TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

valleycupcake Archive

View 16 posts and 506 comments by valleycupcake on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
291

RED FLAG 🚨valleycupcake/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/21 06:14 AM
136

MALE DEPRAVITYvalleycupcake/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 10:18 PM
61

[FIELD REPORT]valleycupcake/r/RedPillWomen20/02/15 08:47 PM
52

valleycupcake/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/20 08:51 AM
47

valleycupcake/r/RedPillWomen25/07/14 12:31 AM
39

valleycupcake/r/RedPillWomen28/06/15 03:32 PM
23

valleycupcake/r/RedPillWomen20/01/15 10:58 PM
15

ADVICEvalleycupcake/r/RedPillWomen19/10/17 05:23 PM
13

ADVICEvalleycupcake/r/RedPillWomen06/03/18 06:34 AM
12

valleycupcake/r/RedPillWomen18/04/15 01:52 AM
12

valleycupcake/r/RedPillWomen13/10/15 09:28 PM
10

valleycupcake/r/RedPillWomen14/08/14 11:37 PM
9

valleycupcake/r/RedPillWomen25/05/15 09:15 PM
5

valleycupcake/r/RedPillWomen01/07/14 09:08 PM
1

THE AUDACITY OF SCROTESvalleycupcake/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 06:09 PM
1

DISCUSSIONvalleycupcake/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 04:25 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
38

Me too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/22 06:20 PM
338

My ex-husband would playfully tighten his hands around my neck during sex and I got a little rush out of it. Then nearly 5 years into our marriage he tried to strangle me for real over an argument about how to handle our crying baby. Never ignore it, ladies. If “pretend” violence against you turns him on, he probably would do the real thing at some point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/22 03:20 AM
18

Why do women put themselves through this? What is the prize waiting at the end of all this drama.
/r/RedPillWomen28/09/22 04:23 AM
20

That’s what addiction looks like.
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/22 08:28 PM
70

If you want a trad relationship why are you with an addict?
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/22 08:27 PM
343

To my ex, if you’re still stalking my Reddit you need to read this. This is why I would never date again before I’d date someone who watches porn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/22 03:59 PM
58

Where were you in 2013? Seriously this one is gold.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/22 03:01 AM
3

I had so much fun with my first husband traveling around and trying different restaurants. Lots of times we would decide together what each of us would get so we could each try two meals. He liked what he liked but was up for trying anything, even stuff I was squeamish about like escargot in France and haggis in Scotland. My second husband ate mostly chicken fingers and pizza. I figured it was a money thing and that he would eat what I cooked when he finished school and we settled down together.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/22 03:39 AM
12

I have to lol when old scrotes think they’re in their prime and we are so lonely without them. Meanwhile we are over here being badass in our 30s and not missing them at all. They really tell on themselves that they value women for looks and fertility, which is why this guy thinks 20 is her prime (all downhill from here sweetheart, get me while the getting is good!). Meanwhile they value men for business success and being at the top of his hierarchy, which is why they think 35-55 is more of thei…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/22 04:42 PM
106

I used to listen to Dr Laura Schlesinger on the radio and the thing that stuck out to me is that she said parents just should not date while their children were minors. Seemed extreme but now I get it. For every happy new family there are children who spend their whole childhood uncomfortable or worse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/22 03:31 AM
39

SO glad I never had daughters with my pornsick ex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/22 03:27 AM
12

Wow. My ex checks 20 of these boxes. And I have 15 more years to put up with him in my life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/22 07:10 AM
22

My 3 year old can help make his PBJ, gotta start them young.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/22 06:57 PM
15

The hard thing for me is that I can choose between making enough money or being in my kids’ lives. I’m choosing the latter but we are not able to move forward in a lot of ways. My kids are little and they get sick all the time, school has random days off, after school care is unpredictable, and of course that all falls onto my income while dad treats child support as optional. I almost want to say fine, take 50-50 time instead of paying support, and I’ll work 60 hour weeks, while you can figure …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/22 04:39 AM
145

290 last he checked which means he’s in denial that he’s now 350 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/22 07:01 PM
16

Doubtless taking the coveted spots from a working single mom who really needs it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/22 06:59 PM
18

After all the gaslighting I’ve been through, I would have a hard time trusting someone I couldn’t snoop on. The difference between me and a man is that I will work that shit out in therapy and not bring it into another relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/22 07:11 PM
75

Cannot second this secret emergency fund enough. I had to take 5k from our account when I saw the writing on the wall and I still get grief from ex about it. He controlled everything, and guess who didn’t send this former SAHM a cent for 4 months after he left? I was so glad I took that money when I did, but wished I had started saving the first time he was violent years earlier.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/22 09:59 PM
102

My first ex never ever ever lost an erection. Anytime he was naked around me, he was rock hard. We had other problems, but our sex life was stellar. I was pretty sheltered growing up and I wondered if I would ever even know what it looked like flaccid. In my last relationship, I more than found out. He was good with his fingers though, and I always wished I could ask him if he wasn’t going to get off anyway could he use his fingers instead, but of course I didn’t want to hurt his fee fees. I did…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/22 12:52 AM
89

I used to be so naive. Now I can see porn behind most men’s eyes and it just makes them repulsive. So few men are actually present anywhere they go.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/22 12:46 AM
47

Sounds familiar, except for the dick size lol I must be a pretty great actress.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 04:01 AM
83

My ex is jealous of my food stamps. He mocks me that I’m an “independent woman who don’t need no man because the government does it all for me.” I’m a well paid lawyer, but choosing to work part time because I am caring for three young kids as a single mom and they need me more than they need my money right now. I’m on food stamps because of him. Because while I was staying at home with the kids, he repeatedly chose to skip work and get high, resulting in job loss after job loss until I finally …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 03:50 AM
6

Me too. I’ve done so much work to break the cycle and be a peaceful parent. And I screw up all the time. Good for you recognizing what was going on and not allowing it to continue.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/22 04:27 PM
22

I had kids with mine. Just yesterday I went to go take my car back from my ex’s street and he punched the window right in front of my friend who was helping me. And then ex called police on me and tried to say I’m stealing it while calling me stupid and crazy. Sheriff was having none of it but stayed to make sure I was safe. It doesn’t get better. If I was going to ignore all the red flags, I wish I would’ve at least left at the first sign of contempt rather than go through years of pointless co…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/22 04:11 PM
27

Raise your hand if you learned a new skill from a friend during the lockdown ✋
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/22 04:59 AM
53

I was so fascinated learning about how the temperance movement in the US was a women’s rights issue that gained traction right alongside women’s suffrage. Basically since the industrial revolution and the easy availability of hard liquor, men had been pissing away their money and free time at the bar, leaving their wives tending their many children alone, exhausted, and without enough food and clothing. Women banded together over the course of several decades and convinced everyone that enough w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/22 04:55 AM
98

Men add zero value. They think you’re in it for the money and they don’t even bring that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 05:16 AM
29

Oh is that why my ex was obsessed with it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/22 07:11 AM
20

Scrotes who can’t afford food tryna date. “Love is all you need” is the biggest lie. It’s so refreshing going on a date to a fancy restaurant and knowing you can literally order whatever you want because he has his shit together and wouldn’t take you somewhere if he couldn’t afford it. Or I’ve actually been on dates where he ate beans and rice all week so he could take me somewhere nice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/21 06:13 PM
11

I’ve been married twice so I’m not eager to do it again unless it’s like the opportunity of a lifetime. I am focusing on female friendships and don’t go on a lot of dates. I would love to live with another single mom in a big house with all our kids and help each other out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/21 04:24 AM
225

I did this a year before husband and I split. It was so hard for me. I said it tearfully in our counseling. His response was “that’s all?” Nothing changed in terms of his hygiene, affection, or nutrition/exercise. When he started to touch me occasionally I would be honest that it felt good (I love touch from my loved ones) but he shouldn’t expect sex out of it. Being honest about it was one of a few things that made the beginning of the end for me. If he knew he was unattractive to me and did no…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/21 05:44 PM
64

Even “girls” is problematic. They don’t see us as equal adults when we also happen to be pretty.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/21 05:38 PM
26

It’s so weird, right? It’s like he takes whatever I say and turns it back around on me. It took me a while to see it for the manipulation tactic that it is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/21 05:36 PM
4

Right, got it. Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 04:36 AM
12

I’ve been here almost two years, I think. If I create an alt, is it OK to message the mods letting them know so I don’t have to start from scratch, or would that fall under Rule 0 and get me banned?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 04:23 AM
40

We need to go back to private.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/21 04:33 AM
34

So you are 21, have been with an older man you like but don’t respect since you were barely legal, and are feeling bad about yourself for wondering what else is out there when you run into someone handsome, inquisitive, and attentive, who shares your interests? You owe your bf honesty, and loyalty unless you break up. You don’t owe it to him to stay together. You are always vetting at least until engaged. Speaking as a woman many years your senior, I would say you owe it to yourself to see what …
/r/RedPillWomen21/10/21 03:42 AM
98

I am repulsed by passive men. They’re just completely de-sexed. I used to think they were good for hanging out at least, but then I realized that I make all the plans. Drive, passion, ambition, and energy, along with perseverance and integrity to see it through and not just be like a hyper child, is what makes a man sexy. Otherwise why bother?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/21 03:33 AM
3

With a ball and chain, obviously.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 06:22 PM
5

Before I even read this, I was wondering who cooks those eggs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 05:43 PM
45

I knew a family where they had a child with an incurable disease that made his skin as fragile as tissue paper. Caring for him was an exhausting 24/7 job until he died at age 2. I couldn’t understand how the dad could leave the mom to do that by herself when the boy was just an infant. He was even named after his dad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 05:38 PM
10

That’s why I dress like an old babushka sometimes. I feel pretty because I’m covered in beautiful silky floral prints, but it’s like I’m incognito to perverts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 04:01 PM
25

All the reasons why “50-50” never ends up fair.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 01:19 AM
12

Ugh. So many times with my ex I said no and he turned it into a yes. He never outright forced me, but got pouty or mean or just relentless and it was less hassle to just do it. Until we’re at it for a half hour and he still can’t finish because I’m not his hand and a porno. Hard not to feel deep shame for how little regard I gave myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 03:20 AM
13

I was diagnosed at 8 with ADHD (mostly inattentive type) but I always felt blamed for symptomatic behavior. I remember being medicated, but not a lot of extra support to learn organization, goal setting, self compassion, how to take breaks that help me get back on track, that sort of thing. My sister was the neurotypical A+ student, and I was always compared to her if I brought home a mix of As, Bs, and Cs. In high school I had had enough of my medication, which made me feel a way I didn’t like,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/21 05:57 PM
67

Sorry I’m kind of naive to that stuff because I married young and remarried a friend right after my divorce, now divorcing again and happily single, so I never really went out in the dating world. Didn’t mean to overstep, glad you’re making choices to honor yourself now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 08:45 PM
69

I used to like being choked. I later realized he really wanted to choke me and it got scary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 08:34 PM
57

Thanks for sharing. What was it that you modified?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 08:33 PM
31

Why is yelling at someone “treating her like a child”? Shows he would be a crappy father too if that’s how he thinks children should be treated.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 02:57 PM
3

I don’t comment here much but wanted to pitch in because I am Orthodox too. If you are looking for a traditional faith based relationship, his faith and morality should be at least as strong as yours. If it isn’t, you’ll find yourself either falling away yourself, or leading him to lead, which never goes well. And most importantly, pray and ask your confessor.
/r/RedPillWomen27/07/21 10:45 PM
7

For me, emotional and mental health were lacking growing up. When I married young, I didn’t even know it was what I needed. I got away from my upbringing but brought the same attitudes with me, unfortunately. Resources on self care, how to feel a feeling, soothe yourself when angry, and constructive conflict resolution would’ve been invaluable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 05:20 PM
8

When you’d like to get to know somebody but it would be inappropriate for him to approach you. How do you get there without chasing? Cute guy works at my doctor’s office. I was there for a long procedure and we got to talking. I had to hold his hand through the pain a few times and it felt good. We were laughing and having a good time. It would be very unprofessional for him to ask for my phone number in that setting, and he didn’t. I’m not really looking to date anyway but wanted to make a new …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 05:17 PM
89

Just recently watched the story of murderer Chris Watts, it was just like you said. He didn’t want to be with her anymore so he killed his whole family.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 07:31 PM
50

Daniel Radcliffe actually said that in an interview. https://youtu.be/cc1835-8QPI
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 06:22 PM
18

It’s not defamation if you’re telling the truth or giving your opinion. The problem is just the nuisance and expense of all the meritless lawsuits that would arise.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 02:55 AM
12

Lol I used to feel that way and yes I was in denial of my attraction to women. I also loved the show Big Love because they had these sisters to share life with and it seems like that’s so rare these days. And if the man really expects sex every single day just for showing up, better to share the burden.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 02:41 AM
23

“I’m a very depraved individual. Heh. Anyway…”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 02:53 PM
9

No one I have to force myself to be attracted to. Preach 🙌🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 04:47 PM
119

Must own sheets. And wash them with detergent. My ex didn’t own sheets. And he saved all his money for weed by washing his stuff in the washing machine with just water. My friend and I had to explain to him that he stunk all the time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 04:39 PM
-10

It’s sad to see this brilliant and articulate woman advancing the idea that motherhood ends our hopes and dreams. Seriously what kind of libfem bullshit is that? We should be able to achieve our dreams whether or not we decide to have kids, and society needs to realize it is better off when it supports women to be mothers and everything else we desire.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 10:18 PM
7

BUT sEx iS A BaSIC HuMaN NeEd
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 10:14 PM
14

I wish I had known this before I wasted 7 years of my life on a PA. He even told me he was an addict and I married him anyway, wanting to be supportive of his “effort”. 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 07:17 AM
7

I’m coming from that world and you’ve got it spot on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 04:11 AM
20

Eh. Gay men can be just as misogynistic because they have no “use” for us. Watch out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 06:40 AM
8

I vomited bile with each contraction in my 12 hour birth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 02:49 AM
42

Ikr? If I ever date again, I want him to be someone who just never watches that stuff, and if he sees it accidentally, thinks “ew, that’s private!” And shuts it off. Is it so radical to believe that sex should be an expression of love?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 10:57 PM
8

Child support doesn’t even compensate for the work of raising a child that the scrote skips out on. It’s only to take care of the child, not the mom.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 10:36 PM
39

I was recently hit on by a woman at a bar, and while I wasn’t interested, we had a nice conversation and parted with a smile. I’ve never had that happen with a man without that underlying feeling that he will keep trying to find ways to convince me to go out with him. This woman took no for an answer and we just might end up friends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 08:42 PM
11

Yes. Five years of marriage and that’s what I learned as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 04:52 PM
2

This book is good, but the author quotes and endorses Dave Grossman, the police educator who teaches LEOs to be afraid for their lives with every interaction and shoot first, ask questions later. I was so disappointed in de Becker when I got to that part in the appendix.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 04:02 AM
13

Tf is that?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 04:47 PM
21

And they don’t even get the protection or status of being a wife. They’re doing this for men they just met.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 04:46 PM
517

Daily Mail would take it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 04:52 PM
5

Ugh yes. Me too. The last time, I couldn’t stop crying. 100% not into it but went with it anyway because I knew he’d be angry and possibly not talk to me for days if I didn’t.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 09:54 PM
334

Can you imagine a man saying he’s empowered by being naked?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 08:22 PM
2

Well this isn’t going to be a popular opinion either but that’s why male rapists who penetrate women should have higher penalties than other forms of rape. When your crime might result in a whole human life, it’s on another whole level than assault or violating bodily autonomy. Now I’m sure it’s traumatic for a man to be raped too, but they will never face having to carry or terminate a life as a result of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 08:37 PM
1

I’m gonna have to disagree with you there. I think it’s easy to wish it wasn’t a life, but it is, and biology is unfair. We recognize in other areas biology’s unfairness. We are shorter, not as muscular (in general). It’s inconvenient but true. We need more support for mothers of every kind and at every stage so that pregnancy and birth and child rearing isn’t so hard on moms.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 07:24 PM
6

My ex did this and fed the kids cereal for dinner when warming up the healthy leftovers I made was too much work. Guess who’s eating cereal for dinner now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 11:03 PM
2

