Setting timeline for marriage

Wife_and_Mama · 2024-11-27T00:28:46+00:00

Timelines get shorter as we get older. We know who we are, what we want, have accomplished some of our personal goals, and just have fewer reasons to wait.

My husband and I discussed timelines on our second date. It came up organically, when he told me about some friends who were getting married. I asked how long they'd dated and the conversation went from there. We both essentially said we thought marriage at the two year mark was ideal and that long engagements were stupid. We got engaged a year and a half later and married six months after that... 23 months after our first date.

I think there's a window, early on in relationships, where you can have this conversation without much pressure. Early enough, it comes across as entirely hypothetical. If he can't talk about marriage in very general terms, he's not looking for it. If you wait too long, though, it sounds like you're rushing things. Personally, I think this window is between that second or third date. when you know things are going well, and that two or three month mark, when he calls you his girlfriend.

littleladyluv · 2024-11-27T00:14:00+00:00

For me: 6 months to a year tops.

When I was younger, my Max was 2 years (with the exception of my first which was a good amount longer). None of my relationships lasted all that long cause I date for marriage. My marriage is meant to last more than 2 years, not a relationship with no ring.

chxcolatewings · 2024-11-28T08:15:41+00:00

I firmly believe in the six-month rule—the idea that within six months, a man knows whether he wants to marry you. If he doesn't see a future with you by that point, he's wasting your time. My parents are a testament to the 6-month rule as well; my dad just knew my mom was the one and proposed to her after only six months of dating. They've been happily married for 21 years now.

PillUpAss · 2024-12-02T11:52:13+00:00

Making rules is what women do for betas. If you want a man with at least some regular alpha qualities, you can’t expect him to adhere to your made up deadlines. He can and may likely go elsewhere to other women where he doesn’t have to deal with the pressure that a beta would tolerate.

Instead of a rule, I suggest: *Realize your rule would likely have led to divorce in your last relationship. *Evaluate each person individually. There are a unique mix of tradeoffs with any partner that could affect when you are both ready for marriage. *Try to align on common goals that involve marriage early. Be open to his perspective and let him lead.

I don’t understand why so many western women think a rule like this is good for them, especially in RPW! It sets up a transactional dynamic for the entire relationship.

Maybe most women believe in using rules to de-risk the relationship for themselves. Maybe it will on paper and on your ring finger, but again remember, you are trying to INSPIRE the man to want to lead in this direction, not mandate it.

TakeThisPrice · 2024-11-29T00:27:25+00:00

Have you visited the r/Waiting_To_Wed subreddit? Lots of discussion around this topic there. (Not that I endorse them all, but worth exploring views and learning from some mistakes).

I would have the conversation within 6 months if it doesn't occur between you organically. Give him a few months headspace after that (though I would have massive alarm bells ringing already if he's not enthusiastic by this point). If he's dragging his feet on getting a ring cut loss.

From reading an array of ladies experiences, one of the risky things you can do is cohabitation with a guy for too long. Whilst it is not a "this happens to everyone" thing, seen too many of my female friends and family stuck living with a guy for 4+ years with zero sign of commitment. Personally I'd avoid living together at all before proposal.

Have your boundaries, value your time, trust me there are plenty of guys that will commit to you if the current one is keeping one foot out the door.

DryMonitor777 · 2024-11-30T16:00:00+00:00

6 months. Sorry but true. No man needs more to know if he is into marrying you or not. You should have at least a ring or indication from him that he is going to propose and when. Anything longer than that is a lie women keep telling themselves including myself. Been there, learned that.

glittergold120 · 2024-12-05T18:33:46+00:00

I’m currently 26 and have been with my bf for four years, no proposal yet. I’ve been thinking of ending it for a lot of reasons but I would say now at my age my timeline is 2 years max

Automatic-Praline568 · 2024-12-09T01:49:21+00:00

We discussed our timeline at the start of our relationship. Mine was 2 years. His was 3. (Both our previous relationships ended in not fun ways). Of course, we were younger. I told him if we aren't engaged by the end of next year we should probably break up. He agrees. However I happen to know an engagement is happening soon.

The point: communicate. Don't opperate on "he should know this." If you want to be on his ship, communicate with the pilot well.

AutoModerator · 2024-11-26T23:56:48+00:00

Title: Setting timeline for marriage

Author SuchEnvironment1670

Full text: For my first relationship, we dated for 5 years with him ending up cheating on me. I no longer want to wait and date someone that long.

Do you have a timeline for your relationship when you expect the man to propose? For example, I was thinking within a year. As I am getting older, I don’t want to wait too long. Do you move on if the man does not propose within your set timeline ? And if you have a timeline, how do you communicate that timeline without coming off too strong or scaring the man away?

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Title	Setting timeline for marriage
Author	SuchEnvironment1670
Upvotes	5
Comments	16
Date	November 26, 2024 11:56 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1h0qpy1/setting_timeline_for_marriage/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/setting-timeline-for-marriage.1537003 https://theredarchive.com/post/1537003

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