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divingrose77101 Archive

View 11 posts and 1,398 comments by divingrose77101 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
–

I am actively working to become a problem to men like this. Doing my part, but still tired.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 05:56 PM
–

If you ONLY want sex in a relationship, lead with that. Otherwise, get to know a person before showing them your erection.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 05:39 PM
–

We know men are horny. This information is not hidden.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 05:37 PM
–

I blocked a guy because he asked in text before we had ever met what I was doing in the gym to get a “nice booty”? We are both gym rats and it seemed like a nice conversation until that moment. This guy was so hot. I would have absolutely (likely) wanted to start something with him if he hadn’t been gross on day one. I am so tired of men who seem want my body and express that to me freely. Don’t care, bro. Get in line. I don’t want to hear one word about sex until you’ve proven to me you have an…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 05:35 PM
–

I think people can figure out how they want the dates to be paid for. I’m old school. If a man asks to split the bill, I’ll pay the whole thing and block him.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 04:57 PM
3

What about red pill is true?
/r/ExRedPill27/07/26 05:19 AM
5

Why are there gender roles?
/r/ExRedPill27/07/26 04:48 AM
2

What is truer?
/r/ExRedPill27/07/26 04:48 AM
3

Partnership is something you bring, not something you get just by existing.
/r/ExRedPill27/07/26 04:48 AM
5

If I failed to go to college or make money and I saw people around me going to college and making money, why would I be mad at THEM? That’s what I don’t get. Women are doing great in many ways but that doesn’t mean men can’t accomplish the exact same thing if they try really hard and put in effort. Why be mad at anyone but themselves?
/r/ExRedPill27/07/26 04:47 AM
1

How come men don’t ask each other dating questions? I ask my girlfriends all the time.
/r/ExRedPill14/07/26 11:54 AM
2

Or, maybe women are meeting you and not liking you.
/r/ExRedPill14/07/26 12:46 AM
5

If you’re an engaging person that makes women feel deeply safe, you won’t have any trouble getting a date.
/r/ExRedPill14/07/26 12:45 AM
4

“I do not have the luxury to respect women and what they want. I don’t care that I make women uncomfortable. I am a man and I must have a woman right now.” - you.
/r/ExRedPill14/07/26 12:44 AM
4

Meet a normal number of woman —> be a good person and not a creep —> one of them likes you
/r/ExRedPill14/07/26 12:43 AM
3

It is normal and natural to want a partner. It is hard to find a person who will love you well. I do believe they exist, but I can’t make any promises. Guard your heart and keep your standards very high. Never settle for less than someone who treats you the way you want to be treated.
/r/ExRedPill13/11/24 05:23 AM
6

I am a woman who has never consumed any red pill content and I do not believe there is any man in the world who will have with me the type of relationship I desire. Because of that, I choose to lean into my own life and be happy on my own terms. I have a lot of friends, a decent career, amazing kids, and some really fun hobbies. I spend time making my house look cute and sewing, reading, and dancing. When I want male company, I spend time with one of my halftime “boyfriends” or FWB. I don’t expe…
/r/ExRedPill12/11/24 06:03 PM
20

There is always push back and noise when progress is made. Some men have always hated women and some always will. However, as women gain independence and power in a patriarchal society, people freak out and start to fight back. When women were more docile and had fewer rights, it was fine for men to stay silent. Now they can see their power and control slipping away and they’re throwing tantrums about it. There is more ruckus even if there isn’t more hate. No one gives up control without a fight…
/r/ExRedPill09/10/24 12:17 AM
20

These men ultimately hate women. They feel they can abuse unattractive or unappealing women with little repercussions, because they don’t want them anyway. With attractive women, they want to have a chance so they are “nice.” It’s “safer to be unkind to women you don’t mind being rejected by. You didn’t want that person so you can be cruel to them. They wouldn’t dream of doing the same thing to someone they thought they had a chance with.
/r/ExRedPill23/09/24 03:44 AM
0

Excellent question.
/r/ExRedPill23/09/24 03:41 AM
3

I am not making an argument on how to fix red pill mentality. That’s not my job. I was pointing out WHY red pill men hate women like me. And, yes, women being smarter than them is one of the reasons they’re red pill in the first place. They may imagine they hate me because I’m not as beautiful as a 20 year old, but that’s not true. My existence makes them feel insecure and that’s why they hate me.
/r/ExRedPill17/09/24 12:40 PM
47

As a 47 year old woman, I can tell you that many men of various ages hate women like me because we are educated (so we know they’re dumber than we are), financially independent (so we won’t tolerate bullshit just to get our bills paid), sexually experienced (so we know when they’re shit in bed), and confident (so we can’t be manipulated). It takes a seriously competent, emotionally intelligent, mature, and giving man to date a woman like me but the rewards are plentiful. You can ask my boyfriend…
/r/ExRedPill17/09/24 04:39 AM
10

Funny, a man who gets no women giving advice on not getting married.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 01:02 PM
0

I feel people shouldn’t get married.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 04:47 AM
–

Being worthy of loving doesn’t come from looks or how much money you have. It comes from kindness. Your value is in how you treat people, not what you have or how you look. It may be harder to find romance if you’re not hot or rich, but it’s not impossible. My boyfriend is very good looking and makes very good money and he could have a partner much hotter and younger than I am. However, no one in his whole life has ever treated him as well as I do. I truly love him unconditionally, accept every …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 09:05 PM
–

Why are you against self improvement?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 04:56 PM
–

Every person has challenges with dating. It is inherently hard and no one is worthy of a relationship just for existing. You have to be kind, treat people well, and be someone people want to know and spend time with if you want someone to love you. People are not Jesus, they don’t love you just because you exist. You have to be worthy of loving and investing in. I don’t think it is fruitful to try to decide who dating is hardest for. As a woman, dating can be physically dangerous for me and many…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 04:54 PM
–

Ah. Gotcha.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/24 02:49 PM
-5

You live in a fantasy world, man.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 02:33 PM
0

No one is entitled to anything but people who don’t help people are bad people.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 05:43 AM
0

This is absolutely untrue for most of the women I know. There is a huge gap in knowledge, critical thinking, emotional intelligence, and values between men who have gone to college and those who have not. For highly educated women, a man without a degree is unthinkable.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 05:36 AM
3

Are we all equal now?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 05:34 AM
4

You are absolutely correct that most men can’t compete in a society where women are no longer forced to be with men. Being alone is superior to being with a man who doesn’t meet my standards of looks, education, and kindness. I am a single mom after divorcing a cheating husband. I work and pay my bills, including child support, and I neither need nor want a partner to take care of me financially. I do, however, require my partner also be able to pay all his own bills and not need my financial co…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 05:33 AM
13

My ex husband was ugly. Not when I married him, but by the time he was cheating on me, he was ugly.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 08:28 PM
–

Capitalism is why we “need” high birth rates in the first place. The earth doesn’t need more people. Only capitalism needs this many people to keep going at its current rate. It’s fine to scale back the number of people on the planet. We’ll be fine. Economies will recover and we will adapt. Stop making it out to be a big deal. People can stop having babies if they want to. It’s not like you’re stepping up to take care of the unwanted ones.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 08:32 PM
–

What is wrong with lower birth rates? What is wrong with autism? Why should people be obligated to have kids before they’re ready?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 07:11 PM
7

It’s not something that is important to men my age. I’m 45 and in almost 5 years of OLD, zero people have asked me about it. They judge me by my character and not some silly number. Only young people with messed up ideas about sexuality think a body count means anything. You get older and you learn.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/22 03:33 PM
3

Why do you think women have and need such high standards?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/22 03:26 PM
4

I have no idea what my number is. I’m okay with that. I don’t feel the need to keep count because it doesn’t matter to me. No one my age asks that question because we are adults.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/22 03:25 PM
3

I follow the FDS Reddit and, even though some of it is complete trash, I was still able to learn some important things. There can be sweet corn even in shit. You just have to know how to dig.
/r/ExRedPill04/07/22 02:50 PM
1

That’s my favorite body type for sure
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/22 02:47 PM
1

That’s my favorite body type for sure
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/22 02:27 PM
1

I date short men too. My first one is 5”10” and shorter. I really like guys who are my height or shorter.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/22 01:13 PM
1

I’m not average. Why would I date an average person. Also, why would anyone want to be average? I understand that you think you know what’s going on, but I am, literally, old enough to be your mom. I know a fair bit about how the world works and guys are selling themselves short if they think looks are the only thing that matters. Just like a woman, your looks will fade. You absolutely must take the time now to grow as a person and start becoming the best human/man you can be if you want to have…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/22 09:27 AM
1

The men I date are.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/22 08:20 AM
2

Maybe women date differently than girls do. I am a woman. Quality of person trumps looks every time for me. Edit to add: you kind of just outed yourself as having a shitty personality if looks are the only thing you have to attract a woman. Yikes.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/22 05:40 AM
2

The “relationships end” because I haven’t started any. I go out with guys I think might be right for me and I’m still in the test driving stage. I am still looking for the exact right one. I settled when I got married at 20. Never going to do that again. The process of elimination will eventually result in a good match. It’s a lot easier for a guy to imagine it’s just his looks and not any other factor that prevents him from getting matches. He can throw up his hands and blame women for being sh…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/22 05:21 AM
2

Men I go out with aren’t modeling themselves to get women. They are genuinely high value, good human beings. They model themselves after what a good person is. We should all do that no matter the dating outcome. I have absolutely dated heavy, balding guys who otherwise fit what I like in a man. If they have those characteristics, are they able to convey them in a profile? I’ve seen a lot of low effort profiles. Those guys can’t expect to get high effort in return. If you have those good qualitie…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/22 05:07 AM
1

Happily so. Best decision I’ve ever made. Also, it’s incredibly rude to use names on Reddit. I’d rather be divorced than be you. You’re not getting dates because you’re a bad person, not because of anything else you listed.
/r/ExRedPill04/07/22 05:03 AM
1

It’s 2022, bro. You’re not an early human and you can’t just club a woman over the head and take her back to your cave and expect her to love you.
/r/ExRedPill04/07/22 04:57 AM
2

Guys don’t need to model themselves after anything. Men care about looks so just seeing a pretty woman is enough to get them interested enough to approach. I need to know if a guy is kind, educated, funny, intelligent, respectful, and genuine before I will approach him as those things matter much more to me than looks. That’s why OLD works much better for me. I always message OLD guys first, invite to a first date, and often make the first move physically. I don’t know why that wouldn’t be enoug…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/22 04:56 AM
2

I left a comment about why I don’t approach strangers. It’s because attractiveness is too low on my list of desired traits in a partner. I need to know what kind of person they are before I invest any time or effort. Can’t tell that from across a bar.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/22 04:45 AM
1

We all have to bring something to the table in order to be a good partner. If you don’t bring anything, you are just a parasite. Your parents and friends are there to care about you without you putting in any effort but no person is going to want a relationship with someone who can’t even like themselves or who don’t bring anything to the table. If you want to give nothing, change nothing, and try nothing new, then you’re just looking for your mom to love you. A partner will always require you b…
/r/ExRedPill04/07/22 04:42 AM
1

Or, I see them around the comedy clubs regularly and know that we share an interest in comedy.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/22 04:37 AM
-1

I have approached strangers after seeing their act on stage. I didn’t know anything about them except that they were funny. Several of them have become friends but they are mostly too young for me to date.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/22 04:24 AM
1

How do you know if you share common values and interests when you’re approaching a stranger? I can see this when asking out a friend, but not a stranger in public.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/22 04:23 AM
1

Identifying what you don’t like about yourself is a step in the right direction. The next step is to figure out how to change the things you can change and let go of the things you can’t. You can get physically, emotionally, and mentally more healthy by seeking the help of experts. You can work towards a rewarding career by going to college or seeking an internship or other career building things. You can make more money and get your own place by building that career. You can find and develop in…
/r/ExRedPill04/07/22 04:02 AM
3

I am much more likely to talk to an average looking guy than a hot one IRL. I’ve bought drinks for plenty of average guys when at local comedy shows but it is because I enjoy their company, not because I want to date them.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/22 03:54 AM
4

I’m very unlikely to approach a guy I find attractive because good looks are not even close to the most important thing to me about a man. He has to cross a much higher bar than being pretty for me to want to invest any time or effort into him.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/22 03:53 AM
2

I always ask a guy out on a date first when OLD but I rarely see men in the wild that I would want to date. Not to mention, looks are about the 10th most important thing on my list of what I want in a partner. If I see a guy out somewhere who looks good, I still don’t know if he’s religious, dumb, uneducated, mean, shallow, unfunny, rude, conservative, disrespectful, a player, or emotionally unintelligent. There are just too many unknowns for me to be interested in investing any time or effort. …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/22 03:51 AM
7

I’m a 5’8” woman, 135 lbs, long legs, noodle arms. I have three body types I really like in men: 5’10” or shorter, slim and wirey. Muscles and veins show up on forearms due to low body fat. Can feel his ribs and hip bones when I touch him. 5’10”-6’2”, slim and fit but not too muscular. Again, I like seeing the shape of slender muscles in arms. Stomach can be flat or have some pooch. 6’2-6’5” with a fuller build and some tummy pooch. A bit of love handles is cute too at this size. When I date wom…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/22 03:11 AM
3

I work at a very expensive restaurant. There are beautiful people there every night.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/22 02:13 PM
7

They don’t want a woman. They want a servant who looks like a woman.
/r/ExRedPill03/07/22 02:06 PM
1

I’ve never felt like I was in danger but many women have.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/22 04:05 AM
1

I’ve never felt like I was in danger and I’ve been using OLD for 4.5 years but I may be the exception.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/22 04:05 AM
1

I can tell when people are being real or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/22 01:07 AM
1

I’m not on Tinder. I’m on Bumble and it’s great for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/22 11:04 PM
1

I’m not having sex with most of these men. It’s not my fault they can’t turn down a pretty face.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/22 11:04 PM
1

A man can be vulnerable with me on the first date and I will like it. Just don’t be fake. I can’t handle fake people.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/22 10:19 PM
1

I mean, I get to go out with, literally, any man I choose so IDK. From 22-52, I can pick a man online and he’ll match with me. It is what it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/22 10:18 PM
1

Dude. I’m 45 years old. I’ve learned a few things.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/22 10:17 PM
1

He won’t get the chance.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/22 09:50 PM
2

Bob the cactus was named when I was still a teen. Bob the bf is my battery operated boyfriend.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/22 06:37 PM
1

I think it was a confession of sorts to see if I would be turned off by it.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/22 02:01 PM
1

Hot girls with no personality are way more insecure than above average women like me who are not exactly hot but attractive and have decent personalities. Being insecure is rare for me but it happens sometimes.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/22 01:59 PM
0

Not at all. The point is that even when you’re sometimes going out with someone who is totally appropriate for you, you can get into a bad headspace:
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/22 01:57 PM
1

You get to choose how you respond. That is absolutely true.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/22 02:35 AM
3

I’m sure he has flaws. They don’t come out on a first date. We’ll see if it’s a flash in the pan or something long term and wonderful.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/22 12:39 AM
1

The first reaction reflects your reflexes. The way you respond after that reflects your values.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/22 12:36 AM
3

I sleep very well.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/22 12:33 AM
2

People who have no one haven’t done the work to build community. Making friends and community requires direct action and intent. When I move to a new area, I immediately work to start meeting Mt neighbors and new friends. It doesn’t happen organically these days. You have to make it happen.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/22 12:32 AM
0

You get to determine how you process information that comes in from the outside.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 11:49 PM
1

I’m only insecure about small things but I try to keep it to myself and project only confidence and kindness.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 11:49 PM
0

He is my equal.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 10:48 PM
-2

If I tell you you’re going to tell me I have an ego
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 10:06 PM
1

Neither are, actually
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 10:06 PM
1

It was a very specific program created in CA. Several movies have been made about it. He’s an internist and doesn’t do that work anymore but he did it years ago.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 09:37 PM
-2

Ask my date.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 09:33 PM
-4

If that’s all you have to offer, then I’d agree. Some of us have a lot more to offer the world.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 07:06 PM
1

Thanks.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 06:40 PM
1

Time will tell. He would pass the bar for almost any woman but he told ME I was the best date he’s ever had so I have hope.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 06:32 PM
1

I have fond memories of lovers and am still friends with a couple of exes but I’m not sure I ever miss them as a partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 06:18 PM
1

I would date a person who was an upgrade in most ways but not in any way that is very important to me like sex. I guess, since my trajectory has been from cheating, misogynistic gutter husband to handsome, emotionally available, affectionate, and affirming doctor, it’s only every felt like upward movement to me. My ex husband made a ton of money and I sometimes miss the vacations but I don’t miss him and I’m perfectly happy with the camping trips my kids and I take now. I can’t think of an ex wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 06:13 PM
1

I guess I do fine in the market so I’m not too concerned about my value there.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 06:09 PM
1

I mean, an upgrade is an upgrade. If you want her, I’m glad you’re happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 06:00 PM
1

I don’t miss anyone I’ve dated because I keep leveling up and dating people who are more and more compatible with me. Why are you dating someone who isn’t a level up?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 05:51 PM
1

My worth is both sexual and relational.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 05:50 PM
2

