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eefr Archive

View 0 posts and 2,171 comments by eefr on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

How you personally would classify a particular act is legally irrelevant.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/23 05:06 AM
5

It's basically the same stuff.
/r/ExRedPill13/09/23 06:29 PM
2

I'm talking about high value or low value in terms of self worth and happiness. You literally responded to my first comment by talking about people's contributions to society and the fact that people with disabilities may be dependent on social assistance, as an explanation for why they are of lower worth. You wrote something obviously ableist, but instead of taking responsibility for it, you are going back and claiming you meant something totally different from what you literally wrote. Whateve…
/r/ExRedPill13/09/23 05:09 PM
3

This was your original comment: What men need to learn is to dispel the myth of the successful casanova from their minds. You don't become high value by degrading women. And women don't become low value by having sex. Sexual encounters or "body count" do not determine your value. Your value is determined by how good of a person you are, how much you benefit society, how kind you are to the people around you, how mentally and physically healthy you are. Money and sex is extremely superficial. You…
/r/ExRedPill13/09/23 04:45 PM
3

Why do you think that being unhappy or having a lower quality of life means someone is worth less as a human? Do you think people living in poor developing nations with lower quality of life are worth less than people in wealthy countries? I'm not arguing in bad faith. I believe, in good faith, that ableism needs to be called out.
/r/ExRedPill13/09/23 04:33 PM
3

Hopefully he'll be in jail instead of public office. I think there are some positive things in this sub, but yeah, some negative things as well. It feels like less of a safe and supportive space. I can see why you would consider unsubbing. It's really up to you and your comfort level.
/r/ExRedPill13/09/23 04:27 PM
3

Ableism is sadly quite common, even in people who think of themselves as progressive on most other issues. But gradually that's changing, and there are more and more people who won't think your worth is determined by your health. You just need to find them and surround yourself with people who see your worth regardless of your medical conditions. The "taxation is theft" people can rot in hell as far as I'm concerned. Or all go live on an island somewhere with no roads and no clean water, because…
/r/ExRedPill13/09/23 04:15 PM
6

I agree that ableism exists and is common; that doesn't make it right.
/r/ExRedPill13/09/23 04:01 PM
4

You wrote a whole long comment about how finances are not an indicator of worth, yet now people with illnesses / disabilities are worth less because they may be financially dependent on their country?
/r/ExRedPill13/09/23 04:00 PM
5

Your value is determined by [...] how mentally and physically healthy you are. This is extremely ableist. People with the misfortune to develop illnesses are not worth less than people who are healthy. Humans have worth and value regardless of their health status.
/r/ExRedPill13/09/23 03:41 PM
15

Well, you don't know these particular women at all, and since women are not a monolith, it's hard to predict what these individual women will do in the future. People (of all genders) stay in shitty abusive relationships all the time, unfortunately.
/r/ExRedPill13/09/23 03:24 PM
10

Haha, sure, so long as there's room service and fine dining there.
/r/ExRedPill13/09/23 01:01 PM
17

So what attracts you to red pill thinking is that you know people who are red pillers and they are in relationships? But surely you must also know people who are not red pillers who are also in relationships. Why do you see evidence of the former as more valid than evidence of the latter? But it’s hard to defend my position Why do you need to defend your position?
/r/ExRedPill13/09/23 11:15 AM
20

Yes, but what do you find attractive about it?
/r/ExRedPill13/09/23 10:43 AM
8

advice on how too get girls I think as soon as you're framing your goal as "getting" women — as though women are commodities that you acquire — you're already going down a dark path. I'd advise you to reframe your goal as building an intimate connection with someone. That focuses your attention on their individuality and independence, and on the mutuality and equality inherent in your relationship with this person.
/r/ExRedPill13/09/23 10:40 AM
42

Why does being single make you feel that red pill content is real and valid? Ask yourself what attracts you to the red pill, and that will help you reframe your thinking to avoid falling into that trap. Which, by the way, is unlikely to make you any happier or less frustrated. Red pill people are a miserable bunch for the most part. I'd also advise you to stop looking at red pill content as that will just infect your mind and increase your rage and bitterness.
/r/ExRedPill13/09/23 10:30 AM
9

How on earth will not masturbating help anything? Nofap is a weird cult with no basis in science.
/r/ExRedPill13/09/23 10:24 AM
14

Or it's possible that they're just putting up pictures of their vacation and their entire life doesn't revolve around getting approval from men.
/r/ExRedPill13/09/23 03:47 AM
12

Meh, as a definitely not flawless woman, I don't need other women to put up unflattering pictures just to appease me. I do think media sources should present a more representative and realistic sample of bodies, but I don't think that duty falls on private individuals posting pictures to their personal social media accounts. It's not their job to manage my insecurities by putting up pictures that make them feel self-conscious.
/r/ExRedPill13/09/23 03:46 AM
69

I don't get why red pill men think of humans as "low-value" or "high-value" to begin with. It's absurd.
/r/ExRedPill13/09/23 12:14 AM
1

Huh, that's very weird! 😞
/r/ExRedPill09/09/23 07:40 AM
1

I would love that!
/r/ExRedPill09/09/23 07:39 AM
2

Aw, thanks. They're really great cats and I'm very lucky. ❤️
/r/ExRedPill09/09/23 07:32 AM
2

Ah, I see. Apologies, I'm having a tired day.
/r/ExRedPill09/09/23 07:28 AM
2

because women can lose their virginity more easily [...] and hence must exercise control. The fact that something can be done easily is not logically related to whether one ought to do it more or less.
/r/ExRedPill09/09/23 02:04 AM
14

Like there is no way a chad type of guy gonna write down these lines? "Chad" is a mythical creature that lives only in the minds of misogynists, but people who feel secure in themselves and their desirability don't tend to come to r/exredpill to rant. And youre saying that youre not assigning any more value to words of a chad than an average or ugly dude? People are assessing your words on their merit, by reading. We have no idea what you look like. You're seizing on one tiny piece of what the p…
/r/ExRedPill06/09/23 11:59 AM
15

Do you rate your friends on their desirability as friends too? Do you look at people and think, "Objectively, this dude is an 8 as a friend, but that one over there is only a 6"? Is that how you decide which people to be friends with? If you are friends with a dude and think he's an 8, does that mean everyone holds him in high esteem and thinks he's objectively better to hang out with than the dude you think is a 6?
/r/ExRedPill06/09/23 10:55 AM
7

I have no idea who David Goggins is, but your comment is spot on. TRP men need to learn how to think for themselves, instead of moving from one guru to the next and mindlessly adopting someone else's ideas. OP, go outside. Observe the world. Have deep conversations with people in which you talk about how each of you views the world, what each of you wants out of life. Talk to people of every gender. Expand your social network. Reflect on your own experiences instead of turning to some internet g…
/r/ExRedPill06/09/23 08:24 AM
29

You sound high as fuck. Redpill beliefs are not very rational. Most people get there through emotional reasoning and an uncritical belief in pseudoscience. Try using your rational mind more, not less.
/r/ExRedPill06/09/23 07:24 AM
4

That makes sense. Personally, I am not usually terrified by cold approaches, but I feel annoyed and resentful. Like if you cold approach me, the fact that you're doing so makes me already dislike you. I will say no 100% of the time. All you're showing me by cold-approaching is that (a) you primarily just care about what I look like, because you are interested in me without knowing anything about me, and (b) you are the kind of person who would interrupt and pester a total stranger expecting them…
/r/ExRedPill05/09/23 02:08 AM
5

Thanks for your response, it's very gracious. ❤️
/r/ExRedPill05/09/23 12:15 AM
3

So you watched some videos on YouTube — somehow taking them for an unbiased source that actually understands and accurately represents the results of research — and then confirmation bias has convinced you they are universally true, and now you're literally telling women on the internet what we want, and completely discounting what we ourselves are directly telling you? That's pretty arrogant and condescending, frankly. if you genuinely dont want him leading [...] then... it just kinda means you…
/r/ExRedPill04/09/23 11:42 PM
5

I do believe women like strong men who can lead (at least in my case is what I want) and they can surrender to in that sense (in a I trust you way) Please don't speak for any women but yourself. This is decidedly not what I want.
/r/ExRedPill04/09/23 11:34 PM
1

I do believe women like strong men who can lead Please don't speak on behalf of anyone but yourself
/r/ExRedPill04/09/23 11:33 PM
5

yeah, no, i think looking at it as a "right" is def like... not what we want Having an expectation that this is the norm, the default, is a soft way of enforcing a "right." The fact that you're gentler in the way you enforce it doesn't change the inherent inequality. And that's the point I keep trying to get across. It's not how nice you are in expecting men to be in charge; it's the expectation itself that we object to. it seems to be that the healthy relationships tend to be a situation where …
/r/ExRedPill04/09/23 03:28 PM
4

In your original comment you said: we as men commonly feel like you guys try to grab at the wheel a little too much My objection is you assume you have a natural right to have the wheel, instead of your partner. She is "grabbing the wheel" from you, because the wheel is yours. Why don't you see your disagreements as you grabbing the wheel from her?
/r/ExRedPill04/09/23 02:55 PM
8

Like... im trying to be ex-redpill. How is it ex-redpill to think men ought to be in charge in a relationship, and women ought to submit? There's nothing ex-redpill about that. wouldnt she want that? that'd be dope af, right? Would she want a man who thinks he ought to be in charge of everything, and if she "respects" him she will "submit"? No, I imagine not.
/r/ExRedPill04/09/23 02:13 PM
8

The reason I took issue with it is that OP is in a very vulnerable position right now, and I don't want her to feel she has some moral obligation to stick around and try to "save" someone who may psychologically damage her in the process (especially when they have expressed no desire to change). I've been that person who tried to stick around in an unhealthy relationship to help someone, and it fucked me up for years. I want people in this situation to know it's okay to cut your losses if your p…
/r/ExRedPill04/09/23 12:46 PM
3

OP indicates that her boyfriend only started saying this stuff recently. Read more carefully next time.
/r/ExRedPill04/09/23 12:35 PM
7

Why are you talking about crying? OP didn't mention that anywhere in her post. We're not talking about a guy who has some unhealthy notions about showing emotion; he literally thinks she should "submit" to him because she's a woman. You can work with someone who has trouble showing vulnerability. You can't work with someone who believes they have a right to control you. There is literally no way to have a healthy relationship with someone who thinks you are inherently inferior to them.
/r/ExRedPill04/09/23 11:32 AM
8

I have a close friend who is radical feminist. She is lesbian and everything. 🙄 You know that being a feminist doesn't turn you gay, right?
/r/ExRedPill04/09/23 11:19 AM
7

Decent women don't fall for red pill douchebags. Could you just not? Ffs what a douchy thing to say.
/r/ExRedPill04/09/23 09:55 AM
4

I'm really glad you had a background in this area and were able to recognize it within less than a year, and even gladder to hear you're working with a therapist and gradually healing. I think abusive behaviour often does stem from underlying insecurity. "I'm scared you will leave so I will do everything in my power to control you to prevent that from happening." It's a really twisted response to that insecurity, though, and I think the other essential ingredient is not having a good sense of wh…
/r/ExRedPill04/09/23 09:09 AM
4

I'm so sorry you went through all of this, and very relieved that you got out. I know that the flavour of your abuse was red pill, but this actually sounds like a pretty typical abuse pattern, with an abuser who starts out extremely sweet, very romantic, and seemingly perfect (the "love bombing" stage), and then gradually gets more critical, angry, abusive, and controlling. Have you read up on abusive relationships generally? I suspect that red pill was only the means by which he executed his ab…
/r/ExRedPill04/09/23 08:31 AM
8

Yes, what he's showing you is so easy to be interpreted and delivered from a viewpoint of misogyny. Says the above dudebro, before delivering a long and poorly written tirade of misogynist drivel. You seem to take it as a given that men should be in charge, and your criticism of red pill rhetoric is that men don't assert this politely enough. My beef is that they assert it at all. I don't care how many times you say please and thank you if, while saying it, you're denying me autonomy because of …
/r/ExRedPill04/09/23 08:07 AM
9

Indeed, there are dumb people who say [any dumb thing]. So what? The title of your post suggests you think red pill is the same as feminism. Now you're backpedalling and saying that's not what you meant. Then why write that in your title?
/r/ExRedPill04/09/23 07:39 AM
22

They demand men to earn a good salary, to be tall, provide money, and to avoid certain attitudes. An alpha male is a guy who earns a lot of money, have a priviledged body, and have bassically a jerk attitude. If you are not like that you are a beta male. This sounds a lot like agressive feminism demands. You don't understand feminism very well.
/r/ExRedPill04/09/23 07:32 AM
4

Yikes! Your family holidays must be very tense and frustrating.
/r/ExRedPill04/09/23 03:46 AM
22

100% this comment. OP, even if he tells you he'll change, you should still dump him. Because he's not going to change, except to adjust the way he grooms and manipulates you. This is not a good guy. He won't play fair.
/r/ExRedPill04/09/23 03:01 AM
11

Start sending him good feminist pages on instagram like sommertothill or many others that have scientific studies info referenced if you can be bothered. Highly unlikely it will help though. It sounds like he's too far gone to be reasoned with and he'll probably just respond with gaslighting, or by temporarily hiding his red pill ways until she's farther along in the grooming process and easier to manipulate.
/r/ExRedPill04/09/23 02:58 AM
43

He's sending you videos to "teach you what men feel like," meaning (presumably) what he feels like. And what he feels like, apparently, is that you ought to submit to him, and are inherently inferior to him because you are a woman. You should end things. You can't reason someone out of prejudice this bad, and you can't persuade someone to see you as human. He may be sweet now, but that won't last. He's telling you what his ultimate goal is: to date a woman he can control.
/r/ExRedPill03/09/23 11:54 PM
5

"Madonna" here refers to the Virgin Mary, not Madonna the singer. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Madonna_(art)
/r/ExRedPill03/09/23 11:33 PM
11

I do think that relationships for Men have to prove themselves to Women, by paying for dates, being charming towards her, being interesting etc My dating life has never looked anything like this. Allow me to suggest that your experience is not universal, particularly among those of us who are less conservative than you. I split the bill when dating people, and both of us make an effort to be interesting to each other. I can't imagine why you think women, even in conservative circles, don't need …
/r/ExRedPill03/09/23 11:06 PM
17

Humans are expected to improve themselves. I don't know why you think only men face societal pressure to grow and mature over time. Or stay in shape, for that matter. understand that they are a lot more replaceable than their woman partner is Humans are not replaceable or interchangeable. I don't know anyone in a serious relationship who sees their partner that way. People generally divorce for actual reasons. Not simply because they could get a new one if they wanted to. Divorce is a major uphe…
/r/ExRedPill03/09/23 11:00 PM
22

having men do womens duties and men do womens duties When you start with the premise that there are "men's duties" and "women's duties," you're already setting the stage for an antagonistic relationship between genders. Seems like a gender war is occurring. Only among those who want to see the world in such reductive terms. While I think the way we construct gender is academically interesting, it is only one lens through which to view the world, and it doesn't account for the full diversity and …
/r/ExRedPill03/09/23 10:32 PM
30

When it comes to relationships, apart from childcare, I feel like men face a higher burden. Yet our feelings are not necessarily true. How do you assess something being a higher burden? How do you compare, over the course of years and through changing life circumstances, different types of effort, different types of friction and stress, different types of benefits? They are individual, and it is completely different in every couple. It's neither helpful nor reasonable to make generalizations lik…
/r/ExRedPill03/09/23 09:54 PM
9

Isolating yourself is a terrible idea and will likely be counterproductive. To unlearn misogyny, you need to be around people so that you see that all the misogynistic things you used to believe about women aren't actually real. You need to have positive relationships with people of all genders, and feel connected to your community, because a sense of connection with your community is an inoculation against the bitterness, resentment, and objectification that drives misogyny. If you want to rela…
/r/ExRedPill31/08/23 09:44 PM
1

This is suspect to me, because at least for me as a woman, it feels the exact same way whether my partner wears a condom or not. I wonder if she was trying to get pregnant. Yes, you should wear a condom. It protects you against pregnancy and STIs. It's reckless not to. Here is a resource that can give you some great information on sex and sexual health: https://www.scarleteen.com/ When you have a new partner, you should (a) both get tested for STIs before you become intimate and (b) use condoms.…
/r/ExRedPill31/08/23 09:26 PM
3

Please use birth control next you're in a relationship. It's reckless to do otherwise, especially if you're not ready to be a father. Is there any reason you weren't? Pregnancy is highly likely if you aren't.
/r/ExRedPill31/08/23 08:36 PM
4

I have no idea; all I know about her is a couple of paragraphs. I know nothing about her prior relationships with her family of origin, her peers, her past partners, or anyone else in her life. There are a million reasons why people might develop this behaviour, but ultimately it doesn't really matter. Regardless of its origin, you still shouldn't put up with someone treating you badly. (I learned this lesson the hard way.)
/r/ExRedPill31/08/23 09:47 AM
4

I guess I was blinded by love I understand. I've been there. It's a lot easier to see these things from outside of the relationship, or in retrospect, than from inside of it as it's currently happening. I hope your next relationship goes a lot better.
/r/ExRedPill31/08/23 09:42 AM
1

Yeah, definitely a very different environment from mine.
/r/ExRedPill30/08/23 07:20 PM
4

We have no idea what birth control measures they were taking, and I wouldn't want to assume. All birth control methods can sometimes fail. I agree that he allowed her to take advantage of him. I don't know if that's because he has extraordinary trouble with boundaries, or because she pressured and guilt-tripped him into doing it. Possibly a bit of both. I think we can have compassion for him in either case. Asserting boundaries against someone who's trying hard to push past them is difficult and…
/r/ExRedPill30/08/23 07:19 PM
2

You grew up in a very different environment from mine. In my case, it wouldn't have been about "crossing" my parents; it would simply never have occurred to them to "forbid" me from dating someone. That was really controlling of him. Not really an okay way to treat your kid, in my view. It's important to respect people's autonomy.
/r/ExRedPill30/08/23 07:07 PM
4

Yeah, but I don't think it helps to get into "why did this person go back to someone who wasn't treating them right." There are a lot of reasons people have trouble ending negative relationships. My main beef with OP is that he's casting aspersions on all women based on the actions of one particular woman. That's irrational and wildly unfair. He had toxic and misogynistic prejudices about women to begin with, so when faced with one somewhat shitty woman, his response was not, "Wow, she was shitt…
/r/ExRedPill30/08/23 07:02 PM
3

Your dad forbade you from dating someone? Yikes. I expect on dates that we will each pay for ourselves. I agree it was lousy of him to order something vastly more expensive and then expect to split the bill in half; normally people would get separate bills. But I would never go on a date expecting someone else to pay the bill entirely.
/r/ExRedPill30/08/23 06:55 PM
5

I imagine there is more than one way to be a gold digger, but anyway, she's toxic whether she's purposefully conning him or not. You don't treat people you love by calling them names and guilt-tripping them. Presumably the pregnancy was accidental. It's not always possible to avoid pregnancy before marriage; all birth control methods can fail.
/r/ExRedPill30/08/23 06:49 PM
3

She slept with other guys after they broke up, not before. Why would you assume that your partner being pregnant means it's probably someone else's baby? That's a dumb assumption to make. You know that having sex with your partner can lead to babies, right? "All of a sudden she was pregnant" — I mean, yes, that is how pregnancy works.
/r/ExRedPill30/08/23 06:44 PM
6

There's nothing wrong with being a SAHP, but there is something wrong with pressuring your partner to pay for things they definitely can't afford, while also refusing to contribute financially. Not to mention calling them a loser for their job, but refusing to get one yourself.
/r/ExRedPill30/08/23 06:38 PM
10

She called you a loser, demanded you pay for things neither of you could afford, blew hot and cold, intentionally told you about guys she was sleeping with post-breakup just to hurt you,* initially refused to return your belongings for no reason ... yes, she's toxic. Do not date her again. *Like there's nothing wrong with rebounding if that's what you emotionally need to do, but you don't rub it in your ex's face just to make them feel jealous/hurt. That's incredibly immature.
/r/ExRedPill30/08/23 06:35 PM
50

One and a half years ago I made a female friend. All my friends prior were male. You've only ever had one female friend but you've somehow decided we're all exactly the same as this woman? The fact that she expected you to pay for everything doesn't mean that all women do. There are men in the world who chronically mooch off others too, and somehow grift their way through life on other people's dime. If you don't want to pay for everything, next time you shouldn't date someone who expects you to…
/r/ExRedPill30/08/23 05:47 PM
23

I do believe it started out as something positive I don't. What makes you think so? As far as I can tell, it's always been a misogynistic method for manipulating people.
/r/ExRedPill29/08/23 09:13 PM
6

I'm really glad you're getting out. You're clearly a decent person who deserves better than the shredded relationships that TRP will bring you and your loved ones. Surround yourself with positive content so that you won't have as much room for RP stuff in your brain anymore. If you're struggling to deal with these RP thoughts, please reach out to a therapist; they can help you learn to let go of these thoughts and replace them with healthier ones.
/r/ExRedPill29/08/23 12:13 AM
23

My friends say I should leave the relationship now, but I love this man and see the good in him. This doesn't matter. You can always "see the good in people" because everyone has at least a few good traits. We don't leave people because they are 100% evil; no one is. We leave them because they are treating us poorly and without respect. Being treated like that shreds a person's psyche and leaves them a wreck. He is treating you like garbage and you need to protect yourself before he hurts you ev…
/r/ExRedPill29/08/23 12:09 AM
10

What's the point of dating someone? If you value literally nothing about women, other than their ability to act as a status symbol, I guess there isn't one really. You can just stop at any time. Alternatively, you can think about how interacting with and hearing the perspectives of people other than yourself can enrich your experience of the world. Do you have friends? What do you value about them?
/r/ExRedPill28/08/23 02:24 AM
14

I mean, you can disembark from that ship at any time.
/r/ExRedPill27/08/23 10:24 PM
13

What ship, exactly?
/r/ExRedPill27/08/23 04:45 PM
41

What do men want from women? What a bizarre thing to ask. There are billions of men and they want different things from their relationships with women. The closest explanation that makes sense is validation Relying on others for validation is usually a bad idea. And it's not really fair to women you date to see them just as means to boost your own ego.
/r/ExRedPill27/08/23 06:01 AM
15

He thought he had totally kept it under wraps, but between coworker conversations he'd start with other men and how he interacted with women in the work place, he was completely incompatible with a professional environment. This doesn't surprise me. Redpill men will always insist that no one in the rest of their life knows they have these beliefs, so their failures in various domains cannot possibly be attributed to their personality ... but few people are good enough at hiding that they can com…
/r/ExRedPill26/08/23 09:10 PM
19

I’m curious to know if she already knows…or knew i was tense. Or remembers me. Probably not. You've hardly ever talked to her and she probably isn't thinking about you at all. If you want her to be, you have to actually strike up a conversation with her. If you don't want her to be, continue on as before, and rest assured that she's almost certainly not paying any especial attention to you, nor does she know you are attracted to her. She can't read your mind.
/r/ExRedPill25/08/23 08:07 AM
17

actual respectable decent Women I don't really recognize a concept whereby only some people are "respectable." All humans are worthy of basic respect. I am troubled that you think otherwise.
/r/ExRedPill24/08/23 10:53 PM
7

Honestly? I'm a big sucker, so I've foolishly tried several times to be the woman who could heal a hurt man, and it has always turned out very badly for me. My advice is to cut your losses. He won't change until he wants to. Dump him, tell him it's because of his toxic jealousy, mind games, and redpill misogyny, and suggest that he see a therapist. Then cut him off before he takes you down with him. Even a casual relationship with someone like this can fuck you up. That's the most sensible thing…
/r/ExRedPill24/08/23 01:20 AM
3

Should I download TikTok and screech a bit more? Will that ward off red pillers, kind of like garlic for vampires? Please advise.
/r/ExRedPill23/08/23 11:36 PM
1

Yeah. I care a medium amount about height, and not even slightly about height or income. But mostly I care about intelligence, shared values, kindness, communication skills, things like that. Right now I have a wonderful man. He isn't very tall, nor does he have much income. He's shy, reserved, unassuming. But he's the sweetest man I've ever met, with a quiet intelligence, and he's exactly the man I want. Best relationship of my life so far. The shallow things don't matter all that much.
/r/ExRedPill23/08/23 11:29 PM
11

This exactly. Thank you.
/r/ExRedPill23/08/23 09:09 PM
31

barely ever do we bring up how women are clueless about how the male mind works. I know exactly what is going on as do most other males reading this post. The exact cause is this a lot of women are perfectly capable of loving a guy deeply without ever being aroused by him where as they may get aroused by a dude who they don't feel comfortable around (for many reasons). You say the problem is that women are clueless about the "male mind" (apparently you think all men have the same mind), but actu…
/r/ExRedPill23/08/23 09:08 PM
15

Are women afraid that the "30-yo-wall-theory" needs to be stopped? Not really, this mostly isn't a real thing. Dating doesn't dry up when you hit 30. I'm just scared for young girls. I'm scared they'll be emotionally (or even physically) abused by red pill men. TRP teaches men to be abusive to women and the fact that it's spreading scares me. And I don't want to see this toxic misogyny normalized in the general discourse. I don't want it to inform policy. It's a disaster.
/r/ExRedPill23/08/23 08:46 PM
17

The red pill didn’t make them abusive, the fact that they are abusive is what attracted them to the red pill. This may be true in some cases, but we also see really young and impressionable teenage boys learn to resent women this way. I think it actively causes and normalizes hatred against women.
/r/ExRedPill23/08/23 08:00 PM
3

And the attributes they deem valuable are completely the opposite of what I consider actually valuable. Absolutely this. Red pillers couldn't be more wrong about what "high value" means to me.
/r/ExRedPill23/08/23 12:32 AM
3

it’s the cringe of red pill lingo I don't like to use it for that reason. I don't buy into their ideology and I won't use their dumb jargon.
/r/ExRedPill22/08/23 10:40 PM
2

No problem, it's hard to convey tone online. 🙂
/r/ExRedPill22/08/23 10:08 PM
8

They will actually only get the bottom of the barrel women with low self esteem. High value women with standards won’t put up with their bull. I'm cringing a bit at "high-value women," because I don't think having low self-esteem makes someone objectively less valuable. Men don’t listen, they can only learn the hard way. But many of them don't learn. They only become more insular and entrenched in their misogynistic views, and then gather in internet spaces to infect the minds of younger men. Co…
/r/ExRedPill22/08/23 10:01 PM
3

Ah, fair enough, I read your comment as you endorsing those values, but I'm glad to hear you're not. Carry on then!
/r/ExRedPill22/08/23 09:52 PM
3

so women follow and stop being whores Have you thought about not slut-shaming and throwing around misogynistic slurs?
/r/ExRedPill22/08/23 09:22 PM
5

You've given almost no specifics in this post, so it's really hard to know how to helpfully respond. What "failures" have you had in the past? What tenets of the red pill are you finding increasingly attractive? We can't help you find "other options" for your position if we don't know what your position is.
/r/ExRedPill22/08/23 08:57 PM
2

Why do you need a car just to make small talk with the women you work with? I don't understand.
/r/ExRedPill22/08/23 08:51 PM
11

Feminine women NEED to be cherished in order to truly form an attachment. FFS stop making generalizations about nearly 4 billion people, most of whom you've never met.
/r/ExRedPill22/08/23 08:46 PM
9

What's confusing?
/r/ExRedPill22/08/23 07:36 PM
8

Basically i don’t talk to women anywhere, i don’t have a car so i feel i can’t date them. Do you need to feel ready to date in order to simply talk to women?
/r/ExRedPill22/08/23 07:26 PM
13

No, the equivalent of sex for women is ... sex. The line about attention probably comes from the fact that misogynists like to dismiss women as being "attention seeking," even though men also seek attention plenty of the time. People vary in how much attention they seek; I don't think it's a gendered phenomenon. It's also fine and normal to want attention sometimes, for people of all genders.
/r/ExRedPill21/08/23 02:16 PM
2

No. Why would you assume this? I am pretty tired of redpill men telling me what I feel, instead of asking and listening.
/r/ExRedPill20/08/23 01:47 PM
20

I genuinely feel horrible that im not younger. I've found dating in my 30s to be just as easy as dating in my 20s. Out in the real world, among people who aren't trying to make women feel worthless for sport, the idea that women become undesirable at 25/30/35/whatever simply isn't true. You'll do just fine. But you may want to detox from redpill content so that it doesn't infest your mind so much. I keep asking myself if him and i would end up working out. If he is deep into redpill content, you…
/r/ExRedPill20/08/23 12:16 PM
1

How come they look at my balding hari when i speak to them. Generally people look at someone's head when talking to them. How come they have closed off body language and try to excuse themselves? It's possible you are exhibiting some behaviour that makes people uncomfortable, but that's something you can improve on. It's not genetic destiny. You say you don't have any female friends. Do you have male friends? If you do, a good place to start would be to find a few people you trust to be honest (…
/r/ExRedPill20/08/23 03:54 AM
2

Oh, that parsing of his comment makes sense. Thank you. To be clear, the red pill idea that all women are only attracted to the same tiny subset of men is just nonsense. I find many people attractive. I must say, it is extremely frustrating, as a woman, to have random red pill men who've never met me try to tell me what I like and want. Don't make assumptions about people. It's very rude.
/r/ExRedPill20/08/23 03:38 AM
12

What’s some good topics to talk about and fun places to explore as friends. Why don't you ask her? We've never met her and can't predict what she would like. There isn't some magic set of things that all women enjoy; we are all different. Part of developing a relationship with someone is seeing them as a unique individual and getting to know their specific interests and tendencies. Treating her like she is some kind of generic woman is exactly the wrong way to get closer to someone.
/r/ExRedPill19/08/23 09:06 PM
6

Some peopel were just not born to be genetically compatible with other people. And on top of that i fit every single conventionally unattractive metric in western soceity: balding at 20, short, fat, ethnic, ugly fact, you get the deal. It doesn't really sound like you've left the red pill. Leaving the red pill means recognizing that women are all distinct individuals with varying tastes, and therefore your particular traits don't necessarily doom you in dating. You just have to find your niche. …
/r/ExRedPill19/08/23 02:56 PM
2

A small subset of men who will harass you if you compliment them, you mean? Well, it's definitely enough of them that we learn not to do it.
/r/ExRedPill19/08/23 02:38 AM
3

I absolutely think many men are attractive and worthy of compliments! I just don't want to imply anything and attract attention to myself because that can go very badly. I try to maintain boundaries and avoid commenting on appearance. With someone I'm actually dating, I love giving out tons of compliments. But in most other contexts I keep those thoughts to myself.
/r/ExRedPill19/08/23 02:15 AM
1

Absolutely, this is why I never compliment men I'm not dating. It's a dangerous game.
/r/ExRedPill19/08/23 01:47 AM
2

Pretty much all the compliments I've ever gotten from women were from friends and significant others. People who see you regularly enough to notice when you change something or put extra effort it. Or perhaps: people who trust that you won't take the compliment as an invitation to harass them. That is mainly why I never compliment men I'm not dating.
/r/ExRedPill19/08/23 01:46 AM
2

Regarding compliments from women in general, I assumed women never complimented men, especially on their looks. Yes, we learn early that complimenting men on their looks has a fair chance of leading to harassment.
/r/ExRedPill19/08/23 01:42 AM
1

We women learn early on that some men will take any compliment, no matter how bland, as a signal of sexual interest, and then pester us relentlessly / bitterly accuse us of "leading them on" / pressure us / get angry / make our lives more difficult. That's why you're not getting random compliments from women. It doesn't mean we don't find you attractive; we just don't want to deal with all the bullshit that often comes from complimenting men. I tell my partner that he's handsome every single day…
/r/ExRedPill19/08/23 01:19 AM
3

You might want to try posting in r/incelexit as well.
/r/ExRedPill18/08/23 04:25 PM
3

If you can actually find three people in the entire world who are willing to have sex with you, have at it.
/r/ExRedPill17/08/23 10:41 PM
50

They all have different world views and values. A lot of them aren't seeking money either. I'm glad you've now realized that women are normal human beings.
/r/ExRedPill16/08/23 09:43 AM
1

We can't know what's in her mind. From your description, I don't see anything that strongly suggests she was interested in you, but who knows. If you're really interested, you could always go back to the store, see if she's there, buy something, and mention to her casually, "Hey, I didn't get a chance to say bye on my last day. I'd love to keep in touch. Here's my [number/email/social media account/etc.] if you ever want to get coffee or something." That puts the ball in her court if she's inter…
/r/ExRedPill16/08/23 01:19 AM
2

Ah, that makes sense. I'm sorry he's turned out like this. That must be very worrying for you.
/r/ExRedPill15/08/23 06:34 AM
15

His girlfriend didn't have a threesome; he turned down a threesome with two other people. Why do you see it as bad?
/r/ExRedPill14/08/23 06:09 PM
12

Oh calm down, what other people do in the bedroom doesn't even affect you.
/r/ExRedPill14/08/23 06:03 PM
21

Why are you friends with this guy? He sounds terrible and abusive.
/r/ExRedPill14/08/23 06:02 PM
13

People who give unsolicited weight loss advice are jerks. Forget about him, he's an entire used car dealership's worth of red flags. Anyone who's deep into red pill ideology is effectively undateable; there's no way you can believe all that stuff and be a healthy and respectful partner to someone.
/r/ExRedPill14/08/23 12:59 AM
8

A modern repackaging of tired misogynistic tropes.
/r/ExRedPill14/08/23 12:11 AM
2

Oh, that's really a sweet thing to say! I'm very glad to hear my comments were helpful to somebody. Over there it feels like you're arguing into the void. Thanks for this. ❤️
/r/ExRedPill12/08/23 11:24 PM
1

Just because someone had an opinion that came from redpill, does not mean they're redpill. I'm not entirely sure what you mean by this. But for my purposes — a desire to protect myself from toxicity — whatever distinction you're making is irrelevant. If they currently have redpill opinions, I don't want them in my life. It's just not worth the stress.
/r/ExRedPill11/08/23 09:51 AM
10

The couple weeks I wasted engaging with the degenerates there took a noticeable toll on my own mental health. Same. I couldn't take it anymore and had to stop. So much gaslighting and toxicity. It really started getting to me.
/r/ExRedPill11/08/23 03:26 AM
18

I stayed for a while in a very negative relationship, but mostly not because of low self-esteem. I mean, my self-esteem wasn't fantastic after a couple years of this relationship, but that wasn't really why I stayed. Rather, I'm a sucker for a sob story and thus easily manipulatable. I find it hard to break up with people and I'm pretty easy to guilt-trip. I made the mistake of thinking he was acting in good faith so I ought to give him more chances. I've learned my lesson now. Never again.
/r/ExRedPill10/08/23 03:14 AM
4

100% this. It's classic coercive control and abuse.
/r/ExRedPill10/08/23 02:58 AM
36

Never underestimate the degree to which shitty people are able to manipulate you into staying with them.
/r/ExRedPill10/08/23 02:53 AM
27

Why are you still with a man who insults you and sees you as being "low worth"? Dump him yesterday. He is verbally abusive and there's nothing you can do to make him change. There are tons of wonderful, loving men out there who will treat you with kindness and respect. Don't put up with this shit. It's not okay and it's going to eat away at you until you are a shell of your former self. Please, please dump him. Edit: And to be clear, this isn't just garden-variety shitty behaviour. The things he…
/r/ExRedPill10/08/23 01:57 AM
6

So glad you did a rigorous survey of one bisexual woman before concluding that most bisexual women prefer men.
/r/ExRedPill09/08/23 02:38 AM
3

I think it has more to do with the fact that there are vastly more straight men than gay or bisexual women, so if you're a bisexual woman, most of the people who want to date you are men. Just on a numbers basis, we would expect bisexual women to date more men than women, and thus their most recent relationship is more likely to be with a man.
/r/ExRedPill08/08/23 11:09 PM
12

You say all this: she is much more into men than women, and has zero desire to be in a relationship with a woman she wants to be a wife and a mother and despises infidelity of any kind I have zero concern she would want to explore women in the future. So what exactly are you worried about? And why would you base your opinion of her on a stereotype, rather than on the actual, direct evidence you have of her values and character?
/r/ExRedPill08/08/23 04:12 AM
3

I'm sorry things didn't work out with her. I hope she's happy and I hope you'll eventually meet someone else. Sending hugs.
/r/ExRedPill05/08/23 09:59 AM
3

I don't know that I want the government to develop policies around my sex life. How is that something within the public realm that governments ought to concern themselves with?
/r/ExRedPill04/08/23 09:58 PM
2

How would you address this on a societal level?
/r/ExRedPill04/08/23 08:03 PM
1

I think it can be very important for many people on a personal level. I'm not sure it's something we need to think about on a societal level; it's within the realm of personal matters that public policy can't really do much about.
/r/ExRedPill04/08/23 12:16 PM
3

I think you are overestimating how shitty men are. Most people of all genders care about their partners and want a genuine, fulfilling connection with the right person. You seem to feel alone in wanting this, but you're really not. The way you're feeling isn't weird; it's normal for humans to care about other humans. You're doing just fine. If the majority of men around you see women as things rather than people, that tells me you've accidentally fallen in with a really toxic crowd. I encourage …
/r/ExRedPill03/08/23 12:50 PM
1

Yeah, anything that makes people pissed off tends to get a lot of views but that doesn't represent the majority of people. It's just that pleasant discussions of normal relationships aren't very interesting because most people's lives are pretty boring. Like I have a very nice man! He's such a sweetheart. But I've never made a video about the mundane details of our stable, emotionally healthy relationship.
/r/ExRedPill02/08/23 02:14 AM
2

No, it's older than social media, although I'm sure social media propagates it. Look, there are shitty people of all genders who shame perfectly nice people for no good reason. There are women who say mean things about men and men who say mean things about women. Of course you can find individual examples. But that's not most people. Most people want to be around friendly people who treat them well, and most people are not assholes to nice people for no good reason. Just be your regular self. If…
/r/ExRedPill01/08/23 10:18 PM
5

You seem to buy into the red pill idea that women are shallow and greedy, and the way to attract them is to be extremely rich and movie-star handsome. That's not what this sub is about.
/r/ExRedPill01/08/23 10:41 AM
4

I don't know where the stereotype that women prefer assholes came from. Most people I know want to date people who are kind and considerate. Certainly I do. Be yourself. By doing so, you'll attract partners who are actually compatible with you. Pretending to be someone you're not is a short-sighted dating strategy; usually it just sets you up for heartbreak. You don't have to be mean to anyone, and you shouldn't. It's deeply unethical. I get the feeling that you're someone who cares about treati…
/r/ExRedPill01/08/23 10:37 AM
8

You know you're on the ex red pill sub, right?
/r/ExRedPill01/08/23 10:21 AM
1

I don't know. As someone who's both absent-minded and often overwhelmed by life, I tend to be very forgiving of people who flake or are late. Life's hard and we're all struggling. I'm not perfect either. I think it's nice to extend people a bit of grace.
/r/ExRedPill31/07/23 09:22 AM
1

Interesting! The only scenes that give me full-body cringe are ones where the characters are misunderstanding each other in an embarrassing way. I can't watch comedies based around that gimmick, they're so horribly cringy.
/r/ExRedPill31/07/23 09:16 AM
1

Of course sex is important, but that doesn't prevent you from being platonic friends with women other than your partner. Otherwise, respecting familial values, woman as man should do what they want to. This sentence is not parseable. What are you trying to say?
/r/ExRedPill27/07/23 02:50 PM
1

What does Hollywood have to do with people's friendships? I think it is a waste of time. Ah, because I suppose you see women as worthless for things other than sex?
/r/ExRedPill27/07/23 11:42 AM
1

Your loss, I guess, if you have excluded half the people in the world from your friend group, and drastically limited the diversity of perspectives you are regularly exposed to.
/r/ExRedPill27/07/23 11:26 AM
2

Man and woman can‘t be just friends. And yet there are tons of healthy, platonic friendships between men and women all over the world. It sounds like you lack emotional maturity and that's why you find normal healthy friendships to be difficult.
/r/ExRedPill27/07/23 10:39 AM
4

Yeah, honestly, a man having no female friends is a red flag. Normal, rational, healthy people can be friends with people of any gender.
/r/ExRedPill27/07/23 10:32 AM
3

Personally, her mating value drops to china (very deep). What a disgusting thing to say. I can see why women don't want to be friends with you.
/r/ExRedPill27/07/23 10:28 AM
2

Now that i’m on no fap seeing triggers everywhere is like a punch in the stomach. Solution: don't do nofap. It's a dumb cult. Masturbation is normal and healthy. Take the edge off your sexual frustration before you go insane. It will help you relate to women as whole entire people.
/r/ExRedPill27/07/23 10:22 AM
3

But at the same time, I understand that viewing personality as more important than looks doesn't make him a misogynist. I didn't say it did. My objection is that he's proposing to mistreat women now because he feels angry at completely different women from the past — who, I might add, never actually wronged him, but simply did not give him their sexual attention. If a woman said that she distrusted men who only became interested in her after she became thinner, I doubt you'd call her a man hater…
/r/ExRedPill24/07/23 05:03 AM
3

Yay, I love sharing new words with people! And learning new ones myself! Words are the best.
/r/ExRedPill22/07/23 06:58 PM
5

Yeah, I wonder that too. Almost everyone has faced rejection and disappointment in various areas of their life, but most of us don't become bitter and hateful. Like I can see how repeated rejections, and no success, would be more upsetting than occasional rejection. But personally, I would be more likely to blame myself than other people. In any event, it's pretty irrational to hate four billion people because a few of them rejected you. (If only men weren't so silly and emotional all the time!)
/r/ExRedPill22/07/23 06:52 AM
14

It does sound like your counsellor is really bad. I've experienced both good and bad therapists. The bad ones were useless, but when you can find a good one, the process can be really helpful. I wouldn't necessarily give up on it just because you've encountered some therapists who aren't very good. A better idea is to try a new therapist. Of course, it's up to you.
/r/ExRedPill22/07/23 04:48 AM
29

If it's just personality that matters, why not try dating men? There are many gay men with lovely personalities. Most people want to have sex with people they find sexually attractive. Isn't that true of you too? Now, if those same women didn't give a fig for me before, why should I value/not lie/ not play then? Sounds like you're looking for a specious excuse to treat people poorly. Don't. You're still an asshole if you treat people badly; justifying abusive behaviour because "women are shallow…
/r/ExRedPill22/07/23 04:02 AM
4

College is just high schopp 2.0 Thankfully, that wasn't my experience. But I suppose it depends on the school and the social group you fall into within the school.
/r/ExRedPill21/07/23 09:37 PM
3

So glad to hear this! Red pill content isn't just harmful to women; it's deeply ableist and denigrates neurodivergence. I worry about all the young men who get caught up in it. It's so profoundly harmful and negative.
/r/ExRedPill20/07/23 01:15 PM
1

Ah, that makes sense. Yeah, it's really puzzling to me that there are still people who think this way.
/r/ExRedPill19/07/23 08:28 AM
3

even if it doesn't represent the majority, it's still much too common. Interesting. I guess it depends on your social circle, but I can't think of anyone I know who thinks like this.
/r/ExRedPill19/07/23 06:07 AM
2

Why is your therapist talking about his worldview with you? That's not his job and it's unprofessional. This guy is a giant fucking red flag. Please ask to switch counsellors; it sounds like this one's no good.
/r/ExRedPill19/07/23 03:40 AM
3

I think giving up for now is the right call. If he's not ready to listen, there isn't much you can do, and continuing to engage with him about this would take a huge toll on you. I hope that one day he finds his way out of this creepy cult. I'm sorry you lost a friend to this. Sending hugs.
/r/ExRedPill19/07/23 03:32 AM
6

I think people who are socially alienated are highly susceptible to the red pill. Autistic people who are socially isolated (as many are, because our society is ableist) can therefore find themselves falling into this sinkhole. And I think social connection is the cure. It sounds like you're having trouble making connections with people. Perhaps you could look for some other neurodivergent people who may be more accepting? That would be a good place to start, I think. You might also want to seek…
/r/ExRedPill19/07/23 03:26 AM
3

I expect to split all expenses, unless there's a very good reason not to (e.g., one partner loses their job). because I’m in college and don’t make a lot of money I don’t deserve love because she will not be in her “feminine” energy Of course you deserve love! I don't know what "feminine energy" means but it sounds like bullshit. If all the women you know expect men to pay for everything, diversify your social network.
/r/ExRedPill19/07/23 03:14 AM
2

Yes, this is why I never let men pay for early dates.
/r/ExRedPill19/07/23 03:05 AM
4

It isn't true that 27% of men are virgins. https://datepsychology.com/are-27-of-young-men-really-virgins-and-why/ RP content creators lie to you because it's profitable for them. Stop watching that nonsense, it's a really warped and twisted view of reality that will just make you depressed. I'm sorry to hear about your disability. COVID has left me disabled too. It's wreaked havoc on a lot of people. But disabled people find love all the time. (My own mother is disabled in much the same way you …
/r/ExRedPill18/07/23 05:05 PM
3

I'm so sorry you have to deal with all that bullshit. It's not fair or right. I hope one day we'll live in a more compassionate world where people aren't bullied because of their bodies.
/r/ExRedPill18/07/23 04:05 AM
3

But it is not wrong Pretty sure it's wrong.
/r/ExRedPill18/07/23 03:50 AM
6

It's so disgusting. Leave fat people alone. They've already faced a lifetime of cruelty, bullying, and discrimination. Try treating them like human beings for once, and respect their basic dignity. Their body is none of your business and they don't owe it to anyone to look a certain way.
/r/ExRedPill18/07/23 03:21 AM
3

So ... not an example of someone being arrested for "false harassment."
/r/ExRedPill16/07/23 09:31 PM
1

falsely arrested for harrassment Do you have an example of that ever happening?
/r/ExRedPill16/07/23 08:56 PM
9

I don't know whether it's "normal" to feel this way, but I'll definitely suggest that it isn't productive. Try not to dwell on other people's lives too much. Just focus on your own life.
/r/ExRedPill16/07/23 10:26 AM
9

I'm not sure if they are honest. Why would you believe sketchy red pill influencers trying to make money from clickbait, over actual people you know and presumably trust? There's nothing more infuriating, as a woman, than saying what I feel, think, and want, and having some red pill dude tell me that I'm wrong about my own feelings, because Andrew Tate says so. Don't be that guy. That's the height of arrogance, and shows so much disdain for women that I don't know why you would even want to date…
/r/ExRedPill16/07/23 09:36 AM
1

You only "feel like that" because that's red pill propaganda. Have you actually asked women? Most of us will tell you that we only date people we're attracted to. "She's not actually attracted to him" is the red pill's built-in excuse to ignore the vast amount of data from the real world that doesn't conform to their theory of dating. It's not actually derived from asking actual women how they feel about their partner.
/r/ExRedPill16/07/23 07:04 AM
11

You only "feel like that" because that's red pill propaganda. Have you actually asked women? Most of us will tell you that we only date people we're attracted to. "She's not actually attracted to him" is the red pill's built-in excuse to ignore the vast amount of data from the real world that doesn't conform to their theory of dating. It's not actually derived from asking actual women how they feel about their partner.
/r/ExRedPill16/07/23 07:04 AM
6

Yes, this. It's not objectification to feel sexually aroused by someone. That's normal. It's objectification to see them as only a sex object. I have never met a woman who wants to be seen as only a sex object. Wearing revealing clothes doesn't mean you want people to forget that you're actually a complex human.
/r/ExRedPill16/07/23 04:53 AM
5

Same. Sometimes my partner is tired and not in the mood, which is a normal thing for a human to feel like. This has been the case in most of the relationships I've been in. Men don't all want to have sex 24/7. And I've had people turn me down for sex too — I mean turn me down altogether, as opposed to just "I'm tired, let's do it tomorrow" from a partner. Which is also fine. Not everyone is going to be into me. Not every man wants to have sex with every woman. It sucks to lump all men into a buc…
/r/ExRedPill16/07/23 04:50 AM
6

It's bad advice to see women as human beings? Yikes, dude.
/r/ExRedPill16/07/23 04:38 AM
14

If this were true, how do the vast majority of men end up in relationships? Obviously regular people date each other all the time. If you haven't observed this, get off the internet and actually talk to people.
/r/ExRedPill16/07/23 04:33 AM
0

who dont even believe that they can have an orgasm during penetration is just sad That is true of a majority of women. It's not sad, it's just a biological fact stemming from the particular way their body is set up (the position of the internal structure of the clitoris and whether vaginal intercourse happens to stimulate it sufficiently).
/r/ExRedPill13/07/23 11:32 PM
5

It may be rare for you, but that doesn't mean it's rare generally. I have plenty of platonic male friends, and so do many women I know.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/23 11:26 PM
9

Like how the hell do y'all tell the difference between a guy who develops a crush on his friend (who is you), which is also very common, and a guy who was interested the whole time but started pretending to be your friend in the hopes that you'd change your mind? You can't, but it probably doesn't matter. What matters is how he acts when you make it clear you're not interested in him that way — either by accepting that graciously, or having a fit about it. Since most people are not terrible assh…
/r/ExRedPill13/07/23 11:25 PM
6

Of course! What a silly question! Any two people who enjoy each other's company can be friends. I have good friends of all genders.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/23 11:22 PM
5

Yes, this is the only reason I argue with people on the internet: it might help bystanders. Not just because it might convince a bystander on the fence not to fall for shitty propaganda, but also because if I'm arguing against someone who's demeaning a vulnerable group of people, I want those people to know that not everyone thinks that way. I labour under no delusions that it will change the mind of the person I'm arguing with. Best case scenario, maybe it plants a seed of doubt in their mind t…
/r/ExRedPill13/07/23 10:31 PM
1

This is right. It never ceases to amuse me, for example, that red pillers advise each other to get rich in order to attract women, and then complain that women are greedy gold-diggers. Yes, if the only thing you have going for you is money, you're going to attract mainly people who want you for your money. Especially if you're so misogynistic that no one actually enjoys being around you. The rest of us are busy dating people we actually like. If you want to find non-greedy women (i.e., most of u…
/r/ExRedPill13/07/23 10:39 AM
4

They'll make up all kinds of excuses. If you want to know whether to trust red pill theory, this is a very good reason to be suspicious of it. They have built their theory to include systematic ways of explaining away contrary evidence. Women are liars, so you can discount their experiences. Men who succeed despite not being what they consider "high value men" can be explained away by reference to "beta bux" — women are only with their for their resources (or else out of desperation), and are no…
/r/ExRedPill13/07/23 09:26 AM
8

It's only creepy, approaching women in public, if the woman doesn't find the man attractive. Nope. There are many good-looking men who are creepy.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/23 09:01 AM
13

I don't know what these videos are, but they sound stupid. No, of course you don't have to conform to gendered expectations to find love. There's infinite variety in what people find attractive. Wear whatever you like, and be proud that you have your own unique way of expressing yourself.
/r/ExRedPill07/07/23 05:48 AM
2

Wow, just wow. I'm so glad you got away from this abusive scumbag.
/r/ExRedPill06/07/23 01:15 AM
5

Yikes, that sounds exhausting.
/r/ExRedPill06/07/23 01:06 AM
1

Ah, so presumably no one has any friends in other fields either, because they also must have nothing to talk about.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/23 07:47 AM
–

Yes, absolutely pregnancy is much more risky.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/23 12:33 PM
1

Yeah, I agree. It doesn't hurt to advise people to exercise more; that's good for physical and mental health. But the notion that women only date the most attractive people, or if they date anyone else, it's solely for their money and they're not attracted to them? That does not line up with anything I have seen or done in the world. It's this weird bizarro world, and it's toxic not only towards women, who are evil entitled harpies as noted, but also towards most of the men who are in it. Basica…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/23 02:39 AM
1

Yeah, they never believe me either. My father is 5'3" and had numerous girlfriends before my mother. My brother of 5'2" and has had both girlfriends and casual partners. I have an ex who was 5'3" or so. I was his 40th sexual partner. And I've encountered so many other short men who have had partners. I can't actually think of any short men who haven't. But red pillers never want to hear anything that contradicts their narratives, even if it's good news (for the many short men around here who are…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/23 12:47 AM
10

I know a lot of highly educated overachievers. I did undergrad at a very prestigious university, and then I went to professional school. A lot of the people I went to school with are highly intelligent and are rising to the top in their careers as lawyers, doctors, scientists, engineers, politicians, consultants, financial analysts, academics, journalists, etc. The men in this category want educated women. They want someone they can relate to intellectually. They want someone who can add value t…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 11:52 PM
0

Ranging from 5'2" to 5'7" or so? (I don't really consider 5'7" to be all that short, but people around here seem to.)
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 09:48 PM
0

I'm not in the alternative scene, but most of the short guys I know (including partners, friends, and family) have found partners too. Then again, the men around here would be scornful of most of the people in my social circle (progressive, sex-positive) too.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 08:56 PM
–

I definitely know women who have gone off of hormonal birth control due to side effects.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 07:37 PM
–

Women can experience a lot of side effects from hormonal birth control, including serious ones like mood disorders, hypertension, and an increased risk of blood clots. They can also cause weight gain, loss of libido, headaches, nausea, etc. We want the option of having BC, but it'd be nice if there weren't so many side effects.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 07:04 PM
–

I mean, male birth control studies have literally been stopped after men dropped out for side effects like acne, weight gain, mood swings — all of which can be side effects of female birth control.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 07:00 PM
0

Boomers don’t care Generally an accurate statement. (My boomer parents excepted. They're rad.)
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 06:34 PM
6

I imagine people will just find a way around this. But I have an ex in VA and I am allowing myself to feel slightly pleased that he may be mildly inconvenienced.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 05:36 PM
2

No.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 05:03 PM
2

I haven't been hit on less in my 30s than my 20s. Don't worry about it too much. Out in the real world, away from incel corners of the internet, men will appreciate you long after you hit 25.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 04:36 PM
1

I haven't been hit on less in my 30s than my 20s. Don't worry about it too much. Out in the real world, away from incel corners of the internet, men will appreciate you long after you hit 25.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 04:34 PM
1

Hm, that is a thing I've never considered whether I should add to my bucket list. Fascinating idea!
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 03:34 PM
1

Even as someone whose hypothetical future children would benefit from legacy admissions, I think they're bullshit. (Disagree about AA but not in the mood to debate it.)
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 03:29 PM
4

Most teachers I know teach summer school in the summers. It's hard to make ends meet these days.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 03:27 PM
3

I mean this gently, but "I'm desperate so I guess I'll deign to date you" is unlikely to win over many women.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 03:17 PM
1

That's absolutely crazy. I had no idea you could get livestock so cheap. Poor things, they deserve better than to be sold for pocket change.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 02:42 PM
1

Obviously, because as we all know, every woman wants to have kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 01:58 PM
2

Ugh, boomers.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 01:54 PM
2

I'd like to think that I manufactured a little joy in a world that needs it badly. I feel the same way. Casual sex can be a nice thing in the right circumstances. 🙂
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 01:48 PM
1

I'm sorry you're getting this assumption. I can only imagine how frustrating it would be to get lumped in with them. I hope things turn around for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 01:43 PM
2

Obviously you should get the goat (and post pictures!).
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 01:40 PM
2

Why does that make you feel smug? I don't really see it as an accomplishment.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 01:38 PM
1

I hope you crumpled the offending piece of paper into a dickwad.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 01:30 PM
1

Probably because she walks on eggshells now. I wouldn't trade places with her, that's for sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 01:22 PM
1

How do you expect them to know they only want to be friends before they go on a date with you?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 01:20 PM
1

She's basically in a relationship with an abusive, jealous stalker, so no shit she misses the "freedom" of singlehood. Anyone would. I hope she eventually gets out of that relationship and dates a nice, normal man.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 01:07 PM
1

If you want to have sex and cannot have sex 99.999999% of the time it is because you actually genuinely hate women and are a piece of shit I haven't found this to be true at all. My current partner of 5 years, for example, had a great deal of difficulty dating because of his severe social anxiety. If I'd rejected him right off the bat for that, I would have missed out on the best partner I've ever had. I'm glad I approached this on a case-by-case basis and was open to dating the sweetest man I'v…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 01:04 PM
1

It's silly to reject someone for that without discerning why they have a lack of sexual experience. Is it because they have hateful views of women? That's bad, and would have terrible implications for a relationship. Is it because they're irritating? Ugh, no thanks. Are they deeply religious? Not compatible with me. Is it because they're just a shy person? I have no issue with that; they could still be a great partner. I can easily tell if someone is irritating or unattractive. I can ask whether…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 12:51 PM
3

One of the reasons it sits strangely with me is that virginity is a social construct, and you're not actually reducing the supply of women by having sex with them. You could fix your own problem by getting over your hang-ups about women who have had sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 12:05 PM
1

Perhaps overfishing, then complaining that there aren't enough fish? Or eating 80% of the cookies, and then complaining that there aren't more cookies?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 12:02 PM
1

I'm only half awake, so not off the top, but I'll think about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 11:57 AM
2

Why do women here think not being attracted to a high N count women in the context of a relationship is a logical decision? For much the same reason why I've logically come to the conclusion that it's silly to reject men for their lack of sexual experience: you are already attracted to them physically, and making sweeping assumptions about an individual's character based primarily on stereotypes is irrational. I try on purpose to be rational and fair in assessing others.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 11:55 AM
8

I'm not a man, but all else being equal, I'm pretty sure it's nicer to be born rich.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 11:43 AM
1

It's like littering in nice places and then complaining there are no more nice clean places. Imagine thinking your body is litter.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 11:39 AM
8

would show up at her place unannounced and even track her whereabouts. misses the freedom of being single You don't say.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 11:29 AM
3

Maybe 30 minutes to an hour? But I've never really timed it so that could be wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 11:25 AM
4

I would love to keep doing these things with you How does that constitute acting as though you owe them friendship? That just seems like an offer to be friends if you want. If you only want to be friends from the get go just tell me I am fine with it. But don't lead me on. What makes you think they were leading you on, as opposed to just not having decided yet?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 11:24 AM
20

if she agrees to your parameters off a one side opened relationship there is nothing immoral about this You lost me at "one-sided." Good luck getting a woman to agree to that. "But I worked for 10 years!" LOL Incidentally, I know a number of men who are handsome, rich, and charismatic. All of them want a partner who is more than just a trophy wife. They have intelligent, educated partners with careers. Their partners worked hard too. It actually sucks to marry someone who's dumb as a post and ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 11:07 AM
2

Why is your opinion about the value of sex more important than theirs?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 06:15 AM
2

I'm not going to tell anyone they have to be patient with others, but I've never minded when partners had less experience sexually or romantically.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 06:12 AM
5

I don't care what your preferences are; you can marry whoever you like. I care about the fact that in expressing your preferences, you're choosing to call women degrading names. And I feel concerned, hearing you use dehumanizing language, that you might mistreat people you are sexually involved with. You might (nonconsensually) degrade them. That I do care about.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 05:29 AM
1

Ah, that makes sense. Yeah, I also like hearing about people's past experiences and tend to ask follow-up questions about that just out of curiosity. I find it interesting to hear about how partners' experiences have shaped them. (I also have ADHD. Is that an ADHD thing?) Usually in return I'll talk about emotionally salient relationships I've been in and how they've affected me, but generally nobody asks for an actual number, and getting into every single one-off would be tedious.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 05:15 AM
1

Art is kind of nice if you know her taste in art well enough to predict what she'd like. It's nice to have a keepsake reminding you of special moments in your life.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 05:04 AM
1

I would definitely want a nice dinner. I think the 5-year anniversary of my partner's and my first non-platonic event is coming up in a couple weeks. Maybe I'll use that as an excuse to suggest getting a fancy restaurant meal. I do like me some fine dining.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 05:02 AM
1

As in the men you date talk about their own past, and then ask you about yours?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 04:54 AM
9

No, I would care either way. I also don't like when men disparage a woman as "prudish" or "frigid" simply because she doesn't feel comfortable having sex with him yet. I'm not worried about the effect of my sexual history on my ability to find partners. I know petulant men on the internet want to think we'll get our comeuppance for daring to have sex, but that's not really much of a thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 04:53 AM
2

What about those things do you think makes men more likely to care, out of curiosity?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 04:33 AM
2

Really? I've been asked only rarely. Most men I've encountered don't care.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 04:30 AM
11

Men: I want a non-whore for a wife Women: I want a husband who doesn't call people "whores."
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 04:27 AM
–

That's why I have a picture of my pussy as my profile pic.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 04:18 AM
1

Do you know her tastes in those things? Like could you predict what books, art, clothes, or shoes she might like?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 04:15 AM
1

Why do you see having sex with a sex worker as bad for them mentally?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 04:14 AM
1

No one wants a used up woman get over it. "Used up" is a puzzling expression, because having sex doesn't render someone unable to have sex in the future.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 04:07 AM
3

Why do you see it as weak?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 03:42 AM
2

What does she like?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 03:41 AM
1

Most people, regardless of gender, would appreciate having a partner who is kind and considerate, but I wouldn't really call that chivalry.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 03:38 AM
2

No, there's a huge difference between two people discussing and modifying a plan until it's acceptable to both parties, and one person giving up because they don't want to argue anymore. You keep saying they're the same, but they're not. They are completely different decision-making processes.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 12:58 AM
1

I mean, you can test for HIV, and men are generally going to know whether they used a form of birth control with exes.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/23 11:34 PM
3

I said roughly even. Obviously they're not going to be exactly even and nobody's tracking, but you'll have a general sense that one person usually gets their way if that's what consistently happens. Differences don't need to result in hierarchies.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/23 11:11 PM
17

Men try and drill into women that it’s impossible to be attractive over 30 Pretty sure this is only manosphere men.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/23 09:21 PM
8

Generally both people have to compromise and get not quite what they wanted, but something that they can live with. And over time, there will be one partner who does that the majority of the time. Why must that be the case? Why can't it be roughly even? I've literally never had a relationship where one partner was making most of the sacrifices and giving in most of the time. I wouldn't want that, even if I were the one with the upper hand.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/23 06:26 PM
9

The idea that consensus can be built in all cases is just woefully naive. Seems to work just fine in my relationships, as well as every adult relationship modelled for me growing up. one partner wants to move house and the other one doesn't. Both have valid reasons for their stand. So you discuss the underlying needs behind one partner wanting to move and the other not wanting to move, and find a compromise that addresses everyone's needs. Maybe the partner who wants to move thinks the house is …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/23 06:06 PM
8

your explanation is borderline paternalistic Yeah, in a way I think I find the paternalistic approach even more icky.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/23 05:28 PM
2

Well, if it's working for both of you, cool.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/23 05:18 PM
7

Sounds like you need to sit down and have a conversation: "I'm not comfortable with how you always put my needs in front on your own. Can we talk about that?"
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/23 05:13 PM
26

As far as I'm concerned, it's all icky. Units tend to operate better when someone has the ability to be the end all decision maker Units of two operate very well by consensus if you have even rudimentary conflict resolution skills. My suspicion is that all these men who want "submissive" partners simply lack the emotional maturity to manage conflict and want an arrangement where they can veto their way out of negotiating. Good on you if you can find that, I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/23 04:57 PM
0

And I find alpha male, chest beating hyper masculinity behavior obnoxious and childish. Same. Ick.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/23 04:38 PM
1

Congratulations!
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/23 04:31 PM
3

I like highly intelligent men with decently attractive faces and, ideally, facial hair. Broad shoulders are nice, don't care about height. I'll pass on men who act "dominant" or whatever. I don't need to be protected and provided for. I'm indifferent to ambition. Confidence is okay but not a requirement.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/23 04:22 PM
–

What if they disagree on something? then what, roll the dice? Then you engage in communication and conflict resolution like an adult. Grow up.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/23 02:40 PM
2

Sending you big hugs! I'm sorry things have been so hard for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/23 02:23 PM
1

Share that I have a partner you mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 09:45 PM
–

I'm not a man and I don't find long nails to be icky, but seriously though, how do people cope with them?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 09:06 PM
1

It's just regular OCD where the focus of the intrusive thoughts happens to be your relationship — much like you can have germ OCD or anything else. It's not in the DSM because it's just a subtype of OCD. But you're right, it is strange that people are using the name instead of just saying OCD.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 08:51 PM
9

We worry about this, but most likely everyone around you isn't thinking about you very much at all. Getting over my fear of being alone in a restaurant or at an event has been a really great thing. Would recommend.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 08:36 PM
2

He didn't say that anywhere in his post. He literally said: Basically, it’s women admitting to exactly what men have been claiming everywhere and exactly what women have been gaslighting men about claiming that “oh it must’ve been your fault that she left you no women leaves a perfect guy for no reason” when it’s clear that that happens all the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 08:29 PM
6

What are your hobbies? You will be reduced to dumpster diving on one of those horrid dating apps Yikes, dude.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 08:24 PM
2

I'm so happy to hear that you've been able to get your OCD under control, find fulfilling relationships, and support others. It sounds like you're a very compassionate and lovely person and I'm glad things are working out in your life. ❤️
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 08:19 PM
1

You literally said this wasn't a mental illness. Edit: I see you added to your comment. "I can't stop thinking about X" in the context of a subreddit about OCD almost certainly means something more than normal-person thoughts. We all have thoughts we don't enjoy, but OCD intrusive thoughts are on a whole other level. Equating that with a healthy person's thinking minimizes the serious and debilitating nature of OCD.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 08:00 PM
3

Agreed, and I'm so sorry you've had to suffer so much throughout your life. Hope things will gradually get better for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 07:58 PM
1

I have no idea what Elon Musk looks for in women. Regardless, I wouldn't want to be with him because I find him odious.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 07:47 PM
3

I wasn't talking about intimate partner violence (the studies for which are confusingly bifurcated in their results) but violence generally. It is not controversial that men commit the vast majority of violent crimes. I'm not trying to say all men are violent dangerous addicts. My point was only that it's unfair to say that women are impulsive when in fact many impulsive behaviours are more common in men. Most adults of any gender have sufficient control over their base impulses to function in s…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 07:37 PM
8

What statistics are you relying on for the assertion that women only open up to men who are virtually perfect?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 07:12 PM
1

Very few things are "almost universally" true of 4 billion people. Pretty sure my sex drive is a real thing, and I let my guard down in every relationship. I don't know what you're going on about.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 07:05 PM
8

It's not a mental illness to not feel a spark with your partner. It is a mental illness to have intrusive thoughts and act out associated compulsions to a degree that significantly interferes with normal functioning. This is just a species of OCD, and OCD has very specific, defined criteria required for a diagnosis. OCD is a difficult disorder that really disrupts people's lives. Don't make light of it or pretend it isn't real.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 05:59 PM
9

we tend to be more addicts and violent in part because we are programmmed to be addicted to sex from birth and the way to achieve it being violence So ... prone to impulsive behaviour involving addiction and violence, in other words. And the fact that in the US women surpassed men on number of physical violent (non murderous) attacks What's your source on that?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 05:48 PM
3

So is sex generally.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 05:18 PM
9

Such as lack of self awareness or lack of self control so many women suffer. This is rich coming from someone of the gender that is vastly more likely to develop substance abuse and gambling disorders, drive drunk or dangerously, and commit violent crimes.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 05:17 PM
27

You know what OCD is, right? How it involves intrusive thoughts that don't necessarily reflect reality? People with OCD can commonly have intrusive thoughts about committing violent acts, despite no history of violence. Do you want to declare that everyone is violent because people have OCD about it? People with OCD have intrusive thoughts about not having turned the stove off, even though they've checked several times. Is there an epidemic of people's houses catching on fire because they left t…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 05:09 PM
3

There are people who are turned on by poop or vomit. Smegma isn't that extreme. Not something I enjoy, but meh, to each their own.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 04:43 PM
2

the stud is one click away from your girlfriend/wife, reachable by free social media apps, phone or any device If you don't trust your partner, find a different partner. If you do trust your partner, why are you worrying so much about other people's sex lives? Also you weirdly seem to conflate casual sex with cheating for some reason? They are different concepts.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 03:53 PM
1

who the fuck asked? You asked. You said I needed to have someone else touch my bellybutton other than me in order to determine whether I experience this phenomenon. Hence I'll get him to try it out and let you know. I'm really not sure what you're mad about.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 03:16 PM
1

Well all right, I'll ask my partner to try it sometime. But a quick google search suggests this is a phenomenon that some people experience, not all.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 02:57 PM
2

acceptable alternatives of behaviour This poster offered to provide specific, actionable, personal advice to autistic men on how to behave in dating situations, but instead of taking her up on it you got mad at her: https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/14kwlz8/impact_of_aspergershigh_functioning_autism_on_men/jptcct7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button Perhaps you should message her and see if she can offer you any clear a…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 02:54 PM
1

Why would that make a difference? It's the same physiology either way.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 02:40 PM
4

How do you think that makes me feel, as a man who takes pride in explicitly not acting like a problematic person? Aren't you, though? If women are telling you "it makes us deeply uncomfortable when you do X," I don't see a meaningful difference between ignoring that message completely, as you say some men do, and telling women that they're wrong to feel that way and they ought not to voice their concerns at all, which seems to be what you are doing.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 02:31 PM
2

I'm sorry you've hit a plateau. That's really frustrating. It sounds like you've achieved quite a lot in your life, which is impressive. Clearly you have a lot of drive. I wonder if you could find another goal that is wider than just your own life. Like pick a cause you really care about, and set some goals for how you could further that cause and help make our society a better place. There are a lot of causes that could really use someone who has your self-discipline and ability to accomplish t…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 02:12 PM
1

Don't have an outie. And yes, I'm quite sure about whether or not I feel a particular sensation.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 02:02 PM
2

Yet you have no idea whether the same phenomenon is happening with this woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 01:41 PM
1

Thanks!
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 01:40 PM
1

Nope, I don't.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 01:37 PM
1

Of course! Why wouldn't I?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 01:28 PM
1

How do you know whether it was his money funding her endeavours? You know literally nothing about this woman or her marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 01:17 PM
1

Oh interesting, what's it called?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 01:09 PM
1

I think people respond to these ridiculous ragebait claims mainly because some people actually believe them.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 12:57 PM
1

I had a general idea of what it is but thanks for the succinct explanation!
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 12:54 PM
4

Cats are the best! I too recommend cats.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 12:51 PM
5

As I understand it, "scrote" was coined to highlight that it's shitty to insult someone by calling them a "pussy." The reasoning goes that pussies are quite strong: they can "take a pounding" and push out babies. Scrotums (scrota?) shrivel and are vulnerable and weak. It's mostly just used to point out that insulting a man by comparing him to female genitalia, as if there's something inherently wrong with women's bodies, is a pretty lousy habit that we should rid ourselves of. (And I agree.) Edi…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 12:44 PM
1

Thank you, I hope so too! And I hope you either have or soon find a partner who's similarly great.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 10:44 AM
2

Absolutely. It's not acceptable to yell at people. (I'm sorry to hear you've experienced so much abuse.)
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 10:39 AM
3

Despite not containing any bones, penises can be fractured. (It's a medical emergency! Go to the ER if you hear a cracking sound accompanied by extreme penile pain.)
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 10:36 AM
4

I'm confused. What statement are you referring to?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 10:31 AM
5

Yeah, it really doesn't sound like he's all there. I hope he has someone looking out for him who can get him medical care and support as needed. Glad your mother was able to laugh it off and wasn't too upset, at least. Sounds like a really weird day for everyone involved.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 10:27 AM
2

My partners over the years have ranged from 5'3" to 6'... something? Not sure exactly. Anyway, I am perfectly happy dating short men. It's not a factor for me. Mainly I care about intelligence when choosing someone to date. I have a minimum threshold for appearance — roughly average looking — and once that's met I look for someone who is highly intelligent and also a decent human being. Intelligence is probably where I am pickiest. I am more highly attuned to red flags than I used to be. I stay …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 10:21 AM
1

Aw, that's sweet! Glad it worked out for you. 🙂
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 09:54 AM
1

The physical attraction was there right off the bat This is actually unusual for how my relationships have historically happened. A majority of time, my attraction to people develops over time as we interact/flirt. Chemistry for me is usually about rapport more than appearance. You do not need to be hung up on chad cariacatures of tall, extrovert, assertive, rich, high status. It wouldn't have hurt his chances at all if he had those traits, it would have only widened his appeal and perhaps eleva…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 09:52 AM
1

That's an asset, everybody wants some tail.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 09:30 AM
4

Normally I would condemn him, but given his age, the fact that he was a friend, and the wildly inappropriate nature of what he was saying, I have to wonder whether he's experiencing dementia that hasn't yet been diagnosed. It often manifests as personality changes and inappropriate behaviour. Hope your mother is feeling okay. That must have been really disturbing for her.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 09:27 AM
1

Men. Never from women.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 09:23 AM
6

Also possible for your husband to do this. Human relationships involve risk. That's how life works.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 09:15 AM
1

To be fair, your post was pretty laughable. I'm not surprised people mocked you for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 09:03 AM
3

Ah, I see I accidentally left out a word in my comment above (now edited): I mean to say no amount of wealth would convince me to marry Elon Musk. And I don't think I'm alone in that sentiment. Wealth isn't the be-all and end-all for women. Most of us actually need to like the person we're with. We're just humans. We're not bots.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 08:56 AM
2

I mean, there's no reason it's literally impossible for you to find a suitable partner at some point. It seems like that's a reasonable thing to feel a bit of hope over.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 08:51 AM
3

I don't think I could live without hope, personally. But you do you.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 08:19 AM
3

LOL, even if it were possible, there is no amount of wealth that would convince me to marry Elon Musk. We do actually need to like someone to date them, you know. We don't sit there with a calculator to decide which man to date.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 08:16 AM
1

That's fair. Dating apps have a lot of problems with them that make them difficult to use for everyone. I just have never been able to make myself use them consistently. Most of my serious relationships, including my present one, have arisen from in person contact.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 08:08 AM
5

How so? The issues I have in my life right now are very different from sexlessness, but having a source of hope does help me cope.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 08:06 AM
4

Yes, this is why I hate online dating as a woman. Even if you try to vet in advance (at the swiping stage), you get way too many matches, and you can't possibly talk to them all and then they're upset and you feel guilty and it's just awful. I'm not cut out for that. Every time I've ever tried to use online dating, I've felt super overwhelmed and only been able to stick with it for like a week at a time before it becomes more stress than it's worth. I want to be fair to people, but there's liter…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 07:24 AM
2

That's so sad! I'm really sorry. Hang on, give me a sec and I'll DM you pics. (I can't seem to post them in the thread).
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 07:10 AM
–

Cats are the best! My profile pic is one of my three adult cats — she is very sweet! I also have a litter of foster kittens right now! Want a gratuitous kitten pic?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 06:56 AM
2

I think a lot of people are depressed these days. Women are more likely to seek treatment for it than men but that doesn't mean the men are doing okay.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 06:37 AM
–

Absolutely. I would never, ever wanted to have this arrangement in my relationship (from either side of the power differential).
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 06:34 AM
–

My point is that most likely they wouldn't have that tenancy protection.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 06:21 AM
4

Except it isn't. Money may buy you some women, but many of us don't care.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 06:05 AM
6

Except historically, many men in the clergy were extremely ambitious and jockeyed for huge amounts of political power.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 05:38 AM
10

once such a hope of finding someone good for you is lost, all that drive goes away That kind of just sounds like depression: sense of hopelessness, loss of motivation.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 05:37 AM
8

My take on this is that there's a reason you're mainly seeing this rhetoric online: it's imaginary. If men were only driven to achieve to get laid, we'd see very little achievement after men found a partner and got married — especially historically, when divorce was fairly inaccessible for most people so not realistically a concern. We would also see no drive for achievement among gay men and straight women, which is not the case. Nor would we see it in extremely attractive straight men, who hav…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 05:24 AM
1

Back when I was doing OLD, I did vet for compatibility to the extent possible, but it's not always easy to gauge that from a brief profile. You still end up with too many matches to know what to do with. To me it mostly just felt overwhelming and stressful. (I'm not very good at online dating.)
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 04:53 AM
9

Nah, the kind, empathetic, vulnerable man with communication skills actually is better. I've got one of those and he's the best partner I've ever had.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 04:49 AM
3

It's not on my list of dating criteria because wealth is one of the least important things to me when choosing a partner. If somebody I dated happened to be a billionaire, that would be convenient, but I'm not seeking it out.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 04:42 AM
7

That being said, why do so many women settle for average or average+ guys? Because I want to spend my life with someone I actually like, and that's way more important than wealth. I love my partner deeply and there's no billionaire in the world I'd trade him for.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 04:29 AM
–

OP, you didn't answer this, which is fine, but the reason I asked was that in many jurisdictions, the arrangement you are talking about, where a tenant moves into the same unit as the landlord, would not actually be subject to all the tenancy protections afforded to most residential tenancies. I strongly suspect you are actually wrong about the legal consequences of the arrangement you're proposing, and if this is something you're actually considering, I would strongly recommend that you get leg…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 04:25 AM
3

Yeah, fair, and I agree. I don't like being financially dependent on people either. Splitting the bill is the better way to go.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 04:19 AM
3

I'm confused because you said this: If a woman has gone on like a billion first dates or have 20 matches at a time you're usually either more invested in the attention, or not good at vetting. Why do you think it's bad that she has 20 matches at a time if the only issue is seriousness?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 04:16 AM
1

Yeah, I would run far, far away from any partner who acted like that. You're absolutely correct that it's toxic.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 04:11 AM
0

Also do not want the drivel they call "chivalry." Just treat me like a normal person.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 04:07 AM
-1

women do want a chivalrous guy Hard pass. Agree that desperation isn't a good look though. But judging from OP's other comments, I imagine he's scaring them off with his bizarre belief that women are obligated to keep dating him if they agree to a first date, and that they ought to be held "accountable" for the grievous wrong of deciding there's no chemistry between them.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 04:05 AM
5

Yikes, dude. I begin to see why you're not getting second dates. The whole purpose of going on a first date is to determine whether you're interested in each other. You can't know in advance of that whether they're someone you want to date. They're not "shirking accountability" because there's nothing to be accountable for. They're following the normal process of dating: meet up, see how well you get along in person, think about it, and decide whether you want to proceed to a second date. If thi…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 03:43 AM
3