Thank you for this. I watched the interview with Oprah but didn’t know who Piers Morgan was or how it was related. Typical of unhealthy men to use inflammatory language to try to shame someone rather than provide reasons for disagreement. (“Two hour trash-a-thon of everything the Queen has worked for, while Prince Philip lies in hospital.”) That’s not an argument. It doesn’t even discredit anything that they said.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 10:15 PM
7

Seriously. Most men look halfway decent l, if not attractive, with a fresh haircut and business casual attire. They just don’t even try.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 09:47 PM
1

LinkedIn does the opposite of this. Contacts can endorse your skills. Look and see how many of his contacts have endorsed him for any soft skills.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 09:42 PM
2

I’ve got your back sister!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 07:28 PM
2

I can’t change the title after publishing, but marked it NSFW. Hopefully that helps.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 06:34 PM
1

Can you elaborate? I’m unfamiliar with the term pinkpill. (I’ve lurked on rpw and know what they are).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 05:34 AM
3

I had to look away when that shot slowly rolled down my screen. Like, I’m trying to listen to what she’s saying, why would I want to see her nude right then?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 05:24 AM
2

Sure I could do that, do you know how?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 02:26 AM
4

The Art of Seduction and 48 Laws of Power were his big favorites at the time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 06:42 PM
4

I’m glad my mistake could help someone else. One thing I wish I had known is that you don’t owe anyone a relationship because he likes you, or you’ve already been together, or he might be sad if you go. I want to love my fellow humans and see the best in everyone, and this sometimes leads me to put my heart in dangerous places. It’s OK to be kind and friendly to everyone and still be selective about who gets an intimate role in your life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 06:41 PM
30

Red flags I ignored while dating Porn use history of being abused (not his fault, but it affects his everyday life unless he’s done his self work) heritage from a country with backwards views on women reads red pill books OK with breaking the rules to benefit himself pressured me for more sex than I wanted filthy home, complained about landlord asking him to clean for new tenant showing marijuana dependence big talk, little action Guess what problems followed us through our relationship? “But he…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 11:16 PM
6

That was one of my thoughts as well. What was that boy thinking, letting her risk her life to be with him, and then running away without her when her father found out? It’s like nobody in this story thought of her as human.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 08:24 PM
3

Ah I see. Perhaps I was projecting my own situation there. Hubs was only sweet when he wanted some.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 11:44 PM
2

If he only hugs you when he wants a blowy, those hugs are going to get annoying real quick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 11:34 PM
10

Not necessarily. My ex has a domestic violence conviction, and moved out of state to his mother’s, and a female judge gave him shared legal custody anyway. And I live in a “liberal” state.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 11:27 PM
16

Cosmo says it’s OK if she consents and it’s not because of an imbalance of power.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 04:26 AM
14

I did a paid medical research project once where I was put under hypnosis with temperature sensors on one finger of each hand. The point was to measure the body response. In the hypnosis she told me my left hand was plunging repeatedly into an ice bucket. It was very uncomfortable, and in the end when I was done, they told me they had measured a seven degree difference!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 04:16 AM
16

Took me too long, but yeah.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 04:06 AM
31

So my ex husband got hand jobs at massage parlors. I was pregnant with twins when he confessed and said he would stop, so I eventually took him back because I didn’t think I could do it on my own. I literally wanted to murder him at first. He was staying with friends for a while and I had fantasies of seeing him driving his car while I was out, and running him off the road. It took me months to even want to speak to him. Anyway, it took me a while to even ask questions, and a few months after I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 03:44 AM
3

My ex is really sweet with the kids and interested in their lives. But I still did all the mom work that involves planning and foresight (buying clothes, updating toys for developmental needs, planning doctor visits, finding schools and enrichment programs, planning all meals and grocery lists and knowing where the food is and cooking it, finding parenting courses to elevate our skills) even when he had no job and was staying home with the kids.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 04:15 AM
8

I would totally go for something like that. That’s one thing I noticed about the sister wives on Big Love, how the moms shared parenting duties and the dad basically just worked and came home to be served dinner and sex. Wouldn’t it be great to only cook dinner every third night, and have time to cook from scratch because other moms are watching the kids?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 08:26 PM
22

As a bubbly, affectionate, completely innocent teenager, my mom tried to teach me this. She said if I’m going to hug my male friends, I should do a side hug. I thought she was crazy and overprotective. Nope. She knew.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 10:39 PM
15

Insensitive since OP had that taken away from her.
/r/RedPillWomen10/02/21 06:14 AM
11

Did I write this? Seriously. I will never again date a person who doesn’t take care of their teeth, body, car, bills, or house.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 09:33 PM
2

There’s a reason you’ve never heard of a stay-at-home girlfriend. Ring or it didn’t happen. Even then, relying on his income for too long without other income options can screw you over.
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/21 10:28 PM
13

Add a hat and coat and it could be me!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 09:53 PM
4

If you won’t give your number and won’t take his, how do you communicate with a man you are receptive to?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 07:55 AM
8

Yes, it really is that bad. I love my kids to the moon and back but I wish I didn’t have to see their dad who already took so many years from my life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 09:58 PM
2

Unfortunately not. It’s common.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 03:27 AM
81

I will never again date a porn user. If this means I never again date men, so be it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 03:18 AM
58

It all is. None of it says self control, and none of it is manly or attractive in any way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 03:18 AM
3

I could have written the same thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 06:03 AM
4

I agree. I spoke with the newly elected legislator for the area about the case and he said “well, you have to understand, these officers have families they want to get home to too.” That said, this happened in 2016 and got no attention until the BLM protests this summer. And there’s now momentum to remove police authority from county and form the town’s own police department. The neighboring town’s city police quietly hired a mental health crisis interventionist last year. So it’s a terrible cas…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 05:01 PM
2

Yeah sorry. Yikes that’s embarrassing, like a typical American I assumed everyone in this international community shared my experience. I’m glad it’s not like that everywhere.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 04:56 PM
44

If they’re actually suicidal, police often make it worse. In my town they killed a suicidal young man whose mother called for help. She even told them she thought he might try suicide by cop. They shot him in the back when he wouldn’t put down his knife.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 07:36 AM
10

Addicts tend to be really good at that. Even when they’re trying to be honest they still lie about how bad it is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 08:50 PM
10

If it’s a deal breaker for you, that’s OK. It’s valid if you decide you want to break up over this.
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/20 09:22 PM
82

I actually had a friend who died in a car fight with her fiancé. As far as we know, she was scared and wanted to get out, he wouldn’t slow down, so she unbuckled and jumped out anyway, and died on the road. We could only take his word for it. She was 21.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 09:05 PM
16

That’s hard to hear. I don’t think I’ve ever been close to a man who doesn’t slam doors. Well, no matter, I’m in nun mode anyway.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 09:01 PM
7

The funny thing is, in more patriarchal and gender-divided societies, women stuck together because we had to. We had solidarity in the distinctiveness of women’s lives. And now that we are leveling the playing field and competing with men in the public arena, we are forgetting that it’s other women who have historically had our backs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 05:26 AM
11

Interesting, thanks for sharing that insight!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 01:52 AM
91

Funny, I usually see it the other way. Women referred to as “someone’s daughter” as if they aren’t “someone” in their own right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 03:34 PM
16

When he gives up on life. When he’s useless at basics such as caring for his own hygiene and nutrition. When he keeps setting “goals” but they’re really just wishes because he doesn’t do what it takes to get there. When he can’t keep his temper in check over little things. When he spends the whole dinner talking about how bad the service is, no matter where you go. When he refuses to take responsibility for his life and waits for someone to swoop in and save him. When he’s hooked on anything to …
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/20 05:24 AM
6

Apparently you can only appreciate him for what he is when you give up your idea of what he should be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 05:28 PM
32

That explains why I could never get through The Respect Dare. The first chapter is writing down all your expectations of your husband, and then committing to giving them up as you work through the rest. Couldn’t do it. Things like work for a living, be at least polite when speaking to me, brush your teeth twice a day, don’t throw things at me, use soap when you shower, pick up your own messes, don’t waste your life away getting high...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 03:46 AM
-4

Honest question, is everyone in this sub really a /r/latebloomerlesbians? Like if men are so ugly what’s the point?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 04:41 AM
7

🤚 Yes. And when he can’t keep a job and is asked to find a new one, he feels “objectified.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 08:28 PM
5

I would recommend going on lots of dates. Use the pandemic time to become what you want to become, and have your debut after restrictions are lifted. Since you’ve never dated, you really don’t know what you’re capable of getting. Be safe, drive yourself, start how you mean to keep going, don’t settle for less than dinner in a public place, and don’t feel obligated to kiss or hug at the end unless you want to. If I could advise my past self, I would have to go on dates with at least 10 men before…
/r/RedPillWomen26/08/20 03:20 AM
7

You sound like a total catch. He sounds like he is unworthy of being a captain. Huge hugs (if you consent) to you my long suffering sister! I think just by writing all this out, you know what you need to do. The Bible gives you your freedom here. Go. Practically speaking, can you ask him to stay elsewhere for 2 weeks so you have time to think, and meet with a family law attorney to explore your options?
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/20 08:35 PM
3

You may have to buy out any contributions he made to the house, but won’t it be worth it?
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/20 08:30 PM
22

I didn’t either and he left anyway. When it comes down to it, you can figure it out if you have to. But it’s better to figure it out before you have to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 04:12 PM
1

I did! Even though objectively he had an average physique, I was very sexually attracted. He’s gained 70 pounds since then :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 01:27 PM
1

I could have written this. I don’t know what to tell you. I’m recently separated from my second husband and if this goes through, I don’t think I really need to date seriously ever again. I never did really date. I just went from relationship to relationship. I’ve been so dependent on men for my whole life and it has not served me well. The prospect of taking care of myself and my kids and making all my own decisions is a little scary tbh. I was hanging out at the beach for a little weekend away…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 07:21 PM
3

Of course. A woman’s not a person until it’s his sister.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 08:47 PM
19

Has no close friends history of being abused, it’s not his fault but at the same time that shit messes you up for life unless you proactively work through it “everyone always leaves me” making you want to prove you’re better by sticking around messy home does not improve when you move in together unless you’re willing to do all the work. Even when you pick up everything you’ll just come back to find it messed up again. lacking basics like sheets and towels, it means he doesn’t think those things…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 07:48 PM
3

Someone who is so anxious that he can’t pick up the phone and ask how you’re doing is not someone worthy of being a potential captain. Captains know what they want and pursue it.
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/20 09:57 PM
3

My husband never finished his degree, but ended up in a sales job that paid well while I was looking for work. He didn’t love it but it was livable. My job search stalled, and he was making $85k on six hours a day, so I stayed at home and we made babies. But since he lost that job, he’s cycled through 10-15 jobs that he had a hard time at for one reason or another. Finally, I told him this is your last job. If you lose this one, I am going back to work and you can choose to work or be at home wi…
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/20 12:04 AM
157

Tell me about it. Husband feels “oppressed” and I must have an anger problem when he wanted to leave because he needs to stay home with the kids during my 4 work hours per day and can’t go get high. Even though I only work because he couldn’t hold down a job. Because he kept going off and getting high. Don’t marry men who use their childhood as an excuse, and don’t marry anyone who hasn’t had a stable job or business for at least a few years! I’ll get myself out of this mess but it’s so much eas…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 03:41 PM
30

Porn erodes men’s empathy and chivalry towards women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/20 02:11 PM
6

Men do change, but him changing in the way you desire and in a timeframe that works for you is improbable. Take a good look at who he is right now today, don’t include potential, because that is who he is probably going to be more or less for life. He may get a better job, new hobby, or become slightly more responsible, but don’t count on any major changes. And any changes that are recent might revert back to the way they were before (take that from someone who married a guy after significant we…
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/20 05:01 AM
4

I hate that One Direction song. As if a woman who knows her worth suddenly isn’t cute anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 11:17 PM
4

I’m just realizing through reading this sub that that’s the only kind of love I know how to have. I had never heard of the name before. But it’s what my parents and grandparents had so it’s all I know. But yeah to me if you’re not fighting you just don’t care. No wonder I am where I am. The first step is identifying beliefs that don’t serve me and consciously replacing them with beliefs that are better for me. So what belief can replace “if you’re not fighting, you don’t care about the relations…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 06:34 PM
12

This. I love the discipline and sense of duty ingrained in so many military men, but I would never date one because I will never be number one to him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 05:55 PM
7

Bless you for this effort. This woman will greatly benefit from taking your advice.
/r/RedPillWomen23/02/20 03:53 AM
18

Interesting, I didn’t know that was an issue. I always appreciate when friends and associates are direct because I know where I stand with them, but I find it difficult to do the same because I was so heavily conditioned “that’s not becoming of a young lady”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 10:58 PM
12

This is the LVM judging the contestants as 4/10, like they do in /r/TrueRateMe
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 07:18 PM
1

If she doesn’t like it for whatever reason, she is free to break up with him. Of course she shouldn’t stay just to nag him about it. But it would be an absolute deal breaker for me and many other high quality women.
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/20 03:18 AM
4

Seeing if she’s down for a threesome.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 12:29 AM
5

There’s a big difference between midgets and a dude who’s 5’7”. Maybe I’m biased, I’m about to separate from a guy who is a 6’4” asshole. A kind and decent midget would make my life a lot better than it is now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 06:23 AM
1

Is physical appearance really the foundation? The aspects that can’t be changed, specifically? Of course hygiene is non negotiable, and above average intellect, but is height more important than kindness? Is shoulder width more important than generosity?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 07:06 AM
47

I would love a FDS offshoot sub about raising respectful HV sons.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 01:43 AM
14

Sure, respected like a trusted butler or a hardworking maid. /s just in case that’s not obvious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/20 05:42 PM
226

Comparisons like this make me wonder if I’m gay. Why is it that like 70% of women are at least somewhat attractive but only like 10% of men?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/20 11:15 PM
4

I used NFP (FAM really), but got lazy with temping and just assumed O day was CD14. I’m sitting here right now nursing my little CD17 blessing. So now we are very careful. We use withdrawal during the infertile days and abstain completely during the fertile days. There are basically 2 weeks out of 4 that are on the table and it does change the dynamic. We didn’t do it much before, but it’s even less now. The hardest part is that the off limits time is the only time I really have desire. So it’s …
/r/RedPillWomen21/01/20 10:11 PM
3

OK love I hear you. You miss him! That’s gotta be so tough! So what can you do? You have to practice self care. For one thing, imho, you should have a special date with each of your teens once a week. Right now, thankfully, many things are taken care of for you. Your kids are teens and you don’t have to work. But you do need friends and activities to make your time seem worthwhile. Now is the perfect time to volunteer or get into a hobby! What do you like to do? Or if it’s hard to picture that, …
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/20 06:54 PM
4

You want to film your life for others but feel distant from the ones you love the most. How you feel is not how you think you should feel. Reach out to them with an effort to reconnect and you will start to feel more like your authentic self.
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/20 04:08 PM
4

No More Mr. Nice Guy, Way of the Superior Man, 12 Rules for Life
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/20 03:44 AM
5

You sound awesome. Fertility wise, yeah you need to get intentional and next anybody who isn’t LTR material. But I don’t think you’re screwed. You just need to remember that, like you, guys in their 30s have lived a little. So vet carefully and keep a list of dealbreakers in mind.
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/20 04:47 AM
3

Why thank you! Now I have even more of a reason to reddit all day!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 06:59 PM
61

Two things to consider: With a new baby, you won’t have much time to date. Maybe in a few years. Stepfathers/boyfriends of mom are statistically many times over more likely to perpetrate child abuse than biological fathers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 08:31 AM
2

Homemade pesto sauce tastes amazing and is easy to make with a food processor or blender. Homemade balsamic vinaigrette can just be made and shaken up in an old jar. You can learn to bake chicken in 10 days easily. Get cuts with no bones, coat them in a little olive oil, white wine, salt, pepper. Bake in a 325 degree oven for 30 minutes or until meat thermometer in the middle of the thickest part says 165. Make pasta (rotini) and toss the salad and bam, you have an elegant dinner. I only know ho…
/r/RedPillWomen28/12/19 03:41 PM
6

Hi, I stay at home with three under three and it’s definitely harder than my job as a lawyer or senate staffer ever was. Until you’ve done both, you don’t know. Laying in your back is the easy part, but obviously everything gets harder from there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 03:07 PM
13