I am slightly above average in looks. I’m tall and fit, have decent genes, curly hair, and cute freckles. I’m not gorgeous but I’m attractive enough to land dates.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 05:49 PM
-1

There is no such thing as too high of self worth. Hopefully this is the beginning of a beautiful love story. Check back in three years and I’ll let you know.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 05:48 PM
2

It’s been almost five years of online dating to finally strike gold. It takes patience and effort. These people exist but you have to sort through a lot of just okay first dates to get the exact one you want. If I’d settled for less in those last hard years, I wouldn’t have been available to find this guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 05:47 PM
2

I am only mildly insecure and very happy with my life but I didn’t start there. I had to do the work to get there, just like a top athlete. You can’t never go to the gym and then complain that you’re a bad athlete. Similarly, you can’t do no work on your attitude and self love and complain that you don’t have self-confidence. It’s a skill you have to practice.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 05:45 PM
1

I don’t get your point.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 05:44 PM
1

The good news is that I’m used to failure. Will do better next time.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 05:43 PM
1

I don’t know what that means.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 05:43 PM
1

What does that even mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 05:42 PM
1

I think I am generally more secure than some other beautiful women because I wasn’t always attractive nor in the dating market. I was married and very average looking for most of my life so I had to learn to attract friends with personality, wit, and helpfulness. Being valued for things other than looks helped me see my own worth. Then when I got looks and then got single, I got even more positive feedback because I had already spent decades on my personality, education, community, and self-este…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 05:41 PM
1

Not all people with high body counts are whores. I agree about the values but I consider it a plus in a potential partner if he is experienced in both love and sex. If a lot of women have wanted to be with him in the past, in my dating experience, that means he’s a kind and affectionate person.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 05:37 PM
0

I feel like there are a lot more people in this group than just incels. Either way, incels are more of a victim of their own mindsets than they are of any reality in the world. Learning to love themselves is the best work they could do to get a date and find love.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 05:35 PM
0

I don’t believe my body count lowers my value in any way. If anything, it increases it because I know what men want and what they don’t want and I know how to make a man feel good about himself. That kind of skill doesn’t happen in a vacuum. You have to practice.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 05:34 PM
1

Don’t what?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 05:33 PM
1

Am I?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 05:32 PM
0

I think that self esteem is absolutely something that anyone can grow and experience. I haven’t always been the way I am now. I used to be very heavy after having three kids. I still had self esteem then because I knew that my value didn’t come from what people thought of my looks but rather my inherent value and the fact that I make people around me feel good about themselves. As a teacher, much of my job is encouraging kids that they can and will succeed. Self-esteem requires a positive outloo…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 05:32 PM
1

I didn’t mean you are a liar. I meant that purity culture is a lie. I apologize for the confusion.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 04:01 PM
1

I was married for 20 years. I didn’t start fucking around until I was 40. I’m not easy, I just have a LOT of cars to rest drive.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 04:00 PM
1

It’s reasonable to put off a relationship until you feel completely ready. That’s why I don’t have any bitterness towards that guy who essentially rejected me for being “too attractive.” Jesus.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 03:59 PM
7

I was surprised to find myself feeling insecure and I guess wanted to share that it happens to everyone. Was trying to be empathetic. Failed hard.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 03:57 PM
2

I suppose that is true. I guess I assumed men and women because women I know tend to be more sex positive and the men in this group are really down on women with high body counts.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 03:53 PM
4

I don’t tend to compare myself to others IRL, but in the context of this group, we have terminology that we use to expedite conversation. Statistically, I’m thinner, prettier, and more educated than 50% of other women in the US so that would make me above average, even if just by a little bit.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 03:52 PM
0

I didn’t mean it to read that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 03:50 PM
1

Well, no relationship is going to make you 100% happy. I got married at 20 and it started out great and grew to be awful. Now, after dating for the last 5 years a lot of different people, I know exactly what I want and what I won’t tolerate and I’m able to choose the very best partner rather than settle. That seems like a huge win to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 03:49 PM
-1

Being divorced has a very high correlation with happiness in women. Divorce is the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. Also, many of us with high counts can’t get pregnant. That’s part of why I can have multiple partners. It sounds like high body count is good for women, bad for men who want to date them.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 03:47 PM
1

What leads you to think that?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 03:45 PM
1

Doesn’t mean it’s true. It’s all BS made up to control women.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 03:45 PM
1

Lying about anything is an immediate no for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 03:45 PM
1

Can I post it again another time?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 03:44 PM
2

I think we’ve all blown up relationships due to our own insecurities. I do well in the dating market but I still get inside my own head sometimes and imagine I’m inferior even when the other person doesn’t think so. The key there, for me, is to keep my insecurities to myself and pretend I value me as much as my partner does. It was pretty hard with one of these guys because I was very, very attracted to him and liked him a lot. I wanted a LTR with him but he kept expressing that I was out of his…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 03:44 PM
0

Ah. That makes sense. Sex for me is almost always an emotional and sometimes spiritual experience even if it’s just a ONS.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 03:40 PM
2

I can see your point. There are probably more complex reasons for this distain for high body count women but most loathing for others comes from a loathing for self. Men often look up to men with high body counts but look down on women for the same. Why do you think that is?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 03:39 PM
2

I agree. I track my runs to make sure I’m getting faster and more fit than myself rather than getting faster than someone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 03:38 PM
0

I can see that point of view. I have been with a lot of men but I’ve got two potentials right now that I could see being the best I’ve ever had. Don’t you think that if a woman has tried all the rest and decides to pick you that you are probably the Lamborghini?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 03:37 PM
1

We all have insecurities but women tend to push them inward while men tend to push them outward towards women.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 03:35 PM
0

What is this automatic disgust reflex? Maybe I don’t understand because I’m a woman. I like a man with prior experience because he has gotten good at intimacy and has learned what he wants in a partner. What kind of mental disorder goes with a high body count?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 03:35 PM
0

That’s not biologically possible. Toothpaste is a thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 03:33 PM
0

I’m not judging. I’m just asking. My brother has only ever been with his wife and I respect that. I have been with too many men to count. I respect that too.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 03:32 PM
1

I don’t exactly understand what this has to do with my post. Can you elaborate?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 03:32 PM
1

If a company has a high turnover rate it’s because the company is probably not a great place to work. A woman with the high body count is the opposite of that. People really want to work there but she’s picky about who she settles down with.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 03:31 PM
1

Are those reasons or just things they tell themselves to not face their own insecurities?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 03:29 PM
-2

Why would a high N count be a problem? I can understand the values thing but I’d rather have a good lover with a long past than an inexperienced one with no past.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 03:28 PM
0

I think that’s just an excuse.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 03:27 PM
3

That’s probably true. I don’t need to lose weight but I do need more muscle. Edit to add: congratulations on your increasing fitness. Feels good, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 03:20 PM
24

Well said. I’m very fit and twice have dated a chubby guy. In both cases, their lack of self esteem when being naked with me was a huge turn off. They both complained that I was so thin and light and they felt like gross fat people around me. There is no incentive for me to date a man who isn’t as fit as I am because then I have to deal with a whole other set of problems.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 02:58 PM
4

I’m sure those photos are representative but I wonder about the description. It says “A 5’4” – 5’6” woman of 130 – 135 lbs will probably be at 25 to 27% Body Fat. I kind of look like the 25-27% picture but I’m 5’8” and weight 135.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 02:55 PM
6

People who are overweight who spend time together tend to get fatter, not fitter.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 02:48 PM
12

That sounds like insecurity to me. The real reason men don’t want women with high body counts is because they know, of those 30 guys she’s been with, some of them are hotter than you, smarter than you, better lovers, more successful, and probably have bigger dicks. You want a woman with no experience so she will think she found something special when she’s with you. If she’s test driven a Lamborghini, your Honda Accord isn’t going to seem very special.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 02:46 PM
1

Why? I date men who want to date me, unless they’re too young or old.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 01:38 PM
3

To you.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/22 11:47 PM
2

I have a Christmas cactus named Bob. Oddly, that’s also my bf name.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/22 11:46 PM
3

I eat vegetables every day and don’t feel one bit bad about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/22 10:38 PM
1

Then why are you asking women to change what’s comfortable for them to work out in? Also, YOU are the exact reasons that many gyms have a women’s only area. You know what the women wear when they work out in that area? The same thing they wear in the rest of the gym. Proof that they’re not there for male attention.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/22 07:46 PM
1

I’ve already explained. Loose clothing causes chafing when you work out. Tight workout clothes are not difficult to get into and out of, especially for the fit women going to the gym. We’re not 90 years old.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/22 07:33 PM
4

OP views her husband as passive but that might not be the case. Most successful relationships are based on both partners being cooperative rather than one passive and one dominant. If they’re both successful in their workplaces, they probably know this.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/22 07:31 PM
1

Harder than just minding your own business.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/22 07:29 PM
4

She’s a strong woman with a career so she must be a lesbian? Hot take.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/22 07:13 PM
8

Fun fact. A person doesn’t need to be either dominant or submissive. I am this woman and I am cooperative.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/22 07:12 PM
2

The majority of the women I know are like this.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/22 07:11 PM
2

I prefer the term Queen but will also accept Strong Independent Woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/22 07:10 PM
1

Spoken like a simple person.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/22 06:10 PM
1

Women don’t tend to appreciate it. How hard is it to divert your eyes?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/22 06:09 PM
1

What if they’re sexually attracted to you?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/22 05:49 PM
1

Yeah. It sucks that not everything can be easily boiled down to a meme length concept. Life and humans are complicated.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/22 05:48 PM
1

Yet you don’t act creepy towards men who are half naked. How do you feel when a man stares at you at the gym?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/22 05:46 PM
1

They’re both traditional and modern. You know, more than one label. Like almost everything.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/22 05:46 PM
14

You can stop watering them now.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/22 05:05 PM
4

Women’s hobbies vary greatly depending on life stage.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/22 04:25 PM
12

I do a lot of plant watering.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/22 04:25 PM
2

I lived in Orlando for 5 years and loved it. I went to grad school there.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/22 03:09 PM
1

Most of the people I know are like me. Maybe you live in an area of bad people? Ohio maybe?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/22 02:44 PM
1

He didn’t take 20 years from me. The majority of those years were very good. We traveled a lot, raised some great kids, had adventures and plenty of fun, bought and sold some houses, built businesses together, and had good sex. We grew apart and grew to be different people. It was time well spent and now I’ve moved on to the next phase of my life. It is precisely because much of my marriage was nice that I want another relationship. In fact, the majority of people I’ve dated or gone on dates wit…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/22 02:00 PM
1

Yet my experience tells me the exact opposite
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/22 01:36 PM
1

ALL? Not possible.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/22 01:22 PM
1

All feelings are valid. However, dwelling in certain head spaces rather than feeling the feelings as then letting them go is a recipe for bitterness. The antidote to bitterness is gratitude. The more we can find things in our lives to be grateful for, the more those uncomfortable feelings go away.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/22 01:20 PM
1

Disappointment comes from unreasonable expectations every time. Pessimism is a choice because many people have experienced what you’ve experienced and still choose to be optimistic.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/22 01:13 PM
1

My point is that many other people have experienced the same disappointment you have but it hasn’t turned them pessimistic. I could tell you horror stories of things I’ve experienced in my life but instead of becoming pessimistic, I became darkly and deeply funny.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/22 01:09 PM
1

Maybe your pessimism is a self-fulfilling prophesy. You see what you want to see. I see humans as good and benevolent and therefore notice much more when people treat me well than when they don’t. You notice the opposite.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/22 01:05 PM
1

I was abused too. But I still have hope and optimism. It’s all about growing as a person, doing the work to heal, and finding out what makes you happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/22 12:57 PM
1

My ex wasn’t an asshole for 20 years. He was fine until he got tired of the relationship. That’s fine. I was tired of him too. I’m sorry you have such a negative view of life and women. I am much older and have experienced the opposite of what you’ve experienced. It’s not normal to be so pessimistic. You’re not normal in that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/22 12:44 PM
1

I’m a woman and a good one at that. Half the population is female. You have as good a chance of finding a good person as I do but you’ll never find one if you keep settling for people who don’t treat you right. You need to raise your standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/22 12:38 PM
1

I doubt it.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/22 12:29 PM
1

They’re not putting themselves on display, they’re working out. Do you stare at a man and assume he wants you to hit on him if he’s working out without his shirt on?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/22 05:21 AM
1

Everyone does not cheat.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/22 05:20 AM
1

We wear tight leggings. And many of us don’t get chafing from skin.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/22 05:18 AM
1

You got me. You’re so right.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/22 04:44 AM
1

There’s nothing to blame here. Neither the manufacturers nor the women at the gym are doing anything wrong. Women get to wear what they want and men need to get over it and not be creepy about it. I was simply saying it’s harder for me, personally, to find the style I want to buy right now because it is kind of out of style.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/22 04:44 AM
1

Choosing women who cheat on you is absolutely your fault and isn’t life threatening or hard to avoid. Domestic abuse is life threatening even with cops and shelters. Check out the stats sometime.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/22 01:30 AM
1

I was thinking of the gym shorts we had to wear in high school. Those were too baggy and very uncomfortable. It’s harder for me to find my style of workout tops because most of the main manufacturers are making crop tops and sports bra type tops.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/22 01:29 AM
12

Gyms are not pickup spots. They are places for people who want to be healthy but don’t want to die of heat stroke to work out. Respect the gym, please.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/22 01:27 AM
6

Baggy clothes cause chafing. If I’m running 6 miles on a treadmill, I need clothes that can stand up to that kind of workout. I prefer to run outside but it’s very hot right now. Hence the tight, small clothes. I don’t show my stomach when I work out but it’s getting harder and harder to find full workout shirts for women in stores. I have to hit thrift stores to find the moisture wicking shirts I want that aren’t too tiny or too big to be comfortable.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/22 01:20 AM
3

We are at the gym to work out, not to get hit on. Feel free to look but don’t stare. Respect her space and don’t hit on her. Just work out and go home. That’s what us women do.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/22 01:13 AM
1

Clearly these are two different things because leaving an abuser is often dangerous for a woman. I don’t blame her for being afraid but I would blame her for going right to another abusive person. Fool me once… and all that.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/22 01:11 AM
0

If you see a negative pattern in your life, it’s probably not them. It’s probably you. It’s not your fault if you find out your partner is a cheater. It is your fault if you exclusively date cheaters.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/22 01:00 AM
3

Probably true.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/22 12:29 AM
1

But you don’t think you’re choosing the wrong people? I was married for 20 years and my husband cheated on me. I was surprised but I did what you’re supposed to do and got divorced. I changed completely the type of person I was willing to date and have had a few losers but didn’t stick around long enough for them to cheat. I think you just need help identifying red flags.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/22 12:28 AM
1

You are enough just the way you are. Red Pill doesn’t acknowledge that fact.
/r/ExRedPill30/06/22 12:25 AM
3

I’m not the enemy, friend. You can save your loathing for someone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/22 12:13 AM
3

I’m sure you’re the only women who dates women who knows how they work.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/22 11:59 PM
4

Yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/22 11:33 PM
1

How big is your data set?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/22 11:32 PM
8

I was a SAHM for 14 years. However, I didn’t have my first child until I already had a master’s degree and was running my own small business. Then I felt like I was educationally, financially, and emotionally stable enough to stay home with kids. I don’t recommend any woman have a child until she can support herself easily. Of course I’m divorced now (because getting married at 20 is foolish) and I can support myself and my kids and don’t have to rely on child support.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/22 11:26 PM
27

That’s not true at all. I am a feminine woman and when I date women, I date other feminine women. The beauty of that arrangement is that there isn’t a man. Neither one of us wants the other to take a “masculine” role. We like femininity and that’s why we are dating each other and not a man.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/22 11:18 PM
4

I’ve been cheated on once. Then I stopped dating cheaters. Maybe you need a course in identifying red flags.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/22 11:15 PM
1

I think it is a mistake to classify all men and women in one lump. My comment here was supposed to be a joke. In poor taste, I suppose. One of my personal failings. All humans have flaws but trying to point them out to people is usually not helpful. People need to look into themselves and acknowledge their flaws and work to fix them. I find it a rare and beautiful human who does that regularly, male or female.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/22 10:09 PM
3

Sounds like they keep picking the wrong people to date.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/22 10:06 PM
-1

I always ask a guy out first and tend to view every other date as my responsibility, either to plan or to pay for or both.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/22 07:20 PM
4

Men I date are feminists and still pay for dates, open does, and pay their bills. They don’t pay my bills but they do give me gifts.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/22 07:20 PM
13

Because most of the supposed purple pill guys here are still harboring red pill resentments towards women because they don’t get laid very often.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/22 05:32 PM
4

Women my age don’t settle down too soon in a relationship. Also, most guys end up only getting 1-3 dates before I decide to move on. I’m shopping, not buying. My romantic partner isn’t quite ready to settle down either. No one is a cuck and everyone is getting what they want in the situation. I understand this is hard for younger people to get but relationships change a lot over time. Young people are all about getting laid or getting settled with “the one.” People my age have our own homes and …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/22 05:31 PM
3

