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hensbanex Archive

View 9 posts and 521 comments by hensbanex on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
904

NAH, SIShensbanex/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 11:19 AM
826

DISCUSSIONhensbanex/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 12:24 PM
341

NICE FOR WHAT?hensbanex/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 05:12 PM
307

NAH, SIShensbanex/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 10:05 PM
289

LESSON LEARNEDhensbanex/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 01:03 PM
271

STRATEGYhensbanex/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 03:20 AM
172

REMINDER 👑hensbanex/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 01:51 PM
111

PORN SICK, LIMP DICKhensbanex/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 03:10 PM
1

NAH, SIShensbanex/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 03:04 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
76

I didn’t tell the person it was my first time. it didn’t matter in the end and they never got the self satisfaction of knowing they “took” my virginity. also, it’s not that important for a partner to know you’re a virgin either so I would heavily suggest just not saying anything. He should be putting his best foot forward and making you comfortable, relaxed, and physically ready (talking lubrication here) before any sex occurs regardless of if you’re a virgin or not. also, know you can put your …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/22 06:30 PM
17

this is where I am. I have a rule of no single parents in my dating life. it just isn’t compatible with who I am and I don’t want to be triangulated with another woman or deal with exes or kids that aren’t mine.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/22 12:51 PM
251

Also, basic security/privacy. make sure your photos don’t show street names or identifying landmarks, post travel photos AFTER you’ve returned or moved on from that area, avoid checking into physical locations that are shared in real time on apps. keep your profiles private and with a far away photo or not a photo of you as the profile photo, unless you post truly harmless/anonymous content like food or pets or other kind of hobby.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/22 08:51 PM
4

I enjoy cooking and do it for my fiancé and I regularly - but I also only pay a small amount of the grocery bill - mostly to cover more specialty/expensive items that only I like or consume. if a grocery bill is $150, I’m not paying more than $50 and that’s pushing it, more often I kick in about $25-30
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/22 02:17 PM
12

not one single lie in this post. thank you for that breath of fresh air
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/22 12:45 PM
95

this happened to me too. my fiancé expressed discomfort at my “interest” in bdsm and said he could never do something that would cause me pain or harm and that it’s an instant turn off for him. it broke my brain too and I almost resented him a bit until I took some serious time to self reflect. I will forever be grateful for him doing that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/22 12:38 PM
53

I fully agree. it’s not a good sign that he doesn’t respect women who do give bjs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/22 12:51 PM
160

my fiancé is very quiet, to the point that when we started dating some of our friends genuinely asked me “do you guys talk?” as soon as he realized I was interested back in him, he began texting me and being responsive. he sends emojis and just says hi when I’m out or we aren’t together. by all accounts he should be a “terrible texter” but he isn’t because he values communication with me. if we wanted to, he would.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/22 02:21 PM
49

I now realize some of the quickest people to view my stories or posts on social media were haters. it’s wild.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/22 02:03 PM
47

same! I need more soft spoken real advice about dating!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/22 02:07 PM
83

I used to be involved in the scene (check my post history if you’re curious) and I can confirm that. even myself, I was very mentally i’ll and had not started any kind of level up journey when I was in that scene.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/22 06:41 PM
5

fully agree.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/22 06:30 PM
6

reaux was showing more stigma toward mental illness than lilith was in my opinion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/22 06:29 PM
6

why can’t she use a shortened term to describe the group of manipulative and toxic behaviors she is referring to? is the issue tone or the word itself which isn’t exclusively clinical? I challenge you to explore why you’re so averse to using accurate or specific language. it’s not inherently pathologizing anything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/22 06:28 PM
3

I appreciate reaux’s balance but I also think someone can have mental health issues that are then further aggravated by someone else’s manipulative behavior. I think it’s equally as likely the op developed a lot of those symptoms while under the influence of that guy, who objectively is not the best person with a great track record by his own admission. I definitely feel as though reaux’s position was possibly biased just as liliths was; a woman can self harm or be mentally ill but also relative…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/22 06:27 PM
511

I will gladly be the screeching harpy goblin of your nightmares if you try to take my wasted friend anywhere but to my car.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 01:05 AM
29

I use psychedelics in my religious practices, once every few years as a spiritual undertaking. I don’t think the substance itself is a problem but how it’s used. casual psychedelic use says to me that the person doesn’t really understand what they are doing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/22 01:24 PM
26

this was written by a male so of course he doesn’t understand the terror that comes with cat calling. this person probably sees it as validating or empowering. sick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/22 01:20 PM
11

agreed; there is definitely some toxicity but I often doubt mens stories; there are some details that don’t really add up, like his kids being in college yet he presents them as being younger than they are in the story. hard to tell if it’s just her being burnt out from a 20 year dud relationship or if she has always been this way (in which case, def narc).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/22 09:14 PM
9

insect spray especially heavy duty is very painful to get in the eyes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/22 05:15 PM
1

they’re just intimidated by women in general. I do not present femininely, have short hair and do not wear makeup and also get called “intimidating.” when women can do two opposite things and still get called the same thing - I think it’s a misogyny problem lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/22 09:34 PM
34

I like the way you explained this, even though I disagree, mostly because I personally do engage in that behavior myself (sans p0rn) despite being in a committed relationship - schedules don’t always align; sometimes people are tired, etc, so for me it’s a good way to “scratch an itch” for myself when my fiancé is not available or in the mood. but it definitely dropped dramatically in the frequency between now and when I was single. if someone is masturbating regularly/every day in a committed r…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/22 01:47 PM
19

i am begging you to learn about your own body please
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/22 03:14 PM
16

comment on the podcast discussion here!! always love to hear what women think after they listen; I want to do that myself more regularly so those posts become discussions
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/22 02:13 PM
156

I’m ambivalent since I agree with other commenters that it’s usually coming from a place of self objectification or exhibitionism but I don’t believe that bras should be required or compulsory and I don’t wear one, so I’m not sure. but I also have forgone shaving and makeup (the latter except for professional requirements), so I guess it comes down to overall principles. the “free the nipple” movement is probably just libfem pandering for the most part & is devoid of valid criticisms of bras/oth…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/22 09:41 PM
4

I see what you mean and I agree on those fronts. there’s also the fact that truly personality disordered men tend to get worse with therapy because they weaponize the terms they learn and just use it to better manipulate people. it’s definitely a mixed bag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/22 12:51 AM
2

I think pretending to have a serious mental illness is definitely a decent indicator of having one; chronic attention seeking behavior involving self destructive tendencies is a hallmark of bpd and hpd. Anyone who would wish for a mental illness is mentally ill; I can’t even understand why anyone would want symptoms of something so severe it interferes with your life. but I agree i’ve seen people doing it - teens on tiktok thinking they have severe psychotic illnesses because they watched too ma…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/22 12:49 AM
21

I think they get off on it to be honest. they’d never fuck one of their bros but doing this is the closest they’ll get to one another sexually. it’s…weird. I had this guy who was clearly in love with my straight fiancé try to hit on me and get me to sleep with him but it’s was so obvious it was just to get closer to my fiancé. men are creeps even to each other
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/22 04:57 PM
5

this comment is very valuable
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/22 04:45 PM
5

some of them are self aware. I met criteria for NPD and ASPD and after almost a decade of still ongoing therapy, I no longer meet symptom criteria. it’s rare but they can be self aware. recovery on the other hand is EXTREMELY rare as it requires a ton of constant and never ending work to challenge your perceptions and control your behavior. most people who have personality disorders know something is different or “off” about them. self awareness doesn’t mean anything on its own though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/22 04:44 PM
21

we can and should be able to describe these men as having symptoms of pathology/dysfunction. this “don’t diagnose” nonsense is just another way to keep women from naming things men have done to them. I am skeptical of psychiatry as a field too, but I think some of the constructs such as the antisocial and narcissistic personality constructs are useful for describing a pattern of interpersonally destructive behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/22 04:42 PM
26

society and porn and the misogyny baked into both… children are impressionable and will absorb what is taught, even male children
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 04:51 PM
25

it’s not shamey to critically examine sexist standards of appearance or unethical buying habits
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 04:37 PM
102

too much work for not enough reward. male friendships are almost always unbalanced in terms of how much work women put in vs men. I don’t want a pack of orbiters even if they are “nice” to me. i’d rather curate friendships with women which are long lasting and don’t have any element of creepiness or unwanted attraction. trust me, i’ve had only male friends before and it works nothing like this post describes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 04:28 PM
53

if a man so much as raises his voice at me, I’m out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/22 02:46 PM
101

no i totally agree with you and think you’re right. there’s also a part where a young girl describes being groomed and then r8ped by her teacher in a self empowerment kind of way, which could be excused by “unrealiable narrator” but I think it’s sort of inexcusable to portray that situation as anything other than a pedophile trying to target a teen child.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/22 02:06 PM
40

ugh especially the Sensitive Bois who act like armchair psychologists and just project onto you for an entire conversation. like you don’t know me, stop trying to tell me how I feel
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 12:50 AM
132

scrotes are so incestuous - I was intuitively turned off by the mommy thing but when you reverse it like you did it shows how disgusting & pathological they are for wanting a mommy bang maid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 02:09 PM
38

having hv traits doesn’t make a man hv; a low value man can have some decent traits but overall be low value or not respectful of women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/22 05:17 PM
9

no I think many shitty men do have personality disorders it’s just that we are actively discouraged from saying so even when it’s evident and in our faces like with musk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 04:37 PM
11

npd is the extreme end of the spectrum of narc traits, which we absolutely need to learn and identify as “randoms” since these traits wreak havoc on those who have them and the people around them. narcissism and asd can be comorbid. musk is a raging narcissist with serious issues; it’s weird silencing to say we shouldn’t point that out. it’s observable. it also doesn’t give them a pass for the behavior; it names it so we can name it as well. this is my opinion as a therapist- people should be en…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 04:35 PM
54

she stated she is an independent contractor now so the rates she’s mentioned don’t seem impossible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/22 01:33 PM
92

I’m happy for you but this could also be future faking depending on how long you’ve been together. I would hold him to that and don’t read too far into promises made without results or proof of results. happy for you, just also wanted to say this since i’ve heard this type of talk from a narc loser who turned out to be watching porn half the time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/22 01:18 PM
6

if someone keeps brushing me I take a deliberate step far back, face them, and say woah there give me a little space; you’re right on top of me and I don’t like that. even if it’s “accidental” touching, being that close that you can “accidentally” brush against me is a choice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/22 12:50 PM
51

no there isn’t really; any postings like that get taken down for bigotry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 12:08 PM
14

that’s why she specified submissive feminine energy, implying that there is an aspect of feminine energy that is not submissive or that feminine energy is anything but submissive…if it were inherently submissive she would not have added that qualifier
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/22 07:16 PM
91

that’s a….bizarre reaction from your uncle, completely justifying and proving your right about not wanting to be touched by him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/22 03:27 PM
37

I broke up with a loser and dropped toxic friends. got a promotion, went on my first ever vacation, dropped the concept of polyamory, and am now in a loving monogamous relationship with a thus-far HVM who is the first person I’ve ever considered marriage with (he actually kickstarted the process of me stepping away from that lifestyle by expressing how he only ever wanted monogamy with me…made me realize I was valued and could be “enough” for one person).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/22 03:21 PM
34

I wouldn’t give a man the benefit of the doubt, ever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/22 03:17 PM
71

nah old school bdsm communities were a hotbed of abusers. the community by design allows abusers and predators to blend in for the most part. I’m happy you acknowledge how messed up it is that the bdsm crowd tries to piggyback off of the gay and lesbian community as if they’re an oppressed group or legitimate sexual orientation
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/22 06:57 PM
80

I love chocolate but if a place has a good old fashioned vanilla bourbon or french vanilla I’m getting it. vanilla is classic for a reason
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/22 06:54 PM
7

happy birthday fellow capricorn! it’s my birthday today too!! hope you enjoy it!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/22 06:52 PM
19

men only want to be feminine by wearing different clothes or nail polish, never by taking on the lions share of house chores or emotional labor 🧐
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/22 03:43 PM
31

the sex is not worth it if you settle. there are non pornsick men out there and even if you don’t find one, investing in a toy or two is much easier and more rewarding than lowering your standards and letting some scrote use your body to masturbate while you try to trick yourself into thinking you are enjoying it. ask me how I know 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/22 03:05 PM
1

right, again, no asspats anywhere in sight. stated facts. go be argumentative with an actual male or someone who disagrees with you and stop picking at me for stating a simple fact acting like i’m on his d*ck. relax, you’re reading way too far into my comment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/22 12:48 PM
1

where? I stated facts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/22 02:52 AM
109

I know someone who did this and she is very happy with her new daughter! it definitely is a growing trend. I’m cf myself but I’m sure there are communities out there for aspiring single mothers-by-choice. best of luck!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/22 03:24 PM
1

good for you lol!! I wish you the best!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/22 03:18 PM
51

no lol he literally spearheaded the initiative to write more articles about women to close the gap. he edits articles, doesn’t write them, but has spoken out about this himself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/22 01:45 PM
32

my fiancé rarely uses his social media - his facebook is basically dead, doesn’t have anything else except a reddit account which he uses to ask hardware/tech related questions when he needs to (he has no other reddit accounts & i’ve subtly confirmed this). I wouldn’t be able to deal with a man who was addicted to scrolling on any platform, especially reddit - the only reason by fiancé has an account is because I suggested it to him when he couldn’t figure out something for a mod he was trying t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/22 01:18 PM
7

neckbeard style of speaking; why do they all sound exactly the same? insufferable; like they are 16 and just found a thesaurus, trying to sound like a supervillain lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/21 01:26 AM
7

my younger brother was raised by all women and my mom who was single her whole life after leaving my father. he is definitely more emotionally intelligent and sensitive than the average scrote, and he has healthy boundaries with our mom and myself. he provides even at 18 with a job and is always trying to better himself and ensure he can help my mom when needed. I think OP’s list is a good checklist of things to watch out for if a guy has only a mom in his life but it’s not a red flag in itself …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/21 01:58 PM
12

