to fix. We women can vent all day and just complain and we feel closer to each other. For men it does the opposite. And it leaves them feeling powerless. I… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/10/21 02:38 AM |
| 5 | Learn to cry?I was discussing this with my husband. He said it’s less about the woman and more about the man and his response to it. And it also depends on the scenario and what the woman is getting upset over. For example when my dad passed away I didn’t have to say anything - he just grabbed me and held me. I just had to say “my dad died”. Now if I was upset over missing a TV show or trying to get something I want - that would feel childish or even manipulative. | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/10/21 02:11 AM |
| 1 | Learn to cry?I quickly learned not to cry as a kid. My sister would tease me about it. I very rarely cried in front of my husband (if at all, even alone). It actually bothered him (unlike the first reply) that I didn’t cry because he thought I didn’t trust him to be vulnerable around him. Now he is the only person that ever sees me cry I think a teaching a church really helped me. Many times our initial reaction is protection (so for example anger - we react in anger to protect ourselves. When in reality we … | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/10/21 11:47 PM |
| 14 | Has anyone undergone fertility testing prior to LTR?For my husband and I - we looked at it as one of those “worst” things in the vows. Just something we would have gone through together. I imagine you could check with the doctor. But sometimes until one starts trying, you won’t know if it’ll take. | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/10/21 11:37 PM |
| 4 | Tea TimeWe all had covid about 6 months ago. And I’m vaccinated. So I’m not too worried about any risk of serious illness. It just means all our plans for the week are put on hold. Thankfully the sick kid woke up without a fever this morning, but still felt a little sick. All the kids have been a little stuffy they last couple days. I think it’s just a small cold. | /r/RedPillWives | 06/10/21 07:22 PM |
| 7 | Tea TimeI’m really tired. I’ve been working out a lot. Eating less. Scale is up (so much fun!) Oldest is home from school in quarantine because of covid exposure and his little sister woke up last night with a fever… I know I am whiny and post when I’m annoyed lol. Things overall have been going good. Just a set back. And I’m being sulky about it. | /r/RedPillWives | 06/10/21 12:51 PM |
| 4 | Was I right to intervene or should I have STFUKids absolutely learn how to get what they want by manipulation. No they wouldn’t see it that way. But a 9 month old who gets mom’s attention by crying, will definitely cry to get mom’s attention. Now obviously at 9 month - you go get your baby and give lots of attention. Until it’s the point where they need to learn how to self soothe and get sleep. Then you let them cry for a little bit. But my 5 year old can clean up her room. Not entirely by herself but she can absolutely pick up her toys. T… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/10/21 12:11 AM |
| 6 | Was I right to intervene or should I have STFUThere’s a lot of assumptions based on one scenario she’s describing. Yes, I am giving OP the benefit of the doubt that she married a decent human being. And it doesn’t sound like this is a recurring issue. My children cry for attention and to manipulate emotions. Am I talking about a newborn? No. I’m talking about my 5 year old. Who sat and cried in a chair over a slightly bumped knee to get me to stop what I was doing to come check on her. All parent screw up their kids. | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/10/21 11:20 PM |
| 66 | Was I right to intervene or should I have STFUI have four kids. My husband would be furious if I did that. Yes he loses his temper (I have also). However her being sad isn’t enough of an excuse to step in an undermine his authority with her. If she cries and you step in it makes daddy the big, bad guy. All she has to do is cry and get mommy to run in there and now she doesn’t have to do her chores. Now I’m not saying he is right either. But you take him aside and say “you sound kinda harsh”. My husband has gone back and apologized to the ki… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/10/21 08:44 PM |
| 2 | Should I be concerned if a man doesn't think sex has to be deep / emotional?Since you are a Christian, I suggest listening to this https://www.voddiebaucham.org/sermons/ephesus-family-conference-session-1/. He covers why we as Christians shouldn’t marry non Christians. But sure - it’s possible to take the emotion out of sex. I don’t think it’s good or right, but yeah it happens. | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/10/21 04:45 PM |
| 2 | Husband sleeps in till late on weekends, even if we've got daytime plans?If the plan was his idea - then I’d express my hurt over that fact that he didn’t follow through. Maybe the next time he makes plans, maybe suggest they get made later in the day or the night before mention how much you’re looking forward to it. And ask him to go to bed a little earlier so he can be awake in time for them. I think if it were to continue after that, I would tell him straight forward that you’d rather not make the plans in advance since he sleeps in on those days anyway and you en… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/10/21 08:40 AM |
| 11 | Husband sleeps in till late on weekends, even if we've got daytime plans?Are you planning these dates or is he planning them? I’m going to assume you’re planning them because otherwise it wouldn’t make sense that he would miss them. Personally my husband likes to unwind with video games and then sleep late on weekends. He is incredibly hard working during the week. It doesn’t make him depressed or anything else. I just know that I can’t make plans for the weekend for us. He hates that. It is either something I go do or it’s something that he wants to do also. Otherwi… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/10/21 11:00 AM |
| 2 | Can men ever do “enough?”I am a woman (wife, mom). My husband has worked a lot to keep me from having to work more than I do (I used to be only a stay at home mom, I work part time now). I look as his working as being a loving, doting father. Yes when he is home he is present and enjoys being with the kids (he didn’t have that as a kid with his dad). When he is working I view that as being a great dad and husband. It gives us what we need (and most of what we want). He’s teaching our kids life lessons by getting up and … | /r/MensRights | 30/09/21 11:37 AM |
| 2 | I made a comment by mistake. Now I've emasculated him for his current financial situation. How to move forward?You aren’t married. If he can’t provide reliably that’s not a great sign. He sounds like a professional gambler. I made a comment to my husband about riding his motorcycle outside the limits of his permit. I asked him if something were to happen to him, would insurance cover it? And if he were to die, would we get life insurance? I apologized for having to ask it. He said, “no it’s right to be concerned about you and the kids. You brought it up respectfully. There’s no need to apologize “. While… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/09/21 06:40 PM |
| 3 | Tea TimeIt’s been getting better. It is hard…. Last night I went for a walk and he joined me! He never walks with me! | /r/RedPillWives | 28/09/21 10:19 AM |
| 7 | If your man told you he needed sexual variety and wants to sleep with other women, but still being dedicated to you, would you be okay with it?My husband used to listen to that. He had told me that and he said it was bullshit. He was listening again later and I said, “you know that show is totally beneath you. It’s about a bunch of immature guys that just want to f*ck a bunch of girls. They don’t care about having a wife a kids. “. If he’s listening to it I leave the room because I can’t stand the way they talk about women. I haven’t heard him listening to it in a while (he may just not listen around me). | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/09/21 07:01 PM |
| 3 | For the Old Ladies: Laura Doyle is not real lifeI guess I’m confused. Where does Laura Doyle say our husbands will make every right decision? She just says to respect him in spite of the wrong decisions. And to let him have his own consequences for his wrong decisions instead of fixing them for him (like his mom would). She also doesn’t say to submit. She says to say “I can’t” when it’s something we know will cause resentment for us. So if he says “hey can you make my lunches” we should say, “I can’t”. That’s not submission at all. And yes be… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/09/21 11:17 PM |
| 2 | Back to Basics September: Lessons from Fido on how to be a good first mateSo two questions: 1) what if we don’t have a good sex life (he’s the cause, not me)? And 2) he doesn’t plan things to go along with? I make 99.9% of any plans. And now that I haven’t in a while - we haven’t done anything (even with me saying, “I love a date with you”) | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/09/21 09:18 PM |
| 8 | Tea TimeI’m tired today. A good tired. But tired nonetheless. My sister was visiting over the last 5 days or so. I haven’t had a moment to catch my breath or so it has seemed. This morning I started off with yoga after laying in bed a little later than usual. I’m working in focusing on self care and taking care of my own needs. Which has been tough. Had a disagreement with my husband over the weekend wherein he felt disrespected by my tone of voice. I told him my intention was to tease (which he had bee… | /r/RedPillWives | 22/09/21 01:05 PM |
| 9 | Maintaining a clean homeI have to remind myself that things get messy because they get used. We use dishes and messy up the kitchen, we just have a regular evening routine to clean it up again. We wear clothes and they get washed. We use our homes and they get messy. Having a regular clean up time daily manages the mess. Kids play with toys. They pull pillows off to bounce on them. Before dinner you can put on music and a timer and do a quick clean up. You could get rid of all the toys and you’ll never have a mess (obv… | /r/RedPillWives | 21/09/21 01:31 PM |
| 1 | Workout routine ?I suggest the podcast we only look thin. Exercise can help, but diet is more important. Getting movement in is fine (walking). | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/09/21 10:16 AM |
| 21 | Trying to not nag my boyfriendHave you ever had a sex life? If he’s constantly masturbating he obviously has a sex drive. He sounds incredibly selfish. Having sexual needs as a woman isn’t unbecoming or masculine. In fact it’s the opposite. Noticed you answered these already. Okay so since you aren’t married I will answer it differently than if you were. Is this how you want to rest of your life to be? Hoping he will have sex with you instead of watching porn and jerking off? I don’t care about the rest of the relationship a… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/09/21 06:36 PM |
| 2 | Update to things…Thank you ❤️. Things have been better actually. I think me putting me effort into my own pursuits has been good for my mental well-being. Ive been working on my boundaries which has been fruitful and I think my own self respect has (at least in my mind) garnered more respect from my husband. | /r/RedPillWives | 15/09/21 10:42 AM |
| 8 | Losing Baby weight...You could work on small changes - adding more fruits and veggies. Maybe just start tracking what you’re eating now and get a baseline (I’ve always fought doing this - but I finally gave in and it gave me some really useful information). Maybe start with some exercise. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/09/21 11:47 AM |
| 16 | Losing Baby weight...I’ve been listening to We Only Look Thin podcast for some really good weight loss advice. In the end though needing to burn more calories than you bring in (while keeping up your milk supply) is the key. There’s no secret beyond that. Is your supply pretty established at this point? I wouldn’t try anything if that’s a concern still. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/09/21 11:24 AM |
| 5 | Husband can be distant & cold at timesI’ve been struggling with the same thing! I listened to the book Boundaries in Marriage (which sounds eerily similar to many things Laura Doyle talks about, just from a different perspective). I had an “aha moment” when I recognized that I can’t control his emotions. Which is obvious and I knew that logically of course. But when I recognized it in myself as being controlling it was like, “eww who is this person I’ve become”. And when I keep pushing and pushing its 1) desperate and needy (not att… | /r/RedPillWives | 09/09/21 11:14 AM |
| 37 | What are your thoughts of Jordan Peterson?I love him but most of Reddit hates him. | /r/MensRights | 08/09/21 01:06 AM |
| 3 | Update to things…Thank you. I think a lot of it was just realizing my own behavior and actions. I have not listened to her podcast. I’ve seen several posts talking about it so I think I’ll give it a listen :) | /r/RedPillWives | 07/09/21 06:48 PM |
| 3 | What do I even do with this information?Thank you :) I literally just posted an update! | /r/RedPillWives | 07/09/21 02:48 PM |
| 3 | What do I even do with this information?It’s interesting because he was the one that brought it up. He said that as a man he sees other women and thinks “sex”. He just doesn’t look at me and think “sex”. I did ask then if that meant over the last few year he looked at other women that way (when he was telling me “I don’t know why I just don’t want sex”, to which he said “hell yeah of course. I just don’t act on it because of self control”. | /r/RedPillWives | 05/09/21 02:37 PM |
| 10 | What do I even do with this information?Thank you for all the feedback. I think that’s the conclusion I’ve come to. Recognizing that it doesn’t matter how much I’m putting in - I can’t change him. It’s like I’ve been pushing and working and striving for his affection and love. At no point did he fee the need to pursue me or to work on things himself. It’s always been me trying to be better. I really don’t even want to have sex with him at this point. | /r/RedPillWives | 05/09/21 12:51 PM |
| 12 | What do I even do with this information?The sex started going away when I was about 165-170. Part of my weight gain was (again my fault) from the stress in our marriage and the rejection around sex. He claims if I had been eating better and working out that he would feel differently. But I have done that. I work with a dietitian - eating better and going to the gym regularly but it didn’t change anything. When covid shut down the gym I stopped going and my weight loss plateaued. But I lost 25 lbs in that time. I’ve been working on it … | /r/RedPillWives | 05/09/21 11:31 AM |
| 8 | Advice for avoiding burnout?I will answer your question (but I’ve got a few for you too): how long have you been dating? Is there a long term commitment? Why does he have husband benefits if you aren’t married? As for burnout: have a routine. You do need to be flexible in planning because things can happen, but you need some structure. And that includes rest and downtime. It needs to be scheduled. have realistic expectations around your time and what you can do. How long should meal prep take? How clean is clean enough? ta… | /r/RedPillWives | 05/09/21 12:25 AM |
| 3 | AnxietyThank you for your input. I was very jumpy like that also when I was taking meds. Thankfully it seems to have resolved. | /r/RedPillWives | 03/09/21 05:19 PM |
| 2 | AnxietyThank you. I just started physical therapy for an injury and the thought of trying to find a therapist for mental health just seems daunting. I was on a very low dose which seemed to work pretty well. My husband is just really uncomfortable with the idea of them at all. But he’s willing to support my decision. | /r/RedPillWives | 03/09/21 05:18 PM |
| 0 | How can I learn to be less childish? I'm a chronic over-thinker with weak boundaries.12 Rules for life is a good book to start with. Just watching through his lectures or snippets of them on YouTube is good. If there’s a specific thing you’re looking for to work on I might be able to help point you in a specific direction | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/09/21 11:46 PM |
| 6 | How can I learn to be less childish? I'm a chronic over-thinker with weak boundaries.How old are you? I would suggest listening/reading to Jordan Peterson. | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/09/21 11:12 AM |
| 9 | Extreme sex positivityI’m married and I don’t send nudes to my husband because you just never know who can get them! | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/08/21 05:05 PM |
| 1 | What are you reading, listening to, watching?Anxiety sucks. Sorry you’re dealing with that :( | /r/RedPillWives | 31/08/21 02:34 PM |
| 2 | What are you reading, listening to, watching?Absolutely! I never learned why I was a Christian as a child. Just “you must have faith”. I have been learning more theology as I’ve gotten older and working on teaching my children the same. | /r/RedPillWives | 31/08/21 01:21 PM |
| 2 | What is “Toxic Masculinity”??Toxic masculinity is a bullshit phrase to put down traditionally masculine traits. Telling a guy to man up - is right. He needs to put his shoulders back and be decisive. Saying it’s “man up” versus “person up” makes it toxic… (but again that’s bullshit). How dare one man encourage another man to stand up for himself and his wife! (Ps I’m a woman and I’m very happy when my husband “man’s up and takes charge”. It’s sexy). | /r/MensRights | 31/08/21 02:10 AM |
| 3 | What are you reading, listening to, watching?Oh that is a great one. | /r/RedPillWives | 30/08/21 09:37 PM |
| 3 | What are you reading, listening to, watching?I will start it off! Reading: I started Mama Bear Apologetics. I am about halfway through The Lazy Genius Way, and I’ve been flipping through decorating books to get ideas. I also started a new book on prayer. As for fiction - im reading The Rose Code (ssoooo good!!). I am also slowly, slowly making my way through Fascinating Womanhood (it’s like a revolving book - I just keep going through it). Watching: Survivor reruns mostly lol. We decided to get rid of Netflix so im not getting into any new… | /r/RedPillWives | 30/08/21 09:16 PM |
| 4 | Surrendered circle support group?What is slack (sorry I’m old apparently)? If I can figure out how to use it, I’m in! | /r/RedPillWives | 30/08/21 09:09 PM |
| 2 | Respecting your manWhat things that helps me is to frame it in the opposite. Would you like him to remind you of something like that? | /r/RedPillWives | 28/08/21 08:56 PM |