I am sexually monogamous but I haven’t decided to get emotionally exclusive yet.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/22 04:26 PM
51

According to this Reddit, everything women do is worse than when men do it. Duh.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/22 03:54 PM
11

I think whoever does the inviting is paying for the date. If I invite a guy out to dinner, I assume I’m paying. Most of the guys I date make more money than I do because I work in a shit industry so they’d be offended if I tried to pay for a dinner where they asked me out.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/22 03:52 PM
1

I generally only date guys I find attractive but I recently took a chance on a guy who isn’t the best looking guy out there but his profile was so good, I had to meet him. Now I’m head over heels for him and think he’s gorgeous.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/22 03:06 PM
3

That’s probably why I’m even on Reddit. People can be counted on to be very cruel here. It’s a good time, IMO.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/22 02:45 PM
6

I already know. It’s fine. I never lose sleep over what people on Reddit think of me. And, I’m a bit of a masochist.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/22 02:34 PM
4

Preparing to get destroyed. I am a rather sensible 45 yo single mom and I generally follow, with exceptions for the crazy shit, FDS. I can separate the good from the bad on that site but I’ve found FDS has helped me tremendously in weeding out men who aren’t worth my time and, as a result, I have now a rotating schedule of amazing men who far exceed my desires in a partner. Eventually, I’ll pick one of them and settle down. Today is not that day.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/22 12:46 PM
7

Everything about red pill would be laughable if it didn’t make already dangerous men so full of rage towards women.
/r/ExRedPill29/06/22 11:50 AM
2

Expressing yourself, sexually or otherwise, is whatever you want it to be. You do you and let others do the same. This is the way.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/22 01:42 PM
4

I had to accept that there is no god (that was actually a relief) and that I may live the rest of my life without a fulfilling romantic relationship. I’m okay with that but it does make me a bit sad.
/r/ExRedPill28/06/22 01:40 PM
3

I am 45, a 50/50 single mom, and a teacher and I get a ton of sexual and romantic attention. I got it also when I was younger but it was more sexual attention back then. I was then married for 20 years so I didn’t pay attention to it for a few decades. I have never felt invisible and I have no doubt I can get either sex or a relationship at pretty much any time I want it.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/22 01:14 PM
2

You do you
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/22 01:02 PM
1

I wasn’t ready for a real relationship after my 20 year marriage ended. It’s been four years now of being single and I’m ready again to get my emotions involved. That means I’m looking for more than just sex now.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/22 12:54 PM
3

I’m over flings. No fun for me there.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/22 11:50 PM
14

I am 45 and I date according to life experience, not age. If you’re 32, have a kid, a job, and a home, you’re in. If you’re 32 and live with five bros and play video games all day, nah.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/22 08:14 PM
7

I’ve already explained.
/r/ExRedPill27/06/22 07:36 PM
7

Again, historical snowballs.
/r/ExRedPill27/06/22 07:34 PM
6

Women do NOW. For hundreds of years women couldn’t inherit wealth. This has long reaching consequences that are somewhat, but not completely, undone by current attempts to reinstate those rights.
/r/ExRedPill27/06/22 07:31 PM
6

Again, the lack of rights in history are a snowball that becomes a lack of rights in the now. Yes, Black people in the US technically have the right to get a mortgage, but the historic lack of that right carries on to be in reality, not a current right.
/r/ExRedPill27/06/22 07:27 PM
8

Since you’re not American, you clearly don’t understand. Maybe where you come from women have more rights than men but not in the US.
/r/ExRedPill27/06/22 07:21 PM
11

I’ve known several single women who wanted to get their tubes tied or get an IUD before they’d ever had children and they were told no. I had to sign a bunch of waivers before I was “allowed” and IUD and I had already had two kids.
/r/ExRedPill27/06/22 07:20 PM
9

I am both a woman and a POC. The lack of rights of both women and my Indigenous family have far reaching consequences. I am not represented in government as a woman, a POC, or an atheist because those people have historically been prevented from holding office for hundreds of years. My own grandfather was kidnapped by the government as a child and “re-educated” to strip him of his language and culture. He never qualified for a mortgage due to his ethnicity. Women and POC didn’t get to participat…
/r/ExRedPill27/06/22 07:11 PM
7

I have been an anti MGM activist for 12 years. I happily handed 50% custody to my ex because it is what’s best for the kids and happily pay my child support as well. In a few small pockets, women in the US have a bit more in terms of rights but the overall experience of women in the US is one of having to fight for equal rights every day. I was also in the military so I did that service as well. The draft hasn’t been used in 50 years and is against all ideals of human rights. It needs to be done…
/r/ExRedPill27/06/22 06:57 PM
14

I do live in the US. My statement is factually correct.
/r/ExRedPill27/06/22 06:44 PM
13

Men have always had more rights than women in my country.
/r/ExRedPill27/06/22 06:37 PM
10

I’ve met zero guys who were questioned when they asked for a vasectomy. Abortion and contraception for women is rapidly being outlawed in then US, in case you haven’t read the news.
/r/ExRedPill27/06/22 06:32 PM
22

If a woman can’t get an abortion or get her tubes tied without her husband’s permission, then men need to get vasectomies.
/r/ExRedPill27/06/22 06:24 PM
26

I guess guys will just have to get vasectomies then if they want to keep having sex.
/r/ExRedPill27/06/22 06:21 PM
24

Time is changing in here. My ex and I share kids 50/50 and pay each other child support based on our income. Men do have the choice to not see their kid if they don’t want to and they don’t even have to pay child support if they’re unconcerned about legal ramifications. Usually the legal ramifications are small.
/r/ExRedPill27/06/22 06:16 PM
21

Some of us take very drastic steps to make sure we don’t make more kids. I’ve had a tubal ligation and a uterine ablation because I don’t ever want another baby or an abortion. That type of birth control doesn’t fail. Most of my former partners have had vasectomies. There is birth control that works if you want it bad enough. It totally your right to not have casual sex. It’s just that people don’t HAVE to let this decision change their dating lives. Edit: it’s not a subtle brag to say I’m datin…
/r/ExRedPill27/06/22 05:51 PM
7

That’s why we have ways to clean it. Duh.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/22 05:45 PM
3

No sexual act is degrading if both partners are consenting and excited about it. I love all sorts of kinky stuff but I only participate in that with a partner who respects me deeply and is interested first and foremost with my pleasure.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/22 05:44 PM
39

Who has it worse with abortion being illegal is obvious. Who has it worse in dating depends on how many incels you’re polling. The men I date have no trouble getting dates and won’t have any problem with it now because they support abortion and know how to not get a woman pregnant.
/r/ExRedPill27/06/22 05:41 PM
100

Men don’t risk their lives when they get a woman pregnant. And, child support is only required if the man makes more money than the woman or wants less custody. If it’s 50/50, then both parties pay. I’m tired of men pretending this outcome is somehow worse for them or even equally bad. My last birth literally killed my and I had to have my heart restarted.
/r/ExRedPill27/06/22 05:15 PM
5

No level of male attention or lack of male attention will ever have bearing on my value as a person. Average men should comfort themselves with this same idea. Value yourself and others will too.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/22 01:19 AM
1

I’m sure you’ve adopted many kids from foster care then, since you care for children so much?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/22 06:59 PM
20

Did you have $25k or did you put yourself in debt? Do you want to stop or do you need to?
/r/ExRedPill26/06/22 06:38 PM
1

I can’t help people who won’t help themselves
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/22 06:37 PM
1

I’m just saying. You don’t really have a horse in this race so I’m wondering why you even have an opinion.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/22 06:36 PM
0

Except books have a long history of existence and of being vetted where YouTube does not. Even better, read original and peer reviewed research. There is absolutely a hierarchy of the validity of sources and you don’t need a PhD to figure that out.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/22 06:29 PM
0

What’s your point? Don’t like to read and learn, don’t do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/22 06:24 PM
0

Except it’s clearly not working for men as it’s not increasing their ability to find a partner. Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result just means you’re a moron. Anyone with two braincells to rub together knows that YouTube isn’t a valid place to get information.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/22 06:20 PM
1

Since you don’t get laid it’s a moot point for you though.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/22 06:17 PM
0

No fetus has a 100% chance of living and neither does the mother. I had three healthy pregnancies and the last birth killed me and they had to restart my heart. No matter the prognosis for the fetus, the mother’s life and bodily autonomy trump anything else.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/22 06:17 PM
1

Are you consenting to child support every time you have sex? Even if the condom breaks? Even if the birth control fails? Oh wait. A man who doesn’t respect a woman’s right to chose isn’t having sex. My bad.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/22 06:13 PM
1

It’s not a baby. I have three babies and I can tell the difference between a non-sentient bunch of cells and a human baby. They are vastly different. Plenty of women have conflicting feelings about getting an abortion but that doesn’t negate the fact that it’s her body and she gets to decide who resides there and who doesn’t. Many pregnancies are not from women choosing to invite it. It doesn’t have to be rape for it to be unchosen. I was asking if YOU, personally, would kill a man who put his b…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/22 06:08 PM
0

Sentience is absolutely what matters. That’s why it’s not illegal to take a brain dead patient off life support and happens regularly.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/22 06:01 PM
0

I’d everything goes well, I’m bringing a human child into the world but, until it is sentient, it’s not a baby. You don’t feel bad about killing and eating a carrot or an oyster because they are not sentient. A fetus is not either so there is no harm in removing it from life support. Either way, it is illegal for a person to stay in my home if I don’t want them there and I have the legal right to kill a person who enters my home without my permission or fails to leave when I ask them to. A fetus…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/22 05:19 PM
1

I once cried when my bf turned me down for sex and I’ve been sad when someone broke things off or didn’t want to be with me but I’ve never been angry or mean about it. There is no point in sharing anger with others even if you feel it.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/22 05:07 PM
10

Everyone has a different learning style. I’m on the autism spectrum so learning just through interacting can have poor outcomes for me. I’ve learned how to interact successfully in such a way as to attract people to me and make them feel good about themselves at the same time by studying. I read research, books about relationships and communication, blogs by psychologists and communication experts, listen to podcasts, and observe neuro-typical people relating to each other. Your way of learning …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/22 04:50 PM
9

After suggesting someone read a book, a commenter here suggested I get with the times (but in not such a polite way). I don’t mind the haters. I have a degree in nonfiction and I am an English teacher. I learn something from a book every day and it makes me a better person and a better teacher. Ignorant people laughing at you for reading for pleasure and to learn are like obese people laughing at you for being fit, eating well, and exercising. An obese person can laugh all they want but I know I…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/22 04:47 PM
1

Sex and intimacy is a need but it isn’t a right. People having bodily autonomy should be a right that is protected by the government, both for men and women. Men who say women should just stop having sex if they don’t want an abortion are suggesting that women not be able to take care of their own needs nor make decisions about their own bodies. The same man who is staring that is saying “why do women get mad at incels who are crying about not getting laid if sex is a need.” Yes, sex is a need b…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/22 04:42 PM
9

Once again, a man is blaming women for his inability to get women. If YoU dOnT TeAcH mE HoW tO bE GoOd aT DaTiNG iM GoInG To GeT mOr iNTo rEd pIll!!! What is wrong with reading a book? Men are constantly demanding that other people do the work for them to help them get good at flirting and dating and being a man and sex. Literally, hundreds of books, maybe more, have been written by people who are highly trained and experienced relationship experts. Why not avail yourself of the library and take…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/22 04:25 PM
1

I mean, you just described yourself, sis.
/r/ExRedPill24/06/22 04:51 AM
4

Graduating high school is not being educationally accomplished. You’re not an athlete. You’re a person who works out sometimes. Get real, sis.
/r/ExRedPill24/06/22 04:02 AM
7

You’re just parroting other morons without understanding anything. Please get out of your mom’s basement and go to college. The only antidote for ignorance is education.
/r/ExRedPill24/06/22 03:52 AM
6

I’m only stating facts the same way you are.
/r/ExRedPill24/06/22 03:46 AM
4

I don’t believe you for one second. Lol. You’ve never been laid in your life.
/r/ExRedPill24/06/22 03:46 AM
10

So what? It’s all academic to you at this point because women don’t want to be with you and men don’t respect you.
/r/ExRedPill24/06/22 03:36 AM
12

No one here is going to agree with you. We are all too smart to listen to red pill bs. Go cry into your tissue box because no woman is ever going to want you with an attitude like this.
/r/ExRedPill24/06/22 03:12 AM
3

The best way to change your mindset is to educate yourself. Read some books or blogs from feminist writers and about women who have struggled and overcome. You’ve been trained to hate women. Now is time to try to understand them and gain empathy for them so you can see them as actual human beings.
/r/ExRedPill23/06/22 08:45 PM
2

Like I said. I’ve put a lot of time and effort into researching and practicing good sex. It’s vital to me that my partner be blown away (double entendres intended) after they’ve slept with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 06:05 PM
1

I do a whole lot more than just lie there.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 06:04 PM
1

There’s words in the book. Use a library. It’s free. You want me to spend MY time teaching you but you’re not willing to use YOUR time? It would take you, like, three days to read that book.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 06:03 PM
1

I’ll edit it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 06:01 PM
1

I don’t have much completely casual sex. I’m a serial monogamist. I only have these serial partnerships with men who I respect and am attracted to. Then they end up not getting better with time and I get frustrated and move on.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 06:01 PM
1

I had one partner for the first 20 years of my sex life. We learned together for the most part until I started taking the lead and taking us to new places.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 05:59 PM
1

Since you must know. I was an active member of a kink community for more than five years. I’ve tried EVERYTHING and I will still do anything someone requests of me. I know how to make a man feel good about himself and I know how to make sex exciting, pleasurable, and fun. I don’t need to list positions because you already know what they all are. Yes, I do ALL the things. I even made a man feel comfortable and great about his cross dressing fetish which he had never felt safe enough to share with…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 05:56 PM
2

I do communicate what I want and what I like. If a dude is still doing it his way after a couple of months and not doing what makes me feel good, I’m not going to keep hounding on it over and over again. I’m going to just move on because he clearly doesn’t care.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 05:50 PM
1

What is the normal way?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 05:48 PM
1

What’s the normal way?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 05:48 PM
1

It’s a matter of pride for me too. It’s a huge ego boost when someone DM’s me four years later and says “you’ve ruined blow jobs for me” or “I still think about all the fun we had.” It’s nice to make an impression that makes me stand out. I’m decent looking and thin but far from the hottest 45 yo out there. If I can make an impression because someone leaves my presence feeling like a god, I’m going to do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 05:47 PM
1

Like, repeating yourself for 11 months? I did that once. I really liked the guy but he was never going to step up.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 05:45 PM
1

They are generally guys I really like and so they become regular lovers but then, after a while, they don’t get better at sex, even with me telling them what I like and what turns me on and how I achieve orgasm. They want to keep trying the same stuff over and over again and expecting different results. Then I get frustrated and ask them to step up and they complain that I haven’t taught them how to do that. It’s happened to me on more than one occasion. I eventually get tired of the crappy sex,…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 05:42 PM
1

I’ve read a lot of great sex ideas in books and heard about them on podcasts. I never told anyone I didn’t come up with it. I also got a lot of great ideas from my kink community. No need to explain how you learned to do that, just do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 05:38 PM
1

You do the same
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 05:35 PM
1

The difference is that I also wrote the curriculum and just asked for feedback. It’s not teaching if I’m the one coming up with what to try and he’s just saying good or not good.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 05:35 PM
1

Telling someone your preferences is one thing. Having to explain to a man where the clit is and why that’s important is ridiculous.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 05:34 PM
1

You’ll never know. I’m know what I know.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 05:33 PM
1

Sure. Preferences are one thing. Having to teach a dude where the clit is and why that’s important is something entirely different.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 05:33 PM
1

I’m not angry. I’m tired. That’s different.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 05:32 PM
1

I said right in the post that I communicate what I like. What I don’t do is teach sex ed classes.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 05:31 PM
1

That’s how it should be. I’m not going to pretend I like something I don’t like but I will express it when they do something I do like.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 05:31 PM
1

I’m not here to feed your fantasies. I’m not going to describe what it’s like to have sex with me. Your imagination is so limited and influenced by porn, it’s tragic.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 05:29 PM
0

Now you know.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 05:28 PM
1

That doesn’t jive with what all the other guys on here are saying/ that every woman is so incredibly different that they couldn’t possibly learn basic skills that would help them be better lovers.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 05:27 PM
1

Of course I can please myself. That’s not the point of having sex with a partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 05:26 PM
1

So I really need one?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 05:25 PM
1

A book on how to sail a boat will give you the basics you need. Then you adjust what you do based into the conditions of the ocean. But, if you don’t learn basic sailing skills first, you’ll be lost at sea.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 04:10 PM
1

I agree that everyone is responsible for their own happiness. If you truly believed everyone was responsible for their own pleasure during sex, your best lover would just be a woman who laid there and did nothing.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 04:09 PM
1

No. I tried things, checked to see how it went, asked for feedback later. That’s different than a man saying do this, now do this, now do this. That would get tedious.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 04:08 PM
1

Obviously, ask her before you try something if you’re not sure she’ll like it. I feel bad for you if you think women can’t be good at sex. You clearly have a very limited imagination. My last sexcapade lasted almost four hours.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 04:06 PM
3

