Men, if you got divorced, would you willingly pay alimony/spousal support?

Fit-Entrepreneur8404 · 2026-08-16T13:17:46+00:00

I'm a sahd so id want at least some alimony for a bit so I can get back into the workforce and settled in my own place but I wouldn't expect it indefinitely.

Zoya_The_Destroyah · 2026-08-16T13:06:02+00:00

Because I do not want a traditional arrangement or kids, no. I would not want to pay any spousal support.

If kids were involved, I’d feel an obligation to support them through some mix of child support and shared custody. If we’re just two adults with 0 dependents, we go our separate ways and support ourselves.

Gravel_Roads · 2026-08-16T13:33:24+00:00

I make less than my partner, so if anything I’d be the one receiving alimony.

But if I had been the breadwinner of the family, yes, because all my breakups have been amicable, I wouldn’t want them to suffer just because I led them to believe they could forgo job experience.

If we had kids, I’d also fight for custody, but I would be willing to pay child support. Because I’d want my children to receive the best care possible.

r2k398 · 2026-08-16T14:23:25+00:00

Nope. My wife has a great career and makes about the same amount of money as I do. There would be no reason for spousal support.

And no, it wouldn’t change my obligation if kids were involved. I would definitely pay child support but that is separate from spousal support.

Main-Tiger8537 · 2026-08-16T15:28:13+00:00

no... i would do everything in my power within the relationship that she is able to support herself on her own...

if kids are involved it is the same thing but depending on the custody situation id pay child support or receive child support from her for sure...

MarioWilson122 · 2026-08-16T20:43:05+00:00

I would probably fight the amount, but without a prenuptial agreement I would likely end up paying whatever the court ordered. Going into marriage today without a prenup is a silly risk, especially for a man who has substantial assets or expects a traditional arrangement. I would never marry without one, but I will still play along with the hypothetical.

Divorce would end most of my obligation to her as a spouse. Children would be different because my obligation to support them would continue regardless of the marriage. If she stayed home at my request and sacrificed years of income and career development, temporary support while she becomes self-sufficient would be more reasonable than supporting a working spouse or paying indefinite alimony.

A traditional man expecting his wife to depend on him should not leave her with nothing immediately after divorce. That still would not mean he must accept any amount or duration demanded without challenging it. A prenup should establish those terms before either person becomes dependent.

mobjack · 2026-08-16T13:32:50+00:00

As someone going through a divorce, I will likely pay alimony for a few years until she gets an education.

I don't mind paying in theory but the issue is the amount.

Steakman1 · 2026-08-16T13:43:38+00:00

>do you feel a sense of obligation to the person you married even if you get divorced?

That depends on the situation

>would it change the equation if there were kids involved?

If I knew with certainty the money was going towards the kids, I wouldn’t have a problem with child support. But as far as I know, there’s no obligation to prove the child support money is being spent on the kids. But maybe I’m wrong.

If we had joint custody, and it would prevent her from living in some sketchy lower income area, then I would be ok with alimony as long as it doesn’t force me to live in a sketchy lower income area.

>Would you be more willing to pay if she was a stay at home spouse

Assuming this was agreed upon during the marriage, and she actually did her part around the house, then I think any man that would try to fight alimony in this situation is a POS.

DavidSwimmer19 · 2026-08-16T14:21:22+00:00

A better question is, would a woman pay spousal support to a man she divorced, especially if there were no kids?

Gendering this question brings alot of implications. I'm almost 100% certain OP isn't asking the question in good faith.

The only people that deserve support are children. It's no 1950, A married woman is not a victim of "circumstance". Married women deserve nothing in the event of a divorce, unless she's been a SAHM for the entire relationship, and since that is extremely rare in 2026, so should alimony.

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deletbait · 2026-08-16T14:18:28+00:00

All of this would depend on my ex-wifes financial situation. Realistically in 2026 we aren't going to have a single income house hold and, again, being realistic I doubt I would make 3x my ex. So I'm not sure why I would need to pay alimony. I would presumably also be struggling after the divorce and that can't be good for the kids so adding another drain on my already stretched finances wouldn't help me at all.

EqualJellyfish6914 · 2026-08-16T14:33:24+00:00

I'm assuming we both had jobs prior to getting into the relationship, neither of us lost our jobs, and we still have jobs through and after the relationship.

In which case, no.

I don't care how much more money I was making during the relationship (if I was), that doesn't entitle her to any of mine.

If there are kids, I would have equal custody so there would be no need for child support - the child would be supported directly by my care.

If either party wasn't working during the relationship - I would be questioning why I was married in the first place!

BobtheArcher2018 · 2026-08-16T14:43:11+00:00

It's a weird choice as the fight in court determines whether support is owed and how much, and she would for sure be fighting to maximize what I paid.

So I'd do the courtroom dance. Now, if for some reasons I did a lot better than I thought I should, I might compensate by paying more than ordered. But then the choice would be mine.

SpookyPutin · 2026-08-16T14:57:49+00:00

Do I feel obligated to her? No we're adults who decided to go our separate ways.

If we had kids I'd want to be there for them as much as possible cause they're my kids just as much as hers so unless she struggled to take care of them in her new life there wouldn't be a reason to.

If she were a stay at home wife then yeah but honestly I wouldn't agree to her being a stay at home wife unless I made a ludicrous amount of money to begin with.

Proper_Card_5520 · 2026-08-16T14:59:03+00:00

Well if she really needs it and is finding new ways to earn I will do it, i am not going to have a white dragon at door.

JollyRoger66689 · 2026-08-16T15:02:54+00:00

If kids are involved or if I hypothetically asked her not to work ( I wouldn't do this) then yeah.... otherwise I don't know why she would still feel entitled to my shit if she I no longer my partner

Training_Milk5322 · 2026-08-16T15:47:48+00:00

Cheating, regardless of how a court sees it, will always factor in. If the partner cheated, they deserve NOTHING.

If she was sahm, she absolutely needs support, UNTIL she is able to get employment. Even if it requires her to seek education services. No that doesn't mean support for decades or until she earns a masters. It should be reasonable.

Children should receive support, again, unless its proven they are a product of infidelity, then the support needs to come from the affair partner.

Now this goes both ways. If he was the sahh, then he should get support under the same conditions. fair is fair.

AlarmingToe8503 · 2026-08-16T15:53:15+00:00

Depending on her financial situation, how intertwined our finances are, if we have kids, and if we're being spiteful and vindictive to each other or just splitting up amicably. But in general, yeah, I think it's reasonable for your spouse to get half of your shared assets. The only way it really becomes totally unreasonable is if you agree to keep your finances separate and then she still feels entitled to your money when you divorce.

I also think it's probably reasonable to exclude assets you had before you married. Like I don't really see why a woman who never even met my mom is retroactively entitled to half of the money she left for me when she died. But it is fair that we treat our combined earnings and purchases while we're together as something we have to split.

fucksiclepizza · 2026-08-16T19:40:47+00:00

Yes, shes the mother of my kids and gave up her career to raise them.

AlmostKindaGreat · 2026-08-16T19:53:21+00:00

It depends.

If she sacrificed for me/us, like staying home for kids, I feel she would deserve something for that. But I don’t want kids so that shouldn’t happen. The only other scenario I can think of is if she gave up a higher paying job so we could move for my job. That’s legitimate too.

If she just needed support for any reason, even if she didn’t do something or sacrifice for me, I would probably give it. I never stop caring about someone, even if we broke up.

I’m talking about at least sustaining a decent middle class lifestyle for her until she gets back on her feet. Maybe for years. I make a lot of money so she would be living at a higher standard than that with me but I don’t think it’s her right to have that indefinitely without me, at least not funded by me.

If she had her own job that could fund a middle class lifestyle then I would probably not feel compelled to support her just so she could live with more luxury. That is, unless she did something to sacrifice for me, like I noted at the beginning.

DietTyrone · 2026-08-16T21:24:37+00:00

Do you feel a sense of obligation to the person you married even if you get divorced?

Depends heavily on the circumstances. If she cheated then hell no.

If the divorce is amicable, something we both wanted, and I know she took a blow careerwise specifically because of the marriage, then sure I'd help out for a while till she can get back on her feet.

captaindestucto · 2026-08-16T22:45:26+00:00

I'd pay child support of course, assuming we didn't have shared custody.

I would not expect let alone demand a sahm situation - it's unaffordable anyway - so there'd be no legitimate reason for alimony.

Training-Cook3507 · 2026-08-16T13:23:09+00:00

Why can't the woman pay alimony? Why does it automatically have to be the man in your mind?

Alimony? Absolutely not. Reasonable child support? In theory it's a good idea but the way it's set up it's essentially another form of alimony.

eluusive · 2026-08-16T20:04:43+00:00

I willingly paid alimony-ish privately agreed upon outside of court when I got a divorce. However, I stopped it when I found out she was already living with a new man. My rationale is that she was now his responsibility.

ImaginaryDimension74 · 2026-08-16T14:08:11+00:00

I don’t have kids, but I absolutely believe it’s a father’s responsibility to help provide for his children whether he’s divorced or not. I don’t think a father should bear the vast majority of the costs however. I’m also a fan of presumption of joint custody laws. A father should have an equal financial obligation but also equal custody if he desires.

Other than children, I don’t think people should be entitled to other people’s money, especially if they are not in a relationship, unless they’ve agreed otherwise. If there’s an agreement one will provide the other some financial support in the event of a divorce, then that should be honored. If a wife wants to drop out of the workforce and be owed financial support from an ex husband and he agrees, they should sign a prenup or other such contract to that effect.

I think this applies equally to both men and women. If I marry a woman more wealthy than myself, I don’t think I’m owed any money from her if we divorce.

Alimony is becoming less and less common, for good reason in my opinion.

Naebany · 2026-08-16T13:52:39+00:00

No, why would I? If I made her stay at home and take care of kids then maybe it would make some sense, but I don't want kids and she can, and even should work.

But I guess I also don't want to get married to there's that.

Title	Men, if you got divorced, would you willingly pay alimony/spousal support?
Author	divingrose77101
Upvotes	5
Comments	168
Date	August 16, 2026 1:03 PM UTC (1 day ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1vpwj7l/men_if_you_got_divorced_would_you_willingly_pay/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-if-you-got-divorced-would-you-willingly-pay.1633140 https://theredarchive.com/post/1633140

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