Pls nEed A BabYsItTeR

catlady4u · 2021-09-29T13:49:21+00:00

I can cook, but men should not act entitled to my cooking. Men who 'subsist on frozen/fast food' can learn how to cook, too. Who knew? 🙄

kerean1997 · 2021-09-29T14:36:30+00:00

If you don't want to live off of frozen meals or take out you know what the best thing to so is?

LEARN TO COOK.

hensbanex · 2021-09-29T12:28:45+00:00

this is why I stopped cooking/baking for men in general. I love to bake but people would always make weird comments about making my husband or my boyfriend happy or acting entitled to what I made or even having the audacity to tell me to “make x next time.” I will never bake for men again; I just figured out how to reduce recipe sizes for just my fiancé and I, or I drop off a big plate of baked goods with my female friends, who are always full of gratitude and who understand the work that goes into baking.

mashibeans · 2021-09-29T14:49:43+00:00

You'd think the "LoGiCaL" sex would be able to figure out how to cook some simple meals and make a meal plan for the week.

nikkirosex3 · 2021-09-29T15:40:18+00:00

the best is when they act like cooking & cleaning is some extremely difficult task that only women are capable of learning because men are too lOgIcAl minded or whatever

like it’s not that hard to make chicken or throw your clothes in the wash bruh, you’re just too lazy and want to throw the menial tasks onto the women so you can focus on making money (& then cheat later luls)

the truth comes out when they talk about divorce cases and the men always say “wHaT dO YoU bRiNg tO tHe tAbLe?”, totally admitting that they don’t at all value the work of a stay at home wife. Saying they respect homemakers was all a lie to get you to be subservient and be a maid. They don’t respect nor place significant value on it lmaoooo.

PeanutButterPigeon85 · 2021-09-29T16:40:58+00:00

My brother is like this, and so I've given it a good bit of thought. It was such a mystery to me: he studied for years to learn advanced technical skills and yet can't/won't cook, and I couldn't figure it out. Cooking basic dishes is much easier than what he does for a living, so if he can handle the latter, why won't he do the former?

My theory is that men like my brother refuse to learn to cook for four reasons:

Entitlement: They don't feel like it's their "job" to cook, even for themselves, and even if they live alone. In the words of my brother, "Why should I cook when I can just get [a female relative] to do it for me?"
Fragile masculinity: They're unwilling to tolerate the trial-and-error process of learning to cook. Learning a new skill requires you to humble yourself and to seek out teachers who know more than you do. It requires you to make a lot of mistakes and -- in the case of cooking -- eat a lot of crappy meals. I think that a lot of men who see cooking as "women's work" aren't willing to humble themselves enough to learn those skills because it feels emasculating to them. I think this is why men like my brother, who will put in hundreds of hours to master a technical skill that feels "masculine" and reinforces their ego, will refuse to put in that same work to master cooking.
Habit: Habits are easy to form and hard to break. It's especially hard to break a bad habit that's reinforced by a feeling of entitlement (see #1 above).
Short-term thinking: My brother rationalizes not cooking by saying it takes too much time, and that (for him) buying takeaway is more efficient. I know he feels like this is a logical stance. However, as we all know, relying on takeaway and frozen dinners will destroy your waistline and your health over time. This habit means prioritizing short-term gains at the expense of long-term well-being: not very lOgIcAl.

What do you ladies think?

ETA: Added a fourth reason

IvyLeagueButt · 2021-09-29T13:37:23+00:00

If they won't cook for themselves, why shouldn't they live off of frozen food and fast food? It seems well-deserved and frankly, pleasant to hear.

sewingmachinesavior · 2021-09-29T12:19:37+00:00

The amount of men who have asked me if I can cook…I can’t even. It’s become an instant next for me.

xfelugirlx · 2021-09-29T13:14:43+00:00

This is why I won’t cook for any man besides father and friends. I cook since twelve years old, Even women said things like omg she know how to cook, lucky man. If they want all the benefits better earn those

Novemberinthechair · 2021-09-29T16:32:45+00:00

I’m very good at cooking and love feeding people who I know will appreciate and value my effort - as long as the do the dishes and clean up after for me .

I’d cook for my ex, and he’d clean the dishes. The times where he’d offer to cook , he’d expect me to help him AND clean after him - even though the intention was to do something nice for me and let me sit back and relax for once. When I’d decline to help him because I felt like he was putting unequal labor unto me , he’d get irritated and jsut end up re heating leftovers for me ….

EurasianEmpress · 2021-09-29T16:38:13+00:00

Wouldn’t it be much easier to learn to cook instead of getting a whole girlfriend/wife just to cook (and clean) for you? Shit, if I were to choose between learning to make all of my favorite foods or maintaining a relationship just to have a man cook all of it for me, I’d rather learn to do it my damn self.

Adventurous_River_64 · 2021-09-29T13:05:07+00:00

Out door food?

miwamus · 2021-09-29T17:19:14+00:00

Is this a #NotAllMen or #AllMen? Men, make up your minds and report back. We're not mind readers.

katiekat0214 · 2021-09-29T18:15:39+00:00

This is precisely why I stopped cooking or cleaning for my first husband: he felt entitled to it, and he let HIS (not our) rent house get filty. He kept it clean enough before me, but the moment I came into the picture (we lived together, and I became a pickme mommy non-bang-maid due to his being ace and oblivious), the house went to hell.

I got so fed up with his not pulling his weight, I just stopped. Yep, the house began to stink. It was a Pyrrhic victory, but worth it to draw boundaries, look out only for myself, not be taken advantage of. It broke my heart when he seemed relieved I had stopped even asking for affection and we were more roommates than husband and wife. I knew then, time to get out. Made a plan, and four months later I was GONE. Still don't know if he can cook... and don't care.

adrianaonly · 2021-09-29T14:13:43+00:00

I purposely never learned how to cook. I was married for 12 years I have never once cooked for ex. When they ask I flat out say I can’t cook and don’t want to learn. Next…

Title	Pls nEed A BabYsItTeR
Author	Gimmesomealcohol
Upvotes	1276
Comments	36
Date	September 29, 2021 11:59 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/pxtur6/pls_need_a_babysitter/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/pls-need-a-babysitter.1073584 https://theredarchive.com/post/1073584

Comments