Worry about future

mistressusa · 2025-02-15T06:14:34+00:00

I think you are in a difficult situation. Your location is the problem. Your standards are not unreasonable and I don't think you should wait until your late 20s to start dating, especially if you want children. Are you within 2hrs of a city or college town? Do you visit your family and are they located in a city? What are the chances of your residency being in an urban area?

TheFeminineFrame · 2025-02-15T13:33:51+00:00

I am going to be brutally honest. Your career path and where you are on that path might be a deterrent to men who are serious about relationships.

To be clear, there is nothing wrong with your career path. It is admirable that you have the intelligence and dedication to pursue becoming a doctor.

What I mean is that as soon as a serious candidate sees that you will be moving soon for residency and then again after that once you become a doctor he might no longer see a future with you. You want someone with a stable career or working towards that. It would be very hard for those men to just up and move for you. Therefore, you are attracting men who are thinking more short term.

You can accept this and accept along with it the possibility that you might not meet your someone until you have more location permanence.

You can also reconsider LTR and all of the challenges that come along with that. Another thing you can do would to be on the lookout for men with remote work. These guys could be more willing to move with you.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2025-02-15T13:00:25+00:00

On paper, your standards are fine. The question is, how are they in practice? Could it be that you are in a location where they’re just aren’t (m)any suitable men? Sure, that’s possible. On the other hand, hypergamy is a cruel mistress. You seem to recognize that in your last sentence.

If there are women around you who have husbands or boyfriends, somehow they are getting partnered up. Ask yourself how.

Just make sure that your actions align with your thoughts. a lot of guys will say that they just want a “simple girl” or whatever until you introduce a 22-year-old with a stripper body into the mix. Then things get complicated.

Source: I date a lot of 22-year-olds with stripper-bodies. But I’m also self-aware about it.

Anyway, I hope everything works out for you. Try and stay positive and not let things affect your studies. don’t let difficulties in one area of your life impact other areas. Good luck.

Trick-Consequence-18 · 2025-02-16T02:08:32+00:00

Your standards are ok.

Your dynamic is challenging.

Going part time or stay at home after extensive expensive education is a tough ask. It’s like you’re asking for 2 different people. One guy who admired and respect your intelligence and work ethic and sacrifice and who is willing to sacrifice a normal kind of relationship in support of your work hours and geographic flexibility. And then you’re also looking for a guy who would be ok with you giving up your major income opportunity, him taking on the full weight of the family costs including debt and losing the income that both of you had previously sacrificed for. That is a really big ask. It’s not impossible but that’s a very rare type who’d be willing and able to basically have your MD as a trophy rather than a practical application.

I do think there are specialities that lend themselves to part time work and that would be a good focus that would allow you to feed both interests, and create some more flexibility in your dating pool.

AutoModerator · 2025-02-15T05:44:03+00:00

Title: Worry about future

Author SuchEnvironment1670

Full text: Hi RPW,

I posted on here a while back asking for advice regarding LDR and being in medical school. The LDR fell through and since then, I have been following some of the comments’ advices and started dating in my area which is a very rural.

Some of the men I have met mainly through dating apps have been disappointing, and the experiences overall have been traumatizing. Men lying about being single, having a wife, their ages, their jobs, their criminal histories, pushing for intimacy early, etc, and it has been affecting my study, and my mental health. There were a few good dates but I did not feel the physical attraction even after many dates.

I believe my standards are reasonable (let me know if they are not): -I want someone somewhat taller than me (I am short, 5’3) - Fit (does not have to have six packs or shredded but I compete in sports, workout 5-6 times a week, cooking/eating healthy, and would love a partner who takes care of himself) - I am attracted to them (does not have to be very good looking but there needs to be some attraction. On my end, I have been told that I am good looking/pretty by strangers, men I went on dates with, etc) - Have a good, stable career or at least working hard toward one (Work ethic is very important to me) - Good character/decent human being (No lying, cheating, not cheating on their wives at home (?))

And I don’t mind dating men in their late 30s either. I am in my mid-20s. (I have gone one dates with a few).

It is my dream to have kids and a family one day. As an immigrant being raised by single mom, it was important that I have an education/job but I would love to eventually transition to part-time or stay at home to take care of my family.

Since dating has been a horrible experience for me, I have decided to wait until my last year of medical school when I will get to move around and have more time to date. I am worried that by then I would be in late 20s, and there will be less men that meet my standards since it has been already so difficult.

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LateralThinker13 · 2025-02-16T07:50:47+00:00

Sounds like you best bet is to skim the men at your gym.

Title	Worry about future
Author	SuchEnvironment1670
Upvotes	5
Comments	18
Date	February 15, 2025 5:44 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1iput7s/worry_about_future/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/worry-about-future.1543917 https://theredarchive.com/post/1543917

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