My one LTR since my divorce was pretty terrible sex no matter what I tried to teach him. Turns out he was just selfish.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 03:47 PM
2

Sadly, even the guys who are “beneath me” aren’t good lovers. Very few men put in the effort to get good at sex, whether they’re hot or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 03:46 PM
0

Or they won’t become good lovers.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 03:37 PM
1

I have no idea how to be a man.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 03:37 PM
1

Again. Not angry. Also, once you know the board game rules, you don’t have to be taught over and over.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 03:37 PM
1

Riight
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 03:36 PM
3

Wow. Men really do get triggered when women just state that they’re good at something they’re good at. Yikes, sis. Calm down.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 03:36 PM
1

How many teachers do you know with only one job? I’m both. Duh.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 03:35 PM
2

The fact that you don’t read tells me everything I need to know about you.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 03:14 PM
1

Kind of. I grew up riding motorcycles and driving farm trucks so taking that to the road was more of a just pass the test situation. But yes, a person I PAID did my driver’s ed. It wasn’t just out of the goodness of his heart. If a man needs me to teach him how to pleasure a woman, he’s going to have to pay me for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 03:14 PM
0

Whatever you got to do to learn the craft.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 03:12 PM
3

I’ve finally met the best lover of my life. So, it really is. I get to shop around. I don’t have to settle.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 03:12 PM
1

Sounds like an excuse to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 03:11 PM
2

I paid someone for driving lessons. Maybe try that?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 03:11 PM
0

Clever.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 03:10 PM
2

What part of this post sounds like a hissy fit? If he hasn’t read a book or taken a class and wants me to teach him everything about how to please a woman, I need to get paid for that.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 03:10 PM
2

But not unexpected.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 03:09 PM
2

Maybe they should take a class if they’re not getting it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 03:09 PM
3

I do communicate what i like. I’m just not willing to teach a master’s level course on how to please women.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 03:08 PM
1

Yes, I have sex with women too and, while there are variations, some things don’t change.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 03:07 PM
2

I doubt any men on this subreddit pretend to be women.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 03:06 PM
1

Yeah. It was called a book.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 03:05 PM
1

Just say you’ve never made a woman cum.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 03:05 PM
1

I’m a teacher IRL. I don’t want to be one in the bedroom too.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 03:05 PM
2

Read the book She Comes First by Ian Kerner. Then get back to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 03:04 PM
2

Maybe that’s true.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 03:04 PM
0

I’m a pretty direct person. Subtlety is not my strong suit.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 03:03 PM
1

I’ve seen stars before.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 02:56 PM
1

I don’t get angry about this. I just get tired when it happens over and over again.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 02:55 PM
2

It’s a combination of the two. Ask her what she likes and then listen to what she says but don’t make her give you step by step instructions. That’s deeply unsexy.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 02:42 PM
1

Sounds like you figured out what you like.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 02:41 PM
1

If I like a guy enough I’ll give him a few chances to show me what he can do but I don’t usually have proper boyfriends or partners. Sadly, this “you have to teach me everything” comes up too often.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 01:59 PM
2

Porn doesn’t seem to be helping regular people have a good time in bed. I can’t even watch straight porn because the women yelp so unconvincingly through the whole thing. So cringe.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 01:57 PM
3

That’s brilliant. No, he’s always spot on. Good instincts about everything. Edit: TBH, even a text like “how was your job interview?” from him gets me a little wet.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 01:54 PM
1

I don’t think anyone is expected to be good at anything in their 20s but it wouldn’t hurt for everyone to read She Comes First by Ian Kerner.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 01:52 PM
1

Truth
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 01:51 PM
2

I learned how to drive a car. You can too.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 01:50 PM
2

I would have to do some research on that. One book I really liked for me was called Sex Tips for Women from a Gay Man. I would recommend all men read She Comes First by Ian Kerner.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 01:50 PM
2

I follow Dan Savage’s advice to be GGG: good, giving, and game. Learn the art by practicing and paying close attention to what gets the best reaction. Do more of that. Be enthusiastic and genuinely interested in your partner’s pleasure. Try new things even if you think you may not like them. Try to say yes to your partner’s requests unless it is something that crosses a line for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 01:44 PM
3

I agree. I get turned on just seeing a text pop up from my current guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 01:42 PM
3

What a sad view of the world.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 01:42 PM
2

Very few women can have vaginal orgasms. Sounds like you know what’s up.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 01:41 PM
2

I do communicate. I don’t teach a master’s level class in how to give a woman an orgasm.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 01:35 PM
1

I know I’m good because people tell me so.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 01:35 PM
1

I mean, those are all good theories.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 01:34 PM
0

I don’t pass out surveys. That was a joke (kind of). If it’s a partner I’m going to be with for a while, I do ask for feedback though so I can up my game. I’ve had men volunteer this information though as well. But, yes, I’m on the spectrum and I use feedback to evaluate and modify my techniques. How does everyone else do it?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 01:33 PM
1

I have certainly had more male partners than female.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 01:31 PM
3

Anything over 6 is too much. I mean, I don’t immediately say no if we’ve gotten that far but I probably won’t be back for more.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 01:31 PM
0

Of course I’m going to help someone who is my partner but I don’t have time nor inclination to help every dude I decide to have sex with. Not my job. I just don’t come back.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 01:30 PM
0

It’s not a lack of communication. It’s a lack of effort. I don’t date guys like that anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 01:15 PM
2

I wish.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 01:15 PM
5

I have sex with men and women and I find much higher percentage of women are good at it than men. Circumcision kind of killed the handjob in the US for a few decades. It’s really hard to give a cut guy a proper handjob. Also, are you communicating that you’re about to come?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 01:14 PM
-2

That may be so. I don’t think it. I know it based on surveys.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 01:12 PM
2

I’m not a fan of a big dick. Hits my cervix.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 01:12 PM
-2

I was married for 20 years and spent a lot of time and energy turning him into a good lover. I do explain what I like to a point but I don’t have decades to invest in someone that way anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 01:11 PM
2

I have tried all of that with some lovers, to no avail. My current lover is amazing.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 01:09 PM
0

I am bisexual and I can somehow figure out how to please different women. They’re not all that different.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 01:09 PM
2

My current lover is amazing and I give him plenty of information on what I like but I didn’t have to teach him everything. He was good the first time because he cares to be good.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 01:06 PM
2

Jesus. Do we have to do EVERYTHING to make this word a better place? Ugh.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 01:05 PM
1

I am, literally, a writer. My communication is just fine. Can’t help a guy with no drive though.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 01:01 PM
4

That’s the whole point. Men think women should do the work for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 01:00 PM
5

That’s some lazy ass shit right there. I get good at things because I’m proud of myself when I’m good at things, not because of some incentive. I guess I’m self-motivating. Maybe that’s rare? Edit to add: women are getting more empowered every day. Eventually low-effort men will feel the pain of not trying.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 12:52 PM
7

If I wanted to be responsible for my own pleasure I’d just stay home and masturbate. The fun of being with a partner is in the giving and receiving and the connection.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 12:45 PM
1

My libido is incredibly high. Higher than most mid-20s guys. Women aren’t all the different. That’s just an excuse.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 12:43 PM
1

In how much detail?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 12:42 PM
5

I am responsible for his pleasure. He is responsible for mine. That’s how great sex works. Each person is more concerned about the other person’s pleasure.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 12:42 PM
-4

Women aren’t really all that different. That’s just an excuse.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 12:40 PM
1

Are you suggesting that what my current lover does is unreasonable for most men?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 12:39 PM
1

Most women start menopause between 45-55 and don’t experience full menopause until 60+ years old. Now days, with hormone replacement, women who want to can put it off almost indefinitely. I certainly have no symptoms. Retirement homes are notorious for spreading STIs around. I think your numbers are way off.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 12:38 PM
2

Of course he gets time to make mistakes. That’s how you actually learn something. I don’t expect every lover to be the best I’ve ever had the first time. Six months and still haven’t had an orgasm? That’s no bueno.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 12:35 PM
3

My advice for inexperienced and virgin men is to still read a book, just maybe not a book on tantric sex because that would be overwhelming, but just a general book about how women like to be touched and what to try and what to avoid. Then, I would tell them to try to breathe and relax, have fun with it, make sure your partner is someone you can trust not to judge you but to enjoy when things get silly. Then j would tell them to slow way, way down. Now go even slower. Don’t remove any clothes un…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 12:32 PM
1

I have sex with someone when I want to. I’m not going to change all my behavior for the betterment of men in general. Again, you seem to be blaming a man’s lack of effort on a woman. This is the narrative that needs to stop.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 12:26 PM
2

Fair enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 12:24 PM
3

What makes you think I do the bare minimum? I’m good at sex. I’m doing the actual maximum. I always please my partner and learn what he likes. I don’t deserve the same treatment?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 12:23 PM
2

We might have a different definition of loser
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 12:19 PM
2

My general advice to all men who want to please their partner is: slow down. No, even slower than that. Turtle pace.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 12:16 PM
1

Not all men who are bad at sex are bad people.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 12:14 PM
8

I have never faked an orgasm in my life.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 12:13 PM
2

You don’t know the sex is going to be bad until you try it. I have an amazing lover now and it just makes the disparity between him and other men that much more pronounced. I’m not upset, I’m just making an observation based on my experiences.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 12:13 PM
3

If a guy isn’t into foreplay, there’s no way he’s going to ever be a good lover.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 12:12 PM
1

My current and best lover studies tantric sex and it’s amazing. I guide him and tell him my preferences but he doesn’t need much instruction because he took the time and put in the effort to learn how to be a good lover just like I did. Neither one of us is apathetic towards each other and it shows. We both bring our A game to every encounter and thus both end up having a very good time. It’s the first time in a while where I wasn’t the only one bringing skill to the situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 12:11 PM
2

You know more than some guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 12:05 PM
4

Having an orgasm more than 10% of the time I have sex is a high standard? Edit to add: that’s my whole point. He’s really good at sex because he studies it, isn’t lazy, and puts in effort to get better. That’s how people get good at anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 12:03 PM
1

Then let a book be your coach and then you go practice. Maybe read a book about tantric sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 12:02 PM
3

I have had plenty of good lovers too. I am into long, drawn out, romantic sex with lots of foreplay and sensual touching. Maybe that’s too kinky for some people. I want a sexual experience to be slow and take a while. Many guys are happy with 15 minutes. I assume the guys who have sex with me are attracted to me. That was a fun attempt on your part to insult me though. Way to let your insecurities show.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 12:01 PM
2

I do give men guidelines on what I like and I give feedback and make requests during sex but I’m not going to walk a man step by step through the whole process. That’s deeply unsexy for me to have to go into teacher mode while I’m trying to be turned on.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 11:58 AM
-1

Clearly, some men I am with are very good in bed. That didn’t happen by accident. It happened because they were deliberate in learning and adjusting their methods based on feedback. They wanted to get better so they put in the effort. Edit to add: my current and best lover studies tantric sex. It’s amazing.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 11:55 AM
0

I do tell men what I like but I’m not going to coach them through it step by step, which is what some of these men want.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 11:54 AM
4

I am 45. Most of the men I date are around my age maybe +/- 10-15 years. Bad lovers come in all ages.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 11:53 AM
1

If you go to play soccer and the coach teaches you the rules and how to do the skills but you never practice and never get better, is it your fault or the coach’s? Edit to add: it is NEVER someone else’s fault when YOU are bad at something.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 11:51 AM
6

I get this impression from many men. Great lovers are very, very turned on by pleasing their partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 11:50 AM
6

There’s plenty of books about how to be a good lover. Dan Savage has a whole podcast about it. There are classes you can take. A lover doesn’t need to be perfect but getting into your late 30s and still not being able to give a woman an orgasm with regularity just means a guy is lazy and feels entitled to orgasms without giving them in return and entitled to private, free lessons. That’s not my job. Edit to add: I’ll happily tell a guy that I like a lot of kissing and touching and foreplay, oral…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 11:47 AM
-5

It’s not a two way street. I’m good at sex because I’ve put a lot of effort into learning how to please a partner. I didn’t start out good but I learned and tried things. Men often believe they are entitled to very specific instructions on how to be good at sex. I never ask a partner that. I might ask his personal preference on some things I can do, but I never need a lover to give me lessons. Men ask me for lessons all the time. It comes across as laziness and an unwillingness to put in any eff…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 11:44 AM
4

I care about my money though and my self-worth comes from how I feel about myself, not how others feel about me.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 11:39 AM
0

It’s not a woman’s job to do anything for you. Stop acting entitled.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 11:38 AM
1

That is how I swipe on dating apps. Picture first. It’s either a yes or a no on whether I find him attractive. Then I read the profiles of the yeses to determine if I’d want to date him.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 11:36 AM
5

I am 45 and my dating and sex life is the best it’s ever been. I get hit on by guys in their early 20s up to guys in their late 60s. I don’t know what you’ve got going on but people around here absolutely want to have sex with and date women in their 40s.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 11:30 AM
2

I’m 45 years old and my libido is higher than it’s ever been. Most of my friends report this large uptick in libido in their late 30s. Our bodies understand that we have limited time left to make babies so it goes into sexual hyperdrive. I don’t think your source is accurate.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 11:28 AM
1

It’s not a woman’s job to teach you how to be good at sex. It’s your job to learn on your own, try things, gauge the response, and try more things until you’re doing a good job. Read a book, talk to other men, teach yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 11:09 AM
2

The guy I’m seeing right now is the absolute best lover I’ve ever met and his tactic is to slow down, take a long time with everything, touch me sensually all over, tons of kissing and foreplay, listening to my reactions and adjusting accordingly, and holding out on his own orgasm for a very long time. Our most recent encounter took almost four hours. It was absolutely gentle and romantic with no dominance to be seen. Be like him.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 11:07 AM
1

I’ve never once gotten good dating advice from a man who wasn’t a very close friend. Men on Reddit give completely self-serving “advice.” Women in my life give me the best dating advice because they’ve usually had similar experiences to mine and they actually care whether I have a good dating experience or not. They want the best for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 11:01 AM
1

The only way to avoid disappointment in life is by having realistic expectations. This is true in every facet of life.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 10:52 AM
3

My ex husband wanted to control me and everything o did and thought because he was insecure. He knew I was smarter, funnier, and better looking than he and he was terrified that I might figure that out. He also didn’t really love my personality and wanted to mold me into the wife he wanted. I think that’s what’s behind most controlling men. The men I date now are willing to take the lead in something but have no need or desire to control or change me.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 10:50 AM
1

The best lover I’ve ever had is for sure not the most attractive guy I’ve dated. I am attracted to him, but I’ve dated many hotter guys. His skills in the bedroom are so far and away better than anyone else’s that I would still be attracted to him even if he gained 100lbs and became homeless. He’s that good. Skills matter.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 10:47 AM
1

That is not at all true.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 10:40 AM
7

I am a relatively attractive and fit woman and I can carry a conversation and make people laugh so I don’t have problems getting first or repeat dates. What I do have problems with is finding men who are good lovers or even mildly competent lovers, finding men who are affectionate, and finding men who would like to settle down with me. The ones without kids are loathe to date a single mom. On the weeks I don’t have the kids, they’re all in and on the weeks I do, it’s usually crickets. When I dat…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 10:29 AM
2

I’m not offended
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 08:39 PM
2

I’m an atheist/ex-Christian and I think Jesus was kind of a whiny, spoiled brat.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 06:32 PM
1

I’m not trying to
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 05:36 PM
2

I reject people very sweetly. No one leaves my presence feeling worse about themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 05:18 PM
2

Game, as you put it, it an immediate turn off to anyone with substance.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 05:16 PM
2

Eww. Christlike? Really?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 05:15 PM
2

I do not want to be that woman. I like who I am.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 05:15 PM
1

I see what you’re saying. I was asking an honest question. I don’t run long distances for men. I do it for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 05:13 PM
1

I can.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 05:11 PM
1

Almost all fit people are attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 05:11 PM
1

You might be surprised. I’ve been single for four years now and still get plenty of sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 05:10 PM
1

That’s funny
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 05:08 PM
2

I got dealt a pretty face but I’ve worked hard for this runners body. I spend a lot of time in the gym and on the track to have what I have
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 07:36 AM
1

Fair
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 07:34 AM
2

Men get the cards they’ve dealt
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 07:27 AM
2

Fit, kind, interesting
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 07:26 AM
2

Get a better personality?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 07:12 AM
3

We should all be our best selves just for ourselves
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 07:11 AM
1

Your mom
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 07:10 AM
2

You need therapy, bro
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 07:10 AM
3

You’re need therapy, bro
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 07:09 AM
1

It is what it is
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 07:08 AM
2

Good on you. Be your best self
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 07:08 AM
2

I can’t help with that
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 07:04 AM
2

I am fully a woman
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 07:03 AM
2

You do you, boo
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 07:03 AM
1

All of it
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 07:03 AM
1

I put as much effort into my personal beauty as I see fit. I also have four degrees and am successful in my own eyes. I’ve lived a crazy life but, as a fellow autistic person, have never cared much for how the world sees me.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 07:02 AM
2

Your experience does not line up with mine
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 06:59 AM
2

I have time constraints
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 02:05 AM
1

I disagree
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 02:02 AM
1

What?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 02:01 AM
3

Then thrive
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 12:57 AM
1

I don’t know
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 12:40 AM
2

I believe you
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 12:40 AM
0

I don’t know how to help you
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 12:38 AM
1

Lazy people don’t get what they want
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 12:37 AM
2

What’s that?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 12:37 AM
2

You’re right in that men should be their best self for themselves
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 12:36 AM
1

I don’t know about that because I’m tiny.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 12:26 AM
0

Not from me
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 12:26 AM
1

Okay
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 12:24 AM
3

But you can be fit and successful and kind. What is stopping you?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 12:24 AM
2

I’m not trying to win anything. I just want answers
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 12:23 AM
2

What’s that?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 12:22 AM
0

Not true
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 12:22 AM
1

Maybe so. I do it for me but my partners don’t mind having a fit person in their lives
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 12:22 AM
1

I can’t help that
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 12:21 AM
-1

Then you get the consequences of that
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 12:21 AM
2

I am already those things.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 12:18 AM
1

How so?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 12:18 AM
2

I’m not mad
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 12:17 AM
2

Okay then
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 12:17 AM
2

I don’t want to be that person at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 12:16 AM
2

It is what it is
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 12:15 AM
2

What?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 12:15 AM
3

Your loss
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 12:14 AM
2

They do in my world but I may be the exception
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 12:14 AM
1

Internal motivation is essential
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 12:13 AM
2

Maybe so
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 12:12 AM
2

I wouldn’t know how to help you then
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 12:12 AM
2

Sounds like you’re doing right by yourself
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 12:11 AM
1

I don’t understand your point
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 12:10 AM
-5

Should we just throw them a bone because they’re sad? Or should they work hard like I do? I run very long distances. Maybe they should do more
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 12:10 AM
3

Of course not. I’m a writer and a mom.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/22 11:41 PM
0

I feel like I try to be the best human I can be. Maybe it’s just me
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/22 11:40 PM
4

I have the luxury to choose because I work so hard on myself. Even just for sex I have high standards
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/22 11:19 PM
1

Sounds like you’re doing well then
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/22 11:17 PM
1

Does it work for you?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/22 11:17 PM
1

What does that mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/22 11:16 PM
1

Why?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/22 11:16 PM
3

It is.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/22 11:15 PM
-2

Do men actually strive to be the best or are they just phoning it in and complaining?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/22 11:15 PM
3

Don’t you want to put in effort to be your best self? I have put in a lot of effort to be fit. I run extremely long distances, carefully curate what I eat, have an extensive skin and beauty regiment, and spend a lot of time finding amazing outfits. Why shouldn’t men do the same?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/22 11:13 PM
0

By encouraging you to be your best self.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/22 11:12 PM
5

You do you, boo.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/22 11:11 PM
0

That’s a valid point. But, wouldn’t everyone want to be their best self?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/22 11:11 PM
1

Why do you think I’m a troll?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/22 11:10 PM
1

That’s probably true.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/22 01:37 AM
0

The most important way I attract men is by making them feel good about themselves. All people are drawn to that.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/22 10:20 PM
2

I should mention that there is a difference between attracting a man who wants to sleep with me and attracting a man who wants to have a relationship with me. Obviously, the bar is much higher for the latter case.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/22 10:19 PM
2

The men I date absolutely want me to be interesting and accomplished. They don’t want a mindless, pretty face.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/22 10:13 PM
1

Fair enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/22 08:31 PM
4

I’m a little confused as to how it’s hard to be a good person. I am considered attractive in my age group in the dating scene but I also have to be genuinely kind, interesting, and accomplished if I want to find and keep a partner. It’s only fair that the men bring the same qualities to the table.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/22 08:19 PM
1

Not even the slightest bit angry. What would I have to get angry for?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/22 10:09 PM
1

What makes you think I’m mad? I’m just giving you advice from a woman. Don’t you love women telling you what to do?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/22 09:23 PM
1

Women don’t need advice from men. Why is that so hard to understand? We don’t need to be told to be safe. We already know that. We also already know how to date people. We don’t need men to give us advice about that either.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/22 09:13 PM
0

No. The problem is that you’re a man trying to tell women how to act. You don’t need to sum up a point I made very clearly and concisely.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/22 02:32 PM
3

The problem is when you’re a man who wants to teach women to be better for men. That’s not cool. Women need to be themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/22 08:31 AM
5

Or let them do their thing since they’re autonomous people and should be allowed to do what they want even if it doesn’t benefit men.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/22 05:53 AM
5

I mostly use Bumble but I’ve hit on guys IRL. I know what I want and I don’t wait for it to come to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/22 05:47 AM
7

I often ask men out. I don’t like waiting.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/22 05:42 AM
1

Kind and funny are the words most used to describe me. I’m good with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/22 04:55 AM
1

I don’t want to try. I like them as friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/22 02:15 AM
1

All my friendships are valuable but I don’t want to be unkind to someone by keeping them around if they only want romance
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/22 02:15 AM
1

I am still friends with most of them. We just moved past it.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/22 02:14 AM
2

I can’t control what the men do. I have several male friends I am very attracted to (including two ex boyfriends) but I respect the fact that they are just my friends and not ever going to be a lover.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/22 09:06 PM
1

Most of the guys who have done this are still my friends. It didn’t end things but it made things awkward for a moment.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/22 09:05 PM
0

I have plenty of male friends who don’t want to date me. I am still friends with most of the guy friends who wanted to date or have sex with me but it ruined a few relationships. I guess it is a normal hazard of friendship but I’m kind of tired of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/22 09:04 PM
1

Probably not. I’d just go full lesbian.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/22 08:48 PM
1

I follow FDS and I have many men in my life that I love and admire.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/22 08:46 PM
2

I am 45 and I love men with delicate features and small stature.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/22 08:45 PM
1

I would make an engaging online profile with nice pictures, keep up my life, fitness, career, and hobbies, spend time building good community and friendships with many people, and then wait for the right hits online or for my friends to introduce me to someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/22 08:44 PM
1

I talk to a lot of men I don’t want to date. I even find some of them attractive and we have good chemistry. I still don’t want to date them. It just is what it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/22 08:41 PM
1

Scuba diving is my hobby and it is superior because I get to float weightless through a beautiful, alien world enjoying all the amazing sights. It also lowers my anxiety tremendously.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/22 08:39 PM
2

Several men that I thought were my good friends have confessed they want to sleep with me. It makes me worry that they aren’t really my friends. I am relatively attractive and very kind and I think they are confusing my kindness with attraction. I’m also not young and neither are they and feel like they should be past this kind of behavior by now. Shouldn’t they just keep their crushes on me a secret? It feel rude and self-service of them to confess that to me. They know I’m out in the dating sc…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/22 08:37 PM
1

I’m not distressed
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/22 02:54 PM
1

I also birthed and raised his three kids, threw lavish parties and made handmade chocolates for his clients, did all the housework, maintained a job, grew my own writing business, and kept myself fit and beautiful. I don’t know what else I could have done.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/22 05:18 AM
1

It is absolutely true.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/22 05:02 AM
1

Stop blaming women for the failings of men. It’s trash.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/22 04:52 AM
1

I am a teacher and I can identify a kid with no empathy. My ex didn’t cheat because of lack of sex. I am a very giving and loving person and I was always willing and enthusiastic to be intimate. He had everything he needed at home except risk.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/22 04:50 AM
1

I honestly think you need therapy. Most people who find out my ex husband slept with prostitutes are disgusted at him. You just want to know what I did to cause it. This is evidence of a severe lack of empathy and human emotion. You are deeply disturbed and either need help or jail.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/22 03:52 AM
1

You couldn’t be more wrong but I don’t lose any sleep over people like you thinking what you want about me. If you care to interview the men I date, go for it. Otherwise, move on, kiddo.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/22 12:06 AM
1

That’s because you live your life based on misogynistic preconceptions. I, honestly, feel sorry for you. I hope you grow as a person someday.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/22 10:37 PM
1

Of course you are.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/22 10:35 PM
–

Of course you are wrong in your assumptions because you are a misogynist. Duh, bro. Get real.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/22 09:27 PM
–

I honestly should just ignore this comment but it is actually a fascinating example of your misogyny so we are going to take a closer look for s&gs. Let’s break down your questions. Why were you only capable of marrying trash? - In this question, you are suggesting that it was my own personal worth that was at fault for the fact of a bad person being attracted to me. You also assume that I should have known this maniac was a maniac even though we all know maniacs hide that shit. You take all the…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/22 03:03 PM
–

The other reason I’m single at 45 is because I don’t tolerate trash because I know my worth. I’d much rather be alone than subject myself to the mouth breathers who lurk these threads thinking they are qualified to insult amazing women like me. Get wrecked.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/22 06:30 AM
–

I’m 45 and I’m a single mom because I was strong enough to leave the trash I married after he started fucking prostitutes
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/22 06:20 AM
2

At least I’m not a total bagel like you.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/22 08:08 PM
2

You’re not the first one to ignore the point to criticize. It gets pretty redundant.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/22 07:51 PM
4

Interesting how you missed my counterpoint to commenter (he didn’t) and just honed in on my comment about my looks. You: Help!!!! A woman on the internet said she’s attractive! Must attack! Screeee!
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/22 07:33 PM
2

I was making a point about the commenter’s idea that women who hate misogyny are unattractive. I didn’t feel need to control his words or thoughts, I was just providing a counter point, as one does in a discussion. See how he and I had normal discourse and no one was trying to control the other. This is the way. Learn it.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/22 07:32 PM
2

Most people: this woman said she’s attractive. She must be arrogant. scrolls past You: this woman says she’s attractive. She must be arrogant. I need to tell her to stop saying she’s attractive because otherwise she might go on her whole life saying horrible things like this and coming off as arrogant to strangers on the internet. I must control her to save her from herself. This is my job.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/22 07:07 PM
1

Attractive is, of course, subjective. I have based my conclusion on several things: opinions of people who look at me, scientific factors that inform modern day attractiveness (health, symmetry), and I can look in the mirror. I don’t need to provide “juicy details” when I’m just starting basic facts about myself.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/22 07:05 PM
1

Why, exactly, are you attempting to police my language?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/22 06:47 PM
1

I said I’m attractive. I am. I am also 5’8, have curly hair and blue eyes. All of these statements are equally true.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/22 06:42 PM
7

Most people downplay their looks to fish for compliments. I don’t need to do that. Also, please re-read what you wrote. You’re actually saying it’s too aggressive to say “I’m attractive”? I didn’t say I was hot or beautiful or gorgeous. I will not change my perfectly reasonable language to make you feel more comfortable by catering to your own insecurities. That’s a horrible thing to suggest.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/22 06:28 PM
0

I’ve been told that confidence is when you say “I’m attractive” and arrogance is saying “I’m more attractive than you.” However, men and women respond differently when I say I’m attractive. Women say “yes, you are.” Men say “don’t be so arrogant.” Hmmm 🤔
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/22 06:20 PM
-1

Fuck modesty. I’m honest. That’s even better. Why should I pretend to be something I’m not?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/22 06:04 PM
4

That is probably true. I hate a few things but I am too busy living life and going out to nice dinners to spend too much time online talking about them.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/22 05:35 PM
3

I will never be with a man who pays for sex for a few reasons. 1. He doesn’t respect women because he is fine supporting and contributing to an industry that promotes and continues the abuse of women and children. Most sex workers aren’t there because they want to be, they’re there because they have to be. If the market dried up, the abuse would stop. If he can’t get laid for free, he either doesn’t want to put the effort to have a gf or he is extremely undesirable. Either one is a red flag. If …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/22 05:24 PM
2

People don’t live their lives based on what studies say. They just live. Correlation is not causation.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/22 05:20 PM
-1

I am attractive, feminine, and kind. I have many suitors and a high N count. I still hate misogyny. Thankfully, so do the men who want to be with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/22 05:18 PM
2

I work in a fancy restaurant. 90% of the couples I see there have a beautiful woman and an average man. I rarely see a beautiful man with an average woman. I assume this is because money can buy a beautiful woman as a partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/22 12:24 AM
2

I am here to learn. Men on Reddit seem crazy, af and I’m hoping that isn’t entirely true.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/22 12:22 AM
2

TL;DR. Jesus. Be concise for fuck’s sake.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/22 12:21 AM
5

Word salad
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/22 12:18 AM
3

My son is 13 and hangs out with his friends regularly. We have always valued community, our neighbors, and our family.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/22 11:29 PM
0

Men who need to have sex with a lot of women are the ones who need the validation. In my experience, average looking women are often more confident than very pretty ones because they value themselves rather than requiring society to value them.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/22 11:28 PM
1

These concepts of masculinity come from a male-dominated society, not from women’s expectations.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/22 11:26 PM
5

Those aren’t women approaching you. Those are ghouls.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/22 11:18 PM
3

I only use bumble because I get overwhelmed with LV messages from men in other apps.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/22 11:16 PM
0

This sounds like you are turning dating into a game. I always message first because I use Bumble but I would never date someone who played a dating game. I only like people who are real and authentic. If you have to use rules like this to dictate your actions, you are fake and not willing to show your authentic self. The fact that you also mention the ethnicities of your matches shows me you are shallow and lame. You will maybe find some dates with this method but you will never find real love. …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/22 11:16 PM
–

Girl, same.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/22 03:53 PM
1

People without degrees come from families who don’t value education or from people who can’t value education. I’ve had students from low income families go to college but they had to overcome a lot. The majority of people with degrees are self starters or already upper middle class.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/22 02:24 AM
1

If you mean just left of center, strong, beautiful woman, then yes. She’s a leader and an example for little girls all over the world. Glad you don’t live here either. We don’t want losers like that in our fine country.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/22 10:55 PM
1

They don’t have Google where you live? She’s very famous.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/22 10:35 PM
–

You made my point. A guy with a crazy ex doesn’t make wise decisions.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/22 09:07 PM
1

Jesus.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/22 09:06 PM
2

He loved cuddling on the sofa and when I would hug him and rub his shoulders or feet but he was not that interested in sex very often.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/22 09:06 PM
1

Shows they can set their mind to something and complete it.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/22 09:05 PM
2

Kindness, respect, affection, and attention coupled with humor, a fit body, and intelligence.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/22 03:24 PM
1

If a man tells me his ex is crazy, I won’t date him. I am friends with some of my exes because I am a decent person and don’t break up ugly. People who can’t get along with their exes is an absolute red flag that they did something awful.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/22 03:23 PM
1

I don’t believe in judging people for having sex with others.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/22 03:21 PM
1

Seems like a basic anatomy class could clear that right up.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/22 03:20 PM
1

My ex-boyfriend loved affection but only liked sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/22 03:19 PM
1

The vast number of married men I know are not very attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/22 03:18 PM
1

What makes AOC a “b*tch”? She’s just a strong woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/22 03:18 PM
1

That is very true for me. I may find a person with a blue collar job attractive, but I’d never date a guy without a degree.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/22 03:17 PM
1

Marry your fleshlight.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/22 03:16 PM
1

Goats can’t consent. Jesus.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/22 03:16 PM
1

I have all of those, yet my kids are still able to mess faster than we can all clean.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/22 02:04 PM
2

I’m confused how a person can work manual labor hunched over all day and also make a lot of money and also still be overweight. Something isn’t adding up.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/22 09:33 PM
2

Also, men in healthy, open relationships have more emotional maturity, understand women’s needs very deeply, and are good communicators.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/22 09:30 PM
2

They were the opposite of my ex husband. They were kind, gentlemanly, artistic, small and fit, and had hair.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/22 09:29 PM
2

Women actually carry the DNA of their babies in parts of their bodies for up to 40 yours after birth, but that doesn’t mean your big brother is partly your dad. These cells are usually found in very small qualities in areas of inflammation.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/22 09:28 PM
3

Basically, if you’re not attracting people, it means you have some work to do. Not necessarily on your looks, but probably on your conversational skills or personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/22 09:27 PM
2

I don’t think you can get to know someone through texting. You have to meet and have conversations in real life.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/22 09:25 PM
2

What statistics show that men having sex are 8/10?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/22 09:19 PM
4

When I first got divorced, I didn’t want a relationship but I wanted to have sex so I went out with guys in open relationships so the option for a boyfriend was off the table.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/22 09:18 PM
1

Who told you that?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/22 09:11 PM
1

I want a robot that just does chores.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/22 09:09 PM
4

Maybe it’s your personality? Cash and height aren’t everything.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/22 09:08 PM
3

I feel sorry for you if you think it’s a ludicrous demand to respect a woman. But I can tell from your comment that you are below average.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/22 04:10 PM
2

No good man thinks he owns a woman’s body. Good men know her choices are hers to make and none of his business because they don’t have anything to do with him.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/22 04:09 PM
3

Be sad. Be single.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/22 08:32 PM
1

I am not down with any partner with communicable diseases. Herpes included
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/22 06:38 PM
2

Glad for you
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/22 06:38 PM
2

If men want a woman they need to understand that her value goes beyond her vagina.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/22 06:37 PM
2

