I recently found this community, and it was great timing because I just split with my husband. I’ve discovered so much I wish I knew before I married, and you ladies put into words many of the thoughts I’ve had over the years. So thank you for the support.

It wasn’t obvious when we married, but it became evident that my husband is a LVM. I gave up so much to be with him, but he proved he lacked the life experience to make mature, responsible decisions for our future.

Ultimately, what was the final straw last week was just a small pet peeve in the beginning. My husband had a bad habit of calling me names when he got really really angry. They weren’t even terrible names, just small put-downs like stupid or crazy. This did not happen often, and it only happened when I would escalate fights, but I know now it shouldn’t have happened at all. During our last fight, I had had enough, and told him how disrespectful it was and that if he could not apologize, he would have to leave.

But I’m torn, and sad, because we really became best friends and it’s hard to lose that closeness and understanding. He is not a bad person, he has a great heart, and he did dote on me in his own way, just not necessarily the way I wanted. We’ve been together for so long that it feels uncomfortable without him.

At the end of the day, I have to respect myself, and he did not respect me or the work I put in. I know it is time to move on, but it still hurts.