ZVM is zero value male
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/21 01:38 PM
146

more like she’s a narcissist and probably imagined the interaction as flirtation, and literally views herself as a main character in a sitcom. the empathy mining is there too in her edit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/21 07:11 PM
11

thank you for pointing out exactly what bothered me about the reboot! they changed the whole narrative of what the comics were, which is peter being the unpopular science nerd in love with the girl next door feminine goddess who falls for spider man, not him, and then accepts him once she learns the truth. much different than the new films.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/21 04:38 PM
2

I think that’s what this post is attempting; the 1k for nipple pics isn’t realistic and if op is a real woman she is probably trying to cash in on “referrals” because OF is a pyramid scheme
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/21 01:35 PM
23

this is it right here. my ex was exactly like the guy described by OP. It was a nightmare and I lost all attraction to him bc he was a manchild looking for mommy, and I am no ones mother.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/21 01:34 PM
3

I used to be a not-like-other-girls-one-of-the-guys idiots when I was younger, with tons of guy friends and no female ones (because my male friends were creeps but that’s a whole other post). none of those men save two (current fiancé and one friend I have known since childhood) are still in my life. they all slowly revealed over time they wanted to sleep with me, or had built me up in their heads and were in love with some idea of me, which they got angry when I didn’t conform to it. men are no…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/21 01:26 PM
115

why do they all do this. my ex always talked about therapy like it was the same as going ☠️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 06:59 PM
71

your last point is key - these men aren’t earning in the bracket that would allow them to do all that and hire a cleaner - they’re just lazy and disrespecting the wife by phoning it in and throwing money he doesn’t really have at a problem a little bit of elbow grease could solve
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 03:05 PM
50

I got a promotion so to celebrate I splurged and got myself a really nice michael kors bag, two handmade necklaces from one of my favorite female owned small businesses, and some items I was putting off purchasing - a nice winter jacket and some new undergarments from a sustainable local brand 🔥 also getting to host my mom and (HV in training) younger brother for the holiday! holidays are much less stressful with my fiancé who helps manage the kitchen and splits the holiday cooking with me!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 09:19 PM
6

this happened to me too when I had to live with my ex for a time after breaking up! he suddenly became mr homemaker and everything I had to hound him to do he did…..until he realized I had no plans of getting back with him, then it all promptly stopped. and you’re right, instant disgust and repulsion. they are so transparent. edit: happy cake day!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 05:40 PM
15

it means to be attracted to violent men/criminal or murderers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/21 02:42 PM
41

agreed. I have a collection of sex toys that are only for my pleasure (large dildos or weirdly shaped insertables) and the way my fiancé interacts with me when he uses them with me is incredible- he is caring, attuned to my reactions, communicative, and genuinely enjoys making me feel as good as possible. if a dude negs you about your collection (or the size of your toys), he’s insecure and will be bad in bed. If he introduces the idea of toys to early or seems to want to use your body as though…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/21 02:42 AM
45

this sounds like a massive waste of your time and energy. scrotes feed on any attention whatsoever, positive or negative, so I don’t think it’s wise to ever reconnect for any reason. however this makes for a pretty funny field report so i’m kind of happy you had some time to waste lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/21 01:50 PM
15

just watched this!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/21 04:58 AM
4

this comment physically injured me I think you channeled my ex 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/21 04:01 PM
11

it’s honestly crazy that some women genuinely get threatened when people suggest finding a man shouldn’t be your main be all end all goal in life and that’s not even what you said op, you said it can be a goal but don’t have your happiness tied up into finding a man. I would encourage this commenter to do some self reflection and see why self actualization as a woman is such a threatening concept
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/21 03:58 PM
32

the person above is talking about narc traits. there’s a movement now to acknowledge subclinical narc traits as being on a sliding scale ending in NPD, and that NPD is an extreme version of narcissism. I personally have mixed feelings about this theory and feel like a lot of it is either fear mongering without any concrete stats combined with the “kids these days and their insta and their selfies” syndrome.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/21 03:51 PM
18

every time someone posts this there are some ill intentioned users who try and shout down OP and say it’s a real sexuality and tell them to basically shut up, which is appalling to me. some people may think so and identify with it and that’s fine, but you’re being willfully ignorant if you don’t look at the origins of these “sexualities” and the purpose they serve now, which is to “other” women who don’t buy into casual sex. every time someone yells about demi sexuality I’m MORE convinced it’s j…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/21 03:39 PM
20

no liking dogs is the same as having a domestic abuse history? lol ok…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/21 03:34 PM
16

I would try to have some sympathy for the human woman in a relationship with an abusive man instead of calling her a pickme because she said something you didn’t like.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/21 03:33 PM
18

nah some people just don’t like dogs. I find them disgusting and unsanitary but I don’t hate them. I get angry at their owners who can be careless at times and who encourage bad behaviors. it’s ok to not like dogs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/21 03:32 PM
48

i’ve also seen people calling men medium value. ladies, medium value doesn’t exist. it’s low value if he has any LV traits. this isn’t mix and match; you can’t use the good traits to justify the bad; you’re doing yourself a disservice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/21 03:24 PM
66

I have accidentally glanced at a woman’s chest if she is wearing something low cut but I try to correct myself as soon as possible. i’ve seen other women do it to me as well, and it seriously doesn’t have the lingering creep vibe. honestly, as a wlw, even when a woman is visibly checking me out, it’s not creepy or predatory. they just don’t do that predator/pornfried stare that men do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/21 12:36 PM
2

grey rock is going to be your friend with him. don’t give him anything to work with - there are a lot of good online guides to grey rocking that are great resources. I wish I had known about grey rock method when I was living with LV family members, your dad reminds me of my LV uncle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/21 05:27 PM
59

I’m so grateful I am never having children. you can do the best job raising them but society is always going to treat them like this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/21 04:51 PM
25

sex strike!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/21 12:50 PM
9

how did you write it exactly like the song lol; gotta go listen now
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/21 11:38 AM
32

sounds like you have some feelings for him, latent or not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/21 11:19 AM
37

yeah but the quote is a great reminder for women in every other aspect of their lives aside from career. we don’t spend all our time at work, so I like that it’s saying don’t feel pressured to look presentable at all times - you should be able to go out to brunch or go shopping without agonizing over your eyebrows or eyeliner. I used to wear makeup every day for work and it was ruining my skin, aging it and creating fine lines and making my eye bags much worse. on top of that, I felt I HAD to be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/21 12:46 PM
17

same here; I have an advanced degree and I hate dating men with degrees especially ones in my field. my favorite type of man to date is one who is very passionate about skill-based hobbies, self teaching, or is in a trade. HVM in that category can respect your intelligence without feeling threatened, and can carry a conversation about either my interests or his own.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/21 03:48 AM
87

it depends. lots of men who are virgins watch a lot of porn, but my fiancé was a virgin at 21 when we met and wasn’t porn addicted, and the learning curve for sex isn’t really that terrible, and generally won’t be if the person has basic people-reading skills. most of good sex is being communicative and being able to pick up on what someone likes/their body language. I remember I was surprised that he was a virgin when he kissed me since he didn’t seem clumsy or bad at kissing, which is a good v…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/21 02:56 PM
17

I have walked out of appointments with male techs or doctors who made me uncomfortable and filed a Quality of Care complaint with my insurance company. I now call in advance and ensure I am scheduled with a female doctor and female techs. I’m so sorry this guy was a weird creep.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/21 12:56 PM
166

this is actually so funny; I’m sure the irony is totally lost on her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/21 12:52 PM
12

my ex has a lot of these red flags. the last “date” we went on before I dumped him, we took a bus. he didn’t sit next to me, rather a few seats away, and spent the entire bus ride “subtly” ogling this poor woman who was so uncomfortable she ended up looking over at ME as if to be like “do u see this creep?” he actually missed our stop bc he was staring at her so hard. I was never more embarrassed or angry and thus, broke up with him that very weekend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 03:18 PM
27

this was so great, women are so funny
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 01:30 PM
37

that’s even worse. if a friend told me a man did that to them we would be on our way to the police station instantly!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 01:05 PM
42

are you saying women only talk about makeup and fashion trends lol?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 12:52 PM
2

idk what that is. I think things involving real live people involve a degree of dehumanization that I’m not comfortable with - disembodied voices included I suppose.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 01:08 AM
34

I don’t have any ethical hang ups with written erotica, but anything on film for me personally is a no go due to the other inherent risk that what you’re watching is in some way coerced or non consensual, even if that means the woman who posted the video no longer wants it up but can’t remove it due to the internet being what it is. I feel like written stories engage the imagination and as long as they don’t contain abusive themes can be fine!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/21 08:18 PM
57

on and off? for 3 years? immediate weird gaslighting? even if she isn’t doing well he’s definitely doing the LV slide-in now that she’s “available” since her fiancé died. drop him!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/21 08:14 PM
53

my mom had this conversation with me as a child. she was not dramatic but she was totally honest and explained basically how men use the internet to prey on or take advantage of young girls and boys and to never share your age or get too close to anyone you have never seen in person before. she talked about trafficking rings and pedos and meetups that ended in murder. it terrified me but I was never a victim of online grooming and I am so so grateful she sat me down and said all that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/21 12:34 PM
333

my life changed when I started evaluating relationships in concrete terms of “does he and how does he add value to my life?”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/21 12:27 PM
84

handbook worthy post. I wish my younger self had read this, would have saved me a ton of grief.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/21 12:26 PM
21

there is power in pussy, in having the ability to literally create and nurture and give birth to life is powerful (I am sterile and cf but even I think that’s cool).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/21 07:04 PM
19

women-loving women
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 02:12 PM
35

come see our sister sub, female level up strategy - there are lots of posts about loneliness and hobbies and such. what you’re feeling is totally normal!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 07:40 PM
11

mothers do with sons… it’s the toxic mother who views the gf as competition and becomes hostile or aggressive; internalized misogyny. I get the point you’re making, but I still think it’s both. mostly what you said, but there are men who haven’t tainted their protective nature with possessiveness, hence HVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 05:02 AM
23

I think you are both right. it’s a combination.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/21 10:46 PM
11

i’d love to see your post about it! i’ve been suckered by a couple guys like that (my ex being one of them) & while I know now not to engage, it’s hard to turn off the empathy reaction when someone seemingly is being vulnerable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 06:40 PM
48

the comment above includes a take that implies all big dogs are male or have masculine energy so this comment is being sarcastic and saying if all big dogs are male they must reproduce asexually
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 02:23 PM
35

this is another great term we need to add to the FDS vernacular
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 01:58 PM
31

I game too and all the other women I know who game simply enjoy it as a hobby or life interest and have an entire full personality beyond the games they play. plus, we all smell good 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 09:51 PM
104

negative orgasm: it’s when the sex is so bad it turns you off sex or even masturbation for a few days bc the disgust reaction is too strong
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 05:57 PM
30

my ex tried to do this to me, and it still makes me angry like how are you the victim when you made the choices to go meet someone and cheat on me? lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 01:29 PM
273

consider surgical sterilization if you know you don’t want children! my heart is breaking as our rights keep getting rolled back, especially for vulnerable, poor, and young women, but I can’t explain to you all the peace of mind my surgery gave me. no matter what, my body will always be mine alone and can never bear children, which is a relief for me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/21 10:11 PM
34

I don’t think your needs are unrealistic, they’re necessary. and I think looking for the right person who will respect your needs is definitely a good priority!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/21 05:49 PM
142

I don’t think you’re ready to be out there dating yet, which 100% isn’t a bad thing. That’s hugely traumatic and it will definitely take a ton of time to work through it and heal. I’m so sorry that happened to you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/21 05:05 PM
21

I also got banned from the feminism subs for literally no reason except my posts here
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/21 01:46 PM
108

I can’t wait for the podcast post about this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 02:46 PM
25

same here! I got some pets and some houseplants, now I don’t have to waste my nurturing on a man who will use it against me later lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 01:14 PM
48

do we all have this same dude leeching off our acquaintance circles? because I know him too
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 01:12 PM
203

this is embarrassing; concrete is better lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 01:09 PM
19

I definitely would try to stop apologizing especially when you didn’t do anything wrong! Good riddance honestly, next!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/21 03:25 PM
23

my grandmother used to talk to her plants and now I do too. i’ve lost very few since I started my hobby; I think they like gentle encouragement
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/21 01:05 PM
27

she doesn’t have to send it, just write a response and burn both!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/21 04:54 AM
29

congratulations on your business and new found clarity and freedom!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/21 09:23 PM
12

I love that she doesn’t limit it to people with the disorder either and acknowledges the degrees of narcissism
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/21 05:54 PM
38

thank you, the title wording confused me, english is not my first language and I do not know spanish!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 03:52 PM
-15

are you saying these are good lessons? this is just repackaged conservative purity rhetoric.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 03:26 PM
20

yeah I’m always honest with women. I have heard of some women who won’t date bi women, and even though in the moment it makes me sad, I get it. i’ve been targeted for threesomes as well and it’s not fun, it feels violating, predatory, and cheap.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 01:31 PM
22

what a baby; he can finish himself off. and he’s clearly going through the motions so that he can get off which is the whole reason why she is doing this. I hate men like this; they’re so entitled and selfish they don’t even understand the problem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 01:27 PM
317

I hate when women pander to men with this faux feminist sex crap.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 01:23 PM
82

what a lovely, balanced, healthy seeming couple. these are great rules and I don’t see any connection to any religion at all; it’s just normal standards of monogamy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 12:25 PM
327

I honestly have no clue where he got that from; I don’t think he realized they were tear ducts and a universal human feature, what a dumb weirdo haha!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 12:23 PM
1491

he was really reaching for something to justify you rejecting him in his mind lol and clearly couldn’t come up with anything real
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 12:15 PM
17

I haven’t experienced and direct fetishization by partners but I have felt objectified and pressured in social settings like parties or large groups (I am bisexual).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/21 09:00 PM
12

