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fsk71823 Archive

View 10 posts and 72 comments by fsk71823 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

I totally get that. You're at the point where that the decision to wait due to other factors who get you alienated by society. As for me, I've made my peace and just want to find someone for companionship. For 2/3 of my adult life, I had that woman there in the good and bad times and now it's hard to remember what life is like single again.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 07:09 PM
1

I can understand you're wanting to not date. I was like that before our divorce but after a while, I realized that there was something missing. There still is but I'm at a point no matter the dating website (legit ones that is), I hardly get any responses. If I do, it's from a woman who I have no desire to go out with. Since I live right behind the old house (for the kids sake only), I see her new guy's car occasionally as do my kids. I tell them I have no idea who it is and leave it at that. My…
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/26 07:27 PM
1

Damn! Did she have an affair while you were married?
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/26 03:02 PM
5

Yup I'm mostly in the same boat. My ex already has a boyfriend and we've been divorced shy of 3 months. As part of our divorce, we can't introduce our kids to a new partner until after being serious fo several months. Must be nice to get someone else when I've been trying and absolutely nothing. Stay strong man!
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/26 12:49 AM
1

As long as you and your STBXW are in the same page on the majority of the items, it should work. Our goal was to work together for the kids. If you are prepared ahead of the meetings, it will reduce your cost for attorneys.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/26 04:30 PM
2

I have a counselor I go to plus I'm a part of a men's group for guys with somewhat similar situations.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 01:04 AM
1

Damn right it does
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 01:04 AM
1

Michigan
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 01:03 AM
3

Keep doing what you're doing and make a better life for yourself! You deserve it
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/25 03:32 PM
1

We are. It won't be for long. Saving money this way plus we aren't bitter towards each other which I'm relieved about.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/25 01:59 AM
1

Totally agree. Had issues many years ago and the difficulties continue.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/25 01:24 AM
1

1000%. Wasn't over successfully more than a decade and a half ago but did meet my STBXW on there (yeah...)
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/25 01:23 AM
3

I'm living it now. Divorce agreement should be finalized soon and then things will be better. I just put in a house offer so I his will be over for me soon. Have patience for yourself. She hadls officially left so anything that happenss to her now is on her. Set firm boundaries on he is not allowed in the house. Start looking when the time is right to start dating again. Don't let her live in your mind. Find friends or family to talk to and seek therapy if you haven't. These will help Stay stron…
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/25 03:59 PM
1

Honestly, I just want to get it done and over with at this point. I know I'll probably get screwed over one way or another, but just want to move on!
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/25 03:43 AM
2

I think it's better than the alternative. We control many decisions. Probably around $10k at this point. Waiting on some financial info and job possibilities before finalizing. Waiting until at least next month to finalize and file so for taxes, we can still utilize the tax benefits of married. If the judge signs it before 1/1/26, I would be screwed over tax wise as I would be in another bracket. I would recommend if you can be civil and work together, the process will cost less and if you have …
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/25 12:05 PM
1

I could leave, but that would make things even tighter
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/25 06:28 PM
1

Nope, not in the least. Just sucks being more responsible in this now failed marriage. I also know that she's rushing into things and it won't work out probably the way she wants it to. Just lonely and wishing I had actual connection with someone. I feel like this feeling will pass but just not sure on how long that will take.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/25 06:28 PM
1

This our 14th soon a similar situation marriage length wise. I know it will get better. To be honest, would be nice if she was miserable just a little bit. We won't file until the earliest next month so we can have the tax advantage for this year otherwise I'd be screwed over.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/25 10:17 PM
11

In my opinion, you are better off not being with her. In roughly the same boat as you and it took me a while to realize that there was no more "us," just individuals again based on behavior. Behavior is a language and what she's saying in her words back in July and what she did last month are that she's done. It sucks 100%! Be good to yourself and be even better to your kids.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/25 09:52 PM
8

I was blindsided for sure. It hurt for quite a while but I got help and in a much better place now
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/25 10:30 AM
7

I'm pretty much in the same boat. It brothers me a little bit still, but I've come to that realization that she's going to do what she's going to do. I can only control myself and my happiness.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/25 11:13 AM
8

My STBXW "grew" as a person the last few years and I didn't change with her. I was what she need all those years ago after bad relationships, but now I'm as disposable as a tissue now. Use me for money so she f@ck whomever she wants now. She's working but not using her degree in the least to maximize her earnings potential and for me to fork over more money
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/25 04:26 PM
13

I too never thought it would happen, until it did. Makes it hard to trust women moving forward in life. Together with her including marriage for over 17 years.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/25 12:38 PM
1

Yes, we both have attorneys and there is a divorce coach so we are working together. I would say my retirement will grow faster than the equity in the house. It's going to suck regardless of how things go. Just want minimum damage as possible so I can keep things civil with her. I want the kids to have as good of a life as possible and not deal with the crap.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/25 07:37 PM
0

