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elmartinas Archive

View 10 posts and 63 comments by elmartinas on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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10

I went to university and graduate school. I live in Canada (trying not to doxx myself lol), and post-secondary education is much less expensive here than in other countries like the US. I was lucky enough to be able to afford to go with minimal loans afterwards. I studied political science and journalism/communications. I'm lucky that I was able to take my skills from university and enter into a field that is quite flexible when it comes to work life balance. The skillset I have also means I can…
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/20 06:48 PM
2

I would say that I try to be devout. I'm certainly not a perfect Catholic and struggle with sin all the time. But, what I love about my relationship is that we've been growing in our faith together and it was a huge factor of why we were attracted to each other in the first place. We spend a lot of time discussing theology.
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/20 01:19 PM
2

He was enrolled in RCIA before meeting me :)
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/20 11:17 AM
1

I understand these concerns for sure, it's still early days but so far we communicate great and if things go wrong or I don't like what I hear from him I will question the relationship. We don't live in the US where immigration is strict. I don't want to reveal too many personal details, but we live in Canada where it's actually really easy to get permanent residency. My boyfriend got these documents before moving here, I have seen them lol, he's legit. As a result, getting married wouldn't be a…
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/20 11:17 AM
3

The "wall" only exists in two respects, one is avoidable, the other not so much. However, don't let the "wall" in either respect make you think that men won't find you attractive or a desirable partner. Plenty of people find love later in life. What's avoidable: Aging badly. A health lifestyle including excellent skincare, grooming, fitness, eating well etc. will ensure you stay youthful looking. People don't turn 30 and immediately become hags. Sidenote: there are men out there that would like …
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/20 02:42 PM
5

From what I just read, it's clear to me you're not happy in your current relationship. Yes, sometimes "crushes" happen and maybe we feel a sense of admiration for someone else's qualities or see that they are physically attractive. But if you are full on fantasizing about another man for hypergamous reasons this isn't good. It's in a woman's nature to want to "marry-up". Marriage is all about chemistry and compatibility. You must have both for it to be a success. Chemistry means that spark and a…
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/20 02:34 PM
9

This is why I refrain from having male friends. In high school it happened often to me. Men and women are biologically hardwired to seek each other out. Some men use friendship as the gateway to relationships because they either perceive that pursuing women in a purely dating context is negative OR they don't have confidence to do it. Movies and pop culture have also sort of taught us that friendships can become more. How many rom-coms have you seen where the friendzoned guys eventually wins ove…
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/20 05:25 PM
50

Thank you for brining this up. I lost my own virginity in less than ideal circumstances and now that I'm dating seriously for the discernment of marriage I sometimes feel absolutely wrecked that my n-count is higher than I'd like it to be because I perceived relationships to be so much more serious than they were or fell for pretty obvious pick up artist games in my late teens. I'm mortified at how naive and insecure I was. I've had to learn and realize that I have so much more to offer than "pu…
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/20 06:46 PM
2

I've dated men older than me, younger than me and the same age as me (F24), at the end of the day, age doesn't matter. If a man has honourable intentions, truly wishes to pursue you, commit to you, marry you and take care of you, their age is irrelevant. Men of all ages can be abusive to their partners, regardless of whether or not there is an age gap. But a large age gap can exacerbate it for sure. This may be controversial, but a YouTuber I've watched a few times called Shallon Lester (yes, ye…
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/20 02:29 PM
4

My favourite YouTube channel for cooking is Laura in the Kitchen. She does wonderful easy recipes and shows you everything step by step. :)
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/20 12:00 AM
8

You don't need to wear dresses and skirts 24/7 to be feminine. You can be very feminine in slacks and a blouse and even jeans and a t-shirt. It's all about colour, fit and accessories. For example, most of my blouses for work are in feminine colours: light blue, pink, cream or lavender. I usually prefer high-waisted slacks with a belt that ties into a bow. It's very cute, modest and comfortable. When I'm wearing jeans and a t-shirt I like to pair it with jewellery and more feminine hairstyles/ma…
/r/RedPillWomen07/05/20 07:44 PM
6

Cynthia L has a wonderful video on feminine walking and another on feminine sitting. I'd highly recommend these. She used to be in pageants. :)
/r/RedPillWomen07/05/20 06:27 PM
1

1.Where or how have you tried meeting the right type of men in the past? What was successful and what wasn't? How has your approach changed as a result of TRP? I tried meeting men on my university campus when I was a student. I didn't have much success due to hook up culture. I also tried church, but found the men there to be extremely religious. As someone who is more-so traditional than religious, it was turn off for me. The men I met at church or Christian mixers were also unimpressed with my…
/r/RedPillWives06/05/20 06:49 PM
4

The best way to start improving beauty is to focus on a health focused glow-up. A lot of us on this sub recommend Mrs Midwest's YouTube channel. (She's definitely a RPW icon). Cynthia L, is also excellent. They both have multiple videos on nurturing and enhancing feminine beauty. I have incorporated many of their tips into my routine and found great success. :) Best of luck on your journey and don't forget to be kind to yourself :)
/r/RedPillWomen06/05/20 06:38 PM
5

You need to hard next this guy. The only girl he should want to take a long-term road trip is you. Perhaps if his sister was also attending this road trip it could be salvaged.... but that doesn't seem to be the case here. I see many red flags in this scenario. A men typically only wants to take a road trip with a girl, alone (who is not his family member) to try and get close with her. Even if there are no conscious feelings there. Men and women are biologically wired to form some sort of attra…
/r/RedPillWomen06/05/20 06:34 PM
20

Not only is this age gap unsustainable, you are also both in different life arenas. I would not suggest continuing on with this relationship. Experiences like this can scar a woman for life. The damage of a huge age gap relationship as such a young age can be irreparable. Age gaps within reason are okay and become less of an issue as a woman gets a bit older. At 18, you should be dating men who are still in college. As a sidenote, I find questions about sexual history to be a red flag. It usuall…
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/20 09:22 PM
5

If you're able to, try investing in some therapy. See what resources there are on your campus. When I was having issues with my mother while in college, I attended faith-based counselling with the campus chaplain and it really helped me come up with coping mechanisms and ways to communicate better. I have a way better relationship with my mother now (still not perfect). You could also ask your dad to drive you somewhere and use being alone in the car with him as a way to talk. Even if you just s…
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/20 09:08 PM
27

You are absolutely not ruined! You had sex in a long-term committed relationship and on top of it, you waited until you were ready. I'd say that's a healthy standard to have when it comes to dating. It's the standard I hold for myself as well. There are plenty of traditional men who would still consider you for dating/marriage. Please don't give in to peer pressure and have casual sex. You have excellent standards right now. Not only did you wait until commitment for intimacy, you waited until y…
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/20 09:46 PM
2

You can still wear jeans and t-shirt and be more "mature". It's really all about the fit and colour of the clothes in addition to the accessories you choose. Swap sweatshirts for a blazer, leather jacket or trench coat. For shoes, try ballet flats or white tennis shoes if sneakers are a must. Here's an example of a polished casual outfit that is similar to what I wear regularly: https://www.pinterest.ca/pin/701154235720240211/ Try looking up Parisian Chic or French Style on pinterest. That was m…
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/20 03:28 PM
1

If marriage is something that you want in the future then I'd suggest (as painful as it would be) to end this relationship. If you've been dating someone for 2 years and they are telling you they don't ever want to get married in general that is a huge red flag. There is nothing you can do to convince him otherwise. It doesn't matter how wonderful of a girlfriend you are to him. The purpose of dating is to see if you are both compatible for the same end-goal. If the end-goal for you is marriage …
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/20 03:22 PM
2

All the awards to this answer right here! The accuracy of #2 is making me LOL. I dated a man like that to a tee, complete with all those scenarios. I see now what a complete and utter waste of time that was!
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/20 03:09 PM
11

To me a red pill woman is someone who is trying to grow and develop their femininity as a strategy for personal happiness in all aspects of life. From fashion to etiquette to relationships. First things first is you need to start eliminating swearing. I had this problem in the past and it took a few weeks but I've managed to stop cursing... The only exception is the occasional road rage lol. I'd definitely say that growing in femininity externally doesn't need to mean wearing lots of pink and pe…
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/20 02:48 AM
1

Anytime dear! :) So glad your SO's mother is on board! That's wonderful. Best of luck!
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/20 03:10 PM
19

I think you've already done a lot of internal work considering how self-aware you are of what you don't want and what you want to improve. You've already made strides in terms of reducing inappropriate language! That's a great bad habit to break :) My grandmother was the "homemaker" while I was growing up and was very protective of her domain and often did not allow me or welcome me in terms of helping. That in combination with my career-driven mother often excusing me from chores so I could stu…
/r/RedPillWomen22/04/20 02:48 PM
1

She usually becomes more emotional when I tell her I'll look at it later and tends to become angry I suggest she go to the Apple Store for assistance. This is quite literally what I do when I can't figure something out on my own devices. But of course, she doesn't want to do this or accuses me of lying/not wanting to help her. :( Thankfully my father is on my side more often than not when it comes to her antics in these situations. She'd rather have a broken device if I can't repair it for her u…
/r/RedPillWomen21/04/20 06:55 PM
3

Maybe it's just my own experience, but I was never actually asked about dating history by the 2 men I had long term relationships with. I also never asked them about theirs, so it was just a non-issue. If they never ask, then why bring it up?
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/20 11:39 PM
35

I was in your situation when I graduated college at 21. I'm 24 now and found TRP at 22. It's not too late. Not at all. Looking 24 is not a bad thing. You're still young and great skincare, changing your diet and exercise will help you. First piece of advice: Take some time to do a glow-up and become more feminine. I'd recommend watching the YouTubers Mrs. Midwest, Cynthia L. and School of Affluence. They have great videos on improving your appearance, wardrobe, etiquette. etc. Glowing up include…
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/20 08:38 PM
4

There is no shame at being single at 21. Absolutely none. Deciding to break up with someone because they wanted to explore another path that you were uninterested in is perfectly valid. I'm assuming you broke up with him because these travel plans did not include you? Correct me if I'm wrong. Regardless though, there is no need to feel shame or guilt for being single or for no longer being a virgin. It is perfectly reasonable to be intimate in LTRs. Please don't beat yourself up over this. What …
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/20 08:26 PM
1

I was always very book-smart from an early age. I loved school, reading, doing my homework and got excellent grades. Academics came easily to me. Despite this, my priority was always finding love. I remember in kindergarten we had to draw ourselves in our future life and I coloured myself as a bride with a tiara. (LOL). Maybe I was boy crazy, but nothing sounded so satisfying as having a husband and a family. However, the women in my life including my mom, teachers, instructors, everyone I looke…
/r/RedPillWomen16/04/20 09:50 PM
10

The right kind of man will appreciate and have no issue with your hobbies and they will not think you are dumb. Why? Because a masculine man who is attracted to femininity will expect you to have feminine hobbies. These men (or should I say boys) who are insulting you are clearly no mature enough for a real relationship and do not deserve all the thought you are putting into think of them! Don't listen to them and do not chase after them. I'm suspecting that you are quite young, perhaps too youn…
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/20 05:00 PM
3

Every one heals differently too. It might take you a year, it might take you 6 months or maybe longer. Sometimes, you need to be single for a while and other times, you'll bump into someone wonderful and suddenly be in love again. Every woman's journey is unique. I totally understand the fear of getting older, but I learned in therapy how much better it would be to bring your absolute best self into a relationship not just for your sake, but for the other person as well. Wouldn't you rather be a…
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/20 10:29 PM
3

Love these suggestions! Thank you :)
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/20 08:15 PM
9

The man I'm seeing was raised by a traditional homemaker who took up a feminine profession (teaching nursery school) after she felt her youngest child was old enough to be home alone after school. He's been very clear from the get-go that if it's financially feasible, he'd like to be with someone who would want to be a homemaker was well. He has nothing but kind, lovely things to say about both of his parents (who are still married) and all of his siblings.
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/20 08:14 PM
9

Thank you for this list! We've already covered a few of these. Politics and religion are out of the way thankfully and we're on the exact same page. So those are non-issues. I used to be a journalist so being inquisitive/curious and asking lots of questions is part of my personality now. He knows this and thinks it's adorable lol.
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/20 06:25 PM
11

I can totally relate to the high value job aspect here. My previous relationship was with a lawyer and a primary reason we broke up is because I wanted the relationship to become more serious while he was asking me to turn our commitment around and make our relationship casual. I'm glad he ended things.
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/20 06:17 PM
2

When I was in college, I also had a whirlwind romance with someone named "Alex". But he turned out to be a truly awful man. He purposefully deceived an inexperienced and starry-eyed me. We were on and off for way too long and even when I tried to date other people, he was always there in the wings to try and win me back for the fun of it. Deleting him from my life 2 years ago was the best decision I EVER made and I feel free because of it. DO NOT reach out to him. If I've learned anything about …
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/20 01:46 PM
2

I second this suggestions. I learn all my cooking and baking skills from YouTube. I find following along with a video is WAY easier than using a written recipe. My technique for chopping and cutting isn't ideal, but what matters with home cooking is how it tastes. :)
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/20 12:56 PM
6

It's all about fabric and colour! While I always wear track suits and sweat pants at home, I favour light fabrics like jersey or sometimes knit and stick with lighter feminine colours. My go to self-isolation outfit is a pair of pink knit sweat pants with a v-neck white t-shirt. I do a tiny bit of make-up and put my hair into my signature low bun and I'm good to go. One of my favourite YouTubers School of Affluence made a video on looking feminine at home, put still put together. While I don't f…
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/20 12:54 PM
3

I completely understand where you're coming from. I'm 24 and still struggling with the future. Before RP I was on track for a high-powered career. Instead, I pursued a moderate profession in terms of high stress and time dedication but I still make a good living and have savings. I also chose something that involved creativity to nurture that side of my femininity. While college/university is quite expensive, I think it's important for all people to have a skill they can profit from, even women …
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/20 04:08 PM
2

Everyone has insecurities, but it's important to try and address the root of them. Maybe a trauma (just using this word because I can't think of a better one) from your childhood or teen years is causing it. I also bet you that a lot of these attractive women feel exactly the same way as you do on the inside over one insecurity or another. Perhaps they think that men don't take them seriously or are constantly paranoid about whether a man has good intentions or not. For years, even though I was …
/r/RedPillWomen29/03/20 08:09 PM
2

We've met in person, yes and been on a few dates. We've flirted about things like enjoying kissing each other, holding each other, him telling me about outfits I've worn that he really liked and tickling me (lol). I've complimented him on his intelligence, strength and laughed at his jokes. He has not talked about or brought up sex acts or "sexted" me at all. The whole corona virus and strict quarantine rules where we live have put a bit of a pause on seeing each other in-person for the time bei…
/r/RedPillWomen28/03/20 06:01 PM
8

Anything that mentions atheism or leftist politics. I don't want to date someone who is going to constantly insult my faith or think that dating me is going to be some sort of academic experiment. I've been there and done that, it's a waste of time and not amusing. Mentions they don't know what they are looking for. Anything overtly sexual in their profile or a lack of written profile. If they have nothing to say about themselves, it's difficult to determine what they are interested in or like P…
/r/RedPillWomen28/03/20 04:54 PM
5

I LOVE this analogy, it makes a lot of sense. Thank you! I will keep this in mind as I move forward with dating! :)
/r/RedPillWomen27/03/20 04:40 PM
2

I'm still working through my insecurities regarding past mistakes and not knowing how to date as a RPW. The thought of coming across as too experienced and turning him off (or any man I date in the future) in some way really haunts me. Or the opposite: being too mysterious and coming across as completely virginal and it being a turn off.
/r/RedPillWomen27/03/20 03:25 PM
1

I just started seeing a lovely traditional-minded man when all of this hit in my home country about 2 weeks ago. Because we both live with elderly family members that are especially susceptible, we communicate daily by text and video chat on whatsapp. We send each other videos and pictures of things we're doing as well like cooking for example to stay connected. We don't have plans to see each other in person right now because our country is taking social distancing extremely seriously. But we w…
/r/RedPillWomen27/03/20 12:08 PM
2

I wear leggings or some joggers with a nice knit or turtleneck (still really cold in Canada lol). Being somewhat ready for the day has been very motivating, although I do actually have to work unfortunately.
/r/RedPillWomen24/03/20 10:13 PM
23

I'm doing simple make-up every day like I usually would to keep me from touching my face and feeling more put together. Just tinted moisturizer, some brow gel and a touch of mascara and tinted lip balm go a long way! :) This has been really helpful for all of my video conferences for work. While everyone else is in pjs/really tired I look and feel my best. I also make sure that even if my hair is pulled back, it's neat and stylish. Go-to is a low bun with a few tendrils to frame my face. Sort of…
/r/RedPillWomen24/03/20 07:40 PM
2

Being a know-it-all and unintentionally sounding superior to others.
/r/RedPillWomen19/03/20 09:37 PM
1

IMO there are ways men benefit and ways they don't. Yes, men can be seen as benefitting because they can achieve sexual relationships without putting in the work. However, men are human and I'd like to think they also desire emotional connections and a family. Traditional minded men with strong conservative values usually must weed through the women who are 3rd wavers to find someone who aligns with what they search for in a potential wife/long-term girlfriend. Or they find someone in church if …
/r/RedPillWomen18/03/20 09:46 PM
13

I don't know if dish soap is safe for facial skin.. have you ever considered a gentle cleanser like Cerave or Cetaphil? I like both and neither have ever broken me out. Also: if the lotions you're trying are not oil-free or have fragrance that might be contributing to the break outs. I struggled with acne for many many years and honestly just had to get over my teen years before any products worked for me. Keep in mind I am 24 and things may change. My skin type is oily and dehydrated, so shiny …
/r/RedPillWomen18/03/20 09:06 PM
3

Do you know of any resource for how to thrift? I'm definitely opened to it since I love anything vintage looking or classic. I've honestly never done it before though.
/r/RedPillWomen18/03/20 08:50 PM
10

Thanks for tip on the hair, I'll chat with my colourist about it next time I'm in. :) Good to know men out there aren't micromanaging beauty expenses. Men I've dated in the past (before red pill) were quite shocked and turned off at how much basic female maintenance is. On the other hand, they were also turned off at how I looked minus all the effort/expenses.
/r/RedPillWomen18/03/20 07:06 PM
7

Welcome to another newcomer! I have just joined recently after being a long-timer lurker. I'm on my own journey with femininity (though I'm still single) but there are lots of great resources out there we can all learn from. I personally really enjoy Mrs. Midwest's YouTube channel, I think she has some great tips on character building and growing in femininity both physically and emotionally. I've learned a lot from her videos and have made numerous positive changes in my life as a result.
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/20 05:32 PM
1

You're 100% correct. Daily SPF is vital!
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/20 12:21 PM
6

If you're serious about exfoliation, I'd recommend investing in an acid, retinol or even a prescription retinoid. It will help get rid of the blackheads and improve your skin in general.
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/20 03:19 AM
5

Comfy Loungewear for being at-home/doing chores can definitely be feminine depending on the fabric, colour and fit. Loungewear in lighter colours like cream, pink and light blue can be really cute. I like monochrome sets where the top and bottoms match, it can look very luxe and elegant. For fabrics I prefer a rayon blends. Just add some make-up, cute hair and simple accessories.
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/20 01:13 AM
2

I went through a similar situation to you. I'm 24 and had many short lived relationships in college where I was intimate with guys too soon. I also fell for a lot of basic player moves out of insecurities. I spent about 8 months working on myself after graduating college via faith-based counselling, a glow-up and swallowing the red pill of course. The regret and shame goes away with time once you build confidence in all the qualities you have to offer as a woman and a wife. And of course determi…
/r/RedPillWomen16/03/20 11:46 PM
2

Here are some period drama recs: Downtown Abbey, The Young Victoria, Pride and Prejudice (1995 version), Grand Hotel (Spanish show with subtitles, lots of drama and comic relief) and Magnificent Century (it's a Turkish romance show that is extremely entertaining and based on a true story). If crime dramas appeal to you then I'd highly recommend Mind Hunter.
/r/RedPillWomen16/03/20 06:45 PM
4

I am so sorry you're going through this. I went through a break up in late November over lack of values in common as well. While it was painful for a few weeks. Once your living situation is stable you can try some of my recommendations. It kind of became really long... lol. Started focusing on a small scale glow-up, beauty and hygiene self-care. Improve your skin care routine, treat yourself to a sheet mask and start learning at home nail-care. Make yourself feel beautiful, feminine and desirab…
/r/RedPillWomen16/03/20 04:11 PM
1

I really loved Cameron and Lauren, thought they made a lovely couple. IMO Jessica was painful to watch. She's was matched with one of the best men on the show (again IMO) and made a big mess of it.
/r/RedPillWomen15/03/20 10:15 PM
5

I live in a country with many gun regulations. It's not really a part of our culture here like in the US, so not something I'd have access to. lol.
/r/RedPillWomen15/03/20 10:11 PM
3

I already work in communications for my job, but I will definitely try and get into perfecting my Spanish again. I minored in Spanish lit in college so I'm highly proficient verbally but haven't taken the time to practice my writing in a few years. I never even thought of languages as something feminine. Thank you :)
/r/RedPillWomen15/03/20 08:28 PM
3

Absolutely love the idea of cross stitching! Sounds like the perfect alternative to embroidery since I'm a beginner and have never sewed before. My local craft store and amazon have some cute little sets I can start with :) Thank you for the rec.
/r/RedPillWomen15/03/20 08:26 PM
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