TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

exhausted_husband25 Archive

View 9 posts and 35 comments by exhausted_husband25 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
6

It gets much worse once the divorce process starts. I'm in the middle of it so I don't have the answers for you, but just prepare for it to get worse. I've had to come to grips with there are people out there who knows me and know what she says are lies and people who believe her lies no matter what. Inevitably I'll lose the friendships of the latter so I'm focusing on trying to build a new social/support network. Life can be rebuilt, but time can't be reclaimed.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/26 07:22 PM
1

Essentially I mean preparing for a high conflict divorce. Document positive things like how you've taken care of your daughter, gone to her appointments, etc. But also document negative behaviors of your spouse like screaming at your daughter/you, her skipping appointments, or whatever it is that she does. Best thing is to document solid evidence of taking care of your daughter like keeping receipts of you paying for activities, or handouts from attending school events, send your wife followup s…
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/26 11:57 PM
1

I very much agree that whatever she's doing is not good. Hence why I'm taking private notes regardless now. My concern with sending them (or anything really) to her is that she'll somehow use that against me too. I'm nowhere near her level of emotional manipulation or mindset of how to screw people over. Stuff like this paraphrase of a verbal conversation we had a could months back. "You said you took him to the park yesterday. I see a sun burn in a spot on his leg. So you must have not put suns…
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/26 03:29 AM
1

Doesn't sound like the kind of relationship I'd want, but everyone is different. Regardless if you expect her to change to be the perfect wife that you've imagined and want in a marriage, then you have your own problem my friend. That is a terrible expectation. She will be exactly who she has always been. If you don't want or can't accept that long term then for both of y'all's sakes you need to end it now. People change over time, but only if THEY want to and choose to work on it.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/26 03:19 AM
1

Hang in there. I'm saying that to myself as well because the divorce process sucks, especially with a contentious STBX.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/26 01:12 AM
2

Yikes. Your STBX sounds even more spiteful than mine. I'm in Missouri. I'll likely end up disclosing and then just paying a little more in CS.
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/26 11:43 AM
5

That's another way to look at it. Lucrative is right. Lawyers are the only ones who win
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/26 11:38 AM
2

Yeah I'm going to bring it up with my lawyer. Her discovery interrogatories specifically ask if I expect any raises in pay, but at the time her lawyer sent that request I could honestly say no. So I'm hoping I'm not legally obligated to disclose it.
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/26 03:31 AM
2

That sucks man. Especially given it's your business and you shouldn't have reasons to not want it to succeed
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/26 03:27 AM
4

I'm definitely learning reading your post, particularly point 2. Going to have to read up on child support and it's origin. That said, I think you'd need some sort of exception for parents who stay at home and raise children. Especially given daycare costs these days. Even something as simple as "the stay at home parent receives 50% of retirement account value increases for the period during which they were a stay at home parent (excluding non-marital accounts)". Not perfect, but I would hate fo…
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/26 03:24 AM
1

Have to play the victim otherwise they'd have to admit they have at least some fault 😝 One of my biggest annoyances with modern day American women (generalizing) is the expectation to read their mind instead of listening to what they say. Language's sole purpose is to communicate your thoughts. Use it do so!
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/26 01:06 AM
2

Both. Although it was more like demanded. She even gave me ultimatums to get individual therapy a couple times. Not for anything in particular (that'd she'd say). It just was yet another way to prove to her that I was trying in some way. She relied on therapy for her personal growth way too much IMO. Couples therapy I think is helpful to learn some basic relationship communication strategies specific to your dynamic and/or if you have a concrete goal in mind that you want help with. In my experi…
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 03:05 AM
4

It was a mixture of "I still love you and want to make this work" to "#@!& you". Depended on the day. Former was just manipulation in hindsight. Granted she threatened divorce almost weekly by that point so while I filed first, she arguably initiated it.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 02:51 AM
7

I feel for you man. My STBX also threatened divorce frequently and in my opinion that was the biggest thing that killed my marriage. I'll say this, if you haven't CLEARLY and even emphatically told her that those divorce threats HURT you/the marriage and NEED to permanently stop immediately, then make sure you do so. Then the hardest part is setting the boundary and sticking with it. If she realizes it and stops, maybe the marriage can be saved. If she doesn't... Then I advise you to start tryin…
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/26 02:36 AM
1

Sure thing!
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/26 11:22 AM
1

Evidence for wrong doing on my part?
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/26 11:14 AM
2

Appreciate the insight! I'm working on getting my paperwork together. Just need to make it organized so it's quick to reference. It wouldn't surprise me if she tried to fake the whole "afraid of me" routine, which is bogus since we're still living in the same house. Best to be mentally prepared for it.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/26 11:13 AM
3

Agreed I'd want to help him anyway, but the default is I have to keep paying her. I have to negotiate switching payments to him.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/26 10:48 AM
0

Yikes... Even more stupid.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/26 02:57 AM
3

I'll have to dive in and see if it is law. Might not be worth the lawyer fees since my STBX is not being reasonable in this divorce and will 100% fight to make me pay it. She's even arguing to have me pay her lawyer to which I say absolutely not. Edit: just checked the lazy way via AI. It's a law unless negotiated otherwise. No way she'd give that up.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/26 02:56 AM
2

I can't see one. Sounds like it's just indirectly forcing parents to help pay for their kid's college. Good idea on paying good tuition directly. I'll have to file that thought away for future reference. Though hopefully I'll raise him to be smarter than I was in college 😂
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/26 02:53 AM
1

Therapists only hear what their client tells them, and they get paid to do it too so not exactly like they're incentivised to question it. My STBX's religious therapist supposedly told her to divorce me. Based on that and conversations I've had with others I know my STBX says a bunch of lies about me. Probably can't blame the therapist.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/26 07:55 PM
1

A whole year?? My sympathies there man. Yeah I need to get back in a workout rythem soon.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 01:37 AM
1

Yeah that's effectively what my lawyer told me. Very expensive lesson. I was definitely not prepared for the worst behavior that comes out during divorce. Only small consolation is that it removed any chance I'd feel any regret or hesitation during the process. Small clarification though, the paperwork was filed this week but evidently takes time for the court to "accept it". Still waiting on that, but the file date is on the paperwork so that hopefully doesn't matter.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/26 10:36 PM
1

I totally get it. I feel perpetually behind the curve every time she does something sketchy since that's not how I think. This week she's now removing physical items from the house while I'm at work. Best thought so far was I took pictures of all the major stuff so I can at least prove it exists. Going to remove all my more valuable items soon.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/26 12:51 AM
1

That's what I'm hoping for. Only hoping we get to that point by settling and not having to go all the way to court because she still wants what's not been spent.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/26 12:48 AM
2

Papers were filled this week so she'll be served late this week or next most likely.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/26 10:43 AM
2

Oh I am. Meeting already setup with a lawyer tomorrow.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 10:42 AM
1

I'd have to go legit insane first, and even then low chance.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 01:29 AM
4

For me the last straw was the constant threats of divorce. Last few times included her threatening to divorce and go for full custody of our kid and cussing me out in front of our kid. On top of a mountain of other things with relentless criticism being near the top.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 01:12 AM
1

I'm in the early stages of mine (about to file) so less experienced than others in this subreddit. However if I could change one thing, it would be to not tell her my decision was final until I was about to or had already filed papers. I'm not saying completely surprise her as I think that would be wrong, but if she knows it's coming I wouldn't broadcast details. My STBX is actively trying to screw me over now that she knows I'm done. Which is ironic since she's been threatening divorce for year…
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 01:07 AM
1

What kind of disadvantage? Would you say that disadvantage still exists if we sell upon divorcing? Is assume it's a level playing field in that instance and my only risk would be if I moved to a different nearby city.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 12:15 AM
1

Yeah I definitely don't think she's cheating, but as you state there always could be more under the surface. She's actually good with my son so for all the faults I could give her being a bad mom is not one of them. That said, she has 0 tolerance for any parenting style than her own. That's why I get so conflicted. It'd be easier I think if she just sucked as a person in every aspect.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/26 01:00 PM
1

Well I'm already sleeping in the guest bedroom so there's that... Headspace is back and forth between hoping it could work out and just being over it. I actually had a positive experience with the lawyer I met, but it was more just due to his reassurance that she wouldn't be able to get full custody and it'll be 50/50.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/26 12:57 PM
1

I can empathize with you. The emotional wreck of reconciling only to be back in the same place sucks. Your therapist give any good advice?
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/26 02:13 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter