TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

i_am_buzz_lightyear Archive

View 1 posts and 173 comments by i_am_buzz_lightyear on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
5

i_am_buzz_lightyear/r/Divorce_Men02/11/23 02:12 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
4

I think everyone is missing the point that God gave us free will. You can't say it was God's plan to control another to create an undesirable effect on you. You can believe in an ultimate plan or end point but not that He chose a person to act against you. Please consider this. Then read "Benefit of the Doubt: Breaking the Idol of Certainty" by Greg Boyd
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/24 10:23 PM
1

What state? I think Ohio needs a change in circumstances.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 11:41 AM
5

Yes. Cut it out before you have to feel anything, or early on. Recognize why you feel that. Ask if you have any control over that reason. Shift your mental demands into less rigid desires, which won't have as great of an effect on you, easier to move on, ignore, etc. Try to get in the habit of rationalizing a feeling. On top of that learn stoicism and meditation as well. The thicker the mud she drags you through, the more practice you'll need. Pity gets us nowhere. Venting gets tiring and those …
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/24 06:58 PM
0

It doesn't matter where the money lives for a regular LLC. The income is passthrough. It gets reported as yours. The LLC files and generate a K1. That K1 is used for your 1040.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/24 02:46 PM
0

Are you talking about a c or s corp?
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/24 02:16 PM
0

How is it not income? An LLC is a pass through to your personal taxes via K1.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/24 11:29 AM
1

None. I have everything.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 12:42 PM
1

I totally agree. I tried to get info about kids too. She said it was, rather her attorney did in a document. Nothing came of it, but it is avoidable and causes more BS from the other side.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/24 10:11 PM
1

Careful, that can be harassment.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/24 01:54 AM
4

Yup. You got this. Almost the exact same thing here, minutes the participation checks. Weird how they bury themselves and hurt the kids just for their attempt at an emotional win.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/24 02:13 PM
1

Mine actually is contesting it after she signed it! She got a new attorney and is rewriting history. No no no the divorce has nothing to do with her affair. I'm abusive and have a mental disorder. Be careful with what you say to your therapist if you get one. I've had to turn over the records. Mine are fine, just a word of caution.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/24 04:23 PM
5

I'm in Ohio. I just got a GAL assigned at my request. Where do I find this list? I only quickly looked at their site.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/24 03:49 PM
2

Exactly. Filling separately would often be worse.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/24 02:08 PM
1

This makes no sense. She asked me to file joint, so I had a CPA run our numbers. The difference was about 1800$ less tax/more refund filling joint. So I agreed. You need to look at the credits you qualify for. She likely hasn't. Anyway, a month later she's up my ass about obtaining all correspondence with my CPA. Power hungry entitlement... Edit: filling joint often opens the door for more credits. Her claiming the kids and splitting that would be a wash if she was actually going to split it. Th…
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/24 01:00 PM
1

I paid about 100$, but that's because I chose to get put to sleep. Tricare, 2022.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 12:47 PM
1

I just gave an edit. Take a look. Hope it helps.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/24 11:20 PM
2

I paid first and last month's rent, and bought all the furniture so I would've have to worry about moving shit out and so the kids could have the same comfort level. I wanted her to get a new (lightly used) car for the kids sake as I wouldn't be there to fix it, and bought my self one of equal cost. Same loan amount, but in separate names (She didn't realize why until months later). The trade-in removed my name. Which makes that part of the split easier. Edit: to add to the first bits... I didn'…
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/24 11:07 PM
3

Mine said she changed and it was my fault... I have no idea how that's possible as I never controlled her in any way. Craziness. Yes, she had an affair.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/24 06:23 PM
1

Same
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/24 06:19 PM
7

Yup. I didn't have Instagram, but if I did, I probably wouldn't have done anything.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/24 02:28 AM
1

Don't you have to draw a "reasonable" salary from an S corp?
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 06:21 PM
1

What if I also have a W2 job and don't want to draw income? Basically use it for expenses and investments. Would a c corp work best then?
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 03:45 PM
1

Makes sense. I have an LLC currently for side gigs that will soon take in a good chuck of cash. So you're saying turn that into an S corp and register another LLC to draw income from? What's the advantage over having the LLC owned by a corporation rather than the individual? You have any good reading material on this?
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 04:00 AM
1

If you're pulling an income how is this hiding? I'm missing something here.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 03:38 AM
1

I don't think 10% is true. That's giving them too much credit to logically identify them... My stbxw had her affair with an older dude that is bald, no college degree, and a job going nowhere he's had for over a decade. He was neither a bad boy or at the top. Edit: I guess there could be a difference between those women that date and those that cheat. Not sure.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/24 01:05 PM
3

Fault doesn't matter... There are two parts... Both parts play the game. It was let go. Move on. Reflection is pointless if it's over. The next thing will be different
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 03:08 AM
1

Insight Timer is a good free app for this
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 02:52 AM
3

Don't do that. Dealing with the Court is way more time and money. Just file as you should. As the other poster said, it's not hard, just delays. You'll find out right away, mail it in and let the IRS come back, send them the agreement, and they'll make her correct it. I haven't done it myself, but this is exactly how my tax guy, a CPA, explained it.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 12:44 AM
19

Ummm... scroll to the bottom of this person's post history. Edit: I'll spoil it... It's a dick.... Asking for a dick rating. All other posts are about strip clubs. Seems the guy is looking for validation to fuck around. Just a guess though.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/24 11:47 PM
1

My temp order only talks about health insurance. The car is only in her name. I removed her auto and I have a text from her stating she was going to cover it. None the less, her attorney added it to the contempt BS they're trying to pull. Not a big deal for me as I have other nonsense to defend at the same time, but if you're almost through the forest with no other lingering issues, don't make one.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/24 06:17 PM
4

Jeez... I just wrote part of my story... Church... Lies to your face when you have proof... "Why do you think I did it"... What is wrong with these women... At least I served her
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/24 01:36 AM
13

I got loose proof through call records, frequency and length. That made the red flags clear. I confronted her, got gaslit, they're just friends, wherever. I went off on her. She cried saying she just lost a good friend and it's my fault that she had to cut off this friendship. Cherry on top was that I bought her a new phone. I told her she could have it when she handed hers over. A couple weeks later she did. Keep in mind the relationship was "over," as she said. So, I guess she didn't mind that…
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/24 11:59 PM
1

I split ours before. We're still in court. Just make it fair. It was near the established separation date and my time of filing.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/24 08:50 PM
1

LLCs in general are pass through entities. Income goes to you. Talk to a CPA
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/24 08:47 PM
1

In Ohio it's 3
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/24 08:45 PM
1

Dude wallstreetbets lol
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/24 08:44 PM
2

Thanks man. Yeah, give me 2-2.5... from wherever this ends.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/24 02:15 AM
2

Good for you bud. Glad you got out on the plus side... Gives me some hope.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/24 02:10 AM
1

Nice... she has my grill... Go to YouTube and type in "nice grill" and click on the first animated one. It's dark and weirdly funny depending on your sense of humor.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/24 02:00 AM
2

Ahhh well you didn't mention the 401k :)
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/24 01:51 AM
2

How did you write this in and how much did you give up?
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/24 07:08 PM
5

I believe you'd have to play sahd for a few years before you could pull this off.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/24 02:48 AM
2

Yes. Typo. Thanks. Oh. I see you have a standard C corp, not a C corp LLC. My mistake for causing the confusion. The C corp will file its own taxes, not flow through. I currently have a partnership LLC, which is why I'm digging down the rabbit hole on this. Thanks for the insight.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/24 04:36 PM
2

So your saying that the AIG after including the LLC is used for the CS formula? I'm not sure how this works yet. I assumed it was total reported income.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/24 03:33 PM
2

Don't C-corp and S-corp LLCs still passthrough income reporting to your personal taxes?
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/24 02:27 PM
2

Do it... There is no downside
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/24 01:06 AM
1

Ohio. I gave my collection to my brother. We actually just popped the Greece shit I got (took the wife there on my business trip) . https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tsipouro
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/24 12:12 AM
1

I had a couple issues... I bought my device on eBay because I wanted to save 300$ Be careful about when you eat. I smashed some gold fish and blew a .007. I was pissed. Give yourself the recommended time as the agreement states. I like the retest after 15 min. That saved me that day, as it was BS. I was traveling. I must have gotten sanitizer on the mouth piece, but my spares were at home. I blew in an airport bathroom. I was at a .110 at 8am... Again, not real, and pissed. I re tested 3 more ti…
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/24 02:45 PM
6

Dude... I'm in the same boat. She told the judge we would drink together. So, now we both blow into a court ordered breathalyzer (soberlink). I did everything with the kids. Everything. Supported her in every way, including intimacy and sex. We had fun together. Having a stable 13 yr marriage wasn't good enough and she didn't want a man that had his own ambitions, not focusing on her 100% Anyway, we were ordered to do one blow at the start of our parenting time. Pointless for an actual alcoholic…
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/24 02:24 PM
4

I furnished the apartment on the same caliber as the house using the joint bank funds. Kids need the consistency, same lifestyle, in both homes. Edit: I didn't start sleeping there until she agreed to a 50/50 plan with the kids and the kids were there with me my first night.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/24 03:59 PM
3

It was eye opening to read "leave a cheater, gain a life" to your exact point
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/24 05:06 AM
3

Just adding another... This shit is more common if they cheat. They need to justify it. Their image is their life. So you, as the spouse, must be worse to distract from or shadow the truth. Keep that in mind if you have infidelity in your situation.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/24 03:17 AM
3

Dude. It's insane. I'm 35. 13 yr marriage. 2 Young kids. Click on my name and look at my last post from today. Keeping it cool has a brand new meaning now.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/24 03:10 AM
4

Yup. The duress shit was just the beginning. Then financial abuse (records clean, advised by my lawyer), you left out calling the cops - a day after I sent proof of her cheating to her mom that is paying her attorney (I didn't live with her any more, just stupid), alcoholism (I blow 3 times a day I see my kids, all clean, I comply to establish her lying), substance abuse, (I had to pee in a cup, nothing, again show her lies), mental illness. I'm sure I missed some. I'm currently at the mental il…
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/24 01:38 AM
3

I'm in Ohio. I signed a lease on a new place (enough rooms for the kids, bought furniture, in the bussing zone of the school, etc), established a shared parenting plan with her that was 50/50. Moved out. Didn't sleep there until she agreed to the plan in writing and began exercising it. Told her we'd be paying for both the house and my apt until she agreed. I filled the day my lease took effect to establish a separation date. I didn't think she'd actually sign the SPP. She did. We fucked for the…
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/24 12:22 AM
9

Don't believe it. Period. Mine cheated. I stayed. Behavior didn't change, more lies. I wanted out. We worked through a fair split. She cried more, apologizing, but signed it. Went back on the agreement about three weeks later before we could present it to the court. Now I'm in a contested divorce. 10k later and she's trying to get my mental state evaluated by the court. Still trying to get 50/50.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/24 04:55 AM
1

Mine too went back on the agreed on plan that was drawn up from her notes... This is the game.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 07:06 PM
2

This is where I'm at OP. It's now ugly. Once she talks to friends or a good lawyer she'll begin the false accusations. The latest now is I'm mentally ill and need a phyc eval.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 07:04 PM
2

Interesting. Why would her lawyer use "show cause" rather than a plain contempt motion?
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/24 02:03 AM
1

Can you give some insight to "show cause?" I've been hit with that for contempt on BS. We're still in the middle of divorce. Things like talking disparagingly to others via email and removing health insurance. I didn't do either. I can prove the health insurance, but I can't prove I didn't send an email. Any advice would be great. TIA
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/24 12:31 AM
1

Nope. He's gone now.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/23 11:53 AM
1

I thought I was doing what she wanted based on what she told me. I wanted to stop after my MS. She wanted to continue her career and didn't want a sitter to fill in. So, I found a funded fellowship. It was right before the affair, she stayed home sick one day and watched me with the kids for our morning routine. I came back in after getting the older one on the bus to find her crying, saying "I want that to be me." Ok, I said. What do you want me to do?. I tried to bring it up multiple times. No…
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/23 04:49 PM
5

PhD student here... It doesn't matter that I raise the kids, have a few side hustles for income, remodeled the house, fuck her to her liking, even pack her lunches in the morning. She didn't have her own assets, but all this is fuel to help her justify her fake reality for her affair.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/23 03:57 PM
5

You already made the choice. You're having an affair rather than work on the marriage. Pull the trigger unless you want your retirement to grow more for your spouse to take half and you want to totally fuck him up with your betrayal. You're monkey branching. Super fucked up.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 08:18 PM
16

It's called an emotional affair. It's cheating. Divorce and then fuck around.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 07:48 PM
3

Same. Mine signed an agreement, got a new lawyer and we're now wasting time and money. Yay.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/23 09:29 PM
1

Kind of a hijack -- I have the kids. We usually go get after family. First year.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/23 12:01 AM
9

Mine said, "why do you think I did it?" As if there is ever a reason where cheating is ok.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 04:38 PM
4

The answer is no. My stbxw had an emotional affair that became physical sex in the period of a few weeks with a married guy at church. They were both on the worship team. She's justifying it with some alternative reality where I'm to blame, aka fake accusations of a bunch of shit, as if there is an acceptable reason for infidelity.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/23 08:33 PM
1

Similar situation. I recently got a us Bank Platinum card for this very reason. 0% interest for 21 months. You need a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 01:42 PM
1

I wish I lived in one of those states. If they brought that shit back we wouldn't get so fucked.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/23 12:13 AM
1

Just get the vasectomy now
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/23 12:02 AM
1

In this state, they have no idea what they said and will never admit it. Their decisions don't factor in logic or consequences. It's like dealing with a drug addict. Mine decided that as well. She can figure it out. I don't give a fuck.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/23 07:06 PM
2

More on the reducing income please.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/23 12:12 PM
3

His second book is good. I listened to it during her affair.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/23 12:02 AM
1

Sounds good to me. You can send snail mail without tracking.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/23 07:58 PM
1

You can find them online. I found the guy's wife's Instagram. Just make a new account. Send a message and follow that with proof. There are open intelligence tools/websites. I didn't keep myself anonymous, but it is possible.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/23 02:59 PM
11

Absolutely. I wish I read this back then. Oh boy did the lies fly around like crazy. Don't be nice like I was. Although, I later found out the lies started before I was aware of the affair, it would've helped out to follow the advice of the poster above.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/23 08:58 PM
3

The judge last week said, "what are you doing to them [the kids]? You're a teacher." It looks like she, the judge, is a good one, that truly only cares about the kids. I got lucky, so far. We all feel the pain man. They will never understand what they've done. Lowering expectations, not giving a fuck about anything that has to do with her, and focusing on what you can control takes practice. Don't forget to give yourself grace. I'm still working on it and I forget sometimes. None of us asked for…
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/23 03:35 PM
2

Bingo
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/23 12:38 PM
3

That's why you file. The judge will notice the dragging and make orders to proceed. Mine just did last week. Forcing them to come to the table with a draft agreement. It will protect you. A narcissist like these women will not work with you on this.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/23 09:10 PM
4

Don't forget she cheated on you man. I did the same thing. I tried to be nice. It didn't matter. They're narcissistic assholes and are going to do what they want anyway. You cannot control it. If they gave a shit about you they wouldn't be cheaters. They will continue to try to hurt you. Our original agreement was more in her favor, but 50/50 with the kids. Now she's trying to get full custody.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/23 09:05 PM
5

If she's already threatening, it will get worse. File. Yesterday. She's playing games. Don't help her. She's given you up. She's keeping you around to keep providing.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/23 09:01 PM
12

Same boat OP... The timeline is almost the same for the separation and cheating back in 2022. She dragged on working with me. She ended up signing an agreement in July after crying hysterically and apologizing, but while I was out of town the following week she got served, which I told her was going to happen after we signed the paperwork. Knowing all we had to do is take that documents to the courthouse she decided to contest the divorce anyway. I'm glad I listened to the guys on here and filed…
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/23 08:01 PM
1

I found a group on meetup.com that I like.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/23 04:57 PM
2

She wants full custody. She makes more than me. Our original agreement had 0s for any kind of payments. She signed it, but later said she was forced to do so. I'm not sure exactly what her goal is. Maybe move the kids? She has no family here. I don't understand this world of unsubstantiated claims where we need to disprove it.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/23 03:59 PM
1

That sounds nice, like a fantasy.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/23 03:22 AM
1

Same thing. I'll ask her if she wants photos from whatever event I did at preschool and she'll say "Sure!" but if I ask about a thing like what's the bandage from or he told me about this, I get little days later, if anything. This is pretty disheartening in the moment. You can't really prep for it. Sadly, we just need to learn not to care, which hurts and feels wrong.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/23 03:19 AM
1

This is all weird to me. I'm not used to having time for games. Thanks man
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/23 01:02 AM
1

S. Why? I was a PC gamer back in the early days of steam. I'm now out of the loop.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/23 11:34 PM
2

This... She will torture you. She said it first, had the affair, I had to file. Know that the "we" is gone. I wish more people told me this.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/23 11:27 PM
5