I’m pretty sure it’s more like since women were expected to work outside the home again. Before industrialization, a man would work as whatever, a farmer or merchant or banker, and still contribute to things around the house like maintenance, outdoor work, and he like. Women would raise the children but would often either make things to sell or help the man with his profession. Everyone worked most of every day, children included. After industrialization, automation slowly began to increase the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 05:04 PM
24

You know, because so many wars are started and perpetuated by women. /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 04:21 AM
10

🖐 happened to me! This explains it pretty well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/19 12:58 AM
-10

How RPW are LDRs anyway? Unless he’s deployed or something else temporary I don’t see the point.
/r/RedPillWomen19/12/19 03:40 AM
3

If my husband texted me that it would make me smile. A stranger? Ewww. Why would you want to encourage that possibility before even meeting him? Literally what would be in it for you unless you first know you’re into him?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/19 10:33 PM
9

So when you were in the MFF triad, were you also dating the other woman, or were you both only dating the man?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/19 05:07 AM
5

If there’s something that’s making him less attractive to you (weight, negative attitude, clinginess, hygiene issues), I can almost guarantee he’d rather you tell him straightforwardly and gently rather than try to force yourself to have sex when you feel no arousal. Sometimes it’s easier to get with a dad bod after you’ve had a few drinks, and now that you’re seeing him in a sober way it feels different and your thinking is kind of switched back on. Is there something specific about his looks o…
/r/RedPillWomen07/12/19 10:24 PM
25

It’s not racist to say Islamic culture is particularly rapey.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/19 03:26 PM
6

Clothes are necessary. Porn isn’t. If he only watches amateur, it’s at least more ethical. But I’d still avoid him and move on.
/r/RedPillWomen07/12/19 02:40 PM
34

Low value. I wish I had known this when I was younger. Habitual porn watching absolutely changes brain chemistry and changes his approach to sex. I assume everyone’s been exposed to it, but I wouldn’t date a man who watches porn. Besides, ethics are sexy and I value people who are conscious of what industries they elect to support with their consumption patterns. I think men who habitually watch porn have become desensitized to the trafficking and soft coercion rampant in the industry, and to me…
/r/RedPillWomen06/12/19 09:52 PM
2

Please, take my advice. Actions speak louder than words! It means nothing that he says those things will happen except maybe that he hopes for it. Look at what he actively does to make it happen.
/r/RedPillWomen05/12/19 05:22 AM
40

I just wish I’d seen this five years ago, before we had kids. I just want to shout to all the ladies, pay attention! This is important! Don’t be too eager to excuse red flags!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/19 10:27 PM
5

So true. And don’t think you’re going to teach him to understand the importance of it, either. You’ll fail. Move on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/19 12:18 AM
4

My husband’s permission is not what keeps me faithful. It’s my own integrity. Cheating pass or not, it wouldn’t be right and I wouldn’t want to.
/r/MensRights19/11/19 10:05 PM
2

That just seems too individualistic to me. Children are a blessing, even though they are very hard work. And children and financial struggle both develop character much better than the DINK lifestyle. As long as food, clothing, shelter, sleep, and education can be provided, along with love, then it’s not irresponsible to have children IMO.
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/19 03:42 AM
2

And if you do right by your kids you will be much more likely to be cared for in your old age. Of course it’s your responsibility to save up and plan for the future, but you’ll have someone to visit you, keep you company, advocate for you, help you find the best care, set up your gadgets, and manage your affairs when you’re unable.
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/19 03:36 AM
4

Same with Thinx period underwear—their slogan is “for people with periods.” Like, you mean, women? Also when I was pregnant, the number of warnings directed at “pregnant people” or the “birthing parent” instead of “mother”. I’ve also noticed L’Oreal makeup ads with men in them. They’re not a P&G company but they own several beauty brands. I believe in the Christian God so I’ve never been into the whole goddess image of women, but at least that kind of hippie stuff values the unique contributions…
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/19 10:34 PM
-6

Being a SAHM is harder than I’ve ever worked. I have 3 under 3. I wake up at 6:30 with the baby, put the oldest down at 8:30, and maybe have an hour to myself in between. I’m supposed to cook them nutritious food, monitor their development, keep the home tidy and well appointed, stay stocked up on all our necessities, initiate and schedule all doctor visits, keep enough clean laundry, manage our social visits since there’s not much of a community around SAHMs anymore. All of that is just extra, …
/r/RedPillWomen24/10/19 06:00 PM
7

My mother was a doormat for my father while I was growing up, and I swore I’d never be like that, swinging the pendulum too far in the other direction and losing my first marriage. I’m still trying to find that balance in my second marriage and don’t intend to have a third. I liked the thought that a doormat can’t be a helper to anyone. I wish there was more guidance in this sub and in general for finding happiness when the man you married is maybe not the best leader or the most compatible but …
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/19 10:28 PM
1

I definitely need those reminders. “That’s what I thought I heard, but you might be right.”
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/19 10:19 PM
1

I think the technology to allow a fetus to survive ex utero will improve to the point that abortion is never necessary to avoid an unwanted pregnancy, and women will really only have them if they just don’t want that child to exist. Conscience protections for doctors will be upheld and expanded because there will be no argument of preserving the life and health of the woman when the fetus can be saved regardless. Only true anti-life zealots will even want or perform abortions.
/r/MensRights13/10/19 05:23 AM
1

What about reconnecting sex with reproduction? We’ve had enough generations of birth control working pretty well that we’ve forgotten that the main function of sex is to reproduce. That’s not a moral statement but a biological one. And we have men, women, and children, in different ways, suffering the consequences of that paradigm shift. Both parties are responsible for the child they participated in creating. Even if they were careful and “safe”, there’s always a risk and everyone assumes that …
/r/MensRights12/10/19 12:00 AM
1

I see lots of judging words but no actual argument. I guess that’s how it works these days, attack the argument as “ugly” and “gross” so you never actually have to think through it and come up with a counter argument.
/r/MensRights11/10/19 11:16 PM
1

The argument either stands on its own or it doesn’t. You can’t discredit a logical argument because it might lead to conclusions you don’t like.
/r/MensRights11/10/19 10:38 PM
1

Consent for sex =\= consent for parenthood. Why? That’s like saying consent to eating doesn’t equal consent to absorbing calories. That’s literally the biological purpose of sex.
/r/MensRights11/10/19 10:29 PM
1

Giving this option to men would result in more women aborting their pregnancies.
/r/MensRights11/10/19 10:25 PM
1

But that presupposes that abortion is morally neutral. And the majority of women do not believe that. So to those women, for whom abortion is not an option, all she can do is live in poverty or give up her child. It effectively puts more burden on these women who are just trying to do the right thing out of a bad situation.
/r/MensRights11/10/19 10:23 PM
0

The choice is don’t have sex with someone you’re against having a child with. Or have the kind of sex that doesn’t make babies.
/r/MensRights11/10/19 10:16 PM
1

Late to the party but I’m EO too (chrismated this year) and my experience has been quite similar. My husband and I converted together and I feel that it is one of the last pockets of culture that promotes the kind of values and traditions we want to live and raise our kids in. It doesn’t assume that human nature and biological differences changed just because we now have industry and computers.
/r/RedPillWomen05/10/19 09:12 PM
2

It’s OK to want to be a homeschooling SAHM. That’s not a waste of your education, intellect, or ability to contribute to society. It’s an investment in your family and the next generation. So put that law degree on hold, don’t take out any more debt, be honest with yourself (and husband, in my case) about what you really want, and don’t do anything that’s going to interfere with that. You can go back to school anytime in life, but once you lose your youth and fertility, there’s no going back, an…
/r/RedPillWomen05/10/19 09:07 PM
5

“Whatever you think, dear.”
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/19 06:54 AM
7

100% this is hamstering. This would be the mistake of a lifetime to throw away what you have. You don’t have control over what pops into your head, but you can choose what you dwell on. So when a fantasy pops up, either throw it away and go do some jumping jacks, or sublimate it to something that you can involve your husband in. Being “in love” is a great feeling, but biochemically your body can only generate those hormones for three years at a time. So even in The Notebook or stories like that,…
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/19 08:27 PM
1

It’s only a little important. If he eats clean and works out, he’s probably attractive enough from the neck down. His face has to be pleasant enough to look at every day, and something you wouldn’t mind passing to your kids, but there’s a large variety of what would be acceptable. As time goes by, other traits matter so much more.
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/19 02:01 AM
3

I think you’re seeing lots of positive career woman narratives but the SAHM narratives you are are just eye roll inducing. So maybe you need a more positive vision of what you can be and how absolutely vital your dedication to your children and husband will be in lives. If you don’t have anyone in your life who is doing what you want to do as a mom and can mentor you, maybe books about it would help. Stefan Molyneux recommended this book called Being There: Why Prioritizing Motherhood in the Fir…
/r/RedPillWomen29/08/19 10:04 PM
2

Gonna be real red pill with you. You are 30 dating a 34yo soon to be doctor. Unless his mental health issues are debilitating, or unless you’re a model or heiress, this is probably the best you’re going to get. I think you’re taking the right approach by being straightforward without nagging, and waiting to see what he does on his own. Just don’t wait too long. If you want kids, you don’t have much time left to meet, date, marry, settle down, and procreate with anyone else. So if you think this …
/r/RedPillWomen29/08/19 03:34 AM
–

Amen! When I found hiking, it was finally a form of exercise I liked. I could get lost in the “flow” of it and didn’t need or want any outside distractions like music, my phone, or even other people. It was the first form of exercise that truly made me happy and wasn’t just to burn calories or get stronger. I’ve been doing it more this year, and it has been a respite and a solace for me. I really recommend women to get some hours of alone time every so often that doesn’t involve screens. I’ve ha…
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/19 05:02 PM
4

Alex Kirkman from Designated Survivor. She’s successful in her own right and highly intelligent, but she drops her ambition to cheerlead for her husband and support his agenda. She advocates fiercely for her family and is always gentle and feminine.
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/19 06:01 AM
3

She is pretty next level when it comes to following her captain.
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/19 05:58 AM
1

English Like a Native and English with Lucy both have a very refined and classy sound to them.
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/19 07:12 PM
1

He doesn’t brush at night unless I get on his case. And he has a habit of only brushing in the morning when he’s about to go somewhere, which can be gross if we are at home for a while first. I mean his teeth are gonna fall out of his mouth. Vet your guys, ladies! Lacking in little habits is a sign of lacking in big habits.
/r/RedPillWomen15/08/19 01:46 PM
1

What a great question, and I’ve already enjoyed the responses here. To add my two cents, I would recommend just using opportunities where you can reduce the noise going on. Like just don’t turn on anything when you’re on a drive. Do your chores while listening to your thoughts. If that’s too tough, switch to instrumental music. Some new age can be good for that, or even EDM if it’s very trance like and not played too loudly. Headspace, the app, is good for meditation because it’s short and guide…
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/19 10:11 PM
2

Idk if you are religious, but I go to a conservative (not evangelical) church and pretty much all my peers are like minded.
/r/RedPillWomen06/08/19 09:09 PM
12

I just wish I didn’t have to nag to get him to do simple things like brush his teeth or pick his clothes up off the floor. I wish I had listened to this sub about vetting! I honestly thought he would get a bit more tidy once married life domesticated him. Nope, he showed me who he was gonna be when we were dating and now if I want it clean I have to trail behind him and pick it up myself.
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/19 03:10 AM
2

Breastfeeding my kids is very important to me and also makes me disproportionately hungry. Of course, willpower and self control are possible, but when you’re already tired, it’s hard to fight biology. So you pick your priorities.
/r/RedPillWomen29/05/19 08:10 PM
4

I spent seven years in school as an adult to enhance my future. Why wouldn’t I spend a few years at home during crucial early childhood development to enhance my child’s future?
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/19 04:09 PM
3

It could be harmless, but it seems like he’s not taking the hint. You need to gray rock that guy. Prey animals that can’t get away need to play dead until the predator loses interest.
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/19 09:48 PM
3

I’m an attorney who’s been a SAHW/M for several years and I’m brushing up to start estate planning part time. I can take as many or as few clients as I want, and will rarely or never have to go to court.
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/19 02:40 PM
2

Do you want this relationship to work? He might say he does, but actions speak louder than words, and if he’s not acting like he wants to make it work, you have come to the end of your vetting process with him.
/r/RedPillWomen29/03/19 10:38 PM
2

Sometimes people fudge the ages a bit when posting to stay more anonymous. It doesn’t mean the whole post is fake.
/r/RedPillWomen29/03/19 06:27 PM
0

The Psychology Today website has a great therapist directory. What I liked about it was looking through the profiles where the therapists describe themselves and what issues they like to treat. I had one that didn’t work out for me, and then tried another one and really felt like I was getting good help.
/r/RedPillWomen29/03/19 03:35 AM
2

I like Expecting Better by Emily Oster. It's basically an analysis of the data of common pregnancy recommendations, looking at which ones are good guidelines and which ones are just scaremongering. It's made my pregnancies much more relaxed and enjoyable. I don't know why so many people like to tell you what you can't do as soon as they find out you're pregnant, but self care is going to be as important as ever, and it's nice to know what you don't need to worry about.
/r/RedPillWomen10/12/18 05:55 AM
2

I’m kind of middle of the road on this. I’m okay with opposite sex friends in groups. I think one on one should be taken on a situation by situation basis and SO should have veto power of any activity they are uncomfortable with. If you don’t like it, it’s not the relationship for you. My DH has female friends from a decade ago who he keeps up with on Facebook. I don’t mind this and don’t keep an eye on it because there isn’t a close proximity physically or in time (they haven’t been close in re…
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/18 06:20 AM
3

Couples who live together before marriage are actually slightly more likely to get divorced than couples who don’t. The surrender is all about taking care of yourself and not trying to force an outcome (e.g. moving in) from the guy. If what he is doing of his own free will is not working for her, then she can move on.
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/18 06:42 PM
2

Listen to that voice! I didn’t, and now I have a $100,000 degree I don’t want to use. If marriage and family are your priority right now, do everything you can to set yourself up for a successful one. Also, please don’t fall into the trap of thinking that he is the only one you can marry and have kids with. You are 26, you can still find someone in a year or two and be married and start baby making another year or two after that. Statistically speaking, you have time to spare. If you’re concerne…
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/18 06:37 PM
1

We have weekly meetings about our finances. He suggested it. We review our spending and any income for the week, remind each other of tasks to be done, follow up on old to dos, and set any new goals if we need to. For a long time, I was handling everything because he had a legit spending problem and money would burn a hole through his pocket. This was something we agreed on together for accountability, not something I imposed. I still checked with him about anything out of the ordinary (I always…
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/18 09:19 PM
31

As a proud mom of three intact boys, I’m sorry this happened to you. Parents should at least be willing to hear how their actions affected you and apologize for not knowing any better at the time.
/r/MensRights04/11/18 06:53 AM
2

Isn’t it called “As Nature Made Him”?
/r/MensRights26/10/18 05:55 AM
6

One really cool thing I noticed is that if I take only a little bit of what’s offered, and eat it slowly while paying attention to the flavors and textures, I get more out of it than just mindlessly eating until I’m stuffed. I can put down he fork with satisfaction, saying “mmm, that was good.” My DH does like me to enjoy treats with him, but he doesn’t care what amount. Free cookies at work would be like a game for me to feel success every day I avoided them. Being kind of snobby about it works…
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/18 11:36 PM
3

Feels like they missed a chance to make it #MenToo
/r/MensRights27/09/18 07:47 PM
1

Right but PP will absolutely not give you other options. You have to look for them elsewhere.
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/18 02:42 AM
3

I think based on this he could be amazing for you, but you may need to hold off on the wedding for a while to go through a new, emotionally open phase of the relationship. You’ve had a lot of change quickly, and if it takes another season to be sure you’re making the right decision, it’s for the best no matter what you decide.
/r/RedPillWomen06/08/18 05:51 AM
2

I think an abortion would be a dealbreaker for any respectable man looking for a wife and mother for his children. So while you are not in an easy position, I don’t think abortion will make it easier. Nothing you do will be ideal or will make your life go back to what it was before.
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/18 02:21 PM
2

Unfortunately abortion is such a polarized issue in the US, in most states she would not receive any counseling on other options at an abortion clinic. A pregnancy resource center can give her information on all available options besides abortion, though. And keeping an appointment with a pregnancy resource center doesn’t usually mean an immediate binding decision like it does at an abortion clinic.
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/18 02:17 PM
1

Glad to hear it!
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/18 01:37 AM
8

For married women with a Christian slant, there’s The Peaceful Wife.
/r/RedPillWomen11/07/18 06:07 AM
9

I generally think a marriage should wait until the man can hold a job. There’s too much instability beforehand. It might be different if he was, say, one year away from graduating and already had a job lined up.
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/18 02:29 PM
5

I would meet for drinks, but only have one actual drink and then switch to water. However, if he wanted to meet really late at night for this I would not accept the invitation because he’s out for a hookup. If it’s early, it leaves time for other more date like activities (mini golf or something where you can actually talk) if the drinks go well.
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/18 05:29 PM
2

I understand. That’s why it’s imperative to speak to an an attorney before making any decisions.
/r/RedPillWomen02/06/18 01:24 AM
2

I disagree. Talk to a family law attorney now about leaving the state. It’s possible that you could move where there is a lower COL, and it’s worth exploring before you close that door.
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/18 07:48 PM
3

I did. Hard to do sometimes, but that’s the ideal I strive to. From what little I know, Meghan identifies as a feminist/egalitarian so I doubt it’ll be that way in hers.
/r/RedPillWomen17/05/18 11:26 PM
23

That last commenter belongs on r/badmaleanatomy. My baby sometimes gets a little rise down there when I change his diaper. It’s completely involuntary and doesn’t mean anything.
/r/MensRights29/04/18 05:41 AM
2

It doesn’t seem like the behavior of someone who is trying to secure serious commitment from one man. It seems like advertising SMV more than RMV.
/r/RedPillWomen27/04/18 02:03 AM
7

I’ve switched from Glamour and Allure to Good Housekeeping. Not perfect, but strikes a much better balance.
/r/RedPillWomen09/03/18 02:45 AM
1

I don’t mean to be rude, but did you actually read the post?
/r/RedPillWomen07/03/18 08:56 PM
3

Fantastic, thank you for actual advice on what to do today, not yesterday or three years ago. It’s all true, too. I want him to be able to feel just happy and stoked about life, and I know if he’s smoking, it means he doesn’t feel that way and needs to cope. I was really angry when I posted the original thread, but after some self care I’ve remembered how good he is in other areas and how he’s a human being who I love and is worth the effort even if he does hurtful things sometimes.
/r/RedPillWomen06/03/18 08:45 PM
1

We live with my parents right now. It’s a full house and there is no other room. I figured he would stay with his friend down the street.
/r/RedPillWomen06/03/18 08:37 PM
1

There’s a lot of wisdom in this. I always wanted to be an excellent wife and mother. That’s still my primary goal. But sometimes when I get someone to watch the kids for a bit, I don’t even know what I like to do anymore. I read a lot. I reddit too much. This business that I’m starting is in a career I abandoned before I met him, because I had one bad experience and just didn’t believe I could do it. I’m better now. I know that not only can I do it, but I can do it on my own terms and make it so…
/r/RedPillWomen06/03/18 08:27 PM
2

Good idea, I’ll do that. And it may be worth it to pay more for the smoker rate insurance.
/r/RedPillWomen06/03/18 08:10 PM
3

He had become obese, yes. Also felt like crap from all the sugar. Now he’s on keto and doing pretty well. Yes, that’s why I said at the outset that it may have been a bad idea to get married when we did, to prevent comments like this. It’s not very helpful to tell me what I should have done three years ago. We are married and not going anywhere, so I am asking for advice on what to do with today’s situation.
/r/RedPillWomen06/03/18 08:08 PM
1

For sure, it’s not a serious addiction yet. But the addictive behaviors are present: lying and shirking duties and doing it when it’s a bad time but he just can’t help himself. He went several months without it and then is on it again. That’s addictive type behavior, and if history is an indication it will lead to worse. I mean, I did try the stuff, even though it wasn’t my thing I know it’s not this crazy thing. I would be okay with it in moderation even though I dislike who he is on it. But ev…
/r/RedPillWomen06/03/18 03:13 PM
3

I explained that he had smoked before marriage but quit before I even considered dating him. He took it up again after we were married. It may not be physically addictive like other substances, but addiction has a strong mental component and that’s where it lies. He was also addicted to soda, drinking large amounts every day despite the negative consequences to his health and energy. Thankfully, that’s one of the things he has improved lately. But all that to say, an addictive personality can ge…
/r/RedPillWomen06/03/18 03:00 PM
2

I totally agree. I thought he had kicked the habit before we married. I didn’t realize how strong it was to keep coming back. But now that I’m in this position, now what? Just accept it?
/r/RedPillWomen06/03/18 02:50 PM
6

You sound a lot like him. I’m sure he can relate to the anxiety inducing part. Just to clarify, what I meant is that it’s been several times already this calendar year. Like, the last two months. While he said he was at the gym, job interviews, and such. We tried the moderation approach early on when he wanted to start smoking again, and he absolutely could not keep it limited. So we both decided that it’s better if it’s not in his life. Maybe he’s different now, but I don’t see it. Also, it’s n…
/r/RedPillWomen06/03/18 02:46 PM
2

Love it!
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/17 02:21 PM
1

It seems like the list of things this Gage doesn't care about is (mostly) antithetical to things we screen for. The difference is that we don't nag them, we next them. The only thing we have in common with her in the unwillingness to get into fights over it.
/r/RedPillWomen19/10/17 05:59 PM
1

Church is my #1. I'm Eastern Orthodox, so most of the women my age at church have very traditional values and are SAHM or work part time and have several kids. It's hard to find time to do anything together outside of church, but that's because they're as interested in their family life as I am in mine. I was involved in politics before having kids, and made a lot of friends of all ages, male and female, there too. I still see some of them from time to time. Sadly, the younger ones seem more int…
/r/RedPillWomen19/10/17 05:37 PM
3

Another tragic consequence of the breakdown of the family caused by feminism. My boys look like their father and I love them all the more for it.
/r/MensRights15/10/17 12:47 AM
2

I'm so sorry but it sounds like you don't want the same things. If he's set on a poly relationship, that should be a deal breaker for you. I think in your heart you already know that but you are afraid of the discomfort of breaking up and starting over. But you don't have to be. 27 years old and a 7 is not a bad place to be in! What I'd give to be there again! Especially for a sweet meek woman like yourself! I think you need something to help you raise your confidence. It's a life skill to be ab…
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/17 06:38 PM
2

True, he may not be a unicorn, but reading between the lines it seems that n count may become an issue if she continues to desire sexual adventure from a man very early in a relationship. If she does break up and date other men because sex is that important, she's in a quandary where she wants to ensure a mate's sexual compatibility but loses RMV every time she checks for it.
/r/RedPillWomen03/10/17 05:46 PM
6

That's all true, and I lurk in /r/deadbedrooms FTTT, but I've gotta say my libido at 32 is nothing like it was at OP's age. Getting older really chills out the libido for some people. I still love to be affectionate, and am receptive to sex whenever he desires, but if he wanted more than a couple times a week I'd be exhausted. So if you're making sex a top priority in a relationships, you might end up with someone you're not otherwise very compatible with. I did this, and let me just say, it was…
/r/RedPillWomen03/10/17 05:32 PM
4

Mine went to massage parlor a for yank jobs a few times in the span of a few months the year we got married, including once when I was pregnant. He told me a week after I found out I was pregnant with twins. It was a huge betrayal. A year and a half later, we worked through it and are still together and mostly happy, although it did introduce distrust into other aspects of our relationship and our sex life's never fully recovered (but that might be a result of kids, too). Right after he told me,…
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/17 05:08 PM
19

Yes. Female friend is out of the question. If he's closer to her, why isn't he with her? And if it's because she's unattractive, does that mean he loves her and just has the hots for you? Absolutely not LTR behavior. Also, it's not okay for him to run to mama when he's afraid of you. Either you're being a nag, or he hasn't grown up yet (or both). This isn't jealousy, it's just how priorities need to be.
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/17 05:25 AM
1

Jews do it. Muslims do it. Historically, most Christians don't. Coptic may be an exception, as they were isolated geopolitically for a long time and developed different customs. In the modern day, the Christians who do are mostly American and African Protestant Christians. The latter may have been influenced by the Muslim customs.
/r/MensRights14/09/17 05:40 PM
3

Although the New Testament technically doesn't prohibit circumcision, it says that circumcision "profits nothing," and for most of Christian history it's been frowned upon. Don't lump us in with the others!
/r/MensRights14/09/17 05:33 PM
4

Or just pee in the corner by where your restroom used to be. (don't do this)
/r/MensRights12/09/17 08:52 PM
1

It's not practiced religiously by the Orthodox, and some of the early church fathers (applies to Catholics too) wrote against it. Martin Luther also wrote against the practice in Jewish communities as barbaric and beyond what God ordered, since rabbis had changed the method in the second century to take off much more skin than the abrahamic version. It's mostly practiced today by Muslims and American Protestants. I'm guessing the Lutherans either don't know of those writings or discount them sin…
/r/MensRights26/08/17 05:26 PM
2

Well, I mean there's no law saying you have to do your hair for him. It's just a thing you do out of respect and to keep the relationship dynamic you desire. It's a choice you have to cut it to be happier yourself, or to keep it to make him happy. I'd choose to keep it even though I'd feel the same way as you! As far as the practicalities, a blunt cut of any length can make hair appear thicker. Maybe when you go in for a trim, you can take very little off the overall length but get the ends nice…
/r/RedPillWomen25/08/17 10:19 PM
-4

I'm sorry you're going through this. Do you feel like he doesn't care for you anymore, or is it just that he doesn't want you to cut your hair? I think an RP equivalent to this would be something like you standing by him if he lost his job through no fault of his own. It might make him seem less masculine or desirable for a while, but you know it's temporary and he didn't do anything wrong. If he's losing love for you over this, time to move on. But if he just misses your hair, I feel like this …
/r/RedPillWomen25/08/17 09:48 PM
15

Christianity used to prohibit circumcision. It's only come back in the last hundred fifty years or so.
/r/MensRights25/08/17 06:16 PM
1

In addition to the excellent comments here, I wanted to add a hairstyle that might work for you. A French braid with the end tucked under. Sasha wears it in The Walking Dead and I always thought it looked nice with her natural black texture.
/r/RedPillWomen15/08/17 02:12 PM
2

That's because people use secondary birth control (such as spermicide or condoms) during the fertile times instead of abstinence. Done that way, basically its effectiveness rate is that of sometimes wearing a condom. It obscures the data. If you don't have sex the week you ovulate, you cannot get pregnant. Just ask over at TFAB!
/r/RedPillWomen11/08/17 04:04 PM
3

You'll be in my thoughts and prayers this evening. I hope it goes well for you.
/r/RedPillWomen11/08/17 03:59 PM
2

Both of you took the risk to create a child. You did nothing wrong that your BF didn't also do. So please don't be ashamed to talk to him. It sounds like you need time to think and talk to your BF before you make a decision you can't take back.
/r/RedPillWomen11/08/17 05:21 AM
4

Actually it's as effective as the pill, if done properly. They have that many kids because they wanted to or didn't care enough to prevent it. OP on the other hand just didn't use the method correctly. It happens if you're not careful to temp every day and abstain on any day that might be iffy. OP, if you continue this method in the future, I recommend the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility, which will help you use it more effectively if that's what you choose. (ETA italics)
/r/RedPillWomen11/08/17 01:42 AM
6

There's a great one called The Peaceful Wife. It's definitely religious, and geared toward Christian women. Worth a watch.
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/17 06:32 PM
5

I'm in my early thirties and take excellent care of my skin. I started noticing the wall last year, and this year it's gotten worse as I have a condition which keeps me from using the most effective skincare ingredients. However, I've grown my hair out and lost weight, so I like to hope it balances out.
/r/RedPillWomen15/07/17 05:57 PM
3

Curology. They formulate it custom for you with high potency and it costs less than some department store junk.
/r/RedPillWomen15/07/17 05:42 PM
1

We share everything. As a practical matter, I have strong passwords though and his are weak sauce so he doesn't remember mine. But phones, emails, Facebook, location data, bank accounts, everything is an open book. There were some fidelity issues with him after we were already married, and we were on the same page wanting to heal the damage and stay committed, so we gave each other total access. I figure neither of us should have secrets from each other anyway unless it's like a birthday surpris…
/r/RedPillWomen24/06/17 05:14 PM
2

Also, if you don't trust Apple or Google to store your data privately, you can turn off these features and use ACLU's Mobile Justice app for any police encounter.
/r/MensRights30/05/17 09:02 PM
1

Every relationship worth having involves compromise. You are going to have to be around big groups more than you would like, and he is going to have to miss out on some things he wants to do. If you're both willing, I don't see why it can't work. However, it's possible that he sees wife material and friend material as two different things, and you fit in the first category only. Maybe he sees you as loyal, trustworthy, beautiful, caring, and virtuous, but not necessarily fun. If you get that fee…
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/17 10:52 PM
3

Right, like if you don't want a haircut, don't go to a salon and sit in the chair.
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/17 07:11 PM
13

Well... You do blame the criminal for his own actions, but you also acknowledge the role played by the victim's carelessness.
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/17 06:34 AM
2

Yet another reason I will be homeschooling my boys or sending them to an alternative style (Montessori or Waldorf) school. Our education system is geared toward equalization in the direction of the least common denominator, which conflicts with my goal as a mother to enable my boys to achieve their full potential and live the happiest lives possible.
/r/MensRights18/04/17 05:15 PM
4

It sounds like he is exhibiting the behavior of a sex addict. It may not manifest in your sex life, but in sexual behavior that is hidden from you due to shame. Part of him wants to stop, but he can't do it on his own. Because of brain chemistry, this is as real as a drug addiction. How do I know? My husband is a recovering sex addict. This traumatic event that happened to him, does it have to do with molestation or sexual material in any way? I strongly suggest that you check out an S Anon meet…
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/17 05:24 AM
1

I think many more children have single mothers than single fathers.
/r/RedPillWomen31/03/17 10:19 PM
2

I am sure glad you are her friend. I wonder if she gave up control, how long it would take Barry to step in. Laura Doyle (author of some RPWish relationship books) says that he will eventually unless there are problems like abuse or addiction. I can relate to Lucy in that I just feel that I do things the way I like them and sometimes don't want to give up control to a husband who seems unmotivated. It's funny though, when we had twins, he really stepped up to the plate since there were things bo…
/r/RedPillWomen31/03/17 06:21 PM
3

If she's that depressed, she should go to a mental hospital for treatment, not self medicate with a misguided attempt to find herself. She has obligations to her children and won't ever find fulfillment if she hasn't met those first.
/r/RedPillWomen31/03/17 06:05 PM
1

I have a policy to never turn down sex. If I am not in the mood or have other factors, I'm honest with him. I'm breastfeeding two infants right now so my libido is quite low and I am often tired with other things on my mind. So he will bring it up and I'll say something like "I'm not in the mood right now, but I'm sure you can get me there!" or "gee babe, I would love to if it weren't for this headache!" Then I receive his problem solving (foreplay, massage, maybe some pain relief, or maybe afte…
/r/RedPillWomen27/02/17 04:44 AM
6

I just watched Gentlemen Prefer Blondes on Netflix. While on a transatlantic cruise, a bubbly blonde (Marilyn Monroe) who is engaged to a wealthy businessman tries to stay out of trouble and find a suitable partner for her best friend, a savvy brunette who always falls in love with the wrong kind of man. It's funny, female-centric, and full of little truths, like when Marilyn's character tells her would-be father-in-law that her wanting to marry a rich man is like him wanting to marry a pretty g…
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/17 05:06 AM
2

A few years ago, I was living with my parents temporarily after a bad breakup. I was about 27 at the time. I wanted to go on a trip abroad with some friends, and my mom had doubts. I listened to my mom, considered her concerns, and decided to go anyway. Once you have more experience being an adult, that's how it'll work. You still love and respect your parents, and you abide by house rules in their house, but you at no longer obligated to obey them. Right now because you're still 19, you're over…
/r/RedPillWomen11/06/16 07:26 PM
6

What are covert contracts?
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/16 03:03 AM
4