I'm in my 30s too, although I'm in an LTR so it's been several years since I was out there dating. Glad you're dating mostly decent people! Hope it continues to go well for you. 🙂
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 06:46 PM
1

As in she ghosted you? I mean, that sucks, but it's a feature of dating for both genders. In future, if you're more comfortable splitting the bill, say that upfront. It filters out people who aren't interested in splitting expenses.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 06:38 PM
14

I insist on splitting the bill either way. I don't trust people not to hold things like that over my head (as OP is doing) and I'll be damned if I let a first date see me as dependent.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 06:38 PM
6

Yeah, totally. Meeting for drinks is great for a first date — you have the opportunity to chat and get to know each other, but it's low key so there isn't a lot of pressure on either party and you can politely exit at any time.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 06:11 PM
1

Me too! (Or at any rate, I was one before I unfortunately got sick and had to go on medical leave. Hopefully I will be one again at some point soon.) Probably if you seek out women women with professional careers, you're more likely to find someone who's interested in that arrangement.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 05:54 PM
24

I'm confused. You went on a date with someone, she agreed it was a date, and you think she was lying about that because... she didn't want to go out with you again afterwards? You realize that's how dating works, right? You go on a date to see if you click with someone, and if you're not feeling it, you decline to go on a second date.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 05:51 PM
14

If a woman has gone on like a billion first dates or have 20 matches at a time you're usually either more invested in the attention, or not good at vetting. Are you saying you would like women to be pickier and swipe right on fewer men?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 05:47 PM
10

It turns out there's actually more than one woman, so it's not a paradox when they don't all act in accordance with one another.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 05:44 PM
3

If both genders applied a lot of this stuff (not all) it would make for the eglitarian relationship every feminist wants. Thanks, but I'm doing just fine with my egalitarian relationship already. I don't need to add a bunch of sexist stereotypes to my life. Also fuck stoicism, feel your damn feelings.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 05:33 PM
2

Women see women being a housewife as oppression men see it as a privilege. Many men would love to switch genders with women If you want to be a stay-at-home husband, you can do that. It's 2023.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 05:05 PM
2

Sounds like you should break up. There are lots of people in the world; surely you can find a more suitable match. Why stay with someone who makes you feel unhappy?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 05:01 PM
1

YES to men who make puns.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 04:56 PM
1

Break up then?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 04:55 PM
2

Also, he is so gentle and affectionate with our foster kittens and it warms my heart. Date men who like cats! That's my protip.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 04:50 PM
3

We met at the birthday party of mutual friend. It was doubling as a beer share because the mutual friend is a beer geek (even more so than I am). So having sampled all the tasty things, I was fairly soused and don't remember a great deal about our first brief encounter. I gather that I introduced myself to the group he was sitting with. He tells me he liked that I was very enthusiastic and smiley. There was a very good mead someone had just opened up and apparently I was excited about it. Likely…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 04:42 PM
2

Truerateme is insane and thinks everyone is ugly, so like, that's pretty meaningless.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 02:40 PM
1

Let’s discuss more about how women gatekeep sex more than ever in a time when it’s supposedly easier than ever to get laid Are you suggesting we should normalize rape? Because I'm not for that.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 02:23 PM
6

Wow, that's absolutely terrifying. Thanks for the detailed info. My heart goes out to all the women there who are suffering abuse and have nowhere to turn.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 02:19 PM
2

I find over 50% of men physically attractive enough to date, sure. Whether I am actually into them depends on a lot of other factors.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 02:06 PM
2

I think the average guy is attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 01:48 PM
2

Men have to bring resources to the table to get women to have sex with them. I am very willing to believe that women don't want to fuck you in particular unless you bribe them.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 01:39 PM
3

I've done a bunch of those. They are nice in distant retrospect but less nice when recent. Sorry you're going through that.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 01:24 PM
2

You have clearly never had women try to suck your dick. It's not stellar. Sorry your sex life sucks, that's a drag.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 01:12 PM
2

Same, they're great.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 12:59 PM
1

How's his ass though?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 11:39 AM
2

No, there are many others in the world who see women as less than people. Wouldn't want to date one, sounds drab.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 11:33 AM
14

Here are some things: He is clever. He likes doing puzzles with me, which is very romantic! He is quite handsome, in my view. I am very physically attracted to him. He is one of the kindest and most caring people I know. I'm very ill right now and he has been taking such amazing care of me. He has an absurdist sense of humor that I really enjoy. He is very gentle, emotionally intelligent, and understanding. I can talk to him about anything. He is booksmart and gets all my nerdy jokes. He is very…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 11:24 AM
2

This depends on tenancy legislation in your jurisdiction. Many (including mine) have a carve-out for situations where the landlord is living with someone in the same unit, such that they wouldn't have very much tenancy protection and could be kicked out for no reason with reasonable notice.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 11:05 AM
2

Ah, the beauty of projecting your own bizarre worldview onto 4 billion people you've never met! You understand it's embarrassing for the guy right? My partner is very good friends with one of my former partners, so not that embarrassing. It's about that other guys played with your toy before you. Thinking of your partner as a "toy" is a you problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 11:01 AM
9

I haven't noticed any association between gender and being a foodie, wanting to travel, or enjoying looking out windows. (I'm something of a beer geek so a significant portion of my social circle is willing to spend too much money on fancy drinks.)
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 10:57 AM
3

Yeah, in my jurisdiction (Ontario, Canada), a relationship like this would not be subject to the tenancy legislation that protects tenants from random evictions for no reason. The tenancy would have no better protection than the common law affords — basically, the landlord has to give you reasonable notice (depends on the circumstances but generally a month would be fine) but can kick you out for any reason or no reason at all. Don't know which jurisdiction OP is in but I would recommend they ge…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 10:52 AM
1

It's the bro code. If all of your friends are terrible and toxic, I guess. Imagine that a guy used to be gay. And then his wife meets the guys he used to date. Maybe there are some social media pictures with his former dates. So what? I assume that people I've dated in the past have dated others.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 10:46 AM
6

What jurisdiction are you in?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 10:35 AM
2

What jurisdiction are you in, OP?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 10:31 AM
2

Same, it sounds like the worst idea ever. A world of nope.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 10:28 AM
3

I have no trouble believing that you view women as toys, but I don't hate men enough to assume they all do. Because when he meets the guys that banged his wife they are going to make fun of him. That's what I would do. Probably they won't if they have the emotional maturity of an adult.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 10:24 AM
2

What sort of regulations would you impose on dating apps? I think it would be a very hard sell to get politicians to take that issue up, as there would be a lot of complaints of "government overreach."
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 08:36 AM
1

Should loneliness be seen as a collective problem, maybe even requiring government or charity intervention What kind of government or charity intervention do you mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 06:46 AM
2

If you cheat on him, he would most likely feel betrayed. But having had sex in the past is not cheating. They are in no way equivalent. I'm not sure why you're trying to suggest they are.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 06:38 AM
1

Not having periods since I got my IUD has been great.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 06:20 AM
1

Imagine it as cheating on your husband with multiple men. Except that isn't what it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 06:19 AM
5

He looks fine to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 05:48 AM
6

Almost all slothful people, haters, and pyschos are autistic Citation needed.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 05:01 AM
1

I'm sorry that happened to you. People can be so cruel sometimes.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 04:53 AM
4

Women who like you go out of their way to be around you, befriend you and want to get know you more As a woman, I'll say that I don't really take much notice of strangers or people I talk to only briefly. The fact that I'm not trying to befriend them doesn't mean I think they're unattractive; I just haven't thought about it. Put yourself in situations where you're having meaningful interactions with women regularly. You have to get on our radar before we have any interest in getting to know you …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 04:51 AM
1

Yup. Pretty sure my core personality doesn't change each time I fuck a new person.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 03:45 AM
1

That looks delicious! Thanks!
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 02:48 AM
1

Egg salad is delicious. Adding avocado sounds brilliant! What's the recipe?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 02:40 AM
3

If these women don't buckle to the pressure, they are often dismissed or even made fun of by their more "sexually liberated" female peers for having some sort of internalized sexism that they can't snap out of. Do you have evidence that this is a widespread phenomenon? Generally what I've seen in sex-positive spaces is that people acknowledge that not everyone wants to have casual sex and that's okay. People can live their lives however they want. If these women filled with regret are in this su…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 02:28 AM
37

Sometimes people's relationships don't work out. I'm not sure why this surprises you.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 01:59 AM
1

What consequences do you feel their actions would have?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 01:46 AM
2

Thanks for the explanation, that's very interesting! I'm really glad he's been able to help you make progress! 🙂
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 01:37 AM
2

Sure, that could probably be helpful.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 01:32 AM
5

For example, they could run around the "lesbian lands" naked Living the dream...
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 04:11 PM
1

Yes, which is easier said than done. It's really difficult to recognize these behaviours for what they are. I spent a long time reading up on patterns like that after a not very good relationship a long time ago, in the hopes of minimizing the chances of finding myself in a similar situation. Red flags and all that. I am better at recognizing them than I used to be ... but it's still very hard. I think many people are more susceptible to manipulation than they realize.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 04:07 PM
1

I imagine it's the same problem as with every community resource available to help people in need: there is more need than they have the resources to meet. Some may have assistance with things like transportation; I'm not intimately familiar with the inner workings of these shelters. Some may not. It depends on resources and funding. In theory, most logistical problems are solvable, if you have sufficient funds to throw at them. But community organizations rarely do.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 04:00 PM
3

Just out of idle curiosity, what does a dating/life coach do to help you out? What is that process like?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 03:47 PM
2

Are you sure? A lot of people get oral herpes in childhood and never realize it.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 03:45 PM
2

Also curable with antibiotics.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 03:44 PM
–

What I actually meant was "Your post, and in particular the passage I have quoted, is hopelessly out of touch."
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 03:38 PM
13

If you're hanging around her in the same social circle and meeting occasionally, while you're developing attraction for her, she's hooking up with other guys. If she rarely develops a deep enough connection to want to have sex, she probably isn't.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 03:31 PM
4

<image>
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 03:26 PM
28

Saying that men are unable to make good decisions because they have a sex drive is exactly as silly as saying that women are unable to make good decisions because they have periods. Most adults manage to fulfill their responsibilities despite having sex hormones.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 03:21 PM
8

Where are you finding people who expect their partner to see them as physically perfect? I haven't seen that anywhere. Most people want their partner to see them as attractive, which is eminently reasonable.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 03:11 PM
9

I have no idea how many people initially felt indifferent to their long-term partner. It's not something people often tell you. I think what matters is not how attracted they were initially, but rather how attracted they are to each other by the time the relationship begins to get serious. I usually become more intensely attracted to people as I get to know them more. If that didn't happen, I would stop dating them.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 12:57 PM
1

Thank you for this thoughtful comment. It's given me a lot to think about.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 12:47 PM
2

I agree that if you have no good qualities, people are unlikely to be interested in you.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 12:41 PM
1

Thank you. You're probably right. I definitely have had relationships where I accepted too much from people, to my own detriment. The good news is that the relationship I'm in right now is with a very caring person who does respect me and is very kind to me. I'm incredibly lucky to have him in my life.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 12:04 PM
8

It's not unheard of. But to suggest that it happens all or most of the time is very silly.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 11:58 AM
–

If you don't have money, your boyfriend or the guy you're temporarily dating will give you some because men give money to their girlfriends You're hopelessly out of touch.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 11:47 AM
2

You think you need to be in the top 20% of earners to find a relationship? That's insane.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 11:39 AM
1

I might be willing to work through this depending on what my partner said when we talked about it. But then again, it has been suggested to me that I'm too forgiving for my own good.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 11:38 AM
1

I think it's just hard for most people to actually imagine being that rich.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 11:21 AM
1

the beast was a good guy and and it was only the outside of him that was ugly Was he though? He sure had an anger management problem in the Disney version.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 11:15 AM
5

I wouldn't be in a relationship with someone I found unattractive. And of course I would care about him cheating on me.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 11:14 AM
1

Jumping in, but I think it's more likely just an issue with messaging. There's a widely held belief that almost all bisexual men are secretly gay but just in denial about it, and that message has unfortunately been spread quite widely. So I think a lot of women simply worry that he isn't actually attracted to her gender at all. Personally I have no issue dating bisexual people.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 11:13 AM
2

They always make me think boogers are dripping out of someone's nose, which is highly unsettling. Kind of gives me the ick also. But it's also okay if people do a normal thing that I happen to find icky for irrationally reasons. It's a feeling I can manage.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 11:07 AM
6

Yeah, I have a "normal" BMI but I would see someone asking me how much I weighed as a red flag.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 10:44 AM
5

I use my kitchen scale to weigh kittens! There, now I've disclosed how I weigh.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 10:42 AM
5

I wouldn't ask someone how much they made unless it was actually my business, which it almost never is.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 10:41 AM
5

Where did the post you're responding to say men are not allowed to complain? It just said use your eyes to assess whether you are attracted to someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 10:39 AM
6

Congratulations about the pregnancy, that's very exciting!
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 10:34 AM
4

Almost every single relationship I've ever observed suggests otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 10:19 AM
–

Do you somehow think that 80% of men are unable to find any relationships? Dude, get off the internet and talk to actual humans.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 10:04 AM
5

All of those relationships sound miserable. Don't stay in a relationship where one person has checked out.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 09:35 AM
3

Fortunately, these are not the requirements to start dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 09:21 AM
14

This is a dumb take. You don't need to have everything in your life sorted out to be a good partner. When you're in a relationship, both of you grow together, and that's one of the beautiful things about a strong relationship. I would say that if you are emotionally sound enough that you can treat your partner with kindness and respect, go ahead and date people. That's how you learn and mature and grow as a person.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 09:19 AM
2

I hesitate to call people ugly because there are many people I'm not attracted to that end up in happy relationships with people who are attracted to them. I've seen this happen so many times. I'm not the final arbiter of what is attractive in men or women. Conversely, I've found people attractive that a lot of my friends thought were unattractive. If you aren't conventionally attractive, there's probably a much narrower band of people who will be into you, and that really does make things a lot…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 09:15 AM
1

Thanks for posting those TED talks! They are very interesting and quite moving. I read something many years ago that was a very good description of what it feels like to be in a relationship that is abusive but not (yet) violent: https://manysmallvoices.wordpress.com/2013/10/09/domestic-abuse-is-not-always-violent-by-eliza_do_lots/ (It hit very hard at the time, because I recognized myself in it.) I think that does a good job of describing how the brainwashing gradually happens, what people need…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 09:07 AM
0

No, because "gay" is how they refer to themselves. "Faggot" is a slur. I'm not telling you how to choose which words to use, merely how they come across in English, since your post suggested that you might not know as a second-language speaker. If you do know it's horribly derogatory to use the word "whore" but want to do it anyway, well, go ahead. I can't change the way you see women.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 07:44 AM
1

Well, with most crimes, if the complainant completely recants, there's a decent chance the charges will get dropped. With DV, recanting and then having further incidents is so common that they've changed the way they approach decisions to drop charges. Otherwise you just can't address domestic violence in the criminal justice system at all. It's still really hard to address and the system fails victims much more often than anyone would like. It's such a thorny issue to untangle and address at a …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 06:53 AM
15

I think being a gold-digger is still seen as a shameful thing by most regular people. The internet isn't real life, and people saying clickbaity things on social media doesn't necessarily tell you much about actual people's values. That said, I haven't done a survey on attitudes towards this, so who knows, maybe there's been a change and I just haven't noticed it.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 06:35 AM
4

I often think the world is getting stupider by the year It sure feels like it sometimes.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 06:26 AM
1

Sometimes there's no room, especially if you're trying to move with kids. Many don't allow pets. Sometimes the only shelter options might be so far away that, for example, you wouldn't be able to get your kids to school if you don't have a car of your own. Things like that. They are a really great resource and they can help a lot of people, but there are still people who fall through the cracks. When I see advice posts on Reddit from people in abusive relationships, I do always recommend that th…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 05:41 AM
2

There are men who get off on sharing their partner. Are they not allowed to do so, according to you?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 05:12 AM
5

It is very much contrary to my own experience, but I have no idea how generalizable my experience is. Certainly online, I've seen men slut-shame a lot more than women do. Perhaps others can weigh in about what they've witnessed.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 04:47 AM
1

Again, if he doesn't care, why do you?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 04:44 AM
1

It's complicated. People in abusive relationships have often been subject to years of brainwashing, to the point where they believe they are terrible and the abuse is all their fault for doing something wrong. They still have feelings for their abuser, and they think, "It'll be better next time because I won't do" [whatever trivial things set their abuser off]. Their abuser apologies and promises it won't ever happen again. The abuser is extra nice to them in a conciliatory way. They think it's …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 04:44 AM
10

Yes, it's still rude. Why does the number matter to you? Either you find her attractive or you don't.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 03:32 AM
1

Yeah, this makes zero sense to me. These red pill men go to great lengths to rationalize their double standards, but everything they say about why it's not the same for men as for women sounds like, as the saying goes, "a distinction without a difference."
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 03:28 AM
1

I really can't say much. I don't really have a physical type; I can find a lot of different looks very attractive. I do like men with (neatly trimmed) beards, so that would be on my list. Maybe broad shoulders too? I like those, but then again, I have been attracted to people without them so who knows. Any height is fine. I guess ideally on the shorter side so that I don't have to crane my neck, but I don't really care all that much.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 03:24 AM
3

I'm so sorry. This must have been really devastating to hear, especially if it's something you're already insecure about. I'm sending you big hugs. It sounds like you're panicking right now. Can you take a few minutes and do some deep breathing? Breathe into the lower part of your lungs — breathe in for a count of four and out for a count of six. Do that for a few minutes, okay? I think you should take some time today to process this and feel a bit calmer, but then when you feel ready, you shoul…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 03:19 AM
7

Women slut shame each other far more than men slut shame women. Do you have a source for this? It sure isn't true on this subreddit.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 03:01 AM
2

She's giving up something that in theory only her boyfriend or future husband should see. Only her boyfriend should see? Why "should"? If he doesn't care, why do you?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 02:59 AM
1

Most victims don't report abuse, often out of fear. If they do, they'll often get on the stand at trial, look fearfully at their abuser, and answer "I don't remember" to every question the prosecutor asks. Source: worked in the criminal justice system. Those trials are hard to watch.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 02:51 AM
1

"Whore" is a very derogatory word with a connotation of hatred and disgust. "Sex worker" is neutral and is usually what the women call themselves; I would recommend using that term. If you must, "prostitute" is slightly better than "whore."
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 02:46 AM
8

This is not consistent with my experience. I've never had a relationship with someone I didn't want sexually, and I can't imagine why I would sign up for that. Sounds miserable.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 02:42 AM
3

If I watch porn, it's exclusively kink porn. But more often I read erotica. I don't actually care about seeing hot people so much as I care about the scenario they are in.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 02:28 AM
6

Omg conspiracy theories make me dry as a desert. An eternity of nope.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 06:53 PM
2

Most guys (I have found) want repeat sex, so why would they be callous and selfish. I have no idea why, but puzzlingly, I have encountered quite a few who are.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 06:49 PM
7

To begin with 'lonely dudes getting laid' is no way for a lady to speak. A lady just spoke it so it's now a way for a lady to speak.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 06:41 PM
5

How would modesty get lonely dudes laid?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 06:27 PM
25

The concept of Alpha Widow assumes that the man a woman loves is the most masculine one she has experienced, which isn't necessary the case. Masculinity can reach levels where it becomes a turn off. I've dated men who were in constant competition with other or who were extremely dominant and territorial. That wasn't something I found attractive in the least. Absolutely this. It's pretty silly to think that masculinity automatically makes a relationship better. In my experience it often makes it …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 05:10 PM
7

I gave a one-word answer because the idea that women can only deeply love one person in their life is ludicrous on its face. I mean, could somebody not be over their ex? Sure. Happens to men and women. It's not because the ex was uber-manly and no one can live up to his masculinity. It's generally because they had a deep emotional bond and she can't forget about him. But most people get over their exes with time. I certainly have. It is possible that her ex was better in bed than you are. But th…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 04:57 PM
1

I mean, I'm doing fine, I have a really great man. (He isn't really great because he matches redpill wet dreams of manliness; he's great because he's actually nice to me.) Do I feel awful when I break up with someone I actually was emotionally close to? Absolutely. But I don't really feel much of anything if I fail to date someone who seemed promising but it didn't work out.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 04:48 PM
2

I mostly see younger women admiring my spouse for getting such a great catch as a 50 year old man. LOL And that couldn't possibly be you making assumptions about the thoughts of people you haven't ever talked to based on your own inflated ego ... could it?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 04:39 PM
4

Same.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 04:22 PM
6

This aspiration by men is built on their presumption that a woman fiercely loves only once in her life. Is there really truth to that? No.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 04:10 PM
4

It's even more the case with loneliness than homelessness. Because in theory, we could decide as a society that we care about homeless people and build them some housing. But we can't build lonely men some ladies. Realistic sexbots are still some years away.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 04:03 PM
1

No worries, I probably should have understood it your way now that I think about it. Anyway, thanks for clarifying. 🙂
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 03:59 PM
2

Why would indirect, abstract competition motivate us to sabotage other women's relationships out of spite?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 03:59 PM
1

Me too. If he's just someone I think is attractive or have a mild crush on, I have nothing emotionally invested in him, so if he's not into me, I just shrug and move on. I can't even imagine getting catty and competitive in those circumstances.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 03:47 PM
4

Me too, it's just not worth it. These beliefs make someone totally undateable.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 03:41 PM
3

That sucks, I'm sorry to hear that. Hope you can escape all that drama; it must be exhausting.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 03:37 PM
–

Ah, I see. Then yes, I'd agree that this red pill stuff is hard to believe if you are an emotional healthy and socially well adjusted person.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 03:36 PM
2

Yeah, I think there is when you're very young. Like girls in their tweens and early teens are super catty and full of (horrifying) drama, but most women grow out of that. I haven't really seen much of that in adult women. It probably does exist, but I wouldn't say it's a major motivating factor behind all women's actions.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 03:33 PM
3

Yes, me too. It's an instadump.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 03:30 PM
3

I don't know about the dynamics within particular religious groups. Maybe they're different, I have no idea. But I've honestly never encountered those dynamics in my social circle, at least not since we were all silly tween-agers whose entire social world was limited to a few hundred people in our middle school. No, my friends don't say one person looks cuter than another. No, I've never encountered a situation where two women from the same friend group indicated they were interested in the same…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 03:29 PM
1

Which romance books are those? I've never read a romance book where the lead man rotated women. Women can be jealous. I would feel jealous if the person I'm actually dating (or just broke up with) were actively pursuing someone else. But I don't get jealous of some random woman because she has an attractive or rich boyfriend. I just don't care, not at all. I don't ever think about it. That man isn't available; I'm not scheming to get him. He isn't on my radar and neither is she. And if he's sing…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 03:17 PM
2

Yeah, I'm sure there are some women who may feel that way. I don't care about that, personally, and I don't know anyone else who does either. I wouldn't say it's a common sentiment in my social milieu.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 03:04 PM
10

Yeah, no one was in competition for my (absolutely wonderful) man; he is very shy and we only started dating because I propositioned him. I don't care about their goddamn generic tall rich dude. Men aren't interchangeable units whose only relevant differences are stats like height, wealth, and ability to bench press. I'm not shopping for a car; I actually want to date a person. I can only suppose they think this way because to them, women are just interchangeable units whose only relevant differ…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 03:01 PM
7

Yeah, a lot of the bizarre, completely out-of-touch red pill beliefs make a lot more sense if you look at it as them projecting their reality onto us. They don't know we have very different social dynamics, because they've never listened to a woman in their life. It's such a strange way to look at the world.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 02:52 PM
3

Yeah, that's a load of crap. I don't have a radical personality change because some man puts his hand on the small of my back.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 02:46 PM
13

It’s rare I see women take up for others like that unless something is in it for them. No, it's simply rare that you believe women are helping others, because you just attribute their actions to some ulterior motive. Women look out for other women. Most women have experienced other women looking out for them (with no ulterior motive), and we pay it forward. Women have helped me so many times throughout my life, too many to count.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 02:43 PM
18

Yup, all of this. We just don't operate like that. I never think of other women as my competition. I especially do not cry if red pill men don't want to date me. The feeling is mutual.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 02:37 PM
10

I have never in my life competed with anyone for a man. I have never resented another woman for having a partner. I have never worried that competition from other women would prevent me from finding the right man. This stuff just seems laughably out of touch with reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 02:34 PM
3

She kept all her eggs in the husband basket. No church. No job. No parents. No friends. No family. Unhealthy partners do their best to isolate you from anyone who might support you, and they make you completely dependent on them. Could be what happened to her. I hope she'll be okay. That's a tough situation to be in.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 02:24 PM
2

Many people have to trust their partner a lot before they feel safe having sex. So sex is something they save for relationships. Or so I'm given to understand. I've never operated that way, myself. I did some casual sex, mostly out of curiosity. It is often mediocre, though. At this point in my life, even if single (or even if my partner and I decided to open up our relationship), I'd only do casual sex if I had a good reason to believe it would be a sexually interesting experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 02:08 PM
–

It's never written like that What's the material difference? It's a concern about controlling and unhealthy relationships. That's a logical explanation to the above statement, so if it isn't true what is the truth? Just what I said: we are concerned about the potential for unhealthy relationships. What motivates that concern? The fact that I used to be a naive young woman myself. I feel protective of people who remind me of how vulnerable I was back then. (I probably am still vulnerable in many …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 01:55 PM
2

Some women don’t even like dressing up for that. I just don't like dressing at all. I hate clothes and resent having to wear them. Maybe one day it will be acceptable to not wear clothes in public. It would save me a lot of stress (not to mention money). But yes, mainly I dress up in clothes because society expects me to look a certain way. It's mostly not for men, but occasionally it is for men (or rather, one particular man).
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 01:46 PM
2

Can you link to an example? As a geriatric millennial, I'm not on TikTok. But it sounds like nonsense anyway. I don't believe in divine entities, feminine or otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 01:37 PM
–

Women: We are concerned that some of these relationships may be controlling and unhealthy (not in every case, obviously). Men: Actually, you are just old ugly harpies who are bitter because we don't want you anymore. Your concern for younger women is just a ruse. (I assure you that I do not care whether the red pillers of PPD want me.)
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 01:34 PM
2

Actually, I looked at his YouTube channel and it appears he has a girlfriend now and they are happy together. So at least one woman finds him attractive. Good for them, they seem really cute together.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 01:29 PM
1

I guess it depends on what you mean by "ugly." To me, ugly means looking at you repulses me. I don't find this guy repulsive.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 12:44 PM
–

Men are projecting what they think our motives are.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 12:35 PM
2

Because the ones in the field were doing the exact same thing the younger ones are doing when they were their age. Were they? Most relationships are between people of approximately the same age.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 12:34 PM
–

It isn't "concern" - it's older women mad that their prospective dating pool is not interested in them. Older women know that they cannot stop younger women from going after the men that older women feel entitled to (and it's hypocritical because when those women were younger, they were the ones dating older men), they know they can't make men stop preferring younger women, and they damn sure know that they can't reverse the clock and become younger women. You red pill men keep saying that, but …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 12:16 PM
1

It's pretty easy to tell when someone doesn't have very much sexual experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 10:51 AM
1

It's a red flag to want people to actually understand you before they judge you? Yikes, dude.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 10:45 AM
1

I wouldn't say it's a red flag, but it may indicate an incompatibility. I would be unhappy in a relationship with someone who didn't care very much about sex. But somebody else might find that ideal. It's just about making sure you match up with the right person. There's nothing inherently wrong with having a low sex drive — or a high sex drive either.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 10:42 AM
0

Definitely! Virgin /= incel. (Though I don't like the word virgin either; it's a silly concept.) And agree, I don't care whether other people find my partner attractive. I'm not 12 years old and trying to be cool.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 10:34 AM
3

There is a high probability that something is off about the guy if he is mid-twenties and virgin. I think you can miss a lot of wonderful people in life if you assume things about them based on what you believe is "a high probability."
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 10:26 AM
4

Yes, mostly what I want in a sex partner is someone who listens, cares about my pleasure, and wants to explore together. The rest we can figure out.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 08:26 AM
1

I've just got the one account, but I guess if you're determined not to believe me there's nothing I can do about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 07:07 AM
5

There's also the issue that, especially as you get older, you don't want to have to be a teacher. I've never minded that, personally. YMMV.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 07:06 AM
4

Also, why is a guy being a virgin implies there is something wrong with him? I don't think it does. There are so many reasons why someone might be sexually inexperienced. It's better to ask them about their life than to assume there's something wrong with them. (I mean, there's something wrong with everyone, of course; nobody's perfect. But I wouldn't assume there's something grievously wrong with someone just because they haven't had sex.)
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 07:03 AM
–

Not me https://preview.redd.it/fj83unrh348b1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=d1862026d9e89d65eb566a89b0356949164bfeb8
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 06:54 AM
–

Someone here said what was me? There person who downvoted you, you mean? It wasn't.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 06:54 AM
–

I didn't say it was just men. I didn't downvote you either. That's somebody else.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 06:40 AM
26

No, I don't care where you take your girlfriend out to dinner. Poverty is not the kind of "flaw" that I worry about. Being poor isn't a mark of bad character. I worry about older people being controlling in relationships with much younger partners. I used to be a naive young person, and I didn't have the knowledge and experience to spot that kind of behaviour. Many young people don't. When I see an older person specifically seeking out younger partners — rather than happening to end up in an age…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 05:48 AM
–

Congratulations, you've managed to make a post that everyone will hate!
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 04:51 AM
2

I would say that only the first guy is an incel, because by "incel" I mean someone who buys into the incel ideology. If you just want to know whether a regular dude who's only okay looking can have relationships and sex, then sure, it happens all the time. Most people end up in relationships or having sex at some point, including people who are kind of meh looking.
/r/ExRedPill25/06/23 04:48 AM
3

I'm sure they can be helped, but I'm definitely not signing up for that job. I don't need more misogyny in my life. They can take their angry unhinged rants to a therapist. Edit: Oh, it seems like you want to know if they can get laid. Sure, if they can drop the misogyny.
/r/ExRedPill25/06/23 04:29 AM
–

I didn't say it was. I strongly disagree with that view of men too.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 04:12 AM
3

Is that new? It's pretty typical for people to wear stage makeup, or makeup on movie sets, or whatever.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 03:33 AM
4

I don't know why people weren't into hot Asian men to begin with.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 03:19 AM
5

Yeah, same, most of my swipe lefts (back when I was single anyway) were based on things other than looks. I would usually swipe left on anyone who put nothing in their profile, for instance, since the kind of person I'd be compatible with would likely put something in their profile. The exception might be if their profile pictures were quirky and creative and gave me a sense of who they were as a person. And then I swipe left based on politics, saying something cringy, sounding really generic...…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 03:11 AM
3

30s to early 40s, I guess? Though I guess if it were just a casual thing I might go a bit farther in either direction.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 02:53 AM
5

Lots of people split Bill
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 02:15 AM
–

Oh, that sucks. Not even with the dog people who come up to you? I recognize that you're being put in a really weird position at this bar with your friend, and it's probably not conducive to normal conversation. Is there another place you could interact with women? Do you have hobbies that could help you meet people (not necessarily just women, because expanding your social network generally is how you eventually get more opportunities to meet people)?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 01:21 AM
1

Yeah, totally fair.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 01:18 AM
–

I'm also 5'1". It would be a hassle to date someone that tall, but I'm sure we could find a way to make that work. I care more about the connection I have to someone, so I've always been hesitant to rule people out for things like that. But you're within your rights to reject people for any reason you like, of course. I'm not single anyway. I have a partner. He's maybe 5'7" or 5'8" or something? It's a good non-neck-craning height, but also, I would put up with neck craning if I felt a connectio…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 01:16 AM
1

I was just about to say that I don't think I could make myself do that. But you know, for $10,000, possibly I could. I sure could use $10,000.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 01:09 AM
–

Re the age thing, I was just wondering if you were 40 and hitting on 20-somethings, in which case I would advise you not to do that. It's fine if you're 29 and hitting on people in their 20s or 30s. Re the people at bars: since they are actually trying to hit on your friend, I would just use that as an opportunity to work on talking comfortably with people and developing rapport. Ask them questions, get them talking about themselves. Instead of having in your mind that the goal is to ask them fo…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 01:08 AM
1

I think the people responding poorly are making snap judgements based on their interpretation of what's being said. If you know people consistently misinterpret something you say, stop saying it and reword it. This is basic communication skills. Just say "she's not my type." That's an easy way to express what you actually mean without people misinterpreting you.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 12:54 AM
2

This hypothetical doesn't make sense to me because I never see a stranger walking by and want him to approach me. I just have no sexual interest in people I haven't interacted with. If I noticed him at all, I would think he looks aesthetically pleasing, then promptly forget about him.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 12:48 AM
–

I don't hate men. I have dated some bad ones but also some good ones. I don't project my negative experiences with one person onto every person with the same gender.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 12:32 AM
–

I wouldn't reject someone for being too tall — that strikes me as shallow and I wouldn't want to miss out on a great person for something like that — but I like short men also. That way I don't have to crane my neck. I don't think I deserve accolades for that stance, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 12:28 AM
–

I think that's reasonable. Crying is normal and if you can't show vulnerable emotions in front of your partner, get a new one.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 12:22 AM
–

What we DONT mean is that it’s okay for men cry like women. Speak for yourself. In my books, it's okay for men to cry however they want. I think it's charming when people are easily moved.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 12:20 AM
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The top comment that shows up for me is: I love me a dad bod! Thank you Rihanna for continuing to be inclusive with the body types you use selling your product. The insecure ppl who think one body type is meant for modeling are crying rn! It’s wild that’s it’s 2023 and ppl still care about shaming bodies that don’t look like the ones society brain washed us to think is “perfect” SLAYYYYYY KING! Personally, I agree. Good on him for being confident in his own skin.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 12:15 AM
–

The takeaway should be that you're doing something wrong. I don't know what without more details. Are these strangers or people you know? Where are you meeting them? How much did you talk to them and develop rapport before asking them out? How old are you and how old are they? What do you say when you ask them out?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 12:12 AM
1

So? Just don't use them and say she's not your type. No one's forcing you to use a 1 to 10 scale. I don't. It sounds like you understand why you're getting pushback: by calling supermodels unattractive, you're giving people the mistaken impression that you think most normal women are hideous. But instead of rewording/clarifying your statements to prevent misunderstandings, you get mad that people misunderstood you in a way that you already knew they would. If you say misleading things on purpose…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 12:04 AM
2

This is the best response.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/23 11:55 PM
4

🙄 Lots of people split the bill.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/23 11:55 PM
2

Pick my nose and wipe it on nearby furniture.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/23 11:53 PM
–

I don't agree. I have plenty of diagnoses; so does my partner. But we have a wonderful, loving, supportive relationship and don't buy into the red pill nonsense.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/23 11:52 PM
18

I do believe in love. I'm in a wonderful relationship. I find the conversations here really bizarre and off-putting too. It does seem like a lot of the men here don't believe healthy, loving relationships are real. I find all this red pill stuff to be a very strange, backwards, and unrealistic way to think about human relationships. A lot of what people say just seems really divorced from reality and I don't even know how to address it other than just throwing my hands up in the air because it's…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/23 11:50 PM
0

Ah, I didn't actually watch the video, just glanced at the beginning of it. That is very sad and I hope things are going better for him now. People can be really cruel, and it's so unnecessary. Even if you're not personally attracted to someone, there's no excuse for ridiculing their appearance.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/23 11:35 PM
1

Ah, I see. You'll probably get less pushback if you just say, "She's not really my type."
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/23 11:33 PM
8

I am puzzled by this too. I find a majority of men in my age bracket to be attractive. Even some who I wouldn't consider attractive, I wouldn't call them ugly either.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/23 11:20 PM
1

Funny, really, because when us guys say that "average" women are perfectly fine-looking, we get called liars. By whom? In what context? What did you say? I struggle to imagine someone being offended by you saying you find a particular adult woman attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/23 11:14 PM
-3

I wouldn't say that guy is ugly. Not highly attractive but he still looks like a normal person. He's not an eyesore or anything; he just has a weak chin.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/23 11:05 PM
–

To be clear, I don't have anything against people who struggle with dating. They might technically be "incels" but they don't necessarily see themselves as part of the incel movement. I have an issue only with people who buy into the hateful rhetoric found on incel forums and identify themselves with the incel movement. It's okay to be lonely and struggling. It's not okay to endorse violent rhetoric.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/23 10:44 PM
–

Interesting idea. What are you trying to say with it?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/23 10:40 PM
1

I can see what you're saying. At the same time, I am very leery of giving compliments because I don't want to lead people on, and because in many instances it can make people feel very uncomfortable / like their boundaries are being ignored. (I give my partner compliments on his appearance every day, of course, because he is wonderful and I want him to know it. When there's no danger of leading someone on or violating boundaries, I enjoy giving compliments.) How would you like to receive a compl…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/23 10:37 PM
21

100% accurate. I become way more attracted to men over time as we interact and grow closer. Seeing a random man in a picture, I mostly just think, "He seems okay, we can move him on to the next round."
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/23 12:07 PM
4

The fact that your marriage sucks does not mean every marriage/LTR sucks.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/23 12:01 PM
–

I’m surprised I saw empathetic replies I feel a lot of empathy when someone says, "I feel lonely. I'm going through something difficult and I yearn to connect with someone and feel desired." I feel less empathetic when someone says, "I feel lonely, and it's because all women are shallow greedy useless whores. All they want to do is fuck Chad until they're disgusting and worthless and run through." I don't know how you have phrased these sentiments in the past, but I see a lot of the latter senti…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/23 11:39 AM
2

I hope you can find someone who isn't repulsed by you expressing normal human emotions. We're not all like that, regardless of what red pillers claim. I actually think it takes great strength to open up and talk about things instead of hiding them, and when partners do that with me, it makes me feel so much closer to them. I'm glad you're doing better now than before and I hope things work out for you. 🙂
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/23 10:58 AM
5

Yeah, plus many say nothing in their profile, which for me is an an automatic no.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/23 10:29 AM
22

This is what I do, personally. I don't know how to rate people out of ten. What even is a 6? What is a 4? Fuck if I know. When I look at dating profiles, I just think "attractive, passable maybe, or nope."
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/23 10:27 AM
–

I'm really sorry you had so much turmoil and weren't able to talk about it with anyone close to you. I hope you have some people in your life that you can confide in now. It's so important not to isolate yourself when you are going through something really difficult. I'm sorry you've had such a tough time of it and I hope your luck will turn around someday.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/23 10:19 AM
10

Your post shows a lot more emotional maturity than I usually see from posters around here. I agree with you. I don't think you can fulfill people's desire for a partner with other kinds of relationships. I do think those other relationships can help mitigate loneliness and can pull people back from the brink. They are crucially important. But they aren't the same. I haven't experienced the kind of loneliness and dearth of desire that you have, but your post does a good job of describing it. I'm …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/23 09:38 AM
–

This might convince me more if incel groups didn't glorify Elliott Rodger as some kind of hero.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/23 02:16 AM
1

But the only way you can stop people from not doing it is to protest the government into making a law. Then why have smoking rates fallen dramatically? Why is spanking children less common now than in the past? (I actually think spanking children should be illegal, but it nevertheless goes to show that making something illegal isn't the only way to get people to stop doing it.) There's also a world of difference between thinking something is questionable and can lead to problematic situations, a…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/23 12:50 AM
1

This is a dumb question. There's a huge difference between thinking something is questionable and thinking it ought to be illegal.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/23 12:06 AM
1

In 29% of marriages today, both spouses earn about the same amount of money. Just over half (55%) of marriages today have a husband who is the primary or sole breadwinner and 16% have a breadwinner wife. https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2023/04/13/in-a-growing-share-of-u-s-marriages-husbands-and-wives-earn-about-the-same/ In almost half of US marriages, men are not the primary breadwinners, and in 16% of households women are the primary or sole breadwinners. That's just the percentages …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/23 12:01 AM
–

Also for the same reason that there’s a lot of anger against incels. Have any women with a high number of sexual partners gone on murderous rampages recently?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/23 11:28 PM
0

OP's post says at least 5.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/23 11:25 PM
1

Given the choice between working or staying home to take care of the house and family, a record-high 66% of U.S. adults would prefer to work. While women's preference to work outside the home (56%) continues to lag behind men's (75%), it is at its highest point in roughly three decades. https://news.gallup.com/poll/267737/record-high-women-prefer-working-homemaking.aspx More than half of women would prefer to work outside of the home.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/23 10:54 PM
2

What?! No it doesn't.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/23 10:48 PM
2

Fine. Have some numbers. Among all mothers, the share who are stay-at-home mothers with working husbands fell to 20% in 2012 from 40% in 1970. https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2014/04/08/after-decades-of-decline-a-rise-in-stay-at-home-mothers/ That's among all mothers. Presumably if you're looking at married women without children, an even smaller number are stay-at-home wives with working husbands.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/23 10:47 PM
5

Isn't it? Because it sure seems like a lot of men on this sub want a "submissive, feminine woman" but also complain endlessly about having to pay for stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/23 10:19 PM
2

Curiosity, mainly.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/23 10:16 PM
3

Yeah, these men will find a reason to hate women no matter what we do. Fortunately, not all men are like these ones. I do have a very wonderful man who loves me.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/23 10:16 PM
1

And women promised that they already had no personal standards regarding gender norms. Personally I don't. I can't control what other people think, but you can absolutely seek out those of us who don't buy into gender norms. It's more and more people. most men do not even get paternity leaves Depends where you live. In my country, all workers are eligible for mat leave or pat leave. And most of the time, women are after someone who makes similar or more, while men are after anything. So find the…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/23 10:13 PM
3

Yeah, social media algorithms have figured out that you watch this content so they show it to you. Social media shows me a ton of videos about people who keep servals and cougars as pets. If I went by the videos social media shows me, I'd think almost everyone keeps huge wildcats as pets. But actually almost nobody does. In the US, most families are dual income, and most women have jobs. Most women aren't crazy social media influencers who want to be treated like princesses and do no work in the…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/23 10:03 PM
8

I personally already refuse to conform to gender norms. How so?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/23 01:31 PM
5

Until I got sick and had to stop working, I was making way more than my partner. Another "blame men" argument. Men are literally having the shorter end of the stick in the dating market, they're not the ones who can drive changes. And how exactly do you propose to change that, except by refusing to conform to gender norms?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/23 01:09 PM
14

There are plenty of us who don't expect that. Perhaps you should date those women, and be a stay-at-home husband. Be the change you want to see.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/23 01:01 PM
9

Yes, that's the ticket. It's very odd to me that on the one hand, red pill men complain endlessly about paying for dates, but on the other hand, they don't want to date those of us who are more than happy — or perhaps even prefer — to split the bill, because we're not "submissive" and "feminine" and all that. I don't think you get to complain about being held to gender norms if you only want to date people who conform to and believe in gender norms.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/23 12:57 PM
5

Yes, I've never really understood why we talk about sex work as people "selling their bodies." Unless something goes very wrong, the buyer doesn't actually end up with a body. If you have sex with someone, your body is still yours; you're just using it to do something, either recreationally or professionally.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/23 12:43 PM
11

Women didn't change one yotta in their expectations of men and their behavior. Most households are dual income now, and men can opt to be stay-at-home husbands/fathers if they want. I would say those are some pretty large changes in expectations.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/23 12:37 PM
5

There isn't a grand conspiracy among women to keep rich misogynists from fucking foreigners. Why on earth would anyone care? "One Western woman loses out"? No one cares about some hypothetical poor sucker of a woman who might otherwise have sex with these dudes. Maybe you are spending all your energy on obsessing over "supply and demand" in the "dating market," but most people have better things to do. You red pillers are unbelievable sometimes. You've got some serious QAnon energy. A grand sche…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/23 10:15 AM
–

It was pretty obviously a joke.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/23 09:57 AM
47

Great, abolish the idea that men must be providers. Set up your dual-income household and come hang out with the rest of us in 2023. It's an okay decade so far, except for plagues, war, and everything being on fire.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/23 09:10 AM
7

Me too, I'm second best. Bow and worship us, puny humans!
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/23 09:02 AM
5

They'll go after the girls in the destination countries. Close the brothels and ban advertising. Now everyone is on the street or in private apartments. That raises the barries to entry for foreign guys. Foreign countries have sovereignty over their own territory. Who do you think the government policy makers are? The ugly women from college that's who. Who do not care about you or your foreign sex life. Get over yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/23 05:02 AM
1

Yeah, ew, that sounds gross. Hygiene is pretty basic and not negotiable.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/23 04:28 AM
2

Ah, that makes sense. Thanks for the explanation. I would hope most people would feel this way about their partner if their relationship is a good one, but I suppose there's a dearth of positive relationships in this corner of the interwebs. May you find someone who feels that way, if you haven't already. 🙂
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/23 03:55 AM
2

Well said.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/23 03:14 AM
1

The difference we are talking about, I think, is that you want the feeling of being the kind of person who is able to provide and be provided those things — companionship, sex, connection, etc. — whereas I just want those things and enjoy providing them.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/23 02:34 AM
2

Wow, that sounds like quite an adventure. I don't blame you! I would not put up with living like that prior to the apocalypse. I like to be able to wash myself in my home.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/23 02:13 AM
4

This assumes that what is holding these men back is their body shape, and that's not necessarily true. It could be their face, it could be their social skills, it could be that they are too shy to talk to anyone, it could be that they are irritating. I doubt there's a one-size-fits-all solution to people's dating woes.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/23 01:52 AM
1

Interesting take. That may be true of you, and perhaps it's true of the person you're responding to also — I wouldn't know. I don't think this analysis really rings true for me, though. I already know, outside of my relationship, that people value and care about me. But I want someone to come home to, someone to snuggle up against, someone to eat dinner with and do boring errands with. Someone I feel connected to, someone I can share moments with. I can't see myself in what you are describing.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/23 01:43 AM
1

Well now you're going to need to tell me that story.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/23 01:20 AM
1

Ah, fair enough. In my mind, busy means severely overcommitted to too many activities and responsibilities. Perhaps I know too many overachievers. In that case... I'll agree with you that she has more opportunity to meet people, but that doesn't necessarily mean she has the inclination to have casual sex. It really depends on the person. I'm not terribly outgoing generally but have engaged in casual sex when single. I am not really an extrovert. I hate networking and parties but fucking people i…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/23 01:18 AM
1

I did, "You need to medicate your bipolar I disorder in order for me to feel safe enough to remain in this relationship" (after his episode of severe mania and paranoid psychosis). I don't like ultimatums generally but I thought that one was fair and necessary.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/23 01:11 AM
1

You want someone who appreciates and values you because you feel like nobody does I'm not the person you were responding to... but it is strange to assume this is the primary reason people want a relationship. Personally I want companionship and someone to share my life with (and of course, sex). It's not about feeling gratified that someone likes me.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/23 01:00 AM
2

You didn't specify that she is dating people. You said she is busy doing things. If she's already very busy doing a lot of things, she's unlikely to have time to do more things.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/23 12:49 AM
1

God that's depressing. Our society is so fucked up.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/23 12:47 AM
8

young and tight babes You know the nonsense about women getting looser vaginas because of sex is not scientific, right? If you think that Western governments are going to allow hundreds of thousands of well off guys to go abroad and get easy sex you're bluepilled. By which legal mechanism could they possibly prevent it? And if you think government policymakers care whether you fly to Thailand to have sex with consenting adults, you are crazy-conspiracy pilled, and have an inflated sense of self-…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/23 12:43 AM
2

That's true, but only relevant if you have the inclination, energy, and time to have sex with some of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/23 12:01 AM
2

Most of those I've seen elsewhere. Not the thing about virtue. That seems illogical. How can virtue simultaneously affect who you attract, but not affect attraction? What anti–Nice Guy content did you find helpful?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/23 12:00 AM
3

I agree, that's a stupid justification. I've never heard of it before. I've found the norm in my circles is for people to split the bill.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 11:52 PM
4

If you think that Western governments are going to allow hundreds of thousands of well off guys to go abroad and get easy sex you're bluepilled. And precisely how would the government prevent this? Your post has strong conspiracy-theory vibes.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 11:46 PM
4

Absolutely agree. I just don't get it. Like you, I don't think men should have to foot the bill for dates. I have always gone on dates with the expectation that we'll split the bill, because it's 2023. But also, this is a very strange hill to die on. Maybe worry about climate change or something.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 11:36 PM
1

Agree, giving ultimatums for anything less than something really major is a huge red flag.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 11:19 PM
1

Honestly, I don't really understand this complaint men have. I have set up dates and I haven't found that it takes all that much work. I just name a coffee shop / bar / restaurant somewhere central in my city and we figure out a mutually convenient time. I check in the night before with a text or two to confirm. What's the fuss?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 11:14 PM
1

Yeah, me too. And I'm somewhat absented-minded so a few times I've been that person who totally forgot, to my great embarrassment (generally because I forgot to put the appointment in my phone — I basically can't adult unless my phone tells me what to do). I usually confirm with people the day before or day of just to make sure we're still on, and to confirm that the time still works with both of our schedules. It shouldn't strictly be necessary but it's good practice if you want to avoid mishap…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 11:05 PM
1

I wouldn't think so. If she's very busy, she probably doesn't have time to be sleeping with more than one person, if that. Cultivating sex partners takes a lot of time and effort.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 10:56 PM
3

Recommending exercise is generally good life advice. It improves your mental and physical health. This is hardly a red pill notion, but if they're pushing exercise that's fine. Women do actually care about appearance, among other things. I don't know why this is controversial; it's pretty common knowledge that appearance is a significant component of sexual attraction. I really can't think of anything else I agree with.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 10:13 PM
1

I have to ask just out of curiosity... but what is it in my comment that you and others are reacting to? I didn't expect it to get a response like this and I'm honestly really puzzled.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 09:16 PM
1

Thank you, I'm touched that you think so! ❤️
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 08:49 PM
4

OP literally wrote "all women" in caps in the title of his post, so I felt my anecdote was relevant. There are a lot of people in the world, all with vastly different preferences, tendencies, and desires. By all means work on feeling more comfortable in social settings, but don't give up on looking for a partner just because you're not quite there yet. I'm not the only woman out there who's open to dating shy men.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 12:17 PM
7

So somebody that feel a strong connection with you, or feels deeply in love, picks up on your feelings and emotions really well and knows what to say is great, until they feel rejected, angry or upset. Then the same sensitivity is too much. I am a person with very intense emotions, positive and negative. And I moderate them so as not to hurt others, as best I can. It's not okay to lash out in anger. You can feel whatever you like, but if you act on those feelings in a way that is nasty, people a…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 11:48 AM
2

Aren't they? They're my latest set of foster kittens. They're eight weeks old and they're the sweetest, cuddliest little babies ever. ❤️❤️❤️ We also have three adult cats of our own, and they are pretty darn cute too.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 11:26 AM
3

Aw, thanks, you're sweet. 😊
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 09:46 AM
10

Is it? Neat. It's just what I think. He's a really good guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 09:12 AM
3

Yes
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 07:23 AM
1

Yeah, I think we all have our challenges. They are different challenges; certain aspects of life may be easier for some and harder for others. But overall, life isn't easy for anyone (except perhaps my pampered housecats).
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 04:41 AM
7

I don't know. Are you winning? Have you found the person you want to spend your life with or are you still looking?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 04:21 AM
3

That is my suspicion as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 03:42 AM
5

We're on a debate sub, which is why I am arguing with you. I am not worried about my number of sexual partners affecting me negatively in any way.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 03:41 AM
–

Because I am "too loud, obnoxious, and argumentative"?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 03:35 AM
–

LOL none of these are related to how many people someone has slept with. Pretty sure our hypothetical 20-something will do just fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 03:33 AM
5

I can't tell how many people someone has slept with unless they tell me. How do you do it, pray tell?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 03:30 AM
3

Either this is an anti man, anti relationship statement by saying men in general will simply lose interest in their partners It seems to be the flip side of the red pill argument that women aren't actually interested in their long-term partners and will cheat or or leave if they have the opportunity. Both sentiments are silly.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 03:29 AM
4

