~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 8 | Just because I was a pick me doesn't mean I deserved LVM treatment right?I get you. That breakup was actually the first time someone told me I was codependent and then my behavior made SO much sense. I recommend, if you haven’t already, picking up “Codependent No More” by Melody Beattie. The audiobook is also on YouTube too, btw. The more you learn/understand, the more you’ll start to pick yourself back up and catch those behaviors. Honestly, begging in general isn’t good. But it is what it is. You seem like you’re young and now you know it’s not in your best interes… | /r/askFDS | 06/04/21 07:36 AM |
| 9 | Just because I was a pick me doesn't mean I deserved LVM treatment right?Don’t be so hard on yourself. I was in your shoes when I was younger, to a T. Except my ex lost interest in me because he was becoming a pro LoL player, and I was trying all that I could to get him to... be a boyfriend and treat me well and he wouldn’t. So I dumped him and he just threw me out like trash. Was really nasty about it. I went into what Codependency calls “fawn response” and started begging him back. He obviously ignored me and got a kick out of it. One of his fan girls made it very … | /r/askFDS | 06/04/21 03:12 AM |
| 3 | My courtship ended abruptly with this guy. I am so sad and disappointed. Why did this happen?Anytime! Tbh, it doesn’t matter if he realizes or not. He is not compatible with you, so let him stay gone 😊 | /r/askFDS | 02/04/21 09:55 PM |
| 5 | My courtship ended abruptly with this guy. I am so sad and disappointed. Why did this happen?I’m sorry to hear :( You sound like a grounded, open and communicative person, and I didn’t see any signs of you trying to make him feel bad for coming from a different monetary background. I do think, in time, you’ll see this as a learning experience because now you’ll know a little more of what you’d like to do financially in a relationship. He was the vehicle to help you understand that. As far as him. Ugh, it’s just classic male passive aggressive behavior. And it stings. I do think your fri… | /r/askFDS | 02/04/21 07:57 PM |
| 31 | Do you ever look back at the creeps you dated in the past? It makes me feel so disgusted with myself.Oh definitely. Had to reconcile with why I was picking losers my entire dating life. Reopened some painful wounds. But for the most part, I just label those men as Ghosts of Dusty’s Past. They were young and stupid like I was, but they had no business treating me like shit just as much as I had no business allowing that behavior. When you know better, you do better. I would work on making sure you do not pick their repeats in the future. | /r/askFDS | 31/03/21 09:39 PM |
| 1 | Why would my ex from years ago reach out to via Snapchat?I told him “We broke up 4-5 years ago. We can be fb friends if you want but other than that hope you are well” and he said “no worries! Hope you’re well too.” and I said “thank you!” and I blocked him. Hmmmm yeah doesn’t sound like he was up to anything good, but I’m proud I kept it classy and slipped in a test for my younger self because I was a mess over his ugly, skinny ass. Idk of that was an ego boost for him for me to say that? | /r/askFDS | 30/03/21 04:56 AM |
| 6 | Why would my ex from years ago reach out to via Snapchat?Fishing? | /r/askFDS | 29/03/21 05:23 AM |
| 3 | About the Atlanta murders; Misogyny is invisible. It never receives the same recognition and voice racism does.Girl, where was I hushing you up? Was that before or after you passive aggressively said I/others were “outraged” and “infuriated” (which never saw either word in anyone’s responses) in your post edit or was it when you said as such responding to another person who tried to educate you on the intersectional issue of this problem? Or was it when you tried to “shame” me/others for pointing out, again, the same issue? Or when another commenter, also saying borderline racist things, gave you some mo… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/03/21 11:37 PM |
| 3 | About the Atlanta murders; Misogyny is invisible. It never receives the same recognition and voice racism does.Because misogyny experience by WOC is not the same on how all women experience misogyny. You can’t put a blanket on that hence why the focus is on hatred/misogyny from an Asian woman’s perspective. It’s not the same how a yt woman experiences that. The more we are able to understand that, the nuance of it and that it’s about Asian women right now, the better off all of us will be. I feel like that’s pretty synonymous with how Black people are forced to explain BLM to dissenters who are committed… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/03/21 08:45 PM |
| -4 | About the Atlanta murders; Misogyny is invisible. It never receives the same recognition and voice racism does.I get that it’s radfem, but there is nuance there too. Do we not talk about intersectionality? Why can’t this be a conversation on how Asian women are treated and making this a learning opportunity to address how particularly they as a group are treated? It is different and there needs to be space for that understanding. The way Asian women are treated by men in society is not the same way a yt woman is treated. And I do not agree that racism is even addressed by the left. Most liberal groups al… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/03/21 08:18 PM |
| 20 | Would probably sprain my thumb from the force of that block and delete😮 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/03/21 07:53 AM |
| 38 | Why do so many LVM ask you to plan the date? Laziness is a given but are they looking for a mother figure?Good for you. I remember telling a bf of mine to be assertive if he wanted me and to take me on a date. My dads gf felt so bad for me that she got me a gift card to like Applebee’s or something so we could go out to dinner instead of him coming over to my house and eating pizza every day. Full. On. Loser. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/03/21 12:41 AM |
| 5 | This is why we don’t call men HV or get our hopes up ladies.Girl same. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/03/21 12:27 AM |
| 22 | This is why we don’t call men HV or get our hopes up ladies.This. This was me at 19. The exact same thing happened to me with a cheapo/low effort dude. I thought I was in love with him but I was just overly attached and honestly I had PTSD from some really traumatic events that happened before I’d dated him. Like, I’d been semi-homeless, I’d lived in an emotionally abusive home for 2.5 years prior to said homelessness, I had experienced major depression for the first time in my life, my dad physically attacked me and our close relationship was ruined for… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/03/21 12:19 AM |
| 11 | If you are asking yourself whether you should block himYep. And if you’re wrong about them (which I doubt) they can work to prove it (which I doubt they would) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/03/21 12:00 AM |
| 4 | Repeat after meI’m out here looking like a clown because I had to mf teach my boyfriend how to do all of these things. A fucking unpaid teacher 🤡 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/03/21 11:22 PM |
| 47 | Repeat after meWell, then he was doing it performatively instead of being genuine about it. And that is on him. He should want to do it as a sign of respect, not to show his buddies “how good of a guy” he is. So he’s not a good guy. And if he was, there is context, if you just so happen to grab the door handle first, he can grab the top of the door to hold it wide open for you. Just stupid. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/03/21 11:21 PM |
| 72 | Never settle for less than what you deserveWe’re saying gay or straight the problem is men. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/03/21 10:26 PM |
| 52 | Saweetie demonstrates how you clear a fuckboy and his attempted gaslightI don’t think Cardi will. She’s a smart woman but has low self esteem. I get the sense she feels like she’s “top tier” of all of his BM. Kind of how Ciara fell into that trap with Future before she wised up and left. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/03/21 06:57 PM |
| 129 | REMINDERSo they can selfishly get their needs met. Got it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/03/21 02:59 AM |
| 8 | Beware of bars/clubs/restaurants that offer "Free drinks for ladies!"😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/03/21 02:42 AM |
| 18 | Beware of bars/clubs/restaurants that offer "Free drinks for ladies!"Lmao where was this post like 10 years ago when I went to every ladies night with my college girlfriends? It’s true though. Now when I drive by the local honky tonk near my folks’ place, it’s dead every night except Thursday. Thursday is “ladies get in free night.” Nothing but thirsty ass men lined up outside of the club. Pathetic. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/03/21 02:39 AM |
| 1 | We are not immune from our own deeply rooted biases.White | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/03/21 11:00 PM |
| 2 | Getting sick and LVMMe too, girl, me too. I guess when we’re that young we just don’t know better. We see trash and think the stink smells like roses. What a fucking jerk. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/03/21 01:00 AM |
| 4 | Getting sick and LVMMan if I had witnessed that I would’ve cussed him out for you. What the actual fuck? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/03/21 12:42 AM |
| 18 | We are not immune from our own deeply rooted biases.I can admit to that— for me it’s internalized racism and internalized misogyny. Had to come to terms with that just recently. Growing up, I was often the only POC in my grade or in my class and it hurt that boys I liked went for girls who didn’t look like me (yt girls) and I was called all kinds of names. That deeply affected my self esteem to the point that when I did start dating around 17–18, I made a point to highlight my “yt” hobbies and features to appeal to yt men. I thought it made me “b… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/03/21 10:44 PM |
| 2 | Getting sick and LVMSnaps👏🏾on👏🏾those👏🏾goals👏🏾 YGG! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/03/21 10:20 PM |
| 4 | Getting sick and LVMTold him the same. I got him to go to therapy and ACOA (adult children of alcoholics) meetings because his mom was a narc alcoholic and he was clearly codependent. We tried couples therapy. But I saw that the way he described him going to therapy and meetings was the exact same way his mom would describe going to her “treatments” too. Like saying fluff to say that they went but they weren’t really learning and implementing anything. He tried to say “I’m going to have a big talk with my mom and t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/03/21 09:18 PM |
| 8 | Getting sick and LVMYes, I left him... 2 years later essentially for the same reason. He was choosing his mother over me —as in my feelings and well being were at the detriment of keeping her happy. He basically thought since he put up with her abusive behavior he could force me to do the same. So when I dumped him I told him he needed to stand up to his mom or he would continue to ruin his relationships and he said, verbatim, “It’s hard because she lives 45 minutes away.” I made the right decision. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/03/21 08:43 PM |
| 66 | *sigh* Girl, really? You can cook a nice meal for the price of one takeout portion, he just chooses not to.Most men are cheap but this dude is just broke as a joke and sounds like he’s one of those types that would call you a gold digger if you told him why you didn’t want to see him anymore | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/03/21 08:52 AM |
| 23 | Men intend to force you into a no-win situation when they cross your boundaries. Don't let them.DARVO? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/03/21 08:45 AM |
| 37 | Getting sick and LVMWow, that reminded me of my most recent ex. His family invited me over for Christmas, and while I was nervous/excited, I came down with a horrible cold. So I had to cancel. If it was a sniffles situation, I would’ve made it work but o had a fever and couldn’t breathe. I’d gone to the doctor. He kept pushing for me to come. Like overly insisting because hIS mOm WaS eXPeCtInG mE <—remember that. It was starting to become infuriating how much he would not take my no. My friend at the time was pisse… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/03/21 03:39 AM |
| 12 | THIS is why I’m so hard on my friends who say marriage is just a piece of paper. THIS. Nobody in this world will look out for us and our progeny, so WE must take out our own insurance policiesYep. That unfortunately happened to my dad’s fiancé. In her defense, my dad really wasn’t interested in getting married. But in my dads defense, she pushed for them to live together with her kids and rent a house. They also started an unsuccessful business. He proposed to her. About 6 months later, he unexpectedly passed away in a car accident. My sister and I were next of kin. When I got to the hospital, it was clear she had told staff she was my dads wife. They even manipulated me into having … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/03/21 08:16 PM |
| 6 | Poor relationships and toxic shameThank you💕 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/03/21 07:35 PM |
| 5 | Feeling a lot of regret and sadness about how little self-respect I used to haveI had time to read it during the Texas winter storm a month ago, and I was crying icy tears at Trudy’s story. I. Was. Trudy. Through and through. I’m finishing it up but that book took me OUT (in a good way). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/03/21 04:15 AM |
| 24 | Feeling a lot of regret and sadness about how little self-respect I used to haveOh, boy. I’m going to try to sum it up as best as I can, but I’m also eager to see what other ladies have to say. What did it for me initially was getting sick and tired of being sick and tired and taking therapy seriously. I had been in relationships, situationships and hookups and while there was feelings there — intense feelings at that — I felt like a used up, ugly, dirty old rag doll after getting out of them. Desperate. At the end of it, I was only 27! I was not old and I was not ugly. Lik… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/03/21 03:55 AM |
| 10 | The “talking” stage and why it’s not flattering or beneficial to womenIt says date multiple men until you find one worth committing to. I just want to make that clear for those who my be confused on situationships. FDS doesn’t advise that. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/03/21 07:02 PM |
| 38 | “Doesn’t like men”It was a cat! 😹 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/03/21 08:51 AM |
| 6 | If he says Not All Men, he is exactly That Kind of Man.** laughs in Black woman ** | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/03/21 07:39 AM |
| 100 | “Doesn’t like men”Dogs and children always know 🤷🏾♀️ And my kitty, too. Had a really racist and creepy AT&T come by a few months ago to repair my router and she was in full protecc and attacc mode. She wouldn’t let him come near me and she patrolled my area of the living room to make sure he didn’t approach me. Her tail was straight up the whole time. He kind of had a vibe like he could seriously hurt someone. Also I don’t think my Obama picture helped his vibe either lol. And this is the same kitty who loves to… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/03/21 07:34 AM |
| 60 | “Doesn’t like men”I grew up with a shelter dog with this characteristic. It was a running family theory that he came from a horrible home before because our new dog did not like: men children violence (he watched tv and would attack the tv if there was a violent scene— like we had scratches on the screen) sports It was bizarre. He loved my dad, though. And we never had any issues with intruders and we knew pretty quickly if a visitor to our home was “off” (he’d growl or bark from outside). Strange dog, but a good… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/03/21 07:29 AM |
| 3 | If he says Not All Men, he is exactly That Kind of Man.Who is Lauren Southern? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/03/21 07:23 AM |
| 67 | The “talking” stage and why it’s not flattering or beneficial to womenThe couple times I’ve been in situationships, it was fruitless and dumb. The first guy did as mentioned in your post and basically used me to pass the time (he lived 4 hours away) but he had no problem texting and flirting with me everyday, falling asleep together on Skype etc. I tried to get him to visit me and he wouldn’t because he said he “just doesn’t have the funds to do it right now.” So he “hoped he didn’t disappoint me.” Yep, we’re done. Of course a couple months later, he got a girlfri… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/03/21 06:10 AM |
| 8 | If he says Not All Men, he is exactly That Kind of Man.I see it a lot in the gaming community. They want to date these crusty streamers because they’re famous on Twitch but can’t take care of themselves in real life. They after time has passed then they’re like “wahhh my streamer ex was a horrible boyfriend, these guys don’t deserve girlfriends.... but not all gamers are like that” Which gamers? The ones who ignored you or the ones that pay money for you to wear pig tales and take ass pics? Which is it? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/03/21 05:48 AM |
| 10 | If he says Not All Men, he is exactly That Kind of Man.What about women who say Not All Men? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/03/21 08:29 PM |
| 44 | Boy moms and their pickmeisha tendencies?Ehhhhhhh, I dated a guy who had a sister and she was fake as a snake. Sorority girl fake. She knew her mom was a narcissist but, much like my ex, expected me to put up with his mom’s nasty behavior. She literally sat and watched as her mother screamed at me and threw a blanket in my face. His sister then just stared me down and waited for what my reaction was going to be to that. Didn’t say anything. Her son, who I was dating, didn’t say anything. She was watching to see if I was going to be the… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/03/21 08:10 PM |
| 8 | How do you avoid casual sex, especially when you are horny, single and wants to remain single?It’s okay OP, I did the same thing when I was in college and my early 20s. You got this! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/03/21 07:53 PM |
| 2 | How to stop protecting male feelings?Wow... this got me F’d up in a good way. I literally didn’t even think about it that way. | /r/askFDS | 15/03/21 01:39 PM |
| 3 | How to stop protecting male feelings?Thank you 💕That is so eerie you were also codependent on your mother and it was transferred over to your ex. That’s exactly what happened with me too. | /r/askFDS | 15/03/21 10:49 AM |
| 9 | How to stop protecting male feelings?It says I don’t respect myself. I think it comes from wanting to have them love me so badly or get them to see that I care for them. To show that I’m worthy and lovable. As to say, if I put up with the disrespect will you love me? Do I get love now? I’m in the middle of dealing with codependency issues that stem from childhood, so there’s probably a false martyr element to it too. It’s just interesting because it’s almost like I know I don’t like them as a person but I’m blinded by my emotion fo… | /r/askFDS | 15/03/21 10:16 AM |
| 27 | Police disturbing peaceful vigil for Sarah Everard who’s suspected murderer is a Police officerTwo words: Breonna Taylor | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/03/21 07:08 PM |
| 3 | Where’s the ring, sis?You’re brave to come on here and call Taylor Swift a PickMe, some will swoop in and attack on that. But I completely agree, and she turns around and gets mad when people point it out. Anyway, I do think it is smart to be unmarried when you make that much money and stand to lose a lot if you were to divorce. I think her bf comes from New Money so he’s not exactly a regular person either, but Taylor is in a very small group of people who have as much wealth as she does. I’m looking to marry and I … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/03/21 06:52 PM |
| 15 | Where’s the ring, sis?Your story reminds me of what the singer Hayley Williams went through. The guy she was with was a groomer/serial cheater with a fancy for young, pliable women. They didn’t make it to 2 years married before they divorced (been together for about 10). He finds another young, more naive and pliable woman to date and married her. Got her pregnant immediately after the wedding:( now she is stuck. You may be over it all but that story may be affirming to you that you mega dodged a bullet. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/03/21 06:41 PM |
| 11 | PSA! This has always been accurate for me 😂Y’all this is too much 😂😂😂😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/03/21 06:15 PM |
| 9 | PSA! This has always been accurate for me 😂I think she’s a HVW because she grew from that experience and matured. She did make some choices to allow him back in her life and to forgive him but in the end I think she learned it was fruitless and to accept the writing on the wall for what it was. She realized she had bigger fish to fry and she herself was single for a long time while she also started becoming more selective with her business ventures. She grew. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/03/21 06:14 PM |
| 2 | PSA! This has always been accurate for me 😂I died laughing 😂😂😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/03/21 06:09 PM |
