~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 0 | Why can’t we be friends?I feel like this is a really heteronormative issue — I’ve never had any issues being friends with people of any sex or gender identity even though I am attracted to nearly all categories of people (I’m bisexual and have little to no gender preference). I can just have hot/adorable/engaging friends without wanting to bang them. I don’t have a need to hook up with / pursue everyone I find attractive, physically or emotionally. This kind of links into the common concern I hear a lot (admittedly thi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/10/22 12:00 AM |
| 6 | The idea of redpill is good for men, the current reality is notAlso, even when they do bust their ass at the gym and try as hard as they can at school or work (the latter two of which are usually set up to not really benefit you unless you’re already wealthy with good connections, or at least make it much more difficult, and the former can be tough if you have said demanding job or have any health issues), they don’t acknowledge that they should be doing these things for themselves. If they do manage to do that, it’s an unhealthily ‘fuck everyone I don’t ne… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/10/22 11:41 PM |
| 2 | Men cannot talk to women the same way they talk to men, it is bad advice to tell men to treat women like they would their guy friends.Oh man, maybe you are actually funny lmao So are we talking censorship or demonitisation? Either way, goalposts aside, a person getting kicked off of a social media platform isn’t censorship, any more than someone getting kicked out of the local pub for shouting obscenities is. You don’t have a right to a platform, nor the right to make money off of a platform. The right to free speech (as defined by US law specifically, mind, because the whole world is not the US) is the right to say what you w… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/08/22 10:30 AM |
| 1 | Men cannot talk to women the same way they talk to men, it is bad advice to tell men to treat women like they would their guy friends.Oh my goodness this might actually explain one of my coworker’s behaviour! He seriously doesn’t mean anything rude/pushy with it, he does it to everyone, will stop doing it if asked, is always very kind, but just does get hella close, and we are usually talking in a small group (rounds, consults, etc). He played sports his whole life basically. Just a big friendly giant kind of dude haha. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/08/22 04:56 AM |
| 7 | Men cannot talk to women the same way they talk to men, it is bad advice to tell men to treat women like they would their guy friends.Dude, Andrew Tate is a legit dangerous misogynist and Steven Crowder is a right wing reactionary. Maybe pick people who are actually comedians? Chapelle is a good example — dude had some bad takes but I don’t think he’s dangerous. You’re showing your hand by making Andrew Tate and Steven Crowder your examples for “cancelled” male “comedians”. Steven Crowder’s YouTube channel has almost 6 million subscribers, and Andrew Tate’s pyramid scheme means millions of people see his stuff on tiktok alone … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/08/22 03:36 AM |
| 9 | Men cannot talk to women the same way they talk to men, it is bad advice to tell men to treat women like they would their guy friends.I mean, I honestly don’t think very many comedians have actually been fully “cancelled”. Chapelle still gets paid millions for specials, there’s still a ton of male comedians making rape jokes, racism jokes, etc. Getting “cancelled” doesn’t really do much, it just means a bunch of people didn’t like something someone did. If a person still has a huge platform, they can hardly be considered cancelled. Even Amy Schumer isn’t really cancelled even though people have been railing against her for yea… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/08/22 10:08 PM |
| 15 | Men cannot talk to women the same way they talk to men, it is bad advice to tell men to treat women like they would their guy friends.I mean I’ve met many men who can’t take jokes either. It just depends on the person. A lot of people can’t take jokes well because of a history of abuse or mistreatment, some can’t take them due to systemic bigotry (sexism (both towards men and women), racism, etc). Some people just plain don’t like pointed/roast jokes. The way I’ve explained it is that when the joke lines up with either a deep seated source of bigotry or disadvantage the person has, it’s like hearing the same joke over and over… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/08/22 09:40 PM |
| 8 | Men cannot talk to women the same way they talk to men, it is bad advice to tell men to treat women like they would their guy friends.Ooh man I had this once. The kind of relationship where I was his only friend. I had to teach him how to cook. Honestly, his mom played a huge part in it, she never made him do anything, he was the golden boy who could do no wrong. Luckily he was willing to learn and wasn’t resentful, didn’t develop any big anti-woman or red/black pill thoughts. I’m glad he’s doing better now, but we were never meant to be a couple for sure. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/08/22 09:35 PM |
| 13 | Men cannot talk to women the same way they talk to men, it is bad advice to tell men to treat women like they would their guy friends.Yup. People are people. No man is identical to another man just like no woman is identical to another woman. Some people like jokes and teasing, other people don’t. Some people will be compatible with you, others won’t. Some people are shitty, others are generally good people. I don’t particularly identify with gender as a concept so maybe that lends itself to it being a bit easier for me to look at things like this, but damn… both sides just have to chill tf out. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/08/22 08:44 PM |
| 18 | Men cannot talk to women the same way they talk to men, it is bad advice to tell men to treat women like they would their guy friends.Yup. When people say that guys should treat women the same way they treat guys, I understand why it can be misunderstood; it’s really just asking to treat women like people. Don’t approach every woman expecting a romantic interaction to flourish, don’t expect that every woman will like you, expect that some women are going to be incompatible with you or even just plain shitty people, etc. It’s far more simple than everyone’s making it out to be. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/08/22 08:41 PM |
| 5 | A big part of why sex is less important to women is that sex is one of the few ways that a man can get affirmation of his attractivenessThissssss. Have seen so many of my male patients who believe that affirmation and compliments aren’t necessary if “you’re strong enough / manly enough”. But when we dive deeper into their mental health, they have a fundamental lack of positive reinforcement in their relationships, romantic or otherwise, and it’s almost like a traumatic coping mechanism to go the opposite way. ie, a man isn’t raised by positively influencing parents, he is surrounded by friends who neg/pick on each other rather t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/08/22 07:54 PM |
| 8 | A big part of why sex is less important to women is that sex is one of the few ways that a man can get affirmation of his attractivenessThis right here. I’m what I would consider a solid 5, and I really don’t get many compliments from people on a daily basis. That doesn’t bother me. I think the problem is the societal assumption (more predominantly for men) that compliments must be romantically oriented, they must be flirting. I compliment my friends regardless of gender, but as an LGBTQ+ person, I don’t really tend to hang around people who hold the “men and women can’t be platonic friends” thing, which I think exacerbates the … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/08/22 07:21 PM |
| 9 | A big part of why sex is less important to women is that sex is one of the few ways that a man can get affirmation of his attractivenessI’ve unfortunately had this happen to me a lot, where I just wanted to compliment a man in a friendly manner (I never focus on physical appearance, am polite in my approach, and am always ready to leave him alone if he doesn’t respond/reciprocate because I don’t expect or feel entitled to people’s attention even if I compliment them), and they immediately interpret it as flirting and start to get intensely flirty. When I inevitably get uncomfortable and politely explain that I’m not looking to f… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/08/22 07:13 PM |
| 5 | I'm going to a police station to ask how aligation of rape our handled.Can concur. Used to work with a youth justice league in high school where kids who committed misdemeanours could come and go through a trial of peers to get community service rather than go to family court. It was free and a good learning experience for volunteers like myself. However, dealing with the cops was a dangerous game because not only was I quite anti-cop, but also wasn’t afraid to ask questions. I got glared down and full on screamed at by cops, and I was a sixteen year old. If an adu… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 29/05/22 05:18 PM |
| 2 | stoicism and menNo prob! Yeah I’ve heard him say a few things that made me pull a bit of a face, and I have no doubt some of the people he’s associated with have some batshit views, but it’s also incredibly easy to ignore him. I think he’s just a weird dude with a platform haha | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 29/05/22 02:44 PM |
| 2 | stoicism and menI have to say this is maybe one of my favourite posts on the sub so far. I focused on existentialism and biological ethics while I studied philosophy but stoicism was also so fascinating. I did a deep thesis dive into the morality of suicide and all that, with a section devoted to male suicide and how it’s viewed differently, treated differently, etc. As a person who has been a sounding board for many folks (I am gender neutral but was socialised as a woman), I find the most common issues when d… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 28/05/22 10:44 PM |
| 8 | stoicism and menThe vibe I get off of Peterson is that it’s not everything that he says is problematic, but the man has some weird, weird tendencies when it comes to how people should act, and just generally being a bit off. He generally doesn’t say super egregious things, but he’s said some kind of bs things about women and attraction, and his 12 Rules book, while helpful for some (I will not deny this, I have heard testimonies from people who did get help from the book), sometimes reads to me like the people … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 28/05/22 10:30 PM |
| 1 | Gun control is only part of the solution.It’s both a comfort and a sadness isn’t it, knowing you’re not alone in this. Thank you so much for your kindness, here’s to hoping both our days are safe and pleasant. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 28/05/22 02:14 PM |
| 1 | Gun control is only part of the solution.Yup, that’s what I was saying! The point was that mentally ill people are usually not violent, much less committing violence at the level of a mass shooter, not that mass shooters are mentally ill. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 28/05/22 10:31 AM |
| 4 | Gun control is only part of the solution.I agree with you, but on the contrary, I see the right wing (and honestly the left wing too just in more PC ways) bring up mental health all the time, but as a non-sequitur, and often in a very accusatory way that obviously isn’t helping. Just like the vast majority of society, the vast majority of mentally I’ll people aren’t even close to violent, much less mass shooter levels of violent. After all, not all dangerous people are mentally ill, and even if they are, many are undiagnosed, which is … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 28/05/22 07:02 AM |
| 3 | Gun control is only part of the solution.Thank you, kind stranger. I’ve been suicidal for as long as I can remember so it’s hard to see a life without it (in a dark sense, it becomes a bit of a comfort), but I do really appreciate your kind words. Many people only care about suicidal people after they’re already gone; I hope we can all fix that together. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 28/05/22 12:45 AM |
| 14 | Gun control is only part of the solution.I say this as a person who is suicidal, I am all for psychological checks before gun ownership. I should not have a gun, and I am within enough of my consciousness to not own one, but some mentally unwell people aren’t. We owe it to those people and society at large to keep guns out of their hands. Suicides, accidents, and yes, mass shootings, become far more common when a gun is easily available. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 27/05/22 10:03 PM |
| 1 | Books on male biology?Are you trying to look for a biological basis for competitive natures in men? I studied biology and work in healthcare, so I might be able to help, but you’ll find that most sources nowadays will never lean on a nature only or nurture only basis, since there’s not a whole lot of human behaviour that is purely one or the other, there’s usually at least some small aspect of both at hand. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 27/05/22 07:26 AM |
| 33 | What do you think of the possible future restrictions on abortion? Will men feel the effects of it?Considering every abortion has a man/AMAB person involved at some point (ie to make a pregnancy happen), it will absolutely affect men. Abortion, as much as some people may shout (the “no uterus no opinion” camp), is not just a women’s/AFAB issue, it’s everyone’s issue. I’m glad that this space as a whole supports abortion because it’s antithetical to be anti-abortion but pro-parental dissolution (signing away rights and the obligation to financially support the kid). | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 27/05/22 07:24 AM |
| 6 | Why is it that some people say "it's a bad thing that most masculinist are right wingers"?Couldn’t have said it better myself. When conservative/traditional belief systems are the source of many misandric social/economic/political/medical norms, and their whole mantra revolves around regressing to times when those norms were even worse, it’s not a shocker to see why taking a conservative outlook to men’s rights would be harmful. Contrary to popular belief (perpetuated by the left, there’s one of our faults), men being in power in the past was not good/uplifting for all men, not even … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 23/05/22 11:00 AM |
| 1 | Showerthought: Feminist women saying, "Don't approach me unless you are a feminist man" is A LOT like Christian girls only dating within the same denominationAs a small counterpoint, when it comes to online dating (especially for AFAB people), a lot of the job is in filtering. Putting certain things in my bio was there equally to show who I was and to drive certain people away/attract others. Especially when a bio only has so many characters available to type in, it’s way easier to say “Feminist Men Only” or “Christian Men Only” than explain all the reasons why that’s important or why being the opposite is incompatible. In practice, I do think a lot … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 23/05/22 10:16 AM |
| 6 | Question about “hate speech” common terms to categorise unwanted behaviour such as misogyny, racism, transphobia, e.c.t.Nah, some stuff is just hate speech. Do people overreact sometimes? Sure, but in the true definition of hate speech/crime, even most internet mudslinging wouldn’t count. Some shit is bigoted/harmful and should be deemed as such. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 23/05/22 10:05 AM |
| 6 | Why is it that some people say "it's a bad thing that most masculinist are right wingers"?Everyone here has great answers. I’d also throw in that traditional/conservative values and belief systems create a lot of of the institutionalised misandry that we see, same for misogyny. We’re (meaning those of us who fight for men’s/women’s rights) constantly fighting back against their regressive outlook. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 23/05/22 10:01 AM |
| 1 | it's interesting that women get to be traumatized by not by able to do a hypothetical abortion but men are ridiculed for disliking being circumcisedI could certainly agree with you that some of these issues are related to the bodily autonomy of men/AMAB people (I personally find unnecessary circumcision, the draft, and the fact that law sometimes encodes men out of being listed as victims of rape to be the three biggest cases of men having their bodily autonomy violated). However, there are a laundry list of bodily autonomy issues I could list for AFAB people/women, and make the argument that because of that, I would roll my eyes at men for… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 13/05/22 05:05 AM |
| 1 | Men supporting abortion rights by sharing their stories… and still getting shamedI totally agree with you. after all there’s no abortion that’s occurred without a man being involved at some point in the process unless we’re seeing a Virgin Mary sitch going on. I don’t like when people make the blanket statement that men can’t have an opinion because they are obviously involved; the only pass I’ll give people sometimes is when they tell men who aren’t at all involved with a specific abortion itself (ie just randos on the Internet being gross about someone’s story of abortion)… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 09/05/22 03:09 PM |
| 2 | male role modes in tv/filmOh my god, yeah the finale of remake Battlestar Galactica ruined my like whole month when I watched it. My mom and I watched the original a bunch since we were both sci fi nerds, but the remake made us cringe by the end. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 09/05/22 07:44 AM |
| 2 | male role modes in tv/filmNo trouble at all! I attach a lot of meaning to Paterson because I watched it at a sort of turning point in my life, and it’s almost sort of what I aspire my life to be, even if I know I’ll probably end up being a bit more solo. And definitely! Magical realism is my favourite genre, it kind of syncs up with my mind, due to a condition I have; magical realism is a favourite of people who used to be kids with big imaginations. My go to for starter movies in the genre are most of Charlie Kaufman’s … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 09/05/22 07:19 AM |
| 6 | male role modes in tv/filmI read this to my colleague who is a huge GoT fan and he said you nailed the description perfectly, so I’m gonna take your word for it. I think the way one of my old professors described it was eating the best tub of ice cream you’ve ever had but when you get to the bottom, there’s a dead rat in it. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 09/05/22 04:35 AM |
| 3 | male role modes in tv/filmI really have to watch GoT, I feel like I missed the huge cultural phenomenon but I read the books so I feel like I’ve gotta go watch it. And maybe just not watch the last couple of seasons… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 09/05/22 04:27 AM |
| 17 | How has being a mens rights activist affected your dating/social life? Are you "open" about it?It gets me a whole cornucopia of reactions that’s for sure! For context, I am gender neutral but was socialised as a woman, and have dated men, women, non binary folks, the whole lot. I’ve found that men tended to be intrigued then fascinated, women tended to be hesitant but then interested, and nonbinary folks tended to be the most mixed bag, I only had one date ever get miffed by my men’s advocacy, but they were overall not a good fit, so no skin off my back. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 09/05/22 04:20 AM |
| 6 | male role modes in tv/filmThis is maybe an odd lens to look at this through, but hear me out; I completely agree with you, and the primary reason why is because I legitimately cannot remember very many positive realistic male role models from things I watched as a child; I was socialised as a girl (am gender neutral, it’s not a concept I identify with now) and didn’t have a male role model in my life so I got most of my male socialisation from media. I remember wanting Mace Windu to be my dad, really liked Remus Lupin, t… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 09/05/22 04:17 AM |
| 6 | male role modes in tv/filmAgreed — I find that if there is a female villain, she always has her motivations explained far better than the majority of male villains in media. Not that they’re always good or well written motivations, mind you, but that’s a widespread problem. I am glad to see more male heroes get slightly more complex motivations and well written flaws (ie they’re not pure good boys who are always strong and always on the right side of the story and their only flaw is just being TOO GOOD), but I still want… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 09/05/22 04:07 AM |
| 1 | it's interesting that women get to be traumatized by not by able to do a hypothetical abortion but men are ridiculed for disliking being circumcisedI agree with some of your points re: some people pulling the “men dont’ get an opinion” line (it’s bs since every abortion does involve a man, nobody’s out here doing a Virgin Mary), but the vast majority of people advocating for abortion, including feminists, aren’t using it as a weapon against men, or are upset because we’re losing power over men, we just want ownership over our bodies, we’re losing power over our own bodies. “Being irresponsible” is a factor in some abortions, and the fault o… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 09/05/22 03:57 AM |
| 5 | The reduction of the pro-life argument to "controlling women's bodies"Yup. The problem is that some of the trigger laws (ie laws that, upon Roe’s dissolution) that would automatically make abortion illegal define abortifacients extremely loosely. For example, some IUDs (usually the copper and Mirena) can be used as emergency contraception (think like Plan B), but they’re also very widely used just as regular contraceptive methods. A lot of the lawmakers in these states are trying to backpeddle a bit and say they won’t make IUDs and Plan B illegal, but I don’t part… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 08/05/22 10:29 PM |
| 23 | it's interesting that women get to be traumatized by not by able to do a hypothetical abortion but men are ridiculed for disliking being circumcisedSpeaking as a person whose body would be affected by these bans, I understand where you’re coming from, but this isn’t the best way to have this conversation. I totally get that if this is just a rant, we all need the space to talk about these things, but if you’re trying to win minds, this won’t go over well. This post is a bit more akin (but not as severe IMO) to the people who use FGM as a bludgeon to silence anti-circumcision advocates Being pregnant when you don’t want to be is an impossibl… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 08/05/22 09:43 PM |
| 9 | it's interesting that women get to be traumatized by not by able to do a hypothetical abortion but men are ridiculed for disliking being circumcisedGotta agree with you here. Boiling this down to someone like me “being worried about not being able to get a hypothetical abortion” smacks of the same vibe I got from super pro-cop people who told me, a Black person, that I shouldn’t be worried about getting shot by the cops because it hasn’t happened yet and probably won’t. I’ve worked in men’s rights for a few years now, and before that was a more radical feminist (TERFy too, very glad I got out of those toxic spaces), but even now, this post … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 08/05/22 09:30 PM |
| 7 | The reduction of the pro-life argument to "controlling women's bodies"I’d say the take that “all men want to do is control women’s bodies” is a completely false generalisation for sure, not only because it’s not all men, but also that many very vocal antiabortion advocates are women as well. However, there absolutely is an element of control over women’s bodies in the minds of some of the people enacting these kinds of batshit legislation. It’s why you see some* of these legislators/judges/political individuals talking about making birth control methods illegal, t… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 08/05/22 09:25 PM |
| 3 | Men supporting abortion rights by sharing their stories… and still getting shamedIt’s definitely a constant game of avoiding a bad case of brain worms, either from hypocrisy / outright bigotry on both sides or just generally knowing the world’s going to hell in a hand basket. I’m right there with you. I know I could never be conservative, and I appreciate that being an even handed leftist isn’t easy, but damn it does get emotionally tiring. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/05/22 09:54 PM |
| 7 | Men supporting abortion rights by sharing their stories… and still getting shamedYes, same! I hate the “well we should give all men vasectomies” tactic the left uses; I get what they’re trying to do, but it’s not the same, the hypothetical isn’t that helpful, and there are far better arguments for the cause. Also, some people get too into it, like they really believe it should be done. It always put a bad taste in my mouth. (Not to mention they always say that vasectomies are reversible and uh, no urologist worth their salt will guarantee that a vasectomy is reversible. It’s… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/05/22 09:31 PM |
| 2 | Men supporting abortion rights by sharing their stories… and still getting shamedI’m not missing that, I did state that in the sense that the raw numbers of support aren’t that different, but the difference I see is in vocality — we’re in agreement. On both sides, the extremes tend to be women/AFAB people, most likely due to the physical severity abortion has for people who can get pregnant who are for, and the tend toward traditional gender roles and religious sentiment in those who are opposed. Most men I’ve come across are usually quiet supporters, or have a relatively re… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/05/22 06:34 PM |
| 3 | Men supporting abortion rights by sharing their stories… and still getting shamedYeah, I really don’t like the idea of withholding support. If we all did that, no one would support anyone but their hyper specific interests and no one but the people who already have the power will benefit. Sometimes I’m on edge about stating things so clearly due to past experiences (ie got death/rape threats from the first few MRA groups I joined), so I sincerely thank you for putting it plainly. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/05/22 06:29 PM |
| 15 | Men supporting abortion rights by sharing their stories… and still getting shamedYup, it’s sad — it’s one thing to be conscious of personal biases and history when talking about a topic, but that shouldn’t be something exclusive to men, and thoroughly weaponised, too, it should be something everyone does. As far as I’m concerned, anyone interacting in good faith deserves to be in the conversation, and I go in assuming that, let myself be proven wrong if need be. I find that shutting people out of conversations only alienates them, which can very easily morph into hatred. I’d… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/05/22 09:18 AM |
| 18 | Men supporting abortion rights by sharing their stories… and still getting shamedYup, Casey and Roe were both pretty wobbly when it comes to legal precedence; Obama and Biden both promised to codify abortion access rather than just relying on Roe, but they didn’t. It’s why I always make sure people on the left know that it’s not just conservative politicians failing us, it’s everyone in power not doing their job to protect us, one party is just actively making things worse, and the other one is sitting on their thumbs and letting it get worse without much pushback. Obviously… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/05/22 08:39 AM |
| 9 | Men supporting abortion rights by sharing their stories… and still getting shamedExactly! It’s the same thing I tell to my patients who have troubles with their partners, or parents with their kids — are you listening to understand, or are you listening to win? It’s easy to turn a gotcha! into a “hey, here’s why I think this way, what do you think about this?” and I’ve won far more hearts with the latter. And thank you so much, that really makes my day! I wouldn’t be as decent of a human being if I didn’t; I was full of a lot of hate, and unproductive hate at that. It wasn’t… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/05/22 08:23 AM |
| 14 | Men supporting abortion rights by sharing their stories… and still getting shamed+1 to this because some people do say some extremely heinous stuff about men and boys, and particularly ADOS men and boys that I can’t ignore and call out on sight. Some of the “men are trash” talk is just trollish or minor league stuff that’s easy to ignore, but some people have perfected those dog whistles so well that the people who parrot them don’t even know how harmful the implication can be (re: how the US media constantly calls unarmed Black boys — children — men or Black males, while ca… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/05/22 07:46 AM |
| 5 | Men supporting abortion rights by sharing their stories… and still getting shamedI agree there is still a heavy imbalance, but the vast majority of vocal abortion supporters are women, and the majority of the people you’ll see discussing abortion are women. This isn’t to say the actual numbers are way off — women are generally more in favour of abortion than men (support has almost always been higher in women than men, but not by that much — men have been getting more prolife since the mid 2000s though, which is a part of an overall shift to the right in men, largely due to … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/05/22 07:38 AM |
| 13 | Men supporting abortion rights by sharing their stories… and still getting shamedNot much on the Internet gets under my skin personally any more, honestly that’s the only reason I’m here lol. If I still let things get under my skin, I’d still be a whacko TERF type; getting out of my comfort zone and getting the occasional rough go of things (ie at the worst, it was rape and death threats from MRAs I didn’t know were staunchly the hateful type of conservative) was the only way I got to where I am now, where I can actually rationally look at things. It’s why I tend not to soun… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/05/22 07:23 AM |
| 14 | Men supporting abortion rights by sharing their stories… and still getting shamedExactly. We all have far more enemies in common than we have differences. It’s actually one of the reasons why I started getting involved with groups I originally opposed, either in full or at least just speaking with them. Doing so allowed me to convince a few prolife people that their stance of “well I wouldn’t get an abortion because I think it’s against my religion, but I wouldn’t stop someone else” is pro-choice. I was able to better counter arguments once I learned where they were coming f… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/05/22 07:17 AM |
| 14 | Men supporting abortion rights by sharing their stories… and still getting shamedI get this perspective and I don’t disagree with you, but if there is to be more mass support for men’s issues, there has to be some crossover. Talking purely strategically, most people hear MRA and they immediately think bigoted, anti-abortion, anti-woman, anti-everything-good-and-lovely, when that’s nowhere near the case. The longer we allow this movement to be coloured by the most vocally harmful, the longer it will go unsupported. Not putting support behind the bodily autonomy argument will … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/05/22 07:12 AM |
| 31 | Men supporting abortion rights by sharing their stories… and still getting shamedIt’s really saddening because it’s so childish and so unproductive, but it really shows how on edge people can get. I see it from every single group out there, everyone’s nerves are raw down to the core and they get mad in an instant, use the Twitter logic pipeline (ie a tweet that says I love pancakes will have replies demanding to know why they hate waffles, even though that wasn’t stated at all), and just generally pull a return to monkey in the realm of higher brain functioning. I see where … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/05/22 06:46 AM |
| 3 | The feminist narrative seems to go against the concept of rehabilitation, and it worries me.Yeah in general I find the prison system’s punitive focus to be less a product of feminism and more a product of the prison-industrial complex and the idea that criminals are subhuman scum who deserve the terrible treatment they get in prison. This does result in men bearing the brunt of this attitude, due to the skew in women vs men who are convicted, and the assumption that men are inherently more likely to be criminals just because they are men and not the more likely case that it’s due to a … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/05/22 04:20 AM |
| 1 | The feminist narrative seems to go against the concept of rehabilitation, and it worries me.For clarity, I don’t know the whole situation of the French anchor, and am not posing judgement on him personally due to that. However — going to someone’s place for dinner and drinks alone ≠ guaranteed approval for groping. I understand why men can be worried about acting wrong in a way they didn’t know was wrong, and I do think people blow things out of proportion (ie Internet mobs trying to ruin people’s lives) but the kind of thinking the OP of this comment (ie not you, but the one you’re re… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/05/22 04:16 AM |
| 2 | The feminist narrative seems to go against the concept of rehabilitation, and it worries me.I can trust you that a lot of people who have catcalled me laughed / reacted more when I got more scared or outwardly pissed off. It is definitely playground behaviour like pulling hair or calling names, the intent is to get a reaction, and usually, a negative one is expected. Dudes know we don’t like it. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/05/22 04:08 AM |
| 5 | On Risk-TakingYeah I’d rather do away with these sort of algorithmic / stat based price changes entirely. It never made any sense to me that you could be charged more for having a red car (I had to cackle at myself when I heard it was a myth), but it follows the same logic re: risk taking. From my experience on the road, I find my highest risk for encountering scary drivers was in richer neighbourhoods, didn’t matter whether it was a man or a woman behind the wheel, folks who live paycheck to paycheck just co… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/05/22 04:06 AM |
| 11 | If you're going to be Pro-Choice, be Pro-Choice for both parentsTo be fair, I used to be against financial abortion because I had a father who completely left my mom and I, and never once has tried to contact me, which put my mom and I into a lot of struggle. I thought it was evil to abandon a mother and kid because the mother didn’t get that choice. I was angry and really upset about being abandoned because not only did it happen to me, but I never met a single father before I was like 15; I was resentful that these guys just got to walk away. As I got olde… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/05/22 01:10 AM |
| 8 | I believe that Weaponized Incompetence existsI like this take the best — the concept absolutely exists, isn’t gendered, and should be used when it is actually being weaponised. For example, I wouldn’t say a man who doesn’t know how to do a household chore is weaponising incompetence, he just doesn’t know how to do it, and society puts a burden on everyone (but I think especially men) to not ask for help, so it comes off as a deliberate slight when in reality it’s just a lack of knowledge and the pressure to be self sufficient. I once dated… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/05/22 01:03 AM |
| 7 | Roe v WadeIt’s why I’m so glad I found this group. I was told that basically all MRAs were just raging misogynists who wanted things to go back to the “golden age” where women/AFAB people had far fewer rights. Once I started pulling back from the toxic places that taught me that, it was far easier to see that 1) not all MRAs are like that and 2) some of them don’t want the “golden years” back because those also sucked for men, and a lot of those problems either still exist today or have mutated into other… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 03/05/22 05:08 PM |
| 11 | Roe v WadeSome other folks have mentioned this as well but as a person who’s not a man, I hope groups like this and other non-prolife dominated mrm spaces will take this chance to solidify that we do support abortion rights; I think the conservative/pretty heavily misogynistic MRA types have skewed the conversation so far that a lot of people on the left hear MRA and immediately think bigot rather than “someone who supports men’s rights”. The people striking down roe are the same ones who are keeping men … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 03/05/22 03:12 PM |
| 1 | Has anyone else noticed misandry in more right leaning men’s right spaces?Definitely agree with the stereotype threat and how it can affect people differently — men believing that because they are men they must have been in control of the situation; I have a feeling that can cause a lot of internalised guilt when they really are the victim. I can say that for sure I think it’s much easier to pretend that you were not in control of a situation if you’re a woman (I don’t identify as one but was socialised as one) — see female domestic abusers who flip the script and bla… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 19/04/22 12:05 AM |
| 1 | Has anyone else noticed misandry in more right leaning men’s right spaces?I wish it had been a joke, but dude was completely serious — I think it was probably a case of a point attempted but made extremely poorly. It did remind me a lot of the arguments I’d heard in right wing circles though, which were always upsetting. And just to clarify, many individuals only realise what happened to them was rape after the fact, sometimes years or even decades. Many don’t take legal action on that front. I was the victim of three sexual harassment/assault incidents, but it took m… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 18/04/22 07:51 PM |
| 2 | Has anyone else noticed misandry in more right leaning men’s right spaces?Oh for sure, it’s definitely not a hallmark of the right wing verbatim (I actually had to check the guy’s profile to make sure he wasn’t a troll, it didn’t look like it, but obviously could be), but rather the more general misandrist assumption that men should be expected to be violent just because they’re men. I’ve honestly seen that belief stated in different ways on both sides of the aisle, right and left wing. On the right it’s more so used as an excuse (think fundie types who think it’s fin… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 18/04/22 07:12 PM |
| 2 | Has anyone else noticed misandry in more right leaning men’s right spaces?Agreed, it’s a lot of very classic tribalism, just dressed up a bit. It’s very perfomative, which obviously most things are to a point, but it can get excessive. Yup, I grew up around fundies, so like really into it religious right wing people. You definitely could draw lines from their logic to left wing talking points, just with a few swapped words. I always used to say that a fundie will tell you to your face that you’re going to burn in hell, but the liberal might pretend to still be your fr… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 17/04/22 10:19 PM |
| 2 | Has anyone else noticed misandry in more right leaning men’s right spaces?Oh my goodness yes, the culture of perfection on the left is sometimes very scary. Even within communities like LGBTQ+, I’ve gotten shit for being a bisexual, because that’s somehow transphobic, and I should use the label of pansexual instead. It’s not everyone, but you can never tell when you’re not going to be up to snuff with someone. I’m mixed too, and have gotten shit from both Black and White people on the left because I’m not what they want me to be. The left is not judgement free, by ANY… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 17/04/22 10:10 PM |
| 3 | Has anyone else noticed misandry in more right leaning men’s right spaces?Highly agreed! I think my first taste of learning that the left wasn’t perfect and immune to bigotry was the fact that folks from northern states had a kind of pride that “hey at least we’re not the south” and when I brought up that just because a state is north of the mason Dixon line or a place like California doesn’t mean there’s less racism, it’s just different, like how school districts in NYC have some of the most segregated schools due to income inequality, and I got some very accusatory … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 17/04/22 09:42 PM |
| 4 | Has anyone else noticed misandry in more right leaning men’s right spaces?Could not have said it better myself, this is an excellent breakdown. As a person who used to be around some pretty radical feminists (after some trauma related to men and growing up with fundies, I swung hard to the other side and got pulled in — luckily I’m far out of that now) and goodness yeah they’re totally useless against elitism and power structures. God forbid it’s a white radical feminist, because then there’s a very good chance she’ll step on Black women, Latina women, Asian women, an… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 17/04/22 05:14 PM |
| 3 | Has anyone else noticed misandry in more right leaning men’s right spaces?Goodness this turned out to be a mini novel, I’m so sorry! tl;dr is that I agree with you lmao, please excuse my rambling! Oh totally. I think the bible overall does treat women as subhuman, and has done more to subjugate them (speaking as someone who grew up with fundies and socialised as a woman, it was hell being treated as simultaneously a harlet and a pure being, being told I was being treated equally because “we’re not sexist, we actually respect our women” but then being told I could not … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 17/04/22 05:10 PM |
| 4 | Has anyone else noticed misandry in more right leaning men’s right spaces?Something can be both misandrist and misogynist at the same time, they’re not mutually exclusive. The traditional concept of gender roles is both misandrist and misogynist. In fact, a lot of things are both misandrist and misogynist, like the expectation that women are always more motherly and nurturing is a misogynist and sexist assumption, which is one of the backing reasons to why people have such misandrist views about fathers, which is also sexism (along with many of the societal preconcept… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 16/04/22 11:58 PM |
| 3 | Has anyone else noticed misandry in more right leaning men’s right spaces?Couldn’t agree more. I had to scroll through the dude’s comments to see if he was a troll, and it seriously didn’t look like it. Obviously still could be, right, but like fucking yikes. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 16/04/22 11:43 PM |
| 4 | Has anyone else noticed misandry in more right leaning men’s right spaces?Being against raising wages to a living standard would bring many men out of poverty, most of the homeless population are men (many of which were driven there by income inequality, or lack of mental healthcare/drug rehab, which making free tends to not be popular amongst conservatives), so being actively against policies that would directly help seriously improve the lives of a lot of men seems pretty misandrist to me. Sexism can happen to people who may need an abortion. You do not see how abor… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 16/04/22 11:35 PM |
| 3 | Has anyone else noticed misandry in more right leaning men’s right spaces?Yes, it is a common theme. A lot of male advocacy has to deal with fixing things that severely affect a lot of men’s lives like homelessness and the gap of care for men’s mental health, both of which are solved by measures that right wingers tend to be very against. I never said every right winger is a misandrist, I said these ideas are common in right wing men’s rights spaces, which I have personally experienced, I should know, they sent me a lot of death threats. Some of them are not a particu… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 16/04/22 11:12 PM |
| 7 | Has anyone else noticed misandry in more right leaning men’s right spaces???? Calling out a trend in a group is cherry picking? I hope you don’t ever talk about how feminists tend to say some (either covert or overt) misandrist things, because apparently that’s cherry picking by your definition. And not to mention, I’d read a few of the comments on this post, a lot of right wing/conservative individuals have very misandric beliefs, and are the cornerstone of some of society’s most misandric ideas from religious based ideas to the proliferation or war and therefore spe… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 16/04/22 10:43 PM |
| 3 | Has anyone else noticed misandry in more right leaning men’s right spaces?Oh definitely not. The comment (disagreeing that fathers have it easy) was responding to the post (saying that fathers have it easy because mothers have the huge share of physical consequences when it comes to pregnancy and generally childcare as well, but wasn’t as nuanced as some people wanted). The comment was almost purely focused on how fathers work just as hard as mothers, but started out by saying something akin to “hey fathers have it hard too, I just read a story about how this guy kill… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 16/04/22 08:57 PM |
| 9 | Has anyone else noticed misandry in more right leaning men’s right spaces?Highly agreed — tradcons sincerely laid the bedrock for the disposable male way of thinking and acting too. Never seen a tradcon get more frothingly excited when they talk about either going to or forcing men to fight in war. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 16/04/22 08:03 PM |
| 5 | Has anyone else noticed misandry in more right leaning men’s right spaces?Wow. And I thought the fundies I grew up around were crazy. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 16/04/22 06:56 PM |
| 17 | Has anyone else noticed misandry in more right leaning men’s right spaces?If I had one, I’d be tossing an award your way, could not have said it better myself. Grew up around fundies and they are THE biggest misandrists I know, in some of the worst ways too. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 16/04/22 05:58 PM |
| 3 | Has anyone else noticed misandry in more right leaning men’s right spaces?Well yeah, that’s a given, they’re prone to just about every flavour of hatred, one way or another. I just expected better of men’s rights groups at the time — I wasn’t aware that the bulk of the visible movement was so heavily right wing, but that was when I was just starting out, so I took a break but then found better men’s rights groups. Unfortunately (or fortunately, kind of, like the world’s smallest silver lining), I figured it out real quick, seeing as I am both neither a man nor white, … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 16/04/22 04:19 PM |
| 6 | "Weaponized incompetence" is just code for "men need to listen to women and do what they're told"Agreed; I have unfortunately dealt with weaponised incompetence from both men and women, it’s obviously not a purely gender driven action, but social media has driven it to be considered as one, and subsequently used a lot of the time when someone just wants to complain about a male partner. I fully believe that one of the double edged swords of traditional gender roles is that a lot of men leave their parents homes not knowing how to do a lot of basic household tasks (as do women, but it is unf… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 15/04/22 07:05 AM |
| 7 | Navigating mental health for men is like trying to find hay in a needle stackYup yup, agreed. I always encourage patients I work with to see both male and female therapists to get a feel for if they have a preference, but I say the same thing for different modalities (Cognitive behavioral vs dialectal behavioral for example), in person vs virtual, etc. Finding a therapist really is a Goldilocks kind of situation, gotta keep trying until you find the right one. Just, maybe, don’t break into the therapist’s house, that’s the only differentiation from the OG Goldilocks stor… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 04/04/22 11:55 PM |
| 3 | Navigating mental health for men is like trying to find hay in a needle stackTrue true. I’ve unfortunately found the same for male therapists in my own experience. Some people need that same gender (or at least same experience, since I’m not a woman, but was socialised as one) insight in order to form a comfortable therapeutic bond. I always recommend for people to try both male and female therapists, but I do find that most of the patients I work with end up preferring same gender matchups. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 04/04/22 11:52 PM |
| 12 | are older single men happy? like 50+I think a lot of the isolation that affects men as a whole is much more widespread and harder to alleviate for older men especially. Note even how old men are stereotyped as being creepy while old women are stereotyped as being lovely grandmas — it’s a lot easier for older women to approach strangers than old men. Trust me, during a particularly butch stint of my life, I worked at an old folks home, and some of the women used to nigh near sexually harass me because I was 6 ft, looked like a dude… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 01/04/22 05:24 AM |
| 1 | Male Birth Control, and the Baffling Reactions To ItYup, don’t disagree with anything there, but that wasn’t really the crux of my point. Not trying to be rude or anything, I agree with you on the whole democracy is a farce thing. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 28/03/22 06:32 PM |
| 3 | Male Birth Control, and the Baffling Reactions To ItThis actually is right on the money — if you want stats to back it up, about 8.6% of women have reported reproductive coercion while about 10.4% of men have. Those stats are close, but definitely higher for men. Here’s the report: https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/nisvs_report2010-a.pdf | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 28/03/22 04:14 PM |
| 2 | Male Birth Control, and the Baffling Reactions To ItPeople do protect property though, you make sure property that’s important to you is “kept safe” by locking it away or keeping it away from people/things that will damage it. Some of them see women like this. People “protected” slaves because they were property the slaveholders needed in order to do the work they were forced into — in the sense that they would keep them on the farm, and treat their medical conditions to a point. The same thing applies to men who see women as property, which a lo… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 28/03/22 03:13 PM |
| 2 | Male Birth Control, and the Baffling Reactions To ItAnyone who lies about being on the pill is committing reproductive coercion (which imo should be considered rape, just as much as someone sabotaging someone’s birth control, damaging a condom on purpose, or stealthing) — but honestly if someone is worried about a person lying about being on the pill, that is a person you shouldn’t have sex with, just like anyone who absolutely refuses to wear condoms (for non medical/fit reasons)/use some form of birth control. If protection is important, then i… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 28/03/22 03:06 PM |
| 15 | Where is The Movement Most Lacking?Agreed; it’s really unfortunate that a lot of people’s first exposure to men’s advocacy are the more alt-right infiltrated spaces that have fallen so far off the misogyny cliff that people believe anyone advocating for men’s rights must be a raging sexist, homophobe, etc, on top of the already existing (and very strong) stigma against men in society that perpetuates a “men have all the rights therefore they don’t need advocacy” angle. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 27/03/22 08:24 PM |
| 1 | Male Birth Control, and the Baffling Reactions To ItHell of an essay because it’s a topic that’s created a lot of trauma for me — I can thank you for having a very non-pointed discussion with me for all of this conversation, but that statement was a bit dismissive. Have a good one. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 27/03/22 08:17 PM |
| 1 | Male Birth Control, and the Baffling Reactions To ItBut if that control comes at the cost of women’s health, then it’s not very effective control. If the argument is “Women have more control over reproduction simply because men aren’t the ones who are physically pregnant”, then yes, that is true, but no one is arguing against that. The problem is not unique to America obviously, it’s actually much worse in the rest of the world (and to the point about labels, I said exactly what you said, so if you were just reiterating the point, that’s all cool… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 27/03/22 07:57 PM |
| 2 | Male Birth Control, and the Baffling Reactions To ItI’m aware of that. The problem though is that plan b isnt always readily accessible. The cost can still be prohibitive, it can fail, and it’s not effective after a certain amount of time, or if the person taking it is over 175 pounds. The fact that our health education is so poor also prevents a lot of people (both men and women) from knowing those latter three facts, as well (let’s hope people read the labels, but speaking from the experience of a healthcare worker, that’s not always the case).… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 27/03/22 06:53 PM |
| 2 | Male Birth Control, and the Baffling Reactions To ItIt’s true that there’s some level of control through things like natural abortifacients, but in modern society, those aren’t as easily accessible; and even when they are, these methods are potentially incredibly harmful to the body and can cause serious side effects, up to and including death. Not to mention the problem of legality (see repubs discussing death penalties for getting abortions and attempting to make abortions for ectopic pregnancies illegal — obviously these policies are quite fri… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 27/03/22 05:39 PM |
| 6 | Male Birth Control, and the Baffling Reactions To ItRight? It’s the strangest goddamn argument that I can only imagine stems from the “dur men are dumb and can’t take care of themselves” angle that you see in commercials where men don’t know how a paper towel works. I wish people would address the real problem of men not going to seek medical care as often (due to stigma, cost, etc) and therefore having much worse health outcomes, the lower average age of death for men, and other things that actively negatively affect men’s health, but nope… gott… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 27/03/22 05:33 PM |
| 2 | Male Birth Control, and the Baffling Reactions To ItOh, I’ve seen these comments from both men and women! I myself am neither (I’ve been told agender is the best descriptor for me, I just never really clicked with gender as an identity) but was socialised as a woman. And I agree to a point, but unfortunately, there is a level where oppression is strong enough that women don’t have control over reproduction — that can occur anywhere that birth control / abortion aren’t easily accessible, and unfortunately that is more common than not. And there is… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 27/03/22 05:25 PM |
| 2 | Male Birth Control, and the Baffling Reactions To ItYeah, the risk/reward model is definitely at play here (also see: COVID vaccine rare risk of mild myocarditis vs COVID infection risk of fatal myocarditis) — what I hope is studied more are 1) the effects of long term, continuous use of OCPs and 2) the effects of starting birth control in teens and the effect that can have on mental health. I find the mood swing / depression risk are some of the side effects other medical workers brush off the most, but some of that is also just the blanket prob… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 27/03/22 04:58 PM |
| 7 | Male Birth Control, and the Baffling Reactions To ItYeah, they never make fun of more dangerous ailments, it’s always “man flu”, never “man cancer” or “man fibromyalgia”. As if the flu doesn’t already kill enough elderly and immunocompromised men. I wish COVID would have taught people the right lessons, one of then being we’re all susceptible to sickness, no one is above it, and keeping each other healthy and safe is the right thing to do. Old sexist beliefs die hard. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 27/03/22 04:15 PM |
| 6 | Male Birth Control, and the Baffling Reactions To ItThis is what always baffled me, from both sides. It’s so childish; yes, a lot of men (and women, good lord I’ve had some female colleagues in the field of medicine who think periods can’t be that bad because their period isn’t that bad) downplay periods, but that doesn’t mean the answer is berating men when they don’t feel well. Advocate for better sex/reproductive education, make healthcare accessible, and ffs, just. be. kind. My whole job is making people feel better and yet I STILL get people… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 27/03/22 03:59 PM |
| 4 | Male Birth Control, and the Baffling Reactions To ItI agree to a point, but as a person who was socialised as a woman and who lived in the Deep South, conservative men there absolutely think women are lesser, to the point where they’re not even people. I definitely think progressivism has lost the plot and essentially pendulum’d themselves from one extreme (men are the rulers and have all the power) to another (men don’t deserve rights, and women are better at everything). | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 27/03/22 03:54 PM |
| 15 | Male Birth Control, and the Baffling Reactions To ItOh god, right. Geez, you’d think after years of saying access to healthcare (having a triple bypass medically bankrupt you is an American right), the existence of gay men (spooooky), women with rights (god said girls are icky and also the source of all evil), and like, the concept of fun in general (something something deadly sins, but I as a republican senator am going to commit adultry and covet things so hard I destroy the environment over it), after ALL that… one of those things would have c… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 27/03/22 03:42 AM |
| 5 | The vast majority of biphobia is just completely unveiled misandryYup, always puts a sour taste in my mouth whenever I hear somebody say something to that affect. I hate it, especially when it comes from the lgbtq+ community because they of all people should know the level of bullshit we get for our sexuality/identities every day. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 25/03/22 03:09 PM |
| 2 | The vast majority of biphobia is just completely unveiled misandryRight back atcha! I’ve met a few — there’s literally 10’s of us 😂 Feel free to send me a chat message any time, always happy to hear rants, joy, the works. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 24/03/22 06:21 PM |
| 2 | The vast majority of biphobia is just completely unveiled misandryCouldn’t have said it better myself, you are spot on. It truly is so disappointing when other queer people drag each other down. Sexuality and gender are such complex, personal things, why argue over it? Why attack people over it? How do they not realise they sound identical to the bigots who give us shit everywhere else in the world? Identity and sexuality are supposed to be interesting, vibrant parts of your being to explore, not something to argue over. Nobody else’s experience of bisexuality… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 24/03/22 04:35 AM |
| 2 | The vast majority of biphobia is just completely unveiled misandryAgreed. It stifles a lot of the actually necessary examinations of intersectionality too, like understanding why some groups experience more/different oppression than others, and what we can do to make things better. It’s the pendulum doing its thing, I guess… swinging so far to one side that it comes right back around and just starts being bigotry again. It sucks. The world is worse off if there’s more suffering, that’s all I care about fixing. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 21/03/22 12:21 PM |
| 7 | The vast majority of biphobia is just completely unveiled misandryLiterally! Ugh, I want to scream about this all the time. I’ve used this line countless times, feel free to nab it and change it as you like because it works for a lot of things other than just being bisexual — If I need to be dating a same gender partner to be acceptable, then all that means is that being bisexual isn’t acceptable. And then of course they get huffy and upset because “well I didn’t say that!” — yes tf you did! If I have to shove myself half back into the closet like a Skyrim gua… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 21/03/22 11:30 AM |
| 5 | The vast majority of biphobia is just completely unveiled misandryQuestion, though, plenty of people in gay relationships want and go on to have kids, there’s no longer a necessity to have one man and one woman in a relationship to have kids (I mean there never was, just massive social pressures put into place), so how would a bisexual man be any more or less likely to leave you just to have kids? I mean at that point, it’s not a problem with bisexual men, it’s a problem with any relationship; sometimes people change their mind. I don’t want to put bigotry in … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 21/03/22 11:15 AM |
| 10 | The vast majority of biphobia is just completely unveiled misandryStraight up, I have stopped engaging with organised LGBTQ+ spaces. My initial problems happened when I was told I shouldn’t go to pride because of my “straight passing relationship privilege” (and lemme tell ya, I didn’t look straight, and neither did my boyfriend at the time, we were literally decked out in bi pride colours, you could tell we were fruity from down the block, but just because we LOOKED straight, it was fine to tell us to go home and laugh at us — real great way to welcome two te… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 21/03/22 11:07 AM |
| 6 | The vast majority of biphobia is just completely unveiled misandryGod what a garbage person, I’m sorry you had to go through that. And you’re totally right that a bi man wouldn’t be able to get away with that, he’d be vilified in an instant. I don’t really identify with a gender at all, so whenever I get ciscentric bisexuals/gays who get up in my business about who I’ve slept with, I ask them how they would classify me — if someone slept with me, did they sleep with a man (therefore tainted), or a woman (I’m AFAB, so therefore “not tainted”)? Half of them star… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 20/03/22 09:01 PM |
| 5 | The vast majority of biphobia is just completely unveiled misandryY. U. P. Preferences are fine, but the second you try to shame someone for not fitting your preference, you’re in straight up asshole territory. If a guy isn’t my type… then that’s fine, I’m not entitled to every dude on the planet! I don’t need to tell him that he’s somehow lesser than because his bones didn’t grow longer. Same for fat people (and I don’t say that in a derogatory fashion, it’s just people who have more body fat) — totally fine if chubby/higher body fat percentage isn’t your typ… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 20/03/22 07:19 PM |
| 8 | The vast majority of biphobia is just completely unveiled misandryRight? Like certainly, sure, a lot of society punishes men for having “feminine” traits that are just… you know… emotions, that every normal human has. But there’s no way they can say it’s always misogyny when cis women/femme people who are bisexuals themselves legitimately get worried about their attraction to men, like it’s gross or bad. When bisexual men are treated like fence sitters who are just gays in denial; nope, some men just happen to like both men and women, it’s that simple. The bes… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 20/03/22 07:12 PM |
| 7 | The vast majority of biphobia is just completely unveiled misandryAnd that should be fine!! I get the discussions centered around how the prototypical straight white Christian upper middle class cis man is ye olde oppressor of everyone, and some of those conversations are good to be had, but far too many just dissolve into bashing men who they think fit that prototypical box. They tend to do a lot of assuming about people’s gender, sexuality, religion, and class… funny how they also always say not to do that, huh. I got made fun of a bunch for having a type fo… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 20/03/22 07:08 PM |
| 15 | The vast majority of biphobia is just completely unveiled misandryTotally!! And that’s an excellent example, a lot of queer comedy revolves around being negative, nasty, or just straight up misandric against “cis” men, because obviously they also love to do a fair bit of gender assuming (ie constantly calling my trans girlfriend by he/him pronouns even though she said not to, and disregarding my lack of gender identity as “a fad” — like who are these people, Reaganites from the 80s???). Yup, it’s the fine demonise/fetishise line. Society gets real upset when i… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 20/03/22 07:02 PM |
| 9 | The vast majority of biphobia is just completely unveiled misandryExactly. Exhausted. I just want to exist without being berated for something I cannot control for just a day. Just a day. I’ve almost stopped engaging with the LGBTQ+ community entirely on multiple occasions because I was so sick of it feeling like a community for everyone else. Oppression olympics were rampant. I just wanted camaraderie, a place to make friends, and all I found was derision, mocking, and sometimes downright harassment. Thank you for your kind words, I really do appreciate them.… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 20/03/22 06:55 PM |
| 14 | The vast majority of biphobia is just completely unveiled misandry🫂 thank you so much for your kind words. It’s so sad that when people are in situations like mine, or a lot of young men these days, people with bad intentions can come in and darken your worldview so quickly. It was hard to pull myself out of a very misandric and hateful place, but it can be done. It’s why I’m here! After learning so much about men’s struggles and how silenced and pushed aside they are, I couldn’t stand by any more. Men as a whole didn’t and don’t deserve to be all compared to … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 20/03/22 06:50 PM |
| 4 | The vast majority of biphobia is just completely unveiled misandryThat’s true! Haha, I’m always down for some dictionary digging, as I like to call it 😆 we’d do it in debate a lot, trying to find the absolute best word to make our points. It can be fun! | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 20/03/22 02:48 PM |
| 33 | The vast majority of biphobia is just completely unveiled misandryThank you so much! And yes, it’s honestly so sad… I remember feeling my heart sink when I was told I was “tainted” for the first time — heads up, there’s a mention of assault and trauma in the spoiler. Long story short, a lesbian used my trauma against me when rejecting me due to my experiences with men, and it was horrible — I was only able to see the blatant misandry in it after I really got into men’s advocacy. This first time being called tainted wounded me so much, especially because I was … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 20/03/22 02:46 PM |
| 20 | The vast majority of biphobia is just completely unveiled misandryThanks, I really appreciate the support! And totally, I get you! I think the colloquial meaning of entitled has kind of seeped into language, where entitled is more of a personality trait (eg ‘Ugh, men are so entitled’), and that has poisoned the well so to speak. I love your breakdown of the word using healthcare, right to counsel, etc, using that would definitely be a great way to get people to not prickle up at that word so much, since it’s definitely not implying a right to all instances. I … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 20/03/22 11:33 AM |
| 40 | The vast majority of biphobia is just completely unveiled misandryYour guess is as good as mine; I’m gonna say some combination of drunk, potentially jealous, and more drunk. Being serious though, it was probably drunk + the disdain for “straight passing” relationships in queer spaces because we were at a pride parade. I stopped going to pride because I and my male partners always got some sort of shit for being “straights at pride”, even though neither of us were ever straight. Queer liberation marches have been more my style since, more open and less misandr… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 20/03/22 11:19 AM |
| 3 | is Female Fragility a thingthis is more of the take I can get behind — it’s nigh near impossible to talk about women doing bad things because it’s immediately taken as sexist, no matter how valid, backed up, or non-inflammatory the wording is. There are traits of classic masculinity that have been twisted into negative things, but there’s also traits of classic femininity that have been twisted negatively. A big example is the assumption of fragility in women itself — some women use this as an excuse to physically abuse t… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 20/03/22 09:54 AM |
| 1 | is Female Fragility a thingTbf, this attitude is still pretty prevalent for women. There is a lot of men who have a bad experience with a woman and go down the “all women are __” route. I always cringe whenever there’s a post where a woman is doing something badly or poorly because I know a lot of the comments are going to be about how shitty women are at __ or about how you can’t trust women. It absolutely happens for men too, but also basically every group. It’s always easiest to generalise, generalise, generalise, ie m… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 20/03/22 09:50 AM |
| 2 | The ignoring of men with mental disabilities.Oh for sure it’s not 100% socialisation, it’s also brain chemistry and structure. There’s been documented neural differences between cis and and trans individuals. Agender is the label that most closely resembles me, and I didn’t grow up particularly heavily socialised as a female, but I still have the more prototypical inattentive ADHD. I definitely believe there’s also a synergistic effect that occurs with other comorbid conditions — for example, a person with ADHD and comorbid depression may … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 20/03/22 12:21 AM |
| 5 | The ignoring of men with mental disabilities.Pretty much. The system is sincerely and very carefully set up to crush spirits unless you’ve got a pretty/handsome face, are good at a sport, get lucky on social media, or have a rich family. Or, any combination of the above. It’s also far more likely to call a boy/man “useless” because they don’t fit into the mould society wants. The way society holds up the disposability of men is what really drove me to men’s advocacy. And no trouble at all, always happy to give insight/data/the works. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 19/03/22 10:01 PM |
| 7 | The ignoring of men with mental disabilities.Totally agreed! I actually put a rule into place at my clinic that made sure that whenever we’re doing a breast cancer drive, we must equally match that donation to a prostate cancer fund, and have equal advertisement for both. It’s so demeaning to women that this pink laden, “sexy” campaign (that funnels a lot of money into people’s pockets and not research) is the sole focus when 1) men can get breast cancer, 2) lung cancer is actually the most deadly for women, and 3) male specific cancer res… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 19/03/22 09:46 PM |
| 6 | The ignoring of men with mental disabilities.No problem at all! Always happy to be the data nerd haha — I always make sure that my colleagues at the clinic are treating boys with autism, ADHD, etc kindly and compassionately, just as you should with any patient. Kiddo wants to stim? I’ve got stim toys they can play with while I talk with them. No eye contact? All good with me, I want this place to be as relaxing as possible. Fidgety? Let’s do high knees together while we talk about how school is going. It’s so easy to treat my patients when… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 19/03/22 09:40 PM |
| 3 | The ignoring of men with mental disabilities.That could definitely be the case in some scenarios! There’s some data out there to suggest that the presentation in males might be more severe, so you get a tilt effect there. As a person who was socialised as a woman who has ADHD, for example, I was only diagnosed in my mid 20s, and after I was able to start my medication (Vyvanse), my long standing symptoms of extreme anxiety and suicidal depression actually got a lot better. I went from never being able to hold a conversation comfortably (ie… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 19/03/22 09:36 PM |
| 5 | The ignoring of men with mental disabilities.You can check my comment out above in this thread, I’ve got a paper you can check out there! There is still a higher rate of prevalence for autism in males, we haven’t found that it’s totally equal yet. Rather, the ratio might just be a bit smaller. We used to think it it was 4 or 5:1, but it’s probably closer to 3:1. So not equal, but we’re definitely missing some diagnoses of autistic females. It may also be possible that males are more likely to have more severe presentations, so it could tip… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 19/03/22 09:25 PM |
| 8 | The ignoring of men with mental disabilities.Healthcare worker here, I can explain. So it’s less that autism itself is different in women — it’s the same spectrum for both sexes. However, due to the way women are socialised, the difficulties in socialisation and neurotypical behaviour are slightly different. You can think of it like having two lights that are the same colour, until you put a piece of coloured film in front of them. The original light sources are the same, but the presentation of the light is different. Since diagnostic too… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 19/03/22 09:21 PM |
| 4 | Negative portrayals of men in mediaTotally okay! All are welcomed here, I’ve been very pleased to find out. And I completely agree, just like I hate psychopathic/cruel male characters being portrayed as heroes, I hate it when they do it to women too. I find the trend to be a sort of like — “women can be strong/powerful/cunning like men!” but they’re mistaking strong/powerful/cunning for brutal/tyrannical/sociopathic. It’s like making women into the worst versions of men. It’s insulting to both groups. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 19/03/22 05:56 PM |
| 2 | Negative portrayals of men in mediaAnime and kdrama! Holy shit, there’s so much normalised relationship violence in k-drama. Unfortunately, it translates to real life, domestic violence is extremely common there, and it’s not unusual to see both men and women hitting or smacking each other. Hitting your boyfriend can play into the cutesy “aegyo” act, which is a bit nauseating — yeah, it’s so adorable that you punched your boyfriend in the arm 😒 | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 16/03/22 10:34 PM |
| 2 | Negative portrayals of men in mediaI find there’s nothing in theaters I ever want to watch, but independent films that don’t have huge budgets, and foreign films are usually a good grab bag. More interesting stories too. I always cringe a little bit inside when someone says they only like super mainstream stuff, and not for any hipster reasons, it’s just sad. Like… have you tried, anything else? Do you want recommendations? Please let me help you 🥲 I like Paterson mostly because even the characters who are shitty are shitty in su… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 15/03/22 05:54 AM |
| 8 | Negative portrayals of men in mediaYes! Homer is such a great example. And I watched a little bit of the second video and I agree; it’s sad that we’re in this in between state for representation of women in media where we’re no longer stuck in the ditch of “damsel in distress, delicate lady, you may as well have replaced this character with a sexy lamp” type characters to “she’s strong like a man but she’s not dumb like them, you go girl™️, down with testes tyranny” types. And guess what, shocker, people hate BOTH of those lmao M… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 14/03/22 11:53 PM |
| 15 | Negative portrayals of men in mediaYeah, as a person who was socialised as a woman, there was always this really odd dichotomy between being taught that x, y, z parts of my life were going to be harder because of my sex (most of this continues to be accurate) but also that all of these super simple things (cooking, cleaning, being kind, etc) were feminine things that men were bad at. So… stereotypically feminine = simple? But also identifying as feminine = hard? I didn’t even get the chance to examine the glaring “men are awful a… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 14/03/22 10:20 PM |
| 31 | Negative portrayals of men in mediaThis right here. It’s a lot of “man bad, amirite ladies?”, which is offensive for the (insert what they’ve decided to shit on men for this time) aspect, as well as being patronising to women. It always felt dually hackneyed and bigoted when men are portrayed as slovenly, dumb, empty headed vessels or pure evil, horrific villains, and the women in the show parrot the “aren’t we so much better!” tropes — like, sure, you’re better than this strawman caricature? Low bar to pass. It perpetuates a neg… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 14/03/22 06:56 PM |
| 1 | How to Best Advocate for Men as a Person Who Isn’t a ManAw thank you!! That’s made my whole day, honestly. I’ll keep on trying, and same to you! The world needs more even keeled folks who understand that the more we all help each other, the better off we’ll all be. None of us will be perfect, and that’s fine. Lessening suffering is the goal, at the end of the day. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 14/03/22 07:19 AM |
| 2 | How to Best Advocate for Men as a Person Who Isn’t a ManTo your edit note: No offense taken at all! I’m lucky in the fact that gender as a concept just kind of never clicked for me, so if someone calls me a woman or a man or [insert any vague human term here], it’s no harm done; the joke I always make is that no one can misgender me if I didn’t have a gender first haha. I appreciate you making the edit, thank you for clarifying the previous assumption 🤝 And I really appreciate your sentiment too, I fully agree! I find that advocacy for women and men … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 14/03/22 06:53 AM |
| 8 | Indian men not allowed to adopt ChildrenI’ve seen that saying so many times, and they always have some biological essential answer at the core of their reasoning, even people who consider themselves feminists. Something something well moms are just better because they birthed the baby/carried the baby/are more caring because they’re women/etc — and they don’t ever see the sexism in either assumption (‘men are secondary parents/basically incapable of being good parents’ and ‘women are always motherly/caring/want or even need children’)… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 12/03/22 01:48 AM |
| 3 | No, women don't like dating bad boysGood old Hybristophilia. The most I ran into it were some shudder inducing research dives into how much some people (usually teenage/young 20s aged women) idolized the Columbine Shooters. I’ve never actually met a woman out and about in society with Hybristophilia, but most at this point seem to understand it’s a fringe and taboo kink. Definitely not the norm, but it’s a well documented phenomenon. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 10/03/22 04:19 PM |
| 2 | How to Best Advocate for Men as a Person Who Isn’t a ManHaha I’m glad you haven’t gotten any hate (and I hope you don’t!) — thanks for letting me know about that sub! I’ll check it out and see if it’s a community I’d be into joining. I am finding that more and more often, I struggle to find a ton of common ground on the actual actionable goals of feminism. I agree with their base evaluations, but I don’t like how they go about it, or their perceived way of making things better. So it may be a toss up on which sub technically fits me best, but the mor… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 09/03/22 11:47 PM |
| 1 | How to Best Advocate for Men as a Person Who Isn’t a ManThank you! I’ve got a background in research so big, chunky academic type papers are my jam 😆 I’ll read just about anything as long as it’s from a relatively credible source. Thanks for the suggestions, I always appreciate (and tend to do the same myself) when folks send a mixture of ‘easier to digest/focused on lived experience’ and ‘academic studies of said experiences’. It helps give you the full breadth of the topic. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 09/03/22 11:43 PM |
| 1 | How to Best Advocate for Men as a Person Who Isn’t a ManThat is incredibly kind of you to say, thank you so much. I sincerely hope your healing journey keeps on going, and if no one has told you lately, know that your trauma has no moral hold over you. It does not intrinsically make you a bad person, nor did you do anything to deserve it. It is a difficult road to go down, repairing oneself after trauma. The human mind isn’t set up to be a therapist, it’s set up to be defensive; it doesn’t feel the need to recover, it wants to protect itself from dan… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 09/03/22 09:12 PM |
| 1 | How to Best Advocate for Men as a Person Who Isn’t a ManNot weird at all! Yours and a few other folks have made some excellent points; I think a lot of left wing activism has leaned into this “you can advocate for us I guess but you’re not one of us” mindset, and it’s created a lot of harmful division where there doesn’t need to be any. It’s honestly really nice to know that I can just call myself a male advocate! It’s less stressful and carries less baggage/unnecessary division than ally. Thank you, really! | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 09/03/22 08:03 PM |
| 1 | How to Best Advocate for Men as a Person Who Isn’t a ManThis is like getting a bunch of amazing presents on Christmas morning for a research nerd like me, thank you so much for all these suggestions, I really appreciate you getting them all together! I really do wish feminism would actually hold to its proclamations that it helps men as well, since there are definitely some overlap points; the biggest one for me being that the more we recognise that women are not by default the best caregivers for children (and shocker, that mothers can be… gasp terr… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 09/03/22 03:04 PM |
| 5 | How to Best Advocate for Men as a Person Who Isn’t a ManI really appreciate your super thorough answer! I totally agree with your sentiment, and it’s what I wish I had encountered in other men’s advocacy groups I’ve tried to get involved in in the past (none here on Reddit as of late, but I did always make sure that it wasn’t an explicitly men’s only space). I got a death threat or two the last time and got real spooked so approached this community probably a bit more cautiously than I needed to; I’m glad Im finding I don’t need to be that intensely … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 08/03/22 08:47 AM |
| 10 | How to Best Advocate for Men as a Person Who Isn’t a ManYeah, I find that “toxic masculinity” never actually comes with a ton of actionable solutions, just kind of like… vibes, I guess? Like “be less toxically masculine by showing your emotions”! As if 1) men haven’t been having emotions this whole time because they’re, yknow, human beings and 2) they didn’t get shit on as soon as they showed the wrong emotion in the wrong context with the wrong person, but none of the reasons why any of those “wrong” things were “wrong”. It’s like there’s always a s… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 08/03/22 08:16 AM |
| 7 | How to Best Advocate for Men as a Person Who Isn’t a ManI don’t mind at all, and sincerely, thank you for being so kind, honestly. Without going into too much detail of the trauma itself, I actually did go through some pretty tough trauma at the hands of men when I was a teenager that led me into getting sucked into a very radical and very toxic/bigoted branch of feminists that preyed on my anger and trauma. For a while, I avoided all men, and held extremely negative and offensive views on men as well. However, after I started university, I sincerely… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 08/03/22 07:16 AM |
| 7 | How to Best Advocate for Men as a Person Who Isn’t a ManFrom what I’ve found, this is referred to as the “women are wonderful” effect, where society at large, both men and women, are more likely to assign positive traits to women and negative ones to men, and that women have a far greater amount of favor for the in group of other women than men have for other men (it’s not that men have no ingroup gender bias, they do, but women have a far greater in group gender bias). This paper seems to be the one most often cited ( https://rutgerssocialcognitionl… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 08/03/22 06:09 AM |
| 4 | How to Best Advocate for Men as a Person Who Isn’t a ManI do it so much I get banned sometimes! and I’m not obnoxious about it either (no wElL acTuALlY vibes, just calmly educating and pointing out harmful ideas/assumptions), but sometimes you’ve got to say the thing people need to but don’t want to hear. I’ll keep on doing it! | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 08/03/22 04:35 AM |
| 2 | How to Best Advocate for Men as a Person Who Isn’t a ManOh, awesome! And yeah, I agree, I didn’t like that repeated “women have it worse” angle. No one is perfect is a great saying to live by. Goodness knows I mess up at least a few times a day, I don’t want to hold anyone to a higher standard than myself 😆 we’re all learning, all the time. The internet is really angry all the time; wish people would chill out and realise we’re all just trying to survive. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 08/03/22 04:31 AM |
| 5 | How to Best Advocate for Men as a Person Who Isn’t a ManCouldn’t agree more. It’s an unfortunate cornerstone of human psychology to have in group bias; evolutionarily great for back when we were all in actual independent tribes and it was totally cool to just murder an entire other tribe for food, but not so much now when most of us are so enmeshed and have things like governments and nation states and laws and the concept of an economy. So many people suffer at the hands of tribalism; the Russian students didn’t make Putin invade, nor did a random w… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 08/03/22 04:28 AM |
| 10 | How to Best Advocate for Men as a Person Who Isn’t a ManSame. It’s a pretty dead horse it’s been beaten so much at this point. I used to think that way after I went through some traumatic events related to/perpetrated by men and got sucked into the negatively radical/violent side of feminism; it was easier in my broken up mental state at the time to just blame all men and avoid them all, rather than do the right thing and recognise that they’re all literally separate human beings. Took a few years to break out of it, but I’m glad I did. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 08/03/22 04:14 AM |
| 4 | How to Best Advocate for Men as a Person Who Isn’t a ManThanks for responding. I use ally in the sense that it denotes a person who doesn’t have the lived experience of the group they’re advocating for, and therefore shouldn’t try to talk over people who have the lived experience, but I feel you; I think the term has been kind of bastardized and on the whole, the bottom line should be the advocacy rather than the relative identity of the person doing it. Ideally, as long as it’s in good faith, people should be able to advocate for the improvement of … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 08/03/22 04:11 AM |
| 11 | How to Best Advocate for Men as a Person Who Isn’t a ManAs far as I’m concerned, anyone who has sex with a person under false contraceptive circumstances (ie a person who lies about being on birth control, who secretly takes off/sabotages a condom, etc) is a rapist and should be considered and criminally prosecuted as such, and it’s frankly disgusting that it’s not treated that way. It’s rape by way of reproductive coercion. It baffles me that someone can be totally against a man who sabotages a woman’s birth control or condoms, but won’t have the sa… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 08/03/22 03:38 AM |
| 1 | How to Best Advocate for Men as a Person Who Isn’t a ManCan highly suggest sending these videos to people if you think they need an easy entry to empathizing more with male victims; it’s by a channel called Pop Culture Detective, and it’s an excellent video essay series on how media treats the victimization of men https://youtu.be/uc6QxD2_yQw - part 1: male perpetrators https://youtu.be/9nheskbsU5g - part 2: female perpetrators | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 08/03/22 03:21 AM |
| 16 | How to Best Advocate for Men as a Person Who Isn’t a ManExcellent topic — it always disgusted me whenever people insinuated men and boys should be “thankful” for being victims of sexual assault/harassment and rape. Anyone who says the same about women is rightfully considered fringe and a dangerous bigot, but it never seems to go both ways. I think a big aspect of it is that sex crimes are very interwoven with power, and society thinks that women can never have “real” power over men, which isn’t at all congruent with reality. Women can be teachers, m… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 08/03/22 03:17 AM |
| 2 | Q4W: What is your main disagreement with the Red Pill?No problem at all, thank you for listening, especially since I rambled on a bit haha. The advocacy for men’s issues is sorely lacking visibility from the side of feminism, I think it’s actually one of feminism’s greatest faults. Sometimes it’s put through the lens of “we help men by helping women”, which is sometimes true, but men’s issues deserve their own spotlight as well. Like ffs if I see one more person who claims to be a feminist saying men can’t be raped or that we don’t need to focus on… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/02/22 02:04 AM |
| 1 | Q4W: What is your main disagreement with the Red Pill?Thanks for your response. I do agree with the other commenter in saying that every movement has fringe members that take things too far. For example about 60% of MGTOW guys I’ve talked to don’t hate women, they’re just disillusioned with the system, which makes sense, since the system fucking sucks, but there are definitely dudes in MGTOW that sincerely despise women and will tell you as much. The problem with putting old vs new feminism is that old feminism was almost purely legal equality, whi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/02/22 07:36 PM |
| 7 | Lack of empathy for the opposite genderYeah, I maybe shouldn’t have read this thread in a bad mood, this thread is full of really saddening comments. Life fucking sucks for everyone right now unless you’re ultra wealthy, basically, and even then, you still have problems. It’s just really tiring to be shoved into this game of WELL ACTUALLY; like, dude, I just want to be nice to people and understand their struggle is both similar and different than mine. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/02/22 08:48 AM |
| 4 | Q4W: What is your main disagreement with the Red Pill?Why feminism though? I definitely agree that when men and women compete in relationships, that can get toxic and end in really bad situations, but don’t know how feminism ties into that. Honestly, asking for your viewpoint. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/02/22 04:22 AM |
| 5 | Q4W: What is your main disagreement with the Red Pill?So, still, with the assumptions. You know this dude, so grabbing your nips was fine. It sounds like you don’t really like women or consider themselves to be your friends, so yeah, I’d expect a negative reaction from a female coworker who didn’t know you well. Like personally, I wouldn’t do that do anyone at work lol, it’s a bit much. But that’s me. There’s also the issue of the imbalance of sexual harassment/violence. It’s much more likely to happen to women. It makes sense that they would be mo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/02/22 04:20 AM |
| 1 | Q4W: What is your main disagreement with the Red Pill?Yeah, society has made a lot of good movements away from that sex object/invisible or wife/invisible dichotomy. Still have a lot of work to do, if this dude’s responses are anything to go off of. Most men I’ve met in my life don’t have the ultra toxic ideals of the past, but an unfortunate amount still do. It sucks. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/02/22 04:11 AM |
| 5 | Q4W: What is your main disagreement with the Red Pill?So, there’s a lot of assumptions in there, to start. I have male friends who don’t like being roasted, but I’m cool with it. I play co-ed volleyball and we slap each other’s butts for good luck, except for the one guy and one girl who just don’t really like to be touched. I love doing martial arts when I have the chance but the male surgeon I work with daily admits that he couldn’t do it. Everyone is different, my guy. You have to put the work into figuring out what everyone does and does not li… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/02/22 04:06 AM |
| 12 | Q4W: What is your main disagreement with the Red Pill?Agreed. Society sets up the assumption that women aren’t people/should be seen as lesser beings, and it can be hard for some men to break out of that. It was probably one of the saddest moments of my life when I realised there is a population of men who legitimately don’t see women as equal human beings. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/02/22 03:38 AM |
| 2 | Q4W: What is your main disagreement with the Red Pill?I get what you mean in the sense that if x problem didn’t exist, y solution wouldn’t need to either, but I do think there’s a huge issue in society of not seeing women as people. And even though men are treated as the default or baseline (aka men are people while women are seen at a level below that), they’re also put through a ton of shit that makes relationships difficult (being expected to be the breadwinner for families, having their worth be super heavily attached to their wealth/status, th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/02/22 03:35 AM |
| 3 | Q4W: What is your main disagreement with the Red Pill?Agreed heavily! These kinds of communities (red pill, FDS, etc) are all extremely cis-centric and transphobic, and I 100% agree with the idea that super gendered communities all have that tendency to tilt anti-trans. I spent some time talking to incels and I had to be MEGA undercover lol. I was able to help a few out of the pretty dark places they were in in life. I think there’s a lot of anger in these communities; some coming from an honest place and other coming from gender based rage frothin… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/02/22 02:20 AM |
| 5 | Q4W: What is your main disagreement with the Red Pill?Yea… like this guy is saying “women” (again, big net to cast) try to sidestep negative aspects of themselves. Like, sure? Literally everyone does that sometimes? People will usually try to spin a negative into a positive if you ask them about themselves. Or, if you’re me, you just say “Idk, I fucking suck at math. I hate losing and will probably internally be a really sore loser.” I just don’t think that then, because I’m a woman (or AFAB, don’t ever tell them you’re not cis lol), all of those t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/02/22 01:52 AM |
| 18 | Q4W: What is your main disagreement with the Red Pill?Adversarial and kind of like a video game? There’s a lot of min/maxxing and stuff like it, and it’s like… idk dude, please just talk to us like we’re people. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/02/22 01:41 AM |
| 3 | Q4W: What is your main disagreement with the Red Pill?This is one of the biggest concerns I have when talking to red pilled guys in particular; they don’t always engage with the argument/statement being put forward. I’ll fully admit I’m not the best at communicating, but sometimes it seriously feels like they’re yelling at an imaginary strawman right behind me. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/02/22 01:38 AM |
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