Have fun being sad and alone. Also, grow up
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/22 04:46 PM
1

They are
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/22 04:45 PM
2

I doubt she’d want to be valuable to you since you only care about what’s between her legs.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/22 04:45 PM
3

The fact that you view what she does or doesn’t do with her body as her value means you don’t respect women enough to get one.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/22 03:05 PM
2

If they didn’t have any diseases and still liked sex. What do I care? They’d have to be really old though to get those kind of numbers.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/22 03:04 PM
2

That not how the world works.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/22 03:04 PM
0

Not always.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/22 04:56 AM
0

Our whole society grew up from the concept of a scarlet letter. It’s not 1790.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/22 04:28 AM
4

I text much more with the man I’d like to be in a LTR with than the men I am just getting to know but I generally return texts in a timely manner. If a guy is constantly double texting though, it feels like he’s trying to own my time. Say your thing, wait to hear back, and move on if she doesn’t text you back in a timely manner.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/22 04:02 AM
1

My shorter bf used to always wear shoes around the house while I was barefoot. He said it was because his dog shed a lot. Now I don’t know.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/22 03:59 AM
2

I’d much go out with a guy who takes care in his appearance than the opposite. At least he’s making effort at that point.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/22 03:58 AM
2

We all mildly deceive early on in a relationship. We dress nice rather than wear our jammies, put on makeup, smile a lot, and be on our best behavior. That’s why it is important to vet someone for a while before settling into a relationship. You probably want to see them naked and without makeup before committing to anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/22 03:57 AM
-3

Or we were young and stupid once and then we grow up.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/22 03:54 AM
1

I don’t care how many partners a person has had.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/22 03:53 AM
1

Bad tippers are an immediate no for me too.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/22 01:05 AM
6

I think you’re too insecure to have a gf
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/22 01:05 AM
2

What if she’s friends with her exes because she’s a nice person who doesn’t blow up relationships just because they don’t work out long term?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/22 01:04 AM
3

What about “how many men have you been with?”
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/22 01:03 AM
1

No swimsuits then?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/22 01:03 AM
2

You are worried about what she did before she met you?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/22 01:01 AM
3

Disrespect. Insulting me. Telling me what to do or how to live. Fighting mean. Being rude to my kids. Violence.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/22 01:00 AM
1

Divorce is the best thing I ever did. Don’t stay in a bad relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 11:08 PM
1

I’m generally not attracted to bald guys because my ex was bald but there is a bald bartender at my work who is so hot to me. He’s sweet and fit.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 11:07 PM
0

Your views are trash.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 11:06 PM
1

I give so much to the people I love. It’s not a burden, it’s a privilege.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 11:05 PM
8

Also, I do have a son and my circumcised husband and I didn’t want him to be cut. He was born perfect and he stayed that way. We’re not barbarians.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 10:24 PM
8

Circumcision is child abuse. If a man wants less penis, he can choose that for himself when he’s an adult. There is zero reason to perform cosmetic surgery on the genitals of children. Foreskin is natural, normal, and provides great pleasure to a man and his partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 10:23 PM
1

Smart.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/22 09:57 PM
2

I care about other people’s kids because they people (and I’m a teacher).
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 11:21 PM
1

Good moms don’t keep those things around.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 11:21 PM
1

I think arrogant people are that way because they know they’re not confident.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 03:59 PM
2

I don’t think a truly confident person would be arrogant. True confidence comes from a deep place and also tends to come with personal growth.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 03:45 PM
1

Not really
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 02:28 AM
2

I have always been sex positive and comfortable with my body and men. This is, for sure, a hormonal thing. Most of my friends experienced it too in their late 30s. I’m pretty sure it’s my body’s way of trying to get me to pop out a few more kids before I stop ovulating. I can also tell a big difference in my hormonal level throughout the month. When I’m ovulating, my sex drive is even higher. I’ve even cried once when my bf at the time wouldn’t have sex with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/22 10:05 PM
1

It’s interesting to me that a lot of guys say they don’t want to date a single mom because she puts her kids first but I wonder why they don’t know their own children’s mother will do the same thing. It’s biologically wired into mothers to put their Children’s needs above everyone else. I have to actively work to ensure I’m taking care of my own needs because my default is to put everyone else first.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/22 09:36 PM
1

I started working out because I was probably going to die young if I didn’t. Now, I work out because it gets me high.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/22 07:42 PM
2

I get dates with men who fit all my criteria (looks, fitness, success, personality) but I’m having trouble finding one that I really connect with and have chemistry with. Not sure how to improve myself to get dates with men who I can actually fall for.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/22 07:41 PM
1

The best way to find a partner who wants to be poly is to find one who is already in a poly relationship. I’ve twice spent time with men who were in open marriages and they were both amazing people and amazing lovers.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/22 07:39 PM
1

It’s not a woman’s job to worry about how her ex deals with heartbreak. That is his job. Her job is to make sure she handles the breakup with respect and then moves on.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/22 07:38 PM
6

Sore palms.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/22 07:37 PM
1

Sex drive is very hormone driven and it absolutely goes up with age. I am a 44 yo female and I want to have sex way more often now than I did 20 years ago
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/22 07:30 PM
1

I prefer it over autistic.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/22 02:27 PM
1

Same
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/22 12:41 PM
1

Sad.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/22 03:12 AM
2

Expected response. I feel sad for you but not sad enough to date you.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 07:59 PM
2

No one is trying to start a family with me. I’m too old for that.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 07:49 PM
2

I wouldn’t be interested either.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 07:23 PM
3

I would like a partner but he doesn’t need to be the dad to my kids. They have a dad. How is that hard to understand?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 07:22 PM
3

It’s not broken. It’s better than ever.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 07:08 PM
3

It would be even if I told you what kind of men I date. I like who I get to go out with. They’re wonderful and view my motherhood as a sign that I am nurturing and warm, which I am.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 07:04 PM
2

I was married 9 years and had a master’s degree before I had my first child. 8 years later he cheated on me repeatedly and I had to enforce my boundaries and leave. I always believed marriage was forever but he wasn’t using protection and endangering my life. Divorce is the best thing that’s happened to me beside having my children.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 07:03 PM
3

I’d rather not.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 06:36 PM
5

I don’t have sex with cats.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 05:56 PM
2

He’s not their dad. They have a dad.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 05:55 PM
2

Come back to me when you actually have kids. You’re a mess.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 05:55 PM
0

Never.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 05:54 PM
3

Wow. Just wow.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 03:32 PM
3

People should work on themselves as an act of self love, not to get a partner. When you are healthy and happy and emotionally intelligent, people come to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 12:54 PM
2

I put myself first because that is the only healthy way to care for others.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 12:08 PM
2

I do like to date single dads, especially if their kids are older.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 12:07 PM
3

People who think I’m great.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 12:06 PM
7

I don’t respect a man’s idea that a woman’s body belongs to him.
/r/ExRedPill19/01/22 06:54 AM
4

That’s a sad way to view the world.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 06:52 AM
2

Setting boundaries is one thing. Enforcing discipline is another.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 04:17 AM
1

Your concepts of discipline are outdated. Kids need allies, not authoritarians.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 04:11 AM
1

Why would an established family of a mom and kids need to relinquish authority? This isn’t 1790.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 04:01 AM
1

Or maybe you just live your life as you see fit.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 03:21 AM
1

What I learned in this thread is that neurodivergent people like me need to be less curt and keep our true self to ourselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 03:11 AM
10

It sounds like you might not respect a woman’s choice to do what she wants with her own body. Once you internalize that her body belongs to her alone and you have no claim on it, you will probably be more comfortable with women who have used their body they way they want to.
/r/ExRedPill19/01/22 03:08 AM
1

This is so vital. The only antidote to the poison of bitterness is gratitude.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 03:07 AM
0

I really like dating single dads. They seem to have their shit together more than most childless people. Also, they have already proven they can make a commitment. Most of the single dads I meet are a lot less selfish and a lot more patient and kind than childless men. That being said, my favorite date right now has never had kids but I’m thinking about getting serious with him because he’s so wonderful. I wouldn’t expect him to play a father role to my kids though. They already have a dad. One …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 03:05 AM
5

Having children doesn’t necessarily mean you make bad decision. I was married for 9 years and had a master’s degree before I had my first child. Their dad ended up cheating on me 8 years later. I honestly don’t think I made any wrong decisions. Divorce was a great decision for me but marriage was nice too.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 03:03 AM
3

I tend to like single dad better than men who have never had kids because they seem to have more patience and compassion. Having kids is hard and I think it often makes people have to become better people. The childless men I date are much more selfish than the dads.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 03:01 AM
1

Yes, we have routines and rules in the house but there is never any need for punishment or yelling. We just work stuff out through talking and I think I could handle that even if I got married again. Teenagers are pretty easy to raise. I don’t know why people complain about them.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 03:00 AM
4

I am currently single.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 02:51 AM
3

My kids are teenagers. I don’t think they would take to a step-dad very well. I would hope he would be kind to them, but I wouldn’t want him to do parental duties unless he wants to (go to soccer games, etc). They already have a step-mom and they like her but I’m not sure they need more parents.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 02:51 AM
3

I would never leave my kids in the care of my boyfriend. Not that he’s not capable, but he doesn’t need the headache. That being said, one time, my ex boyfriend (who also had kids) kept my girls while I was in the ICU with my boy. It was nice to have a backup for emergencies. I don’t discipline my kids. I encourage and guide them. Parenting has changed.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 02:03 AM
1

I mean, you have to get back on the horse.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 02:01 AM
1

I talk to everyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 02:01 AM
1

I would not want a boyfriend to try to parent my kids. They already have a dad. One is enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 01:06 AM
7

I am 44 and I don’t go to bars except to swing dance and hear my friends’ bands but I have a very active social life, go out with friends, hike with a local hiking group, and attend dinner parties. I agree that an active social life is the way to have community and maybe get dates.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 12:04 AM
1

I only date single men in their 40s but they need to be kind, funny, and fit.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 12:03 AM
1

The best person would have it all, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 12:03 AM
-2

I guess it’s time to roll up your sleeves.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 10:44 PM
1

Right
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 10:43 PM
1

I am in my 40s and dating. While most of the men I go out with have amazing bodies, the one I like the most is a bit pudgy and doesn’t work out. His personality is what makes me keep coming back.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 09:02 PM
1

People should be very selective about who they date. I don’t recommend anyone date someone they don’t want to. The time when racism or transphobia comes into play is when people want to limit the rights of others.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 08:53 PM
1

I understand that a man might feel bad if he compared himself to my other partners. Some of them have been incredible and some just okay but comparing yourself to others rarely leads to a good outcome. I can’t be responsible for a man’s self-esteem issues. He needs to sort those himself. I don’t try to withhold sex as a manipulation tool but I also don’t feel compelled to share my body with every man who takes me out to dinner. I share affection and pleasure as I see fit.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 08:50 PM
1

I did really well in school and my co-workers generally like me but I have had some trouble at work because employers don’t necessarily understand that I take things literally. It’s been awkward at times. I will never made a ton of money because I don’t think I could do the types of jobs that make a lot.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 08:48 PM
1

But I did in college. I went to a “smart kid” college so we had quite a few neurodivergent people there. I like people who are a little weird because I am weird.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 08:24 PM
2

I don’t tend to hook up with anyone. It’s not really my style because I’m in my 40s.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 08:23 PM
2

Maybe we all need therapy.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 08:21 PM
1

I have dated men on the spectrum. They are very easy for me to spot.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 08:20 PM
1

I just asked a follow up question.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 08:20 PM
2

I’ve been attacked on more than one occasion but I don’t want to live in fear. That’s irrational.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 08:19 PM
3

Oddly, only men think this.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 08:19 PM
3

I agree. We have a lot on our plates but a lot to give as well.
/r/ExRedPill18/01/22 08:10 PM
3

That’s a complete fabrication.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 08:08 PM
1

The best people are both
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 06:28 PM
1

I had to learn social skills by rote. Works for me now. I still largely don’t understand human motivation which I why I end up on Reddit asking questions.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 05:50 PM
2

It’s not fun for me to date dumb or mean people.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 05:48 PM
1

Then their partners need more emotional intelligence.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 04:22 PM
4

My point is that it’s a bad idea to assume all women are one way just because you’ve experienced some women who are that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 04:21 PM
1

Why?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 04:20 PM
1

Why?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 04:20 PM
1

It’s just the chemistry and connection that’s missing. They all seem to have plenty of money and ambition.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 04:20 PM
2

Having a bad day is different than trauma. If your partner can’t handle you having a bad day it’s time to find someone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 04:19 PM
-2

Or women decide they can live more comfortably without a husband.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 04:18 PM
1

I’m a woman and I have decent social skills.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 04:17 PM
2

Are all men violent?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 04:16 PM
1

I am war about walking alone at night but that doesn’t make me think 95% of men are violent. Obviously men here are expressing some concern about ways they’ve been treated in the past but I don’t think that’s the majority of women and I also think that finding red flags are a good thing. If you are vulnerable with a woman and she treats you poorly for it, ghost and block her. You just identified a red flag and can stop wasting your time on her.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 03:40 PM
1

How would he know when I had sex with other men?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 03:03 PM
0

I don’t follow any rules for when I become intimate with someone. I just do what feels right.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 03:01 PM
2

I am sure more than 5% of women have high emotional intelligence.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 02:59 PM
2

My life isn’t easy but my wonderful friends and family mean everything to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 02:59 PM
2

It sounds pretty bad out there for young people. Glad I’m not dating them.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 02:58 PM
3

I was in the military at the time so most of the men around me had pretty masculine traits. I agree that a 20 year old has no idea what qualities are beneficial in a partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 02:58 PM
2

I wonder why most men won’t just become more fit and more kind then?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 02:46 PM
1

Both are addictive substances. Take enough of an addictive substance and you can get physically addicted to it.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 02:42 PM
0

I have had casual sex in the past, but not with jerks.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 02:42 PM
0

I’m pretty sure women have the same divorce rate as men.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 02:41 PM
1

The idea that men would change their behavior if women would be less willing to throw sex at the hot, mean ones. That’s a basic FDS tenant. I take everything on there with a grain of salt, but have found some valid ideas as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 02:40 PM
3

I got married at the age of 20 because my hyper-religious parents demanded it. I did make a mistake but my husband was fine with showing emotion.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 02:39 PM
1

Maybe women on the spectrum do better than men.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 02:38 PM
0

This doesn’t make sense to me at all. I won’t even go on one date with a guy who doesn’t meet my requirements for a LTR.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 02:37 PM
1

I am fit and healthy, but old. I have no trouble getting dates or finding men who would like to be with me long term. The problem I’m having is finding men I’d like to be with long term. I don’t think I’m too picky, but I get pretty anxious thinking about having a man live with me long term because I’m worried I’ll make a mistake like I did with my marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 02:34 PM
-2

You’re getting dangerously close to FDS thinking 😉
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 02:30 PM
1

Trauma should only be handled by an expert. Regular people aren’t qualified to walk someone through that kind of healing. Having big emotions are not the same as trauma dumping though.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 02:27 PM
0

I would agree with your addition to the list. I disagree with your use of the term autist though. I’m autistic and do very well with both hook ups and LTRs. Being neurodivergent isn’t a bad thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 02:25 PM
1

Which part?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 02:23 PM
1

I guess people should apply the tool that gets the job done.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 02:21 PM
1

I have a looks, income, and education threshold, yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 02:20 PM
1

I seriously doubt it’s that high. Why would you want to date someone you have to walk on eggshells with? That sounds exhausting.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 02:19 PM
1

I think addiction stems from trauma and not necessarily experimentation. There is a very strong correlation between sexual abuse/assault and later addiction.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 02:19 PM
1

I want a cat. Now you got me thinking about cats.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 02:18 PM
3

Their father is pretty awful to me but I was able to work with him when we were still married to be accepting of our kids the way they are. Our son is on the autism spectrum so he often feels big, overwhelming emotions. His dad has accepted that and, to his credit, has never once told my son to quit crying. He just holds him and tells him to let it out.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 02:17 PM
1

That is often true but I am only attracted to men who have the qualities that make for a good LTR.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 02:16 PM
1

Tingles last about 8 weeks. I’d much prefer a man who can feel emotions and be real with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 02:15 PM
1

Not every woman wants a man.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 02:14 PM
0

Then date the one and leave the rest.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 02:13 PM
1

Why is that?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 02:13 PM
2

I don’t blame all the world’s problem on men. I only date men who have high emotional intelligence. Anything else is too much work.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 02:13 PM
1

Or maybe some women prefer cats to men? Cats are soft and cute.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 02:12 PM
2

I don’t understand the last part of your comment. What are people saying that shows they haven’t been to therapy?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 02:11 PM
3

It is true that emotional intelligence often comes with age but I know many young people who are also kind and compassionate.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 02:10 PM
2

Once you start viewing the world’s problems as all being created by women, you lose me. If you don’t like how women are acting or thinking, maybe start dating women who are more emotionally mature.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 02:09 PM
5

Why must the fucking come before the getting to know someone?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 02:08 PM
1

Every person could benefit from therapy. Of course it might sting for someone to suggest you talk with your therapist about emotions that are too overwhelming for you but there is a nice way to say that.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 02:07 PM
2