| 200 | What did Jeff Bezos' wife and Bill Gates' wife do to deserve so much of their husbands' hard earned money in divorce settlements?In the past when a woman was 100% financially dependent upon their husband (so essentially her “salary” for housekeeping and child rearing was whatever their husband supported them with) getting something in a divorce was to protect women. Which makes sense in the context of both men and women having roles and expectations upon them. However with women being their own breadwinner it doesn’t make any sense. | /r/MensRights | 26/08/21 07:06 PM |
| 2 | Im so nervous.Perhaps talking to the doctor about how nervous you are. Is there anyone else that could at least drive you (I know with covid many places are limiting visitors beyond the patient). They might even be able to prescribe something to calm you. Also I was so nervous to fly - I used the Calm meditation app and it helped soooo much (the flight there was really hard without it). So maybe headphones and a meditation? | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/08/21 05:03 PM |
| 1 | Help with resentment, please.He says that he is. Whether I am not seeing it because of resentment or he isn’t being totally truthful - I’m not sure. | /r/RedPillWives | 26/08/21 12:57 PM |
| 10 | Tea TimeToday was the first day of school. Yesterday everyone went to bed last night at a great time, my husband passed out on the couch, and I had the whole house to myself from 8:30 on. It was wonderful. Had no idea how badly I just needed quiet. I ended up staying up too late. But I got a bath in, some meditation/Bible study, stretching & foam rolling, and watching stupid survivor reruns. So I have to figure out how to finagle some quiet time in this house full of people! Back to school starting: I f… | /r/RedPillWives | 25/08/21 02:34 PM |
| 1 | Why do women push for marriage to later initiate 70-80% of divorces?Curious where you’re getting the 90% stat… https://singlemotherguide.com/single-mother-statistics/ What I found. | /r/MensRights | 25/08/21 12:45 AM |
| 1 | Why do women push for marriage to later initiate 70-80% of divorces?I think there are many conflicting issues around gender roles and marriage and many other things that cause issues. It’s not even as black and white as I laid out here I would argue. Men are still expected to protect and provide, but women eschew any expectations upon them. How many woman say, “choose whatever you want - work or stay home with the kids”. While men aren’t given that choice typically (becoming more common now). But men who DO stay at home tend to not be as respected because they a… | /r/MensRights | 24/08/21 08:13 PM |
| 3 | Why do women push for marriage to later initiate 70-80% of divorces?Yes I’m just saying if my husband took that advice he wouldn’t have married me! | /r/MensRights | 24/08/21 08:03 PM |
| 3 | Why do women push for marriage to later initiate 70-80% of divorces?Perhaps, but nearly every comment on a Facebook post is “oh this poor single mom she works so hard.” And many times women will use that as a sympathy card. I’m not saying it’s easy to be a single mom (I had one of those too). It tends to elicit lots of sympathy and “oh wow you’re so strong “. That’s why lots of women choose specifically to be single moms and have babies without a father present at all. | /r/MensRights | 24/08/21 07:49 PM |
| 1 | Looking for advice from RPW, as a ManMarry who you have not their potential. Obviously this can’t apply universally, but essentially if you want to marry a woman with a higher education and values that - then don’t expect someone who doesn’t want that to do it later on in life. Because if she never does you may become very resentful and angry toward her. If you can accept that might not be her goal ultimately and can be content with that - then that’s different. My husband was hoping for a Suzy Homemaker and well I hate cleaning. I… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/08/21 07:46 PM |
| 2 | Why do women push for marriage to later initiate 70-80% of divorces?As a married female, I would disagree 🤷🏻♀️😊 But to each his own. | /r/MensRights | 24/08/21 07:43 PM |
| 4 | Why do women push for marriage to later initiate 70-80% of divorces?Single mother’s in the last 15/20 years are seen as heroic almost always. Even if they aren’t technically parenting alone (have 50/50 custody for example). Then if they can say their kid has autism or ADHD they reach sainthood level. | /r/MensRights | 24/08/21 07:42 PM |
| 3 | Why do women push for marriage to later initiate 70-80% of divorces?I think the historically societal pressure on men to be stoic and be the protector/provider is part of the reason women file more often than men. I know plenty of women who divorced without any financial gain. | /r/MensRights | 24/08/21 07:41 PM |
| 11 | Looking for advice from RPW, as a ManYou should have a plan B if something should happen to you. Take responsibility for your family and get life insurance. Traditional would be her staying home with the kids. Does that require a ton of higher education? What if she has a baby and doesn’t want to leave him/her in daycare? Does it make sense for her to spend the money & time on that when you are willing to provide for the family? If you want to marry her - marry her as she is without the hope that she will do/be something else. My h… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/08/21 03:57 PM |
| 555 | Why do women push for marriage to later initiate 70-80% of divorces?My two cents (from a woman’s perspective): women want the big, fairy tale wedding and perhaps settle for someone they shouldn’t have or just don’t understand what marriage takes beyond the wedding. it is more profitable, as someone else mentioned, for women to get divorced. They have less to lose therefore are more willing to “pull the trigger” so to speak women have been lied to and accepted the lie that we can have and do it all. They end up not happy and blame the easiest person to blame - th… | /r/MensRights | 24/08/21 03:00 PM |
| 1 | Help with resentment, please.He was. He was really into physical touch so he would always be holding my hand or cuddling. He would tell me often how grateful he was that I was his wife. We would also be very flirty and playful. I would reciprocate these sorts of things as well (not one sides or anything). We also would have sex 3-4 times a week. Whereas now it’s maybe twice a month. | /r/RedPillWives | 24/08/21 12:05 PM |
| 2 | Help with resentment, please.Switched it | /r/RedPillWives | 23/08/21 09:54 PM |
| 1 | Help with resentment, please.Sorry took for granted that I’ve written a ton of posts here. I’ll take a look and update | /r/RedPillWives | 23/08/21 09:14 PM |
| 1 | Is it a core tenet in the RedPill sphere that the woman in a heterosexual relationship doesn't work, only works part time, or only works from home (or some combination of the two)?Not to butt in to a conversation, but I think that’s where redpill wives/women differ from straight redpill. Well excuse me not differ. More or less use to our advantage. It’s usually not advisable to go after a fully “alpha” guy. Finding a guy who is a mix is ideal. Now my husband has been listening to various redpill type YouTube channels and has come away with having these distinct roles. If he’s the provider then I’m supposed to be the nurturer (particularly is creating the home & raising th… | /r/RedPillWives | 23/08/21 06:06 PM |
| 2 | Is it a core tenet in the RedPill sphere that the woman in a heterosexual relationship doesn't work, only works part time, or only works from home (or some combination of the two)?If that works for you then that’s exactly what you ought to do :) | /r/RedPillWives | 21/08/21 10:54 PM |
| 14 | Is it a core tenet in the RedPill sphere that the woman in a heterosexual relationship doesn't work, only works part time, or only works from home (or some combination of the two)?I think you take whatever you’d like from redpill and leave whatever you’d like. At least as far as I understand it tends to be the wife’s role to create the home and the man’s the provide. Much of modern relationships say split that 50/50. I personally have a drive (beyond having children) to create a nice home for my husband and myself. It think that might be tough to take on if I worked full time. I work part time and have kids so it does make it very difficult to manage. But again - you take… | /r/RedPillWives | 21/08/21 10:44 PM |
| 4 | My partner doesn't acknowledge how hard I'm tryingI would suggest reading the surrendered Wife by Laura Doyle. She talks about how to approach these things in a very gracious way. Sometimes a blunt talk isn’t the ideal tactic to take ;) Also if you are working full time (I’m assuming you’re contributing something financially), then the care of the house ought to be split. | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/08/21 02:42 PM |
| 15 | My partner doesn't acknowledge how hard I'm tryingI would say - the house maintenance IS HIS JOB.I wouldn’t do anything else regarding the AC or those things. I would graciously let him know the next time something happens - hey the AC isn’t working. I wouldn’t even ask him to do it. I would just put it out there. Is there a particular reason you chose to pick up these tasks? Laura Doyle talks about this in regard to finances. We think “well someone has to do it so I guess I will”. But do YOU have to be the one to do them? Why have you chosen t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/08/21 01:24 PM |
| 0 | How are you all doing?I feel like I’m making progress in many areas I’ve tried to work on for years. I’ve had to just be really honest with myself to figure out why I wasn’t doing them before. I have my good days and my terrible days. Overall I think I’m moving forward on that road :) | /r/RedPillWives | 20/08/21 09:48 PM |
| 1 | How are you all doing?Oh just a big wake up call on my part. Realizing the wrongs I’ve done in my marriage instead of blaming my husband for everything. Working on some self improvement (keeping routines to keep the house clean, disciplining the kids better instead of being wishy washy, losing weight, etc). Been a very long hard road. | /r/RedPillWives | 20/08/21 04:15 PM |
| 1 | How are you all doing?Congratulations! :) you’d have to read my post history to see all the drama going on with me lol. | /r/RedPillWives | 20/08/21 01:00 PM |
| 2 | Help me be a better wifeI understand now what you mean. I can see how it all ties in. But if someone was really sold into a particular ideology they may make body changes to fit that. Like intuitive eating/HAES. Someone coming out of that might need to lose weight (ahem not me of course 🙄). It’s a big transition and could be worked through with a pro. | /r/RedPillWives | 19/08/21 03:36 PM |
| 4 | Help me be a better wifeI’ve had to “detox” majorly over the last year from feminism. AND I wouldn’t have even called myself a feminist! I balked at the idea of having a “role”, but had zero issue with my husband taking on a defined role. Yes mental health plays into it and is affected by it - but it current politics does play into it. | /r/RedPillWives | 19/08/21 03:13 PM |
| 2 | Tea TimeSpending my day decluttering and cleaning! Prepping for the upcoming homeschool year. | /r/RedPillWives | 19/08/21 01:57 PM |
| 9 | How do you exit dry spells and tough times with grace?I think it sounds like you need to put sex on the calendar. Like full on scheduled sex. And be flexible if it shifts because of his work (emergencies only please). BUT I wouldn’t take “well I have to study for this long first”. If it’s planned and on the calendar he can figure out his study schedule to fit around that instead of the other way around. If you haven’t yet, make en effort to read (or even reread) Fascinating Womanhood. While you shouldn’t feel neglected all the time there are a few … | /r/RedPillWives | 19/08/21 01:25 PM |
| 3 | Struggling with the sexual aspect of my relationship - feel like a man eater.Sex is such a tough subject. It is a healthy part of a relationship. But it can get out of control. My husband likens it to a fire. It’s warm and comforting when it’s in a fireplace or a candle is lit. But raging and destructive when it’s out of control . Best of luck to you. | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/08/21 12:31 PM |
| 11 | Help me be a better wifeTake it a day at a time :) I’m in a position where I was a terrible wife for 12/13 years of marriage (not 100% terrible, but pretty bad). It takes a while to turn the ship around and there will be set backs. Staying the course and keep moving forward! I’ve found listing my priorities and focusing on making (small) steps in those areas to be helpful. For example, my main priority is my relationship with God as a Christian (and the other things stem from that). So I work on daily listening to and … | /r/RedPillWives | 19/08/21 11:47 AM |
| 5 | I feel like a failure :)I would at least suggest homeschooling versus getting a GED (check out easy peasy and/or khan academy for free options). Depending on your state you can get a high school diploma and you get to socialize with other homeschoolers. If there’s a Christian homeschool community you will probably find other somewhat likeminded young ladies. Being a homemaker and housewife and having an education are not opposite each other by any means (especially a high school education - I could understand not wanti… | /r/RedPillWives | 17/08/21 06:12 PM |
| 1 | Tired of mixed messagesHe thought it would be too much to add to the schedule but said if I took care of it then I could sign them up. | /r/RedPillWives | 17/08/21 05:59 PM |
| 1 | Tired of mixed messagesWe had a really good conversation last night - and I think some of it is the “Pandora’s Box”. I told him I didn’t understand what he meant by how he would be resentful toward me about taking on chores. He explained (and said he should have clarified) that if I wasn’t working then he would be angry at me. He does think that if I’m working he needs to take on some of my “role”. He has concerns though that it will stay that way once I can stop working again. So the fears I had about being resentful… | /r/RedPillWives | 17/08/21 01:58 PM |
| 2 | Tired of mixed messagesHe’s had on going issues for most of his life. It wasn’t a new thing. When he is under extreme stress it flairs up. He still struggles with it now but he manages it (for example he believes the bathroom shower is leaking. There is absolutely no indication that it is leaking - however he wakes up every morning in a panic that the faucet is leaking. We are about to spend 3 grand to remodel the bathroom so he can stop worrying about it. He can’t even eat in the mornings because of it. He obsessivel… | /r/RedPillWives | 16/08/21 11:35 PM |
| 4 | Tired of mixed messagesOCD manifests in different ways and I’m not going to argue whether it was or not. We were told by various mental health professionals that he fit the diagnosis of OCD. And yes while he didn’t click the light switch many times- it showed up in many other ways. He doesn’t want therapy and has chosen not to go that route. He had a doctor make him feel embarrassed (he had an extreme aversion to bodily fluids make sex just about completely impossible). I can’t make it go. He listened to a psychologis… | /r/RedPillWives | 16/08/21 11:02 PM |
| 1 | Tired of mixed messagesI didn’t get into the OCD because it would make an already long story much, much longer. He started fixating on various things in the house (for example our basement floor is asbestos tile). He fixated on it to the point where any conversation NOT about that issue was impossible. He nailed shut the basement door even after consulting various experts saying the tile was fine. He thought the kids and I would die if we stayed in the house. I refused to leave and he sort of held on to that as being … | /r/RedPillWives | 16/08/21 09:24 PM |
| 3 | Tired of mixed messagesThat’s when he jumps in and says he’d rather do the cleaning than spend the money for someone else to do it. Trust me - I’d love to have someone come in a do the deep cleaning stuff for me!! | /r/RedPillWives | 16/08/21 05:40 PM |
| 10 | Bothered watching red pill YouTubeI have a husband and we waited until we were married. I didn’t say you had to absolutely wait until marriage. There’s the difference between waiting 3 months for exclusivity and the first date (sometimes not even the first date now!). But I sure as heck think if you play into these guys’ plans that doesn’t work either. Men hold the keys to commitment while women hold the keys to sex. Hopefully he’s see the value that she’s putting on herself now by not just putting out because he wants sex. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/08/21 05:39 PM |
| 2 | Tired of mixed messagesThank you. I think you’re right. I need to just do what I can and let the rest fall where it may. It is his choice to react the way he does. Not mine. | /r/RedPillWives | 16/08/21 04:58 PM |
| 1 | Tired of mixed messagesI have. :) | /r/RedPillWives | 16/08/21 04:35 PM |
| 1 | Tired of mixed messagesYep! The kids do chores. Ive mentioned in another comment that it isn’t so much all the stuff I have to do, but more that it’s not recognized and that he’s angry if some stuff doesn’t get done. Or at least he doesn’t tell me he’s angry but it’ll come through as not talking to me or not having sex or just not being present. For example when I make breakfast he will say “oh you didn’t have to do that. Or don’t worry about it”. But then why was he so angry with me for not having breakfast made? I u… | /r/RedPillWives | 16/08/21 04:35 PM |
| 2 | Tired of mixed messagesI have a morning routine where I: unload the dishwasher, do any left over dishes in the sink from the evening before, start laundry and do some tidying up some. I try to vacuum several times a week (with the dog we need to) or get the kids to vacuum. Kids have set chores before they can play video games like wiping down the dining room table and getting their rooms cleaned up, sweeping, putting away stuff that’s been left out. They have bigger chores like once a week (cleaning bathroom, cleaning… | /r/RedPillWives | 16/08/21 04:30 PM |
| 2 | Tired of mixed messages:) You’re right. I’m frustrated. I actually love what I do and I’m happy to be doing it. Almost all of my anger is stemming from my husband’s response. He has offered to take some off my hands. But he offered before and then he ends up angry and resentful toward me. He seems to think this is OK. But if we go anywhere near how it was for the last 5 years (it’s been gradually getting better) then I seriously don’t think I could stay married to him. It doesn’t seem like I’m doing things out of love… | /r/RedPillWives | 16/08/21 04:24 PM |
| 3 | Tired of mixed messages13, 11, 8, & 4 They do many chores. Sometimes it takes some arm twisting and time outs and such. The older two are going off to school with has its benefits and it’s cons - their schooling is off my plate besides supervising homework. But their help during the day is gone. | /r/RedPillWives | 16/08/21 04:15 PM |
| 5 | Tired of mixed messagesI’m not trying to sound argumentative in the least, I promise. I’ve scoured and gotten rid of anything I can (and wracked with guilt in the process). I’ve done a lot of decluttering so it makes keeping things tidy a bit easier. And getting the kids to pick up after themselves has been a huge help. | /r/RedPillWives | 16/08/21 04:08 PM |
| 2 | Tired of mixed messagesCo-op is socializing for my girls and classes I don’t teach at home Girl Scouts could go - but another social outlet for my very extroverted girl… did stop leading though Boy Scouts is driving the boys there and having an hour and a half to myself OR my husband takes them and I do things at home. Work isn’t entirely optional but what really gets in the way of taking care of things at home…. But can’t take that off yet. Church - my husband has asked me to go (I stopped going a while ago to have a… | /r/RedPillWives | 16/08/21 03:56 PM |
| 9 | Bothered watching red pill YouTubeNot who you replied to, but I like Suzanne Venker. She has lots of guests so you can go down a rabbit hole looking into their content. I started listening to Classically Abby after hearing her on Suzanne’s show :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/08/21 03:23 PM |
| 36 | Bothered watching red pill YouTubeI’d say that’s why all the more we women have to be carefully vetting. Don’t have sex. Seriously. Until there either a ring or a serious commitment (I say wait for marriage but whatever). And don’t have 3 year long relationships. Have 6 month relationships until you’ve found one worth marrying. Watch out for yourself don’t expect a guy to watch out for you. If he’s worth your time he’ll be content to wait to have sex. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/08/21 02:57 PM |
| 6 | Tired of mixed messagesYes! I think you summed it up. He doesn’t want to see the hard work I’m doing but rather just have it done. Seeing me actually staying up late to do the things he’s asked is different than it just being done when he isn’t home to see it. He usually takes the boys to Boy Scouts, but not always. He said if I signed them up then I was responsible for getting them there. I did back off on leading a troop for the Girl Scouts this year because I knew I couldn’t handle it (and feeling horribly guilty a… | /r/RedPillWives | 16/08/21 02:34 PM |
| 2 | Tired of mixed messagesI’ve tried to reassess :( The only “optional” thing for me is getting the cleaning done on a level that makes my husband happy. That’s what I’ve always left off in the past. Apparently while I thought he was happy with things, I was mistaken and he was just slowly building up resentment until it burst. But since that’s the huge sticking point that’s the thing I cannot give up. I would quit work in a heartbeat if I could. He doesn’t seem to think I do all that much… and it’s just my discipline an… | /r/RedPillWives | 16/08/21 02:06 PM |
| 5 | Tired of mixed messagesI went to massage school with massage being a sort of “fall back” or even a hobby. It was never intended to be an income source. But then to buy a house it became a necessity. Now we rely partly on my income. We are working toward me quitting at this point (being home for 4 months when things were shut down highlighted the need for me to quit). My husband got a promotion/raise at work at which point he is nearly “there”. He also doesn’t want me to quit just yet because we need to do some major r… | /r/RedPillWives | 16/08/21 01:08 PM |
| 38 | Struggling with the sexual aspect of my relationship - feel like a man eater.In reading some of your other posts (I didn’t dig in too deep), but surface level? This sounds like WAY beyond anything we can offer you. Sex issues are rarely JUST sex. Sex tends to be a thermostat for the relationship. If there’s something physically that he can point to to say “this is why I don’t want more sex” that’s different. But what I can see that isn’t the case here. Perhaps it’s time to really focus on healing you and figuring those things out for yourself. I struggled a lot with the … | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/08/21 12:11 AM |
| 5 | Advice needed - considering a breakupI think it’s a good sign of good vetting that she’s asking the questions. | /r/RedPillWives | 15/08/21 08:37 PM |
| 4 | Advice needed - considering a breakupI would instead of just breaking up (if you can see a future together, perhaps give him some info on people who are able to do this. It’s typically pretty scary for a man to be the sole provider and often these there aren’t many good examples of it. What he is hearing is that he needs to step up his game (he may not be the right man if he isn’t willing to do so) and be able to provide a roof over the head of his wife and kids. Also - that’s why life insurance & long term disability insurance exi… | /r/RedPillWives | 15/08/21 04:22 PM |
| 2 | I'm Pregnant and Struggling with Telling my MotherI’m reading through some of your replies - and there’s nothing wrong with cutting ties altogether if need be (and not telling her). My mom had to do that with her abusive dad. She never ever wanted him to hurt us kids and she made it clear that no one was to give our info to him. We never had our number in the phone book or any information that he could somehow get (I realize that’s a little harder in this day and age). | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/08/21 04:18 PM |
| 5 | I'm Pregnant and Struggling with Telling my MotherI would ask your husband for help. I would call her or send a little announcement in the mail and let her call you. Then keep the conversation short and informative with your husband right there on speaker phone. If he sees it going badly and you struggling he can take over and say “oh acarter8 needs her rest so we are going.” You’re pregnant and can totally use that an as excuse. It sounds like you owe nothing beyond that to your mom - no arguments or justifications about the choices you’re mak… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/08/21 10:45 AM |
| 27 | At a crossroad with fianceFor me - this would be a deal breaker. Sorry :(. I don’t think there’s a compromise on this. And if something did happen where you forced the issue and did not terminate you would most likely find yourself with an incredibly resentful husband. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/08/21 10:23 PM |
| 3 | the bachelorette and media's portrayal of "not needing men"I think it has become a matter of pride for a woman to say, “I don’t need a man”. For example I can provide for myself, have babies (whether by donor or a baby daddy), own a home, and have everything without the help of a man. Which I suppose certain does have some truth to it. But it isn’t how I think families work best and isn’t the “norm” if we’re honest with ourselves. | /r/RedPillWives | 13/08/21 05:02 PM |
| 4 | Need advise - feeling neglected by high powered career husbandI don’t have experience directly with a husband quite like this. But I will say it’s hard to find time to talk about important things with my husband because he is tired (physically demanding job) and 4 kids for whom we do a lot of running around. Then on weekends I work and he wants to rest. He doesn’t like to talk about highly emotional issues when he or I are tired. Which ends up limiting our time to talk considerably. I will text him and ask when a good time is to talk about something. We wi… | /r/RedPillWives | 13/08/21 04:14 PM |
| 5 | Does the constant Promotion of Females/Girls on TV demoralise boys?I’m a woman 😊. And that’s with my mom being fairly feminist. But I’ve been gradually getting her to see that, no women are crazy oppressed and abused (she did have an abusive dad which explains some of her bias). | /r/MensRights | 13/08/21 11:24 AM |
| 41 | Does the constant Promotion of Females/Girls on TV demoralise boys?The last 2 years have been unbearable in regards to shows and movies. Almost anything new on Netflix has an agenda. It’s so annoying - I end up just turning it off now. I used to be able to watch. But I’m just done. | /r/MensRights | 13/08/21 12:31 AM |
| 22 | Does the constant Promotion of Females/Girls on TV demoralise boys?My mom wouldn’t let us watch those shows for that reason. | /r/MensRights | 13/08/21 12:30 AM |
| 1 | Generalizing vs. Specializing as a RPWoman. Or, How does ambition work for you?Women have drastically lower testosterone levels. They arent equal in men and women at all. This is the episode (I think). https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-suzanne-venker-show/id1471433977?i=1000517624848 | /r/RedPillWives | 12/08/21 10:21 PM |
| 2 | Generalizing vs. Specializing as a RPWoman. Or, How does ambition work for you?I work part time as a massage therapist. So I guess that’s my ambition. It’s funny because I’d like the exact opposite as what you are saying lol. I’d like to devote more time at home to cleaning and what not. Susanne Venker had an interesting podcast regarding woman being able to “multitask”. Being focused for men creates more testosterone & energy versus women for whom being focused for long periods is draining. That isn’t to say you shouldn’t have hobbies or something you’re interested in. I … | /r/RedPillWives | 12/08/21 08:58 PM |
| 6 | Hurt my husband verbally. Help me get back on the right trackMy husband has made jokes like that throughout our marriage. I think most of it is just his sense of humor. My two cents as someone who has definitely gone through something very similar after the birth of our second child - he may seem perfectly okay. But he had to go through all of that with you. He might be a bit jaded and cynical about the changes you’re making. So giving him space to heal and adjust is a good idea (which is sounds like you are doing). I’m reading fascinating Womanhood and s… | /r/RedPillWives | 12/08/21 12:17 AM |
| 1 | Fascinating Womanhood: Love BookletI already wrote one, but I have to gush about my husband for a moment. My father passed away just in the last couple of days. I wasn’t very close to him, but it’s still my dad. My husband stayed up with me until 4am just because I couldn’t sleep. Then yesterday he wouldn’t let me do a thing. He took off work and did everything in the house that I typically do (meals for the kids, laundry - all of it). I am not sure what I expected from him - but he exceeded all of it. When I’ve been appreciative… | /r/RedPillWives | 12/08/21 12:08 AM |
| 3 | Fascinating Womanhood: Love BookletI think it is. She doesn’t water down the message at all and still uses most of the same illustrations & examples from the original. | /r/RedPillWives | 11/08/21 11:20 AM |
| 2 | Fascinating Womanhood: Love BookletI purchased the workbook. I’m enjoying it, but it’s not crazy in depth. It feels a bit like a journal to go along with the assignments in the book. You could realistically purchase the book and just keep a journal to go with it. I have read FW several times - the first time from the library. There are several editions though. The original (which I found at the library) has more religious overtones and lots of Bible verses. When the author’s daughter edited it and republished she took most of tha… | /r/RedPillWives | 11/08/21 11:14 AM |
| 1 | Balancing emotion and logicWhat does “will not explain” mean? This is purely a discussion thread not an argument. No one is being argumentative lol. An explanation is appreciated because it’s a conversation. | /r/RedPillWives | 11/08/21 10:24 AM |
| 10 | Fascinating Womanhood: Love BookletMy husband has been touching me a lot more lately since really doing many of the things in the book. He’ll reach out and put his hand on my back or give me a hug while I’m doing dishes. It’s been really sweet. | /r/RedPillWives | 10/08/21 10:52 PM |
| 3 | Vent about overwhelmHmm that’s really tough. Is decluttering an option? Can you hire someone to help do the deep cleaning? Are there any teenagers in your church that are interested in earning some money in that way? Is meal prepping an option? Perhaps that’s an area your husband could help you with once a month? It feels overwhelming because it is. And I have been there 100%. But getting some direction and some things you can start doing now will help you feel more in control. For example, start with a simple morn… | /r/RedPillWives | 09/08/21 12:37 AM |
| 2 | Vent about overwhelmI work part time and am homeschooling/raising 4 kids. I told my husband I was very overwhelmed by everything but didn’t want to involve him because he works very hard also. He said since I’m working it sort of even out that he helps our more at home. He just needs me to tell him what I need. Are you working toward the ability to stay home? Can you sell your home and find something smaller? I would suggest sitting down and prayerfully consider your top priorities for now and in the future. Perhap… | /r/RedPillWives | 08/08/21 11:48 PM |
| 11 | Would you share him?I wouldn’t marry a man in that range knowing what I know now - because he very well will probably be sleeping around and I wonder if that would be the deal to begin with? I mean not necessarily, don’t get me wrong. But I’m content with the life I have. And I have no idea what it would be like to be in an entirely different social class/sphere. Morals don’t change, but the acceptance of breaking morals tends to go up the wealthier and “higher value” a person goes. (For example if 50 Shades of Gra… | /r/RedPillWives | 03/08/21 11:56 PM |
| 2 | Balancing emotion and logicOoh thank you for that insight ❤️ | /r/RedPillWives | 03/08/21 11:01 PM |
| 3 | Balancing emotion and logicHmm I like that idea. Our emotions aid us in seeing the important and stopping us to pay attention to things we might pass by. | /r/RedPillWives | 03/08/21 09:15 PM |
| 1 | Balancing emotion and logicDefinitely a broad topic and I could have been more specific. But again - I enjoy the discussion - thanks for the thoughtful reply :) | /r/RedPillWives | 03/08/21 09:14 PM |
| 2 | Balancing emotion and logicI see where you’re coming from. My husband isn’t unemotional he just doesn’t value the input from his emotions as say as much as I do. And he does respond emotionally (especially to driving or kids screaming). My first reaction tends to be “how does this make me feel”. And his is “okay how do I fix this?” | /r/RedPillWives | 03/08/21 08:02 PM |
| 1 | Balancing emotion and logicHmm interesting perspective. I would agree that I’m more nurturing and caring about the kids’ feelings and respond to them more emotionally. My husband is more likely to get them to suck it up versus me who will hug them and ask them to tell me about how they feel. Which I would argue both are important. There are moments that you just get through for “survival” and times you get to slow down and process things and “feel” them. | /r/RedPillWives | 03/08/21 07:57 PM |
| 2 | Thoughts Morality, Marriage, and the High Value ManI think that was an excellent write up/summary. Thank you! Personally, as a Christian, I like the idea of those gender roles. And listening to some of these RP guys have helped me see how much our idea of eradicated gender roles just isn’t working. For example - my husband is the provider. That was his expected role (put on himself by himself but also my expectations). My role as a wife is not defined because that is sexist. Even I (who would not define myself as feminist) would balk at the idea… | /r/RedPillWives | 03/08/21 02:16 PM |
| 5 | How did you know you were ready to become a husband/wife?I wasn’t ready but thought I was lol. Thank God for my husband’s patience. We were both young and really grew up together. I really had no interest in dating around and was up front that my goal was looking for a long term relationship/marriage. He agreed so we went a bit fast once we realized we were “in love”. It was an uphill battle the way we did it and there are moments I’ve questioned our sanity. But I don’t regret it after 14 years and 4 kids :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/08/21 07:07 PM |
| 4 | RP and Cheating During Marriage“You don’t need redpill to have a healthy marriage.” Agreed. 100% I was just talking to my husband about this thread and we were talking about how masculinity is so attacked. He thinks redpill is a reaction to things like hashtag kill all men. However he enjoys listening to those guys. He disagrees with a lot of it, but sees some gems hidden there. Even in church, feminism is held aloft so it’s hard to find anything that affirms traditional gender roles. Unfortunately the void is being filled wi… | /r/RedPillWives | 02/08/21 10:52 AM |
| -3 | RP and Cheating During MarriageI can’t figure out the downvotes through this thread. You have totally hit the nail on the head. My guess is from your name your a guy? My husband would probably say the problem is Women trying to see things from a man’s perspective and then emotionally responding when they don’t like it. | /r/RedPillWives | 02/08/21 10:24 AM |
| -7 | RP and Cheating During MarriageI agree. I’m surprised even here that you’re being downvoted. | /r/RedPillWives | 02/08/21 10:22 AM |
| 12 | RP and Cheating During MarriageMy husband has been listening to both Fresh and Fit and Kevin Samuels. He would never label himself as anything, but I’d say he def more redpill than not at this point. But just because he listens doesn’t mean he agrees with all of it. For example he understands why an extremely high value man would cheat, but doesn’t agree that it’s morally right. But it’s inspired him to become more of a leader and to see the differences in men and women. He’s seeing why he’s been uphappy with our marriage ove… | /r/RedPillWives | 02/08/21 10:20 AM |
| 2 | RP and Cheating During MarriageI agree. My husband has gotten really into both of those channels and he has told me that if a man of really high value gets married (he gave the example of Michael Jordan) he is going to cheat. Essentially men tend to not have options, but when you’re that high value women just throw themselves at you. Part of the deal of getting to marry one of those guys is that they will be sleeping with other women. Not that my husband and I agree that it is morally right, but at least the way my husband ex… | /r/RedPillWives | 02/08/21 10:14 AM |
| 2 | Admiring your husband… ideas? examples? suggestions?I’ve been really working on accepting him at face value. I’ve been guilty of trying to “fix” him and not realizing how much harm that’s doing to him and our marriage. I’m working on being more feminine to create that polarization in our marriage - allowing him to be fully masculine. One thing I’m working on is following his lead. I tend to second guess him and ask “are you sure?” So I’m working on keeping my mouth shut when I’m tempted to do that. He is a great husband who asks for my input on l… | /r/RedPillWives | 01/08/21 10:10 PM |