| 21 | How many of you “developed” issues while in a relationship? I’ll go first: depression and anxiety. Cured as soon as we broke up.If we dated the same dude, girl I am so sorry. Oh my GOSH he was trash! Literally and figuratively. So many people told me during and after the relationship that the problem (even his friends and his equally trashy and desperate eventual new girlfriend) was him but I had -500 self esteem and wouldn’t believe it. Blinded by emotions. Externally I was able to get away from him and those involved and I had a full, well rounded college experience. But inside, the experience still wrecked me for a lo… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/03/21 02:16 AM |
| 2 | 💕Raising my glass to “Fuck that Job” for you! I agree. You deserve it. DoneWithShit2021 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/03/21 02:03 AM |
| 68 | How many of you “developed” issues while in a relationship? I’ll go first: depression and anxiety. Cured as soon as we broke up.So he basically asked you to be a completely different person. Wow. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/03/21 01:56 AM |
| 5 | 💕I know exactly what you mean. I’m working on being less ‘nice’ from the get go and being consistent with it. I was meek and ‘nice’ for the first 2 years or so on the job, but I started to grow a pair and challenge some of the things I was seeing and they did not like it. And they thought they had the system on their side. To an extent, they did. But I documented everything. They thought I wasn’t smart enough to do that so they played fake nice until I quit to try to stab me in the back. It sucks… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/03/21 01:49 AM |
| 58 | How many of you “developed” issues while in a relationship? I’ll go first: depression and anxiety. Cured as soon as we broke up.Same with my first boyfriend. I thought I had BPD. Granted, I went through some heavy shit that needed to be addressed (my parents had a nasty divorce and my mom abandoned me), but this dude was so avoidant and made me feel crazy because he refused to put any effort into the relationship and made me feel crazy for me ACTUALLY doing all the effort in the relationship even though I was in school and trying to build a life. It just turns out he just didn’t want to, yet expected me to always be ther… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/03/21 12:30 AM |
| 15 | NEVER hire a male personal trainerI wouldn’t date one either. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/03/21 12:25 AM |
| 7 | 💕I had a friend like this. She was my best friend. She was very supportive and generally loyal. But she had this bad habit of keeping around her “first love” that she was never technically in a relationship with because he would cheat on his actual girlfriends with her. She already wrote off her other friend as jealous when she told my friend that she never liked him (I wonder why). He dropped her when she became seriously ill and years later ignored her calls and texts when she moved out to NYC … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/03/21 09:13 PM |
| 17 | 💕I think your mom has a bit of a point about women. I became pretty disillusioned when I was on the board for a women’s org within my company. But they weren’t really doing it to better opportunities for other women in the workplace, they were doing it for clout. And, the same women I worked with on that board were also bullying me too. One was the HR rep for the location we worked at. They were ruthless and catty to no end, yet were smiling it up and plying kumbayah in the office and with leader… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/03/21 09:02 PM |
| 7 | 💕And that’s really sad because while it’s wise to not trust men, there’s a lot of women you can’t trust either | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/03/21 08:30 PM |
| 17 | Beware of the term “I Care for You”“Shit up my place like it’s a B&B” 😂😂😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/03/21 09:16 AM |
| 27 | Beware of the term “I Care for You”Omg did we date the same dude | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/03/21 09:14 AM |
| 14 | Experience with men who once considered polyamory but are now monogamous?Yep. Many men will try to downplay their true intentions/desires simply because they don’t want to risk losing what they have in front of them. We downplay our desires out of “love” or need to please. | /r/askFDS | 12/03/21 07:12 PM |
| 15 | Experience with men who once considered polyamory but are now monogamous?Oh no, baby. Me personally, I wouldn’t consider someone who has before (because of STD/health reasons). I get it works for other people’s lives and that’s fine, but I would also have the thought it in the back of mind about him changing his mind down the road. If monogamy is important, I’d say so. Be prepared to cut bait if that ever changes on his end. | /r/askFDS | 12/03/21 07:06 PM |
| 78 | It's Not Rocket Science.Prince said it — “until I find the righteous one, computer blue.” For me, it’s all men until a HVM appears. Vet, vet, vet. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/03/21 05:44 PM |
| 8 | Happy wife, happy lifeOne of my friends told me about this adage after I’d broken up with my LVM ex bf from college. I blamed myself for us not working out because he didn’t see the issue in living with his female friend/drug dealer when I didn’t do drugs and he and I agreed we wouldn’t live with each other. But you’d live with another woman? His answer was so he could get free weed and she’d have her own bathroom. I told him I wasn’t comfortable and he tried to get me to change my mind and to “befriend” this girl an… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/03/21 04:47 PM |
| 14 | "Men are nice when they pursue, and women are nice when they reject"- Gift of fear by Gavin de BeckerMen are all over the place when they get rejected. One acted like a bitch and bashed me on his stream Another was passive aggressive and told me “if you just don’t blow everything out of proportion we’d still be together” and then played savior when I (dumbly) begged for him back. He dumped me back. One cried and gave false excuses like he was going to change the shit I’ve been telling him about til I was blue in the face One started texting and calling me from different phone numbers and then e… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/03/21 04:11 PM |
| 81 | What wall? 70yo woman credits her beautiful life to staying single and falling in love with yourself.And a BLACK👏🏾WOMAN👏🏾 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/03/21 05:07 AM |
| 9 | From HV to NV, a short story.🗑 🗑 🗑 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/03/21 06:47 PM |
| 9 | how to deal with a guy who's full of himself?Nope. Cut bait. | /r/askFDS | 11/03/21 05:29 PM |
| 50 | From HV to NV, a short story.Damn, well I know my first bf at 19 shouldn’t have made it past the gate whatsoever. I had horrendous food poisoning (like projectile coming out of both ends) when we were still getting to know each other and I explained it to him that I was really sick. I secretly wanted him to comfort me, but I rationalized it away because I really just wanted to talk to him... for comfort. Meanwhile, my dad, who was 🔥FURIOUS🔥 at me for recently getting fired at my job and lying about it (I secured a new one l… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/03/21 05:07 PM |
| 4 | Anybody else met a guy who's pro-mask but anti-condom?Wow, that’s just ridiculous. See I was just a PickMe and just went on the pill for my last boyfriend (not unprotected sex guy) because it was an “independent woman hoo rah” moment. A man offering to pay or to even ask me to go on would have floored me. Lmao. And even if the guy did run out of condoms and we were in a pinch, old me would’ve prided myself to still suck his dick instead. The things we do....... PS- birth control ex DID buy himself a fleshlight and thought it “brought us closer toge… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/03/21 07:38 AM |
| 7 | Anybody else met a guy who's pro-mask but anti-condom?I’ve dated a guy who did ask me before sex if I was on the pill. I told him no and he wore a condom. But it didn’t stop him from pushing my boundaries and trying to (and partially unsuccessfully) have unprotected sex with me while we dated. It happened twice. Those times didn’t last very long bc I would dry up— a signal of course that I wasn’t comfortable and my body was like ‘nuh uh’— so you have to watch that. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/03/21 07:26 AM |
| 8 | Designing WomenI mean, I love Julia’s character and get what she’s saying, she wouldn’t know what has happened in modern times and given where the show was located she probably didn’t see it any other way, but it absolutely would’ve been excused if it were a Black man too. We do live in a society when Black people (including children) are beaten and killed on TV and then excuses are made as to why they were deserving of inhumane treatment... like that has been happening for decades | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/03/21 02:10 AM |
| 5 | How to stop being treated as a secretary at work?That’s what I’ve gotten from him too. When the whole training material thing happened, it really made it seem like this other guy was being ushered into taking my job but boss wouldn’t flat out say it. It could’ve been the other guys arrogance but I could tell he felt under the impression to just start taking over. Pretty shitty they just told him without telling me then back track when they got called out. ETA: He’s also said “well I know you’re busy with other things” and that’s when I brought… | /r/askFDS | 10/03/21 09:19 PM |
| 11 | Designing WomenI love Julia. Sometimes I’ll watch clips of her reads for a self esteem boost (the clip of her speech “The night the lights went out in Georgia is impeccable). She had her head on straight. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/03/21 07:01 PM |
| 67 | Anybody else met a guy who's pro-mask but anti-condom?Absolutely not. Call me closed minded but I feel if you aren’t married and there’s no agreement about it within the marriage, no condom is reckless and irresponsible. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/03/21 06:59 PM |
| 8 | How to stop being treated as a secretary at work?Maybe not? I make well over what a secretary makes | /r/askFDS | 10/03/21 05:03 PM |
| 9 | This Particular Brand of Male Selfishness Drives Me Up a WallThis rang such a big bell with me. My ex fits into those “decent guy” categories as mentioned in OP’s post, but when I finally broke up with him and realized he was manipulative and Not empathetic about his mother situation, my former friend (who is a pickmeisha) said “well I didn’t say anything because it wasn’t like he hit you, but I hated him.” No, he didn’t hit me. So listen to your friend suffer for over a year (we were together for 2.5 years total). There were nitpicky things about him tha… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/03/21 06:29 AM |
| 4 | I'm gonna buy a house, and I need bffs with cats and dogsI’m good with that too! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/03/21 03:50 AM |
| 9 | I'm gonna buy a house, and I need bffs with cats and dogsYes, this. But also, get out of my house. Respectfully ❤️ I do like my space. Maybe a neighborhood or village of close friends. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/03/21 02:32 AM |
| 140 | Reminder that most men aren't looking for an equal partner, but rather someone to feed their ego... Always check if his "dream woman" description matches a dog! 😂I was about to say.... as a BW, I don’t think we’d go for that. Either way, it’s a clever as hell ad 😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/03/21 01:45 PM |
| 114 | Don’t EVER feel bad about being mean to men! Protect your well-being first!Or a doormat | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/03/21 01:44 PM |
| 8 | I'm done being polite to accommodate men's egosI do this too. I love it. If I’m on a Zoom call and they’re being disrespectful, I just ask “what was that?” And usually I get a jumped “I’m sorry I...” or they restate the question in a respectful way while stammering lol. Yeah mf I know you know that I know you’re being rude. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/03/21 10:23 AM |
| 14 | I jump onto the physical too soon...I secretly thought this too. No man will pass up free sex. Exactly zero. | /r/askFDS | 08/03/21 04:43 AM |
| 12 | I jump onto the physical too soon...I understand. I have done the same in all of my relationships. It came from a deep place that said “If I have sex with them, they’ll stay.” That’s how worthless I felt. And I’m sort of ashamed to say it, but I was a virginity taker too. That was my low. I knew it was wrong, but that’s how desperate I was to have a boyfriend. And when I did want to slow things down and get to know them, I’d ignore my own senses of having some boundaries in favor of that selfish need. Obviously, it wasn’t like any… | /r/askFDS | 08/03/21 04:41 AM |
| 39 | Piers Morgan Continues His Hate Obsession with Meghan MarkleMy aunt (who is kind of an OG FDSer before FDS was a thing, she’s been living FDS since her 20s and she’s 55 now) and I love how unabashedly typical Piers is with Meghan. This dude is just mad she didn’t want to meet him for drinks one day in like 2012– while he was MARRIED to whatever 2nd or 3rd wife of his— and has been pissy about it since. How DARE this “colored” woman turn him down! How dare she not give HIM the time of day! How dare she not waste a mere LOOK his way! So, to make himself fe… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/03/21 09:35 PM |
| 2 | I have no wordsIt was in the murdered by words sub so I think they were serious | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/03/21 04:46 PM |
| 35 | Keep your friends safe! 🌸I wish I had this during my clubbing days, though I know my girl would help me out if I ever needed it | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/03/21 09:45 AM |
| 12 | I have no wordsAlways wanted to be likened to a bologna 🤗 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/03/21 03:29 AM |
| 11 | PSA: Creating Non-Approved FDS Spinoff Subs will Result in a Permanent Ban on all FDS related subs.Why/how was she rude? Even if she was all of those things, it doesn’t address the need for a FULL space for Black women or WOC with an FDS mindset. It’s tiresome to say “men treat us like trash” and then get gaslighted or “...but” when we say “men treat BlWOC women worse and here is why.” I’ve yet to see a meaningful solution to that. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/03/21 11:17 PM |
| 4 | Why do they use excuses and white lies so they won't disappoint you?This. My ex boyfriend would do the same. At first it was white lies, then lies by omission, then it was flat out lies (as in he got caught in them). I hate liars, and usually I am done with them once I can see they don’t value telling the truth, but I stuck it out for him bc he batted his big blue eyes and I felt like a bitch for tearing him a new one (lame). I didn’t want to be alone. But the lies turned into straight up gaslighting and manipulation. He knew I would catch him in lies so instead… | /r/askFDS | 05/03/21 03:45 PM |
| 0 | The “mom” of my friend groupIf you haven’t already, look up codependency. There’s the fixer/rescuer element to codependent behavior and it’s learned as a survival skill usually in childhood after something traumatic has happened. Just a thought. I had a friend who acted like you in a lot of ways, and the thing I didn’t understand was when she’d open up about her struggles in life, I would ask her what’s going on and support her. She would shut me down, skirt around it or not want to talk about it and then put the subject b… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/03/21 03:28 PM |
| 8 | Does anyone else find it so hard and cringey when reading other dating subs?Lmao one of these days I might just release my GAG account name so y’all can see the massive amount of overanalyzing I did from 2011-2015. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/03/21 03:38 AM |
| 43 | Does anyone else find it so hard and cringey when reading other dating subs?Yep, pretty much. I’ve had a woman-figure in my life tell me the same thing, and for a LONG time I believed it. That I was just overthinking things. It really taught me to disconnect from my gut, when I was generally right about how I felt about things, but second guessed myself and give them a chance when they weren’t well intended to begin with. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/03/21 11:16 PM |
| 113 | Does anyone else find it so hard and cringey when reading other dating subs?That’s why I had to stop following relationships and even datingover30. Sometimes they’ll be straight up with OPs but the advice is usually slanted towards the guy’s POV. It reminds me of a site I used to religiously follow, GirlsAskGuys. Terrible. Nothing but circle jerks telling you to “relax” and “let him come to you” while the guy was exhibiting the behaviors above. It means he’s not interested, drop him. Guys play way too many games. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/03/21 11:12 PM |
| 26 | Does anyone else find it so hard and cringey when reading other dating subs?That’s why I had to stop following r/relationships and even r/datingover30. Sometimes they’ll be straight up with OPs but the advice is usually slanted towards the guy’s POV. It reminds me of a site I used to religiously follow, GirlsAskGuys. Terrible. Nothing but circle jerks telling you to “relax” and “let him come to you” while the guy was exhibiting the behaviors above. It means he’s not interested, drop him. Guys play way too many games. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/03/21 11:11 PM |
| 12 | Why do they use excuses and white lies so they won't disappoint you?Following for commentary. | /r/askFDS | 04/03/21 11:06 PM |
| 18 | If you’re going to do OLD, I recommend OkCupidI think the overall strategy is good, but OKCupid is trash. Nothing but horror stories there. And druggies. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/03/21 06:21 PM |
| 117 | Don’t let them baby trap you ladies. Very bad things can happen.This^ Your pussy tells on these dudes for sure! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/03/21 02:57 AM |
| 3 | How has FDS affected your live otherwise than dating?Super relatable. Thank you! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/03/21 02:53 AM |
| 8 | How has FDS affected your live otherwise than dating?Mine has gone up 😂 Some ladies in one of my BW groups introduced me to The Rose and let me tell you... Agreed on the male attention thing. I thought that was actual currency. But most of the time, those girls are in unsatisfying relationships anyway and also the type to post about it 24/7 and LIE about how happy they are. Then when they break up they have egg on their face posting some bs about how they knew they deserved better. Obviously not because you stayed with him. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/03/21 09:59 PM |
| 10 | How has FDS affected your live otherwise than dating?I would love to know how you’re doing in the food part! That’s something I see that I learned from my PickMe mom (food for celebration, food for being bored, food for sadness). In more depth, what things have worked to make the food aspect a permanent change in not going back to food triggers/setbacks or even cravings? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/03/21 09:53 PM |
| 14 | How has FDS affected your live otherwise than dating?I agree that it has done wonders for my self esteem. It’s also done a lot for my healing when it came to people pleasing, abandonment issues and codependency (choosing bad friends and partners). I really felt stuck and tethered to my old self before I found FDS and thought there was something wrong or damaged about me that I just couldn’t see. But the reality was I had low self esteem and it was reinforced by my settling. Getting clear on that has actually made me feel a lot calmer and more bala… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/03/21 09:44 PM |
| 23 | Turn the tables on male gaslighting, except it’s not cute when they’re angry because it’s actually life-threatening.Um... wow. I actually thought when one of my exes used to say that my anxiety or freaking out was “cute” was a compliment. At the time I had attachment trauma (parents recently split up in a very traumatic way) and I had opened up to him that I sometimes over think. Though in his defense a little, I showed I was way too dependent on him because I was scared of him leaving me. But how is any of that “cute”? He was actually degrading me and not taking me seriously. I used to wonder when I would tr… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/03/21 08:34 AM |
| 9 | Anyone else feel this way?I do too. I’m working through it. I’m 28 and even though you couldn’t pay me to go back to my ex boyfriend, I feel that the last few years of your 20s should be about dating around and having fun if your single. I’ve still got a shape. I can get away with certain things that once age sets in, I can’t. Thing is, if I still want kids, there’s still about 12 years. I know most people aren’t the same as they were 12 years ago and a lot dies happen. I just refuse to settle anymore. I’ve been settling… | /r/askFDS | 02/03/21 06:51 PM |
