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ice_walker Archive

View 21 posts and 626 comments by ice_walker on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
129

ice_walker/r/MarriedRedPill18/08/19 01:45 PM
9

ice_walker/r/askMRP18/05/18 03:39 PM
5

ice_walker/r/askMRP04/12/17 04:38 PM
5

ice_walker/r/askMRP14/11/17 04:34 PM
5

ice_walker/r/askMRP22/02/18 07:27 PM
4

ice_walker/r/askMRP15/12/17 11:37 AM
4

ice_walker/r/askMRP26/01/18 10:03 AM
4

ice_walker/r/askTRP15/09/17 07:24 AM
3

ice_walker/r/askMRP16/02/18 09:40 AM
3

ice_walker/r/askMRP05/01/19 11:29 AM
2

ice_walker/r/askTRP22/11/17 08:36 PM
2

ice_walker/r/askMRP10/12/17 07:06 AM
2

ice_walker/r/askMRP06/12/17 05:21 PM
2

ice_walker/r/askMRP20/01/18 11:28 AM
2

ice_walker/r/askMRP15/05/18 05:44 PM
2

ice_walker/r/askMRP29/06/18 10:58 AM
1

ice_walker/r/askMRP15/12/17 07:43 AM
1

ice_walker/r/askMRP09/05/18 07:03 AM
0

ice_walker/r/askMRP12/12/17 01:47 PM
0

ice_walker/r/askMRP02/12/17 01:39 PM
0

ice_walker/r/askMRP15/09/17 01:09 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Look inwards and ask yourself, are you a man who would chat up a random woman on the train and give her your business card if you were married? Why or why not? What are your core values on the matter? Do you expect your partner or wife to share does values? Does your current wife? Those are the questions that matter in the long run.
/r/askMRP10/04/25 08:30 AM
2

Downvoted but this is the solution
/r/askMRP07/10/24 07:38 PM
1

“I’m dealing with a woman who is particularly unruly, disrespectful, self-absorbed, and incredibly entitled. “ Why? What’s your motive for dealing with this person? In what way does it benefit your mission? “It’s clear to me that this person does not understand her place in the world and in this relationship. “ Ok. And why is this YOUR problem?
/r/askMRP07/10/24 07:37 PM
1

Had the same condition with a herniated disc when I was about your age back in 2010. This was before I had started lifting. I waited a year before I had surgery since the general advice was that these things heal out by themself. During this time the pain just kept getting worse in my left leg and exercise didn’t help. The indication for a good prognosis for surgery is that the most pain is in the leg and not in the back, and that there aren’t other issues with the back except the herniation. Ac…
/r/askMRP05/02/24 06:40 PM
3

Optional
/r/askMRP04/04/23 06:21 AM
23

Stop whining and start sidebar, lift, read and OYS instead. I see a lot of shit posts but not a single OYS from you.
/r/askMRP18/02/23 12:13 PM
2

Ok so you’re a skinny fuck then. Anyway, good luck.
/r/askMRP27/01/23 01:44 PM
10

That’s OP:s problems right here, his wife’s farts are no longer sweet and creamy enough to make him feel attracted.
/r/askMRP26/01/23 08:56 PM
9

From your lack of stats on your lifts I can tell you’re a fat, lazy, grown-ass man who spends his time masturbating, playing video games and whining about his low sex drive, do I get this right?
/r/askMRP26/01/23 04:55 PM
14

Dude, I swear, no chic can blow like your daughter. Cool If I marry her?
/r/askMRP19/03/22 07:05 PM
13

Wtf dude? She goes on holiday for a week, means more time for you time to work on those lifts that you didn’t disclose for some reason. If you are where you say you are this should be a none-issue. Read, Lift , Stfu etc. Seems you managed at least to stfu so far, congrats for that.
/r/askMRP21/09/21 04:45 PM
2

obvioulsy I want her to comply Why is this obvious?
/r/askMRP12/09/21 02:20 PM
12

You’re asking the right question to the wrong people. You should be asking yourself that question, not internet strangers. You are your own compass and all that shit. I.e. if you feel like going alone do it, if not don’t, simpel as that. Or forget about it, I’ll make it easy for you: You have my permission to go alone on the trip.
/r/askMRP11/09/21 08:18 PM
2

You are not clueless. You are not interested in friendship and such. You know what to do but you’re afraid of executing.
/r/askMRP20/06/21 11:41 AM
2

Start there, I promise you will be amazed how much self discipline and increased physical strength will increase your emotional strength as well
/r/becomeaman15/06/21 06:12 PM
9

Do you lift weights on a regular basis? Being strong and fit makes you feel more confident and also makes it a lot easier to control your emotions. (Note : control, not surpress)
/r/becomeaman15/06/21 12:26 PM
2

You do something you know yourself is something you shouldn’t be doing and then you ask for advice? How about starting right there instead? And don’t initiate often “because mrp says I have to”, initiate when YOU feel like it, be it often or not.
/r/askMRP12/06/21 04:16 PM
1

And tell him he has to bring the lube
/r/askMRP31/05/21 07:11 PM
2

All statements of how little you care and how little this matters to you smells of insecurity and you don’t come off as congruent since it obviously matters or you wouldn’t be posting, am I right? Also, whose frame are you operating in here?
/r/askMRP31/05/21 07:05 PM
1

>But now he's regressed. He's making the driving force this timeline, rather than him being the executor of it. Damn it you are right. I don't see it myself until I'm back in the middle of it. I know BluePillProfessor pointed this out to me years ago, how I always manage to cut the branch I'm sitting on as soon as I have achieved a tiny bit of leadership... Consistency is needed, OYS is the tool. Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/02/21 08:00 AM
0

OYS #45 ​ Lifting and training Repeated my 1RM in Bench of 90 kg the other day and it felt like I could have a few kg:s more. Nice. ​ Finances Had to pay for a large expense on the house and take it from the running costs. We managed to do that but that in turn made so that we didn't manage to lower our debt as much as planned. Overall on a decent track. ​ One year Challenge My one year challenge is one night per month outdoors. Did January by myselfm, was special feeling to sleep out in the woo…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/02/21 10:31 AM
2

Maybe it's just me, but it's really weird how things that I care about in >others start coming through the second I stop caring about whether they >display those things. I'm thinking here about the difference between 'wanting' something from somebody else and 'needing' something from somebody else. If I want, but not need, the other person to do something, then I have given the choice to that person, and it's up the them whether they want to follow my lead or not. Think hard about this question:…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/01/21 01:53 PM
2

Yea that is true, that is the main area where I want to improve our marriage right now. The rest is where I want it or very close. If I would work on improving something else it would likely be another covert contract. After three months I will make a new evaluation and see if I need to change something or if we are on the right track. The issue I had before was that I was always using the mantra "doesn't matter, we're anyway gonna divorce" as ego protection when rejected. Now when I will instea…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/01/21 01:11 PM
4

OYS #44 Stats : 46 years, married, two kids together, 2 of mine from previous marriage Health & Fitness : Lifting 3-4 times/week, cross-country skiing now in the season Finances: On track, been able to save some up on the big kids account for a short trip in February. Probable a cross-country skiing trip as downhill is not as corona-safe. Mental Models Again /u/HornsOfApathy gave solid advice, both in his comments and in his Youtube channel. Thanks guys. /u/HornsOfApathy /u/threekindsoflucky /u/…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/01/21 07:27 AM
3

This is a better model than the Dread Ladder, once you are past the very first stages
/r/MarriedRedPill22/01/21 01:49 PM
1

Great, looking forward to read about it in your next OYS. Good luck.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/01/21 07:53 AM
1

True, staying should be and action, not an inaction. Too much inaction in general.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/01/21 07:24 AM
2

Thanks that's solid. OYS is the tool I have to keep track of how it is going.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/01/21 06:39 AM
2

Yes it boils down to this, that I have to make a decision and stand by it. Whatever it is. My mindset now of “I’ll stay if this and that happens” doesn’t really work. Or set a timelimit, if things haven’t improved in 3 months I’m out.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/01/21 07:45 PM
1

See this is what is actually keeping me still in this relationship. I don't know how long I should wait for her to come around or whatever you call it. TBH I'm not sure she ever will. But how do I know that it's not just me being lazy and quitting instead of grinding on? This is where I have been struggling for a long time without progress. I'm also using the divorce option as a kind of protection against rejection, "it doesn't really matter we are any way gonna divorce".
/r/MarriedRedPill19/01/21 07:09 PM
2

>She loves you, but not like you think she should love you. This is the worst male hamster bullshit I have ever seen in here.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/01/21 03:47 PM
3

"she"-count: 16 "wife"-count: 8 Get a frame of your own and stop caring so much what she does and says. Do YOU want to be in an open relationship ? In this case translating to providing for someone who rides the dick carousel while you stay home and jerk off in the shower (most likely).
/r/MarriedRedPill19/01/21 03:43 PM
2

>Lifting: N/A. I prefer cardio as exercise but I know I need to lift as well. Trying to work out how to fit it in. Quit the bullshit, were talking 3-4 hours/week, it's not that hard. Use the lunch break, do it in the morning before work, do it in the evening after work etc. But stop using lame ass excuses and just do it.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/01/21 03:24 PM
1

Good point. I have learned to tell the difference by now and thought this could be a fun experiment to see what happens.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/01/21 03:10 PM
7

So this week, I tried using the erection test for initiating- no woody, no initiation- and I went three for four on initiations leading to sex. Good shit, where did you hear about this?
/r/MarriedRedPill19/01/21 01:42 PM
1

Stats: Age 46, married, 4 kids (of which 2 mine from previous LTR) ​ Lifts: 1RM : Deadlift 135kg, Bench 90kg, Squat 100kg Wender 531-program ​ Finances Approaching the end of the month the finances looks pretty good. It was a very good move to separate the kids finances from the rest of the common expenses. ​ Health Had a lot of activities going on on the weekend, cross-country skiing, ice skating, and two lifting sessions in the gym, one on Sunday eve that was heavy. On Monday I felt drained li…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/01/21 01:41 PM
4

> start getting comfortable with being uncomfortable and do those uncomfortable shit every day. Not a bad idea, small steps every day and focusing on changing one or a few things at a time is usually a good strategy
/r/MarriedRedPill19/01/21 11:25 AM
1

Cool, I’m using Beastmaker 1000 and the app for that.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/01/21 07:40 PM
2

Im not from the US, the banks have different policies here and you usually get the same benefits with a debit card as you do with a credit card, only real difference is that they start to charge you interest unless you pay your credit in time. Your point is still totally valid though.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/01/21 07:24 PM
2

OYS #42 ​ Stats: Age 46, married, 4 kids (of which 2 mine from previous LTR) ​ Lifts: 1RM : Deadlift 135kg, Bench 90kg, Squat 100kg Wender 531-program ​ Finances Going better than last year. My goal is to stop using credit cards and use only debit cards by the end of Q1. Have set up a system for the family where we have both common finances and separate finances and kids have their separate accounts for their expendes. Common expenses are house mortgages and maintenance, car costs, and food. The…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/01/21 01:56 PM
6

Since your case is very special and obviously different from everybody else, I would recommend something totally different for you: STFU. Read. Sidebar. Lift. Did I mention STFU? EDIT: Read your post history. You have some work to do that's for sure.
/r/askMRP12/10/20 07:53 AM
2

If you get up at 3am, how do you get enough sleep? You go to bed at 6pm? Or are you one of those “more than 5 hours of sleep are for wussies”-BS:ers?
/r/askMRP11/10/20 11:15 AM
22

A real man tells her woman at least three times a day “I can do what I want, you’re not my mom!” just to make sure she knows who’s the boss around the house
/r/askMRP11/10/20 10:37 AM
7

...said just about every addict
/r/askMRP01/10/20 01:54 PM
6

I've lifted the heaviest of weights Thanks bud, my morning coffe is now all over my keyboard and screen...
/r/askMRP01/10/20 08:23 AM
13