Yes, the collaborative process requires each party to have a lawyer. We are working through our parenting plan and it requires each house to have clothing at each house.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 09:13 PM
0

I'm in Michigan and in this collaborative process, FOC can be opted out. I'd rather spend my money in the kids and not give it to her. She can lie in the bed she's made. I plan on paying a lot of their clothes, extra circular activities, insurance, etc. anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 07:38 PM
1

Here in the US, for this process, you're required to have a lawyer to complete the process. I need to meet with my lawyer again for some more strategy. Good luck to you. Find one that will be a bulldog for you!
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 07:35 PM
1

I've already said I would pay a lot of the kids stuff and my insurance is good so I would never take them off. No, she, from what I can tell, isn't with the AP. She seems to have started the monkey branching as she's had interest in at least one other guy that I'm aware of. I really don't care anymore. I would be obsessed about those things, but I've realized it does nothing for me but stress me out more. She's going to do what she's going to do. I don't care. She can fuck up her life and that's…
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 07:33 PM
3

I live in a no fault state so for the most part, the affair is irrelevant. Might help slightly for asset division, but that's it
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 04:54 PM
0

Technically we are doing 50/50 custody but as it goes right now, I'll have them overnight 8 of the 14 nights in a two week period. Not sure if her lawyer will be good with that and if that affects child support. I am going to have to give in some things otherwise, she'll probably take this to actual court then the lawyers will bleed me dry. I'd like to give her nothing, but that isn't reality for me.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 04:52 PM
3

I'll be in the same boat soon. Mid 40's with kids is always enticing to women... Might benefit from being single for a while.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/25 11:45 PM
1

Mine went as expected. My oldest was sad but out on a brave face for her two younger siblings. My son was sad and asked if we were going to get remarried. My youngest didn't know how to react.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/25 02:20 AM
2

That's what we did after work. It was hard, but necessary. My heart breaks for them as well. My oldest I think understood, but was definitely sad. I hope for the best. Be honest and stick with the no blame.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/25 01:18 AM
2

I have a feeling my oldest knows something is up but the other two probably don't. We plan on being there for them. It's going to suck, but it needs to be said since we've started the process. With them knowing, we'll need to start the process of telling others since they won't keep this a secret.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/25 01:10 PM
6

It's difficult. It still pops up every so often. It took a long time to finally let go of the anger daily. As long as you wern't a jerk to her, you did not drive towards the betrayal. It was all her. She's the one that pissed away the marriage. She's the one being selfish. Until I realized that the only one that can control her feelings and emotions was her, the anger was still readily present. If you haven't already, seek individual counseling to help. If in your area, even seek group counselin…
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/25 02:27 PM
1

Yeah, I have to remind myself to be the better person. I want to be that pain, but it's not who I am. I just need to be the better role model for the kids
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/25 02:55 PM
1

We are both driven to save money so I hope we don't have to spend too much.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/25 05:37 PM
1

I hope that won't be the case with mine. She flipped out after seeing her attorney's hourly rate. We'll see. How long did it take you to get to this point?
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/25 02:22 AM
1

Yes there are. She's talking a good game so we'll see.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/25 02:20 AM
7

I hope to learn from this. Will be starting the process this week. It's been a long almost two years but it's time. My heart may ache but my head knows it's what needs to be done. I dread the day that one of my kids says this
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/25 02:04 PM
5

Nope, the POS shouldn't be allowed in the house. Stay strong on that stance. Even if she has movers, it is a good idea to put the things on the garage that prevent an ugly situation.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/25 09:04 PM
6

I think the problem could be that most of the people who share your values are taken for the most part. Many who don't may be the ones that are out there predominantly. I absolutely dread the possibility of dating again because I have to be a detective to see if she may share the same values and will actually stay faithful... Being in my own may feel lonely but also a form of paradise because I only need to worry about me.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/25 12:15 PM
3

I am so sorry. I agree some fairness needs to come about in this system.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/25 12:53 PM
2

I wish you the best with both kids. If you are good and they see the destruction their mom caused, they will see you care about them and what she did. Have faith in them and have faith in yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/25 10:37 PM
2

I get how it would change her. It's definitely something that no kid expects or wants to go through. I think if you build trust and say that you're there for her you probably will gain many inroads into her life.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/25 05:24 PM
2

How are the kids when they are with you? Just my opinion, but if can maintain or grow your relationship with your kids, you are in control of a healthy parent dynamic, unlike your ex. You can't control anyone else when it came mes to trust which I totally get. No one person is worth wishing yourself harm. Don't let her absolute obliteration of your marriage and trust ruin you. You are worth being here even if you didn't have kids.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/25 04:40 PM
4

Yeah, you need to leave. Talk with friends or family to help. Go to counseling for yourself and keep a backup copy of everything for your protection where she can't find it in case she somehow gets to your phone. Stay strong and know that this isn't the person you met years before and if she doesn't want to get help, there is nothing you can do but leave for your safety.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/25 01:55 PM
5

