Hello, I'm finally coming out from behind the corner as a lurker. To begin, I'm 17 and a senior in high school.

I grew up in the LDS (Mormon) Church, so my parents have a very conservative view on marriage and relationships. Although we no longer attend church, they still feel the need to implement some of the morals suggested by the church. For example, I wasn't allowed to date until 16, and even then it has to be double dating until I'm 18.

Because of this barrier that my parents kind of put up for boys, I sort of abandoned my post as a woman. I figured that since I couldn't pursue any guys, there was no use in pursuing myself. This caused me to gain a lot of weight at the start of high school. Guys never really looked at me twice unless it was to ask for homework answers, and I never really cared much. I treated guys the way they treated me, opening doors for them and basically becoming the man that my parents wouldn't let me date. That sounds weird, but I'm gonna go with it.

I lost the weight - long story short - and found RPW. I started reading up on the ideas and followed discussions. I realized that despite being more physically healthy, my approach and behavior towards men was unhealthily unattractive. I was treating them like the girl, and myself like the man, which affected my popularity in social situations. I've basically been shutting guys out when they're being polite because I didn't believe there was any use in letting myself be pursued, if I could not pursue them in return.

However, I feel like my old ways are going to cripple me for the future. If I don't learn how to be a respectful woman towards man, then how will I ever be respectful towards myself? There are different roles that men and women play, and I've sort of been playing the wrong ones. I don't want this to affect future my relationships.

So I love so much about this sub, and all that it contains. I've slowly been acknowledging my areas of improvement and realizing that I'm not perfect. Some things I need to do better on are allowing guys to start the conversation first, instead of me starting them all of the time. I also need to allow guys to do things for me, like letting me walk through a door first or picking up my pencil when I drop it. I enjoy the advice on relationships that is provided here, even though I have yet to be in any relationships, and I love the posts about self-improvement. I have so much to improve on, and without the RPW I don't believe I would have realized this.

Thanks for taking the time to read this, and hello!