| 23 | How common is this? You should not be needing marriage counseling right after marriage. Society focuses more on the act of being wed/partnered than they do on the quality of the relationship being established. That's why FDS recommends to vet, vet, vet to keep therapy/divorce costs low later on.Lmao you sound like the couples therapist my ex and I saw after about 2 years of dating. I’d broken up with him because he refused to accept and respect the fact that I didn’t want to be around his mother (who was an abusive alcoholic) and that I was fed up with his behavior about it. He would make commitments to me (sometimes even months in advance) and we’d be on the same page as a couple about it, and then when his mom would throw a fit because it didn’t fit what she wanted he would lie to ap… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/02/21 06:45 PM |
| 33 | Is dick worth it?I miss it, I’m not going to lie. But I’m comfortably ok with being alone and not settling until I find someone that is worth my time. I would not like to be celibate for the rest of my life, though I am content with never having to put up with no effort and a child dressed up as a man of a partner. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/02/21 04:33 AM |
| 4 | There's other ways to save money.And here’s the thing too, if you want to be treated like a King, maybe treat your girlfriend/wife like a Queen, fam. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/02/21 02:44 AM |
| 3 | There's other ways to save money.One of my ex boyfriends asked if he could get a discount at the theatre that I worked at (he took me to the movies for our second date). Like as he was buying the tickets for us. Thankfully I was recently fired from there (lmao) so my precious coworker told him no. But even still.... That is so cheap to ask!!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/02/21 02:40 AM |
| 34 | If You Don’t Stand Up For Yourself, Men Will Run All Over YouWhat are the 4 things to never compromise on, OP? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/02/21 02:35 AM |
| 84 | She didn't stutter!sighs another comment to out my exes... One boyfriend from college seemed to be the “clean one” in the house he was living in with dudes. I thought I hit the jackpot— he did his dishes, cleaned up after himself, his room was always decent and clean. AND THEN I SAW HIS BATHROOM. His toilet was black and orange and his shower was part of the matching set. I was appalled. His gay best friend was trying to tell me, “look I wouldn’t even step foot in that bathroom of his either.” I would just quietly… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/02/21 01:29 AM |
| 60 | She didn't stutter!I know right? Which reality show did they get this music from 😂😂😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/02/21 01:16 AM |
| 17 | Having boundaries does not make you controlling or insecure, and cut anyone out of your life who tells you otherwise.I remember seeing that post too. While yes, I do think the overarching problem is that he lied to her, the porn part is definitely the cherry on top. What a fucking creep. I might make a post about it too, but where is the line with porn vs nudes? Maybe I have a closed mined view, but of course when you’re apart from your guy, they’re going to jerk off/get horny or whatever. I don’t want a man who is porn sick but what about if your man asks for nudes? Generally I think that if a woman is sendin… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/02/21 12:11 AM |
| 7 | Conspiracy theorist and frothing nutcase Alex Jones taunts his ex-wife by buzzing around her home in a helicopter after judge ordered him to stay away 🤡What did she say? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/02/21 07:56 PM |
| 6 | I agree that trying to sell yourself on dating apps is degradingI agree. Plus, I find it kind of special to meet someone in person or have someone recommended to you by a (HVW) friend instead. And in a panorama? It feels like most folks are understandably desperate for human interaction which can cloud judgement. Of course there’s success stories about OLD and that is great but they’re the exception in my mind. | /r/askFDS | 27/02/21 06:19 PM |
| 19 | Imagine trying to find a gynecologist in network and these are the only options 😭😭🥺You know, the only doctor that took my endometriosis seriously was a male gynecologist. It was pretty disappointing considering I was in pain and had went to 3 different female gynecologists just for them to shove a camera inside me and throw me birth control pills. And the birth control pills were the only cure in their mind. Infrequent bleeding? Birth control. Radiating pelvic pain? Birth control. Hirsutism? Birth control. Painful sex? Birth control. Cramps so bad you’re doubled over in pain a… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/02/21 02:05 AM |
| 5 | TELL ON HIM 2021 | A Capitol rioter texted his ex during the insurrection to call her a ‘moron,’ feds say. She turned him in.YGG! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/02/21 05:59 AM |
| 66 | If he walks faster than you in public, DUMP HIMUgh I can’t believe I actually had the patience to teach my ex boyfriend how to walk with me in public. It was like he would walk around as if I wasn’t even there. And dart into traffic. I had to put my foot down a couple times and tell him “look if you’re going to keep doing this then jm just going to walk around as if we aren’t together.” He didn’t like that. Same with the guy not walking on the outside of the sidewalk. Woman should never be on traffic side in case something happens. It’s a sa… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/02/21 04:28 AM |
| 1 | Can you be friends with an exes bff?Like what was all that for?? | /r/askFDS | 26/02/21 02:37 AM |
| 8 | Beware of friendships with women that crave male attention and need male validation to thrive. They will stop at nothing and drain your energy.they will drop you when the shitbag dude they’ve been crying to you about gives them an ounce of attention. Then you become the mortal enemy. Like, ok fam, he ignored you for 5 years, but he’s the love of your life. Okay. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/02/21 08:54 AM |
| 7 | Can you be friends with an exes bff?That happened to me when I dumped my ex. All his friends deleted me off Facebook and wanted nothing to do with me. My ex took it pretty hard. My dumb ass started begging for my ex back and he never spoke to me again. Then all his friends came around wanting to be friends with me and invite me to parties. They all were like “oh well you’re cool and your ex was a bad bf” and I was like wtf. To this day it is such strange behavior. | /r/askFDS | 25/02/21 08:51 AM |
| 46 | Relationships may take work and effort at times, but you should not be working and sacrificing just to get the BASICS (love, respect, consideration, etc). Know your line and what it will take for you to fold and walk away, and stick to it.I wish I could give you a hug. Anxious-avoidant trap relationships never work. I was in one too and I ran myself into the ground trying to make it work with a person who would do exactly 0 things to sacrifice and be with me. It literally drove me to a s-attempt. Actually, two of them. I thought I had BPD and all of these things. When I tell you THE MOMENT I got away from him and the orbit of his friends, new chick etc., ALL of that went away. I have still picked shitty partners after that guy bu… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/02/21 11:04 PM |
| 82 | This is it. Today after I talk with my therapist I will tell my husband that I am not happy in our marriage. Thank you FDS for helping me realize I want and DESERVE more.Girl you are so inspiring! I can only imagine your situation but your strength is shining through. I lost my parents at 20 and 23 and have been making it work with some familial support (some of my family members are dead beats/toxic too, including my only sibling) but the fact that you conquered your fear of being alone while having literally no one is admirable. We as women get way too wrapped up in that belief and it holds us back and keeps us down in toxic and unfulfilling situations. That w… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/02/21 08:01 PM |
| 112 | LVM interactions with your pets that set off alarms?He asked me if he could tell my blind and old dog to stop whining. I was raised that guests don’t try to punish/apprehend other people’s pets... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/02/21 04:08 AM |
| 11 | Is this a red flag?I dealt with a guy like this in high school. He seemed like a sweet guy. Had cool interests. I had a crush on him but this most I would do was go by his locker and say hello to him. Apparently, he thought it was okay to message me and ask “what I have done with a guy” and ask me all kinds of sexual questions. I ask him “are you trying to get to know me? I wouldn’t answer that unless I was dating them? Are you asking me on a date?” (Answer was obviously no but I was 17 at the time) and he pretty … | /r/askFDS | 22/02/21 07:55 PM |
| 86 | Stop fake laughing at men’s unfunny jokes. They really aren’t that funny...I think I suffer from a bit of social anxiety but I agree. I’ve laughed at some unfunny ass jokes for a long time just to fit in socially. If something is offensive or just plain not funny, I just look at them. Literally, just look. It usually puts the onus on them to either shape up/apologize or change the subject. People don’t like silence in conversation. I haven’t gotten the nasty feedback just yet but it’s a plausible outcome too, especially from egotistical types. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/02/21 04:37 PM |
| 9 | First comes the baby carriage...then marriage?The fact that it’s plural is just 👄 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/02/21 05:10 AM |
| 22 | TELL YO DADDY WE DON'T CARE!!! I remember seeing this show a few years back and really really wanting to high five this boss babes!!Subtract the kids part and YES MA’AM | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/02/21 12:34 AM |
| 2 | the double standards 🤦🏻♀️I agree. With my dad’s fiancé situation, I think they both share some blame, but the onus is on her for after the fact. My dad didn’t want to be married again after divorcing my mother, and his girlfriend (later fiancé) knew that, but convinced him to move in together to be a family. He did. He only proposed about 6 months before he suddenly died. So this was about 4 years into the relationship. The thing that makes her wrong in this situation was on his deathbed, she tried having a marriage cer… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/02/21 09:27 PM |
| 3 | Imagine carrying this losers baby, and he has the audacity to number the toilet paper. 🤦🏻♀️My ex bf could clog a toilet because his dumps were so massive (he said his dad was the same). They can live with excess toilet paper. Get a toilet auger if you’re that pressed. Next. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/02/21 07:03 PM |
| 6 | the double standards 🤦🏻♀️10000000% THIS SIS. Powerful reminder that gender roles and feminism don’t work the same for WOC. We didn’t have the luxury of anti-depressants and alcohol, we just had to “get over it” and take care of these peoples’ kids while neglecting our own and have to deal with society telling you you are nothing. As a WOC myself, I am coming more into my own with the fact that while I do believe in feminism, the type of struggle that I go through, that my ancestors went through, are not the same. We did… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/02/21 06:49 PM |
| 9 | the double standards 🤦🏻♀️“Todd” 💀💀💀💀💀😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/02/21 06:40 PM |
| 11 | the double standards 🤦🏻♀️This. Any dude who has the word “female” or “wifey” come out of his mouth, he’s cancelled for me. The only person I served was my grandfather during family gatherings. That was his one thing and I honestly have never respected a person more than him as a HVM, especially from his era. As the head of the family, he provided the fuck out of my grandmother. He had a successful military career and I think for a couple years she was a SAHM (in the 50s) but she had her own career as a teacher while rai… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/02/21 06:36 PM |
| 20 | What do arguments look like in a relationship with an HVM?Discussions. Attacking the problem and not the other person. Not fighting to be right or to win. | /r/askFDS | 21/02/21 12:17 AM |
| 3 | Remember: He heard you right the first timeOkay, can I get a “hell yes” on this! For someone like me who is a recovering PickMe, I would actually get emotionally invested and attached during the “talking phase” when I was younger. I felt since we had such a connection, he should be “mine.” Like no. Sometimes, I’d coerce them into asking me on a date. That actually worked for my first boyfriend. ...I thought that was a win 🤮 It was not, I manipulated him into doing what he probably should’ve been doing in the first place if he liked me al… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/02/21 08:41 PM |
| 10 | Just a thought on what you "attract"I also attract weebs and nerds etc. but a while ago, I had to get real with myself. I don’t believe in victim blaming either, but when I look back on my dating choices, there was a point in time when I had the choice between the nerdy guy or a guy who was completely “not my type” or someone who I didn’t have experience dating. I always chose the nerdy guy because, at least for me, I thought they were more “moldable” and would treat me better. But it’s only led to really exhausting relationships … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/02/21 07:52 PM |
| 1 | Black men will degrade and berate black women and want to only settle with us when their lives are in shambles. Why are black women always the ones meant to “fix” a black man who’s a mess? Kanye West needs a THERAPIST, not the labour of a ‘black queen.’I think it’s also appropriate to point out that this post is BW centric and that there should probably be a flair here to denote that this is a cultural FDS post. I’m curious, are you a BW? Because that may be why, and would make sense with your other commentary, that you find complete disagreement and may find it hard to understand the cultural lens of a situation dealing with a BM/ WW. Or in which case, you are and that’s your opinion. If so I’m happy to just agree to disagree here. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/02/21 06:16 PM |
| 23 | Black men will degrade and berate black women and want to only settle with us when their lives are in shambles. Why are black women always the ones meant to “fix” a black man who’s a mess? Kanye West needs a THERAPIST, not the labour of a ‘black queen.’Olivia Pope used to be my idol but after watching clips back from the show it has had me SCREAMING!!! Leave this man alone! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/02/21 05:35 PM |
| 1 | Black men will degrade and berate black women and want to only settle with us when their lives are in shambles. Why are black women always the ones meant to “fix” a black man who’s a mess? Kanye West needs a THERAPIST, not the labour of a ‘black queen.’I agree with you on the Kim part, but on the Taylor situation, she did lie. What Kanye did was wrong at the VMAs, but Taylor has consistently capitalized on that incident since. The song she won the award for, “You Belong With Me” was a crossover hit (and meant to be to get her out of just country) and it just so happened that that incident made her into the household name I think her team was aiming for her to be. But also, look at the optics: “Scary,” “ghetto” Black man traumatizes lily yt you… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/02/21 05:30 PM |
| 8 | Black men will degrade and berate black women and want to only settle with us when their lives are in shambles. Why are black women always the ones meant to “fix” a black man who’s a mess? Kanye West needs a THERAPIST, not the labour of a ‘black queen.’Black women learned a long time ago not to deal with Kanye. That’s why I wasn’t mad/shocked when he got with Kim. Let him run her to the ground, it’s not like she didn’t have other motives for marrying him anyway. That’s not how her family works lol | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/02/21 05:14 PM |
| 73 | Just me?I just came to this conclusion on a whim the other night. My pussy is fucking gold. It is a privilege to be allowed to have sex with me. For way too long, I threw myself at men thinking that sex was the only way for them to stay and while at least I learned a lot from those experiences, it is not a positive ideology I wish to carry anymore. A dude’s dick can literally mess up your pH, give you an STD or get you pregnant. I used to think “oh well even if I am having casual sex I am on birth contr… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/02/21 05:09 PM |
| 6 | What is something a man did that he thought was cute and romantic but was gross and insulting?Girl I was Chrissy Tiegen-faced the whole time | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/02/21 06:24 AM |
| 47 | Degrading names during sexWhy be masochistic in bed when you can practice everyday masochism just from being a woman | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/02/21 03:39 AM |
| 17 | Remember: He heard you right the first timeActions over everything. I’m sorry that you got hurt in this situation but you have the gift in knowing he told you who he was upfront. Boy bye! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/02/21 02:37 AM |
| 1 | Black women of FDS (mixed-race women can chime in too): How do you feel about the "swirler" movement?big sigh * Okay, OP, I wanted to carve some time to give you a proper answer. To preface, I’ve learned a lot from them. Like, some good practical and financial advice from yt men. And I think socially, it does benefit us BW more than hurt us. At least in my experience it has in corporate America. “Oh your bf works for the state of Texas in the legal field and comes from New Money? Better not mess with her” kind of attitudes you’ll get from the mediocre yt men who would normally dismiss and overl… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/02/21 02:17 AM |
| 1 | Having extreme dislike/hatred for the new woman? Justified or unjustified?A few reasons. For him: Lord knows I begged and pleaded for him to treat me better at the time when we were together and I thought breaking up with him would teach him a lesson. Of course I ran back to him and he didn’t want me so that hurt. For her: She’d been lurking for a while and I knew it. But the whole female empowerment thing and seemingly “helping” us both get over him was just so inappropriate. I found out she had lied about ever loving him (she’d told all his friends she was in love) … | /r/askFDS | 20/02/21 12:35 AM |
| 9 | Why I left my Fiancé. - Woman shares inspiring story of how she trusted her intuition, decided to she deserved better, and left her fiance (a man she had dated for nine years).Wow. I feel like I needed this thorough explanation when I ended a relationship that was in this trap. I actually did get to that point twice. I knew I was miserable, my close friends knew I was miserable, my family knew I was miserable, internet strangers knew I was miserable, hell, even my mother who was barely there for me knew I was miserable... and when I broke up with him it literally felt like death. Of course what did he do? Shut down and run. Vilified me. Made me the bad guy. And to thi… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/02/21 12:22 AM |
| 13 | Why I left my Fiancé. - Woman shares inspiring story of how she trusted her intuition, decided to she deserved better, and left her fiance (a man she had dated for nine years).Yes. I had a similar relationship like that when I was really young (not 9 years long by any means) and with a gamer. A female figure in my life at the time used to ask me all the time “I see you putting him first. Is he putting you first?” I had no idea what it fully meant but even in my 19 year old brain, the answer was no. I’m convinced now a relationship can’t last if the man is put first. It’s either the woman or it’s truly equal. I didn’t last long as a gamer’s girlfriend. I saw pretty qui… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/02/21 11:51 PM |
| 24 | Why am i only attracted to men who don't want me?Also, OP, please don’t take this the wrong way: but are you sure you have BPD? I am only asking because when I was younger and dating men like you described, I had BPD-like behaviors. Once I got away from them/as I matured, it went away. Of course the urges didn’t, but I didn’t act that way anymore. Have you considered it may be your environment/the people around you bringing out those tendencies? | /r/askFDS | 19/02/21 10:23 PM |
| 68 | Why am i only attracted to men who don't want me?Read “Women Who Love Too Much.” It’ll help, I promise. I’m halfway through it and.... it’s a game changer. | /r/askFDS | 19/02/21 08:06 PM |
| 9 | "Dr." Emily Morse advertises herself as a "Doctor of Human Sexuality" and Sex Therapist...but is not actually a Doctor or therapist.....of ANYTHING. Is the entire sexology industry a SCAM?Hardly | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/02/21 07:55 PM |
| 25 | "Dr." Emily Morse advertises herself as a "Doctor of Human Sexuality" and Sex Therapist...but is not actually a Doctor or therapist.....of ANYTHING. Is the entire sexology industry a SCAM?She’s no better than Shan Boody (Shannon Boodram) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/02/21 07:35 PM |
| 35 | Why I left my Fiancé. - Woman shares inspiring story of how she trusted her intuition, decided to she deserved better, and left her fiance (a man she had dated for nine years).9 years is a long time | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/02/21 04:23 PM |
| 1 | Having extreme dislike/hatred for the new woman? Justified or unjustified?So you would agree she used me? | /r/askFDS | 19/02/21 02:27 PM |
| 11 | What is something a man did that he thought was cute and romantic but was gross and insulting?Saying he was going to “cook for me” but would make enough food to feed us for dinner and the next 4 nights for him | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/02/21 05:04 AM |
| 17 | What is something a man did that he thought was cute and romantic but was gross and insulting?He tried to lip sync the words to “Ill Make Love to You” by Boyz II Men to me and knew exactly 0 of the words | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/02/21 05:04 AM |
| 18 | What is something a man did that he thought was cute and romantic but was gross and insulting?Honestly I settled for that for a few years. I thought getting banged on my birthday was IT 🤡😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/02/21 05:02 AM |
| 5 | What is something a man did that he thought was cute and romantic but was gross and insulting?He told me the song “Tired of Dreaming” by Wale was his song about me. It’s a song about fucking. Dreaming about fucking me. 21 year old me twisted that up thinking that shit was romantic. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/02/21 05:00 AM |
| 4 | Having extreme dislike/hatred for the new woman? Justified or unjustified?Even during the time when I blocked her, I (stupidly) asked my ex’s friend about why she was talking to me, who was she etc. and he told me that she was so clingy and that they were barely talking Bc he didn’t want to do long distance/she was lying about not being in love, she said it 400 times/tried to control who he talked to and his every move. But, he liked her. So I was like.... wow, ok. Funnily enough, that guy turned on me too when he tried to say my ex was only with me because I had a “b… | /r/askFDS | 19/02/21 02:39 AM |
| 1 | Having extreme dislike/hatred for the new woman? Justified or unjustified?Thanks for your thought out answer. It’s definitely something I’ve carried a lot of shame about and I told my therapist it’s hard to get peace from that situation because the experience all around was horrible for me, and I have actively disliked this girl for a long time. At the time, my roommates (who urged me to stop talking to her) were like: why would she even come back and throw that in your face (that your ex wanted her back) after weeks and also after her saying that y’all would never sp… | /r/askFDS | 19/02/21 02:24 AM |
| 2 | Men who don't ask questions (99.9%)For me, the first HVM that wanted to be with me, it was inappropriate: I was too busy crying over my NVM bf at the time. I should say he had characteristics and was a better match for me in terms of my needs and general compatibility/friendship but I wouldn’t get with him because I wasn’t “attracted” to him and bc I had sex with my NVM bf at the time I felt “my body belonged to him.” Ooh chile. I was 19 at the time. Forgive her 🤡 Second guy, I was just being stupid. He’s a great guy and he tried… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/02/21 01:11 AM |
| 2 | If you are reading this message, It was meant for you. Stop stalking your ex on social media.What is monkey-branched? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/02/21 12:33 AM |
| 8 | Too true 😁Lmao that was me for a minute, but uh, Khloe is no role model. Out here degrading Black women over a man who can’t even spell “faithful” let alone live it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/02/21 12:31 AM |
| 24 | My current (HVM) partner bought me a tapestry for my office that represents our first date (going out and photographing the NEOWISE comet together) for Vday. My last partner gave me an unsigned valentine clipped out of a newspaperOh my gosh, that is so specific, nerdy and wholesome! How sweet 💙 Love to see it! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/02/21 11:38 PM |
| 3 | Examples of HVM or healthy relationships in media?I’m a Black woman :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/02/21 11:27 PM |
| 20 | A message for the female lurkersI feel like even men (mainly older men, and this may just be my older male relatives telling me) know that most men are trash. Hmm. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/02/21 06:51 PM |
| 12 | Examples of HVM or healthy relationships in media?Why was it short-lived? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/21 06:07 AM |
| 25 | Reminder: Friends with benefits is a scam!Right? Bubble Bass lookin ass | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/21 04:49 AM |
| 12 | The single greatest diss track of all time is "Obsessed" by Mariah Carey: "Got you all fired up with your Napoleon complex, seeing right through you like you're bathing in Windex..." Someone get the fire extinguisher for these sick burns 🔥🔥🔥Me too! Ahahahaha | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/21 03:51 AM |
| 67 | The single greatest diss track of all time is "Obsessed" by Mariah Carey: "Got you all fired up with your Napoleon complex, seeing right through you like you're bathing in Windex..." Someone get the fire extinguisher for these sick burns 🔥🔥🔥She still doesn’t know him. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/21 03:51 AM |
| 137 | don’t let a man drag you downYes ma’am! I want to go back and tell my younger self that because I focused so much on duds who not even on my level. I bogged myself down over a barely functioning LDR when I was at the beginning of my college career. He didn’t care that I dumped him and I had a mental breakdown (partially for other reasons) and while he was being a loser in Loserville with his new, enabling girlfriend, I got clear on my ambitions in college and started racking up internship experience and building my portfoli… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/21 03:43 AM |
| 15 | If he is complicit among groups of LVM/NVM, he most likely (statistically speaking) also a LVM/NVM by association for perpetuating rape culture & sexism indirectly. ALWAYS take note of how men talk about women they do not like or find attractive when we are not listening. They tell on themselvesAgreed. I knew this to be true as a BW who has dated white men. I used to think “oh, well his parents are racist, his friends are racist and his coworkers are racist but he says he doesn’t agree with racism or condone it.” Then when we were more comfortable together, guess who had to fend off racist jokes alone while my bf thought it was funny? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/21 12:19 AM |
| 13 | Black women of FDS (mixed-race women can chime in too): How do you feel about the "swirler" movement?I did it for 10 years, save the headache don’t do it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/02/21 11:46 PM |
| 27 | Anyone deal with Maladaptive daydreaming and has successfully broken the habit?I don’t have many tips to offer but I do the same thing. It’s maladaptive because it’s a insufficient way to cope with stress or trauma. Maybe something happened in your life that caused you to want to escape into that world? Right now, just coming to terms that I don’t have to slip away into the daydreaming seems to have been a step in the right direction. I am the main character in my stories, and I recognized that I’ve created a fantasy, perfect me in order to cope with life. The thing is tho… | /r/askFDS | 15/02/21 10:58 PM |
| 1 | Men can be a gamer OR he can have a girlfriend. Not both.Yep then told me to come home during breaks.... only to be ignored the whole time or told he can’t see me because he has other obligations. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/02/21 10:51 PM |
| 3 | Men can be a gamer OR he can have a girlfriend. Not both.Thank you for that! After writing all that out I realized that that dude was never on my level to begin with. This was back in 2012 when I had moved off to university, I was active at school, meeting new friends, having new experiences etc while trying to make it work with some dude who literally wouldn’t leave his grandparents’ basement. I mean seriously. I remember he gave me shit for partying and going out and wanting to... idk go to a concert or go out to dinner some time together as a coupl… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/02/21 10:41 PM |
| 8 | Why FDS is Crucial if Motherhood is a GoalThisssss | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/02/21 10:26 PM |
| 8 | For the man who thinks that wiping their own poopy butt is “gay”I love it too! They really are disgusting. I’ve yet to meet a man who has a clean bathroom. That should be bare minimum. Who wants to shit in a radioactive toilet? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/02/21 07:34 PM |
| 2 | She is right, society pushes us to give “nice guys” a chance even if we are not attracted to themI agree. This will sound terrible, but I thought by picking the nerdy ones they’d treat you nicer bc they had less to lose than a non nerd. They are less threatening. You could help them along the way (aka mold a prince) but it wasn’t like that at all, and for all the reasons you listed. It was more of teach him how to try to do basic things for you in a relationship. It is exhausting, yet I went back for more. I have had flings with non nerds but never relationships. After my most recent ex (wh… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/02/21 06:56 PM |
| 27 | Men can be a gamer OR he can have a girlfriend. Not both.Yeah, I dated a gamer in college right as he was turning pro. It was a sad and miserable experience because I had met him at college in our hometown thinking he was just a regular dude with a retail job trying to get credits to go to university. I was essentially doing the same thing. But he was a lousy boyfriend. Everything was always on his terms, he only wanted to watch tv and relax when we were together (so taking me on dates was something I had to beg for) and I didn’t really know the exten… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/02/21 05:30 PM |
| 8 | Grand gestures and why they are not (mostly not) romantic:Yeah I had a bf that did that too. He was really inconsiderate and would just forget to give me details on a plan or forget to invite me out somewhere and I would tell him how I felt about it. Every time, he would take me out to eat to say “sorry” but it kept happening. I felt like it was just a cheap band aid on the problem, and one that I was used to— my parents did that in my teen years because they felt bad for moving every year and a half... but they kept doing it anyway lol. So I knew this… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/02/21 09:17 AM |
| 24 | Insecure men will always find a pickme so they can feel better about their non-existent effortsHonestly, I don’t buy when women say “I don’t need anything for Valentine’s Day. It’s just a holiday.” I think that is Grade A Pick Me behavior. It comes from “not like the other girls” types who feel if they seem “easy going” and “low maintenance” it will make it easier on the guy to pick her and love her. Every woman wants to feel appreciated, even if it’s in a different way. One woman may want a whole room of flowers while another finds a single rose to be their thing. Or a new game. Or choco… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/02/21 08:56 AM |
| 46 | Don't stay with anyone you're not proud ofYep! Same with a partner who is proud of me. I am an ambitious woman who accomplishes my goals and have been with men who were threatened by me going off to university, getting a big girl job and even getting a well paying job. 3 different boyfriends, people. They are threatened if you do well for yourself. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/02/21 05:50 AM |
| 9 | Getting an “I Love You” isn’t all thatDude, back in those days all it took was for a man I thought was hot to think I was hot too for me to sleep with them 🥴😪 Thats how much I wanted to be desired and hopefully, eventually loved. Except for my first bf—- I believe it was “ill never hurt you or leave you” and “it’s just you and me baby” 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/02/21 03:37 AM |
| 10 | Comments full of women saying "just communicate" and "that's toxic"I thought it was the HUSBAND that gave HER the pictures of the girls, but it’s the other way around. Still nothing to communicate about. She needs to leave. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/02/21 02:57 AM |
| 9 | Getting an “I Love You” isn’t all thatThat’s a really good point! It made me think of people who I’ve encountered in life that didn’t always say “I love you” but there was an unspoken part about the relationship that was there that you understood was mutual and loving (spending quality time, feeling comfortable to express yourself around them, being doted on by them, showing genuine interest and care for one another) etc. I think I am a big words person, though it is quite ironic that some of my most treasured friendships have come … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/02/21 02:52 AM |
| -3 | Comments full of women saying "just communicate" and "that's toxic"I’m sorry, what is there to communicate after receiving something so insulting like this? You have to be kidding. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/02/21 02:30 AM |
| 5 | For the man who thinks that wiping their own poopy butt is “gay”You can grab one on Amazon! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/02/21 02:27 AM |
| 44 | For the man who thinks that wiping their own poopy butt is “gay”This reminds me of introducing my ex boyfriend to bleach because his toilet was literally ORANGE and there was a black ring around his toilet. When he told his OG Girlfriend(TM), I mean his mother, that I made him buy bleach and to clean his bathroom, she was insulted and said bleach was “too harsh” and a ridiculous choice to pick. But she also knew his bathroom was horrible and her tactics to get him to idk, fucking clean, didn’t work. Thankfully I am away from both of them. laughs in Black Wom… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/02/21 02:25 AM |
| 81 | For the man who thinks that wiping their own poopy butt is “gay”“Is it gay to walk down the baby aisle and get some wipes?” “Is it gay to walk down the toilet paper aisle and get flushable wipes?” “Is it gay to go to the store?” “Is it gay that I shit?” “Is it gay I have a butt with a hole?” Actual questions from the Dude Wipes Focus Group | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/02/21 11:15 PM |
| 18 | What’s the most important thing you’ve learned since discovering FDS?Yeah......... I saw this with my dad and my grandpa on my moms side. My parents had a really unstable marriage and when they separated, my dad immediately started dating. Like my mom left at the beginning of 2011, and by that summer he was already in a serious relationship. That woman was the absolute devil though. A covert narcissist who thought she was smart (she wasn’t lol). It was hell to get rid of her. With my grandpa, I don’t really know the exact reasons why he and my grandma divorced, b… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/02/21 08:55 PM |
| 61 | What’s the most important thing you’ve learned since discovering FDS?18-24 y/o me needed to know that. 28 y/o me does now. Sexual attraction is cheap. Literally you can fuck a tree. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/02/21 08:40 PM |
| 20 | What’s the most important thing you’ve learned since discovering FDS?Compassion and empathy for my younger self.**Whoa baby I was choosing losers! **I didn’t learn to have/express compassion and empathy very often. I thought I didn’t even deserve it, but now I am getting better at knowing that I absolutely do! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/02/21 08:29 PM |
| 24 | She is right, society pushes us to give “nice guys” a chance even if we are not attracted to themOh my GOD, yes!!! I’ve never heard it put so eloquently. That’s exactly how I felt a lot of the time: it was me trying to plan dates, me feeling that yes he’s a great friend but maybe not the best in terms of a serious bf or even a father (couldn’t even think about that) and generally not feeling like I could call on “my man” in a time of need. One dude had a pretty routine wife-beater-and-cargo-shorts-get-up and I thought that was IT, girl! Haha. But yeah, my last relationship was a glaring exa… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/02/21 08:46 PM |
| 10 | Ah yes, my mission in life.I just wanna know where she got her top because it is ADORABLE 🛍 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/02/21 07:00 PM |
| 85 | She is right, society pushes us to give “nice guys” a chance even if we are not attracted to themYeah, this was my mantra but instead of “nice” guys, it was “nerdy” guys. Because they’re “less likely to be players” so they’d be nice to you. Lol nope. While some I dated I was attracted to, they had some emotional issues, dealt with gaming addiction and weren’t great boyfriends. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/02/21 06:44 PM |
| 3 | If he’s not making you feel like this in bed, dump himExamples? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/02/21 04:51 AM |
| 14 | Decided to dump boyfriend because he didn't even pay for my coffee on valentine's!!!Yes I’m curious | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/02/21 12:41 AM |
| 3 | Thanks to FDS I realized I should not be dating at all and instead work on my self and my personal life.Link??? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/02/21 07:45 PM |
| 11 | My pick me "stepmom "She sounds like a peach /s I think your best bet is going to be having some solid boundaries with all parties involved. First being, do not call this woman “stepmother” until she has earned that place in your life to be so. I made the same mistake doing that for my dad’s fiancé (he passed before they got married) and this woman ended up being a narcissist and trying to forge documents, steal, act like my mom (his ex wife) didn’t exist etc when she wanted to get my father’s money. So be very care… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/02/21 07:39 PM |
| 38 | If he’s not making you feel like this in bed, dump himI mean... after 2.5 years of struggle sex with my ex, yeah I agree. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/02/21 07:11 PM |
| 6 | I always faked my orgasmsThey can feel our contractions when we cum. He knew. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/02/21 04:38 PM |
| 22 | What are your thoughts on this? I was raised to pick up after myself, and help the host clean up if needed. Male/female doesn’t matter. Does that make me a pick me? :/This sounds like an awful group of people | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/02/21 03:58 PM |
| 9 | COSMO wants y’all to know that Armie Hammer’s Cannibalism Fetish isn’t the problem here and people are “distorting” it. Because nothing screams “safe and sane” like Cannibalism Play.Lapsed/lazy Christian here. I think maybe she means in terms of the phrase “Yall mf need Jesus” kind of way. I agree though, a lot of religious people are v sexually repressed and as a result sexually aggressive | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/02/21 03:16 PM |
| 5 | COSMO wants y’all to know that Armie Hammer’s Cannibalism Fetish isn’t the problem here and people are “distorting” it. Because nothing screams “safe and sane” like Cannibalism Play.Isn’t Shallon on the list of recommended YouTubers for FDS? Last I checked....... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/02/21 03:14 PM |
| 14 | COSMO wants y’all to know that Armie Hammer’s Cannibalism Fetish isn’t the problem here and people are “distorting” it. Because nothing screams “safe and sane” like Cannibalism Play.I’m so tired of hearing about this dude | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/02/21 03:12 PM |
| 14 | Not sure where I fit....Why are you yelling at my younger self??? GEEZ IT IS LOUD IN HERE 🥴🥴🥴😂 | /r/askFDS | 12/02/21 03:47 AM |
| 286 | If a man tells you he won't put in effort, he won't.Tia Mowry’s (an actress I adore) husband was a struggling actor and broke when they first got together and he spent his last $5 his paycheck to buy her flowers “just because” he knew she loved flowers and wanted to make her feel special. Dude can make it work if he knows you like/want to celebrate Valentine’s Day. Don’t let him put words in your mouth talking about “you don’t need it” / “it’s cheesy” etc. If it matters to you, it matters to you | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/02/21 03:46 AM |
| 11 | Scrotes mad! How dare we value our time and peace. Have you been blocking and deleting people more since you've learned about FDS?Attitude doesn’t = passion. Get a dictionary like wtf | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/02/21 10:43 PM |
| 4 | Which red flag shall we pick first?Honestly, I would never date this guy and he sounds dangerous, but sometimes I be in a mood like that (fight mode activated meme here) BEFORE I AM DRAGGED: This is in absolutely no way an endorsement for excusing a convicted felon or of violence. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/02/21 03:18 PM |
| 7 | More dating coaches rubbishI listened to his videos when I was begging LVM exes in my early 20s 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/02/21 07:23 PM |
| 63 | What is a HVM?Yeah I learned that last year. Going for a nice guy is just meaning settling for a fake nice guy. The one that tries to prove to the world he’s so nice to you but is actually selfish and manipulative | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/02/21 07:20 PM |