Skip the session and go lift instead
/r/askMRP30/09/20 05:18 PM
3

I would not loose sleep over the risk that Chad buys your house because of a BJ. For him she is most likely just another one of his client that he also happens to be fucking. But your post has a lot of "I think that she thinks" etc. For me that seems unnecesarry, it's just your hamster spinning it's wheel. There are two scenarios, A: she signs, B: she refuses. Make sure you have planned for what YOU are going to do in both those scenarios and hamster less.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/09/20 11:50 AM
0

Thank you
/r/MarriedRedPill15/09/20 11:44 AM
10

Ex wanted to borrow my car to pick something up, it would have needed to go on roof. I said I would get it for her and was happy to do that. I would like a relationships where helping each other (with small things) is not a problem. Picking it up would have required me to go outsider the lockdown distance (by a very small amount) and I said that I’ll go if she pays the fine, she said ‘very unlikely you would get fined’ but did not agree to pay. Later I said, if I get fined, I will be sending you…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/09/20 09:26 AM
4

My finances are secure, I can buy her 1/3 part of our new house. I just need her to sign a papar which obliges her to sell her part of the house to me at market value after our marriage ends. Do you think she'll sign the paper without understanding what's going on? Your plan is to make her sign, then present her with divorce papers and buy her out, right? What's your plan B if she understands what your plan is and refuses to sign?
/r/MarriedRedPill15/09/20 09:20 AM
2

OYS #40 Stats: 45 yo, 86kg, 189cm BP 90kg 1RM, Squat 100kg 1RM, DL 135kg 1RM Married with two kids 7&4 + two older kids 15&13 from previous LTR, the latter living half time at myplace (every other week) Mission: Still searching. My first step is to answer the question "why do I want to have a mission" Goals for next week - Be on top of finances, check status every morning - Be on top of work stuff, be proactive not reactive - Be on top with kids stuff, activities etc. Check status every morning …
/r/MarriedRedPill15/09/20 09:15 AM
8

I just... What.. the actual fuck did I just read... Read the sidebar. Shut the fuck Up. Lift.
/r/askMRP05/09/20 03:08 PM
1

A DEER spotted in the wild right there.
/r/askMRP29/07/20 07:39 PM
3

Even better, instead of being the guy who is trying to fuck her, be the guy she and other women are trying to fuck. Then you don’t have to worry about phrasing your compliments the right way. That’s a fundamental difference right there, be ing the guy she’s trying to fuck versus being the guy trying to fuck her. Before you understand the difference your progress will be limited.
/r/askMRP10/07/20 06:56 AM
1

Ok that’s great. Does the opposite hold true as well, ie skip a rest day when I feel the body is up for it? Sometimes I feel like I need more training than every other day, sometimes I feel like I need more rest. So instead of saying “mon, wed, fri” every week it can be one week mon, tue, thu, sat, sun, next week tue, thu, or something like that. Ie not fixed days. Also wondering about 5-3-1, if I want to do more bench press than once a week, is there a good way to put that into the program and …
/r/MarriedRedPill21/06/20 06:52 PM
1

Any thoughts about Wendler 531? With extra volume in accessory exercises, would that help me gain more muscle mass?
/r/MarriedRedPill20/06/20 04:27 AM
1

Great. I’m at the stop before, we’re I have reached a point where I always behave the way I want, now it’s her turn to step up. I need to lower the threshold for bad behavior and stop excusing it with “she is highly sensitive, she is easily stressed, she didn’t sleep etc” When you took over, did you verbalize it to your wife? Or how did you let her know?
/r/MarriedRedPill03/06/20 04:36 AM
1

I would prefer we stay together Why?
/r/MarriedRedPill02/06/20 01:47 PM
1

Good advice. Her stress also leads to self fulfilling prophecies, for example she’s convinced if the kids doesn’t eat dinner at 5 o’clock all he’ll will break loose, so if I’ve taken upon myself to make dinner and it’s not ready at 5 she goes nuts since she thinks the kids will break together etc. Of course the kids feel immideately that one of the parents is off and hence they get insecure and misbehave, to which she responds with more stress etc. I know from when she’s not at home that diner a…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/06/20 12:16 PM
1

OYS #40 Stats: Lifting/training Lifting 3 times/week, so far 5x5 but now changing to this routine: https://www.aworkoutroutine.com/the-muscle-building-workout-routine/ (feedback appreciated on this routine) 85 kg, 189 cm 1RM:s Squat 100kg, BP 90kg, DL 135 kg Diet Aiming for 3400 calories per day for growth. Use mostly( about 80%) raw commodities and avoid semi-processed, as well as white flour and white sugar, but not striving for 100% Typical meal setup: Breakfast: Oatmeal and a 3-egg omelette …
/r/MarriedRedPill02/06/20 10:53 AM
6

Yes I did. That one little thing she did was turning around, facing he pillow and asking that I take her doggy style. I love it when they bend down, not just stand on all four but really bow down and put the ass up in the air, that's the best. THEN i discovered that... no just kidding.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/05/20 02:08 PM
6

I killed the validation seeking. Then it came back. So i killed it again. It popped back up. Every time it comes back, it's weaker and doesn't stay as long before I kill it again. So I'm very close to real DNGAF. At this point it's no longer "how can I make myself attractive enough so wife will wanna fuck me", now it's "how do I create the life I wanna life and is my marriage worth keeping?"
/r/MarriedRedPill26/05/20 09:19 AM
9

Hey who said I quit? Anyway, this is good, I need to read it reguraly. Yes, that used to be me, a validation seeking faggot. Thanks for this post, a well needed refresher.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/05/20 08:22 PM
1

. /u/rianstone said something a while ago along the same lines, that it seemed I only desired what I was supposed to desire.. My inside fire comes and goes. Some seasonal shit, when it’s dark and cold (live way up north) I don’t have as much drive. Teaching climbing is still the highlight of the week. The other is when I play and roughhouse my kids until they are out of breath from laughter.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/02/20 04:22 PM
3

OK I have been reflecting on this for the last days and my take from this is: - I'm too much living in my own world and not the real world. Probably true. - I put too much of my own identity, my true self, into superficial things. Like with climbing. Without such a taken "cool" identity, I would just be an ordinary man and a nobody and that scares the shit out of me. This is true, it does. Same with the sex thing, I still want it for validation, from wife or somebody else. I thought I was over t…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/02/20 08:58 PM
1

I'm trying to process all this. It feels like I'm killing my ego over and over but the damn thing keeps popping back up, and I fall back into old patterns...
/r/MarriedRedPill05/02/20 08:44 PM
1

A year and a half i think, something like that
/r/MarriedRedPill04/02/20 05:17 PM
2

Is that Native American for “faggot”?
/r/MarriedRedPill04/02/20 01:08 PM
1

Well.. I like sex, and I like the connection it creates with someone else, yes. I see it as a sign that the relationship is functioning, so I guess that’s comfort, yes.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/02/20 01:04 PM
3

Good point. I find non-sexual closeness frustrating when I haven’t had sex in a while, so I don’t really feel like being close anymore. But you’re right there might be some CC hidden underneath still, got to look further down, thanks for pointing.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/02/20 01:00 PM
1

I give comfort to women who comes into my sexual frame, I’m safe in there and so are they. I like to be in there myself and I like company too. My own comfort comes from knowing that I’m comfortable being uncomfortable and can handle any shit life is able to throw at me, one way or another.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/02/20 12:42 PM
6

OYS #37 Info 45 yrs, Wife 39, Married since 2012, 2 kids 1 and 5 yrs + 2 older from previous LTR. Training/Lifting Gym 3 times/week + climbing DL 135kg/298lbs , Squat 90kg/198lbs 1RM Mission: To help as many people as I can to experience the joy of rock climbing. Vision: A community of people relentlessly ascending together, supporting and pushing each other beyond their comfort zone and developing physically, emotionally and spiritually, united by the love and passion for climbing. Vision for t…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/02/20 10:07 AM
1

When you did this without escalating, did you tell this verbally to your wife before or meanwhile comforting her?
/r/MarriedRedPill29/01/20 01:41 PM
1

Yea thats no doubt the simplest interpretation, Occhams razor etc. but the thing is... I don’t think I suck in bed. maybe I do and it’s just ego protection but I honestly don’t think I do. I guess it can also be a way of saying “I’m not getting the tingles and whatever you’ll do I won’t like it”
/r/MarriedRedPill14/01/20 07:07 PM
2

OYS #36 ​ Info 45 yrs, Wife 39, Married since 2012, 2 kids 1 and 5 yrs + 2 older from previous LTR. ​ Training/Lifting DL 135kg/298lbs , Squat 90kg/198lbs 1RM Switched to more climbing adjustet training. Added kroc rows to my program to train grip strength and get bigger lats. Mission: To help as many people as I can to experience the joy of rock climbing. ​ Vision: A community of people relentlessly ascending together, supporting and pushing each other beyond their comfort zone and developing p…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/01/20 03:37 PM
2

This is precisely what I want to communicate to all my 3 sons. Not sure how to formulate it though.
/r/askMRP29/11/19 12:59 PM
7

I am thinking of moving back with my wife to my parents house WFT?
/r/askMRP27/11/19 12:24 PM
1

Man, I love the fact that you have gone metric in your stats! As for the anxiety, I agree with the meditaion bit, it really helps. Also embrace this thought: "Sometimes its not about being comfortable but being comfortable being uncomfortable" I.e. its fine to have a bit of anxiety, dont worry about it and do whatever you were going to do anyway, be it work, lift, hang out with kids etc. Without having the feeling that you have to do something specifically to make the anxiety go away. Just let i…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/11/19 10:18 AM
2

OYS #34 ​ ​ Info ​ 44 yrs, Wife 39, Married since 2012, 2 kids 1 and 5 yrs + 2 older from previous LTR. About ≈20 months in, Paleo diet, 183lbs/83.3kg, 189 cm / 6ft 2 1/2inches ​ ​ Training/Lifting DL 135kg/298lbs, Squat 90kg/198lbs 1RM Lifting 5x5, back on a bit more strict Paleo diet Climbing 1-2 times/week, toprope indoors aorund 6c french grade ​ ​ Mission: To help as many people as I can to experience the joy of rock climbing. Vision: A community of people relentlessly ascending together, s…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/10/19 12:43 PM
1

What is your mission in life and how are you pursuing it at the moment?
/r/askMRP19/10/19 07:28 AM
1

Could be, can also be putting fear aside for a calculated objective risk that’s worth it
/r/MarriedRedPill17/10/19 07:27 PM
18

”When your fear keeps you alive, you should listen to it, When your fear stops you from being alive, you should. not. To be truly alive you must learn the difference” - ice_walker
/r/MarriedRedPill16/10/19 07:26 PM
2

I saw this guy the other day who would initiate every squat with a little bow, like bending slightly forward at the hips, then squatting while looking at his feet. Looked very awkward, and his lower back won’t be too happy...
/r/MarriedRedPill16/10/19 04:32 PM
14

Amaizing, I’ve made the exact same experience. When I first heard the guys here talk about abundance mentality, I thought it meant having so much sex that you just didn’t feel like it anymore. But I’ve come to make the same realization as you, it’s about killing the validation seeking and owning your sexuality, and having your needs met in other areas to start with.
/r/askMRP16/10/19 03:49 PM
1

Hmm what a mess I was... seriously... nice reminder!
/r/MarriedRedPill16/10/19 11:29 AM
2

OYS #33 ​ Info 44 yrs, Wife 39, Married since 2012, 2 kids 1 and 5 yrs + 2 older from previous LTR. About ≈20 months in, Paleo diet, 183lbs/83.3kg, 189 cm / 6ft 2 1/2inches ​ Training/Lifting DL 135kg/298lbs (New PB), Squat 90kg/198lbs (New PB) 1RM Lifting 5x5, back on a bit more strict Paleo diet Climbing 1-2 times/week, toprope indoors aorund 6c french grade ​ Mission: To help as many people as I can to experience the joy of rock climbing. ​ Vision: A community of people relentlessly ascending…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/10/19 03:59 PM
3

When you boulder, make sure to keep pressure on the feet. And keep your arms as straight as possible. That should be your concern, not what your wife thinks or does.
/r/askMRP09/10/19 11:33 AM
3

