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hellocafe Archive

View 9 posts and 23 comments by hellocafe on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Sometimes that is what I think. I also think that I am lucky to breakup now and not further down the road, with a house or children. But unfortunately sometimes is is difficult to know beforehand how the person really is.
/r/MenSupportMen28/04/23 06:50 PM
2

Woah I am sorry for what you have had to go through man. I hope you are doing well. But indeed, the mixed feelings are really messing with me, which diminishes if I do not have updates from her or see her, so I can only imagine for you with all these years
/r/MenSupportMen26/04/23 05:04 PM
1

You said it right man, sometimes I have the feelings I indeed “escaped” and I would have hates my life. And this is dissonant with me remembering good memories, as well as her behaving this way. Honestly, this is the first time I am living this and this is messing with my mind.
/r/MenSupportMen26/04/23 04:57 PM
4

When I went there someone had already taken them. Will teach me about trust and leaving my things somewhere with someone unstable 😅
/r/MenSupportMen25/04/23 05:06 PM
6

THIS. Kind of similar to the “Women in TECH” ads. Rarely we see “Women in construction work!!”
/r/EverydayMisandry23/04/23 10:49 AM
2

Broke up with my ex because of a toxic relationship. Feeling awful because of course I miss her, but also feeling guilty and lonely. I have no support system other than a therapist. I hace a feeling that I deserve that because I was the one to break up. And since she seems to be doing great, I feel something might be wrong with me because well, I don’t know. I feel alone.
/r/MenSupportMen17/04/23 10:38 PM
19

Thanks a lot for this post which made me realize how my last girlfriend was not for me, as it contains 2 names my ex called me- calling me oppressive when I said I did not want an open relationship, and calling me a coward when I said I needed more time before we moved in together
/r/MenSupportMen13/04/23 04:54 PM
2

I just got mine back. Interestingly, she put all the photos I had printed of us for her as a gift and gave them back to me. It’s so sad because it gives the feeling the person has already moved on in so little time. But anyway, that is for the best I guess.
/r/MenSupportMen07/04/23 11:24 AM
3

Wow, that must have been quite difficult to deal with. At the same time, I guess you also needed support and that is why you headed out here. I mean if you were anonymous, the only thing she could blame would have been herself for being liar and manipulator (according to what you said). If it is not to indiscreet, how did you confront her to her misandry? Your second point was so true man. I had so many arguments with her around her misandrist vision of the world: “you all men think you can give…
/r/MenSupportMen06/04/23 10:51 PM
1

Exactly, and this hits super deep. In the end this has always been a problem with me. I always thought I had to do everything to make my girlfriend happy. When in reality happiness must come from within. Which makes me having a hard time setting boundaries, and in almost all my relationships being treated the same way. But the thing is, although I know I need to work on myself, why do people also behave like this? I mean, I would be happy if my gf looks after my happiness, and I am not seeing my…
/r/MenSupportMen06/04/23 08:38 PM
1

Totally. TBH you are totally right and I agree. I guess I also have to work on myself to not let her games reach me so that I am always second-guessing my breakup or feeling guilty and believing I am bad. When all the stuff will be handed back to her, I will truly be able to feel free.
/r/MenSupportMen06/04/23 05:41 PM
8

You are right and thank you for your message. Thanks as well for the resource you sent I can identify so much with some of the points and it helps a lot. As soon as she had called me a coward I unblocked her on whatsapp to arrange time to give her her stuff. And this is true she took advantage of that to bombard me of whatsapp messages and trying to undo the breakup by trying to discuss the reasons. So I blocked her again and now only communicate over email mainly for sending her stuff.
/r/MenSupportMen06/04/23 12:03 PM
2

Thank you for your answer, really helped me. Actually, she is making things a bit difficult (I could expect this a bit, as it happened twice in the past). I posted about it in this sub but long story short, she contacted me over email calling me coward and trying by any means to speak to me. In the past, she used to play word and mind games so that I would change my mind
/r/MenSupportMen05/04/23 09:11 PM
2

To be honest I am constantly switching between being sad af (I think because I liked the idealised version of her) and feeling free because I was not happy anyway…
/r/MenSupportMen05/04/23 01:30 PM
6

Thanks, yes, I broke up today. Feel very sad and guilty but it was the right choice.
/r/MenSupportMen03/04/23 06:47 PM
12

EDIT: ended breaking up today. While I feel so guilty, bad, having the impression to abandon her and so on… at the same time I feel relieved. Relieved because in any case I would be happier. Happier alone, or happier with someone who is more aligned with me and who respects my boundaries.
/r/MenSupportMen03/04/23 06:09 PM
8

So right, thanks for your comment, helped me a lot. In the end the problem has always been that she made me feel like I had a problem for having the boundaries that I had. But the thing is that no girlfriend ever told me that before, which means these “boundaries” don’t prevent me from having a sane and happy relationship. That makes me think it is not me having a problem, because I am who I am and I have boundaries and boundaries are to be respected.
/r/MenSupportMen03/04/23 08:46 AM
9

Actually you read my mind as soonas I breakup I plan to go travel because she lives 10 min away from me. I am not sure if I should be scared but I am.
/r/MenSupportMen03/04/23 08:43 AM
3

Thank you. I feel so sad and broken, because we broke up (I wrote an update in comments) but we had also some connection (obviously it would not have lasted 1 year), and we had plans. Hurts so much. I guess it is normal though
/r/MenSupportMen11/03/23 03:25 PM
8

Thank you for your comment, helped me a lot… really
/r/MenSupportMen11/03/23 03:21 PM
6

Update: thank you so much everyone for your comments. We broke up this morning. I feel so sad and bad because I love her. She said that we could work this out, she would go to therapy, that if I loved her enough I would try at least, that she sees herself raising children with me but the problem is that with these beliefs I do not want that… I fear we are going more and more toxic… but at the same time with our last conversation she made me feel that I was the one wanting her out and not trying …
/r/MenSupportMen11/03/23 03:19 PM
8

Thank you so much for your comment. The way she talks I have the feeling I am always wrong and I have a feeling I am losing a bit of myself everyday to avoid conflicts
/r/MenSupportMen11/03/23 12:28 PM
13

More context: - as I was saying she had bad experiences in the past - she places her views and ideology above everything, even above our relationship. I understand it is important for her but then we might not be compatible. - I feel my manliness is more and more judged. She questions everything I say and do and asks rhetoric questions such as “is this because you are a white male” It has become exhausting to even be myself.
/r/MenSupportMen11/03/23 10:41 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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