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girludontbringhome Archive

View 10 posts and 391 comments by girludontbringhome on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
790

REMINDER 👑girludontbringhome/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 05:31 PM
530

LESSON LEARNEDgirludontbringhome/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 05:21 PM
530

REMINDER 👑girludontbringhome/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 02:50 AM
242

MOOD FOR LIFEgirludontbringhome/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 04:46 PM
107

NAH, SISgirludontbringhome/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/20 07:25 PM
104

NAH, SISgirludontbringhome/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 06:01 AM
80

GREEN FLAG 🟢girludontbringhome/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 04:54 AM
53

FOREVER GF TALESgirludontbringhome/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 02:26 AM
23

DISCUSSIONgirludontbringhome/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 04:12 AM
0

SEEKING ADVICEgirludontbringhome/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 10:10 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

I am just wondering if I did the right thing here. I went on a first date with a guy I met on Hinge. Our texting chemistry was great, and we kept good boundaries, texting 1-2 times a day with long thoughtful responses. I never felt like he was texting me too much or too little. From the get-go, he insisted that we go on a dinner date together. It took us a while to meet up, because of my schedule unfortunately, so we texted for a few weeks before meeting in person. I know that it's ideal to meet…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 11:17 PM
14

This comment needs to be removed. It’s a personal attack on an elderly person. We don’t know him or his story. And the mods need to remove your flair as well. I don’t understand this sub upgrading the flairs of disrespectful users.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 02:13 PM
46

You’re getting him mixed up with someone else. That wasn’t Dr. Youn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 03:42 PM
2

Posting this might be an invasion of privacy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 05:15 PM
1

Thank you. He did know going into the relationship that this might happen. We discussed it and he wanted to proceed anyway, he seemed to have changed his mind when we were together. I hope I can find someone who makes me just as excited or even more excited to be with them, but I haven’t felt that way in years. Not to mention the added criteria that they have to be HV as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 10:47 AM
2

I did date him pre-FDS, but honestly he checked off most if not all FDS requirements when we were together. He always planned really nice dates, paid, etc. He seemed really committed so it was such a blow when he did break up with me. My friends nor I never predicted it. I knew him really well when we got together and we got even closer when we were dating, I never thought he would do that. His friends are all in committed relationships so his behavior didn’t really add up, but he is quite a min…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 04:07 AM
6

I read the original posts and comments, he is not living at her place rent-free, he pays 40% of the mortgage (without his name being on the condo), 50% of the utilities, and 50% of the groceries. He’s still getting a bargain since it would likely cost more to rent a place and she has to obviously pay other fees associated with being a homeowner, but I’m glad his gf is getting some of the mortgage paid for her place.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 02:41 PM
2

Hey mods, is there any way to (by default) sort these weekly threads by live or new again? They used to be sorted like that by default and I liked that better because new comments didn’t get buried due to lack of upvotes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 05:08 AM
7

Also these LVM who string along someone for nearly a decade might not only have commitment issues, but also may have issues with their sexuality. There is only one relationship that I know of that lead to marriage after 10 years together (the couple met in their early 20s, no they were not teens). I worked with the guy and I thought he was gay, so did many other people in our workplace. Even in one of our first conversations together he said “I’m not gay I know everyone thinks that.” While I don…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 05:05 AM
29

change ✍️ the ✍️ date ✍️ location ✍️ and ✍️ see ✍️ how ✍️ he ✍️ reacts ✍️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 07:37 PM
107

This is why I don’t understand how flairs on this sub work. You’re considered an “FDS disciple,” but you’re criticizing another woman’s appearance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 09:32 PM
54

You can find a HVM at any age, in fact my friends that are married to HVM, met their husbands young (under 20). And both women are in very competitive grad school programs. They waited until after college to get married, so they got to have all the college experiences of living with female roommates, etc and they are not rushing to have kids. I don’t think you should be actively seeking out a relationship, but if it happens young, but it’s the right person, it should not hold you back at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 03:54 PM
10

Checking in would just be a quick conversation maybe once a month. He wouldn’t go hardly a waking hour without texting me, no, I would never initiate. It never made sense to me. When we were together, it felt like we were perfect for each other. Never once did I doubt him or our relationship. I waited a long time to be physical with him (even kissing, holding hands) we really built a strong emotional connection as friends, then when we went out on dates, and while we were in a relationship. He t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 05:34 AM
26

That’s the bottom line, most men are selfish with no empathy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 03:53 AM
13

My ex did this to me 😭 he undid the commitment when we were reaching close to 6 months in our relationship, but kept talking to me 24/7 all the same. He didn’t try to do anything sexual after the break-up at least. Men are trash.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 03:52 AM
4

When will it be time to have a HVM like this 😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 03:48 AM
12

She sounds like a great friend ❤️ she reminds me of many of my friends ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 04:26 AM
95

Somewhat controversial: I think it’s reasonable if the couple is unmarried, and the guy is paying all the mortgage, then yes it wouldn’t make sense to have the gf’s name on the mortgage. That’s👏why👏you👏don’t👏pick-out/buy👏a👏house👏with👏someone👏you’re👏not👏married👏to👏 She shouldn’t pay a dime on furniture and decorating the place if she does follow through with this dumb plan. But of course she will 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 04:23 AM
57

And unlike real estate, it’s not like we can be well advertised so that HVM can find us lol. We also are exposed to a very limited pool of men IRL, and even online dating doesn’t encompass everyone else who is out there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 05:33 AM
8

You’re right I see it as settling too, it doesn’t seem like a happy situation. It’s fine to always be diligent in the back of your mind, so you don’t get sucked into a bait and switch type of situation. But just always keeping your guard up and purposely being a brick wall all the time just seems exhausting and unhappy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 01:50 PM
16

I know you’re getting downvoted, but I somewhat agree. I did date someone once because he liked me more than I liked him (at least in the beginning) and seemed decent. It was tough though because I was always back and forth about whether or not I was attracted to him. He objectively wasn’t bad looking but I guess just not my type. Then, I started to fall for him emotionally, but it was still super hard to be naked with him or do anything sexual because I wasn’t fully physically attracted to him.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 01:37 PM
32

The lack of follow-through is a big one for me now. This one guy kept rescheduling our FaceTime and I blocked him. If he really wanted to talk to me he’d be looking forward to our FaceTime and not keep randomly rescheduling last minute with no good reason.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 02:52 AM
2

I agree with the tweet, it’s fine if you get him something or arrange for an activity, but I think ultimately his gift to you should be more expensive and thoughtful or at the very least the same value as your gift (but honestly it should not be equal unless you’ve been together a long time and are married).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 02:28 AM
146

I feel badly for any woman who is in the “talking phase”, early stage of a relationship, and/or has a shitty LVM partner especially around Valentine’s Day. There’s so much anticipation about whether or not he will do something, or whether or not he will dump you (lots of breakups happen on or around Valentine’s Day). Being completely single and not talking to anyone is honestly one of the best positions you can be in on Valentine’s Day. You don’t have to rely on another person to meet or exceed …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 02:22 AM
19

That first paragraph is so accurate. I had a guy do that to me all the time. I did pick my friends but I was always distracted and texting him the whole time and wondering when I was going to see him again. Or I’d leave early to see him. It’s so embarrassing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 12:32 AM
4

Nah I think she’s saying “Twitter gf” because this was posted on Twitter, so probably she and most people reading the tweet prefer Twitter over other social media.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 11:40 PM
11

Currently being in the adult industry does not align with FDS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 03:51 PM
13

So many Instagram “sugar daddies” try to do this as well
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 03:49 PM
4

I’ve waited that long in two of my relationships and I thought it was helpful, I could tell one person wasn’t interested in serious commitment and the other literally changed personalities around 3 months into the relationship. It was really hard not to sleep with them, especially because I was madly in love with one of them, but I think avoiding having them over in your room or their room helps (I shared a room with another girl for a long time so my bf usually couldn’t stay over).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 02:28 PM
4

I agree, I’ve been broken up at 4ish months (no sex)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 02:14 AM
8

Yes isn’t the rule 3 months AFTER the relationship is defined (not after you meet)?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 12:27 AM
1

Wait are you boyfriend/girlfriend? I thought the FDS rule was no sex until after the relationship was defined, ideally 3 months after that?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 12:26 AM
48

After my first break-up, I remember crying every so often about how long I had been single (8 months, 1 year, then 1.5 years), it would really wear me down. Finally, I was in another relationship, but this guy ended up being worse than the first (and he seemed so perfect in the beginning - they always do I guess). Anyway, someone recently asked me how long it's been since my last relationship, and here I am doing the math seeing that it hasn't even been 1 year yet! I actually want it to be longe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 04:23 AM
6

How do people fart anywhere outside of the bathroom? I never have to fart really during the day or in bed (sometimes one might slip out while I’m on my period, but that’s rare). These people should talk to their doctor about why they need to fart so much?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 07:34 PM
15

So cute ❤️ how did you meet?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 07:22 PM
8

Great to hear! I am glad he told her at an appropriate time. I didn’t mean to interrogate you haha I’ve just had issues in the past with boyfriends not telling their parents about me and always see it as a huge red flag now. I am glad that wasn’t the case with you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 03:06 AM
24

Thank you for sharing this, you are a role model and deserve soo much better. ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 03:04 AM
46

Always, always, always vet. Men can turn on you after years of marriage, having children, etc. Why did it take him so long to introduce you to his mom? Did she at least know about you already?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 08:21 PM
4

I really don't like to think about this part of my life but something similar happened to me when I just turned 18. I didn't send him pics, but we did sext. I was smart enough to end things before it got to exchanging sexual photos or meeting up, and luckily he didn't react badly to that. He also lived relatively close to me, I hope he was never able to trace me out but honestly he probably could have/did. He did know my first name and was somehow able to extrapolate what college I was going to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 03:58 AM
3

Exactly that’s why I said “They seem pretty HV to me except...”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 01:21 PM
14

They are all smart, in grad school, beautiful, some are in relationships with great bfs, etc. They seem pretty HV to me except for the fact that they have no morals regarding the men they hang out with (some of the other guys in their friend group are even worse than my ex - one got arrested). It perplexes me why they hang out with this crowd of guys, but whatever...my ex’s social circle is not my problem anymore 🤷‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 03:56 AM
67

My ex had a lot of female friends in his friend group. Their relationship with him was appropriate, and I never felt insecure or anything like that. In fact, I knew a lot of them before I had even met my ex and when my ex and I were dating I became very close to his friends. After my ex and I broke up, I had ran into his female friends on a night out and we texted a bit afterwards. My ex tried to reach out during this time and I asked them to tell him to leave me alone. Some of the bad moments i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 02:49 AM
3

I always had a passion in the career field I am in that also happens to be very competitive and well compensated. I decided early on only to date guys with similar or better education and careers compared to myself. Why? When I dated someone who was going into a lower paying field, he kept bashing my field and told me I should pursue something else. 🤷‍♀️I just feel that men’s egos are too fragile to handle a woman with more career success or makes more money than them. I am still in grad school …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 08:54 PM
26

Can anyone else explain this trend of having a good conversation with a guy on a dating app, he asks for your number and you give it to him because he seems genuine/cool, and then you're texting for a bit and he is suddenly mean out of NOWHERE? I obviously do not know OP's situation, maybe she did not meet this man off of an app, but his message reminded me of this phenomenon when I was on dating apps and I was wondering if anyone understands why this happens.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/21 03:51 PM
33

Also, why is the word "crazy" always used with women? You seldomly hear that term used when talking about a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 03:10 AM
10

I have screenshots saved of texts I sent to my girl friends after my ex and I broke up, they are really sad lol I was very distressed. It makes me horrified that I would even think about getting back together with a man that made me feel like that. I also have some screenshots of mean texts my ex sent me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 04:47 PM
7

It looks like a gay man tweeted this, unless the account is a woman using a male celebrity as a profile picture.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 06:38 PM
5

If they have been texting you for a few days but have not asked you on a date, what do you do? Do you just drop them with no explanation or do you say that you’d prefer to continue the conversation in person?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 04:19 PM
47

Thank you so much. You’re right, there’s some value even in these negative experiences. I can help others I think I’m gaining discernment and if I ever have a daughter one day, I will have a wealth of dating knowledge so she can maybe avoid some of the crappy situations I’ve been in with guys. I would also raise her to have high self-esteem. I could never talk about this stuff with my parents and it left me vulnerable. And I can even help friends now, but they don’t listen to me though lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 05:13 AM
132

I am luckily able to block and delete quickly now, but I just can't get over the hurt they cause me that fast. I was recently talking to a guy for a short time who was really sweet and then became kinda rude and had short responses out of nowhere. I was able to delete and block quickly, but even though we were only texting for a few days and had not even been on a date yet, it still hurt me. On the days where I feel low about myself, the way he treated me just gets added to the rhetoric that goe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 05:04 AM
6

Yeah I am considering blocking a guy I was acquaintances with and went on a couple dates with a few years back (I ended it because I was getting over someone else at the time). He reached out recently and wants to call me, and at first I was excited (?) about it, can't really tell you why. But then we texted a bit and he just gives me a weird feeling. Not an unsafe feeling or anything but I just feel the conversation will be uncomfortable and pointless. I don't think he will talk about what went…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 04:58 AM
331

I am never, ever, going to send a man a paragraph again. But how do you ladies remain strong when walking away from a man who was so involved in the beginning but starts to ignore you? Like even just reading this tweet hurts me tbh because it reminds me of all of my relationships and how the guys got super distant out of the blue. I want to be less sensitivie.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 04:46 AM
3

With all the crap that has happened, as well as the lives lost in 2020 (and now into 2021), I am just grateful for all the people I do have. I am grateful for my family, my friends, and my own life. I don’t feel lonely at all, even though I don’t get to see my loved ones that often with the lockdowns, I am just happy that they are still around and safe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 05:30 PM
3

I think it’s a combination of the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. Sometimes the relationship feels like the most incredible experience, and the rest of the time you feel lonelier and more anxious than you’ve ever been. I am just grateful that it’s been a very long time since I’ve been in a relationship with someone I really liked so I barely remember the good parts, but I remember lots of bad experiences from that relationship and more recent ones. It keeps me tf away from LVM. Not sure…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 05:28 PM
31

I don’t want to do those things for a husband even. I enjoy cooking but it does take a lot of time out of the days I cook. I don’t really eat that much so I can cook and it lasts me for a few days. When I have to cook for my family, or even just for me and one male family member, the food is gone in one meal. I am dreading when I am married and the days when it is my turn to cook for us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 05:46 AM
15

I love your watch so much. I know it is a luxury item but are you able to get a lot of use out of it? Like do you wear it to work?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 05:41 AM
25

This was my ex on the only Valentine’s Day that I was in a relationship. He just showed up with no present or anything, and expected me to pick out what to do. All of my other Valentine’s Days with friends and family were a lot better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 05:39 AM
2

Yes I have been meeting up with friends during this holiday break. It's been nice. I don't think anyone knows any eligibles for me lol and even if they did my life is chaotic right now as I am basically living in two different places for months at a time. It might be a little hard to date at the moment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 03:57 AM
1

I don't check his social media because he is blocked. I am thinking about just unfollowing his friends on Instagram, there is always a slight chance that he comes up in their post/story and that always triggers me a bit. It sucks because I knew a lot of his friends from before I even met him but I think them sometimes posting him keeps reminding me of the relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 03:56 AM
37

These age gap posts make me want to throw up. Why is a 34 year old so pathetic that he has to go after someone who is a decade younger than them? Why would the 24 year old woman even go for a man so much older? Every time one of my pickme friends or aunties brings up dating a much older man and I speak up, they say things like "he is so mature", "he has money", "men will cheat on you with a younger woman if you are the same age." It gives me a headache. Women live longer than men so you are almo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 03:22 AM
12

I used to think like this, but never verbally expressed it thank goodness. I think it’s because my mom is with my dad who can be a monster at times. My mom is an actual angel and I would see women that I perceived as less selfless, more rude, etc than my mom getting treated so much better than her by their boyfriends and husbands. I couldn’t understand why they got such good guys and my mom was stuck with my dad. That thinking was so firmly engrained in me until recently. It’s sad and if you thi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 01:08 AM
1

You should always introduce your bf to your friends imo and have him hang out with you all of you on a regular basis (doesn’t have to be every single hang out, but at least some of them). Anytime I felt uncomfortable in the past to introduce a guy to my friends, it was because I was trying to hide something about him which is not a good sign! Also if you’re afraid your friend is going to flirt with your bf then she’s not really your friend. The HVM-HVW couples in my life always hang out with eac…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 01:46 AM
120

Thank you for explaining this! I know I have some growing to do because I interpreted his story as he wanted to see if she would say yes without the guilt of him having cancer clouding her judgement 🤦‍♀️I’m so dumb. You’re right, if he wasn’t sure he was ready to be engaged before why is he all of a sudden ready when he has a serious illness. She is a 👸 for catching on and leaving though!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 06:25 AM
12

I think it’s mostly OK for men to be OBGYNs. Yes, there are probably a few predatory ones, but honestly in any specialty unfortunately you are going to have predatory doctors. You can search news articles about sex offender doctors and many of them will not be OBGYNs. OBGYN has a lot of variety, it’s not just Pap smears. It involves delivering babies, performing surgeries, treating cancers such as ovarian cancer (one of the most deadly cancers). Some people are in it for the gift of life, surger…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 06:18 AM
11

Reddit is the most disgusting male-dominated misogynist space. Reddit's only saving grace is this sub. However, I often wish this community started on some other website other than Reddit. Every time I log in here and look at popular posts on other subs, my eyes roll to the back of my head at some of the posts and comments by dumb men and pickmes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 03:44 AM
–

I realized the only reason I liked being in a relationship was because I could stop worrying about "finding someone" and focus on other aspects of my life. Seriously, whenever I was in relationships my grades would increase dramatically, I would find amazing work and extracurricular opportunities, and really enjoy my friendships and relationships with family more. All because the focus was taken off of trying to find someone. I know it sounds crazy but that's how things were for me, I really spe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 05:40 AM
16

I still can't believe I sent a paragraph to a man after we broke up explaining how he hurt me (don't be a clown like me). In the first few months of our relationship he could tell I was sad based just on the sound of my voice on the phone (I was not sad about him - it was about completely unrelated things). I am good at hiding my emotions and did not want him to even know I was sad at the time, he was just that worried about me. Then when our relationship ended, I really thought he did not know …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 05:32 AM
4

Be careful, a lot of men will plan a future and express their feelings, but it means nothing to them. They are completely different people 3-4 months down the line. Just speaking from experience, I hope that is not the case with you though!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 03:45 AM
30

I honestly don't like it myself when people are super skeptical on this sub, but c'mon ladies this is the bare minimum. Not really sure why this is getting so many upvotes. All of my exes would have done the same thing and always sent me very sweet messages like this and they ended up being LVM. How long have you two been together?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 07:31 PM
25

I am in the same position. I don't do casual dating and I am not necessarily ready for a serious relationship leading to marriage. I just stopped talking to men (in a romantic context) altogether. I realized I placed a lot of self-worth and the worth of other women on whether or not they had a boyfriend/fiance/husband, had a lot of male attention, etc. I used to think women that were in relationships were more successful and happier than women who were not. I also used to think I would never be …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 11:36 PM
9

A "CNC kink" sounds super unhealthy and sounds like internalized misogyny. However, the claim in this TikTok does not seem like something that can actually be backed by research? Does anyone have any sources, I briefly Google'd this and there are many theories as to why women have this "kink." The websites talking about this specific theory seemed to be just blogs/unreliable sources...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 11:11 PM
31

Even the girlfriend title does not mean much, they will still use you...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 02:34 AM
7

Also what about this post? https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/g2aoym/guy_ive_been_dating_sent_me_pictures_of_a_famous/ He doesn't seem that HV to me?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 12:16 AM
2

Exactly I feel like I get chewed alive on this sub when I say I want a HVM "you need to be happy with being single the rest of your life" are the replies I get lol. I thought this was a dating sub?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 12:02 AM
203

Dating straight men is so counter-intuitive. I kept pursuing and working hard for what I wanted career-wise, and I was rewarded. If I applied the same logic to dating though, I would just be taken advantage of. It really confuses me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 12:08 AM
3

FDS is all about teaching the skills to always remember that Yes I have been on FDS for a very long time and I am aware of that. I have known these couples for forever, some of the guys I knew before I met their fiances/wives. They have made many signficant sacrifices for their SOs so I think it is the real deal. Some of them don't even have social media, I hang out with them in person a lot (especially pre-pandemic). I am obviously fine with staying single, I have been single most of my life an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 03:08 PM
14

It's gross that he compared them to other couples and then when he's talking about saving his money it is all about him and not their life together. Also, he said initially she does not have to pay for groceries.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 04:29 PM
15

How do you all stop the comparison? I have had so many friends meet amazing guys who are more kind, committed, intelligent, etc. than I could ever imagine. And many of them have been getting engaged and married recently. I keep asking myself, why have I had to date so many losers? Many of my friends never dated anyone before finding their HVM yet I have had to go through so many shitty relationships and even talking phases in dating. Even as I got older and learned to block at the first red flag…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 03:21 AM
2

Gotta love those false starts 🙃
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 03:57 AM
1

you need to find away to close the door mentally in your mind and move on completely Yeah, that's the million-dollar question, how do I do that? I've sought counseling services at my university but you're limited on the number of appointments you can have but hopefully, I can start seeing someone regularly soon. It's odd because I only really miss him when I am extremely stressed in my life, like right now I am not as stressed so I don't care about him anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 01:49 AM
7

Love this :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 02:45 AM
2

In a perfect world, I agree with your statement, but I feel that most men (and women) would lie about their sexual past. Even if they truly did not have a one stand or whatever, they may have still done it if the opportunity had presented itself. Unfortunately, there is really no way of knowing for sure if a man had a promiscuous past/if they truly do have the same values regarding intimacy as you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 09:41 PM
17

I was about to post this as well. I agree it normalizes porn which is disgusting. It's because Reddit is dominated by men, especially LVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 12:50 AM
5

? It is not sexual at all. I just mean light-hearted conversation to get to know each other better, there is obviously also serious conversation interspersed. It is important to me personally to be with someone who does not take themselves too seriously.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 02:49 PM
3

Thanks, PM'd!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 04:05 AM
4

Exactly yeah, I actually joined this sub right after my most recent break-up which was months ago now. I haven’t actually been dating at all during this time but have been on this sub a lot just to learn new things and to reflect on my previous relationships. It’s been good but I still won’t date for a while because I feel like once I catch feelings for someone I stop seeing the red flags and I need to learn how to not do that lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 10:01 PM
106

Yup, no one understands why I have completely stopped dating, this is why. Not only do I not trust men, but I also do not trust myself to make the right decisions when it comes to dating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 10:19 PM
2

My friends are married to some. Any guy that I have dated or that has shown interest in me however has been a LVM. I never once regretted rejecting a guy because I know they would have been a net negative in my life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 02:42 AM
37

He paid for the movie tickets, but yes I understand what you are saying for sure
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 05:36 PM
9

Yes definitely don’t put up with a guy who does not listen to and respect your boundaries!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 11:45 PM
13

Despite this I actually think he was just completely zoned out into this like sexual realm and didn’t intentionally sexually assault me This is completely untrue. Men (and women) can stop at any time. I had a few times where I was coming close to losing my virginity, like the guy's D was literally touching my V, and I changed my mind and said no. He immediately pulled away (as he should). Men in my past have also stopped because of my non-verbal cues, I was zoning out once when we were fooling a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 11:38 PM
41

Let’s try to not look at things so negatively, this is a cool gesture for her birthday and a good example of how a man should be celebrating his SO’s birthday.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 11:31 PM
10

I love success stories like these, thanks for sharing this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 06:04 PM
2

Me too! My friends never understand this about me but I just can’t kiss anyone so soon 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 04:08 PM
7

In both my relationships I didn’t let them kiss me until about 6 dates...I just personally don’t feel comfortable kissing someone I don’t know that well 🤷‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 02:05 PM
21

That made me giggle (only because I used to think the same way). You live and you learn!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 08:03 PM
3

Yeah it’s scary because THEY bring up future plans as if it’s actually happening only for them to break-up with you shortly after. Obviously planning many years down the line can be a sign of “future faking” but I had a bf that said he was planning my birthday which was 6 months down the line (which I thought was a promising sign) and then he broke up weeks after telling me that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 08:12 PM
7

Exactly! It’s happened to me twice, being broken up with at the 4 month mark by men who seemed to be serious with me! It’s terrible because I start getting very attached by then and they leave me :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 01:23 PM
10

It’s really crazy how fickle men are. A newer acquaintance/friend of mine had a seemingly dream-like relationship. She had met this guy and he seemed HV, buying her gifts/flowers, being super thoughtful. She posted him a lot on her Instagram, and the posts were adorable (though he had no posts of her - which was a red flag in hindsight). I had even messaged her a few times during covid and she was telling me that she feels she lucked out with him and she was planning on applying to grad schools …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 04:09 AM
6

I used to wait until 1am sometimes later for my ex to call me, and sometimes he would just not call me at all. It sucked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 10:21 PM
2

THANK YOU! I took some time and watched her videos. I used to think the word "narcissist" was overused, but now I totally get it, my ex was/is a narcissist and I was part of his game for so long. I am going to keep watching her videos and hopefully soon I will be on the road to recovery lol!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 08:18 PM
5

How can I stop having emotions tied to an ex? I always have emotions tied to my first boyfriend (we talked until recently - 2 years post break-up). He’s deleted and blocked now. I used to be really sad about our break-up, but now I am just angry? And I really want to stop feeling anything towards him because I don’t want him to have a hold on me. Also, I was just thinking if I ever saw him with a new gf it would crush me. I was in another relationship that ended more recently and the guy objecti…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 06:04 AM
38

Me too I love it when men are this stupid
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 07:51 PM
1

Hi I obviously deleted my original post because I realized I wasn’t being a HVW by being jealous of another woman. I’m not sure how much of the original post you remember, but I just wanted to say that now I’ve gotten to spend considerable time with the couple, you were right in a lot of ways. My guy friend isn’t really that special of a bf to the woman I was jealous of and while he’s definitely a fun friend I’m personally glad I’m not dating him now. The woman he’s with is really awesome though…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 09:10 PM
1

I relate to this so much. Yes those memories are especially painful for me too. It takes a lot to introduce a bf to your friends and there’s a lot of anticipation involved regarding whether or not they are going to get along with each other. When you finally get around to introducing him to your friends and everyone gets along super well, it’s a big relief and it’s a good feeling that all the people you deeply care about can all be friends. It brings so much happiness and it makes you closer as …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 08:34 PM
1

Ehh if you’re still close enough to your current area in which a relationship would still be possible then nah I don’t think you’re guilty. If you’re moving like a plane ride away then maybe lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 04:49 AM
6

Oh yeah I am saying why was he on the app a few months ago before he went on the trip haha. Like no person would be looking to start a relationship if they knew they were going to leave a for a 2 month long trip soon. So I am not sure why he was on that app when you first started talking to him in the first place.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 04:31 AM
15

That's trash, do no text him. Just block and delete. The other commenter made a good point, why tf would he be on a dating app if he's about to take a long trip out of the country.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 04:27 AM
10

Block him sis. Stop letting him take any headspace. Not texting you for 3 days is clownery.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 04:25 AM
8

I definitely believe in true love. I feel that certain things about FDS such as having boundaries and standards, are extremely important in life and need to be formed before you even think about dating. But other things, like certain rules for example like waiting a minimum of 3 months to sleep with someone, not telling a man about your past, and not telling him about your psychological trauma, etc. are not really for finding a HVM, rather they are to protect yourself from a LVM. If someone is r…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 04:25 AM
3

It's hard to say, there are a few guys at 18/19 who are looking for serious relationships, I have two friends married to HVM and they both met them at 18/19. But there are so many trash guys that are university-age as well just looking for sex. My advice: it's okay to go on dates here or there, but do not get your heart too set on a guy unless he really goes above and beyond and shows you how much he cares for you. Do not ever feel that you need a man/relationship or feel bad if you are x age an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 04:08 AM
2

Congrats, you are going to love it by the way. I know a few people who are MA's and they enjoy it a lot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 04:02 AM
6

I read the comments on the original post. WHY are so many men AND women saying that you should expect to go Dutch on dates?! It is odd how sometimes there is a huge disconnect between online and "real-life" and this is definitely one of those instances. One of my exes would not even let me come close to paying, and the other definitely paid all throughout the talking stage without question and then avoided going on dates later on (even though I would pay for him sometimes during the relationship…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 03:34 AM
2

Wow he has no respect for your boundaries, gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 09:25 PM
24

Yeah my recent-ex used to literally talk about marriage and kids WITH ME like down to the children’s names. Then he dumped me right after I told him I was not ready to have sex yet. 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 03:26 PM
7

I like that line “I have friends to hang out with, I’m on a dating app to date.” Will definitely use that if I ever go on OLD lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 10:11 PM
1

Yeah both my exes came from really stable households, and their parents were very much in love. I do not really have many single male friends so I don’t know if this applies to them, I was more so talking about my female friends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 08:53 PM
3

That’s a good response that you gave. But yeah that’s so stupid that he turns around and says he’s not ready for anything serious later on. I just don’t understand the psychology of lying this much. I am just going to take talking about marriage and kids early on (like in the first few dates) as a red flag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 05:02 PM
16

In almost all the HVM-HVW couples I know, both parties come from parents who are still happily married. The one exception to this is a guy who’s father died early on, but the rest all come from parents who have strong relationships. Out of all of my single and chronically-getting-hurt friends, all but one come from either broken homes, or parents who fight a lot have generally unhealthy marriages. Some have parents who have had an arranged marriage (including my parents). I am just worried that …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 05:45 AM
4

Exactly you can’t trust anything that comes out of their mouth. I totally understand the mantra “actions speak louder than words” now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 04:23 AM
2

Or it is two-sided but just temporarily (like for a month). At least that's how it's been for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 04:20 AM
2

I think so, I definitely felt it with my first ex, he was very affectionate and loving. And I had some dates where I felt it with my second ex. My first ex ended up breaking up with me because he had some commitment issues and suggested that we get back together in a few years if we are still single (yuck). My second ex and I ended up not being compatible at all so that's why it was probably an intermittent feeling lol. However, I do think if I meet the right HVM I will have that feeling of love…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 04:19 AM
1

Alumni events from your undergrad (be willing to drive to adjacent cities to expand your options) Such a good idea. Would you suggest just showing up at these events alone, or do you normally bring a friend?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 04:09 AM
6

Even if he makes a show of deleting them in front of your face he could have backups It is so crazy how every photo/video can get saved forever. My ex took a not-so-flattering photo of me (I wasn't nude, just making a goofy face) and when it first happened he literally showed me deleting it and then deleting it from his recently deleted photos on his iPhone (actually I may have done these steps on his phone myself - can't remember). And then later it was his contact photo for me!? And then again…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 04:06 AM
2

Often times undergraduate institutions have a career services office where you can do mock interviews (this service should be covered in your tuition). I am sure they are still doing mock Zoom interviews right now. It might be a good resource to get feedback on your interview performance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 03:49 AM
4

Wait why did you have the app yourself? I am totally not blaming you for that, I am just trying to make a point. The fact that you felt the need to check on him shows that deep down you did not trust him. Did he do something that made you not trust him? Or have you been cheated on in the past? The only reason I am saying those things is my ex-boyfriend and I got together from Bumble (we had met once or twice before but did not start dating until after talking on Bumble). I NEVER felt the need to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 03:43 AM
6

LOL those guys are trying to fast track sex and let you think they are marriage minded (they're not) This happened to me with my last bf and I was honestly shocked about how someone could lie so easily about something as serious as marriage. He talked about marriage, kids, etc. with me just so he could get laid. Men honestly have no morals, it is disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 03:33 AM
8

I can understand where you are coming from, and most men are LV by default lol so I am not going to disagree with that. But do you believe that women who are on apps right now are LV? Back in March, when lockdown was just starting up, I did think it was absolutely absurd for anyone to be on apps. But then came, April, May, June, and now we are in July and the case count is rising again in the US. This is not going away anytime soon and is only getting worse, the risk will probably be around mayb…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 03:28 AM
3

I have never received flowers or even a gift from a guy, but I have gotten my exes gifts. It sucks. Luckily I have a mom and best friend that absolutely adore me and get me things all the time (and I do the same for them). It will be honestly hard to find a man that spoils me more than them!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 02:40 PM
5

I have only had two short relationships that were extremely shitty (in similar ways) and I feel like giving up on dating. Mostly because I did a lot of self-reflection and self-improvement after the first relationship, vetted throughly, but then the second guy still ended up being trash. Whereas my friends who are engaged/married to HVM, were the biggest pickmeishas/did not follow FDS rules and found their husband in their first relationships. I am happy it worked out for them and they were not …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 02:32 PM
21

I have a (sort of) FDS success story My first love broke up with me 2 years ago. Post break-up, he would reach out to me all the time, we would talk 24/7, but then I would ask him why he did x,y,z to me and then he would text back “I don’t want to get into this.” And then we wouldn’t talk for a few months until he would reach out again. We hardly met up, but his intentions were never sexual or to get back together. He just wanted to keep talking to me about everything in his life and ask me abou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 04:37 PM
53

Lmao. I got “picked” on Bumble by a guy I knew IRL but only had the balls to ask me out after we matched on a dating app and I messaged him first. No, it did not go well, it was a train wreck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 09:13 PM
2

I've been blamed on this sub for their behavior before. That's unfortunate, it's not your fault. Men can be so manipulative, it's astonishing. I hate dating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 11:47 PM
100

This guy is so stupid. But the woman is a queen for blocking him!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 07:33 PM
3

This happens to me too after 2-4 months as well. It's so frustrating because that's a good chunk of time to waste on someone, and even in hindsight it wasn't obvious that these men would turn out like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 06:52 PM
14

Take the job. I have seen this scenario happen multiple times and if the guy wants to be with you, he will encourage you to take the job and will try to find a job in the area and move with you. If he does not do this, at least you know his true colors and won't have to waste any more time on him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 01:42 PM
5

Ugh I’m so sorry. Same thing happened to me twice, and I was really in love with the first guy. Both kept promising they would tell their parents about me at a later date, and surprise they never did. It’s super hurtful to be actively kept a secret. My first ex’s parents were family friends with my best friend’s family, and my ex asked me to tell my best friend not to say anything to her parents or his. It was so embarrassing having to do that :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 10:39 PM
3

That’s awesome of you, I’m so happy to hear that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 07:49 PM
4

OP is there anyway you could message his current gf to tell her that he is cheating? EDIT: Also my bad for not reading your earlier comment carefully!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 07:43 PM
30

There is an ongoing trend with South Asian Muslim guys where they date white/non muslim girls and make them forever girlfriends for years on end and then turn around and get an arranged marriage or rush to get a South Asian girl. I think he wanted the whole deal: have a nice white girlfriend and be on the search for his South Asian Muslim wife who his parents would accept. 🚨🤦‍♀️ LADIES PLEASE BE WARY OF THIS I HAVE SEEN THIS HAPPEN SO MANY TIMES AND IT HAS HAPPENED TO ME! The ones who seriously …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 07:34 PM
18

On the bright side, at least you know early on to block this one lol. A lot of guys make you their girlfriend but still treat you like this. They manipulate you for sex by giving you the title of "girlfriend," making you believe that there is commitment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 05:16 AM
20

If she's happy posting the pics, that's one thing. But I bet she isn't. The attention she's getting from other men isn't the attention she really wants and deserves. She deserves love and attention from her partner and is choosing to throw away her values instead of loving herself more. THANK YOU. I felt really bad for her watching this video ugh. I wish someone would just DM her this thread on her TikTok so that she knows she deserves better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 05:06 AM
16

I obviously don't know how the man reacted about it, but he may not have really cared. Especially when she says "he doesn't want to admit he's jealous." Is that the case, or did he not care? I mean he probably doesn't care about her anyway if he's going on Instagram and liking random women's sexy pics.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 05:04 AM
4

Thank you for your kind words ❤️Yes I’m actually fortunate enough to be working from home right now and I am moving out in a few weeks to start school. I honestly don’t know what brought this low point on, I think it’s just a very delayed reaction to quarantine or something, I should meditate to understand my feelings better. That’s good advice about eating healthy, I have not been doing that recently because I have stopped cooking and just eat frozen meals all the time or fill up on coffee.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 05:57 PM
4

Make time for yourself and make sure that guy is BLOCKED. You will never move past the break-up until you have no access to him and vice versa. Remove his friends off social media too if you need to. It took me 2 years to block my first love (I only did it recently), I even dated someone else within those 2 years, but I still feel somewhat heartbroken over my first ex after all this time because we were talking pretty regularly up until a few months ago. Don't get me wrong, I am doing much bette…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 04:49 AM
2

This is probably different for every woman, because I feel that these dealbreakers are formed after you have experienced a relationship in which that particular thing became a huge problem. For me, I have had the repeated problem of being hidden from the person's family, so I would definitely ask a future SO if his family would be accepting of me. Another thing was alcohol, I dated someone who drank way too much for my comfort level and then I dated someone who didn't drink at all and hated bein…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 04:43 AM
44

A HVM would encourage you to take an opportunity that will benefit your career/life. Even if it makes the relationship temporarily long-distance or difficult, he will find a way to make it work and support you. A long time ago I was on a premed subreddit on my old account, and a man (not in medicine) was posting on behalf of his girlfriend, asking about which medical school was the better choice. His plan was to move with her wherever she goes. One school was a lot more convenient for his career…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 08:30 PM
2

That is such a great idea! I am sure there are many other women like me also shopping for themselves or their female friends/family haha :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 08:15 PM
40

I recently bought a nice piece of jewelry for myself and all the reviews on it were either written by men saying they bought it for their SOs, or women saying that their husband/bf bought it for them. Oh well, I can spoil myself haha.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 04:50 AM
5

That's awful, I am glad he is your ex now
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 02:57 AM
9

I don’t ever reach out first, I wait for him to text me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 05:59 AM
9

That’s the choice you make when you stay, I’m saying if she can’t stay without having resentment then just leave. Look acting in spite like this is not healthy in a relationship. If this is the man you want to spend the rest of your life with, and possibly have children with, doing spiteful acts like these is super unhealthy for yourself and for potential children.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 01:12 AM
1

I think he should call you at times that are convenient for you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/20 06:48 PM
3

That’s so sad. So many premeds make their SO’s move, I’m especially wary of the male premeds that do this. I’m going to medical school myself so I can’t move for anyone. But let’s say hypothetically I wasn’t in medicine thought my SO was, I wouldn’t move for him unless we were married/engaged. It is a really big and selfless decision to move to a new city away from friends and family just because your SO has to go to med school there. That shows marriage level commitment, and your SO needs to sh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/20 05:00 PM
7

:(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/20 04:47 PM
37

Yup I met a girl when I was a kid and she told me she was named after her dad’s ex-gf ??? Her mother must have been a huge pickmeisha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/20 07:36 AM
43

I was looking up erotic literature a while back as something new to get me in the mood, and I sorted by top stories. Almost all were incest related. If they weren’t, they were about non-consent or anal. I had to scroll really far down to find a story about realistic loving sex in a monogamous relationship. I don’t think I’ll even be seeking out erotic literature again, just seeing those incest titles disgusts me. Why is this genre of porn so sought after? It shows that many men are likely lookin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/20 07:34 AM
25

I always wondered if this fantasy was popular in porn because of all the male minors or very young adult men that watch porn. That was my theory on it, but I guess that would be the “best” case scenario since the men are closer to the portrayed age of the women. The worst (but very likely) case may be older men fetishizing very young women :( It’s horrible how accessible porn is on the Internet, I came across at it at such a young age. There needs to be more legislation on this. It’s not a healt…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/20 07:26 AM
5

That’s a good thing because the end of the day the only person you can count on for your whole life is yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/20 06:41 AM
3

No don’t do it. They should make time for you during the day. They can call you while commuting, while cooking, while going for a walk, etc. No excuses. I actually had an ex call me very late at night because he was hiding me from his parents who he lived with at the time, which was super disrespectful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/20 06:40 AM
15

I am going to say something weird and perhaps slightly controversial but hear me out. I really feel that if men need you to financially support them, they actually feel somewhat emasculated (even if they are taking advantage of your $). They just don’t see you in that feminine role as a wife/gf/whatever because you had to be the provider. They finally become successful, meet a new woman, and provide for her financially because it makes them feel like a “man.” I actually know men that didn’t date…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/20 06:26 AM
5

At least she was compensated, but yeah it's frustrating to support your man all those years and when he can finally repay you all he does is use his newfound higher status to find a mistress and divorce you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/20 05:47 AM
6

Honestly, no one should have to support the other person through school. Why do people mix their love life and career life? I knew another woman who was in a lukewarm relationship; she was not in love with the guy at all, but he had a relatively good job and was not abusive or anything. She told me she went back and forth about dumping him, but she was thinking about her future and going to med school, and she said living with him and having him pay bills would minimize her student loans by a lo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/20 05:39 AM
8

Thank fuck I only take from them and give as little as humanly possible. This is excellent dating advice for women. Men take so much out of you emotionally, and sometimes you don't always have the most control over that, but you can definitely tangibly control other things like giving them money/gifts or sex. Hopefully not giving them those things or at least holding off for a while (in terms of sex) will minimize your loses emotionally if shit hits the fan.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/20 05:27 AM
4

This is why I need this sub, I don’t want to end up like these poor women. However, I hope these women see that it is good riddance after all if these awful men leave them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/20 05:22 AM
8

I think she means husband!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/20 05:20 AM
5

Yup I know a woman (while she was pregnant) who was married and her husband left her for a nurse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/20 05:18 AM
8

Probably catfishing with someone else’s pic
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 06:42 PM
4

Something tells me if you’re so worried about this, you might like him a little more than a friend despite him having a gf...if that case distance yourself and focus on your female friendships.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 06:39 PM
7

Are you official? If not definitely keep your clothes on. Even if official, wait as long as possible honestly, focus on your your mental connection. Do you share the same values? Can you talk about anything together without feeling like you might soon run out of things to talk about? I don’t think it would hurt to feel around when making out (just to figure what he has going for him down there lol), but I would say not to go father than that for a few months. Men can seem HV just to get sex :p
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 05:29 AM
11

My friends post me with whoever I am seeing LOL especially because I have traditional as fuck family on my social media who’d be mad if they saw a guy I was dating on my socials. So my exes can probably see whoever I am with on my friends social media but I don’t even care anyway 🤷‍♀️ However when my recent ex and I broke up, I asked my friend to take down all the pics on her profile of us. Literally the day she did that, my first ex texted me (which he hadn’t done since me and the other guy got…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 04:11 AM
70

Yes, mothers and future mothers should be protective of their daughters and sons (these pedos don’t discriminate).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 04:01 AM
7

Being in a relationship and miserable is the most horrible feeling and so isolating. It’s hard/embarrassing to open up to friends about what’s happening, so you just feel so alone. I feel it’s easier to open up to friends about feeling down about being single rather than being unhappy in a relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 03:59 AM
16

I was very panicked about this from 20-22 (people in my area get married relatively young). I was then in a sucky relationship that ended, also lived with my parents for a while and was reminded of their sucky marriage and how much it affected me growing up, and then I stopped panicking. Being single is sooo much better than being with the wrong person. I used to feel like I was missing out on things in life by not having a romantic partner. My friend got engaged; I can also buy myself diamond j…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 03:55 AM
3

Exactly, and also we have almost no control in regards to when we will get married, especially if we want a HVM. All we can do is be HVW and keep vetting those LVM. Aside from that it’s pretty much out of our control, so no need to worry about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 03:47 AM
9

Playing stupid is the most manipulative tactic (by men and women, though it's usually men). I can't stand it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/20 09:44 PM
7

I am embarrassed for her because she is MARRIED to a man like that. How can you be a grown man, married, and not know how to grocery shop? I used to feel bad about being single, but if these are the type of men women are in relationships with then fuck I would rather be single forever than to deal with this shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/20 09:41 PM
5

Omg exactly. One of the reasons I used to think having a bf was so desirable is because you always have someone to do spontaneous fun things with (ofc I also have friends, but I thought a bf is down for that even more) this guy was such a drag, so boring. Plus he basically had every red flag FDS talks about lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/20 09:21 PM
4

Exactly. He was actually more fixated that I spent that much gas money to go there, it was maybe like $7 in gas if even that, and I actually had an appointment in a city halfway between so it was not as if all the gas money went to go to the mall. He was so cheap in general especially about gas. I remember I asked if he wanted to go out to the city because otherwise, we would just have to hang out a few local parks since everything in the town we live in closes by 9 PM (the parks are technically…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/20 05:33 PM
19

I was just thinking about how being single is nice because you don't have to report to someone about where you are all the time and be judged for it. I remember one day I randomly decided to go to an outlet mall about an hour from my house just because I had a day off so why not. I am not much of a shopper and super picky so I think I came home with less than <$30 worth of 2 articles of clothing. I remember I told my bf at the time and he was so judgemental about me spending time and money to dr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/20 04:21 AM
3

I don't think that should make a difference!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 11:11 PM
9

I mean you have done this before right haha? If he thinks you are a stalker weirdo, he can decline the follower request or he can message you and ask why you followed him, and you can explain why "I just thought you were cute and saw you also graduated from ____ in ____!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 11:07 PM
6

I don’t think it will hurt if you try to follow him, and then if he accepts, like a pic or two. Good luck!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 10:56 PM
17

Premeds have been the worst guys I’ve ever met and I’m sure it translates to med students and doctors. I’m about to be a med student myself and not looking forward to the types of guys I’m going to meet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 05:40 AM
22

Lol welcome to the club. I have only had 2 extremely shitty super short relationships, so of course I feel the way you do about fearing that I won’t find someone. You need to be fearless. Fear drives people to do irrational things like settling for a LVM or dealing with shitty behavior because you’re afraid there’s no one else. Being single is way better than either of those things, and that’s what makes me less fearful of the possibility that I might not have a life partner. You have just gotte…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 05:37 AM
14

I’m not experienced in this area, but girl a 10 year age gap is too much. You’re 25 find someone close to your age to enjoy your 20s with! Or just enjoy it with friends! There must be something off about this guy if he’s not dating women his own age.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 04:57 AM
11

Your ring is so elegant and eye-catching, I love it. And thank you for sharing your success story, that LVM did not deserve you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 04:02 AM
6

Oh yeah I mean he would accommodate my schedule early in the morning after we had been going on dates, so it wasn’t stalkerish like the LVM you’re talking about lol. He paid all the time in the beginning, but yeah he ended up being very cheap with me and it was definitely hurtful. I had bought him dinner a few times (cringe I know), I just think when couples eat together it should be one check and the guy should pay all the time when courting, and most of the time while in a relationship. It’s r…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 02:57 AM
25

I met a really sweet guy, who kept chasing me, even though I had some trust issues about relationships. He kept reassuring me and told me he wasn’t that kind of guy. He went completely out of his way for me (I worked a weird schedule so he would wake up ridiculously early to see or talk to me), took me on cute dates and paid, etc. He asked me to be his girlfriend quickly (which at the time I thought was good). I brought him around to my friends. These friends are honest with me about guys and th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/20 10:11 PM
21

Pick-mes who start caring for their SO like they are their child are so cringey, you can smell the desperation. Their NVM boyfriends are even worse...how can you even call yourself a man when you can barely provide for or take care of yourself?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/20 09:50 PM
1

Thank you yes I think I am going to unfriend/unfollow rather than block! I will definitely do it soon but not right this minute because idk it’s just hard to process all this after just blocking my ex which took me 2 whole years 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/20 07:08 PM
3

Thank you! And yes I’ve done both of those things but occasionally I do search up their profiles and take a peak. I am going to see how I do these next few weeks and if the temptation is too much I will delete them. I felt like I broke up with them too in a way because I had gotten really close to a lot of his friends (he had some female friends in his group, I am only really friends with women lol). After the break-up, none of them reached out to me (even the one I have been family friends with…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/20 04:58 AM
21

I’m not sure why you are being downvoted, I made this post because I have been told this phrase from an ex while he was breaking up with me, and just found it patronizing lol. It’s a pretty common break-up phrase in an attempt to make the other person feel better, which it really doesn’t. But yeah low self esteem isn’t a HV trait, I hope your bf is trying to work through his issues (this includes therapy) and not making you perform emotional labor to help his self esteem. Instead of sulking, he …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/20 12:22 AM
12

Finally I blocked both of my exes to try to leave the past behind. My recent one I had no feelings for, but I had deleted his contact before blocking so I had to dig to find his number again so I could actually have him blocked (to get rid of any chance of him contacting me). The first ex has always been so hard for me to block, he has been contacting me constantly since the break up 2 years ago, only stopping a month ago when I sent him a rude message. I assumed he blocked me, but I just didn’t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 09:05 PM
33

I had an ex act similarly, it was so patronizing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 06:32 PM
13

Yes don’t agree to any house or anything until he at least proposes. My friend unfortunately agreed to the apartment first because she was okay moving in as a gf even though it was suboptimal for her (I told her this is not the right call lol). However, she was proposed to right after they picked out the place so it worked out but still it was a risky move on her part I think.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 06:06 PM
63

You shouldn’t have to keep a man in check to keep him HV! He should be HV on his own without your emotional labor.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 05:29 PM
50

Might want to be careful with using real name and pic (we can see this on the top of the screenshot). Based on the texts it seems like he respects your position. Something similar happened to my best friend with her boyfriend and she was proposed to shortly after. But yes be vigilant and don’t let him persuade you into moving in as a gf.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 05:27 PM
86

Ladies please report these sugar daddy accounts to Instagram. Instagram is great at taking them down within a few days of the report.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 05:24 PM
10

Random rant, but I had a LVM ex who criticized me for talking about my job in healthcare too much, which is in a field I am passionate in. However, I actually noticed that my ex talks about his job a lot (in a closely related healthcare field), mostly ranting about how much he hated it. Whenever I tried to talk about things outside of work, he never wanted to hear about my interests that didn’t overlap with his, so then he would circle the convo back to our work because we were in similar fields…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 04:14 AM
28

My friend and I were on a walk and this car full of guys started slowly following us, eventually they pulled up next to us and asked if we had bfs. We both said “yes.” They said “lucky dudes” and drove off. I can only imagine what God-awful catcalls they were planning for us if we had said “no.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 09:18 PM
1

It makes me so mad, now it’s nearly impossible to meet someone organically because men rarely ask women they meet IRL on dates anymore! I don’t even mind if I’m not asked in person and over text instead, but they can’t even do that much. The number of times I have been asked out on a date by guys I met in person in the past 3 years was 3 (technically 2; 1 of the guys never followed through, he was drunk when he asked). That’s hardly anything, especially if you are not attracted to all the guys/y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 09:16 PM
23

So I recently made a burner profile on Hinge (deleted it about 2 hours later) because I was just curious who was out there since I am taking a hiatus on dating (pandemic, new civil rights era, moving soon). Keep in mind, I have almost no experience with OLD, so this is very new to me. Why do so many guys act like this, like they are some prize to win? So many guys write things in their profile like “looking for a woman who can actually hold a conversation” it makes me so annoyed. Do they actuall…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 04:05 AM
2

HAHA I agree just based on these few text messages
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 02:19 AM
8

His response is weird and gross I agree. But just because something is a virus doesn’t mean it can’t be cured, there are not too many examples of this but Hepatitis C is curable. The antiviral medications inhibit proteins involved in viral replication and assembly I believe; fascinating stuff.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 02:16 AM
19

The lack of comments is a bit concerning lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 02:06 AM
32

Exactly I see a lot of toxic behavior normalized on my TikTok feed (I don’t use it that much so I don’t think my algorithm has adjusted yet). I see a lot of TikToks about Tinder hook-ups, women struggling with having the guy DTR, boyfriends calling their girlfriends inappropriate nicknames, or just generally being apathetic. And these things aren’t even shown in a negative light. I think everyone commenting here saying that they see empowering TikToks just have better algorithms than me LOL. Aft…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 11:36 PM
2

I think I’m just going to use only under eye concealer on a daily basis, and maybe some blush (although it’s really hard for blush to blend evenly without some sort of foundation under it). I didn’t realize it until I stopped wearing makeup for a few months, but so many of my lashes were taken out by mascara/removing mascara, my lashes are a lot fuller naturally now. I also like makeup for artistic expression, although like you my coloring makes it difficult for me to wear heavy eye makeup or pi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 07:43 PM
13

As someone who has not had a relationship that lasted longer than 3-4 months, with the last 1-2 months being like this hell that you described, THANK YOU. I need to have this tattooed on me or something so I stop excusing the bad behavior. Even just imagining putting up with this shit again for an extended amount of time makes me shiver.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 04:53 AM
2

What do you all think of makeup? I wore powder foundation, blush. under eye concealer, and mascara everyday throughout high school and college. Since graduating college, I dropped the powder foundation because my skin has been really clear, but often I go completely no-makeup (even prior to COVID). With my recent ex, I basically never wore makeup (he never really took me anywhere nice tbh so I never felt the need to). I recently wore makeup for the first time in 3 months, just the concealer, pow…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 03:42 AM
68

He really thinks he’s hot shit because he dated me and then was the one who dumped me. I feel stupid for letting his ego get so inflated. I was young with low self esteem when I was with him so I accepted his shitty behavior and looks (I should have dumped him tbh), but now I know better and know that I am way out of his league. He only asked me to buy those shoes for him because he thought he still had a hold of me and tried to take advantage of that. Boy was he wrong, so pathetic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 04:14 AM
105

My ex tried to get me to buy him a pair of expensive shoes a few months ago. I played dumb with him to see how far he would go and this man legit texts me the link and his shoe size. It made my blood boil.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 03:48 AM
13

I cannot stand people who are not mature enough to speak on the phone, so stupid. Of course in person dates are important but why does this guy sound so afraid of also speaking on the phone?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 03:45 AM
50

Exactly, unfortunately women aren’t always able to provide when bearing children. I saw my mom go through a very difficult pregnancy with my younger sibling, and while she didn’t have a job then, even if she did I don’t think she’d be able to work. If I ever became pregnant I fear that I would have to take a lot of time off during the pregnancy and of course after, so my husband will need to provide for us on his own until I am well and recovered again. Thinking about this was actually what fina…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 03:44 AM
6

THIS! I have also just had bad relationships myself, and I just feel based on precedent even if I am in a relationship again it will probably suck lol. I would rather be single if my next relationship is not going to work out 🤷‍♀️ It’s a negative perspective to have, but I am sure there will be a time in the future in which I feel ready to date again. Until then, I want to level up as much as possible and spend time on this sub to be able to quickly vet out LVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 07:11 AM
5

Exactly, I don’t think I will ever go for an older guy/someone who is “ahead” of me again. I have since only dated guys that were my age or slightly younger and it’s been a lot better. It’s nice to be confused with someone together when going through the same stage in life. I feel that I can actually challenge these guy’s opinions a lot better because I don’t think “oh I just haven’t achieved what he has achieved yet, so maybe he knows something I don’t.” I can see their imperfections quite easi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 06:58 AM
2

Caribbean med schools? Those medical schools are sketch anyway, are for-profit, and basically let anyone in as long as they are willing to pay. Also why would he be trying to date in your city because if he ended up in a relationship it would be long distance...very confusing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 04:14 AM
7

I am sorry this happened to you OP but thank you for both of these posts. These will allow me and other women on this sub to know additional warning signs to look out for. There are just so many LVM out there, it’s nauseating 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 03:58 AM
69

Did you see the comments from the original post? It gets them a lot of male attention, which is pickmeisha heaven. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 03:38 AM
15

Same thing happened with me, my ex was only one year older than me but we were in the same field. So he graduated first, applied to grad school first, etc. I took everything he said as gospel, he just seemed so smart and that he had things figured out. I actually thought the rules of dating didn’t apply to him - when he kept texting me after a break-up, I knew logically that an ex texting a woman he dumped was wrong, but I thought that if HE was doing it, he must have a good reason to do so. Unt…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 03:29 AM
5

Take things slow, give yourself time to vet. And I personally believe he should be a lot more into you/in love with you than you are with him to make it work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 08:50 PM
5

He’s not interested at all and I would just block, because I feel that if he contacts you again (about the kittens or otherwise) you may feel that there is a chance with him when there is not. Protect your heart and block!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 08:45 PM
3

Don’t go on apps if you feel like you are forcing yourself to. Getting over someone does not mean you have to find someone else, and finding someone else does not necessarily mean you are going to feel better. You have more than two options here, it’s not A) sulk over the guy you were talking to or B) find someone else, you can also just C) spend sometime away from dating and enjoy your own company. I will be honest and say that my most recent ex and I got together shortly after I had an argumen…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 04:50 AM
1

Damn this is awful. Where is the screenshot from?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 06:56 PM
8

I’m not always the best at blocking numbers, but any guy I’ve been involved with romantically and it did not work out is getting blocked from my social media instantly. It just sucks constantly thinking “what will he thinks of this” every time you post...nah, sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 09:22 PM
18

I’m not always the best at blocking numbers, but any guy I’ve been involved with romantically and it did not work out is getting blocked from my social media instantly. It just sucks constantly thinking “what will he thinks of this” every time you post...nah, sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 09:22 PM
3

Not exactly dating related, but I have been lately very self conscious about my appearance. My friend just sent me some pictures from a few months ago and I can barely look at myself because I look so bad....then there are some other pics from around the same time where I look really good. But I just look so different in the two sets of photos. I think my facial asymmetry is really bringing me down, I don’t know how other people have such effortlessly symmetrical faces when I have some sort of n…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 04:40 AM
3

It wouldn’t hurt to go on a date, I think that’s helpful after a break-up. I know for me personally though I started seeing a guy 2 weeks after my ex dumped me, I would literally ball my eyes out before going on dates with him and he even asked me once why my eyes were so red. 😂Needless to say, I couldn’t keep that going for long because I just felt like I was acting all the time (pretending to be happy) when I was with the new guy. However, it was nice to be taken out on a date and be reminded …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 04:31 AM
5

I don’t think it’s FDS. I haven’t had a crush on anyone since my first boyfriend and we met almost 3 years ago (prior to him though I had 3 crushes in my first two years of college). In hindsight I didn’t even like my second ex that much (unfortunately) but it was the closest feeling I had to having a crush again. I have guys I’ve talked to here and there, but I knew that I didn’t like them enough to be in a relationship with them. It’s definitely somewhat sad not to have those really intense cr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 05:06 PM
6

They look so happy I love it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 03:02 AM
9

You could have made an excuse to leave when he said “you can get the next one” before even going out to get beers. I know it’s hard and feels awkward, but this is not okay and extremely rude of him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 02:50 AM
64

This makes me so sad :( all of it is bad but especially the maple syrup in her hair, the dog poop in her shoes, and his hair in her smoothie. I hope she dumps him soon this is terrible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 02:37 AM
3

Basically if he talks about your race a lot is a good indicator. For example, I started talking to this guy and he texted me asking what my ethnicity was (my name is ambiguous) and I answered telling him. He responds “I love (my ethnicity) girls😍there were a lot where I went to school” I couldn’t go further with him lol after that comment. Also if there exes are all of the same race/ethnicity that’s a bad sign.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 02:32 AM
1

I never called myself a HVW If you read my comments. I don’t know who you are to say if I have real world experience with men? What do you exactly mean by that? The community is changed I don’t think it’s as helpful and constructive as it used to be. It used to be a helpful place but I think with the new growth or something it’s become toxic at times. Someone else made a post about this too and they had a lot of upvoted and comments, but it was removed. There is a significant portion of FDS memb…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 02:18 AM
3

I messaged the mods about this whole situation and look they changed my flair lol. FDS is going in a direction I don’t like.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 07:01 PM
5

I just messaged them and they downgraded my flair because of it. There’s no room for discussion on this sub anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 06:52 PM
0

I personally do not want to stoop anywhere near their level though. This sub is NOT a female version of incels, but now I see why people compare the two.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 06:23 PM
4

I wasn’t sure if you deleted the post or if it was removed by mods, I assumed the latter. I am glad that you see that this post was in bad taste. If you read the rules then great, hope this sub helps you as much as it helped me. 👍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 06:07 PM
5

/u/bonenecklace Looks like you have had a rough break-up, but don’t take it out on other FDS members like me. You haven’t been a member of this sub that long. Please read the handbook before you continue posting on here. This sub is not a place to put other women down. Even though there are some baseline rules we need to follow, there are going to be a variety of opinions on other things (and there should be, we want this sub to be diverse). It’s supposed to be a safe space for all different vie…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 05:59 PM
4

Exactly, thank you for addressing this so well!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 05:48 PM
6

Thank you, I am the woman from the comment she screenshotted lol. Even though there are some basic guidelines users of FDS have to follow, we are obviously not going to (and not supposed to) think the same about every single issue. The beauty of this sub was that we could express our opinions and have a constructive conversation about it without being put on blast. Also, if you look at that comment thread I had with OP I let her have the last comment and I stopped engaging. Even after that she d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 05:46 PM
4

I was the woman from the comment that OP screenshotted. I totally respect your opinion and thank you for respecting mine. I really don’t like the direction FDS is going in terms of attacking women if they have dissenting opinions. We are so diverse on this sub so disagreements are bound to happen and it doesn’t make one person right and the other wrong. But we should not be afraid to share our opinion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 05:42 PM
2

I never said I was “more HV” than anyone (I am the woman who made the comment that OP screenshotted). I just don’t think a HVW would be using derogatory terms to make a statement. I think it’s stooping low.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 05:38 PM
4

Not sure why you were downvoted, I agree this sub was a safe space just weeks ago and now has been ruined. 🤷‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 05:34 PM
6

So if I express my opinion I get called a man? What do you mean help out? I just expressed an opinion (politely) and you’re calling me a troll just because I disagree with you, and you want others to gang up on me as well. I have been on this sub a lot longer than you and it’s always been a welcoming place open for discussion even towards slightly dissenting opinions until recently when people have been becoming militant about any disagreement. And just so you know there are other users who agre…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 04:30 AM
3

I am not excusing bad male behavior. Like I said, there are other ways to nickname cruel immature men than to use vulgarity. Like I said “trash” gets the point across perfectly fine and it’s no where near as vulgar as scrotes. And I know my friends lol they are like me, they would not like a sub that has such a vulgar term like “scrote” in every other post. As I mentioned, I joined a few months ago when this term wasn’t used as much and found it to be more constructive back then. I really think …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 04:15 AM
12

Not directed to you personally OP at all. I just wanted to make a small change in the culture of this sub. Can we please stop using the term scrote? I mentioned this under another post, but it’s very crude and it makes our sub comparable to incels. I really want to show my IRL friends this sub, but when I think of this sub from an outsiders perspective the scrote thing is incredibly harsh and would probably turn me away. When I first joined this sub a few months ago I did not find this terminolo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 03:18 AM
8

Honestly I don’t think posting a pic with someone else’s dog is that big of a deal lol...I was briefly on OLD and posted a picture with some friendly dogs I was playing with at the park. It was a super candid photo my friend took of me so I thought it represented what I look like well. And I genuinely love dogs, but I am not a dog owner because I live in tiny apartment after tiny apartment (I grew up with dogs though). I do agree though that it is ridiculous for a man to pretend to like somethin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 11:48 PM
1

Ghosting someone just shows a lot of emotional immaturity. I was ghosted once and I honestly don’t understand why people do this. I don’t consider myself great at dating but when I was in a position where I was not interested or I liked the person but they were not fulfilling my emotional needs, I have always been able to discuss it/end it in person (if it was a relationship) or text (if we were just talking). Yes it’s uncomfortable for me to have that conversation, but I get through it by havin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 11:41 PM
11

THANK YOU I was afraid to speak up about this but I do think the term “scrote” is a major turn off regarding this sub. I have wanted to send my IRL friends a link to this sub but I think they’ll get scared or be like WTF because of all the “scrote” posts. Let’s keep it civilized people! I don’t think HVW would be using such a vulgar term imo.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 11:13 PM
6

Yes, it was actually refreshing to go on dates with guys who were in my year in a similar place in life as me. The dynamic felt so much more equal. I have only really talked to or have been in relationships with guys that have been in the same field or similar field as me, probably because my career has been one of my passions and I don't use OLD or talk to guys at bars/parties that often (lol) to meet people outside of my circle. I think in the future I am going to try to find a guy completely …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 05:11 PM
8

I'm sorry he ended being like this. It sounds like he is seeing or trying to see other women on the side. I am glad you ended things with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 04:55 PM
8

I think it's good to text for a few days, have a phone call, and then he should be asking you on a date pretty soon after. Otherwise, you are wasting time texting a guy you may not even meet in person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 04:47 PM
11

Does anyone else feel that we should move away from the term scrote? I just find it very unnecessarily vulgar. Can we not just stick to NVM/ZVM/LVM or any other less explicit term?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 04:43 PM
7

I made a (now deleted) post a while back about how one of my single male friends who I found HV began dating a woman out of nowhere that I found to be quite similar to me in a lot of ways (so I basically felt jealous that he pursued her and not me - I know it was definitely a pickmeisha post I was new). Anyway, a lot of people commented that I need to have an abundance mindset. And even being to new to this sub I was like ??? everyone on here acts like there is 0 HVM out there. It's just weird t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 02:21 PM
2

Yes that’s high libido. I only know because even though I haven’t had sex yet, I used to be like you and have a lot of sexual thoughts and urges daily. I wasn’t sure if it was high libido because I was able to have enough self-control not to have sex (it’s just something I wanted to wait for until I was a few months into my relationships - none of my relationships lasted that long). After my most recent break-up, I completely lost any sexual urges or thoughts. Even if I try to get myself turned …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 05:30 AM
59

Yes! I also want to point out that it is important to make sure you’re dating someone in the same life stage as you too. I dated a guy only 1 year older than me, which is not a big deal in age gap, and he was not trying to exploit me. However, he was a grade ahead of me, we both had plans for grad school and he was applying one year before me. Had we stayed together everything would have been on his terms, he would get into grad school first, then I would have to try the next year to get accepte…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 05:05 AM
50

Also ogre Fiona is beautiful if you ask me!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 01:45 AM
11

As a rising medical student, money is not going to get you into US MD/DO programs. Yes lack of money may keep capable individuals out, but having money does not let incapable individuals in. There is so much hard work that goes into being accepted from stellar grades in difficult classes, MCAT, volunteering, clinical experience, research, leadership, multiple recommendation letters, countless applications with good essays, luck, etc. Just because a wealthy person was accepted into medical school…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 04:55 PM
15

Yup! I have been broken up 2 days before my birthday and 2 days before Valentines. 🙃
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 04:34 PM
32

This guy seems like a good one. I hope his gf finds this sub and understands why wanting to be called a slut/whore is degrading, and why being degraded is not sexy. I believe women can be pornsick too unfortunately.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 04:30 PM
40

Oh no, I saw her on The Real and really liked her, but this is the WRONG attitude to have. Also why are women associated with cleanliness and men associated with being dirty? I’m not a filthy person, but my exes were always tidier than me lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 06:40 AM
51

I hope she leaves him😭it’s so heart-wrenching reading screenshots of Reddit posts because you want to help the woman but you have no way of reaching her. I hope and pray she leaves this monster and that she has a good support system to help her through this. It’s so terrible to shit on something that makes someone happy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 03:24 AM
1

I deleted my post before I even saw your reply because I wasn’t getting any responses and I thought it was because I looked kind of crazy LOL Yeah I do have a problem with blaming myself a lot. And thinking very negatively. Even when I accomplish something I’ve been working hard for, I still look at only the negatives of my situation. It’s a huge flaw of mine I will admit. I see what you are saying with accepting circumstances. I guess I saw it with jobs I had. I was working an internship for a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 12:19 AM
7

Just text him and ask him why he does this lmao he will hopefully feel stupid for doing it if he was following some PUA tactic
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 07:43 PM
6

I wonder if these posts will be in our children’s/grandchildren’s history books.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 03:34 AM
3

Yes you should never have to DTR! A HVM knows what he wants!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 03:00 AM
6

Oh yeah him bringing me around to his friends means nothing to me. I definitely been in the position where the guy would be super touchy with me in front of his male friends just to show off (I noticed he didn’t do it in front of his female friends) 🤮. I guess I’ve just never been introduced to the parents, or have the guy tell his parents about me, so I don’t have any experience with that. It’s good to know to be wary because even pussydiggers introduce their latest girlfriend to their moms. Da…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 09:16 PM
8

He is delusional oh my goodness. Hope things have gotten better now!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 06:23 PM
11

This is insane! I have been lucky enough that this has never happened to me, but I knew someone it happened to and she had to move a few states away because she was so scared of her ex. Crazy thing is, she broke up with him because he was cheating on her! Why would a man start harassing and stalking a woman like he wants her so badly when he was sleeping with other women! There is no logic with these LVM 🤦‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 06:17 PM
15

I think it’s totally reasonable to wait for an “I love you,” of course again they could just be saying it for sex, but hopefully since we have all spent considerable time on FDS we will be able to tell when someone is being genuine or not. Another requirement for me personally is for them to tell their parents about me and ideally that I meet their parents, both of my exes refused to tell their parents about me (and they both had great relationships with their parents) which was a major red flag…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 06:08 PM
56

Yes exactly! My most recent ex-boyfriend was the sweetest guy ever, he made me his gf super fast. I wasn’t ready to have sex with him right off the bat. After less than a month in the relationship his behavior becomes super inconsistent and it just got worse and worse, which made me want to have sex with him less and less. Then he said he would change when I told him I wanted to end things, he gets the energy to be the awesome guy he was when we first met for about 2 weeks, then we almost had se…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 04:25 PM
86

Nah sis, then he’ll just commit to you to have sex if he knows that’s how you will put out. I think he should just ask you to be his girlfriend on a date or something (not in the bedroom) and you should not be the one bringing it up, he should want to commit to you so badly that he is the one who initiates the conversation. PSA: Being called his girlfriend does not mean he’s not using you for sex. But I think your chances of avoiding being used are way better if you wait for HIM to bring up comm…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 04:04 PM
15

This sub is the best! If any of you have seen my comments you know I vent a lot about my exes, and thank you for allowing me to do that because it’s been so helpful and cathartic for me lol. Especially when you lovely ladies leave me comments saying it wasn’t right that I had to put up with that nonsense. Unfortunately when I talk to friends IRL, they might still be slight pickmeishas or simply do not have the dating experience to point me in the right direction when I vent to them. It’s really …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 10:01 PM
1

You should disclose that you lose your virginity to a prostitute if that’s the case. Disclose it before you have sex with her.
/r/askFDS30/05/20 09:13 PM
4

Of course there’s a big age gap too. Gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 09:03 PM
2

Exactly! Also she is not forced to be a part of this sub and follow its philosophy. Before finding this sub, I was having the worst luck in dating and my previous approach to relationships/dating just made me more unhappy than when I was single. I came to FDS, the ideology really resonated with me, and the HVM FDS describes is the only type of man I want. If I can’t have a HVM I prefer being single. Yes, I know I don’t have to be single if I become “less picky”, but I choose being single over be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 08:50 PM
2

This is horrible. You were visiting him and he would not even pick you up from the airport? This is a dealbreaker. An hour is not that long, I commute an hour to and from work at one of my job sites and sometimes I go there 4 times in one week, the commute flies by. This is unacceptable. I would be so excited to pick my SO from the airport even if it took me an hour or more to get there. No, it is not just your family, my family and I always pick-up people from the airport. I have relatives that…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 04:51 AM
11

If he does something that you feel uncomfortable sharing with your friends because it makes him look bad...it’s a red flag and you should probably walk away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 02:32 AM
32

I hate it when they call us gold diggers because we expect our meal to be paid for. Like bitch free dinner isn’t even worth your company 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 01:47 AM
24

I feel like some men take fuckboy as a compliment I was going to go out for some drinks with a few people and one of them was a friend of my ex. My ex and I were in contact after the break up (which was a mistake) and I texted him saying I was going to hang out with said person. He said that guy is nosy as fuck and he’ll probably ask about what happened with us, but not to worry because “I told him what a fuckboi I am lol.” I literally almost threw my phone at the wall ughhhhh I hate men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 01:46 AM
20

It was insane the amount of older men that were buying me drinks when I was out on my 21st birthday 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 06:21 PM
15

As long as it’s not overly sexualizing women and not gross then I don’t see a problem with it. I don’t ever watch Anime though so I don’t really know what’s in it.
/r/askFDS29/05/20 06:45 AM
4

I just mean being calm about things and not showing too much emotion. I will give you an example I guess, with my recent ex we were a few weeks into talking and we were really becoming close. He wanted to make plans to go to this event that was happening on the weekend, but I had already planned to go with my friends. I told him I was planning to go with my friends. He says "so you're picking them over me?" and was somewhat hurt. As much as I wanted to just drop my friends and go with him (which…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 06:19 AM
3

Yes, I recommend it to any woman especially women who have been in serial relationships. It is so important to know that you will be OK and THRIVING without any male validation, it will also give you more strength to walk away just in case a future relationship is not everything you want it to be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 06:03 AM
8

Yup, this meme is in reference to those shitty guys lol. And yes I am sorry your original comment got downvoted so much, but FDS is truly a great community to learn from and get advice from despite that. So if you ever have any rough patches again definitely reach out to this sub, it is a godsend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 05:59 AM
38

Yup, stayed up almost all night on the phone with someone and then had to clock in at work at 7:00 AM. For the first and only time at that job, I was almost late, I literally clocked in right on the dot. I was so exhausted that the shift went terribly, came home and family was over, and because I was so grouchy from the lack of sleep we all got into a huge fight. I don't even think I told my ex all the chaos that had happened that day. All because I wanted to stay on the phone with a LVM that wa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 05:51 AM
21

The point of this post is that talking into the late hours of the night is an almost universal thing in every relationship whether or not it works out. Many of us have spent countless nights on the phone with our exes and now where are they? Also, 14 months does not mean he will be around forever and talking late on the phone with a guy does not mean it will last forever. But I really hope your boyfriend is a HVM and if so I really hope things work out for you! That being said, I kinda disagree …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 05:44 AM
7

FDS is against FWB relationships because it is way riskier for the woman than the man, and the man gets to put little to no effort (does not have to take you out and pay for nice dates anymore) to have sex with you. I would say just reflect on what made it difficult for you to stay completely single without physical intimacy/male validation for those 5 months that caused you to choose a FWB relationship over being alone and using the 5 months to work on yourself/get to know yourself. I understan…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 09:42 PM
2

That is such a great point, the connection truly is built over time and that applies to both romantic relationships and friendships. I never thought about it that way! I guess I totally just forgot about the initial stages of getting to know someone and how you don’t feel super close to anyone right away lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 04:01 PM
2

Yeah I haven’t been dating at all since my recent relationship ended a few months ago, I also didn’t date a little over a year after my first ex. I am honestly not sure what I miss LOL I know initially after our break up I missed all the typical relationship type stuff (like cuddling) but now I don’t miss that at all. I think I just miss our connection more than anything, looking back i had stronger chemistry with my first ex than my second, so when people say “you’ll find that again with someon…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 03:15 PM
1

Oh yeah I definitely had plenty of friends and mentors help me too! I didn’t really ask/look for his help, he would always just ask me to send my app essays and he would just review them and give them back to me. I did send a lot of these to my friends and mentors too. He’s is obviously not my bf anymore but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a bf providing you support academically/applying to schools (as long as it’s not your only source of support), in fact it will probably have to be a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 03:09 PM
8

Your perspective is not being FDS, you are thinking about what will make him happy/like you, when you should think about your own happiness. Personally, if you are already doing foreplay-like things (like grabbing his dick) for a while, and he has not made things official still, that is a red flag. What is he waiting for? Whether you are having sex with him or doing nothing sexual at all, if he is a HVM he would want to commit to you (this is more than just calling you his girlfriend, remember s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 04:46 AM
8

Oh my god why would he even lie about something that minor...ugh at least this guy is dumb enough that you can see the 🚩 🚩 🚩right away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 05:09 AM
93

I was an introvert when I was younger before I began to force myself to be more outgoing in college. When I was in high school I maybe hung out with friends outside of school once every 2 weeks (school was just too much social interaction for me that it was draining). Though I have become a lot more social, and I am grateful that now I can pretty much find some friend to hang out with at a moment's notice, I am also really thankful that I did spend those years being an introvert lol. Quarantine …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 04:50 AM
49

I personally do not think so. I am someone who wears my heart on my sleeve as well, but what I do is just remain stoic towards someone new I am seeing. I do not mind expressing my feelings towards other things (like if I see a cute dog or something), but I am not going to be overdoing it with the "awww"s and "you're so cute" to the guy. And ideally, you should remain stoic when things are ending in the relationship too, you do not want to give LVM any sense of validation lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 04:35 AM
8

I don't think it matters that much tbh. But what I like to look for after dates is wait for the "did you get home safe" text lmao. Maybe you can wait for him to text you that, then let him know that you had a good time!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 04:30 AM
3

Awwww you sound like a great mom! 😊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 06:24 PM
1

Exactly!!! I made the mistake last year of meeting back up with my ex (platonically) and he took me on a nicer and longer “date” then we ever went on when we were together! He didn’t try anything physical (not that I would let him) we just went our separate ways afterwards it was so strange. He was probably practicing on me to get ready for the next woman he is going to pursue 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 06:22 PM
19

Since being on FDS, I have stopped cutting men slack for their bad behavior. When my friends come to me for advice, I tell them truth, that guy’s behavior is not acceptable and he’s acting that way because he’s just not that into you! If a guy really loves you and values you he would not act that way. I think as women we like to give men the benefit of the doubt, or we like to tell our female friends what they want to hear (“just talk to him I’m sure he’s just going through something and thats w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 04:42 PM
1

I think what happens is NVM read this profile, lack self awareness so they don’t think the men described in the profile applies to them. They see that she has accepted trash in the past so they swipe right thinking it will be low effort to get with her. Idk that’s just the logic I see them using. 🤷‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 02:21 AM
17

Me buying a piece of jewelry where all of the reviews are of women saying their husbands/boyfriends bought it for them for their birthday/anniversary. Oh well at least I can get something that is exactly my taste/what I want 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 02:17 AM
2

Sorry, should have specified, I meant more along the lines of marriage plans for us as a couple. I never want to be the one asking what our timeline for the relationship is going be. There are women out here begging for a ring and I never want to do that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 07:42 PM
2

I had a guy who would talk about marriage and kids with me down to the details (what schools they would go to, their names, etc). He would always initiate these convos. During the relationship we did not get a lot of alone time in our places due to our (temporary) living situations and while we made out in his car or outside somewhere after a date a few times I’m obviously not going to have sex with him in those areas even though he tried pretty persistently to. One time we actually got to be al…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 07:38 PM
12

It might be, but will a HVM swipe right? No. So this profile accomplishes nothing but attracting trash.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 07:03 PM
8

At this point I’m not even remotely interested in a guy unless he’s asked me out on a date, already showing interest first. Not sure if it’s a good or bad thing but one thing is for sure I will NEVER ask a man out, say “I love you” first, bring marriage/kids first, etc. Nope.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 07:00 PM
2

Congrats on getting into medical school! It’s insanely hard and I do not blame people who take multiple gap years. I thought I was not going to cut it this cycle and did not think I could have fixed my app before the next, so I would have to take at least 2 more gap years if I hadn’t gotten in this cycle. Which I believe would have made me graduate medical school 11 years after finishing HS. Luckily, I got in this cycle, but honestly the whole premed process requires a lot of financial support a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 03:35 AM
2

Right, but the thing is I consider myself already doing that. I do not actively look for a partner (or even long for one a lot of the time). I am someone who has mostly been single, so I am pretty used to it, had a solid network of friends that I would hang out with until this COVID-19 thing happened. I only start having the slightest desire for a partner when I am going on a dates with a guy and things are going well, and even then I am always on the fence about it and I never make it known to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 09:43 PM
23

I totally get the sentiment behind this post, and as someone in this field (starting med school this fall) I just want to clarify a few things. Even people successful who very successful in high school, can really struggle with premed in undergrad. A lot of people who were laser-focused on medicine entering college, end up having to take gap years for various reasons (poor undergrad grades, poor MCAT, not enough extracurriculars, etc.). And while a full-ride at JHU would have given this girl a l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 05:45 PM
4

Yeah it is just hard when you literally see the change from someone looking at you like you are the love of their life to them treating you like a burden they are trying to get rid of especially when you have not fundamentally changed (at least negatively) during the relationship. In fact, I feel that I become a better and better partner as the relationship progresses. I will never understand why guys do this, but somehow it keeps happening to me. :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 05:00 PM
7

A lot of people are like that, yes, and honestly it can be a shitty mindset to have. Maybe I am just touchy about it because I feel like my exes had that mentality about me. But yes I suppose some women are like that too. I have gone through my acquaintances Pinterest boards and many of them have boards of relationship goals (PSA: Pinterest boards are set to public as default, so make sure you make boards hidden that you want hidden lol). It just feels so impersonal to me, like it’s not unique t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 05:27 AM
15

Women really have a hard time accepting this. It sucks because our whole self worth is taught to be based on a man wanting you. So we dont wanna believe that we are unwanted. It hurts too much. You are so right...In my first relationship I was dumped unexpectedly. In my second relationship, I tried to break-up with the guy but he would manipulate me into staying with him, then eventually he dumped me. Both times, but especially the first, I would cry so much and just keep asking myself why no on…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 05:16 AM
14

Can someone explain to me why a man would stay in a relationship for 6+ years and (presumably) move in with a woman, and not propose? I mean he’s been with her soo long, why would he not want to marry her? I just do not understand why men make women into forever girlfriends, it’s such a common phenomenon that makes no sense to me 🤦‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 04:54 AM
1

I feel so bad for this woman. I wish there was some way to tell her that she does not have to settle for this crap. The guy is an asshole.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 04:47 AM
8

This post made me cry, it is so pure. I am so happy to hear that his wife is doing better now. I wish them the best!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 04:42 AM
4

I’m kind of in the “herpes isn’t a big deal camp, we might all have it” but the lack of disclosure is NUTS. He’s out there having one night stands and waits six MONTHS to tell her? Exactly, unfortunately, so many people have it and it is super easy to spread given the lack of a test when the person does not have sores. I do not want to stigmatize anyone who has herpes of course. But if a person knows they have it, they should disclose it to their partner before they have sex with them. Their par…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 08:19 PM
4

Sorry this happened to you, but thank you for disclosing this to your partners early on! Isn’t herpes viral, how do the antibiotics prevent transfer?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 04:02 PM
51

Soon? Sis he should be gone by now! I am so sorry that happened to you though for real. It’s so hard to trust any man unfortunately.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 06:16 AM
6

I met a lot of sweet guys when I used to volunteer for a local non-profit, unfortunately I was in a relationship (with a LVM) at the time. A lot of them were there to build their resumes before applying to professional school, but you could pretty easily gauge their character and how genuine they were by the way they treated the members of the community that we were helping.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 06:41 PM
17

Muslim men can be extremely problematic (coming from someone from the Muslim community) like men from any other group, but keep in mind this pic is a joke lol. No they do not really believe that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 06:33 PM
3

I wanted to comment a link to this post but saw the comments on her TikTok were disabled lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 02:34 AM
8

Hi everyone, I was wondering if there was a post on here explaining why an ex texting you long after the break-up is bad (especially if they dumped you) and why you should not respond. I have gone through this crap in the past and finally cut off communication, part of the reason I always responded (even 2 years after the break-up) was because I just wanted him to say he made a mistake/he's still in love with me/he wants to get back together. My friend is going through the same thing now with he…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 01:28 AM
25

This video is an extreme example but it definitely represents a common scenario, women going back to men after the men realized they could not do any “better” or are done hoeing around. I know a woman like this, she was dumped and 2 years later the guy asked to get back with her and she said yes. She is constantly posting their relationship on social media and has also gotten engaged so she keeps posting that as well. It does feel that she is trying to portray a perfect relationship when in real…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 08:19 AM
1

Yes unfortunately in my friend group/area I live in everyone gets hitched super young! Two of my friends got married straight out of college, and a lot of other people around me are in serious relationships. It gets very tiring being the 5th/7th wheel lol. But I am definitely learning to accept this now that I am on FDS. I do enjoy time with my single girl friends when I can, but even they can be super family oriented and aren’t always super available to do fun things with! I am starting school …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 09:45 PM
43

Yeah I never really understood his behavior. I know I will never be going back to him though, the break-up caused me a lot of pain for nearly a year honestly, probably worsened by his constant contact after the break-up. A lot of embarrassment too with my own friends, I would get these bouts of sadness about it and talk it through with them so long after the break-up. But nonetheless you're right when a relationship ends it is a done deal. If anyone is okay with putting you through the distress …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 04:16 AM
176

This is what happened with my ex. We were in a relationship, things were moving along well, etc. he randomly breaks up with me, saying he was worried that in 2 years time when we are going to grad school we might end up in different places even though we were both in the same area for at least the next 2 years. So he essentially undid the commitment. He kept saying if we end up nearby for grad school we should get back together. He kept staying heavily in touch, basically no difference in textin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 01:51 AM
1

I really want to start learning how to play the piano! I actually can read the most basic notes (like all the ones around middle C, excuse my lack of musical knowledge lol). I am staying with my family who do randomly have a digital piano and I would like to learn more. I was wondering how you are going about self-teaching yourself piano?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 08:21 PM
6

Honestly I find love such a mysterious thing. I do not think physical attractiveness has much to do with it. From my experience, there are a lot of gorgeous women out there and men only want to use them for sex. There are conventionally less attractive, overweight women with HVM that chased them. I will say that the difference between women who chronically get used for sex in dating and the women who have strong relationships with HVM is honestly their attitude and what behavior they are willing…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 06:31 PM
3

This is such a good suggestion I love it lol, will try it next time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 02:42 PM
17

Before COVID I started strength training for a few months at the gym which was something I had never done before. Now I have gotten back into running and I think I am going to add strength training back into my routine. I have been regularly listening to podcasts and audiobooks, as well as reading books, purposely on the most random subjects just to learn new things. I have been trying to cook consistently (I am living with my family right now so there are a lot of people in the household, and c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 03:07 PM
75

I mean it’s good to have realistic expectations too...Of course her ending the 7 year relationship was the right call, but it’s very unlikely that the next guy you’ll date will be a HVM or that you will even date anyone just 6 months after a breakup. That’s why, whatever you do, has to be for your own happiness. I dated my best friend and he broke up with me 3-4 months later. I was single for more than 1.5 years, heartbroken for most of it, but really worked on myself during that time. I then me…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 06:39 AM
3

It's hard because I feel that the man should bring this stuff up first (so you know they really want this and so they do not just agree to what you are saying to get in your good graces), but even when they bring it up first it does not always mean they are not lying. My ex did bring up that he wanted a serious relationship leading to marriage and wanted x number of kids within our first few dates. But it was a lie because we broke up after 3-4 months into our relationship because I was not read…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 03:22 AM
7

I felt really, really, really, bad about how I treated a stranger in a store when I was in a bad mood. He was kinda rude to me but I overreacted, and he was only being that way because of the situation we were in. Sorry I know this is super vague but I do not want to go into details, it was not that bad in hindsight I was just a little rude to him and I am not usually like that with people so I felt terrible! I went to my mom and started bawling about it (I am in my 20s lol) because I felt so ba…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 03:10 AM
5

Do not worry about real-life experiences, use this sub to build your intuition. Do not let it get to the point where you need to have a shitty relationship to understand what types of behaviors are red flags! You should know your worth right now and to not settle for any sketchy/shitty behavior. Finding a boyfriend is honestly useless and will cause more pain in the long run if he does not end up being the love of your life. Do not let yourself get into a relationship with someone who sometimes …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 02:59 AM
5

I'm sure his new girlfriend doesn't know anything about who he even is. That is why I am sooo hesistant with online dating. If you meet a guy "organically" in person chances are you have some connections and you can do some research on the guy to see what kind of person he is by asking around. If you are just going on a date with a rando from a dating app you can't do that! I actually did go on a few dates with a semi-rando guy I did not know that well (met him at work) and he had no social medi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 02:49 AM
3

If he is not abusive and you were in a relationship with him, I am going to disagree with other commenters about ghosting. If you liked him enough to be in a relationship with him, you should be able to give a little respect and just have a conversation to end things ideally in person but I guess over the phone is somewhat acceptable too. Just do not make the same mistake I made, the guy told me he would change when I was trying to break up with him so I took him back and then he ended up breaki…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 02:38 AM
8

Would you ever say that to him if he had a smudge of breakfast on his chin? No! That's not cool that he said that...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 02:22 AM
24

I have been in your place but honestly I just think about what a 🤡I look like compared to women who have “true love” with a HVM who loved them back just as much or even more and is not afraid to be committed to them. It makes me realize that crushing on said person is a waste of time and I just look pathetic pining over a man who does not want me. It’s definitely harsh but thinking like this snaps me out of it. And I have been hurt pretty badly before, being told “I love you”, him bringing up ma…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 03:58 PM
46

That makes sense. It is so easy to do as well. That’s it, the consensus is NO SNAPCHAT NUDES.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 04:33 AM
2

This is hilarious lol and a good lesson
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 04:23 AM
54

Whenever I see the don’t send nudes posts on here, I actually was curious what all of you thought about Snapchat. I know a lot of people who will send nudes back and forth through Snapchat that supposedly disappear in seconds, but how secure is that actually?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 03:50 AM
10

I totally understand. It’s incredibly hard to date when the example of marriage you have seen is a very unhealthy relationship dynamic. You end up accepting things that are incredibly toxic because the relationship is still overall better than what you grew up seeing. You think you do not deserve better because you are not even sure if there is anything better out there. That is why I am so grateful I have this sub, because it makes me really understand that I do not have to settle for less.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 04:38 PM
9

Thanks for your comment. I cannot believe how common this situation is. I have only ever told one person outside of my family what I have been through, so I never knew that this was so common. It makes me so sad. Especially because my mom went through a lot during her childhood too, so she never caught a break. I guess the only thing you and I can do to honor our mothers is to not end up in the same situation. Happy Mother’s Day to you and your mom as well ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 04:33 PM
13

Exactly, I learned such an unhealthy dynamic. I remember going to friend’s houses and I would actually feel relief if I saw their parents fighting because it normalized the situation I was in (which is so fucked up). I thought all men end up screaming at their wives and I would think my boyfriends were the best men in the world because they never yelled at me or really argued with me for that matter, not realizing that while it’s good they do not yell, that should be a given and they can still h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 04:25 PM
4

I am so glad you found my comment. You are so strong and I know this is incredibly painful right now but in the long run you are going to save yourself and your child a lot of additional pain. You deserve so much better, what he is doing is not normal. Happy Mother’s Day ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 04:19 PM
5

Right luckily this was just from a fictional book, but I do feel like this happens in reality too. It would just suck if you were married with kids and a man cheats on you. I feel like something like that can come out of left field even if he seems HVM. Just the amount of time wasted with someone like that is what makes me afraid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 05:06 AM
7

Ugh that’s disgusting I’m sorry you had to deal with that. I do not know why people get into committed relationships or are dating with a facade that they want a committed relationship while they are fucking/trying to fuck someone else. They should just stay single... especially this guy. He already had what he wanted with his ex gf why drag you, an innocent person, into his mess. Makes me mad
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 05:03 AM
214

I know this is extremely difficult for her to do, but in the long run this is the best thing she can do for her child and at the best age. My mom was (and is) in an emotionally abusive marriage with my dad who contributes absolutely nothing to household chores, and when asked to do literally the bare minimum he will just scream and says that he works so he should not have to help in the house. Even as a child, I would tell my mom she needs to leave this situation, she kept wanting to wait until …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 04:50 AM
19

Sex, the reason is always sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 11:02 PM
49

BLOCK!!! My ex has been contacting me on and off for two years and I thought that was an alarmingly long time, but holy shit but 25 years?! That’s next level. On a somewhat related note, I’m just worried I’ll get into a relationship with a man and I’ll always be unknowingly second to some woman from his past. I just read a (albeit fictional) novel where a man was married with kids, but then his first love from high school moved back in town so he left his wife for his ex-girlfriend. Why are ther…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 09:31 PM
13

I just wanted to say I feel so free now that I have 0 pressure or reason to date currently. I am moving far away for school towards the end of the summer, and of course there's a lockdown going on, so that means no dating! I just felt such a pressure my whole adult life to "find the one" and this is the first time where I am just so happy being single and not at all worried about trying to start a relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 04:44 AM
6

Desi men are the worst of the worst. Entitled little mommas boys who think they deserve pussy for the bare minimum. They date white girls for years but when it’s time for marriage they will marry the girl their mom picked for them. They are an embarrassment Late to the party, but this is so true the majority of the time (I only know of one exception where the guy told his family about the girl early on in the relationship). It is not only white girls, it is just any girl that is not from their s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 08:53 PM
6

I was literally in tears asking what is so wrong with me that causes all of my relationships to fail when I was recommended this sub. After like 30 mins of looking though the top posts, my tears were gone and I could hardly remember why I was upset over trash in the first place😂This community has helped me so much!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 04:44 AM
2

Right but read the comment I replied to, the women were in college, not in grad school. I agree that grad school doesn’t pay enough and minimum wage is too low. I went to a very cheap undergrad school with an amazing financial aid office. You could get federal aid pretty easily if you’re parents did not make a lot. All of my friends, including my friend who had suddenly lost all familial financial support in the middle of the year, received enough aid. They also paid for comprehensive meal plans…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 05:54 PM
11

They really don’t pay y’all enough in grad school and even afterwards. I tried out the whole research life in undergrad, and my grad student mentor was in lab 24/7. I would come in at the weirdest times like 10p at night or on weekends and he would still be there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/20 10:04 PM
36

To be fair, the woman in grad school did proudly post clips of her club dancing gig on her Instagram, and this comment was just a reply to her post. However, I do not think the that women should be fooled into thinking this is empowering.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/20 08:49 PM
8

I know it’s not ideal but how come they couldn’t take out more loans? I am going back to school this year 100% on loans and I’m thinking I’ll just take out more money throughout the year as needed, since you can in fact do that. Yes interest and debt isn’t cool at all but it’s better than dancing/stripping at a club.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/20 08:46 PM
5

Ah okay I understand now. I only briefly tried OLD and that was like 4 years ago so I don’t really know how it works lol. I think the “not gonna reply to hi” is rude, but I don’t think that it’s and if a guy asks you to use a certain word/phrase in your message back to him. It doesn’t mean you necessarily have to message first, he can message first and then you can have that word/phrase in your reply. I don’t think it’s too high effort on anyone’s part to actually read the person’s profile.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/20 06:41 PM
15

Wait why is that a bad thing if a guy also writes that on his profile?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/20 05:30 PM
1

Yeah in my case my exes were good gift givers, they would always get nice gifts for their moms and even their siblings. They just didn’t value me enough to do that for me. I don’t even need a gift per se, but just some sort of thoughtful gesture would have been nice. My best friend’s HVM bf surprised her on her birthday by traveling 3 hours from his school during finals week, and decorating my dorm room (he couldn’t get into hers because her roommate was a bit antisocial and would not answer him…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/20 05:02 PM
8

First, as another commenter said, stop identifying as low value. If you think low of yourself, you will accept men into your life that feel the same way towards you. Second, you have to drop dating for now, delete any apps, stop talking to any guys in a romantic context. Don't be talking to any exes. This is a good time to do so anyway due to the lockdown. The reason being is that it simply takes time and mental energy away from really working on yourself. Next, you should master basic good life…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/20 02:11 PM
4

Exactly lol, I was in a relationship for literally days when it was my ex's birthday and I got him a really sweet and thoughtful gift! I knew what one of his interests were, went to a hobbyist store for it, had a long conversation with some of the people working there, and got him something super meaningful and useful with help from the staff's recommendations. I also knew what snacks he liked so I threw some of those in there as well. It was not that hard to do, and at this point, we did not ev…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/20 10:30 PM
4

We ended this last bout of communication pretty badly, I think he likely blocked me because the last text he sent was "good luck with everything." I am glad it is done now because honestly it was a little ridiculous how much he would try to communicate with me post-break-up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/20 06:55 PM
7

It is weird because other very upsetting things have happened not related to him (like family issues) and he is always there to talk about it and help me out. He is fine when the convo isn't about him either, he has actually helped me a lot with my career like revising application essays, finding job opportunities for me, etc. post-break-up. Outsiders to the situation who know both me and him don't understand why we broke up, so you can imagine how confusing it is for me, someone who was actuall…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/20 06:51 PM
17

I have an ex who constantly plays with my feelings. He dumped me 2 years ago using a lame excuse of a reason. I was extremely heart broken for a long time, and to make things worse this guy would constantly be trying to get back in contact with me. Sometimes I would answer, sometimes I wouldn’t. Anyway when I did answer, he would text me 24/7 like we were in a relationship, talking about the most mundane things. Our conversations were never sexual, we even met in person a few times and again it …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/20 04:48 PM
2

Yes the ones I know are mechanical and computer engineers!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/20 08:11 PM
1

Ewwwwww!!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/20 08:07 PM
7

He has great taste! It is absolutely beautiful and looks great with her manicure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/20 07:47 PM
1

I actually had an opposite perspective than you. My friends are with HVMs, they each found their guys at age 18 (first bfs), before I even had my first date. Their relationships made me soo hopeful that I just thought any guy that would come around would be high value like their bfs. When I was 20, I was asked out on my first date and had my first relationship. I really thought it was going to turn out like my friend’s relationships. But it was not at all, the guy was a total jerk and was basica…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/20 04:04 AM
1

I was really missing some of my friends from high school and it turns out they were also feeling the same way and now we are planning a zoom hang out :) I suggest reach out if you miss them!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/20 01:32 AM
1

My most recent ex was like that and it ended up being a facade to get laid lol. He became a total jerk when I told him I needed more time before we slept together. I called him manipulative when we broke up and explained why, I got hit with the “sorry you feel that way.” Continuing vetting until you have been with this guy, and then after a substantial amount of time you can make that determination of whether or not he’s a HVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/20 12:13 PM
9

I would just send a very simple text like “This is not going to work, I am no longer interested.” And then block.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 05:46 PM
6

I am going to be honest and tell you I am am not really into celebrity culture, so I do not really know anything about the people you mentioned at all. I can speak from my own experience though. I have three friends with very HVM that they have been with for years. What all three women have in common, is that they are really loud lol and basically wear their personality on their sleeve to everyone. You can tell what their worst traits are and you do not have to know them for very long (and you c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 05:00 PM
4

I am sooo late to the party, but this was such a good point. I actually had not found this sub yet when I watched the show, but when LC was crying about how she never gets chosen by guys I totally empathized as someone who has only been dumped lol but I instantly knew why. She was too agreeable to everything Barnett was saying. He even said he thought they were too similar, but I feel like they were not, LC probably wanted to be picked by him so she kept molding her personality to fit his. I hav…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 02:02 AM
4

If you’re not seeing or talking to him that much anyway, this break-up will not be as much of an L as you think it will be. I was in a similar situation months ago, I tried to actually break-up with my ex (in person) and he basically talked me out of doing it saying he will change. I think he was able to talk me out of it because I was afraid of getting depressed after the break-up and did not want to be heart broken. He did not change, and then he broke up with me over the phone right before Va…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 03:34 AM
7

I don’t ever respond to an ex when I’m in a relationship or even just the talking phase with someone else lol. My first ex always tries to get in touch with me and sometimes I respond (because of boredom, but it’s the wrong thing to do) and a lot of the times I just ignore. However, when I am in a relationship with someone else, messages from my ex are COMPLETELY IGNORED and I tell my current that my ex is texting me. You should have no desire to respond to texts from your ex while you’re in a r…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 03:22 AM
14

My perspective on dating changed overnight when I found this sub and I am so grateful for that ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 08:30 PM
21

I do not have a problem with pre-marital sex, and I have never been religious. However, I can see why people may not want to have pre-marital sex. I know for me personally it takes me a while into the relationship to be comfortable with having sex. Both of my relationships ended after 3/4 months and I did not have sex yet in either one because I did not feel comfortable enough yet to do so, though there were a few close calls.Just based on my experiences and what I read online, it seems like it …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 03:34 AM
13

Yeah it's definitely not necessarily women who get over it while in the relationship, it's the person who is breaking up with the other. I think with my most recent ex we were both in the mindset of breaking up sadly, so I am guessing he also was over it by the time it actually ended. But with my first ex I had no idea it was coming and I was a wreck for a while, and he was basically fine a day later. But the advice I would give to any women is just try to get over it as soon as possible, get ri…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 10:50 PM
24

Women can also move on quickly (and should tbh). I had a break-up 2 months ago from a guy I was in a relationship with for 4 months (so yeah I know not that long but I have not had any relationships lasting longer that), who ghosted me right after breaking up with me over the phone, but I honestly could have jumped to a new relationship the next day. It was a huge struggle during the last half of the relationship. I kept trying to make it work, but he was constantly making me upset by his incons…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 08:55 PM
20

I would never move in with a SO if we are not married because I would not want to be a forever girlfriend. Refer to the this link from the FDS handbook to understand why you should not move in with a boyfriend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 11:46 PM
8

There are so many times when I went to share this subreddit to other women, mostly in real life and sometimes in other subreddits where women are asking advice about their LVM. But I usually do not share it with these ladies because I do not want them to be scared away with the (undeserved) negative press this subreddit gets, especially if they still have some of that “pick-me” mentality. Instead I try to advise them by using the principles I have learned in this subreddit, and most of the women…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 04:59 PM
13

I am in the field as well about to start med school, not looking forward to the guys I’m going to meet there now lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 04:52 PM
2

Please reach out to her. If I was about to marry a man like this I would want to know this information, and I am sure if you were in her shoes you would also want to know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 04:50 PM
1

I have dated throughout my bachelors with the intent of finding a future husband lol but they ended up being LVMs. Even in a bad break-up, school and work did not get jeopardized and I actually ended up performing better post break-up. I guess I am more concerned about the kind of guys I’ll meet in a graduate educational setting. They won’t have any financial independence and will be relying on loans or money from family to fund their tuition and living expenses. I wonder if there can still be H…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/20 08:59 PM
7

I was just thinking about my previous relationships and got sad a little bit...every year there is this really fun fair that comes into town. It’s the perfect date and whenever I was single and go I’d always imagine going with a guy lol. It makes me kinda sad because I was almost official with my first bf and just became official with my second bf while the fair was in town in separate years and neither guy would go with me even though I asked them. Actually my first bf went with his friends wit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/20 04:09 PM
2

I have a question lol, what if you’re 23 and are about to begin a long graduate program like pursuing a PhD or going to med school? Your education is technically unfinished and you are not working. Is that an okay time to start dating seriously then? I am going to be in that position eventually so I was just wondering what other people thought of that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/20 03:55 PM
1

Can some really be a HVM if they blindside you with a break-up after over a year of dating?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 02:32 PM
1

Name one man or woman who would even be appreciate the person help after that person cause the situation to happen? lol I am going to be honest and out myself lol. A few years ago, I dated a guy that would make me go out and binge drink with him (I hardly drank before I met him) and I had such an adverse reaction to the amount of alcohol I was drinking that no joke I would vomit 24 hours straight after the night out. He would take care of me and he even cleaned me up when I vomited on myself. I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/20 05:54 PM
3

Those comments actually kind of disturbed me, I expected them to have negative karma but they were some of the most upvoted comments in that thread. Makes me sad :( and those comments are not funny at all...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/20 05:40 PM
2

I am really happy that you found a man with HVM traits, but remember it might still be a little premature to call him HVM. I have dated guys who went above and beyond for me in the first 3-6 months or so, and then showed their true colors. I think there was actually a whole post about this on this sub recently. Just warning you not to completely let your guard down yet, but I genuinely hope for the best for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 12:46 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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