Thank you for providing hope to those of us who struggle at times. Divorce is on the horizon and will need to be a solid rock for my kids.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/25 10:06 PM
1

That is more than likely what will happen. No pressure to have kids. No pressure to try and impress a woman.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/25 12:36 AM
5

Yeah, good point. I need to focus on me first to heal and be there for my kids
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/25 07:56 PM
1

I feel like I will need to focus on myself for a bit to help self regulate. Never have been on my own before and add kids to the mix, it will be interesting at the beginning. Then again, we went through a trial separation for a while last year so I had a taste of what it was like.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/25 07:55 PM
1

I fully respect that and will probably be my approach moving forward. Need have my emotional and financial state in check.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/25 05:42 PM
1

I'm glad I found this group. We meet online and actually got together in person recently and feel like I could have another group of friends to talk through things.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/25 04:28 PM
1

I'm glad to hear some positives. I'm in my 40s and feel like I have my life together. I know I have more work to do on myself to be better for me. I can hold onto hope of a brighter future in this regard.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/25 04:26 PM
2

Yeah, you can only control you. I haven't said I forbid her to talk with him as we are both adults. But with both being adults, I have the right to make a choice for myself.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/25 04:23 PM
3

Yeah, live in a no fault state. I have no intention to date or hook up while legally married. Have hig regard for marriage and would feel some religious guilt for seeing someone while still technically married. Clearly my wife doesn't feel the same...
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/25 12:30 AM
1

I've kind of had that mindset that maybe having peace in my life would be greater than love. I've wavered back and forth if I want to after the divorce is finalized. Think I'll focus on that after it's all ✅ ne. Thanks for your insights.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/25 12:28 AM
2

Not the one for casual hookups. I met my wife online so familiar with those apps, though it has been almost 17 years since I was single. I'll have to look into that book. Thanks for the advice!
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/25 12:25 AM
3

Consult with an attorney to weigh your options. Seek counseling to talk through things to cope in the meantime. Document what you can if you pursue divorce. Keep your head up. Better things will come your way eventually.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/25 01:32 PM
2

Plan on keeping things updated for sure. It's good to get other opinions.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/24 03:52 PM
2

Yeah, that's pretty much gone by the way side. There are many things that she does and has done that I can't stand any longer so staying together would almost be torture.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/24 03:50 PM
1

Thought about that but I have my own things that I failed to do, but I already let my parents know about that so she can't leverage that against me.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/24 03:49 PM
1

I'm sure she will in some ways, but will relish the time away as one of the kids is quite a handful. 12 and under are the ages (don't want to give specifics).
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/24 03:47 PM
5

No. I've wrestled with that. I don't think I will as it won't serve a good purpose overall. I will always have to deal with my ex for the rest of my life and we are trying to go the collaborative route to avoid additional costs, to be civil, and be who I am, a nice guy who doesn't get into the gutter. Originally I thought of being very nice but I'm reconsidering being that nice during the process so I can get something back-my dignity.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/24 02:59 AM
1

Been over 3 weeks since our conversation. Feels like a real roommate situation. Thank goodness for therapy and people to listen. The more I think about it, the less likely I would want to stay together even if she broke contact with AP and would do whatever it took to stay together. Outside of financial issues, I will be fine. I have a lot of family and friend support (which she doesn't have much of) so things will be good. The "funny" thing is she applied for a job with the APs company, which I…
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 08:30 PM
1

I plan on taking time. I've been stressed for so long that I could use a break. Throw in a new job in a new field during this time and I've been tense. I'm sure I'll feel more relief when I am officially alone but the kids come first right now
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/24 12:22 AM
1

No. She opened it after our trial separation. I don't think she's piling cash in there. Plus, she'll need to disclose that account anyway in the process.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/24 05:43 PM
1

I have an attorney and diligently keep tabs on our account. She does have a separate account but her one job DD goes into that account.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/24 03:46 PM
1

Yeah, I realize I will feel better later on. Not worrying about being nagged so much will be great. It has taken some time but I have realized it's on her for her actions. She chose to pursue them. I am taking the mindset of it's better to be alone and lonely than be miserable and together with someone.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/24 02:25 PM
1

We plan on discussing prior to starting the process. Seems amicable at this point.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/24 02:19 PM
6

I already have one. Hopefully, we will finalize a collaborative divorce and can move on. I guess it's better to be lonely than miserable in a marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/24 01:58 AM
4

Yeah, I know that and why my mind won over my heart. So much time lost to a woman who I didn't think would be unfaithful especially since she was so pissed with her ex-BIL who repeatedly cheated on her sister. Now she's just like him and she has to live with that forever. I will eventually be fine, but the last year plus has been hell. Learned a lot about myself and has helped me start changing things about myself that I don't like
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/24 01:25 AM
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