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View 2 posts and 118 comments by drslvtr on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
106

RED FLAG 🚨drslvtr/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 09:15 PM
1

Story time ☕drslvtr/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 03:09 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
51

My dad has a graceful way of handling bills when we go out as a family. Once we eat dessert and have tea/coffee to finish off, my mom and I head to the bathroom to touch up. My dad says "go be prettier like it's possible" and we have a laugh. While we linger for a few minutes my dad takes care of the bill, orders another round of tea and we sit down to chat and enjoy each other's company. He's a generous tipper too, so wherever we frequent we get amazing treatment. The wait staff know not to bri…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/22 09:54 PM
485

I've been with two men who I suspected to be porn addicts. I've later discovered they were into some very niche, extreme porn. I've had several male friends who admitted to being addicted to porn. It's so common that it chills my spine. When you're with a man who's addicted to porn it's always about him. Sex is never about the two of you, it's always to cater to him. You feel like you're in a play with a specific role and sex is not a pleasurable mutual activity any more. He doesn't care about w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/22 10:23 PM
161

Your boyfriend sounds amazing. It's easy to see how much he cares about you and loves you. Bare minimum and upstanding behavior can be different for different women. I know for some women, not being beaten by their husbands or not having mistresses is high value behavior, and for some other women getting a $1000 bag for their birthday is bare minimum. I grew up in a culture where upstanding men is defined by three things. 1) Not gambling/having addictions/visiting brothels, 2)Having a job with i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/22 05:50 AM
33

When a man tells me I'm beautiful or give me any compliment, I always say "I know". If the compliment is genuine they take it well. If they didn't mean it, it sends them to rage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/22 09:03 PM
31

I love running. Once I went for a run with someone I dated briefly. We started running and he left me behind, practically sprinting away from me. I got a major ick, deleted and blocked him right afterwards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/22 10:16 PM
18

I'm learning not to say "if I could do it all over again". Whatever I did in the past taught me so many valuable lessons. I'm trying to be okay with my younger self and show her compassion and understanding. Distancing and disassociating from those experiences hasn't been sitting right with me. Hence, the therapy. Of course I would do some things differently. But there's nothing I can do about any of that now. So I'm choosing to be grateful for my past and hopeful for my future.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/21 10:52 AM
16

Dead bedroom is a sad reality in some marriages and relationships. I escaped mine by divorcing my ex husband. The first times in our relationship, it was all flirts, chasing, fun, lots of effort, nice dates, you name it. After marriage all of it literally came to a record scratching halt. I found myself doing all the housework, cooking, laundry and managing finances. On top of it, I supported my ex husband during his PhD while I did mine, while I received little to no support in my equally diffi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 10:05 PM
229

A great conversation is a foreplay. When it's done tastefully, evoking curiosity and playfulness, there's nothing like it. I have come across only a few men in my 33 years of life who have mastered this art. I've met men who couldn't listen. I could see they were preparing their lines in their head as I talked. I've met men who loved to listen to themselves. They were so in love with themselves, I was only a wall that their words bounced back. I've met men who claimed to be good listeners. They …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/21 01:32 AM
40

This reminds me of something my ex husband did once that broke my heart, and eventually made fall out of love. We were having sex and I was giving him a blowjob. I came back up to kiss him and he wouldn't kiss me. He told me it would be "gay" for me to kiss him after I had him in my mouth, and he told me to gargle with a mouthwash if I wanted to continue. He even got up and brought the mouthwash bottle and a glass. I couldn't believe it. How dare he. If my partner treats natural bodily fluids as…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/21 09:59 PM
15

Same! I adore dressing up and if I have a date I like to get ready with cute dressy jeans and a nice, stylish sweater or a blouse. It's mostly for me, so I can enjoy the whole process and have fun with myself. I don't go out on dates with guys who I think won't put effort in how they look, so usually they match my sense of style and we look good next to each other. I also don't get to dress up for work so getting dolled up is something I miss! I save my beautiful cocktail dresses and all out mak…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 04:36 AM
4