Even if we could, she didn't fucking say a thing until she decided to try out new dick.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/23 08:51 PM
1

Interesting 🤔
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/23 08:46 PM
1

Thanks
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/23 05:59 PM
1

That's funny. I just got an Xbox two days ago. But, yes, I understand that. I'm just unsure of how this is written
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/23 02:52 PM
1

I'm trying to get a feel for how the language is written in the final paperwork. Thanks for the reply. Are extracurriculars non-essential? I'm trying to keep us out of court in the future but understand what her lawyer might throw down when I see her next week.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/23 02:50 PM
1

More of a direct question.... Example: pick something like phone or car stuff. How is that written in to make it 50/50? It's non essential clearly. If she won't communicate and I want to provide, I'm covering that 100%, correct? How do I make that make sense?
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/23 02:50 AM
1

What defines non-essential? Does yours include that essential is 50/50 without an agreement?
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/23 11:21 PM
2

Although our situations are pretty different (she fucked around), that last major paragraph exactly mimics what I've said to a T... That is was causes my emotional rollercoaster. We finally got to an agreement on paperwork, signed it, and then she decided nope! I filled. She countered with false abuse allegations. They just keep stabbing you. The kids (4 and 7) are not first... Clearly, I'm in the same place as you right now with all this bullshit.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/23 06:28 PM
21

The amount of shit they make up to justify their emotions and avoid responsibility is unimaginable...
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/23 04:56 PM
2

Same. Ohio.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/23 12:37 PM
1

Divorce care sucks... or am I close minded? Every season makes me annoyed or angry. Tips or criticism welcome.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/23 02:15 AM
6

Every choice she makes will be in her best interest.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/23 07:06 PM
3

She threatened to take the kids. Like a simp, I was initially wanting to work through the infidelity but that drew a hard line for me Edit: there was no conversation. I called the lawyer and said let's move forward.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/23 02:24 PM
1

It's really refreshing to read these top comments 16hrs later where the majority are telling you to be honest, unlike before. Slander and anger are different from the truth. Just use the truth. You know your kids.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 09:23 AM
5

This. Mine did this. She was "forced" to sign. Her mom is paying now. You have to file and go through the process. To add: she had some representation, but now it's one of the most expensive in the city to try to take the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 09:11 AM
5

I met some guys last night that wanted me to sub on their bowling league. Lame for some, but it was my hobby before kids. People do actually find value in us.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 09:08 AM
1

Changing attorneys if they know is just like leaving your marriage. No trust. They will act depending on how much they care, emotion maybe, disrespect maybe. Don't get me wrong. I'm not an expert. I had one tell me this. Don't be quick to swap. Tell them how you feel and communicate.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 02:04 AM
3

I won't lie either. I wouldn't start off lying. They (4 and 7), put it together by knowing Mom started loving another man through her actions and involving them in her affair. Most of the time I say nothing when they make comments. Many of the questions get answered with I can't talk about it now or, rarely with, ask your mom. But then they answer themselves anyway. The 7 yr old picks up on her lies. He has told me about them. He knows she's not the same person she was before. He's not shy to ta…
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/23 05:13 PM
5

Mine and many others I've read on here did the same thing to some extent. Kids were 4 and 6 when I filled. She brought up divorce when she had her affair. I found out later and ended it. She begged to stay. I allowed. Then she would go back and forth between being my wife and being a roommate when I would get triggered by repeated actions I noticed during the affair. She would tell me similar things, but also that she did love me. She refused counseling. No one should go through the emotional ro…
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/23 09:27 PM
1

I gave her an olive branch. She is fighting because she's a sheep.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/23 09:54 PM
6

She's not. I told the church. The nightmares are insane. I don't handle it will.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/23 03:00 AM
20

My wife indeed involved the kids as well. I'm still working on this. Listen to this guy. Read it every day.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/23 11:32 PM
1

I'm going to regret this, but what am I missing? Which toy story did I miss?
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/23 12:42 AM
3

We did this. We called it stress relief and "keeping it weird" was our motto. We both would initiate. We fucked at my new place. We fucked the day we signed the paperwork. When I was around, we fucked. The sex was just as good as always. Everything was great considering the situation. I treated her like an FWB. We met up and hung out together with the 4 and 6 yr old (at the time). It was good for them. I remember being there to get the kids and she offered stress relief and said she would turn o…
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/23 04:10 PM
1

It will hurt more if you wait. Had the same problem. Staying in that limbo is brutal. It's a psychological and emotional nightmare. I finally decided to file. Super glad I did. She went full nuclear on slander about abuse and lawyering up for full custody. Now it's easy to not give a shit about her, but I wasted time and mental health not getting there sooner. The truth is you will get there eventually. Just pull the plug on the boat yourself to get out of this stage now. Looking back, I was stu…
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/23 03:35 PM
1

Mine is doing some of this, the more typical ones, emotional, financial, child neglect, says I struck her. Hopefully the fact that I filled first and cited her affair will put it to bed along with all the texts and bank statements I have already given my attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/23 08:38 PM
2

Yup. Just casually talking to women that seem to take interest in my life is refreshing.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/23 06:37 PM
2

This one too https://lookups.melissa.com/home/personatorsearch/
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/23 09:53 AM
4

Yup. Most of the friends that don't believe her cheating ass act like they don't want to get in the middle and stay away. I've been finding new places/opportunities to meet people. I really only talk to family about this shit though.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/23 06:28 PM
2

Brutal
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/23 04:42 PM
2

I'd love to take that approach, but we have kids.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/23 04:06 PM
6

I changed mine to first name maiden name. She, however, plans on keeping my last name. I'm sure she'll say I "forced" her to do that or my "abuse" caused that too.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/23 03:06 PM
1

I watched a lot of impractical Jokers
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/23 09:59 PM
1

Yes that. I renamed her contact info to "don't talk to her" to remind myself. The anger will come next and you'll want to, especially if you have kids. I've changed it back now but that was rough.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/23 09:56 PM
1

Exactly. She filled an affidavit with her counter after getting served that tried to paint me as abusive and "gross neglect of duty". So, now we get to have a hearing just for the temp order. I filled one back about her affair and lies, stating evidence I have. She's been to my 3bd apt many times since then on my parenting days, I've fucked her here for fun, and the bus comes to me, not the house. It's all bull shit. They just blindly follow what they are told from the money hungry lawyer that i…
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/23 09:12 PM
1

I'm confused. You just said she couldn't afford to keep you on.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/23 01:18 AM
3

Isn't the cost the same for a "family"? I dropped her to let her be independent, as she declared she was.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/23 11:53 PM
6

Interesting. I'm currently only ordered (temp) to provide insurance for the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/23 11:47 PM
9

What was the order?
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/23 11:39 PM
2

I don't want the memories either. I loved the house too. Did a bunch of work to make it the way we wanted it over the last 10 years. Big waste. My apartment is great for the kids, the bus comes here now.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/23 12:35 AM
3

No. It means I have no desire to live there. I moved out. Just wanted 50% equity.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/23 12:25 AM
3

Be careful. Mine backed out on the agreement and is trying to get sole custody. She filled fake claims with the court. The best move I did was filling first before others could influence her and change her even more. I did when she resisted signing it at first because I didn't trust her. She eventually signed it, but then later claimed she was forced to. The asset split was in her favor, she got to keep the house, no CS or alimony (she makes more than me). She's fighting me over 50/50 of our 4 a…
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/23 12:04 AM
3

I'm at 9 months. Same exact fucking thing. I have proof of the affair though.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/23 11:05 AM
2

Similar. The stbxw (12 yr marriage at the time) sister knew about the AP. I later found out that SIL told her to delete the messages with the AP on her phone. When I challenged the SIL about it later she blamed me (classic narcissism), saying I didn't forgive her as if it's as easy as flipping a switch. That's just one of her inner circle. There were 5-10. I was just along for the ride. I should've served her 9 months sooner. I guess I was in disbelief of what was going on. Stupidly thought we c…
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/23 02:38 PM
2

Problem is I never met her coworker divorced friends that idealized false narratives about their and my marriage and independence that turned her into a narcissist.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/23 02:27 PM
2

Even then, you can't believe in that anymore. My stbxw cheated on me with a married man she met at church. They were on the worship team together. She obviously hid this from her toxic echo chamber of "support" and used her lies to justify adultery. Corinthians, Ephesians, Proverbs, John, Matthew -- verses from these books are still on the wall in our house. At least when I showed the church the proof, they both got removed from the team. She worked on us for a couple months as the church encour…
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/23 02:22 PM
5

Yup. I miss my garage. Tools in storage. I just keep telling myself this is temporary. I don't want to talk to her selfish ass ever though.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/23 02:01 AM
1

It doesn't matter. He's a piece of shit. So is she. I ran it up the food chain at his place of employment trying to hit him there. I also found his wife in IG. His work didn't care. I won't get after the stbxw because she's my kid's mother. So, I just let it go. He can never hurt me as much as she did. That doesn't mean I don't think about it. I do and it sucks. It's just something we have to deal with internally. One way or another they will feel the effect of Newton's third law. I'm not Denzel…
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/23 01:41 AM
2

I was asked by the church if I wanted to talk to him. I denied. Nothing good can come from that. I used the church to end it. They met on the worship team. He was married as well.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/23 01:36 AM
7

Mine started with her saying she wanted to do this the nice and easy way. I called it over due to her affair. She had a hard time dealing with the custody agreement. She eventually signed an equal split. Weeks later she went back on it and now I'm dealing with a full blown contested divorce with false claims of abuse and so on... luckily I'm the plaintiff and she earns more than me. Plan for the worst is the lesson to be had here. Just when you think it's going smoothly she'll nuke it. Her gaggl…
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/23 03:23 PM
2

My wife makes more than me and is doing the same shit. I'm in line with the OP, except that I do the majority of the parenting tasks.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/23 01:17 PM
2

Thanks for posting OP. I needed to read these responses today.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 11:05 PM
1

Yup. I haven't said shit on social about her lies, affair, abandonment, etc. Yet she uses them for her kibbles. It's hard to do, but my love for them is above my anger with her. They will know who their mom is eventually. I was just out of town for 2+ weeks and our agreed on separation and SPP went from done to a contested divorce a few days before I got back. Luckily I filled before I left as I didn't trust her.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 11:06 PM
2

Apartment shopping was a happy experience for me as well. Almost liberating. Enjoyable. Knowing it would be over eventually and I can do my own thing was what made it happy. David Goggins reference maybe. There are so many things that you'll remember that will fuck that up. Bad days are a hurdle. More like mud you gotta keep pushing through. I'm not that good at it. Funk sucks. I still feel it. Mostly kids and companionship for me. Welcome other guys to give better feedback.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/23 11:44 PM
1

You'd be surprised how common this is and if you're honest, bosses do understand.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/23 04:06 AM
0

Go home. Mine did the same. She was having an affair. Kids are not important to her in this fog. I left for a couple days as I was blindsided, clueless. Dumb move and let her fuck around more. Edit: if you can, take time off. Don't tell her. Just be at home. She'll lose it and make it obvious what she's doing.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/23 03:54 AM
2

That last bit gets me too. Walk away wife... She chose that all by herself. To fuck up their future. It's 1/2 the love. No one is able to pick up the slack when the other has shit going on. Her AP is gone now and they just get 1/2. Narcissism. She didn't give a fuck. Consequences are not on the radar, even for their own kids. Being a mom apparently doesn't consider raising them or their future. Just pushing them out.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/23 01:13 AM
2

Yup. It's pathetic that they do this. I tried to tell her too. She'll still act surprised even though you've told her, explained everything multiple times. It doesn't matter. I ruined the relationship with the AP back in December, but she still acts like a drug addict and refuses to accept reality while her "support" (I call it hate or enablers) group keeps her in the fog of the "high". I feel bad for the kids (4 & 6), but I know it will pass eventually.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 01:18 PM
2

Yup. I get it. She said she wanted it too, said all the things about being friends and amicable BS, but left me in limbo, which is an awful mind fuck. I filled it anyway as a backup plan to put a worst case timeline in place. Her mom hired a mediation lawyer for her. That retainer was 2x the cost of mine. I said fuck that, told her to grow up and prove you can be independent. Be prepared for the hysterical crying when it catches up to her.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 01:07 PM
2

I didn't do mediation. I split everything up, got the appraisal done, and handed her paperwork. She has a career though. She could either sign it or get fucked over worse in court. She recently signed it. I'm typing this in my new place, as I set up my office, with my kids on the couch.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 12:52 PM
2

You're exactly describing what my stbxw did. None of it makes sense. There's no logic, just actions based on emotion that contradicts her words. Just take control of the process.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 12:45 PM
2

Mine cheated on me and wants to keep it. The only thing I can think of is to keep it consistent with the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/23 01:26 AM
1

This guy is right, but don't check into it. I went to r/osint and learned how to find things. I wish I came here first, got the advice I needed, and just lived in ignorance land. With what you have shared, it's already over. The age of your wife checks out and so does her behaviors. I see many parallels with my situation typed up in your post. You're not to the end of discovery and it's not worth reaching. Start planning.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 08:33 PM
3

Exactly. We all know the earth is flat.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 06:51 PM
1

This can bite you. Mine begged. I gave in. She continued to trickle the truth and leave me in limbo with shit like "I love you" but at the same time would flip flop to "I don't know if I want to be married". It has to be buried.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 11:53 AM
3

I can tell you that I didn't find this sub until after I discovered the AP and the harshness is what I needed to hear. I didn't believe my buddies. I was in denial. The guy above is spot on, but either way it's all shit, just different flavors.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/23 10:56 AM
2

What a sweetheart.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/23 02:15 PM
17

WTF dude. Read "leave a cheater, gain a life". Do you have any pride, dignity, or self worth. She doesn't get a choice anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 01:43 PM
5

It's fucking weird that the less I do for her the more she seems to want me.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 01:32 PM
9

Yup. We all do the same thing. I'm still working on it. Just assume she's already cheated. It'll hurt man. Don't look for evidence. It'll hurt the more you know. I know that's hard advice to follow. You'll want answers. The more you know the more fucked up it'll be and the more it'll rip you up. Here's another one for you (not all applies to me, and possibly not you but the message is real)--- You served a purpose. I think understanding this concept will help the countless men who have been “Bli…
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 12:24 PM
5

Read more on here. It's crazy how common this is. It'll help you get over thinking you can do anything to stop it. You need to start making moves for you and your kids.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 11:16 AM
8

My situation started in October. I didn't find out until March that it was physical. We have a 4 yr old girl and 6 yr old boy. Her "support" structure reinforced her delusional reality that justified her cheating. When that catches up to you, it'll hurt a fuck ton. I'm finally over it for myself, but it still pains me what she did to betray our kids. She's already decided she wants out. Her choice. Sleep in the Master. I have a few notes I've copied from this sub. Here's a good one. This is what…
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 09:47 AM
6

She's 37. Close enough. Edit: Oh and it was on Veteran's Day that she dropped the separation bomb.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/23 04:02 PM
3

Yup. Her and the AP are over and now she's all kinds of mentally destroyed.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 10:30 AM
2

The responsibility is shared. Why are you playing the blame game? It's a useless exercise. It doesn't matter. The end is already here and it can't be changed. It all boils down to communication. There are two actors in the game of marriage. What is there to learn from a cheater besides the red flags and how to avoid it next time?
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 10:28 AM
1

Dude. Ok. She wants to do a settlement,. It'll never happen that way. She wants to wait and wait. Not accept reality. She's still my wife until paperwork is signed. I still only fuck her. Again, we are sexually great. She blew me 2 days ago and yesterday we had period sex and showered it off together. We love each other. There is no other way to say it. But, you can't betray your spouse. I love our kids. I know the best thing for them is the both of us. She fucked up. Simple. I move out next wee…
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 01:28 AM
1

My story. Not yours. Figure it out.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 11:50 PM
1

When I have sex with my wife and then leave town. Same day. The passion. The fucking drive we have. The next day I'm on a kc-135. We're loading up. I'm on the plane and get a nude selfie. Stop trying to correct me.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 09:14 PM
1

You get locked into your daily routine. We were intimate with good sex. We're still doing it (I know, shame on me, but I'm a man). If she only tells her mom, how are you to know?
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 07:17 PM
23

Well said. Her AP was older, less educated, balding, skinny like me, and had a shit job with no where up to go. He said the right things, made her think he cared and eventually got her naked. The OP is wrong in general. It's the "high" of the feelings.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 11:04 AM
2

No. Don't do it. File and get temp orders. Do not leave. Assuming you have kids. Edit: if you're not a cheating piece of shit, the master's is yours. Gray rock. Who gives a shit about her. If you are, fuck off.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/23 11:59 PM
20

I read this everyday. I found it sorting by top. I don't have the link. Don't give me the credit. -+-+-+-+- Bro I wish I could call you right now. All of us men here have felt what you're feeling. This is the right place to come. Now for the hard part. If that bitch wants a divorce then give her a fucking divorce. DO NOT HELP HER IN ANY WAY. you're suffering from nice guy syndrome. You were a literal fucking plow horse for this women and did everything to make her life as easy as possible runnin…
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/23 01:59 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter