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CountTheBees Archive

View 15 posts and 2,603 comments by CountTheBees on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Not everyone on RPW is waiting for marriage. And many men would dump a girl if she said that, pretty much only desperate betas or extremely pious men would not. These men carry a lot of post-commitment risk. You speak dismissively of confident men but it is these exact men that are attractive to women. If that bothers you, you should not be here advising women on how to attract the men that they want. A girl asking a guy out makes it more likely that he will pump and dump her because she is lowe…
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/26 05:30 AM
-1

There are serious drawbacks for women asking a man out. They are described in this article. It is very typically clueless man advice to suggest a girl ask a man out because you have no idea why we don't.
/r/RedPillWomen21/07/26 11:19 PM
1

Maybe he's not ready for children as soon as you would want them, and he has already filtered you out because of your age. For him, maybe he wants a fun girlfriend/wife to travel with for 5+ years, whereas you may want children sooner. Men typically settle down much later than women do and your age discrepancy puts you at even more of a disadvantage than a same age couple. If you both want children then a older -woman age gap is not in your favour, even if you are both relatively young. Maybe ot…
/r/RedPillWomen21/07/26 11:15 PM
6

The point is, you want a tall hot rich man. Every woman wants one. Men aren't looking for the same things in women as women look for in men. So you should not be judging yourself by your criteria but by men's.
/r/RedPillWomen17/07/26 08:15 AM
3

Your comment is quite correct even if I feel personally called out by it :P
/r/RedPillWomen17/07/26 03:55 AM
2

I read your update, and I'm sorry. Once you disappear off his radar he will likely slow down his cabin building because he's literally got a decade to do it. I can only suggest that you widen your dating filters and consider moving or compromising on your lifestyle if you want kids. Unfortunately you have very specific requirements and unless you are content to be alone, you will have to compromise.
/r/RedPillWomen17/07/26 02:03 AM
14

Drop him completely, because you haven't even met him yet and there is already so much going wrong. He is making an effort to improve his personal situation and visit me After six months this is just not enough. Even if he did make plans, what if he bails again? 6+ months down the drain, without even a meeting? However, his finances are no concern to me cause he has good blue collar skills and I bring in a decent income. When you are pregnant and off grid you will not have an income. If you want…
/r/RedPillWomen15/07/26 04:17 AM
27

He sounds a bit of a mess. But that's to be expected at his age. This is my attempt at mitigating the problem. It may be the wrong approach. Yeah, it's the wrong approach. The right approach would be to drop him because he is signalling that he thinks you're replaceable and you are not his priority. You are already a plate, whether he has any other ones or not. I think you are asking him for things he can't give. I am doubting his ability to commit, get married, and support you on a timeframe th…
/r/RedPillWomen15/07/26 03:28 AM
2

I think we have such wildly different values that we won't agree. Still, your POV is common, but it's not encouraged on RPW. I'll go through what I think. we deserve the same level of support and respect we give to our husbands If OP worked for her husband's company, would he be nagging her? It's wildly disrespectful and would be unthinkable from a workplace POV. Yet when women run the house it's common. The woman gets her glow back, her life back, her free time back and she is not constantly dr…
/r/RedPillWomen13/07/26 06:42 AM
4

No, this is unreasonable. If you're entering/being in a relationship with these sort of idealistic expectations you're setting yourself up for failure. Are you currently married/in an LTR and how long have you been in one? I find it hard to believe a woman in an LTR of 3+ years has been happy with this sort of attitude. Firstly, frog farming exists. How much of his attitude is because of her and not his nature? We don't know. Secondly, even if he has been disappointing and underwhelming in every…
/r/RedPillWomen13/07/26 04:45 AM
3

Wild take. Throw away your husband who provides for you to stay home with junior because it's his fault he's being nagged.
/r/RedPillWomen13/07/26 03:07 AM
11

Grab your opportunities for humility whenever you can. Oftentimes I find a nagging dynamic develops as a result of power - either you have more power or you want more power, and nagging helps you get/keep that power. You're a SAHM, the home is your domain, so of course you feel more powerful than your husband at home. You have to make an effort to balance the power dynamic. It's much harder to feel powerful when you are vulnerable, admit mistakes, and own your failings. This will likely bring mo…
/r/RedPillWomen13/07/26 03:04 AM
3

Ask your fiance what he thinks you should do with the money. I imagine he will probably say save it.
/r/RedPillWomen11/07/26 01:43 AM
1

Lots of languages refer to bfs and gfs as brothers and sisters btw, eg Vietnamese, Korean, and some other countries in East Asia. Him calling them sisters on posts doesn't mean much if he's from one of those. It's a honorific for any woman close in age. I get the sense you want to be a "cool girl" so just set some boundaries and stick to them even if it means you're no longer a cool girl. Eg, no telling his friends about your relationship, no emotional cheating, no one on one dates or time alone…
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/26 10:07 PM
2

Saying you're special needs sounds like playful banter to me. Is it possible that he does that because he wants to "play" with you and you are misreading that as a serious argument and taking it way too far? I have a very similar initial dynamic with my husband where we bicker about unimportant stuff. But when one of us gets actually annoyed or actually upset the other one recognises that as no longer playtime and stops. If you/he are having trouble figuring out the distinction between "play" an…
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/26 12:39 AM
3

Can we have an example of the dynamic between you and your husband during an argument?
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/26 12:25 PM
2

Actually I was thinking of my own experiences with unsuitable men, and generally my feelings only go away when I get into a heated argument with them where strong words are said, because until that happens I still kind of have hope. That is more what I meant.
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/26 08:53 AM
2

Rather than resisting your impulse to change him, I think you should lean into it and don't hold back. That should provoke (a) sufficiently negative reaction(s) from him to end this unrealistic crush on your part.
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/26 06:07 AM
4

They are so good! Amazing insights and he really knows how to write for women.
/r/RedPillWomen01/07/26 11:28 PM
21

I never could, I think it is natural for some women's minds to prioritise love and family. Just make sure you vet well in your next relationship. Incremental reciprocation is a handy tool. The singles advice on The Rules Revisited, especially Don't Initiate Contact is well worth reading.
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/26 02:48 AM
2

It's kind of vague. I find that women say that sort of thing to convince other women that they're not pickmes or competition, even if they do dress to be picked, because they're afraid of being judged or attacked by other women for their fashion choices.
/r/RedPillWomen28/06/26 07:58 PM
6

Not much to add, but, do you have any support from your friends and family, to discuss these things with? Do you have an older brother or father who could talk to your husband for you? Seems like you are spinning your wheels with his friends who are not loyal to you. Where is your support group?
/r/RedPillWomen27/06/26 02:33 AM
3

Strong (and wrong) opinions, like yours, merit strong responses, lest other newbies get the wrong impression. You are also arguing with ECs, that may have something to do with it. You are a virgin. Wife_and_Mama was a 23yo who went through a harrowing divorce, lost a lot of weight, went on a lot of first dates, married her now husband, had twins, then had two more children. Your statements are too simplistic, like many newbies'. You need nuance and guidance, from people who have your best intere…
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/26 11:52 PM
2

No and yes but. Men are always attracted to 22yo. Men are also attracted to every woman up to their own age. Some men vet very heavily on RMV before beginning a relationship and don't place so much importance on SMV (eg youth). Some men want multiple women. You can see this desire play out in recent posts here. But most men who are realistic recognise that monogamy is the best structure to bring up a family in, and resist those urges, the same way you would resist the urge to monkey branch once …
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/26 11:19 PM
6

You should read all the Back to Basics posts, they've got a lot of gems. They are reposts of older posts. Wife goggles aka love goggles
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/26 11:14 PM
7

Well, she has lived through the exact experience you're having trouble with. So maybe she has a point.
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/26 11:10 PM
8

You should read the rest of her comment. She has some very relevant life experience to share with you.
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/26 10:58 PM
9

I'm so confused. Why is being alone and childless an option here? You are already married. Doesn't the stability of your current marriage outweigh bringing new people in? Why isn't he putting more importance on taking care of you than taking care of random other women?
/r/RedPillWomen21/06/26 08:54 AM
26

would only do things that make me comfortable Except monogamy. From personal experience - refreshing radical honesty is not a sufficient substitute for not having your heart broken. The most wretched feeling is when you are gutted and crying and can't talk about it because you know that he'd only say that you agreed to this and that the only solution is to break up. Men don't fall more in love with women over time, their initial level of affection tends to stay constant over the course of the re…
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/26 11:15 PM
7

No, you don't get to ignore what words mean. The man whom you call "obedient" (gag) is not your leader. The man who is 100% at fault for everything in the relationship is not someone you respect.
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/26 04:00 PM
12

Regardless of what positive qualities he brings, you don't respect him and it sounds like you never will. You consider yourself better than him and he doesn't fulfil your hypergamy. He can't be a leader and I assume you're posting here because you want a male led relationship?
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/26 01:50 PM
6

You can read Fascinating Womanhood by Helen Andelin or For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn to understand what men want and need in a relationship. We have chapter summaries for both books in the Wiki. Given your post it's practically impossible to figure out what went wrong. Regarding your last paragraph - I don't think it's useful to talk about what you do when someone pulls away. You kinda want the next relationship to be one in which that never happens, so focussing on that seems to be a waste…
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/26 05:43 AM
6

This has nothing to do with feminism. The world is in a financial recession. Men are losing their jobs and houses too.
/r/RedPillWomen17/06/26 02:33 AM
14

It may be that he only entered the relationship because it looked like easy access to sex and never planned on committing. Or he planned to commit but after the lust goggles fell off, he didn't want to anymore. Or something in your dynamic changed or you gained weight and he got scared because you could gain weight at any point in the future and he couldn't see himself committing to you for life if sex wasn't guaranteed and wasn't going to be fulfilling for him. I don't know what went wrong. You…
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/26 02:16 AM
17

If all he has to do to get you to stay/put out is call you "loyal and caring", why would he marry you?
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/26 12:40 AM
3

You'll have a much better chance thrift shopping if you put aside a budget for tailoring or learn to DIY it. Most skirts look 400% better if you tailor them to fit you at your natural waist and I remember the biggest problem shopping at a late teen age was the sizes. Shirts can be a bit oversized if you have the fitted skirt to tuck them into.
/r/RedPillWomen14/06/26 11:50 PM
5

I don't think his take on this was the same as yours because if he really thought you two were "matched" he wouldn't be flaunting his wealth. He did see himself as superior to you and you as reaching.
/r/RedPillWomen14/06/26 07:28 AM
5

"Dodged a bullet" is the wrong framing. You were aiming for a high status, rich man, and he knew you were because he flaunted it. The deal was "I'm hot and you're rich" and he knew it. But being only hot won't get you married, it'll get you plated. And he knew you didn't respect him or his lifestyle or even like him, and only gave him a chance because of his money. That's not going to make him feel warmly towards you.
/r/RedPillWomen14/06/26 12:44 AM
3

Have you read the sidebar?
/r/RedPillWomen14/06/26 12:03 AM
5

The Final Exam
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/26 07:06 AM
19

I don't think you overreacted. Unfortunately it sounds like you failed The Final Exam. Whatever you do, don't keep sleeping with him while he puts in minimal effort.
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/26 06:26 AM
2

I don't really follow Laura Doyle or surrendered wife, I've just heard of that quote being discussed before. I do think that not all women want to leave, all things considered, and not all abusive situations are equal. It is not outside the realm of possibility for some situations to be improvable or tolerable. When you say violence is never acceptable, you want to shut down discussion for women in those situations, such that "leave" is the only correct response? Those discussions are locked/res…
/r/RedPillWomen12/06/26 12:38 PM
2

I believe the context of that statement was that a woman wrote in/called in and told her that those skills did in fact fix her violent marriage.
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/26 11:40 AM
5

Aloofness, independence, stoicism and even rationality are typically what a man brings to the relationship. Men are not attracted to the same things a woman is, you might find those traits attractive and think "well if I have those traits I'll be attractive to men" but that is not the case. Men are attracted to softness, vulnerability, and dependence. They want to be needed. They expect to be the rock. As long as your level of drama is not bunny-boiler or needs-institutionalisation drama, they'r…
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/26 01:21 PM
4

"An immense amount of space" -- seems like that would come in handy for someone who wanted to lie/omit details. I think normal, honest, decent men are not normally prioritising finding someone who is at arm's length. It's like if you are looking at his phone innocently because you need to call yours to find it and he accuses you of spying. Only a certain type would see that as "spying" and only a certain type of man would actually appreciate that kind of "privacy". It's like you are boasting abo…
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/26 11:23 AM
3

Unless you've worked through the problems that caused those relationships to fail you can't speak definitively on this topic or even on this subreddit. You don't have the experience to understand what works and only have an idea of what doesn't, and lack the self awareness to understand what you did that caused problems. Based on your self assessment as "insecure" and "not hypergamous" and the descriptions of men you've given, I'm going to guess you dated extremely low quality men who had mental…
/r/RedPillWomen30/05/26 10:20 PM
2

No. Earnings are linked to intelligence and status, artificially lowering your earnings does not mean you will automatically be compatible with and admire/respect someone who earns less than you would have. It's a bad strategy because you're unlikely to satisfy your hypergamy by doing do, especially if you're doing it deliberately. You'll constantly be comparing them to what you think you could have done, without knowing what you actually could have done.
/r/RedPillWomen30/05/26 09:21 PM
3

Nothing in my marriage or past relationships corresponds with your experience. You have to be careful about extrapolating too much from your personal experience because sometimes the men you attract are all very similar but not representative of most men. You have to understand your own quirks before giving advice. Generally women begin to understand their mistakes when they commit to making a relationship work. Are you in a lasting relationship now?
/r/RedPillWomen30/05/26 09:17 PM
4

No, I don't think that's true. In the same way we are hypergamous and want men that earn more money than us doesn't mean that we deliberately earn less money than them. In fact we want to do better to "earn" a better man, even if men don't see it that way.
/r/RedPillWomen30/05/26 07:13 AM
7

I think what the post says is, regardless of how good a man is they do want the woman they're with to be better.
/r/RedPillWomen30/05/26 04:19 AM
14

Your post is the first time I've actually heard this spelled out, because I haven't read the original Fascinating Womanhood, I've only got the modern one. But the quotes you have make it very clear. During the early part of my relationship I really tried to play down my "angelic" nature specifically because of that - he should be better, I should follow his lead, etc. I emphasised pointing out my many moral failings to prove to him (and myself) that he should lead us. But it never worked, and he…
/r/RedPillWomen29/05/26 02:21 AM
1

Women didn't have cell phones with cameras & messaging when Ted Bundy was around. It would be quite easy nowadays to call someone en route or just take a selfie with your Ted Bundy wannabe and send it to a friend. When I lived in an apartment complex I didn't mind if people dropped me off as they still wouldn't know my unit number.
/r/RedPillWomen28/05/26 03:24 AM
3

I don't find it attractive but it is preferable. Men who ogle other women in an excessive manner or who even seek voyeuristic experiences out are gross. It's an absence of a bad trait moreso than a positive trait. I also want my husband to admire and look at me, and for him to do that he has to have a certain degree of openness to showy clothing or feminine vanity. I find that most men have perfected the art of appearing not to notice when they did in fact notice. Oftentimes I'll point someone o…
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/26 12:52 AM
2

😆
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/26 08:14 AM
8

Why do you write the post and comments in double quotes? Who are you quoting?
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/26 06:11 AM
4

I'm so glad this worked for you. However, this is not great redpill strategy for two reasons. One is The Final Exam. Two is that this won't work on every man. This man may have been sufficiently alpha to attract you and sufficiently beta (or simply had oneitis for you) to wait for you. A man without a scarcity mindset and more alpha qualities is unlikely to behave in this way. Any woman taking notes should consider both of these points.
/r/RedPillWomen22/05/26 02:52 AM
0

Unfortunately the biggest risk to this relationship is you leaving him, not your boyfriend leaving you. You are currently pretty low, and depend on him to function. He gets something out of this situation too - he gets to feel useful, he gets to feel like a white knight in shining armour, he gets to feel like your hero, he gets sex and gratitude, but things likely will change when you stand on your own two feet and start becoming more independent. You might start feeling like you can do better t…
/r/RedPillWomen22/05/26 01:44 AM
1

They do. But doing physical things doesn't mend the damage in the same way a man doing those things can.
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/26 11:05 PM
2

No, femininity does not mean low stress to me. It does mean appearing to be low stress though - exercising more self control, more patience, more forgiveness. For example, Beth from Little Women, who although she was chronically ill, never lost her temper, never got depressed, and always cared for others ahead of herself. On the difference between men and women on this matter, I think that men are prone to outbursts of anger but those are forgivable because they carry the greatest burden on thei…
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/26 04:58 AM
17

The entirety of your post is disloyal and unkind, not just that paragraph. I just thought your fantasy about another man was particularly tone deaf because men want a woman who creates a happy home, and you seem intent on making it unhappy no matter what. Here is my advice. It is not your business how your husband spends his day. Don't tell him what he can or can't do at what time. This is none of your business and it's disrespectful. Keep your thoughts to yourself. Be grateful that your child h…
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/26 09:47 PM
29

I think what I need is having examples that I can admire in order to know that what I want exists in the world and there is plenty of it. And also knowing that there are men who if they knew my real thoughts, like the ones that i have shared here would admire me or see me as perfection. That would make my husband irrelevant. I'm having real trouble understanding this paragraph. Are you actually saying that you are fantasising about a man that would see everything you do as perfect? You do realis…
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/26 12:49 PM
3

Do you feel like he is sufficiently committed for you to ask him for a marriage date, or, are you happy to stay in the relationship without marriage? I can imagine the despair in your last post repeating everytime the relationship hits a low point because one or more of you is stressed and not operating at your best.
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/26 06:56 AM
1

I'm chiming in because I don't like seeing bad so-called "redpill" advice here. Let me put it in a way you will understand. Money for women is like a shower in a house. It's not the only reason you pick the house, but you definitely wouldn't choose one without it. You expect to be able to shower regularly, and if your shower suddenly lost its income, how long would you wait to 1) find somewhere else to shower? or 2) get a better house? Does the entitlement and disloyalty not jump off the page? P…
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/26 01:44 PM
1

Why do you think this makes you "petty"? Petty has the following meanings (which I think are all wrong, I understand it to mean being deliberately spiteful over a trivial matter): Of small importance; trivial: synonym: trivial. Narrow-minded or ungenerous, especially in trifling matters. Of lesser importance or rank; subordinate. Of these I think you mean #2 but not sure why and this is not a trifling matter. Unless you mean to hurt your partner by this decision?
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/26 10:05 PM
6

Because you have phrased it in an offensive way, on a forum for women, where I spend quite a bit of time, where men are not allowed if they use offensive or crude language, and where you are clearly a man. I doubt very much that you are married or even know how to talk to women based on your performance here.
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/26 03:16 AM
3

Because having sex with a woman is as emotionless as having a shower. Is this how you would talk to your daughter?
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/26 11:03 PM
4

Not sure what you're trying to prove here - men date around their own attractiveness. Have these hypothetical 4/10 women tried finding men in their league?
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/26 11:00 PM
17

Things get easier when you stop expecting men and women to be the same. There are lots of ways men and women are the same, but especially when it comes to sex and attraction, lots of ways in which they are different.
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/26 10:53 PM
28

The way I've heard it said here is that looks will get your foot in the door but character will determine whether you can keep him. There is also this article which explains men and women's attraction to the opposite sex. Men make their judgements about a woman almost immediately. That is, if a man doesn't like you at first, sleeping with him isn't going to change his mind. The same author, a man, gives a very long winded explanation of how feminine beauty is highly controllable and that most wo…
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/26 08:42 AM
3

My guess is he will be excited by the time the wedding rolls around, because weddings polarise people. If they're slightly on the Yes side they will get more excited. If he doesn't really want to I hope he will be able to say No, but I don't know him, and that doesn't seem to be where he's leaning. Not seeing the point of marriage in New Zealand, a culture where everyone lives and has children in de facto households, and after 8 years of cohabitation, is not something anyone can fault him for.
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/26 11:20 PM
-7

Just marry him!!! So what if he doesn't see marriage as this big romantic thing, he's still willing to do it. Take him up on that offer, it'll make you happy, you'll have sex with him, which will make him happy, just do it!
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/26 10:28 AM
3

I'm not sure why you think there is any better way to deal with her. It sounds like she depends on your husband because of her other special needs son and your husband is unwilling to abandon his brother/her no matter how bad she treats him. That's his choice and you need to respect his choice. The alternative is bearing guilt for any lack of care for his brother (maybe his mother as well if she has needs) and he's probably not game to have that guilt on his soul, and fair enough. What I do with…
/r/RedPillWomen21/04/26 03:27 AM
0

Virginity is a very different challenge for men than it is for women. If the other guy dumped you for not being a virgin, then is it safe to say you were some time in that relationship and he was struggling with that fact for some time? Men who have options don't really spend long in a relationship where they have such a major deal-breaker so we can say that he didn't have many options, unless he dumped you immediately as soon as he found out. The redpill describes women as the gatekeepers of se…
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/26 12:00 AM
7

I've got an Endorsed Contributor flair and I'm going to pull rank. There is no "official redpill" perspective on paying on dates. It's entirely up to you/the man you're dating. I am up for an argument if anyone wants one.
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/26 07:48 AM
3

Sorry I think this is unhelpful sophistry. Women won't understand what men want untill it's explained to them. No amount of trying to "balance" yourself will replace reading For Women Only.
/r/RedPillWomen16/04/26 03:19 PM
3

Why is being "well rounded" in masculinity and femininity desirable? What does it achieve?
/r/RedPillWomen16/04/26 01:53 PM
3

Submission, frankly, doesn't need to be taught. Even men submit to superior men. What does need to be taught, or rather untaught, is the attitude of women who think emulating masculine behaviour will achieve their relationship goals. On RPW we treat submission as a strategy for achieving goals. I would recommend you read all the discussion in the comments as well as it is a perfect primer to the tone and understanding of RP on RPW. Nature vs nurture is a fascinating topic aside from strategy, an…
/r/RedPillWomen16/04/26 01:49 PM
7

It doesn't sound like he's committed. Messaging other girls, refusing to talk about the future after 4 years together in his 20s, keeping a distance between you and his family, doesn't sound promising. If he's annoyed that you want cohabitation now instead of before, but refuses to talk about when it should happen, then you know he has no intentions of making it happen.
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/26 04:28 AM
5

Every relationship is different. Some men hate having a woman manage their every day and some men rely on it. Some men have never put effort in and some men put more effort in when you do. You can ask him for feedback - "is it ok if I plan our next date?" Periods that feel difficult are normal in relationships. You just have to save the good feelings from when it was easy to carry you over until it's easy again. Don't give up just because it feels difficult. The second time it gets difficult it …
/r/RedPillWomen02/04/26 09:57 AM
8

but the urge to step in and offer things for us to do is growing because at the end of the day I do want to spend time together but I can't be the one to orchestrate what we're going to do You've been together 1 year and describe your relationship as committed. I don't understand why you can't plan dates? If you want to spend more time with him, plan those dates yourself. There is no reason why after a year he is the only one that has to do all that. "Don't initiate" is great advice for the init…
/r/RedPillWomen02/04/26 02:26 AM
3

When you love someone you don't discard them when the dynamic doesn't fit anymore. If he lost his income you would have nothing to do with him. Love is, among other things, a desire to commit for the future come what may. If you were honest to him about what you think about his looks or how you want to date younger men, I doubt he would still say he loves you or that you two can be together forever. Please also understand that men look down on women who participate in sex work/sugaring/etc and t…
/r/RedPillWomen30/03/26 01:05 AM
3

To say that he is paying for sex you are also saying that the OP is willingly sellng it. In my opinion this is a sugar baby/gold digger situation even if those words aren't being used. OP doesn't say she loves him back, and she implies she doesn't find him attractive at all. Her concerns are materialistic. At best they have a transactional relationship where each knows exactly what the other is offering and at worst he has oneitis for a younger woman who is playing him for a fool. I would much r…
/r/RedPillWomen27/03/26 01:14 PM
2

There is a very large middle ground between "brokies" and men who have to pay for sex. You are setting a false dichotomy.
/r/RedPillWomen26/03/26 01:40 PM
3

I'm not going to discuss timings or words, though those are important, but about attitudes and insight you need to have. I'm really sorry you only realised now at 28 that your 20s are your prime, seriously, that's so messed up that we aren't aware of this from teen age. But also, your experience is not unusual even for women who know about all this - 28 is the start of the Epiphany Phase which is exactly this. The realisation that you are no longer the hottest thing and your male peers who you w…
/r/RedPillWomen25/03/26 12:48 AM
6

Only if she doesn't plan to follow through with it. The alternative is to not tell him this is a deal breaker for her which arguably is even more mindgamesy. If she isn't prepared to walk over it then it's a terrible idea. But you're underestimating how totally woman want ultimate commitment from a man. If one isn't willing to give it to them many would, in fact, walk.
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/26 01:39 AM
10

I had grand ideas of how I'd be in a relationship when I was single. I would be submissive, I would put out all the time, I would be kind, I would be doting, I would be patient, etc. I didn't end up living up to them. I nag, I get irrationally angry about small things, I get impatient, I don't initiate often and sometimes just fall asleep when he does. This is real life. When you're in a real relationship you can tell us how you're going but building a fantasy life doesn't mean anything. Luckily…
/r/RedPillWomen20/03/26 10:23 PM
20

If you meant what you said, how can you marry him? Men need respect like women need love. If you don't respect him, how can he be happy in the marriage, and how can you make a good wife for him?
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/26 09:19 AM
10

Who are the third parties and what were the circumstances of him deferring to them? Why do you want to continue the relationship if you really think that he is weak - or did you not mean what you said?
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/26 09:07 AM
20

I had heaps of energy and creativity my whole life. I have always enjoyed shows and books and music. Whatever is going on with you is not femininity. Maybe go to a doctor, describe your symptoms, and get them to check you out? This isn't normal.
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/26 02:35 AM
2

19 vs 22 is really splitting hairs. The maturity boost alone from 19 to 22 likely makes you a more enticing partner for purely psychological reasons. Men don't really like the drama that goes along with dating young women, so being low(er) maintenance is an instant RMV boost. But if you want to split hairs - it really depends on your genetics and stress levels and probably a thousand different tiny things. Weight is also a factor, losing/gaining weight will make more difference than aging 3 year…
/r/RedPillWomen16/03/26 01:17 PM
18

I surmise that men, as they get older, will preference low maintenance vibes as discussed in this article. Less tolerance for drama, gossip, emotional instability, shit testing, etc.
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/26 03:53 AM
14

Hearing you guys are ring shopping is a bit of a shock. That's important info that needs to be edited in the post. I'm guessing he agrees with your plans about motherhood as well. RP is about reality not romanticism. If you want to make this relationship work you need to read For Women Only because your expectations are not realistic and your understanding of men is wrong. Traditional men wake up, work their butt off for their family, like having food on the table when they get home, like not be…
/r/RedPillWomen03/03/26 04:23 AM
7

While The Wall represents the point at which men's and women's SMV equalises and power shifts to men rather than women in the SMP, the Epiphany Phase is when women realise this shift is occurring/ has occurred and try to lock down a good man. It was coined by Rollo Tomassi but I'm reading his article on it now and I don't feel comfortable linking it on RPW because a) in typical Rollo fashion, a lot of it is irrelevant and b) I don't think it will actually be helpful to someone in the Hopeless Ph…
/r/RedPillWomen03/03/26 02:34 AM
19

You're asking him to do frankly weird and unnatural things. If my husband asked me for monthly check ins or asked me to initiate holding his hand in public, regardless of gender differences, he would get the major side eye. If you want dates you plan them. If you want to hold his hand you hold it. If you are having problems bring him something he can solve. Don't treat him like a therapist or expect him to be feminine and soothe your emotions without solving anything. That's what your girl frien…
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/26 11:08 PM
16

This is so true, and I definitely fell into the hopeless phase myself when I was new. I hope we can come to recognise this phase as a part of discovering the Red Pill and move forwards from it. To newbies: stick around, lurk, and don't buy into the most sensational take even if it feeds your confirmation bias. The correct answer is normally in the middle. There is a similar concept in the male red pill called the Epiphany Phase which happens after The Wall. I think what distinguishes the epiphan…
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/26 09:42 PM
4

If this is stressing you out then vet a man for a long time and see him in a range of styles and settings - makeup vs no makeup, pretty dress vs work wear - before you sleep with him. I recommend dressing slightly better than you normally do, so as not to put on an unmaintainable standard or lead him on, but still show "effort". Remember that other people are also more forgiving about looks than women are to themselves. Men are aware when they meet you on dates, it's a glamorised version of you …
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/26 12:26 AM
3

Thank you Vas.
/r/RedPillWomen27/02/26 10:51 PM
4

if you have a 1% or 2% match rate, there's more to the story I genuinely thought this was called "being a woman". Anyway. My husband says we are arguing at cross purposes for the most part, and men's definition of a standard seems quite different from mine, so I'll leave it here.
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/26 09:00 AM
5

Nice to talk to you too! If you're not at the top of the SMP things actually get easier for you! I got heated in this thread - but the main point is women need to be picky so they can choose between the different men who pursue them. It's not a problem until you're mid twenties, but it's still early days. I don't place that much importance on a "date". If I liked someone I would simply be around them more - eg if I saw him in the computer lab I'd also go there. In fact I'd go more often in the h…
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/26 07:22 AM
4

Also: they're a) 19 yo males and b) engineering students. Even an uggo 19 yo girl outranks them in the SMP almost all the time.
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/26 05:05 AM
3

Based on her post I'm guessing she is really attractive. Her casually saying men are pursuing her is giving me that vibe. Intelligence and attractiveness are also correlated. But if she isn't, then yes she needs to stick to men in her SMV, but even then, that's only an extra 10 men out of 100 as I detailed in my comment, who are easily disqualified based on other incompatibilities. It's not much better numbers wise.
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/26 04:54 AM
4

Do you know how absurd it is for you to declare a NINETEEN YEAR OLD will end up alone and miserable? OP has many years to go before she is 40. She is also at peak attractiveness and can afford to be picky. There is absolutely zero reason for a smart, attractive young woman to settle or consider settling until her late 20s. When she is that age we can resume this conversation and I will be on your side. Note also that I wasn't asked out until my third year of University by the man I accepted, OP …
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/26 03:58 AM
3

Please read my own response posted just now to the same comment you replied to - 100 potential matches is no guarantee. I was in the same position as OP and have hard numbers. The problem wasn't me, it was my SMV/IQ excluding a large swathe of men.
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/26 01:34 AM
3

Let's talk numbers. I went to university in a STEM field as a wee lass of 17. In the whole time I was there, I spoke to maybe 100 men (there were more there but these are the men I would have spoken to). In first year, I was asked out, and I rejected him. In third year, I was asked out by someone else and I accepted him. That is TWO DATES. A few men showed interest more subtly but either lost interest or I put them off deliberately because I didn't like them. Of all the men there I had good rapp…
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/26 01:30 AM
–

I get it, you've had a major shock when your husband died AND you're pregnant!! The grief and hormones would be bending your brain. Being confused and disoriented is totally expected. Please take care of yourself, your children, and your fiance. Sending hugs.
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/26 12:50 AM
2

I don't think you will get this lucky again. Make it work with this man, whatever you have to do. Help him not to reoffend. Stop spending money, stop asking him for money, and start helping him to save it. Be personally responsible for making sure your savings increase every month. Cook instead of getting takeout. You're dreaming about the best case scenario - which is that some rich guy will come sweep you off your feet - but have you considered the worst case scenario? You, a widow, four kids,…
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/26 12:25 AM
8

I think you should neither wait nor put pressure on yourself to make something happen now. Sounds like you did like one guy but he wasn't offering commitment. You can afford to be picky, but you can't afford to isolate yourself. So just keep doing social things and mingle and see what comes up.
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/26 10:25 PM
8

If she intends on going to grad school at 21, it is likely she will find someone else who is more qualified there, who will likely also be more mature than her same age compatriots here (who have... other priorities).
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/26 10:21 PM
3

Agreeableness is actually very well defined as part of the Big 5/5 Factor Personality model. There is heaps of research and discussion on it. Typical gender differences between men and women is that women are higher than men in both agreeableness and neuroticism in the Big 5. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agreeableness https://youtu.be/Tc5YUOIhreQ?si=m7pcFbv4Hs4l3Juu
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/26 09:35 PM
5

Don't be too desperate, and move elsewhere if you can. Keep an open mind. If the dating market is that bad then men are equally pressed to find women, and young women hold more power in the dating market. Simply talking to men and being approachable, agreeable, and looking good should be enough. If one man doesn't talk to you enough for you to be able to flirt, try making up a bad excuse to talk to him.
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/26 10:39 AM
19

Okay. But it is over. And you have plenty of time to find someone. There is no reason to believe this is the guy if it went so badly the first time. Moreover, you are 21. Behaving poorly in a relationship at that age is not unusual. It is likely you would have wanted to change simply from getting older and becoming more mature.
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/26 04:44 AM
33

Start over without this baggage with someone new, exes are exes for a reason.
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/26 04:09 AM
10

I get the sentiment, I really do, but every woman is hypergamous, and the women those wealthy men end up marrying cannot distinguish the wealth from the rest of his characteristics. A man wondering if a woman would marry him without his wealth/earning potential is like a woman wondering if a man would love her if she was a worm.
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/26 12:28 AM
4

What is your to-do list? How important can it be if it's not done regularly anyway? I just don't do stuff that I don't want to do, and I don't worry about it anymore, so it's off my mind. If it really stressed me out I will tell my husband about it and he can either offer an alternative solution, tell me it doesn't matter, or do it himself. Work stress is something that gets better with age and experience. I get much less stressed about work now than I did in my 20s. Not particularly helpful to …
/r/RedPillWomen10/02/26 10:00 PM
2

Simply saying you are looking for an exclusive monogamous relationship will set the tone. I think there are a lot of men who want to "just have fun" and not get locked down to anything but you want to steer clear of those men anyway. If he doesn't have feelings early on he's not your guy. Answered by others. It impacts it a lot, by up to 28%! And men mostly prefer longer hair on women. But also your current style may help you vet for men that will be okay with your past and your journey. That mi…
/r/RedPillWomen10/02/26 12:13 AM
3

Once anyone is rejected they are more wary of starting again with the same person. Be careful not to become a plate (ie: a non exclusive sexual partner).
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/26 11:51 PM
11

Men around me sometimes lie, raise their voices, scream, threaten self harm or harm on me or try to intimidate Mmmmm, not all of this is abusive but a lot of it is. Have you ever dated a man that was just nice and didn't resort to nastiness? If everyone you date is like this it's not just them that is the issue, it is you. I'm sure you know plenty of men that would treat you well, but they're not the ones you date. Why is that? Here's an article on dominance levels that might help you understand…
/r/RedPillWomen04/02/26 04:47 AM
1

If she doesn't challenge the prenup, it's not a problem. Lawyers only become involved when you actively make yourself a problem. None of the things in the comment above are a natural consequence of dating a rich man.
/r/RedPillWomen03/02/26 12:48 AM
8

Oof this sounds like he is using you for validation, but doesn't see you as a marriage prospect. If he is dedicated to his faith enough not to kiss you (despite you being willing and suggestive which he is DEFINITELY aware of) then he is likely also dedicated enough to only marry someone from his religion. Sorry that's my take.
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/26 11:19 PM
12

Because he doesn't care about wasting your time or snapping you up. To him you're his safe fallback that he doesn't have to spend much effort on that he can get if nothing better comes along. Men who love someone, men who value others' time, don't leave them hanging for two years. He doesn't know if he can get anyone better and he's keeping you on the hook because it makes him feel secure. Once you dump him he'll panic and realise his safe bet is gone and he has no one.
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/26 10:50 PM
16

Sometimes women write in complaining they're a forever girlfriend. It's been two years and you're not even a girlfriend! You have other options surely. Start dating other people seriously because two years spent on nothing is ridiculous.
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/26 10:46 PM
14

Him not answering you about important questions, him not confirming plan or timelines, is a waste of time imo. Has he even called you his girlfriend?
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/26 10:40 PM
6

It might be worth asking more questions and having deep and meaningfuls about political views (and other taboo topics) early on, too.
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/26 02:24 AM
11

You are not asking nearly enough questions or the right ones. If his lifestyle/politics is too divergent from yours then you have to decide how to move past that going forward. Will you always follow his lead? Will you respect differences of opinion? Will you insist on arguing? I recommend doing what you think you will do long term (ie, imagine being married for 2 years, being comfortable, you're not longer scared of putting him off and react now the way you think you will react then). Ie, if yo…
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/26 12:55 AM
5

Simply staying grounded, being grateful, not living beyond your means, and not getting involved in legal disputes would negate any of the scenarios you mentioned. Even if he has the best lawyers - what could he possibly sue her for with such a wealth disparity?
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/26 12:37 AM
4

The difference is that they can easily project their fantasies onto a blank slate (ie: someone they don't know in their imagination) vs someone in reality whom they can't control.
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/26 02:50 AM
8

I doubt it. No offence. But a man's willingness to pay for you isn't a function of your attractiveness, unless you're looking for a transactional relationship. This is just the dating market now.
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/26 01:20 AM
6

What is your BMI? Have you tried a soft glow up - hair, makeup, etc? Do you dress/groom well when going out? If you spot a man who you are attracted to - do you drop the handkerchief?
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/26 12:25 AM
5

I recently heard a YouTuber and his wife discuss the Hire A Hubby handyman franchise for this exact thing. To be fair to you, the husband made the same point you did. It got him to actually fix the thing.
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/26 04:15 AM
3

Oh heck
/r/RedPillWomen18/01/26 10:36 PM
8

Are you point blank refusing to acknowledge that your breakup had anything to do with this?
/r/RedPillWomen18/01/26 03:18 AM
3

We had a recent thread about asexuality. The focus for redpill women here is getting a desirable man to commit, and the "harsh truth" part of it is that we have to acknowledge what is not attractive to men in us (high N count, lack of loyalty, unfeminine behaviours, whether we've hit the wall) and change ourselves to overcome our negative traits. It doesn't mean that we don't believe in love or don't do things for love. Your asexuality/aromanticism is likely your most negative trait, since you c…
/r/RedPillWomen14/01/26 04:26 AM
4

It's about finding a man you want. Most women want a man they are passionate about. Even more of the women here want to feel loved by a man they love, even if not passionately. And it is foundational theory that men want respect, while women want love. We don't prescribe what kind of man to go for, but we will explain what risks you will get with certain types of men. The case has been made for The Greater Beta. In your case I have to warn you that you will never be excited or in love if you are…
/r/RedPillWomen13/01/26 07:09 AM
4

I saw the mod note but since this post is still up I'll answer. You're missing attraction in your understanding of the theory. Your definition of "red pill man" is our definition of beta. If he's getting away with sex without paying for it, he must be tricking, taking advantage of them, doing unethical things etc. I don't think normal women who aren't vulnerable in any way are really attracted to a man that takes sex from her whilst providing her nothing Wrong. (Certain) Men are attractive to wo…
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/26 11:51 PM
15

When you're dating or meeting men, please do not: tell them you have not got much to offer them tell them about all your problems on the first few meetings tell them about what goods/services you can offer them Dating should be.. more natural and less transactional. You two should be having fun together and chatting. Have you ever had a friend that you just wanted to be around? That's what a relationship should feel like. Reducing it to childbearing and maid services feels like you are missing t…
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/26 05:04 AM
5

That's fair, but can you narrow down to a 5 year range?
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/26 03:27 AM
10

That's a crazy big range.
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/26 03:11 AM
5

How old are you?
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/26 02:59 AM
7

Others have given good advice. I just want to say that even though I love listening to news podcasts and staying up to date, I hate getting into arguments about it (or frankly anything else) with my friends and family. Even about other stuff that's not politics. It's just not a pleasant feeling. But politics has like a 75% argument rate which is disastrously high. Rather than saying you don't want to talk politics which will probably feel like rejecting his personality you can try saying "We alw…
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/26 02:53 AM
4

Mmm. But 5 month old healthy adult relationships should be defined by never reaching a breaking point. The breaking point would ideally be explored much later on in the relationship and the happy honeymoon glow would extend for the first 6-12 months. Putting your fledgling relationship under stress is not a good move.
/r/RedPillWomen08/01/26 04:17 PM
6

I agree with Wife and Mama in this thread. Your breakup has damaged your relationship, not improved it. See this post on Why Getting Him Back Won't Help. He already knows that getting you flowers won't make you not want to break up with him. He already knows that him putting in maximum effort won't stop you from wanting to break up with him. He already knows you will break up with him and get back with him on a whim. There is nothing motivating him here.
/r/RedPillWomen08/01/26 03:48 PM
5

Read The Final Exam and be super wary because you may be playing out of your league If none of the men you are dating/sleeping with want to commit, you're likely playing out of your league and need to drop your standards.
/r/RedPillWomen08/01/26 03:12 AM
20

Flirting/compliments/looks/light touches are fine and expected but any men who are overtly sexual towards you are not serious about you. A man would not risk offending his future wife. They make such overt passes because they think they have nothing to lose. I think you've been giving them a lot more time than they deserve. Immediately next men who are sexual towards you. You should not be initiating or entertaining extended conversations about looks or anything suggestive or sexual. Have you be…
/r/RedPillWomen08/01/26 02:47 AM
2

Mmm I don't know, those new examples all sound like not his fault. It sounds like you are blowing minor things out of proportion. I get the hotel thing but these are not concerning in the same way at all.
/r/RedPillWomen06/01/26 03:01 PM
2

Yeah honestly that hotel incident is really disturbing. If it were me, I would not ask him to delete me from socials though - if he is a cheater, that is the only way you would find out, right? And this was someone in another country, not his friends in the same country. What other incidents? It may be that you are just with an unfaithful man. I'm sorry if that is the case.
/r/RedPillWomen06/01/26 01:30 PM
3

Are the women reacting badly to you friends with his exes (they may be treating you badly as an act of loyalty to them)? Are they single (if so, they may view you as competition for him and react with jealousy)? Are you from a different culture to your husband and these women? In general women already react badly to a man taking a much younger wife, especially one from overseas. This is already something that makes you unpopular, especially for women in unhappy marriages because they're afraid t…
/r/RedPillWomen06/01/26 11:26 AM
5

I read in another comment that you have not spent much time among people growing up. People saying they've seen you is normal. Coworkers do it to me all the time, "I saw you at so-and-so" even though we are not that close. It's just a natural response. It's common also for people to say this about people they know in common with me. There's nothing strange in this, they are being friendly and sharing connection with you. Once you marry a man, his friends are your friends and his troubles are you…
/r/RedPillWomen06/01/26 06:02 AM
6

I recommend reading the following articles, they explain male attraction somewhat. Men Don't Care About Your Accomplishments What Men Think about Your Intelligence Men Don't Fall In Love The Same Way Women Do If you're asking specifically what makes a man want to marry vs simply date you, that's slightly different.
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/26 01:58 AM
3

That's literally what she's asking.
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/26 01:39 AM
4

I read some of your comments on other posts, specifically the ones where you say you could die and no one would care. I also read the one where you say you tried to leave 6 years ago and couldn't. So I'll answer with the understanding that you are unable to leave this relationship. But I will explain things as best I can from a theory perspective, especially why you don't owe this man any submission or unconditional respect. At RPW, we are submissive/respectful towards a man that has our best in…
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/25 10:41 PM
10

Imo if you're seeing this doctor in secret and it's already a big violation of trust, I don't see why not to go through with the surgery. You're already doing it behind your partner's back. You already think his judgement is wrong and have made decisions on your own behalf. Unless you specifically mentioned it there's no reason your male doctor would know that you personally would have an issue with him seeing your vagina. You are also continuing to see your female doctor for PT even though your…
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/25 02:34 AM
3

You might be interested in Who Killed Marriage 1.0.
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/25 12:38 AM
5

Ask for napkins, or make a bad excuse to talk to him. The worse the excuse the better.
/r/RedPillWomen09/12/25 11:19 PM
3

When I answered initially I thought that the "selfish" thing seems to be artificially imposed upon herself, not an accurate description of her feelings, and didn't want to judge her for trying. On reflection though, what you do is who you are. Not answering someone's commitment question while taking their commitment for granted is rude. She gets a lot of validation and status from having this man pay attention to her and take her on dates. Like you said, she needs to decide whether she's in or o…
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/25 01:53 AM
10

He hasn't asked anything of you that you're not willing to give. Follow his lead. If he cuts down on the time he can give you, react accordingly. When people (well, men) are going through something tough and they know you have scars about that or something else, they'll tend to shield you anyway. I told a man that my previous partner died of cancer the year before, but he never told me he was dying of cancer too. I just thought he was depressed (he was, but that wasn't the whole story). So yeah.…
/r/RedPillWomen07/12/25 11:17 PM
4

From the Wiki on Understanding RPW vs TRP: RP women are not trying to specifically date ‘RP aware’ men. Many naturally masculine men will display certain red pill characteristics, but have no familiarity with the actual term ‘red pill.’ Some men that read and participate on RP subs may make good leaders and are in fact already leading relationships of their own. Some men that read and participate on RP subs are textbook examples of what RP women should avoid. There is no central redpill authorit…
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/25 10:08 PM
15

Give men more time. The same amount of time you gave the bad boys to see their true character should also be enough time for you to evaluate whether the safe guy is actually boring. Don't sleep with men you aren't attracted to and don't sleep with men that don't make good fathers. Hopefully you can find someone that is both attractive and husband material. Here's an article discussing how women typically require time to fall for a man: Men don't fall in love the same way women do which in your c…
/r/RedPillWomen25/11/25 11:12 AM
1

I'm a woman. I think it's stupid to advise someone to break up when they are entitled or flawed. If they are, and will have no trouble getting a man, by all means they can. But OP herself says she is masculine. Masculine men don't want masculine women.
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/25 01:14 AM
2

No probs. Although your history with him is messy I think it's cute you two keep coming back to each other. I hope I works out.
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/25 01:24 AM
2

No, it's not too late and he's giving you very clear signals that he is open for a serious relationship with you. Him choosing not to hook up after your recent dates is him showing you that he's not just after sex. Him asking about your plans and timeline is a sign that he wants to align his with yours. Proceed cautiously but implement Incremental Reciprocation. When he shows that he's including you in his future, respond by showing you include him in yours and increase your commitment to him. H…
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/25 01:11 AM
2

Yeah being rejected will do that to a guy. Men like to feel needed and loved and you made him sound and feel like one of your male harem. Before a man invests in you, ESPECIALLY if he has options, he wants you to be invested in him. If you did you not show investment in him, how can he invest in you?
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/25 12:48 AM
3

Is he genuinely seeing me in a more serious light this time Girl you were the one rejecting him, making fun of him, and jerking him around like a yo yo. Every time he proposed something serious YOU shut him down. He should be asking are YOU seeing him in a serious light this time. He may have oneitis for you, in which case you're in luck, or he may be looking for revenge for how you treated him in the past. Watch out for the latter but it is most likely the former.
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/25 06:43 AM
9

To me it sounds like he is attracted to you physically but not romantically. He may have been put off by your forwardness, expecting more of a "chase", and the lack of that, or lack of femininity/coyness makes him disinterested. He may be scared by work rules or he may already be in a relationship that he prefers not to talk about. We and you don't know. But you making passes at him more than once is tactless. It is a bad idea for women to initiate (because it decreases their ability to vet the …
/r/RedPillWomen13/10/25 10:07 AM
1

That's just wrong, sorry.
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/25 07:28 AM
5

Make a list of all the things you want to fix, then make a list of all the fun stuff you want to try doing by yourself! Also keep a daily gratitude journal - this is super important, and got me out of a depressive funk. Exercise, eat right, get fit. Are you earning money? Invest some money into hobbies or activities. A team sport would likely be very good for you because it comes with camaraderie from the team. You need some achievements to give you some pride, and you need to branch out to try …
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/25 12:01 AM
9

Do you have your own car and simply decided to be using his for the day? "He makes the money" - is he supporting you or do you support yourself financially? If so, how did you two enter into that arrangement - ie what discussions led up to that? Did you sacrifice a job to do something or at his request or was it like a favour to you? What are your goals? What do you expect to achieve in the relationship vs if you were single?
/r/RedPillWomen04/09/25 01:48 AM
5

You shouldn't be stalking his social medias but that's less important than the fact that you're wasting your time in a dead end LDR. If by this point there are no plans for either of you to move to each other or close the gap, I don't see how this relationship can work. Focus on picking emotionally available local men that treat you well and are enthusiastic about you. If you are naturally insecure, a LDR is going to make all of your insecurities worse.
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/25 10:34 PM
9

Have a read of this post on dominance levels as it goes into detail into the different dynamics. I don't think being a SAHM is a question of dynamics, it's a totally separate criteria. That said, if you're relatively young (say early 20s) then I wouldn't focus on a specific type just yet. Meet men and see what attracts you and forget about labels. I thought I had a type (dandy/twink) in my teens/early 20s but ended up with the opposite. You wouldn't want to miss a great match just because you th…
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/25 07:43 AM
5

Are you a sugar baby or aiming to be? If you're looking for love and connection at 20 you have to date your own age or roughly 3 years older as Wife_And_Mama said. Dating much much older men at 20 for their wealth is going to leave you used and jaded by 30. Also everything that guy said was rubbish. He didn't think you had great potential or were going to be powerful. He just thought you would like him if he said that.
/r/RedPillWomen30/08/25 12:54 AM
2

Oh that's a major twist. How old are you?
/r/RedPillWomen29/08/25 11:32 PM
2

Eight years is definitely notably older, but in the first post I linked the age difference was only 1 (!) year and it had such an effect on the guy writing that he decided to blog about it and label it "older woman". Maybe he believed he'd always settle down with a "young" woman? Idk. But his feelings were shared by the woman that rejected him. I think when dating younger, women also have to take into account the typical age men want children at and the typical age men want to "settle down" at. …
/r/RedPillWomen29/08/25 11:06 PM
3

Younger men often date older women as "practice". Rules Revisited has written about older women; Some Older Women are Smart How Men See Older Women Generally, men don't see older women as a serious prospect.
/r/RedPillWomen29/08/25 10:30 PM
5

I see so much cognitive dissonance in this post. Words have meanings and you're throwing around contradictory ones. You're both Christian but he sleeps around and you're somehow appeased by expensive presents. He says he doesn't want to marry you and you're sure he'll change his mind. You two are soulmates but have glaring incompatibilities like him disliking your past and you disliking his actions and leadership. He makes you a worse version of yourself, angrier, sadder, more resentful, and he …
/r/RedPillWomen29/08/25 08:47 AM
5

If you two are Christians why is your boyfriend insisting on not marrying you and sleeping around?
/r/RedPillWomen29/08/25 07:40 AM
7

Why are you planning to start a relationship with a man that will only be in your country for four months? How is this relationship going to work?
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/25 12:14 AM
13

Regardless of whether you were impressed, he clearly meant to impress you with his money. I don't think that men who do that are looking for something long term or honourable.
/r/RedPillWomen25/08/25 03:41 AM
31

Nothing about this interaction makes sense. Seems like mind games. Guys who are forward about their money and casually offer expensive trips to impressionable young women are not serious prospects in my opinion.
/r/RedPillWomen25/08/25 03:18 AM
64

He wants sex.
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/25 03:43 AM
2

I'd lose weight and ask again.
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/25 12:57 AM
1

Did you get your answers?
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/25 05:11 AM
3

I think it's a rite of passage, it's the quarter life crisis for women. But yes a lot of women have this fear and panic hit them around 25 and they always think no one has ever felt this way before, they're the first ones who have read the redpill, and there couldn't possibly be any ECs here who have gone through the same thing some years ago. I may or may not be describing myself! 😅 But yeah the condescension was specifically because OP ticked me off when she started telling me, a 30+ yo, what …
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/25 01:51 AM
9

Who says? 20 year olds? Of course 20 year old men are not interested in 30 year old women. Men who are over 30 will date women who are also over 30, often with a slight age gap. Women who have hit the wall are often unrealistic and try to date the same calibre of men they got used to in their 20s, not realising that they can't hold their interest anymore. It doesn't mean they can't get a date or can't be happy. That post that you say you've read says: What if you’ve hit The Wall and you’re still…
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/25 04:31 AM
6

And you took that to mean they're not attracted to anyone older than 25? Men are also not super picky, and would rather a 6 that treats them well to an 8 that doesn't.
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/25 03:50 AM
16

The peak is not a cliff, and the Wall is a reversal of the relative SMV between the sexes. It's not the obliteration of women's SMV.
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/25 03:33 AM
3

Have you read the pinned post at the top of the subreddit on the subject of the wall?
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/25 03:25 AM
9

I am in a relationship with an older man but I don't behave like you dream about. He has faults and still annoys me daily, even if we are a great match and I am very happy to have found him. Our relationship is more like your relationship with your bf minus the part where you are miserable. I don't serve him, we are a team, we support each other. We both work, I support myself financially until we are married and immediately after marriage the plan is I will continue to work. I wrote recently on…
/r/RedPillWomen15/08/25 12:41 AM
1

Oh the post was archived in the comments here: https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/18nvigf/comment/ked6fq7/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button Sounds like the husband did have anger issues but OP also had some things to work on.
/r/RedPillWomen15/08/25 12:15 AM
1

I'd agree with that, one person can easily destroy peace. But I think in this case (memory fails me) OP was partly at fault.
/r/RedPillWomen14/08/25 11:34 PM
5

Your opinion is not universal.
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/25 07:33 AM
6

There's nothing that riles RP men up like marriage. So what you want is equality? I don't see how what you want is redpilled. Women should act like men? They should have the same reactions, have the same expectations? Of course if we flip genders nothing will be the same anymore. If men had the same monthly hormonal fluctuations, the same vulnerability while pregnant, the same Wall, they might make the same demands. You want to date your male friend with boobs? The same feminine qualities that m…
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/25 03:41 AM
4

I think he was simply prompting some long term thought. Eg maybe she had a checklist like "graduate by 22, marry by 25, have two kids by 30". Maybe he wanted her to consider whether the man she wants to marry at 25 is still the man she wants to be married to at 45.
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/25 01:04 AM
3

Have you read my Marriage post? There is a reason for these gender differences. What women want from men is very specific.
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/25 01:01 AM
11

Your edit is weird. Why would you approach a man knowing full well you can't commit to him? You're essentially just saying "use me for sex". That said even before dropping the handkerchief, there's a lot you can do. Make eyes at him, be in his line of sight, eg if at a party, deliberately let him catch you looking at him, smile at him, glance away and back, etc. But in a busy moving environment like a train station this is not possible. I recently watched Solaris (2002) and this is how Rheya cau…
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/25 12:30 AM
2

Lifestyle is not the right word for it, so I don't know if that was it. I was hoping he would have a mission or purpose or drive. It was 2020/2021 and there was this general sense of dread and wrongness like everything in the world was topsy turvy and wrong. His opinions and mine aligned. I knew he was intelligent, experienced and could probably build anything he wanted to so I wanted to future proof and stick with this guy.
/r/RedPillWomen05/08/25 11:28 PM
8

I had a whole spiel typed up about how it wasn't that big a deal in my relationship, I was generally respectful but not outright submissive, and then I had a chat to my fiance-partner-man-guy, and asked him if he would describe me as submissive. He said, "yes because I take the lead and you normally agree". I was like, "oh, really?" And he said "yes, for example if I say, we're going out to eat, you go along". And I said, "but last time that happened I said let's not because it's expensive and w…
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/25 03:16 AM
2

Sex with someone you don't want sex with is a negative thing. In the extreme it's called rape.
/r/RedPillWomen03/08/25 02:50 AM
4

I'd link you the full glossary but Idk if it's too vulgar.
/r/RedPillWomen01/08/25 12:45 AM
5

Four months is not long enough for you to conclude you've peaked. You definitely messed up the second guy - next time don't assume - but given that one of your exes is still orbiting you, your RMV is likely making up for your SMV and your SMV is not that low. Like I said, intelligent men want intelligent women. Don't wait too long. Btw anyone who knows your ex likely won't approach you while you are still friends with him. Just a heads up.
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/25 11:12 PM
5

No, I think you're way off. Childhood friends totally dump each other when they grow up, I got pumped and dumped by someone I went to school with. The amount of men that approach you on the street is not the best indicator of SMV and definitely not RMV. As you say, your friends might get 20 guys but don't want to date any of them. It is clearly your RMV that is attracting these high quality men, and that is not gauged in the street when you are avoiding eye contact and running away, it is gauged…
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/25 08:48 AM
5

It sounds like you are pretty enough for those men to commit to, and both relationships were going places before you ended them. Your SMV and RMV are fine, those guys are in your league, as two coincidences are not coincidences. Work on finding another guy or trying to get the second guy back if he has no hard feelings. At this stage I think you still have time and opportunities to meet men and can probably use your social circle to find someone similar to your exes. Getting men to marry might b…
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/25 06:18 AM
9

In general your "level" is slightly higher than your most attractive beta orbiter. In reality my beta orbiters were about my level, ie I could date them, but often had one or two major incompatibilities that excluded them, including looks, dominance levels, and outlook. Don't get me wrong they gave me the ick. But in hindsight I see it was positive because it meant only one or two things could be different and I'd have a good mate (probably why I didn't have much trouble dating). frustrating kno…
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/25 03:26 AM
3

My hair isn't even that long, but long enough to be identifiable as mine. I thought all the little beard shavings were clogging it up but it was me :(
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/25 12:30 AM
11

How much from experience are you talking? Is this you having lived with someone that was untidy and wanting to avoid that or have you never lived with a romantic partner before? In my experience everyone has their "neat" blind spots. I have unblocked my bathroom sink before and to my horror it was full of long hair - from my head. I didn't even realise it got in there. In general I think of myself as neat but for example I leave cupboards open and my fiance hits his head on them so it bothers hi…
/r/RedPillWomen27/07/25 11:19 PM
4

Absolutely to each their own. I just think you are misunderstanding what they're getting defensive about.
/r/RedPillWomen26/07/25 05:14 AM
4

get tested and get him tested too Has anyone actually done this and not scared the man off? Like if I was a dude I'd be weirded out by this and assume the girl had had SO MUCH unprotected sex.
/r/RedPillWomen26/07/25 02:54 AM
18

How old are you and what kind of men are you meeting? How are you meeting? How soon do you have sex? How do you dress or present yourself? Everyone's approach is different. When I was young I had a lot of interest from men so I could afford to take my time and be discerning. I would present at least one (often more) modest aspect about myself, eg by maintaining personal space and not letting men get too close or holding them at physical arms length for a long time, building an emotional relation…
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/25 04:43 AM
1

Yeah ouch. He's never going to give her a relationship. I told my fiance about this situation and he said that a 36 yo man who, eg had never been married, likely doesn't want to, and was leading her on from the start.
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/25 01:29 AM
63

I don’t know what I am to him. No you do, you just won't admit it to yourself. He has demoted you to plate and is keeping you around for sex.
/r/RedPillWomen21/07/25 07:09 AM
4

Has your current LTR given you grief for it? Or does he not care/never asked?
/r/RedPillWomen21/07/25 04:45 AM
17

Do you two want children? Maybe subconsciously you are worried he can't provide for you while you are pregnant.
/r/RedPillWomen18/07/25 05:39 AM
10

Depends on your appetite for drama and what she brings to your life. She's already lied to your face to shut you up (you'd cancel one date if you were afraid, not four, and even then there's no reason to send a simple "I won't make it today" before blocking). So really depends on whether you think she'll lie again or come clean or whether you want to fight with her.
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/25 05:02 AM
1

Are you two dating exclusively now or still dating others?
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/25 04:12 AM
8

That directly contradicts your claim that he liked your strong personality. I think you should do some very hard thinking about whether your "strong" personality is a help or a hindrance.
/r/RedPillWomen14/07/25 04:01 PM
6

I fail to see how any of that is relevant to OP and her dating prospects. OP herself says she has never been kind and never will be. If you want to attack someone for being unkind maybe go for her. I'm pointing out the truth. Certain things are directly tied to a young lady's character and RMV and any sort of sex work disqualifies her as a wife or LTR for most men, let alone the rich and handsome ones. Yes it does imply things about her character and she will be judged harshly for it, not only b…
/r/RedPillWomen14/07/25 03:03 PM
10

The men that she wants will not be as generous as you are being about her character.
/r/RedPillWomen14/07/25 02:49 PM
6

Why did you two break up?
/r/RedPillWomen14/07/25 02:41 PM
14

Men who don't want to commit to any woman will literally do just that, stay single. Eg he hasn't even been "exclusive" with any woman in the past 4 years Actions over words imo. If his words and actions don't align, that's already a bad sign, but always believe what they do not what they say. How does him wishing he was married every year track with him enjoying being single? It doesn't. he made fun of this boundary I had set Him making fun of your boundary is very self serving and disrespectful…
/r/RedPillWomen13/07/25 07:08 AM
12

Some big lessons from previous relationships: If everything is a struggle it's not going to work out. In my first relationship there were so many problems and everything was hard but I wanted it to work because I fell in love with him. It would have been much easier if I had just called it quits (this was an off again on again relationship too). But it was my first and I didn't know what was ok. Similarly, to women in their first relationship, the world won't end if the relationship fails. That …
/r/RedPillWomen10/07/25 01:02 AM
8

It sounds like the lifestyle is something similar to a 24/7 version of roleplay where the woman is extremely submissive? I don't have much knowledge about that tbh. I guess you should talk to others who have tried that lifestyle and talk to them about what is reasonable to expect or set up boundaries at the start about what you will or won't do. Submission is like a catch 22 in that way because it starts out as something you think you want (no responsibility? Sounds great!) but over time, as you…
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/25 05:49 AM
2

Re: the delusional bit. What specifically did he say was delusional and what is "this lifestyle"?
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/25 05:14 AM
4

Oh. Well in that case he's right, but you should also be glad he did you a favour by dumping you. Dating is about vetting. Include the info you've already given in the post since that will get you a lot more specific responses. I would have done the same as you since I want someone at the very least, tolerant of differences, if not totally compatible. Even the most submissive tradwife is still going to be looking for a man that shares her values.
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/25 05:12 AM
2

Are you still with this man and is this issue still popping up? Seems like something we need a lot more specific detail on.
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/25 05:05 AM
2

Is this purely a hypothetical? If it doesn't impact any real world outcomes, like he's not asking you to go hunt Group A with him, it is likely just him testing/vetting you to see if you two are compatible or if he respects your judgement. If you want him to think you two are compatible/trustworthy you can lie and say Group A are abhorrent. If you also want to vet him and see if you two are compatible you tell the truth. If you're already married you can largely do what you like since it's a bit…
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/25 05:00 AM
32

If I was single, I would just enjoy the flirting but not think it is any deeper than that. He's literally doing his job. This is like when men go to a restaurant and think the waitress is flirting when she's literally just being nice. I wouldn't assume that he returns any of these feelings. Keep it professional, perve if you have to, and definitely don't mention any of your feelings.
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/25 04:46 AM
13

found very old photos of the friend and I that I will show him This will almost certainly make things worse.
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/25 11:50 PM
6

Who are the kinds of Polish men that are unattractive to Polish women? Any chance you can find one of them attractive?
/r/RedPillWomen05/07/25 04:23 AM
-3

Of the examples OP gave, you chose to only mention the one that was irrelevant? Him drinking girly drinks does say something about his personality, that he's a girly boy.
/r/RedPillWomen04/07/25 02:12 PM
1

I dunno, why do men dislike tattoos or blue hair or heavy drinking in women? These preferences don't have to make sense they just are. Are you redpilled or not?
/r/RedPillWomen04/07/25 11:27 AM
5

It wasn't a "therefore" just a detail that gave me whiplash after reading the post. Totally off topic sorry.
/r/RedPillWomen04/07/25 12:40 AM
5

Was it this one? Oh in that one OP revealed they were either a girl or didn't have a dick.
/r/RedPillWomen04/07/25 12:07 AM
16

He got so frustrated , angrily threw his clothes on the floor and left the room and didn't speak for me for the rest of the evening It's strange that you are boasting about not raising voices when this happens, as it is much worse than raised voices. Most people would prefer a screaming match to this. At least I would. Sex is a very vulnerable time and rejection and cold shoulder because of it is uniquely painful. Imagine if he had erectile dysfunction and you got angry and treated him like a pa…
/r/RedPillWomen03/07/25 12:14 AM
6

You are doing OP and women in general a disservice by saying "women are replaceable". Only the top 20% of men can easily find a date and only for the top ~5% of men are women truly replaceable. If you have a top 5% man, congratulations, but OP certainly does not. If you don't have a top 5% man you should be thinking quite hard about why you believe this. I see no reason any respectable man, let alone an average man, would try to bum off his girlfriend if he is bringing in income. He should be co…
/r/RedPillWomen01/07/25 03:11 AM
6

I don't know if this is what you want to hear or not, but the type of partner you can get while fat is going to be much worse than the type of partner you can get while slim. Your best strategy is almost certainly finding someone else after losing weight, even being 4 or 5 years older. I don't know your age but the weight is going to make more of a difference than being 5 years older while dating. This guy is not the best that "slim you" can do and he's already broken your trust. You don't menti…
/r/RedPillWomen01/07/25 02:12 AM
1

I'm not sure what you mean by this.
/r/RedPillWomen28/06/25 11:03 AM
1

I dabbled in waist training too, but even the under bust was useful t posture correcting. Over the shoulder types, if not fitted for the body may do more harm than good. Using a corset is an interesting way to teach your brain what it should be doing but it can't replace actual core muscle building as eventually you will tire and revert to poor posture. Yoga was better for me as I actually built up the muscles I needed to have good posture.
/r/RedPillWomen28/06/25 12:46 AM
2

he tells me how he’s surprised I hadn’t blocked him after our last conversation. Wow that line alone provokes so many questions. What well intentioned guy says this? So does he look down on you because you didn't block him? What did he do that deserved blocking (is there something he didn't tell you or you didn't mention)? Or is it the fact he was already talking to another girl but didn't break up with her by the time he messaged you? Does he expect to get away with more? I'm sure there's more …
/r/RedPillWomen25/06/25 04:58 AM
5

There is no sisterhood but women do so badly want to fit in with and be validated by other women. If you started criticising women you know that dressed immodesty and a lot of other women did at the same time, there absolutely would be an effect. Maybe one or two wouldn't have any effect but the twelfth time they hear it they might think twice. I think what you're conveying is that women who offer free sexuality (be it casual or NSA sex, prostitution, pornographic content, or lewd visuals or ski…
/r/RedPillWomen25/06/25 12:41 AM
22

Get good at life things so that when you feel down you have at least accomplishments to fall back on. Don't make them your whole life, don't miss out on life because of career, but you do need to start excelling at things so that you don't feel like this: A core thought I do have is that i’m such a loser for not doing other things with my life, when he’s out here living his and these girls (his ex and what i believe to be his current) are doing better than I am. Because whether you find love or …
/r/RedPillWomen24/06/25 03:41 AM
3

One of my favourite content creators is a SAHD, but that was after he sold off a software company. Does the same thing as well, writes books, records shows, and funds it through donations.
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/25 04:45 AM
23

How long have you two been in a relationship together? I get the laundry thing is frustrating but the frustration would all blow away if you just did it your way and he provided value in other ways. If he did it for a while he'd probably learn or develop his own way of doing it as well. The real problem is that he thinks someone else will pay his way, and he thinks it's fair that it should be daddy government/his future wife/someone else. This is in stark contrast to the mindset described in the…
/r/RedPillWomen21/06/25 11:54 AM
1

Oh okay so you guys really are new. If it's only been three days why are you making dinner for him or going to his place out of public sight? Seems unsafe.
/r/RedPillWomen20/06/25 11:07 PM
3

If he took any sort of initiative I'd give him a pass but responding "it's up to you" 3x in a row is giving "he doesn't care about impressing you". If he liked you he wouldn't give off this idc vibe. I hope you haven't had sex :/ have you considered that "chill" is code for booty call? Did he try to make a move on you in private?
/r/RedPillWomen20/06/25 01:51 PM
3

content that speaks about marriage only benefitting men I don't get this, conceptually. Do you have links for this content? Most of my experience on this subreddit has been that women want marriage more than men do. Men only ever want it for traditional reasons, because it's what they "should" do or because their soon to be wife wants it, not because of some perceived benefit.
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/25 03:17 AM
2

Men's Rights Activism/Activist. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Men's_rights_movement
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/25 03:09 AM
16

You're probably getting bogged down in the weeds. I did the same as you but it didn't help me. In fact it probably made me too sympathetic to men when I should have just cut them off because I wasn't attracted to them or didn't respect them. It may be sad for the bottom half of men but women are hypergamous. Unless you have severe deal breakers yourself, you will most likely end up with a man who has, in large part, succeeded. I've also found that maintaining a kinda aloof distance and simply no…
/r/RedPillWomen17/06/25 01:21 AM
4

He could never have gone to Greece when he was 35k in debt.
/r/RedPillWomen16/06/25 12:04 AM
18

It's quite a big deal for you to refuse his last name, he will always feel like you refused him. That said he is denying part of your identity by saying you shouldn't even like your current last name. You are both denying each other's identity and it is causing pain for you both.
/r/RedPillWomen11/06/25 11:14 PM
6

Tbh the Marcus Aurelius quotes would impress me too. As for the rest - omg! flinched when my dad asked him what he did for a living (spoiler: he didn’t) RIP his manhood. See the Providing chapter in For Women Only to understand just how bad this guy looked to your father. No Scrubs! On a side note, u/Whisper wrote that women are going to be most passionate with their first partner. While I technically agree, I think that "first passion" is almost entirely girls overlooking or mistaking poor char…
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/25 02:32 AM
3

So he's already keeping his distance and only hanging out as part of a group. This is not an amazing connection. Those generally require a two way thing and this is very one sided. When a man likes you back and is willing to commit to you it's an entirely different feeling. I wouldn't worry about it.
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/25 11:47 PM
3

You're not getting it. You are lying to yourself about the nature of your feelings about him and the nature of your relationship with him. If you acknowledge what I'm about to write you would no longer have any of the above questions. 1) you like him and want a relationship with him 2) he likes the attention you give him but does not want a relationship with you, otherwise he'd ask you out And here's more: 3) Men from non western cultures are simply not "friends" with a woman. He knows how you f…
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/25 07:45 AM
5

You didn't answer the question. If he asked you out would you say yes?
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/25 06:00 AM
7

If he asked you out, would you say yes or would you say no? If you'd say yes then the whole "I'm not looking for a relationship rn" thing is a lie. At some point you have to admit he's not going to ask you out and you're wasting your time with him.
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/25 02:46 AM
5

I could go line by line but have you actually ever been in a relationship? Asking why you are "supposed" to love a man is such a weird question to me. Have you ever been in love? What happened?
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/25 11:29 AM
15

I think it's about 50% jealousy and 50% looking out for them. We get some women posting here with descriptions of actual abuse and being unwilling or unable to see it. Some even say that other women are just jealous because of the age gap. No... We're not... It only takes hearsay from one such example in a woman's own life for her to conclude ALL age gap relationships are abusive, if she has no positive examples to draw on. It's not correct but it is a common human fallacy to overvalue anecdotal…
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/25 03:48 AM
-3

Deciding you don't like someone only after they've rejected you is a cope imo.
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/25 01:57 AM
7

It's emasculating if the man doesn't have a degree. Men want to take care of women so what some men might take from it is "you'll never take as good care of me as I can take of myself". Of course not all value men provide is financial but if that's a big part of their value proposition to a woman they might feel like they should find someone who wants them more.
/r/RedPillWomen07/06/25 02:37 AM
3

There is nothing stopping you from asking men why they reacted a certain way, eg, "is there something wrong with what I said?" Or "I noticed you had a reaction to what I said - is it good or bad?"
/r/RedPillWomen07/06/25 02:35 AM
2

I come from an intercultural marriage. Something has to give. Women in the West who have grown up in the West understand where the lines are and what can be asked of Western men. She doesn't because she didn't grow up there. If she doesn't want to be alone, at some point, on some issue, she will have to compromise. Dating interculturally is not easy. If your standards/expectations are not conformant with the dominant culture and you are not willing to compromise, you most likely will be alone.
/r/RedPillWomen04/06/25 11:19 PM
12

I guess I prefer white collar because that's who I work with and am most exposed to, but if I worked in a blue collar industry I'd probably pick someone from there. My fiance used to work as a mechanic before getting a degree and a PhD. If a woman had snapped him up before his degree she'd have gotten herself a great catch. If being a mechanic was lucrative enough he'd have stayed, but he got frustrated with making little money. There's no reason a man who makes decent money in a blue collar ind…
/r/RedPillWomen04/06/25 01:01 AM
8

Hmmmm. Personally, I don't think the risk is much different than any other time you go out. I have done this plenty of times and never felt unsafe from my colleagues - at worst a drunk man from my company stroked my hair and was immediately apologetic when I balked. But that was a much larger group than 10 and I'd never met him before. When you know everyone's names, faces, it's harder for them to plan a crime or even a faux pas. The other men can act as witnesses and generally some of the older…
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/25 04:58 PM
3

You mentioned being bullied & isolated and it wasn't clear. If you already have friends, you should try talking to men and dating.
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/25 06:26 AM
14

You're obsessed with a guy you don't even know and you're projecting everything you want in a man onto him, not knowing whether he lives up to those fantasies. This is not unusual for your age group as that is the demographic boy bands are marketed to, but you're not alpha widowed, you've just convinced yourself you are. Just live life and talk to people around you. Start small: practice making friends.
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/25 05:53 AM
3

The chapter titles alone sound appealing and I'm regretting not having read this book. Thanks for this write up.
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/25 02:05 AM
17

Mooch around sounds unappealing, but basically he's saying you guys can walk around and pick a place to go together. I do this whenever I'm new to a place because unless you've been there before you don't know what places look good yet. Throwing up in a bush depends on his background and age. If he's in his early 20s it's kinda normal. I think if you show displeasure about it and he avoids it in future that's ok. He might grow out of it.
/r/RedPillWomen31/05/25 04:46 AM
2

I recommend r/fragrance for your search. They have daily pinned request megathreads and the general consensus is that men love fruity sweet fragrances. https://www.reddit.com/r/fragrance/comments/ixnyde/what_perfumes_drive_men_crazy/
/r/RedPillWomen30/05/25 01:39 AM
3

Or he could just be a man... And stand up for himself if it was just "moralizing". And not, y'know, cry because he didn't want someone to say something.
/r/RedPillWomen29/05/25 12:08 PM
5

Men can do whatever they want to do while they're not in a relationship. Your comment is extremely out of touch with the OP's viewpoint, and frankly any feminine viewpoint. It is not unusual for women to be concerned about their man's sexual proclivities and it is not unusual for men to eg, be concerned about women's friendships with men, for example. You can shout at the heavens that men can watch porn and women can have male friends, but this doesn't mean the majority of people are okay with i…
/r/RedPillWomen29/05/25 06:09 AM
4

Tbh I also do not believe the propaganda that some men can tolerate or look past small breasts What?? I was part of a male friend group in high school, and we all tried to out-edge one another, and believe me, they objectified everybody lol. Including those with small breasts. Maybe it isn't as cool to say you like small breasts but they genuinely either like them or don't mind them. DO NOT underestimate the horniness of men. Men in their 40s, 50s are more used to larger breasts because women th…
/r/RedPillWomen29/05/25 03:01 AM
1

My most charitable interpretation is some form of pros outweighing cons for him and he blurted it out in a "I still thought you were hot" sense. When I asked a then-boyfriend about why he gave me a second chance when I brought up a deal-breaker (polyamory) at our first date, he said a similar thing, "you were too cute". I assume race comes into hotness/attraction, especially if OP is different from his past partners. So in my personal experience men will say some form of "you were hot" in respon…
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/25 02:31 PM
4

This was a quick google search: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0192513X231155673 Compared to people with no premarital partners other than eventual spouses, those with nine or more partners exhibit the highest divorce risk, followed by those with one to eight partners. There is no evidence of gender differences. I'm not the best stats person but if you give me a source that says women have a higher divorce risk with more partners, I will read it to see if that effect holds for men. Dea…
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/25 08:28 AM
9

This is not an RPW take. This is a naive beginner male RP take. The sidebar on Categories of Men and Their Risks: The third carries more pre-commitment risk, as these men are more difficult to inspire attachment in, and can increase the n-count, but also less post-commitment risk, and a greater reward. The fourth carries less pre-commitment risk, at the expense of greater post-commitment risk: unhappiness and hypergamous urges. You are prescribing the fourth category, the category that carries p…
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/25 02:20 AM
5

Whether he admits what he did was wrong too is his problem not yours. You can say "well if we have a boy I want to teach him to wait for marriage" but you need to decide whether that is your actual belief or whether you're doing it as a "gotcha" in response to him. Separate the following issues: your N count his N count how you want to raise your daughters how you want to raise your sons They are all separate issues and don't need to be conflated. You should determine your own moral viewpoint on…
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/25 01:41 AM
1

Why do you not bring up your own viewpoint?
/r/RedPillWomen21/05/25 12:52 PM
–

This guy is not a stereotypical conservative guy. Stereotypical conservatives don't date 13 yos when they're "quite a bit older" and they don't hate women. My fiance whenever he hears about an OF model etc, says "poor thing". He definitely doesn't hate them. Your bf has no credibility among conservative men. Most would punch him in the face for dating a 13 yo as an older teenager or adult. You need to listen to safe protective dad types. They have appropriate and measured opinions on women. They…
/r/RedPillWomen21/05/25 02:28 AM
12

How much older is he? You're 20 and 20 minus 7 is 13. How old was this guy dating a 13 yo.
/r/RedPillWomen21/05/25 01:19 AM
–

When he says "you'll never be happy, nothing is good enough" I see him putting a lot of effort into making you happy and none of it paying off. Like when you get someone a birthday present and they don't like it, multiple years in a row. It doesn't matter if it's their personality disorder's fault, you still feel bad because you put effort in and tried and none of it made any difference and you wanted to cheer them up but couldn't. While you can't really change your disorder you can change how y…
/r/RedPillWomen19/05/25 01:54 AM
1

If you were unhappy with the state of things and didn't want the relationship to continue as it was even if only for a few years, then you correctly communicated that and he made the right move in response by breaking things off. However. If you are more unhappy now with the relationship ended than you were with the low effort part of it, and think you could have waited out the low effort part in hopes of a long term relationship with him, then you made the wrong choice by not saying "it's okay,…
/r/RedPillWomen19/05/25 12:00 AM
7

Info: What were the circumstances that led to the police being called?
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/25 02:32 AM
32

You don't... If you're willing to date interculturally, you have to be willing to accommodate the other culture, rather than expect it to accommodate you. Unless you are currently located in an Arabic country, then you can say something like, "in my culture the man always pays". But if you're on American soil you shouldn't say anything at all and just date around till you find what you want. If that doesn't give you good results and you are missing out on too many good men, then you should drop …
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/25 12:28 AM
3

You're on a subreddit of women for women. Not sure why you are lecturing us or what you expect us to do about it. I still think you are focusing on the wrong thing. The men you find attractive, after 5 min of talking to you, will find that you don't listen to anything anyone else says, and will rant on the single topic you want to rant about, and they inevitably find that a turnoff and that is why you are single.
/r/RedPillWomen11/05/25 08:01 AM
5

This is silly. You've already said you are happy to be single forever, plus you have the choice to settle or not settle. So it's not like these other men have any control of your life. You're making a fuss about nothing. Block them and move on.
/r/RedPillWomen11/05/25 06:48 AM
5

Uh... You want men to be nice to you when you reject them? Regardless of what reason you give some will always have a bad reaction. Last time I checked, women also shamed men that said they wouldn't date them for eg, having too much weight. Both sexes take it pretty badly and tend to react defensively with a lot of guilt tripping. Show your fat friend a video of a man saying he wouldn't date fat women and see how she feels (or don't because the answer is obvious). You have to control yourself, n…
/r/RedPillWomen11/05/25 06:09 AM
2

So is it a problem for you personally finding men like this or what, what's going on? What prompted this post?
/r/RedPillWomen11/05/25 04:59 AM
16

This is a ridiculous argument. Do men not drink? Are two intoxicated people that have sex together both raping each other? I doubt the men she had sex with were 100% sober. Get a grip.
/r/RedPillWomen11/05/25 02:27 AM
9

I find this quite unfair, especially because sexual and physical attraction must be mutual for obvious reasons. No... I don't think you understand differences in male and female sexual preferences. Men are visual, women less so. You date whoever you want, obviously, but most women pick men based on status/wealth/intelligence/strength/etc observed over a period of time rather than looks. Crudely speaking, the heterosexual script for relationships is: the woman trades her fertility (looks) for the…
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/25 11:28 AM
7

For Women Only and Fascinating Womanhood are both recommended in the sidebar and have been discussed chapter by chapter here in the past. I would focus on what you want from the relationship (for women this is generally "love") and what he wants (for men this is generally "respect") and learn that to get what you want you have to give what the other person wants. This is discussed in the For Women Only chapter on Respect. Once you feel fulfilled and loved it's much easier to let things go and le…
/r/RedPillWomen07/05/25 07:32 AM
5

That kind of relationship does exist (I am in one) but it's very rare and it takes a lot of effort (it's not bad effort, like I enjoy doing it, but if I didn't do it - it would start to fall apart) on my side to keep the magic going. Like, at least 70% (or more) of the time I make sure to be a GOLF. If I have off days he's generally quite forgiving but also very sensitive and asks "what's wrong" when I'm just being neutral or snappy or pessimistic or have RBF. I don't think many women could do t…
/r/RedPillWomen07/05/25 01:01 AM
9

You're going to ruin your relationship if you insist on doing it your way. You have to compromise and show that you appreciate his input, however much you might disagree with it, because you have to show the two of you are a team and you appreciate his efforts and leadership. But you're allowed to draw a line at spending any more than you initially budgeted and say that you don't have the money for that.
/r/RedPillWomen07/05/25 12:36 AM
1

Sounds like me when I PMS. A vitamin B complex tablet generally fixes it. If I'm bawling over something stupid my fiancé says "have you taken a B vitamin?" Daily magnesium helps to steady my baseline mood as well. Make sure to get sun. These things are so simple but if they're missing it wreaks havoc on your body and nerves. I got this info from The Period Repair Manual by Lara Briden.
/r/RedPillWomen06/05/25 10:17 PM
8

If you follow his plan and let him pay some of the city hotel cost, would you be paying less or more than your initial budget?
/r/RedPillWomen06/05/25 12:58 PM
1

Masculinity is innate, it's not a show of force. Masculinity is what makes men want to protect and provide for women. It's not being muscly or smoking cigarettes... That's a very shallow read of it. The skinny guy can still have a security system around his house, the shy nerd can still making moves in his career to provide for his family. Men will specialise and play to their strengths, if their strength is their brains they will use that instead of brawn. I agree a man who's pussy whipped is n…
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/25 03:19 AM
19

Men marry women because they want to start a family, because they want to be a father, because they feel deep and enduring affection for her character and value her beyond her looks. No man will marry a woman only because she's hot (unless he's very very stupid or very very desperate). I'm not sure where you got the idea that SMV = a woman's entire value. We often say good looks will get your foot in the door but they won't keep a man. Married men often experience "wife goggles" where they think…
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/25 07:50 AM
6

I'm going to disagree with your well meaning husband say that you shouldn't enjoy this XD It doesn't sound that fun, and I'm sure Reasons have a lot to do with it. I'm at my most relaxed after a "job well done" and "taking care of people" and if that satisfaction is not there I wouldn't be very content. I would probably start thinking of simply bearing the guilt as a plus on my scorecard to make myself feel better lol. But blowjobs sound like a great Act of Service to remedy the situation.
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/25 12:11 AM
5

It's not normal, and would cause most women to issue a "comfort test", eg, "I do accept that, but you're not other men. Will you still love me? Will you still think I'm beautiful?" Songs and memes have been written about this. It's why men can't give a straight answer to "does my ass look fat in this". Women need a man to tell them that he'll still love them long after their looks fade. He needs to be able to reassure you when you ask "would you still love me" questions. He also needs to underst…
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/25 04:48 AM
1

So he sent a text about your looks, or you sent a long text after thinking about it for a while?
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/25 04:01 AM
1

Do you push back when he says it? Eg "why say it then?"
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/25 03:13 AM
3

He already apologised for everything and still makes comments about age and looks? This isn't a let-go-of-past-resentment thing, it's a happening-right-now thing. He's literally telling you what your value to him is, looks. Not a great basis for a relationship. on't move in with him. Move to a friend's couch or with family or share house or loan some money for rent in a share house, pick up a job. Find a way out asap. This should be a bigger priority than therapy.
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/25 03:02 AM
4

Why are you gatekeeping the definition of what a submissive woman is? Who benefits from this? OP can find a relationship with or without describing herself as submissive. There is no such thing as a submissive woman 100% of the time. There is also no reason to even try to be mostly submissive in the early dating stages, similarly to how there is no reason for a man to be loving in the early dating stages. That's LTR game and it is very difficult to be 100% submissive even then.
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/25 01:24 AM
10

A high value woman cannot submit to any man. You're fundamentally misunderstanding RP theory. Men want unconditional respect and women want unconditional love. The inverse of an unconditionally respectful (ie: submissive) woman is an unconditionally loving man. This does not mean however, that unconditionally loving men are attractive to the opposite sex nor that there is a correlation with unconditional love and "high value" and vice versa for unconditionally respectful women. It also doesn't f…
/r/RedPillWomen28/04/25 05:39 AM
3

If all you did was express disappointment, how did that lead to a break up? It seems like a non sequitur. Then my original comment wouldn't be valid.
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/25 11:31 PM
2

Imo you pushed too hard in the past and that's why he broke up with you. Re-examine your words and statements from that time to see if you were issuing ultimatums or saying things that he interpreted as ultimatums. He was overwhelmed, in deep crisis, and if you were demanding more from him, of course he had to drop you. And, if so, the ultimatum didn't work because he broke up with you and you still want him back. The rest of this answer will be assuming that you did issue an ultimatum or make a…
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/25 01:52 AM
8

Be careful. Initiating contact with a man removes your best chance of gauging his interest. If you don't care about that and just want to go "all in" on this guy, you can keep trying and go for a sex-first-commitment-maybe strategy. This guy is risky. Since you broke up with him before he might already have his foot out the door and only be interested in sex/FWB. You already showed that he's not #1 in your heart so even though that may have changed this time around, he may have lingering doubts …
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/25 03:45 AM
11

Hey welcome back, good to see a familiar username. I have a few questions. Who initiated the messenger convo? Are you two local or will it be an LDR? Why did you two break up in the first place?
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/25 02:47 AM
3

Because only Americans assume that everyone lives in America. I don't like to state where I live because I don't want to be doxxed.
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/25 11:11 AM
3

Imo this was clear from: It is also common around me for people to sleep together, live together and have kids while they aren't married After all, I'm still in an English speaking Commonwealth country.
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/25 09:16 AM
2

Maybe I am missing more context, as I said, I never understood why marriage was a big deal before. In my country marriage is not a big deal, a lot of people will have kids and live their whole lives together without it. Imo having kids is a lot more binding than a marriage certificate, legally and financially. None of my girlfriends ever talked about marriage except the religious ones. I am an "all in" person though and I expect a lot from my partners. I would never be happy with someone if I di…
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/25 03:47 AM
0

That's fair. But in reality it made no difference.
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/25 05:42 AM
1

I disagree with that. My long term live in partner was my family unit. There was nothing I didn't do for him that I would have done for a family member or a husband. I was his full time carer.
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/25 01:29 AM
7

I appreciate your contributions but everyone is free to choose their own way, and you don't speak for all men. My fiancé has gone through a nasty divorce and is engaged to me. At his insistence, not mine. I think I've made my point about how I felt about marriage in this post. It is akin to a woman saying she will never have sex with any man before marriage because she can't trust them not to abandon her afterwards.
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/25 04:44 AM
3

I think new marriage rates have also been impacted by the cost of starting a family and owning a house, which has been rising in proportion to income (since I was born anyway). Fear of divorce laws would only matter to men that outearned their spouses significantly, which is not the majority of people.
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/25 02:59 AM
4

I didn't get that impression from the post, but thinking again, you might be right, since she mentioned a prenup, and those aren't required for religious marriages.
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/25 02:53 AM
2

Hey, I understand where you're coming from. I've heard all the MRA talking points, in fact I used to say them myself. I've read Helen Hunt and Bettina Arndt. I've also seen the financial fallout of divorce in my own fiancé's life and I agree it's not pretty. What I wasn't prepared for was that even if child custody is 50/50, the higher income earner has to pay child support to the lower income earner. To me, that's insane. If child custody is 50/50 there shouldn't be any payments anywhere. But s…
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/25 02:49 AM
7

Wow. Thanks for writing this out. That's really heartwarming. I never imagined it would be that big a deal. I didn't think men would have any additional responsibilities apart from those imposed by external parties or mutually agreed new decisions. I knew that having children or grandchildren could change people because my grandpa gave up alcohol when I was born. But I didn't know marriage would. I guess any big milestone has the ability to spark personal change.
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/25 02:25 AM
5

I'm sure she had her own very well thought out reasons, and I respect her decision not to derail that thread with libertarian debates (like this one seems to have drawn the MRAs out of the woodwork). But yes, the crux is that the government only empowers the woman. Nothing happens if the woman doesn't initiate it. And nothing happens if they never get divorced. In my opinion there is nothing wrong with just living together and having a relationship that way... Even if they're not married. It's a…
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/25 01:36 AM
1

Lol true.
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/25 01:06 AM
-1

I was one of them. The idea is to avoid it as much as humanly possible, not avoid it entirely. But I'm in full agreement with you that in this case the blame is being misattributed.
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/25 12:59 AM
4

I think you're missing the point. This is about vetting, not long term happiness. And yes, a simple marriage ceremony does not lead to long term happiness. We focus a lot on that here too, but that's not what this post is about.
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/25 12:47 AM
3

What was the disagreement that led to you paying for half of the expenses? Why couldn't you accept his leadership?
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/25 09:52 PM
2

Does your bf put you on a pedestal or does he treat you the way you should be treated? If he doesn't know your past with the other guy he's probably treating you slightly better than you deserve actually and maybe that's what triggering these feelings. After all, I'm sure his awkwardness around women extends to how he treats you. I would try de-pedestalising yourself and telling more of the truth around your past so that he understands who you really are. There will be a negative reaction as he …
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/25 09:43 PM
6

I think what they're saying is maybe the other guy had hidden icks like alcoholism or addiction or some other failing that she never got to see because she wasn't close enough to him. Not that men get icky when they show pathos.
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/25 09:14 PM
1

Were they better or worse than your guy?
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/25 12:38 AM
4

If he's your first relationship, how do you know what a "spark" is? Have you ever felt a spark before?
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/25 12:23 AM
5

I'm not sure what your other options are. If your faith is important to you then surely any options that don't involve a spiritual and hence legal marriage are off the table?
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/25 12:09 AM
8

I first read about this in Athol Kay's Married Man Sex Life blog - Fitness Testing vs Loyalty Testing. A fitness test is just a "shit test" but politely stated for his blog. Good Alpha (strong dominant = wet panties) Weak Alpha (doormat) Good Beta (looks after you) Weak Beta (doesn’t do anything helpful or nice) You just see a lot of (Good Alpha + Weak Beta) guys and (Weak Alpha + Good Beta) guys that’s where the confusion comes from. In terms of beta most women want the same things - marriage/l…
/r/RedPillWomen16/04/25 05:37 AM
–

I don't understand why you feel like a fool. Is it because you're upset with yourself for letting it get to you or because you're worried your love for him isn't reciprocated? Can you clarify?
/r/RedPillWomen16/04/25 04:19 AM
32

"If you're running into assholes all day, you're the asshole." It doesn't have to be that extreme but you could be putting people off without realising it or coming off as unlikeable somehow. Make new friends, be more discerning about who you're friends with, and if there are any friends left that you still trust, ask them for genuine feedback about whether you are a good friend or whether they've noticed anything off about you that could be hurting your dating life. Also if you have shared frie…
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/25 10:42 AM
46

If you don't have friends, or don't know how to make friends, it's most likely your social skills, not your looks, that are holding you back.
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/25 10:02 AM
2

It probably depends on the institution but it's likely he can't date you until you graduate and are no longer a student at the University or until he finds another job, regardless of whether he is in direct contact with you or not. So if you're planning further study or still enrolled for whatever reason in 2026 you couldn't approach him. If he's still there when you're just about to graduate ask him about his personal life and his wife so that he can correct you about whether he's married or no…
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/25 05:47 AM
4

I think the question is desirable to whom. In my opinion, men will still find women their own age and younger attractive. The Wall gets reduced to "after this age you have zero sex appeal" which in my experience is not true. Women are still attractive but to a smaller audience every year, which for me (and most women) works fine because I tend not to be interested in younger men. The Wall is where women lose their "universal" appeal and start missing out on the younger cohorts of men, and start …
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/25 01:10 PM
3

There's no easy way to tell. The fairest assumption to everyone is to assume that the percentage of women and men who don't want to partner at that age are equal, which still puts the women that want to partner at a disadvantage, for the reasons I stated earlier.
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/25 11:05 AM
7

I'm in an age gap relationship with a man 20 years my senior. I didn't think I would be when I was 19 but I am now nonetheless. I've never found any man attractive enough to sleep with after just browsing a few pictures/a short bio and never will. I need months of getting to know someone and when I fall I do it quite hard. It's not surprising to me that women dismiss men whom they don't really know yet as I dismiss men I don't really know yet, no matter how attractive they are. This is not news …
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/25 10:35 AM
22

The definition of the Wall in the Glossary is: The age at which a woman's SMV drops below her same-aged male counterparts' SMV, leading to a reversal of power in the SMP. It's a uniquely feminine phenomenon. Men start low and get higher and women start high and end lower. The technical answer for men would be "when they are born". I think the reversal of power never un-reverses. Just because you don't find a 70 yo man attractive doesn't mean that that 70 yo man has less power in the SMP than a 7…
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/25 07:27 AM
2

I don't think you should sleep with him the first time you meet him. There's a lot of stuff that is missed out on when you don't do in person interaction. Focus on talking to him and getting to know him, even if you've talked online it's not the same thing. Go out on a date in a public place or around other people asap so you aren't in a "pretend" relationship. I think he should know your relatives are thinking these things so he can have a chance to "problem solve" and fix the situation. If he …
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/25 04:18 AM
7

Yup, agreed! Didn't mean to make it sound like men are 100% in from the start or not at all.
/r/RedPillWomen09/04/25 11:30 PM
15

I just want to reinforce the "no guarantee" bit for anyone reading this that the protectiveness/mate guarding is a "must have" in a good relationship but not a reliable indicator of feelings. Men will automatically feel possessive towards women they sleep with but it doesn't mean they want a relationship with them. I've seen this multiple times in my own life, an ex who dumped me inquiring about my new boyfriend, another ex whom I dumped acting possessive even though he later said he never reall…
/r/RedPillWomen09/04/25 11:24 PM
1

That guy had no game! It icks! But yeah it's been too long. In fact the guy you dated has probably moved past his own issues with insecurity by now. It's time you got on too. It sounds like you've learnt the lessons you needed to learn from that but every relationship is different. As you're more mature now a lot of things will be very different. Read the wiki, it's a great guide.
/r/RedPillWomen09/04/25 09:39 PM
4

I had a relationship that started as a situationship but it wasn't great. So, not judging just sharing what I know. Do you want a relationship eventually? What made your last relationship "awful"?
/r/RedPillWomen09/04/25 09:18 PM
24

I think your best bet is to tell him you like him as more than a FWB in person, be completely vulnerable, and let the chips fall where they may. You won't be able to dial back the sexual aspect, he'll just think you don't find him attractive anymore and drop you like a hot potato. You won't be able to keep sleeping with him and hoping he'll fall for you over time because men don't work that way. And for your own good, don't do any casual sex anymore... It rarely goes well for the woman. And slee…
/r/RedPillWomen09/04/25 08:29 PM
2

I find it odd that your stated goal is not being single into old age but then you focus on looks to the exclusion of other factors in your mate. Surely those that have thriving marriages into old age made their selections based on factors other than looks?
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/25 02:18 AM
2

Conventionally attractive women pair with conventionally attractive guys and use this on conventionally attractive guys. Have you tried this on a guy that has perhaps never gotten attention from women? A "diamond in the rough" so to speak?
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/25 12:29 AM
3

I don't use dating apps but I've never gone from a cold approach to a relationship. I dated men that I had already spoken to from school or work. Reframe your expectations of "approach" and try The Art of the Bad Excuse.
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/25 12:25 AM
4

If you speak like you write, that is fine. I want to make sure you've tried everything before you go for surgery because surgery is an expensive way to find out you have RBF, or bad style, or can't talk to men. What is the talking to men situation? Whereabouts do you interact with men? Investing into style is going to give you the next best results, and increasing your exposure to men. If you're not naturally high SMV you will have to "make an impression" some other way. Eg being charming, fun, …
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/25 12:08 AM
5

How do you speak? How do you dress? What kind of man are you trying to get? Are you struggling overall or are struggling to get attention from the right men?
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/25 09:18 PM
3

I understand why you accepted his past, and thank you for being honest here. If it helps, men do really experience sex differently based on whether it's an emotional connection or not. Just a couple of nights ago my partner told me, "Do you know why I enjoy sex with you so much? Because I love you. It means so much." I said, "Why would you have sex with someone you don't love?" It was rhetorical but he hedged a bit and said "Erm, men can. And teenage boys definitely can." Which tells me he had N…
/r/RedPillWomen02/04/25 04:34 AM
5

Keep living under a rock
/r/RedPillWomen02/04/25 04:16 AM
5

Maybe some do feel lust most are just doing a job. Re-read what I wrote because you mistook what I said. I said the CLIENT has to shut off the side that sees a person. The coping methods of sex workers is off topic and will likely run me afoul of the moralizing rules. But I will say this. Women are sexual gatekeepers according to evolutionary psychology and giving sex to an unworthy man isn't going to be easy for them. Men know this and must at least guess at how that might feel. The client then…
/r/RedPillWomen02/04/25 04:10 AM
7

I'm judging the sex worker part because I don't think it's a good reflection on the men participating in it. Any man going to a sex worker is either completely oblivious about the exploitative nature of it (and isn't very bright) or is callous and uncaring or worse, enjoying the exploitation. In order to enjoy sex work you have to shut off the side of you that sees a person and instead see an object of lust. The OP says: he says he’s ashamed of it and wouldn’t go to these places ever again even …
/r/RedPillWomen02/04/25 02:11 AM
7

I don't understand how womanizing at pubs is worse than visiting sex workers.
/r/RedPillWomen02/04/25 01:57 AM
9

Just interested in why you thought the history of getting sex services wasn't a red flag to begin with. Unless you yourself are a sex worker or have been I don't see how you could really be so blasé about sex work initially when he said it was 3 (!) times overseas (!). If you're not a sex worker or never have been, it doesn't sound like this guy matches your RMV at all (Is he really rich or something?). You'd have to really want him for it to work and it doesn't sound like you do anymore. I agre…
/r/RedPillWomen02/04/25 01:55 AM
3

There is no easy answer. Check that your fiance doesn't mind shouldering the bills and how long he expects this to continue, as that will help inform your decision. Also look for another job in the meanwhile. Have a read of this to understand how men feel about providing.
/r/RedPillWomen01/04/25 01:21 AM
2

Well him giving it but not being able to take it (banter) is a red flag imo. If he's dishing it out he should take it. That's the rule with any sort of banter/teasing... Bullet dodged. His reactions definitely contributed to your feeling this way, especially when he knew it was your sensitive spot. I think you can start dating again pretty quickly as long as you realise that those were his issues and not yours. Btw, a man who becomes cruel when he drinks is a huge red flag! That's a lot of red f…
/r/RedPillWomen31/03/25 01:45 AM
2

he would jokingly call me a spy or a terr*rist, joke about the way I ate sushi or where I placed my glass, called me nerdy for pursuing graduate school, etc This is classic textbook negging, designed to be harmless banter, to show that he is playful and invite playful banter back. You are taking things way too personally. Not everyone that negs is a player but based on the other details you gave about him, I think he is. Still, you should be able to take negging the correct way, regardless of hi…
/r/RedPillWomen31/03/25 01:18 AM
14

men have an innate desire to reproduce From an evolutionary psychology standpoint, given that birth control is fairly recent, it suffices for the survival of the species that men only have an innate desire to have sex with fertile women. Many men I have spoken to never actually wanted children until they had one themselves and then some form of "love at first sight" happens to bond them to their child. Would be interested to find out if The Evolution of Desire makes any case for "having children…
/r/RedPillWomen30/03/25 07:17 AM
17

No, I read a lot of romance novels as a teen/young woman. But dating real men is different. They react in unexpected ways and you have to align your expectations based on what they do. I don't think it should affect you unless you get stuck on what they "should" do. Just accept them as they are, be curious about almost every aspect of him, and proceed based on how he is rather than how you want him to be.
/r/RedPillWomen29/03/25 10:35 PM
6

In her response to me she said: He’s responded in voice texts up until he said I was being needy So he has responded and basically said the first half of what you said he should say. "We'll talk when you get back" wouldn't leave OP in any better of a mental position. It also contradicts her original post that she's had radio silence from him. It's just not the whole story that we're getting here.
/r/RedPillWomen28/03/25 05:22 AM
3

"Abuse" is going too far with the info we've got. It's hard to tell what's going on here. He could be like "oh she texted me during the day so I can just skip the prearranged call, surely the texts are enough contact for her". Anyone who's phone-phobic would probably see scheduled calls as a chore and try to wriggle out of them if possible (I would). OP could also be high maintenance and freaking him out with 5 minute-apart texts that go "hello?" "Why are you ignoring me" "ARE YOU BREAKING UP WI…
/r/RedPillWomen28/03/25 04:39 AM
13

Yeah definitely remind him you were supposed to talk Friday. Edit: and outside of that, try not to text or call, and enter the Friday talk bubbly and happy. None of the emotions you've shown in this post should be present on that call until he indicates that anything is wrong.
/r/RedPillWomen27/03/25 11:51 PM
1

Okay, in that context your father was probably just running with your own thoughts and assumptions and not dictating his value to you. That's totally fine. How replaceable this NZ guy is to you is not something we can advise you on. It reminds me of the oft-misunderstood Robert Frost poem. When we come to a huge irreversible decision we will never know what would have happened the other way. Your mother may regret not being around her family, but imagine if she chose the other path; she may have…
/r/RedPillWomen27/03/25 11:38 PM
8

Stupid question, but have you called him during your prearranged call time?
/r/RedPillWomen27/03/25 11:11 PM
9

The theory you are espousing is that women can make or break their men. I've seen this in Fascinating Womanhood, and heard it about Jackie Kennedy, and a few others. This idea the wives actively "made" their men, took a rough gem and cut it and polished it into a brilliant shine. Having seen the aftermath of how my partner fared with his first wife, I'm on the fence. She was pretty unsupportive. But he still accomplished a lot while married to her. If he had had a more supportive wife, of course…
/r/RedPillWomen27/03/25 01:59 AM
3

I'm not sure why they would stop being your parents if you move away. That's a really weird thing for your dad to say - at best, he just wants you to date locally and can't see what's so great about this guy, at worst, he's being overly codependent with you. If I take it at face value, the quote you wrote from your father is not advice or insight, it's emotional blackmail. If I am extremely charitable, I would say, talk to him more to see what his actual rational concerns are (Is he worried you'…
/r/RedPillWomen27/03/25 01:02 AM
2

Wear casual skirts/shirts and tops instead of sweats. Just look like you've put some thought into it. Even casual denim shorts, a tshirt, and sandals would be better than sweats. Women do get judgey when you stand out but it sounds like you need a bit of practice at doing your own thing and learning to be independent, so maybe learning to push past the judgement won't be a bad thing. I get really inspired looking at unaffordable boho style stores (even though they don't quite suit me!) so find a…
/r/RedPillWomen26/03/25 04:53 AM
3

Yeah the dude sounds like a lost cause. You gave him an in by talking to him and he didn't reciprocate, so just forget about him. Ball is in his court, you did what you could. Your best bet with boys is to become hot! How are you in terms of dressing well, styling your hair, wearing heels, presenting well, weight, etc? I don't think you should feel ashamed of your chosen career path if it gives you a degree that is employable in a field you want to work in. Not everyone can do everything. You al…
/r/RedPillWomen26/03/25 03:26 AM
9

If you moved for college you'd probably have to take up a job to pay for it, which takes even more time than chores. So be happy that you're still at home. In terms of loneliness, your siblings moving away is normal. It had to happen, either now or when she starts work. Eventually you will have to do it too. Just put it to the back of your mind and put one foot in front of the other until she leaves and you get used to it. In terms of making friends, don't worry so much about aligning values, ju…
/r/RedPillWomen26/03/25 02:18 AM
7

I met mine at work. If you're in a white collar industry there's plenty of men you can meet and mingle with at work functions that don't work in your team or right next to you. Always put your best foot forward, take every opportunity to spend time with new people or widen your social circle, and work on whatever you said was "low quality" about you, and men will take notice and show interest. I think the decrease in social interactions after college is entirely up to you - when I was actively p…
/r/RedPillWomen26/03/25 12:01 AM
6

That's not much to go on unfortunately. I've never been in your position at this age but this is my field report from the last time I had to start over. I hope it helps you find a good man.
/r/RedPillWomen25/03/25 08:06 AM
4

What triggered his mental health crisis, and why does he think it's not temporary, if you don't mind me asking?
/r/RedPillWomen25/03/25 05:26 AM
4

When that something clicks, we don't know what it is. It's unpredictable. It might be that they will click with a girl with a particular personality, but they don't even know that until they meet her, and there is no way for that girl to prepare for that because the "click" trigger will likely be different for every man. We know this because even for ourselves, we meet a guy who's "good on paper" and everything about him is perfect but he's missing that something that would make us feel sure. Ha…
/r/RedPillWomen25/03/25 01:09 AM
10

I personally don’t really agree with me moving there to “earn” a ring or expect a proposal, also I don’t think I’d move to him unless I was proposed to Then your relationship is already over. I agree with u/faerie87, 6 months of uninterrupted in person exposure would be enough but you don't have that. According to the schedule you've laid out here he will never have enough exposure to you to propose and you will never move to him. It's over.
/r/RedPillWomen22/03/25 12:12 PM
2

Mine got a lot bigger as I got older, I started with pretty small A cups as a teenager and they stayed pretty constant during my early 20s. I'm over 30 now and they're about one cup size bigger. Progesterone is the hormone that makes them grow but it isn't in any of the hormonal birth controls. You have to ovulate naturally to produce it (ie: not be on hormonal birth control, not be sick or underweight) and gaining a few pounds does increase breast size as well (but of course enlarges other body…
/r/RedPillWomen22/03/25 07:14 AM
1

No? I think facial attractiveness limits dating pool much more than boob size. Most supermodels have quite small breasts (because they don't have much body fat) and regularly end up with their pick of men.
/r/RedPillWomen22/03/25 06:42 AM
3

If you’re an older man there are obvious expectations Yeah there's also certain lifestyles like sugaring that not everyone is into. If I was an older man I would probably get cheaper dates to make sure my lady love didn't feel like a sugar baby. I'm engaged to an older man. They just want the same things as everyone else, true love, sexual compatibility, a lifelong friend and partner, and yes "fun". In fact the wealthier men are wary of gold diggers and use cheap dates to filter them out. You're…
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/25 10:34 PM
14

Yes, the Married Red Pill sub recommends NMMNG. Given that he's a coach not a newbie in the anger phase it's probably a good thing. This is what MRP has to say about it: No More Mr. Nice Guy (NMMNG): This is a self-help book that deals with the so-called “Nice Guy Syndrome,” a mode of thought in which men engage in continual self-sacrifice and covert contracts in their relationships (romantic and otherwise). Nice Guys are resentful when these efforts go unappreciated – another fact they often co…
/r/RedPillWomen19/03/25 09:38 AM
1

If you think you can still get the finance educated type of guy and know how to do it, then I'm not sure why this post exists. It surely would have already worked by now? Still sounds like you're aiming way too high - if the guy you think you can have isn't even looking at you or returning your calls, he's out of your league. I'm sorry but who you dated in the past has no bearing on who you can date now :( If you take care of your looks and get fit you can definitely get a good man! Just think m…
/r/RedPillWomen19/03/25 06:33 AM
5

Even submissive women have a point where they will refuse leadership. He's just found yours. Maybe he wasn't expecting to find it so soon or in this context or at all but a disagreement is a natural step in any relationship, however submissive. I think men in relationships with submissive women come to expect agreement so it's quite a shock when one says no. Imo this is just your first disagreement, and the honeymoon period has ended. His actions were weird but excusable under stress like the wo…
/r/RedPillWomen19/03/25 12:30 AM
3

I am in a relationship with a 50 something, I am a 30 something :) So yes. It's not just the body, the face ages quite a bit as well. If this was something that mattered to the OP she would care about facial appearance too, but she doesn't.
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/25 09:03 PM
8

What you want is a masculine protector kinda guy, who is settled, successful and a pillar of the community, who is taken seriously by others and someone to follow & look up to. A "king" or "warrior" archetype. These guys tend to be involved in their community and are always mentoring, coaching and helping others and Doing Stuff. I really don't think it's weird or fetishistic, it seems quite normal. I wasn't always attracted to men like this but being with one feels "right" and "natural". No regr…
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/25 04:12 AM
1

I know :'( He's still sad about them.
/r/RedPillWomen16/03/25 11:48 PM
6

Have a read of my post about the male protective instinct. It's probably the other way around, men are protective of things and people they love. They will naturally do this even if you earn a living - "Did you get home safe? Do you need money for that? Don't walk alone at night. Stay close to me. You're not very strong". Etc. A lot of these things can be seen as "controlling", "overbearing" or even "insulting" in today's society so simply accepting them/encouraging them and being grateful for t…
/r/RedPillWomen16/03/25 09:01 PM
1

Read my comment reply to OP's same question in this thread and you will find out :)
/r/RedPillWomen16/03/25 08:55 PM
-4

I know you're being sarcastic, but it's based on a hard set of rules. Note also all the reference photos are young women who lean more attractive than women in general. Of course most 20 year olds look pretty good, that's a no brainer. What that scale shows to me that realistically 9-9.5 is unachievable, and also, 5.5 is quite good. Which is something the folks at truerateme often argue. So I'm happy with myself and where I fall. OP literally asked about average which is a numerical statistical …
/r/RedPillWomen13/03/25 02:24 AM
-7

r/truerateme have a photo scale. As with anything looks wise, don't hyperfocus on it or over consume content about it.
/r/RedPillWomen12/03/25 10:27 PM
8

I'm not sure how you're supposed to find a man if you don't look good. So you know what to focus on first. In terms of RMV, can you tell me why those relationships ended? If there are personality traits that are putting men off, it would be good to identify those things. What do you bring to the table? Terms and Acronyms The fact that you mingled with celebrities before makes me think you're aiming way too high. What kind of man would you be willing to date? Btw, any interested men would include…
/r/RedPillWomen11/03/25 09:34 AM
5

Are you regularly putting effort into keeping fit and looking good? What's your relative SMV now vs when you were younger? What's your relationship history like - did you ever have a boyfriend or an LTR? Do you have any men interested in you now (ie men that go out of their way to talk to you or invite you to things)?
/r/RedPillWomen10/03/25 09:52 PM
–

Is it possible he has a lower libido than you or felt forced to participate?
/r/RedPillWomen10/03/25 03:35 AM
–

Okay, and is that something you initiated that day or he initiated?
/r/RedPillWomen10/03/25 03:34 AM
–

Can you remember what the topic was? It may have some clues.
/r/RedPillWomen10/03/25 03:31 AM
–

Oh no, I meant prior to that. What prompted him to say that?
/r/RedPillWomen10/03/25 03:30 AM
–

What were you saying to him when he told you "shut up plus derogatory term"?
/r/RedPillWomen10/03/25 03:27 AM
2

I think what "feeling feminine" actually is, is being loved/liked rather than respected. At work we get a lot of respect especially if we're good at our job but it may not lead to us being liked or adored. I also really enjoy getting compliments on things about me that aren't work related, eg style, nails, hair and so on. A compliment on my "girly" interests will immediately make me feel feminine even though I haven't done much different, y'know? It's just a sign that people like me and want to …
/r/RedPillWomen07/03/25 01:34 AM
2

I think you are already exhibiting femininity but maybe feel discouraged/not accepted for it. Can you be more specific about how you think you are being masculine and what would you do differently if you could be feminine?
/r/RedPillWomen06/03/25 11:50 PM
8

You should be spending a lot more time in front of the mirror. It's about: makeup hair clothes Do a round of the internet on those things to improve your style. Start with determining your skin undertone and associated colour season your hair type your kibbe body type or similar system Then search for recommendations for products or colours or silhouettes for those categories and pick some styles you like and do them, see what looks good. There are tutorials and getting started guides for hair a…
/r/RedPillWomen06/03/25 12:18 AM
1

Thank you so much!!
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/25 09:42 AM
2

that type of romantic loneliness/longing… I don't have any advice but I think that is soooooo romantic!!!!
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/25 07:06 AM
2

Yes it's a tough thing to ask about because maybe he thinks "I am very stressed out being on tour but I want to keep it together in front of sundari12". If you tell him he's acting stressed out he may feel like a failure. You could always try something like "you work so hard, is there anything I can do for you"? But if he says you are already doing everything he needs then try to resolve the feelings of loneliness by taking up a hobby you can do while travelling or calling friends/family.
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/25 06:25 AM
2

I haven't read the Rational Male but if you mean "red pill book written by women for women" -- probably For Women Only. I've only read the modern Fascinating Womanhood and by all accounts it's not as good as the vintage one.
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/25 06:00 AM
12

I had a read of your other responses and want to highlight the emotional side of really good sex in a relationship - For Women Only Ch 6: He cannot feel completely loved without it. I wish that my wife understood that making a priority of meeting my intimacy needs is the loudest and clearest way she can say “you are more important to me than anything else in the world”. Sex is men's love language. By giving him the gift of good sex, you are saying "I love you" in the way he most wants to hear it…
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/25 05:54 AM
1

Pandora's Box
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/25 04:54 AM
50

Weight is not something a man can just talk about to his wife and I think if you get out of your pessimistic mindset and run a few thought experiments you'll realise that. Read "For Women Only" as well as there is a chapter in it about this topic. Was there any way most husbands can say that weight makes a difference to them without most wives sinking into an even deeper depressive spiral? He probably figured you were dealing with many issues and didn't need him tearing you down further. Moreove…
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/25 04:41 AM
2

I can't relate to this, but are you sure he expects more support? Have you asked him how you can support him better? Has he expressed any indication he needs more support? It sounds like he understands that his schedule is draining and tiring and doesn't expect any more than you are already doing. If you want a way to make him the same on tour as off tour then it probably doesn't exist. You sound exhausted yourself but are reframing it as "how can I support him better". Maybe ask "how can I supp…
/r/RedPillWomen04/03/25 11:59 PM
1

7 figures seems like overkill, low 6 figures would be doable depending where you live and what physical comforts you're willing to sacrifice. Do you really need all that money? Sounds like a lot of hassle.
/r/RedPillWomen04/03/25 04:13 AM
7

It's the early stages of the relationship so it's a great time to "test" this potential incompatibility. Don't shut your mouth if you can't live with it forever.
/r/RedPillWomen04/03/25 01:02 AM
7

Have you tried complaining about it, telling the dog off, or asking him for tips on how to get the dog off you? If you're afraid he'll get cross with you about it then surely you should start doing what you're afraid will make him cross to see if he actually gets cross?
/r/RedPillWomen04/03/25 12:57 AM
9

Different workplaces & teams have different vibes. If his workplace is chill and the bosses are nice people then the following applies. I personally struggle with work dinners so I looove sitting next to a chatterbox or someone extroverted and upbeat. When it's too quiet the boss makes an effort to get everyone engaged in the conversation and if no one takes them up on that it can be very awkward. Read the room. If it's a serious meeting they normally don't bring spouses - so a bit of levity is …
/r/RedPillWomen03/03/25 05:52 AM
3

Some questions to mull over. Has he improved in the area that you wanted to leave him over? Are you still leaving him? How will you know if he improves? If you are willing to stay for your son despite the porn and dead bedroom, what's the point of threatening leaving or telling him your boundaries? I'm not going to go into moral arguments since I don't really think they are relevant here. You already have a son together... It's okay to admit to yourself you're not fine with it and don't love him…
/r/RedPillWomen03/03/25 04:42 AM
3

Besides the diminishing sex ratios that StrangestUnicorn describes, as you age your pool of target men stays constant while men's diverges. Ie, older men are willing to date much younger women while older women are not willing to date much younger men. Your pool of men is basically your age plus/minus an equal amount. Men's pool is plus a certain amount, but minus a greater amount. So men you are interested in have options that you, statistically speaking, don't. This puts older women at a datin…
/r/RedPillWomen03/03/25 01:07 AM
1

Because women are capable of multitasking, focusing on the home and making money, eg by running a crafts Etsy business, or even by having a regular podcast or stream or consultancy service which makes them a public figure. Your definition of traditional is not contradictory with being famous or having a social media presence. Many women have small businesses at home or podcast from home for extra income with full support from husbands. I think you are throwing out the baby with the bathwater so …
/r/RedPillWomen03/03/25 12:31 AM
2

What is traditional to you? Rural/pastoral? Amish? Christian? Virgin? SAHM?
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/25 03:50 AM
5

It's not about their fashion sense it's about MIL welcoming you to the family. Even if this is the first time in their family that this has happened, it is still a welcoming gesture and we know that from pop culture. Eg Princess Kate's engagement ring was Diana's. Whether your MIL read that in the news or whether it's done this way in her family, it was clearly intended as a gesture of welcome and it is extremely rude to refuse it. Your sister in law not wearing heirlooms doesn't matter because …
/r/RedPillWomen21/02/25 04:20 AM
8

Her daughter is clearly already in the family - she didn't need a welcome gesture because she was born in it. My understanding is that heirlooms/pass me downs are common in old name/old history/old money families. It could also be she heard this was the done thing and took initiative even if her family isn't particularly prestigious. I think you need to tell us what your fiance thought of this and the substance of your "terrible argument" with him about it so we can get more context.
/r/RedPillWomen21/02/25 02:45 AM
18

It seems like she didn't want him to go out and shop for a spend on a ring for me Errrrrr. You're going to have to justify this assumption. What makes you think that? Did you just misinterpret her warm "welcome to the family" gesture?
/r/RedPillWomen21/02/25 02:20 AM
–

My brain works the exact same way! You're not alone.
/r/RedPillWomen20/02/25 04:03 AM
–

Whenever I've been told that my gift was something they already had, it triggered the same "you are bad at gifting" response in me, ie my gifts are common or unoriginal. I don't think scapegoating the ex saves face here.
/r/RedPillWomen19/02/25 11:05 PM
3

You don't get it...
/r/RedPillWomen19/02/25 07:24 AM
22

Okay, but let's pretend you are your boyfriend. He knows you love going out for dinner as well. Why should he do both? Do you get him everything he loves on every event or do you normally do just one thing?
/r/RedPillWomen19/02/25 12:26 AM
18

Genuine question. How was he supposed to know you really wanted flowers?
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/25 11:46 PM
10

Given things went so far I think you've missed your chance to play coy. If you act disinterested now or try to put distance he might think you're a) promiscuous or b) not romantically interested in him. B is an even worse impression to give than A honestly. You're probably best off acting interested and not playing it cool - no guarantee he hasn't already failed you in The Final Exam but assuming you passed, that's your best bet. Have a read of this post about Madonna/Whore Green/Red flags and t…
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/25 05:21 AM
0

As a woman who used to also be super into MRA stuff -- I now think men don't need a defence/support. That's kind of antithetical to what a man is. They're not children, they should be leaders. I think we're beginning to realise what the effect is of men not standing up for themselves is and it's not good. Without super rigid family pressure, it's easier than ever for modern men to lose their way and blame others. There's a difference between individual success and national success. As a country …
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/25 10:38 PM
4

No probs, I've obviously done a lot of reading about it, and my own ACE score is 2. It's a pretty deep topic once you get into it. Phrases like "daddy issues" and "damaged goods" (basically, it's mental illness or unresolved trauma again) always pinged my curiosity because while I knew what the words meant, I didn't know what the meaning behind them was. Now I understand it's a code men use to signify that someone is too unstable to have a relationship with, and normally spoken from experience, …
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/25 12:41 AM
5

So, I read that girls with absent fathers in their life will start getting their periods earlier by a year than girls with father's. Having an absent father is also correlated with teenage pregnancy, earlier sexual activity. High ACEs (can be caused by either parent or family members) in childhood also create long-term problems like chronic disease, addiction, mental health problems, and so on. Anecdotally, girls with daddy issues are spoken of as being people with unresolved mental trauma that …
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/25 11:19 PM
1

Agree with Pearl - make a new post and detail your dating history, SMV, age, and so on for targeted advice. In general/quick answers: I work too, in fact, before becoming SAHMs or even still I think most of the members here work. That's just what you do these days. I was more asking the OP that because she said she was independent and took the lead and to jog a little "et tu?" in her head. Being a boss girl at work is absolutely still compatible with having gender roles, but some women do find i…
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/25 10:44 PM
11

It feels wrong to congratulate you because I know how much of your hopes and dreams are tied up in this relationship. But I want to congratulate you for standing your ground. Whatever resulted from that is at least honest. What you saw was that he was capable of being affectionate and kind in a way he never was with you. And that alone (regardless of any tech issues/him lying/not showing you messages) is a fair reason to end things.
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/25 06:48 AM
22

This is the same guy you posted a month back about, yeah? The one that said all women over 30 - including you- were settling and desperate. And he makes you shake when he pays for your coffee. Yeah, it's over. There are so many red flags here that he doesn't care about you. Please don't get back with someone that doesn't care about you.
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/25 04:24 AM
3

https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1fldnhh/back_to_basics_september_how_class_affects_male/ This might be a good read. My personal opinion is, men whose households are struggling financially do prefer wives that work. However, men who feel they have "made it" can afford a SAHM and unless they feel taken advantage of, prefer their wife to work at home or even not work at all. There is no cognitive dissonance between a man who wants an intelligent, hardworking woman and a SAHM - a "tro…
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/25 03:57 AM
2

Possibly you're just horny and associating that with whomever you're looking at at the time. Possibly also - you've got FOMO and aren't ready to settle down (you are 21, that's a pretty common feeling at that age). Or you're just wired different and you will feel this way your whole life. I don't know what the right answer is.
/r/RedPillWomen14/02/25 12:02 AM
1

I don't know. To understand more about the male sexual drive you can read For Women Only - Men are Visual. Regardless of him being 6/6/6 and whatnot, you may perceive him as beta. Maybe because he is romantic and soft towards you. You can read about Dominance Levels to try to understand what your relationship is. Maybe you want a different relationship dynamic.
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/25 09:52 PM
5

When I was younger I would crush on LOTS of men at the same time. But it wasn't really based in reality, ie, I'd have to invent little romcom "meet cute" scenarios in my head for it and everything. They had to have an imaginary personality which I'd create for them without having really spoken to them or completely opposite to how they were in real life. And I'd live in that limerence feeling for a long time. Sometimes I'd crush on other men in past relationships. Some of it was because I felt l…
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/25 05:19 AM
1

Have you told him how these posts make you feel?
/r/RedPillWomen11/02/25 01:23 AM
1

Does he ever post photos of her when he's apart from her or only when he's with her? Reason I say is, let's assume as a given that she is playing a game which consists of "break up Vegetable-Ambition72's relationship". Let's also say she has no actual romantic interest in your bf or is maybe slightly miffed that he has fuckzoned her (male equivalent of the friendzone) (and maybe the only man in his group who has fuckzoned her) and wants to break his heart to get back at him or whatever. But she …
/r/RedPillWomen10/02/25 11:33 PM
2

The YouTuber Loepsie has a deep voice but I personally really like it. From my limited time in Germany I noticed a lot of German women speak in a lower register (than their natural range) because of the language forcing their voices deeper (I blame the umlauted 'ü' and 'ö'!!) It's not unusual or uncommon for women to speak low and still be feminine. In vocabulary and tempo, I notice my own speech pattern changes when I read older books. A Jane Austen will change the way I speak for a couple of d…
/r/RedPillWomen10/02/25 12:17 AM
2

The problem isn't SMV, but that it is polarising. A small number of men will REALLY like it and a large number of men will be turned off by it or find it unapproachable. It's similar to having lots of tattoos or goth/emo styles. But a major difference is that while there were lots of men engaging in goth/emo subcultures, I don't think there are that many (straight) men doing gyaru.
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/25 09:45 PM
–

Feeling personally called out by this so to specifically to address your point re: considered rape, especially in a marriage I'll just drop this 10 year old TRP article here.
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/25 12:22 AM
2

No, it's not a red/yellow flag. Any more than me telling my fiance to "dress up" because he has no fashion sense is. He has a blind spot about what looks fashionable (ie, how other women perceive him) and I have a blind spot about what is revealing (ie, how other men perceive me). He accommodates me when I tell him to dress up and I accommodate him when he tells me to put more clothes on. Even besides that. Sometimes people in relationships have preferences and being able to express them should …
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/25 12:14 AM
1

You guys talked for 1 hour and you didn't try to get a concise reason from him?
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/25 10:26 PM
4

https://web.archive.org/web/20141225092218/http://marriedmansexlife.com/2013/09/the-red-yellow-green-sexual-communication-tool/ The link to it. Edit: My apologies, his Red was actually a "don't touch". I misremembered.
/r/RedPillWomen04/02/25 03:39 AM
22

Here's where I think you both went wrong. YOU should reserve the right and ability to say no when you don't want it and think that you won't get in the mood. I know, I know, we're women, we change our minds like three times in one minute. But Athol Kay (author of Married Man Sex Life, early red pill blogger, and famously has had sex with his wife every day for something ridiculous like a year) had a green flag, yellow flag, red sign system. There are days when you want it and can do most of the …
/r/RedPillWomen04/02/25 01:38 AM
2

If you get resentful at all about having to deal with the negativity... You can always ask him. "I'm feeling this way... what should I do?" Then don't argue back and forth but simply behave in the way he told you. That can take the mental pressure/guilt off even if his method seems less "kind" than you're used to being. In that way you are giving him the responsibility of dealing with his family. At RPW we call it "bring him your problem not your solution". It does have the drawback of actually …
/r/RedPillWomen04/02/25 12:20 AM
1

If he's 100% on your side then this isn't a boyfriend issue. Even if you were married to him this would be too much. You have to stand up for yourself and set appropriate boundaries. There's no reason to be helping someone that doesn't help you back or even care about the effect on you. Good on you for winding it back. Make sure if they give you any snark about it that you don't respond snarkily and just explain matter of factly that doing so much per week on top of your full time job, you were …
/r/RedPillWomen03/02/25 09:32 PM
8

Can't you book the cheapest flight option and if he asks why aren't you flying with him/why is it at such a weird time, tell him you need to be careful with money and can't afford more expensive flights. If you can't afford it or it would leave you living paycheck to paycheck for a while or even in debt (!!!), tell him you can't afford it and can't go. Can he do something you can afford instead? I think asking for it would definitely come across the wrong way. He always has the ability to offer …
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/25 11:15 PM
1

Have you tried saying no to his mother?
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/25 09:52 PM
2

I have not read his book, but it sounds good.
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/25 12:08 PM
6

Good points! Responding to bids is 100% within our control. My partner and I WFH together sometimes and once every hour he'll play a game with me where I have to break concentration and run with him. I can't respond to all of those and tend to just say "no". I'll try being lighter and funner.
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/25 08:22 AM
10

Yeah I'm going to ask for that "unneeded" context paragraph. Generally if you can't stop doing something that you know is bad and cringe as you do it but do it anyway, you're going to have to go deeper and get all freaky psychology childhood on it. If that's the case then a bit of reflection, journalling, various CBT techniques, or even guided therapy would help. If its more the case that you now know it was bad and didn't before and have no trouble not doing it now, then just keep not doing it.…
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/25 05:00 AM
2

The wiki is the main source! I also really like The Rules Revisited which is an old blog.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/25 09:38 PM
3

Oh, for reading, there's also Categories of Men and Their Risks from the wiki.
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/25 11:52 PM
3

Sorry I didn't mention, I'm in a relationship. My relationships came from men I'd already spoken to at school or university or work. I can tell when someone likes me and I keep it platonic until I know more about them. I don't tell anyone about the boundary, I just keep my guard up at the beginning.
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/25 09:50 PM
15

I go by when I can feel a strong bond and it wouldn't be easy for them to forget me and vice versa because of the intensity of the emotions we feel for each other. So it wouldn't necessarily be exclusivity but the feeling that even if he was seeing other women he would prefer me. I don't really go for super popular outgoing types so I rely on some natural shyness/general misanthropy on the man's part. I can't bear the thought that my affection wouldn't be returned so I am very deliberate and car…
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/25 05:41 AM
8

Necessary background
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/25 11:08 PM
16

I'm interested in who's hitting on you because it could be solvable with solid boundaries and cosmetic touches. LinkedIn? Seriously? Uglify your photo. If they're randos you'll never to talk to or see again - block and keep silent. Who's hitting on you at work? I've had luck with "sorry my boyfriend wouldn't like that" or similar. SW developers aren't the most outgoing self confident people, and the ones that are are generally happily married. So I'd expect your colleagues to stay to themselves,…
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/25 11:03 PM
3

Oh no! Your piercing intellect! How could I have ever been so wrong?
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/25 11:23 PM
1

Alright, let me take sex out of the equation. If a friend won't stand by you, THEN THEY aren't for you. It's not your fault and shouldn't think something is wrong with you Do you really think that "there's nothing wrong with you" is what OP needs to hear?
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/25 11:10 PM
4

And if a man can’t wait until marriage THEN HE ISNT for you. It’s not your fault and shouldn’t think something is wrong with you What you said is well meaning but I just want to take that sentiment and gender flip it. Do you still think it is good/helpful advice? If a woman doesn't have sex with you THEN SHE ISN'T for you. It's not your fault and shouldn't think something is wrong with you
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/25 11:06 PM
1

Generally, women date slightly older and men date slightly younger because men tend to want to settle down later in life than women do. Have a read of these articles on Rules Revisited: What Men Think About Older Women Some Older Women are Smart They're cynical but a good exposure to the way a lot of men think... Disclaimer: I had a chat to my partner about this and he said that not all men think older women are unsuitable for LTRs. But he's with me, 21 years younger than him... Heavier question…
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/25 09:24 AM
9

It's to the point where I shake if he buys me a coffee Said she was shaking a lot bc of the father's anger History seems to rhyme. I have a side gig as a commercial model You have relatively high SMV in your age group. He wants to move in together before marriage - I said no - I said I want a ring first before we do anything like that. If you don't give way on this, you're never getting married to him. You'll be living apart for the rest of your lives. Don't plan on him going back on this. He ke…
/r/RedPillWomen22/01/25 12:39 AM
3

Then you don't have to worry about anything.
/r/RedPillWomen19/01/25 09:55 AM
5

What kind of man are you looking for? The answer will be very different based on the caliber of man you want. Edit: you're 23. You have your entire 20s and possibly early 30s, depending on genetics, before you reach the wall. That is a lot of time.
/r/RedPillWomen19/01/25 06:17 AM
3

Here's an oldie but a goodie :) Love goggles.
/r/RedPillWomen19/01/25 06:02 AM
2

women can get a slow burn and slowly fall for guys A discussion/multiple anecdotes of this: Rules Revisited: Men Don't Fall in Love the Same Way Women Do
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/25 01:27 AM
2

I know you said you had high SMV before so right now it's really affecting you but this "the wall it's crushing me" feeling won't last forever. You will learn to get along and adjust. This is the first few steps or re-orientating and figuring out what to do - prioritising your personality and working on projecting that is an excellent plan! For the physical factors contributing to depression, just getting the basics right like sleep, sunlight (I go sunscreen less now - unless I'm in full sun for…
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/25 01:17 AM
2

There's always a chance he's had his eye on you for longer than you've known his name. It's fine to pass one guy up if you're really not feeling it though. You can always say "you came on too strong" if he asks for feedback, but otherwise a vague "Sorry, I'm not feeling it" is fine. How have you gone with your other dates since you noticed your looks changed? How long have you been single for? And - late 20s to mid 30s women may still elicit positive responses if they a) smile / laugh a lot and …
/r/RedPillWomen14/01/25 11:38 PM
1

First off, yes, guys give off that major ick when you can sense their desperate energy. But. If you think he's about your SMV/RMV and you suspect you can't do better, maybe you need to give him a chance. You've only known him over, what, one date? Women fall for men slowly. Kissing when you weren't into him was a bad move imo. I think you should have kept your cards closer to your chest and taken more time to evaluate him. So. Some guys change for the better after sex. Their lust goggles fall of…
/r/RedPillWomen14/01/25 01:05 AM
2

What does this man do for you that an average 30 year old doesn't? What made you fall in love with him? What do you respect about him? What value does he bring to your life such that you like to spend 60-70% of your time and personal sacrifice to be with him? Because I'm not getting this from the post, I'm getting that you're with him because of the material benefits he can give you. Maybe that's what prompted the gold digger comment. He felt you were only with him for material benefit (or perce…
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/25 04:51 AM
1

The older members of this subreddit do put active effort into finding a man and keeping themselves fit and well presented. Just FYI.
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/25 03:29 AM
3

He has no intention on a long term relationship with you. That is clear from what he has said. Don't misinterpret the invitation to grad school as a "future", it's likely just a booty call. If you wait for him, you would also be wasting your time from the ages of 22 to 24 or 26 years old for a chance at a guy that will most likely have moved on by then, who never had serious intentions even when he was with you. The math doesn't math. Those years are better spent looking for a new relationship. …
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/25 03:54 PM
5

With modern plastic surgery... It's amazing what they can do nowadays. It seems female (and male) Hollywood actors can continue to look 20 for the rest of their lives if they so choose. It also seems anyone with a spare $10k every five years or so could follow in their footsteps. Looking old is becoming a lifestyle choice, much like Pamela Anderson not wearing makeup is a lifestyle choice. Stefan Molyneux, who I believe is the greatest philosopher of our time, always asks something like, "if you…
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/25 12:47 AM
2

You've basically said you will break up with him if he leaves and he is preparing to leave. If he really is leaving, nothing you do from now in the relationship matters, just wait till the timer runs out and be ready to break up when he leaves. The more awkward situation is if he doesn't leave and you two are acting like you are already broken up in a non communicative cold shoulder state. Where does that leave you? What would you wish you would have done differently?
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/25 03:41 PM
1

I have no idea what you mean by cliches is what redpill is about. If you want to stick around I recommend investing time into reading about this community. Read all my responses to OP in this thread and get started with the links.
/r/RedPillWomen29/12/24 10:24 PM
10

Yes, there are redpill pages like that. However, you won't find many women here universally agreeing with those sentiments. Most women here are submissive, hypergamous, and high SMV or RMV, so we look for men that are better than us that we can naturally look up to. Men of high status can have one sided poly relationships but not many women agree to that, so most normal relationships default to closed monogamous ones. We recommend all newbies start at the pinned Getting Started post and the RPW …
/r/RedPillWomen29/12/24 02:16 PM
7

Redpill in the general sense can mean a variety of topics about politics, health, spirituality, and economics. RPW (and TRP) focus specifically on the gender/relationship topic. We don't cover any of the other topics. He might be following the "other" redpill topics.
/r/RedPillWomen29/12/24 01:53 PM
49

This is kinda like a troll post because it has so many cliches. If it's true though, I think you two just found out why teenage relationships rarely last. None of these are green flags. The redpill didn't make him go to prison or drop out of school, in fact TRP encourages men to build their life up, educate themselves, become financially productive, lift, and become the prize. If he's trying to be redpill he's not doing a good job. He is currently not any sort of prize. Prison time? Seriously? I…
/r/RedPillWomen29/12/24 01:40 PM
13

Then get out there. No point theorising about what your problems are likely to be if you can get some real world data and direction quickly. See how you go dating and work on what needs to be worked on, rather than worrying about something that ends up not mattering.
/r/RedPillWomen28/12/24 05:54 AM
36

Age isn't going to be your biggest limiting factor in dating, hotness, charm and femininity are. Extraversion and good conversational skills helps. How are you on those fronts?
/r/RedPillWomen28/12/24 03:10 AM
2

Got any local friends you can sleepover with tonight or crash on their couch for a night? I think you need to be around others.
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/24 08:03 AM
8

Plan for a breakup: Why don't you stay with family or a friend for a while. You can break up with him over text. I don't think there's any need to see him face to face ever again.
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/24 07:18 AM
2

Recently smo asked me if I was a guy in my past life Negging?
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/24 01:36 AM
5

It's entirely up to you what your limits are but please be aware simply being a young pretty woman and posting your face is already enough to get thirsty comments. Cleavage can be natural but tops are a choice. Well endowed girls have more restrictions when it comes to clothing options, that's just the way it is.
/r/RedPillWomen25/12/24 03:50 AM
11

Having a large following on tiktok is already kind of a red flag. What content do you post? Men don't want a girl that puts herself out there to receive pleasure from strangers gawking at her. You should 'save yourself' not only physically but also mentally... Stop programming your brain to get its dopamine from thirsty men online. That's really ick for men who want to find wives. Any attention from men online is thirsty attention, even if you're not wearing anything revealing, but especially if…
/r/RedPillWomen25/12/24 02:00 AM
11

This is relevant to a recent thread on infidelity and wealth posted by u/FastLifePineapple Depends on your definition of success, but success is rare in the population (otherwise it wouldn't be success, it would be "normal"). Same for attractiveness. Loyalty is probably more common than the other two though and I actually think is the default, but maybe rarer in successful men than in the general population. I kinda like that saying because it helps women conceptualise the Venn diagram of loyalt…
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/24 03:48 AM
2

Yes! Sounds similar.
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/24 10:55 PM
2

United Nations Youth Association. Depending on where you're from, you might have an UNYA nationally or even locally. It's like a high school thing, recommended to kids interested in politics or debating. You pretend to be delegates from a randomly assigned country in the UN and play act mock UN resolutions. You still get the 5 countries with veto powers and backroom deals so it's as close as you can get to the power dynamics of the real thing. I have a couple of fond memories of it --- it's not …
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/24 10:46 PM
5

I've brought this story up before but maybe it's a good time to dig it out... I overheard a colleague complaining about their school aged son's dating life. Apparently the girls are chasing the boys and the boys want romance not sex and are put off by the girls' brazenness. I've heard that nowadays girls give out BJs like apologies or as consolation prizes. I'm inclined to believe it... This is not a new thing, I'd heard of that behaviour before in my teens at an UNYA conference. It was referred…
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/24 10:21 PM
6

You're meeting his parents and you think you're still single! Haha girl this is such great news. Congrats. You may be unmarried but I don't think you're single anymore.
/r/RedPillWomen05/12/24 11:28 PM
1

I moved around a lot in my childhood, to four continents... When my language skills were lacking, as they inevitably did whenever we moved someplace new, smile and nod worked fine. For a couple of days it's perfect. I was quite surprised by Anglo culture always explicitly saying stuff. Eg things like "do you want a fork" or "pass me the salt", ie regular table talk, is always spoken aloud. In other cultures it's normally silent and simply given to you. In my family we just reach for something we…
/r/RedPillWomen04/12/24 10:20 PM
13

If he finds it annoying to use, maybe FIL doesn't want or expect you to communicate with him via Google translate at all and is happy to chat/vibe without full communication. I don't think there's any onus on you to attempt language communication in this situation at all. Can you just smile and wave for a couple of days? If you're out and you need to communicate, most things like "go here" or "watch out" can be managed non verbally by eg, tugging sleeves, gesturing or pointing. Anything else jus…
/r/RedPillWomen04/12/24 11:33 AM
1

1949! Sounds right up my alley. Thank you for the recommendation.
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/24 03:02 AM
2

> I have had many who made it clear they were willing despite my being married This doesn't mean anything... Were *they* married, not were *you* married is the question. Most people will have more regard for their own vows than someone else's.
/r/RedPillWomen01/12/24 12:23 AM
2

Formatting is a struggle 😅
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/24 09:15 PM
11

Unhappy relationships would be the biggest predictor of infidelity imo, not wealth. Wealthy people also tend to be time poor and perhaps travel more so aren't "water the grass" at home as much as they ought. I've seen men (and women!) take pay cuts and miss out on work opportunities in order to spend more time with their family. Imo it translates that wealthy men didn't take those pay cuts and missed out on time with their family. I think several factors contribute to infidelity; 1) morality (do…
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/24 05:57 AM
3

I think the Final Exam is important to know and read because a lot of men are unable to judge women's character if they are attracted to them. Getting upset about it doesn't change that probably 50% of men are like that. I don't agree that all men are like that, however. My personal strategy was to only date men I already knew. I hate this "getting to know someone over a date" idea, like that's not enough info. A 2 hour date, even 10 of them, are not long enough for me personally to make that ju…
/r/RedPillWomen29/11/24 12:58 AM
2

are interested and don't even realise that they're not interested beyond sex So for this type of guy, the kind of guy the Final Exam talks about, how is waiting 3 months or waiting to be a gf going to change anything?
/r/RedPillWomen28/11/24 08:21 PM
8

I also know waiting longer has its own type of risks from the side bar but those are the risks I would happily bear. Depends on what it is... Based on your post it seems to me you're trying to minimise the risk of abandonment specifically, by trying to obligate men into staying with you and making it difficult for them to leave without going back on their word. But have you considered that obligating someone to you will make you feel unloved?
/r/RedPillWomen28/11/24 02:28 AM
7

This is how you lose good men.
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/24 10:04 PM
2

At a top level I agree but this is such a trivial issue to pull out the societal collapse card over. It sounds like a nice to have for her bf rather than a major friction point. It's also not as simple as "refusing to do things your partner wants causes relationship problems". Sometimes doing what your partner wants causes relationship problems. From the sounds of it OP is using the gym/body image to gain Escape or Status which she can't get from her relationship. I have personally felt resentfu…
/r/RedPillWomen25/11/24 01:52 PM
3

Sounds like he's just very thoughtful. If it is an issue that does not directly affect him (eg your behaviour or politics at your work or with your family) it's likely he's being careful not to assume authority without responsibility. If you are submissive he understands that giving an opinion can be misconstrued as an order. At the end of the day if you F up at work it's on you not on him, so he doesn't think he should get a say on how you behave, unless you or he explicitly say "just give me y…
/r/RedPillWomen25/11/24 12:13 AM
2

I think you would find comfort from listening to Stefan Molyneux's Call in Shows. Browse the titles until you see one that seems similar to how you feel and give it a listen.
/r/RedPillWomen20/11/24 04:44 AM
2

I think with all self improvement strategies they're a fake it till you make it sort of deal. They do have to be kinda strict when you start and less strict as you gain the benefits, eg after you feel comfortable saying yes or being more agreeable.
/r/RedPillWomen20/11/24 04:33 AM
1

I would recommend this strategy for women who are too independent or too masculine. And incremental reciprocation (occasionally even -- le gasp, boundaries) for women who are too passive or too agreeable.
/r/RedPillWomen20/11/24 04:27 AM
2

Because femininity is responsive and agreeable rather than initiating or disagreeable. Agreeableness is the Big Five personality trait most correlated with women. It is a common feminine strategy to build rapport with others. I'm not saying say Yes to casual sex or things that don't align with your values. But saying Yes will make you more likeable, more agreeable, and more feminine. I can personally vouch that it helped me build a social network and get out more when I was in nun mode. All of t…
/r/RedPillWomen20/11/24 04:21 AM
3

Can't really relate, I just had a regular independent career woman phase. But can you try the standard feminizing advice we give here? always say yes (eg, if anyone asks, "would you like help with that?", "would you like to hang out?") ask for help sometimes, even if you could do it on your own. Eg it's reaching things from tall shelves for me. I could stand on a chair, or I could ask my partner. This is humbling and also pleasant to receive help (once you get over the "I feel guilty for not bei…
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/24 11:49 PM
1

I may be less sensitive than you are but when I've watched Better Bachelor I did disagree with his "men are better off alone" takes, HOWEVER, I never got the impression that he actually believed AWALT. He gives credit where credit is due. It's just that his channel caters to an audience where they focus on the worst in order to further their monk mode goals.
/r/RedPillWomen18/11/24 11:33 PM
8

So I'm guessing you didn't reach out to him which led to a break up and now he's doing the gentlemanly thing saying "it's not you it's me" to avoid the fury that is a woman scorned... What have you learnt from this?
/r/RedPillWomen17/11/24 10:15 PM
16

Oh yeah. The breast implants completely slipped my mind, but if they know you have breast implants it firmly puts you in the Whore/bombshell category not the Madonna category. They're a very sexual, sensual addition but then not using them makes them think "okay... If it's not for me, who's it for? She's not that into me if she's not having sex with me. But I know she's totally ready for sex because she got these tits." Another thing that might make them think "cocktease" or "game player" or "hi…
/r/RedPillWomen17/11/24 07:47 AM
17

Not a virgin and high N count (depends on the guy what is "high") are two different things, careful, don't conflate them. It's about what is an appropriate level of sexual exposure for your age and situation. Most people won't hold it against you if you only have sex inside a committed relationship and haven't had ONSs. Willingness to do sexual things but withholding of sex says "she doesn't want me for me, she just wants a sucker to give her a ring". Regardless of N count men want women who are…
/r/RedPillWomen17/11/24 04:10 AM
15

How did you navigate around the "no sex" boundary? Is it possible they felt like you weren't into them because you were witholding sex? If you have a high N count and these men know that you do (sometimes it's obvious even if you don't say it - eg if you gave them oral without much fuss), then they definitely would have felt like you were manipulating them and weren't passionate about them.
/r/RedPillWomen17/11/24 02:51 AM
6

He did what he could in step 4 and tried to reach out to reconcile. Everything after that is on her because she rejected his reconciliation. It's not on him to reach out again, it's on her to admit (or not, if you want to play it that way and just never mention it again) that she rejected his reconciliation. My rule for disagreements is go back to the last time someone offered to reconcile. That's the last point at which at least one person was behaving "reasonably". Everything after that is eit…
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/24 01:49 AM
6

Sometimes I need space and I'll "read" in another room... But after a while I do get it and realise that something has to be done. Reaching out is the only circuit breaker here. Otherwise they've broken up already.
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/24 01:31 AM
10

Nope. Here's how this fight went. They agreed not to talk about politics. He talks about politics. She looks upset. He recognised that she's upset and reaches out to reconcile. She rejects his attempt to reconcile. She ignores him and gives HIM the ST by reading in his room (she wasn't reading lol what a load of shit) He tries to interact with her by turning off the lights to force her to talk to him She leaves, expecting HIM to reach out after HER ST She sends a message starting the fight all o…
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/24 01:23 AM
2

The reason why I gave my advice is because OP sent a nagging message to him prior to the ST. Imo that was not a good move and does need to be "undone" by her.
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/24 01:11 AM
3

Can you reach out and say: "can we stop fighting? I don't want to fight". And don't bring up the politics issue or how he broke the agreement again. Hopefully he won't either.
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/24 12:53 AM
6

