Been over 3 weeks since our conversation about wanting a divorce due to her continued contact with AP. Waiting until after holidays for the kids sake before starting process. Feels like a real roommate situation. Thank goodness for therapy and people to listen. The more I think about it, the less likely I would want to stay together even if she broke contact with AP and would do whatever it took to stay together. Outside of financial issues, I will be fine. I have a lot of family and friend support (which she doesn't have much of) so things will be good. The "funny" thing is she applied for a job with the APs company, which I was not surprised by at all. I don't recognize the woman I married all those years ago. Fuck you AP (FSK! FSK!) and Fuck You WS!

Original Post: Wife of 13 years a little over a year ago admitted to an EA and had some physical contact. Went through MC (waste of time) and we did about 6 months of trial sep. Since coming back, it's been tough to "change" when the AP is still in constant contact with her even though she knows it pains and pisses me off. He hasn't had the balls to file himself but gets to have it great. I wasn't the best, but wasn't abusive or anything like that and made mistakes. I'm a good guy, but we all know where that gets you.

I can't see a future for us with her not willing to cut the SOB out of her life for our marriage and that she's "grown" over there me. Even though I know I won't be happy if we stayed together, I am still struggling with divorce. We have a couple of kids and I know it's going to hurt them. I didn't want this for them as I went through this as a young kid. We are waiting until after the holidays and after a birthday to start a collaborative divorce.

How do you cope and move on from this? I am not ok but I know I'll be alright in the long run.