How does that work exactly? What are the supposed indicators?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 03:24 AM
3

Not everyone likes clubbing, why is clubbing seen as the epitome of fun in our youth. Agreed, clubbing is not for me. I went to a few parties in my first year of undergrad because I thought I should give partying a try, but I found it fairly boring.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 03:23 AM
12

Obviously women in their 20s should do whatever they're inclined to do because not everyone is the same, and it's silly to organize your life around the idea that men ditch their wives after they turn 30. But kudos for coming up with red piller reasoning for women, and also for posting a sentiment that hasn't already been posted today. Ten points for Slytherin! (And I do endorse getting an education and setting yourself up with a career so that you have independent means of supporting yourself.)
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 03:18 AM
8

I interpret that as him being upset and in emotional pain, because that's what he says when I ask him what's the matter.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 03:01 AM
3

We were talking about people who display some or all of the following traits and behaviours: No boldness. Too tentative. Too hesitant and scared to ask her out. Too scared to throw out some compliments. Too scared to try and kiss her on a date. Too much talk about his feelings. Acting emotional and sad and mopey. No initiative. No style. No nerve. Scared to fail. Scared of rejection! I don't endorse the practice of calling people "pussies."
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 02:57 AM
6

He doesn't really tear up very often. Instead he ... moans or groans I guess? But not in a sexual way, more like a pain sound.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 02:46 AM
1

Did read the whole post. Did not agree with it. I wouldn't say my desire for the sensual is stronger than my sexual desire.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 02:34 AM
9

No people are pussies He is a people Therefore he is not a pussy
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 02:26 AM
16

Maybe this one's a little more informative: <image>
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 02:01 AM
1

Maybe this one's a little clearer:
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 01:59 AM
3

Aw, thanks! :)
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 01:57 AM
13

I wouldn't say anyone is a pussy except cats. Edit: helpful diagram to better illustrate my point <image>
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 01:47 AM
2

If you can't understand why it comes off as an attack when you tell a complete stranger that they are wrong about their own thoughts and feelings, there's probably not much more we can say to each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 01:06 AM
23

I mean, my partner probably is timid much of the time, but that's fine. I like him exactly the way he is. He's a wonderful human being and I'm so lucky to have found him.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 12:47 AM
2

You said: If he shared those with you, you’d break up with him. That's attacking her and making it about her. If you just want to share your experiences, do that without invalidating other people's and you'll get a much better response.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 12:42 AM
2

Yeah, it's really infuriating that they don't, and it tells you a lot about what kind of a person they are. Hard pass on these types.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 12:40 AM
2

you’re literally invalidating what we’re trying to tell you upfront You're literally telling a total stranger what her thoughts and feelings are, so of course she is fixated on the factual inaccuracy of you saying incorrect things about her. If you want to not get a reaction like that, don't make it personal and claim you know a stranger better than she knows herself. That's the height of arrogance, for one thing, and it's also the reason no one is talking about you and your feelings: you made i…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 12:36 AM
1

I am the same way. I like when partners open up and I wouldn't want to be with someone who didn't. I don't know why so many men around here have the hobby of telling women they've never met what their feelings are. It's very tiresome.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 12:32 AM
8

I didn't say that. Of course I care about personality. I also wouldn't date someone who was a shitty person or who was stupid. I want to be attracted to the person that I'm dating; they need to pass my looks threshold. But my looks threshold isn't especially high. A majority of men are attractive enough to meet it. Once someone is attractive enough to meet my threshold, I decide who to date based on personality, intelligence, and shared values.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 12:26 AM
1

That's terrifying! I hope he's stopped! The stalker types are so insane and hard to deal with. I'm sorry she's had to go through that.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 12:21 AM
–

Actually strong willed and actually aggressive men scare women in real life. Agreed. Huge nope to aggressive men. I would never date one.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 12:14 AM
38

I've been with my shy, gentle partner for 5 years and he's the best partner I've ever had, so I don't really agree.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 12:10 AM
2

Yeah, of course it bothers you. It would bother anyone. And yeah, I've seen some really supportive posts too, and the difference between posts that inspire support and posts that inspire cruelty eludes me. I hope that one day you'll get some external validation too. It doesn't necessarily take away the self-consciousness, but it does soothe it a bit. I'm crossing my fingers for you. 🙂
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 11:32 PM
2

No, I definitely want sex rather than just validation. Reducing sexual desire to just testosterone is bad science.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 11:21 PM
4

Ugh, I have zero patience for women who complain that they sent someone hints and he hasn't picked up on them. It's 2023. Ask him out your damn self.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 10:53 PM
12

Nope, I wouldn't date someone I wasn't attracted to regardless of how rich he is.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 10:50 PM
1

I'm so sorry you had that experience. I don't check out that sub all that often, but I've seen a few of those pile-ons over there too. They're really cruel. And kind of random sometimes? Honestly, some of the people they randomly pile on look okay to me. I try to leave a compliment on those threads when I see them. But yeah, that is one big reason why I haven't posted there either. I know I don't have the self-confidence to not feel crushed by something like that. Few people do. My heart goes ou…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 10:39 PM
2

Aren't attractive "chad" men supposed to have women throwing themselves at them? Surely by your reasoning they must know. I doubt all the attractive women know it. Many of the ones I know are genuinely insecure. People's stories can predispose them to insecurity. Some had awful parents who put them down every day (and awful parents tend to pick on women's appearance). Others were bullied as kids or teens. Some are told by abusive partners that they are ugly. Some endured childhood sexual assault…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 06:37 PM
3

I thought "chads" had women throwing themselves at him and ignoring other requirements, according to red pillers. How would he not know?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 06:21 PM
4

That validation-seeking behaviour is ingrained in women? No, I don't. But you didn't answer my question.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 01:45 PM
5

You seemed to feel disdainful of women who posted on the sub. I wanted to know whether you felt similar disdain for men who post there, and similarly "cannot feel empathy" for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 12:54 PM
2

Do you feel the very attractive men on that sub are also looking for attention?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 12:49 PM
6

And what about the obviously attractive men on that sub who also post their pictures?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 12:49 PM
3

I don't know why you had to go through a tedious and largely irrelevant explanation of what an axiom is, just to make the point that people's differing experiences sometimes make it difficult for them to relate to each other, but sure, I don't disagree with this fairly obvious observation.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 08:34 AM
7

I've found most of my serious relationships through social circles, and my social circle consists mainly of university-educated people, so I mainly meet people within that socio-economic class. Some of the people I've dated have been broke or underemployed, though. Wealth has never been something I cared about much; I mainly just want people I can relate to.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 04:30 AM
17

No he has just sold you on the idea he wants more than sex, he is there to lock down sex. Take away sex, he is gone or angry like a buffoon. "I would leave without sex" does not mean "I only want sex." You're mixing up necessary and sufficient conditions. If only men were more logical. Also, I wouldn't exactly call honking horns, catcalling, and sending unsolicited dick pics "an approach."
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 04:11 AM
6

Same. I'm in a great relationship now and it seems to be the one I'm settling, but my family has seen me through all sorts of bad ones and they'll always be there. I'm lucky to have a family like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 02:51 AM
1

Probably, yes. 🙂
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 02:49 AM
1

Better luck next time. I'm sure this technique is bound to work sometime.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 01:54 AM
3

Yeah, that's fair. For people who have romantic and sexual urges, their needs won't all be met by having other connections and a sense of community. I do think connections can take the edge off of loneliness and prevent a lot of people from falling into deep despair. Not everyone, and not completely, but it really does help. And I think that even if you do have a partner, you still need other connections to your family, friends, and community. Personally, I've had some bad periods in my life whe…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 01:43 AM
16

What's with your punctuation issues, my dude? My inner proofreader is twitching. I know many people who've lived with their parents for long periods of time, in lieu of sending them to nursing homes. And while roommate relationships can be bad in some cases, they can also work very well. I've had some successful ones that helped me not feel alone while single. It really helps to have someone to sit on the couch with at the end of the day. I'm not saying these are replacements for romantic relati…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 12:40 AM
0

No, I believe you that it must be horrible to have no human touch for years. I do think that's a basic human need. It's much more common for close female friends to give each other hugs and such than for close male friends to do so. (Y'all need to get over your homophobia.) So even if we're single for a while, we're less likely to be completely touch starved. I don't know what being touch-starved for years feels like. Even in periods of time when I was single, I have a close relationship with my…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 12:24 AM
41

Family bonds are very temporary, and not really that loving to begin with. That really depends on the family. I have very strong and loving bonds with my family. Your parents have their own relationships, or don’t want to live with you as an adult. Many adults live with their parents, particularly if their parents are aging and frail. Friends don’t live with one another so that’s a non starter anyways. Single people commonly have roommates. (You must live somewhere very affordable if this isn't …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 12:05 AM
3

Yeah, it's pretty unbelievable that so many men do this. I can't imagine it works very often. It's basically just obscene spam that we receive just because we're women existing on the internet.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 11:58 PM
1

I find most men and most women to be likeable. 1 and 1. I wouldn't necessarily date them all, but they are decent people worth knowing. I have no idea how this affects my dating life. I guess positively? But I don't really have a comparator of myself with different opinions on men and women.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 09:49 PM
1

I wasn't talking about preferring sexually, but rather liking other women as friends. Few women have no female friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 09:41 PM
1

No thanks.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 09:35 PM
6

I'm in a relationship and I did meet my partner in person. What apps do you mean? I'm not talking about dating apps; I get random sketchy messages from strangers on all social media (including Reddit). I am on social media for the usual reasons (not to find men), but random men send you dick pics regardless.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 09:35 PM
1

I'm not especially worried that this will turn into a problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 09:31 PM
1

I wouldn't be terribly bothered if someone I'd actually interacted with online, and whose online persona I enjoyed, sent me a private message wanting to meet up. That's a different category of message and it's fine. I'd be open to meeting up — not necessarily as a date, but if I were single and we hit it off, it could go that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 09:28 PM
3

I'm not especially worried. Don't let this stop you from leaving the country.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 09:20 PM
1

= If misogynistic men want to leave the country, good riddance.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 09:11 PM
0

I'm sure some people are petty like that, but many are not. Generally when I've talked to people about dates (or gone on them myself), they reject people for a valid reason. Why would you know you're being rejected for having brown eyes or for chewing weirdly? Generally people send a generic vague rejection (didn't feel the right connection etc.) rather than tell you why you're rejected. When I've actually talked to people, it's usually been things like "he said something truly despicable" or "h…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 09:10 PM
1

If not even young women can tolerate the presence of other women Where did you get that idea? I am fine with being alone Well, suit yourself, I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 12:46 PM
4

move to where he's appreciated Don't let the door hit you on the way out.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 12:45 PM
3

So you feel that the vast majority of women are not good enough for you, but you still want to complain that you haven't found someone yet. I mean, you can have whatever standards you like, but if your standards exclude almost everyone, you're going to have to reconcile yourself to being alone for a long time.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 12:32 PM
7

It is extremely rare to find a woman you would want to have a relationship with And yet RP men complain that women are too picky.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 12:11 PM
9

Completely agree. I would be open to dating neurodivergent people too but anger issues are a huge nope.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 10:29 AM
16

I don't know about the person you're responding to, but almost all the random DMs I've ever received were sketchy as fuck. Often men will send you dick pics with no warning. Or they will message you and immediately start demanding you tell them about your sex life (probably they want to jerk off to it). Or else they are from halfway around the world, can't spell, and ask you if you want to marry them. Or whatever. It's always sketchy, not actual normal people you could conceivably date.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 10:26 AM
6

Your scenario is silly and artificial; in reality there are more than two people to pick from and no two people have the same personality. Obviously being autistic is a real-world issue. I am a person who might potentially be open to dating someone with high-functioning autism, but income wouldn't really influence that decision. Being physically attractive enough to meet my looks threshold is essential for anyone, but once you're beyond that it isn't a deciding factor. What would attract me migh…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 04:44 AM
7

Ultimately your scenerio is silly and artificial. Are there things that would make me want to date someone with high-functioning autism? Sure. But they are almost all personality things. I don't really care about wealth or height, and there are many men attractive enough to be appealing to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 04:20 AM
4

Alpha blowing, beta lawn-mowing. Alpha group sex, beta Amex (Slightly grossing myself out with this whole concept, though.)
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 03:52 AM
3

So you said this earlier: If I refrained in the past with a previous partner, I did it because said previous partner never did X act with anyone in her past. But that's not quite accurate. Even if your partner had engaged in no sex acts, you would still insist on some sex acts. Therefore your past forbearance wasn't solely based on the fact that she hadn't done a sex act; rather, she hadn't done a sex act and you chose not to ask it of her. In that sense, wouldn't you still owe that forbearance …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 03:41 AM
5

If your partner had never done anything sexual, would you refrain from all sex acts?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 03:23 AM
2

I meant that in practice, I have been sexually involved with men who had very little prior sexual experience, and I did not care about that because they were not misogynistic.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 03:21 AM
–

No, I've always been fine having sex with men who have little experience so long as they're not misogynistic. I also am repulsed by misogynists with lots of sexual experience, or with middling amounts.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 02:50 AM
5

Alpha boning, beta bemoaning
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 02:46 AM
5

Alpha swallowing, beta wallowing?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 02:40 AM
6

So what happens if she did sex act X with a former partner and "owes" it to you, but you refrained from that sex partner and now "owe" it to her not to do sex act X? Do the obligations cancel each other out? Is there an error message?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 02:39 AM
–

I'm not disgusted by virgin men, unless they also have disgusting views about women.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 02:34 AM
4

Alpha pegging, beta begging Alpha spanking, beta wanking Alpha ass lick, beta ass kick This is fun (though not a concept I put much store by).
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 02:30 AM
1

Anything did for, did with or tolerated from previous partners becomes base treatment for the next one. So what if you tolerated forbearance from a certain sex act with another partner. Don't you owe the next partner forbearance from that sex act as well?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 02:21 AM
9

sexual liberation and feminism You can believe in sexual liberation without personally wanting to engage in casual sex. Sexual liberation means people are free to have consensual sex however they want, whether that's with one partner or several partners; it doesn't mean that anyone must have sex. You've got some really distorted notions in your head.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 02:02 AM
1

I agree, most sex is free. I don't have an issue with people having no-strings-attached sex and I don't fault men for wanting it, unless they look down on women who do the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 01:54 AM
3

The post specifically asks: How do the Red Pill men here and Red Pill adjacent men feel about OnlyFans and its degradation of the place of women in society? I don’t include women like myself because I know my place and I’m speaking only about women that are not for recreational use or just plates for a man before he meets the woman he wants to have children with. Hence discussing its effects on women. Do you feel that we should make it illegal for men to purchase OF content in order to protect t…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 01:32 AM
6

Most men just want sex and they see dating as a game. It hasn't been my experience that this is true of most men. It is definitely true of some men, but men are no less emotionally complex than women and ultimately most people want love and companionship in addition to sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 12:05 AM
6

I'm not going to tell you how to choose partners, but sexual history isn't something I care about, unless it's something like a history of having sex with people without their consent. And did you stop performing the same activities with your current boyfriend/husband, that you used to do with your previous boyfriends/husbands/hookups? No, I haven't. But I can understand why someone might, if they tried something and it wasn't for them, or else if their bad experience of that sex act with their …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 12:02 AM
2

Do you guys think this casts a bad shadow on good women and women worthy of relationships? As a woman in a relationship, I find that the existence of OF has no effect whatsoever on my life. It's basically just porn, except women control the content of what they produce and they make money directly instead of a bunch of middle men profiting. I also think it's likely to give viewers a more realistic view of sex than most mainstream porn. In general indie porn isn't going to be quite as silly and u…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 10:07 PM
3

Do you feel that freelance writers do not work as well? Creating and selling content sounds like work to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 10:00 PM
3

Well, you're most likely to find people who are still virgins in their teens. So I guess up to age 20 would be your best bet. Maybe add a couple of years because you don't have to be exactly the same age as your partner. By 26, most of the women who would be interested in you would be in their 20s and are unlikely to still be virgins unless they are very religious. I guess it's not impossible to find someone, but it's going to be very difficult, and it will get harder with every passing year. I'…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 09:48 PM
3

At 26, you've probably missed your window for finding a secular virgin who wants to be with you. If you're okay with being alone forever, that's fine. Otherwise, you may have to get over your hang-ups. My main controversial belief simply put is that with every additional partner one would be less connected in future relationships with the first ones affecting it most. I don't agree that this usually happens, but probably I won't be able to change your mind about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 09:29 PM
–

Because that contradicts other parts of your statement. How so?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 09:02 PM
–

How many partners have you been through? How are you defining "partner"? Of those that you dumped, how many were emotionally honest with you? I've only dumped one serious partner. His opening up to me was what originally got me hooked. It was a terrible relationship, though. We were together for two years and he wasn't very nice to me. I dumped him eventually — after much agonizing because I didn't want to hurt him; he was in many ways vulnerable — because he had controlling tendencies and the r…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 09:00 PM
–

They wanted me to open up, but it was more about them feeling special/good about themselves rather than actually wanting to help/support me. I have also experienced this same phenomenon from men. I don't think it's something unique to women. I agree that it feels awful. In my experience, it's a product of a deeply unhealthy relationship, in which one person wants to cast themselves in a role that puts them in a light they feel is flattering. They want to play the supportive role and part themsel…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 08:43 PM
–

If the relationship isn't highly established, it will most likely to cause a loss of attraction of the partner...or the potential to drop the partner altogether... I mean, don't tell people about all your woes on a first date or something. But otherwise I disagree. For the same reasons I already stated in my previous comment. Please explain why this particular thought horrifies you, it hardly explains anything. What didn't you understand about the rest of the paragraph in which that sentence was…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 08:28 PM
–

I completely agree. I really hate all the broad generalizations. There are shitty members of any broad group of people, but there are also good people. It doesn't help to demonize them all.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 08:25 PM
4

I've never heard anyone claim that marrying in your 20s is bad. Where are you hearing this?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 12:18 PM
–

I mean, I would be surprised to see someone getting married at 20, but getting married soon after graduating from university (22 or so) is pretty common and accepted. I've never heard anyone suggest it's a bad idea.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 12:16 PM
–

I'm really glad you found someone you can trust! And yes, I can imagine it would be terrifying trying to open up to someone after going through that, but I'm glad you were brave enough to do so with your current partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 12:15 PM
–

I've never heard anyone claim that marrying in your 20s is bad. Where are you hearing this?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 12:07 PM
–

Wow, she sounds like a terrible partner. She ignored your boundaries and violated your trust, then shamed you for the normal effects of trauma. I'm so sorry this happened to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 11:58 AM
–

I understand him better; he feels heard and supported. I also feel more comfortable opening up to him as well. One-sided vulnerability in a relationship feels awful. Plus it's easier for me to trust that he's being emotionally honest with me, so I don't have to worry that bad things are brewing and I won't know about them until it's too late. And just, mutually sharing emotions and empathizing with each other is a moving process and brings us closer together. Emotional intimacy feels nice.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 11:54 AM
–

For what it's worth, I think that's totally reasonable. You're allowed to have emotions about important moments in your life.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 10:30 AM
–

They don’t mean actually show them emotion. No, I literally do mean that. I definitely want my partner to show me his emotions. It makes us closer and fosters trust.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 10:27 AM
–

Thanks, I'm glad you found it so! 🙂
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 10:05 AM
1

Yes, of course people are sexually diverse. With each new partner you have to figure out what works for their body. I myself do tell partners how to pleasure me. It's more efficient for me to just give directions, and I've never felt embarrassed talking about sex. I hope any future partners you may have will be able to tell you what they like. Unfortunately it's difficult for many people to have these kinds of conversations. I'd love to see that change in our society because it could really make…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 05:55 AM
6

I do want emotional vulnerability from the people I date, and it's been an important component of every serious relationship I've ever been in. TRP men will shit all over me for saying this. They'll say that either I'm lying, or I'm a statistical anomaly. But remember who gets sucked into TRP thinking: it's men who feel bitter about their experiences of dating, either because (1) they have no relationship experience, and thus have no basis on which to make claims about how women behave in relati…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 05:23 AM
9

I'm so sorry that happened. You really can't tell who's going to be dangerous sometimes. Effective predators are very good at blending in.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 11:34 PM
12

Another rectally sourced statistic!
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 11:15 PM
–

I expect a long-term partner to: Have decent conflict-resolution skills Be honest and forthcoming about important things in our lives Be emotionally honest and open up to me about vulnerable things Support me when I open up about my own vulnerable things or when I need help with things Believe and trust me, and be trustworthy themselves Divide up tasks in a fair and equitable manner Make an effort to sexually satisfy me Integrate with my family members (we are all close) Frequently do activities…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 11:00 PM
9

Some don't, but most of us do. And for most of us, clitoral stimulation is absolutely essential. In casual sex encounters, we often don't get the kind of stimulation we need in order to orgasm.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 10:38 PM
16

Dangerous people don't necessarily give off dangerous vibes. You can't tell in advance.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 10:29 PM
4

Remember, people only need uplifting slogans and affirmations if they don't feel good about themselves. People who are already comfortable with themselves and confident in their own skin don't really care about motivational content very much. We can all point to crazy entitled people on the internet who have insane standards and a grossly inflated sense of self-worth. But in the real world, I more often encounter people whose standards are not high enough and who thus date people who are all wro…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 10:23 PM
7

learn how to navigate social interactions and banter Yes, spot on, this is very important.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 09:59 PM
0

High five! I too am boring and average.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 09:29 PM
3

What a silly post. There is no bare minimum for most of the things you specify. His clothing should be tidy and well fitting, but there is no bare minimum amount of money, type of car, or job title that will guarantee he gets laid. Those aren't really on my radar when deciding who to fuck. He actually has to be an interesting and likeable person. Put effort into your people skills. Be a good conversationalist. If I go on a date with you and you make a point of mentioning your job title, fancy ca…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 09:25 PM
0

And in the context of dating I assert that these men are better examples than Tate could ever possibly hope to be. I think a greasy smear of tapeworm-infested poop would be a better role model than Andrew Tate, so despite not having any particularly strong feelings about your three proposed paragons, I'll gladly agree.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 08:01 AM
20

Great, why don't you write to the president of dating and encourage them to implement this change on all official dating paperwork.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 06:07 AM
1

Yes, you both have to be attentive and caring towards each other. even the minimal extra experience my husband has compared to me shows big differences. How so, if I may ask?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 04:40 AM
1

This is how I view things too. I don't care how many people someone has slept with (if any); I care what they are like as a person.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 04:31 AM
1

But it does matter. Low N people work with other Low N people. High N people work best together with those people, if at all. I've never found the mismatch to be an issue. Two people who like each other and are attentive/caring partners can generally work just fine together, in my experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 04:29 AM
1

I'm sorry to hear that you're sad. Breakups are hard. I hope things get better for you soon.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 04:21 AM
2

Well, I can't really comment on a situation you are thinking about in your mind, so I suppose I'll have to take your word for it. That does sound like a potentially frustrating situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 03:41 AM
2

More like intentional misrepresentation Seems like you are ascribing a motive/intention here, which you just established was a questionable practice.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/23 09:32 PM
3

I know, right? OP posts a bunch of relationship advice that seems girl-to-girl, but also posts this sycophantic screed to Andrew Tate. Their profile also indicates they are active in a subreddit dedicated to the first-year CS course at Harvard. No idea what to make of all this.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/23 09:25 PM
2

If the point you are trying to make is simply that sometimes people misinterpret each other's actions and intentions, then ... sure, that's obviously true.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/23 09:10 PM
4

"He claims he had a ham sandwich for lunch, but I suspect he really had a salami sandwich." "He had a salami sandwich for lunch." "Salami sandwich" means the same thing in both sentences. "Suspecting" doesn't change the basic meaning of the thing you are suspecting. #NotHowSyntaxWorks
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/23 08:39 PM
3

But how do women know which guys have high counts and which ones are virgins We can't know in advance, and we actually don't care all that much. Some women (not me) might be weirded out by a man who's never dated or had sex with anyone, but I don't think anyone is more impressed by a guy with 15 different partners than a guy with one or two long-term partners. Both of them had equal opportunity to develop sexual skills. Red pillers tell themselves it's attractive for them to have lots of partner…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/23 08:30 PM
10

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/ulterior An ulterior motive is literally a hidden motive.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/23 07:54 PM
13

Motives are ulterior if they are hidden. Wanting sex is a reasonable motive; it is only ulterior if you are pretending otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/23 07:25 PM
1

Then I don't see how it's objectifying to have those wants among others, and it's not equivalent to valuing someone solely for her appearance.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/23 07:19 PM
1

I meant "go for" and "want" synonymously, but fine, I don't agree that those are primary wants for all women. That wasn't even the point I was trying to get across, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/23 07:08 PM
2

I don't agree with you. I don't agree that women are all going for a rich, tall, and conventionally attractive man. But even assuming they did, doing so would not be objectifying unless they were only going for those things.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/23 07:00 PM
2

Yeah, I experienced that as a child because school is a really insular place and kids are immature, but it hasn't really been relevant in my adult life. I can't imagine how anyone could stop me from being with a particular partner as an adult. Is this a small town phenomenon? I live in a metro area with millions of people so there can't really be a single hierarchy that controls relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/23 06:38 PM
6

I'm getting it from OP's post: women apparently have an inherent value that doesn’t really need to be added to My thoughts, interests, skills, hobbies, opinions, habits, knowledge — all those are value added. I didn't come that way; they are the product of decades of self-development. To suggest that all I needed was the inherent value I was born with is to deny the value of everything I have made myself into. a hot and dumb partner is a pain I heartily agree.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/23 05:47 PM
2

Right?! I don't even argue anymore, because there's apparently nothing I can do to convince these men that I don't want the things they say I want.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/23 10:52 AM
8

They are free to value whatever they like. I am free to think it's dehumanizing. We are talking about finding a good long-term partner who meets one's needs. My needs are not met by someone who sees a woman's value as solely physical and isn't interested in her person. Women ... want attractive, tall and rich men But usually also some personal characteristics.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/23 10:37 AM
3

That's interesting. Do you often consciously think about competing with other women? I rarely think about that myself but I have no idea whether other women do.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/23 10:26 AM
0

I'm not convinced that atheism makes you more likely to be a literal turd. I guess someone should do a study on the religiosity of poop.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/23 09:01 AM
18

If you want to date a decent person with something going on in their life, you have to be a decent person with something going on in your life. But unless you have no motivations beyond finding a partner, you should already be working towards that, regardless of gender. You should have a decent job that pays your bills, or be educating yourself towards that end. You should have hobbies, interests, ideas, opinions. You should have or be developing a social network. You should have core life skill…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/23 08:40 AM
5

I'm trying to decide what kind of troll you are, and having looked at your profile, I'm actually pretty stumped. But cool LARPing, good for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/23 07:44 AM
3

Touch from men can be platonic, but I doubt that's what's going on in your case. You should set some boundaries with your friend and make it clear that his behaviour makes you uncomfortable.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/23 01:08 AM
2

OP specifically asked how common this is. How else do you expect me to answer that question except by stating my experience? There isn't survey data on this question. I don't doubt that it has happened somewhere sometime; almost everything has. But no, I don't think it's very common.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 09:42 PM
6

It strikes me as mildly exploitative of the desperation of women in the developing world, but my feelings on that aren't strong enough that I'd do more than roll my eyes, unless there were evidence that the passport bro was actually mistreating his partner. Ultimately, I have more to worry about in my life than who other people are consensually fucking.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 09:29 PM
–

I do argue against those. I don't think all men are trash.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 09:23 PM
1

People vet not only initially but also continuously. So if someone is initially attractive because they're hot and you start something with them, you can still dump them three dates in when they demonstrate terrible behaviour. I agree that some people are better at vetting than others, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 09:21 PM
1

"Settling" in dating usually refers to deciding to stay with someone long-term despite being unhappy. The example given was about deciding what restaurant to go to, and had nothing to do with decisions to remain together in the long term. https://www.google.com/search?q=settling+in+dating&oq=settling+in+dating&aqs=chrome..69i57j0i390i650l3.6355j1j4&client=ms-android-samsung-rvo1&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 09:05 PM
1

Easier to have a handbag boyfriend if you don't actually have to sleep with them. Maybe, but I think it's primarily a maturity thing. Tween and young teen girls are very status driven and jockey for power amongst themselves in stupid petty ways, but most people grow out of it by the time they're adults. Dating someone solely for a status boost is pretty immature, not something most adults do (though surely there are exceptions).
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 12:28 PM
3

Idolising women and putting them on a pedestal and thinking you’re their only defence against a big, bad world doesn’t make you a feminist. Yeah, it's what they call "benevolent sexism," and it's just the flip side of overt, hostile sexism. Hard pass on people who think this way.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 12:19 PM
8

Male feminists/Simps are often sexually and romantically inexperienced Have you done a survey? Most of the pro-feminist men I know have a normal amount of sexual and romantic experience. These men seem to think that women are angels: that is obviously not true, there is a good, bad and ugly in all humans regardless of gender. Congrats on making a strawman and then knocking it down. I know literally no one who denies that there are shitty people of all genders. And I would be very suspicious of a…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 12:13 PM
1

Yeah, I would call that compromise rather than settling, but we both agree that people ought to do some of that.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 11:41 AM
1

Noted!
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 11:40 AM
12

Males don’t even attempt to vet. I agree with most of your comment, but I'm not sure this part is accurate. Most men I know in real life do actually vet their partners, as do most women. I have yet to meet a person who would enter into a relationship with literally anyone who's willing.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 11:35 AM
16

I still have sympathy for people (of any gender) who entered into relationships with obviously crappy people. Sometimes infatuation makes you minimize the red flags that you see. It's not a good idea, but humans make mistakes. I am generally pretty sympathetic to humans making (non-violent) mistakes. But yes, I agree with you that almost everyone has dated a dud at some point. I know I have.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 11:30 AM
3

I think of settling as being with someone you are unhappy with because it's convenient or easy. I don't think people should do that; it's a recipe for misery. But we all have to be willing to compromise on some of the things we want in order to adjust to having another person in our lives. That's a fundamental relationship skill, and people who can't manage it are either horribly abusive (if they're good manipulators) or have very short-lived and volatile relationships (if they aren't). I agree …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 11:20 AM
7

You can’t get everything you want. There’s a very high likelihood there’s nobody out there that’s absolutely everything you want, and also into you. I wouldn't even call this settling, unless you think that every human relationship is an instance of settling. You will never, ever find a partner who is perfect for you, unless they start making very realistic bespoke robots. I don't need my partner to be perfect; I just need our relationship to be functional and enjoyable for both of us.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 11:06 AM
3

Best response.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 10:34 AM
4

The link I provided looks at men from 18-30 in 2018 and 2020. That's the same period you were quoting in your post. Why do you think the article isn't relevant to you when it's the same time period you are citing?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 10:31 AM
2

Never done, never seen it. It's not at all common. Most people experience normal human emotions like love.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 10:06 AM
16

Hell, the 2022 PEW research study in conjunction with another study in 2018 suggest that 30-40% of men might be entering into their 30s as virgins. According to this analysis, only 1.9% of men aged 25 - 30 have never had sex: https://datepsychology.com/are-27-of-young-men-really-virgins-and-why I'll let you read that and make of it what you will, but 30-40% is ludicrous. A lot of men will be lacking in a lot of these areas and won't be able to pick up the women that have red flags. Yet apparentl…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 09:58 AM
2

Thanks, I appreciate hearing this. ❤️
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 09:45 AM
0

Yeah, it's pretty overwhelming and appalling. I hope they remain incels. No woman should have to be subjected to their awfulness.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 05:43 AM
6

They're super cute! If you're worried about their safety and survival after you leave (which is rational because cats that live outside tend to have short lives), could you reach out to a local cat rescue? In many areas, there are tons of rescues that are happy to take in and care for stray cats, particularly if they're young and somewhat friendly. I'm really glad you're taking care of them in the meantime. 🙂 Here's another kitten pic, because I love showing everyone how cute they are! <image>
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 05:36 AM
-2

That's because a lot of the positions we are arguing against are so extreme. It's hard for women to have differing opinions on the merits of, for example, "Women are gold-digging whores with no emotional depth who will all cheat on you."
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 05:24 AM
7

<image> Orange cats are adorbs! Very glad they have someone looking out for them. <3
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 05:11 AM
9

Mostly it sucked because unfettered misogyny is tiresome. But I did post some pictures of my foster kittens, which was pleasing. I think you should modify the sub rules to allow kitten pics.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 04:53 AM
7

I'm here to help But not really, because you haven't actually listed any traits.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 03:57 AM
8

I don't know, because people have different ideas on what constitutes femininity. More to the point, you listed a whole bunch of traits for men that could similarly be summarized as "masculine," but you spelled them out to make one list much longer than the other.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 03:43 AM
1

I've never met him or paid much attention to him so I couldn't say. It is a bit questionable that he only dates people half his age, but I don't have any information on how he actually treats his partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 03:40 AM
-3

Women that check other women get called pickmes and receive a lot of personal insults for going against the hive mind. This has never been my experience when I disagree with women's actions or ideas.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 03:36 AM
8

The only reason your list for women is so short is that you haven't spelled out what you mean by "feminine."
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 03:34 AM
7

Yeah, I would like him to be smart, handsome, educated, and have no red flags. And an additional one not mentioned for some reason: I would like him to respect me and treat me as an equal.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 03:33 AM
12

But he's already getting some pussy because of this post! <image>
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 11:02 PM
2

Omg they're so gorgeous! 😻😻😻 Here's another kitten pic: <image>
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 10:55 PM
4

I agree with you so here are some gratuitous kittens. <image>
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 10:45 PM
1

Ah, that makes more sense, glad to hear it. (Btw I agree with your flair!)
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 10:28 PM
3

You too? Sending hugs, I hope your health takes a turn for the better. ❤️
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 10:27 PM
5

women do not experience ... financial scarcity, men solve both of those problems Feel free to solve my financial scarcity anytime you like, men.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 09:43 PM
–

But they have to urn it!
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 09:35 PM
5

I'm very ill right now, and this conveniently distracts me from all the actual problems in my life.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 09:31 PM
1

That sucks, yikes. Glad we don't have anything like that in women's bathrooms.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 09:26 PM
1

Wait, is that really a thing that happens in men's bathrooms?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 09:21 PM
1

Accurate, things were so much better when we were constantly threatened by sharks.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 09:08 PM
9

It's silly and I see it as a red flag, because it means you can't look at someone sexually and also see them as a whole person. I want the person I'm with to see me sexually because that's an important part of my identity, but also see me as someone to respect, admire, and cherish. If you can't do both of those things at the same time, I don't want you in my life.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 09:07 PM
6

The stereotype we have constructed of Asian people — as meek, in other words — is racist.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 08:47 PM
2

Except that living in a domestic partnership prior to marriage is quite similar to marriage and much of the knowledge is transferable, whereas fapping to porn is not very similar to sex at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 08:48 AM
9

Why is that? Racism, mostly. Our racist society has (wrongly) constructed an image of Asian people as meek, which makes white men interested in Asian women but hinders Asian men who try to date white women, because of the way our society views gender norms. I think it's silly.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 08:41 AM
15

I haven't noticed anyone I know caring about height more than usual. Some people do, others don't.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 07:20 AM
-1

This is a stupid post, because indeed, we are not entitled to an animal's corpse. Meat is even less of a need than sex is. I like meat. But if someone told me I couldn't have it again unless I personally hunted an animal, I would shrug and eat more chickpeas.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 07:03 AM
1

I think your best bet is to avoid toxic people instead of trying to fix them.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 03:01 AM
–

I've never seen that happen, but you never know.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 02:44 AM
–

Can her friends hold her accountable? Sure. Will it make her change? Maybe, everybody's different, but I wouldn't hold my breath. It's very hard to get through to abusive people. I think the abusive woman would most likely just cut her friend off and tell everyone else a skewed story about what happened. But maybe it would help, you never know.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 01:12 AM
–

Higher than what?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 12:48 AM
–

Then I would be disgusted and not want to be friends with her.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 12:26 AM
2

I wouldn't (and haven't) been bothered by men stating they don't have much sexual experience. Sex is learnable. I'd recommend reading about sex topics in advance so that you have some idea of how to approach a woman's body. You can learn quite a lot from books / sites with tips.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 12:18 AM
–

<image>
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 12:06 AM
1

I agree that they are just as entitled, but only because I think neither are entitled to these things.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/23 11:50 PM
–

I can't imagine why the ladies aren't flocking to this stud.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/23 11:49 PM
–

I am not aware of any of my female friends abusing their partners. If any of them are abusive, then they are very good at hiding it. I did tell a female friend that she should just end her relationship, which she didn't want to be in, instead of continuing to cheat on her partner. She listened to me ... eventually. But it took some persuading.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/23 11:45 PM
19

If they want to end up starving and homeless, they are welcome to, but it's not going to make any women more willing to have sex with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/23 11:25 PM
4

I'm so glad to hear this! Wishing you the best in conquering your demons and finding what you want in life. ❤️
/r/ExRedPill13/06/23 05:42 AM
15

It sounds like the childhood bullying you experienced has taken a toll on your ability to trust people — which is perfectly understandable! You went through some legitimately difficult experiences that were unfair and never should have happened. I'm so sorry. What you experienced as a child was a form of trauma. Persistent bullying for many years is a traumatic experience for anyone. I think if you can loosen the grip of trauma on your psyche, you'll be in a much better position to trust people …
/r/ExRedPill13/06/23 12:54 AM
1

I don't know what her height and weight are; we just happened to be talking about issues with BMI at some point and she mentioned she was in the overweight category. She's on the taller side, but I'm bad at estimating height. She's white.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/23 08:28 AM
–

I'm not sure it's that rare. I have a female cousin who falls into the overweight category; she does running cross-country skiing as hobbies. Not a professional athlete but still in that category. She has very low body fat. Or rather, she does normally. She just had a baby so I imagine she has more body fat than usual right now.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/23 08:22 AM
–

There are going to be some extremely athletic women (and men) who fall in the "overweight" category of the BMI despite having very low body fat. One of the reasons BMI is not always a reliable indicator of health.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/23 07:57 AM
–

Same as with anyone else: some I find attractive, some don't do anything for me. I don't feel repulsed by people so long as they are hygienic and lack suppurating wounds.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/23 05:08 AM
2

When a women is aroused, her vagina lubricates in preparation for sex. So being wet means being aroused.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/23 04:14 AM
–

I am not more desirable than average, but I'll answer your question anyway. Ongoing situationships with multiple partners is my nightmare, mostly for logistical reasons. I am simply not well organized enough to manage this. It would be more stressful than fun. And relationships are nice. I like love. I like commitment. I like having someone to share my life with. I like my partner, who is really great. I'll take the relationship option.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/23 02:14 AM
–

What's your opinion of revoking consent after the fact? I think that's rarely what actually happened.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/23 02:02 AM
2

Yes, I would characterize an incel as a misogynist who doesn't get laid.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 11:37 PM
12

men are not attractive, the majority of men arent rich, men are bad at what women call sex. "What women call sex"? What does that mean? Anyway, men are attractive. Some are good at sex; I try to date those ones. Most are not rich but I'm not dating them for their money. When men are very unappealing, aggressive and horny, and evil. This is a silly caricature of men. They are mostly not evil, they're just regular people. Some of them are aggressive; I avoid those ones. It's fine if they're horny.…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 10:38 PM
–

I mean, I still think people should have relationships, but they should definitely also have cats and vibrators. Guys I have four tiny 6-week-old foster kittens right now. Maybe all these red pill dudes would be less angry if they spent more time with kittens? Nobody is immune to the heart-melting cuteness of kittens.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 09:10 PM
1

I'm glad therapy and your inner work have helped you so much! It takes so much work to figure out what a normal childhood should look like and be able to identify what about certain relationships makes them unhealthy. I have a number of friends who are in the same situation and are finally figuring that stuff out now too. I'm really happy for you and impressed with your grit, because I know it's really hard to do this. I hope anyone reading this who's in the same situation — had a difficult chil…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 09:02 PM
–

Not unknown, but not what most people want.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 11:37 AM
–

Why carp about it?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 11:36 AM
–

For me, no, it's not cheating. It's a masturbation aid; my partner is free to use those, as do I. If someone wants to define it as cheating within their own relationship, they can do that, but I wouldn't want to date them.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 11:34 AM
–

I would say so, yes. Sorry, bud, constipation sucks. Try drinking more water, eating a bunch of fibre, and doing some exercise. If it doesn't improve in a day or two, polyethylene glycol is a fairly gentle laxative that usually helps.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 11:28 AM
–

Yeah, I've never really understood the point of putting on music. It doesn't put me in the mood; I'm not likely to notice it while I'm having sex. I guess it's useful if one is loud (which, admittedly, I am told that I am) and has fussy neighbours and thin walls (which, thankfully, I presently do not).
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 11:20 AM
–

Few men are flattered when a woman tells them that she doesn't feel sexually attracted to him, but he is great husband material. How is he great husband material if she isn't sexually attractive to her? Those are inconsistent things, unless by that she means, "He would be good husband material for someone else who found him attractive."
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 11:13 AM
–

Or women with a mental health diagnosis, for many of them. And nix any women who've had sex with more than a handful of guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 11:00 AM
–

Being accepting and not shallow, I suppose.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 10:48 AM
2

What is easy and hard is defined by how much of the overall population can achieve it in this context. NOT what is SUPPOSEDLY easy or hard. Then given that most women do not have a high number of sexual partners, it must not be very easy at all. Perhaps we should value it.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 10:07 AM
2

That sucks, I'm sorry. Attacking people for their sexual history is a low blow and no one should do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 10:03 AM
3

Easy things to do are considered not valuable. It's really easy for a parent to hug their child every night and tell them they love them. Is that not valuable? Edit: And I suppose the real question is, what should we value?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 09:16 AM
3

Why is desire evil? Why would you not be respected while also being desired?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 09:15 AM
2

Infamy is not celebration.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 08:18 AM
1

Can you elaborate? I'm not sure what you mean.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 08:17 AM
3

judging her for allowing herself to be penetrated This presupposes it is bad for her to have sex, which isn't very helpful as an explanation. You're basically saying "they judge her because she did a thing that is worthy of judgment." Yes, but why?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 07:13 AM
2

The penis corrupts How so?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 06:24 AM
0

Then why do they slut-shame her instead of him?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 06:18 AM
4

Where's the incentive to do that hard work when guys constantly orbit you and always tell you what you want to hear just to get in your panties. The incentive is avoiding relationships with people who callously hurt you.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 05:37 AM
34

"I have bad taste in men" is something people say after the fact. The problem is that they don't realize it soon enough. It's not always easy to tell in advance who's going to be a shitty partner. Many toxic people are really good at hiding their issues and manipulating others to seem great. And you can do your best to look for red flags, but it's not always enough. I think a lot of people with complex PTSD have difficulty identifying problematic behaviour because it all seems normal to them. Th…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 05:02 AM
13

How in ever loving christ can't women get it through their heads that we aren't talking about "online"??? OP's own examples of this phenomenon are people being talked about online, so I'm pretty sure that is what we're talking about.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 02:33 AM
10

I agree that we shouldn't shame anyone for not having had sex. I never do. Identifying as an incel, though, is more than just not having sex. It's a movement, an ideology, and it's horrifically misogynistic. It's okay to shame people for spewing misogyny.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 02:20 AM
4

Totally. This argument drives me nuts because it makes no sense. The converse is: It's pretty hard to become an effective serial killer. Should we celebrate people for it? The easier/harder thing isn't an explanation, it's a diversion tactic.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 02:16 AM
1

Aw, thank you, I'll give her some extra belly-rubs from you. ❤️
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 02:06 AM
2

I'm not sure how to answer this in a way that is specific to my family, because this wouldn't happen with my father. Generally my relationship with my father is good, and anyway, if he's really mad, he just gets up and leaves. He doesn't really get aggressive. If anyone were saying cruel, insulting, abusive things to me, I would want my partner to speak up in my defence. If the situation were dangerous, I would want him to help me de-escalate. If we're just disagreeing about a topic, I can carry…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 01:23 AM
21

I've spent my whole life being called heinous shit by men online for a plethora of reasons. You know what I do in those situations? I block them and move on with my life because I don't care what they think. More people should try it. Absolutely this. It's like these men think somehow women on the internet don't get criticized? Like, ask any female journalist or blogger how many death or rape threats she received today. Especially if they wrote something involving gender relations.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 12:53 AM
2

Not weird at all. For me, I would mind the sex with someone else a little bit, but I'd get over it. It would mainly be the dishonesty that would really get to me. That's what I would consider to be the real betrayal.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 12:43 AM
3

Anecdotally, most of my female friends who are fat, even ones who are very fat, find people who are into their particular body shape if they have attractive faces. There are plenty of men who prefer fat women. Myself, as a woman who also finds women attractive, I think many of the women in your photos are quite attractive. I wouldn't say fat women are my type generally, but in some individuals a more voluptuous body can be very attractive. It really depends on the person.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 12:33 AM
12

What's with "female women"? 🙄 Would I forgive my partner for cheating? It would depend on the circumstances but ... probably? I tend to be forgiving in relationships. It would really, really hurt, though. Whether we'd be able to come back from that would depend on how willing my partner was to try to work on our relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/23 11:45 PM
2

Yeah, I'd recommend staying away from incel content for a while, ignoring all the cynical red pill stuff, and just living your life assuming the people around you are acting in good faith unless you have actual evidence otherwise. Most of these horror stories are corner cases. People in real life are just doing their best to get by and find people attractive who aren't rich and gorgeous, but are just regular people. Men, women, we're all just people and we're more alike than we are different.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/23 09:22 PM
1

Thanks! :)
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/23 09:17 PM
-7

Consistently? I'm a woman online, and I don't say that. I've seen many other women indicate that they also disagree with that. How do you know you're not just dealing with confirmation bias?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/23 11:37 AM
6

How do you know what my friends on social media say? I'm not disputing that women like her exist; I'm just saying that seeing the occasional video like this doesn't demonstrate that her attitude represents a majority of women on the left. She's no more qualified to speak for the majority of left-leaning women than I am, and I would say something different, so why is nobody rushing to conclusions based on what I say? (Also I'm not yet convinced of her leftist bona fides. She could very well be on…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/23 11:35 AM
1

Really, have you never thought about that? I feel like most people do at some point, but maybe my perspective is skewed.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/23 11:24 AM
7

Tell her you're actually into animals and you have a pony you'd like her to meet.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/23 11:20 AM
2

Are you saying this based on knowing more about her, or just speculating?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/23 10:55 AM
21

Feel free to ask questions if something isn't clear. Your entire post isn't clear because you have given us zero specifics.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/23 10:47 AM
27

It's not repulsive to be friends with people of any age, provided you treat your friends with decency and respect. Very young women may find it repulsive to be hit on or leered at by much older men. Doesn't sound like you're doing that, though. Your age range for dating seems reasonable. Just make sure that when you're out, if you get clear signs someone doesn't want to be bothered by you, leave them alone. You'll be fine. No need to become a hermit.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/23 10:46 AM
4

Just like most women, they seem to only like traditionally masculine men(both on looks and actions) Hard pass on traditional men. Some random woman on TikTok doesn't speak for all of us.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/23 09:16 AM
4

That makes lots of sense, and I'm glad you're taking a healthier approach to dating! Things in the real world are a lot different from how they're presented in this sub.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/23 09:13 AM
2

One of my cats does have many grievances (well, mostly "you haven't fed me yet") that she airs to us, but she runs away from all other people. She's kind of the Fran Drescher of cats. She's absolutely beautiful but her voice sounds like what you'd get if you told Marge Simpson to meow. She's very sweet, though. Super affectionate, a really gentle soul. She's a scaredy cat — it took us weeks before we could get near her when we first got her — but once she trusts you she's a darling. Cats are gre…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/23 08:53 AM
1

Yeah, we're pretty lucky in that our cats tend to like other cats, once they've gotten over the initial new-cat suspicion. It would be much harder to foster with cats that don't like other cats, unless you have a very large space and can keep the fosters separate. Our kittens are still in a separate room because they have to be quarantined upon arrival (they were strays). But we're going to start the introduction process tomorrow. Hopefully it'll go relatively smoothly.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/23 07:27 AM
2

Haha, sorry to malign you! I love cats too. We've got three of our own cats and we also foster for a local rescue. Right at this very moment I have four tiny foster kittens crawling all over me. The cuteness is insane!
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/23 07:16 AM
2

You must be a dog person. Cats initially dislike everyone. (Well, not all cats, of course. One of my cats is not remotely shy and likes everyone immediately, but the others are suspicious of newcomers and hide whenever anyone enters the house.)
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/23 06:46 AM
-3

Some people will agree with almost any proposition you put forward, no matter how ridiculous, regardless of its popularity in the population at large.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/23 06:31 AM
2

More proof that one modern woman... FTFY
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/23 05:40 AM
5

"Liberal" and "conservative" are relative terms. I am not convinced I would find this woman very liberal. I haven't dated men who would self-identify as conservative. I don't think I could stomach such a vast difference in values.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/23 04:48 AM
10

Then why don't older women complain about ALL predatory men? Older women only complain about age gaps. We do. We complain about abusive partners and predatory men all the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/23 07:29 PM
1

They always show women say they like above average height, fitness, facial beauty etc Most people prefer above-average appearance. That doesn't mean that average is unacceptable, not does it mean that women are not attracted to their long-term partners. You're just making that up.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/23 07:19 PM
1

Someone posted this article last night, before it got taken down. Among other things, it argues against the 80/20 rule. https://datepsychology.com/are-27-of-young-men-really-virgins-and-why/ ETA: Also this one. https://datepsychology.com/male-attractiveness-and-sexual-partner-count/
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/23 06:46 PM
1

You don't have to be the same to have an equal relationship. Either party can leave at any time, thus in an ultimate sense it is precisely equal. Are you denying that abuse exists? That coercive control is a thing? That sometimes there are reasons why people can't leave an abusive relationship (fear of violence, financial dependence, fear of losing access to children, stigma of divorce in some traditional communities, even just being manipulated and worn down psychologically)?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/23 06:43 PM
2

It's either equal or it's not. Don't care how softly someone exerts control. It all amounts to the same thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/23 01:31 PM
2

Well, I have encountered some exceptionally intelligent people with dyslexia who can't spell for shit. It would be a shame to exclude them, so I wouldn't suggest making that a hard and fast rule. It is reasonable to disqualify people who are kind of dumb. You'll have to use your best judgement to assess whether the person is otherwise smart.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/23 11:18 AM
3

After going to court to escape her father's tyranny, do you really think she's going to want to let a different man control her life?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/23 10:09 AM
4

Plenty of people would love to ordered around like a servant and berated for making minor, easily correctable mistakes?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/23 09:18 AM
6

It's weird how many women genuinely think that just because most older men are in relationships that they are found attractive by their partners. It's weird that you think they're not, based on basically just dogma. Might be because their experience with relationship is just so different from men. Then wouldn't we be in a better position than you to assess whether we are attracted to our long-term partners? However when a girl dates a guy, it could be for a number of reasons. Literally every tim…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/23 09:15 AM
2

That's pretty creepy. I'd be weirded out by a comment like that. How long have you been dating? Have you seen a lot of this kind of comment?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/23 09:02 AM
6

I'm not sure how else to answer you. I just have a conversation with them and see how quickly they can think on their feet, how insightful they are, whether they say anything clever, etc. The same way one normally gets a feel for someone's intelligence. How else would I do it? I don't pull out a standardized test on the first date. ETA: Actually, with my current partner it wasn't quite that way. He's shy and so he didn't talk a huge amount at first, but we did a cryptic crossword together and he…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/23 08:58 AM
6

By talking to them, generally.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/23 08:39 AM
–

It’s a myth that bisexual men are less common than bisexual woman . I believe the population of bisexual men and bisexual woman are equal Do you have any data source backing up your claim that it's a myth, or are you just stating your feelings as though they are facts?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/23 05:52 AM
–

Your attempt at sounding fancy is amateurish and irritating. It also obfuscates your message so I have no idea what point you're trying to make. If it's just that normal guys are okay, then sure. And she will be a sheath for thou sword. Thy sword ffs. Don't use archaic pronouns if you don't even know what they mean.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/23 05:38 AM
–

I don't care at all about height. Broad shoulders aren't necessary but they are pleasant. I guess I'll go with broad shoulders if I have to pick one.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/23 05:32 AM
7

Definitely would pass on getting married to King Midas.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/23 02:42 AM
4

I wouldn't exactly call Midas's domains an empire (if he even existed at all).
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/23 02:41 AM
16

scold me like a child Honestly, I would be pretty alarmed to see a child treated this way too.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/23 02:04 AM
46

It really does. It's sickening to think of women being in this situation. Pretty disgusting that OP's reaction was basically, "great, how can I get in on this?"
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/23 01:55 AM
100

Not for any amount of money. Your uncle is abusive and has rendered several women too afraid of him, and too convinced of their own worthlessness, to speak up in their own defence. Congratulations, I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/23 01:32 AM
2

Thank you for sharing this. It's really valuable to hear your perspective on this. I completely agree with you about how toxic it is to talk about people who've suffered abuse as though they are permanently damaged or worth less. To the contrary, not many people are as strong, thoughtful, and insightful as you clearly are.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/23 01:19 AM
7

If the abusive person was manipulative, they likely spent years undermining those outside messages and convincing the impressionable child that everything that happened was the child's fault. That kind of brainwashing isn't easy to undo. I don't judge anyone for failing to realize that their parent or caregiver is abusing them. Most adults I know who were severely abused by their parents in childhood really didn't realize it until many, many years later. It may seem obvious from the outside, but…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/23 12:39 AM
6

Probably a variety of reasons: regular contact with people outside the family unit who model healthy behaviour; self-awareness and/or therapy; intrinsic personality traits; circumstances that make some people able to get out more easily than others. I'm glad you were able to recognize the abuse around you and not propagate it. ETA: I would like to point out that not everyone who serially dates abusers will go on to abuse their kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/23 12:22 AM
7

Conversely, I've fucked a bunch of people and I like my father. I grew up in a loving family home. I don't think it's reasonable to make assumptions about why any particular person is having or not having sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 11:08 PM
6

these men on here claim to have infinite amounts of sex LOL are we on the same sub? Most of the men around here are bitter about being rejected by women.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 11:05 PM
7

Being horny doesn't mean you want sex with every single eligible person in the world. We reject advances from men we're not interested in, which is a normal and reasonable thing to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 11:00 PM
7

Since never? It's superficial to only care about appearance, but it's fine to want to be physically attracted to your partner. All of us want that.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 10:52 PM
13

0.01%, yet another rectally sourced statistic. Personally I find a substantial majority of men physically attractive enough to date, if you ignore all other factors going into attraction (for me, intelligence is the main one, and I have exclusionary criteria based on values).
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 10:44 PM
16

There are all sorts of reasons why people (of any gender) make the sexual decisions they do. Some people use sex as a coping mechanism; others are just enjoying themselves and exploring their sexuality. Conversely, some people avoid having sex because it brings up trauma; others don't have sex because they are asexual or they just haven't found the right person yet. I don't think you can really make a lot of broad generalizations about people's life experiences and general well-being based solel…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 10:32 PM
4

Yes, but some people don't know that and thus don't.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 09:40 PM
1

so maybe we have a chance to chat with some biddy that’s been ran through 🙄🙄🙄 You complain about lack of matches, but you disparage people who might match with you? Good luck out there, bud.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 09:27 PM
–

Well, it's still very much possible to find people outside of OLD! I personally hate OLD too and most of my relationships have been with people I met in person.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 09:19 PM
–

No, I would say a substantial majority of men in my age bracket are physically attractive enough for me to date. It's just a matter of whether we have a rapport and I find them interesting and intelligent. OLD is a weird, artificial environment. Don't put too much store by your successes there.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 09:11 PM
8

Just dont cum inside a woman and there wont be any abortions. It is still possible (though unlikely) for a woman to get pregnant from the small amount of sperm that can sometimes be present in precum (leftover from the last ejaculation).
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 09:07 PM
2

No, all of that is incorrect. It comes from the National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey, which samples from the general US population. It defines rape as follows: Rape is any completed or attempted unwanted vaginal (for women), oral, or anal penetration through the use of physical force (such as being pinned or held down, or by the use of violence) or threats to physically harm and includes when the victim was too drunk, high, drugged, or passed out and unable to consent. Rape is se…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 08:19 PM
-1

I'm sorry you've gone through such difficult experiences. I'm a bit confused by this though. This statistic is for attempted or completed rape. Their research does look at all kinds of sexual violence, but that's not what this particular statistic is measuring. What do you feel is problematic about their methodology?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 07:48 PM
0

I 100% agree. It's unacceptable.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 06:22 PM
–

Yes, of course love exists. What a silly question! And no, healthy relationships are not transactional. If yours is, something is wrong. Other questions: Generally relationship sex is better because you know each other's bodies. Dating partners hookups sometimes just happen, and sometimes need to be set up; there are many ways two people can find themselves together. I don't recognize a concept called "hoe phase"; some people experiment sexually, others don't, and this can happen for any number …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 10:04 AM
–

you must really hate capitalism I do, yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 09:51 AM
3

I had a male professor in undergrad — not a scientist; he taught literature — who crossdressed on campus sometimes and nobody really gave a shit. If you're good at your job, eventually you can get to the point where you can do what you like. My professional dream is to one day be established enough that I can get away with looking frumpy.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 07:02 AM
11

men would be not taken seriously at all if he did the same I don't really take women who are into horoscopes and crystals very seriously either.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 06:58 AM
25

What work environment are you in where women can wear onesies? Can I join? That's the dream.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 06:51 AM
5

It specifically says "sexual violence involving physical contact." Do you think that's too wide?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 03:18 AM
3

Here's the full paragraph: Over half of women and almost 1 in 3 men have experienced sexual violence involving physical contact during their lifetimes. One in 4 women and about 1 in 26 men have experienced completed or attempted rape. About 1 in 9 men were made to penetrate someone during his lifetime. Additionally, 1 in 3 women and about 1 in 9 men experienced sexual harassment in a public place.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 02:58 AM
5

It's far better than a peer review research You lost me right here.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 02:55 AM
2

https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/sexualviolence/fastfact.html One in 4 women and about 1 in 26 men have experienced completed or attempted rape. About 1 in 9 men were made to penetrate someone during his lifetime.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 02:47 AM
–

I asked you to cite a source, not name some empires. (I already responded to the post above about Cleopatra, and how the lore about her sexual proclivities is largely fictional.)
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 02:44 AM
1

I think that's the idea, yes. Several steps beyond sex tourism (which itself can be very problematic depending on the specific details).
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 02:14 AM
7

You wrote "absurdly low number."
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 02:13 AM
–

No, I find it hard to believe because I have not seen any credible sources attesting to this as a widespread phenomenon. If you have sources that do, feel free to post them.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 02:05 AM
6

Slow drift toward absurdity: 1 in [absurdly low number] women have been you-know-whatted There is some conflict in the data depending on methodology, but I wouldn't really call it absurd to cite rape statistics put out by sources like the CDC.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 02:02 AM
5

I'm not talking about fucking a local while you're on vacation, which, unsurprisingly, is a thing that happens. I'm talking about specifically going to a third-world country to get a husband or wife, as the passport bros do, because you don't like the partners available to you in your country of origin.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 01:53 AM
–

Cleopatra's supposed sexual exploits are largely fictional: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/6osrnp/cleopatra_is_pretty_infamous_for_her_sexual/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button Catherine the Great had a number of lovers, but they were upper class men, not slaves: https://www.esquire.com/entertainment/tv/a29505224/catherine-the-great-hbo-helen-mirren-sex-life-grigory-potemkin-husband-true-story/
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 01:48 AM
1

It seems you lack the discernment to understand the context in which a statement is made and its role in an argument.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 12:19 AM
–

its something unethical Why do you believe so? women had their sex slaves too Which women? When? I can’t find any reason why they claim that prostitutions and pornography is just evil men controlling women bodies Do you deny that sex trafficking and pimping exist? I am not inherently against pornography or prostitution, but it's pretty disingenuous to claim that they do not at least sometimes involve men controlling women's bodies.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 12:16 AM
2

No, not a joke, a rhetorical device whose purpose is not to mock people who are already down (as many jokes do), but rather to demonstrate the absurdity of one idea by comparing it to another one that will strike almost everyone as wrong/bad/absurd. She's bringing this idea up precisely because it is universally considered to be a terrible idea and nobody would ever seriously suggest it.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 12:06 AM
11

How many women have you heard of that travel to third-world countries specifically so that they can get a husband (or wife), because they don't like the ones in the US?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 11:58 PM
5

This is not a serious suggestion, it's a reductio ad absurdum.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 11:54 PM
1

To be honest, I likely wouldn't have asked him the first favour to begin with. I struggle a lot with asking people for assistance with things, even when they're more than willing to help me. I have to be pretty close to someone to feel comfortable doing that. If he volunteered to help me a few times, I would be immensely grateful, but I would feel guilty if it got to be a regular thing and I wasn't in a position to reciprocate.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 07:19 PM
1

I don't think most people see their casual sex partner as an abstract concept.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 07:13 PM
1

I thought about this for a while because it's an interesting point. I don't quite think we're talking about the same thing. I took "didn't know how to say no in these situations" to mean "had difficulty asserting boundaries"; whereas what you're describing, "couldn't say no," I would take to mean "could not exercise self-control." I can deeply relate to having difficulty asserting boundaries; that's something I struggle with too. I don't relate quite so much to not being able to exercise self-co…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 07:09 PM
2

I've definitely encountered creepy women — kind of stalkery/obsessive, says weird stuff that makes you uncomfortable, won't take no for an answer, ignores boundaries. Similar to what makes a man creepy.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 06:32 PM
1

Silliness and role play are consistent with me being my own person and being seen as such by my partner. Role play is a game, and we both agree on it.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 12:18 PM
2

I'm pretty easy to please in general, but being viewed as not my own person is not something I find pleasing.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 10:14 AM
3

Then I would think that's awfully kind of him, although I would be unlikely to ask him for many favours.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 10:12 AM
2

So basically just someone who is helpful and generous towards me? Am I dating this hypothetical simp or are they just a rando?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 10:06 AM
2

How are you defining "simp" for purposes of this exercise?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 09:56 AM
3

It is certainly a lot better (to most, not all, women) than telling them you were just my fucktoy for the night. It doesn't seem better to me. It would feel like an erasure of my personhood. Casual sex doesn't inherently make me feel used, but I think that would make me feel used. I just feel like, if you want to fuck me, you need to fuck me — me as an individual choosing this, not me as a symbol of something. I'm not a concept, I'm just me.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 09:46 AM
7

I don't think I would ever want someone I'm fucking to think of me as representing the abstract concept of womanhood. That feels kind of icky.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 09:26 AM
3

Then you are endorsing the term.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 09:17 AM
4

So women want to be seen as trophy. Hard pass on being seen as a trophy.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 09:15 AM
1

That's not implausible to me. It's really hard to say no sometimes, especially since women are socialized to be agreeable at all costs. It sounds like it should be easy but in practice it's often not. Did she seem sincere when she said this? Because it could be true, or it could just be her telling you a story. I'm not sure which of those is more likely because I haven't met her and didn't observe her body language. If what she says is true, that could indicate she's going through a difficult pe…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 09:13 AM
2

I am unable to process it mentally as to why Did you ask her why?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 08:39 AM
2

How about "lowers the chances of losing a lot of assets in a divorce"? Perfectly understandable, way less gross.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 08:34 AM
23

Meh, been there, done that. I'm in a long-term relationship now. If I were single, I guess if the opportunity arose to have casual sex and it seemed worth bothering for, I'd probably do it, because why not. But it's not something I would specifically be looking for.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 08:09 AM
9

Polyamory isn't very common and likely makes little difference in the overall marriage rate.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 06:22 AM
8

Probably the decline has more to do with the fact that unmarried cohabitation was frowned upon 50 years ago, but it's socially acceptable now.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 06:12 AM
4

Yikes. Good breakup!
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 03:12 AM
8

It sounds like you should not have a child.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 02:13 AM
6

So you want women to reject men for their height now?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 01:51 AM
1

Are tall woman biologically unattractive or culturally unattractive? I don't think a bunch of randos on the internet will be able to resolve this scientific question for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 10:22 PM
2

The stereotype of women disliking that their partner games likely originates from exactly what I was describing: men who neglect all their responsibilities and are not emotionally present because they game to a degree that is pathological and interferes with other areas of life. In which case, these women are justified in taking issue with gaming. But you seem really hellbent on believing that all women are harpies who hate fun, and nothing I say is likely to convince you otherwise, so it's prob…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 07:47 PM
2

I don't know, you'll have to ask the user above. I am skeptical of them as well but I'm playing along.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 07:39 PM
2

We don't know if OP of this comment train is a handsome fella who was also a virgin, this is sometimes a turn on for women For me at least, not really that much. Extra handsomeness has little effect on my orgasms.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 07:28 PM
2

Yes, I absolutely agree it's totally normal for some women to take 30 minutes to orgasm. Each body is different and for some it genuinely takes that long.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 07:20 PM
7

That's possible, but also, some women just have a harder time orgasming than others. Personally I orgasm fairly easily, but not everyone does.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 11:41 AM
17

Yeah, I find that entirely plausible, especially given she was quite young and probably didn't have the wherewithal to advocate for herself and her pleasure in sexual contexts, and she needed 30 minutes of oral to reach orgasm. I don't see a lot of ONS partners putting in 30 minutes of sustained effort to get their partner to come, nor do I see a very young woman having the gumption to insist on that, especially since she had never come with a partner before and probably didn't even know whether…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 11:38 AM
3

There's a big difference between hating that your partner spends a huge amount of his time gaming — and thus neglects his responsibilities to you, your family, and everyone else — and getting upset because your partner spent a modest amount of money on entertainment in the form of a game. Unless you're in dire financial straits, I can't imagine getting worked up that your partner bought a couple video games. Which is why I'm pretty sure you're trolling, because you've chosen a silly example abou…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 11:28 AM
5

Apparently in a different universe from yours, because your video game example is absurd and I think you have normalized very unhealthy relationship behaviour. Either that or you're just trolling me. I'm leaning towards the trolling.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 09:51 AM
5

Thank you, I appreciate your saying so. I'm sorry people have said shitty things to you too.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 09:23 AM
4

I would characterize a relationship as deeply unhealthy if one partner has to hide their normal social activities from the other, lest their partner explode in rage ... but you do you. I just think either she is completely unreasonable and controlling, or he is shirking his responsibilities / treating her poorly to the extent that him skipping out for a night is deeply unfair and hurtful. Possibly both. Definitely not a healthy dynamic either way.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 09:20 AM
2

Sure, there are men who {everything}. But the men I've dated do care whether their partner is educated, as do I.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 09:09 AM
14

Yeah, this is a pretty frustrating and toxic sub much of the time. My experience includes a lot of instances of men telling me I am either lying or delusional if my life experience and preferences don't exactly match their red pill theories. It is extremely frustrating and prevents us from having any kind of meaningful conversation.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 09:06 AM
5

I don’t believe that a problem with housework in a relationship is a good enough reason to break up. It's not just a problem with housework. It's a problem with basic communication and support, which is absolutely a good reason to break up. If the only way you can get through to your partner is by living in filth and purposely making him jealous, your relationship is deeply troubled. You might want to consider couple's counselling.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 09:02 AM
5

I'm not trying to seem cold. To the contrary, my position on this comes from a place of deep love and trust. you know good and goddamn well if your man was out having fun without you, you would make him pay for it No, he does this a couple times a month and it's fine, because as I said, I love and trust him, he's there for me when I need him, and he communicates with me about his plans. I'm sorry you've been in some unhealthy relationships, but please don't project them onto others.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 08:56 AM
9

What sort of language and behaviour do you mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 08:48 AM
4

Um ... I don't? I trust my partner and if he has plans with friends, that's fine, so long as he lets me know when to expect him home so that I don't worry. I might feel differently if he always skipped out on me when I needed him, but he's a very caring and attentive person in general. We enjoy doing a lot of things together but I don't need to be included in 100% of his social plans.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 08:44 AM
2

I'm not sure that's true. I think if you're in a long-term relationship with someone who has the potential to become violent, you'll likely have seen warning signs (explosive rage, controlling tendencies, jealousy, etc.). Barring some kind of acute medical problem affecting personality and behaviour, that is. But I do agree with you that OP's take is silly and people should communicate about their problems instead of playing manipulative head games.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 08:08 AM
7

What man in his right fucking mind would even ATTEMPT to go out drinking all night with his friends? Um, a normal man in a healthy relationship who tells his partner about his plans in advance, and doesn't routinely duck out on his responsibilities to his family?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 08:02 AM
3

I have a great deal more faith in the average man than you do. I think most grownups take responsibility for themselves and are open to discussing problems with their partners. Nobody's perfect, but if your relationship is this bad, find a new one.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 07:57 AM
11

Are you seriously advocating for passive aggression instead of talking through your problems like a grownup? I'm going to stick to men who listen and communicate effectively. You can keep the ones who only respond to petty little head games.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 07:48 AM
3

Maybe we don't like being isolated from people who share our values. Then seek out people who share your values. I am not preventing you from forming a social circle of like-minded people.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 07:44 AM
2

You can't ever know, with any partner, how intensely she is experiencing sex compared with other women. We are unable to compare people's subjective experiences with our own or anyone else's.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 06:33 AM
3

I'm not forcing you into any relationships. You can date whoever you want; I give zero fucks about your personal life. I am just challenging your assumption that women who have casual sex are not capable of long-term commitment. You're making assertions on a debate sub and I am debating those assertions. Instead of falling back on "stop coercing me into relationships" — which no one here is doing — try addressing the actual substance of people's arguments.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 06:27 AM
3

I don't see why you can't have casual sex sometimes and also be capable of the intense connection and attachment of sex with a romantic partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 06:13 AM
6

Once you are in a relationship with someone you are having sex with, you will have ample opportunity to improve. Women don't expect you to be the best sex ever the first time you have sex because that literally never happens; sex the first time with almost anybody is mediocre. We expect you to show in the first encounter that you care about our pleasure enough to try, and you listen when we tell you what we like. If you do that, we trust that you have the potential to be a good lover and you'll …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 06:09 AM
8

Connecting and being intimate is literally what leads to that pure pleasure. Because it's with someone we trust. Because we can let go and lose ourselves in the act of sex. Because our partner knows our body and the mental landscape of our desire: what really gets us going, what takes us out of the experience and should be avoided. Because there's enough trust that we can explore and try new things. Because we feel something primal and powerful when it's someone we care about. That's what makes …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 05:57 AM
8

No, it's vastly more likely that they'll remember sex they had with the same person many many times over a long period of time (for instance, in a relationship) than some random they banged once or twice. Yeah, to be honest, I couldn't come up with a list of people I've only fucked once. It was mostly mediocre and forgettable.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 05:42 AM
3

LOL nope, not a chance
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 05:39 AM
30

Yeah, if you're dating a woman who's mostly had one-night stands, the bar is probably subterranean.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 05:32 AM
9

Probably for the same reasons why men have casual sex, despite the fact that sex with someone you know and care about tends to be better: we were single, horny, and wanted to fuck someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 05:26 AM
9

"If PUA works on her, she has mental health issues" does not imply "If she has mental health issues, PUA works on her."
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 05:14 AM
16

You didn't explain how seeing tons of examples of women doing X makes you think women do not do X.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 04:48 AM
4

You clearly have no idea what I am even arguing here or what I said. I recommend separating your thoughts into paragraphs to help people understand what you are arguing.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 04:44 AM
18

You spewed a lot of words but didn't actually address my question. I'll ask you again: how are you getting the idea that "women are nothing but cheaters who only care about sex and only get into relationships with 'safe' men," when many of the women here are in happy monogamous long-term relationships with men that we like?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 04:40 AM
28

These women on the internet are making me think women are nothing but cheaters who only care about sex and only get into relationships with "safe" men. How exactly are you getting this idea from the many women around here, myself included, who are in happy monogamous long-term relationships with men we actually like?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 04:17 AM
–

You should exercise because, in general, it will prolong your life, improve your mental health, and lower your chances of developing chronic health conditions. You should get a good job, and whatever education you need to facilitate that, so that you'll be free of financial stress and won't have to try to navigate the world while in desperate poverty. You can choose whether or not to seek relationships with people. If you don't want to, feel free to pass. No one's making you date anyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 04:04 AM
4

My experience is that the more attractive a woman the less this is generally true. They really dislike really small men, they are Ok with medium to average men, but they really excited for larger men... up to a point. What's your source on this? Presumably you have just the one cock. What... tongue skills? I've met women that it does nothing for and I've met women who it's the only thing that works. You wrote this in response to a thing you wrote yourself, so I'm not sure what you're getting at.…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 03:39 AM
13

This entire post is about men feeling insecure about their sexual skills. If you would like to discuss a completely different topic, feel free to write a post about how you are insecure about the world.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 01:20 AM
1

I also disagree: men and women should wear silly hats.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 01:15 AM
17

it definitely turns me off That's fine. I'm not trying to have sex with you. Why do you liberals insist on us adapting to your world that's not fair. Why do you get to dictate how things are and how we are supposed to see the world I'm just saying that if people worry they are bad at sex, they should try to improve at sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 01:04 AM
11

Most women are content with average-sized cocks, and many with small cocks. Are there size queens out there who aren't? Sure. Just like two people can be sexually incompatible because they have incompatible sex drives or sexual interests, they may also be incompatible body-wise. (That can just as easily mean having too large a cock, since many women find that very painful.) But if you can bring her to several screaming orgasms with your tongue, most women are going to be pretty happy. Personally…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 12:35 AM
21

I don't care about the boyfriend because they weren't just sexual relationships they were more. That's leaves more room for men. What does this mean? I'm not sure what point you're trying to make. It's easy for you to say this because you don't share our insecurities. I am not immune to feeling insecure about my sex skills. But instead of resenting my partner for having fucked other people, I channel that energy into improving at sex. Why must it be a race to the bottom? Why, "I suck in bed so I…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 12:19 AM
3

That's fair, there definitely are side effects. I hope that as medical science advances, they'll find better treatments for mood disorders that have fewer side effects. Probably worth reevaluating your stance every few years to see if better treatments exist yet. In the meantime, I wish you the best and hope you can find someone really great who is understanding about any mood changes you go through. I'm confident she's out there somewhere. 🙂
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/23 11:59 PM
9

why is it the man’s responsibility for both his and your orgasm It isn't. I also expect women to listen to what their partners like and make an effort to improve their skills in bed. and are women vocal at all? I can't speak for other women, but I am. If your partner isn't, I would recommend asking instead of stewing in insecurity about your sexual performance.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/23 11:36 PM
4

I'm sorry you haven't yet found what you're looking for. I think you're finding what a lot of women find on dating sites: regardless of how many matches you get, it's hard to turn them into a meaningful and fulfilling relationship. In my experience, that phenomenon is worse in online dating than in-person dating. Perhaps you should seek out new activities where you're more likely to meet women in person? It's also possible that you are expressing your feelings too quickly, which tends to make pe…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/23 11:13 PM
9

So don't use dick weights then. If you're trying to say you'll never be good in bed because your cock isn't long enough, interrupt yourself midsentence and instead do some tongue exercises.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/23 10:59 PM
17

Absolutely agree on both counts. Sex skills are learnable if you put effort into it and listen to what your partner wants. And there are plenty of people who've had lots of casual sex but suck at it — generally because they haven't worked at it, they don't pay attention to what their partner wants, or they just plain don't care if their partner is enjoying the sex and are too selfish to make an effort.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/23 10:53 PM
8

Absolutely this. Most men who suck in bed are bad because they just don't bother doing the things you actually like.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/23 10:46 PM
4

Oh, just because that's how these "women are lying" conversations tend to play out. If you don't do that, good on you.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/23 10:42 PM
51

Sex in a relationship is almost certainly better than most casual sex. It's her ex-boyfriends who are your competition, not the dude she fucked a couple times before it fizzled. Her relationships are where she'll most likely have had the mind-blowing sex you're worried about. And there's no reason that wouldn't have already happened if she's had two or three boyfriends before you. You're going to have to reconcile yourself to the possibility that your partner has had good sex in the past. The be…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/23 10:37 PM
15

knows all the mental, emotional and physical game to get these women addicted to him and think about him non-stop Most men fall into the category of not having massive amounts of sex and learning all the tricks, so they are doomed to be mediocre lovers. So learn. It's all a bunch of learnable skills. When I started having sex with men, I spent a lot of time reading sex books and resources to improve my skills at sex. I even went to some how-to seminars about sex tips. I improved because I put ef…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/23 10:30 PM
4

I hear all of those caveats. I'm just wondering why you think the group of women is less reliable than the group of men, the latter of which has even less of a basis for knowing what women experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/23 10:20 PM
2

But I would suggest that a group of women probably have more reliable information on the experiences of women than a group of (also self-selecting) men, many of whom have limited experience with dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/23 10:14 PM
0

women know a plethora of short, ugly, or disabled men who have no problems getting dates I actually do though. I'm not sure why our experiences are so divergent, but maybe it's an effect of the kinds of crowds we hang around. Mine tend to accept and celebrate a wide variety of bodies.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/23 10:12 PM
9

Are the women here red pilled? I most certainly am not. I hate red pill ideology. I agree with you that people (of all genders) have a variety of tastes. There are people who are preferentially attracted to groups red pillers think are worthless, as you are to women over 30, or who are indifferent to the factors red pillers think are desirable. Ive gotten some strange takes from women on here though like that "ugly men shouldnt be allowed to date" and they openly stated its disgusting ugly men w…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/23 09:42 PM
2

I would argue that their nature consists of the ways that they act.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/23 08:18 PM
1

"Human nature" just means the way that humans naturally are.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/23 08:02 PM
5

Yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/23 08:00 PM
1

Of course not all men are fixated on fucking you. It's just that you can't predict which ones will be fixated, and since sometimes they are fixated to the point of being threatening, you have to be on guard.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/23 07:57 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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