Mental illness is chronic and requires medical intervention to be treated. Regular emotions are just emotions, not mental illness. I have a son and he cries as often as he likes and I hold him and comfort him. No different than my daughters. The world is changing and if a woman can’t handle some tears, is she really worth dating?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 02:05 PM
6

I agree that having a number of close friends to help you sort your emotions is a good thing. However, I don’t think a man should have to be afraid to show negative emotions to a woman. A woman who can’t handle negative emotions isn’t emotionally mature herself to even be in a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 02:04 PM
2

Sounds like a very specific list. I have no idea how many men I’ve had sexual contact with.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 02:02 PM
1

My ex husband was attractive (not anymore) and a decent provider. He did not, however, have the skills to be a good partner. I’d trade the skills on the second list for the ones on the first any day.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 02:01 PM
1

Is every relationship settling?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 02:00 PM
6

Or maybe just date higher quality people? My outlook is rosy because people in this world, with some rare exceptions, have been wonderful and kind to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 02:00 PM
2

Every person needs to be able to sit with their emotions and still be okay. The vast number of addicts show that this skill is not as common as it should be.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 01:59 PM
0

Thankfully, society is changing at a rapid pace and we have the power to be catalysts for that change.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 01:58 PM
8

You know everything about me from one post. Everyone has confidence in some areas and lack confidence in others. I like people who are real and being real means showing vulnerability.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 01:57 PM
9

I am a naturally empathetic person and a mom so dealing with people’s emotions is natural for me. I just noticed the vulnerability/affection equation in therapy. But, yes, therapy is good for everyone. Being in touch with your own emotions, not being scared of the negative emotions, and having healthy coping skills are vital for being a good partner and a good person.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 01:56 PM
1

I am over the one night stands so the former list is not that important to me. I really value the qualities on the second list.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 01:54 PM
-1

A man’s emotional baggage is something he should work out with a therapist. Most people aren’t trained to deal with extreme trauma. This is the same for men or women. If a man isn’t willing to go to therapy and expects me to fix him, I’m out the door. Mental illness isn’t your fault but it is your responsibility. That is something totally different than showing normal emotions. Crying, being frustrated, getting angry, feeling pessimistic, or having a bad day are all normal, healthy emotions and …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 01:52 PM
1

The world is changing rapidly so I can understand why our current values aren’t the same ones as have been around for hundreds of thousands of years. However, we no longer have the need for making a lot more people. Will our values change to reflect that?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 01:47 PM
2

Allowed by who?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 01:45 PM
4

Sounds like you could use some healthy coping skills.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 01:45 PM
2

Why is showing your emotions a bad thing? I’d hate to date an emotionless person. Seems creepy.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 01:32 PM
14

I’ve been in group therapy with men and women. Any time someone shows vulnerability, it automatically increases my affection and love for them. This is the same in the dating world as it is in the therapy room. A woman who doesn’t like your vulnerability isn’t able to process her own emotions in a healthy way. Red flag.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 01:31 PM
0

So, if she doesn’t have an orgasm with a partner it doesn’t add to the n count?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 01:28 PM
-1

As a woman, I’d much prefer a man who’s had enough partners to learn something.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 01:28 PM
4

I would be horrified if my bf tried to parent my children. Not his place at all.
/r/ExRedPill18/01/22 01:17 PM
2

I do think there is a ton of angst that comes out in the RP mindset. I think most guys would be well served to get some therapy, value their health, and work on being more kind. Young women may want a hot guy but beauty fails rapidly and emotional maturity is what makes a relationship great.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 01:16 PM
1

My daughter needs jaw surgery but not to make it look better. The doctor made it out to be rather minor.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 01:14 PM
3

Being born a woman is “lucky” in that you have more opportunities to have sex but it doesn’t mean you’re more likely to end up in a satisfying LTR.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 01:10 PM
2

I’ve already spent too much time on this thread. I’ve learned what I came to learn. Thank you, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 01:05 PM
12

Someone should definitely not take on kids if they don’t want them. That being said, I would like a partner but my kids don’t need a step-dad. They already have a dad and one is enough. Why do men believe that dating a single mom, especially if her kids are older, means he’s going to have to take on a dad role?
/r/ExRedPill18/01/22 01:04 PM
16

I am actually really glad I fit all the requirements of what a red piller hates (except fat). I like to keep them far away from me.
/r/ExRedPill18/01/22 01:01 PM
3

There has to be an age component in this. Young people “fall in love” very quickly due to high hormones. Us older folks take a lot longer to figure out who we love. That being said, I can meet a new friend and love them almost instantly but it takes me a lot longer with a romantic partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 12:30 PM
2

Like you, I have deliberately worked on my social skills to become more socially adept. I am not good at manipulating people as I am too literal and, possibly, naive to do so but I learned through trial and error how to fit in to society and be a good friend. Neurodivergence isn’t a disability in any way to me, just a different way of experiencing the world and a different form of brain wiring.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 12:22 PM
-1

Yeah, you really needed context to write a low effort insult.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 11:09 AM
1

You don’t want a woman. You just want a uterus.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 11:04 AM
-1

Also, thank you for letting me know you’re stalking me so I can block you.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 04:58 AM
-2

Christians are awful.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 04:56 AM
1

I’m tired of the discussion at this point. I really don’t care what people think. This was a social curiosity post and my curiosity has been fulfilled.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 04:52 AM
1

At this point, I don’t even care.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 04:45 AM
1

How fun that you assume I’m white. Let me guess, you’re a white guy living in his mom’s basement and will never dream of owning a house.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 04:44 AM
2

I don’t tend to put people down. I’m an encourager and affirmer.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 04:35 AM
1

I don’t tell people that either
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 04:34 AM
1

Debate can often be confrontational. I don’t feel the need to adjust my methods to make easily triggered people feel more safe.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 04:34 AM
2

There is a difference in the scale of what a person attracts and what they bring to a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 04:32 AM
2

Several people have pointed this out.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 04:31 AM
1

I don’t feel the need to attract men who don’t like women who are sure of themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 04:31 AM
0

I don’t want to get married again. Marriage is trash
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 04:30 AM
0

What?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 04:29 AM
-1

Neurodivergent people don’t do figurative very well
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 04:28 AM
1

Maybe people need to learn to communicate with neurodivergent people.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 04:27 AM
1

I’m not overly concerned with the reception I get. I’m more concerned with being true to myself.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 04:27 AM
0

Maybe people just need to learn to be happy for happy people.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 04:25 AM
1

Anxiety and confidence are not mutually exclusive. I overcome my anxiety every day.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 04:24 AM
1

Examples?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 01:41 AM
1

I did rate pretty low on humility on a recent personality test. I feel like I’m open minded to listen to others but I am also on the autism spectrum and so might lack humility because I’m a very literal person.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 01:40 AM
1

I have no idea.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 11:38 PM
0

Sounds like a you problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 11:38 PM
0

Kahoot wasn’t invented when I was in 4th grade. I was pretty good at dodge ball though.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 11:37 PM
2

I am okay with being naturally confident. I don’t rub people’s faces in it but I set healthy boundaries and enforce them.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 11:37 PM
2

I just am who I am.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 11:36 PM
-1

Who did I call an asshole?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 10:34 PM
2

People online are much more rude than in person. I am always the same
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 10:34 PM
1

He has to be “just right.” I’m not concerned about these comments, just curious.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 09:43 PM
1

I don’t feel engaging in debate is a bad thing. It’s an interesting social experiment to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 09:42 PM
2

I don’t fail. I’m just picky.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 09:41 PM
2

Hard to say. You’d probably need to see a neuro doctor.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 09:40 PM
2

I’ve answered that, like, 20 times here.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 09:40 PM
2

That’s just your opinion.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 09:39 PM
2

The qualities I bring to a relationship are: I’m fit, healthy, mentally well, kind, affectionate, affirming, smart, funny, enthusiastic in bed, have a decent job, am reliable, a good cook, love spoiling my people, seek to explore, have an open mind, and love adventure.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 08:56 PM
1

You sound like religion brainwashed you.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 08:53 PM
2

Incorrect.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 08:53 PM
1

Again, two different rules for value.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 08:53 PM
0

Good for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 08:23 PM
1

There were a lot of interactions on those threads. Cookie guy didn’t even come close to some of the remarks. That being said, this is all a curiosity to me so I’m learning quite a bit.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 08:22 PM
0

Eww. You like clingy, low-self worth women? Yikes.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 08:21 PM
3

I have the opposite of a dominant personality. I tend to just go with the flow unless someone offends my internal sense of justice. Then I am scary.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 08:18 PM
1

I am who I am. I’m not trying to be any which way. People can take it or leave it.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 08:17 PM
2

I have four college degrees, a decent job, and I just got a publisher for my first book. Sorry, not a dependent.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 08:16 PM
2

It is low value to me to want a woman to submit. The lowest value, in fact. Below low.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 08:15 PM
2

This post was never about my value in the dating market. It’s about my value as a partner because of who I am and how I treat people. I’ve never worried about my value in the dating pool because I get plenty of dates and people like me. I don’t need to work on that part.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 08:15 PM
1

I am who I am.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 08:13 PM
1

I think you’re confusing two different forms of value. You’re talking about my ability to attract a partner and I’m talking about the qualities that make me a good partner. Those are two very different data sets.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 08:12 PM
1

We’ll see how long I stay. Most of it is funny but it sometimes gets really sad when I see people living in harmful delusion that it is the opposite gender that causes all their problems.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 08:11 PM
-4

Thank you for giving a great example of how a low value man tries to drag others down to his level. Excellent work!
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 08:10 PM
0

I feel like I’ve answered this question, like, 20 times.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 08:09 PM
2

I don’t think I need a hero.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 08:08 PM
1

They would be sorely disappointed in me if they needed that. I’m on the autism spectrum. I can’t read the room until it goes silent and everyone is staring at me for 30 seconds.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 08:07 PM
2

I have no reason to boast. I was just asked what my qualities are and I can articulate them because I know what they are.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 08:06 PM
2

I haven’t been an asshole to anyone in this group.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 08:06 PM
1

Lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 08:05 PM
2

They asked me what value I bring to a relationship. I told them. They got triggered and started insulting me.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 08:05 PM
2

Maybe the “normal one” in your mind. Those of us over 40 apparently live in a different reality than you kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 08:04 PM
1

I don’t know what to tell you. I’m not here to make friends, just to better understand how humans think. I have no trouble understanding my friends IRL but they don’t act like this.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 08:03 PM
2

I was asked in a conversation what value I bring to a relationship and I told them. I disagree about your ideas about masculinity and femininity though. I think it is the juxtaposition of those gender ideals that make people the most attractive. I have a pretty face but I also sometimes cuss like a sailor (because I was one). I dress in a very feminine way but I also climb mountains and ride motorcycles. I am sweet and kind, but I also love dark, morbid humor. The combination of those things is …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 08:02 PM
1

It’s sad that you still, in the face of being called out for such action, feel the need to attempt to insult me online. How desperate for validation are you? Jesus.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 07:58 PM
2

Most of my friends are already married and have no idea how to navigate dating today. It was a single friend of mine who told me to check out FDS in the first place.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 07:57 PM
0

You sound like a crazy person. I’m 44 years old. Of course I’m not going to stop having sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 07:56 PM
2

So you only like women with no self-confidence to cling to you and need constant reassurance?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 07:56 PM
2

Why would a woman want to submit to a man?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 07:55 PM
2

People are strange online.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 07:55 PM
1

On what scale?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 07:54 PM
3

What makes you think confidence is a masculine trait?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 07:54 PM
1

What if he said he was fit, smart, funny, kind, an honest communicator, a good cook, likes to spoil people, and treats people with respect?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 07:53 PM
1

Every job interview I’ve ever been in has asked me what my strengths are. How could people not know that?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 07:52 PM
1

Depends on how morbid your sense of humor is. If it’s not morbid, I’m probably not funny to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 07:51 PM
2

What makes you think what I value about myself is being a woman?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 07:51 PM
2

I wasn’t hurt by it. I was just curious what the dynamic was going on.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 07:50 PM
0

I have no idea how long it takes someone who meets me to like me. You’d have to ask my friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 07:49 PM
2

“Value in the dating market is determined by who you can pull.” I am not looking to stay in the dating market forever and I can “pull” pretty much anyone I want. I’m more concerned about my value in a relationship and what I bring to it, whether platonic or romantic.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 07:48 PM
2

It’s weird to me that people don’t like others to value themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 07:15 PM
2

I only have to mention FDS to get people to insult me.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 07:15 PM
2

Someone specifically asked me what qualifies I bring to a relationship and I told them. They put me down.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 07:13 PM
3

It is odd to me when people just refuse to be happy for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 06:21 PM
1

Interesting
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 05:51 PM
2

Yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 05:51 PM
1

You’d have to know me IRL to be able to tell the difference.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 05:11 PM
1

I thought Reddit was a bit of an older crowd than that. My bad.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 05:11 PM
2

Yep.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 05:10 PM
1

That’s a good thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 05:10 PM
2

It’s what the kind of man I want in my life finds valuable.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 05:10 PM
2

Interesting that you think my confidence is arrogance, that I’m lying about being fit, and that I’m unintelligent. Also interesting that you think a person being overweight means they shouldn’t be confident. I would hate to live as you.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 05:09 PM
2

Your opinion or theirs?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 05:08 PM
3

I think I mentioned that I’m fit, decently attractive, smart, funny, kind, affectionate, enthusiastic in bed, a good cook, like to spoil my people, and communicate directly and honestly. People commented things like I’m low value because I’m old, have kids, am probably not actually smart or attractive, don’t actually have confidence, and don’t have anything to offer men except sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 05:07 PM
1

Trying to figure out how men think gives me a headache.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 05:05 PM
1

Then I guess I’m good. I said what my qualities were but didn’t say if they were better than anyone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 05:05 PM
2

I think I have a good mix of qualities that I value and that being value to a partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 05:04 PM
2

I think some men think women only have looks to being to the table because that’s the only thing they value. In that case, they’re going to get exactly what they deserve- nothing.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 05:03 PM
2

The men who like me, like me. The men who like me want to date someone their own age.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 05:03 PM
2

I am both neurodivergent and from the West Coast so direct communication is normal for me. After moving to the South, I had to drastically change how I write and speak to make people around me more comfortable. It’s sometimes exhausting to code switch all the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 05:02 PM
0

I don’t go around explaining what makes me great to people IRL. In this case, I was specifically asked what qualities I bring to a relationship and I answered honestly.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 04:59 PM
2

I don’t try to change people. I can just see the people around me leaving religion in droves, gaining perspectives on morality, and being more concerned about human rights and the environment. All of that is good, IMO.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 04:58 PM
2

I was just curious. I was specifically asked what I bring to a relationship and I answered honestly. That was often viewed as arrogance by men.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 04:57 PM
3

The difference between confidence and arrogance online is the audience’s perspective of where I’m coming from. Most women viewed my comments as confidence and many of the men viewed them as arrogance. Why do you think there was such a difference in the perception by the different genders?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 04:56 PM
2

FDS has given me the ability to make better decisions, cut off toxic people, walk away from dead-end relationships, and figure out what I truly want and value in a partner. I didn’t really have the common sense to figure that out on my own as a I was enculturated from a young age to view women as inferior to men.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 04:55 PM
2

I was asked in a thread about FDS what qualities I bring to a relationship and I answered honestly.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 04:52 PM
-2

They asked what qualities I bring to a relationship and I answered honestly. If you view that as bragging, okay.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 04:52 PM
1

I agree.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 04:51 PM
2

That does sound awful. I like confident people too.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 04:51 PM
2

I disagree completely. I think humanity just keeps getting better. I have high hopes for the future.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 04:33 PM
3

I believe everyone is born good. You’re right that abuse causes abusers but that is where maturity and personal growth come in. At some point, a person has to stop blaming their parents or the world for their own failings and fix themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 04:32 PM
2

I mean, you can read it if you’re really bored. It was in this group.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 04:31 PM
1

I fully expect a man to vet me and determine if he likes my qualities. He’s wasting both our time if he doesn’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 04:30 PM
2

I do agree that a lot of FDS is batshit crazy. I have taken the parts of it that make logical sense to me and have left the rest. I have also had people on here explain why listing qualities could come across as arrogant. It’s hard to determine tone online and these people have no reason to trust me.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 04:29 PM
3

I think my confidence is more about what I value in myself and what I, legitimately, bring to a relationship be it platonic or romantic. A man who doesn’t value the good things about me can either value things about me that I don’t care as much about, or date someone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 04:27 PM
2

Thank you! I never gave much thought to my intelligence when I was a kid because I didn’t care one way or another but teachers would always tell me how smart I was. So, I got into and attended a very prestigious college where the required SAT score to get in was above 1400 (on a 1600 scale). At that school, I almost always felt like the dumbest person in the room but it just made me work harder.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 04:24 PM
0

Source?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 04:21 PM
-1

I was asked specifically in a conversation about FDS what qualities I bring to a relationship. I answered truthfully. I’m also not really concerned about being seen as ladylike. Seems like an outdated concept. I just am what I am.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 04:21 PM
2

Maybe I’ve only ever seen a bunch of female sheep before.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 04:20 PM
1

I was just pointing out that I could be deadly if I had a weapon in my hands as I was raised hunting and was also in the military for a few years. It is true that I don’t feel the need to be armed because I do trust most men not to hurt me. I believe deeply in the goodness of most people and I understand my likelihood of being violently attacked is very low, especially where I live. Carrying a weapon all the time in the event of an attack would be as silly as carrying an epi pen at all times bec…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 04:19 PM
2

I could see myself living with a partner someday. I still have kids at home and I definitely don’t want a step-dad for them so it may be a while before I’m ready for that.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 04:17 PM
3

I never said it was only men. I know of some horrific incidences of female perpetrated domestic violence. I also know the statistics of the likelihood of women versus men experiencing deadly or very harmful abuse.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 04:16 PM
3

That’s a good perspective. I guess I am more of an asshole online too because I know being an asshole IRL hurts relationships and I have motive to maintain relationships there but not online. I also believe we are all some percent asshole and do some mental code switching depending on who we are with.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 04:14 PM
3

Reddit can be a toxic place. I get much better reception IRL.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 04:12 PM
2

I don’t think it is necessarily my qualities that are the limiting factor in a relationship. I have realistic expectations but I also have high standards and don’t feel the need to settle.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 04:12 PM
2

I understand now how the intent can get muddled online.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 04:10 PM
2

It was specifically in response to an FDS question about what I bring to a relationship and why I feel I get to be picky about who I date. I can see why that would trigger people who don’t get to be picky.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 04:10 PM
2

I am trying to have faith in the goodness of humanity but some of the people here are working hard to destroy that.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 04:09 PM
1

Someone explained to me the difference between confidence and arrogance and I can completely see how confidence online could come across as arrogance.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 04:08 PM
1

It’s true that the things I bring to a relationship would not at all be valued by a red pill man but they are valued by the kind of men I want to date. That’s why I want to date them- they have the same values as I do.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 04:07 PM
1

I get nervous talking to anyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 04:06 PM
2

Most of my friends are women, so yes, I have talked to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 04:06 PM
1

If you have meanness in your heart, I think you’re probably a mean person.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 04:05 PM
2

That’s a good perspective. I think, because I am neurodivergent, I am the same person in my thought life as I am in real life and the same online as well. Maybe a bit more argumentative online because I feel argument are generally harmful in real relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 04:04 PM
6

It was on a discussion here about FDS. I was specifically asked what I bring to a relationship and I told them. I can see how that could be irritating but it wasn’t intentional.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 04:03 PM
5

I don’t know. They seemed to be pretty intent on putting me down with insults.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 04:02 PM
1

I don’t carry or even own any weapons because I understand that would not benefit me.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 04:02 PM
3

Also that women experience more abuse over their lifetime.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 04:01 PM
2

I am not married because I don’t want to be. I am happy being single right now because I’m not sure if I want a long term partner or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 04:01 PM
1

I just give them the finger by stopping communication.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 04:00 PM
1

I can see why people would assume motivation if they don’t know or trust me.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 03:59 PM
1

I have trouble getting through self-help books but I am a bit more open to them now after reading and loving Untamed by Glennon Doyle. Thanks for the suggestions!
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 03:49 PM
2

Fierceness in me doesn’t translate to arguing. I loathe confrontation and avoid it whenever possible. I value peace and harmony and have never spanked my kids and I don’t yell at them or at my partners. This quality manifests itself in a relationship because it allows me to have healthy boundaries and leave if someone crosses my boundaries. Drive is also a benefit in a relationship. I am not driven to compete with my partner but to be the best I can be in everything I do. Passion means I care de…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 03:48 PM
7

I take what I like about it and leave the rest.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 03:44 PM
2

I have one main person I see several times a week and we are sexually exclusive and then I have dates with other people 1-2 times a week.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 03:44 PM
1

Blocking is so freeing.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 03:43 PM
6

Most of these comments seemed desperate rather than edgy.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 03:42 PM
3

Fair point.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 03:42 PM
2

What evidence do you have that women overvalue themselves? I’ve seen research that suggest many women suffer from self-esteem issues.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 03:41 PM
3

There’s a lot in there. It also seems to contradict itself.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 03:40 PM
11

You have a very low view of men. Do you have the same view of yourself?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 03:39 PM
2

Confidence shouldn’t be threatening. Why not just live and let live?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 03:38 PM
15

Yes, I am on the spectrum. I can see your point, however, the conversations we were having were specifically about FDS and I was asked what qualities I bring to a relationship. Neurodivergent people are bad at faking things and I speak very deliberately and just say what I mean. People who don’t think like me often apply hidden meaning or motivation to my words because, if they spoke like that, there would be hidden motivation.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 03:37 PM
1

My perfectionism is well under control (because I also believe in constant personal growth) and I have learned to let go when others don’t hold themselves to the high standards I have for myself. It is true that I’d like a partner who holds themself to high standards as well but I am willing to accept many flaws as long as they are not deal breakers for me. For example, I eat very healthy and stay fit and thin but my favorite date right now eats a lot of junk and is a little chubby. I cook healt…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 03:35 PM
5

Seeing an incomplete picture of me online would probably lead someone to believe my confidence was misplaced. Being my friend in real life would change that view.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 03:32 PM
1

That’s a very smart way to look at it. Thank you. I do think constant self-evaluation, personal growth, and deep reflection is a cornerstone of true confidence. I also think it may be what delineates the confident from the arrogant. A confident person accepts being wrong and is willing to change.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 03:30 PM
5

It’s very hard to give evidence of my personal qualities online but my real life relationships are all the evidence I need. People like me, want to be around me, and seek out my company.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 03:28 PM
0

“These people need to be taken down a peg.” You see how that shows your own lack of confidence, right? You want to drag someone down to your level.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 03:27 PM
6

It was pertinent to the discussion at hand because we were talking about FDS and I was asked what I bring to a relationship that would cause me to be able to pick which men I get to date.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 03:26 PM
2

Citation?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 03:25 PM
4

What are the gender roles of sheep?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 03:25 PM
1

I am not at all an alpha anything. Too much work. I am a bit of a perfectionist but I don’t think that’s the same thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 03:24 PM
1

It was pertinent to the discussion because we were talking about FDS and I was asked what I bring to a relationship to justify being able to vet men.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 03:23 PM
2

I have have the privilege of dating some wonderful men who really like my qualities but I have not yet found the “one” where everything aligns and we also have chemistry.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 03:23 PM
2

What is wrong with fierceness, drive, and passion? I need these qualities to succeed in my career and in life.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 03:22 PM
1

Again, I don’t see this behavior so I will just have to take your work for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 03:20 PM
-4

I don’t think I am arrogant, I think I am just realistic about my qualities and flaws.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 03:20 PM
3

Isn’t that just them expressing their true selves online and hiding their true selves in real life?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 03:19 PM
3

When I meet a confident woman, I think “good for you for knowing how wonderful you are!” I don’t find it annoying at all. Why is confidence annoying to you? Do you feel the need to insult everyone who annoys you?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 03:18 PM
3

That’s why I am upfront about how my brain works early on in dating. I don’t want to end up with someone who can’t get it.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 03:16 PM
1

I will have to take your word for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 03:16 PM
7

That’s a good explanation. By your definition, I am confident because I have evidence.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 03:15 PM
5

Doesn’t that mean they are just displaying their true selves here and hiding it IRL?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 03:14 PM
-4

I’ll add this to the pile of other people who don’t like confidence.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 03:13 PM
3

I wasn’t offended by any of it as I understand the nature of online discourse. It just made me curious about why it was happening and what the thinking behind it was.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 03:13 PM
8

It’s sometimes very frustrating to have conversations with neurotypical people because of this dynamic. I can only repeat that I meant what I said so many times before I check out.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 03:11 PM
2

I mean, we never fought or wrestled but I could pick him up.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 03:10 PM
2

I understand that rejection is hard but I’m not sure why that would trigger someone to lash out. Pro-tip: don’t tell the person why you’re not interested. That just hurts feelings unnecessarily. Just say “I don’t think we’re a match.” If they demand to know why, block them.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 03:09 PM
1

Honesty is the key to a successful relationship. Using makeup or wearing clothes that accentuate your physical beauty are not deceptions, they are just adornment. You’ll see your partner without makeup if you last that long.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 03:06 PM
8

Saying “it’s common knowledge” doesn’t prove your point. This is a debate forum. Provide sources.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 03:04 PM
3

Also funny that you think you know what my reality is.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 03:03 PM
2

Well, I didn’t lose any sleep over it but I did find it interesting and a bit sad.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 03:02 PM
2

It was pertinent to the discussion at the time because we were talking about FDS and I was asked what I bring to the relationship that would allow me to pick and choose who I give time and energy to and who I don’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 03:02 PM
4

People keep trying to lock me down but I haven’t found the right one I want to commit to yet.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 03:00 PM
5

I, myself, have struggled with depression but I take meds for it. I do continue to be friends with people who struggle with their mental health. It’s not so I can fix them (they need a doctor and therapy for that) but so I can support them and let them know they’re not alone. Many people do that for me and I feel it is right to give back the love and support I get.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 03:00 PM
10

Citation needed.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 02:58 PM
3

I brought up my qualities in these discussions because they were pertinent to the conversation. We were talking about FDS and people asked what I bring to a relationship. I guess I’m not that concerned if men here think my qualities are beneficial to them because I only date men who do think my qualities are what they want. A man who wants to dominate or “lead” in a relationship would not be attracted to a woman like me because I neither want nor need a leader as my partner. I’ve got that part h…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 02:57 PM
7

It was pertinent to the discussion because we were talking about FDS and what men and women bring to the relationship. I don’t know around my daily life spouting my qualities but it was fitting in an online discussion about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 02:53 PM
9

What is bad about close male friends? One of my best friends is a guy I met in 8th grade. He’s married, has a beautiful wife and wonderful children and I love them too.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 02:50 PM
6

What about traditional gender roles is rational? It’s 2022.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 02:49 PM
1

It actually made me worried for some of them. It shows a very skewed and possibly dangerous view of the world in general and dating specifically.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 02:46 PM
3

Interesting idea. Can you tell me some examples of this?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 02:45 PM
1

What is the difference between confidence and arrogance? Why is knowing what is good about myself a bad thing? Isn’t that just honesty and self-love?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 02:44 PM
5

I used to have a certain amount of self-loathing and then I left relation behind and started to explore reality. I was encouraged by friends and my therapist to try to see myself the way others see me. When my friends tell me they love being around me and that they value my presence in their lives, I finally had the good sense to believe them. That’s where most of my self-love comes from. I have friends who can’t see themselves the way I do and don’t know how wonderful they are, and that makes m…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 02:43 PM
9

That is a very strange way to look at it. I just am what I am. I am also neurodivergent so I say exactly what I mean and mean exactly what I say. Neurotypical people often look for hidden meaning and agendas in communication but most people like me have neither. I wonder if it’s just a communication issue and failure to understand each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 02:40 PM
3

We were talking about FDS and I said I know what qualities I bring to a relationship and I listed some of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 02:37 PM
3

Why does it matter how I phrase my worth? Am I responsible for keeping my value hidden to make insecure people feel better? I will change the wording on my post. Thanks for the heads up.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 02:35 PM
1

A dominant man is a serious red flag to me. It’s fine if he’s the boss at work but the second a man tries to dominate me, I’m out the door. No confident, emotionally stable woman needs a man telling her what to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 02:33 PM
0

There are plenty of women who are stronger than a lot of men. I was two inches taller than my last boyfriend and only weighed about 15 lbs less than he. I am also trained in shooting. None of those things turned me violent or into a sexual predator. I had no inclination to use my strength to hurt him or anyone. If women were stronger than men, men would just arm themselves because they are inherently more violent and inclined to start fights, commit domestic violence, rape, and kill.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 02:31 PM
-2

It’s honestly funny to me how triggered y’all are by a confident woman. Your insults are lame and you should feel bad.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 01:49 PM
3

That’s a very sad view you have.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 01:45 PM
3

Good thing I’m not trying to attract you.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 04:27 AM
1

My favorite date has firm boundaries but he is always kind.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 03:16 AM
4

Some of us women are very fit and have personalities and brains.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 02:12 AM
4

I like all kinds of men but I tend to attract the fit ones because I am a long distance runner and they want someone to run with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/22 11:10 PM
6

I find delightful men of all ages. Look beyond the basics into a person’s character. That is where the real gold is.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/22 09:13 PM
1

It’s true that we judge the past by today’s morals. That’s why atheists like me find the morals taught by the Bible to be repugnant. Self-actualization is a luxury for sure that people can’t really pursue unless their other needs are being taken care of. It’s hard to pursue your dreams of becoming a painter when you’re experiencing homelessness or hunger. I have traveled quite a bit around the world and understand how Western ideals are foreign to some people but I also believe we have connectio…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/22 09:08 PM
1

Humans as a whole are getting more moral as humanity evolves. There is much less violence now and many people are more free to find self actualization and be their true selves.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/22 08:26 PM
1

Of course I’m not going to date any men who don’t want to be with a mom. Don’t worry about me, I get plenty of interest. Some people like women their own age.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/22 07:13 PM
0

I would hope not.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/22 07:12 PM
0

I may be willing to live with a man again. But he would not have to take on father duties. I take care of my kids just fine on my own.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/22 05:27 PM
-1

I’m not young.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/22 05:27 PM
1

Not really relevant on a sub about humans.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/22 04:38 PM
-1

All it takes to be good looking is to be fit and have good hygiene.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/22 04:37 PM
1

I am.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/22 04:37 PM
0

My kids already have a dad. They don’t need another one.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/22 04:36 PM
1

He is the one who can’t decide if he wants to commit. I would be all in if he was.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/22 03:13 PM
1

Maybe?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/22 03:12 PM
0

My kids are not grown.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/22 03:12 PM
1

That’s his job. Duh.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/22 03:03 PM
1

My dating history would beg to differ.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/22 03:02 PM
3

That’s just, like, your opinion man. Ever seen their posts about HVM and green flags?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/22 03:02 PM
1

It works for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/22 03:01 PM
2

I have no idea what you just said.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/22 03:01 PM
1

I’m guessing you’ve squished an ant before but never a person. Humans are more valuable to humans.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/22 03:00 PM
-1

I never said I was humble. I know I’m smart. It is what it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/22 02:59 PM
1

It’s not lack of intelligence on my part, it’s self preservation. Why would I fully commit to someone who isn’t sure yet about me? I could end up wasting years and not find my “one”
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/22 02:59 PM
1

I will stop dating any time he wants me to commit. He suggested the arrangement. It’s not fair to me to ask me to fully commit to someone who isn’t yet sure. I am not sneaking around as we are both fully aware of the situation. I haven’t asked him if he’s been on dates but he’s free to do so. Just knowing how much he likes staying home, and my stuff is all around his house, I doubt he’s having women over.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/22 02:57 PM
5

As a human being, I deserve to be treated with dignity and respect and I follow the platinum rule and only date men who do as well: treat others the way they want to be treated.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/22 02:55 PM
3

It is only a requirement that the people I date have at least a college degree as I find my values don’t align well with those who don’t. Because of this, most of the men I date also have decent jobs but I have no income requirement. I dated a really lovely guy for a while who was much younger than I and made about $12/hr but he was wonderful.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/22 02:54 PM
3

Some men have been conditioned by society to treat women poorly but that is rapidly changing as the consents of masculinity have evolved to encompass a wider range of male traits, including a lot of the good ones that were formerly considered unmanly- like going to therapy and feeling emotion.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/22 02:53 PM
5

I appreciate that. I value men and women, do some activism for men’s rights but consider myself a feminist, and love my male and female children equally. I value humans and don’t like to make sweeping statements about large groups of people.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/22 02:50 PM
1

We were talking about how FDS defines high value, not about what society does.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/22 02:48 PM
1

Except this guy had so much more confidence. You’re not far off though.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/22 02:48 PM
1

I don’t care if other people consider him high value because I’m the one dating him, not other men. I am loyal to him. He asked me to keep going on dates with other men because he’s not sure yet if he can see himself being a partner to a mom.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/22 02:46 PM
1

We are taking the time to get to know each other and fall in love. It’s very sweet and comfortable. We’re not in a rush.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/22 02:44 PM
9

That’s a very infantile way of looking at the world. By your definition then, ants are more valuable than people because they manage to reproduce more.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/22 06:50 AM
6

I’m fine with not having any man at all but if I do find a partner, it will obviously be someone who loves and respects me.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/22 06:50 AM
2

Says the person who’s never been raped.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/22 06:20 AM
–

Nope. I don’t have to convince anyone of anything. My worth is self-evident.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/22 06:05 AM
3

I was just pointing out one of the recent scroat roasts in FDS. A woman who did the same thing would be worthy of roasting as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/22 06:04 AM
3

One of the recent scroat roasts on FDS was about a male doctor who branded his liver transplants with his initials.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/22 05:50 AM
–

I wouldn’t know. Maybe if she branded her initials on the livers she transplanted?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/22 05:46 AM
5

You must be young.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/22 05:46 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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