| 2 | RPW/RPGF Soft Skills: Other than being an all around Domestic Goddess, what are some small things, overlooked things or “soft skills” you think more women should learn or utilize?It’s hard, but worth it :) | /r/RedPillWives | 01/08/21 09:57 PM |
| 19 | RPW/RPGF Soft Skills: Other than being an all around Domestic Goddess, what are some small things, overlooked things or “soft skills” you think more women should learn or utilize?Learning to not complain. I was listening to Suzanne Venker and she mentioned not venting to your man. It makes him feel powerless because he likes action versus just complaining. I asked my husband if that was true and he said it was 100% accurate. It’s been something he’s brought up over the years that it makes me seem so unhappy. Learning to not vent to him and complain has actually made my life overall better. I notice I’m more focused on the positive things around me and instead of complain… | /r/RedPillWives | 30/07/21 11:42 PM |
| 3 | My boyfriend says the craziest things sometimes, yet it’s usually funny... Very conflicted.The being silly and fun sure. Not bathing - no thanks. Peeing wherever - absolutely not | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/07/21 02:58 PM |
| 12 | Why do people dislike this community so much?RPW tends to embrace traditional gender roles which is a huge NO for more “mainstream” subs. Red pill also tends to be considered hatred of women (again because they embrace those gender roles). Red pill men tend to be very harsh and brutal especially with other men( not really women friendly). The really far out red pill stuff can be pretty sexist (even for me to say lol). It gets a bad name because of that. I got banned for suggesting this subreddit to someone. I know others get banned from ot… | /r/RedPillWives | 29/07/21 02:56 PM |
| 2 | Admiring your husband… ideas? examples? suggestions?Yes you summed it up about feeling corny lol. I’ve read Dr Laura’s book, but I’ll put it on my reread list.I’ve read lots of good books but wasn’t open to changing. So rereading all these great titles. | /r/RedPillWives | 29/07/21 11:34 AM |
| 4 | Admiring your husband… ideas? examples? suggestions?I am thinking many of those things about my husband but I guess I just needed some good examples of how to put them into words. I think for various reasons it just doesn’t come “naturally” to me. Thank you for the detailed response!! | /r/RedPillWives | 28/07/21 11:02 PM |
| 2 | Banned from the Christian marriage sub because I suggested someone come here.I realize that. But overall that’s not the main focus of this group. In fact I rarely see those posts at all so either they aren’t here (I’m talking about this group in particular) or I’m overlooking them. And everyone here has been just as accepting of my religious views. I haven’t lied myself into thinking this is a Christian or religious subreddit at all. I’m saying that there’s more support here for a traditional Christian marriage over many religious groups that promote egalitarianism and f… | /r/RedPillWives | 28/07/21 11:09 AM |
| 2 | What are you reading/watching/listening to?I did a Bible study of the book of James by Susan Heck that really helped me. I reread The Surrendered Wife. Jordan Peterson’s books have helped. I’ve listened to Voddie Bachaum’s sermons on marriage. I also recently reread fascinating womanhood l. | /r/RedPillWives | 26/07/21 01:51 PM |
| 2 | What are you reading/watching/listening to?Codependent no more is a very good book! | /r/RedPillWives | 26/07/21 01:48 PM |
| 6 | What are you reading/watching/listening to?I’ve been taking a break from much heavy reading. My husband lovingly let me know I have made a ton of changes and I need to revel in them for a little while instead of being upset that I haven’t changed more. I’ve been trying to get through a thriller called The Sign, but so far it hasn’t pulled me in. I watched Clue and Wild Hearts Can’t Be Broken on the plane along with a ton of NCIS episodes. I am trying to get my sister hooked on the British Bake Off so we watched a few of those episodes (i… | /r/RedPillWives | 26/07/21 01:24 PM |
| 1 | Tea TimeI got to visit the Pacific Northwest last week (my sister lives there) and it was absolutely beautiful. It was an incredibly refreshing time and I got to miss my husband and kids for a little bit. Helped me to see how much I appreciate them. I was a little stressed out over the whole me being banned thing and the post I made about it. I realized I was getting really worked up over a bunch of people I don’t even know and I decided to spend the week off social media in general. I have missed this … | /r/RedPillWives | 26/07/21 01:18 PM |
| 2 | Tea TimeI have 4 kids :). I have varying experiences with each one, but once you hit 9 months pregnant you feel very done and don’t care how the baby will come out 😂. Things I found that helped: get exercise in - walking, prenatal yoga, swimming. Meditation is really good for calming nerves and great for early labor, but you need to practice beforehand. I like the hypnobirthing tracts on Amazon. I didn’t use hypnobirthing for labor, but it’s so calming. I love Ina May Gaskin’s books for some reassurance… | /r/RedPillWives | 26/07/21 01:10 PM |
| 2 | Banned from the Christian marriage sub because I suggested someone come here.One thing I’ve found here is encouragement to be a better wife. For me that means a better Christian wife. But I’ve found people who push me to be… well better and not settle to be the frumpy, nagging wife. I was hoping to share that with someone else who was needing encouragement in that way. But I’ve also found for a Christian who wants to follow the Biblical example of marriage this tends to exemplify that more than most “Christian” resources. No one here criticizes my desire to be more femin… | /r/RedPillWives | 26/07/21 01:11 AM |
| 1 | How do you cultivate more feminine personality traits?I try to judge the intentions of who I’m listening to. Follow the money is a good rule of thumb 😉 Also having firm boundaries with everyone is a good idea. Be willing to say no to things you just don’t want to do or having your own ideas for things instead of just going along with the flow. | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/07/21 01:07 AM |
| 21 | Banned from the Christian marriage sub because I suggested someone come here.Oh no it’s fine. It’s something of a badge of honor 😂. | /r/RedPillWives | 19/07/21 07:06 PM |
| 4 | I tried to relinquish control of the finances and my husband said, "No."I wanted to hand over finances because it felt really strange that he wanted to be the leader but he had to ask me for money. I also said that we had family goals but I just am not good at managing the money that well. I kinda just gave it over to him. I was like “I really can’t do this anymore. It’s way too stressful and I’m not very good at it”. He was really hesitant but I didn’t really let it drop (and said sort of the same thing). But I was pretty much like “yeah I took it over which was co… | /r/RedPillWives | 19/07/21 10:46 AM |
| 9 | Sex on commandI very rarely say no to my husband. He knows I’m not crazy about sex during my period so he doesn’t ask then. But if I can tell he’s wanting some, he gets a BJ. We’ve become increasingly more “traditional” - meaning I choose to submit to his leadership - that means not saying no (with some caveats) to pretty much anything. But I trust him and he is a good leader so I’m not worried about him taking advantage. He does listen to whatever concerns I may have and takes that into consideration (this i… | /r/RedPillWives | 18/07/21 03:57 PM |
| 2 | I'm trying to reach financial independence, save up and get a higher paying job. I think this bother my bf as he called me greedy.He now makes more than you… I wonder how things would be going if that weren’t the case? | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/07/21 09:00 AM |
| 3 | Tea TimeI really want to dress more feminine. I’m working on looking nicer at home instead of frumpy. I really want to get some dresses, but I’m not sure where to start. | /r/RedPillWives | 14/07/21 05:22 PM |
| 1 | Tea TimeI just stumbled on this a few minutes ago. https://deeprootsathome.com/a-portrait-of-feminine-dress-part-5-around-the-house/ Looks promising? I also like the Minimal Mom on YouTube (she’s great even if you aren’t into minimalism)! | /r/RedPillWives | 14/07/21 05:21 PM |
| 18 | How do you cultivate more feminine personality traits?Jordan Peterson has a few videos on how to balance those traits and go further along the spectrum to say being more agreeable. I’ve had to do the opposite and become a little less agreeable and it isn’t just a masking - but sometimes I do have to stop an evaluate if I’m being taken advantage of or being too trusting. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/07/21 11:51 AM |
| 5 | I'm trying to reach financial independence, save up and get a higher paying job. I think this bother my bf as he called me greedy.Men don’t like when their gf or wife makes more than them - period. It means he can’t provide for you and you’ll outgrow him or use your money as leverage against him and he can’t lead you. Plus all that money talk isn’t super feminine and perhaps to him it does come across as greedy? Many people were raised to not discuss finances so openly. Edit- love how actual RP advice gets downvoted in an RP woman subreddit. Sorry if the truth hurts, but yes - this is absolutely the case. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/07/21 06:20 AM |
| 1 | Creating an echo chamber- good or bad?Thanks for the suggestions. I’ve struggled so much with being on my phone and social media. | /r/RedPillWives | 13/07/21 01:44 AM |
| 2 | Creating an echo chamber- good or bad?Hmm good point about the difference between motivation versus needing to make a decision. That makes a lot of sense. I agree about having the wide net of Reddit being a negative thing in some ways. I find myself pulled in to arguments that really bring me no joy and sap my energy. Or even sometimes the negative energy that can be found in some subreddits. | /r/RedPillWives | 13/07/21 01:43 AM |
| 3 | Creating an echo chamber- good or bad?I agree. Especially this past year with the pandemic - I hit a point where I was like “enough! I can’t take in anymore information!!” I wonder how much good it actually does us to constantly have that flow of news and information in our lives. I imagine there’s a price to pay for it. | /r/RedPillWives | 13/07/21 01:40 AM |
| 1 | Creating an echo chamber- good or bad?That’s a really interesting perspective and does make me think. I’ve been feeling that moving away from entertainment that glorifies things I morally disagree with is what is right for me. I have been really left with a bad vibe when I watch those types of things lately. And I do agree with guarding our kids from many of those things because they just don’t have the discernment for themselves. | /r/RedPillWives | 13/07/21 01:39 AM |
| 1 | Creating an echo chamber- good or bad?That’s a good point and one I didn’t think of for sure. Making sure your info is accurate and coming from someone who can speak on it. | /r/RedPillWives | 13/07/21 01:37 AM |
| 2 | Creating an echo chamber- good or bad?Like being able the put your guard down? That’s a good point. | /r/RedPillWives | 13/07/21 12:52 AM |
| 3 | Anxiety/depression, struggling with self careThe way Laura Doyle describes self care - it definitely includes indulgence. | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/07/21 03:57 PM |
| 1 | Anxiety/depression, struggling with self careWhen I’m in a funk (I deal with depression as well) I find just doing things to brighten up my space make me feel good. Whether that’s lighting a candle and putting on music or making my bed then taking a shower, doing hair & makeup, smelly lotions, and dressed in something that makes me feel good. My surroundings start to lift my mood. | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/07/21 02:36 PM |
| 1 | What are you watching and listening to and reading?Hmm haven’t heard of it! Well another book for my “to read” list! | /r/RedPillWives | 09/07/21 12:09 AM |
| 4 | What are you watching and listening to and reading?I’ve got a bunch of cookbooks from the library so that’s been occupying my time at the moment. I have a few books I want to read or have on hold at the library. I plan on rereading Fascinating Womanhood. I’ve got a guilty pleasure read in my purse (Sign), but my focus has been lacking lately. I’ve got a 5 hour flight next week so maybe that will fill my time for that! I’ve been listening to a lot of Suzanne Venker. We’ve been working on getting to bed earlier so I haven’t watched much. We did wa… | /r/RedPillWives | 08/07/21 12:37 PM |
| 1 | What are you watching and listening to and reading?Ooh I’d like to hear what you think about it! I heard him mention it on a video, but haven’t read it :) | /r/RedPillWives | 08/07/21 12:32 PM |
| 2 | Own Your StuffOh that’s a good idea on the meal planning - thank you! I agree with the femininity issue. My husband and I were actually talking about that last night - it’s like masculinity has become the “ideal” and we’ve lost the awe and respect and power of femininity. I think developing that it will be a process that’s for sure :) | /r/RedPillWives | 08/07/21 11:16 AM |
| 7 | Nervous about being intimate with my fianceNo one has said this yet… use lube. Lots of it. if you are using condoms get water based lube!! Some people think that needing lube is something to be ashamed of (like you aren’t turned on enough or something), but it can be very helpful to make it less painful and much more enjoyable! Don’t worry if things don’t “work” well the first time. The first time isn’t typically super enjoyable for a woman. It’s more or less the start of a wonderful adventure. As far as blow jobs. We didn’t even do them… | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/07/21 07:19 PM |
| 8 | Husband is more affectionate and tender after I lost my job.I haven’t been through it, but it makes sense to me. Sounds like it’s an opportunity for him to provide for you and protect you. Perhaps you are also in a better mood since being away from the job? That may be just uplifting the whole environment having that toxic place not in your life anymore. | /r/RedPillWives | 07/07/21 06:44 PM |
| 1 | Own Your StuffSorry to hear that :(. How are you doing overall? | /r/RedPillWives | 07/07/21 05:59 PM |
| 5 | Own Your Stuff36, married 14 years, 4 kids, homeschooler, work part time I’ve been focusing a lot on the house and I have had a lot of wins in that area lately. But I’ve let my eating go completely. My working out has also stalled as I have an ankle injury that flairs up everyone I try to start working out more. Ugh. So my goals are.. Finances: I handed over the money to my husband. My goal is to stay within the boundaries he has set up for us. I’m also working on STFU when it comes to money. I handed it to h… | /r/RedPillWives | 07/07/21 10:53 AM |
| 4 | Own Your StuffOh that’s so hard especially when it comes to our kids. I am in a similar situation i regards to my husband wanting me to follow his lead much more than I do. I found that unless there’s something detrimental happening - I do what he prefers in terms of kid issues. If I see something really wrong I step in (we have a very strong willed kid who has been hard to deal and very anger producing). Otherwise when the kids aren’t around I’ll say something about it. He has done the same for me. We try to… | /r/RedPillWives | 07/07/21 01:04 AM |
| 4 | Own Your StuffI love your honesty. I know you mentioned the baby not sleeping - that’s a huge stress on a marriage. | /r/RedPillWives | 06/07/21 11:34 PM |
| 1 | Positive updates AND needing helpOkay - that makes sense. Thanks! | /r/RedPillWives | 06/07/21 07:39 PM |
| 2 | Positive updates AND needing helpHmm that’s a good point. | /r/RedPillWives | 06/07/21 06:51 PM |
| 1 | Positive updates AND needing helpI agree - I think that’s a lot of it. (The feminist conditioning). I try to get a lot done when he isn’t home that way he can relax at the end of the day. | /r/RedPillWives | 06/07/21 03:31 PM |
| 2 | Positive updates AND needing helpI think he wants consistency on my part. In many ways I haven’t taken care of the home. He said when we married there was the expectation that he would always provide and do the “manly” chores (like fixing the car and mowing the lawn). But I never said the same for me - like he doesn’t have to do the dishes or make dinner. The expectation has been more of - we both do those things. And I’ve never consistently taken care of the home. I’m fairly untidy. For example I would sort of wait to do laund… | /r/RedPillWives | 06/07/21 02:36 PM |
| 2 | Positive updates AND needing helpHe likes it being neat, but it’s like he feels bad asking me to do it? But then he’s upset if I don’t do it. Ugh. I’ll do it anyway like you said :) | /r/RedPillWives | 06/07/21 02:09 PM |
| 5 | The Suzanne Venker Show?Ooh thanks for suggestion. I like to listen to podcasts while I’m driving or cleaning :). | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/07/21 06:03 PM |
| 5 | Relationship AdviceYou seem a bit immature. You make decisions based on day to day to make yourself happy? Where does that leave you? Well, in situations like this. If your plan is to not even stick around in this relationship you are as bad as he is here. Neither one of you wants to commit. I’ll be honest - this probably isn’t quite the right place for this. Doesn’t sound like you really want to change you want to manipulate the situation to make you happier. | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/07/21 06:00 PM |
| 2 | Why as a man, am I never asked permission if a woman (usually a nurse) can observe an intimate procedure that involves me undressing?Breasts are absolutely genitalia and as uncomfortable as many other things I’ve had done down below (I’ve had 4 kids so no privacy there). I’m 100% in support of men’s rights and not a feminist in any stretch of the imagination. But don’t make things not existent because it doesn’t fit your narrative | /r/MensRights | 04/07/21 11:19 PM |
| 5 | Why as a man, am I never asked permission if a woman (usually a nurse) can observe an intimate procedure that involves me undressing?I am a woman - I had a male nurse when I was in the hospital for an atrial flutter and tachycardia. Never once was I asked about my comfort as he pulled my boob up to put stickers on my chest. I wasn’t offered a female nurse for that either - it was just a given that was my nurse. Whatever I’m better now so I’m not worried about it. | /r/MensRights | 04/07/21 10:52 PM |
| 1 | Housekeeping helpCheckout go clean co on Instagram. I would suggest (per them) vacuum, then mop, then vacuum again. I don’t have hardwood floors so I would look up how to care for them properly. Food should be at the table only :) Here’s the thing- you have to deep clean regularly. Have a schedule - a different room each week. With kids it won’t stay clean. I have to vacuum my carpet 2-3 times a week to keep it clean with 4 kids (and a dog) and I need to sweep the kitchen twice a day :) | /r/RedPillWives | 03/07/21 11:15 AM |
| 10 | Advice on biting your tongueFor me, being defensive was rooted in a lack of trust for my husband. I needed to “get mine”. Working on that has helped for those heated moments. I’ve begun just keeping my mouth shut and not saying anything. Inside I’m going “oh c’mon, that’s not right”. But I just am quiet and don’t say anything. I’ve had him ask “why aren’t you saying anything”. And I’m honest - “I am feeling angry and I don’t want to say something I regret”. Often this happens in the evenings. There have been times where I … | /r/RedPillWives | 02/07/21 11:29 PM |
| 1 | Handed over control of the money and other interesting things…I’ve been reading a lot of Laura Doyle (for years really), but it never totally sunk in. I also found Jordan Peterson helpful. Honestly - for me it was prayer. I have tried to change for years and years. But it wasn’t until I really asked God for help that i saw any changes. And I really feel like I can’t take credit for it. There’s also a handful of Bible studies and Christian women whose books I read that helped. | /r/RedPillWives | 02/07/21 06:36 PM |
| 6 | Handed over control of the money and other interesting things…Thank you so much for the encouragement! | /r/RedPillWives | 01/07/21 05:38 PM |
| 1 | Handed over control of the money and other interesting things…Thank you. I’ve been keeping the house clean over the last few months and have been changing those habits considerably. Thankfully I’ve got the laundry and the kitchen mostly under control. My biggest challenge has been meal planning and going forward that’s what I’m focusing on. | /r/RedPillWives | 01/07/21 04:04 PM |
| 5 | Handed over control of the money and other interesting things…Thank you. Yes, that fits it perfectly. | /r/RedPillWives | 01/07/21 03:59 PM |
| 1 | Does anyone actually follow the financial plan in The Surrendered Wife?Do you manage the finances or does your husband? As in do you determine how much money you have to spend and tell him? Or does he manage it and let you know what there is for you to spend? | /r/RedPillWives | 29/06/21 08:51 PM |
| 1 | Tea TimeI’m feeling lonely this week. I’m working on self care. I’m just acutely missing emotional connection and affection. I’m working on hanging in here and doing the right things in spite of what he does (or doesn’t do). I just feel lonely. I feel as though I’ve made huge strides. Then I mess up (interrupt while he is talking) and all the strides go out the window. It seems like he has so much anger and resentment toward me and it hurts. Like everything wrong between us is my fault. And like I need … | /r/RedPillWives | 29/06/21 04:58 PM |
| 23 | Why is "boys will be boys" such a controversial quote?Yup. I’m a mom to two boys and I’ve always thought it just means that they’ll argue/tease each other, get themselves into dangerous (for them) or messy situations. I’ve never ever thought “oh they’re boys so I guess they’re going to rape! What’s can you do? Boys will be boys”. | /r/MensRights | 26/06/21 10:54 PM |
| 2 | (6/25) What are you reading/listening to/watching?!Watching: rewatching NCIS at bedtime (since it’s something I’ve seen before it helps me relax) and watching the new Alone season with my husband Listening to: I’ve been enjoying Voddie Bachaum’s sermons. On an entirely opposite spectrum I like to listen to Penn Jillette while I’m driving to work. Reading: I’ve got several books going at the moment. Ive got a few “reference books” I’m rereading in the morning during my quiet time- The Surrendered Wife, Becoming a Woman Who Pleases God. I’ve also … | /r/RedPillWives | 26/06/21 11:02 AM |
| 1 | (6/25) What are you reading/listening to/watching?!I love that book! I read it for book club a while back. | /r/RedPillWives | 26/06/21 10:54 AM |
| 1 | (6/25) What are you reading/listening to/watching?!Huh, that’s a different (interesting) take on it :). I saw Knowing quite a long time ago so I don’t remember it much :) | /r/RedPillWives | 26/06/21 10:54 AM |
| 1 | (6/25) What are you reading/listening to/watching?!Excellent book! I agree it’s is a must read for any wife!! | /r/RedPillWives | 26/06/21 10:47 AM |
| 1 | (6/25) What are you reading/listening to/watching?!I can’t handle zombie movies LOL. I get nightmares. I don’t know the barrenness of it and there’s sort of no hope because everyone’s a zombie or dead… I can’t handle it. I do love supernatural horror movies and thrillers though :) | /r/RedPillWives | 26/06/21 12:20 AM |
| 3 | Not Sure Right Space - Red Pill and Beta MenThanks for saying it lol. I didn’t want to be mean. But yeah - not the right space! | /r/RedPillWives | 25/06/21 03:38 PM |
| 2 | I'm struggling with delusional intrusive thoughts that are making me question TRPDo you have any friends and/or family around? I’ve found myself deifying men in the past when I’ve been working through some of these issues (I am also a Christian). But being out in the world - having friendships, going to church, going to work helps me bring things back into perspective. Being married to someone who has OCD i also realize that any amount of trying to bring logic or arguments to something like an intrusive thought just enables the whole thing. Instead of trying to find reason o… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/06/21 12:55 PM |
| 1 | OYS- Own Your Stuff36 married 14 years; 4 kids (homeschool 2); part time massage therapist Weight/Health: I have been doing keto with a friend who lost over 100 lbs. I was doing amazing at sticking to my goals, but I got super run down. I ended up splurging on calories and carbs yesterday. I started to feel human again last night. No weight lost yet. But it takes my eons to lose weight. I bought a set of resistance bands (and cancelled my gym membership that I wasn’t using). I did a light workout yesterday. I used… | /r/RedPillWives | 22/06/21 11:12 AM |
| 1 | OYS- Own Your StuffAwesome job on the weight loss!! Do you baby wear? Could that help with your clingy baby? Oh no! Broken washer is terrible! Has it been repaired? Are you getting a new one? Could a guided meditation help? I like honest guys on YouTube for sleep meditation. Also when I had zero motivation for prayer, I have found reading someone else’s prayer a life saver. I wonder if something less involved for you would be helpful? And how about audio books? Would that be easier to get into? | /r/RedPillWives | 22/06/21 10:12 AM |
| 1 | I need your help… advice on balance?The state of my marriage has been dependent on the state of the house unfortunately. I am a very messy person. This has stressed my husband considerably and he’s gotten very angry over the condition of things. I do like the idea of hiring some help though and I need to work on that. | /r/RedPillWives | 21/06/21 04:17 PM |
| 2 | I need your help… advice on balance?I gave up on breakfast and lunches lol. They make their own because they don’t like what I make :) | /r/RedPillWives | 21/06/21 03:39 PM |
| 1 | I need your help… advice on balance?❤️ I do think a routine is good for me even though I fight it. I also struggle with being flexible once I have a routine. Thankfully my oldest 3 can do lots for themselves and are helping around the house (they are 13, 11, & 8). I try to delegate to them the things they can do so I can’t take care of the things they can’t do. I do try to sneak in a nap daily or as often as I can. | /r/RedPillWives | 21/06/21 03:12 PM |
| 1 | I need your help… advice on balance?I’ve got 4 kids that I’m homeschooling :) I should have clarified that in my OP sorry! I’m also really trying to step up my cleaning game. It’s usually fairly messy, emergency laundry only (“oh no, there’s no more underwear or towels!!”), beds not being changed regularly, general untidiness… I’ve been changing that but it seems like an all day task - which has gotten better as I’ve been doing it more. Like my efficiency has increased and I’ve also gotten rid of tons of stuff. So for example the … | /r/RedPillWives | 21/06/21 02:59 PM |
| 1 | Tea TimeI love this! I saw your previous reply about this and was wondering if it worked out. So glad it did! | /r/RedPillWives | 21/06/21 10:28 AM |
| 1 | Tea TimeI have been doing keto for a week. I have been really tired and just dragging. It’s also getting really hot here now (90s) and our AC is being replaced finally on Sunday. I also have been working a lot so today I am wiped out and doing nothing. Well not entirely true. Getting some laundry done. I’m so, so thankful for my husband who did some dishes last night. When I work all weekend I don’t get to do them and the kids were at friends houses (they also help out with dishes). He knows how much it… | /r/RedPillWives | 21/06/21 10:19 AM |
| 6 | Saints of RPW do you have any cleaning tips for a lost cause?The book How to Manage Your Home Without Losing Your Mind in my favorite!! Declutter. Get rid of everything and anything you can lol. Less to clean!! Set up routines to keep things neat and tidy:) You might be abusing the laundry soap too much and building up a residue. You could try stripping the laundry (check out laundry stripping on Google). You could maybe run them a couple times without any soap to really rinse them. Your washer may also need to be run with bleach to clean it out :) | /r/RedPillWives | 20/06/21 03:16 PM |
| 8 | He is a super successful high flyer and I’m a teacher…I suppose some less “manly” (for lack of a better word) men would prefer to rely on their wife’s income. | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/06/21 02:43 PM |
| 15 | He is a super successful high flyer and I’m a teacher…My husband has been listening to all sorts of red pill stuff of YouTube. The thing he’s told me is that high value men don’t care about what a woman does for work - they don’t care what she makes. They want a woman who is feminine and support their career. | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/06/21 10:28 AM |
| 2 | How to children to follow traditional gender rolesMy 8 year old LOVES makeup and she does her makeup while I do mine :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/06/21 03:20 PM |
| 2 | How to children to follow traditional gender rolesI wouldn’t hold different standards because like another comment mentioned that’s a great way to breed resentment. I wouldn’t “push” anything per say. Just offering is a good thing. Being available to cultivate their interests is great. Honestly the decision to homeschool was made before deciding if we “could” do it. We figured it out because it’s of the upmost priority to both my husband and I. And remember - at the end of the day there really are no perfect parents. We all screw up our kids in… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/06/21 03:19 PM |
| 4 | How to children to follow traditional gender rolesI’ve got 4 kids. They have the same rules (the boys room should be tidy too!). I am fairly sure I’ve got like undiagnosed ADHD so keeping things tidy is tough for me. I have learned I really have to teach the kids to keep things neat as it doesn’t come “naturally” for any of us. Then you can encourage her to keep beautiful things in her space - like some flowers or a jewelry box We homeschool because government schools are places of mass indoctrination. For these issues among many others. Also m… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/06/21 10:51 AM |
| 1 | How to stop seeking validation?I love this - thanks | /r/RedPillWives | 18/06/21 10:59 AM |
| 3 | How to stop seeking validation?Ahh, I forgot the six months part lol. I also just don’t want to nag constantly. Like I see keeping the house clean as a part of my daily “job”. I wouldn’t ask a boss constantly if I was doing a good job. I feel like that would be annoying to him to keep asking “how’s the kitchen look?” Do you like my makeup? Doesn’t it smell so great in here? And so on”. | /r/RedPillWives | 17/06/21 11:08 PM |
| 4 | How to stop seeking validation?Aha! It’s chapter 3 of The Surrendered Wife! A couple of excerpts: “If you’re like me, your first instinct will be to tell your husband everything you’ve learned about the practices of a surrendered wife. You might even be tempted to hand him this book. Instead, I urge you to consider keeping this new information to yourself.“ “ In the beginning, the anger, loneliness, depletion, and resentment you feel are prominent, and it’s almost impossible to keep from expressing those feelings in a related… | /r/RedPillWives | 17/06/21 10:42 PM |
| 2 | How to stop seeking validation?Well, I could have sworn it’s in her book. Not to talk to your husband about what you’re doing (the 6 intimacy steps). I’m trying to find it LOL. I believe because it put too high expectations on yourself? Like he might hold it against you if you don’t do something right? And that he may just notice some changes, but not know for certain what it is. And just to take validation from the increased intimacy. However I’m going to look for it more!! | /r/RedPillWives | 17/06/21 10:28 PM |
| 1 | Prayer of a WifeOn kindle :) | /r/RedPillWives | 17/06/21 08:19 PM |
| 10 | Traditional or controlling?My husband and I share all our passwords and do not have close friends of the opposite sex. But this was only when we got married. And while we don’t have the trackers on our phones - we each are totally okay with sharing that also if needed. Again - not until we were married. My concern is spending all weekends with him. What does that mean? What if you’re invited to a bridal shower for women only on a Saturday? | /r/RedPillWives | 16/06/21 09:28 PM |
| 2 | OYSThat’s a good question. And one I will have to sit with for a while , I think. | /r/RedPillWives | 16/06/21 06:32 PM |
| 5 | I need some rpw encouragementI would say to work on trusting him. Show that trust him by not nagging him about it. Show appreciated for what he is doing in the house. Arrange your schedule/routine to adjust for him being there. Present your problem, “now that you’re home (which I love), I’m having trouble adjusting my routine. Do you have any ideas how to be flexible?” Or something along those lines. You guys blew through savings last time… BUT did you ever lack (food, housing, other essentials?) or did he have those covere… | /r/RedPillWives | 16/06/21 06:30 PM |
| 1 | OYSIn many ways I had to fend for myself and my emotional needs were typically ridiculed or at the least not understood. | /r/RedPillWives | 16/06/21 01:38 PM |
| 1 | OYSSuch thoughtful questions! I think a few things. First I didn’t have a good example in my parents marriage. My mom ran everything and treated my dad like a child. Also, I think deep down I didn’t (don’t?) trust my husband to care about me. And I need to make sure I get what I want. Perhaps again that’s a deep seated, childhood issue. I do think it’s a bit fear based. Yes. I have read it. We did Dave Ramsey’s program and my husband loved that. The basic budgeting premise is that you sit down toge… | /r/RedPillWives | 16/06/21 10:37 AM |
| 2 | OYSI know how you feel with wanting to be better at everything, but doing none of it. Not sure what you dinners are like, but I found if I had a framework it helped me a lot. Like Mondays are slow cooker, Tuesdays - Mexican, Wednesdays- frozen dinner (like a lasagna), and so forth. That way I don’t have to come up with new things every week. I’ve been trying to get dinner started as part of my morning routine. That way come dinner time all I have to do is throw it in the oven or what not. I’ve also… | /r/RedPillWives | 15/06/21 04:26 PM |
| 1 | OYSIt’s been quite a while since I read it. He’s been appreciative this far of the changes. I did tell him I understood if he doesn’t trust me as of yet. There’s been a few things (like going over budget) that he has suggested. And I’m like “uh no, I’m not doing that because we didn’t budget for it and agreed not to eat out without planning it in advance”. | /r/RedPillWives | 15/06/21 04:22 PM |
| 2 | OYS36 married 14 years; 4 kids; homeschool; massage therapist part time Health: I started keto this last week. I also ordered some resistance bands. I haven’t been working out because we’ve all been sick with a cold so I have had zero motivation to do much of anything. My goal is to eat within my boundaries (no sugar, no wheat, under 30 carbs daily). I have insulin resistance and I need to get my glucose in check and get that insulin resistance healed before I will lose much weight. I know exactly … | /r/RedPillWives | 15/06/21 01:56 PM |
| 1 | Tea TimeI hope he finds something that helps! Has he watched/listened to/read Jordan Peterson? My husband found that he helped him quite a bit (helped me as well). | /r/RedPillWives | 13/06/21 06:38 PM |
| 1 | Tea TimeI get that. I went on lexapro because I was in that same boat. I knew I needed to change things, but I just couldn’t get my motivation up. | /r/RedPillWives | 13/06/21 11:37 AM |
| 2 | Tea TimeIs he willing to work on it? I think that’s the most important part of all of it. What is his diet like? | /r/RedPillWives | 12/06/21 11:54 PM |
| 18 | Laura Doyle's Six Intimacy Skills- Working on them, any advice?Go slowly. You won’t change overnight and that’s okay. It almost always comes back to self care. Meaning when in doubt check what you’ve done for self care recently. check your motivation... for me when I tried to just switch into being respectful and do all the “right” things - it was hard when my heart wasn’t in it. How to get your heart in it? Focus on what you like. Think about it daily - what attributes of your husband are you thankful for? What things does he do (or did he do) that are sel… | /r/RedPillWives | 11/06/21 05:21 PM |
| 6 | Audrey Hepburn about becoming a housewifeI think you put that quite eloquently. | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/06/21 02:39 PM |
| 2 | Tea TimeWhat is stopping you from taking responsibility for your anger and changing? Getting a divorce won’t make that anger go away. I imagine it would make it much worse. What your parents tried to do - you have turned around and started doing yourself, no? So you are fulfilling their wishes? | /r/RedPillWives | 09/06/21 10:23 PM |
| 2 | Tea TimeIs he threatening a divorce? In what ways are you not giving him what he needs? | /r/RedPillWives | 09/06/21 10:08 PM |
| 4 | Tea TimeMy 4 year old daughter has made up a pretend animal (a speed cat). The last hour she’s followed me around giving me interesting tidbits about these cats. I appreciate her creativity. But my brain may melt 😂 | /r/RedPillWives | 09/06/21 02:08 PM |
| 14 | BBC article on the workload of wives/mothersWhat do you think of the article? I think it’s very one sided. They discuss women’s roles in the house, by do not discuss the pressure on men that is not on women. If a man doesn’t work he is judged much more harshly than a woman who doesn’t pull her weight in the household chores. From an RP perspective, most men (or high value men at least) do not care about their wife’s income. They want someone to take care of things at home while they provide and protect the family. This is true of my famil… | /r/RedPillWives | 09/06/21 10:41 AM |
| 2 | Any tips/advice for a first time mum?It sounds like you have many things on your plate that you are trying to adjust and change. The most pressing is baby. So focus on that. A few things I would suggest: make some meals and put them in the freezer for those first few weeks. you need to figure out the dog situation; training or something because managing 4 unruly dogs AND a newborn sounds like you are setting yourself up for disaster what do you need help with? Figure out what things need to be done and then ask for help with those.… | /r/RedPillWives | 08/06/21 02:45 PM |
| 1 | Are my chances of finding someone for a serious relationship low if my boobs are ugly?What are you comparing your breasts to? How do you know they are “weird”? Normal Breasts are typically not porn-worthy material. | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/06/21 10:32 PM |
| 12 | What does your housekeeping look like?As someone who is NOT naturally tidy - but working on it. I have been daily getting at least one load of laundry run (folded & put away), the kitchen counters cleared and wiped down, the dining room table clear. I usually feel like I’m playing catch up though. | /r/RedPillWives | 07/06/21 12:20 PM |
| 9 | Is it me, or is femininity being villainized but idealized?She discusses the uptick in girls who are transitioning to boys. It’s been a massive increase that doesn’t correlate with the numbers of adult women who are transitioning. She points to many factors at play - one of which she believes that society has demonized women’s role and downplayed the importance of femininity. It’s a very good book and incredibly heartbreaking. Girls as young as 13, in some states, have been allowed to have their breasts removed. The hormones that they are given almost g… | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/06/21 10:27 AM |
| 2 | Is it me, or is femininity being villainized but idealized?I am reading Irreversible Damage by Abigail Shirer and yes - this is very much what is happening. | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/06/21 12:04 AM |
| 0 | How do I submit to my man even if it hurts?Since you mentioned you are a Christian, I would encourage you to pray and ask God to help give you wisdom. Are you actually married? Also there are so many YouTube channels that can help! I’m terrible at cleaning and organizing and decorating. I watch YouTube all the time for help!! | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/06/21 06:28 PM |
| 9 | Husband hates the fact that I have body hair; I'm struggling to deal with thisI think you’ve been given a lot of good advice on marriage/emotional side. I just wanted to add - I used to get Brazilian waxes and the woman who did them said in order to keep from getting ingrown hairs from waxes or shaving - is to treat the skin “down there” like your face. Use a gentle facial cleanser daily on the area you shaved. Exfoliate a few times a week. And you can even use a face mask weekly. Also don’t shave when the hair is super long - trim it first. I personally don’t do a close … | /r/RedPillWives | 06/06/21 10:49 AM |
| 6 | Update: Letting my husband pursue me.I realize I’ve been overweight. My husband literally this entire time has said, “it’s not your weight. Really, it’s all me”. I have lost 30 pounds and kept it off and he was happy with that. But it didn’t revive our sex life. And again he would say “it isn’t your weight.”. I’ve heard that over and over for 2 years. Isn’t that a tiny bit disrespectful because he lied to be that entire time? I’ve been working on it. I have been working with a dietician and I lose weight painfully slow. Took a year… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/06/21 12:26 AM |
| 2 | Tea TimeIn what way would you like to see yourself as more respectable? | /r/RedPillWives | 05/06/21 06:41 PM |
| 1 | Tea TimeGreat job holding your tongue! It can be tough to do | /r/RedPillWives | 05/06/21 06:40 PM |
| 4 | Update: Letting my husband pursue me.He doesn’t typically. He was more or less trying to “test” himself. I agree regarding low T, but he’s just trying to say that’s it’s age (he’s 35) and stress. I’ve been encouraging him to see a doctor since it’s been a few years. | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/06/21 12:14 AM |
| 1 | Backing off and letting my husband pursue me?Working on the fixing part. Only so much fixing I can do alone... | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/06/21 02:06 AM |
| 1 | Backing off and letting my husband pursue me?Thanks. Put it on hold at the library. About 20 other books popped up as recommendations. The librarian is about to know a lot more about my personal life then they wanted to. | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/06/21 12:39 AM |
| 21 | Backing off and letting my husband pursue me?I’m a massage therapist 😜. He falls asleep within a few minutes. It’s never a sexy thing for us 😂. I imagine he’d like more massages. I usually rub his feet if we’re watching a movie or something. But yeah I could try that more. | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/06/21 09:11 PM |
| 1 | Backing off and letting my husband pursue me?I do not know what the problem is. We went through a difficult stretch of marriage. Part of the difficult part of the lack of sex. We argued quite a bit about just about everything. He was unhappy about the lack of teamwork on my part. I was unhappy about his anger (stemming from OCD) and lack of sex as a result. This has basically been resolved over the last 2 years (this last year being much better). However we still have sex only 3 times a month (typically). When I initiate he tries to respon… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/06/21 09:08 PM |
| 13 | Backing off and letting my husband pursue me?“If that's not the case, then it's probably got something to do with how he associates how he feels when he's around you. If you tend to make his life harder, rather than easier, he probably won't feel like fucking when he's around you, but rather stressed instead. This can happen even if you used to be that way and have recently changed. In which case, he's likely still associating being around you with stress rather than fun.” Any suggestions for changing this? I think In general (with 4 kids)… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/06/21 08:55 PM |
| 3 | Backing off and letting my husband pursue me?I do plenty of that and it’s rejected. Last night When I said “hey are you coming upstairs” - and I have full makeup (which I don’t typically do) and lingerie. He knew what it meant and he came upstairs. He couldn’t focus and it ended up fizzling out (this exact scenario as happened at least 5-6 times in the last few months). I kept trying to kiss him and he would just give me a peck even when I tried harder and would move when I tried to touch him. He said he would just try and use his hand to … | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/06/21 08:49 PM |
| 0 | Backing off and letting my husband pursue me?I’m not sure if his testosterone is normal because he hasn’t gotten it checked in a few years. I didn’t include my weight (I am overweight) because he claims it isn’t an issue. I have lost 30 lbs (I need to lose more) and that didn’t change anything. I got my tubes tied because he couldn’t handle a vasectomy (back when I weighed much less) thinking the worry of pregnancy being off the table would help, it didn’t. I assume (perhaps incorrectly) that my losing weight would yield the same results. … | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/06/21 08:41 PM |
| 6 | Backing off and letting my husband pursue me?He’s very stressed at work and doesn’t balance that well at all. I’ve tried to be a sounding board, but he’s going in circles with it. There’s rarely a resolution. His boss (before he became manager) talked about learning how to not bring work home. But my husband just doesn’t really know how. It’s all he thinks about - almost all the time really - If he’s not sleeping, it’s talking almost exclusively about work. He got some blood work done a few years ago, but won’t do it again. I’m not sure wh… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/06/21 08:38 PM |
| 3 | Backing off and letting my husband pursue me?Yep. When we talk about it not in the moment he agrees that it’s a problem. And he will “work on it”. When I’m trying to initiate (like last night) - he’s too tired. Too stressed. Has a headache. Has to get up early the next day. Can’t focus on it. Not in the mood. Etc. It’s been an ongoing conversation. He has said he’s sort of worn out and isn’t sure why he doesn’t want to have sex. I’ve encouraged him to get more sleep, see a doctor, eat better, etc. it started to sound like nagging so I stop… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/06/21 08:31 PM |
| 3 | Backing off and letting my husband pursue me?Around 5 years ago I noticed a drop off, but wasn’t too concerned (figured it was just a phase). Then we bought a house which was stressful by itself. Then he had an OCD episode which put us at zero because sex became a trigger. Then our relationship went through hell (arguing a lot, etc). I’ve owned up to everything I contributed to the issues. And I’ve changed a lot. Now that we are doing better the last two years, I figured sex would organically come back with it. But it hasn’t. I figured I’m… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/06/21 05:29 PM |
| 6 | Backing off and letting my husband pursue me?I’m definitely trying to do those things. I’m definitely available. He’s somewhat emotionally distant. I know he’s stressed with work (but there’s usually always an excuse - tired, headache, work, kids, etc). I usually wear a nightgown or when it’s hot a t shirt. Thanks for the suggestions. Lingerie or being naked is me initiating and he feels pressured to try and have sex. I’m frustrated because he will try in that case, but it feels forced (won’t kiss me, won’t let me do anything to him, he’ll… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/06/21 05:08 PM |
| 2 | Backing off and letting my husband pursue me?Okay - I’ve definitely been upping those things the last several months. Not with the intention of more sex, just because I realize I’ve been lacking in many ways. In the end I’d like to be a good wife and I just sort of see sex as a measure of other areas of a relationship (maybe that’s not healthy..). We used to have sex 3-4 times a week. | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/06/21 05:00 PM |
| 8 | Backing off and letting my husband pursue me?And what point (especially considering we’re in redpill territory) is infrequent sex okay? I mean a man leaving his wife totally sexually unsatisfied? At the what point do I say “hey this isn’t working for me?” | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/06/21 04:58 PM |
| 11 | I hate being grouped into an all-encompassing definitive. I am completely capable of knowing when my rights are in threat of infringement. Do these type of women just think men are stupid?As a woman, I hate being lumped in with all women. Women are supposed to stand up for other women - and it’s stupid. I’m pro-life. I support men’s rights. I think the pay gap argument has been overturned a million times over. So apparently all of these things make me a traitor to my gender... | /r/MensRights | 02/06/21 07:36 PM |
| 2 | Defining the use for a room.I have read it :) https://youtu.be/BtpAbdv4d98 - found it!’ I also watched a YouTube video which I will try and find. She talks about how our things talk to us. Most of our things are demanding our attention and telling us to do something (like dishes in the sink are saying “wash me”; books are saying “read me” and so on). So when we keep our spaces filled with so many things that are demanding our time and attention we get worn out. When we take the time to fill our spaces with beautiful things… | /r/RedPillWives | 01/06/21 12:49 AM |
| 2 | Defining the use for a room.That’s what we need also - a home for all things. We started out in a very small space and I always thought expanding our space would make everything better. But my inability to be organized is just the same no matter the space 😂 | /r/RedPillWives | 01/06/21 12:45 AM |
| 8 | Own Your StuffOYS - 36 married 14 years, 4 kids homeschool & work part time Health- I have to give up sugar and wheat. I feel terrible when I eat them. I feels my energy draining away. But I still eat them. I also signed up for a walking challenge for the summer so I need to do that! Spiritual- I’ve continued doing a daily Bible study. I want to prioritize going to church. It’s difficult with my work schedule, but I can make it happen if I put it on top of my priorities. Parenting- as we are going into summer… | /r/RedPillWives | 31/05/21 12:50 PM |
| 7 | How do I (23F) stop being dramatic when I get emotional?You described me very well. I worked through some co dependent issues which helped for sure. Some of it is just growing up. Some of it is fake it til you make it - you may feel a certain way, but it doesn’t mean you have to act on it. The more you practice not acting on it - the easier it becomes. You start to have clarity in situations that arise. And then one day you don’t recognize yourself lol. | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/05/21 05:00 PM |
| 4 | Tea TimeHating my period. Cramps are especially bad this month and very heavy. And my husband was finally feeling amorous. So that stinks! | /r/RedPillWives | 29/05/21 05:15 PM |
| 3 | I need someone to talk to..Library book clubs, hiking/walking groups, church bible studies, any hobby you may have or would like to learn - find a class or a group (knitting, sewing, scrapbooking, a second language, photography, gardening, etc). Auditing a class that interests you at a local community college, exercise classes at the gym, volunteering some place... I know Facebook is so old school now - but there are some great local groups for the hobbies I mentioned above. | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/05/21 10:45 AM |
| 2 | Dealing with monotonyWe have a dishwasher thankfully. With 4 kids who are home all day it gets run at least 3 times. And I have read atomic habits! I have found I get bored with routine. Just how my brain works? With really trying to be on top of keeping things tidy I know habits and routine are how to do it. Somedays I just don’t want to do the same thing again. | /r/RedPillWives | 28/05/21 07:13 PM |
| 1 | No sex in 8 monthsAbsolutely ;) just figured another resource wouldn’t hurt. Hope you find some solutions! | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/05/21 03:23 PM |
| 2 | No sex in 8 monthsThat sounds wonderful :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/05/21 03:08 PM |
| 4 | No sex in 8 monthsI love Pastor Mark Gungor and suggest you check out his teaching. He did a series on his Facebook about what constitutes grounds for separations and divorce in a Christian marriage. He talks about Abuse and Sexual Unfaithfulness. Under sexual unfaithfulness he includes adultery, pornography use, and refusal to have sex over long periods (without an adequate reason like health problems). Unfortunately he got such a backlash for the third he deleted that post (I was hoping to share it with you) an… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/05/21 03:04 PM |
| 2 | No sex in 8 monthsYou suggested for him to go on a picnic. What about going alone? | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/05/21 02:51 PM |
| 7 | No sex in 8 monthsThis sucks for you and I’m sorry you are going through it. I firmly believe that with commitment (whether marriage or some other long term agreement) that sex is part of the package - outside of some health issues and whatnot. I do not think he needs to be getting some release in order for this to be happening. My husband went from wanting sex daily to being content with once a month (or less). He wasn’t jerking off or watching porn. He was under an immense amount of stress. He wasn’t even think… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/05/21 02:38 PM |
| 3 | In the modern era, what should a man's protection actually look like?Oh man - I can so relate to this. Is so the same things about a puppy. I actually think that makes sense... being protected from our own silly decisions. I totally relate. | /r/RedPillWives | 27/05/21 11:17 PM |
| 3 | I need to vent about my neighbor for a momentAw man that is all so incredibly frustrating. I hope there ends up being a resolution for you! | /r/RedPillWives | 26/05/21 07:45 PM |
| 3 | I need to vent about my neighbor for a momentNo we don’t | /r/RedPillWives | 26/05/21 03:01 PM |
| 6 | I need to vent about my neighbor for a momentAt this point we can’t move unfortunately. The housing market is insane here. The prices have gone sky high. | /r/RedPillWives | 26/05/21 01:23 PM |
| 12 | I need to vent about my neighbor for a momentShe lives with her husband who is aware of this. He will tell her to leave us alone if he is out there with her. Her adult children trust her to babysit still. We thought she had something going on, but our other neighbor said she’s been difficult like this with other neighbors before we moved in. She was friendly when we first moved in, but she’d ramble on so much that some days when I was rushing to work I would just wave and say “have a good day”. It seemed like she took offense to me not sto… | /r/RedPillWives | 26/05/21 12:36 PM |
| 13 | I need to vent about my neighbor for a momentWe tried to be conciliatory when the first incident happened. She was angry that our kids were outside playing on the sidewalk down in front of their house. She came just yelling at us threatening to call the police. When we first moved in she claimed she was a school principal for 20 years. So my husband tried to say “you’ve worked with kids so you know how it can be sometimes” (even though her claims here outrageous). She said “who said that? I’ve never worked with kids?!” It was that point we… | /r/RedPillWives | 26/05/21 12:27 PM |
| 3 | "Not all men but enough to make women feel unsafe."Many people can find fault in everything. When your worldview is that women are victims, it’s very easy to see everything through that lens. I suppose I could say I was sexually harassed (using that term loosely)? I’m a woman BTW. I’m a massage therapist and had a guy try jerking off while I was giving him a massage. I was incredibly angry at this guy using me doing my job to sexually gratify himself. BUT I’ve given lots of massage to many people (men included) over the course of 5 years and thi… | /r/MensRights | 26/05/21 10:35 AM |