I agree; I think half of this might be true; she didn’t know what korean bbq was. I personally wouldn’t want to cook my own food like that on a first date and he should have taken that responsibility anyway since he suggested the place. the rest sounds like fan fiction (and then everyone stood up and clapped) - he probably told himself she was racist bc she didn’t like the restaurant and didn’t sleep with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/21 01:49 PM
10

he called himself a past “violator” this man is straight up dangerous
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/21 04:14 PM
146

it’s crazy how much they resent us and make their failures women’s problem instead of just taking responsibility for even one thing in their lives lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/21 01:18 PM
138

I used to think I was freakishly clean or a control freak before I met my fiancé like my ex was exactly as you described in the post and gave me so much whining about how much of a “perfectionist” I was because I wanted a clean bathroom and think you should deep clean each room at least once a month in addition to weekly light cleans and daily tidy ups. I now know I’m normal and my fiancé and I enjoy a clean, comfortable space which we work together to keep that way. the only time I have to say …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/21 04:44 AM
74

one of those guys has his kid in his profile pic which isn’t something you normally see; scrotes always try to hide their families on social media so when a guy has family photos all over his account it’s a bit of a surprise
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 08:33 PM
1

I agree. after reading the subreddit for q anon family members I don’t think it’s too far off to be concerned about your partners critical thinking skills and suggestibility. it really tore apart families.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 07:42 PM
349

also, tangential add ons from my experience: men who only listen to women or female celebrities when they are shitting on other women (i.e. he only promotes girl hate among women & sees our discussions as cat fights) men who whine about their mental health but won’t get therapy because “reasons” men who can only say “what do you mean” in response to well voiced concerns men with the porn dead eyes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 01:30 PM
67

nah these men are all over twitter en masse
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 01:27 PM
527

my fiancé would have beat him straight out of the house and then called that company to have him fired and this man gives him coffee?!?!!?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 01:25 PM
25

I made this mistake with my ex because we had to live together for a while post breakup so he could pay me for breaking the lease (clown behavior I know), and he started getting really weird and petty. Not answering messages about house stuff, refusing to give me info about when things were due, etc. Once I tried to directly ask him why he thought it was appropriate to be rude and ignore me about vital things, and he said he didn’t. right then I knew he wasn’t stupid, just a pathetic manipulator…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 12:49 PM
13

love how every gross person conflates watching p*rn to masturbating as if it’s impossible to do so without it. how pathetic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 12:18 PM
6

this is a great poem, i love this version; thank you for sharing it!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 04:27 PM
107

this is a low value trait all around; making assumptions about others that don’t make logical sense. people need to fit you (and everything else) into their very narrow, black/white view of the world. people who refuse to see you as an individual or those who can’t appreciate nuances are immature in their mindset at best and can actively damage your reputation and self esteem at worst imo. great post!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 02:55 PM
3

I dont use OLD because I am very private and don’t like putting photos out on the internet but honestly it’s like why wouldn’t you use OLD if you’re actively dating? even passively? like yes there’s more lvm but there are some hvm and you have to try to find them…if you have the time and the desire it’s a solid strategy as long as you vet and are realistic about expectations.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 01:13 PM
20

there’s a jewish tale about a man who wants a woman and claims he is dying because she won’t get with him. his doctor backs him up and tries to go to the rabbi and get him to get the woman to at least touch him, or at least be in the same room with him, or else he would die. and the rabbi just says “then he will die; she does not wish to see him.” one of my favorites and this comment made me think of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 12:58 PM
5

lots of internalized misogyny there - women aren’t a monolith which was my entire point, and setting it up as a me vs them mentality is reducing “other girls” to something one dimensional and shallow. which to me is just girl hate repackaged. many women do well in school, like stem, or wait to have sex. I dislike the weird smugness in the comment while continuing to do the “I’m not like other girls” schtick; it’s a little immature and hypocritical.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 12:17 PM
231

absolutely!! my fiancé and I have a dynamic similar to this and it truly changed my life - and he loves it too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 03:58 AM
5

I never said that; just giving her the benefit of the doubt in some respects. didn’t say anything about her being HV at all actually.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 12:16 AM
14

I do disagree with her lateness and not acknowledging it at all; I just tend to be more forgiving of women in stories told by men; they exaggerate. I don’t drink and I don’t really know how many drinks is normal especially over 5/6 hours; I have heard it depends on a lot of things so I have no clue about that haha.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 06:49 PM
43

I don’t disagree; I just tend to be more forgiving to women when men are telling the story!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 05:07 PM
72

is he justified though, really? if it’s a busy restaurant why didn’t he make reservations? why did he have to rush to get the last table? not making reservations makes it very casual and I’m not surprised she didn’t arrive at 7 on the dot especially with parking. if he had made reservations and provided a precise time indicating those reservations, she probably would have shown up closer to the meeting time imo, and was treating it as casually as he was by not planning enough to make a reservati…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 03:57 PM
47

the bill was over $100 at a relatively nice restaurant in what I assume is a city based on parking. his idea of an “expensive” drink is like $14-$16 which is normal for an urban area…. if they both ordered two rounds, plus food, that’s already 60-80, so she ordered what, two or three more drinks over that amount of time? he’s exaggerating imo and being over dramatic to make her seem especially terrible. the numbers don’t match. the only thing he has is lateness, and even then he didn’t make rese…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 03:51 PM
4

research? sure 100%. advocacy & “inclusivity”? absolutely not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 02:44 PM
15

in your studies I would research crowleys life so you know what a POS he is before you study thelema. it can seem like a cool refreshing idea but the guy who made it basically did so in order to be a massive creep with impunity. best of luck; I’m a pagan and we aren’t all bad, and there are many woman-centered practices within it - just beware the “evolved” left hand path dudes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 02:32 PM
11

you still feel the need to set yourself apart from other girls, do you look down on them? do you let your past treatment color how you treat traditionally feminine women? no one is attacking anyone in this post, they are criticizing women who have standards so low they let men do whatever they want, pretend to like hobbies they don’t truly like just for approval, and throw other women under the bus for being “hard to get along with” or being “high maintenance.” you are just like other girls. the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 01:57 PM
15

the opposite is true too. I am extremely nervous around dogs especially large or high energy ones because I didn’t grow up with them and have had a few bad experiences with random peoples dogs off leash (wtf). i don’t dislike them and have met some very sweet low energy or timid ones whose company i enjoyed. but you’d think I killed their dog in front of these people with the way they act when I don’t want to pet one or let it drool all over my legs, or when i flinch if it runs up to me too fast…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 01:50 PM
14

these pick me women she’s referencing do actually do those things and pretend to like them for approval; this post isn’t about women who genuinely like “masculine” coded hobbies. if it don’t apply let it fly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 01:46 PM
78

I came here to freak out about NO GLOVES hands in the toilet wtf!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 01:01 PM
26

they also are cleaner than fat men in my experience; a girl I dated was much taller and larger than me and had some belly and leg fat but she was so concerned with having body odor that she showered sometimes more than once a day and always was trying new sprays or deodorants. fat men just continue to not wash without understanding how much risk of infection there is between folds of skin etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/21 12:21 PM
25

agreed; this post is describing a perversion of the concept of feminine energy and it’s the most pick me, male-pandering crap i’ve seen. feminine energy is about creativity, fertility, and literal creation. it’s anything but meek.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 02:20 PM
4

I had the exact same experience you described in point 1; it’s so uncanny actually. it did feel like a cult and I shudder now at how blindly I believed and parroted things that straight up didn’t make any sense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 12:25 AM
3

I wrote about my experience here; it was basically a lot of lying to myself and lashing out at people who were secure enough in themselves to advocate for what they truly wanted in a relationship instead of accepting whatever crumbs were thrown their way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 12:17 AM
133

I agree with everything you said except getting a “gift” of lingerie. lingerie at its core is for the viewer, not the wearer, despite however you personally perceive it, so I think it’s a selfish gift. get me some nice sustainably made, comfortable bralettes from arq or something, not an outfit I spend 15 minutes putting on only to take off 15 minutes later. I’m not coming for you or your opinion, get whatever gifts you want! just sharing why I don’t like the idea in general regardless of whethe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/21 03:20 PM
57

I think getting engaged to someone you’ve known less than five years is at best taking a giant risk and at worst is you intending to legally bind yourself to someone who is essentially a stranger. with her money, I wouldn’t want an engagement yet either.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/21 12:39 PM
9

I have bitten a man who kissed me too quickly and without warning. he grabbed me by the shoulders and it frightened me. apparently I can’t abide it physically 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/21 07:00 PM
7

I’m honestly right there with you lol; they are just especially touchy about it and will give haters cause to come for us, no worries!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/21 09:11 PM
31

don’t advocate brigading; it’s against reddit rules
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/21 08:12 PM
68

this is why it’s a red flag for me. my ex was like that and it was exactly like you described. if he can’t be assed to care about himself on his own how is he going to do that for someone else, let alone be capable of extras?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/21 05:37 PM
3

agreed I think it says more about the person saying it than you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/21 05:14 PM
38

same here; for me focusing on the negative social factors and the violence/exploitation of women it facilitates has been enough of a deterrent, but I agree that more introspection into why I have the compulsion in the first place despite knowing intellectually/ethically that it’s wrong will help a lot. thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/21 11:28 PM
13

I’m childfree and this has been my experience; most people ask innocently and rarely push or are doing it in a coercive way but there are always a couple. in my experience though it’s usually older women or men who pressure; people my own age usually accepted “oh that’s not for me” and move on to the next topic, so I usually don’t think someone is offensive for just asking me; it’s all in how they respond.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/21 11:25 PM
28

I act very dismissive of the question and if they push it I confront them by asking “what makes you think it’s ok to ask such a personal sensitive question to me right now?” usually ends it before it even starts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/21 11:22 PM
54

hey if you have those book titles i’d love if you could pass them along; I stopped going to those subs too & dealing with it alone has been alienating and difficult. my fiancé was never addicted to it & gave it up on his own with no struggle or “relapse” and so he doesn’t really understand what I’m going through. I haven’t used it in almost a year which is good but I’m interested in learning prevention and more about the psychological aspect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/21 11:15 PM
124

brutal response, I absolutely love it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/21 01:21 PM
135

every tiem :,(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/21 11:42 AM
10

this is what my ex was - just someone who latched on and was here for the ride, contributing nothing and not really taking all that much (although I did have to constantly manage his mood swings and hear him complain). it was so disheartening to realize he just….wasn’t really there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 01:55 AM
80

don’t worry, same thing happened to me, we’ve all been there. my LVex also cheated on me instead of putting that effort into fixing our relationship - but I’m truly a clown since I waited a few more months for him to try to prove himself and fix things 🤡 . the ick had already set in and he barely put forth any effort, so I finally came to my senses and broke it off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 03:12 PM
63

that sounds so draining, he was literally feeding off of your energy, sympathy, and attention - gross!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 03:10 PM
97

yeah I feel like it’s sort of ripping off a bandaid; once you do it it’s over and you can’t go back to seeing them how you used to. Idealization is a hell of a drug.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 03:09 PM
150

I can’t handle that, it’s an instant turn off for me; I hate when men compete because they feel insecure intellectually. I used to think i wanted an “intellectual” partner but so many of them act like that; my ex did. my current fiancé is not an academic at all, doesn’t really enjoy reading unless it’s about a topic he cares about, but he isn’t stupid and knows that. he respects my intelligence, listens and asks questions and seems genuinely interested when I explain things - he also has a lot o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 03:01 PM
152

yes, I agree. my mother’s purse was stolen out of her car and she had pictures of me and my siblings in there that she can never get back…all that for maybe $10 cash and a bunch of maxed out credit cards - it’s such a violation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 01:43 PM
306

that is so inhumane I cannot believe he admitted it to you so shamelessly. I understand maybe keeping money that you find on the ground but a wallet? and if someone comes in and asks you TO YOUR FACE if you have it and you lie, that’s just unforgivable. I can’t even imagine what that poor man lost when he got that $400 stolen from him. I feel bad sometimes when I find bills on the ground because I think yeah it’s an extra $20 for me but what if the person who lost it really needed it? happy he’s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 01:34 PM
188

this comment perfectly describes what it’s like to suddenly see someone without the rose colored glasses; it’s truly like waking up from a nightmare. thanks for such an insightful comment! each of those things seems “small” but combined over time it’s death by a thousand cuts!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 01:31 PM
120

that happened to me with a an ex from college - he shared his tastes with me a year into the relationship and suddenly all his weird behavior and sex hang ups made sense. he was a fetishist and fetishized the whole “woman with a peen” thing, which I know they exist as people and that’s fine, but reducing anyone or anything to a porn category is just depraved.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 01:29 PM
62

paper thin skin???! 🤢 that’s a new and gross one I didn’t realize I cared about
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 01:28 PM
42

yes I agree! the ick is our intuition picking up on something wrong beneath the surface of any guys, romantic interests or not. he sounds like he was poor boundaries and is trying to squeeze free career counseling from you on your own time, which is so entitled and scrote-y. I hope your attempts to grey rock him work!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 01:27 PM
30

my ex kept trying to pay for things after I broke up with him and start flashing his money around - something he couldn’t be assed to do when we were together. it was pathetic, and even more so because I make more than him now 💅🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 12:53 PM
36

I noticed this too - I used to be around people like that and thought it was normal and then I realized it was just……extremely creepy and dishonest. feels like you’re at a meat market when you’re around those people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 12:45 PM
90

this response. I would explore why you’re spending so much money removing hair that serves a protective purpose on your body, and why.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 12:11 PM
160

my ex tried to act like this after we broke up (he was still living with me briefly post break up until he could coordinate new housing and pay me for breaking the lease) - he wallowed whenever I was cooking yet still had the nerve to act picky about what I made like I was going to offer any to him in the first place. needless to say his temper tantrum and sulking about starving evaporated any attraction I had left and I counted down the minutes until he was OUT! He knew I showed love and caring…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 12:07 PM
9

such a great message! I was so afraid when the men started asking for help that they would backtrack but then that happened, loved it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/21 05:21 PM
3