| 36 | Pickme BRANDS herself with degrading tattoo ahead of marriage to LVM.This. Wasn’t she also super defensive when her coworkers were pointing out her lack of professionalism when she dipped on showing a house so she could go to his kid’s birthday party? She was mad her coworker was late to the showing that she was covering for Heather. Like girl, those aren’t your kids. Why are you pressed about it? She gives off the vibe that she’s desperate to get married and thinks Tarik is the prize. Idk if he is, don’t know anything about him. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/02/21 07:39 PM |
| 8 | Pickme BRANDS herself with degrading tattoo ahead of marriage to LVM.What was the drama? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/02/21 07:35 PM |
| 7 | Ever notice how the reasons why women hate men are drastically different than the reasons why men hate women?And tired. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/02/21 03:53 PM |
| 2 | Where's the lie?????Harry is 36 years old. How can a 36 year old be deprogrammed by anyone? People treat him like he’s a 2 year old or something. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/02/21 09:15 PM |
| 3 | Today's Mood:A rare photo of me at the tail end of my last relationship. Me: I’m not your therapist Him: I don’t want you to be my therapist Also Him: I don’t know what to do with my abusive alcoholic mom she won’t stop drinking it’s embarrassing and it’s ruining our relationship (no it’s not, you are, dude) and this IS the last time I’m going to see her SHE NEEDS HELP IM DONE WITH HER BABY IM DONE BUT I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO Also him: She really didn’t steal the alcohol and total a car and hit a deer and als… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/02/21 12:39 PM |
| 6 | I made a terrible decision of checking my ex's instagram and now I feel awfilGo girl! 👏🏾 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/02/21 10:58 AM |
| 9 | I made a terrible decision of checking my ex's instagram and now I feel awfilHopefully you didn’t go back | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/02/21 10:06 AM |
| 61 | Where's the lie?????They are? I haven’t seen any posts about Kate or Meghan yet, tbh. Do you have a couple threads? IMO both Kate and Meghan are fine, but their goals are different. I honestly think Kate could’ve done better than Will since she was strung along by Will for a decade but the reward was Queen Consort. I get it. I do not get the Meghan hate at all. And to clarify, the sham and a half was Charles and Diana’s marriage. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/02/21 09:31 AM |
| 25 | I made a terrible decision of checking my ex's instagram and now I feel awfilOoof. OP I can attest to #3. Got treated like mega shit by my first boyfriend (who became a gaming streamer 🤮) and I ended up dumping him because he ignored me for weeks and wouldn’t even come out for our anniversary or when I came home from being long distance. He quickly wrote me off and started to string along a PickMeisha who was all up on his stream and trying to be with him (I spent too much time after the breakup still lurking). Anyway, this poor girl comes to me months later and says wah… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/02/21 09:24 AM |
| 31 | I made a terrible decision of checking my ex's instagram and now I feel awfilDidn’t even think about the “amazing” treatment was just a cover up for treating the previous woman badly. WOW. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/02/21 09:09 AM |
| 16 | Even before FDS I believed in blocking and cutting tiesI didn’t believe in it when I was 18-24. I’ve since implemented it now because usually after a breakup, regardless of whether I’m the dumper or dumpee, I want my space and I know I have a tendency to try to go on-and-off with someone and this is the best way to keep it at “off.” My block list is anywhere between 30-50 people lmao It took a long time for me to realize that because everyone around me had told me how immature it is to block and delete people from Facebook. That it’s “petty.” I’ve a… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/02/21 07:32 AM |
| 50 | Where's the lie?????I used to think it was romantic that a man would give the woman his grandmother’s ring or an heirloom ring. I think it depends on if grandpa got a fucking ROCK for grandma, though it’s probably not as likely considering the time frame. I think a nice compromise would be something like what Prince Harry and Meghan did, she chose a few stones out of Princess Diana’s collection of (rich af people) jewels and had a custom ring. Which brings me to pivot: Prince William’s wife, Kate Middleton, has his… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/02/21 07:15 AM |
| 6 | Stop talking to him at the very first sign of disinterest/lazinessThat makes a lot of sense. The dude that told me that claimed he was “he for she” (when that was a thing in like 2015). He was definitely selfish | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/02/21 12:58 AM |
| 37 | Stop talking to him at the very first sign of disinterest/lazinessOh no no no. Later down the line he would’ve probably told you “I’ll treat you sometimes but you need to pay for yourself too.” had it gone further. I dated a guy like this. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/02/21 10:16 PM |
| 23 | Stop talking to him at the very first sign of disinterest/lazinessThis. I would excuse all kinds of red flags like these because my crush on them was far greater than actually seeing them for what they were (lazy and LV). No matter how cute he is or how big (you think) his dick is, if he wanted to he would, ladies. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/02/21 10:13 PM |
| 14 | No wife experience for girlfriend pricesCan we get a list of examples of girlfriend vs. wife behaviors so we have to reference if we’re recovering from being a PickMe? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/02/21 07:53 PM |
| 5 | Can we talk about women who cancel on their friends so they can hang out with a guy?Also let a friend go partially because of this not too long ago. We already were drifting apart anyway (she ended up being a racist), and in a fight she tried to call me a shitty friend because I told her I wasn’t comfortable talking to her about George Floyd. Mind you, I’d been there for her through all kinds of abuse she endured during our 6 year friendship, and she was there for me for my shit and when I was in a relationship but I never dropped her for my bf at the time. Anyway, once I told … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/02/21 11:26 PM |
| 1 | Can we talk about women who cancel on their friends so they can hang out with a guy?Does that mean he’s going to be a better man for the woman he has to chase though? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/02/21 11:16 PM |
| 6 | Can we talk about women who cancel on their friends so they can hang out with a guy?I still have a clear memory of doing this when I was 18 (I’m 28 now). It was a month or so before graduation and one of my best friends at the time wanted to get a few last hangouts in before we went off to separate schools. She wanted to do something wholesome like watch a movie at her house and listen to records together. But I cancelled on her and gave her a BS reason because my FWB at the time asked me to “chill” with him aka give him head after already telling me he didn’t want to be my boy… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/02/21 11:14 PM |
| 34 | What are some of the most difficult realizations you’ve had about men ?That if you set the expectation low, they’ll gladly follow it. Evidence: I had abandonment issues when I dated my first boyfriend. I told (begged) him, “please don’t leave me.” And, he didn’t. He just treated me like garbage because all I required him to do was stay with me. Que Surprised Pikachu face when I had enough and left him. It was because he thought I’d never leave either bc that’s all that was expected and required. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/02/21 07:32 AM |
| 17 | What do we think? https://www.elle.com/life-love/a35398184/alienation-of-affection-lawsuits/While I agree that we shouldn’t take another woman down, we have to remember just like there are Ruthless Strategists in this group, there are some Ruthless PickMe’s that do not give a fuck that a man is married and will carry on with meeting him. Some go as far as demonizing the wife and defending this man’s actions bc they feel that this married man is hers! No no, this is not a woman who thought she was seeing someone single and was blindsided to know she was married and then high tailed out … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/02/21 08:50 PM |
| 12 | What do we think? https://www.elle.com/life-love/a35398184/alienation-of-affection-lawsuits/If she knew he was married and continued on, why not? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/02/21 08:43 PM |
| 21 | Dita Von Teese breaks her silence on Brian Warner aka "Marilyn Manson"Yeah, and that’s wrong too. He doesn’t get any sympathy for me at all, but it also doesn’t mean Amber Heard didn’t beat him. There is evidence. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/02/21 02:20 AM |
| 27 | Dita Von Teese breaks her silence on Brian Warner aka "Marilyn Manson"I think the Johnny Depp situation is different than Marilyn Manson because (1) it wasn’t just Vanessa that spoke up for Johnny (2) Amber Heard had a history of abusing other partners in the past, and was even arrested for it (3) She admitted on tape that she was hitting and slapping him during an argument and that he was a “bitch” /deserved it. I think she was just got with an older, established actor to help her career and when she couldn’t twist and control him they way she wanted, her true co… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/02/21 10:03 PM |
| 21 | I broke up with my boyfriend todayI’m sorry to hear that and I’m glad you’re away from him. He sounds emotionally unavailable, which is not your problem. I had a boyfriend when I was 18 who was like that too, he even ignored me after we became intimate for the very first time. Sent him this long mushy text message and he ignored me for days after but when we were together, he said he felt so close to me and that he thought I was amazing and all this other stuff. It was confusing and so hurtful. He would ignore our Skype dates, w… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/02/21 09:34 PM |
| 4 | fetishization of black woman beautifully explained!Well said 👏🏾 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/02/21 05:29 PM |
| 13 | An Ideal relationshipIs it saying the girl is active on social media about her life but doesn’t put her relationship online? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/02/21 07:39 AM |
| 6 | fear of being the bad guyPlease read: “Codependent No More.” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/02/21 07:36 AM |
| 2 | The Peter Pan “momma’s boy” is a Narcissist tooIt’s really interesting too because his mom wanted me to get him to “grow up” so bad and do basic things like properly furnish his apartment (he had everything he needed but he had hand me down furniture ... from his parents), clean his disgusting bathroom (it had THE RING around the toilet and hair on the baseboards, orange goo in the shower) and update his style but like.. that’s not my job. I only helped with the bathroom thing because I refused to put my ass on his toilet, so I made him buy … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/02/21 07:20 AM |
| 4 | I’m so sorry for sharing this...I needed a laugh 😂 this thread did the trick | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/02/21 06:17 AM |
| 4 | The Peter Pan “momma’s boy” is a Narcissist tooIt’s so fucking creepy | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/02/21 05:12 AM |
| 48 | fetishization of black woman beautifully explained!Just putting this here as a single comment: Yt women have the ultimate currency across the board socially: they are the beauty standard, #1 desired for men in terms of ‘choices,’ considered the example of womanhood, softness and motherhood, most believed out of any group of women in terms of harassment, rape and other crimes, are able to get more resources than WOC... I mean the list goes on. In the hierarchy, under yt men are yt women. Sure, there’s lots of studies that show that self esteem of… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/02/21 09:22 PM |
| 77 | fetishization of black woman beautifully explained!Mmmmmm, I don’t think so. And discord like this needs to stop. Yt women have the ultimate currency across the board socially: they are the beauty standard, #1 desired for men in terms of ‘choices,’ considered the example of womanhood, softness and motherhood, most believed out of any group of women in terms of harassment, rape and other crimes, are able to get more resources than WOC... I mean the list goes on. In the hierarchy, under yt men are yt women. Sure, there’s lots of studies that show … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/02/21 09:21 PM |
| 1 | fetishization of black woman beautifully explained!Mmmmmm, I don’t think so. And discord like this needs to stop. Yt women have the ultimate currency across the board socially: they are the beauty standard, #1 desired for men in terms of ‘choices,’ considered the example of womanhood, softness and motherhood, most believed out of any group of women in terms of harassment, rape and other crimes, are able to get more resources than WOC... I mean the list goes on. In the hierarchy, under yt men are yt women. Sure, there’s lots of studies that show … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/02/21 09:20 PM |
| 7 | There should be a website where we can leave reviews for men we've dated.Sorry I had to laugh at this omg 😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/02/21 09:04 PM |
| 3 | There should be a website where we can leave reviews for men we've dated.It used to exist when I was in college. It was called “Lula” or something like that. There wasn’t a whole lot of traction on it though, it maybe lasted a year/year and a half. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/02/21 08:37 PM |
| 1 | I am not a piece of candy, and no you cannot “try me”This. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/02/21 04:25 PM |
| 18 | How I feel seeing a “Hey How have things been?” Message from my ExYeah that happened 4 years after a bad breakup with my first boyfriend. From what I heard, his PickMe ex girlfriend got him to understand what a shitty boyfriend and person he was and he hit rock bottom and was looking to make somewhat of amends. Anyway he did they “Hey! How are you? Let’s grab lunch or dinner!” and I was like (in my head)... I had a mental breakdown bc of that relationship. You’d cut me out of your life when I dumped you and then went for a rebound chick 2 weeks later and you b… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/02/21 03:22 PM |
| 6 | Advice neededNo, he’s a dick. He wasn’t in the marriage, he doesn’t get to decide which “side” he believes more. The side he needs to believe is that the marriage is over. Nothing else to say right now. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/02/21 10:22 AM |
| 26 | I unfollowed my ex’s family on social mediaDelete, delete, delete. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/02/21 10:20 AM |
| 26 | The Peter Pan “momma’s boy” is a Narcissist tooI hadn’t thought about it that way, but it is surely interesting. My last relationship was pretty serious and it was evident that his mother was a textbook narcissist; she was the center of the family as everyone and everything revolves around her and her wants. My ex boyfriend was afraid of her, yet never admitted it. It became evident that we were going to have problems when his mother (from my perspective) “started” throwing fits. For example, my ex and I agreed we’d trade off holidays- thank… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/02/21 10:04 AM |
| 20 | As of today, February 1, 2021, I am DONE being a pick-me doormat!Girl I just want to tell you that I am SO happy for you! You are NOT alone. I am also 28, and dealt with bullshit from NVM from 18-just newly 27. You will learn so much about yourself and transform yourself into who YOU want to be. Kick this guy OUT and start your new life. Congrats ❤️❤️ EDIT: From 18 to 27 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/02/21 09:01 PM |
| 9 | You can feel as fake-empowered about hookups as you want. It doesn't change the fact that this is how men think.True | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/02/21 07:19 PM |
| 5 | Pickmeisha friend is helping me weed out all the NVM/LVM in my lifeUgh yes. That happened-ish when I was a teenager. I’d recently broken up with my NVM ex boyfriend who was a gaming streamer and he had flocked to this HUGE PickMe who was fawning over him and obsessed with him on his stream. She lived nowhere near us so it was even more strange. When he chewed her up and spat her out after months of using her as a rebound, she came crying to me about how he used her to get over me and how sad she was and “didn’t care,” while also totally invalidating my actual r… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/02/21 04:30 PM |
| 5 | Found close friend’s bf on tinder, lies presumeKarma worked itself out. If a man came between your friendship, it wasn’t strong to begin with | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/02/21 03:47 PM |
| 5 | INCELS and guys with anger issues need to read this. Your inceldom is not an excuse to unleash your abuse while calling it "the red pill rage"Twitch is a really toxic place anyway. They don’t really enforce any rules for their partners/content creators to begin with, so I’m not surprised something like this happened. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/02/21 03:34 PM |
| 45 | What LVM really mean when they say...Yep | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/02/21 03:00 PM |
| 194 | You can feel as fake-empowered about hookups as you want. It doesn't change the fact that this is how men think.Reminds me of Bridesmaids when Kristen Wiig’s shitty sorta boyfriend (Jon Hamm) told her, “You’ll always be my #4!” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/02/21 08:03 AM |
| 36 | I am so beyond done being the mommy-maid-therapist figure and I honestly think I will remain single for the rest of my life. Love is simply not enough.Even if that’s the case, it’s still a confidence booster after what her shitbag husband told her. The commenter didn’t say her friend was engaging with and/or dating these men. Just that they’re very interested in her, for one reason or another. I think it’s reasonable to a degree to have an outside confirmation that for once, after mental and emotional torture, that you’re not just someone’s “unattractive” bangmaid who is only there to support their shitty husband’s drinking habit. Point is, he… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/02/21 04:56 AM |
| 35 | This belongs here 😂Wow, I didn’t know they were still together! It sounds like they’re headed on the same road Zoella and Alfie Deyes. They moved in together yet he refuses to marry her even though she wants to settle down and have a family instead of sitting on their mountain of YT money and making pointless videos about their latest home remodel. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/02/21 02:59 AM |
| 46 | This belongs here 😂Omg I didn’t even think about that in that way! You’re so right. Literally none of the men I’ve dated have/had lived by themselves. They all had roommates or they lived at home with Grammy and Grandpy. Meanwhile, I lived with roommates in college but once I graduated, I’ve lived alone ever since. I have no idea why women would move in with men who have never lived alone before— I’m assuming they’d just look at it like another roommate situation than taking it to the next level. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/02/21 02:56 AM |
| 2 | Do LVM’s ever change?Also, update: the new wife is pregnant with his baby 🥴🥴🥴 girl is stuck now | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/01/21 08:52 PM |
| 44 | I am not a piece of candy, and no you cannot “try me”I’m so sorry. And I’m also not surprised one bit. A lot of people are saying it’s due to the online dating sphere that you’re getting these comments, and it’s not. These are what men of different races actually think about Black women. We’re undesirable, loud and ghetto but somehow we’re sexual prizes. Food-like. A conquest. A “See! I’m not racist!” meter. I’m Black as well and have dealt with this my entire dating life, these men (particularly yt men) think of us as objects, conquests and fanta… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/01/21 08:14 PM |
| 16 | found this in the wild and I can't stop laughingEven after a complete bomb out, we still found it possible to clean our ass properly and completely. Hmm. I used to fold my first bf’s clothes when he’d sleep over and 2 things were happening: His shorts were literally made out of paper (like he got the absolute cheapest kind from Walmart) Baby skidmarks I thought that was “charming.” Well, when all you consume is Dominoes, water and tuna packets, your stomach is gonna be fucked up. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/01/21 07:45 PM |
| 30 | 🙏At the end of the day I am glad I didn’t end up with any of my exes, either. It just took a while for my emotions to catch up to it when it happened (with the exception of my most recent ex... I was left emotionally drained so I didn’t care anymore). They were all losers. I had a pretty strong Loser Picker (TM) for a solid 10 years. Maybe they’ve gotten better, idk. Good thing is they are blocked and I don’t care to see or know them anymore. I don’t know that version of me anymore. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/01/21 05:25 AM |
| 17 | What Red Flags Have You Ignored That Later Became the Reason You LeftThe fact that he never wanted to take me out on dates, or really leave the house to do anything. Turns out he was turning into a pro eSports player aka addicted to League of Legends Thought recreational drugs was ok & honestly was pretty manipulative. Dumped him when he made it clear that moving into a house with his drug dealer was “fine” and then manipulated me to stay with him for another month only to dump me back Possessive/ controlling/manipulative. Turns out he learned the ropes from his … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/01/21 06:14 AM |
| 20 | YALL. I know this convo ain’t itI’m not defending this guy, but he had it right when he talked about hair. Especially Black women’s hair. Black women are forced to go to specialty stores (that aren’t even owned by members of their community) to find products for their hair or go to Walmart and find their hair products locked up while products for “everyone’s hair” are not. They’re told their hair is ugly, unprofessional and unmanageable. It’s not equal to child birth at all. I think there needs to be cultural sensitivity in te… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/01/21 08:03 PM |
| 7 | I gave this man my number 2 days ago. I ended up blocking him bc he was doing too much. He told me I’m “not engaging” with him. But who has time to text back and forth all day? I have a life lol. So this is his message after he realized I blocked him on WhatsApp. He’s 45.Satisfied? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/01/21 07:51 PM |
| 68 | I gave this man my number 2 days ago. I ended up blocking him bc he was doing too much. He told me I’m “not engaging” with him. But who has time to text back and forth all day? I have a life lol. So this is his message after he realized I blocked him on WhatsApp. He’s 45.He just wanted to “teach you a lesson” because his ego is bruised. Delete. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/01/21 07:50 PM |
| 108 | These are the men who want you to be honoured they let you be in their presence.I dated a guy who would wash dishes with soap and sponge at his parents house, but would throw an unwashed dish straight into the dishwasher because “the dishwasher is going to do it’s job and clean it anyway.” He tried that shit when he stayed at my house. I asked him “would you do this at your mothers house?” Him: “....no.” Me: “So don’t do it here.” Him: 👁👄👁 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/01/21 07:36 PM |
| 2 | mAyBe hE's dEpReSsEd, yOu sHouLd bE HeLpiNg HiMSo how do you see people coping with the wrong partners? Cheat? Stay miserable? Divorce? Live separately? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/01/21 02:51 PM |
| 13 | The importance of learning to think "not my problem" when a man tries to make you responsible for any of his issues or mess or dickAgreed 100%. Google helped me decide what to do when he insisted on coming by. My gut told me “don’t see him” (and I genuinely wanted to get away from him). We owe our exes nothing when the relationship is over. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/01/21 07:25 AM |
| 2 | The housework user typeYeah. What it was was he just found her hot. Like she was his type (plain Jane kind of homely, thin blonde woman) and thought I didn’t notice (I’m not yt and curvy). Emma.... seems like she’s smart but her comments are stupid. I was over her when she said she was “self partnered.” Just say single or unmarried, girl. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/01/21 06:57 AM |
| 1 | His GF refused to bow to him, so he tired to kill her.Read “Chad” and clicked out 🙄 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/01/21 05:31 AM |
| 10 | The housework user typeLearned my lesson when my “He for She” ex boyfriend called the waitress a “bitch” to her face. That’s so flattering /s | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/01/21 05:04 AM |
| 63 | The importance of learning to think "not my problem" when a man tries to make you responsible for any of his issues or mess or dickI’m getting to the stage of “not my problem” and walking away no matter the reaction. The codependent in me wants to people please when they throw a fit or try to manipulate me. And I’ve fallen for it plenty of times in the past, but I’m just... over it. My last boyfriend clearly made me the villain in the breakup because he still allowed his violent alcoholic mother/enabling family to disrespect me but wanted to still be with me. I had enough, told him he needs to stand up to his mama because h… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/01/21 01:21 AM |
| 6 | I'm begging of youuu, please take this low value manGood for you! They can swap diseases. At the time, yeah I was internally struggling with the fact that he begged for her back and not me, so it took a lot of strength to act on an Aha! moment and say that to the girl and my ex’s friend that they can have each other (my logic and emotions hadn’t synced up yet). However, now that I am older, I understand why he went back to her. If he went back to me, he would’ve had to face the fact that he had a gaming addiction and with dating me, you had to co… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/01/21 10:33 PM |
| 3 | My friend is all set to marry an LVMAgreed. Keep fighting the good fight ❤️ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/01/21 10:23 PM |
| 132 | mAyBe hE's dEpReSsEd, yOu sHouLd bE HeLpiNg HiMNah. People settle in marriage too. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/01/21 11:36 AM |
| 16 | A male once told me 'If his apartment is too well done/tidy, there's an 85% chance another woman is in the picture' and shit has added up sinceHair in the shower 🤮 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/01/21 09:48 AM |
| 47 | A male once told me 'If his apartment is too well done/tidy, there's an 85% chance another woman is in the picture' and shit has added up sinceAnd always check out his bathroom, ladies! If he got that ring around the toilet bowl... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/01/21 08:44 AM |
| 14 | My friend is all set to marry an LVMI don’t have anything to offer advice wise (I’m Black so not as familiar with Desi culture), but I am glad you are looking out for your friend regardless. She is lucky to have a friend like you that cares and genuinely looking out for her. And equally happy to see a post that is about another culture instead of yt American. WOC are put through a whole different level of shit we have to put up with and we deserve to unlearn toxic patterns and expect/demand better treatment just like yt women. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/01/21 08:42 AM |
| 37 | I just read 85% of affairs start in the workplaceClose quarters and spending a significant amount of time together. I learned this lesson when I was 18 working at a restaurant. EVERYONE talks and EVERYONE is fucking each other. Had a fling with a dirty bastard, was shamed for it, got away from that location and never dated another coworker again. At a new restaurant, it was so amusing to watch all the drama go down because people were passing partners (one guy was literally two timing one girl named Mary Cate and his girlfriend Ashley at the s… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/01/21 08:32 AM |
| 14 | Why do men make idols of these emotionless, pseudo-deep characters that are almost always narcissistic and disrespectful towards women?Fill me in. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/01/21 07:39 AM |
| 40 | Why do men make idols of these emotionless, pseudo-deep characters that are almost always narcissistic and disrespectful towards women?Damn you Jon Hamm for being handsome and having BDE bc Don Draper was a ball of TRASH. One of the best scenes was when Betty (who is trash in her own right) finally tells him about his lying ass self. He literally thought he was good at playing her for stupid. And he was... for a while. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/01/21 07:28 AM |
| 8 | Never let an abuser write the script.This whole look I can’t 😂😂😂💀 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/01/21 07:25 AM |
| 48 | I'm begging of youuu, please take this low value man“You can have him” is the one of most empowering mindsets you can have. If a man doesn’t want you and wants the other chick, she can have him. I will never fight for a dude or another chick for a dude, but I damn sure tried once. I was 19 and had painfully low self esteem trying to beg my ex boyfriend (who I dumped!) back. I used to read those “Get Your Ex Back” /Matthew Hussey type bullshit articles and thought manipulation was the way to go to get him to stop gaming and neglecting me. It was n… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/01/21 07:22 AM |
| 17 | Lord deliver us.Lmao I snorted. That’s my ex bf with his dad bod and pot belly 👀 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/01/21 07:04 AM |
| 24 | Give what you get 🤷♀️The “when’s the last time he consoled you” part was about her bf (not pictured) who didn’t console her when her whole family died and she kept hanging onto him. But yes, the dude pictured was a snake and a half and he and the people in the village love bombed the hell out of her while also alienating her. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/01/21 12:41 AM |
| 44 | Give what you get 🤷♀️Uhhhhhhhhh, so yes Dani’s boyfriend was trash and deserved what he got but this guy, while emotionally supportive and attentive, literally lured her into a cult. And he low key laid out land mines for Dani’s bf and friends to step in (like her bf having sex with that girl and killing off the other 2 guys) to alienate her from her group. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/01/21 10:51 PM |
| 2 | Men giving you their number and expecting you to call them - How do you respond?The question is, what if you give your Google Voice number and he tries calling it in front of you? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/01/21 10:47 PM |
| 161 | Another example of why vetting can never end, no matter how long the relationshipOr reverse uno his ass and end the pregnancy bc we’re not in the business of being anybody’s baby mama | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/01/21 09:06 PM |
| 19 | Just A Friendly Reminder, LadiesYour pussy will always tell you if the man you’re with is stank, just sayin’. Pay attention! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/01/21 11:31 PM |
| -1 | Opinion on marriage and our surname (last name)I think professionally, I’d like to be known by my maiden name. I’m the one who got the degrees, accolades etc. not my future husband. In my personal life, I want children, so I would take my husband’s last name. To me, that signifies we are a family. I’ve seen a warped reverse happened, and it’s delusional at best: My dad passed away while he was dating this woman. The woman had 2 kids and all 3 of them shared the last name of her ex husband. After my dad died, she changed her last name to my d… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/01/21 09:00 PM |
| 24 | How do we slow down our own sexual impulses?Or wash their ass properly 🤮 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/01/21 05:34 PM |
| 138 | "Most women dont have a problem with their boyfriends watching porn" - 27yo MHonestly, I didn’t think about porn being an issue until my most recent ex. He heavily got off on Japanese anime porn and that was his fantasy. But he like couldn’t perform what he was getting off on. He would tell me he liked this certain thing and wanted to do it. He even found anime porn with the Euro-Asian man and a sort of Black looking Asian looking woman in the porn to make it “realistic.” (He was white and I’m Black) I really didn’t like it because while he found it arousing, he said not… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/01/21 03:00 AM |
| 3 | Do LVM’s ever change?I know :( the most important decade to find yourself too. I’m a pretty big fan of the band, and I can tell you none of the fans liked him either. It’s awkward hearing the love songs she wrote for him too. The deeper cuts were her basically begging for him to tell her that he loves her, telling him how devoted she is to him, to please be with her :( Girl, no. You’re absolutely right. She said in an interview she had really messed up views on love and that she basically married him to “shut up the… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/01/21 09:01 PM |
| 4 | Boundaries : Enforced!Olives are kinda gross though.... except black olives on a supreme pizza! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/01/21 08:06 PM |
| 14 | Male influencers dating women to gain them as followers**because of *trashing Britney | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/01/21 07:45 PM |
| 2 | Do LVM’s ever change?Yeah, she’s a petite person to begin with so losing a lot of weight wasn’t good for her frame. She’s been through a lot, but it was a pretty loud secret that Chad was a gross piece of shit. I’m glad she’s away from him. He even wrote songs blaming her on why he cheated. Just gross. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/01/21 07:33 PM |
| 7 | For all the women who “lost” their LVM/NVM to League of Legends, WoW etc. post your stories below.Thank you for sharing your story. I am so sorry. If you need any additional support or someone to talk to, my inbox is always open. You are stronger than you think ❤️ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/01/21 03:41 PM |
| 11 | For all the women who “lost” their LVM/NVM to League of Legends, WoW etc. post your stories below.This. The ex I dated who was an addict was so annoyed that I wanted to idk... go out to eat, go dancing at clubs (with him), hang out with friends, travel, go to concerts etc. To him he saw that as wasteful and “too much money” (he was professionally playing). He gave me so much shit about it and never wanted to come. When he was forced to quit video games a few years later and get a life, then he starts to travel, go out, go to concerts etc. The same shit he gave me so much shit for. But that’s… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/01/21 03:06 PM |
| 8 | Do LVM’s ever change?It reminds me of the song “Sad” by a band called Eisley. Quick Pop Culture Time: The lead singer of Eisley (Sherri) was married to the lead guitarist (CHAD 🤮)of the band New Found Glory (the ultimate, too old, predatory scrote pop punk band). Anyway, Chad cheats on Sherri with multiple women, including the barely 18 year old lead singer of Paramore. They divorce and the song “Sad” is born— it’s a warning song to Hayley Williams (of Paramore, who is now dating this man, who literally groomed her)… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/01/21 02:48 PM |
| 6 | Do LVM’s ever change?You know, I used to think that they do change. But when I really thought about it, after reading a lot of FDS, a lot of LV men would rather change the girl than change their behavior. They’re banking on another woman putting up with their shit when they see they can’t jerk you around anymore or they get tired of you complaining. Things you see on social media or for a glimpse of time never tell the full story. You never know what another woman is willing to put up with. This happened to me when … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/01/21 02:37 PM |
| 16 | For all the women who “lost” their LVM/NVM to League of Legends, WoW etc. post your stories below.There is a subset of pickme’s that do gaming as a hobby but also build a following of scrotes to tell them how “hot” they are. IMO it’s pathetic. The men who do it for a job usually have a disaster of a real life and are barely scraping by to keep it together. When you think about it, the average earning for a decently known competitive gamer isn’t that much. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/01/21 02:06 PM |
| 24 | For all the women who “lost” their LVM/NVM to League of Legends, WoW etc. post your stories below.There is zero fucking excuse as to why he couldn’t give foreplay. This man sounds like a straight up child. “Wahhh I have a dick so get wet” just screams how little experience he has and how much he doesn’t deserve a girlfriend. My ex (who gamed but wasn’t a gamer) was like that too. He just thought I was supposed to just sit and spin. Like no dude. No foreplay, no sex. And this dude’s absolute lack of care to... idk get off his ass and cook a basic meal or even throw something in the microwave … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/01/21 02:01 PM |
| 10 | Male influencers dating women to gain them as followersThis is why I don’t even do social media anymore. The entire industry (which includes influencers) is a huge cesspool. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/01/21 01:53 PM |
| 28 | my GOD am i thankful i found this subThis and the post about crushes (and the needless fantasy of having them) is helpful. It’s better to have a sober view of men than to walk around with rose colored glasses and become emotionally exhausted and broken. Because of FDS, I have more confidence to just Meghan Markle the fuck away from dudes who are LV/NV with a quickness. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/01/21 01:51 PM |
| 12 | For all the women who “lost” their LVM/NVM to League of Legends, WoW etc. post your stories below.Leveling up 🤗 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/01/21 08:47 AM |
| 21 | For all the women who “lost” their LVM/NVM to League of Legends, WoW etc. post your stories below.Ughhh he sounds like a lazy ass loser. I’m so sorry 😢 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/01/21 08:45 AM |
| 14 | Saw multiple men repost this on FB - especially the "if I'm giving her (money), she giving me money" took me out... What's your take on that ladies?He did want to marry me, had a ring in mind and I got the sense of where and how he was going to propose. It’s interesting because I was not comfortable with moving in (and we didn’t) and was very mixed about the idea. I’d entertain it and then say I don’t think it’s a good idea. I thought at the time it was just because I had lived by myself for years and it was about losing my independence. But I would physically react when we’d talk about moving in. It didn’t help that when I asked him about … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/01/21 09:47 PM |
| 35 | Saw multiple men repost this on FB - especially the "if I'm giving her (money), she giving me money" took me out... What's your take on that ladies?Ugh, my ex was like this. He really wanted to move in together. When we discussed what we would do financially, he wanted to split the rent and utilities, and then switch off month to month for groceries. If we got married we’d have our own car notes. I was ok with split rent at the time, but switching on groceries is stupid considering he was very conservative on his budget and I was more liberal (I like to cook and experiment). He was also incredibly stingy on going out. He’d “treat” me to a n… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/01/21 07:12 PM |
| 2 | Men's friendships aren't 'stronger' or 'deeper' than women's friendships.Corporate | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/01/21 06:46 PM |
| 57 | Erection does not equal affection, ladies. Someone can desire you who doesn't truly value you. Wait for the one who will truly treasure you, body AND soul.Yikes I’m just sitting here, called out as fuck lmao. Late teens/early 20s me did the MOST and felt so good about myself that I could get a slam piece pretty easily or to find a guy who thought I was hot. Did any of them value me? Nope. Do I remember half of them? Also, thankfully, no. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/01/21 05:55 AM |
| -4 | Men's friendships aren't 'stronger' or 'deeper' than women's friendships.Yeahhh, I’m gonna get dragged for my commentary BUT: Men don’t play mind games with their “friends”/friends. And by games I mean the psychological warfare women do to their peers and to their friends/frenemies. Sure, men can and do have shady intentions with female friends, but it has actually been more harmonious and straightforward when befriending (decent) men and also working with (decent) men. I actually dislike working with women and majority women spaces because you cannot work in peace w… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/01/21 12:32 AM |
| 2 | Don't take the bait if a scrote from your past contacts you. They are only contacting you for nefarious and selfish reasons.This is true. I was delusional and turned around and begged for him back several times because of how he responded to the breakup. We were supposed to spend more time together (he was ignoring me in favor of the video game while we were in a LDR and I was driving to see him only to be ignored or see him for a couple hours. When I came home from university he ignored me again and on our anniversary so I dumped him). In hindsight I should have just left him alone and let him deal with it how he ne… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/01/21 12:12 AM |
| 71 | Sad how a lot of young girls in the comments are missing the point though...Yeah, Dean had the facade of a HVM. Teenage me thought he was a dream 1st boyfriend until he started sleeping around with Rory while married. Jess gets appreciation only for telling Rory about herself, but he’ll always go down as a dirtbag who told her he loved her and then moves across the country without telling her. Didn’t pay attention to Logan. Luke got better over time but Lorelai’s immature ass didn’t deserve him. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/01/21 03:39 PM |
| 23 | Sad how a lot of young girls in the comments are missing the point though...Emily Gilmore was a piece of work, but Richard knew how to treat her like a lady and cherish her. She was right. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/01/21 03:36 PM |
| 9 | Don't take the bait if a scrote from your past contacts you. They are only contacting you for nefarious and selfish reasons.That happened to me with my first ex bf. We didn’t end on good terms when I dumped him and he basically refused to speak to me and rebounded after me. After unnecessary pain on my end for a couple years, he found me on Snapchat asking me if I still lived in the same town as him. I asked him “why?” and he said he wanted to “catch up.” Catch up?? You ignored me for years! At first I said “Oh.” Then I changed my mind and said I don’t even live in the state anymore, hope you’re well and said we can … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/01/21 02:47 PM |
| 48 | Hilarious and true!!!Well his excuse was the name of the theatre “sounded fancy and expensive.” Bruh. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/01/21 06:55 AM |
| 91 | Hilarious and true!!!Lmaooo this happened with an ex bf. Mr. Wine-Dine-69. We’d been on a few dates already and he said I could pick anywhere I wanted to go for an upcoming date. I said this novelty indie movie theatre in town. They play obscure and old films but the price of admission and cost of concessions was the same as a regular theatre. Dude immediately asked to go Dutch instead of Googling the damn place. It tells you all of the prices online. My old (and passive aggressive) Pick Me self agreed but I was gon… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/01/21 06:43 AM |
| 7 | Trauma will keep you in a loop of your pastYeah. At those times it’s good to check in on the self respect | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/01/21 08:29 PM |
| 101 | Trauma will keep you in a loop of your pastBecause when we are emotionally hungry and vulnerable, any kind of attention feels like love | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/01/21 06:43 PM |
| 34 | Sex with a HVMThis could be just me but when I’ve been with other guys in the past and I’ve dealt with the above (minus yeast infection) the guy ended up being a trash human. I offer anecdotal evidence to back it up but if a guy is even throwing off your pH maybe it’s the body trying to tell you something about your chemistry and his chemistry isn’t a good mix (aka he ain’t it) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/01/21 04:07 AM |
| 24 | I'm a completely different woman thanks to this subreddit. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.SO PROUD OF YOU! I am not Asian (I’m Black) but I can relate to the fetishizing part. I was the “pretty Black girl” that sought validation from white men. I shared the same feelings as you in terms of the comments and harassment I received when I was younger. I thought that was powerful, like I was different in a good way. It wasn’t surprising that when I started to date, all of my partners had some level of racist ideologies that they believed (ex. One gave me the “I don’t see color” explanatio… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/01/21 05:53 PM |
| 28 | We don’t careSo basically this “man” wants a doormat. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/01/21 06:33 AM |
| 6 | Together with the loserPreface: This was 2012 before delete and block was a thing for me. I was also a teenager. Lol, this reminds me of my first ex boyfriend. He was a NVM trying to be a professional video gamer for some loser game and was a selfish asshole. I broke up with him after 6 months, even though I still cared for him because he had potential. Some internet girl who played the same game as him had been vying for him since Day 1 and she “got” him a few months later. It was so gross seeing that he had them as … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/01/21 02:16 AM |
| 10 | Together with the loserThis reminds me of a woman at my relative’s church. Her husband was the church choir director and while everyone loved him, we always thought there was a shady vibe to him. But the wife was relegated by the congregation. She shockingly left him and it turns out he forbade her from getting a job/earning her own money, was basically there to procreate and show face at the church. She started talking about how mentally and emotionally abusive this man was. Cut her hair, started wearing jeans gasp a… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/01/21 02:00 AM |
| 1 | Does anyone else have a pattern of dating addicts?Nope! I’ve met one or two in life before but because I liked toxic at the time I didn’t go towards them. Where do you find them? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/01/21 03:43 AM |
| 6 | Does anyone else have a pattern of dating addicts?Thanks! And yeah you’re right. I was just an incredibly nosy 19-24 year old thinking I had the right to know, but all it did was upset me at the time. The last guy wrote me some manifesto informing me of all of this when he saw I was not coming back after his attempts and I had secured a high paying job and went on a trip he “promised” to take me on by my own self(!!!!!). That’s around the time my friend introduced me to FDS and I learned the delete and block technique. That was a year ago. I’m … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/01/21 05:56 PM |
| 15 | [TW: Emotional Abuse] Armie Hammer’s ex Courtney Vucekovich Describes Gaslighting, Emotional Abuse, Sexual Coercion“Children, move along, it’s just Bella Thorne... nothing to see here....” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/01/21 01:52 AM |
| 18 | [TW: Emotional Abuse] Armie Hammer’s ex Courtney Vucekovich Describes Gaslighting, Emotional Abuse, Sexual CoercionI don’t like his wife (she’s one of those fake BLM allies. She was new money to his old money, an arrangement more or less) but this is just more ammo for her settlement. They’ve been battling on custody and I think prenup because he says they were separated after 9 years, she’s specifying 10. There’s a reason. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/01/21 01:48 AM |
| 12 | Straight, white, often fat, male woes 😆Can someone locate her and get her away from this man/the sunken place?? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/01/21 01:13 AM |
| 7 | Straight, white, often fat, male woes 😆”often fat” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/01/21 01:12 AM |
| -3 | Invest in yourselfDoes ItWorks! work? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/01/21 01:06 AM |
| 22 | The vibes of liberal men towards me since I started with FDSYou know, Azalea Banks is a lot of things but she said something along the lines of: White, gay men are more misogynistic than straight men because they think because they say “yas honey!” and (that some) are feminine that they can try to tell you how to be a woman She had a point there. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/01/21 01:02 AM |
| 20 | Redirect that energy sisThank you for posting. Old exes have come up a lot as I work through my codependency issues and ugh, the old dredged up feelings for my trashy LVM exes come up and it’s like a massive tidal wave. I’ll remember this when I need my sensible and logical brain to kick in. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/01/21 10:34 AM |
| 23 | How my best friend's bf took her away from meYeah, I tend on the side of she chose him over you. It’s sucks, but it happens and it will be okay (probably right now it doesn’t feel like it, but keep your head up ❤️) There are women out there that will do that. I don’t agree with it, I think it’s honestly really shady, but it is their decision to do so. Honestly, if a penis could come between your friendship, your friendship wasn’t that strong to begin with anyway. Like another poster said, she showed you that that’s who she is, so please al… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/01/21 02:25 AM |
| 1 | Protect your energy from everyoneIt’s not about you being the emotional dumper, you definitely sound like you are not, but why those types of friendships may come your way and how you respond may help give you some clarity for your next phase in life. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/01/21 11:49 PM |
| 9 | Protect your energy from everyoneOoof. I used to be one of those friends, it will take a long time to recognize. She’s probably immature and doesn’t know her worth, and that is not your problem. But the answer is they need therapy. STAT. And you aren’t getting paid to listen to her bitch so lol Just to add some perspective, there can be other dynamics at play here: Dynamic 1: You BOTH are emotional dumpers. I used to have a friend that I specifically came to dump on when I dealt with crappy boyfriends. In return, whatever quest… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/01/21 09:30 PM |
| 30 | Don't let them trick you, BDSM was never empowering.That reminds me of an ex I had who refused to sext me (I like it from time to time if we are apart) because he “respected me too much” but had fucked half of Orlando with zero care or regard for the other women before getting together with me (ex. one chick he was fucking before me left her ID in his room and he refused to return it to her or at least the police station because she was a “crazy bitch”). Clearly I was the one he wanted to impress... Why is there a hierarchy of respect? People jus… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/01/21 07:04 PM |
| 15 | Don't let them trick you, BDSM was never empowering.And now they’re getting divorced 🤷🏾♀️ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/01/21 06:58 PM |
| 12 | Coming out of this relationship. It's been hellish. Listen to men who call their exes "crazy "Yeah, I dated a guy who said his ex was a bitch. Like straight up called her a bitch. It was his first girlfriend, a high school romance and he got her a “pre-engagement ring” (IIRC at her parents’ request). It was strange. She wanted to stay with him when his dad was dying and eventually died and he said that she was “making him do this now” by breaking up with her the day after his dad died. He was over her. I get he was probably starting the grieving process, but no one can make you do anythi… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/01/21 04:57 AM |
| 24 | Keep it real out thereThe wall? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/01/21 03:22 PM |
| 158 | Keep it real out thereSame if you’re 17 and he is 25. Walk away, walk away... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/01/21 03:21 PM |
| 6 | LOSING "FRIENDS" LEFT & RIGHT - the difficult but necessary journey to becoming a happier and healthier womanI feel like 2020 was the year to dump all LV anything. The pandemic itself really showed people’s asses. I had a friend who, in terms of emotional support was HV, but her life was always a damn mess and she was walking off tons of jobs and then complaining she couldn’t get her big break and that her mom holds her back. But she kept relying on her mom to take care of her all the time.... When she moved out to NYC (for the second time), she complained how much she hated her job and was flying back… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/01/21 06:42 AM |
| 65 | Saw this on Twitter and it’s so true! Be careful what man you date - they can drag you down!This is true. Actually, all 3 of my ex’s held me back. First bf was just A W F U L (I made a FDS post on how that turned out). Long story short, I’m glad it ended and I stayed at my college town, a bigger city with more opportunity. I had a lot of (and at times, too much) fun in college, met many different people and got to try out different career opportunities and internships. Ambitious one am I. He... never left our hometown and continued to be a full time loser, I mean, League of Legends pla… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/01/21 01:31 AM |
| 5 | Please don’t humiliate yourself for a boy or allow yourself to be humiliated like I was.Yes. At the time I valued his response so much over mine that it bothered me how sharp of a response he had. But I mean, I did dump him on our anniversary. It was cruel in that way, but I was tired of feeling uneasy and second to everything. I thought by getting him back things would change or even if we didn’t part things would change but probably in hindsight it wouldn’t have | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/01/21 02:34 PM |
| 8 | Please don’t humiliate yourself for a boy or allow yourself to be humiliated like I was.I understand. Especially how I grew up (in predominately yt areas), I was definitely taught that. His friend was unbelievably racist too. He’d always mention “(ex’s) gf is BLACK!!” All the time” or tell me I “wasn’t like the other ones” they had gone to high school with, which at the time I took as a compliment bc they went to a racially diverse high school in a bad area. Most of the time that I was with him I felt overreactive and also neglected so it was just my ego getting in the way when I s… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/01/21 02:28 PM |
| 3 | HVM examples in fiction and irl?Cillian Murphy may be but I can’t get past the crazy eyes 🥴 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/01/21 06:33 AM |
| 16 | HVM examples in fiction and irl?“That boy ain’t right” 😂 Loved this show. And I think it’s awesome how he was a dad to a very sensitive and eccentric Bobby. That forced Hank to grow and accept their differences. I think Bobby inherited his kind nature. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/01/21 06:32 AM |
| 7 | HVM examples in fiction and irl?Hold the phone.... what? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/01/21 06:27 AM |
| 6 | Naya Rivera's 🚩Ridden Experience with a NVM PedophileHe makes it seem like she’s changed him for the better. I don’t follow them too much to know though. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/01/21 02:33 AM |
| 14 | Naya Rivera's 🚩Ridden Experience with a NVM PedophileYeah IDFWU was about Naya. Not gonna lie I’ve used that song plenty of times when dealing with shitty people, it’s a bop 🥴 but Naya didn’t deserve that. Clearly he was butthurt when he wrote it because he had no problem propping up Naya in his verse on Drake’s “All Me” 2 years before so 🤷🏾♀️ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/01/21 02:16 AM |
| 18 | Love makes you look weak to men.I’m the same way. I love way too hard and want to give my all and devotion to a man and eventually my children. But in the past it has not served me well. I’m working on codependency issues and that’s been helpful to me. It is strange though, the love and devotion I gave in the past was always for shitty friends or LVM who did not respect me, but for men who pursued me or people who had higher levels of self respect, I looked at them like they had seven heads for coming at me in a dignified way.… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/01/21 04:01 PM |
| 38 | If you ain't serious, send me on my way and I will thank you. Sadly, LVM love to string women along with the hope of something permanent. I'm good.Honestly the same goes for friends too | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/01/21 09:46 AM |
| 12 | Guy on first date tells me he won't be paying for me moving forwardThis | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/01/21 04:57 AM |
| 11 | They may have bed frame ladders, but I'd bet they sleep on floor mattresses.Nope. This is not a women’s issue. If it were armed white women, the same ratio of people dead would have been the same. Had it been Black, Native, Hispanic, Asian or any other women (or men) of color, ALL OF THEM would have been dead within the hour. Bet your life all you want, but as a WOC I bet my life every day just existing. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/01/21 05:13 PM |
| 18 | They may have bed frame ladders, but I'd bet they sleep on floor mattresses.*white privilege. Women participated, even though they were in the minority. 52% of white women STILL voted for and supported T*ump in this recent election. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/01/21 03:29 PM |
| 37 | They may have bed frame ladders, but I'd bet they sleep on floor mattresses.The woman (and the 3 other people who also were killed) didn’t deserve the way they died. But make no mistake, her death was not about some idiot men being reckless with guns. She was a participant of a racist, fascist and white privileged terrorist group trying to conduct a coup. If this woman (or any of these people) were of color, they would’ve had 27 bullets in the back before even getting onto the steps. Let’s be clear here. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/01/21 03:26 PM |
| 7 | Is anyone else afraid to have a son / what your son might turn out like after seeing how 98% of men are, and how so many turn out to be no matter what their mother does from them? Stories like this it’s almost always the male child doing some entitled shit to their mother...I agree with this. I’ve dated men in the past that were sheltered and babied and were made to be the emotional husband. Can we just call it what it is and that is Narcissism? If you have a Trey McDougal carbon copy, that’s momma working since day 1 to indoctrinate her son with her narcissistic abuse. The result of that (not standing up for your girlfriend/wife over mommy) is on the boy-man. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/01/21 03:16 PM |
| 16 | Why you ladies shouldn’t cohabitate with a man without a ring!Why is it always underwear in the kitchen? It’s just nasty as hell. One guy kept leaving his underwear on the floor of our 2x5 bathroom and leave pee REEKING of medicine (he took a bunch of pills for various “ailments” he had) in the toilet. No, you are nasty. And yep, arguably, I’ve had worse female roommates when it came to their boyfriends too. One girl I lived with spent 30 minutes teaching her loser bf how to turn on the shower, and was so loud having sex that we had to tell her it’s distur… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/01/21 03:57 AM |
| 44 | Why you ladies shouldn’t cohabitate with a man without a ring!One of the best things my childhood friend taught me was 1. Never Settle (I failed that for 10 years LOL) and 2. Don’t you DARE move in until engaged, committed and a wedding date is set. That’s what I plan to do when I meet my match. And even then, we WILL be doing marriage counseling to get some bounds established before marrying. I used to think counseling was for couples in trouble but I think it’s a massive benefit to the woman too, if you’ve got a good therapist. I wonder why I would physi… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/01/21 03:41 AM |
| 72 | Why you ladies shouldn’t cohabitate with a man without a ring!When I lived with men (both were gay) and they kept eating my food or leaving their underwear around, I learned to a) lock my shit up and b) take a picture of their shit on the floor and send it to them/in the group chat. I know it seems bitchy but I got tired of being gaslit for being “anal retentive” or “difficult” when they were being inconsiderate and disgusting. They know what they’re doing. It wasn’t easy though bc late teens-early 20s me used to go APESHIT when they would do that until I … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/01/21 03:37 AM |
| 14 | My 2021 Resolution. Done explaining my standards, beliefs, decisions, dreams, and feelings to the undeserving. Nobody is entitled to an explanation - protect your energy!That’s what happened with my ex (dumped him a year ago). He pushed my boundaries constantly when it came to his abusive, overbearing, alcoholic mother. A1 Mommy’s Boy (TM). I can’t tell you how many times I had to explain to him “look dude I don’t put up with my own mothers abusive behavior, I am NOT doing it for yours.” AND “my dad was literally killed by a drunk driver, I do not want to be around a person who is constantly drunk and has THROWN THINGS AT ME WHILE DRUNK.” He would say he “respec… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/01/21 03:29 AM |
| 29 | Hypersexualization of women in anime and why I won't deal with men who watch itWell, he would email me all of these doujins (basically cartoon anime porn stills) when he was horny and say “I want to do this” but never said what he liked or enjoyed about my body When we had sexual incompatibility issues, he bought himself a fleshlight so it could “help him get in the mood” but would shut down if he got soft inside of me because “he got in his head too much.” Never cared to understand (even after breaking down crying once or twice about it to him) that I needed foreplay befo… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/01/21 03:03 AM |
| 88 | Hypersexualization of women in anime and why I won't deal with men who watch itStoooopppppo why are you reminding me of my weaboo incel (until we got together) ex who got off on anime porn and doujins | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/01/21 06:41 PM |
| 21 | Derrick is such a male FDS supporter! 🙌 #realitycheck #straightfactsIt’s sad bc I think women take his advice simply because he’s “textbook hot” but he breadcrumbs the hell out of women with his “advice.” IMO he also comes off as disingenuous. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/01/21 05:24 PM |
| 37 | Derrick is such a male FDS supporter! 🙌 #realitycheck #straightfactsHe is definitely an upgrade from annoying, fake ass Matthew Hussey | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/01/21 04:26 PM |
| 1 | Hot Tip: If you have to consult Google to see if his behavior is okay, it's time to dump him, sis.So why are you here? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/01/21 04:04 PM |
| 2 | Hot Tip: If you have to consult Google to see if his behavior is okay, it's time to dump him, sis.I believe you and I think you’re right. IME when it came to my previous relationships (with the exception of my last one), it was a combination of my distortions and them actually mistreating me. So even though I spent so many hours overthinking and trying to people please them, even to the point of asking myself how I could look like and emulate their celebrity crushes that they mentioned in passing... when they were white... and blonde... and not shaped like me... it gave me zero trust in myse… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/01/21 03:58 PM |
| 1 | Rural American LVM starter packIs that Fat Bastard on the bottom right? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/01/21 06:41 AM |
| 23 | Pacific Northwest LVM starter packSo basically Austin, TX really is diet Portland bc the dudes are alllll like this except with a damn truck 😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/01/21 01:19 AM |
| 3 | Pacific Northwest LVM starter packYep. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/01/21 01:18 AM |
| 10 | Pacific Northwest LVM starter packLol I’ve lived in the south most of my life, but I visited Portland and Seattle a year ago almost. I was shocked at how “unfriendly” people were unless you approached them! So I know your point on how people smile and wave at everyone here in the south. I was expecting that in PNW and was really put off by that. It’s sad that the men are so weird and childish there too, though. It is absolutely GORGEOUS in that area of the US. I was thinking of moving out there once COVID was through but this is… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/01/21 01:15 AM |
| 7 | Rural American LVM starter packLOLL you made it! AND it has those tacky ass “my dick is smaller than the stick shift” monster truck 😂😂😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/01/21 01:05 AM |
| 23 | I raise you Over 30s Midwestern LVM starterpack.You should make one for southern males. Trash galore, I tell ya! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/01/21 01:04 AM |
| 15 | Just Do It!Oooh that’s a good nugget of advice! Thank you for sharing! I am also an over thinker in the ways she described. Overthinkers can turn into strategic thinkers, amirite? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/01/21 10:18 PM |
| 5 | Just let him goThat’s fine. He doesn’t have a wife anymore, so have fun, sir! OP needs a divorce lawyer like yesterday. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/01/21 05:51 PM |
| 4 | I honestly don't think I want to get married (and I'm tired of my family saying I'll change my mind)When you say Queen Elizabeth mindset are you referring to the current Queen (Elizabeth II)? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/01/21 05:38 PM |
| 9 | Woman fully supports boyfriend for two years, paying all his bills, including his schooling, all so he can cheat on her with a classmate in the car his girlfriend gave him. Wait until you hear what he says at the end.The other woman doesn’t look terribly shocked to me... The girlfriend fucked up for sure in terms of judgement, but this guy is just grease scum. “Well who’s going to have the better career?” Ughhhhhhhhh, I loathe mediocre (this dude isn’t even that let’s be honest) yt men who do and say this shit. REEKS of entitlement. For her, idk there’s not much you can do about the situation than doing a Waiting to Exhale and get his shit out of your apartment and let him and mommy figure his shit out. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/01/21 01:05 AM |
| 1 | Men always say "we are abused too" bullshit, they are never as abused as much as women are.Thank you! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/01/21 07:00 AM |
| 7 | Men always say "we are abused too" bullshit, they are never as abused as much as women are.This is why I am (now more) grateful for both of my grandmothers. My dad’s mom met my grandad in college. She was studying to become a teacher. They dated during school but he was going overseas for the Army shortly after they graduated. So he told her, “Hey, we’re moving to England.” My grandmom told his ass “No, I don’t belong to you. I’m staying here.” So he decided to ask her parent’s permission to marry her before he left. They/she said yes. After they got married, she worked for a year in … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/01/21 12:07 AM |
| 31 | If you catch feelings easily, this might help! Stay strong! >:)Not to say being liberal is terrible, but I was close friends with people who leaned heavy, heavy left (like went to the Rally to Restore Sanity like 10 years ago) and were racist af. Like wanting to say the “N” word and silently looked down on me as a POC with the same economic standing as them. I’ve also dated a very liberal yt guy who was really great in seeming inclusive but felt the need to be a mouthpiece for women’s issues and again POC issues when he was surrounded by incels. He would cr… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/01/21 02:47 AM |
| 18 | If you catch feelings easily, this might help! Stay strong! >:)Can you expand on Joe? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/01/21 02:39 AM |
| 7 | Yesterday morning I closed on a house. Yesterday evening I was dumped via text. This is not a coincidence.Lollll this reminds me of my most recent ex (been broken up with him for a little over a year now). I was in a really terrible job situation but none of my job prospects were sticking when he and I were together. Broke up with him in December, we spoke off and on (I know) and he was trying to illicit sympathy over his sick dad for me to take him back and see him. I was not and considered the little things I left at his apartment dead and gone. He also kept asking me if I was still at the terribl… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/12/20 09:18 PM |
| 6 | Yesterday morning I closed on a house. Yesterday evening I was dumped via text. This is not a coincidence.I lost it at “pancake pillow” 😂😂😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/12/20 08:57 PM |
| 12 | At least ONE male will admit it!!That’s how I read it as well. Despite being labeled as “difficult” or “angry” I do know Black women who have standards and uphold them but are also loving, generous, caring, FEMININE (despite the fact that we are often compared to dogs) and the like. It’s taken a long time to accept and realize but when people say asinine things about Black women, it’s has nothing to do with us as women but it does say everything about the people making those comments. Easy weed out method if ya ask me. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/12/20 11:26 PM |
| 3 | Dad’s an HVM ❤️It’s always Florida lol | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/12/20 06:10 PM |
| 8 | Seen this wayyy too many times!🙄 Women are held solely responsible for breaking relationships by other women because of internalised misogyny. The poor cheating bf is a "good guy otherwise".please roast me and keep in mind I was much younger when this happened, but I do wonder... What if it’s a girl who was trying to flirt with your bf online and he doesn’t respond while you were dating. He wasn’t really responding to you anyway bc he was trying to be a professional video game player and that’s a loser thing to do. Super neglectful to you but you were in love/attached. You later break up with bf for that reason, and same girl (who had a following in that video game community) and i… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/12/20 10:09 PM |
| 12 | I am glad more and more women are having that mindset in this day and age.I toy with this sometimes, too. Without children, you have more opportunities to explore and come and go as you please. No ties to the dude if he turns out to be a fuckface. I do feel a big maternal instinct in me now that I am closer to 30. For a long time I suppressed my wanting to be a wife and mom simply because my own (pickmeisha) mother told me I would be a bad mom lol. I was like 10 when she said it. For me, a nice compromise is waiting until mid-late 30s to explore options if I haven’t s… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/12/20 10:25 PM |
| 3 | Thought experimentWOW! Yes! I am so sorry that you had to deal with that a) with grown ass people and b) in public where people had enough gall to boldly do/say that. In a way, I’m glad they did reveal themselves. Your ex’s best friend was more of a bf in that moment than your ex could ever be. Something similar happened with a recent ex too. His best friend and roommate would make racist jokes in front of me and ex would pussyfoot around telling him to stop. I had to take it upon myself to tell that asshole that… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/12/20 09:39 PM |
| 11 | Men lying on their dating profiles...😭😭😭 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/12/20 08:36 PM |
| 1 | For all the women out there thinking about giving up their career opportunities for a manOmg Jason was such a douche canoe to Lauren even before he asked her to move in with him for the summer. But she was young and didn’t get it then. I liked Lauren, but Whitney always had my respect— unproblematic, hard working (for a rich Teen Vogue intern that had the job likely handed to her. She at least never said no to an opportunity and showed up), single friend for a while but found her true love in the end. And she’s still rich. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/12/20 08:15 PM |
| 3 | Thought experimentThis! I am a black woman and I am coming around out of my denial of this occurring. I’ve grown up in mostly white spaces and have learned to “tone down” my Blackness. But for what? I’m still getting treated differently than my white “friends.” Those same friends who want to pay thousands of dollars for an ass or lips that I already have while also saying (subliminally) black women are ugly or undesirable. Or being used as a gatekeeper to tell them that they’re “not racist.” Or, like you said, ge… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/12/20 07:54 PM |
| 15 | Men lying on their dating profiles...Maybe check out your friend who helped you vet the OLD liar. Just sayin’ 👀 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/12/20 07:19 PM |
| 40 | I am glad more and more women are having that mindset in this day and age.Well the dude I dated was trash in bed. All of his fantasies were anime porn stills. Yet he couldn’t do missionary without his entire weight (210 lbs) on me or communicate with me when he’d get in his head and go soft. I’d sit there and cry when he’d roll over, say nothing and go to sleep. “Couldn’t handle” that I felt violated. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/12/20 07:09 PM |
| 1 | Jasper Bloom was the ultimate NVMAny dude that is named Jasper is for the 🗑 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/12/20 06:52 PM |
| 9 | Not this pick me again 🙄I only give her credit in the sense that you really do have to shift your mindset for Queen Shit in order to demand a HVM/fend of LVM. That’s how I’ll take it. But there are men out here that will complain about doing the bare minimum and want you to “bring everything to the table” like tf?? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/12/20 06:42 PM |
| 82 | I am glad more and more women are having that mindset in this day and age.Omfg NEVERRR AGAIN will I nurse a loser dude’s video game addiction. Saying that aloud is just lmao. Same with porn. My last relationship was with a guy who fantasized about anime porn. Literal cartoon titties. Old me struggles a bit about “what if I never have a husband?! I want babies!” But the cost to get that for the bs we have to put up with?? NAAAAAAAAH | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/12/20 05:55 PM |
| 16 | Fellas is it gay to have sex with women?Oh no, no, no, honey. A real man will fucking worship a woman on top or having their pussy in your face (if she likes that). And honestly, it’s a turn on to be with a man that puts your pleasure first. The fuck?? Sorry to this “man” 😂😂😂😂😂😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/12/20 10:50 AM |
| 48 | Stay BusyActually, your job will leave and/or replace you with a quickness. Just wanted to point that out. Your purpose and goals won’t though🤷🏾♀️ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/12/20 10:31 AM |
| 49 | Online dating in a nutshell; heads men win, tails women loseHe thought he could play you and his fragile ego is mad that he couldn’t/didn’t | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/12/20 04:53 PM |
| 5 | LADIES!!!!! This!!!Love to see it! ❤️ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/12/20 06:25 AM |
| 7 | Remember this next time you think you just need to CoMmUnICAtE your needs a little more clearly...Yeah, it’s true. I’ve ruined my self esteem/respect over men who just didn’t want to be with me or respect my wishes but I never failed to take it upon myself as a “me” problem while they’re there, still disrespecting me and comfortable doing that. Sometimes it still bothers me, sometimes it makes me angry and hopeless. But I do firmly believe if you have to constantly over explain yourself for just a crumb of respect and consideration, time for you to go | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/12/20 01:12 AM |
| 1 | LVM really have us questioning what we “bring to the table.”Btw I am not OP for this question. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/12/20 05:17 AM |
| 8 | Being a woman in today’s day and age is SO depressing... men will always stick up for their kind no matter what kind of stupid shit is in question. Women are either wrong or equally to blame- Remember ladies it’s rarely ever the man’s fault.This is why I dislike religious (cough fake Christian cough) people | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/12/20 06:48 PM |
| 9 | men knowStahhhhhhp you’re calling out past me and she feels E X P O S E D | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/12/20 02:49 PM |
| 5 | Hint: the answer is usually “no” 💕I remember the one and only time I noticed a change was when I was briefly with this guy my second year of college. Very casual and I broke it off after seeing him a few times— wasn’t into him enough to keep going. To my face, he seemed to take the rejection ok. After our last encounter, my Lady was waaaay off. I was confused bc it had never happened before and I was a bit embarrassed (thankfully it was just BV). For the next few months, mf would stalk me at parties and say I was “his girl” and … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/12/20 09:52 AM |
| 2 | Are there men that don't SPIT?Lmaooooo and doing that hair swoop bc they all had that horrible Justin Bieber haircut. No thanks, Tripp. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/12/20 02:07 AM |
| 2 | Are there men that don't SPIT?My dad used to “hawk a loogie” (lol) all the time when I was growing up in the 90s and early 2000s. He eventually stopped/did it way less as he got older. As a woman, I think it’s incredibly rude and disrespectful to do it around a woman you’re dating. To me, all I can think about is the fact that you were playing around with phlegm in your mouth and who wants to kiss that? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/12/20 10:35 PM |
| 8 | People who say their partner is HV before 6 month in, and people in here supporting it?Yeah, this is where I’m at now. I’ve dated LVM during my run of dating and got out of a relationship with a LV/NV man who had no problems taking me on a date, texting me, showing me to his family, wanting to be a part of mine etc. I had confidence in that but he was seriously avoidant with his feelings, had a penchant for lying and controlling and was a codependent mamas boy. I feel like I don’t even know what a HVM even is. I mean, it (seemingly) took George Clooney a few times to get his shit … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/12/20 09:46 PM |
| 84 | No girlfriend benefits without exclusivity.He wanted you to himself yet you couldn’t date around when gasp you aren’t his girlfriend. Gross. It is amazing how men think we are their property just because THEY like us yet don’t necessarily WANT us. Nah fam, like (problematic af but she was right) Olivia Pope from Scandal said: “if you want me EARN me.” Glad that dude is in the bin. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/12/20 07:00 AM |
| 43 | No girlfriend benefits without exclusivity.I think FDS should do a post on it to help us out | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/12/20 06:56 AM |
| 14 | Watch for their actions not their words.Came here to say you are not alone. I spent 2.5 years with a guy doing the same thing (did not move in, my body had physical reactions when he would bring it up) but it is exhausting having to explain and over explained how you should be treated with respect and consideration instead of being placated all the time. Please don’t feel stupid, sometimes we have to live through some painful situations to come out stronger. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/12/20 03:05 PM |
| 48 | LVM movie red flags! 🚩Yeah, they LOVE to call her a bitch left and right all the time but never seem to understand that Walt is a shitty husband and father and she’s forced to deal with it on her own... with a newborn... and a disabled son... with barely any money I could just go on how much BS she put up with. They don’t like her because waaah she’s not letting him ~have fun~ while literally breaking the law | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/12/20 02:53 PM |
| 40 | LVM movie red flags! 🚩500 Days of Summer 🤮 2000’s Indie Boy Circle Jerk Fave 3000. Yuck lol | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/12/20 02:50 PM |
| 7 | Do not ever, ever put yourself into the situation where your last friend is your boyfriendNow that you both mention it, that’s so true. I’ve always been more of the “keep a small circle” kind of person after going through bullying with a large group of friends in middle/high school much like you as well, but even in the smaller dynamic, there’s always 2 that are “closer” that talks shit about the 3rd and one person gets inevitably kicked out bc they gang up on the 3rd. Women are just downright mean sometimes. I’ll definitely keep the separate groups of friends ideology top of line. N… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/11/20 08:54 AM |
| 20 | Do not ever, ever put yourself into the situation where your last friend is your boyfriendWhat about if when you get a bf and you and your friends fall out for outside reasons while you’re with him? That’s happened before to me and all it did was turn up the codependent switch by 4000. I guess just because I was doing well with my friends and they ended up being flakes I felt “embarrassed” not having friends so subconsciously/consciously he became my world. Of course when we broke up I was a wreck and a half | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/11/20 02:49 AM |
| 9 | The language people use can be telling of what sort of person they are.Roy Moore is disgusting and that wife of his is an enabler too | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/11/20 12:31 AM |
| 15 | My wish for 2021 and beyond is that more women realise that they don’t have to put up with callous, selfish behaviour in their relationships.Wow. That really spoke to me. I did that in each of my relationships (only 3) and suffice to say... they still didn’t care. And it did break me :/ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/11/20 11:45 PM |
| 29 | Feminine "hygiene"I don’t really give a damn if a man has comments about the hair on my vagina. If you have a problem with it, we’re not having sex, it’s that simple. When I was 21, this guy I was boning told me to trim my hair bc it was too long for him and I actually did it lol. My rationale at the time was the sex was too damn good, so fine, I’ll trim. He said he wanted it all gone. Uh, ok. So I shaved it all off. For him. Lol never again. No man has ever said anything about my hair in the 7 years since that t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/11/20 04:00 AM |
| 3 | Don’t break your own heart, ladies.Yeah, I’m inclined to second this (on getting attached to the man’s family). Of course no one is banking on breaking up, but it can get weird with them if you do. I’d watch more closely how the guy handles familial expectations because there are dudes out here that let their family (read: mothers) run their life when they pay none of their bills. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/11/20 02:34 AM |
| 8 | Today I have come to terms that I have chosen and dated losers for a solid 10 years.I’m sorry that that happened. I can totally understand the feeling of impatience like something is wrong with you, but there isn’t. There’s a meme around that shows a girl and a guy. The girl is in a tall chair, boy in a small chair, below her. He asks her “hey can you come down here?” She says “why can’t you come up here?” He says “it’s way too hard” (or something that to that effect, but he declines. She says “oh.” Doesn’t move from where she is. Pretty powerful. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/11/20 01:14 AM |
| 23 | Thank you to the queen who called me out on another sub! You’ve helped change my life.Good for you! I completely understand your piece about your dad instilling the notion that you have “no value.” Biggest LIE ever. This dude didn’t deserve you and I’m glad you are doing much better. Sometimes the truth hurts and sometimes the truth leads to healing ❤️ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/11/20 04:50 AM |
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