| 2 | OYS 3It sounds like you got a lot accomplished this week also! Great job :) | /r/RedPillWives | 25/05/21 01:25 PM |
| 2 | OYS 3I read it quite a long time ago. I probably need to read it again. I’ve got a stack of books I’m trying to get through though 😂. I think with not putting so much emotional energy into my marriage, I feel so much better. I’ve been able to get more done and I feel more productive. Everything before was done with this edge of “well why am I doing this is he won’t do that”. And it felt like such a struggle to do things. I found with letting that anger go I have a much clearer head and can be so much… | /r/RedPillWives | 25/05/21 01:23 PM |
| 4 | OYS 3OYS: mom to 4, married 14 years, homeschool, work part time Wow! Just like everyone here I can’t believe it’s been a week. Health: I’ve not been doing amazing this week with my eating. I decided to eliminate wheat and sugar from my diet and not weigh myself for the entire summer. I also signed up for a walking challenge (100 miles in 90 days). My foot/ankle injury has been acting up - so we shall see how it goes. I’ve been getting at least a short walk during the cool of the morning. It gives me… | /r/RedPillWives | 25/05/21 11:29 AM |
| 5 | Should a women ever wear trousers?What shoes do you wear? I like the idea of wearing more dresses, but I can’t wear sandals because of a foot injury. I may be over thinking it, I just don’t want to wear my sneakers with a dress... | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/05/21 11:58 PM |
| 1 | MealsI’ve been trying to convince my husband for a year or two 😂 | /r/RedPillWives | 24/05/21 08:06 PM |
| 13 | Feeling the urge to pee while my bf fingers meWhen you hit the g spot it feels like you have to pee. Or at least that’s what cosmo said a long time ago 😂. Don’t feel the need to chase some elusive orgasm by the way. Most women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/05/21 10:17 AM |
| 1 | MealsI love hello fresh :). It just gets too expensive for us. We used it for two weeks because I had some discounts on it. I really loved it! | /r/RedPillWives | 24/05/21 10:15 AM |
| 13 | Wives, how did you meet your husband?Through my sister. I married her husbands brother. Probably no help 😂 | /r/RedPillWives | 21/05/21 07:17 PM |
| 2 | Another Round of OYSThanks! I got rid of 4 bags (FOUR) of garbage from my living room alone. And a box of stuff to donate. By the end I was tired and just threw away stuff that could probably have been donated, but I was very done. and I got my SUV cleaned out and vacuumed and washed :) | /r/RedPillWives | 20/05/21 01:02 PM |
| 3 | How do you deal with disappointment?Our favorite Chinese restaurant went out of business because of the pandemic. I cried. I think handling disappointment with grace actually comes before the event happens. I think learning how to be flexible and deal with managing expectations. I don’t think it’s abnormal or anything to be disappointed and for me both examples you gave were not happening in a vacuum. The first - weddings are stressful. Could it have not been the paper alone that was getting to you? Could it have been accumulated … | /r/RedPillWives | 20/05/21 10:26 AM |
| 2 | Another Round of OYSI have a terrible time with social media. I have no suggestions except when I am keeping busy it’s easier to avoid getting on there | /r/RedPillWives | 18/05/21 06:29 PM |
| 1 | Another Round of OYSNot about toddlerhood, but I have a book recommendation. Kosher sex - he talks about keeping the sexual tension there and keeping things exciting. It’s a really good book. | /r/RedPillWives | 18/05/21 06:26 PM |
| 1 | Another Round of OYSI really need to look into it. My husband isn’t crazy about it and says “I’ll just clean it myself then!”. But he doesn’t have the time either. Sometimes I really wonder how he thinks things get done. Sometimes it seems like things should just be clean and never be used. Like - yes there are books on the table because we did school work! Lol | /r/RedPillWives | 18/05/21 05:31 PM |
| 1 | Another Round of OYSHe typically does try to help. He has no idea where most things go as me and the kids have our systems. So we are hopefully going to start getting rid of stuff to make it easier to care for what we have. Since our kids are also old enough we’ve been putting a lot of emphasis on them helping out also. I’m trying to convince my husband to get a roomba. It’s not working yet 😫🙄😂 He typically gets bedtime handled so I can have some down time. He is very good at making sure I can have some time withou… | /r/RedPillWives | 18/05/21 05:16 PM |
| 6 | Another Round of OYSOYS pt 2: 36, married 14 years, 4 kids, homeschooling mom, work part time Health: I’ve been hovering around 20-60 carbs a day (I had a very bad day where I went waaayy over). No weight loss yet. But my energy levels are up. Having been getting the exercise yet either. We went to an amusement park on the weekend where I walked over 10k steps. And I felt everyone of those. I was really frustrated because even when I was heavier we would go and spend a whole day but I didn’t hurt like I did this ti… | /r/RedPillWives | 18/05/21 10:34 AM |
| 1 | Responding versus reacting?Really I fought with him for two days. He was ready to let it go and I kept harping that I felt dismissed and would like an apology. He didn’t want to give an apology because he felt he did nothing wrong. He more or less saw it as me dismissing him by not following through on what I originally said I’d do. However he was willing to let it go. I kept giving him the cold shoulder and bringing it up a million times. At the heart of it his reaction was more about all the messes versus just that one.… | /r/RedPillWives | 17/05/21 01:43 PM |
| 2 | I think it’s time for me to walk away and I am falling apart. I don’t want to. I’m hoping you have some words of wisdom or kindness.I agree - Laura Doyle talks about what a good man is, if he’s addicted to weed thats a game changer IMO. It’s like the difference between having a glass of wine or two and being an alcoholic it sounds like... he’s overdoing it if he’s checking out of life. You could possibly do a separation (I got this from Mark gungor and I really like it. If you’re on Facebook go check out his recent posts - he discusses when it’s time for a divorce). But you could say “if these don’t change or you don’t get s… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/05/21 01:38 PM |
| 3 | Responding versus reacting?Yes I agree I am much less aware of messes then he is. And I was planning on getting some cleaning done this coming week (I’ve been super busy this weekend so it didn’t happen). I tend to even react though any time he gets annoyed by a mess... so I know I should be more considerate upfront yet I still react defensively when he points it out. So I agree that it’s more than one issue at hand. | /r/RedPillWives | 16/05/21 10:48 PM |
| 4 | Responding versus reacting?History of not a great connection with my parents period. | /r/RedPillWives | 16/05/21 09:51 PM |
| 2 | Responding versus reacting?:( I’m sorry to hear that | /r/RedPillWives | 16/05/21 09:50 PM |
| 3 | Responding versus reacting?He was... I have trouble letting go! But yes you’re right | /r/RedPillWives | 16/05/21 08:03 PM |
| 3 | Responding versus reacting?Well that’s a good question. Yes I believe it is a pattern for me | /r/RedPillWives | 16/05/21 08:01 PM |
| 4 | Responding versus reacting?He was acting fine like it didn’t happen (especially since I cleaned it up right away). He said he didn’t plan on bringing it up at all and he wasn’t particularly upset once I took care of it (maybe a little annoyed that o let it happen in the first place). | /r/RedPillWives | 16/05/21 07:34 PM |
| 7 | Own Your StuffOh goodness this is a long one LOL OYS: Before I start some context. I’ve been listening to and reading some studies on the book of James which has been very much opening my eyes this last week or two. Weight/health: I need to lose 50-60 pounds. I’ve been working on IF and keto. I’ve been stalled at 197 for the last year (I’ve lost 30 so far). I’ve been struggling with cravings and an ankle injury that’s keeping me from moving as much as I like. I’ve been just plain hungry and I do great for a f… | /r/RedPillWives | 12/05/21 11:04 AM |
| 12 | Married women/post partum with childrenFirst of all, you’re doing amazing with everything. Seeing a PT is so good. Second while men are visual - you can’t deny the emotional connections that go along with it. (Good) men don’t just drop their wives because their body changes. I’m not a husband, but I have one. We have 4 kids. Our sex life has fluctuated, but he still finds me attractive (and I have gained more than I’d like to admit). It’s easy to doubt what our men say - but take his actions as proof. He has seen your body do somethi… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/05/21 04:31 PM |
| 1 | So so tired of this conversation with my husbandHuh - thanks that’s interesting! | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/05/21 10:44 PM |
| 2 | So so tired of this conversation with my husbandI’ve sort of done that. Then he is like “you want me to talk to you about stuff but then you tell me you don’t want to hear it”. So it’s like the only thing he wants to talk about or nothing 🤷🏻♀️ | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/05/21 12:22 PM |
| 1 | So so tired of this conversation with my husbandThank you for sharing your experience. | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/05/21 11:45 AM |
| 2 | So so tired of this conversation with my husbandThank you for the reminder. Yes I agree with you on all of your points. Thanks | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/05/21 11:36 AM |
| 2 | So so tired of this conversation with my husbandI think it’s the first time my husband is being faced with firing someone. He’s given him a ton of chances and worked out a lot of concessions, but the guy hasn’t followed through on anything. I can empathize that my husband is having to deal with it. And I get why he’s thinking about it. | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/05/21 11:35 AM |
| 7 | So so tired of this conversation with my husbandI really appreciate the advice. I really like that - saying I can listen for so long and setting up boundaries. I think that’s helpful. | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/05/21 07:54 PM |
| 8 | So so tired of this conversation with my husbandI’ve only asked if we could talk about something else after we’ve had the same conversation for months on end. Meaning - hey we are on a nice date together can we talk about something else. Just like he wouldn’t want me to talk about the kids the whole time. I’ve gotten into ruts where I complain about work and my boss. And he has to say “hey this is taking up so much of your energy and it’s stressing you out - there needs to be a solution. But if all you want to do is complain then I don’t want… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/05/21 05:43 PM |
| 35 | So so tired of this conversation with my husbandHahaha as I was writing I thought that. | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/05/21 03:41 PM |
| 6 | So so tired of this conversation with my husbandHe’s open to self improvement. But it’s like a blind spot at the moment for him I think | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/05/21 03:38 PM |
| 9 | So so tired of this conversation with my husbandI’ve suggested that as well. Thanks. | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/05/21 03:37 PM |
| 5 | So so tired of this conversation with my husbandYes I have. But it’s literally the same conversation every day. I’ve tried helping. I’ve tried just listening. I’ve tried asking him to talk about something else... I’m not being dismissive. It’s all consuming and if anything I’m trying to help him see this isn’t healthy for him to be so obsessed by it. It’s burning him out. I’ve done lots of being considerate of his emotions. He’s stuck though. | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/05/21 03:36 PM |
| 9 | So so tired of this conversation with my husbandNo he isn’t. This is out of character for him though. He can usually shake stuff off like this. It’s just been since he’s taken this new position at work | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/05/21 12:13 PM |
| 2 | Updating “I feel done”He deals with anxiety and he realizes that most of his feeing burdened is the anxiety (so getting the bathroom fixed will relieve it temporarily). I think he also doesn’t want to add to my workload. So I guess I’m just trying to take care of things here at home so he doesn’t have to think about them as much... I’ll go back and read those. I’ve read the book before so I didn’t read them this time. | /r/RedPillWives | 03/05/21 07:04 PM |
| 3 | Updating “I feel done”https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWives/comments/myb813/comment/gw1o198?context=3 Original post (hopefully this works) Essentially just feeling like I’m putting in all the effort but having nearly zero emotional connection with my husband. Feeling much more like roommates then anything else. | /r/RedPillWives | 03/05/21 06:59 PM |
| 1 | Tips on how to keep a clean home?have habits and routines for picking up after yourself (ie I make my bed when I get up, unload the dishwasher just before I make breakfast, etc) do things even if they don’t “make sense”. This may just be me - but I don’t see messes. And I really don’t like to clean if it isn’t messy. So sweeping the floor even if it doesn’t look messy is weird to me. But I try to make sure I do it anyway to keep the habit going. get rid of as much clutter as humanly possible. a couple of good resources- fly lad… | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/04/21 03:48 PM |
| 4 | Feeling doneResiliency is a good trait to model also. Not bailing when things get hard. Choosing to be happy/joyful even though circumstances dictate otherwise. Following through on commitments I’ve made. I’m choosing to not get a divorce for a myriad of reasons. But those are just some of them. | /r/RedPillWives | 30/04/21 12:10 PM |
| 2 | Own Your Sh*t for RPW?I struggle with the meal planning also. I liked hello fresh, but it gets expensive for a family of 6. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/04/21 10:24 AM |
| 7 | Own Your Sh*t for RPW?Currently I’m working on getting my energy levels up and losing weight. I’ve been working a plan to help increase energy (incorporating more protein in my mornings, light workouts daily, meditation, supplements). I feel pretty good with it right now - been working on it about 2 weeks. Getting my calendar organized - meaning keeping track of all mine and my kids’ stuff in one place so I can stop forgetting things I need to do! I’ll put one thing in my phone, something just sitting in email, somet… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/04/21 01:19 AM |
| 3 | Feeling doneWhen we do have sex - it’s very good and he’s very into it. He says it is stress. Which makes sense. Our lives are very “go go go”. He’s upfront with me about my weight. We’ve talked about it many times. He doesn’t like the weight I’m at , but he says it is for health reasons. He and I try to get workouts in together - but again we have busy schedules. (I work on my own 5-6 days a week). | /r/RedPillWives | 26/04/21 06:51 PM |
| 15 | Feeling doneYes. My husband is not abusive. We don’t argue. My children aren’t going to live in two separate homes. I’ve also made a very serious commitment when I got married. He’s not dead and neither am I (nor is there unfaithfulness or abuse). So til death do us part still means something to me. And yes with having children my happiness comes second to their security and future. That’s how it works when you have kids. | /r/RedPillWives | 26/04/21 01:39 AM |
| 6 | Feeling doneYes he’s got OCD. He can see some of what he does. Which fuels the guilt. He isn’t abusive in any form so I’m not worried about the kids. I’ve had counseling which left me angrier then when I started - with no practical help. I wouldn’t mind finding someone else, but money and time are in short supply. He has tried to get help - didn’t like it. So hasn’t pursued any more help. He gets angry if I point to the OCD as having anything to do with his behavior so I leave it alone. I’d love if he would… | /r/RedPillWives | 25/04/21 10:30 PM |
| 6 | Feeling doneI have gained weight. I’ve been working to lose over the last few years (it comes off slowly for me). He has told me that isn’t the cause of his unhappiness. He’s been very clear on it so I don’t have reason to disbelieve him. I have put a lot more effort in to look nice for him. Makeup regularly, a nice haircut so I have no excuse for my hair not to be done, complimenting him often, showing my gratitude often... And this isn’t to say he’s a jerk or mean or something. He’s just very walled off. … | /r/RedPillWives | 25/04/21 10:02 PM |
| 11 | Feeling doneIt is when you have 4 kids whose lives get ripped apart. My happiness isn’t paramount in this situation. | /r/RedPillWives | 25/04/21 09:57 PM |
| 5 | Feeling doneHe used to want sex as a means of connection and love. He also always liked physical touch. He is a works person (meaning that tends to be how he shows love). I work on that regularly - taking care of the house and the kids... I’m a gifts person. I for a very long time didn’t care about if he met my needs. I worked on meeting his. Then he totally shut me out emotionally and physically. I’m tired of trying to break the wall down. | /r/RedPillWives | 25/04/21 05:55 PM |
| 15 | Feeling doneHe’s not too big into “adult time” as of late. When I let it go and don’t initiate or try we go 2-3weeks... Not sure why this is being downvoted. This has been the major issue in my marriage for 4 years. If sex is left entirely up to him we go up to 2 months without it. I’ve done everything according to Laura Doyle and Dr Laura and the advice here. I’m worn out from doing all of it. | /r/RedPillWives | 25/04/21 04:23 PM |
| 2 | HELP! my partner can’t last more than 2 minutes and I don’t know what to do anymore.I’ve also realized it isn’t my place to tell someone life changing advice. If she decides this isn’t what she wants to live with the rest of her life - that’s her place to decide it. I wouldn’t want someone taking life changing, possibly damaging advice from some stranger on the internet. :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/04/21 12:58 PM |
| 1 | Rpw getting out of depressed/victim mode?I struggle with depression. One thing that helps me is separating the depression (which I recognize is just something my brain is doing) and who I am. For example if I had diabetes or the flu or something else - that isn’t who I am. It’s something I have. When I find myself in a negative spiral and it’s affecting my attitude I do a few things : I watch how much I’m complaining (I try to bite my tongue if I find myself complaining), I adjust what I’m listening to and watching and reading (sometim… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/04/21 12:26 PM |