I'm a woman in a few hobbies, boards of directors, etc. that are mostly male. We haven't had this attitude infect us because the few women there are allies to the men. If there was a woman who started acting all oppressed, the other women would correct her. So depending on what it is, you might want to recruit a woman or two who will reinforce the culture you want to foster.
/r/MensRights15/01/16 09:32 PM
2

Can we sticky or sidebar this list, especially the part about the binder? It's such a good idea!
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/16 09:36 AM
1

I like this way of phrasing. It's annoying when it's in question format and you know he's trying to see if your plans are good enough for him to stay committed to. I would rather he acknowledge that he might break plans, say what it's for, and then ask about the impact on me. It's more direct and easy to respect.
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/15 07:05 PM
1

The respect my husband needs is strongly tied in with his love language of words of affirmation. I will not assume that he knows that I'm thankful for him. I will tell him. I think I've let it slide without realizing it, because a simple compliment does not seem like enough for him--he wants lists and details of exactly why I like the things he does. This is a bad reason and I will not let it happen anymore.
/r/RedPillWomen23/12/15 12:53 AM
3

Problem is that the strong men don't want loud, bossy women.
/r/RedPillWomen19/12/15 02:46 AM
8

Sorry I didn't do this before!
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/15 12:56 AM
8

It's perfectly fine to have a conversation in which you say "when I think about my life, I think I would like to be married within two or three years of graduation." You don't need to explain why unless he asks. That's stating your desire in an authentic, non pushy way, and giving him an opportunity to respond. If you have a good relationship, he will want to provide you what you want within reason. If he doesn't, that's his prerogative, but how can he know unless you tell him?
/r/RedPillWomen09/12/15 06:41 AM
2

I also have a law degree and stay at home! Nobody else I know is a SAHW (though I know a few SAHMs) so I feel like I have to justify my existence sometimes. My husband keeps reminding me to cut that out. But I have a clean and well maintained home, cook every meal and snack (hubby has never once had to cook while we've been married!), and have time for friends and volunteer work. It's so worth it when hubby feels good about himself because he's doing well at work, earning many times what he made…
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/15 05:42 PM
3

I'm with you on how seriously the downturn has affected millennials, but a wedding only has to cost $50 or however much the license is.
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/15 04:45 AM
2

What are his dreams? Is he content with where his life is now? My husband started from an extreme disadvantage of coming from a broken home, moving around between relatives as a kid, and hadn't graduated high school. But he had huge dreams and moved towards them a little bit further every day. All I had to do was encourage him by telling him I believed in him, and step back, allowing him to make mistakes along the way. His income this year is 15x higher than last year, and he wants it to multipl…
/r/RedPillWomen17/11/15 01:05 AM
1

We don't have kids yet, but we generally agreed that he will name boys and I will name girls, with each of us having veto power over names we truly dislike. He wants to give all our boys his first name, with a different middle name that they will go by. I'm not crazy about the idea, but other than being an occasional minor annoyance, I don't see it affecting their future too dramatically, so I'll go with it if it's important to him.
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/15 10:52 PM
4

Much of what we talk about is biological differences. If you reject those dichotomies, the mods will take down your comments pretty swiftly. There are precious few places for like-minded women to discuss feminine imperatives, so if you are participating here, just try not to rock the boat. We get enough of that elsewhere.
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/15 07:24 PM
3

I haven't quite figured this out yet. At home, I am pretty good at saying what I want but accepting if I don't get it. My husband likes to please me and will do things that please me to the extent that it makes sense for us. At work, it's different. I have to calculate what is a want versus what will make me walk. If I ask for too many things that are not deal breakers, I know it makes me look weak. Right now in a board I serve on, I have done a lot of people a lot of favors, in a gracious and f…
/r/RedPillWomen17/10/15 07:36 PM
1

Thanks for this! It helps me understand why he wants help to begin with, since he's the number 3 salesman in the top team in the country. But the top is eluding him, it does bother him, I'm sure more than he lets on. We've just been married a couple of months, and I'm already surprised at how much of a driving force he has to not let his family live in poverty. We're doing great in my opinion, but he wants to do 10x better. So I want to encourage him that I think he's doing well at work and doin…
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/15 04:26 PM
2

Thanks for your perspective. He has met her a few times. She would hang out at the coffee shop and he'd see her there and sit and chat. So they might have a few hours of conversation under their belts. I would never, ever compel someone to receive service they signed up for... Great point. I will bring that up if it seems appropriate. I'm not sure whether the money is due up front. He made it sound like a recurring monthly expense.
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/15 04:17 PM
1

Haha wow that is some great hypocrisy on my part right there. Hate to admit it, but you're right! Thanks for pointing that out and helping me be better!
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/15 04:13 PM
1

Thank you for all this. It is very helpful. Implementing it in the past few days, he understands that I am there for his support in whichever choice he makes. (I think right now he's leaning toward still doing it but negotiating a lower price or a shorter contract.) We will go over next year's budget first, and I will help him review the contract, which I'm able to do because of relevant job experience. I do have to be careful with educational elitism, more so than I realized until now. I have a…
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/15 04:11 PM
1

Good question. I don't think so. I'm not threatened by her in a romantic or sexual way. He has a female therapist that he goes to on occasion and I am just happy for him to get what he needs. On the other hand, the fact that I already know from meeting her that she has a tendency to overshare and try to get too close too soon, means that I do feel there's a potential level of inappropriateness and that could be part of the fear. It would not be right for me to become closer friends with another …
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/15 03:57 PM
1

I am not jealous of her as a romantic or sexual prospect for him. However, I could be jealous of him having her as a close confidante, especially if he's hearing advice from her that he wouldn't hear coming from me, or if her influence will cause changes that I don't like. You're right, I need to separate this from the financial implications.
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/15 07:49 PM
3

Well, I think so too. Problem is, I need to be supportive of my husband, who thinks this will be valuable. I married him knowing he is creative and capable, and more of a risk-taker in certain areas than I am. Having read some of these comments and thought about it, if all we lose is money, that's just fine. We can't afford to lose our trust in each other.
/r/RedPillWomen13/10/15 11:41 PM
4

I appreciate you taking the time to chat, and I'm not offended or anything, but could you point out where I talked about him disrespectfully? I mean, I wrote what I think of these ideas, but I think that's separate from how I treat DH. Not trying to be defensive here; I sincerely want to learn. I knew I would get honest and maybe painful insight in this forum and that's why I posted here rather than anywhere else on reddit. Anyhow, as to your question, we've always disagreed on the value of thos…
/r/RedPillWomen13/10/15 11:08 PM
1

I thought someone might say this, and you are right. Thank you for your comment.
/r/RedPillWomen13/10/15 10:48 PM
2

Thanks for your reply. I'll give that a go. He does like to negotiate, so I may be able to at least encourage him to negotiate their arrangement.
/r/RedPillWomen13/10/15 10:45 PM
4

We met her at a coffee shop, where she would spend all day doing nothing and chatting with whoever came in. Her LinkedIn claims a bunch of "certifications" that only exist because some dude offered a seminar for certificates at the end. She is a practitioner of a pseudoscience called NLP. She uses incomprehensible psychobabble instead of clear and precise language, e.g. promising "hope and change" instead of "we will cut the deficit by 32.5% over the next three fiscal years." I don't mind a pers…
/r/RedPillWomen13/10/15 10:44 PM
4

My husband is usually frugal but occasionally splurges on things he considers self-improvement. It's become a touchy subject because it extends beyond this woman to our disagreement on the helpfulness of a cadre of feel-good motivational speakers who don't back their claims with anything other than anecdotes. I think that sure, they can give you some good tidbits, but you have to take them with a grain of salt and you certainly shouldn't base any major decisions off what they say. He disagrees a…
/r/RedPillWomen13/10/15 10:33 PM
2

If you would like to spend less time with the in laws, say cutting it down to once a week, it's okay to say that respectfully as your honest desire, without nagging or trying to control the outcome of your husbands decision. Or if you would just like more time to yourself, it's okay to say that in the same way. Your husband wants you to be happy! You may not see a solution, but maybe he will. When I feel overwhelmed, I tell my husband and he tells me to just relax. Even though my household dutie…
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/15 06:09 PM
6

My church has had an open doors policy since at least the early 90s when it comes to female congregants meeting alone with pastors. The reason is given as "keeping everybody accountable," but I'm sure it helps with liability too.
/r/MensRights01/10/15 07:49 PM
1

My guy is going through some of this. There were influences in his life sapping his energy. It's taken a while, but he's been getting rid of those things one at a time. I did suggest it but tried not to harp on it. The current thing we are working on is sugar consumption. He used to have like a 2 liter of Coke every day. I stopped sugar in solidarity with him, which seems to be helping him. He will take the initiative to help me, just not in the way or at the time I might prefer. So I have to gi…
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/15 09:48 PM
8

Marriage counseling is a sham. Their outcomes wouldn't be acceptable in medicine, but somehow we allow it in the field of psychology. You can't "work on the relationship," you can only work on yourself and what you are putting into the relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen20/09/15 03:34 PM
3

I feel the same way about nutrients. If he is unhealthy because of my cooking, I'm not okay with that. Hubby picks out veggies from some things but will eat onions and bell peppers mixed in with meat, and will eat a small side salad if I toss it with the right dressing and no vegetable toppings. He will drink orange juice so I at least know he's getting his vitamin c. Probably the best thing I can do is let him know that I care about his health and then don't mention it much. I have some work to…
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/15 04:59 PM
15

Great encouragement for the rest of us!
/r/RedPillWomen04/09/15 09:06 PM
6

My guy is used to eating out all the time and isn't very enthusiastic about my cooking. It's discouraging, but I keep trying. He does seem to like tacos, and I can sneak a lot of veggies into the meat. I still need to cook for me anyway since I don't want to gain weight or spend my allowance on eating out. How did you ladies become kitchen goddesses?
/r/RedPillWomen04/09/15 09:17 AM
5

This is blatantly against the Religious Land Use and Institutionalized Persons Act. Forbidding long hair for religious purposes is not the least restrictive means of achieving prison safety. This is why all religions must be protected so that unpopular beliefs are not unfairly targeted.
/r/MensRights07/08/15 04:54 PM
10

If travel is important to your life and he doesn't want to travel, you can either break up, accept never traveling again, or work out a way where he is okay with you occasionally traveling alone or with a female companion. A lot of the hardline responses are telling you that he will plate you for this. I doubt that, given your preexisting friendship. But if that's true, is that the kind of leadership you want? My captain would not let me miss out on anything that I was passionate about unless he…
/r/RedPillWomen05/08/15 02:22 AM
1

I agree in theory, but cash is fungible and there are plenty of things a parent needs to buy that go for the whole family, such as groceries, toiletries, furnishings, fuel, and insurance. Should the child support money go first toward child-only expenditures like school supplies and children's clothing? Maybe, but the kids have to eat too.
/r/MensRights16/07/15 12:58 AM
3

He's admitted that he's being irrational and he can't control it. He goes from blaming my culture to blaming me to forgiving me because "I didn't know better" to realizing he's being "crazy" (his word) and then being upset with himself... and on and on and on it goes... I'm so emotionally exhausted. What I'm saying is that this is not something she can help him work out. Nobody's saying he's a bad person, or bashing him. But right now his emotions are out of control, at least according to OP's n…
/r/RedPillWomen05/07/15 01:39 PM
3

Because it's written by someone who is an RPW. Do you want me to say "it sounds like he's not being a captain" or "he is losing frame" or "he should be your rock"? That's pretty much what I said, without the lingo.
/r/RedPillWomen04/07/15 09:00 PM
5

Wishing you were a virgin is understandable. The way he's handling it is very hard on you emotionally. The past is not something you can fix, so it's something he should be considering and contemplating on his own to determine if he can get past it. He should not bring you into the craziness. Cultural differences can be okay if both parties are understanding and work on themselves first. Hopefully he is just in a funk because you're gone, and will bounce back soon. But if this doesn't blow over …
/r/RedPillWomen04/07/15 06:27 PM
2

I think the communication aspect of this is good, but for most men it's too many words and too much discussion. In The Surrendered Wife, Laura Doyle suggests saying "ouch" and then nothing further when he says something hurtful or unloving. That would have sufficed here. Or, after they have gotten home and she has examined her role in the argument and agreed to work on what he asked her to, she could say "Darling I don't like it when you curse at me." Again, she should just leave it at that and …
/r/RedPillWomen02/07/15 05:28 AM
5

Me: Well, I'm sure he tried going to your apartment and no one was there either. This was the pivotal moment in that conversation. Your comment to him may seem innocent enough to you, but consider that men speak the language of respect much more strongly than women. He saw the truth behind this comment much more readily than you do—he saw that you were trying to control the intensity of his reaction. At this point in the conversation, he is not only hungry and frustrated with an apparently dim p…
/r/RedPillWomen02/07/15 05:17 AM
2

This is my take, but I could be wrong and I'm willing to learn. I'm re-reading The Surrendered Wife right now, and one of the ideas there is to take care of yourself first so that you are able to take care of others. Another idea is to surrender responsibility to your man for anything he is capable of doing for himself, under the assumption that you will help unquestioningly if he asks for it. So along those guidelines, if you don't live together, you should promptly clean up after yourself when…
/r/RedPillWomen02/07/15 04:46 AM
3

Thankfully, it's just for the one night. I'm happy to be back home.
/r/RedPillWomen29/06/15 03:42 PM
11

That did sound really bitchy, didn't it? What I meant is that he is not a desirable man in looks or demeanor and I am reasonably certain she would not have liaised with him sober.
/r/RedPillWomen29/06/15 08:27 AM
10

True. When I book my own room next time, most of this will be of no concern to me.
/r/RedPillWomen29/06/15 08:25 AM
16

Yeah, he totally scored! Probably made his year!
/r/RedPillWomen29/06/15 08:24 AM
7

I've made plenty in my day and I'm sure I'll make plenty more. But I'm glad I can say that high partner count is not among them.
/r/RedPillWomen29/06/15 08:22 AM
12

I would be so grossed out by a count that high. I would look for someone who had sex for a reason, not just because he was there and she was there. This might include a couple of LTRs and a couple of mistakes, but even five seems kind of icky to me. There more times he's gotten new action, the more habitualized he is to doing it again and again.
/r/RedPillWomen28/06/15 03:37 PM
4

I have a hard time with this as well. I can't stand endless complaining sessions, and he can get quite upset and cynical when we have to deal with institutional incompetency (long lines at DMV, church event disorganized, boss who doesn't know how to manage, etc.). I don't know that I've handled it well. Sometimes I try to mollify him by explaining why it's not so bad or it has to be that way, and he hates when I do this. I am trying to be more self-aware and stop doing this, but I think I'm afra…
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/15 02:24 PM
5

I've been there. I couldn't get back to empathy with my XH, but I've maintained it so far with my fiancé. I think it's part of the AWALT issue. We just forget to step into his world from time to time and see everything from our frame of reference. It's funny because when you first fall in love, it's for a reason, right, like he does XYZ that is manly and responsible and assertive and sexy. But when you choose to stay in love, it loses the conditions that it came with. Now I love him even when he…
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/15 03:42 PM
3

None of those look great to me. I guess if have to go with built fat. I like strong muscles under a layer of padding, and low belly fat.
/r/RedPillWomen16/06/15 10:19 PM
2

I went through law school to please my dad, and now I'm 100k in debt with no interest in a traditional attorney career trajectory. My fiancé and I will have to put off having a family as soon as we'd like so that I can commute to a job I only kind of want to pay down debt I didn't need to take out. It all feels so pointless. And kind of cruel, because nobody ever told me I could "just" be a mom and wife, so it took me about 10 years too long to figure it out. What a waste. (Not to say that life …
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/15 06:32 PM
1

Definitely. We don't have an egalitarian thing going but he definitely solicits constructive criticism because he has a relentless drive to be the best version of himself. I neglected to mention that if I did this, I would protect his ego by prefacing that I didn't know everything and I'm sure I have a few less than optimal habits as well. Then he doesn't feel steamrolled. So rather than silent treatment like many guys would give, he would engage and say "is brushing twice a day really necessary…
/r/RedPillWomen02/06/15 06:21 PM
2

My SO would see through this and feel nagged. On the other hand, if I explained to him in a gentle but direct way that his hair often looked greasy/ privates smelled bad/ teeth were suffering, he might actually do something about it. I had to do this with the tooth brushing issue because he was raised by whatever relatives would take him and never developed a nighttime routine of oral health. He would brush in the morning but not at night. It's getting better now because I told him that it was i…
/r/RedPillWomen02/06/15 05:43 PM
2

It's in the sidebar. Sometimes people answer them in the body of their post without specifically referring to the questions; other times they quote the questions like OP did.
/r/RedPillWomen02/06/15 05:39 PM
1

Haha your family sounds fun and interesting to be around!
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/15 06:23 PM
3

I love the meaning of that! Also I love it as an Uncharted reference :)
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/15 06:21 PM
4

If you think you're handling something fine but he makes a suggestion anyway, take the suggestion. If you know what to do, take it on unless he would prefer to do it. If you don't know what to do, ask for his help and praise him like the hero he is when he comes through for you.
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/15 09:21 PM
1

Sorry, haven't been on as much this week. Will send tomorrow.
/r/RedPillWomen22/05/15 08:11 AM
3

Exactly. I don't want power. I want to bring forth life, to be good, to have an interesting life, and perhaps to have influence, but I do not aspire to be rich and powerful, because I would likely have to trade my precious femininity to become so.
/r/RedPillWomen19/05/15 10:00 PM
2

The conspiracy theory side of me wants to say that it's about getting tax money out of women and taking their children away to be raised by state schools. If a maid has one client, a bachelor, and is paid a wage to cook, clean, bookkeep, and manage his affairs, she is taxed on that income. If the maid and the bachelor marry and the maid continues doing those things to earn her keep in the home, she is no longer taxed on that gain.
/r/RedPillWomen19/05/15 09:59 PM
2

You can be next. Others who said they wanted to borrow it haven't gotten back to me. I just need your email address, whichever one you use on Amazon. Then I send you the link through Amazon and it lets you "borrow" it on your Kindle for two weeks.
/r/RedPillWomen16/05/15 04:05 PM
3

Any kindle users can message me to borrow the book 2 weeks free. First come first served.
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/15 08:17 AM
6

I don't think same sex relationships are relevant here because this community is all about how men and women respond to one another. The whole basis for what we do here is that men and women are different and respond in different ways to things. In the roles we seek to live out, genders are not interchangeable. For instance, if a man wanted to be the submissive party in a hetero relationship and have the woman as his captain, we would not welcome that commenter here (although he's free to do wha…
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/15 09:12 PM
1

Journaling helps, and Reddit helps. The few things that have really bothered me in the last year or so, I have been able to work through myself or post about and get some perspective. DF comes in at the point of the day-to-day. When I haven't found a job yet and I'm feeling demoralized, or a family member is being a tool and I'm sick of it. That said, if it's something I can take to a girlfriend instead, I try to do that, especially when I'm not looking for advice and just want someone to sympat…
/r/RedPillWomen06/05/15 09:12 PM
1

If women's political wants are the same as mens', why do women get to vote? Isn't that just redundant?
/r/MensRights05/05/15 05:18 PM
1

Wow. I normally read ESV, which doesn't use the word veil, but reads That is why a wife ought to have a symbol of authority on her head, because of the angels. Then I read it in the version that has the word veil, as well as other versions here. The "symbol of" seems to be implied rather than directly stated, as other versions simply say "authority" or "power". Also, I saw that the phrase "on her head" was also sometimes translated "over her head," which perhaps implies more symbolism. No wonder…
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/15 06:44 AM
1

This is beautiful; thanks for sharing.
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/15 09:23 AM
0

Interesting! Is this in the U.S.?
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/15 07:04 PM
13

If it's no-fault divorce he's worried about, there are three states that have an opt-in system called "covenant marriage." You don't have to be religious or have a religious ceremony to do this. Most couples elect to get married under the regular laws, but if you get a covenant marriage, divorce either has to be mutually agreed upon or for a set number of traditional reasons, such as physical abuse, adultery, and abandonment. This can provide some protection for him from you just deciding you're…
/r/RedPillWomen28/04/15 06:37 AM
4

My relatives who let their kids sleep with them had such a hard time weaning them off of it the older they got. It might be good to sleep train your kid now so they can be alone when you are getting up and taking care of the baby. It can also help with making more babies eventually, if that's something you and your husband desire ;)
/r/RedPillWomen27/04/15 09:55 PM
1

I think so too!
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/15 08:27 AM
2

It's a sign of respect for the husband. Most don't do it. With those that do, it's for a mix of cultural and religious reasons. It symbolizes that she is under someone else's authority. Although the New Testament just says "women" should cover their heads, he Greek word used can either mean "women" or "married women," so usually it's only practiced by married women. It's the lesser known corollary to the principle that men should not wear hats in church.
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/15 04:03 AM
1

He likes me to wear dresses and skirts, which I do 90-95% of the time. Also nothing immodest. If he tells me something is revealing, I fix it. We are religious, and I have been considering wearing a head covering in church once we are married as a sign of respect. He hasn't pushed the issue but is generally in favor of it as he sees it as his woman bucking the trend of increasing immodesty in our church.
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/15 03:05 AM
2

Emotional intimacy is very important to me and takes time out of the day to cultivate. So I would not tolerate my SO devoting his intimacy elsewhere. We see ourselves and our relationship as the foundation of our family, and would not do anything to hurt that. I'm not familiar with DD as an acronym, but from the context I am guessing you mean enforcing of rules and that kind of thing? Nothing like that has really come up yet for us. My SO is very encouraging if I temporarily fail to meet expecta…
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/15 09:33 PM
4

My SO worked with a married girl who was young, pretty, and naive. She could have been doing better with her life, and he tends to root for the underdog, so when things were slow at work, they would talk about life and stuff, and he would try to give her good advice. I was a little uncomfortable but took a "wait and see" approach. Then he introduced me to her and encouraged me to talk to her because "she really needs a girl friend." He started inviting her to the gym with us because it would be …
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/15 09:18 PM
3

In addition to all the wonderful advice here so far, I'd say you can start building up his leadership by complimenting the things he already does well. Don't be disingenuous, or he'll smell it, but go out of your way to find things he has done well. Contemplate throughout your day everything you are grateful for and it will flow out of you. Also, letting him make any decision he wants right now is crucial. You can, of course, respectfully voice concerns before a decision is final, but once it's …
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/15 08:13 PM
3

As far as the sexual aspect, if you live together as a couple people understand that you will be having sex. Just do it no louder than the volume of conversation and they will be fine. Sure it's nice when the house is empty but that's no excuse. I'll let others wiser than me address the rest.
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/15 07:06 PM
4

In addition to the other advice, I would recommend giving yourself a daily reminder of who you want to be to him as a woman. For me, I tend to think that problems will last forever if they don't show improvement right now, and I have to fight that tendency when my SO is doing things to get better. Coming to this sub daily reminds me of the kind of woman I want to be to him. Perhaps you could print out what you wrote here and stash it in a journal to read as a reminder. You have the tools to be b…
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/15 05:17 PM
10

People can grow. That's what she's looking to do. Let's help her, eh?
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/15 05:12 PM
2

Well I'm a singer so I've studied vocal qualities. For women, we have two main tonal qualities: head voice vs chest voice. This is a sound quality that is separate from pitch (speaking high or low) and loudness. Most native English speakers today speak in chest voice (an extreme example would be how Christina Aguilera usually sings), but head voice is much more feminine (an extreme example would be an opera singer). You can soften the quality of your voice by speaking with that softer head quali…
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/15 03:48 PM
2

When I met my SO I was in a career where I wore a lot of pantsuits, and I also wore heavy makeup. I was going through a rough patch and came off as prickly or aloof because I had walls up. Over time and through reading this sub, I became more feminine. I slowly started wearing more dresses and natural-looking makeup, and speaking in a more feminine voice. As I got to know him, I became more open to his influence. As afraid as I was about having people take advantage of my help, I trusted him and…
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/15 05:26 AM
3

My SO likes to talk big picture societal ideas with me, and my politics differ somewhat from his. I try to use "I could be wrong" liberally. So if there is literally any way I could be mistaken in what I think I know, I'm willing to concede that. It goes a long way in making debates more like discussions so we can keep the emotions in the right place.
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/15 04:59 AM
6

Though you may think contraception is a mutual responsibility, yours and his, ultimately it’s the female body that needs protection. This is just biological fact. Men cannot die of complications due to childbirth. Men can be on the hook financially but not physically. Ignoring this and the female sexual strategy that arises from it is to be willfully ignorant. Every human culture and animal species has sexual strategy based on the realities of reproduction.
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/15 04:52 AM
2

The chart doesn't look like I remember it but yes, looks like it is based on the same data. Good find!
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/15 04:32 AM
4

Way to reframe it!
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/15 12:21 AM
8

Very true. It becomes your subliminal filter.
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/15 12:19 AM
8

Statistically speaking, your likelihood of divorce goes from 20% if you slept with only him before marriage to over 40% if you had only one other partner and then him before marriage. The rate is even lower for virgin brides. (On mobile now, will update with link). Sex is like scotch tape: the more things you stick it to, the more it loses its ability to bond. Edit: Couldn't find the chart I saw before, but this post on TRP is informative to multiple studies of the subject.
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/15 12:16 AM
9

When she says "grow up," she really means "man up."
/r/RedPillWomen21/04/15 11:07 PM
10

Nice to hear from the widow's perspective, and I'm glad he article didn't focus on regrets. I often think of what I want my fiancé to say about me when we are old. "She has been so sweet and supportive through everything. She never said a cross word to me. She's as radiant as the day I met her. She is the love of my life."
/r/RedPillWomen21/04/15 06:40 PM
2

Yes. I need to drill this into my head! All my life, I've been told how smart and capable I am. And I am, but it's time for me to follow the leader and be smart and capable under his leadership toward our common goals.
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/15 09:31 PM
11

What men used to gain from it was a good woman. But now that women are giving themselves away for no commitment, I guess that's not the case. Nevertheless, I'm not interested in being part of that social trend.
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/15 09:03 PM
5

I'm the same way. Not believing in marriage would be a dealbreaker for me. Not immediately, but if it didn't change. That said, I'm willing to sign any prenup, go to any counseling, and do anything else it takes to let him know that I am not in this to take advantage of him. And I would be okay with having a church marriage that is not recognized by the state. The state does some messed up things with marriage in this day and age anyway.
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/15 09:02 PM
2

Thanks for taking the time to converse and help me improve :)
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/15 03:50 AM
1

Yes, I definitely need to be capable on my own. I am in my professional life and in volunteer associations, so it's not a stretch at all. It was mostly that I needed an attitude adjustment. I did need some direction, for instance on venue. We live in a wedding destination area so there are possibly hundreds of venues to choose from. When he said the type he wanted, I could make that happen. Same with a couple of other things that are important to him. With everything else, I will have the discre…
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/15 03:46 AM
1

Thank you! Yes, details are not his thing and that's okay. I need to get better at it. I know I can do it. I am starting to get organized since this conversation. Pinterest is a blessing and a curse! So many great ideas, so little time! But I'm setting up a girl date this weekend to go Pinteresting, and we will come up with some ideas.
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/15 03:37 AM
1

Yeah, I think next time I could just say "help, I need big picture leadership please!" I was getting bogged down in all the details and didn't realize it. I get overwhelmed at big projects and it's definitely something I'm working on.
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/15 03:18 AM
10

Handle any emotional issues you have with your parents, particularly your dad. If he's not around or reconciliation is otherwise not possible, perhaps you can write him a letter about the role he has or hasn't played in your life. He doesn't have to accept anything from you or offer you anything in order for you to forgive him.
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/15 12:19 AM
4

The answer should have been, "sure, if you think that's best."
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/15 12:13 AM
2

Is it really "catty" to dislike this woman? If so, I guess most ITT are "catty."
/r/MensRights17/04/15 05:44 PM
3

She got three life lessons here: always arrive early, always dress well, and be careful what you put on Facebook.
/r/MensRights17/04/15 05:41 PM
2

It's a pity; they were doing her a favor by telling her how she can improve. I wish potential employers would do that for me.
/r/MensRights17/04/15 05:33 PM
6

Nice use of the Latin. I think that's what my ex did as well. Intentionally did things that he knew I would get angry at, and then broke up with me for having an anger problem. But you know what? My response was still my responsibility.
/r/RedPillWomen14/04/15 06:14 PM
1

How the heck is this getting down voted? I don't even have a down vote button in this forum, not that I would want to use it often anyway!
/r/RedPillWomen09/04/15 09:10 PM
2

You guys sound perfect for each other!
/r/RedPillWomen09/04/15 05:37 PM
1

I love makeup and used to do a full face most days. But my fiancé prefers I wear less of it, so I pared down to the basics. I have found that with good skincare, I don't need foundation or BB cream. A well-defined brow can perk up your face without looking "made up." I like Anastasia wood pencils. That's probably my best tip. Then I put on brightening concealer under my eyes and matte concealer around the little red area under my nose. Both are by Make Up For Ever. They are expensive to shell ou…
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/15 12:22 AM
4

This is great. All these are great to keep in mind as I head into a second marriage. I have worked on myself a lot since the first one ended, but I still need to remember to have a filter and to avoid getting overly comfortable. One thing I do for that is to always stand to greet my man.
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/15 04:01 PM
12

I had a "no expectations" situation in which neither of us was seeing anyone else but had not committed exclusivity. I worked hard to show him what he could have with me. As I fell for him more, I realized I was foolish for agreeing to something like that, and so one day about four months in, I told him this: "If you want to sleep with other women, I don't begrudge you the opportunity to do that. We have no expectations and that's your prerogative. But I don't think I could handle being with you…
/r/RedPillWomen27/03/15 09:17 PM
3

I don't think this means you should leave. I think this means you need to work on being someone who values what you have. Are you like this in other aspects (I.e. "Nothing to wear" with a closet full of clothes)? Recognize when this trait pops up in all areas of your life. Also, i think you need goals for your relationship. What do you two want your lives to be about? Between now and death, what do you want to accomplish together? Writing out a timeline with my fiancé was very encouraging to me …
/r/RedPillWomen26/03/15 12:00 AM
3

This is especially remarkable given that we don't really proselytize our way of life. Good job leading by example!
/r/RedPillWomen24/03/15 01:50 AM
1

I like some chest hair, arm hair, and leg hair. Trimmed pubic hair is nice but it doesn't bother me wild. Facial hair depends on the guy. I don't like the big duck dynasty beards but a short beard is ok. Mustaches by themselves don't look good on most men. Most men look pretty good with about a weeks worth of beard/mustache growth, with the edges neatened up. As for head hair, I really like the kind of modernized Don Draper look with faded sides and the top hair an inch or two long, combed to th…
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/15 06:38 PM
1

Most guys in western culture today have never met a redpill woman in real life so the description doesn't marched anything they've experienced. Nevertheless, even if your friends truly understood their own preferences and expressed them accurately, there's another factor. Not everybody wants to live a redpill lifestyle, and we are not concerned with them. We know that it's what will make us most fulfilled, and will attract the right kind of guy who does want those qualities. It's like being true…
/r/RedPillWomen14/03/15 07:21 AM
7

Dress modestly and listen more than you speak. You'll do fine!
/r/RedPillWomen11/03/15 01:46 AM
1

I expect both of us to have the dignity and respect to ensure that we rise above our baser natures and keep our commitments to each other.
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/15 07:24 PM
1

Oh. Well if I could do it again I would do alternative education for much cheaper, so I wouldn't have to worry about pulling my weight with finances. Fiancé is finishing school in 2 years while working, and after that I may be able to quit. I was always told I could be anything I wanted to be, but never had homemaker as an option presented to me. Nobody informed me growing up that fertility declines drastically after 35, and that your mind can wait for an education longer than your body can wait…
/r/RedPillWomen23/02/15 06:36 PM
6

Pardon my manners. Thank you for the well wishes!
/r/RedPillWomen21/02/15 04:03 AM
6

I have a law degree and now I'm working in politics.
/r/RedPillWomen21/02/15 04:03 AM
26

I didn't put demands on him and didn't try to fix him. He had a bad habit that he wanted to drop and I really wanted him to drop it. I didn't push it on him, but encouraged him whenever he indicated a desire to change. I continued showing him support through a slow process, and he made it a lasting change when he was ready to do so. Another thing I did was started acting like a helper. I brought him coffee when we had morning meetings. If we ate together at his place, I cleaned up without being …
/r/RedPillWomen20/02/15 09:58 PM
2

I have struggled with anger problems in my past, even to the point of having neighbors call the cops. I was forced to deal with it and completely change my outlook. In my experience, the antidote to rage is empathy. Think about it. When you are upset with him and fly off the handle, are you experiencing his feelings as an extension of your own? No, in fact, what you are trying to do is make him hurt like you hurt. You are trying to force him to empathize with you, but you are not returning the f…
/r/RedPillWomen20/02/15 09:20 PM
1

Late to this thread but this is rock solid advice.
/r/RedPillWomen20/02/15 09:10 PM
14

She probably won't ditch him unless she has a better option to go for, which is not going to happen given the SMV of this guy. That's why women get alpha-widowed. They think they can "get" high SMV men because they can get sex with them. They don't understand the dynamics of the sexual marketplace as it pertains to differences between men and women. They don't understand the concept that they can become their best selves and then be happy with a man who has an equivalent SMV to them. They get gr…
/r/RedPillWomen20/02/15 08:05 PM
5

Ding ding ding! I think this is it. It's not your fault. From what little I know, sounds like you did the right things with the wrong man.
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/15 10:55 PM
1

Others have given good advice as to whether to participate. If I participated, I would want to ask her if she has data showing he happiness levels of men and women in correlation to widespread feminism. She would probably say something about it being inconclusive, or how we have so far to go to overcome patriarchy and its natural to have some growing pains, blah blah blah. In other words, no, feminism has not made men or women happier.
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/15 06:18 PM
1

I don't know; he's planning it. Last year we were only "kinda" together and pretty broke so we went Dutch at Chick-Fil-A. (Little misunderstanding there--we got there and he said he only had 10 bucks, so I said "oh you can get yourself a pretty big meal for that here" trying to help him save face. He meant to pay for me but was asking me to keep it lower or split something. I was oblivious.) Hopefully we will be going for a walk. That's one of my favorite things to do together. There's a housing…
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/15 08:47 AM
1

I don't think there's any one view, except that RPW would advise women to keep their partner count low, which pretty much precludes most sex work. Men don't typically want a LTR with someone who has been in that field, although some users have apparently made it happen by forgoing that work and adopting RPW principles. My personal opinion is that sex work (by men and women alike) is destructive to human dignity and harmful to society. But I also realize that it is a complex and long-standing phe…
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/15 05:59 PM
1

I think casual sex for women is a placeholder for the intimacy they can't seem to get. They can't get it because they need to gain some maturity and get a handle on their emotions, because our society excuses women's bad behavior as caused by victimization. Also they don't need to be emotionally stable to gain a man's commitment, because government will take care of any reproductive mistakes they make. So we have incentivized women to be promiscuous. When they approach the wall, they start reali…
/r/askTRP22/01/15 12:43 AM
2

Your nag tries to control his behavior to match your own, which is hugely solipsistic and damaging to a relationship where both individuals are free to be themselves. You hit the nail on the head there. He would never willingly do anything to hurt the relationship, but he isn't me and he approaches things his own way. I like what you said about something that hasn't happened. I can be bad about feeling like something undesirable will last forever, but I'm getting better now that I am confronting…
/r/RedPillWomen21/01/15 07:52 PM
1

You're welcome!
/r/RedPillWomen21/01/15 08:15 AM
1

I like that concept. Similarly, I've been asking myself "if this never changes, can I live with that?"
/r/RedPillWomen21/01/15 08:14 AM
1

Sounds like you need more practice. What kinda of things are you interested in? There are social clubs for anything where you can get out and talk to strangers about a shared interest. Don't worry about meeting guys there; just work on conversation skills. If you reply telling me some things you're interested in, I will try to find you a club or meetup to join.
/r/RedPillWomen19/01/15 04:02 AM
0

Great book! I am re-reading it now! OP, feel free to message me for virtual book club if you decide to read it.
/r/RedPillWomen19/01/15 03:59 AM
3

Hats off to you, that would be a hard one for me. Keep in mind that it's possible that things are still good but just gross you out. E.g. milk left out overnight is probably not going to make you sick if you use it the next morning. There are plenty of things like that with my SO where he is messy, and I have to remind myself that he is not "wrong" and I am not "right;" we just have different standards of what kinds of living conditions are acceptable. That said, if it's money keeping you from b…
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/15 12:53 AM
1

Good point, and I may have oversimplified the author's point for the sake of brevity. I think we as RPW can agree that 9 times out of 10, when we are tempted to criticize our SOs, we shouldn't. Even at times when criticism is appropriate, it is rarely the most useful tool at our disposal. To take your drug problem example, is it more helpful to say "you are acting ignorant and wasting your life," or to say "you are such a kind and empathetic friend with huge leadership potential. What can I do t…
/r/RedPillWomen14/01/15 07:36 PM
11

Something like this happened to me just yesterday. BF went to use the computer in my room while I finished cleaning up dinner. I came in and my battery backup was beeping and a pair of dress slacks that had been draped over my chair were tossed on the bottom of the comforter where the dog rests (meaning I would have to lint roll hair off of them). I went "ugh babe please don't put clothes on the bottom of the bed. Do you remember why?" He didn't react too well, feeling very disrespected. He said…
/r/RedPillWomen14/01/15 01:05 AM
1

This sounds like a high school student trying to write a legal brief. Just because you use the words "therefore" and "because" doesn't mean your argument has any logical reasoning. The sad thing is, people who don't read much and don't know how to think things through will take this seriously.
/r/MensRights10/01/15 08:56 PM
1

Glad I could help. You are young and haven't become set in your ways yet. It will take time, effort, and discipline, but you can do this and it will be so worth it!
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/15 07:32 PM
3

I will echo off TheTerrorSquad here and say that it's not enough to do submissiveness. You have to actively work on your deepest attitudes and beliefs until you are submissive. Don't wait until something comes up with DF to work on yourself again. It has to be continual, part of the fabric of your life. I was like you. It hurt. I could never have the closeness I wanted in my relationship. My efforts to act like I wasn't angry made me a superficial fake who blew up in anger whenever something ins…
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/15 07:15 PM
3

I waited until he said it in my current relationship and I'm glad I did. For me, it meant letting him take the lead on when he was ready to take the relationship to that level. I wanted to know he really meant it, not pressure him into saying it. I could tell for about a month before that he was gearing up to go there (and he confirmed this after the fact). When he finally said it, it meant more to him than a feeling. It meant a level of commitment that we hadn't had before, because as he told m…
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/15 06:04 PM
5

I am a church every week kind of gal who has taken lots of college level coursework on theology and the Bible. I wouldn't consider dating someone who didn't share not just my beliefs, but my enthusiasm for serving others through the church. A different denomination would be okay to an extent, but not an entirely different worldview. I was married to a guy who was a baptized Christian and fell away from the church. I didn't leave him over it, but it contributed to our decline as a couple (he even…
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/15 08:13 PM
6

I think many women would be happy as SAHMs if they would let themselves be happy that way. They might supplement this with feminine work out of the home, such as selling Avon or giving piano lessons. Some of these women crush me up with ways to help the household that are actually quite successful, but the success is a byproduct of devotion to household needs, not the result of any goal for success for its own sake. These same women may take on office jobs as the kids get older, but their hearts…
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/15 07:00 PM
2

I see your update but I'm gonna throw in my 2 cents anyway. I've been married, divorced, and am now in a serious dating relationship again. I have the same issue as you with conservative parents. I personally would not move in with my SO until we at least had a wedding date a few months away. Ideally we would be married before moving in. Sure, it's a little frustrating logistically, but studies show that cohabiting before marriage correlates with an increased chance of divorce. Having been divor…
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/15 07:53 PM
2

I've been trying to cook at home more. In a previous relationship, our grocery budget was no big deal and was not carefully scrutinized to save money. Since then I have just eaten whatever was convenient, and now I'm in a relationship where we actually have long-term financial goals. So now I am starting to learn what can be healthy and filling for less money. Not too easy since he's particular about what he likes and was raised as a "clean your plate" type of guy. Last week I realized carne asa…
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/15 08:31 AM
2

Have you read "The Surrendered Wife"? I think it's one of the books on the sidebar. I'm not married to my SO yet, but I still found it very valuable in the concepts of trust and surrender. It's not always easy, but it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. Assuming you've picked a trustworthy guy, the more you trust him, the more he naturally strives to be worthy of your trust. It's a beautiful thing to watch unfold and I wish you all the best as you see it for yourself this year!
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/15 07:59 AM
2

I am sorry that this happened to you and I wish you all the best.
/r/RedPillWomen29/12/14 06:28 PM
2

She did join a monastery for a while as told in the book.
/r/RedPillWomen29/12/14 08:53 AM
1

The alternative to nagging, as I see it, is focusing on the positive. If you've picked a good man, he already wants to take care of his own life and do right by you. It's not always easy to do, but allow him to save face when he makes a mistake. He usually gets it, feels badly about it, and wants to do better. What you can do is, if he brings it up, ask if there's any way you can help. When I do this, my guy usually says, something along the lines of "no, what I really need to do is make sure I …
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/14 09:04 PM
1

Unfortunately it got worse and worse until we were toxic to each other and we split up. Thankfully I was able to acknowledge my part in it and work toward improving myself. It isn't an issue in my current LTR.
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/14 10:55 PM
9

This is so important. It feeds into the whole love/respect dynamic. If you don't respect your man's needs, he withdraws love. Sometimes, through, it happens the other way around. When I was married and my guy came home from work six hours late, played video games for two hours and then decided he wanted sex a few hours before I needed to get up for work, you better believe I resented it. He would keep waking me up until I assented, so I was able to tell myself I was doing my duty as a wife. But …
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/14 09:12 PM
1

For me personally, it's not something I am seeking to understand or explain on this forum. There is enough to absorb just about relationships between men and women. I would love to have a frank talk IRL with someone who is same-sex-attracted and learn what it's like as far as the leadership dynamic, but political correctness gets in the way. I have been attracted to women in the past, but that was more body image issues and feelings of alienation from men than a true orientation. The more femini…
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/14 01:06 PM
10

I think Hermione is a good example of what you are talking about. She at first is a know-it-all from having to prove her capability despite her lineage, but grows to use her knowledge with grace to support and encourage her friends, and learns to be vulnerable with those who are trustworthy.
/r/RedPillWomen17/11/14 07:22 AM
2

Taking responsibility is the only way I moved from the failures of my past into the happy relationship I have now. It simply must be done. The good news is that when you are the problem, the solution is in your hands!
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/14 08:58 PM
2

The way you were at 16 does not define your future. Keep reading, and be aware of your actions without judgment or condemnation, and your patterns will naturally adapt to what you learn. You may find it useful to have a few masculine skills in your arsenal (not necessarily on display) as you venture forth in your femininity. My boyfriend loves that I'm a girl through and through but can think logically like a man. It makes me a treasure in his eyes!
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/14 07:34 AM
5

I would say it's important to be open to evidence and not just believe by default what you're told or what your culture steeps you in. It's easy, in observing committed (adult) couples, to believe what they say about their relationship or what others say about it, rather than what you observe their actions to say. That's why we call this movement red pill, because it is (at least in western society) considered countercultural, and we see buying into it as opening one's eyes to what others refuse…
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/14 03:25 AM
1

I did. It didn't work out well for me, but that doesn't mean it can't work for you. Both of you have to be very intentional about growing as a couple as well as individuals for it to work. If one of you stagnates, you'll get bogged down in the drama of immaturity and the relationship will eventually fail.
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/14 03:28 AM
2

I'm turning 30 soon. Any tips?
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/14 12:53 AM
2

I tell him once, clearly, that I am concerned for him and would like him to consider cutting down or quitting altogether. I briefly tell him how it affects me, and I offer my support and assistance for any of his endeavors. Then I don't mention it again. But when a choice is delegated to me, I make decisions that steer things in the right direction. E.g. If I'm driving, I take the route that doesn't go by where he used to buy smokes unless he asks for it. Or if I'm cooking dinner, I make somethi…
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/14 10:59 PM
2

I am 29 and would love to have kids right away with my wonderful SO, but I am going to have to wait until at least age 31 before we even start trying (if I want to be primarily a SAHM, which I do) because he is still in school. He will be in school for four more years, actually, but will be eligible for better student loans for living assistance after two. It sucks and I am fully aware of the biological reality but was with a man in my earlier 20s who changed his mind on wanting kids after we go…
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/14 08:46 PM
1

Thanks ladies! I brought it up with him kindly and at a good time. He took it well and once I explained it to him he quickly realized the dynamic behind it. He did study pickup before we were together so he was able to refer back to that and understand. I will do a new post as a field report if anything interesting happens.
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/14 06:05 AM
1

Thanks for your input. I will probably be moving for work in the winter, and he wants to move there too. For religious and family reasons, we don't want to live together before marriage. But you might be onto something about not rushing into it. There's no reason we couldn't move to the same city and have separate accommodations for now. We are compatible on a lot of levels that I didn't mention in the thread because it wasn't pertinent to the problem. We already have a business together, go to …
/r/RedPillWomen30/08/14 11:22 PM
1

Friends for over a year, together 8 months. He has always been very conversation oriented and kind of a sensitive artistic soul, but at the same time he has drive and leadership and understands the natural differences between men and women.
/r/RedPillWomen30/08/14 02:59 AM
1

I am a Christian RPW. I've been dating my boyfriend for 8 months or so and we are planning on getting married in the coming winter. I see submission as an audition not only for me, but for him. I follow his lead and see where that takes me. Does he display the kind of qualities I want to follow for the rest of my life? Does he take my genuine needs into consideration at all times, and sometimes consider my preferences as well? Will he be a strong guide for our children? I can only answer those q…
/r/RedPillWomen26/08/14 02:11 AM
1

Actually I've been struggling in that area for a few weeks. He has encountered some income difficulties recently (I work full time and we don't share finances yet, though I am willing). He has been complaining to me and having a victim mentality instead of confidently moving forward with a solution. He is trying to find new income, but his efforts have been all over the place with a new idea every day. I try to be encouraging and avoid dispensing unwanted advice. I've been in his position and I …
/r/RedPillWomen26/08/14 01:31 AM
1

My guy gives me tons of compliments and defers to my judgment when I ask for advice. I don't know how to tell him what you just said. The thing is, he is giving me that which he wants for himself (and which I give him), not realizing it's interfering with the masculine and feminine roles. What's a girl to do?
/r/RedPillWomen25/08/14 02:30 PM
1

Home cooked food might be seen more as an act of service.
/r/RedPillWomen25/08/14 02:11 PM
1

I'm curious what you mean by this post. Would you consider starting a new thread to elaborate?
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/14 03:14 AM
1

You are missing the part where he acts like your man and you act like his woman. You guys might as well both be androgynous humanoids with no definable gender characteristics. Assuming you are straight, why are you straight? What is it about men that you find romantically or sexually desirable in contrast to women? Because when you have no gender roles, you completely neuter whatever gender-based attraction could have been present.
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/14 03:11 AM
1

In addition to working on your SMV, I would say to look for a man with potential. For instance, many girls might pass on a med student who lives with his parents, but maybe you can see past that to realize that he is a practical, hard-working, and family-oriented guy who in a few short years will be on his way to a promising career. If you get him now and treat him very well, he will continue to be loyal to you when his SMV shoots up.
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/14 02:57 AM
12

I have. Usually when it is dry and damaged, or limp or fluffy without the right products. I think waist-length is the longest that can be pretty on most women.
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/14 03:35 AM
1

Maybe I differ from some of he wonderful ladies here in this regard, but I think RPW theory is about the nature of men and women and is thus true for every couple (at least every straight couple) whether or not they choose to acknowledge it. Nevertheless, your advice on the matter is unlikely to be welcome or heeded unless it is asked for. That said, they could still have a healthy relationship if they are framing everything in a long-term perspective. But I would also imagine that the husband i…
/r/RedPillWomen13/08/14 03:01 AM
2

Right now I have a prestigious job where I have some degree of power, and my SO is struggling to find something other than his minimum wage part time position while he works through school towards a promising career. So I ease the burden of leadership by assuring him that I already see him as he wants himself to be and that I believe in him and his ability to reach his goals, and by asking him for advice and input as often as reasonably possible. He needs a space to feel like a leader and a cham…
/r/RedPillWomen13/08/14 02:54 AM
1