I had a hoe phase after my divorce. Dead bedroom that lasts five years can do strange things to your mind and body. I wanted pure physical pleasure, nothing more. My hoe phase lasted a little over a year. Looking back, I now understand why I did the things I did, said the things I said, thought the thoughts I thought. Being denied of something or being starved of something puts you in a scarcity mentality, you just want to shove it to your face the second you find it. It's not a good place to be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/21 10:55 AM
30

I'm in the same place. Totally agree with you on "life is not black and white". My career and my study takes so much of my time that it's tough to have a committed romantic relationship. It's tough because a loving, deep, committed relationship takes time, emotional investment and literally headspace, which I don't have these days. I don't want to worry about another person. I'm not dating these days but when I start dating I'd also look for people who are in the same place, looking for similar …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 10:26 PM
91

I totally agree. Comparing men to men is pointless. None of my partners so far have been better than me, or even comparable to me, in any way. It's kind of sad, really. These days when and if I meet a guy, I automatically run a simulation in my head and it always ends in "meh" feeling. They don't have anything they can offer to me that I don't already have. I would be sacrificing my time and effort for "meh", and my time is precious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 06:04 AM
51

I'm difficult because I don't accept any excuses from men, in my private and professional life. I'm difficult because I have high standards and I refuse to compromise on those. I'm difficult because I refuse to conform to societal and religious pressure. I'm difficult because my independence means the most to me. I'm difficult because of my experiences, I've been hardened and polished. I'm difficult because I enjoy being so, and I have no intentions of going back to my old soft, marshmallowy rom…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/21 10:19 AM
305

I felt so lonely when I was married. Being lonely in someone's company crushes your soul. I'm much happier being single, especially when I'm not dating. It's a wholesome feeling like nothing else.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 06:04 PM
36

I stopped dating. I deleted OLD. I look at men with analytical eyes rather than from an emotional, welcoming place. I became really good at spotting red flags in anyone. Friends, coworkers, bosses. Sometimes even in myself. I started therapy. I put myself first. All these are basic advice from FSD. Over the course of few months I can't believe how much happier, less anxious and productive I am. There's not a single thought in my mind that's clouded by a guy. I feel genuinely good and I don't thi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/21 11:08 PM
12

I clean when I'm anxious, stressed or when I need to clear my mind. As I sweep, mop and dust I feel like my brain is also getting decluttered and organized. A few months ago I did the same to my social media accounts. I decluttered all the guy friends/acquaintances that were orbiting, girl friends that I'm not fond of, and some other people who I don't know much and didn't contribute to my life. I made all my accounts private and made messaging/DMs only through request. It felt so good to be in …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/21 11:40 PM
7

I'm going back to school! At the age of 32, I switched careers and started pursuing my passion as a pastry chef. After a year of hard work, juggling three jobs and questioning my decision every day, I now work for a fine dining restaurant as a pastry chef with great pay and great hours. I get to decide the menu, I have creative freedom and my colleagues are lovely, supportive people. I decided to go back to a proper cookery school while working full time to have a solid diploma under my belt. I'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/21 11:26 PM
27

I always keep a book with me wherever I go. For dinners, if I'm seated by the bar I chat with the bartenders, front of the house or other guests sitting close to me. If I don't feel like it, I bury myself in my book. If I'm seated by a small table overlooking the place, I like to people watch inside and outside. If the place is crowded and they're looking to seat people together, I tell them in advance that I'm happy to share my table with other patrons, provided they're not with small children.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 06:54 AM
70

I'm a big foodie. There's nothing I love more than going out to a nice restaurant and enjoying a full course dinner. Dressing up, doing my hair and my make up is so much fun and gets me excited for the whole evening. Especially for someone who has to wear uniforms to work, getting ready means a lot more to me these days. I've been taking myself out to dinner dates for a while now, making reservations at fancy restaurants, showing up all dolled up, enjoying my solo dinner over a book. It felt a b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 09:44 PM
10

Right? He was more than welcome to break up with me and pursue her, he just didn't have the guts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 12:23 AM
14

It was like a punch to the stomach. I talked to a few girlfriends of mine about it, and most of them told me to ignore it because it's "nature of men", there's nothing we can do about it. Only one of my friends told me that I didn't have to go through with anything I didn't want to, and I deserve a man who is 100 percent in it. I kept her in my life and ditched the rest in the following years.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 12:22 AM
212

My (now) ex husband and I were in the process of applying for partner based visa for overseas. We had to prove our relationship and that meant sending our chat history of few years to an immigration officer. He downloaded everything and sent it to me. He forgot to exclude his chat history with his "buddies". At that point I had never snooped on him and we were together for five years, but something in me told me to look at the chat history. I found so many misogynistic, sexist, horrible comments…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 10:22 AM
19

I also have a very high sex drive. Or so I thought. It's been a while since I stopped having casual sex. After doing some soul searching I realized that the things I like about sex is not the sex itself. Being touched, admired, being the center of someone's focus, being kissed and cuddled, and hearing sweet words are what I actually like, want and maybe need too. I was really lucky to have amazing sex partners so far, all of them very generous and skilled. Maybe 9 out of 10 times I had orgasms. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 02:29 AM
11

I was brought into this world without my consent. I would never want to do this to another human being. This feeling made much more sense to me after reading "Better Never to Have Been" by David Benatar.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 09:48 AM
10

I feel the same. I've been married before and I have no desire to do it again. When I used to date, the relationship escalation like asking for exclusivity, engagement and marriage freaked me out. But I still enjoy quality male company, we're social creatures after all. Curious to hear how others who feel the same navigate dating in this context.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 10:25 PM
141

I feel the same! I've had a period right after my divorce where I only wanted sexual exploration and experienced the same issue. I love flirting, being seduced, the banter and all. When men open up with "wanna bang?" it takes away all the fun and the anticipation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 11:14 AM
4

Best of luck!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 10:43 PM
5

Hope you found a much better job! It's such a huge part of our lives, having a terrible workplace and/or colleagues kills your joy. Being able to leave and find something better definitely gives you that confidence and helps you get out of the scarcity mentality in many aspects of your life. I don't have to put up with harmful conditions or bad people, whether it be work or personal relationships. Let's keep leveling up!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 11:25 AM
27

So true. Left my job recently where I worked for a horrible boss who micromanaged me and destroyed my confidence in the kitchen. It's my first week at my new job and I literally am flourishing. I'm appreciated, praised, encouraged and thanked. My whole psyche has changed. I will never work for someone who won't appreciate me. Same goes for relationships.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 06:51 AM
20

Oh how I relate to all of that. I was married for six years and shared a small house with a messy, untidy man. After my divorce I vowed myself to never live with one, ever again. I now live by myself and am loving it. No intentions of cohabiting, ever. I want to buy my own house all by myself and not think about a future spouse, in case they want things differently. I also don't want to ever get married because the separation, even though was friendly, was also expensive and long. I don't like t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 03:50 AM
26

This is me! I have no intentions for marriage, kids and especially living together, ever. I'm sure it's possible to get a long term commitment, but many people judged me and ridiculed me for my those specific needs and called me names. I'd love to hear from like minded ladies about their experiences.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 12:44 AM
7

I accepted my dream job in a fancy restaurant as a pastry chef with great hours and better pay. The people are amazing and I'm already learning lots, working happy. I started teaching Les Mills classes in my gym, it's been such a great mental and physical stimulation for me. I stopped dating and got off OLD for good. I don't feel ready to go back any time soon. I've been seeing friends more and visiting the ones out of town. It's been a good excuse to go out and see new places. I got a new drive…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 11:08 PM
1

I do enjoy my casual connections. I have physical needs as any adult does, but I don't want the responsibility of a relationship for those needs to be met. I've met respectful, kind, caring and like minded men and women and we get together for "casual" connections every now and then. We all have fun and go about our lives until the next time. I don't have to think about commitment, changing my lifestyle, moving for someone or remembering their birthdays. I have friends and family for that. It's …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 11:04 AM
19

I actually appreciate when they're upfront about what they're looking for. I also look for only playmates or casual partners on OLD and am quite honest about it. When people want the same thing, great! If not, we wish each other good luck and move along. I've had men match me looking for a girlfriend but after a few lines of respectful chat we unmatch, because we want different things and there's no point in keep chatting. I will not commit to any men in near future and I don't want to string an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 06:29 AM
7