I loved this movie and saw a lot of the same pro woman and pro FDS messages; so happy you made this post!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/21 05:20 PM
44

it’s all designed to keep us at each other’s throats instead of rejecting that kind of treatment all together
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/21 01:46 PM
36

the right move is to suggest a different, related activity at another time instead of inserting oneself into someone else’s established plans. I agree that’s very tacky and lazy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/21 01:40 PM
30

beautiful and inspiring, if not a little bleak, just what I needed to hear - I’m afraid of male violence but you’re right in that most are just weak, filthy cowards
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/21 12:26 PM
12

any female or female body especially if sexualized
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/21 12:11 PM
16

this is true. there is an underground gore film about john wayne gacy that apparently “went too far” because it showed him assaulting men, since gacy was gay irl. I watched it and it was actually kind of tame compared to some of the things i’ve seen done to women. they can’t handle it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/21 10:43 AM
18

Tubi is surprisingly good for more obscure horror movies, I found some classics in there recently and it’s free. I use shudder every so often and the cancel my subscription once I run through their collection - unfortunately other than that I just pirate stuff or buy a dvd
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 05:58 PM
47

yes; I think horror done by women is often very effective, more so than what’s generally out there. I love well written horror too and am a huge fan of short stories and anthologies - if you like listening to stories I highly suggest horrorbabble on youtube, they have a lot of well produced short horror stories, some really old ones as well!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 04:00 PM
186

I am very enthusiastically into horror and I have seen almost all the different genres including underground and indie horror, and I can 100% validate that the vast majority of men into this stuff are depraved and to them it’s a kind of pr0nography. I have met some really incredible female horror fans but in all my days I have met exactly one non toxic, non borderline (if not outright) creep or r8pist/apologist and he was happily married to a woman who was also into the genre. You’re right, it’s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 03:52 PM
5

this has been my experience too - personally it never really works out even though I have a couple exes I do respect and think are decent people (just incompatible) - that part of my life is over, it feels weird and forced to try and maintain a connection.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 01:25 PM
52

yeah it was an uncomfortable watch and I hated how it made me feel but I liked it. it definitely skirts the line of being one of those “women’s suffering for its own sake: the movie” but it had a decent message imo
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 11:18 AM
622

what a monster - this is why you don’t do wife things before you get the ring!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 10:02 PM
2

I agree that it’s not a red flag in itself; he may be testing the waters to see you comfort level. my fiancé knew I was opposed to marriage when we first started dating so he would only bring it up in the abstract every so often; once I expressed that I might consider marrying him specifically he began bringing up more concrete plans/ideas so maybe make a comment to test him yourself or sit down and talk about the future to see what he has in mind.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 06:45 PM
66

this is an extremely small set of examples but along with all the other HVM behaviors, small habits really do add up. my fiancé doesn’t drink coffee and never has, yet he knows exactly how to make and order any drink at any coffee shop I frequent, and every morning when I wake up, he has coffee ready for me. he also dislikes peanuts and chocolate, yet knows all the names of the candies and treats that I like enough to pick them up to surprise me. he makes as much money as I do (sometimes a littl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 04:18 PM
88

this is important - there are so many handbook posts about ways to vet that don’t involve actually having sex with him. that’s the whole point of vetting - to ensure you have a connected, positive sexual experience. if you’re not orgasming why are you doing it??!!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 04:13 PM
20

I watched my ex stare down this poor woman on the bus as we were going to what was our last “date” in the city (hence the bus). I didn’t say anything and let him do it to the point where she got uncomfortable and started glancing back at him and then over at me (that’s right he didn’t sit next to me either lol), and this scrote MISSED OUR STOP because he was staring at her lmao. I decided as we were walking to the date that this was it and I broke up with him that weekend. I still don’t think he…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 10:56 AM
33

that’s wild! my fiancé was a virgin when we first slept together (early 20s), and there was absolutely no issues with performance at all, like I cannot understand these men who ruin their bodies with death grip and then take it out on women for agreeing to sleep with them. like what? you can always tell a pr0n addict from ED… (my partner stopped watching it in his teens and never got to the point of being addicted, so these men do exist out there, don’t let scrotes project!)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/21 02:42 PM
30

i practice celibacy/abstinence unless I’m in a committed relationship- it’s the way to go!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/21 02:34 PM
45

and being celibate until you find someone is a valid way of doing that. it’s important to see women single and thriving until they get into a relationship! it’s good to live your life for you and if a HVM comes along, that’s amazing, but if not, your life shouldn’t be on hold until it does! these posts advise not hooking up with LVM just because you feel you might be “missing out” on sex (there are a lot of tools to help that won’t come with LVM games). there is no man bashing anywhere in the po…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/21 02:30 PM
14

I fully agree with that - it’s just difficult because I do love my mom and I have a lot of empathy for her being harmed but it is truly challenging to reconcile that with her choosing to stay with him over my brother’s and my own safety. thanks for the kind words!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 01:06 PM
10

you can’t see when the abusive man beats your child before your eyes? I don’t think bringing up a parents responsibility to the safety of their child is a derailment or a non point at all - yes we can learn all we can about the cycle of abuse but objectively seeing a man beat your child bloody, as my father did to me, and not react until you’re threatened with the authorities (as my mother did) really made me convinced that my mother was not a fit parent. she wasn’t and I still feel that way. on…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 12:36 PM
36

my mom stayed with my violent father for so long, even after he started beating me and almost killed my brother in utero by throwing my mother down the steps. she had people reaching out to her to get her out and she didn’t take it for maybe 4 or 5 years, not until we lost our house and became homeless and my moms sister threatened to get us taken away. I understand the psychology of abuse and how addicting it is and how badly you get broken down, and i have a lot of sympathy and empathy for my …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 12:29 PM
332

he got mad not because you said that about the guy but because he was planning to do the same thing and found out you thought poorly of that. that’s why they asked you if you were ok with it - so they all knew which story to tell and what to keep secret. you don’t fully know this man and he has a LV circle. I would 100% expect him to go to a strip club and blame it on his friend - which is disrespectful to you and the commitment he promised. the wedding would be off for me. if you truly thought …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 09:18 PM
4

there are millions of quotes and examples from each available online for free from google.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 03:21 PM
112

I agree. lots of women won’t want to face this but it’s true. I have seen women with no self esteem get sucked in and chewed apart by LVM after LVM because they can’t stand to be alone and will accept the crumbs any relatively nice seeming dude gives them. to break that streak and that mindset you have to take a break from dating to focus on yourself. in a world where everyone forces women to “be modest and kind” confidence and outward self assuredness appears to be arrogance; which it is not. w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 12:33 PM
22

it’s like they want a dominant or strong mommy figure just so they can go back to resenting whoever they cast into the role. I always say I’m not anyone’s mother and I never will be so they can search elsewhere. my ex is passive like that and would get upset with me for defending him and myself and “making a scene” and then cheated on ME and acted like he was the victim lmao. these men are spineless jellyfish - step over them lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/21 01:04 PM
14

so he assaulted you in your sleep until you educated him that it was wrong? this is very concerning especially if he’s blaming it on a sleep disorder.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/21 07:22 PM
159

this happened to me with a really cool woman I met at my job. she helped me get promoted and we had common interests and she asked me to hang out and go to this concert. when she asked me if I was planning to go as a follow up, and I was about to buy my ticket, she mentioned she would be bringing her husband, who cheated on her and who she got back with (I wasn’t close enough to her at the time to know the details but it seems messy). Anyway I made up some excuse and didn’t go but I was really b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/21 07:11 PM
698

good riddance; it seemed like he was testing the waters with triangulating you against his “bffs,” so you got out at a good time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/21 01:22 PM
5

this is how I handle things; if someone involves me I will share my opinion and will not water it down, but ultimately I had to accept that people will do what they want to do regardless of what’s right or what you say to them, which was difficult but definitely worth it for my sanity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/21 12:22 PM
1

oh lol I totally didn’t understand the flow of the conversation so it was difficult to tell exactly who was on what side - thank you for the context. I agree that if a guy isn’t receptive or good at listening in general then no amount of communication about anything, especially sex strategy, would change that. edit: I love your username btw!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/21 02:41 PM
2

I really don’t agree, and I’m tired of women telling other women what feels good and what doesn’t. it’s possible to orgasm from penetration because the clit is an organ which wraps around the vagina like a wishbone, so internal stimulation is possible with the right position/penis/toy. I don’t think most women can’t orgasm from penetration alone becuase of physiology, it’s because men are bad at sex. I can easily orgasm from penetration without direct clitorial stimulation but especially with bo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/21 01:53 PM
4

this is great! I love vision boards! I would post this to female level up strategy too, they’d love this as well
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/21 01:48 PM
48

you’re right; the nuclear family is an isolation tactic
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/21 12:15 PM
114

i’ve gotten crap for saying I want to date someone who makes the SAME as me or more. Like they will really tear you down and try and force you to be a charity for their hobosexual asses smh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 12:29 PM
26

I love this! it’s really true when they say that men break up and lose all “their” furniture, whereas women break up and they got a new degree, raise, trips, and friends 😂 you’re very inspiring and I love this energy!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 12:28 PM
13

sounds like you got through to her, good on you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 12:22 PM
259

don’t drop the assault charges - they will help you defend yourself against his bullshit harassment charges!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 06:50 PM
38

my dream ring literally the one i’ve wanted since I started looking, is $2400. I don’t really know if I would want something more expensive due to the fear of being robbed/losing it but I would have the expectation that this isn’t the only jewelry he would ever purchase for me, so it being on the cheaper side isn’t a concern.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 12:25 PM
28

any hint of self improvement or taking responsibility for your shortcomings is a threat to LV people 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 02:03 AM
20

this is the perfect add on to this analysis- I 100% agree
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 11:45 AM
15

most people do have that experience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 05:42 AM
40

I used to be a pickmeisha in the same way, I have compassion for mental illness but these men are so manipulative and self-sabotaging that I’m convinced most of their problems are self created. no more sympathy for that now lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 05:06 AM
10

I understand that healthy kind of skepticism, and I do support it. it just seems like no matter what, these posts get detracting comments and it’s difficult to see why we have the flair at all if no example or green flag is “green” enough (which is more of a complaint about men and the dating scene in general, not at you or other well meaning commenters).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/21 02:10 PM
41

I get this and mostly agree but then how are women supposed to post anything remotely positive? I notice that the majority of comments on any green flag post are kind of needlessly critical and often are chastising the op for something she didn’t say (for example she never said he was a HVM at all in this post but I see people coming for her in the comments). I just don’t see why we have the tags when the community seems to discourage posts which outline green flag behavior; I feel like most wom…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/21 01:02 PM
179

shaving, beauty standards, casual sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/21 12:51 AM
5

great list, it’s very helpful for self evaluation and seeing where we can improve
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/21 03:06 PM
40

I heard of a LVM through my friend who did this. he was relatively ok looking and had a big dick but he couldn’t stay hard at all and would blame the women he was with 😂 he also slept around and was a serial cheater. my friend wasn’t having it so she reached out to other women he slept with and they all posted screenshots together of him blaming them for his limp dick. it was glorious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 11:43 AM
1

I didn’t simp lmao my last sentence literally says what you just said. try dialing it back, you don’t need to attack people who agree with you. it’s statistically unlikely that all redpillers are gay and that their misogyny is related to internalized homophobia, just objectively as far as numbers. that was my point. no need to argue about a point I didn’t make.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 02:11 PM
278

this is why I stopped cooking/baking for men in general. I love to bake but people would always make weird comments about making my husband or my boyfriend happy or acting entitled to what I made or even having the audacity to tell me to “make x next time.” I will never bake for men again; I just figured out how to reduce recipe sizes for just my fiancé and I, or I drop off a big plate of baked goods with my female friends, who are always full of gratitude and who understand the work that goes i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 12:28 PM
39

there’s a lot of bizarre and unnecessary homophobia in your post but also there are definitely straight men who are involved with redpill, like statistically that’s most likely the case, they can’t all be closeted. if you can separate the homophobia out and just talk about their pedophilia and misogyny then that would be a better post. men can and do hate women regardless of sexual orientation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 12:23 PM
13

this was an abusive relationship, I’m happy you’re out, and if you’re not, I hope you have a plan.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 12:45 PM
8

I feel this a lot myself, both with exes and lost friends. However I try to remember how draining and exhausting and unhealthy the group dynamic was and suddenly I’m not so lonely anymore, and am grateful for the few friends I have instead of a long list of people who I have to pretend and put on a face for.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 12:40 PM
9

this is so incredibly accurate, every part of it. thanks for such a detailed and insightful post!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 12:37 PM
56

yes, men reading this, you too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 12:35 PM
8

and that’s like, a lot of ammo. When I went with some friends there were four of us and I think ammo was like $300, how much are they shooting?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 12:28 PM
14

same, this is always so hilarious to me. like we took the same test, are you saying your result is unreliable? 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 12:21 PM
10

lol I am an INTP and my fiancé is as well, although our I vs E balance is different (he was 90 I/10 E, and I was 51 I/49 E). I think the qualities you attributed to both are a sign of immaturity, the devils advocate stuff and the debate/arguing. I used to do a lot of that when I was younger but now it is much more reserved; my fiancé and I love debating and getting ridiculously into it over minor technicalities but we both understand when to stop and that this can be exhausting for people who do…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 12:18 PM
8

like most things, men take it and act like it’s gospel instead of just a fun theory or idea. I think it’s about as reliable as astrology but just as entertaining to think about. i love both, but I dislike when anyone uses either of those as a way to avoid self improvement and blames the sign/type as “just what they are.” no one is fixed like that and if your personality is so weak that reading about an archetype is going to make you become it, that’s poor character
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 12:12 PM
77

I’m pro abortion as in I think it should be freely and readily available with few restrictions, but I agree. She had intended to keep this fetus so to her it was already a baby, and he killed that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 12:08 PM
82

her facial expressions are hilarious 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 12:33 PM
26

gail is really doing vital work. kids need protection from this stuff. I don’t have sympathy for men but I do feel deeply for these young boys and girls who stumble upon this content too young, because once the hooks are in it’s over.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 12:22 PM
50

add to that the large collection and it seems to me like he’s part of a “trade only” community which guarantees its illegal content.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 12:15 PM
31

The biggest thing I learned from FDS is also the most simple: relationships are supposed to add to and enrich your life, not detract or take away from you. If you ever feel like you’re making compromises or you’re getting stressed or resentful because of things you “let slide,” it’s time to leave. Nothing gets in the way of my peace and happiness anymore, and having a partner who is very stable and patient and generous (without expectations) made me realize that. it’s shocking what we settle for…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 11:53 AM
77

yep. zero men who have identified as feminists to me have actually had views to match, in fact these men were the rapiest/most manipulative generally. the men who are allies or who understand to some extent what women really go through never really show that kind of entitlement to call themselves feminists.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 11:36 AM
3

it’s a podcast and a website!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 07:15 PM
30

when i was in the US the stations were unattended after like 9pm and being there puts you at risk of many vs risk of just one person who isn’t always a creep….. statistically it’s just better. wasn’t there a girl in the UK who was just killed while out on a walk at night? how is the subway which requires walking, safer?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 03:47 PM
68

yes you really hit something vital here. these sociopathic and narc scrotes are so empty and broken, they try to glom onto and suck dry women who are interesting and full of life. they see that rich internal world and social relationships and want it but can’t get it so then they try to take it away from you. it’s deeply disturbing, like a child who kills an animal to “see what was inside.” body snatchers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 03:42 PM
38

the subway is also extremely dangerous, not sure what subway you’re talking about but there are some that are totally deserted and the wait times put women in a hugely vulnerable position. so it’s a rock and a hard place decision and honestly statistically the subway is worse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 03:32 PM
32

herfirst100k is a great resource for women who are just starting out with finances and budgeting, plus it’s women owned and focuses on women specifically
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 12:31 PM
244

good for you!!! it’s so easy to try and be accommodating especially if that’s our go-to reaction but he was definitely just pulling your around and acting entitled to your time, showing a lack of respect. Your time is more valuable than that and you proved it! I think he was shit testing you to be honest, based on his reaction when you cancelled. I love that you turned it around on him and cancelled an hour before the date, so satisfying to read!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 12:05 AM
15

thank you so much! this is validating to read and hear, like I knew they contributed to us being diagnosed or seen as crazy but I didn’t realize it was a feedback loop - I really want to read Jess Taylor’s new book now, and i’ll check out the other book as well! I have read “crazy for you: the making of women’s madness” by jill asbury which was also a great resource about this topic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 01:53 PM
11

same! my fiancé is an extremely quiet introvert/homebody type but he’s constantly coming up with cool date ideas and taking me out. no excuses!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 01:11 PM
17

how could a man be treated like this and still feel like a man, let alone sexually attractive. toddler behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 01:09 PM
19

i’ve been called mentally ill for not wanting children and some men have been outright disgusted when I talk about how i’m sterilized. can’t control this body scrotes! (ps do not tell men if you’re sterilized when u first meet them, it could cause them to pressure you for unprotected sex, but STIs still exist!)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 01:04 PM
29

wow this explains so much, painful, but necessary to learn. I currently have that label, and my mental illnesses which are fully managed and under control are often used against me. it’s so shitty.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 12:54 PM
43

I did a lot of therapy and stopped all drugs, and drinking - the biggest thing that helped me was accepting that I didn’t have to convince anyone of the truth - I know what happened and I can act on that knowledge; it’s not up to me if others believe me or not. some days it’s harder than others. truth be told, I am still very paranoid and not trusting. I have since sought out friendships almost exclusively with women (this is in line with FDS strategy about not being friends with men), and even …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 12:48 PM
42

was gonna say this reads like a high schooler who just discovered a thesaurus and the wikipedia page on logic 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 04:35 AM
19

these men have nothing of value or substance to say; they think throwing out rhetorical arguments and spewing overly complicated word salad equates to intelligence but they can’t hold a conversation to save their lives 😂 @ that scrote commenter: refute me b*tch!! lol no one respects their “opinions”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 04:34 AM
205

going through something similar. a girl I know just started dating a guy who fed me dark web knockoff pills for a week (this was during my early twenties which was my peak of untreated mental illness and pickmeishaisms), which i’m pretty sure was actually Ghb, and had sex with me throughout my nervous breakdown, and who, when I cut him off once I got back to reality, literally cried to all our friends and made me out to be some kind of cold hearted abuser. I lost all our friends and he is cool w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 04:27 AM
27

took me five because I did not want to marry a stranger and needed to see long term ability to function/plan/improve. I don’t think 5 years and under is unreasonable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 06:21 PM
9

this looks like a screenshot of a post on tumblr but I think this is from why does he do that
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 11:51 AM
10

bald men are unattractive because they are either in denial about it or so insecure and whiny that it becomes their whole personality. so unattractive. get a wig or implants and stfu.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 11:46 AM
506

almost universally, i’ve found that men tell on themselves by telling you what their exes complained about while they try to dismiss it and triangulate you to her at the same time. it’s a scrote move. he wants you to reassure him he isn’t doing that even though he is, and he is subtly setting you up so that when you do call him out on what he’s doing, he can just compare you to his “crazy” ex who was paranoid and bam you’re back where you started, feeling crazy bc a NVM is denying reality.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 03:43 PM
4

I fully agree with you there, although I am not angry, just indifferent to men in this regard. thanks for taking the time to clarify!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 11:32 AM
11

we shouldn’t be giving men the benefit of the doubt especially as a class; most men would not seek therapy in the first place bc they don’t believe they have a problem, and many male porn addicts aren’t traumatized as children, it’s early exposure to porn and unsupervised internet time that’s the biggest factor. gail dines has resources for men who want to stop and that’s the most we can and should do for them imo; the most direct way to combat this is to focus on the porn and trafficking indust…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 11:01 AM
29

doctor ramani has a series on youtube about the different narc types!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 10:51 AM
254

scrotes mad this fine morning, 6 comments only two visible 😂 die mad, deadbeat dad!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 10:48 AM
101

this stuff really isn’t cute. he hates her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 10:36 AM
46

good for you! it’s painful and disappointing but also freeing to guard your boundaries and recognize when someone isn’t good for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 03:17 AM
41

in a marriage sure, but while just dating? 👀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 08:47 PM
37

I’ve had experiences similar to lilith and I do see women get hostile to other women who have higher standards. I don’t know how to move past that bitterness and get them to see their own value; it’s frustrating because as they said in the podcast, women who do this and standard shame collectively lower the bar for men as a whole.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 01:10 PM
49

this episode was amazing! Lilith you absolutely killed it with your talk about value, it was so refreshing to hear that perspective! and Savannah’s point about costs of dating for women was also so important. Thank you all for such a great podcast I feel like it makes the rest of my week.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 01:08 PM
5

you’re right. people want the mental strength that functional individuals (mental illness or not) have, and when they can’t obtain it because they aren’t willing to do the work, they try to trap people like us into relationships and friendships in which they slowly chip away at our stability and sanity and try to “prove” that everyone is as broken as they are. because if some people get better then that blows the whole forever-victim schtick out of the water.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 11:29 AM
30

£150 consult lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 10:38 AM
3

thank you for sharing, this is all very important and insightful information. my mother was abused by my father and I saw firsthand how it’s not as simple as she wants to leave but chose not to; it’s conditioning like you said.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 05:47 PM
216

this should be tagged queen shit; I love everything about that post!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 02:15 PM
26

scrotes are so transparent 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 12:43 PM
17

I tend to think of HV men as unicorns. If I lost mine I wouldn’t hold my breath while looking for another one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 11:38 AM
21

I am very on the fence about involuntary intervention when it comes to mental illnesses because i’ve seen it overused, underused, and grossly misused more than used properly, but I agree. DV is too dangerous. these men are brainwashing these women so they can keep them until they finally kill them. and then these abusive bro cops believe these men when they point to defensive wounds claiming she was just as much a threat to him. 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 11:28 AM
48

the guilt this poor ranger is probably dealing with. all we can do is offer support and a calm, rational place for discussing their abusive relationships, but it’s so hard to see another woman fall victim to her shitty abusive boyfriend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 11:26 AM
17

He only broke up with you to save himself the “embarrassment” of being broken up with, classic narcissist. little do they know they’re giving us a blessing when they remove themselves from our lives like that. congratulations on being free!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 11:21 AM
5

that’s a man commenting imo
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 11:15 AM
40

same here. I find lobotomy to be one of the most inhumane things you can do to a human being, and it’s just the butt of crappy jokes, never really discussed in any meaningful context. it was not even medically sound, quacks just instituted it to make money and make people more docile.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 05:16 AM
31

same. and you can tell which men feel entitled to your labor and which ones understand the work you put in. my ex used to just stand uselessly around the kitchen while I cooked, asking “is there anything I can do?” like bitch you watched me make this a dozen times, you don’t know how to help? meanwhile my fiancé now starts doing dishes or chopping vegetables for me without having to be asked, cooks for me as well so I don’t have to do it all the time (even though I love cooking it’s amazing to b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 05:20 PM
71

Lol I stopped shaving and my fiancé didn’t notice. These men are so porn obsessed they can’t tell what a real woman is supposed to look like; just some completely hairless soft childlike waifu 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 12:45 PM
46

I had to live with my ex for a time after we broke up due to housing situations, and I remember initially not hating him just being neutral and happy to he single, but over time up until he moved out, I grew to hate him. I now realize this list is why. He tried almost every tactic on this list (except sex pestering bc he was too embarrassed; instead of telling him the full reason why we broke up I said it was because he was always a two minute show 😂). Men who were your friend for years will sti…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 12:41 PM
146

my former “best friend” from childhood (and a former fwb, 🤡) who confided in me that he sought out the worst p*rn he could because he got off on the taboo nature of it, and also that he has an attraction to children 🤢 I didn’t take him seriously at the time but the longer I sit with it I don’t understand what kind of person would even lie about that… happy to say he’s long gone and has been for years
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/21 04:24 PM
15

I’m having the same problem now, huh. when I google the name of the sub and “reddit” it shows up…reddit keeps shutting down woman centered subs so I wouldn’t be surprised if this one got quarantined or something like that 😑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/21 10:41 PM
10

also r slash nametheproblem
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/21 10:11 PM
38

I agree with the limited phones and public computer rule; I was exposed to pornography too early and I think it’s only responsible to actively engage with what your children are looking at and how much time they spend online.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/21 12:45 PM
66

And they have no emotional regulation and expect you to do all that heavy lifting for them, while they have infinite tantrums thats you’re supposed to just tolerate. And the way they need your attention when they do things, whether it’s “watch me play this game mommy” or “ look mommy I did the dishes for once!” expecting a gold star……instant turn off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/21 12:32 PM
45

she didn’t do anything wrong. we need to follow our instincts and intuition if something feels off. this guy is full of shit because he actually went through her stuff first so I don’t understand how he is even able to claim she committed the most “unforgivable” act when uh, he also did it. the only difference is he had crap to hide. what he wrote is worse than what she did, full stop. it sounds like he blew this out of proportion as an excuse to break up. his notes already indicated he wanted t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 01:56 PM
13

I love and agree with the article but I also want to say I love and agree with your username op 💚
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 01:29 PM
21

agreed. I would want to date exclusively women if my fiancé ever died or we broke up but I would never re enter the “q*eer community” and all the dysfunction that entails
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 11:36 AM
6

if I ever break up with my fiancé I’m intentionally never dating or pursuing men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 11:21 AM
8

I agree; I think they were all solid advice points, even the first one. how you present yourself contributes to how people see you; even if it doesn’t stop harassment or anything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 11:13 AM
73

my fiancé also refused to indulge in any of my bdsm cope interests which ended up helping me to realize how unhealthy they were without actually coming to any harm. i’ll always be grateful to him for that honestly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 01:28 PM
25

sex in cars is illegal and can carry some serious consequences if you’re caught, just fyi to people reading and thinking of trying it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 11:09 AM
30

they sound like annoying little boys trying to get mommy’s attention. such a turn off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/21 11:32 AM
16

I think on mondays it’s restricted but other than that I’m not sure
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 08:37 PM
11

love this. laughter to me is one of the purest expressions of human beauty, and I love seeing it, and seeing evidence of it in the lines of a woman’s face.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 08:49 PM
28

my fiancé makes slightly less money (about $200-300 less per pay period) and works less hours than I do. as a result, the only domestic chore I do is cooking dinner a few times a week, and occasionally helping him clean up the kitchen after he’s cooked. he does the cleaning, yard work, grocery shopping, laundry, etc, and only really involves me if he needs to buy something and there are color options 😂. I used to date a male princess (heard that term here from a mod and I love it), so this switc…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 05:00 PM
79

my fiancé is extremely quiet and reserved, and rarely talks to anyone except out of necessity, the opposite of a social butterfly. but when he was pursuing me, and in our everyday interactions, he makes efforts to contribute equally to conversation. he doesn’t text or message much, but he regularly messages me, even small things such as an “i miss you” text from work. he expressed interest and asked engaging questions that showed he was listening, and shared things with me that were important to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 06:42 PM
27

this is partially why I won’t have kids of my own; I don’t want to raise males.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 06:38 PM
41

this. I can’t discount it entirely because I do it myself, and not to an unhealthy extent. this list provides a lot of great things to consider when observing a mans gaming habits and vetting him for quality. like any other interest, I think it heavily depends on investment level and his ability to self-regulate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 06:35 PM
109

another red flag is guys who pick you up without asking. I had a couple taller “friends” like this who no matter how much I stated I disliked it, would pick me up when they hugged me. They are no longer friends. i shudder to imagine what they would do in a more private context.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 06:33 PM
63

my fiancé and I play together sometimes, otherwise he will play his complicated strategy games here and there - the key is what types of games, how often he plays, and how much he values gaming. I don’t begrudge a man who picks up a game every so often to have fun; I do the same thing. But if he’s playing online games with toxic communities and he’s saying abusive shit to other players on his headset, and uses the match lengths as an excuse to not go out (or worse, plays WoW and refuses to go ou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 03:28 PM
397

he is a coke addict who divorced his wife out of nowhere to “go to rehab” but instead just slept with strippers and apparently had a baby with his affair partner after claiming he and his wife were staunchly childfree
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 12:38 PM
67

agreed. he was glib, not genuine, and I also think his work on the disaster show big mouth would have been enough to cancel him (a show written by adults about teens having sex), but apparently not. not happy for his ex wife or this new woman but happy his true colors are coming out
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 12:37 PM
54

