herzogin_eva Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
54	I don't want more children with my unhealthy husband?	RELATIONSHIPS	herzogin_eva	/r/RedPillWomen	06/02/22 07:07 PM
30	Different body ideals between my husband and I?	RELATIONSHIPS	herzogin_eva	/r/RedPillWomen	27/12/21 12:29 AM
25	What is this behavior called?	ADVICE	herzogin_eva	/r/RedPillWomen	23/04/22 04:22 PM
4	How do I handle this?	ADVICE	herzogin_eva	/r/RedPillWomen	03/10/22 07:43 PM
1	Husband sending flirty comments on IG stories	ADVICE	herzogin_eva	/r/RedPillWomen	22/04/24 04:33 AM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
1	Husband sending flirty comments on IG stories He is Arab I am Korean/American. Both Muslim.	/r/RedPillWomen	22/04/24 07:23 PM
1	Husband sending flirty comments on IG stories He says he pulls away because it’s too little too late basically. He said he’s been dealing with getting not enough affection since the start of our relationship and it’s gone downhill in the past few years, probably because of kids and life, and he had to adapt to not getting enough for years so he’s closed off to receiving. He even admitted that he probably should have seen this as a red flag from the beginning, since I’m not an overly lovey dovey affectionate person. He talked about what type…	/r/RedPillWomen	22/04/24 07:19 PM
15	Is there anything that can be done to repair the mess that I’ve made by lying? This. Yikes…	/r/RedPillWomen	29/11/23 10:55 PM
6	My Unexpected Connection with RPW Wasalam. Muslimah here. First and foremost, I am a Muslim. Therefore my lifestyle is primarily inspired from the Quran and Sunnah. Any inspiration or teachings I gather from other sources other than Quran and Sunnah, I filter through those lenses first and if they don’t fit, I don’t adopt them. It’s simple. As for your example of participating in a competitive sport — there’s nothing inherently against Islam with that as long as you observe hijab and don’t let it take you away from the remembran…	/r/RedPillWomen	14/10/23 06:24 AM
9	Cheating Dilemma: do you let your partner know that you know? Well if you want to stay, I’d probably not say anything and quietly improve yourself (if that’s even going to help the situation). I guess my logic is you can always tell him that you know at any point in the future, but once the cat’s out of the bag, you can’t take that knowledge back from him and however that might affect the relationship.	/r/RedPillWomen	18/08/23 01:29 PM
3	Do you prefer sons over daughters? Well, I don't think anything I say will change a whole country's POV on this topic but it isn't the woman who decides the gender, it's the husband's sperm. So you can remove yourself from that "blame" (if that's even the right word) if it helps...	/r/RedPillWomen	16/07/23 04:05 PM
1	Do you prefer sons over daughters? I think people naturally want what they don't have. "The grass is greener" pervades peoples' mentality with everything. For example, my mother in law has 3 sons and currently has 4 grandsons with another grandson on the way. She's been wanting a daughter/granddaughter for literally decades, but what can you do? You get what you get, and what's important is health and happiness!	/r/RedPillWomen	16/07/23 01:18 PM
2	Left holding the baby... Agree.	/r/RedPillWomen	17/06/23 05:08 PM
21	Shows of masculinity to his friends: Appropriate? Necessary? Specifically: strip clubs. As a Muslim woman...is this post even real? So he's Muslim but dating for 6 years, cohabitating, and going to strip clubs, and he's still doing all this at 40 years old? Muslims don't have debaucherous bachelor/bachelor parties either? IMO it takes a certain type of person to go against their religious upbringing in such major ways yet still claim to be of that religion.	/r/RedPillWomen	04/04/23 09:15 PM
3	Trigger warning: Men really do cherish a flat stomach Meh, this is true for mainly Western and East Asian men. But go over to Africa or the Middle East and you'll find it's entirely the opposite. People like what they like but a lot of it is cultural I find.	/r/RedPillWomen	22/03/23 01:17 PM
5	Partner says we cannot be together in the future I agree with you that it's for the best. Sorry you're going through this.	/r/RedPillWomen	21/03/23 07:43 PM
16	Partner says we cannot be together in the future Just asking because Ramadan's coming up in 2 days. This is typically the time when non-practicing "muslim-by-culture" types start to feel guilty about having boyfriends and girlfriends and cut things off to start the holiest month as a better Muslim. There was another post here a couple days ago about a Muslim and Christian breaking things off recently and that's the first thing that went through my head. He may be back to you in a month. But...would you want someone like that? I wouldn't.	/r/RedPillWomen	21/03/23 07:36 PM
7	Partner says we cannot be together in the future Is he muslim?	/r/RedPillWomen	21/03/23 07:33 PM
25	Should I give up on marriage if I am an ugly woman? Unless you have a MAJOR deformity, it is literally impossible for a woman to be unattractive IF you take care of yourself. Take care of your skin, have good hygiene, exercise and be at a healthy weight, learn and apply some basic hair and makeup techniques, learn to dress for your sense of style and body type and you'll have the physical part covered. It sounds like you have confidence issues and insecurity which is honestly going to be your biggest challenge in being a good partner, not your lo…	/r/RedPillWomen	01/02/23 11:23 PM
3	body count 0 20 Yes, because my (now) husband asked if I'd had boyfriends or relationships in the past and I hadn't. I saw my friends getting used and hurt so I had no interest in casual relationships. I observed and learned from their mistakes. I was honest because I had nothing to hide although he didn't believe me at first because meeting a western-raised virgin at my age was not something he expected. So at first he was incredulous, but then very happy once he believed me. I wouldn't volunteer this inf…	/r/RedPillWomen	10/01/23 05:43 AM
2	My friends are ignoring me: am I at fault? Yeah it can definitely be painful after having known someone so long. But that doesn't necessarily mean it's the end...maybe it's just a pause and one day when you're in similar places in life you'll strike up the connection again.	/r/RedPillWomen	07/01/23 05:00 PM
2	My friends are ignoring me: am I at fault? Maybe you feel stronger about your friendship with her than she does with you? I don't know. But it's normal for friendships to disappoint us, in fact, it's kind of the expectation that as life stages change, friends will come and go.	/r/RedPillWomen	07/01/23 04:26 PM
4	My friends are ignoring me: am I at fault? I would say this becomes more common as the years go on. You should get closer to your husband and family. You and your friends all get deeper into your own lives and true, fulfilling connections with people outside of your family is rare as you get older.	/r/RedPillWomen	07/01/23 03:59 PM
5	Am I a Red Pill Woman I don't know if you are or not. But it seems like your internet identity revolves around letting random internet people know you enjoy mind-blowing sex all the time. Not sure if that's indicative of you in real life...	/r/RedPillWomen	30/12/22 04:46 PM
16	I am in love with an older man Why don't you just ask him out yourself? Like for a coffee?	/r/RedPillWomen	09/12/22 01:43 AM
29	Dating every culture turned me racist. Ma'am, this is a Wendy's.	/r/RedPillWomen	27/11/22 04:43 PM
2	Dating a new guy that's ultra private. Never done this before. How do I proceed given how expressive I am? Muslim female perspective: This is the correct answer.	/r/RedPillWomen	18/11/22 11:06 PM
3	I was committed to celibacy but have given in to him twice. How do I regain control of the situation? Not that you don't count, but that he might not be considering you as a long term relationship, so he doesn't care that you're not a virgin.	/r/RedPillWomen	18/11/22 11:00 PM
11	Husband asked me if I’m slow… is this contempt? I don't know any women who are in a polygamist marriage, so I don't know for sure. But, if I think about it, I would prefer to be in a polygamist marriage than to have a husband who sleeps around. It's more dignified for him, me and the other women who are made into wives that have a place in the family and society, which makes me respect him and them more. He keeps his place as a head of the house and provider, and we have our places as mutually recognized wives. There's also a limit of 4 wives…	/r/RedPillWomen	03/11/22 01:27 AM
10	Husband asked me if I’m slow… is this contempt? Well in my religion, the solution is called polygamy, but people don't like to hear that.	/r/RedPillWomen	03/11/22 12:44 AM
34	Husband asked me if I’m slow… is this contempt? Yeah OP, I'm agreeing with this response here. I know we can't know all the ins and outs of any relationship based on a couple of posts, but the "hall pass" post (which is always kind of ick for me personally) and the fact you described him as "very red pilled" in a comment, doesn't paint a great picture. IMO a red pilled man is very different than a red pill woman and have different relationship expectations....which is what it sounds like you're experiencing.	/r/RedPillWomen	03/11/22 12:16 AM
6	Is it possible to balance a career with being a rpw? Being a SAHW/SAHM has not been the norm for most of human history. This means that most women have worked and run a household at the same time. It's really only been the privileged, wealthy who have been able to afford to be SAHWs. The RPW is a framework that allows for variations of personalities, identities, careers, relationship statuses. It's not one ideal lifestyle that is celebrated, but more the appreciation and understanding of masculine and feminine natures of men and women, and how to …	/r/RedPillWomen	20/10/22 10:38 PM
2	How do I handle this? I work full time and I would have to quit in order to do so.	/r/RedPillWomen	04/10/22 12:18 AM
1	How do I handle this? He has a couple of friends, but they live far and everyone is busy with their lives. Men don't sit in cafes for hours at a time in the US, which is something I think he's looking for and misses. I work full time, remote, but I can't work from another country. If we were to completely move, I'd have to quit my job and find something else.	/r/RedPillWomen	03/10/22 11:43 PM
68	Feeling like I’m giving everything but not receiving much in return. Help! Just stop doing the things and take time to do something you enjoy. Did he ask you to do all this stuff or are you just doing them because you think he wants you to or are trying to impress him? A happy, rested woman with a less than perfect home is more attractive than resentful, exhausted woman with a perfect home. When you're happy and in a place of receiving, he will be more giving.	/r/RedPillWomen	30/07/22 03:43 PM
21	Struggling hard with weight loss The gym won't help you lose weight as much as diet will. Have you tried keto or a low carb diet? I find it super easy to follow. I don't get hungry or cravings after my body got used to eating less carbs and the weight just falls off. I went from about 167 to 138, and I'm in the best shape of my life. Oh and I never work out because I'm a tired mom who works full time. This is solely from going low carb. You can buy low carb tortillas and make super tasty chicken quesadillas with cheese and avoc…	/r/RedPillWomen	18/06/22 12:34 AM
5	How do you get over your boyfriend looking at other woman online Mine doesn't. And neither do I.	/r/RedPillWomen	08/06/22 04:12 AM
3	my boyfriend likes seductive posts and i hate it… Smart move! My husband uses SM sporadically and my toddler is too young for it. I've got other problems but SM isn't one of them!	/r/RedPillWomen	26/05/22 11:13 PM
6	my boyfriend likes seductive posts and i hate it… Seriously. I don't have any SM besides reddit (not sure if that counts) and seeing post after post like this just confirms the fact that it would serve no use for me.	/r/RedPillWomen	26/05/22 10:49 PM
6	Forming a surrendered circle Yes me! I'm not into paying into the LD community because I'm cheap LOL, so I've just been doing it on my own but would LOVE to join a free one!	/r/RedPillWomen	17/05/22 04:38 PM
4	Our conversations devolve into fights so often :/ help. Wow are we married to the same person? I don't really have an answer for you other than I've sort of given up on sharing my opinions with my husband at the moment. It's not worth me sharing if it's just going to cause pointless conflicts. Maybe one day when he's ready to listen and consider perspectives that are different than his I will, but for now, I'll find other ways to stimulate my mind.	/r/RedPillWomen	15/05/22 02:45 PM
3	You have his love, you have his commitment, but do you have his devotion? - More lessons from my grandmother. Love this, needed this ❤️	/r/RedPillWomen	04/05/22 12:40 PM
14	I’m at a loss and really want to change I know where you're coming from because I've felt that way too. What helped me was to reframe things that I would complain about and change my mindset towards them. For example: if there's a sink full of dishes, I'd think to myself "ugh, one more thing to do, I hate doing the dishes, but if I don't do them no one will." I changed that to, "I'm grateful to have dishes to clean because that means we've had food to eat, that's a blessing." Or another example: if my toddler has woken up for a millio…	/r/RedPillWomen	02/05/22 04:14 PM
5	What is this behavior called? Wow this is great, thank you so much! Because I want him to be a leader for me and be confident about the choices he makes, but I also can tell that when I tell him, "whatever you want is fine with me" like it's often said here, it doesn't work. I can tell he wants some place to start and it frustrates him when I don't provide that rope, like you put it. I'm just used to making a decision and dealing with whatever consequences good or bad that come with that, but I guess it's not the same for hi…	/r/RedPillWomen	23/04/22 10:40 PM
6	What is this behavior called? LOL! That's okay! Yes, forget the luggage people!	/r/RedPillWomen	23/04/22 08:48 PM
7	What is this behavior called? True, but before all of that I'd rather try to see what I can do to stop it. People say they'd do anything for their kids, but it seems like that doesn't include swallowing your pride and ego, doing some introspection, looking at themselves and seeing what they could have done differently to improve the relationship. What blind spots do they have that, when addressed, could change everything? Sure, violence is not an appropriate response to words and my husband has his faults but luckily, our so…	/r/RedPillWomen	23/04/22 08:47 PM
4	What is this behavior called? It happens a couple times a week. Yeah, I've looked up gaslighting before but the thing is, I don't feel stupid or incompetent or dependent on him after all these years of this same behavior. I consider myself a successful, confident, productive, goal oriented person who can look at things for what they are so I can control my own actions first. By contrast, he's often the one that asks me for input and reassurance on making decisions and stresses me and himself out with his indecisiveness. I kn…	/r/RedPillWomen	23/04/22 08:35 PM
1	What is this behavior called? Thanks!	/r/RedPillWomen	23/04/22 08:19 PM
8	What is this behavior called? I try to walk away and he finds thay disrespectful and gets even madder. It's gotten violent before when I did that. But maybe I'm doing it wrong. I have a child with him now so I don't think it's right to deprive my son of a dad because I can't converse with him. I can talk to my family, my coworkers, I read, I write. I have other ways of stimulating my thinking mind. I'm not a huge talker anyway, so it's actually kind of okay and I don't need to connect with him on that deep of a level if it's…	/r/RedPillWomen	23/04/22 08:09 PM
6	What is this behavior called? Going on 12 years now. Like all the time. I feel like he gets upset over the weirdest things. Things that I can't even explain my way out with him because it's so weird. He got upset over the tone with which I responded "oh!" to something he said. But that's another story. So I try to not engage in too deep of a conversation with him because I don't know what he will take issue with.	/r/RedPillWomen	23/04/22 07:06 PM
3	What is this behavior called? Thanks for your reply! I will keep this in mind the next time this happens!	/r/RedPillWomen	23/04/22 06:33 PM
7	What is this behavior called? Nooo, never ever have done that. That would be a HUGE problem if I ever did that. I never even had a boyfriend or been touched by a man or anything before I met him. He was my first for everything. So I don't have a history before him. He even gets angry at me if we're watching a movie and it cuts to a kiss scene or a sex scene or something and I didn't avert my eyes in time.	/r/RedPillWomen	23/04/22 06:08 PM
23	What is this behavior called? Yes, finally. Thank you! It's not about the luggage or the cost. I have other examples of our life to disprove that, but I didn't want to get into that here. You hit the nail on the head. I was trying to get across his response to the phrase, because it really was just the phrase, but most people didn't seem to see that. That phrase seems like a pretty common way to word things so I didn't think it was crude? But is it? So what can I do about this? Because this happens with some frequency where …	/r/RedPillWomen	23/04/22 05:38 PM
5	What is this behavior called? We are Muslim. The husband has no right to the wife's money and he needs to provide clothing, shelter, and food for her. So yeah, his money is my money and my money is my money LOL Despite what you may hear about it Islam is pretty good to women! More info here: https://islamqa.info/en/answers/126316/is-the-husband-obliged-to-spend-on-his-wife-if-she-is-working-does-he-have-the-right-to-take-anything-of-her-salary	/r/RedPillWomen	23/04/22 05:28 PM
3	What is this behavior called? He's more frugal than me on certain things and on certain things I'm more frugal than him. I would say we are both overall financially responsible people, we just have different things we like to spend money on. For me, that's bags and jewelry. For him, it's food and technology. As far as the tone, we were happy and just talking about the luggage. We werent talking about buying one or the other. We were talking about buying luggage for our own use. When he knew what the price of the luggage I wa…	/r/RedPillWomen	23/04/22 05:26 PM
3	What is this behavior called? Maybe, but I feel like we were fine talking about what we each wanted for ourselves and joking and happy. It wasn't an either/or discussion. But then the phrase is what made everything turn sour?	/r/RedPillWomen	23/04/22 05:17 PM
8	What is this behavior called? That's just kind of weird to me because in our religion, what I earn is my money and what he earns, he needs to use to provide for the household. Now, of course I don't blow my whole salary on crap I want for myself, I pay for groceries, daycare, gas, other household stuff is basically split in half...but that's because I choose to help. So it's strange for me to have to ask to use my own money that I've earned...	/r/RedPillWomen	23/04/22 05:15 PM
3	What is this behavior called? No he makes like 25% more than I do	/r/RedPillWomen	23/04/22 05:06 PM
11	What is this behavior called? Hmm...I don't know. Our finances are fine. He knows I like expensive handbags, its kind of a hobby, and I pay for it myself since we both make six figures. Yeah, he thinks they're unnecessary purchases, what man doesn't think that? But he doesn't pay for them so I wasn't asking for him to buy the luggage for me, we were just talking about what we each were going to go with.	/r/RedPillWomen	23/04/22 04:57 PM
17	Learning to STFU and curb my sarcasm I can sort of relate to that because I'm Muslim. In our religion, we're taught to tell/show people right from wrong and share the message, but that ultimately it's God who guides and the other person is not going to saved based on our conversation or debating skills. Basically, weren't not supposed to get all bent out of shape if the other person isn't getting our point because it's not up to us. Even Jesus and Mohammed had opposers and naysayers and they were much better people in every sense t…	/r/RedPillWomen	18/04/22 04:52 AM
25	Learning to STFU and curb my sarcasm I try to remember the simple fact that no matter how smart or logical your point is, if it's directed at someone who didn't arrive at their conclusion by logic and reason and and are unwilling to open their mind, then they're not going to hear your point anyway. The people who are willing to have a conversation and consider opposing views are easy to talk to. The people who want to steamroll any idea that is different from theirs are impossible to talk to. So it's easy to just STFU and save your…	/r/RedPillWomen	18/04/22 04:36 AM
41	Feel like I messed up in life I think that for everyone, life doesn't turn out the way you wanted it to, or exactly the way you pictured it would. But that doesn't mean you can't be happy. There's no guarantee that if you didn't go to med school and married that guy from before that life would be however you imagined it would be. You just took a little detour is all. You can still meet someone who can let you stay at home if you wanted to. It might not be on the same timeline you imagined because of your schooling and the de…	/r/RedPillWomen	17/04/22 06:01 AM
22	How to approach boyfriend after brief separation I mean, I guess the mentor thing is fine, but I don't understand your relationship? You've been dating for that long and he doesn't know where you live? He tells you not to be a stranger and visit him? That seems like something people would say/ask before they start dating or in the early getting-to-know you stages. That along with the insecurity about reaching out to each other. Seems odd. It just seems like you're not on close enough terms on the basics to go straight to some kind of mentorshi…	/r/RedPillWomen	31/03/22 03:46 AM
5	Dilemma with fiancé Salam sister, This is definitely an issue and is a legitimate reason for you to divorce in Islam. Although it's usually the other way around with the man having the higher drive. But luckily you are finding this out early! I would have another calm but specific conversation with him about what your expectations are and what his expectations for frequency and see what he says. However, you have to understand that if he's naturally lower then you will need to compromise as well when he's tired or …	/r/RedPillWomen	30/03/22 01:41 PM
10	Finding this guy (28M) hard to read, or am i overthinking it (24F)? 🙄	/r/RedPillWomen	13/03/22 03:19 PM
9	Help me understand my own womanhood. I feel like the rug’s been pulled out from under me. Something that struck me in your post was the feeling you had that only women submit to someone else's will. I'm a Muslim and as a future convert to Judaism, I think we can both agree that we, even men, submit to God's will. So we are all working within God's framework here and everyone faces their own trials they have to overcome. I don't exactly know what your thoughts of the afterlife are, but as a Muslim, something that I try to remember is that this life is just a temporary reality where we…	/r/RedPillWomen	05/03/22 01:31 AM
11	Work from home? You can't work from home with that young of a child without some sort of help. I work from home, and there's absolutely no way I can get anything done without my 3-year-old being in daycare or family watching him if he's at home. As far as guilt, you have to do what you have to do to live and provide if you have to. If that means you need to work temporarily, then that's what needs to be done. Think of it as a blessing that you live in a country that has remote positions where you can make money…	/r/RedPillWomen	23/02/22 02:31 PM
10	Different body ideals between my husband and I? No, he comes from a culture that idolizes big women, which is the polar opposite of western culture, so I know that's what he prefers.	/r/RedPillWomen	27/12/21 01:54 PM
6	Different body ideals between my husband and I? He's not constantly talking about it. It's just that I know what he prefers and I feel less attractive because I know I don't have the body type he wants. But I'm not willing to risk my health, so I'm just needing to come to terms with never being exactly the way he wants me to be.	/r/RedPillWomen	27/12/21 01:53 PM
5	BF moving out of country. What do I do now? Please don't take any offense at what I'm about to say. You say he is from the UAE, so I'm assuming he's Muslim. As an American woman who converted to Islam and is married to a Muslim Arab man, he's going to marry someone from his country and someone that his family approves of. If that was you, he wouldn't have decided to move there without letting you know. The qualities of a girlfriend Muslim men look for and the qualities of a wife and mother of his children are very different things. So, ev…	/r/RedPillWomen	26/12/21 02:21 PM
8	Redpill media? I've always liked Katherine Hepburn's role in "On Golden Pond". I felt she was a great wife to someone who maybe wasn't really the nicest person all the time. It's easy to be a great wife when times and situations are great, it's not that easy when your husband is going through a transition. I think she showed a lot of qualities in that role that Laura Doyle talks about.	/r/RedPillWomen	28/11/21 08:04 PM