Going through that now at 29 after gaining 80 lbs in my mid-twenties. 30 down and plenty to go! I tell myself better now than when I'm pushing 40 :)
/r/RedPillWomen11/08/14 02:59 AM
5

Anecdotally, in communities with higher abortion rates, women seem to be angrier. Granted there are other factors that might pull this away from simple cause and effect, but interesting correlation nonetheless.
/r/RedPillWomen11/08/14 02:49 AM
1

You might've mentioned this in another thread so forgive my asking, but do you have or plan to have kids, and if so, would the dynamic change afterwards?
/r/RedPillWomen11/08/14 02:07 AM
1

Kind of. He believes the basic theories about men and women but believes in using game to attract a quality woman and then keep the relationship stable. He believes in men improving themselves and taking responsibility for their relationships. He thinks dread game is cruel emotional abuse and wouldn't use it. (Although, having been divorced from my ex when I got too out of line, I can dread game myself anyway with the knowledge that even a seemingly secure relationship isn't necessarily safe if …
/r/RedPillWomen11/08/14 02:01 AM
2

Great article! I would just say though that instead of filtering out disrespectful comments, it's better not to think them in the first place.
/r/RedPillWomen07/08/14 03:06 PM
1

I have the same problem but my BF is highly intuitive and curious so he will know I'm holding back and encourage me to let it out. Sometimes I'm able to say "I'm upset about XYZ but I know I just need to think through it and get over it." When I can't do that yet, I can be hurtful (even a mean look can do it since he understands so well) and I don't know how to stop that split second decision.
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/14 04:07 AM
12

Just last week I was pulled over on the side of the highway with a busted radiator, on the phone with my dad. Some goofus rolled by and hollered "I'll help you ... If you show me your pussy!" Remind me again why we as women who strive to better ourselves and devote ourselves to our high-quality men should tolerate this?
/r/RedPillWomen26/07/14 06:32 PM
3

Don't waste the pretty! If she wants to keep her job, she needs to find a man who does a job which can be done from home wherever she goes. Otherwise, to maximise the chances of finding a good and highly-motivated man, she needs to change her job so she can stay in one place for now. It's not clear whether either of these options might work with her current boyfriend.
/r/RedPillWomen25/07/14 12:50 AM
1

"I can't orgasm in the mornings" Do you have other rules or hang-ups like that? If it's too much like that, he might find it a bother to deal with on more than an occasional basis.
/r/RedPillWomen21/07/14 06:40 AM
2

Smoking weed makes a person just fine with the way things are, never having motivation to improve things. That could be a big part of your problem here. Is he otherwise attentive to problems that arise?
/r/RedPillWomen04/07/14 02:25 AM
2

If he drinks 6 beers a night and smokes weed as well, despite it having a negative impact on his life and health, he is an addict. I'm sorry you have to deal with this. I'm not really sure of how you would deal with addiction in an RP way because then you might be enabling the behavior. I would suggest going to an al-anon meeting if you can find one in your area. And maybe start focusing less on his behavior and more on what's going on in his inner life. I don't mean to be harsh but it sounds li…
/r/RedPillWomen04/07/14 01:22 AM
3

Today would have been my 10 year wedding anniversary. Thinking back on what went wrong in that relationship, and what is going right in my current relationship, I have to say this article is dead on. Thanks for posting!
/r/RedPillWomen27/06/14 02:21 AM
2

Extra padding here! I've lost about 30 lbs since I met my SO. I would like to lose about 50 more. He is on the thinner side, aiming to lose fat and build muscle. Over the last couple of months we've been hitting the gym together several times a week and he is always encouraging. He never makes me feel inadequate for my weight, but cheers me on for bettering myself and making healthy decisions. After all, we all have goals we want to achieve, and being in the process makes us better people. I wan…
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/14 08:24 PM
1

I am so sorry for your loss. Sending prayers and hugs your way.
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/14 08:13 PM
3

Upvote for quoting one of my favorite guilty pleasure movies!
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/14 06:21 PM
4

So we can tax them and indoctrinate their children!
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/14 05:31 PM
3

The thing about nagging is it doesn't even work! Even if he finally takes out the trash or whatever you've been on his case about, it doesn't make you happy or grateful. It just makes you think "well it's about time." And it doesn't give him any pleasure in accomplishing something or making you happy. When you nag and he still doesn't do it, it's even worse, because at that point it's so easy to take it personally. Contrast that with an attitude of thankfulness and respect for his self-determina…
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/14 11:21 PM
3

I learned it alongside other people IRL who were interested in exploring how warped gender roles contributed to the demise of former relationships. It was great having people to discuss it with at first. I also learned a lot from the Christian blogger April Cassidy, who has a blog and youtube channel called The Peaceful Wife. (This isn't a Christian sub, but a lot of the principles here coincide with the scriptural idea of the husband being the head and lovingly guiding the family's direction wh…
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/14 08:58 PM
1

In my state, an inheritance is not considered community property. It remains the separate property of the individual even if acquired during marriage. I imagine it's the same in other states.
/r/TheRedPill06/05/14 12:28 AM
2

Mine's not on Reddit that I know of and doesn't use the phrase "red pill," but he has read and watched some media on game. When we are out, we watch people and he points out the game tricks guys are using on girls :)
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/14 03:06 AM
6

In my last relationship, I had an unhealthy tit-for-tat expectation of how chores should be handled. What I'm learning now is that it's more important to do the best you can to fill your role well regardless of what he's doing. Not to say you shouldn't be appreciative of his hard physical labor, but just that there will be times when he's working on something and you're not (and vice versa), and that is okay as long as you are both fulfilling your roles on the whole.
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/14 09:28 PM
3

easy access Niiiice
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/14 08:53 PM
1

Dresses! I love dresses! At work, I mostly wear dress slacks with a blouse and medium heels. I also have a thing for pearls and wear various pearl necklaces or earrings a few times a week. I'm a size 16, losing weight gradually but that's no reason I can't dress attractively in the meantime. I don't spend lots of money at clothes, mostly buying stuff at Kohl's or on sale at Lane Bryant, but I look for quality pieces that flatter my figure and then try to keep them in good condition as long as po…
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/14 08:51 PM
1

I got some good advice on a similar thread a month ago and things are going great so far. Now he's telling me how I make his life better, and he appreciates my sweetness, and how he's lucky to have me. This stuff works!
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/14 08:40 PM
4

My guy has had so much crap happen to him in his life, so much betrayal and disappointment by people who were supposed to love and protect him, but it hasn't made him bitter at all, just stronger and wiser. He is very resilient, emotionally aware, and quick to take responsibility for his own contribution to a problem. Somehow he does this all while maintaining his frame as a strong leader of our business and our relationship. I am also impressed by his depth and willingness to learn. He is a lit…
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/14 02:03 AM
12

Tbh, height really does matter. But it matters less if you are otherwise in shape. A woman, esp an RP woman, wants to feel dainty and feminine around her man, which is difficult if her man is smaller than her. Thankfully, while a woman's SMV is highly correlated with her looks/fitness, that is only one of many factors when it comes to a man's SMV. My dad is shorter than my mom, and my mom was famous when they met. He got her by his confidence and humor, and it didn't hurt that he was good lookin…
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/14 01:51 AM
1

About two years.
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/14 04:07 AM
5

Well my ex encouraged my idea of cutting my hair. I went from waist length to pixie. He liked the newness of it at first, but since I had had beautiful hair before, it kinda backfired. He was too nice to say anything, but I know I was less attractive. Thankfully now it's past shoulder length again. One of my more articulate guy friends told me about a girl he dated who always did a different flattering makeup and hairstyle combination to highlight different aspects of her beauty. I thought that …
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/14 11:29 AM
1

My dad can be flighty and irresponsible, so my mom has a tendency to undermine his leadership. At the same time though, she is sweet and tends to be conflict avoidant, so he would say mean things and she would just put up with it. As a kid, she punished me for speaking up to my dad in her defense. I determined that when I grew up, I wouldn't take crap from anybody. I found a guy who was patient and loving but equally stubborn, and I married him at 20. A lot of things contributed to the demise of…
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/14 11:23 AM
2

(Mods, please feel free to correct me if this isn't properly RP advice.) As far as being late, never ever nag. It usually doesn't work, and even when it does, neither person is happy. If you want both of you to be happy, just take yourself out of the equation and allow him to be responsible for his own choices. So in this instance, you should take separate cars to the party so that you can be on time as is pleasing to you, and he can arrive when he wishes to. The way you do this is important tho…
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/14 05:08 AM
2

Whoa. This is amazing. Would give gold if I could :)
/r/RedPillWomen10/04/14 06:34 AM
1

True, I'm sure most people have guessed it already, especially my close friends. If we progress into more commitment, we'll go public and the church part won't be so much of an issue. But the concern voiced in my original post was whether, from an RP and not necessarily religious POV, I disincentivized public commitment by giving in too soon. Unless we were ready for marriage right away, what's the upside for him in labeling me his girlfriend? Know what I mean?
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/14 09:59 PM
1

I have considered stopping and am conflicted about it. If, as your username suggests, you are male, maybe you can tell me how that might affect the relationship. I can't imagine it would be beneficial. There are plenty of people at my church who agree on the main points of the faith but disagree over, say, limited atonement or literal creation or amillennialism. They are welcome there as members and volunteers but not invited to serve in a leadership position. I don't see how this is so differen…
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/14 09:51 PM
3

I am trained in a profession that values argumentative skill, and I love a rational debate, so this is taking some time to learn. But what I have found is that I listen so much better if I'm not formulating the next thing to say. And a man can sense disrespect, which is what he feels if you're not listening. So I listen. And ask questions to clarify and flesh out his position. Eventually, he will have finished making his point and he'll ask "So what do you think, am I right or wrong?" At that po…
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/14 08:23 PM
3

I was going to say that there is no such thing as "the one" and that you pick someone that meets your basic requirements and just make it work. But I'm glad I read through your comments first. The fact that he lacks drive and direction is worrisome, especially if that's important to you. There's a theory I like that says we humans have six basic psychological needs, and the ranking of those needs varies from person to person. http://bit.ly/1jrjWp0 Growth is one of these needs, and if he doesn't …
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/14 07:10 PM
3

Or maybe he needed a shower.
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/14 06:46 PM
1

Antioxidant cream to combat any UV-caused free radicals that make it through your sunscreen. Retinol promotes cell turnover, keeping both acne and wrinkles at bay (but it makes you more sun-sensitive, so up your SPF or only use it on nights when you won't be surfing the next day). Ceramides tell your skin cells to communicate with each other, promoting more evenness of tone. And I love washing with a mild cleanser on my Clarisonic. Keeps things exfoliated (so the other products sink into your sk…
/r/RedPillWomen07/04/14 09:15 PM
2

A RP man knows he needs to always make himself his #1 priority, and for the health of the relationship his RP woman supports that. I want you to be aware of this if you continue with this path: to him the business will be more important than the relationship, while to you the relationship will become more important than the business. This is only natural and it doesn't mean he is less committed to you, in fact he trusts the relationship so much that he's willing to risk putting the success of hi…
/r/RedPillWomen07/04/14 08:27 PM
1

Thank you! I do try to always maintain dressing well and wearing attractive but not overdone makeup. I do need to lose some weight though. Thankfully he is willing to take me to the gym and give me pointers! I could totally let the hamster run on that, but if he is attracted to me while helping me become more attractive, I think I got a pretty great deal :) Sometimes he's too reliant on my opinion for decisions. Before we did the deed, I was very opinionated about what we needed to do for our bu…
/r/RedPillWomen07/04/14 08:17 PM
1

Thanks for your insight, Tempest! I agree with the principle of holding out for exclusivity. I just messed up and jumped the gun here. Yes, I go out with his friends. But we kind of met through them so idk if that means much on its own. Most of our friends are mutual anyway, but I've met three of his friends from before he moved here. He doesn't ask me over at weird hours. We carpool a lot or I'm over at his place for work, and we also go to the gym together, and volunteer together, so it's more…
/r/RedPillWomen07/04/14 08:05 PM
4

Tl;dr Maybe not every man values an intelligent woman, but a highly intelligent man does. Edit: removed identifying info b/c I suspect the person I mentioned lurks here
/r/RedPillWomen07/04/14 07:52 PM
1

The flip side of this is that if you are an intelligent woman, it is that much harder to find a suitable man for LTR. Dating a man whose intelligence you don't respect will become toxic in the end.
/r/RedPillWomen07/04/14 07:46 PM
2

So true. Now I have to work on being the highest-quality woman I can be, so that he wants to buy this cow before someone else buys her and the supply of the best milk he's ever had is cut off. I feel weird referring to myself that way :P
/r/RedPillWomen07/04/14 03:57 AM
1

Thanks for bringing up doing things for him. Where is the line between 1) doing feminine tasks for him because I like helping him and being there for him and 2) emasculating him by usurping tasks he's perfectly capable of doing for himself? For instance, it used to be that if we were at his place and there were dirty dishes, I would set to work washing them while we caught up with each other. But he seems uncomfortable with that, so I'm backing off of it now.
/r/RedPillWomen07/04/14 03:54 AM
1

Thanks, Killa. We've discussed it, but it was a couple months ago, so I guess it will be time to check in again soon. The business is a side business. We've put a lot of time in, but not so much capital that we couldn't go our separate ways if we had to (not that I want that!). It does require a degree of collaboration that wouldn't work if we were at odds, though. Right now, it's my only source of income while I look for a full-time job, and I would want to continue it once I have a job. Althou…
/r/RedPillWomen07/04/14 03:47 AM
2

Just that the divorce wasn't final yet (though the marriage was over beyond a doubt). I could go into exegesis of the Greek term "porneia" that is used whenever the New Testament refers to sexual immorality, or the fact that the Old Testament sexual purity laws dealt with property rights of husbands and fathers and didn't have a specific directive for divorced women, but I think that is better saved for another sub. Point being, I have done my homework and respectfully disagree while not seeking…
/r/RedPillWomen07/04/14 03:29 AM
1

Both would be frowned on. But I have done my own study and differ from my denomination on those issues (obviously lol). Edit: When we started this, my divorce had been in process for 2 years but wasn't final due to financial tangles. Maybe that clears up why it would be frowned on.
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/14 02:47 PM
1

Because the recency of my divorce, it would be seen as inappropriate in my community. We go to the same church and all that. Good advice, thanks!
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/14 09:50 AM
1

We didn't exactly agree to be friends with benefits. We were friends who couldn't date yet because of social pressure, and sort of just fell into whatever this is. We never said feelings were out of bounds. It hasn't gotten to the "I love you" phase yet (because I'm gonna let him say it first if it comes to that), but he knows I like him a lot and think about him too much. I'm not hiding anything from him in that regard. It was about five months after meeting him, four months after starting the …
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/14 09:44 AM
1

I love this! As a plus-size woman working towards better health and a more feminine size, I found that applying this product to my inner thighs was very helpful in allowing me to wear skirts and dresses way more often: http://goldbond.com/friction-defense.html
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/14 08:41 AM
1

With testicles?
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/14 07:52 AM
3

At that height, 148 is overweight and 180 is obese. So her weight alone is not a health issue. OP, you may want to get your body fat tested at the gym. It just takes a minute and can be a much better indicator of progress than the scale alone. After all, if you weigh 137 but look like the girl in the picture here http://instagram.com/p/RnVdM6u6Fx/# (originally referenced by /u/ButterMyBiscuit) then you are doing great. Source: BMI charts. Also I am the same height and have 128 lbs of just lean b…
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/14 07:31 AM
1

I think gaming with an SO is a great way to build your sense of teamwork and reinforce the captain/first mate dynamic. In a single player campaign, he has the controller and you cheer him on and give helpful input when warranted. Fallout New Vegas was a good one for me and my ex (the reasons for out split were unrelated to gaming; if anything gaming together prolonged our relationship). We still play Portal 2 multiplayer sometimes because it's positive for both of us. Edit: autocorrect typo
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/14 12:29 AM
1

Makes sense, thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/14 12:15 AM
1

Can you distinguish for me the difference between validation and transactional sex? (Googling it didn't help, and didn't see any definitions at the link)
/r/RedPillWomen04/04/14 10:15 PM
1

I'm new to this sub. What do you mean by "hamster"?
/r/RedPillWomen04/04/14 05:38 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter