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hawthornevine Archive

View 7 posts and 57 comments by hawthornevine on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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5

How fascinating! Makes sense, though - just from my own experience, I've noticed that women mainly tend to use social media a way to either gain support (if they're dealing with a difficult situation) or to gain admiration (if something positive is happening in their life). Men seem to use social media more to rant about a topic or talk about their hobbies/interests.
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/15 11:09 PM
1

Oh haha, my bad! I didn't even notice! Sounds like you already know a lot about self-care :)
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/15 11:04 PM
2

Here are some older posts that talk about self-care (the mega thread is especially in depth and super helpful!) Evening Routines 1 Evening Routines 2 Self Care Megathread
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/15 01:00 AM
1

Thanks wingnut :)
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/15 12:28 AM
28

If you want to be a wife, then stop thinking about getting that commitment, and think much more about being someone worth committing to. Loved this line - so true! People tend to treat marriage as just another achievement to gain in life, and then stop working on their relationship after their wedding days. It's clear that your grandma and mom didn't do that and they sound like amazing women! Slightly off topic, but quick suggestion about formatting - I found the randomly bolded and capitalized …
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/15 09:00 PM
18

There's no reason why you can't be feminine and also lead a farm lifestyle! Being a RPW isn't about playing dress up and wearing makeup, it's about embracing your femininity and striving to be the best first mate you can be. If anything, a girl who knows her way around a farm, can cook, and is sweet and hard working would be nothing but an asset to a farmer.
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/15 02:38 AM
13

I have heard good things about the site Seven Cups of Tea, where you can have anonymous conversations with trained volunteers. I have never used the site myself, though, and I'm not sure what being "trained" entails, so I would definitely look into it a little bit before using it. I'm sorry to hear that things aren't going so well right now and I truly hope you can find some inner peace soon.
/r/RedPillWomen10/10/15 08:40 PM
11

Oh man, I definitely went through this a year or two ago. It felt like I was constantly thinking, "Am I doing something wrong? Is someone judging me?" I would hide myself in these hideous over-sized hoodies, always be slouching, mutter when I talked, the whole shebang. But at one point, I remember just being sick of it, and deciding that I needed to make a change. I found RPW around the same time and realized that I wanted to actually embrace my femininity. I'm studying in STEM and for some reas…
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/15 12:35 AM
1

Of course, I'm glad I could help in some way. You've been getting a lot of very honest advice, which can be difficult to hear at first, but I do hope that you're able to take away everyone's main message. None of us here are perfect, but the important thing is that we strive to find where our specific weaknesses are and work to improve them. I wish you luck with your relationship!
/r/RedPillWomen11/09/15 10:58 AM
4

There are many ladies on this sub of many different ethnicities. I'm not white myself. This sub is simply for women who value their relationships and agree with rp principles.
/r/RedPillWomen11/09/15 04:12 AM
13

It's clear that you don't respect your partner. I understand that he has his own difficulties that he's struggling with and that he's not the dominant, confident man you may have hoped for, but you chose to stay with him for 9 years, to have a child with him, and to get engaged to him. And he has spent close to a decade with you, helping you raise your child (who isn't even biologically his) and is now financially providing for you. He's not perfect, but you aren't either. You need to start deve…
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/15 11:15 PM
5

Your current situation sounds a bit similar to the time he spent living with his mother, with someone constantly being over his shoulder about when/how he spends money, which would explain the childish behavior. I'd suggest having another conversation with him, but changing your approach. Instead of lecturing him, explain that you're feeling overwhelmed about finances and that you're worried about debt building up. Show that you're vulnerable, that you need him, and ask him to take the reins. Th…
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/15 02:32 AM
1

Thank you so much for your detailed reply! It really helped to read a logical perspective on my situation - I know I'm definitely reading too much into some things when my friends and family are really just trying to help/offer advice, but it always helps to see that clearly without emotions clouding my judgement. I do take yoga classes, but I haven't been very good about meditating or doing breathing exercises on my own time. I'll definitely change that though! Thanks again :)
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/15 06:23 PM
1

I haven't really kept up with my journal for the past year, but from everyone's suggestions, it really seems to be time for me to start up again! I do have a problem with overloading myself and not taking the time to stop, breathe, and reflect so that should help a lot. Thanks for the suggestions :)
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/15 06:15 PM
2

Doing math in my head is such a good idea, thanks so much! I've tried counting before with not a lot of success (I think I don't really focus when I'm doing it), but I never thought to use simple arithmetic problems which would require me to actually think logically for a second. And the suggestion about keeping an open throat really applies to me, I think. I've noticed that I always get a lump in my throat/feel like I'm having trouble breathing before I start tearing up, so I'm sure this will h…
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/15 06:13 PM
1

Exactly! Well put:)
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/14 11:34 AM
3

I'm so excited there's someone else my age on here! :D I can completely relate with you on so many things - my parents want me to wait until I'm in college to group date and that does make me view things a bit differently. I have to give myself a bit of an extra push to act feminine just for myself, rather than to act feminine in the hopes of attracting a guy or to surprise a boyfriend or anything like that. It's a bit harder, but I think it's really rewarding to do things just for the sake of i…
/r/RedPillWomen24/10/14 02:28 AM
1

Haha, I'm so glad to hear there are other liberal RPW'ers! It does feel a bit mutually exclusive to me, sometimes, but you're right, it doesn't have to be so long as I remember to stay on topic and focus on the purpose of this sub :) Thanks!
/r/RedPillWomen19/10/14 09:18 PM
1

Oh I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to suggest that we (meaning western society) should go over and improve them! You're right, that is incredibly patronizing and honestly not in the least bit helpful. When I said something should be done, I meant more that private organizations should focus on funding the building of new schools/hospitals/etc. or create scholarships/education opportunities/cheap useful technology that can be used, but otherwise remain out of the situation. I know my dad is involved …
/r/RedPillWomen19/10/14 09:16 PM
2

Thanks so much for the detailed reply, phantom. I think I have a better view on a lot of things from your clarifications. You're absolutely right, I got so caught up in the feminist or RPW label that I guess I lost sight of the fact that being one or the other doesn't really relate to the actions you do, especially in terms of volunteerism, etc. To answer some of your questions, what I meant by equal relationships are relationships where one person isn't the captain or makes the final calls, but…
/r/RedPillWomen19/10/14 09:10 PM
2

You're so right, I worded things in a really wacky way. By equal relationships, I meant ones where no one partner has the final say/makes all the big decisions. Please correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought the major trait of C/FM relationships was that the first mate helps the captain and takes care of the little things, while the captain makes the final calls. Thanks for bringing my attention to a quirk in my thinking! I do tend to get a bit caught up in words sometimes, and miss the bigger pi…
/r/RedPillWomen19/10/14 09:02 PM
1

That's such a good point, and one that I guess I didn't really think about before. Based on what you mentioned, I think the best reform comes from within those countries themselves, rather than other people forcing change upon them (kind of like what Nobel Peace Prize winner Kailash Satyarthi did with child labor in India). Thanks for the perspective :)
/r/RedPillWomen19/10/14 08:58 PM
1

That makes sense to me, I think where I get confused is what it means to try to "be a man" especially since I've always been told that oh, there's no difference between what you can/should do and what a boy can/should do.
/r/RedPillWomen19/10/14 08:49 PM
1

True - complementing each other vs better/worse than each other. It seems like I keep forgetting this, but you're so right. Thanks for the clarification :)
/r/RedPillWomen19/10/14 08:44 PM
9

I saw it put best on another thread in this sub: Children's needs come before your spouse's, but their wants come after.
/r/RedPillWomen06/10/14 07:43 PM
7

Interesting question! Here's my take on it: yes, genuine selfless female camaraderie does exist but it is rare, especially in well-to-do societies. I say this because of all the female relationships I know, some level of jealousy invariably comes into play at some point, whether that's because of physical appearances, social status, etcetc. I do think it exists though. There are women who, especially when put into dire situations, cling onto a familiar face with a tenacity that's a bit surprisin…
/r/RedPillWomen06/10/14 03:15 AM
2

I'm not sure I can help much, but I really wanted to let you know that you're absolutely not a "fail." Things get rough sometimes, but the important thing is that you're working through it and actively finding solutions. That being said, hiring a cleaning lady would probably be a huge help, so you can focus on your husband and yourself when you get home rather than on cleaning the house. And seconding LeggyBlueEyes on asking your husband what's most important to him! Perfection shouldn't be what…
/r/RedPillWomen27/09/14 09:59 PM
3

This is especially true for men! If he's acting like he loves you and just not saying the words, I wouldn't overthink it too much. He could be a bit cautious after his previous marriage or he might just not think saying "I love you" is necessary if he's showing you that he does :)
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/14 02:59 AM
5

I can completely relate! Focusing on improving myself and becoming more pleasant really made me notice the snobbish, entitled attitude of some of the people around me. The nice thing is, even if they make passive aggressive comments about how "girly" I am now (as if that's a bad thing?), I know that I'm happier and in another ten years they'll be in a worse off position. Don't let your coworkers get you down! Trust me, that 35 year old is probably jealous of your stable and loving home life. I'm…
/r/RedPillWomen25/09/14 03:19 AM
2

I think that's her father's belief, not hers homo_homini_lupus. Hopefully OP is able to keep her father out of her relationship and show her family that she is firmly on her husband's side :)
/r/RedPillWomen25/09/14 01:59 AM
4

While it's wonderful that you're happy with your lifestyle, I don't really think it applies here. OP is sure of what she wants and it doesn't include a career. There's no need to tell her there are happy career women - society already shoves that in her face enough.
/r/RedPillWomen24/09/14 08:33 PM
1

Thanks so much for your kind words! <3
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/14 08:21 PM
2

Short but sweet - what a beautifully succinct way to phrase it! I think I'll view it like that from now on, it really gets the point across! Thank you! :)
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/14 08:20 PM
1

So, so true - we can only change ourselves so focus on that instead of worrying about what everyone else is doing! My mom likes to say that if you smell fire burning, check your own oven before seeing if your neighbor did something. :)
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/14 08:19 PM
2

Oh my goodness, thank you so much! :D
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/14 08:16 PM
3

Feminism won't solve anything. But education will. My grandmother did not finish the 3rd grade. She is illiterate. My father and uncle, however, went to college, got decent jobs, and managed to come to the US for a better life. Here, I am given opportunities my cousins back in our home country couldn't even dream of. Many people don't have the same luxury of getting an education, though, when their families are starving back home. So if it takes some high-profile celebrity flinging the word femi…
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/14 08:15 PM
3

So true - fix a problem right when you see it and avoid unnecessary drama. There's no need to be self-righteous about things!
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/14 03:05 AM
7

Oh my gosh, I completely agree! It's hard to find that balance between being a sympathetic friend and just flat out yelling at them to open their eyes to their own problems! And it makes things even worse when culture is, as you said, all about "me" since those people just keep getting validated for their self-absorbed behavior. And I'm thrilled that my posts had a positive effect! I started participating on this sub because of another user, so I'm very glad I could pay that forward :)
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/14 03:00 AM
2

Thank you! :)
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/14 02:55 AM
5

Aww, thank so much Camille! Really, everything's thanks to you since you got me hooked on RPW in the first place :D
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/14 01:56 AM
5

Thank you so much! I can't tell you how excited I am about everything that I'm learning and how eager I am to apply it in real life! :)
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/14 01:47 AM
2

Of course! A lot of the comments may sound harsh, but everyone's just trying to be as honest as possible to really send a message home. I'm glad you're able to look past the initial tone and focus on what's being said. Good luck with everything! :)
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/14 11:26 PM
1

I completely relate with wishing there were more ladies I could connect with outside the internet! It's hard sometimes having to keep my unpopular opinions to myself, and while I do love my friends, it gets exhausting always having to keep a part of me hidden from them. RPW is a nice outlet from all that :)
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/14 10:05 PM
25

I would focus on three things: consequences, future uncertainty, and present happiness. Consequences: the more men you leave to "find someone better," the worse you will look in everyone's eyes. You said so yourself that your SO is concerned about your past - imagine what would happen if you left him too and went for another guy. Do you think any decent man would want to get involved with someone so flighty? The more you do this, the more likely it is that you will end up alone in future years. …
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/14 09:52 PM
2

You bring up such a good point! I really think this is so important to keep in mind for all relationships in general. Nobody likes being around someone who is negative; the world is harsh enough that we all have our own problems, it's a good idea not to burden others with them when they might already be stressed. I've found this to be very applicable with my good friends. While they all would be more than happy to help me out during troubled times, constantly being a downer would wear them down.…
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/14 10:04 PM
1

Oh my goodness, thank you so much for your detailed reply! You brought up a lot of great points that I should take into mind - especially about people going for a 'beginner' project instead of something they're not interested in. I think that's what happened when I first learned some needlework in the past, so I'll be sure to avoid it now! I just looked up amigurumi; it's so cute! Just looking at the project brightened up my whole day! I think I have the opposite problem of what I started out wi…
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/14 09:59 PM
1

Congratulations!! That's such a great accomplishment, I'm glad you found something that worked so well for you! I've knit a few basic scarves in the past and I absolutely love wearing them - it's such a great feeling to know that you made something that's really useful. I think I might end up doing a combination of cross stitching, embroidery, and knitting so I'll be able to get some more experience with all three. Thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/14 01:49 AM
1

Thank you! Cross stitch definitely seems like a good place to begin and I love the flower patterns on maurer-stroh.com, so I think I'll start there! :)
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/14 11:47 PM
2

Oh gosh, I'd be honored! I hope others will find it useful :) I'll definitely be staying away from those subreddits; curiosity did kill the cat! Thanks for your advice!!
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/14 02:46 AM
3

To be honest, I'm rather fond of cats so hopefully I'll be able to have all three, haha :) All joking aside, I really shouldn't let people's comments affect me so much. You're completely right - they'll get what's coming sometime down the road and I needn't bother with it. Thanks so much!
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/14 01:36 AM
1

I wouldn't mind one bit! If anything, I'm extremely honored :) Thank you for your kind words!
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/14 01:34 AM
2

I love that saying! It's so true; people will be people and talk about whatever has caught their attention in that moment, but they will move on eventually. I really need to keep that in mind when I deal with certain users! The honesty is something very different from what I'm used to, and while I was initially a bit shocked, I'm starting to find it really refreshing! It's impossible to better myself if I don't get clear, frank feedback after all :)
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/14 01:33 AM
6

I feel incredibly lucky to have found a community that is so welcoming and receptive to new comers! Thank you so much :)
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/14 01:28 AM
2

Thank you! :)
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/14 01:27 AM
3

I absolutely adore the theme of "different strokes for different folks" that I've found around this sub; sometimes I've felt so pressured into pursuing a certain future, but this really reminded me that, at the end of the day, I'm my own person and I should be striving for my own type of happiness. Thank you so much for your encouraging words, they mean a lot to me!!
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/14 01:27 AM
4

That's so true - there's such an emphasis on "being a strong, independent young woman" but very little emphasis on femininity, which is why I was so excited by this sub! Your comment is making me blush like crazy! Thanks for everything :)
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/14 01:24 AM
6

You're so, so right. One of my biggest flaws is how sensitive I can get to certain comments (especially when I feel like I'm being ridiculed), but I guess I need to learn how to laugh more and be upset less! Definitely something I'll be adding to my (ever growing!) list of things to improve about myself. Gosh, I think this is what I love most about this sub so far: I'm finding so many new things I can work on! I'm a bit of a perfectionist, so I'm really eager to improve and be the best person I …
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/14 01:21 AM
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