You're going through a quarter life crisis. It's fine, I had one too, at about 24, then my life had a bit of a pause and it came back with a vengeance at 26. Everyone's being a bit harsh to you I think because they didn't have one of these crises themselves, or they forgot what it was like, or had a completely different reaction to you. I don't think you're unhinged or delusional. You're fearful and worried and that's fine and appropriate for this stage in your life. It's always the not-even-clo…
/r/RedPillWomen13/11/24 05:43 AM
1

FWIW you're doing alright. I did give you hard time.
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/24 02:46 AM
1

I do have a need to know. But why do you as a wife have a need to know or why would a boss have a need to know? A boss has a need to know because they are ultimately responsible for the fallout. If matters go wrong or the employee isn't coping, they may be forced to take matters into their own hands or intervene. An employee might have a need to know so that they can react to the fallout or congratulate their boss. A submissive wife has a need to know so she can support her husband, eg by giving…
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/24 02:14 AM
1

Even if I had said "hey babe have you heard anything about the car?" I don't see how that would have been wrong or why the context of who initiated the conversation was relevant. Some men step back because their wife steps forward. It's how Greater Betas are. If you are encouraging a man to lead, you are better off stepping back completely otherwise he will think "oh throwawaytalks25 knows what's going on and she can handle it if I drop the ball. She always does." Asking may or may not be enough…
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/24 01:46 AM
1

he is the one who initiated the conversation tonight That context was certainly missing. This post read as you initiating the conversation, asking him what was going on, and telling him he wasn't handling it well. If he initiate the conversation it means he trusts you and wants your input. Well done.
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/24 01:24 AM
2

I am not sure how this is RPW. So your conclusion is "I was right and I do everything better but this is HUGE for us because he didn't take offense with me pointing out I was right and I do everything better?" Find something to celebrate that he IS good at and focus on that rather than reminding him what he's not good at. I'm reading your initial post and it seems like nothing is actually impacted because you have another car. I'm also assuming you guys don't have any financial difficulties beca…
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/24 12:54 AM
1

That's entirely up to you. I'd be more worried about 2.
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/24 10:09 PM
8

I don't understand your question. Are you asking if it's ok to Let your boyfriend sleep around with other women? Stay with a man that mistrusts you given no cause?
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/24 11:53 PM
4

You should get out there into the dating world and recalibrate and see what other men think of you. Maybe avoid guys that remind you of your ex. I'm pretty sure this was a "him" problem but it's possible that you emasculated him by wanting sex more than he did and he didn't know how to please you, or there were other issues like nagging/unreasonableness that put him off. Hard to tell.
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/24 11:01 PM
7

Right right right. It's impossible if they don't give you a time or place. In that case, no, I would not. I hate flaky people who can't plan anyway so it's better for everyone.
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/24 01:34 AM
11

Omg are you sure you didn't just stand up all those guys???? No.
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/24 01:25 AM
7

Awesome response (or lack thereof)! I have no idea how I'll act when that happens to me but I hope it will be the same way you did.
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/24 01:24 AM
1

He might have had many reasons for not picking you up. For example - maybe his gf has a habit of calling him whenever something goes wrong and he's sick of it and just wants her to sort her own problems out. Maybe he wasn't in the mood to deal with strangers like yourself. Maybe he's always selfish and flaky. Maybe GMaps told him it would take him an hour to get there because of some accident or other. We'll never know. But for the record it is normal to ask a bf or fiance to pick you up if your…
/r/RedPillWomen07/11/24 10:17 PM
4

Ok, sounds like you definitely need to put some work into your style. Traditionally people were much better dressed than they are today and most conservatives prefer the dressing styles of the past. Oversized tees and leggings says "I've given up and I don't care what others think of me." Which is a very liberal attitude. Try going to thrift stores to find clothes that fit and always try on before you buy. Don't buy it if it doesn't look good on you. Look into Alyart's Kibbe videos, there are ma…
/r/RedPillWomen07/11/24 09:29 PM
25

Without doxxing yourself can you please show us some example images of your personal style? And also can you give us a rough estimate of your SMV? Edit: if that's too hard describe your style in words and your current styling practices.
/r/RedPillWomen07/11/24 03:30 AM
7

My mom is a great mother. I've heard that corny line "there's no such thing as a good mom or bad mom. There are moms with good days and bad days" and I heartily beg to disagree... She is absolutely a good mother. Talk to me again if/when I have kids but I think that line is just for absolving moms of guilt, whether deserved or not. There is objective good and bad, as judged by the kid. I'm not sure how good she is as a wife though. I think she started off very submissive and forgiving and over t…
/r/RedPillWomen06/11/24 05:07 AM
–

I was the girl that had a crush on every boy in high school! I did once do the "confession" to the guy I had a huge crush on. He was just "... Okay. Thank you." It tempered the crush somewhat.
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/24 11:06 PM
2

No, just in that the attraction is not "wasted" on an inferior or imagined recipient. The way my mind works and maybe OP's and maybe it's a generic girl thing, is that it's always crushing on someone. If it's not a real person it's going to be a book character or something like that. So you're obsessing anyway, nothing changes there. Imo the closer to reality you can get with your crushes the better your eventual relationship will be. In my experiences the crushes will shift onto other people wh…
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/24 04:38 AM
3

If it does amplify I don't see that as a negative. But that's just my secret conspiracy.
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/24 04:03 AM
3

Haha, great story. Newfound respect for RPatz.
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/24 03:23 AM
10

Talk to him. Normally people's responses don't live up to your fantasy idea of what they'll say and the attraction will stop.
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/24 12:32 AM
2

Makes sense. Any man of reasonable intelligence would have impulse control and ability to delay gratification.
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/24 11:40 PM
8

My thoughts on interpreting are pretty much the same. But I like to talk about it, I don't know why. I don't really get jealous because I know that his mental attraction has a really high bar... The way he describes it is "she's pretty but I get turned off as soon as she says something". I know who he finds attractive because he'll make a sexual comment about them, eg he calls the Friends TV show "Jennifer's Nipples". But he doesn't ogle or anything. I often ask "woah did you see that cleavage" …
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/24 10:02 AM
19

Noticing attractive women, being aware of their intentions, being disrespectful to your wife by openly ogling others, and giving other women any serious thought are all four very different things. I think it's fine for women to assume their husband doesn't do the latter three but the first is unbelievable to me having read For Women Only - Men Are Visual (link drop for the newbies). For those women that genuinely think their husband doesn't "see" other women by the first definition, well maybe t…
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/24 09:27 AM
7

I don't understand how it escalates into such a major deal. Review The Beginner's Guide to Ending Arguments because there are so many points at which you can normally de-escalate. Eg imagine a really simple argument like the example below. No matter at which stage you find yourself there's normally ab exit strategy and a way to defuse. "You're stupid" [don't say it in the first place] "No you're stupid" [don't retaliate with an insult] "How dare you, you're rude as well as stupid" [don't add new…
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/24 05:03 AM
6

Why you are you going back and forth in a highschool fight with anyone? Is there no way you can block them or ignore them?
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/24 02:48 AM
6

Interesting discussion post! This really made me think. One thing I don't like in some of the logic you've described is how it discounts the power of nagging or makes it sound like marriage is solely the man's decision. I think most men get married because they're nagged into it, and most men are also in relationships with women of the same age. So pessimistically, I'd say the age of marriage for a man reflects when the nagging became unbearable, which lines up with the rough age women notice th…
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/24 02:10 AM
2

I was too scared to drive for the longest time, so it just seemed normal to me. Having dedicated time just to read books is something I miss now. I had favourite bus drivers (the guy with the feather in his cowboy hat was #1) and Bus Stop Buddies, most of whom I never spoke to. It's not the worst.
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/24 02:46 AM
2

A four hour commute for example is completely unsustainable. No one in the world can make that work. Errrrr I did. But my DINK bf at the time had no expectations about cooking or cleaning and we did a lot of eating out. I also read a lot on the bus and part of the bus route was me walking 20min so I was fairly fit and well read all things considered.
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/24 02:20 AM
6

I think you mean RMV not SMV. For SMV someone looking at you for the first time and deciding if you're sexy isn't going to care what happened in your past. If you have a high body count I don't think the race of your current partner is going to matter at all compared to your body count for RMV. This strategy will also only work if you are targeting white men who care about the race of your previous partner up front. Not sure why it even has to come up. Its fine to have a racial preference when d…
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/24 12:10 AM
4

Also: what controlling behaviours would those be?
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/24 10:12 PM
6

The snark in the comment you were replying to is directed generally but I should note that it was OP's husband's decision to open the marriage. It clearly backfired badly on him.
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/24 10:11 PM
3

It's not a matter of "unreasonable". I don't think either of you would be unreasonable for wanting to end the marriage or to continue keeping it open or to keep it open one sided. It's a matter of do you want this marriage to work or not. You either want to keep the marriage and do as he says or you don't want to keep the marriage and continue doing whatever you want. If it helps, you could try to bargain and say those other 4 sexual encounters must be with sex workers and he can't see the same …
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/24 10:05 PM
10

The cat's out of the bag and you've hurt him as well as he has hurt you. What is your opposition to doing as he says?
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/24 05:09 AM
3

You're going to have to compromise by befriending people who aren't a perfect friend match for you. Ways I've made friends/been socially involved: invited by a coworker for board games night (they were male but they invited a good mix of male/female) gone out for after work drinks with colleagues got invited on a hike by colleagues caught up with old friends by reaching out first, inviting to local events arranging travel to see old friends as well It really helps if you're pretty and smile a lo…
/r/RedPillWomen21/10/24 04:27 AM
4

She wasn't the one pushing for exclusivity, he was.
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/24 03:49 AM
3

What is this idea that you should not be exclusive with someone you already know? It's insane to me. Generally when the advice is given to not be exclusive it's because you don't know them yet.
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/24 03:45 AM
3

Is he generally conflict avoidant? Does he tackle difficult issues head on? I'm not asking from a "is he a good man" perspective but a "why would he be doing this" perspective. In general terms, telling a man you only want marriage and are willing to end the relationship/dating phase if they're not heading for marriage is a great way of weeding out men who know they're not serious and want to be ethical about it, but it's not a good way of weeding out men who don't really know what they want yet…
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/24 01:18 PM
6

First thing I can think of is with everyone telling you to be vulnerable and whatnot it's not immediately actionable. They're probably right but there's no way for you to check it out now. Here are some sentence parts that would demonstrate vulnerability. "I need you" "I really need your help with" "If you weren't here I would be <some sad idea😥>" Have a think about these ideas and whether you would ever say them. They are great relationship builders and ways to build interdependency and make th…
/r/RedPillWomen06/10/24 01:30 AM
12

Agree! I have major efficiency vibes and saying "yes" to everything for a week (not just from your partner but everyone) is a massive eye opener. I had an older man recommend this at work to me once and I was like "lol no I'm good" but it would have been helpful for me at the time. And I did do it many years later during nun mode. Obviously not if they ask you something unreasonable but most questions are just invitations. Like, "want to hang out?" Or "want to do something after work?" That's ho…
/r/RedPillWomen06/10/24 01:09 AM
3

Here's a video about Why It's Ok to Interrupt Your Girlfriend from Alexander Grace's YT channel. The message I got from it was people like women more/consider the relationship stronger when women allow their man to speak over them.
/r/RedPillWomen01/10/24 11:50 PM
9

It's impossible to predict! But some general advice. I find that most mothers will want a woman who doesn't argue with her son, doesn't interrupt him, doesn't try to compete with him or try to put him down. These impulses can be really strong especially because you want to make a good impression and you think your boyfriend won't mind if you do any or some of the above, and making a "harmless" joke at his expense to show your sense of humour doesn't seem that bad but don't do it! It will work ag…
/r/RedPillWomen01/10/24 09:03 AM
4

Did you ask those people why they said that?
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/24 02:22 AM
7

Yes be open to 25+, but the more successful/high status the guy is (which correlates with age) the more vetting you have to do, because, imo, he's more likely looking for a fling rather than an LTR.
/r/RedPillWomen28/09/24 10:58 PM
20

Are there any guys you are attracted to in your circle? What kind of girl game are you running on them? Ngl your criteria are top 10-20% of men, perhaps even rarer, because not many of your peers are making much money, so active strategies are going to be required, rather than just passive ones like the ones you mention. I don't think your standards are "too" high without knowing you, since it's all relative, but they are high. Do understand that guys older than 25 are likely not going to ask a …
/r/RedPillWomen28/09/24 06:57 AM
9

The dad should be slapping some sense into the mum, not the bf.
/r/RedPillWomen28/09/24 02:42 AM
12

What did you do after the conversation? Did you set some boundaries with your mother, asked her not to speak of him that way or put her on a low contact/low information diet, assured him he never has to see her again, or anything of the sort? If not - and you expect him to just accept it without any action on your part - he has good reason to run! In terms of what to do. You should probably do some of the above, and tell him what you did, and if he can't accept it still, you should break it off.…
/r/RedPillWomen28/09/24 02:41 AM
2

Disjointed thoughts/commentary. It's giving Mariah Carey Touch My Body. I asked my partner what he thought, and he said "it's the perfect woman, but she's putting things in a very transactional way, and she's had dickheads in her past." So he personally, would second guess this ad. But not in an entirely bad way. I think 30 is the new 25 in 2024? Or perhaps being 30 it doesn't seem that bad? But in eg old Friends reruns it does seem to give Rachel an existential crisis so perhaps that's what the…
/r/RedPillWomen27/09/24 10:49 PM
1

Yeah. Pretty sure my grandma's sister and her DIL were scrapping on the ground and tearing each other's hair and clothes on at least one occasion. It sounds so trailer trash but we're a middle class family. No drugs, stable employment and all that. But the environment is tougher, more crime in general, everyone has seen some violence or petty theft. And they continued to have some contact after that incident as well. That was unusual too, like I don't think that she is at loggerheads with her cu…
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/24 04:51 AM
3

Regarding cultural issues. I have an eastern European family on my mother's side - they are notorious for infighting. Arguments get very heated, and resolve and rekindle spontaneously. They will put up with a lot "for family" but that doesn't mean that they have kind words to say about each other. Cattiness, gossiping, outright feuds and fights are typical. If you were an eastern European bride, you'd probably be bitching about your MIL all the time, outright fighting/arguing/screaming at her at…
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/24 03:57 AM
4

It's not weak, it's self improvement. She is not saying "I will have casual sex", she's saying that men want a sexual (even if it's hinted at) aspect to the relationship too, and that prior to this she was suppressing all sexuality. Older men that marry women who aren't offering any sex appeal at all are not often catches.
/r/RedPillWomen24/09/24 03:18 AM
69

I know you're asking this as an advice post but this is such a great field report instead. Keep teasing him with sexy pictures!!!
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/24 10:54 PM
3

You have such a beautiful relationship with your husband! But yes it's all about individuals and their energy and what's unspoken.
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/24 10:52 PM
10

Flirting should feel good and natural. If you're attracted to someone, making the conversation sexual (even if you're only using the third person) or romantic is very natural and where it goes anyway. Praising someone can be flirting. Admiring someone can be flirting. Being curious about someone can be flirting. Singling someone out to talk to can be flirting even if it's not sexual or romantic at all.
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/24 05:13 AM
1

How do you dress?
/r/RedPillWomen20/09/24 07:31 AM
5

so I took him in to view it Interesting choice of words. Do you normally take initiative in activities? Have you tried stepping back and waiting for him to take initiative in activities?
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/24 04:02 AM
2

I can teach you how to access it on Reddit but it's generally not recommended for women, for reasons that will become obvious after a few minutes. I don't believe in withholding knowledge so here it is. For quarantined subs, direct links don't work but the subreddit is still available. Easiest way is through someone's profile. Click on VasiliyZaitsev's username in this thread. Go to his Submitted/Posts. Click on one on TRP. Click on the subreddit name from there. Voila, you're in. It will keep t…
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/24 10:00 PM
10

I think on the TRP subreddit they call it N+0 sex. They realise it's an easier sell for a booty call with a woman that won't add an N to her N count than with an entirely new woman. Women do cognitively understand N count and do go for it even if they know sex is all that's being offered because some illusion is better than no illusion. Knowledge is power and all that. It just sucks to know you're the sucker. Since I was in all of these situations and did the worst possible thing multiple times.
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/24 09:42 PM
4

I had an ex, and I remember thinking during a phone conversation, this is what "Call Me When You're Sober" was written about. The only times he called me were when he was bored, drunk, horny, or bored, drunk & horny. Nowadays they text so you can't even hear their voice.
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/24 09:03 PM
23

Booty call vibes... How do you know he's for real?
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/24 12:10 PM
8

Welcome! There is a post in the sidebar addressing this :) The Sidebar/wiki is in the About tab of this subreddit. TRP vs RPW TRP is r/TheRedPill, a male space and RPW is r/RedPillWomen, a female space, created by the founders of TRP.
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/24 07:00 AM
8

You need to get over your 'MY LIFE IS OVER IF I DONT HAVE A RELATIONSHIP YESTERDAY' mindset. This is not helping you, it's not realistic, and it's triggering a ridiculous amount of panic, bad decision making, and failure to follow through on your goals. You need to get over your desperation to find a relationship. When you feel like "hmm a relationship would be nice, but it doesn't have to be with this man (ie, some new dating prospect) and I am confident I have worth and can find happiness rega…
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/24 05:04 AM
7

Sticking to something for longer than 2 weeks? Building self discipline? Building self esteem through achieving your goals?
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/24 04:26 AM
5

INFO: Do you have children with him? Are you financially dependent on him?
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/24 01:58 AM
2

Yup, the theme of "how do you recover from a mistake" was one of the things I wanted to highlight. I was also thinking of the times in my life where the men were so focused on providing that they didn't want any fuss. I've heard a man say "I'm the least important person here" when he was the one picking up the tab.
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/24 10:25 PM
4

I am perceived as cute because I have a baby face and am pretty short. I think there is a danger of being objectified regardless of whether you're cute or sexy. "Yellow fever" imo is the objectification of cuteness and it doesn't seem any better than the sexy kind of attention. With cuteness men do want to protect me, but to an almost extreme degree. The attention is paternalistic so if you want attention that is more "equal" or if you have a more egalitarian or freedom based mindset, I'm guessi…
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/24 10:03 PM
1

Thank you! I never thought this would be described as wholesome - very glad to hear it!
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/24 08:51 AM
2

Yes, amused mastery is it. There is no more: these three scenes (plus one where she's falling asleep alone) are all we have of the wife.
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/24 05:59 AM
3

Thank you! I would never have written this if not for your discussion post on Submission in our relationships earlier. It got me thinking about what is supportive and what is submissive, and what are we comparing to. I felt the same about Scene 1. It's so easy to feel that way but the men seem to expect /tolerate /ignore it? I rewatched the scene and he had a little smile as she said "I want the guest room painted" and ignored her.
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/24 04:41 AM
3

This part I find hard to believe: do not mind how many partners that my partners have had or currently have I think your happiness at their happiness is genuine & kudos to you. But having been in a poly relationship myself in the past I think the situation kind of compels the participants to pretend like they're ok with it when they're not and there is a lot of pretending-to-be-ok going on, a lot of lying to yourself, even if no one is malicious or manipulative.
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/24 01:28 AM
4

Obviously you are taking about polyamory, from your username. I'm not trying to bag out poly people, but surely you have to acknowledge that what you want isn't always what is moral or fair. Eg, you're a man? I'll assume you're a man. What you want is a harem of nubile virgins. At some point your moral/rational brain kicks in and says "wait that's not fair. They should be allowed to seek other partners too." But that's not what you want, is it? That's just your post hoc rationalisation of what y…
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/24 01:08 AM
6

Jealousy? What are you talking about? That is simply the general case. Of course women want Alpha Bux and of course men want a virgin vixen. I'm not sure what you are trying to say, this is the ideal fantasy everyone has to compromise on when forming a relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/24 11:09 PM
12

Yes he knows, but I don't think he's that interested in the theory and thinks of this place as a little bit of a girly/gossipy outlet than the heavy nerd queendom it is. I don't think he likes the word 'submission', so he wouldn't use it, but he likes 'respect'. And he takes a definite pride in being gentlemanly, masculine, and protective. Those are all words he'd agree with. When it comes to long term plans he takes the lead and asks "how does that sound CounttheBees?" He often states things li…
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/24 10:56 PM
5

I guess the third woman "proved" her permissiveness. She clearly had to overcome her own nature in order to take part in the hobby, and be OK with it longterm. Whereas the second was there while it was easy but not when it was time for commitment/change.
/r/RedPillWomen12/09/24 02:05 AM
6

Personally I don't think he deserves to be on trial mode for this... He realised his mistake and if it is unlikely to happen again, you should forgive and move on. Be upfront about lingering doubts and talk them out and address them. Lay out your expectations so he isn't going in blind. Ask him to come up with solutions so that this lack of communication doesn't happen again, and put him in charge of seeing that through and communicating to you. Be vocal when you are worried or when you sense a …
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/24 10:44 PM
1

I mean, that's a fair reason for leaving a relationship. It's not a fair reason to cheat in the relationship or to want that relationship back when he's had his fun.
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/24 03:17 AM
34

I think that un-self-aware women don't want to date backwards. Un-self-aware women are also not always great at vetting men. While they might hold that millionaire athlete in great regard, they never got to have a real relationship with him that would have exposed incompatibilities or flaws. And I also think that the way men view women's attraction is largely projected and flawed. There was a guy that already had a whole blog about male-female relations before he realised that women don't fall i…
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/24 11:04 PM
2

Here's some more reading on dominance levels!
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/24 10:10 PM
3

All other men are not betas XD And frankly tastes (especially women) change. We change our minds all the time, especially as we develop as a person. I think as a late teens girl/early 20s woman it's easy to get suckered in by the 'bad boy' types. It's not so easy to see into the future and figure out if he's a good long term match. Ideally you want a good mix of alpha/beta green flags. He sounds like he's got a lot of alpha red flags which is concerning. As a woman whose first boyfriend was a Dy…
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/24 11:22 PM
3

I'm sorry to hear about your experiences 😔 I think I fared much better because I did go into a male dominated industry, but maybe because it was white collar the men are very professional and polite. If they view me as different then they hide it very well. It never comes up. This created a sense of safety which did allow me to relax into my femininity, I stopped needing to prove I was strong or independent once I gained some traction at work. If someone wants to treat me differently in some way…
/r/RedPillWomen07/09/24 10:59 AM
1

You're 26, not 36. You can make friends with eg 21 year olds and it wouldn't be weird.
/r/RedPillWomen07/09/24 08:10 AM
4

The only thing that's keeping you on that 1.5 year schedule is the therapy and maybe weight. In terms of dressing yourself, look into seasonal colour analysis, and also figure out your Kibbe type. That'll help you build up a wardrobe of flattering shapes and colours. Once you get started on any of these, adjust your expectations and goals you initially set out. Eg, if you try one recipe but don't get it right the first time, you may want to remake it till you are satisfied rather than try a new …
/r/RedPillWomen07/09/24 01:54 AM
3

It's ironic that you guys had a whole argument about speculation and who's allowed to speculate when I can only speculate why as well. I find it really hard to trace my feelings back to their source. The best I can do is give you the relevant backstory. Growing up I was pulled across 4 continents by my fleeing-the-second-world immigrant parents. I had to learn new languages and immerse myself in new cultures four times before the age of 12. In some of those places I gained acceptance and one of …
/r/RedPillWomen06/09/24 02:53 AM
1

She definitely doesn't need rescuing Shucks I'm flattered.
/r/RedPillWomen06/09/24 02:30 AM
6

I think by the time a man meets a woman, his instinct for protection and provision is guarded for the reasons you mention. It has to be reawakened. I am reminded of a time when I went out to evening markets with my (male) friend group in high school. It was quite safe, families everywhere. I decided to go look at some things in a stall away from the main group. By the time I got back (no more than 2 minutes and 20 metres away) they were actually worried I'd gone missing and were looking for me. …
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/24 09:51 PM
6

Thankyou for the repost and the kind words!
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/24 03:46 AM
37

Block him on any socials, and block his number. There's a chance he'll contact you again as a late night booty call but please be aware that that does not mean he wants a relationship with you. This is the end, he doesn't want anything more than a FWB/situationship, I'm sorry.
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/24 03:40 AM
5

I view this post as Whisper's peace offering to RPW for creating/maintaining TRP. RPWs often get angry about TRP, its locker room culture, its strategies, and its vanguards. This is Whisper saying, "in order for you to override what we've done at TRP you have to expend 1/10th of the daily energy we put into it." This is his instruction manual for un-redpilling a man, and bypassing his egalitarian programming.
/r/RedPillWomen04/09/24 11:25 PM
2

Good point! Did women reproduce with ~20% of men because they wanted to or because they were forced or obligated by necessity to?
/r/RedPillWomen04/09/24 06:56 AM
3

For Women Only has a chapter on this, Keeper of the Visual Rolodex. Those "attractions" have no emotional attachment to men and the most loyal man wouldn't act on his urges anyway. So while he might catch himself looking at someone, it's a far cry from him fantasising or even wanting to be with them long term. How far he takes it and how much he enjoys the "attractions" is fully up to him. The book has these reassurances for women. Reassurance #1: it's not always sexual. Sometimes men just admir…
/r/RedPillWomen04/09/24 06:46 AM
3

I don't know if you castrated him so much as outshone him. Does he or did he have his own life plans, goals, business or study endeavours before you came along? Has he made any progress towards them? If he didn't, does he have any plans now? Men have a natural need to provide for their family. If he isn't providing at all and you are paying all the bills then yeah he's going to feel like crap. If that's the case then, imo, he needs to feel bad and you shouldn't be shortcutting that process. He n…
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/24 01:38 AM
3

Absolutely it's a rejection. You made your move and it was very politely and considerately rebuffed. He's a kind man but he has no interest in you so you should move on.
/r/RedPillWomen02/09/24 07:54 AM
1

In a good relationship, his company should be enough to replace any missed opportunities. For example, when you get back from work, you should be able to hang out and decompress with him. Do you two spend enough quality time together?
/r/RedPillWomen02/09/24 02:33 AM
4

Does this have anything to do with you wanting to quit your job as per post history? Is this an attempt to "get back" at him for making you stick to the career?
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/24 02:44 AM
1

😂 I get where you're coming from. Some men care about that sort of thing and some don't. It does depend on whether OPs husband would mind another person touching her butt cheeks.
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/24 02:37 AM
2

Your hubby will be the only one to see it The tattoo artist would disagree.
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/24 01:00 AM
-5

It's worth further investigation. Don't let on how you feel until you get more information but I think it's too soon to cross him out as well. It's possible he told you because 1) he was horny and thought it would make you horny and lead to phone sex 2) he was ashamed of how he acted as well and needed to get it off his chest or 3) trying to impress you with his ability to score with drunk loose women (?) Anyway. I think you could have asked follow up questions like "did you ever see her again?"…
/r/RedPillWomen30/08/24 06:34 AM
5

Thanks for bringing it back to the original source! Slight tangent. Imo, perhaps controversially, the behaviours themselves don't ruin a relationship. It's the underlying incompatibilities/character flaws that cause the behaviours that also ruin the relationship. For example, I'll roll my eyes at certain people but I would never consider starting a relationship with them.
/r/RedPillWomen29/08/24 03:50 AM
12

Contempt, if you notice it in your boyfriend. An example would be eye rolling as Jordan Peterson describes. If he rolls his eyes while you're talking it's a STOP.
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/24 09:22 PM
5

This gives more context and I have to disagree. I think some women are prone to covert contracts and expecting men to be Disney Prince mindreaders, and when men fail to live up to that ideal, they immediately assume the man doesn't love them. Sounds like this could be you. In fact most men are exactly like your bf in relationships. They don't understand what you expect and they don't see the need for it. In my relationship our love languages are very well matched (quality time and physical touch…
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/24 05:56 AM
3

it's clear he doesn't like me 😭 I don't know what to say -- it shouldn't be this hard. Typical script for bringing up relationship problems is that the other person is keen to fix them. Did you bring it up in a non accusatory way and with some easy solutions like "every Wednesday is a date night"? For Women Only might be a good book to read. It goes into how the female and male definitions of romance are different - for women, it's chocolate, flowers, going out together. For men - it's hobbies, …
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/24 03:25 AM
2

I don't really understand what "unattractive" means in this context. Like did he listen then dismiss it by saying "that's unattractive" or how did it go down?
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/24 03:07 AM
1

I could give you a script for talking to him about it but I'm more interested in whether you've tried to talk to him about it. Also, why did you act cold towards him, and is that a regular thing?
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/24 02:39 AM
8

I haven't encountered this. Can you describe how you guys interact normally and what exactly you would like to see more often from him?
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/24 01:57 AM
2

This is perfectly RP advice -- I frequently "bring the problem not the solution" even if I already know what the go is and what I've set my mind to do. It allows him to be creative with new solutions. Eg let's say OP's man suggests doing it slightly differently. Going along with it one more time and trying any suggestions of his and explaining why it still doesn't feel right will earn her his love and care, even if she "brings the solution" after that.
/r/RedPillWomen26/08/24 05:26 AM
2

Also, all the men in sexless marriages absolutely did go backward. I think they would be more than happy for any sort of resumption.
/r/RedPillWomen26/08/24 05:15 AM
2

I'm the sort of person who needs to share my inner thoughts with my intimate partner even if they're not very into them so I sympathise. I disagree with both the people saying "keep it to yourself" and the people saying "you deserve better, find somebody else". No, you don't have to limit parts of yourself in an intimate relationship. But you also don't deserve anything just for existing or just for being a GF, you have to inspire interest in your interests. For example. I love watching Eurovisi…
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/24 12:03 AM
0

When I was 16 I lived with my family next to a pretty gross guy. He was maybe 10 years older than I was. He would order hookers (we knew because a) we could hear and b) one turned up at our house by mistake), smoke weed, and drink (and vomit). His cologne was disgusting and he oversprayed it so I always knew when he was around. He took a liking to me and turned up at the front door one day with a very expensive gift ($200+, some sort of art piece/statue) for me. My father flew into a rage, forba…
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/24 11:44 PM
3

For the record, I met a woman while on a night out (dodgiest night out ever) who said that she went on dates just to get free food. I was shocked, and assumed she did it because she was broke. Turns out she wasn't broke at all... So I am well aware this happens but assumed the numbers were like 1% or 5% of women ruining it for the rest, not a third or 44%. Geeeez. Also. I am well past college age but even 10 years ago, I never started a relationship with a dinner date. It's been pretty much the …
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/24 02:58 AM
3

I think it's natural to introspect when a relationship ends. Because I was reading RPW, I combined that introspection with a lot of self improvement. The end of a relationship/single phase combines really well with a self improvement phase.
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/24 10:28 AM
1

It's all well to stand on principle but you don't know how you will feel after you get pregnant/give birth. You may feel too attached to your baby to even take a day off. I hear a lot of parents, not just mums, change their mind about this stuff when the baby is born. They thought they could work or take time off and when it came down to it, they couldn't. You're also being very glib about being alone or being childless. There are much easier ways to solve the "I'm worried he won't love me for m…
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/24 09:00 AM
4

Interesting! Thank you for the report! I think in women's circles - men who refuse to commit/sleep around have always been unpopular. Eg the terms "cad", "lady-killer", "womaniser" were used in the past, and all have negative connotations. "Man whore", "playboi", and "fuckboi" seem to be the modern ones. It's only in men's circles that they get any sort of congratulations or kudos. In any conversation around women I've only ever heard that behaviour described in a negative tone. It's really odd …
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/24 10:46 PM
2

Yes, it's about not dating and focusing on self improvement goals.
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/24 09:06 PM
1

It was very natural. I would encourage him to do things and he wouldn't want/be able to, so he ended up getting frustrated with me. Which was fine. I stopped initiating conversations. When he did, I'd respond with platitudes or do a little banter just to not be rude but didn't introduce new topics or information. I think only be honest if he actually asks you for feedback. Most people don't want/respond well to unprompted feedback. Give him a heads up that you're looking to do things outside the…
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/24 05:45 AM
1

I think there's a stage of life for everything. When I was in that nun mode and talking to another depressed man, it was validating. But I ended up outgrowing him as I got better on my own. Sometimes that validation holds you back as you're mirroring those emotions. It makes it feel like those negative emotions are more correct than the positive ones and keeps you back. If you feel guilty sharing something positive or don't get a positive response when you share something positive, that's a sign…
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/24 03:16 AM
7

Life is suffering, therefore, no one should be alive. Not surprisingly this line of thinking doesn't make anyone feel great.
/r/RedPillWomen15/08/24 10:56 PM
5

I'm concerned he's that young and already has had negative experiences dating, enough to put him off having kids. Like I know the dating world is tough for men but that is really extreme. Did he give any details about what these experiences were? It's a big logical leap to go from "a girl rejected me/cheated on me" to "I'll never have kids". It sounds like he's blaming all women for what one or two women did. If you ever get involved with him, you'll be trying to make up for something someone el…
/r/RedPillWomen15/08/24 10:45 PM
11

Deep down I think men want someone who thinks they're special. I read a definition of flirting which I paraphrase as, "it's the act of talking to someone as if they're the only one in the room you want to talk to". Which gets at the core of all the seduction stuff, imo, it's all just convincing the other person that they're someone worthy of all the good stuff you're giving them. Which carries a lot of weight if they perceive you as a worthy person as well. If he can be your white knight, or if …
/r/RedPillWomen15/08/24 09:11 AM
4

My previous partner would make plans to go overseas. I would refuse because I saw them as frivolous wastes of money, even though he was happy to cover almost everything except the plane tickets for me, and I could easily afford it but chose to save instead. I was heavily implying (occasionally just stating outright) that 1) he was irresponsible with money and 2) I wouldn't follow him anywhere. Are you doing something similar, putting 50% of the cost on you when he didn't mean it that way, and re…
/r/RedPillWomen14/08/24 03:31 AM
1

Physical attraction is decided instantly and will not change No, it's not. For men it is, for women it isn't. The genders are very different in this matter.
/r/RedPillWomen14/08/24 01:33 AM
2

I don't think it's possible to be too obvious with men. They miss enough as it is. I think there is such a thing as too forward, too invested too early, or not respecting boundaries. Example of guys being dense. I had a male friend who received a note from a girl, let's call her A, who had a crush on him and it said, "What would you say if A asked you on a date?" And had two options: "Yes" and "No". She gave it to him herself so it was obvious it was from her. He thought it was a trick and put t…
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/24 06:19 AM
2

That doesn't give me any more context. I can't really help you if I don't have context. Are you two professionals on a date, are you friends at school, who are you talking to and what are the circumstances? Letting a few feelings peek through is probably going to give him a green light to approach you more (which is GOOD) so I don't know why you are even asking this from this angle.
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/24 01:12 AM
5

What kind of feelings?
/r/RedPillWomen03/08/24 10:56 PM
11

I never had weight issues but I was always unfit and weak. In nun mode I forced myself to do Yoga With Adrienne on YT, starting with her latest 30 Days of Yoga series, the her monthly calendars on her website, every day. I also took 8km joggs/walks (when I got puffed) around my local lake 4+ times a week. I tried to make it daily too and pushed myself to run till I couldn't. I never could run the full 8ks but even walking was nice and helped me exorcise the demons out of my head. The yoga helped…
/r/RedPillWomen03/08/24 04:41 AM
7

Nun mode to me is about confronting things that are stopping you from living your best life. So first you have to answer, what actual problems or setbacks are you experiencing that are keeping you single? Do you have any unprocessed trauma from childhood? Weight is correlated with ACEs. The stuff I did in nun mode was invaluable for my self esteem, my sense of purpose, and my sense of belonging and worth. I had to prove to myself I was someone who could do many things, scary things, and win. Som…
/r/RedPillWomen03/08/24 04:16 AM
6

The main reason I say this is because men view travel = lots of sexual partners. It may not be true or even logical, but that's still the impression a lot of men get which is why I'm trying to say "play it down".
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/24 04:17 AM
5

That's fair. In that case I'd still mention travel less than four times though, yes try to substitute the emojis to something else, and maybe play up the outdoorsy/fitness angle since that seems to be a large part of your life as well.
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/24 04:08 AM
7

You mention travel six times in a very short profile. lake kayaking (unless there's a local lake you kayak on I'm assuming this is a travel thing) plane beach (unless there's a local beach In assuming this is a travel thing) travel partner plane emoji world emoji It shouldn't be that prominent, it's not your entire personality. So definitely cut that down. Talk about your values maybe.
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/24 01:02 AM
13

Just some stalling tactics that mighty make your life easier while you decide what to do. You mention him saying you're arguing. Can you make a bargain with him - he doesn't criticise you for what you choose to do in your free time, or how different you are from the other woman, and you won't criticise or comment on him and how he spends his free time, and don't comment on him choosing to spend time with her? It could be a shaky sort of truce that would let you both feel like you're walking on l…
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/24 12:32 AM
12

Your profile is very "party girl". Even childfree men are looking for someone who is a little serious.
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/24 12:24 AM
5

I don't think that just because he gives you a job, it means that you are "paying". Taxes are a weird thing where the cost of your plane trip, or part of it, could be offset against what he owes the tax office. So "he" is still paying but the amount he owes the tax office reduces.
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/24 03:37 AM
29

I don't get the feeling that he has a 50/50 relationship in mind, I get the feeling he had an issue come up and asked for your help with it and you refused to help him. This isn't about 50/50 it's about you not playing on his team. Any man would have the expectation that if he had a problem, he could come to his spouse with it and receive both understanding and actual help. Neither was forthcoming in this instance. I'd be less worried about 50/50 and more worried about being demoted to plate.
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/24 03:01 AM
1

I don't know much about either autism or ADHD. But this thread might help you out :) https://www.reddit.com/r/books/comments/u052j3/has_anyone_actually_benefitted_from_reading_how/
/r/RedPillWomen28/07/24 10:19 PM
2

That's good. However, don't you think your mental health issues and diagnosis are a bigger contributing factor to you being alone, rather than your looks? It's not normal for men to react with anger when women flirt with them, or even if they're rude to them. My take on the angry reactions is that you have few social skills and are provoking that reaction in some behavioral way (eg going up to complete strangers, interrupting them when they're doing something else, approaching men who have a bad…
/r/RedPillWomen28/07/24 01:00 AM
2

What the Pink Pill and maybe some RPW get wrong, imo, is that if the woman does any chasing ever, the relationship will be a disaster. That's simply not true. Relationships require effort & honesty from both sides and if that's there from the start, great. The reason we advise women not to chase too soon is because she runs the risk of overinvesting into someone that doesn't care about her, and robbing herself of a chance to vet his investment. But if he's the caring, kind, thoughtful, loyalty-b…
/r/RedPillWomen27/07/24 01:23 AM
2

Can't you just put less effort into your appearance for a bit, like not let go completely but just stop feeling like you're competing, do what you think is "good enough", and see if your boyfriend treats you any differently. I'm wagering he won't which is why I suggest it. I don't always look my best, like I do try but life happens, and it's fine, and nothing bad happens as a result. I think women put so much more stress on themselves than men ever do.
/r/RedPillWomen27/07/24 01:03 AM
3

Then is it a bad thing that your boyfriend found you? Because women like you exist. It's possible for a woman to be sexually attracted to a short man. If you think your son finding someone like you is fine, then it's fine to have a short son.
/r/RedPillWomen26/07/24 09:14 PM
5

5'4" is already very close to average in India, they're not outliers.
/r/RedPillWomen26/07/24 10:47 AM
8

Do you find your boyfriend attractive sexually? Is there anything about him that makes you want to rip his clothes off? Because if you don't, then maybe "almost perfect" is misleading. Not wanting to have sex with someone that you're thinking of marrying is a big deal.
/r/RedPillWomen26/07/24 10:28 AM
5

I read your post history. Honestly when you broke up with him I thought it was for the right reasons - long term futures not matching, incompatibility. It seems like when you break up for all the right reasons he's the one pressuring you two to get back together for all the wrong reasons. I thought that fight where he blamed you for flirting with another man before you two started dating was a bit much. I didn't understand why that was such a huge problem for him, he went through your phone, fou…
/r/RedPillWomen25/07/24 12:55 PM
11

From personal experience, having slept with two guys in my friend group, they didn't seem all that keen to talk about it. I think they both felt possessive and jealous and didn't want to dwell on it with the other guy. Don't worry about things that haven't happened yet.
/r/RedPillWomen25/07/24 03:29 AM
13

You're going through an extended Walk of Shame by having to see the same people again and again. There's a few ways out of this. The most immediate is to move, switch colleges/campuses, get them out of your sight. As long as they're not trying to make eye contact or conversation with you, you can also ignore them and focus on your studies. If they are, reject them somehow, nicely or rudely whatever works, and physically make it hard for them to approach you. Surround yourself with girlfriends fo…
/r/RedPillWomen25/07/24 01:07 AM
2

This is getting downvotes but says exactly what Ark did in her post on Shit Testing. Maybe because the downvoters are thinking of nuclear shit tests?
/r/RedPillWomen24/07/24 11:46 PM
7

For me I see a lot of differences in "emphasis on looksmaxxing" and often hard looksmaxxing (eg surgery or other body modifications). That's a lot rarer on RPW than the other communities. I think we're more used to dealing with "I'm a 3 and want to look like a 6" questions than we are with "I'm a 7 and want to look like a 9" questions. Comes back to different goals and different types of men.
/r/RedPillWomen24/07/24 12:41 AM
4

You mentioned college, so that would probably be the first place to start. Talk to people in your classes or look up some clubs.
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/24 10:16 PM
22

You may have heard that being a girl is dating in "easy mode" in the manisphere. While this is not always true, due to the lack of male hypergamy, most women can find a suitable husband just by lowering their standards. This is not an option for men. Hence the difference in advice. The men at the top (say top 10 or 20%) also tend to have higher requirements and require more compromise, eg non monogamy, which is not acceptable to a lot of women in LTRs. They may be cool with it for a year or two …
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/24 02:02 AM
9

If you are having trouble finding friends then it's most likely not your looks that are the issue, but something about your attitude. Focus on finding friends first. Whatever problems you're going to encounter dating, you're probably also going to have while socialising platonically. So troubleshoot your people skills by practicing with finding friends first, because all you have to worry about there is matching interests and compatibility, none of that SMV stuff that's dragging you down.
/r/RedPillWomen21/07/24 10:03 PM
9

Based on your edit, I think you've come away with the wrong idea. Loyalty is very real and it exists, it's what we aim to get at RPW. My thoughts are: 1) Are you dating high status men who are unwilling to compromise? Lower status men would be more likely to have reasonable expectations. 2) Similarly, even if they're not high status, are you attracted to men with dark triad traits? Men who are more "beta" would be willing to take care of you and stay with you through life difficulties. 3) Is thi…
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/24 10:36 PM
1

Why are you seeing a therapist?
/r/RedPillWomen19/07/24 09:38 PM
9

Procrastination is the same as perfectionism. I think you're trying to get the "perfect" approach but also letting that hold you back from making meaningful connections in your life. Don't procrastinate, make a list of things to work on, work on one a day :) even a daily gratitude journal can make such a difference.
/r/RedPillWomen19/07/24 05:02 AM
16

I think you're putting the cart before the horse. Right now your problem is going on dates and putting your best foot forward, not sex. Having sex with someone and being dumped or dumping them can feel awful, especially if they're your first, but it's part of life. It's not the end of the world. Sex will strengthen your bond to someone which is why it's scarier to have the relationship fail after sex then before. Being a virgin means that you'll fall harder if you do fall but your problems aren'…
/r/RedPillWomen19/07/24 02:53 AM
3

I was shaming you for your statement that everyone who disagrees with you is insincere/bullied into their opinion. Don't put words into my mouth.
/r/RedPillWomen17/07/24 05:09 AM
4

Yeah look, I'm not getting the feeling you have that much real world experience backing you up. The men that prioritise fertility don't stay in long term relationships, making them people we should be actively avoiding. May I ask, what is your relationship experience?
/r/RedPillWomen17/07/24 04:56 AM
7

I'm not the one doing the generalising, a man is XD I've been here for a while, I've read a lot of RP theory. And I have my disagreements with the idea that men are led by their penises. For example, RP would state that women are always the gatekeepers of sex, yet on two occasions (that's 50%) of the men I've dated they've been the ones that delayed sex. You never hear about the men that don't hit on much younger woman only the men that do. It's not exactly something a man would boast about to o…
/r/RedPillWomen17/07/24 01:04 AM
9

Imagine how much more mature you will be at 33, and you'll get a sense of the difference. If you make it to 33 and realise you've done more/actualised more than he had at 33, it may cause resentment. If you do get the chance to take this further, ask about what he was like at 20 and how he's grown since then. How he's spent his life. You can't make like for like comparisons at different ages, you have to do them at roughly the same age. Do note that rough family upbringings can delay or stall li…
/r/RedPillWomen17/07/24 12:35 AM
5

Every man is an individual... I'm in an age gap relationship right now but he has said that he couldn't date someone younger than 25. Just the maturity gap. He hasn't been bullied into his views, just his genuine opinion from interacting with women.
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/24 09:57 PM
12

Simply based on the fact that you've broken up twice now, no, I don't think you two are right for each other. And this is absolutely a breakup, "week to decide" is rubbish. It's an off again on again relationship. Those generally don't work out, because the reasons you broke up are likely not resolved whenever the relationship restarts. Case in point, why did you break up the first time and was that issue resolved? > he's 24/7 talking to me is as patient as he is for me This makes me think you'r…
/r/RedPillWomen15/07/24 08:11 AM
6

Sure, haha but I don't feel old. I'm only like 1/3 of the way through life (touch wood) and I live with that in mind, setting myself up for the rest of my life. I think as you get older you just care less about what others think, a lot of people have told me that. So self esteem should improve with age, I think that is the natural way of things, regardless of looks. When I was 26 my partner died and that put me in a very dark headspace, I was reading the antinatalism subreddit. And I noticed tha…
/r/RedPillWomen14/07/24 09:39 PM
1

Try the Period Repair Manual by Lara Briden.
/r/RedPillWomen13/07/24 10:35 PM
16

This may be premature but I've hit the big three O and feel overqualified to talk about this lol. There are probably women who are decades ahead of me rolling their eyes and going "oh sweet summer child" but I'll share my point in time vignette. So for reference - I've worked at the same company since I was in my early 20s and straight out of university. It's a male dominated company, not a famous one, but big enough to have a regular turnover and for new people to come in all the time and for a…
/r/RedPillWomen13/07/24 02:27 AM
11

they also get a bit upset when I won't sleep with them immediately. This is 100% the reason they don't want to see you again. They weren't looking for a girlfriend they were looking for a ONS. If you are relying on men asking you out in public then any man who asks you out is probably going to be looking for sex. Men who might not be looking for sex are going to be men who have spoken to you before, who work with you or study with you, are in your friend circle, and are already acquaintances.
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/24 10:19 PM
3

To give you a perspective on leadership. If he wants that much authority he also has to take on that much responsibility. For example, let's say someone is training a puppy and they're teaching it to sit. The trainer says "sit" and the puppy sits but is visibly uncomfortable and starts whining and fidgeting. The trainer says "sit" again and the puppy stops fidgeting and quietens down. It turns out the puppy did a wee on the floor while it was being told to sit :( Who is responsible for the mess …
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/24 11:39 AM
3

I don't think my advice comes anywhere close to "competing" with him. It's restoring his trust in her. If you read her comments on the other post, you'll see that his specific criticism of her was that he couldn't rely on her and that was what was causing problems in their relationship. He had to wake her up to catch the flight for their vacation because she didn't bother to organise herself, and he resented that. She messed up booking the hotel and they had to walk 30 min to another one and he …
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/24 10:12 AM
16

Please don't. Keep it as dirty talk but forget about the idea of it ever happening and stop pushing it to happen for real.
/r/RedPillWomen10/07/24 01:02 PM
20

Yeah I think if they actually go through with this the whiplash from "kinky girlfriend" to "can't look her in the eyes again" is going to be severe.
/r/RedPillWomen10/07/24 12:56 PM
17

That's dirty talk, roleplay/fantasy. Like how women have rape fantasies but if a guy actually tries to force himself on them they call the cops. You can't take something he said as dirty talk and extrapolate to "he actually wants this in real life". Stop. It's not the same thing.
/r/RedPillWomen10/07/24 12:53 PM
3

Was it during sex?
/r/RedPillWomen10/07/24 12:34 PM
2

If you don't move there is no way you can be married within 2 years :)
/r/RedPillWomen10/07/24 12:10 PM
28

Stop bringing it up. Based on his responses he's clearly uncomfortable with it and you're pushing it and not taking no for an answer. Fantasies are fine but this is crossing into "let's decide if we should have a threesome on our honeymoon" territory which he's probably not keen on at all.
/r/RedPillWomen10/07/24 12:09 PM
14

Who brought it up this time, you or him?
/r/RedPillWomen10/07/24 11:08 AM
10

Right. Well here's the hard truth, your fiance is a people pleaser. It's not necessarily a bad trait but it is a difficult one when he's the Captain and supposed to be in charge of boundaries and there's a toxic and insistent boundary crosser right there in your face. If you're happy with your boyfriend how he is, his sister pisses you off but he doesn't, and you don't have the balls to tell her off yourself or enforce those boundaries, then you stay with him, grit your teeth until you move into…
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/24 01:29 PM
3

Ah okay, so this is a very temporary issue. Do you think he will be close to his family after the marriage or no? Do you get any support from his parents in regards to his sister or do they turn a blind eye?
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/24 10:31 AM
3

So where will you live after you get married if his sister hates you and wants you out of their home?
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/24 10:28 AM
7

I think that if you stay in your current city, you're wasting time. You are putting your relationship with him on hold for two years until you can both move to be together in the third city. If you can afford to waste two years of life... Stay where you are. But it will be a waste of your good dating years. Even if it doesn't work out with him in the next 12 months you'll be free, and quicker than you would have been otherwise. What is your timeline for marriage, when do you want kids?
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/24 10:26 AM
13

You posted about the same issue 15 days ago. I asked a few questions which you didn't respond to. I'll ask again. Has anything changed since 15 days ago? Can you confirm how dependent he is on his family for living arrangements, financially, etc? What is his long term plan once you two get married?
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/24 10:18 AM
25

I am rich and I will never understand, that he hates people like me and is jealous. He crossed the line right here imo. As soon as he said he hated "people like you" it became a him vs you mentality. He's not on your team and he won't have your best interests at heart. Let him go, he's not your problem, you don't have to "prove" that you can love "someone like him". He's just not it.
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/24 08:35 AM
7

Well the "high achieving family" implies there is some family pressure there. There's an anecdote in the Bollywood movie 3 Idiots, before a child is born, the parents said: "if it's a girl she'll be a doctor, and if it's a boy he'll be an engineer". These career fields are extremely cliched and honestly yellow flags for self determination. Especially if their siblings are like that too. He probably had parents who wouldn't accept any other career for an answer and raised him with a lot of filial…
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/24 07:16 AM
13

If there's anything I see it's that these men are all immature or underdeveloped in some way. They're not individual in the sense that they stand on their own two feet and decide their own destinies. The first guy had no ambitions and no achievements. The second guy had ambitions and achievements but they took a weirdly long time and he was 10 years behind his cohort to the point where your achievements actually threatened him. So it's kinda like... He missed the boat, and he can't get that back…
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/24 03:04 AM
19

Why was he against you buying a condo?
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/24 08:02 AM
3

I've read your comments on the other post as well. When he gave you the choice - "fall in line or step up" you took it as him saying "fall in line" but I think he actually wants you to step up. You perceive him as being really serious and analytical and I get that you're trying to introduce him to fun and spontaneity. But the reason he is serious and analytical is because he perceives the world as too chaotic. You bringing more chaos at the wrong place and wrong time is going to make him more se…
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/24 12:48 AM
3

Can you expand on what "unsupported in every way possible" means?
/r/RedPillWomen04/07/24 07:44 AM
5

This post coming so soon after your last makes me second guess your motives. now he won't talk to me or even look me in the eyes and honestly even if he does talk to me eventually, I don't know what to tell him Has this even resolved yet? Who made peace and how tentative is that peace? Regarding him not telling his family about you, it's less concerning if he has a poor or toxic relationship with his family and doesn't tell them much of anything. But in that case I'd expect him to make up for th…
/r/RedPillWomen03/07/24 09:28 PM
3

Yeah I've given a very stern No every time anyone asks to read my private journals (partners, parents) and even regarding art in visual diaries (to a lesser degree) because I leave notes in there too. They have never stopped being cringe, even 15+ years later. I don't think OP's relationship trust can come back, and I also don't think her partner is at fault because I don't think he imagined what could be in there, nor is he able to imagine how any of that stuff could be not her actual thoughts.…
/r/RedPillWomen02/07/24 06:43 AM
5

Only someone who keeps a rant filled journal would understand that their contents are not to be trusted... Anyone who thinks what they feel and feels what they think 100% of the time would be aghast. I think it's a disconnect between these two modes of being. I kept rant filled journals at many points in my life, and when I read them back I'm like, "LOL why am I so melodramatic. None of this is real." But explaining that to someone would be impossible.
/r/RedPillWomen02/07/24 02:54 AM
3

I think their level of familiarity can be a bit higher, but if they're not constantly bumping into each other there's no expectation of being besties or even making contact. An awkward "long time no see, what's been happening with you" at the occasional family gathering is perfectly fine. Any more than that has to come with time and familiarity and genuine warmth and sounds like that simply isn't there, and doesn't really have to be there, and faking it will create needless resentment. Especiall…
/r/RedPillWomen29/06/24 01:47 AM
7

What makes you think you have to connect with her?
/r/RedPillWomen28/06/24 11:37 PM
1

Without getting too meta physical, if I had to put numbers on it all, I'd say: 60% is just bad/misguided advice giving 30% actively malicious and conscious. 10% unconscious. If we disagree on that breakdown that's cool. Edit: I could have a wildly different breakdown in two weeks. Don't take anything I say too to heart.
/r/RedPillWomen27/06/24 07:24 AM
1

I didn't think that deeply about it and didn't know that many details about the study, such as controlling for SMV. I also don't put too much stock in too-good-to-be-true conclusions because I trust academics to report the truth less than I trust journalists to (because of the reproducibility crisis). I also think that women are definitely capable of sabotaging other women but I find it hard to believe that it would be subconscious, so the scope of the question is perhaps wrong.
/r/RedPillWomen26/06/24 11:13 AM
2

I've entered two relationships with short hair so I think it's very personal.
/r/RedPillWomen26/06/24 06:55 AM
3

Oh dear. Once or multiple times? What else was going on? What did he ask?
/r/RedPillWomen26/06/24 01:29 AM
1

Who was at fault in the initial argument when you guys decided to split?
/r/RedPillWomen26/06/24 01:18 AM
14

From this very limited exchange - sounds like you are in the wrong. You escalated from 20 to 100 just because he showed frustration with your question. Your other response options were: "I have just had a baby, I am hormonal and need to know you are loyal to me." "I need reassurance from you that you love me - of course I don't want to hear that you are spending time with women I don't know when I am away. Imagine if a man came over to cut my hair when you were away!" Or any other combination of…
/r/RedPillWomen26/06/24 01:12 AM
6

The further it gets from my own preferences, the less I am willing to accommodate. Eg... If he asked me to get surgery I'd probably say no. But simultaneously he'd never ask that because I think men are very transactional/realistic in their expectations. Multiple partners have refused to tell me their preferences and insisted I do what I like when it comes to new things. But when it comes to things I entered the relationship with - eg long hair, personal style - they are very forthcoming about w…
/r/RedPillWomen26/06/24 01:00 AM
2

Well I always had a(n ir)rational hatred of Zooey Deschanel in high school because all the nerd guys I liked adored her. It's probably the same effect. But I also still think bangs are the hottest thing ever on a woman and nearly every guy I've ever asked thinks it makes women look worse. So there ya go.
/r/RedPillWomen25/06/24 10:25 PM
10

Mean girls was a documentary!
/r/RedPillWomen25/06/24 01:11 PM
18

I'd like to offer some counter arguments to make this interesting. Occam's razor. Sure, "misery loves company"... But what if it's simpler than that. People (women in this case) in general give more bad advice than good. Especially if they're single... They may be genuinely yet mistakenly spreading their own misinformed but sincere takes on dating and relationships. Regarding the hair study: my personal opinion is that hetero women think androgynous women are "hotter" than ultra feminine women. …
/r/RedPillWomen25/06/24 10:46 AM
3

Is this something that would concern you only for your wedding or is this something you are concerned about long term as well? How close is your fiance's family, how often do they get together? What is his long term strategy? Because if his sister is like this and his family do nothing about it, it's fairly likely there's something wrong with his parents as well. Maybe his strategy is a slow fade - not spending holidays with them, limiting contact, without risking a big fight which could blow up…
/r/RedPillWomen24/06/24 11:49 PM
7

But you two live apart and there's little chance of anything physical happening soon. So he has to invest heavily (either by travelling to see you regularly or by giving you enough time and attention to allow you to feel comfortable to travel to see him regularly) and likely he has realised he doesn't have the funds or the time to do any of the above. He's basically told you he can't act on his feelings and can't do anything. I would suggest you cut back your investment to match the effort he's …
/r/RedPillWomen24/06/24 04:11 AM
1

Do you two know each other IRL or is it an online only thing?
/r/RedPillWomen24/06/24 02:47 AM
2

I'm confused, who confessed their feelings first and how did it come up?
/r/RedPillWomen24/06/24 02:30 AM
3

Applying what men who haven't met you think about women you haven't met and without any idea if you'd even be interested in those men is not useful. Chemistry is very individual. "Too perfect" makes me think the girl is out of their SMV/RMV league and they are coping hard. Or she's not friendly to them, acts like she is above them, or is from another social class. None of those things are bad... it could be a deliberate strategy women employ to distance themselves from men they're not interested…
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/24 03:02 AM
2

The female equivalent of a nice guy would be a "one of the guys" girl that drinks/smokes/cusses/sleeps around or starts fights. Not a pickme. You're making the same mistake as nice guys do, projecting onto men what you dislike. Men aren't turned off by desperate women the way women are turned off by desperate men. Men are turned off by aggressive women more than they are turned off by doormats. I also wonder if "pickme"s are artificially presented as more unattractive than others by choosing exa…
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/24 02:46 AM
1

Has he done anything or said anything about it - like has he given you advice or says he will talk to them?
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/24 03:12 AM
7

They usually wait until my boyfriend is out of earshot to say something like this to me. Tell him what they are saying/said.
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/24 10:03 PM
26

Yeah they're into you and get off on any intimate details you reveal to them (including body count and dating history). If you're not interested in any of them as a suitor, then you need to stop answering their questions or giving them any more intimate details. "Thats none of your business." "Stop being creepy." "You're not my brother I don't have to tell you anything." "Have you got a girlfriend yet? Maybe you should focus on your own life." "Why do you care?" "Ew you're grossing me out." "Sto…
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/24 08:02 AM
9

Agreed it's crass behaviour especially if she has a boyfriend. But asking her body count can definitely be an attempt at flirting or an expression of interest because it's a sexual topic. Men will always try to bring up sex with women they want to have sex with. That's why women get dick pics, they want to make the exchange sexual, quickly.
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/24 07:49 AM
6

Recently I asked if we divorced and were together for years, would he let me keep the house (because it would have been special to me etc especially if we have kids) but his answer was strictly no. Girl... Even if you are thinking this why would you ask it??? So he basically thinks now that you are planning to divorce him and take the house. He will never marry you/trust you again. Your future with this man is over. I'm sorry I know that was not your intent but you put your foot in it big time. …
/r/RedPillWomen16/06/24 11:23 PM
2

With him, I am always pressing an imaginary brake I think this attitude is a little detrimental to your mutual enjoyment of shared rides. Do your best to relax and talk about other topics when he is driving. It can be very unsettling when your passenger is looking to fault you even if they don't say anything, and he may be deliberately driving a little crazier just because he is annoyed with your reactions (yes even if they are silent). Give him some trust and see if he returns it.
/r/RedPillWomen16/06/24 01:20 AM
2

Yeah, you didn't do anything wrong. He asked, you replied. He might have thought he wanted small talk but once it started he changed his mind. Follow his lead.
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/24 05:52 AM
6

It is realistic. But he is not all men at all times, and it's not something we should be accepting of if we have other options. I have always had a war within myself with the RP notion of "never marry" and sought to balance that by promoting the idea of a woman worth marrying, worth devoting to, worth living for. If men are the actual romantics, if men are born bluepill, if men are naturally protective and caring, then yes, in the general case, I see them as worth submitting to (provided that th…
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/24 02:04 PM
6

The reasons we enter relationships are not the same reasons we stay in them. I find it poignant that the discussion was about sickness. If a man gets sick and is unable to have sex, as happened to me, are you really trying to tell me he wouldn't bother with me at all... It is a slap in the face. He died in bed with me, after an unsuccessful 2-3 years of constant chemo and surgery and long bouts of dead bedroom. I was ready to quit my job to take care of him, except they gave me leave instead bec…
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/24 06:14 AM
11

I think the worst mindset you could have is an "it's over" mindset, because you'll preemptively assume there's something wrong with the men you're meeting for them to be interested in you. That's shooting yourself in the foot, both in terms of under valuing good men and putting them off. I'm very sorry your relationship ended. Take the time to grieve. In case you need a fluffy pick-me-up, recently I saw this field report.
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/24 11:51 PM
15

There are 100 innocent explanations for his actions but you're jumping to "he wants to get rid of me". Come on, rein that hamster. Such as - listening to a podcast or audiobook - listening to music - making some calls - meditating or ruminating - going for a run/walk - checking his mailbox - being alone - reducing the amount of time he spends on the phone The list can go on. Me personally, I don't really like staying on the phone that long even if I don't have anything else to do. It just feels …
/r/RedPillWomen07/06/24 03:19 AM
3

The good thing about not interfering is that you are not responsible for another person's outcomes. If say, her relationship goes bad, and you interfered, she could blame it on you or blame it on your lifestyle or values. It's harder to take responsibility and self improve when someone who is like a mentor was there because you feel less involved in your own downfall. If her relationship goes bad and you don't interfere, she could blame it on all those things, minus you, but also blame it on her…
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/24 11:38 PM
1

Are they all from a different culture/ethnicity? I know some ethnicities are pretty specific/weird about certain features. Eg I had a friend who remarked on "how straight" someone's legs were. Lol. Not something I've ever noticed before or since. You could also be more sensitive about those things since you did get them altered - eg if someone remarked on how pretty your eyes, hair, or clothes were you might not notice at all.
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/24 06:42 AM
5

Storytime. Back when I was 19... I was near the tail end of my polyamorous phase. One guy had already dumped me and the other was LDR, so it was just me and the LDR pretending we were poly (we weren't, just scarred into apathy, long story). A local guy asked me out on a date, and I said yes. I told my LDR who was a bit sad about it but hid his feelings well. At the start of the date, literally right after we ordered cappuccinos, I blurted that I was in a polyamorous relationship with another guy…
/r/RedPillWomen05/06/24 05:26 AM
7

It's not my responsibility to couch reality just because of how it "sounds" Why women feel afraid to be direct is completely irrelevant Not asking you to not be real, maybe just don't call the OP disrespectful when she hasn't done anything disrespectful and is coming here for advice on how not to be disrespectful. All that's going to happen is she will ignore your advice. If you took the time to write it out don't alienate everyone who could use it. Do you think I didn't consider WHY I'm glad yo…
/r/RedPillWomen05/06/24 05:01 AM
14

With all due respect to your position as a moderator of the men's subreddit and an EC over there, you are out of your depth on this one. What underlies OP's (and every woman's - she is most certainly not alone here) reluctance to come clean is not lack of respect (manipulation) but an excess of it. A primal form of respect that we commonly call "fear". She is afraid to tell him. Why? Well the usual reasons. Fear of him rejecting her, fear of him being hurt, fear of him hurting her. The reasons w…
/r/RedPillWomen05/06/24 03:17 AM
14

To be frank I'm not sure what your advice is, either. Her edit poses the question, "what should I do if he asks what I'm doing that day?" Which is not the same as him asking "are you going on a date?" And already assumes she has used the "prior commitment" line.
/r/RedPillWomen05/06/24 02:12 AM
5

Well put, this is exactly how I think. Finding true love later on does not somehow invalidate a great relationship you had in the past, or mean that it wasn't "true".
/r/RedPillWomen04/06/24 03:12 AM
6

"Connection" and "real love" are different concepts which you are conflating. It doesn't need to be magical to be real love (two people can have great relationship with mutual understanding and support, but also acknowledging they are not the only possible partners for each other) and a connection does not imply a great relationship (trauma bonds, codependent or abusive relationships, or even great chemistry can all feel very intense but aren't healthy or aren't enough to build a relationship on…
/r/RedPillWomen04/06/24 03:07 AM
2

Can you highlight a nontrivial example of lack of intimacy? I understand that you're feeling disconnected and unvalued and that hurts. But you're not doing yourself any favours by asking for advice without bringing an example that actually illustrates that. If all you have is trivial examples, and you have many examples of him caring for you (working hard to provide, marrying you, spending time with you, planning fun things with you) maybe you are creating problems out of nothing. Start a gratit…
/r/RedPillWomen04/06/24 12:37 AM
1

You spent the majority of the post not writing about the family issues, seems like something you tacked on at the end. What specifically about his family concerns you? Different spending/budgeting habits?
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/24 02:37 AM
3

X might change his mind about you once he has sex with you, and delaying it is simply prolonging the rose-coloured-glasses phase. I'm not saying sleep with him ASAP. I'm saying read The Final Exam and confront the very real possibility that you have treated X like crap and he will realise that as soon as he gets Post Nut Clarity.
/r/RedPillWomen28/05/24 05:17 AM
1

When I initially read your comment, what I got was blackpill. I was also crabby most of today. I think crabby people attract crabby people. Peace bro.
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/24 11:44 AM
1

Are you calling OP a liar as well or are you just a troll?
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/24 04:03 AM
1

So... Your only take away from this field report was "all men are liars"?
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/24 12:48 AM
1

This is a beautiful reflective comment. u/HappySpinningSeal can I give a star to Early Minute?
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/24 12:47 AM
8

A man who commits intimate partner violence is also likely to have issues at work/issues keeping a steady job. So I think the term "blue collar" is misleading as we don't know if those men being counted as blue collar are even employed, or employed steadily. I'd say you're still right but maybe not by as much as the numbers indicate. I do think having financial stress can boil over into DV, which is something the rich end of town might not be worrying about as much. A man who has a steady job an…
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/24 02:45 AM
6

I'm sorry OP. Also an apology for focusing on the financial aspects in my latter comment. I think a lot of the discussions got carried away with free board vs tenancy, including mine. Looking back on your post now with hindsight - do you think if you meet another man like him, would you vet based on different criteria? Would you decide whether to move in or not based on different reasoning?
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/24 06:06 AM
11

Make a peace offering. Ask him pretty please to help you dry your hair next time it's wet.
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/24 02:41 AM
28

It could be a sensory thing, he could be sensitive to the feel of wet hair. I know my boyfriend flinches when wet hair slaps him in the face or drips on him XD it becomes a cat-o-nine-tails and it's like that Willow Smith song, not pleasant. Plus when he strokes your face or head it will feel cold. If he offers to dry it for you just go along with it and use it as a platonic bonding experience (as long as he's not weird about it, like "it puts the heat protectant on its hair" haha). It's not a r…
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/24 02:29 AM
3

I don't know if it's controlling but it's definitely mean and not loving. I can see someone saying shut up when they are frustrated to their wits end and it not being controlling. However the fact that he repeated it later is an indication he didn't do so out of emotion and he had no interest in preserving the peace with you or taking your feedback on board. I would say it's not fine, especially since the two of you were unable to resolve the issue satisfactorily when revisiting it later. If you…
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/24 12:57 AM
5

You did the right thing. The different ways this plays out doesn't benefit you if you stay matched. Let's assume he was telling the truth and doesn't plan to visit anytime soon. Which means he either doesn't have the funds or the availability to see you, so your relationship is a physical impossibility. Staying matched only means an awkward conversation down the line with the next man you date, or an awkward conversation with this guy about why you're unmatching him because you met someone else.…
/r/RedPillWomen23/05/24 09:14 PM
4

Np, scripts are my thing. I think in future try to think about what he may be worried about (which you were already doing) but then you also have to plug the gaps with logic. You have to volunteer something you didn't realise or weren't thinking of at the time that you realised later which will bring harmony. In this case it was that he was making/bantering with a friend, not being a workaholic (though that may be true as well). I can see that what you meant was that you didn't want to be fake o…
/r/RedPillWomen20/05/24 03:39 AM
3

"When I said that I didn't realise that stocks is a personal interest for you as well as work, and that men bond over work-like interests the same way women bond over fashion or makeup. I never meant that you are unappreciated or not allowed to be yourself at our wedding (presumptuous???? If so replace "our" with "your"). < Jen's script here > Something like that would probably also "end" the argument as well.
/r/RedPillWomen20/05/24 03:02 AM
3

I'm the same as you, I definitely don't want men to feel unappreciated or diminished so if that's how he felt, it's a regrettable thing. But I also think that if he felt unappreciated *when he wasn't* that's even worse and you apologising makes it sound like you were trying to snub him when you weren't. It's like admitting "yeah I meant you're worthless" when you said no such thing. So I think it's really important to figure out how to talk about these issues in a clear and transparent way so th…
/r/RedPillWomen20/05/24 02:25 AM
9

Two questions. 1) why do you think he got upset? I'm confused about why this is upsetting to him. I'm also confused about what your comment even meant so would appreciate a bit more detail. 2) are these kinds of arguments between the two of you common?
/r/RedPillWomen20/05/24 01:53 AM
4

There is no such thing as "said it all". You can have the same conversations over and over again - my partner and I certainly do. We just repeat jokes, and start conversations with "remember when". Occasionally we introduce new topics but it's normally something from Reddit or YT or the news. We have plenty to talk about when watching TV, we pause it and rant about how stupid the characters are for getting into totally predictable and totally avoidable situations. Shows take twice as long becaus…
/r/RedPillWomen19/05/24 12:41 AM
5

Have you empirically verified your assertion "I just don’t have any opinions or deep meaningful discussions topics" by hanging out with other people?
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/24 08:29 AM
3

I don't think what you're doing is STFU as it is not supposed to replace your opinions or deep and meaningful discussions. But I also think you're already doing the right thing in the context of your relationship and if you bring up your opinions and deep topics it doesn't go well for you, which is why you've resorted to this in the first place. Your current strategy is best described as grey rock and I think it is your best bet.
/r/RedPillWomen17/05/24 11:10 PM
15

I think there are a lot of ways to make men feel less masculine at 4 months in than having your own place. Would you say you've got the girl game down pat or are there areas you would like to improve on? Because sometimes women notice their man becoming more masculine when they get more feminine.
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/24 11:26 PM
47

The points you mentioned about being masculine are not my idea of femininity/masculinity. To get another man you will need good SMV, a pleasant yielding demeanor, and sweetness. These are way more important than do you pay for your apartment or do you work. So when you evaluate "am I feminine" you should be focusing on things like, do I come off as innocent, do I come off as graceful and poised, do men want to protect me, do men want to take care of me, am I fit and well presented, can I provide…
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/24 10:55 PM
119

The real question is, are you feminine enough for the masculine guy you want? If not, you're breaking up for a guy you can't even get.
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/24 10:36 PM
3

Of course. But that didn't stop the person I responded to from writing a comment explaining how OP was a literal prostitute and her boyfriend was a righteous moral crusader exposing her lack of character before deleting it after my response. There was a lot of ground to cover lol.
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/24 10:14 PM
4

I think OP's exact dilemma is why didn't he know she was joking.
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/24 12:08 PM
23

It's a poor test of moral integrity, because it is unable to distinguish between something said in jest and something said in seriousness.
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/24 11:35 AM
3

You should be really careful of letting someone else's judgement impact your own self worth, especially if they are based in falsehood or not representative of the men you want to be with. What I think men don't realise is that for many women, sleeping around isn't really an act of fun or pleasure. The mindset we have to be in to do it is closer to that of self harming than it is of emancipation or joy (which is what women's magazines, feminism, and soap operas preach it is). Men can't really un…
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/24 01:41 AM
8

I'm alarmed that you two have been together together for years and he hasn't developed love goggles and is still picking on your physical flaws. Did he always do this from the beginning or did it begin recently? For reference, love goggles" are what you want -https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/alllji/love\_goggles/ - the 10/10 vision reserved for his wife/LTR no matter how she ages. He hasn't got them and it means he isn't in love with you. You need to determine whether this is becau…
/r/RedPillWomen11/05/24 09:31 PM
2

How is the rest of your relationship apart from this issue - is he happy with you, does he have any complaints about you, does he enjoy spending time with you, does he look forward to seeing you?
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/24 03:44 AM
3

Sounds like a combination of a good partner, a stable place in life, and being more in tune with your body has allowed you to relax. Good on you for getting to here :)
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/24 12:07 AM
5

I think everyone deserves a second chance, and it seems like this was the moment she realised the two strategies were not going to work together.
/r/RedPillWomen07/05/24 09:42 PM
2

Understood, that's good :) vulnerability is the way.
/r/RedPillWomen07/05/24 09:27 PM
14

Careful, I'm saying the exact opposite of what you think I'm saying. There is very little room for vulnerability in a strategy with "calculated moves". They're almost mutually exclusive. If you want to make calculated moves you need to give up on the idea of The One or emotional closeness...
/r/RedPillWomen07/05/24 02:24 PM
21

Granted after Intimacy, I became super clingy and anxious but I knew I was and expressed that it was because of the Intimacy and it would wear off soon. Why did you express that your clinginess would wear off soon? This is wrong on so many levels. 1) you're hinting that he's not the first guy you've tried this on because you already know it'll wear off, and it's like a "routine" to you rather than a life changing relationship worthy of a lifetime of devotion and commitment 2) you're saying that …
/r/RedPillWomen07/05/24 01:54 PM
3

I have an almost success story in a previous 6 year relationship of mine. We had been in a dead bedroom for some months, where he was rejecting me because he had medical issues which were interfering with his sexuality. Neither of us had the highest libido, and I understood why it was happening. He was embarrassed to talk about it but I could see that even when he wanted to have sex he couldn't, so I didn't press him on it and it was not that big a deal. At the same time or maybe just after it s…
/r/RedPillWomen06/05/24 05:16 AM
2

The Female Social Matrix,, an old blog post. Standing out among females is generally an anxiety inducing thing, even if no one does anything about it or has any chance to sabotage you (eg they're strangers on the street).
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/24 12:09 AM
11

I don't think it's possible to have these roles at 100% every day, as you only have so many hours in a day and doing one will interfere with doing the others. Your own husband will also have preferences and may want to see you in one role more than the others. I only have notes to add about The Confidante. He may not want to stress you out, and hence won't involve you in the stuff that really stresses him out. Being a great Confidante or His Girl Friday is a double edged sword because it can als…
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/24 02:41 AM
2

It seems like your issues are solely related to how useful he feels in the relationship. Have a read of this old post about faux pas around his income and career/job. Read the For Women Only chapter on providing. Read the theory post about dominance levels in the relationship. Figure out which category you are in and adapt your strategy. You do not have to be the perfect submissive to his perfect dominant and that is very rare in reality. You just have to submissive enough for him to be happy an…
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/24 11:26 PM
1

You are assuming that his exhausted state after work is permanent. I don't think it is. You are advising her to leave the relationship if this doesn't improve after some time. I agree. The difference between what we're saying is, is that time now, and is there anything else she can try. I think there is. For example, adjusting her expectations for when quality time can occur, and talking to him about needing more quality time to see if he can solve her problem. I am not like the other ladies her…
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/24 10:50 PM
1

It also comes and goes in bursts that line up with stress/pressure from my personal life and job. When those stresses are removed I don't feel the urge to be a mindless zombie XD I don't try to fight it that much because I know in 3 months I will have a totally different interest/habit.
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/24 11:25 PM
1

So first off, I am not a man, but I agree with everything u/PillUpAss has said in this thread. It closely mirrors my own comment about needing downtime. Right now she’s spending much of her free time caring for him and he’s spending little to none become a good leader or showing that he’s going to be a capable leader and partner. I beg to differ. He's working hard at a job that stresses him out. That's the provider drive. If they were married, he'd already be living up to his part of the bargain…
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/24 10:42 PM
2

I hear what you're saying about the mindless time sucks... But nothing really beats them in terms of shaking stress off. So I see them as necessary down time rather than a waste of time. I find if I busy myself with other things I feel "cheated" of my downtime and I don't like that feeling.
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/24 10:21 PM
9

he winds down by ranting to me about his day at work, and then laying on the couch and watching YouTube. This is a symptom of having a stressful job imo. If I had a bad day I need a solid few hours to decompress and will be in a mostly introverted closed off state. Playing simple puzzle games or watching TV or watching YT. The interactions I have with my partner during this time will definitely be easy going low stress ones, simple in jokes we have developed that don't require much thought. When…
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/24 07:37 AM
5

And yet most women are fully receptive to being coached-up I think there's a big difference between following instructions (submissive behaviour and comes to most of us naturally) and giving instructions (dominant behaviour and turns me off). There's also a big difference between "I like X" and detailed step by step instructions such as necessary for going down on a woman. One wrong move basically turns me off immediately. Having to think about how to explain it to him turns me off immediately. …
/r/RedPillWomen28/04/24 04:17 AM
3

I think much the same way - in my thoughts I've been a serial killer, worst of the worst, yet IRL when I confessed my "worst deeds" to my boyfriend, he said, "you're about as malicious as a kitten." He could be biased though. I absolutely have the ability to become a bad person and to follow my worst impulses... But thinking is not the same as doing. There are a lot of safeguards that I employ against this; I leave parties early, I avoid certain people as much as is politely possible, I maintain…
/r/RedPillWomen27/04/24 05:08 AM
14

Another thing women (as a group) would be better off learning to do is tell their man what they actually like in bed, instead of keeping it a secret. I think part of what makes a woman feel safe and content is being understood and having her needs anticipated, without her explicitly having to say what they are. Having to explain what her needs are makes her feel more insecure and less understood as a result. This is of course an incredibly hard situation for both the man and the woman. This may …
/r/RedPillWomen27/04/24 03:01 AM
2

I crushed more and harder when my life was going poorly and I was single too. Definitely a correlation there.
/r/RedPillWomen27/04/24 12:37 AM
4

I am someone who used to "crush" on boys all the time in high school, definitely not monogamously. I blame it on boyband fan culture... Anyway it persisted to a lesser degree outside of high school, and the crushes did become more monogamous as I got older. I remember taking openly about my "crushes" to my boyfriend at the time. Though we were not in an open relationship, I did leave one to be with him, so he was aware I've done that in the past. Through trial and error I learnt that this was a …
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/24 10:23 PM
2

Anytime! I love taking about this theory stuff.
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/24 08:43 AM
5

Going through something similar at the moment... It's been a tough week for him. This is the most "at his limit" I've ever seen him. But I'm very grateful to be here and to be the one he trusts with his feelings. Thank you for the post.
/r/RedPillWomen22/04/24 10:13 PM
4

I think it's a bad strategy. It's so rare that a woman wouldn't really want to depend on it, and expecting his opinion to change would make her seem entitled. But... there are still reasons why this is relevant. 1) she has nothing to lose - she's convinced this man is THE man for her and wants to try anything and everything. 2) she is ok with risk and has time to waste. Eg, if she's a young 20 something and gets a shot with Elon Musk. She can hang around for 1 year and see what happens. (He's no…
/r/RedPillWomen22/04/24 09:58 PM
1

I am a drifter myself and the painful experiences were what helped me. I think people who do stuff themselves are very special. Most people do it reactively or out of necessity.
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/24 09:13 PM
5

Words are cheap. You said a lot but didn't have the heart to leave the relationship. He left first to make it easier on you. He made the strong move in this situation.
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/24 12:58 PM
17

No offence, but he did the right thing. He moved out and saved you grief and time. His last action was strong, not weak. He seemed to have been genuinely upset about not having a forward direction and I think that is what he will be trying to figure out now. He may not change to be what you wanted him to be but I think he will definitely change in some way. It is exactly these traumatic occurrences - setbacks at work/study, the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, and having to reloc…
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/24 10:28 PM
9

My partner never expected/wanted to have a relationship or have children again, at his age, and then he met me. At the very beginning he even said I needed to find another man if I wanted children because he wasn't at that stage in life and already had a child and couldn't do it again. I chose to stay with him anyway because he was very special to me. Now he wants children with me. I think for every example you'll see of men not committing for various reasons, you'll also another example of a ma…
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/24 10:00 AM
23

I don't like the word "let" because it is controlling. If he did it and you found it unacceptable you leave. Leaving the relationship is not controlling but it does require a strong will and courage.
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/24 01:23 AM
11

Him: "No I haven't." Me: "When we mail the rent check late, it makes it hard for me to keep track of the bills, because sometimes I think it's come out and we overdraw." So there's a few faux pas that you're making here which could be causing him to blow up. 1) You're bringing up multiple issues in one go. This can make an already sore spot much sorer. Stick to one issue and don't change the subject. In your example you brought up the rent check not being done and you also brought up bills not b…
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/24 05:35 AM
2

I'll try and help you with through your thoughts on this one by asking certain questions. Are you ok with disagreements in your relationship in general? If so, how is this one any different?
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/24 03:16 PM
3

I'm not sure why it's a problem if he dislikes you and/or you dislike him. Can't expect to get along with everyone. He's probably lying to your boyfriend about getting along with you but that hardly makes any difference to anything. If your boyfriend asks you what your opinion of him is you can tell him but otherwise there's no point in mentioning it.
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/24 02:55 PM
1

When I was dating my ex, I also felt guilty about the cost of the dates because neither of us made any income but he had more savings/allowance than I did. I was pretty upfront about the dates being financially out of reach for me. The cafe chain that we often had coffee at offered 2 for 1 cups of coffee with a membership so I paid for his membership and he was able to buy the coffee for us but only pay for 1 cup. You need to think about what you can afford. If you can't afford to eat out on dat…
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/24 11:58 PM
2

INFJ. We've talked before about this! I just want to reiterate my type changes whenever I take the test - this time it said INFP. But I did read about the types a lot and didn't think INFP fit since they are a lot more firm in their convictions than I am. INFJ is probably the right one. One advantage (disadvantage?) of being my type is I never have to guess whether he loves me. I just know. The performative relationship stuff - public declarations, vows, chocolates, flowers, etc, mean nothing to…
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/24 12:46 AM
2

When you snap back at your sister, you are inflicting pain on her to get her to stop. The reason she stopped annoying you is because whatever you said hurt her enough that she didn't want to be hurt again. So out of self protection, she stopped annoying you. Now imagine an argument with your husband. He says something mean. He didn't mean to hurt you, but he said it, and it hurt you. Because he was not deliberately annoying you like your sister, you cannot in good conscience deliberately inflict…
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/24 10:46 PM
1

I think the added commute, and the involvement in children's lives is probably the biggest sticking points. If you two separate, the children will be hurt if you are living with them for a significant time. That's a pretty big deal and definitely something you can talk to him about as a concern and see what he says. edit: even if he doesn't see it as a concern, you're well within your rights to refuse because of that. I did say in my top level comment you need a good reason, and this is it, poss…
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/24 02:20 AM
1

It's good that you don't think those things are wife privileges. I guess I don't see why you think cohabitation is a wife privilege then because it doesn't logically imply those other things. edit: over and above living separately, that is.
/r/RedPillWomen10/04/24 11:02 PM
3

u/SunshineSundress addressed this in https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/qh9xsa/why_buy_the_cow_when_he_can_get_the_milk_for_free/ And it is the same logic I use in my main comment.
/r/RedPillWomen09/04/24 12:27 AM
8

Disclaimer, we're cohabiting now, and I'm not married. That said I've never been very interested in marriage and never expressed a strong desire for it. In one previous relationship I even shut down discussions of it because I felt like he was only bringing it up because his mother suggested it. Despite that we were happy until he died. I think the success of a relationship is not determined by whether you move in or not. Withholding commitment is unlikely to inspire it. Moving in does entangle …
/r/RedPillWomen09/04/24 12:10 AM
12

Control imo. His words to you when you ended things made that obvious (from your first post). The ways in which he is reaching out are too casual, like he's trying to slide back in, not apologise, to be regret. Block. This is very creepy and stalkerish behaviour on his part. Is it possible you are afraid of him? Which is fine, I would be too because he seems so determined after you conclusively ended things. In which case don't mistake fear for attraction.
/r/RedPillWomen07/04/24 11:03 PM
9

If you reach out to him with the intention of getting back together you would be in the position of the one grovelling for forgiveness because you're the one that broke up and you're the one that wants to get back together. Just so you understand what you're actually proposing in your last paragraph... In terms of keeping the relationship alive at least for the first month or so back together you're the one that would have to put in 150% and he would probably put in 50%. Just a heads up. right n…
/r/RedPillWomen07/04/24 12:03 AM
18

In my opinion, you were correct in diagnosing that his lack of future talk was a bad sign. If a man is truly excited about the future with you, why would he want to delay that to do other things? The answer to that question comes from one of your own comments - you put restrictions on what he could do inside his own home - like not having all day gaming parties with his friends. this includes even sitting on the couch with friends playing video games). I've definitely made it clear before I woul…
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/24 11:24 PM
21

Yeah ok he did a number on your head. If you haven't blocked him yet please do. Redpill forums for men, I'm sorry to say, have a vested interested in ... normalising age gap relationships in a way that isn't really ok. I'm in an age gap relationship but it's not something I was going for and tbh it doesn't feel like an age gap relationship. We feel like we're on the same level even if we did start out as mentor/mentee. He taught me what he knew and now he consults me just as much as I consult hi…
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/24 03:08 AM
20

When there's such a large age and experience gap, you don't know what you don't know. It's easiest to vet someone your own age because you know what is reasonably expected of you and your peers and can judge them against that. Unless you know a lot of 30s men to judge them against, you don't know if the reason he seems impressive is just because of that age/status gap or because he actually is outstanding amongst his peers. I think it's fair to say we all want a man that stands out among his pee…
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/24 02:31 AM
2

I think both women and men are prone to projection, ie assuming that the other side is attracted to the same things they are. It is likely he has little experience with women and assumes that just because he would like to get 20 compliments a date, you must too! This is an article that goes into this and what men think women want and what women think men want. An excerpt: Men believe that women like... Physically attractive men (pretty boys). Nice guys. Men that have no hair on their bodies. Sen…
/r/RedPillWomen31/03/24 09:22 AM
8

I feel you. My partner has a preference for us both sleeping naked and I put my layers on in winter. He always comments on it XD but I think he dislikes all clothes in bed, even cute ones. If you want to try cut down the number/thickness of layers I would recommend 100% wool thermals - wool leggings and a wool top make winter much nicer for me. I put them on underneath other layers and wear them to bed, they're not bulky, only problem is the bugs chew them up in storage.
/r/RedPillWomen29/03/24 09:05 PM
5

Dinner doesn't have to be freshly made every day. Leftovers are fine. Getting takeout is okay. Asking him to get takeout is okay too. Readjust your sleep so you always wake up at the earlier time, catching up on sleep debt throughout the week is no fun. I wake up early no matter what I have on and get a whole 2 hours to myself in the morning most days. I don't know how you commute - by car or public transport, but that 45 min can be your decompression time. You shouldn't be worrying about it or …
/r/RedPillWomen28/03/24 09:22 PM
3

"But at the same time" what exactly?
/r/RedPillWomen28/03/24 10:39 AM
1

What happened before the "ok, this is too much"? Sounds like it was more than you just taking too long to answer.
/r/RedPillWomen28/03/24 09:20 AM
16

Typically someone links The Art of The Bad Excuse and today, that someone is me. If there's a guy you're interested in, fabricate a bad reason to talk to him and see if he is excited to talk to you. I do think guys are less keen to approach than before but this method gets around that.
/r/RedPillWomen25/03/24 06:23 AM
13

Edit: it depends on what you're paying in rent/shelter costs now. If you are living at home paying zero rent then this is a massive change for you. You would probably be within your rights to not move in and stay at home because of the rent cost alone. If you were previously living in a $500/month share house then again that is a huge jump up, consider not moving in if you'd rather keep the savings while you two stay in a relationship. Share houses are much cheaper than studios because of the pr…
/r/RedPillWomen22/03/24 11:54 PM
182

Financially you're better off than living alone so I don't think he's taking **financial** advantage of you. As long as you get the same rights a tenant would in any rental. However, your parents may be concerned he is taking **emotional** advantage of you. How old are you and what are your relationship goals?
/r/RedPillWomen22/03/24 11:24 PM
9

There's two ways to make change, you need motivation, and motivation comes in the form of carrot or stick. Either you need something so unimaginably good that you can look forward to, or something so horribly bad that you want to avoid, or both. If your stick isn't big enough then it won't work, and if your carrot isn't big enough it won't work either. Set some goals that mean something to you. Write down the bad things in your past or foreseeable future you want to avoid. If you can trick or ma…
/r/RedPillWomen22/03/24 11:19 PM
5

I would just avoid the common areas and leave C's messes for her. Yes it impacts you as well if you like a clean home but that is not going to be a reality no matter how much cleaning you do, so stop doing it. If she leaves rubbish in places or on things you need to use just sweep it to the side or move it so you can do what you need to do. Segregate the fridge, so each person has a separate area in the fridge and just separate what is your problem vs not your problem. Eg common area, not your m…
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/24 01:01 AM
4

Yessss. Quasi-feminist statement incoming: there should not be any shame in being a woman. If AWALT or even M(ost)WALT then why is it a bad thing? Being dependent on others for validation is not a problem if you work hard to bring value to their lives and they reciprocate. It is a problem if something terrible happens (your relationship fails, your SO dies, or you two are separated for whatever reason). But I've been through those crises and survived. It's also not that different to failing at w…
/r/RedPillWomen20/03/24 04:45 AM
4

I am fully in favour of promoting proper spelling, grammar, and diction over SMV as a self improvement goal after this comment thread.
/r/RedPillWomen19/03/24 09:48 PM
16

This wasn't what I found. I was very MPDG in my youth and the flipside of the hyperactive personality was regularly bursting into tears. The boys I dated didn't mind that and were well aware of it. They tried to console me and had a "I can fix her" attitude. I think extreme vulnerability plays into the MPDG stereotype.
/r/RedPillWomen19/03/24 09:32 PM
14

I would say it's an honest social critique. It's a trope that is found in the real world. Whether art imitates life or life imitates art I can't say for sure but women like this exist. I was a very stereotypical MPDG especially in my teenage/early 20s. I did consume a lot of manganime in my formative years and behaved and dressed like some of those characters. In my youth I did take on "projects" and try to improve the men I was with. I played into that trope before I knew it was a thing, and af…
/r/RedPillWomen19/03/24 09:24 PM
2

Be more intentional about it. Next time you're struggling with something make it a goal to ask for help. If he ever offers to help say yes even if you don't need help. While he helps you out focus on the appropriate way to thank him for it as that takes some mental capacity too. Just redirect your efforts into building the relationship dynamic you want. It doesn't mean becoming passive (until it feels natural, which it won't for a while) as you will need to be actively engaged in rewiring the wa…
/r/RedPillWomen16/03/24 02:20 AM
10

I distinctly remember a conversation I had with my first boyfriend, with whom I was (eventually) on again off again. I was determined to make the relationship with him work in spite of everything. He was talking about how much he cared about me in his usual edgy way - "I would kill X hobos for you". It was this American Psycho thing our friend group was into at the time. Teenagers We were idiots. But on with our story. After making this declaration he asked me, "do you trust me?" And I said No. …
/r/RedPillWomen12/03/24 09:02 PM
8

On second thoughts it seems this relationship has only been going for 7 months. And they're engaged. That's a very short time to vet a man in an LDR. It is possible he does this a lot and she doesn't know...
/r/RedPillWomen11/03/24 08:59 PM
22

Staying up late drinking then waking up in the afternoon and nursing a hangover until the evening is... Kinda boyish. That said if it's his first big party thing in a while, it's very possible he underestimated the effects of drinking on his body. In my early 20s I could get away with late nights and semi function the next day, but by the mid to late 20s I really couldn't anymore. Perhaps this is his first realisation that you can't push the body to its limits anymore. The wives thing I interpre…
/r/RedPillWomen11/03/24 01:17 PM
1

Ah ok.
/r/RedPillWomen10/03/24 11:54 PM
10

We have Submission as Strategy Incremental Reciprocation Practicing Vulnerability
/r/RedPillWomen10/03/24 11:52 PM
19

They should... But only if they have good feelings about you and feel like you are vulnerable and dependent on them. If you're not being submissive or playing power games or being aloof (which is what the "quiet confidence" makes me think) then they'll still be in game/power play mode and won't be in protect & care mode.
/r/RedPillWomen10/03/24 11:37 PM
2

What is your dating history exactly? You switch from plural "guys" to singular "he". How long were the relationships you were in and were you seeing multiple guys at a time?
/r/RedPillWomen10/03/24 11:30 PM
2

I understand from your other comments that it was a cultural disrespect. I thought your father would be the likeliest person to get a genuine answer from him and that conversation would be better private, not public. Because that would be a man to man conversation and both men would have respect for each other. However knowing that he disrespects your father's culture means this approach won't work well. Also if you don't trust your father's judgement this approach won't work well. There is reas…
/r/RedPillWomen08/03/24 04:10 AM
10

This along with some hurtful comments he has said to me was the reason me and my mother where there. What were the hurtful comments bad enough that your mother felt a need for a dual family intervention? Where was your father, why didn't he come? What are his opinions on the matter?
/r/RedPillWomen06/03/24 08:50 PM
38

It's not a good sign that he didn't give you targeted feedback. If you're asking for feedback in a genuine manner he should be able to give it to you. I would try pushing back and saying "I can't improve if I don't know what I'm doing wrong". And seeing what he says.
/r/RedPillWomen06/03/24 05:22 AM
8

A lot of people have said this will ruin you but they're not exactly specific. I made a list and wanted to address the new country situation and how that doesn't really change anything. The guys that are able to P&D don't beta orbit. So your target demographic is exclusive of anyone able to P&D. 1b. The guys you use might become disenchanted by women, believing them all to be incapable of affection or companionship, and become P&Ders themselves, thus perpetuating the cycle. I met a girl on a nig…
/r/RedPillWomen03/03/24 11:35 PM
1

Ok, do you know why you were looking for a reason to break up in all your previous relationships? If you are self sabotaging then you need to get to the root of that, perhaps in therapy. Your subconscious may still be trying to self sabotage in this relationship as well, as it's not so easy to break these counter intuitive habits consciously. Because they normally serve a self protective purpose. But otherwise it sounds like you and this guy are very compatible outside the sex thing and your vet…
/r/RedPillWomen03/03/24 04:01 AM
2

I typed out a whole different response but never posted it and now I've decided to change the entire thing. I'm going to poke the elephant in the room. It may be that he fully intends to marry you logically but emotionally he just can't convince himself to do it. His logical mind is "yes she suits me perfectly" but his emotional mind is "I don't want to". I think you know where I'm going with this. He has always accepted and supported my choice to be a sex worker recent shoots with other male pe…
/r/RedPillWomen03/03/24 12:10 AM
2

> When I got into this relationship, I promised myself I'd see it through whatever issues that would arise. ​ Can you please tell us why you decided this at the start of this relationship? What made this guy so unique? Regarding your coworker. What's he got that's drawing your eye, or is just sexual desire?
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/24 11:42 PM
2

What I would actually advise in general is matching his level of investment. If he won't drive to see you, you don't drive to see him. I think we both suspect that this effectively kills the relationship though. Up to you if holding onto what you have is worth holding out for until you lose weight for a chance at a more equitable relationship. Edit: Incremental reciprocation is the strategy I mentioned.
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/24 11:25 PM
5

It could be that your SMV is just too low for him. You act as if your small tits, ass and personality are constants but they're not. Your butt can get bigger/more shapely with exercise. And decreasing your waist-to-hip ratio could make even small breasts and ass look enviable. You just need to put in the work rather than applying the sunk cost fallacy to a situationship. If he treats you better after you get in shape, great! Your relationship improves after you put in the work. If he doesn't, yo…
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/24 05:58 AM
2

How long have you two been together and how old are the two of you?
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/24 09:09 PM
1

I was merely pointing out that in your specific case, outcome independence is facilitated by both non monogamous lifestyle game mastery (the flair!) A lack of either could cause you to be very outcome dependent, and a woman looking at your example needs to be aware of these. Not arguing that most men aren't non monogamous. But the article would still apply to non monogamous men without mastery of game.
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/24 12:06 AM
2

Well let's be honest - your level of "liking" a girl is still not enough for exclusivity! So it kinda holds true. Of course confidence varies by person. So even if you were exclusive with someone - I imagine your level of confidence would be much higher on first meeting than a pimply 17 year olds.
/r/RedPillWomen27/02/24 12:19 AM
10

TRR is my fave "why are men men" resource. On desktop there's a master post list with hours of reading. Enjoy!
/r/RedPillWomen26/02/24 02:32 AM
28

Men work their way down. They start with the hottest girl (that they think they can get), ask her out, get rejected, then the next hottest girl, ask her out, get rejected, repeat, until they don't get rejected anymore. Some men never work up the courage to ask anyone out. Some men give up after 3 rejections and some have hundreds and are still going. Some men rely on their charm and wit rather than looks, or hope to impress you over the course of a longer conversation which might never happen. C…
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/24 11:29 PM
1

Sure. But I do think there's a lot of self talk that goes into alpha widowhood. It's kind of a romantic notion - like being Juliet to some Romeo. Actually committing suicide for love sounds good but it's a terrible idea in practice. Same with pining for "the one that got away" for the rest of your life. I think at least part of alpha widowhood is women not wanting to move on or not wanting to admit to themselves it is ok to move on and partly using their preferences (that naturally developed in …
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/24 09:06 AM
4

When your "guy friends" look visibly irritated, it is most likely a response to something you just said. So ... What was it? Can you remember?
/r/RedPillWomen23/02/24 09:45 PM
5

They don't have to be, they're fashion subs. Go there for fashion content and come here for red pill content.
/r/RedPillWomen23/02/24 12:16 PM
2

Mmm, there's a lot of complexity here, including the point that women generally change themselves in a relationship to suit their partner. When that relationship ends unexpectedly or without her desire to end it, she has to undo everything that made her a good/loving woman for him. That takes time and all of this is quite subconscious, and she may not even realise how much of her personality or preferences were reactions to who she is with.
/r/RedPillWomen21/02/24 06:30 AM
6

My personal interpretation of alpha widowhood is very similar but the wiki definition makes it sound like a woman can never change her mind about what she wants XD which, surely is our right, being the inconsistent, irrational (/s) creatures we are.
/r/RedPillWomen21/02/24 01:30 AM
2

actually far more difficult to do that because the pool is that much smaller I know, and I don't say it lightly. I know that dreadful "how will I ever start again and find someone new" feeling, because I knew myself, I knew I was so... Different from others... and while my standards were not entitled, they excluded probably 95+% of the population. That was back in 2020. I was in a similar position as you - accomplished to a certain level which could not only intimidate men below that, but also c…
/r/RedPillWomen19/02/24 02:09 AM
20

I have a suspicion about what's going on but it depends on what you've tried in the past, it could invalidate a lot of this. Men want to be needed, and they want to feel like a hero in their relationship. If they sense that you don't need them or don't see them as a hero they will probably bail and find a relationship where they can feel like that. A lot of married women have a story they tell at dinner which goes something like... "And that's when I knew [husband] was the right one for me!" Pre…
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/24 02:10 AM
6

I think it's different when two people meet for the first time vs when they've been in a stable relationship for a long time. You two have a much bigger base for trust and admiration - but the men OP meets probably feel a lot of pressure to earn her admiration and can't get there in time. Her being attracted to their sex appeal or her saying "I like you" just isn't enough because if he's older than 30 he realises it takes more to make a relationship work. In a crisis or a tough spot he has to be…
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/24 01:17 AM
–

Whoops, my bad! Thank you for telling me. I've updated the link in the text as well... I guess this post will remain a monument to my tech fail and a tribute to TRR.
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/24 05:17 AM
6

From your previous posts I know that you are 19 - what are your relationship goals and what is your timeline for them? Asking about sagging breasts is off topic in your situation because this will not help you find a date as a 19 year old and you won't even know if it makes any difference to your relationship until you are in one and the inevitable happens. By the time your breasts start sagging you will be past the prime dating age. You need to worry about other things before that happens. I th…
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/24 04:30 AM
2

I thought the same - women are hypergamous. Attractive men tend to have a high N count because they will have more sexual offers, but the same will not be true for women, because they are gatekeepers of sex and will reject all but one of the offers they get. The only way they would rack up a high N count is if they were also low in loyalty or significantly lower RMV than the man. We could theories something about high attractiveness and low RMV but it would be rightfully dismissed as cope :P I w…
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/24 10:01 AM
15

Yes, friendlier will make a big difference! Being open to interaction, smiling, making eye contact, will all make a big difference in whether you are approached. I once got approached simply because I yielded to others in getting off a bus. You know when everyone's in a rush to get off - and you allow people who are behind you to exit first. Common courtesies, done with a smile, are like a big green flag for men around you. Looking down, crossing your arms, having earphones in, not looking peopl…
/r/RedPillWomen14/02/24 11:18 PM
12

"Attractive women tend to have a massive body count". How do you figure?
/r/RedPillWomen14/02/24 11:14 PM
7

Does his company ever have events where they invite family or plus ones? If it's the kind of company where they have retreats with free alcohol very likely they also have plus one events. Just wait for the next one, meet her in person, gauge their level of familiarity, butter him up the whole night, and see for yourself what's going on. It's likely you've exaggerated her interest in him in your mind and/or his interest in her.
/r/RedPillWomen14/02/24 05:09 AM
1

I'm not justifying violence. In fact I'm going to far as saying that (minor) violence itself is not a justification for (a further escalation of) violence. What you're saying I'm saying makes no sense to me. That's not to say that I don't appreciate you trying to get to the bottom of things. I've been known to do the same myself.
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 11:16 PM
1

If a man hits a woman with his full power knowing of the strength and size difference, I'll trust him less. That's my gut instinct, I can't do anything about that. A woman can punch a man and do next to no damage. Throwing things or using weapons is different but in most hand to hand combat scenarios the man can easily take a woman's blows with no damage to himself. Case by case of course.
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 09:44 PM
3

Unconditional love is not what men get out of relationships with women. Women want to be loved and men want to be respected. Yes love is conditional but assuming that no one commits a crime, it's fair to say that most women want love that is mostly unconditional, and men want respect that is mostly unconditional. He does not say "you look gorgeous no matter what you do." He does not say "you look just as good as the day I met you, there's not a thing about you I would change." He will likely nev…
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 09:00 PM
2

I think you should try escalating the tone of your mutterings to more flirtatious and/or personal matters. You still don't know anything about him, but working with someone is a perfect way of getting to know them, vetting them, etc. ​ What benefit does going on a date actually give you? You would still have to try to break him out of his shy shell, ask him questions about himself, tell him about you. I don't know what your work is like but surely there are lunch breaks where you could sit toget…
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 10:40 AM
4

Look, I'm not attacking your post, just qualifying which relationships it would probably not work for. I'm a theory nerd and can't help but to challenge assumptions. Anyway, onto the rest of it. You seem to agree with me that this is about changing men as you wrote: > competitive ones will hopefully try beat their positive score in the future! Whether intentional or not, I think everything we do changes people around us. Something like gamification of relationship behaviours would be more direct…
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/24 02:12 AM
11

I think doing this might play into another typically feminine behaviour, ie mistaking what we think we are attracted to vs what we are actually attracted to. For example, the idea that him taking out the trash helps me submit to him is nonsense. Someone keeping such a scorecard might also be very bad at distinguishing what she is actually attracted to. Several TRP theories underscore the fact that women are not good at distinguishing what attracts them, and often make a man less attractive to th…
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/24 01:36 AM
2

How long have you two been together, what are your ages, and how long have you been implementing this strategy of always agreeing?
/r/RedPillWomen11/02/24 10:04 AM
3

The practical stuff will work itself out if you set a goal and start living in a way that reflects who you want to be. That may mean getting into study or working a regular wage job. You'll have to learn to save money and budget and do all those things - there's plenty of videos on YT for budgeting so if you want to, you can learn. This part will be tough but it's all about routine and discipline. One of the things which is probably blocking you right now from even wanting to get there is the fe…
/r/RedPillWomen11/02/24 12:29 AM
9

N count doesn't stop you from being the best woman in his life. It has no impact on you being supportive of him, giving him a soft place to land, respecting him, admiring him, being sexually generous, or high SMV. Be the best girlfriend/wife he can get and your body count will be eclipsed by your positive traits.If you are still worried, read the sidebar on N Count and You, and the Buy Matching Luggage post. You don't have to feel bad about your own N count if his past is similar to yours, or if…
/r/RedPillWomen10/02/24 02:04 AM
1

Wow. Where the hell do these OPs find these winners.
/r/RedPillWomen10/02/24 01:28 AM
1

I'm really curious what the response was now.
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/24 11:23 PM
19

If he's a dominant man... Why wasn't he driving the car?
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/24 10:22 AM
5

I think the sharing your experience approach is the best one, but don't assume they will be interested in finding out more and don't think they will be teachable, because they won't. Right now they don't have any explanation for your change in behaviour and they're making one up to explain it. I think you need to replace that bad narrative with a good narrative - ie "I realised he hated it when I joked about X and Y, so I stopped because I didn't want my marriage to suffer. Then he started doing…
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/24 10:50 PM
2

Based on your selfie from a previous post, you're not ugly. But RBF, lack of social skill/charm, introversion, misanthropy/misandry, and lack of effort/knowledge about doing your hair, fashion, makeup, could all be contributing factors. Like you kinda have to try before you give up. Look into getting better style and taking care of your appearance. Smile and assume the best in people you meet. Become socially graceful, fun, and charming. I think this will all go a very long way.
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/24 05:32 AM
1

Yeah... I mean you know them best. If you're actually afraid they'll hurt you, the police would be an option. I don't want to say "do this" or "do that" because it's not my life or my consequences. But be prepared that if you do find a man - he may have his own ideas about what to do about them. He will likely want to protect you from them if he's a good, strong man.
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/24 01:35 AM
2

So... You are actually the more powerful one in the relationship, financially. I was wondering about that. Have you considered cutting them off like your brothers did, or just sending them an allowance and washing your hands of them?
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/24 01:20 AM
1

If they don't care about isolating themselves why do they care so much about what you do?
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/24 12:55 AM
2

I didn't want to come off overly accusatory but I think what you're saying in your top level comment is spot on.
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/24 09:39 PM
1

I agree with you. If you're going to be holding the reins you need to deal with the issues head on.
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/24 09:35 PM
0

It wasn't a shit test because it had a straightforward "pass" condition. It was a comfort test. He failed it.
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/24 09:32 PM
2

I think it's an attempt at using reverse psychology on themselves.
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/24 11:22 AM
11

This is weird. They do realise that if they cut you off, none of their children will be there for them in their old age? Dying alone is really scary. They should be worrying about keeping you happy not the other way around. Don't let them mask over this basic fact. Start a conversation about plans for care in old age with them.
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/24 03:18 AM
1

I'd like to weigh in here because it's not true that both SMV and RMV decrease as a woman ages. To commit to a woman, a man is looking for both. It's even true that a woman's SMV peak can be after her 20s if she didn't take care of her looks when she was 20-29. The idea that a 20 yo is always hotter than a 50yo is only true if the man doesn't know her or her RMV... And if you read the chapter "Men are Visual" from For Women Only you'll see that men have no emotional attachment to these sexy imag…
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/24 01:46 AM
21

Well... Firstly RP is just knowledge, it's not a lifestyle. You can hold the knowledge in your head and never say the words "red pill" and be no worse off. Secondly, everyone has to go against the grain at some point. My values don't align exactly with my family's and I think that's not unique to black people, pretty much everyone can say that to one degree or another. Eventually you have to put your values into practice and find the courage to make your own way in life, rather than going along …
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/24 05:17 AM
1

I've always enjoyed Stefan Molyneux, but ever since he got banned by big tech he's been harder to get into for new listeners. He speaks on a wide range of topics all under the broad umbrella of philosophy. He has the best "Dad" takes imo.
/r/RedPillWomen04/02/24 09:36 PM
2

RP isn't values though, it's not a checklist or a lifestyle. There is such a thing as redpill knowledge but no such thing as redpill lifestyle. Checklist or Toolbox
/r/RedPillWomen04/02/24 09:32 PM
8

Can you please explain how it's destroying your life? I am reminded of this post by Whisper, Don't Fall For Natural. Are you currently single, dating, married? That will really change the advice you get. If you are masculine because of a job you have to do or because of your living situation, finding a new job or moving out would be possibilities. If you are argumentative around toxic family members but sweet overall, then the problem is the family members, not you, and the solution would be to …
/r/RedPillWomen04/02/24 09:25 PM
12

I would say, don't be stubborn, try yielding, and be open to trying it his way. Women often get more anxious than men do and as you said in your last post, try to be helpful, with good intentions, but with the exact opposite of the desired effects. If you're doing something with him for the first time, give him a chance to try his way first. If it doesn't work out then you can both come up with a new strategy together. But coming in with the "definite answer" and not being open to trying his way…
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/24 11:42 PM
3

Fair enough. The rest of my points still hold though.
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/24 04:30 AM
5

I'm not talking so much about a cure. I mean any way of managing it. Your meltdowns have triggers, correct? Identifying triggers, letting people around you know what they are so they can help you, avoiding or minimising the triggers to reduce the frequency of meltdowns, delaying the meltdown until you're alone or in a safe space, or delaying it long enough to warn someone that can help you to come, for example. Sorry about your loss. I went through the death of a boyfriend as well but I kind of …
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/24 04:02 AM
7

Hey, I wrote a post on categorising these ick/yay feelings and comparing them to yourself. Generally if you're looking down on or even not looking up to a man he's not the right one for you. From the way you write I can tell the only guy you don't look down on/potentially look up to is 3. He's the only one you noted no negative traits for (I'm assuming, based on your previous posts that you agree with his politics or at least don't mind them based on a shared hatred of the rich?) Unfortunately, …
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/24 03:48 AM
3

If you are a virgin, these are not questions you should be asking. Part of being young and inexperienced is learning with your first partner - I can't see these discussions benefiting you at all. If I were you I would stay off the sex stuff and get into other topics that contribute to your SMV. Things like r/kibbe r/coloranalysis r/Makeupaddiction or r/skincareaddiction Or whatever the hip new subs for those interests are nowadays... Get some girly interests.
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/24 10:36 PM
6

Definitely don't settle for one of the guys that make you feel dirty! Ew! It's very hard to really tell what a man is like off a few dates. Are you currently in college or university or work, what are the men around you like, how are you meeting them?
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 07:47 AM
3

I am always distrusting of men who have hit women, because I met a man (friend of a friend, not an ex or romantic interest) who admitted to hitting his ex, said he was better now, said he only initiated violence once when his ex cheated on him and the other times were self defense, that she threw wooden drawers at his head, and I totally believed him. I'm sure all that did happen, and I still believe that. What I stopped believing was that he got better because I saw him joking around, holding a…
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/24 01:41 AM
9

It doesn't sound like he's changed at all. Their sex frequency has halved from once a day to once every 2 days. This would make high libido people feel like they want it more often than they actually do. Like if he actually got daily sex he wouldn't be thinking "gee I'd really like to have sex right about now" 3x a day because he'd still be sated.
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/24 09:25 AM
4

Set yourself some simple goals like talking to one classmate a weekday, bonus points if you make a joke or talk about non class stuff. Keep yourself accountable by recording a diary of what went well that day. No need to record what didn't go well - just record the good stuff and you'll see a lot of self improvement and change over weeks and months when you look back.
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/24 03:43 AM
2

In the same way I wouldn't penalise a man for not knowing how to respond to the "do my pants make my butt look fat?" question the first time round, I don't want to penalise OP for not knowing how to respond to the sexless marriage joke. Her refusal to answer yes or no in part 3 is a direct consequence of his behaviour in 2 as well. If someone had thrown a tantrum in the dating stages and asked me if I still loved them, I'd be hedging my answers as well! I think you're right that he's concerned a…
/r/RedPillWomen21/01/24 12:36 AM
2

Some women get fearful/concerned when they see their man not maintaining frame. It sounds like you don't and your dynamic works well because you pick up some of the responsibilities when he comes home.
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/24 04:52 AM
6

Awesome write-up, thank you for this!!! I will add my thoughts about any relevant theory that could explain what you're noticing. I have a similar relationship with my partner - he really adores me and I lap it up! I used to feel guilty and felt some kind of way about it being too "beta" but honestly, if he wants to be affectionate with me and I love it, then why not? I had this idea that my guy had to be this kind of stiff upper lip alpha guy, but reality is always more complex. I've still neve…
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/24 03:22 AM
9

You talk a lot about your plans but what are his plans? Does he even have any? You can judge his ambition based on the plans he makes. You can judge his reliability and responsibility based on how well he carries out his plans. You can judge his resilience based on how well he adapts his plans or actions to changes in his environment. If he isn't making plans, isn't progressing towards his plans, isn't adapting his plans or effort based on setbacks he's encountered, well that tells you what kind…
/r/RedPillWomen19/01/24 05:09 AM
2

Stop engaging with media or people that tell you to maximise your looks. Do you spend a lot of time around other women and feel a lot of pressure to 'compete' or keep up? Or do you watch a lot of beauty related content and media? These are choices you made and values you keep, not something that was forced on you by society at large. You can spend more time with friends who have a more relaxed style, older women perhaps. Other women are much more observant about looks than men will ever be. Find…
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/24 04:45 AM
2

Go for it!
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/24 11:29 PM
21

I would suggest you talk favourably about your husband around this man. Things like "my husband surprised me with X this weekend/last anniversary /birthday! I love him so much!" Or "This weekend my husband and I did X, we had so much fun!" It serves two important purposes (three if you count secondary effects). One is to remind yourself you are a married woman and that the grass isn't always greener on the other side. I've had so many crushes (some long term ones) only to find out the guy I was …
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/24 06:14 AM
9

This reads completely innocuously to me. She prepares lunch because she is the one who is in charge of food at home. They eat separately because they don't want to be unprofessional at work, but they enjoy their banter because it's fun. She is an extrovert or somebody who wants to do activities outside the home and he is an introvert or a homebody. Imo there's nothing going on here. Behind closed doors it is very likely that he has a softer side that doesn't come out at work. Some men aren't rai…
/r/RedPillWomen06/01/24 12:52 AM
3

I am happy to hear that he isn't actually telling you that. Every content creator has a backstory and an intended audience. If their intended audience is lonely young men it's less likely that it'll be any use to you. They may speak disparaginglv about certain demographics of women because they want those young men to become less simpy. Then they slowly raise the standards until no woman is good enough in a bid to make the men less dependent on women's validation. It may sound bad but it is poss…
/r/RedPillWomen28/12/23 07:26 AM
4

Yeah no worries it's not a crime to not have read the reading material. Sometimes it's good to have someone point out what will be most relevant to you. If you are chasing that "being chased" feeling you have to figure out if that is something innate to you or just in this relationship. The dates and attention you are missing are all part of the honeymoon phase which does end after a year or so in any relationship. Some people's goes on forever but you can't depend on that. Eg if you leave this …
/r/RedPillWomen28/12/23 06:31 AM
14

Can you please explain what is the life you want to live now, and what are your long term goals? If neither your short term nor long term goals align with his it doesn't really matter what anyone says or how RP you are, you two are not compatible, and the relationship will not work. Also you're 20. Please read the Getting Started with RPW and the section about the wall crushing you. The longtime lurkers and contributors here will laugh you out of the room if you think 20 is old. It is very young…
/r/RedPillWomen28/12/23 05:53 AM
2

Obviously the woman has to take an interest in what matters to men and how to make her man happy. An entitled, transactional woman is an entitled, transactional woman, low N count or not, as you say.
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/23 03:44 PM
5

If thou be'st born to strange sights, Things invisible to see, Ride ten thousand days and nights, Till age snow white hairs on thee, Thou, when thou return'st, wilt tell me, All strange wonders that befell thee, And swear, No where Lives a woman true, and fair. 16th century poetry aside, there really aren't that many social butterfly virgins out there. I have also noticed that among my friends, those that got married virgins have the most... disrespectful relationships? It's not black and white …
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/23 01:40 PM
4

More information needed. How old are you? How frequent are his mood swings? Do they occur at home? What was your reaction to the mood swing and how did he respond?
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/23 04:55 AM
11

The man in question is 30 years old. The level of emotional management you are describing is about right for a moody child. The entire first half of your response is mothering.
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/23 04:52 AM
5

I have always understood that mainline RP believes that the dynamic where the man is less focussed on the woman and more focussed on his mission is ideal. The idea that men should put women first in the relationship is not RP at all. See this recent comment thread where both RedPillDad and youllknowwhenitstime explain in their respective comments.
/r/RedPillWomen22/12/23 07:14 AM
23

Some questions designed to provoke thought and help you decide if this is right for you. Is he from the same culture as you, and do you both live in that culture? Does your family accept him? Do your timelines for children/marriage/cohabitation align? Are you happy with his career status and his earning potential? Does that align with the timelines you have for children/marriage? Eg if you want to be a SAHM does he earn/can he earn enough for that at the time you would like? Does he act like he …
/r/RedPillWomen22/12/23 06:11 AM
22

It takes two to have an argument. According to this post about arguments, you throwing out the chocolate/saying it was gross was the spark, and him getting offended by that was the ignition. Don't create sparks. Why would you throw out something someone brought you in front of their face? At least wait until he left the room, wrap it back up in the wrapper, and put it in the bin. Maybe even put it deeper in the bin just to make extra sure. Don't even mention you threw it out or didn't like it. J…
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/23 08:58 PM
2

Did he explain why he couldn't tell you? Privacy isn't really a reason, there has to be some reason for the privacy.
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/23 01:47 AM
7

Don't worry so much, if fancy restaurants aren't normal for you then ask questions about things you're not sure about, it's something to talk about and most men will be glad to help with it as it makes them look knowledgeable. It's also a good way to vet him for any classism or humourlessness. If you make a faux pas just apologise. It's more important that you two can laugh about it than getting it right in the first place.
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/23 12:07 PM
5

The thing is, you are right, you do have a concrete plan about what to do in your time off, and you also have a structure to it and a plan for future pay off. You also have a reason about why this is more important than med school right now. High stress environments absolutely make mental issues worse. A lot of women even without mental health issues choose to avoid high stress environments anyway. I think you are also right that it bothers him and I think you are right about why. People do chan…
/r/RedPillWomen19/12/23 01:57 AM
4

How did you describe cheating on your previous boyfriend and why did you do it?
/r/RedPillWomen18/12/23 07:48 PM
11

I'm sorry to hear about your mother. That's an awful thing to deal with in your young adulthood. Some men are initially charmed but eventually get turned off of women acting the victim, always needing help, or not being self sufficient. Normally when their own workload or mental load becomes too much for them or when the woman represents a net burden. For example, being soft and vulnerable in everyday situations is good, but it's not good in a situation where action and stoicism is required. For…
/r/RedPillWomen16/12/23 10:00 PM
2

Eh, there have also been studies that say otherwise too.
/r/RedPillWomen15/12/23 01:44 AM
9

I think these folks are saying that what few women there are get preferential treatment, not that the numbers of women applying are sufficient to turn it into a female dominated industry. Eg if 3 women and 15 men apply for 5 internships, 2 women and 3 men will get the positions.
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/23 10:03 PM
11

I think you need to have some tough conversations with him. Right now there's a disconnect between what he's saying and what he's doing. Ask him why he thinks that is, and what his plan is. Start by giving him the benefit of the doubt but if he's not giving you reasonable answers or hiding behind excuses then play devil's advocate. If he's lying/bluffing eventually he won't be able to answer you. And you will both know that he is bluffing even if he tries to deny it. For example when my boyfrien…
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/23 01:10 AM
94

What strikes me is that you are young, and you are bragging about internships which is kinda missing the point. Sounds like neither of you have found a full time position yet, and are still studying? In which case you don't know yet what his work ethic is actually like. I phoned in my entire University degree but took my job seriously. I had a very different mindset between studies and work. I remember my boyfriend at that age talking about life plans. He wanted to work less, ie 4 days/week, rat…
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/23 12:35 AM
5

Genetics doesn't explain why Jackie Chan thinks his son lacks work ethic, or why he dropped out/was expelled (no one is sure which) from his studies. It's not a matter of him not having luck. Work ethic is not about luck nor is dropping out/being expelled nor is being arrested for drugs in a conservative country when your Dad is the Narcotics Control Ambassador for that country. Hard times create strong men, strong men create good times, good times create weak men, weak men create hard times. I …
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/23 02:24 PM
4

Hmmmm... I'll butt in here. You don't think having an absentee father, no matter how many maids he can hire, is a net detriment? Take, for example, Jackie Chan's son. There are so many examples like this. All because his father was never around to be a role model. There are actual charities that provide male father figures to young men because it is recognised that this is a crucial age. Sure your kids will turn out better with Elon Musk as their father than some deadbeat. But whether they will …
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/23 10:47 AM
3

If you're talking about the guys - I think they were concerned for me rather than for him. I don't think they were simps or trying to white knight (for example, I don't think one of them had ever spoken to me before at all). I think they had a very low opinion (turned out to be very correct) of his character.
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/23 08:44 PM
9

There's people here that won't agree with the idea that "men and women can't be friends" but I think everyone will agree with "when a woman rejects a man she can't stay friends with him". You can't be friends with him, he's made that clear. You're just leading him on now.
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/23 01:26 AM
11

After the first conversation you should know that he doesn't take No for an answer and cut him out of your friend group if you don't want this behaviour. Actually men who don't take a clear No for an answer are scary. I once told a man that I didn't see him in that way and he was... Too cool about it? Kept coming around to talk to me, still acted like we were friends which I thought was weird because in the past when I've rejected men they got distant and cold (which is the correct response). Th…
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/23 12:03 AM
8

I think such a reaction is perfectly natural, because women fear that being seen around the wrong men lowers their desirability to preferred mates, but it doesn't really matter that much if its only for a minute. Also you don't have to act on the impulse. Men shoot their shot, relationships wouldn't begin if they didn't. As long as they can take a No it's fine, there's no expectations beyond that single encounter, and it doesn't reflect poorly on you to be approached. A simple "no thank you" wit…
/r/RedPillWomen10/12/23 11:54 PM
5

There's two seperate issues here which are intertwined and the framing of them is misleading and causing both you and others some confusion/misdirection. First is, you are more dominant than your relative. This is fine, it's not a failure on his part and it's not a failure on yours either. I'm not trying to say he's not masculine or you're not feminine. See this theory post on dominance for the background. The point being... The way you approach conflict is fundamentally different. He's not like…
/r/RedPillWomen07/12/23 06:24 AM
1

I'm not a fan of glorifying virginity because it sounds great but what happens when your first relationship doesn't work out? The woman feels worthless and like she has to stay with a man simply because he's her first and she feels like damaged goods. We get girls like that here who are in bad relationships and feel like they have to settle for what they have and I'd rather not promote that as the answer when the advice I'd give to them is "it's fine you can leave". I agree men will wait longer …
/r/RedPillWomen05/12/23 10:28 PM
5

Whether it's malicious or manipulative or just clueless I can't say. But whether it's deliberate or not he's still getting the benefits as if it were. I.e., he doesn't have to be truthful, apologetic or accommodating about the backtrack. OP should be at the very least looking for those things from him and talking about the situation from that frame. He's the one changing the relationship and he needs to be the one to offer a suitable solution that makes both parties happy. That needs to be commu…
/r/RedPillWomen03/12/23 11:47 PM
7

Agree the "let" in the title is the wrong phrasing. But it partly comes from his phrasing and the way he is putting this on her. Eg he could have just told her he is no longer ok with those boundaries/this relationship structure and let her decide what her response was. If he puts it that way, it's clear that she doesn't control him but she does control her own response to him. Instead he is pressuring her to say "okay" to it every time they see each other so it appears like she has control of h…
/r/RedPillWomen03/12/23 10:58 PM
2

a study plan to cover all the topics but he has not followed it I think you have already done enough... He probably feels emasculated because you did better than him, and you pushing him out of bed/putting together a study plan is making things worse rather than better. I think if you continue to try and manage him he will continue to be depressed/unmotivated as you are his girlfriend who is supposed to look up to him, but you're mothering him and he's failing which is a double whammy right now.…
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/23 10:10 AM
10

I think we need concrete examples. Eg one of these instances. What did you say, what did he say, what was the context, etc.
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/23 08:30 AM
2

The longer you make a man wait the more attached he becomes? I don't think so. Men either like you or they don't. Waiting/having sex/not having sex doesn't really affect it unless he is actively looking for women that "withhold". Most importantly no man wants to be the one she withholds herself from... but he does want to be the one she withholds herself for.
/r/RedPillWomen01/12/23 04:41 AM
–

Generally that's true. But I've seen exceptions, IRL and here. As long as the man has something the woman admires/respects then it can work. Eg I've seen women write about relationships where they were the breadwinner or the one with higher IQ. Not common but happens. It's just that for women intelligence is often a trigger for admiration and respect. We can work with women's perception of men being skewed. It gives us loopholes to exploit. Like the third of men who aren't that popular with wome…
/r/RedPillWomen28/11/23 09:42 PM
8

Open ended questions are a great idea!
/r/RedPillWomen28/11/23 07:52 AM
11

Then take the pressure off the guy. As long as he wants kids at roughly the same timeframe you do, has traditional values, believes in mothers being with the children, and wants a serious relationship I don't think it's necessary to lead with kids and marriage. That can put undue pressure on the relationship and make him feel like a means to an end.
/r/RedPillWomen28/11/23 04:07 AM
29

It depends on how quickly you want these things. Most men in the 22-30yo range are not thinking about marriage or kids, redpill or not, passport bro or not. They just want companionship and the joy of a relationship not the added stress/burden of looking after a family just yet. Men around 30-35 are probably thinking about kids, but only after 2 years of knowing you/a committed relationship. Are you giving men the impression you want these things straight away? How long are you willing to wait?
/r/RedPillWomen28/11/23 01:59 AM
1

Average was probably the wrong word - in your original comment you divided men into "average" and "has many options" so I made the case for guys with not that many options.
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/23 08:25 PM
1

Obviously there had to be something special about a man to make a woman like him. But when you put aside looks, it is very likely that what any one individual woman likes about a man is not going to be the same as what other women will like. So there is less competition for that individual man. If you exclude the top 20% that every woman likes, then exclude the bottom 50%, that still leaves a third of the population for whom there is no competition.
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/23 11:00 AM
3

We live and learn, right? Thank you.
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/23 05:21 AM
8

We were on/off. We went to high school together and got together when I was 16, at this point it was a closed relationship. I was pretty neurotic and rarely reasonable. Had a tough environment at home too which didn't help. When I was 17 we both left our hometown for University and he unceremoniously dumped me. From then he would call me when he was lonely/drunk, and I doted on his every word because he was my first and I had my heart set on making it work with him. We'd both go back to our home…
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/23 01:02 AM
2

I'm not a fan of the implication that women can't be happy with an average guy. There are some ambitious women who wouldn't be but you can normally spot them in an OP. I don't think OP is one and I don't think the average woman or the average RPW is one either. It's not true that women can't be happy with average guys. They can. However, what is true is that women tend to overlook most men at first, and still fall head over heels for them later. All of my relationships thus far have started this…
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/23 09:21 PM
10

Yeah I've had a relationship with a man like this. Ended up in an open relationship where no one was happy. I was extremely relieved and overjoyed when I could monkey branch to a guy that didn't believe any of that and wanted me for himself.
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/23 09:03 PM
14

I'm not sure why you think things were going well if he wasn't opening up to you. If someone is hesitant to open up to you it's not necessarily a red flag but it is a yellow flag to go slow and indicates some problem or incompatibility. If he is resistant after a normal amount of time then it becomes a red flag. I think you need to redefine what "going well" is.
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/23 07:00 AM
24

To me, he actually came across quite secretive and even defensive when I would try to really get to know him This line indicates to me that you're not "nexting" guys in the early stage when incompatibilities come up. Him being closed off indicates he didn't want a relationship with you, or maybe didn't want a relationship at all. You can't progress with a guy that won't tell you about himself. Maybe there are girl game supergeniuses out there who could get these guys as a boyfriend/LTR but the r…
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/23 05:36 AM
6

Sorry about commenting so many times, but the following quote from your OP supports Sunshine's point. He seemed rather unsure or embarrassed as he was talking about this Because you crossed the line from platonic talk to flirting. My definition of flirting is not at all frivolous like the definitions you've quoted. They do not encompass the full spectrum of flirting behaviours. The best definition of flirting I've ever heard was "talking to someone in a way that makes them feel like you are inte…
/r/RedPillWomen24/11/23 11:34 AM
3

Some men are a little prone to overcorrecting when it comes to their idea of masculinity. I've heard a very masculine man saying that he preferred to let his wife handle the spiders XD Men are individuals too. Some men think long hair is effeminate, some don't. I think your friend has a chip on his shoulder and is trying very hard to live up to an ideal of masculinity that may not be achievable or sustainable long term. I, personally love cuddling, it's just the best. My man loves it too, as muc…
/r/RedPillWomen24/11/23 11:01 AM
4

Him not wanting to marry you (even if he was telling the truth - which he may not have been) is not the same as him not being into you, either romantically or sexually.
/r/RedPillWomen24/11/23 10:30 AM
42

Can you describe what happened with the fine?
/r/RedPillWomen21/11/23 07:50 PM
1

Why do you assume ugliness is the issue? Have you tried to make small talk with them?
/r/RedPillWomen21/11/23 10:59 AM
7

Regardless of who was in the wrong/right in their marriage I think your point of men needing belief in their capabilities stands. Regardless of how good or bad he is at fixing things, treating a man like that will always make him sad. Whether the sadness is worth the professionally fixed door, I don't know, but it's certainly a good reminder as a woman to pick your battles!! From a purely amoral perspective, mastering these sorts of interactions is a powerful skill. You never know when you'll ne…
/r/RedPillWomen17/11/23 12:40 PM
1

Uh no I haven't!! But the 3-6 months they said was vastly understated, try 12-16 months. And I got much heavier periods with big clots and 2-4 days spotting before the period, plus I now experience cramping, worse at the start. I used to never get cramps at all really so that was new. If say whatever your natural level of cramps, flow, spotting was before, expect it to increase and stay increased on the copper IUD. I now don't supplement and it's been around... 2-2.5 years. If it doesn't work fo…
/r/RedPillWomen16/11/23 09:16 PM
2

Laura Briden's The Period Repair Manual also contains more dietary tips to fix the irregular cycles.
/r/RedPillWomen16/11/23 08:40 PM
3

Try reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility and charting the signs. Having periods of the same length is not a prerequisite for charting, you may even find out some of those spots are ovulation spotting. However, if you just have sex anyway and don't trust condoms then fertility awareness will not be a good fit. Because it requires abstention or condoms on the fertile days. So it's the exact same problem before the fertility awareness. I'm currently on the copper IUD but I chart anyway just for …
/r/RedPillWomen16/11/23 08:38 PM
5

Well because for me sexual desire is a positive feedback loop. Seeing my man desire me turns me on. The more into it he is the more into it I am. Perhaps that mechanism or feedback loop is missing in you. In any case it sounds like forcing yourself to get through it is actually causing you trauma so definitely don't do that anymore. When the time comes explain the situation with a new man and find someone understanding. I think part of the problem was your first guy was not understanding and too…
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/23 10:57 PM
19

I think you misunderstand - we are not saying "force yourself to have sex when it is painful". For the majority here that is not the case and sex is a pleasurable experience, and we can get aroused midway through even if we weren't initially. Pain/discomfort on the level you experience simply isn't a concern. For whatever reason that is not the case with you, and so the solution is not the same. Perhaps the man wasn't sympathetic and understanding to your needs and you never felt safe enough to …
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/23 08:16 AM
2

I don't have any answers for the Big Why. At some point I realised I had a lot of time to die so I should give living a shot. I set goals based on avoiding what I thought would make me miserable and attaining what I thought would give me meaning. So far it's working out fine. Goals were: find a good man, become excellent at things, maybe have children.
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/23 09:08 PM
0

Balance of probabilities is that it is a positive thing, ie he is thinking about marrying you. But juxtaposed with the vehement marriage hate talk, it's mixed messaging. Putting it all into perspective, 1) it's only been three months. 2) you really like him 3) you don't expect to get married soon anyway So you're not "wasting your time" with this guy. Maybe if it was 2 years or 1 year in, sure. But three months? This is fine. Give it another three months and see where you are. His "I hate marria…
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/23 10:26 PM
3

My partner has lost arousal when I start crying. Eg we'll be cuddling and he hasn't noticed that I'm sad, then sees my face.
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/23 09:03 PM
3

Well let's just make a distinction here. He doesn't need to be abusive/malicious in order for you to be miserable in your relationship. But he certainly is uncaring and irresponsible. There's no excuse for him taking your legitimate criticisms and turning them back on you instead of owning his part in it and taking initiative to do better. Your post history indicates you've given this guy... Four chances now? Yeah stop making excuses for him. If it makes it easier then tell him (and maybe yourse…
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/23 10:43 AM
5

My opinion is that this relationship is toxic. The statement where he said he forgets you exist tells me he doesn't care about you. I can't believe he actually said that to you and you just accepted that. Every valid criticism of his That you've tried to bring up, her just turns it around back on you to make it your fault. Eg you say you're about to leave the relationship. He accuses you of not telling him sooner. You say he needs to have an open phone policy for you to trust him. He refuses (pr…
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/23 02:46 AM
6

Hey, I will leave a longer response if I have time. But this view is false. Every day should not be a struggle. Yes there are difficulties but I've been in two relationships which were a struggle almost every day, and two which were a breeze, comparatively, and there difficulties were easy to overcome and forget. Reading your post I am reminded of the relationships which were a struggle. If that helps any.
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/23 02:16 AM
2

As a guy I know once said - all men need to get hard is to "just slap it around a little bit". [Disclaimer. The discussion was purely academic. No slapping of anything happened that evening. We were discussing if men could be raped and what constituted rape from a male POV.]
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/23 09:48 AM
1

Just found him recently. He makes so much sense!
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/23 01:27 AM
7

Just pretend for a moment that you meet another man you want to date in the next week. Two questions. Would you still want to hang around this guy? And would your new man want to see you hang around this guy, and would you respect him if he didn't? If the answer to the first question is No just realise you're only doing this because you're interested in him. The second question is just a thought experiment that would perhaps show that your ties to him are shallow and easily broken. You don't eve…
/r/RedPillWomen07/11/23 10:49 AM
8

I also had a lot of trouble orgasming, unfortunately, there's no quick fix. You just have to tell him you can't orgasm, and then, it may take a year or more of training for you to be able to orgasm from his tongue. The way my partner and I did it was by slowly transitioning from me doing it myself with my hands/a toy - to him taking over when I got close, to eventually him doing more and more. It was very important for him to know that he can make me feel good. I can orgasm easily when alone but…
/r/RedPillWomen06/11/23 10:21 PM
1

Thank you. He died in 2019, not so long ago but it seems very long indeed by memory. I have a partner now. If you do come up against this situation, it may be painful, but an LDR would be an option. I had a colleague whose wife was from South America with some fancy degree I think in medicine. But here she could only find jobs like cleaner. He didn't make that much and they had to move apartments which they were struggling with financially. They were thinking of her going back to South America w…
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/23 10:20 PM
6

Priorities change. What you thought was really important to you may turn out to be 2nd place, or it may be able to be put on hold for a short while, or you find something even more meaningful. Yes men are inconstant, they do die, they do leave. But a man that cares for you would want you to be happy and wouldn't ask something so big of you, imo, unless it really was that important. And then you two make the decision together and weigh the pros and cons together. It's not as if he's asking you fo…
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/23 11:12 AM
14

Worry more about finding a guy you want to sleep with and worry less about losing a guy that will pay to see you. There are all sorts of thirsty simps that will spend money on you. Do you really want a simp...?
/r/RedPillWomen30/10/23 10:39 AM
11

I guess you could try to stand your ground about topics you think aren't funny. It's not a requirement of femininity that you act like a "bro" or have a male sense of humour. In terms of compatibility, it's more understandable that he would want someone that "gets" him or you want someone that gets you. But it's not something that should be faked imo. It should be something you two slowly converge on. You two should be meeting in the middle. If it is something not generic and about actual people…
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/23 08:20 AM
11

If he asks why, what will you say?
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/23 07:32 AM
8

I actually think it's good to have at least one moment like this sometime early on in the relationship to just take stock and review things. The fear is real, because men are bigger and stronger than us and could easily hurt us if they wanted to. That biological fact underpins a lot of male/female interactions. Women just want to feel safe around men. And one way to do that is to psychologically control men by making them afraid to use their strength, and make them ashamed of toxic masculinity a…
/r/RedPillWomen24/10/23 12:47 AM
2

Umm. Yeah I'm a bit lost for words. I'm trying to think if a man who asks for all sorts of sex acts could be really into you as well. I guess it's possible, but unlikely. You'd have to vet to see if he treats you as if you're special to him. Treats you with kid gloves. Takes extra care around you, really goes out of his way to appear helpful/considerate. That sort of thing. If he treats you the same or worse as he'd treat any other woman it's not a good sign.
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/23 10:07 PM
1

Also readthe Final Exam, which is about how men don't really know if they'll like you after sex. Sounds like he might be the kind of guy that may not be vetting you on personality.
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/23 09:59 PM
2

Also - have a read of this article by Whisper about men & women trying to negotiate what they should be inspiring. Although the first part was more meant to be illustrative, in your case it's less illustrative and more literal.
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/23 09:50 PM
2

That's a little off putting. No wonder you're stressed out. I think if you included this detail in the post you'd have a lot more opinions. He might not be the man you think he is - especially after only 4 dates. If he brings it up again I'd just say that you meant "with the right man" and you're not sure if he's the right man yet, and the 3rd date thing was a mistake since you're not ready now, especially since you're a virgin and you have no idea how long it takes you to be comfortable with se…
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/23 09:47 PM
1

I don't understand, in what way did he say it? Did he ask you if you were willing to perform sex acts?
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/23 09:31 PM
1

How did he bring it up?
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/23 08:57 PM
3

Most of this is as others have said. But two things stand out. One: because I’m a coward and don’t deal with confrontation well Your mental blocks & obsessive thoughts are coming from this. The more you talk with him about it, the less you will be obsessively thinking about what he might say or might think. Assuming the date would end sour is a very big assumption. If he's a good man his reaction won't be sour. If he's a bad (or immature/entitled) man then the reaction would be sour. You gain ev…
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/23 10:12 PM
2

So glad you found that out about yourself. When I did the exercise in the article I was surprised at the intensity of some of the "evidence". LOL I shoved a political activist once (they were trying to shove me/barricade my way, so fair is fair). And I don't think of myself as a very violent person. So I had to rule out men that couldn't stand up for themselves or were nonconfrontational to a fault.
/r/RedPillWomen21/10/23 12:31 AM
8

I don't think that building a checklist of abstract values that sound good but don't reflect your own values or behaviour or attraction triggers helps you in any way to find a good man. The reason this is, is because you'll find someone "good on paper" but that does nothing for you whatsoever. I've said as much in a previous post, and outlined a practical way to compile a list that actually worked for me.
/r/RedPillWomen19/10/23 12:17 AM
5

Anecdotally, I've heard men say they want 'ambitious' women and a man at work has been weirded out when I said I don't want a management position - I want to stay technical. It's like the expectations are flipped now. I find that the more driven a man himself is, the more likely he will want compatibility in this regard. Of course they don't mean ambition to the detriment of the relationship - eg if an opportunity comes up to move to another continent for work most men would break with the woman…
/r/RedPillWomen17/10/23 10:13 PM
2

I think it's a quantity over quality distinction.
/r/RedPillWomen17/10/23 09:03 PM
8

Regarding your last question, I wonder if you've read The Final Exam? Often men don't know how they themselves will feel about a woman until after sex.
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/23 04:37 AM
7

A good rule of thumb is, if you care about it more, you should do it. The idea that he is somehow wrong or not manly for not doing 50/50 or to your standard is an easy mental trap to fall into, but it's not a fair or agreed expectation. For example - how much of this would you still do if you lived alone? 75%? 100%? And how much of it would he do if he lived alone? Maybe 10%? 20%? I know a guy that didn't even have furniture before his girlfriend moved in, only had one spoon, one bowl, one cup, …
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/23 02:08 AM
3

The bowerbird collector in me really likes the idea of rare, pretty rocks so I get where you're coming from. But on the other hand, if you want to collect rare pretty rocks why care so much about one ring, and why limit yourself to diamonds at all? For example, I prefer gemstones with color over diamonds. And if you think about it, you could probably get an entire collection of rings, bracelets, earrings, etc. with diamonds & other gemstones over the course of the next 5 or 6 decades. But the wh…
/r/RedPillWomen13/10/23 11:01 PM
2

Congrats on the job & the degree! You will see a man's true face when you are completely vulnerable and in his debt, or when he feels that you are a "sure thing". Ideally the progression of a heterosexual relationship with both partners abiding by their gender roles is: as you get more submissive, he gets more protective & caring. It's been 10 years & you've offered him threesomes (which most women wouldn't), and he has not reciprocated with caring & emotional protection. Or, he feels he has rec…
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/23 07:45 AM
39

the men who approach me 95% of the time I have no physical chemistry with This really isn't unique or unusual. I think every woman everywhere can say this - please don't freak out about this. The truth is that finding someone you are both passionate about, compatible with, and can keep, is hard and requires a little luck. Good facial features is not the only factor in whether you find a man arousing. There is also dominance, big muscles/build or height, sometimes career (eg some women have a mil…
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/23 04:02 AM
9

Are you financially dependent on him? What are the practical repercussions for you if this relationship ends? 10 years is a very long time. Starting at 16 it means you've had little to no agency for all of your adult life if he has been in charge. This is extremely concerning because he is now showing that he does not care about your comfort or your mental wellbeing.
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/23 01:26 AM
4

Indeed. It is entirely possible that Roxelana even loved him back and he married her for the good of his empire because he could see she was a shrewd strategist (she did successfully maintain power after his death). But appearance is that he was pussywhipped.
/r/RedPillWomen06/10/23 11:39 PM
6

There's a significant difference between non-high-SMV and simps. I'm sure you'll agree that even high SMV guys can be simps if they have no game. My own SMV is midrange (I'd be "pretty" in a village) and I went for guys about my own level. Perhaps the way I described "attention" is wrong - anything from occasional eye contact to asking for my opinions to always greeting me suffices. My partner is significantly older than I am, and certainly not a simp. He frequently jokes/teases me and others ma…
/r/RedPillWomen06/10/23 11:03 PM
3

This feeling is a combination of interpersonal chemistry and a gut sense about the nobility of his character. I actually only focus on men that like me first, and give me a lot of attention/flirt with me. I get turned off very quickly when a man doesn't return my feelings/treats me dismissively or doesn't pay special attention to me. What can I say? I like to be adored. It only makes me less attracted if it feels too soon/unearnt or if their SMV is low and I don't find them physically attractive…
/r/RedPillWomen06/10/23 10:10 PM
6

Hmmm. I have no idea if it's emasculating in the sense that you describe it - there are probably men out there who would feel that way, but not all men would. From the female perspective getting a worthy man's devotion is certainly an ego boost - but it's not at the expense of respect for the man, it's because of his worth that the ego boost is there. So you think that any man, given a position of enough fame/wealth/power, would always choose to have multiple wives/concubines/sexual partners? Th…
/r/RedPillWomen06/10/23 09:55 PM
3

I do sympathise, that's not a good position to be in. Just a corollary, what I just advised is not very RP. It goes against "bring him your problem not your solution". If you haven't talked openly with him about this libido issue yet it may be worth simply talking about it first without seeking to change anything.
/r/RedPillWomen04/10/23 03:22 AM
5

Well he knows there's a problem because things aren't the way they used to be. I'd try to find the nicest way possible of talking about it - "I'm having issues with my libido. I don't know what the problem is." would be a good opener, and ask "Can we try timing sex around ovulation to see if we can reboot my sex drive?" Of course that sounds a bit sus because then it sounds a bit like you just want babies XD I guess you gotta be careful about birth control?
/r/RedPillWomen04/10/23 02:42 AM
11

My original idea with the 'femme fatale' moments was that the way you perceived yourself changed. Eg, previously you were an unhibited femme fatale but when you became/approached becoming a Christian wife all that had to stop. Women whose body type changes also lose sexual appetite just because they don't feel sexy anymore. It could be that when your role changed from 'wild & free girlfriend' to 'proper wife/fiancee' the same thing happened to you. At some point I became a Christian and started …
/r/RedPillWomen04/10/23 02:26 AM
3

Do you track your ovulation? If you do - are you still disinterested around ovulation?
/r/RedPillWomen04/10/23 02:15 AM
31

I think the idea that his earning potential is linked to your sex drive is a red herring. It may be that his lack of earning (which honestly sounds fine if you have enough for savings & bills) is causing resentment which could be affecting the sexual desire but him gaining money won't rekindle the spark in my opinion. Used to have a lot of femme fatale moments but it seems those days are over. Can you please describe what these femme fatale moments were exactly and why they're over?
/r/RedPillWomen04/10/23 01:57 AM
14

No one in this OP, but I did bring it up in Archwinger's post.
/r/RedPillWomen03/10/23 08:42 PM
82

There's a male TRP post on this topic where Archwinger actually agrees with your friends: Every Unhappy Wife is a Rape Victim. The language is rough and it might rub some people the wrong way. Some quotes if you don't want to read the whole thing/are afraid of going to TRP: Take my friend. His wife doesn’t want to have sex with him. But there is an implied threat there, even if it’s not overt and at knifepoint, that her marriage may be in jeopardy if she doesn’t have sex. She might lose her fina…
/r/RedPillWomen03/10/23 06:10 AM
24

Exactly - if you want/have children or a stable life, these men are a liability. Most women want someone that will love them when they're old/stay committed for life. The men that are always chasing new thrills seem to be ill suited for that kind of life.
/r/RedPillWomen03/10/23 01:12 AM
4

I used to have a porn addiction too; I did NoFap and it helped clear my mind. Looking at your post again I think you are coming from a place of shame/guilt; you believe that you are less of a bride because you're not mentally pure and are trying to make up for it with kinks? I think this is a false assumption. I wouldn't assume that you are less of a virgin just because you have watched porn. My prediction is that you will still be very shy/awkward/bashful during your first time (and for a while…
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/23 11:49 PM
21

I think you have a porn addiction - when you consume porn, it is a spiral of ever-more extreme material to keep you 'satiated'. You'll have to find more and more extreme material to hit the same high. I think the kink/fetish stuff here is way too much for someone who hasn't had sexual experiences, and probably has no bearing on what you'll find pleasant/arousing in real life. Fantasies are not the same as reality. Something that sounds arousing in a fantasy can be very much offputting in real li…
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/23 10:21 PM
5

I don't think it means your friends are imagining your marriage failing, they're just projecting themselves into your situation which is how humans mostly empathise/problem solve. "What would I do?" It says more about them being single or their own contingency plans than your marriage or how they perceive it.
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/23 01:23 AM
3

Oh wow I'm glad about your edit. I was concerned because I've seen your username around and thought you had a good handle on the theory. u/chamomilemist can I give Flower a star?
/r/RedPillWomen01/10/23 10:10 PM
5

Dammit I was all three. And I still read it.
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/23 07:19 AM
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