| 2 | I need an attitude adjustment, help!!Yes. We’ve got the three “sick” kids downstairs (and he’s taking care of them). And the one not sick kid is upstairs and I’m taking care of him :). It’s an ordeal but we’ll get through it. | /r/RedPillWives | 19/04/21 11:34 AM |
| 16 | HELP! my partner can’t last more than 2 minutes and I don’t know what to do anymore.Look - I’m assuming you aren’t married then. If these are the problems you’re having while not married yet... it will only get worse from here. I’m NOT advising you to leave or break up with him - but there are some major issues here. 1) he isn’t willing to put your pleasure on the same level as his 2) he isn’t willing to work on it. Personally I wouldn’t bother with an open relationship. He’s getting what he wants. What do YOU want? | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/04/21 03:00 AM |
| 4 | HELP! my partner can’t last more than 2 minutes and I don’t know what to do anymore.Before I go further - does he see any issues with this? Is he willing to work on it with you? Have you brought up your frustration? 1) start working together to help him last longer - like handjobs or blow jobs (these might be too much at first). “Work on him” until he’s close and back off. Do this a few times until climax. Keep doing this until he can last longer 2) have sex as often as possible. The more often he has sex, the longer he can last 3) you climax first - he uses a vibrator or, dild… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/04/21 02:19 AM |
| 1 | I need an attitude adjustment, help!!My husband was out of quarantine yesterday (from our bedroom). however two of the kids tested positive. No symptoms thankfully, but just still more quarantine:) | /r/RedPillWives | 18/04/21 01:49 AM |
| 2 | Book recommendationsI’ve enjoyed Elizabeth George’s Bible studies (there’s a fiction author of the same name lol - make sure you search for Bible studies). Elisabeth Elliot is also amazing Cultural Critique - Vodie Bachum (I think I spelled that right!) has a new books called Fault Lines. I haven’t read it yet though. But if you search for things similar to his you’ll find lots and lots of books to read :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/04/21 04:18 PM |
| 16 | Some advice and your opinion would be much appreciated.According to this https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/urinary-tract-infection/symptoms-causes/syc-20353447 many UTIs are caused by E. coli. I wouldn’t jump to conclusions about his sleeping with men. Many women commonly get UTIs with sex. There is sex hygiene that you need to do (like pee after sex) and perhaps take cranberry tablets every day. If you have concerns about his sleepovers and his hygiene may be a different issue altogether. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/04/21 07:35 PM |
| 1 | I need an attitude adjustment, help!!He isn’t sure as he doesn’t have a doctor 🙄. But we are all getting tested on Friday. It could be much, much worse. I’m thankful that we are all pretty healthy. CDC says once he’s symptom free for 3 days then he can get retested (?) I think. So I think he’ll go get retested as well. | /r/RedPillWives | 13/04/21 06:16 PM |
| 3 | I need an attitude adjustment, help!!He’s been fine. Never had a fever or anything. He’s bored to death though. He only lost his taste and smell. I think he had a runny nose for a short time (like half a day). We were hoping to treat this like a vacation lol. But my oldest can’t go back to school if he’s around his dad - so isolation it is. | /r/RedPillWives | 13/04/21 04:04 PM |
| 3 | I need an attitude adjustment, help!!Tired lol. It’s tough being the only parent available! But better. I figured I’ll only make it harder on myself if I’m in a terrible mood. Thanks for asking! | /r/RedPillWives | 13/04/21 09:38 AM |
| 3 | I need an attitude adjustment, help!!We have begun our quarantine and everyone is getting tested this coming weekend :) | /r/RedPillWives | 13/04/21 01:06 AM |
| 2 | Any RPW with ADHD? How do you cope?I’ve never been diagnosed, but I’m incredibly low in conscientiousness. A few things that have helped me: 12 Rules for life by Jordan Peterson getting rid of everything extra... seriously I have to be minimalist if I want to stay organized at all. I’m not entirely minimalist (so that’s exaggerating), but I can’t have lots of stuff. I can’t keep track of it keeping to routines as much as humanly possible timers and alarms and calendars and lists acceptance that I will never be entirely exactly ne… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/04/21 11:26 PM |
| 2 | I need an attitude adjustment, help!!At first he wasn’t staying in there (when I wrote the post). We realized that he actually needed to stay isolated later. I was more throwing a pity party anyway. I believe I was clear. He says I wasn’t. I felt he was ignoring me when I brought it up and now he can say I didn’t say anything. | /r/RedPillWives | 12/04/21 11:24 AM |
| 4 | I need an attitude adjustment, help!!Thank you for your thoughts. Yes I’ve had to remind my husband that I went to urgent care for an asthma flair up and was actually sick. He keeps seeming to forget it. I’m feeling better as the day has gone one - misty because I don’t have a choice! One day this will all be an interesting story to tell lol. | /r/RedPillWives | 12/04/21 01:09 AM |
| 2 | I need an attitude adjustment, help!!Yes, he’s staying in the bedroom and the kids and I are staying away. I’m getting the kids to bed at a decent time so I have some quiet time to myself :) | /r/RedPillWives | 12/04/21 01:07 AM |
| 5 | I need an attitude adjustment, help!!Unfortunately my husband prefers to be left alone when sick and he expects other people would be the same way. When we first got married and he got sick the first time he couldn’t understand why’d I’d be pampering him with tea and orange juice. He figures if you’re sick you need to sleep (I can’t sleep when I’m sick and I love all the pampering). | /r/RedPillWives | 12/04/21 01:06 AM |
| 3 | I need an attitude adjustment, help!!I was pretty clear that I was sick. It was more like “I’m going to bed early” rather than needing help with things. With covid he tends to not want to hear about anyone being sick because it means quarantining - so he brushed off my saying I wasn’t feeling well. There wasn’t anything overly obvious that needed to get done (like taking kids to practice). It was like I said - “hey I’m not feeling great after the kids are in bed I’m going to bed early”. Or “can you make dinner tonight because I’m n… | /r/RedPillWives | 12/04/21 01:04 AM |
| 1 | Where do you draw the line between girlfriend and wife duties?In regards to the question - I think it depends on what you’re comfortable with. Being too entwined without an actual commitment (not a conversation of one) is not a great idea. But you’ll get lots of different answers based on everyone’s personal comfort level. | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/03/21 12:14 AM |
| 5 | Where do you draw the line between girlfriend and wife duties?Well - sounds like you’ve worked out a good fit :) Some of the boyfriend vs husband thing also comes down to how much input/say he has about decisions you make (which is different then what you’re asking I realize). | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/03/21 11:44 PM |
| 4 | Where do you draw the line between girlfriend and wife duties?A lot of it comes down to - if you’re doing it now (and presumably having sex) then he has no incentive to marry you eventually. He has everything he wants, will he commit eventually? | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/03/21 11:36 PM |
| 6 | experienced or young wives: for those of you who married younger and were not as financially sound, what were your first years of marriage like, and what tips can you give?Having realistic goals that you work toward together. Being on the same page about financial goals is huge especially when you don’t have a ton of money. If you aren’t particularly financially literate - taking some sort of money class together is a good idea. I don’t agree with everything Dave Ramsey teaches, but I like the way he teaches budgeting - which is very important. Don’t shy away from asking for advice. Remember there are other people farther down the road that would thrilled to impar… | /r/RedPillWives | 23/03/21 02:30 AM |
| 4 | Sex and marriage discussionI agree. I did ask some of the ladies who were in the “don’t ever have sex unless you totally are in the mood and want to” - how far does that extend? If I don’t want to get my husband a birthday gift or hold his hand or even be nice to him - I shouldn’t? I chose to have sex even if I wasn’t entirely in the mood to. Of course now I do have a bit of anger/frustration that he doesn’t seem to put the same effort I did when I was lower libido. But my frustration has been more aimed at some of the me… | /r/RedPillWives | 18/03/21 05:21 PM |
| 7 | Do you lose attraction/love after awhile in marriage?I’ve been married nearly 15 years. I am still insanely attracted to my husband. It is something to work on. The little things matter (even as much as just being kind in your daily interactions). We’ve had our ups and downs. It happens - we’ve had babies and work stress and money stress... and it takes a lot of intention. | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/03/21 12:43 PM |
| 25 | What did your family teach you about gender roles and relationships with men?I grew up with “men are bad” especially with no male role model consistently in my life. My mom worked full time and my older sister essentially raised me. The (very rare) days where she was home after school I was overjoyed. I realized that when I had kids I wanted them to be able to take that for granted. They don’t really know what they have since I’m home with them and only work very part time. In my desire to be a mom more than anything and to be a good wife (which I had NO idea how to do) … | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/03/21 11:19 PM |
| 15 | My boyfriend didn’t pay for drinksDo you want to be with someone who treats you like this? I thought the paying for drinks was a tiny bit petty. But him not walking you home? I personally wouldn’t be okay with that. Whether he’s interested or not - decide if he’s who YOU want. You aren’t in a committed relationship (sex makes it feel like that - but there’s no commitment here). | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/03/21 10:52 PM |
| 31 | My boyfriend didn’t pay for drinksThere are a lot of complaints for only dating 2 months. Really. If these things bother you, it may be time to move on (that’s what dating is for anyway - to vet). And I’m sorry - am I the only one who is like you’ll have sex with him, but not be his girlfriend? Maybe that’s just me and my old fashionedness... | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/03/21 10:36 PM |
| 2 | I’m a shrew. Husband is a beta. We need help.Then she shouldn’t stay married to him. But I would guess she’s got just as much she’s contributing to the breakdown of this marriage then he does. | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/03/21 09:48 PM |
| 13 | I’m a shrew. Husband is a beta. We need help.This is the worst thing I’ve ever heard of. I’d lose all respect for my husband if he allowed this to happen. A man that would let you fuck another man isn’t one worth being married to. | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/03/21 09:16 PM |
| 18 | Married women, did your effort to look attractive decrease once you got married?I think many women (and sometimes the mainstream idea has been) that our husbands need to accept us as we are. When we date, especially as someone who didn’t live with their husband prior to marriage, he saw the made up pretty version of me. I would go out of my way to look nice for him. Many woman don’t do this after they’re married. My sister couldn’t understand why she should put an effort in, for example. She figured she should always be comfortable and her husband should accept her the way … | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/03/21 12:52 PM |
| 3 | Where or how can I (18f) learn more about men’s issues in today’s society? I want to be able to support my boyfriend (19m) more in those aspects but I am a bit lost.I’m not 100% sure about what type of resources you’re looking for... but the movie the red pill is a good start. R/mensrights the book The Disposable Male (and of course what the other commenter said - Jordan Peterson). | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/03/21 11:59 PM |
| 13 | Modern women appear to be lost. Many are seeking external validation and media messages do not help. Should we try to help our fellow sister or is it every woman for themselves?I was thinking about it further and I do think if you make yourself accessible - that’s one thing (like writing a book or a blog or podcast). And women who want to change can seek you out. I’m not here to rescue my friends. If they are good friends I can point out “hey, you may be unhappy because xyz”. But that usually doesn’t go over well. But leading by example is better overall IMO | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/03/21 07:28 PM |
| 68 | Modern women appear to be lost. Many are seeking external validation and media messages do not help. Should we try to help our fellow sister or is it every woman for themselves?I think working on yourself is helping other people. Most people don’t want help until they’re ready for it. And really - while it’s easy to be overwhelmed by how “bad” things seem to be. But in reality there’s nothing new under the sun. I’m on a Jordan Peterson kick so I’ll refer to him LOL. Clean your own room first before you worry about anyone else. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/03/21 03:27 PM |
| 1 | What does the RPW community think about enneagram?Hahaha I love this! Everyone in my (mostly Christian) book club has latched into it. I looked at some of the history and I can’t figure out why it’s so popular it’s Christians. | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/03/21 11:22 AM |
| 1 | What does the RPW community think about enneagram?Yes. I’m assuming there are more quizzes out there that measure that also. I just didn’t know anything about it until I heard it from JBP. | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/03/21 11:20 AM |
| 8 | What does the RPW community think about enneagram?I do not subscribe to the whole enneagram hype. I found Jordan Peterson’s personality quiz most helpful (and reading his book in conjunction). | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/03/21 09:39 PM |
| 12 | I don’t know what’s going on anymore I don’t know how to handle it please help meI couldnt even finish reading how he has spoken to you. No - he isn’t captain material. Just no. This isn’t funny. It isn’t right. It isn’t a joke. Yes. A partner can point out things that need to be changed. But it’s like the Bible says - “speak the truth in love”. He is in no way being loving toward you. AND the things he is saying are just to be mean! Yes. Natural boobs look natural. You really probably i the underweight range at that height. For him to make those comment is just awful. I wou… | /r/RedPillWives | 11/03/21 06:36 PM |
| 1 | My husband doesn’t earn “enough” money and I’m kind of freaking out about it.Is he not promotion material ever? Or just not yet. My husband needed like 10 years at his job to be ready to be manager. | /r/RedPillWives | 11/03/21 05:32 PM |
| 3 | My husband doesn’t earn “enough” money and I’m kind of freaking out about it.I really didn’t see the path for growth in my husband. He doesn’t have a college degree and works a blue collar job. He took up a second job to pay some debt. Then started working a ton of overtime. He recently was promoted to a manager position. For a long time I didn’t know how he would ever make more (he didn’t see it either). I did the wrong thing though - I was very, very pushy about having kids. He always said it didn’t matter to him one way or another (now it does, but that’s a different … | /r/RedPillWives | 11/03/21 02:40 PM |
| 6 | Book recommendationsJordan Peterson’s 12 Rules for Life & Beyond Order. Christian : Becoming a woman who pleases God Disciplines of a Godly Woman | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/03/21 11:48 AM |
| 13 | My husband doesn’t earn “enough” money and I’m kind of freaking out about it.As some encouragement- my husband and I started young (we had our first when we were 22). We lived in a tiny one bedroom me I stayed at home. He made something like $25k. Having kids lit a fire under my husbands butt. Last year he made almost 90k. He likely doesn’t have the same urgency as you (biological clock and all). Can you bring up these fear in a loving, respectful way? Talk about your dreams and hopes and what you’re looking forward to. I think men (especially those that are providing) h… | /r/RedPillWives | 10/03/21 09:21 PM |
| 33 | How do you deal with your SO’s annoying habits?I remind myself my habits are just as annoying remember what I’m grateful for figure out why I’m feeling irritated by this thing (for example maybe I feel my time isn’t being valued or something simpler where I need to take a nap or go for a walk) find the humor in it remind myself that something inconsequential won’t kill me and I can get over it by not focusing on it | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/03/21 06:59 PM |
| 3 | No idea what to do about my dead bedroomMark gungor is Michael gungor’s (the band) uncle. Mark gungor is still a pastor. I believe Michael gungor is an atheist now | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/03/21 09:56 PM |
| 6 | Wishing a Happy Women’s Day to all women who are willing to fight for equal rights and treatment of their fathers, sons and partnersAs a woman - women’s day is bullshit. | /r/MensRights | 08/03/21 08:59 PM |
| 4 | No idea what to do about my dead bedroomI used to listen to Mark Gungor’s podcast (he’s a Christian pastor). I can’t seem to find it now. I like his recommendation. Which is to leave. Not a divorce or legal separation, but to give warning (either you see a doctor/go to counseling/something or I won’t be home when you get here). And then follow through. And then stay gone until he does his part. Is this something you dealt with prior to marriage? Or were you not having sex then or did it drop off when you got married?Was there any warn… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/03/21 08:51 PM |
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