I am engaged to someone who was my friend for years. I also had a failed relationship with someone I knew for the same amount of time. it really depends on the individual. as a rule, i’d say to avoid male friends and “orbiters.” in the case of my fiancé, we weren’t close, just were in the same circle and hung out/spoke when everyone was together, and we didn’t really develop a deeper personal connection until later on, and the relationship followed soon after he expressed his feelings for me and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 03:50 PM
3

my ex just did this to me. “you never gave me a chance!” this being after the last two years in which I was giving him a chance to change…the whole time….and nothing happened.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/21 11:40 AM
11

nah, the oppressor will always be worse than the oppressed reacting to their oppression; your husband did a cool little dance there to avoid the elephant in the room - him and other men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/21 11:14 AM
12

100% agree. my mom didn’t date and it was a very stable and safe childhood for me; I got to see my friends parents bringing through the revolving door of creeps and moving in and out; that’s a ton of instability for a child.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/21 11:12 AM
15

I do this too omg I thought I was weird 💓🤷🏻‍♀️💯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/21 01:19 AM
7

I used to shave my arms too! it’s wild how a little teasing comment here or there can change your entire self view. so happy we moved beyond that 🎊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/21 01:17 AM
13

same, I trim only when it gets long enough to pinch in my underwear or get caught on my pad stickies. picking out clots HURTS! I feel you there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/21 01:15 AM
7

love this! I also do not shave my legs and the amount of people who just don’t care is enormous. it is a great bullshit-filter, because if someone does care enough about my legs to comment on them, I know they’re not worth my time 💯💯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/21 01:12 AM
52

he recently had a giant controversy about being addicted to pills, for one, but there’s other stuff. he’s pretty messy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 05:34 PM
1

if you ignore all the stuff after purple pill, and ignore the stuff about political ideology from this article, it does explain the basic ideas of red, black, blue, purple, and pink pill (i’ve never heard it used in the context of politics so that part is wischy washy but the stuff relating it to mgtow or inceldom is accurate)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 05:29 PM
145

I was one of those broken women with a savior complex and I attracted these types of broken men - even if it’s true, no matter what you do, you cannot make these men happy. you cannot make them feel better. and more to the point, they will, guaranteed, come to hate you for trying, because they’re so committed and dedicated to their own victimhood, anything that tries to remove that identity from them is a threat. it’s so backwards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 05:20 PM
65

this. if I see a woman being dog piled in the comments i’ll message her off one of my other accounts and try to provide support. I almost always get a kind response, and even if not, I tried.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 05:17 PM
148

there is no solid basis for what he says; he reduces everything to a bare bones (almost to the point of being incorrect) evolutionary psych approach, which is extremely limiting, and he can’t even follow his own advice and live a meaningful and healthy life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 03:59 PM
142

I used to think femininity was such bs…..but it works. there’s something about learning how to appeal to masculine energy that just works every time. this phenomenon you’re describing is outlined in the book “why men love b!tches” by sherry argov. my HVM loves to feel needed and so did my LV ex but the difference between a HVM and a LVM is that you actually have things to express gratitude for with the former whereas you’re scrounging to something to “thank” him for with the latter. this is why …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 02:06 AM
55

you’re right - upon reflection, literally every short man has acted like this or been redpill or redpill-adjacent. I’m 5’0” too so you’d think they would at least be nicer to me… nope. so I got me a 6’0 giant to climb who is nicer AND has a bigger…… 🍆👀😂 they get so mad seeing really short women with tall guys, I love it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 01:58 AM
66

this is very solid advice. block and delete, or don’t interact. social media is very pervasive these days and it encourages these weird parasocial connections that just aren’t fulfilling or healthy (see the “orbiter” phenomenon)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 01:52 AM
79

I hope women start waking up and connecting with one another; men can’t keep pitting us against each other like this much longer. I’m proud of you for being strong enough to leave; my mom stayed with my abusive father until I was 12 and I really wish she had left when I was still younger. your children will thank you one day for what you did for them, and yourself. you are high value and you’re raising high value kids.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 01:49 AM
73

I had a new gf of an old (HV) ex contact me just to ask if we actually were on good terms and if we spoke at all etc, to check what he told her i guess. I responded and explained vaguely why we broke up (different life goals/needs), and that we didn’t really communicate regularly, just happy holidays/happy birthday a couple times a year. she friended me and they are doing really well. I wish more women reached out like that and didn’t see each other as competition. and I wish more women were ope…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 01:45 AM
70

exactly. you should feel empowered by your partners support; you should nurture each other’s freedom and autonomy. this idea that a relationship in and of itself is some sort of sacrifice is just…..no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/21 08:39 PM
117

exactly. I don’t and will not control a partner, but I absolutely will not tolerate the things I will not tolerate. that’s not controlling anyone, because the partner can leave if they don’t want to respect my boundaries.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/21 08:36 PM
24

why does he do that by lundy bancroft
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/21 08:34 PM
94

they’re already working on eroding women only spaces because they realize this too…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/21 11:47 AM
4

I feel the same way, and I am still torn since my partner proposed. we have had some serious discussions leading up to it and researching some of the benefits of marriage and what changed my mind to be open to it was that 1) we were de facto medical POAs, 2) he gets my assets if I die and vice versa (we both have toxic families with whom we are no contact, so this is ideal), and 3) when talking about money, he said he had the view that his money is our money and my money is my money. this view o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/21 11:39 PM
9

my partner and I make the same, but he is looking for another position with higher pay because my company has paths for me to make more, but his caps out at an amount he’s not comfortable with, so he’s trying to save now and search elsewhere while the market is good. the key especially if you guys are younger is to see where his motivation and discipline are - does he have aspirations to have a higher earning job, does he desire the same type of lifestyle in the same budget as you, and is he mak…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 07:31 PM
105

when I was in high school my best friend and i were groomed by my high school teacher. he used me to get to my (more attractive) friend, slept with her when he was 27 and she was 16, and triangulated us against each other and his gf (whom he met when she was in middle school and he was a freshman in college), and ruined our friendship. He also ruined my friends mental health because he tried to force his gf and my friend into a polyamorous situation when she graduated, which obviously went up in…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 07:10 PM
50

there’s no such thing as a simple surgery though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 01:06 PM
12

I don’t think trauma excuses bad behavior, just explains it. hurt people who haven’t processed that oftentimes hurt people, and if they’re causing others harm we don’t need to provide sympathy along with our understanding.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 01:05 PM
16

i can’t speak for them but some women are more guarded or do not want to get married quickly. I have been with my fiancé for five years and we knew each other for 10 total and we just got engaged. I personally can’t enter into a binding contract with someone I don’t know and I don’t think anything less than 5 years is long enough to really get a sense of how someone is through life’s ups and downs, at least for me. I am very guarded and not open to the idea of marriage in general, but my fiancé …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 02:34 AM
108

my neighbor is a narc man who cheated on his lovely live in gf (I heard their fight). thankfully she left him and moved out, but now it’s just him and all the pretty plants and decor are gone and he just sits outside and talks to this older busybody and just dumps info on her. it’s the dullest existence I have ever seen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 12:41 AM
109

it rewired them to see us as objects and they need it to feel anything sexual since they are ruined for real human contact; I agree. all their protective instincts are either dead or redirected to defend their pps.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 01:29 PM
103

there’s also always a marked disconnect with pornsick men, like they’re not there or like they’re concentrating hard on whatever they’re replaying in their head. my non pornsick partner interacts with MY body (I’m not just A body he’s using at the moment), responds to my cues, etc. sex with pornsick men feels like they’re running a playbook and then it’s over, no connection, totally spaced out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 10:58 AM
929

this is what usually happens because these delusional scrotes think women will be falling all over themselves for their crusty dick meanwhile the forever gf is the only one who will put up with his shit, and she is actually attractive so what did he expect. opening a relationship to try and fuck a specific person is vile, and to leverage a proposal on it? I hope she takes her newer hotter model and leaves him in the dust
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 10:49 AM
46

I agree. I cannot be with someone who yells or acts out their anger in an intimidating way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 04:54 PM
37

this. the men who truly believe in social justice principles generally don’t advertise them; they only come up if a situation arises. I found out how my partner feels about women and issues of class and race by just observing his response to reading or hearing news, or hearing his comments about how badly the women/minority individuals are treated or portrayed on shows we watch or games we play. it stood out a lot to me because I realized it was the first time i’d ever heard a man comment on som…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 12:09 PM
21

I refused to marry at all and wasn’t open to the idea at the beginning of my current relationship but he broached the idea around year 2 and kept hinting that he would eventually like it, not in a pushy way, but when I mentioned it to him (we are in year 5), he got really excited and now we are engaged (he proposed a few months after I mentioned it). I personally wouldn’t be comfortable moving to marriage quicker than that because I need evidence of his HV status over time to ensure it wasn’t te…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 03:00 PM
68

I also went through my HVM’s electronics because he only had facebook and no other social media, which I liked but after hearing it could be a sign of secret accounts, I checked his emails in dating sites and social media searches, found nothing. my partner also used to watch porn as a teen but not every time he masturbated, and then he said he saw a documentary about porn stars lives behind the scenes and was horrified at how much of what is filmed isn’t consensual and how much danger and disco…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 01:39 PM
11

yes! most of the guilt comes from hurting beautiful, amazing, intelligent women who would have been better friends to me than the LVM I was chasing after. I fully agree and I think it takes a lot of guts to call out women who are still in this mindset; I know I’m currently still sort of scared and avoid them entirely if I can, but the real problem was my own LV behavior attracting other LV people. and you’re 100% right - I am skeptical of male cheaters but I think once women get used and discard…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 10:39 AM
103

first of all, I don’t think you belong in the hall of shame. you know your behavior is conditioned and isn’t serving you and you want to change; recognizing that is the first step. second of all, I deeply relate to everything you said especially seeing myself in the third person - I made a comment on a different post yesterday about how when I was porn addicted and a pickme I also did that, viewed myself from a third persons perspective, all the time, including during sex. It’s basically a form …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 10:33 AM
22

in my pickme days I was a cheater and I think after years of therapy and working on my issues that I can safely say I wouldn’t do it again. I had never been cheated on, and then I was, and I sort of understood what it “meant” to cheat (go figure). I was your description to a T - all male friends, insecure, immature, etc. I didn’t specifically go after taken men, I was just “ok” with being a side chick (shudder) because in my messed up head at the time I thought that’s all I could get because loo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 10:23 AM
29

I have ADHD and a few other things (I’m not sure if schizo spectrum is related to neurodivergence) and don’t disclose that to dating partners or people im just meeting. I do observe and see how they handle things related to my disorders. Obviously i’m not talking about things I should have under control such as breakdowns or more serious symptoms, but for example I sometimes ask if they heard something that didn’t happen, or i’ll ask if they think something is a “sign,” or i’ll not want to be to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/21 09:53 PM
3

thank you so much, I really appreciate the explanation!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/21 03:19 PM
10

this right here. would he have done any of this for her while she realized her dream? don’t think so
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/21 02:07 PM
6

myers briggs is as accurate as astrology; it’s fun to think about but I hesitate to connect traits like “x are more likely to be abused” since there’s no real basis for that and it can slide into victim blaming real quick especially when we try to determine which types are pickmes or who are like more vulnerable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/21 02:06 PM
10

thank you for the source! of course it was a racist scrote, not surprising, but I didn’t know there were racist implications baked into the “oldest profession” sentiment as well
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/21 12:50 PM
2

I found a psychotherapist who specialized in schema therapy and was trauma informed which was the best combination for me; EMDR really did not do much except give me panic attacks and I didn’t have the talk time to understand and really dig into what I was processing with the emdr. I think there are pros and cons to each type of therapy but trauma informed as you said is a MUST. can I ask what ifs is in the context of therapy? I can’t seem to find it as just the acronym.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/21 12:44 PM
15

inner child parenting sounded so bogus to me when I started therapy but it’s been the most healing and transformative method i’ve ever come across and I echo your recommendation wholeheartedly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/21 12:41 PM
10

content warning for mention of the same: same thing happened to me; my best friend and i were groomed from 15-17 by a 27 year old teacher of mine. he pitted us against each other and tore our friendship apart so he could sleep with her (which he did while she was underage) and string me along to keep his secrets and possibly sleep with me at some point (although I was too sexually reserved to ever do anything or let him do anything more than above belt groping. i just found out he was grooming a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/21 12:40 PM
49

agreed. women who consume porn are contributing to their own self objectification. back when I was porn addicted in my pickme days, I was totally unable to have sex without thinking about what I looked like. all my fantasies revolves around what the person I was with was thinking about me and how I was making them feel. it took me years to unlearn this and to stop dissociating from my body every time I was in a sexual situation. I had to literally learn what felt good to me and what I liked beca…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/21 12:27 PM
120

this part here. there are entire p0rn categories dedicated to racist situations like cops taking advantage of black suspects, immigration officers assaulting immigrants, but it’s totally cool because it’s their “kink?” I’m sorry but abuse and racialized violence is abuse and racialized violence no matter what bows you put on it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/21 12:21 PM
31

this, almost every knitter is eager to show you their yarn ball collection or what they’re working on. it’s a huge red flag if a scrote claims to have a creative hobby but has nothing concrete to show for it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/21 12:17 PM
5

agreed, but I think saying prostitution specifically is the worlds oldest “profession” when it was essentially slavery and trafficking is both historically inaccurate and a misnomer. saying slavery is a profession would be just as inaccurate. I do agree 100% that somethings age doesn’t indicate it’s moral correctness! just trying to challenge scrote narratives in history
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/21 11:14 AM
7

a slur can be a slur without being as bad as another slur…. comparing them seems asinine imo
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/21 01:38 AM
8

I agree and the reaction to your preference explains perfectly why I don’t date in the current community. it’s an ongoing ideological purity test, not a dating or community experience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/21 01:37 AM
6

allies was a safe label for closeted individuals to use to still participate while staying safe. it’s not insulting, it’s survival from a time where being out could mean lost jobs and violence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/21 01:33 AM
39

now would be a good time to mention the actual feminist subs - fourthwavewomen, pornismisogyny, and femrad are pretty good
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 11:52 PM
131

the oldest profession is midwifery. don’t let scrotes rewrite history. birth came before sex buying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 12:06 PM
14

financial feminist is good if you’re looking for broad level up focused topics; other than that I second beyond b*tchy and baggage reclaim
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 11:03 PM
19

hey I used to have a npd diagnosis too but stopped meeting symptom criteria a couple years ago, after several years of therapy. I noticed that other narcs tend to be attracted to “narc women” until they assert their boundaries, or see us as cool girl friend material (since many narcissistic women revert to that stereotype & are pickmes). I also think that narcissism in women is over measured - being self focused isn’t the same as deeply hating yourself and constructing an entire fake bravado per…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 11:46 AM
37

this could be its own post there are so many good points in this comment!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 11:31 AM
87

like I would plan all the dates, I would treat him how I wanted him to treat me, I would essentially tell him what gifts to get me otherwise he wouldn’t know what to do… basically the other commenter said it - I was doing nice things for myself and involving him. i’ve since dropped him for a partner who does take initiative and puts in effort and the difference is staggering, but in between those relationships I just continued planning fun events and days for myself and bought myself the nice th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 12:07 AM
17

yes! do you listen to chloe_ on youtube? she’s one of the first women I started listening to about femininity. also the book why men love bitches changed my whole outlook!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 09:40 PM
130

my last relationship ended as a slow fade because I began to match his energy after being a pickme and trying to argue with a man about my value and how I deserve to be treated. once I stopped chasing him and trying to get him to engage or improve, I was left with the painful realization that I was essentially dating myself through him for our entire relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 09:33 PM
71

simple acknowledgment is powerful. people want to feel seen and men especially want to feel needed or useful, so just acknowledging what he does or how demanding his job is can make a huge difference (if he’s doing the same for you).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 09:30 PM
110

this. I need someone who can match my intensity, not someone who resents me for being loving and capable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 09:29 PM
114

I got called a female incel in the wild by another woman! and they got mad when I pointed out that I’m not involuntarily celibate, which is what that means lmao. hope she checked us out!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 01:38 PM
37

when it’s obvious definitely I agree but for other genres, I feel like it’s more difficult. for example, I love a very aggressive genre of music but I do not always understand the lyrics until after I like a song, so I wouldn’t necessarily blame someone for not really listening to music for its message, but like I said, when it’s explicit stuff like you mentioned, it’s definitely a red flag. I also consider being smug or arrogant about music choices to be a red flag and LV trait, which is someth…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 01:34 PM
27

he accidentally sent that copy paste message too early 👀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 12:37 PM
30

it’s pee. jokes on them. half of porn where the woman “squirts” is just pee.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 12:37 PM
38

love to see people fight religious misogyny with scripture!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 12:13 PM
52

the greatest lie of liberal society is that empowerment is a feeling. it’s only brought about by improvements in material conditions. you can’t “feel” your way out of misogynistic hatred and an oppressive society.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 02:36 AM
14

she’s on the official “break up with him sis” fds playlist on spotify!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 02:18 AM
27

I think it all boils down to men on the spectrum being easy to recruit in these online spaces due to sometimes being socially isolated or outcasted. so it’s not autism causing them to be more likely to be in the manosphere, it’s that they target men who are on the spectrum specifically to joint their messed up little indoctrination club.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 01:14 AM
157

you can just block them or opt out of getting the messages so they really are desperate out here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 01:08 AM
12

read the handbook which includes descriptions of the tags and what they mean.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 01:18 PM
435

if I tried to even broach that subject with my fiancé he would be disgusted. real men realize how sad and pathetic it is to pay someone to act like they like you for a night.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 12:40 PM
117

helping older women on the other hand is almost always rewarding in multiple ways - I always learn something from my female elders
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 02:19 AM
8

same!!! I go from extreme sadness and empathy to fury because they’re creating problems and stabbing women in the back! at a certain point a person is just shitty, patriarchy or not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/21 10:03 PM
3

I wouldn’t be too hard on yourself. grooming on top of societal pressure and influence is an extremely overwhelming and powerful conditioning tool. be proud you got out of that mindset!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/21 01:11 AM
55

Gaming and anime is a dangerous combination - lots of screen time, so it’s almost guaranteed his brain is porn fried to boot. If someone is advertising that they play video games it’s automatically a red flag that it’s a part of their identity - I watch tv, but I don’t lead with that as a highlight when trying to make myself appealing and share an idea of what I like and how I spend my time 🤦
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 07:48 PM
138

this. I enjoy video games and so does my fiancé , but we pretty much only play together, otherwise he plays really esoteric strategy video games (those really dry, complicated games that are about resource management like civ but more detailed), and I occasionally turn on something shooty and fun (but offline, always offline) for an hour here or there as a way to unwind. Most men though, make it entirely about their identity. Look at how they all throw tantrums and harass and dox people and crea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 07:43 PM
11

she absolutely seems like she would be an abuse apologist. I sincerely hope because her family is somewhat closely involved with her child that the kid will at least have some good influences (but who knows what the family is like). why do pickmes always think we want their ZV crumbs lol, these men aren’t a prize.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 05:16 PM
9

lol for sure! I don’t believe a word out of his mouth unless it’s verified, however I have seen them “out and together” before and with the body language I wouldn’t be surprised if it were true, with some fake breadcrumb affection every so often. he’s a sociopath lol, nothing would surprise me. I’m not friends with her, the man, or his ex gf anymore (although we were close at one time, she was rightfully upset when she found out about his affair and cut all mutual ties with the guy, including th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 05:07 PM
126

perfectly said. I could never describe why kink “appealed” to me even when I thought I was in my pickme days (thankfully I never actually engaged in anything irl, just lurked and read things on forums and in stories), but the addiction and cycling is exactly it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 04:12 PM
582

what normal person thinks a me me me exhibit is a good first date idea? so narcissistic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 04:10 PM
18

they’re broken up and she knows. thankfully the gf wised up and cut him off and made him move back to his moms 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 03:57 PM
20

they are that bad. he breadcrumbs her but in the most bare minimum way and he manages to pull her back whenever he wants. these mistreatments are like the frog in the pot of water, you can’t tell how bad it is when you’re in it I guess.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 03:54 PM
25

lol it’s not women that’s for sure….
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 01:32 PM
105

if I still spoke to him I would have. I sent her screenshots of him speaking badly about her but she didn’t care. I asked her to consider his gf who didn’t know, and her son who could use the food and money more than he could, and she didn’t care. I ripped into him about stealing out of the mouth of her child and surprise surprise - he didn’t care either. I feel so sorry for her but after a certain point I am frustrated and angry at these women who cling so hard to delusion and put themselves an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 01:31 PM
342

The woman who shared this is a single mother who cheated with this former friend while he was with his gf, in the gf’s house while she was asleep upstairs!!! She still talks to him despite the fact that he told me 1) he ripped her off and stole money from her by claiming he needed it for various emergencies and she gave it to him and CONTINUED TO DO SO after finding out he was ripping her off, 2) he regularly mooched rides off of her (they were co workers) and manipulated her into buying him foo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 11:23 AM
29

this is an amazing expert tip - I love this so much!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 09:34 PM
83

I have a coworker like this too, she is often made fun of for her efficiency and having all her bases covered always. like I had never before seen anyone mocked for doing a job too well? insecurity is a b*tch
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 06:40 PM
36

100%. he’d already be gone after three years of no sex, probably before. and you know he’s probably one of those dead bedroom guys, smh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 03:40 PM
47

this doesn’t translate into any material benefits for women, just sex buyers. I support the Nordic model.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 03:25 PM
59

she birthed a child and he has the audacity to demand anal from her because he death gripped his dick into a numb stub? disgusting. clearly he doesn’t understand how tightness works but badly neither does she
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 03:23 PM
11

I think it is widely normalized and packaged in a really insidious and evil “empowerment” narrative. getting beaten and strangled and controlled by men is never going to be empowering, even if you say you want it. I’ve been ostracized and had friends cut me off for expressing this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 05:04 AM
24

same here. I thought that was the most I could get, and that men would find me more appealing I guess, because in hindsight I have no idea how I convinced myself I liked being degraded or injured.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 02:38 AM
13

thank you! this is why medium value men are a myth! not being a scrote is below the bare minimum. a male with red flags is a NVM, no red flags only and no good qualities is a LVM, men with no red flags and compatible traits AND green flags is a HVM, and only conditionally, as this can change, so keep vetting always.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 02:25 AM
368

I also prefer dates during the day as it removes the expectation of sex or that weird time afterwards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 02:21 AM
48

all this 110%
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 07:38 PM
172

you’re right and I think it will get worse before it gets better, but our perspective is really starting to gain traction, hence the severe and public backlash to it (including the pickme reactionary cool girls). they can and will come around, and it’s happening. i’ve seen more young women getting into radical feminism and other such topics than I did when I was that age.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 05:36 PM
411

he has a gf, and didn’t want evidence of another woman in the house.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 05:30 PM
169

I can’t believe they try to say slapping a woman in the face or strangling her during sex is somehow contextually different than slapping/strangling her otherwise while trying to draw a parallel between that behavior and patting someone on the back. like, how far removed are you from actual violence that you can’t discern those two scenarios as totally different?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 04:20 PM
3

for sure! your intention was clear, it’s just so refreshing to NOT see someone being smug about “changing her mind” or considering other options that I had to say something lol!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 09:01 PM
4

having kids is an important life decision and I love this post despite being cf, sure of it, and sterilized myself because I think like all major life decisions, a woman should consider it carefully and consider her current vs desired future circumstances. I think in situations like yours where you do fundamentally like kids and being around them, that not wanting them yourself can be caused by outside sources (like a shitty partner). I don’t think this feeds into the narrative that all cf women…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 08:47 PM
33

misogyny affects all women, even the attractive ones, in different ways than just the things you mentioned. also, those studies are generally just attractive people, ignoring that while sure, attractive women may make more than an ugly woman, she is still making less than her male counterparts. always keep the eye on the men pulling the strings and resist the urge to punch sideways at other women who have it marginally less bad than you in some areas but are still living in this hellscape of a s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 03:33 PM
16

check out the sub w g. tow but without the spaces and period; it’s a small sub but it’s basically about this feeling and not wanting to date, but managing loneliness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 03:29 PM
8

this is a handbook post 100% because it destroys the concept i’ve seen popping up here of the “medium value man.” a man is either aware of societal misogyny and takes active steps in his day to day relationships to address or at least not perpetuate it, or he isn’t. it’s not your job to lead a man to the realization that women are full human beings, let him do the work himself. plus, if he doesn’t get it, you explaining it won’t convince him, since he doesn’t fully respect you in the first place…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 02:58 PM
18

that’s what gets me - this seems obviously like someone’s jerk off fan fic but…why are so many people rushing to give him stickers?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 02:20 PM
23

yeah her reasoning is so off, and the “satisfying men every half hour” sounds like a pornified fantasy of what prostitution is - def a wattpad fanfic (super accurate assessment lol)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 02:19 PM
7

don’t worry I’m in the same boat, except my partner just wouldn’t try and would flake which led to his people asking me to ask him, which i shut down real quick. also idk if it’s supposed to be literal or not but I’m also literally mildly schizo, love the username!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/21 04:11 PM
27

medium value is low value. red flags like sexist jokes and immaturity are stop signs, not things you should compromise over imo
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/21 12:32 PM
28

solipsism is a philosophy for emotionally arrested men who haven’t thought about the world or philosophy outside of whatever junk they come up with in their haze of cannabis smoke. pure narcissism and laziness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/21 01:06 PM
8

hard agree and love your username, you’re awesome!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/21 11:16 AM
273

all it does is teach men that consent can be bypassed for a price.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 01:20 PM
158

a+ reading between the lines; i saw that stuff too. he also is weirdly vague about how he woke her up, I imagine he didn’t just “yell” until she did, he probably pulled her off the couch or shook her violently or something.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 11:14 AM
4

keep me hanging on by the supremes & you’re so vain by carly simon come to mind
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 10:53 AM
155

we aren’t individuals to them. we are interchangeable
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 04:17 PM
31

there are different camps on this sub regarding whether old works or not - it can, but posts like this reminding us how it can become a time sink and shouldn’t be your ONLY option can help people who get overwhelmed by jumping into apps. a rotation is good, multi dating is good, the actual way you get men (OLD, in person, etc) - different tactics.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 02:04 PM
313

thank you. he is raping her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 01:53 PM
2

I also do this but recently have encountered some men who become borderline violent or physical to get me to acknowledge them, so i’m struggling with my nerve sometimes. comments like yours help me keep it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 01:59 PM
3

even in professional situations, violently twitching or dramatically shrinking away and loudly asking why they touched you (is it a bug) is a sure fire way to make every man in the room take two steps away from you. it works.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 11:47 AM
3

you could make a whole post out of describing these archetypes of the pickmeisha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 09:18 PM
22

I do this too and thought I was weird for it! sometimes I also imagine they’re talking about a spiritual figure instead of some guy (if youre religious god can be a good stand in but obviously that wouldn’t track for non spiritual people).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 04:59 PM
2

totally agree! thank you for this insight! :) I’m so happy to hear you are having success in dating and romance
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 05:07 PM
25

no, but i’d question if you’re asexual as a response to the dismal options/hookup culture available to you or if it’s truly no libido. I think a lot of asexual women are just women with high standards who don’t want to subscribe to the dominant cultural narrative of women’s sexuality exists to please men’s. aside from that, if you’re still asexual i’d say according to the above comment that it would be energetically neutral, not “empty!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 03:12 PM
30

this right here. kink is not natural or healthy, it’s a bad way of dealing with unresolved trauma that allows others to get off to it or exploit you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 02:07 PM
26

this exact thing happened to me; i’m sorry we can relate but happy you are coming out of it as well 💗
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 02:05 PM
158

yes, I have a wide collection of toys for myself. I have a high libido and a low need for men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 02:50 AM
45

this. I’m sorry that happened to you but i’ve been there too - the distance really helps bring clarity
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 02:46 AM
27

oh my god do they have a script? mine blamed me for him cheating too! he said he was feeling distant from me and so he just HAD to go hang out with a chick (on a walk/car date smh) and “didn’t think i’d care” because I was clearly not catering to his every whim like a mommyslave 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 01:10 AM
22

a MVM is a LVM if he’s not the right man for you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 01:07 AM
29

medium value doesn’t exist imo. a man is either LV, HV, or transitioning from LV to HV. “medium value” implies the latter type of man, which is a barbara the builder set-up -something to avoid. it’s not our job to placate mediocre LV men by calling them medium value if they don’t actively abuse women, and instead just sit like grey static in their lives, offering and providing nothing. they need to work on themselves and get their shit together, not enter into a relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 12:54 AM
84

this is where I’m at and I was looking for the final reassurance that it’s the right decision. your comment and this post is just echoing my thoughts. thank you for sharing your experience
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/21 05:58 PM
9

“nice” is different than kind, and you sound very bitter, so I’m not sure who is going to be laughing last. :) best of luck to you regardless. like literally if your comment had been written by a man we’d be laughing at how incel it sounded…. “I’m nice the good men/women only date bitches/assholes.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 09:11 PM
32

you seem confused about definitions and what abuse is - I agree with other commenters that you should be able to clearly tell the difference between the two and the fact you’re conflating them at all kind of points to some unresolved internalized misogyny about how women express themselves. men don’t try to spare our feelings, ever, and it’s not abusive to return that energy if it’s given to us, or to not respond (and thus be “rude.”)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 07:06 PM
61

uh, the whole point of this post is that “harsh” women or “bitches” aren’t actually harsh or bitchy, they simply have firm boundaries, solid self esteem, and ample self respect, so they demand proper treatment and don’t tolerate bullshit. a “kind” and “sympathetic” woman will be bled dry because men who rely on women for emotional support are parasites who leech off our emotional intelligence and empathy. like another commenter said, nice guys finish last, but nice girls don’t finish at all. but…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 07:02 PM
39

i’ve never seen or experienced this ever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 12:27 PM
247

lots of times abusive men turn it back on women who decide to fight back or defend themselves. so I’m very skeptical also.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 11:13 PM
60

there are men who don’t or who will stop once they think critically about it. gail dines discusses this on the fds podcast. 90% of men do but there are some.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 01:50 PM
65

I would not stay friends with someone. I have had to distance myself from certain people who have been called out, people i’ve known since elementary school. doesn’t matter to me. if I can’t trust a man in a room with an unconscious woman, he fails my incredibly basic litmus test for being a not-terrible human. men who have been accused like that or there’s proof against them, I absolutely would not trust. when my friends kept hanging around people who assaulted me and my partner I realized how …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 01:43 PM
30

we love women who lift 💪
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 12:43 PM
63

and they wonder why men hit that wall of central obesity, balding, heart disease, and ED.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 12:34 PM
16

same!! I definitely observe how he views children and people who choose to have children - he should be respectful of their choices and minimally judgmental and definitely not cruel or misogynistic. I understand having no-parents as a dating boundary but that’s no reason to call them things like used up or damaged goods - it’s disgusting. My best friend is an amazing HVW and single mother and she is still a gift to any man who she allows to date her, that type of disparaging talk makes me so ang…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 01:48 PM
12

thank you so much for this comment! I am sterilized and while I am happy for the peace of mind it gives me, I absolutely do not disclose it and do not have unprotected sex until as you said, we are basically engaged or already seriously in a relationship. Men will see this as an in to try and weasel out of a condom or not be as careful - stealthing is a thing and it’s rape by deception. very valuable advice!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 01:45 PM
9

classic! this and romy and michelle’s high school reuinion are classic chick flick feel good empowerment watches for me!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 03:38 AM
39

same here, I knew I never wanted kids even as a kid. I got sterilized at 25 and it was the best decision of my life - so much peace of mind.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 12:53 AM
28

thank you for adding this on - all of it is 100% labor we as women only are forced to do - and it’s quite the mental load. sex isn’t so fun and free and silly if you have to worry about your bc failing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 04:04 PM
326

I’m cf too and sterile, so I don’t really even have the risk of pregnancy. we still deserve HV treatment because of the things you mentioned - we are discriminated against for being female in society, we spend more for our upkeep, and we are generally more employed and more educated than men. it’s statistically proven men benefit from having wives and women die earlier from having husbands - that’s really all you need. we make their lives better. plus, we take on the risk of being raped or assau…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 11:10 AM
8

you are amazing and I hope you continue to grow your spirit and strength, and that you save up enough soon to get out of that dynamic. and thank you for standing up for your mom, thats incredible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 02:04 PM
56

it’s because they’re BORED WITH YOU! Take them off the couch and do something! picking a show isn’t a big deal and it’s definitely not a date - it sounds like all these people do is watch tv for their relationship time, what a nightmare.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 12:18 PM
42

I plant to change my last name from my fathers to one in my family history - I would have loved if my mom had done this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 11:54 AM
5

you remind me of how my mom talked when she left my dad! she raised my brother and I all by herself and we have a great relationship. she worked hard and gave us the best she could. your children will learn one day and will be grateful to you for protecting them .
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 11:51 AM
3

this - and track your cycle. my eggs make me crush on just about any attractive man I see and then three days later - all nasty to me again lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 04:25 AM
3

you!! so happy to see you on FDS, I follow you on insta and twitter!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 04:00 AM
5

she got robbed though, so…..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 03:47 AM
85

this. I couldn’t imagine sitting there and paying twice what I owe. I have walked out midsentence before and i’d gladly do it at a time like this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 03:46 AM
20

i’m so sorry he did this to you. honestly talking about their sexually deviant lifestyle and expressing concern for a stream of strangers and sexual partners going in and out of their home is likely to get you custody, especially if you can get evidence they’re active on OLD or something together
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 03:25 AM
13

“I actually do, sir, as this is my job.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 03:19 AM
7

perfect advice; you said everything I was thinking! as a wlw it’s difficult to navigate our self image and how we view other women because it’s so often that internalized misogyny leaks outward and when we seek relationships with women, that can translate into LVW behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 07:30 PM
12

I agree that it’s bad practical advice, but i think those comments are mostly cathartic. I do think those get upvotes because we wish we could say those things, not that we actually should say them (at least I personally feel that way when I read them). but for sure, never waste energy on something beneath you or something that could put you in danger! edit: also I agree that the judgments need to stop. always prioritize self preservation, above everything else
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 07:17 PM
14

have you ever had to keep an unwanted pregnancy to term?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 11:29 AM
11

please in the future just use birth control, abortion can be hard on your body. I wouldn’t keep this child though, you’re permanently tethered to some asshole if you do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 11:29 AM
3

saving this comment for a future movie watch list, I haven’t seen some of these in years, and some not at all. thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 03:33 PM
3

I’m saving your comment because, and i’m deeply ashamed to admit it, I have been on both sides of this and as you described it, any attempts to explain away male depravity from the men in my life were out of a desire to not be targeted. and in the end, I still was. every time. that’s what pickmes don’t understand - even if they “pick” you, they’ll never see you or respect you and you will eventually become their target. no woman is an exception to those types of men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/21 12:00 PM
9

yes, being part of those communities contributed heavily to my pickme tendencies, and I took a break from socializing within them during the earlier parts of my level up journey and only now, several years down the line, am I finally comfortable enough to try again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 01:52 PM
26

I get this with metal music and my more nerdy interests like tabletop gaming and such, men take it as an invitation to somehow both try to sleep with me and talk down to me about something I’m passionate about. makes no sense. plus, I go to events for the music or the games, not the sweaty weirdos who leer at any female who dares invade their boys club.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 01:32 PM
11

I got voluntarily sterilized. that’s not a game I’m interested in playing, let alone winning, lol. if that’s your goal tho then yes, dating around makes sense to get a sense of the selection for quality offspring!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 09:54 PM
35

I do agree with multi dating as a strategy for the reasons you mentioned, but as the other commenter said I find old to be more of an extremely anxiety inducing time sink than anything and it is nice to hear other strategies for finding hvm that aren’t as stressful for someone who is more paranoid and introverted like myself, for whom multi dating is just overwhelming and loneliness is not as big a concern (again, this isn’t judgmental in any way, loneliness is extremely painful and I understand…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 09:45 PM
14

it sounds like this guy is showing her his ex’s defensive wounds left on him and that it’s possible he is the abuser.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 03:56 PM
10

I don’t know the song at all so I didn’t think that was as pointed as it was. that’s not a microaggression, that’s straight up interpersonally aggressive. I don’t think I stigmatized being upset, it was very much just about valuing her opinion of op - this woman’s opinion is clearly warped by her own insecurity and jealousy. I wanted to communicate that op should not internalize those feelings from her about her personal choices but I didn’t do that as well as I wanted to - thank you for the com…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 03:53 PM
67

exactly!! I love hearing strategies for women who use OLD just as I have a morbid fascination with the horror stories that come from using it, but the truth is no one can tell if any man is truly HV without consistent vetting, whether he is from OLD or a mutual acquaintance. I am also too paranoid to use OLD myself but I certainly don’t look down on women who do or blame them when things go bad. it’s all a shitshow and we are all trying to get through it lol! I come here for all the wisdom of th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 01:30 PM
123

your comment is what I wanted to say - fully agree.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 12:42 PM
63

why does her opinion bother you? you know you’re right. she’s just jealous, clearly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 11:06 AM
340

I do think things will change if we refuse to play. that’s kind of the whole idea with vetting and waiting and being picky, as well as choosing not to actively date unless someone really hv comes along. both strategies are valid, and I like the balance struck on FDS, regardless of what people think it should or shouldn’t be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 11:03 AM
19

it’s not banned, there is a sub called rapekink, along with rape fantasy, rape world, and rape confessions that are all alive and well on reddit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 02:05 PM
75

right? I was mercilessly bullied all throughout elementary and middle school. I wonder if men could handle half of what I experienced (and NOT do the male thing and shoot up a school)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 01:17 PM
9

I have a theory as a former pickme with only male friends growing up - as others have said, men generally are incapable of real connection and not approaching women with any ulterior motive. I was dealing with some very heavy mental issues growing up and into early adulthood and that total lack of emotional depth actually just reinforced the dynamic I had always known - no one cares about your needs, you’re always too much, and everyone wants something from you so you should give. I am always ve…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 03:27 PM
6

I’m sorry you’ve felt stifled. it’s hard to look back on LV relationships and realize how much energy you wasted, but you do have the opportunity now, everything is open to you! I don’t want you think I feel like all inexperienced wlw are red flags to me because they’re not - and I don’t think all wlw think that way. it’s glaringly obvious when someone is being weird or predatory, but being inexperienced on its own is neither of those. happy pride, and I hope you get to a place where you feel co…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 12:33 PM
12

this. it’s very telling when a woman calls herself a gamer girl and then has the exact same gaming library of her SO. Like sis please stop pretending to enjoy things you find objectively boring, or try a game you think you might like. My partner and I both play games sometimes but rarely together because we have totally different tastes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 12:26 PM
50

I experience this too! like no I don’t want to hear about your sexual experiences with women or what you wish could happen…. I’m just trying to live lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 03:02 AM
109

Vet, vet, vet no matter what! The culturally entrenched ideas we have about hookup culture and the attempts to remove intimacy and emotion from sex are powerful influencers, and we bi and lesbian queens are not immune. I have noticed that as a bi woman I get targeted by couples and “experimenting” women who just want to use me as a sex toy, “experience” me like a science experiment, creeped on by dudes (single or in a monogamous relationship), or worse, used by desperate straight women as pawns …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 10:09 PM
24

“no cave troll dick in that precious pussy” YES ☠️💯😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 09:45 PM
16

it’s going too far too, there’s a russian streamer who killed his pregnant gf on stream for money. their depravity knows no bounds.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 11:24 AM
1

yes, you deserve everything you give and more!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 03:29 PM
6

a lot of these are bare minimum. I’m happy you’re happy, but getting your starbucks and cooking when you’re working late are givens!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 12:58 AM
7

yup, we are the commodity on OLD. don’t do it ladies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 05:16 PM
21

I totally agree. I do not date strangers, and I especially don’t look for dates on an online app which isn’t very secure and expose myself and my info to who knows what kind of men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 01:56 PM
58

that is the main issue I had with the “community” - they act so superior and like monogamy is inherently restrictive or outdated, but I see it more like they talked about in one of the FDS podcasts - monogamy is acknowledging you could have anyone but are actively choosing one person exclusively. there’s nothing wrong with that or wanting that. it shows a great deal of respect and commitment and that can be beautiful. i agree that under the right circumstances certain poly relationships might wo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 03:15 PM
22

I have issues with feeling bad for being cold or aloof but honestly it’s necessary. if men pick up on your giving or nurturing nature, they will pick at you and suck you dry, the workplace being no exception. I have very firm boundaries about what I talk about at work and how I interact with coworkers. I have a reputation of being a bit stuffy but i’d take that over doormat any day. I think you handled the situation very well and didn’t let him twist it into a therapy session! it’s hard to forgo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 12:26 PM
12

this is so sad and disgusting and why I can’t abide kink posi people - normal human beings don’t get more excited and aroused when someone in distress says no or tells them to stop. I’m tired of being gaslit about the fact that being aroused by women in pain is a gigantic red flag, not some cute little sex quirk you can “accommodate” in the bedroom.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 12:18 PM
7

I just got this book and I’m so excited to dive in! I also want to read her book “right wing women” about the pickmeisha mentality in general & why women contribute to their own oppression.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 04:40 AM
1

also the fears surrounding motherhood - mother, goodnight mommy, hereditary, etc. women are waking up!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 07:07 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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