I know! I automatically swipe left and sometimes send good looking ones to the dump as well by accident haha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 10:01 PM
33

No smile? Swipe left. Kid in the picture? Swipe left. Giving the finger? Swipe left. Badly dressed? Swipe left. Group pic with lots of guys? Swipe left. No face showing? Swipe left. Fish or dead animal? Swipe left. Oh look, there's nobody left. Do I care? Nope.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 11:19 AM
2

Hey I hear you. I also suppress my emotions and push away people who might commit to me or want more than something casual. I'm guilty of leading decent people on and disappearing from their lives when things moved forward. I'm also staying away from relationships these days and let people know upfront that I'm only OK with being playmates. Honesty feels the best. Good on you for being aware of your attachment styles and taking responsibility. Wish you the best!
/r/ExRedPill17/07/20 05:31 AM
3

I'm with you on the attachment styles and how anxious and avoidant people usually end up together (not necessarily happily, of course). I can understand as someone who's more on the avoidant side of the scale. The question is, are you happy being avoidant and attracting anxious people? Do you want to eventually become more secure and have relationships with secure people? Are you OK with causing chain reactions like you did with your ex-girlfriend?
/r/ExRedPill17/07/20 05:19 AM
12

People are not black and white. People can change their minds. People can be fluid in their desires and needs. Maybe she wanted commitment from you, not from them. Maybe she changed after her interactions with you, and thought that commitment wasn't her priority after all. Maybe they couldn't provide anything else but commitment, and she wanted more. Who knows?
/r/ExRedPill16/07/20 05:07 AM
2

It's so sad. When someone wants to see you they make the effort. This weekend a lovely guy drove three hours to see me and we had a fantastic time together. When they want someone, they go for it. They make it happen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 04:40 AM
2

I don't necessarily go for tall guys, but the gentleman I'm seeing currently is 1 foot taller than me. There's something sweet about the way he leans over to kiss me, hold me and take me by the hand. He's a great spooner too. He's the tallest I've ever been with and now I get why some women go for tall guys.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 04:39 AM
28

I would throw this fucking man in an active volcano. How dare he.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 02:45 AM
10

I've also been told that I have intimidating, sharp facial features. I love that my face can intimidate the weak hearted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 04:20 AM
8

My recent ex reached out to me a few days ago. He told me about how much he missed me, how hollow his life is now, how he has no hope for his future and so on. I was the one breaking things off. I was the sole emotional provider of the relationship, and it was so exhausting. There were nice, lovely, tender moments but the whole thing was not worth it. It was like investing millions and getting a few hundred bucks in return. Of course, relationships are not business transactions, but the effort s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 03:48 AM
3

Divorced here. Never been happier^^ I will trade nothing for my freedom ever again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 10:14 PM
3

I mean , that's exactly what I expect from men currently. Don't want to commit to any of them, but want everything from them. As long as both parties are clear and are on the same page, I see no issues with this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 11:08 AM
22

This is what I've been doing for the past few months, reaching out to my younger self and telling her it's alright, it was the best she could do with the experience and knowledge she had at that time. She did a good job and now we're here, wiser and stronger. I love her for always being hardworking and kind, and now I love myself for all those things plus putting myself first. We did this together. So much more to learn!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 10:41 PM
1

Me too! It leads to really interesting conversations.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 09:29 PM
6

Totally agree with you. People with distorted understanding of reality scare me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 06:48 AM
17

Nice guy disguise is much worse than outright douche bags tbh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 02:45 AM
6

Ugh, he sounds like an insufferable guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 02:44 AM
28

Right? All the women he dated were amazing, smart, beautiful and just so out of his league!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 02:44 AM
22

Exactly! Barney was genuinely a good friend. I'd rather be friends with him than Ted. Oh yes Marshall FTW.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 02:43 AM
19

I know! It was infuriating to see him consider himself as a catch. Robin should've stopped contact after the first date disaster and move to Argentina.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 02:41 AM
8

I think this is a very insightful reply. Showing investment and care is not necessarily through paying for dates. In my home country men always pay. It's almost unthinkable for a lady to reach for her purse after dinner, it's highly insulting to men. But this doesn't show any special investment or care because men will do this for any women. For their sisters, daughters, colleagues, the old lady next door or just regular friends. So paying for dates wouldn't be a good judgement if you were to da…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 11:49 PM
9

That's also my reason for dating. Practicing conversations, reading people's expressions and body language better made me feel more confident in general.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 11:15 PM
18

With one partner who had very thick and long penis, I was never able to orgasm from penetration. With another partner who had average length and thickness, I was able to orgasm from penetration only. His penis was also curved a little bit naturally instead of being straight. I'm guessing it's the spot that it hits. It didn't matter what position we did, I always had an orgasm. I wish I could buy his penis as a toy because it was literally made for me hehe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 12:31 PM
2

Oooh that's awesome! Definitely treat yourself to something nice once you can. You deserve it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 09:34 PM
6

So very proud of you! I got mine last year, feels great isn't it? Good luck on your defense!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 09:37 AM
10

How is any man not offended by this book or anything that implies they are not capable, self sufficient or able to survive on their own? If I were a man with self respect and dignity, I would be furious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 09:25 AM
18

This was very disturbing to read.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 06:06 AM
28

I browsed OLD with a friend who's swiping these days. Her age range is 30-40. Boy, do these men age terribly. Men are their own worst enemies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 05:56 AM
5

I was thinking the same thing the other day. The men I let in my life added so little in my life while I gave them so much. There's a meme that goes like "I've raised that boy", it was me. I'm sure their next girlfriends will thank me, ugh... Realizing this, I've decided to let men who'd only contribute to my life. Spending time with me and having my company is a privilege for men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 04:04 AM
3

You're absolutely right. Thankfully my ex didn't hold any info against me when we split, but I know couples who got really nasty after breakups and told each other's private info to other people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/20 10:09 PM
5

Moving in together absolutely kills most of romance and desire. At least that's been my experience. You will eventually see your partner being lazy around the house, leaving their unfolded clothes on the bed, farting in their sleep, getting sick and needing care. When relationship becomes responsibility, it might increase caring, maternal love but definitely lessens passionate, erotic love. I was also bored with the sex we had at the end of first year of our marriage. It wasn't great to begin wi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/20 10:04 PM
42

It's interesting to me how people can maintain romance and passion and be their best friends at the same time in their relationship. I found that as I got closer and knew the most intimate things about my ex husband, the mystery, romance, passion and excitement diminished over time. We became so comfortable with each other, at the end of our marriage we were literally best friends/roommates. But the rest was gone. Back then I also believed that I needed to know absolutely everything about my par…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/20 10:53 AM
109

Soulsuckers. They are called the soulsuckers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/20 12:43 PM
31

Very interesting post. I somehow agree with the consuming/outputting aspect of hobbies. I can't speak for other people, but I'm expected to put out a lot of results at my work. Everything I do is towards a goal, and it's exhausting to continue that mindset in my free time. I like to read books, watch movies, play instruments or dive into a baking challenge. Not necessarily to put out something, but to actually enjoy the process. I believe we are conditioned to come up with a product at the end o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 08:24 AM
25

Ooh that's interesting! Sounds like my dad, actually. He was in the military when he was young and he has six sisters. He's a retired professor and he's very good with money and his investments. Hope you meet someone that will endlessly make you happy!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 02:01 AM
21

I'm curious! What's your type? I have a specific type too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 12:59 AM
10

I hope mods don't find this inappropriate, my intention is not to write erotica here. I always had this mindset where I existed for the pleasure of men. Growing up, it was ingrained in my mind. Be gentle, be obedient, be the object. My ex husband always put his pleasure first, and I thought that's how it should be. But during those years, I almost never felt physical pleasure from sex. It was rough, long, mostly painful and lacking in romance. Something in me shifted and I couldn't bear being th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 03:06 AM
16

Absolutely. Pretending that you like something when you don't will mess with your mind and decrease your pleasure. We absolutely like to feel desired, be chased, be adored and all those nice things! Domination came to me naturally when I got together with my last partner. He was very receptive of me and cared so much about my pleasure, unlike my ex husband. He let me explore what I like and what I don't and I learned so much about myself. Don't think about spitting, hitting, choking and all thos…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/20 11:51 PM
95

After six miserable years of terrible sex and dead bedroom following it in my previous marriage, I'm very selfish when it comes to sex. I'm bossy in bed and I orgasm first. I require my partner to be open minded and receptive, selfless and fun. It doesn't work otherwise. I took back my power, self confidence and control by gently dominating my partners in bed. All my life I've been controlled by men in my family, my society, my social circle. I never had the first say in how things would be in m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/20 10:07 AM
16

I'm originally from a Middle Eastern country. I was even married to a man from my home country. I can tell you that most men from this region will be possessive, jealous, controlling and misogynistic. The society will treat men like kings because of culture and religion, and women are second class citizens at most. When you marry, you marry into your husband's family and are expected to be their servant. You will have no freedom or space to express what you think and how you feel. You will be ex…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 12:15 PM
18

I lived in Japan for five years and I've seen many example of this. Terrifying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 12:09 PM
8

I'm in the same spot. I am divorced and don't ever want to get married. Cohabiting is also out of question. I've been seeing someone for the past year and they kept insisting on living together. We gave it a try for two weeks, and I sent him back to his house so quickly he must still be dizzy. I can't do it, living together is shitty for me. I also agree with dating multiple guys at the same time within certain standards. Try not to budge your boundaries or you'll find yourself cleaning after a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 09:42 AM
18

Hey, I feel you. A big hug. I'm also divorced after 6 years, we were together for 12 years in total. Those small things get to you and it accumulates over time. You know there's something lacking. You know things could be much, much better. You know you deserve the best. But leaving after such a long time, especially someone you consider your best friend, is so hard. You will hit the bottom, you will doubt your decision. You will have dark days. But there is only one way, and it's up. You will k…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 09:11 AM
32

They don't understand why she's genuinely upset. When your partner watches porn and masturbates to it, you feel rejected. Here I am, a perfectly healthy and beautiful woman, available, loving, full of desire. Yet he goes into multiple websites, searches for horrifying content watches and almost studies it religiously while he strokes himself to the point of numbness. He puts his effort and time in this, not you. This is the biggest slap in the face, it's insulting and humiliating. I'd understand…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 10:22 PM
7

You be safe out there sister!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/20 03:07 AM
14

It's Middle East. I was brought up in a delightful mixture of religious and cultural misogyny. I hear that India is also not an easy place to live as a woman. Are you still in India?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/20 12:30 AM
80

Thank you! It wasn't easy, but I got out and I'm never going back.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 04:17 PM
138

Thank you! I don't live there anymore, I can never go back.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 04:17 PM
635

The epitome of male entitlement. This is very common in my home country. We even have a saying for this, that goes like this: Either I have you, or you belong in the dirt. Meaning, you don't deserve to live unless you are mine. Women are killed, disfigured, kidnapped, assaulted, injured and raped by entitled men like this every day. The misogyny is so deeply ingrained that most women think that men should be jealous enough to threaten their lives unless they completely submit to men, otherwise i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 03:10 PM
43

Of course it's their precious. Porn doesn't talk, doesn't have opinions, doesn't have expectations, doesn't require any effort.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 01:55 AM
3

#nukehim
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/20 08:14 AM
30

I sort of understand. We are humans, we are highly social creatures. We can say that we don't care what others think of us or say to us, but we do to some extent. And that's alright. Compliments, being noticed by others, validation and attention is something we like and enjoy. But I think there's a difference between the attention or validation we get from most men and other people in our lives such as close friends, families and colleagues. In my case, I feel like the attention I get from men a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 11:19 AM
6

I'm not very familiar with OLD as I have only used Bumble once, for BFF function. Don't OLD apps ask for some background info? How can they let ex criminals or sex offenders (not your case, I know, but I've heard of some cases) open up profiles on their app? Your experience chilled me to my core, the nonchalance is astonishing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 04:16 AM
68

I used to wonder (in my 20s) why so many amazing women around me were single. I secretly thought that something was wrong with them. Maybe they were crazy, too demanding, lacking in something, etc. I was a pick me back then, thinking I was so above those women because I was in a relationship and they were not! Now I'm in my 30s, I understand those women so well. They were not crazy, too demanding or lacking in something. They were, and still are, amazing people. Successful, loving, supportive, f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 10:57 PM
25

The only scenario I will fight over a man is during an apocalypse and it's because he's the only source of protein.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 08:53 AM
15

Hey, I'm so sorry to hear you're struggling with these unkind words and how they affected you. Here's a big hug. I don't have much to add to everyone's already wise advice here. I can share an experience of mine if that helps make you feel better. I struggled with vaginismus, a condition that makes penetration very painful and almost sometimes impossible. My gynecologists had to use pediatric speculum to examine me, and even with small equipment my exams would end in tears. All of them said I ha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 04:10 AM
8

Exactly, you summed it up so well!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 02:00 AM
39

Another type of men that I find insufferable is the one who maintains his social life through the woman in his life. Many of my girlfriends have boyfriends/husbands/fiancees that socialize because the ladies organize a get together with the partners. The men get lazy and wait for the next gathering their wife/girlfriend will organize. They never make an effort to come up with an idea or hang out with their own friends, because why put in the effort if someone else is willing to do the work? My e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 12:55 AM
6

Getting an STD must be very stressful and upsetting. Ladies, I'm very sorry if you've been diagnosed with one. And I'm sure avoiding taking STD panels and whining about using condoms are one of the many traits of LVM. A man like that doesn't deserve you and shouldn't be in your lives. Safety and bodily autonomy is non negotiable. Yeet him at the first hint of complaint. My current partner and I went to get STD screening together. I have an IUD for my own piece of mind but I didn't inform him, he…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/20 11:20 PM
8

Not really. He was a very attentive partner even when we lived together. But now that we don't, there's an extra element of anticipation, excitement and yearning. When you start living together it's inevitable that you become more comfortable with each other and lose excitement. At least that's what happens to me. You don't hug the same person every day like you see them for the first time in weeks. It becomes usual. That's what I tried to say but chose poor words to express it. Even though I re…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 07:54 PM
2

I'm glad you didn't give in to the pressure. We're not crazy, we're waking up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/20 10:45 PM
3

When I see statements like this from young women, it makes me upset. Don't you have things you want to do, dreams you want to chase, schools you want to finish, careers you want to excel at? Is dating your only focus in life? Why are you wasting time worrying about some boy who doesn't even think about you? There's so much potential in these young women, it's sad to see them waste it for men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/20 08:57 AM
4

Whoa, I've never heard of such thing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 08:11 PM
21

Lovely, your husband sounds like a sensible man. I don't have kids but have a young brother, I try to make sure he picks up good examples from me and treat all women in his life as respectful as possible. He's a HVM in making and I'm a proud sister.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 07:26 AM
67

This is very true. They say that G spot is somewhere in our vagina, but I believe it's between our ears. We are not stupid. When our partners do chores around the house for brownie points, or treat us to nice things every now and then in hopes for sexual favors, we see it. And once we see it everything loses meaning. We are not vending machines that you could put coins in and expect sex to fall. It would be a lot sexier if they do their share without being told and not expecting in return. Any s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 07:23 AM
2

I agree with you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 10:27 PM
15

I'm divorced and I will not marry, get a boyfriend or cohabit with a partner again. But that doesn't mean that I don't want any sexual interaction with a man, ever. I date very casually but still within golden standards, and currently I have one partner that I'm sexual with. I have no strong feelings and we get along well and respect each other's wishes. After having a dead bedroom in my previous marriage, it was refreshing to have a partner who I could explore my sexuality with safely. We keep …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 11:17 AM
6

I have a simple trick for this. Growing up in an oppressive culture and being taught to be always nice and kind automatically make many girls, including me, pushovers. This has terrible consequences, of course. There's a reason why my home country is plagued with child molestation, because we teach our kids to always say yes and be respectful towards grown ups. At 32, I'm still struggling. But my trick is to not say "yes" or "no". Instead, when someone asks me something, whether it be a boss, or…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 09:57 AM
44

Not sure if mean but something very true I said to my ex husband: "I've been much happier since you took that job and left home. I've been so alone in your company, and now that I'm by myself I enjoy life again. Living with you was so much work, I could've gotten where I am now in my career and my personal development in much shorter time." I'd been contemplating divorce for a while then, when, he accepted a position in a different country and assumed that I would naturally follow him, dropping …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 02:52 AM
3

This makes me so happy! Enjoy your freedom, your time, your money and all the fun things you can do with these.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 11:13 PM
19

It's not for me. Even when I was engaged and then married, I never wanted to wear my rings because it felt like a mini "collar", like something signifies that I belonged to a man, I had an "owner". It felt suffocating. But I know others enjoy wearing wedding rings, each other's names as tattoos or jewelry or things given by their SO. This one in the picture looks tacky to me. Anything that screams "I own you" is desperate and trashy in my opinion. You can't own a person and they can't own you. T…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 10:20 PM
22

As more women participated in work force, men should have picked up their share and contributed to house work more. But that's not how it went down. I'm originally from a Middle Eastern country where women are discouraged to work. My mother (a retired teacher) had to return to work 40 days after she gave birth to me. She had to sign me up with a daycare as soon as she went back to work. She would finish work and pick me up on her way every day, ride the bus home and start cooking, doing laundry,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 03:43 AM
6

Exactly. Still young, and enjoying my solo life so much! Cleaning after myself, keeping my house just the way I want, going anywhere and doing what I want without explaining myself is the best, thing, ever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 10:12 PM
36

Same here. Never again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 08:00 AM
20

My ex husband did this constantly. He would complete the smallest, the most low effort of chores after being asked to do multiple times, and come up to me for praises. It was cute and funny for the first times, but after a while it gets to your nerves. Because you don't need praise and treats for doing laundry and taking out the trash, you're not a 7 year old. His constant need for praise made me feel like I was living with a child. And it kills the romance pretty quickly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 09:48 AM
2

So proud of you. Nothing like the happiness that comes from making yourself the priority.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 10:33 PM
48

I've lived with two men before, one my ex husband and other my current boyfriend. With my ex husband, we moved in after marriage. The guy who couldn't stop bragging about being a feminist and importance of sharing household labor slowly turned into a slob. I let him go. With my current boyfriend, I needed a place to stay for a while casually due to the nature of my work. His room was fully furnished and he made more than enough space for me, but I still didn't feel ownership or in control. So I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 12:00 AM
6

Exactly. When you try to talk to people about your frustration, they make you into this crazy, obsessive woman who can't stand a single particle of dust. Consistency is very important in maintaining a house and it's cruel for just one person to carry on the weight of this big duty.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 08:13 PM
95

I felt like giving up many times, but I thought, "hey, I didn't come into this world to clean up after a grown man". To be honest, seeing his mess killed my love for him over time. I wasn't feeling romantic or in love any more. Being a caretaker kills romance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 03:25 AM
146

This was one of the reasons for my divorce. The chore division got worse and worse progressively and I found myself mothering him around the house, telling him what to do. My ex husband is a scientist, a very smart and practical man. Yet he was somehow clueless on how to clean a toilet, after being shown over and over on how to do it. I'm now living in my own house, immaculately clean and tidy all times. If I have to be a manager of a house I'd rather do it for myself, not for anybody else. The …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 02:53 AM
31

I struggled with living together with my ex husband because we had completely different standards when it came to tidiness and cleaning. I hated the mess he made. After my divorce I got my own place and boy it was heaven. I developed obsessive cleaning habits after our 7 years living together, now I can't go a day without vacuuming, dusting or tidying up. I can't imagine sharing a house with anyone, ever again. When I meet prospective partners I tell them that cohabitation is off the table and m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 08:16 PM
15

Men who type lol and incomplete words irk me to no end. Nothing can be less attractive than men who speaks like a teen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 09:00 AM
5

It's hard to not feel this way when your friends are all coupled up and you're the one left out. I'm a divorced 32F and all throughout my young adult years (18-25) I was dating my ex husband. And I remember feeling a sick, smug feeling of being better than my single friends. I would pity them for not having someone special, while they went out to travel the world, enjoyed their freedom and met many interesting people. Not to mention that they grew as people, too. What did I do during those years…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 10:21 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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