The trick is to focus on something else instead of trying to not focus on something (sex in this case). Find your passion in life, do it and do it often, make this your focus and you'll be able to think more clearly about the sex situation. I didn't have sex today? Nothing to worry about, I'm going rock climbing/surfing/skiing/collecting stamps tomorrow which is as awesome. The point is you'll start to see sex as one thing among others to spice up your life, not the only one thing that can make …
/r/askMRP11/09/19 07:00 AM
1

Your wife seems to avoid your touch from fear and disgust with your weak, slimy, tentative, indirect, cowardly beta initiations. You need to break this association by separating your touch from escalation for some time. You should continue game, kino and regular affectionate touch. You should also initiate regularly (I suggest about once per week), but only in a completely direct, bold, and unambiguous manner, such as looking her in her eyes and saying "Let's have sex" or "I still want you, old …
/r/MarriedRedPill29/08/19 06:48 AM
1

Yea those are good replies for someone who has frame already, but in OP:s case they will most likely just come off as butthurt, he is better off just STFU for the time being
/r/askMRP27/08/19 09:35 AM
1

She, she, she... it seems more important to you what SHE thinks about you and your business than the actual business. Ask instead, after five months, why isn't you business profitable? What is missing? What can you do differently? If you have saving, a solid plan for your business, are OK woth all outcomes, including going back to 9-5, then just carry on and give less fucks. Good luck
/r/askMRP27/08/19 09:32 AM
1

Havent maxed out on backsquats in a very long time so it's about time soon I guess..
/r/MarriedRedPill13/08/19 12:21 PM
2

I know I need to fix her feels, I need to figure out how to do that. No you don't. You are responsible for fixing YOU and YOUR feelz, that's it. Once you do that, you can start to decide to whom and what you choose to give your precisous time and attention. At that point, wife will either realize that she too needs to step up by fixing her own feelz, or not.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/08/19 12:20 PM
6

​ Turns out I was mistaken. He could be an emotional Chad or a way for her to flirt from time to time. Or simply nothing. You know you were mistaken because she said so? Apart from that, it sounds like great progress.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/08/19 12:09 PM
2

OYS #32 ​ Info 44 yrs, Wife 38, Married since 2012, 2 kids 1 and 5 yrs + 2 older from previous LTR. About ≈20 months in, Paleo diet, 183lbs/83.3kg, 189 cm / 6ft 2 1/2inches ​ Training/Lifting DL 135kg/298lbs (New PB), Squat 90kg/198lbs (New PB) 1RM Lifting 5x5, back on a bit more strict Paleo diet Climbing 2-3 times a week and lifting using the climbing gyms rack and barbell Have taken a break from Crossfit for now to focus more on climbing instead ​ Mission: To help as many people as I can to e…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/08/19 12:02 PM
1

What’s your mission? Is being a scout leader in line with your mission and your long term goal, then you might wanna push trough stretches of lower motivation. If it’s not, ditch it and find some hobby that are in line with your mission and goals. And also, stop this “what hobby should I pick up to be attractive” mindset. One of the worlds best extreme skiers has knitting as a hobby. I bet many women find him attractive, but it’s hardly because of the knitting. In general people are attracted to…
/r/askMRP10/08/19 01:52 PM
1

In other words, yes. I’m not saying it’s necessarily a bad thing but you clearly feel responsibility for the group having a leader and you would feel guilty if you left without a precessor.
/r/askMRP10/08/19 01:43 PM
3

Now there are definitely ways I could have done all of the above better. But I noticed myself thinking things like “my SMV just isn't high enough yet” and “I just need 10 more pounds of muscle” and “I need to get out of the house more to up the passive dread” and “she is an alpha widow after all.” And obsessing about it. Been there too for a long time. When fellows here at RP said "Do what YOU want" I managed to twist that in my head to "do what YOU want and wife will fuck you when she sees you …
/r/MarriedRedPill08/08/19 12:53 PM
3

More backstory pls, like where was he going for holiday and what colour had the blouse his wife was wearing at the time?
/r/MarriedRedPill08/08/19 12:45 PM
2

Your best option to your wife right now is probably the gym or making new friends. Start there I stead of worrying about getting laid, something is telling me that that’s isn’t actually your major issue even if you think so.
/r/askMRP04/08/19 07:02 PM
1

You can grieve while you lift. You can grieve while you read. You can grieve while you cook healthy meals. You can grieve while you go out for beer with mates. You can grieve while you pay bills and set up your budget. And the list goes on...
/r/askMRP04/08/19 06:07 PM
3

OYS #31 ​ Info 44 yrs, Wife 38, Married since 2012, 2 kids 1 and 5 yrs + 2 older from previous LTR. About ≈18 months in, CrossFit 3 times/week, Paleo diet, 183lbs/83.3kg, 189 cm / 6ft 2 1/2inches ​ Training/Lifting DL 135kg/298lbs (New PB), Squat 90kg/198lbs 1RM Crossfit classes 3 times/week. ​ Mission: To help as many people as I can to experience the joy of rock climbing. ​ Vision: A community of people relentlessly ascending together, supporting and pushing each other beyond their comfort zon…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/06/19 10:22 AM
1

I can see that you are new since you are missing the point. This is not Dancing Monkey Attraction Plan, and these narratives aren't designed to make any pussies wet, they are designed to be narratives that me and TBX can agree on so the divorce is on civil terms, for the sake of the kids. That's their purpose. The air squats arent there for hypertrophy, the thought behind this is twofold: - By starting the day with a small amount of physical moment kicks to live all sorts of processes in the bod…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/06/19 03:47 PM
1

I was thinking in terms of owning my weakness, showing vulnerable. Being in a monogamous relation is being vulnerable since you leave your needs for sex and intimacy etc to one person. Showing genuine desire, saying "Yes, I want you now", I'm 100% with you that it means opening up and showing vulnerable because you take the risk of rejection. But yea, I see your point.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/06/19 01:48 PM
1

Join the club, have a drink and grab a seat. My mother took off with my fathers colleague when I was in pre-school. Got raised by my father and saw her every other weekend. Guess if that has shaped my upbringing and my worldview? Guess if I’m blaming that on others or if I’m dealing with my own shit? Took me many years to get through because he’ll yea it’s a fucking trauma for a child. Do You think I want to do this to my kids because I think it’s so fucking hilarious? Think again. I’ve seen fuc…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/06/19 07:14 PM
1

Could you elaborate? As I see it as merely stating the fact that I don't want to put myself in that situation.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/06/19 11:40 AM
4

OYS #30 ​ Goals: - Squat 100 kg - Get back into training at least 3 times/week - To make a clean exit (if possible) from my current marriage over the course of one year in a way that does a little harm to the kids as possible - To set up a living arrangement that works as good as possible for myself, the kids and my TBX. ​ ​ New Routines Have started some new routines: Every morning directly after getting out of bed, no exceptions: 10 air squats, 10 push-ups, then make the beds. At breakfast or …
/r/MarriedRedPill04/06/19 09:16 AM
1

Yes, definitely. I’m doing “5 minute journal” routine which I read about here and it really helps to cultivate a mindset of gratitude aka abundance mentality. I can meet wife better where she is now and connect to her, since my own emotions aren’t all over the place. My sex life still isnt were I want it to be, but I don’t get butthurt about rejection anymore. At the point at which I am now, I instead focus on all the great things I do have in my life instead of what i don’t have. Doesn’t mean I…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/05/19 06:27 PM
1

No has been a bad winter with lots of sickness and a shoulder injury so I haven’t been willing to push myself.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/04/19 03:29 PM
1

Oys #30-ish Training/Lifting DL 135kg/298lbs (New PB), Squat 90kg/198lbs 1RM Crossfit classes 3 times/week. ​ Finances Well, more control but still not where I want them to be. We are managing to save a bit every month, but we are still living above our actual budget. I keep track of income and expenses, but need to get better in deciding beforehand how much to spend in the different areas each month. More planning ahead simply. Not my strongest side. ​ Relationship status/Marriage Shit tests co…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/04/19 11:10 AM
1

I talked to a female priest about precisely this. Conversation went like: Me:”...but then I feel like... am I wanting too much? From life, or my marriage..” Priestess: “If you are really honest with yourself, do you think you want too much?” Me: “No. Not really.” Priestess: “Well there’s your answer then.”
/r/askMRP21/12/18 08:22 PM
15

I don't get it. What do you mean with "fallen of"? You stopped lifting? Start lifting again. You stopped reading books? Start reading again. You lost frame in front of your wife? Learn from it and do better next time, STFU for example. Post OYS every week and be more specific and you'll get all the feedback you need, this post it too vague to give any useful advice. ​
/r/askMRP20/12/18 08:02 AM
1

These are good ideas. Will try. It seems, from what she says at least, that she wants to work this out together if possible.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/12/18 08:54 AM
1

I don't know man, I don't know. I'm an emotional fucker, always been. Turned down many chances for ONS and the like in the past because I didn't have the emotions in place. Has always been hard for me to have sex without emotion. But let's assume you are right. The thing is, I always try to put up a frame of sexual tension before, talking, eye contact, kino escalation etc, but it's hard, she doesn't respond. If I for example sit and talk about "shallow-deep shit", dreams, future, emotions etc, s…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/12/18 07:49 AM
1

Fuck it let's go bowling. Good points, really. /u/man_in_the_world said something similar a few weeks ago that I really took to my heart, about owning ones sexuality. But right now, I actually don't feel like waiting until end of May, feel like taking that talk now instead... Just to get it over with. Not to change her mind, just to be able to move on. At least I'm not angry with her anymore, or myself, we both did our best. Sometimes you eat the bear, sometimes the bear eats you...
/r/MarriedRedPill18/12/18 10:23 PM
1

She feels the dread for sure. And she tries to fuck but can't enjoy it if her life depends on it, ya know. She tries, just... theres not enough attraction for her to relax and enjoy the ride. As of now at least, it might change, but.... I don't think so. Instead, she tries to put the blame on me, I suck, I'm doing it wrong etc. If we were honest, and I mean totally brutally honest, I think we both know that "she's not mine, it's just my turn" and now my turn is over. She's blaming my technique, …
/r/MarriedRedPill18/12/18 09:32 PM
1

OYS #28(ish) ​ Info 44 yrs, Wife 38, Married since 2012, 2 kids 1 and 5 yrs + 2 older from previous LTR. About ≈14 months in, CrossFit 3 times/week, Paleo diet, 183lbs/83.3kg, 189 cm / 6ft 2 1/2inches ​ Mission ​ Goal ​ Training/Lifting DL 135kg/298lbs (New PB), Squat 90kg/198lbs (New PB) 1RM Crossfit classes 3 times/week. ​ Strenghts: Upper body strength good, excelling in legless rope climbs and toes-to-bar Weakness: Legs, my squat numbers really suck Goal: To squat my BW before Christmas **GO…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/12/18 12:58 PM
1

IMHO, you're being too hard on yourself. Did that just happen?
/r/MarriedRedPill07/12/18 10:21 AM
2

Yea mirror thinking is a bitch, nearly started WW3 more than once during the cold war days. I'm also noticing this strongly, for example my urge to check my wifes phone goes up exponentially now that I am cheating on her...
/r/MarriedRedPill13/11/18 07:41 PM
1

Also humans have a strong tendency to mirror thinking. If you for example start to use "going to the gym" as an excuse to meet others, then when your wife is going to the gym, you might start to assume she is doing the same as you. Can cause stress so be sure you can manage that too. ​
/r/MarriedRedPill13/11/18 07:10 PM
2

Whats your take on this: would you start sexting with her, ie fantasize together over messages, can that build up even more tension or will that just give her the thrill without putting in the effort? The context is very sexual already with double meanings, internal references to sex etc but not explicit
/r/MarriedRedPill13/11/18 06:30 PM
2

Training/Lifting BS 80 1RM (New pb), DL 130 1RM (New Pb) BP don't know Have started taking 5g of Creatine phosphate daily, and have noticed a difference in lifing, get a little bit of extra energy. Also more energy in general. Have a slight shoulder inflammation in the AC-joint, probably due to olympic lifting. Physio said no overhead movements and no presses, ie stick to DL, BS, pull ups and rowing for now. ​ Work Going well, working in a new group, kind of R'n'D. Working on future visions for …
/r/MarriedRedPill13/11/18 12:42 PM
1

I see your point
/r/MarriedRedPill12/10/18 12:32 PM
8

I have a mission and I'm following it. Good. Go for it. The rest is irrelevant.
/r/askMRP09/10/18 08:34 PM
2

Very good points. I would not actually assault him, wouldn't be worth it. But I don't consider him a trustworthy friend anymore since he clearly has no boundaries. Therefore it would be impossible to go back to the normal relation we once had when we were still hanging out as couple with him and his wife and kids. Also my wife has by action stated very clearly that she's not interested in that, she wants him as male friend/orbiter/plate/whatever, or she'd invited me also for that lunch. So here …
/r/MarriedRedPill09/10/18 01:36 PM
2

Agree, that's probably my major weakness. Need to be less reactive.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/10/18 01:26 PM
2

Thanks good advice, spot on. Will take this with MAP to my heart and actually do it. And I think that I have to embrace the fact that a lot of the things I do have double meanings. Like putting together a group of people and go for beer, is fun and can get me laid. Like becoming awesome at painting, is fun and can let me connect with women. Or like training crossfit, it's fun, it keeps me healthy and let's me meet hot women. etc etc. So most of the things I do have the side effect of meeting wom…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/10/18 12:09 PM
2

Don't compare people, everyone is different anyway thus every relation you will have with other people is going to be different. I know this because just until recently I was comparing every romantic relation I had to my first LTR which ended 20 years ago. See instead what value she brings into your life, then you can decide if it is a relation worth your time and efforts.
/r/askMRP09/10/18 11:52 AM
3

OYS #26 ​ Info 43 yrs, Wife 38, Married since 2012, 2 kids 1 and 5 yrs + 2 older from previous LTR. About ≈12 months in, CrossFit 3 times/week, Paleo diet, 183lbs/83.3kg, 189 cm / 6ft 2 1/2inches ​ Mission ​ Goal To take up rock climbing again ​ Training/Lifting DL 120kg/242lbs, Squat 75kg/165lbs 1RM Crossfit classes 3 times/week. ​ Strenghts: Upper body strength good, excelling in legless rope climbs and toes-to-bar Weakness: Legs, my squat numbers really suck Goal: To squat my BW before Christ…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/10/18 09:08 AM
1

Holy fuck.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/10/18 08:32 AM
1

You might be right. Right now I’ve checked out enough to start fucking other women, just didn’t happen yet but I won’t have any doubts of going for it when I get the opportunity. But I think, without knowing for sure, that divorce will happen either way.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/10/18 04:55 PM
4

Thanks for feedback. I have decided now to go all in, so I've installed Tinder and set up a lunch date for Friday, we'll see what happens...
/r/MarriedRedPill04/10/18 03:11 AM
2

Better question, why do you think you aren't? Because logistics are more difficult than status quo? Because I lack abundance mentality.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/10/18 01:39 PM
2

No, I meant when we had some neighbours over for BBQ and the woman was openly flirting with me, then she fucked me good the following day. But I think you are right, the tingles are completely gone.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/10/18 01:00 PM
2

One problem is that I can endure pain, lots of it. Too much. Also emotional pain as I have discovered. I know my dread level is zero, and it's totally self inflicted. For a while it was up a little bit but I pushed it backed down to zero by unsolicited divorce threats. Yes, divorce is for sure an option.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/10/18 12:44 PM
2

Thanks for your feedback! One thing I'm struggling with and finding it hard to make up my mind, is in fact the abundance mentality. I find it hard to acheive this more than temporary, like if I have a positive interaction with a woman it feels good for a while but eventually wears off. Is this something I should just own and make sure I have such interactions regularly? Doesn't necessarily means fucking, but at least feeling the interest from other women. Also, I'm considering if I should do lik…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/10/18 06:54 AM
2

Basic stuff but good reminder that I need still. Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/10/18 05:35 PM
2

Was hoping for a response from you /u/man_in_the_world . Do you think I can just leave the whole situation with MrNewAge for now and focus on myself, or do I need to set this boundary straight right now regardless of cost? Because the truth is I do not feel comfortable with wife having this type of relationships with other men, regardless of circumstances. Set boundary now and risk everything or wait until I have some frame, or just leave it and accept it?
/r/MarriedRedPill02/10/18 05:32 PM
2

Your frame is non-existent. Everything you do is reactionary. Any examples and tips on how to turn it around?
/r/MarriedRedPill02/10/18 11:26 AM
2

Also I realized another thing. Was looking through some old email and found one from just a month after we got married in which we were discussion going out to listen to some live music. And she was asking something like "How about we ask MrNewAge to come along?". Not "How about we ask some friends", not "How about we ask Mr and MrsNewAge", but just that. Then I understood how deeply this goes and how difficult it will be to change it now. ​
/r/MarriedRedPill02/10/18 11:17 AM
2

I think that if I would say something like "I'm not comfortable with you having lunch with NewAge, imagine if I would have lunch with Sandra, how would that make you feel", then she'd just say pretty much what you suggested, maybe even comfort me and say I have nothing to worry about, I'm her husband, she's not cheating, NewAge has a GF too so nothing to worry about etc etc. So that I'm not going to do. When I do bring it up, I will bring it up like "Being one of several close male friends does …
/r/MarriedRedPill02/10/18 10:55 AM
2

OYS #25 OK so this week it's going to be a lot about my marriage, pls bear with me but this is where I'm mostly in need of support/advice right now. "She"-count: probably a bit on the higher end Info 43 yrs, Wife 38, Married since 2012, 2 kids 1 and 5 yrs + 2 older from previous LTR. About ≈10 months in, CrossFit 3 times/week, Paleo diet, 183lbs/83.3kg, 189 cm / 6ft 2 1/2inches Mission To prevent as many young men as possible to mess up their LTR:s/lives like I have Goal To write a "relationship…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/10/18 09:27 AM
1

I'm still here. Still working. Didn't post OYS in a while for a number of reasons, fucking up (lost frame completely) and being ashamed about it being one. Anyway appreciate you took the time to chat.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/09/18 06:37 AM
2

eating normal family meals at weekends not getting enough protein in Whats a normal family meal? Sounds strange that you wouldn't get enough protein from a regular meal. Time to look over the diet for the whole family? Could be a good opportunity to show some leadership.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/09/18 06:42 AM
1

Not the right way to go about it. All it'll do is make you hang on to that covert contract for a longer period of time. Ask me how I know. Damn it, you're right. There I used that word "hope" again, should learn to recognize that as a marker for a covert contract. Thanks for the pointer.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/08/18 12:08 PM
3

OYS #24 ​ Info 43 yrs, Wife 38, Married since 2012, 2 kids 1 and 5 yrs + 2 older from previous LTR. About ≈10 months in, CrossFit 3 times/week, Paleo diet, 183lbs/83.3kg, 189 cm / 6ft 2 1/2inches Vision I still want my vision to become clear. Don't know what it is yet. ​ Training/Lifting DL 120kg/242lbs, Squat 75kg/165lbs 1RM Crossfit classes 3 times/week. ​ Strenghts: Upper body strength good, excelling in legless rope climbs and toes-to-bar Weakness: Legs, my squat numbers really suck Goal: To…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/08/18 08:47 AM
1

Regarding kids that have tantrums and hits you, you might want to look at some of Ross W Greene:s stuff. Bottom line is, always meet tantrums and undesired behaviors without getting emotionally involved. Doesn’t mean not to set boundaries, but to do it without gettin emotionally upset. Hard as fuck in the beginning but possible with practice.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/08/18 06:02 AM
1

Maybe you are right. I think my anger with wife comes from jealousy. I’m jealous and angry with myself for that when we started the relation, her intention was to have kids. Now she has that. My intention was to have sex and other fun stuff together. We do fun stuff, but we don’t have enough sex. So I feel kind of cheated since she is getting what she wants, and I’m not.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/08/18 02:27 PM
1

OYS #24 ​ Info 43 yrs, Wife 38, Married since 2012, 2 kids 1 and 5 yrs + 2 older from previous LTR. About ≈7 months in, CrossFit 3 times/week, Paleo diet, 183lbs/83.3kg, 189 cm / 6ft 2 1/2inches ​ Vision I want my vision to become clear. Don't know what it is yet. Maybe it is painting, but maybe I'm just the type of person who likes to play, windsurfing, climbing, slacklining etc. Eternal teenager kind of, I feel like that sometimes. ​ Training/Lifting DL 120kg/260lbs (New PB), Squat 75kg/165lbs…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/08/18 07:03 AM
2

This all the way.
/r/askMRP20/08/18 10:42 AM
5

Or, better, show her pictures of puppies and kittens and say with tear filled eyes “Look at them, are you saying I’m suppose to let them die alone in their dark tiny little cages? How can you be so cruel???”
/r/askMRP20/08/18 10:09 AM
6

Bohoo, girls are stupid and I don’t like them. Ok, so you don’t like it. Now shut up and go lift or do something productive instead of whining.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/08/18 10:07 AM
5

What would you do if you were a single dad? How would you solve it with the kids then? Could you actually find a way to make it work? If you could, do that. Otherwise, you are depending on your wife to solve this and you can’t force her if she doesn’t buy in on the idea.
/r/askMRP20/08/18 09:50 AM
3

A post which uses quotes from Point Break (the 90-s version with Keanu Reeves I assume, the remake sucks) and Kurt Cobains suicide notes for life advice has my upvote.
/r/askMRP17/08/18 02:48 PM
5

Blimey, that IS progress. And remember, the progress is not in your wife, or not even in your relation with your wife, but wholly within YOU, old chap! (Thank you /u/BluePillProfessor for pointing this out to me)
/r/askMRP17/08/18 10:38 AM
29

What would a good leader do if one of the team members talks BS about him to the other team members and he finds out? He wouldn't get emotional about it. He wouldn't start to argue about it. He would not start to defend or explain himself. He would identify this as a potential problem, that may or may not need to be adressed at this point. If it needs to be adressed, he would do so in a non-emotional manner, with the team member in question, and not relate it to the situation at hand, in this ca…
/r/askMRP16/08/18 08:44 AM
2

I have two points that has helped me: Have fun, don't be fun. The first is something you do for yourself, the latter something you do for others to like you. Act as if I was single. For example I want to go rock climbing. If I want to go with the kids, I arrange the trip together with another family so kids have someone to play with at the crag. If I want to go alone, I arrange a babysitter, this may or may not be my wife depending on what plans she has. Either way, the bottom line is to not be …
/r/askMRP14/08/18 02:23 PM
1

Both, likes sex and is into me Yes, that’s what I mean.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/08/18 06:29 AM
1

I want sex that “floats” with a partner that’s horny and that’s initiated by me, as opposed to planned transitional sex (“weekly Saturday lay” or similar)
/r/MarriedRedPill12/08/18 10:48 PM
1

Good to hear, sounds like some real progress! One thought on your list: Be more fun This is something you do for others, maybe even with a covert contract behind it, like "if I'm more fun they'll like me more" (been there, done that). You could instead try with Have more fun [in my social interactions] Slowly her attitude is changing, fairly certain she is depressed but that's not my problem to fix. If you are the captain and one of the crew members have a depression and doesn't deal with it acc…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/08/18 08:14 AM
1

Thank you! Part of weak legs is from having climbed for 20 years and not train legs at all besides running. Don't have the numbers on protein but eat quite some meat and fish. Discovered last week doing Bulgarian Split Squats that my left leg is substantially weaker than than my right, could be due to a former back injory/slipped disk, or something else. Might get some exercises focused on this imbalance.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/08/18 11:13 AM
2

OYS #23 Info 43 yrs, Wife 38, Married since 2012, 2 kids 1 and 5 yrs + 2 older from previous LTR. About ≈8 months in, CrossFit 3 times/week, Paleo diet, 183lbs/83.3kg, 189 cm / 6ft 2 1/2inches Training/Lifting DL 120kg/264lbs (New PB!) , Squat 75kg/165lbs 1RM Strenghts: Upper body strength good, excelling in legless rope climbs and toes-to-bar Weakness: Legs, my squat numbers really suck Goal: To do a kipping bar muscle up before the end of the summer Reading Meditations by Marcus Aurelius The M…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/08/18 09:15 AM
1

Yea you got good points of course. Was totally in her fram until recently.
/r/askMRP04/08/18 09:03 AM
2

Why can’t you keep the house even if she moves out? Is it impossible for financial reasons or do you not want? Who owns the house today?
/r/askMRP28/07/18 08:49 PM
2

Thanks ;) Was actually thinking a lot about the story with you and the beard recently. Bought a new baseball cap and wife was shit testing like crazy about it. Kind of similar situation. Still wear it every day and she doesn’t comment anymore.
/r/askMRP25/07/18 04:56 PM
9

so it was me, the beard, three attractive females and 8 kids in the house
/r/askMRP25/07/18 10:27 AM
1

My impression is, that she wouldn't care that much if I would handle it nicely with discretion and didn't talk about it with her. When for example I stay out late with friends and come home way after midnight, she never asks too many questions or seem the least worried. So either she trusts me completely or just doesn't want to know, rather keep her comfortable life etc. Yea I've been following the steps of dred. Only recently have I started to get back into my own frame though.
/r/askMRP24/07/18 11:10 PM
1

What I mean is the risk that the wrong person sees my profile and the fact that I'm there is relayed to my wife. Any good tips on maintaining opsec while spinning?
/r/askMRP24/07/18 10:40 PM
1

This is finally sinking in now, time to start dating... Seems like dating apps (Tinder etc) come with a very high risk of disclosure though, or am I wrong?
/r/askMRP24/07/18 09:51 PM
6

What captain leaves his ship in the life boat as soon as the storm comes? Get yourself together, eat properly, make sure to plan in a nap for yourself here and there, and be the oak. What happenes the next few weeks your wife will remember forever. Be the oak. Go back home. You support your wife, if you in turn need support to function properly, you ask someone else, friend, relative etc.
/r/askMRP21/07/18 01:38 PM
4

This applies: https://www.dailyshoring.com/circle-of-grief-ring-theory/ Your wife and your MIL are in the center of the circle, you are one notch further out. Good luck.
/r/askMRP10/07/18 02:51 PM
1

This comment is gold. Thanks.
/r/askMRP30/06/18 08:30 PM
3

I agree, it's difficult shit for sure since I was BB from the start without realizing it. Our relationship was full of covert contracts from my side. We have kids, timeframe is until the end of the year I don't actually think I will live together with a woman again if this marriage breaks, I might be in LTR at some point but this whole living together thing is not for me.
/r/askMRP30/06/18 08:21 PM
1

Thank you. You told me something about "taking the gold from the dragon" a few months ago, is that right? Anyway, that was really good advice, I didn't understand it at the time but I do now. I might or might not able to tame the dragon, time will tell, but I will get the gold either way.
/r/askMRP30/06/18 04:54 PM
1

I don’t see it that way luckily.
/r/askMRP29/06/18 03:49 PM
1

Yes I have. Thats why I don’t do starfish anymore. Don’t want to be a rapist and don’t want wife to be a rape victim, then it’s better we go separate ways if she doesn’t come around.
/r/askMRP29/06/18 02:54 PM
2

Good for you! That funny and cocky I can unfortunately only be when I'm rested and unstressed. Have tried to fake it but it shines through immideately.
/r/askMRP29/06/18 02:32 PM
1

Yea I’ll tell what happens in coming OYS. But realistically I don’t think much will except maybe more of the same.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/06/18 04:33 PM
3

She has resigned already.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/06/18 01:00 PM
3

OYS #20 Info 43 yrs, Wife 37, Married since 2012, 2 kids 1 and 4 yrs + 2 older from previous LTR. About ≈7 months in, lifting 5x5SL/CrossFit 3 times/week, Paleo diet, 183lbs/83.3kg, 189 cm / 6ft 2 1/2inches Vision To start a rock climbing group for kids and youngsters with neuropsychiatric disorders (ADD, ADHD, Autism, Aspergers). I see a lot of potential for what climbing could do in terms of improved focus, social interaction, movement, and just plain old fun, for these kids. Training/Lifting …
/r/MarriedRedPill12/06/18 10:58 AM
7

Haha I had the same when wife found WISNIFG on our tablet and I got this gem from wife: “First you read this book called WISNIFG and now you suddenly say ‘no’ all the time!”
/r/askMRP09/06/18 04:02 PM
3

That and the agreed sex moratorium part
/r/askMRP09/06/18 03:02 PM
2

Lift. Read. STFU. NMMNG says says to talk to wife etc yes, but in general it’s better to STFU and focus on the above instead.
/r/askMRP09/06/18 02:22 PM
2

Dude, I was exactly where you are a few months ago. I was sure she was planning on separation and we would never have sex again. So might as well have the talk straight away, right? Guess whose frame I was in? You need to realize that these are YOUR thoughts that goes on inside YOUR head. What really goes on inside hers, you cannot really know for sure, and never will. Read about “mirror thinking”, which means assuming that an opponent is thinking and acting just like how oneself would if put in…
/r/askMRP05/06/18 04:29 PM
1

>I remember Rian Stone's post awhile back describing how some people spend so much effort thinking "what is the red pill way to do this, or what would an alpha response be?" instead of just living your live on red pill hard mode. Interesting, I made precisely the same realisation a little while back. To much thinking, overanalyzing every single thing wife said, not even emptying the damn dish washer without first thinking if it was the right move from an RP perspective in this very moment... Got…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/06/18 12:41 PM
1

You know it bro
/r/askMRP03/06/18 08:23 PM
1

you stuck your dick in crazy (legit possibility IMHO) and you signed up surfing winter Pipeline sized waves, she is just super stubborn and completely unwilling to take your balls out of her purse and hand them back to you, or she is just not attracted to you (was she ever completely into you sexually . . . total slut?) I think a combination between 2 and 3 mostly. I wouldn't call her crazy, but she is a little bit.. different. But then again, so am I. Another thing that came to mind now is that…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/05/18 02:51 PM
1

Thanks brother. You're right, this kind of bullshit would've sent me to orbit a year ago...
/r/MarriedRedPill30/05/18 12:00 PM
5

There is no way to know if she is actually just genuinely curious on a phenomenon that has a profound change on our society when it comes to dating and mating, or if it's hypergamy at play, or a mixture of both. I think you handled it good.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/05/18 06:14 AM
2

Good point. She's resigned already, she'll be leaving next month. So no, I'm not gonna shit where I eat.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/05/18 09:12 PM
0

Haha yea maybe ;)
/r/MarriedRedPill29/05/18 08:23 PM
2

And the 🍁
/r/askMRP29/05/18 08:05 PM
1

That’s a great movie. Best opening scene ever, if you ask me.
/r/askMRP29/05/18 04:57 PM
1

I think i was doing to many warm up reps with too heavy weight, think I should have warmed up on 80kg maximally and then gone directly for the 120, maybe one rep on 100 before.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/05/18 04:03 PM
1

To take the analogy further, in a way she is actually onboard my ship, yet taking small detours on her own every now and then in the dingy.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/05/18 02:47 PM
1

I think in this case, it's more like she has a very clear direction, and doesn't want to be directed, at least not by a man. Stubborn hell yea. My approach right now? She can steer her life as she wants as long as I get what I want from the marriage, which I don't at the moment unfortunately.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/05/18 01:41 PM
-1

Addition to work: Something happened today. I have this woman in my office, she's hot, probably 8, and 10 years younger than me ( I think, don't know exact age). I have been flirting with her every now and then for a long time. Today we got physical for the first time. We were talking, like emotionally, not the friendly-between-colleagues talk about house and kids. I'm all the time saying flirty things with double meaning and striking her ego at the same time, and man did it work. After the talk…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/05/18 01:07 PM
3

Careful with the running. I was running for many years and even if it is nice and meditative, it only made me thin as fuck. Focus on lifting instead and go running once-twice a week for cardio, I would say. But you do you.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/05/18 11:34 AM
6

OYS #19 Info 43 yrs, Wife 38, Married since 2012, 2 kids 1 and 4 yrs + 2 older from previous LTR. About ≈6 months in, lifting 5x5SL/CrossFit 3 times/week, Paleo diet, 183lbs/83.3kg, 189 cm / 6ft 2 1/2inches Vision To start a rock climbing group for kids and youngsters with neuropsychiatric disorders (ADD, ADHD, Autism, Aspergers). I see a lot of potential for what climbing could do in terms of improved focus, social interaction, movement, and just plain old fun, for these kids. Haven't done anyt…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/05/18 08:49 AM
1

Or restrict her screen time
/r/askMRP24/05/18 03:46 PM
1

Sounds like two baked stoners in college arguing to me, one wants to watch cheech’n’chong and the other wants to play Mario Kart...
/r/askMRP24/05/18 03:37 PM
1

That's the usual process when you learn something new. First your success rate is 0%. Then you practice and after time it's maybe 10%. Practice a bit more and youre at 25% etc etc. But it takes time to get close to 100%. You seem to be at 50% now, just keep practising.
/r/askMRP24/05/18 07:46 AM
7

If you don't want to talk politics, just change the subject and talk about something else.
/r/askMRP23/05/18 06:25 PM
9

Of all the advice I have gotten in all my life in all kinds of settings and contexts, STFU is the must valuable and life changing.
/r/askMRP23/05/18 06:24 PM
1

Now i suddenly feel that if i give out more, i could be identified also by others than the directly involved. OK if I PM you?
/r/askMRP22/05/18 05:37 PM
2

Hmm let me DEER a bit: I haven’t gone to Lunch specifically, have invited women out for drinks though on a couple of occasions that wife doesn’t knows about (Not “invite” as in I paid though..)
/r/askMRP19/05/18 09:43 AM
1

Yea Im listening. I'm spending the evening walking around my house, taking farewell to every room, and taking farewell to every dream I had that will never be. If she does it again, or doesn't come to terms with these boundary, it's over. And I think this is the likely outcome since she's already hamstered everything around so it's my fault that she feels bad when I tell her she crossed a boundary.
/r/askMRP18/05/18 08:21 PM
1

Fuck. I regret now that I didn’t fuck his wife when I had the chance.
/r/askMRP18/05/18 06:33 PM
1

Why is everybody assuming that he wouldn’t be loyal to me if I tell him my concerns? Aren’t there loyal friends out there?
/r/askMRP18/05/18 05:36 PM
1

Too late, I’ve already said it’s a boundary for me. Have no choice anymore. Yea I think it’s like this, he is a beta and that’s why she’s drawn to him and compares me to him. Don’t see why he would mind being an emotional tampon, he has a girlfriend already.
/r/askMRP18/05/18 05:00 PM
1

Yea i could. Haven’t done it though since I’m married. Agree. But I’m not there yet unfortunately.
/r/askMRP18/05/18 04:57 PM
1

Emotional tampon I’d say is the most likely option. She has met him solo in the past and then I was totally fine with that, that was before she started to compare me with him etc
/r/askMRP18/05/18 04:43 PM
2

Agree
/r/askMRP18/05/18 04:33 PM
1

Yea I guess everyone sees me as a faggot. Except you. Haha. But seriously I’m asking, do you think I should talk to him as well? I think it might be innocent from his side, but he knows we’ve had problems in our marriage.
/r/askMRP18/05/18 04:29 PM
2

She thought my initiation was too straight on and I was too blunt. He’s a small, very timid and calm guy, I guess she meant I should be more like him.
/r/askMRP18/05/18 04:27 PM
1

The backstory here is key. She’s doing it to make me jealous and she’s succeeding so far. I’m setting a boundary.
/r/askMRP18/05/18 04:11 PM
2

There’s a long backstory here. He he’s been a common friend for years. We’ve done lots and lots together. But this winter she started to use him as a weapon, said he had been flirting with her (which I don’t believe), and that he is attractive, and that I should ask him for advice on sex (!)
/r/askMRP18/05/18 04:09 PM
66

Yea, and just like with money, when you have none, and need it the most, it’s hardest to get...
/r/askTRP18/05/18 02:33 PM
1

Should i tell you something for no particular reason? I basically had oneitis for my wife before I even met her. So I think I’ll take your advice, back off a bit, and start in that end instead...
/r/askMRP18/05/18 02:18 PM
1

Like the analogy, will internalize
/r/askMRP18/05/18 10:18 AM
1

When I’ve had a long period off, I usually start by watching some YouTube tutorial with the guys above or some other artist, that gives a lot of inspiration.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/05/18 10:05 AM
1

Yea would have been cool to see. Are you still painting nowadays?
/r/MarriedRedPill18/05/18 10:00 AM
1

That makes sense. I have also started to think of sex as something I give to whom I choose, instead of something I desperately need from my wife. If wife is behaving like a total bitch, I don’t feel like having sex with her. Before I’d try to escalate anyway even if I knew she’d get pissed just to display my OI, but because I wasn’t genuine I only came off as needy and without options, hence trying to have sex with someone behaving like an asshole towards me, now instead I withdraw attention and…
/r/askMRP18/05/18 09:50 AM
3

This advice i needed as well. Right now I’m in the same place as OP, and I’m also trying the “Go with the Flow”, so I only initiate seriously when I think there’s not going to be a rejection. But one question, did you initiate no matter about previous rejections, or did you withdraw attention for a period before initiating again? I’m asking because I see that initiating is also giving wife attention, and if I do it constantly, then I’m constantly giving her attention, thus devaluing it.
/r/askMRP18/05/18 07:02 AM
1

This has been my thoughts as well. I think it might come up pretty soon, I might go climbing with MrNewage on the weekend, and it's then likely that wife will make a comment like "I also want to go climbing with/see MrNewage". So that could be the right time to set the boundary. Shouldn't be a big deal, wife has said a couple of times "You are not supposed to met XYZ alone" about women whom she sees as potential threats. We actually have some kind of agreement from the past that seeing people of…
/r/askMRP17/05/18 02:38 PM
1

Another thing, do you think I should be proactive here and bring this up, or wait until she maybe brings it up at some point, ie says she wants to meet up with him, which might or might not happen? I guess here idea is to show me “Look, if you have sex with someone else I will too”, or something like that. Weird in a way since I don’t really want to have sex with someone else, but I guess she doesn’t feel as secure as she has before.
/r/askMRP17/05/18 04:25 AM
1

I'll have a look at it, thanks. I use acrylics, charcoal and oils, and I also do digital painting. I strive for realism, often with dreamy or fantasy elements in. Landscapes, often imagined ones, and portraits is what I mostly do. Read and watch a lot of material from Stan Prokopenko and Steve Huston for learning technique.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/05/18 07:39 PM
1

Maybe I confused things with the yoga, she has actually not said anything about doing yoga with him, that was me. But I can imagine that she could, in a couple of weeks or so, say that she wants to go and visit him and bla bla whatnot. In order to make a statement of some sort. I hope she doesn't, and I don't think she will, but it could happen I think. Handle her crush in the usual way, set boundaries without mate guarding. My version of this would be to state that she is not meeting him alone,…
/r/askMRP16/05/18 07:14 PM
1

I think if I know her right, her next move will be in a few weeks, and then she’ll say she wants to go see him, or go climbing with him, or maybe do yoga or something similar. But I’m not sure if she’ll actually do that, since it’d be a major provocation. Also not sure how I will act when/if it happens. Think I should just say “no” to that since it’s clear that she feel emotions from him. Well to be honest I do to, he’s a very spiritual person and he really sees people, in some esoteric way. But…
/r/askMRP16/05/18 02:36 PM
1

Yea maybe I wasn't so clear. Lately I have seen some changes, wife has seen other women showing strong IOI/flirting, I have stepped up in leadership, she is resisting, don't know if she does this to see if I'm genuine or fake, or because she doesn't want to be lead by me. Anyway, this asking for his number I see as an attempt to provoke, given what she has said about him in the past. She wants to get a reaction out of me to see that I'm still afraid that she'll leave or cheat or whatever. My int…
/r/askMRP16/05/18 10:18 AM
1

Paul sellers That's like wood porn, I love it. Thanks for the tip and good luck with the stool
/r/MarriedRedPill15/05/18 09:21 PM
1

I did leave it out. So I probably sounded more like a 15 year old trying to be tough
/r/askMRP15/05/18 07:52 PM
1

Yea, if she honestly just wanted to talk to him as a friend she would have already just text led him on Facebook and ask for his number, no need to ask me, clearly she wants to make a point by making me give her the number. Ok that was a lot of hamstering but whatever. What I’ll probably do is just say “why are you asking me, if you want his number l, just ask him for it, I’m not engaging in this.” If she brings it up face to face
/r/askMRP15/05/18 07:19 PM
1

Yea in a way it’s less worrying that she’s using a close friend of mine to trying to make me jealous, I don’t understand why she doesn’t use a colleague I don’t know or similar, make it seem like she’s just making a drama. I don’t think yoga-dude would actually bang her, partly because we are close friends and partly because he’s in a relation and as far as I know he’s the monogamous type.
/r/askMRP15/05/18 07:09 PM
1

I hardly know myself, he is very soft, do yoga and has an almost feminine aura around him and has until recently been in a DB for 6 years. (He told me since we are pretty close friends). Maybe she’s trying to say she wishes I was more like him, but I don’t think she really want that, but she says because she’s afraid of me changing
/r/askMRP15/05/18 06:17 PM
1

It sounds like you don't have the skills yet to handle this in a way that won't come across as mate guarding, pissed off, or desperate. Your best bet, then, is to probably ignore it while you figure out how you're going to handle it if it comes up again. Exactly, I’m risking to loose frame and come of as one or all of the above... I’ve already ignored it and now she’s asking again saying it’s up to me to give her the number or she’ll ask him directly on Facebook. So pretty clear she’s threatenin…
/r/askMRP15/05/18 05:59 PM
1

Right now, I'm still thinking in which order to do things, talk to the gym owner first or setup the group first. I haven't teached climbing before, but I have some teaching experience. I have good connections with the local gyms and the community since I've climbed actively for over 20 years. One idea is to pitch it to the climbing gym and do it in cooperation with them, this is what I'm leaning towards right now. I couldn't do it alone, would definitely need helpers. This could be a tricky part…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/05/18 01:25 PM
1

Nope, but you'll be the fist to know once it's inaugurated...
/r/MarriedRedPill15/05/18 12:27 PM
1

Didn't make it to the gym this week for reasons. C'mon dude. Does your home have a floor? If it does, you can still do burpees, situps, push-ups etc even if you don't make it to the gym. No sex. Still gaming every day. Only your wife or other women as well? How is she responding, not at all, getting angry, withdrawing?
/r/MarriedRedPill15/05/18 12:09 PM
7

OYS #18 Info 43 yrs, Wife 37, Married since 2012, 2 kids 1 and 4 yrs + 2 older from previous LTR. About ≈7 months in, lifting 5x5SL/CrossFit 3 times/week, Paleo diet, 183lbs/83.3kg, 189 cm / 6ft 2 1/2inches Vision To start a rock climbing group for kids and youngsters with neuropsychiatric disorders (ADD, ADHD, Autism, Aspergers). I see a lot of potential for what climbing could do in terms of improved focus, social interaction, movement, and just plain old fun, for these kids. Reading Re-readin…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/05/18 08:53 AM
1

Thank you brother! I am asking myself that question, because this is a pattern i keep repeating and when I can break this pattern, I'm suspecting it will be a quantum leap. And I think it is about to happen soon. The pattern is: I do some progress, focus on my own stuff, develop a tiny, tiny bit of something resembling leadership, and then BAAAMMM I fall back into her frame again.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/05/18 07:38 PM
1

Fun that you mention it, there’s already a LIC going on regarding that, I turn I t the right way but she keeps turning the roll the wrong way.... But it’s more amusing than actually annoying
/r/askMRP10/05/18 07:49 AM
1

Why is 5 Love Languages not in the sidebar? Good communication and emotional closeness is the key to great sex, I’ve heard.
/r/askMRP10/05/18 06:44 AM
1

You nailed it buddy. About going Rambo, i did that already, this is MRP take 2 for me, focusing on leadership and frame. Key for me now is the “don’t be unattractive” part rather than “be attractive”
/r/askMRP10/05/18 06:42 AM
2

Now I can laugh at this, but a year ago I actually did exactly this...
/r/askMRP09/05/18 08:23 PM
1

It has nothing to do with the money, it’s the question of what comes into the house and not. Ok I installed my campus board without asking for permission and installed my painting corner so I guess that’s the same thing Yes and I want to get out of that comfy spot, that’s why I’m here
/r/askMRP09/05/18 05:45 PM
1

This is hilarious, will do
/r/askMRP09/05/18 05:43 PM
1

That’s a really good idea
/r/askMRP09/05/18 03:29 PM
1

Now I am off to google just what exactly a hanging chair and a raw edge table is. Edit: It looks like a sex swing! Yea, it looks good for oral sex!
/r/askMRP09/05/18 01:39 PM
2

Yea I have decided now that I actually like this thing, because I actually do...
/r/askMRP09/05/18 09:16 AM
4

I'm reacting more than you here. Seriously? $2000? Thanks for your comment.
/r/askMRP09/05/18 08:32 AM
2

She paid for it with her own money
/r/askMRP09/05/18 08:29 AM
1

What's holding you back from realizing this vision sooner rather than later? Only myself. And good points!
/r/MarriedRedPill09/05/18 07:20 AM
1

Thanks brother. I think, but I could be wrong, that right now, I’m doing Ok with the “be attractive” part, but need to improve the “dont be unattractive” part. So that’s what I’m focusing on, improving my weak areas (which are leading, frame, boundaries) rather than developing my stronger ones further.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/05/18 05:10 PM
1

That, and also in terms of behaviors theres a huge range. I'd say that pulling the blouse down is quite far down the "more difficult to get away with"-end of the scale, compared to a playful grab-spin-and-kiss, for example.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/05/18 03:44 PM
2

I concur. I did exactly that mistake in the beginning, talked way too much. It's not necesarrily about talking less, but it's about how and what is being said. Also remember that communication ≠ talking.
/r/askMRP08/05/18 02:45 PM
1

I own my own business as an artist Cool, what type of art do you do?
/r/MarriedRedPill08/05/18 02:38 PM
1

Diet consists mainly of fish and chicken, also pork and beef, to get protein and lots of fresh veggies. And eggs for breakfast. I might be a bit behind on sleep, I'm struggling with having time to sleep enough and to do the administration/planning around the family at the same time. Still have to find a better solution to this.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/05/18 02:32 PM
1

Don't know really, I think my T-levels might be low, haven't checked that.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/05/18 02:29 PM
1

Good point, I have fallen behind here lately.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/05/18 02:19 PM
2

This is a good comment. And you put the finger on something very important here: That I semi-consiously think that I need to be in or on my way into a "serious relation" to get sex. Even though this belief is exactly what got me into this mess to start with. Like: "sex is not so good but if I just show more commitment, it will be rewarded with more/better sex". And also I realize now that I still have the fear that if I would start to spend time around other women, orbiters, plates, or whatever,…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/05/18 02:18 PM
1

How long have you worked with RP?
/r/MarriedRedPill08/05/18 12:59 PM
2

It’s hard to admit but sometimes I feel like her orbiter or gay friend. That’s why she says “you look cute” vs. “you look hot”. The latter indicates attraction, the former is what she would say to one of her girlfriends. Feel you there bro, having the very same issues. In the beginning, when we were dating, I still remember something with the sex felt odd comparing to former relations. Back then I thought she was just a bit shy and sex would be awesome once we were close enough. Not that it was …
/r/MarriedRedPill08/05/18 12:07 PM
6

OYS #17 Info 43 yrs, Wife 37, Married since 2012, 2 kids 1 and 4 yrs + 2 older from previous LTR. About ≈6 months in, lifting 5x5SL/CrossFit 3 times/week, Paleo diet, 183lbs/83.3kg, 189 cm / 6ft 2 1/2inches Vision To start a rock climbing group for kids and youngsters with neuropsychiatric disorders (ADD, ADHD, Autism, Aspergers). I see a lot of potential for what climbing could do in terms of improved focus, social interaction, movement, and just plain old fun, for these kids. Reading Finally g…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/05/18 08:36 AM
1

Very enlightening comment, thanks!
/r/askMRP08/05/18 07:09 AM
1

No I work from our office, but right now I’m working part time and home on parental leave 2 days/week until the summer.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/04/18 04:25 AM
1

Thanks man. No worries, I like metaphors. Yes that is gold. My hopes for this marriage are really low now, but I’m learning for the future. I might haven’t allowed for the timeline. Right now I’m gonna act all nice and initiate when I feel like it. Finally I can actually have true outcome independence because I think we’re fucked anyway...
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/18 06:24 PM
1

This. There is a temporary refuge in retreat. But it won't foster strength in you. You need to face this dragon of a women you have so you can take the gold she is gaurding. Whatever the outcome, get that gold. I'm having a hard time with these metaphors. What is the gold she is guarding? I like that stuff but when the shit hits the fan, the fastest route for me has been the Wim Hof Method. I think it would benefit you. Thanks for the tip, I'll check it out. Also in terms of your journey are oth…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/04/18 11:27 AM
1

Sorry, I don't get you. Do you mean that I'm unsuccessfully trying to hide my weaknesses or that I should go away and hide (metaphorically or literary) when I feel weak?
/r/MarriedRedPill18/04/18 11:17 AM
0

She perceives me as weak, true. Guess it's because I am fucking weak sometimes. This has actually been a major question for me for a long time, even before RP: How do I do when I feel weak and don't want to be around people? And what if my wife is actually the stronger one, does that mean I have to ditch her? And I'm starting to think that the answer might be that I've choosen the wrong lifestyle, I can't lead a wife/family because I don't manage to be a strong leader 24/7. So instead I should l…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/04/18 09:54 AM
1

OYS #16 Info 43 yrs, Wife 37, Married since 2012, 2 kids 1 and 4 yrs + 2 older from previous LTR. About ≈6 months in, lifting 5x5SL/CrossFit 3 times/week, Paleo diet, 183lbs/83.3kg, 189 cm / 6ft 2 1/2inches Vision To start a rock climbing group for kids and youngsters with neuropsychiatric disorders (ADD, ADHD, Autism, Aspergers). I see a lot of potential for what climbing could do in terms of improved focus, social interaction, movement, and just plain old fun, for these kids. Training/Lifting …
/r/MarriedRedPill17/04/18 07:57 PM
3

Thanks for the tip on the Zen book, I'll definitely read it!
/r/MarriedRedPill11/04/18 11:25 AM
1

You have no idea what you want. Furthermore you don't know what to do when you get something. You killed it right there. Attraction level gone. Dude you were so right so it’s almost ridiculous! Met her again today and yes, case closed...
/r/MarriedRedPill10/04/18 04:30 PM
1

OYS #15 Info 43 yrs, Wife 37, Married since 2012, 2 kids 1 and 4 yrs + 2 older from previous LTR. About ≈6 months in, lifting 5x5SL/CrossFit 3 times/week, Paleo diet, 183lbs/83.3kg, 189 cm / 6ft 2 1/2inches Vision To start a rock climbing group for kids and youngsters with neuropsychiatric disorders (ADD, ADHD, Autism, Aspergers). I see a lot of potential for what climbing could do in terms of improved focus, social interaction, movement, and just plain old fun, for these kids. Training/Lifting …
/r/MarriedRedPill10/04/18 10:00 AM
3

I lift and meditate. Though not simultaneously.
/r/askTRP05/04/18 08:34 PM
1

Note that the book doesn’t actually use the word “frame” but that’s exactly what’s the whole book is about. Read it. Meditation also helps building frame. Actually frame is one of my weak spots too, I only recently understood its importance.
/r/askTRP31/03/18 04:54 PM
1

As far as my knowledge goes, it’s the best book on the concept of Frame written so far. No problem brother.
/r/askTRP31/03/18 04:28 PM
1

“When I say no I feel guilty”, or WISNIFG for short is a book. There’s a technique described there called fogging that would’ve been useful here. It’s an excellent book, suggest you read it.
/r/askTRP31/03/18 04:25 PM
1

WISNIFG, the concept of ”Fogging” is your friend here. But really, just aim to have fun, play with it.
/r/askTRP31/03/18 04:14 PM
0

Nope. DEER:ing and entering his frame.
/r/askTRP31/03/18 04:04 PM
1

Ok the good thing is at least I’m not paying, have free therapy sessions as a benefit from my employer. So what you think is that I am fooling myself and that I am in fact covertly expecting the moratorium to increase attraction, while telling myself (and you) that I’m not? That’s not the case. Given my post history and my flair I can understand it seem that way though....
/r/MarriedRedPill29/03/18 06:11 AM
1

If I don’t expect a moratorium will increase attraction or make my wife want to fuck me again but I’m doing it for me, what’s the covert contract? And yes, I will go fuck somebody else as soon as I get a chance. Do you think a neighbor is a bad option?
/r/MarriedRedPill29/03/18 05:46 AM
1

What problem do you see with taking a sex break? This is also suggested in NMMNG. I totally see that it’s not going to increase the attraction or make wife wanting to have sex again once the period is over. But for me it helps me internalize and accept the fact that at this point my wife doesnt want to have sex with me. And I can be fine with that for now while I work on myself meanwhile, until it’s eventually time for “the talk”. Also, after the divorce I need to be able to deal with periods of…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/03/18 05:39 AM
1

Yes. Had two sessions so far. He said like in his opinion I should have too much hope. And also that in a relation where one partner constantly has to put his needs behind (sex in this case) it usually ends in a confrontation at some point, which we’ve had the last two weeks. I’m working mostly now on being OK with the thought that we are probably divorcing within a year and that the sexual attraction probably won’t come back. Meanwhile I’ll work on myself, find my mission and spin some plates. …
/r/MarriedRedPill29/03/18 03:48 AM
3

Remember, you are not actually dealing with death, you are dealing with life. How do you deal with life usually? Do that even when it feels heavy.
/r/askTRP28/03/18 07:37 PM
2

Hmm yea that’s something I’m heavily considering at the moment too...
/r/MarriedRedPill28/03/18 06:52 PM
1

Oh, and what happened after your last reset? Did you actually had the talk or did she come around?
/r/MarriedRedPill28/03/18 06:43 PM
1

From my perspective, because IF she would come around, it would save me a HUGE effort and the kids wouldn’t have to grow up as divorce kids etc. So that would be a better outcome, and then I don’t have outcome independence anymore. So it’s a bit like the “prepare for the worst, hope for the best” kind of mindset. And also if I have the mindset that she might be more attracted if I do X, Y or Z, it’s much harder for me to break out of her frame.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/03/18 06:42 PM
1

When I say “only stable partner” I mean it. She doesn’t want to fuck me at all right now. Yes we are different now but the fact that I had sex in the past doesn’t mean I don’t want it regularly in my life now. So the problem isn’t that she had sex in the past, that’s totally OK for me, the problem is that we don’t have good sex together in the present.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/03/18 05:01 PM
1

Exactly, a boy inside a mans body. Not so attractive in other words, what saved me so far is that I'm fairly good looking and tall. This paradigm is golden. I will think of that.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/03/18 12:24 PM
1

Nice to hear that I'm not alone in this boat brother. I've been sooooo deep in my wifes frame ever since day one that it makes the Mariana Trench look like a puddle of water in the street, if you know what I mean. With her it was the first time that I actually made an effort to start a relation with someone, my previous LTR:s I always just had coming to me. The problem is, I wasn't picky enough, and my wife is no exception.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/03/18 12:13 PM
2

i really like this artist work. bold colors and very psychotic. Agree, psychotic but disciplined brother, when will you focus on the process and stop naval gazing over the end game? Thanks for this pointer! i abhor the words never and zero. all this reading; and you can't see that woman's sexuality is so fluid. I am struggling with outcome independence, that's why I need to think that what I do will not make a difference on my wife. Instead I will work on pursuing my goals. As soon as I start to…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/03/18 12:08 PM
1

You know, when I started out last fall, I thought that this was just a small problem that could be fixed by applying some rules and then everything would be perfect ever after. Now 6 months later I’m questioning everything that can be questioned and hardly know who I am anymore...
/r/MarriedRedPill28/03/18 10:48 AM
1

Seems I was too late...
/r/askMRP28/03/18 06:20 AM
4

OYS #14 Info 43 yrs, Wife 37, Married since 2012, 2 kids 1 and 4 yrs + 2 older from previous LTR. About ≈6 months in, lifting 5x5SL/CrossFit 3 times/week, Paleo diet, 180lbs/81.3kg, 189 cm / 6ft 2 1/2inches Training/Lifting DL 110kg/242lbs, Squat 75kg/165lbs 1RM Relation Not yet divorced Realization Woke up one morning at 4AM, suddenly perfectly awake, with one single thought in my head: It does not matter what I do, my wife will never see me as her primary choice of sex partner, only her stable…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/03/18 06:07 AM
2

Maybe he’s doing wrong, he should perhaps try 32 instead of 23.
/r/askTRP19/03/18 05:30 PM
2

Back off and see what happens. 2/3 rule, send 2/3 as many texts etc as she does, I e for every 3 interactions she initiates, you initiate 2.
/r/askTRP18/03/18 03:02 PM
3

I don’t understand, how can she remain flirty if you don’t hear from her at all? On topic it sounds like she’s not that interested.
/r/askTRP18/03/18 02:17 PM
2

And some bystanders that just stopped to see what was going on. After all it was London, these things happens all the time there.
/r/askMRP15/03/18 05:15 PM
4

True abundance mentality would have been to fuck all 10 right there in the street, cheered on by their boyfriends/husbands.
/r/askMRP15/03/18 05:00 PM
5

<Popping popcorn>
/r/askMRP15/03/18 04:30 PM
1

Yes. I will try even harder to totally break out of her frame. Right now I’m going a bit back and forth, or in and out. I get out of her frame, and get sucked back in. Then after a while I realize what just happened and try to get out again. Etc.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/18 01:09 PM
1

Nice job man! About the brewing, what type of beer did you brew, lager or IPA? Did you start from scratch? Tried this many years ago when I was 20, thnbjking about getting back into it again...
/r/MarriedRedPill14/03/18 11:24 PM
2

What do you mean, that using my current marriage for practice is just an excuse not to end it right now and a sign I'm not yet detached?
/r/MarriedRedPill14/03/18 03:56 PM
1

Because I've sucked really, really hard at setting borders. Until now. And I didn't even think it would be necesarry with the right partner. Yea I know how it sounds. I need to practice that A LOT i realize, and why not use this semi-failed marriage for practice. Otherwise I might anyway just repeat the same mistakes in a new relation. My therapy sessions will also be focused on how to set borders and boundaries in a good way. The only way I've been thaught to set borders is to explain to the ot…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/03/18 03:46 PM
1

Thanks for your support man, can't say how much I appreciate it. You know, thinking about what you wrote, and what /u/rian_stone wrote, I came to think of Winston Churchill's word after the battle of El Alamein: "This is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it may be the end of the beginning. " Maybe that's where I am. Emotionally detached. Still without frame. Ready to start working for real. The thing is, before I was playing with the thought of divorce. But it wasn't real…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/03/18 03:35 PM
1

Yea it sucks. Nothing I can do about it though. There are a number of cases: either I'm not her type sexually/not attractive enough even when at my best or she's not the monogamous type who can stay attracted to the same partner or her sex drive is much lover than mine and she feels pushed or because of how our relation started it is forever impossible for her to see me as anything else than her betabux and provider or I am not as far in the process as I thought. The last point is what would mak…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/03/18 01:05 PM
1

Yup, my brother did precisely that, bad form during heavy DL due to lack of focus, pain came instantly.
/r/askMRP14/03/18 10:27 AM
1

Hey. Many good points, and maybe I am rushing, I don't know. Maybe I will first work on developing leadership since that's were I am lacking, gets easier now that I am actually emotionally detached. My case is different from yours however, in that I have seen absolutely zero positive development in the sexual area so far. In other areas, yes a bit, but when I have started to be more open with my sexual needs, my wife has been pulling the other way and emphazising that we are co-parents, nothing …
/r/MarriedRedPill14/03/18 08:14 AM
1

Thanks man. Yes. I am really pissed off. I have had no boundaries whatsoever. I have been putting up with lots of shit from her. So have she, from me, while I still was drunk captain. I fucked up badly the other day. We got into some sort of fight. See my last OYS for details. Anyway when she to my face admitted that she thinks about fucking others something was released. My wife is a slut but she’s not mine, so why should I put up with any of her bullshit? Then I said in my marriage it’s either…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/03/18 04:28 PM
2

Sure some examples from last year. This is golden if you wanna point out if her behavior sucks or if it’s just me being a WAF motherfucker and getting Butt hurt for nothing. Most of this examples are from when we have small kids in the house, we still do btw, dunno how much can be contributed to me by being too pushy for sex when I should have just been oaking instead and biding my time... “Naaa, I don’t like kissing, come on now, I’m tired” (during foreplay) “What are you doing? Any other man w…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/03/18 03:38 PM
2

Can be tricky since we own 50% each. Where I live, if it goes to court, it's usually the parent with whom the kids stay most of the time that gets to keep a common house, so with high probability she will have the house if we don't sell it, that's just the reality. I couldn't care less about putting her on the street, but I don't want to put my kids on the street.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/03/18 01:57 PM
2

OYS #Something Lifting Yes, SL5x5 Mental/relationship Hardly sleeping anymore. Divorce impending, suspect wife has started to secure funds already. Taking countermeasures. We are both playing nice on the surface but for me there is only one way to go if I want to survive this. I cannot stay commited to a woman who time after time after time points out that I'm not man enough for her, but good enough to take care of kids and house for her. Looking in hindsight, I have no idea how I can have put u…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/03/18 01:14 PM
1

Someone should write a translation table between climbing grade and SMV...
/r/askTRP12/03/18 06:05 PM
3

Haha wanted to see how long it took ;)
/r/askTRP12/03/18 06:03 PM
8

One word: Rock climbing. Climber girls have the best butts.
/r/askTRP12/03/18 11:00 AM
1

Can’t blame him, I thought I was too for a while. Had to crash and burn real hard few times to realize the truth...
/r/askMRP08/03/18 07:12 PM
1

Yes, and? Everybody says “lift” the whole time, the sidebar says it, in MMSLP it says that it’s the most important thing of all, so what’s the point of this post? That you were not an exception?
/r/askMRP08/03/18 06:52 PM
1

Either ditch the beard completely or grow a full beard if you can. Otherwise looks OK, I assume you’ve started lifting already.
/r/askTRP08/03/18 06:47 PM
1

Thanks, very clearly stated. Like the analogy with the workplace. Divorce is an option at the very end of the line. I have prepared the papers for possible future use if it comes to that. The problem for me is that I'm so bad in using the tools that comes before to set borders to other people. It would be a bit like if Putin would have just nuked the whole Ukraine without warning instead of doing what he actually did, using just as much force as necessary but not more to get control over Crimea.…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/03/18 08:39 AM
1

Thanks. Right now I'm re-reading WISNIFG. I've realized that our relation is not an entirely healthy one, but has strong elements of co-dependency from both sides. Is there any way to stand up and don't tolerate her treatment that doesn't mean immediate divorce? Or, from your perspective, is this FUBAR and beyond rescue already?
/r/MarriedRedPill07/03/18 03:08 PM
1

Nope, and I'm fine with that for now. I'll work on myself, lift, and bide my time. If things aren't better in December, then it's time to make a move/end the marriage.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/03/18 12:39 AM
1

Touché. I just never learned (from my parents) what to do or how to act when treated in a way I don't like, except for hoping that it will stop. Also I don't feel like I have something to give to others, so removing myself when treated badly won't help since the other person won't mind having "less of me" anyway. I'm making up excuses for my wife's behavior all the time, like she is ill so that's why she behaves, she is like that in the night, she is probably tired etc etc. When the truth is, I …
/r/MarriedRedPill06/03/18 08:58 PM
1

Long as you leave it all up to her, nothing will change This is true. I want her to come to me, not chasing her into something. At the same time, as you say, if there is no incitament for her to change anything, why would she? Am I back on dread level 0 now again? We'll see...
/r/MarriedRedPill06/03/18 07:58 PM
1

So you don't need sex from her, just validation. That definitely used to be the case, absolutely. I'd like to think that this has changed now, but sometimes I relapse. Like when my frame gets weakened. Otherwise I don't have the same need for validation anymore. But I still want sex one way or the other. I don't need it, but I also don't need climbing, Crossfit, lifting. But at the same time, I wouldn't want to live without those things because they add so much value. Same with sex. And when som…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/03/18 07:44 PM
1

That question is spot on. One thing I noticed during these two weeks when there were all sorts of legit reasons why sex couldn't happen (namely, everyone had the flu and things got really intense at times) was that our relation got better and more relaxed, I didn't initiate and she didn't have to reject me so that whole dynamic went away. But still, it is not good for my ego to be with a woman who clearly have a longing for good sex and at the same time knowing I'm not able to provide her with i…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/03/18 06:32 PM
1

Now I lost the chicken race. I didn’t pack the bags and didn’t throw her out. Also didn’t put her against the wall and confronted her “did you mean what you said yes or no?”. I choose instead to try to frame it all as provocations. She’ll see through it and me too but I thought I give us both a chance to just back off from the whole thing. Told wife “You were pretty provocative this morning” “Yea so were you” “Yea sometimes it feels like you try to provoke me and don’t get a reaction so you just…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/03/18 06:02 PM
1

Yea I see exactly how fucked up it looks from this post. But the thing is things are going in the right direction, except the sex, and I have developed some abundance mentality, and I can pass most shit tests. But then... Comes something like this when I have my guard down.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/03/18 05:31 PM
1

What's the difference between playing game of chicken and stretching the 1000ft rope?
/r/MarriedRedPill06/03/18 03:40 PM
1

my suggestion is to quit LARPing and just accept that you're going to be a cuck. That’s just not going to happen, I’m rather alone.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/03/18 03:16 PM
1

Thanks, now I understand. Great, hope it’s not nuked just yet though.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/03/18 03:12 PM
1

Like, because he sees her and understands her emotions and I don’t? Yea makes sense if that’s what you mean. Do you mean that she wants a reaction from me and packing her bags would provide that?
/r/MarriedRedPill06/03/18 03:10 PM
1

Do you by any chance feel a bit like you are trying to explain colors to someone color blind? Thanks for you patience man, sorry I’m not getting it yet.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/03/18 03:05 PM
1

Ok sorry if I’m a bit slow here, this things doesn’t come naturally to me, but you mean that by actually packing her bags for her I’m taking back the initiative and showing here that she has a choice to make, for me it doesn’t matter? And most likely she will not take her bags and leave, and if she does she would have anyway?
/r/MarriedRedPill06/03/18 02:59 PM
0

Ok think of me as retarded then, I’m probably somewhere close to “normal” on the autism spectrum. But my question is sincere, there is some undertone here that I don’t understand. (And wife has her issues as well)
/r/MarriedRedPill06/03/18 02:50 PM
1

The first option, if it's open, it's open only for me. She can't fuck other men under any circumstances and still be my wife. Stupid thing to say I realize that now.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/03/18 02:39 PM
0

And if I do, and she comes home and says "Oh but I just said that to provoke you" or something similar? And, she has said this before but she is still here. What's my goal in doing what you describe, to actually throw her out or to call her bluff?
/r/MarriedRedPill06/03/18 02:33 PM
1

Once I met a marriage consellour to discuss how to make everything work with my new (current that is) wife, my ex, and the kids. After listening for 5 minutes, he replied "Have you ever considered to just be on your own and do your own things?". Did i take his advice? No. So you might have a point. All through our marriage my wife has, with some exceptions, pretended that she is prude, that she is too intelligent for something as primitive as sex, that she is the romantic type that needs to feel…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/03/18 02:29 PM
1

Yup that’s a really good point, thanks. Got some logistics texts from wife now so radio silence is broken, she’s texting like all is normal, no idea what it means it I’ll also just act as if it was some kind of shit test and keep doing what I’m doing.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/03/18 11:38 AM
1

Thanks man, really good advice. I’ll buy a recurve bow, a horse and an ugly little fur hat today already. It’s precisely like /u/BluePillProfessor said, i make some progress, pass a bunch of her shit tests, then comes a bigger one when I have my guard down for some reason (in this case lack of sleep and generally worn out after two weeks with sick family members) and I fail. This means my frame is not solid by itself under all circumstances, and only holds when I have the mental energy to active…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/03/18 10:35 AM
0

Last question first: the deal we have, since we both have qualified jobs that we like, is we do every other day, today is my turn, if the kids are still not fit for daycare tomorrow it’s her turn. That, and one of the kids is actually not hers, but mine from previous LTR. But I anyway suspect this equality thing just might be part of the problem here, I admit that. But we need two salaries. Am I still stuck in her frame you say? I’d love some advice on how I could handle this better cause I thou…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/03/18 09:37 AM
1

No, I don't think he made moves on her, I think she says that in an attempt to make me jelaous. Same with the sex tips. And the guy is not the usual Chad, he told me this morning he's been in a DB for many years until he recently divorced. But he's a very spiritual person, present in the now. He does climbs harder grades than me though...
/r/MarriedRedPill06/03/18 09:26 AM
-1

OYS #12 Info 43 yrs, Wife 37, Married since 2012, 2 kids 1 and 4 yrs + 2 older from previous LTR. About ≈5 months in, lifting 5x5SL/CrossFit 3 times/week, Paleo diet, 180lbs/81.3kg, 189 cm / 6ft 2 1/2inches Training/Lifting DL 110kg/242lbs, Squat 75kg/165lbs 1RM (New PB!). Reading Have been reading a lot of posts from https://thefamilyalpha.com/ lately. Good stuff. Also some really good posts here on MRP/RP that I highly recommend: https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/2vr5ih/how_to_b…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/03/18 08:45 AM
3

Rock climbing is great for meeting cool people doing what they love most, plus you get exercise, plus you get to be outside etc etc. Sign up for a course to learn the safety rules and get some contacts.
/r/askTRP05/03/18 05:18 PM
1

Ach so. But still, no, do your own homework. What’s next, “I’m too lazy to go to the club, can someone else do it for me and tell me what lessons about gaming they learned?” Now OP, get your thumb out of your ass and get to work.
/r/askTRP05/03/18 02:43 PM
1

Yes, you. You get to read all the books and at the same time an opportunity to give some value back to the community. Win-win.
/r/askTRP05/03/18 02:31 PM
1

ant. I’m not able to act with complete IDGAF yet, as I felt the fight or flight response during this episode – pulse, blood pressure rising, urge to yell back I know what you mean. Fake it til you make it is your friend here. First you’ll act calm but feel the “FoF” kicking in on the inside. With time you’ll feel it less and less. By acting calm you tell your own mind that there is no danger and over time the FoF response will get weaker and weaker.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/03/18 11:26 AM
1

Are you sick or a troll or a sick troll?
/r/askTRP02/03/18 09:14 AM
5

Yup. And the covert message to us is “but I could have and I still can so you better do as I say”. Power play.
/r/askTRP01/03/18 06:37 PM
30

Yea, it's like my wife asking me "How was your conference darling?" and I say "Good, and I didn't fuck our new marketing assistant" That fact that she says it reveals that she has either considered it or already done it.
/r/askTRP01/03/18 10:33 AM
26

She's not LTR-material. Demote to plate.
/r/askTRP01/03/18 09:51 AM
9

This is exactly the advice I'd needed 6 years ago. Listen to it, and act accordingly.
/r/askTRP28/02/18 08:45 PM
1

No, then I'll have it with someone else, meaning one of the following: Spinning plates/cheating Open up our relation one sided Divorce But who knows, come December maybe I have reached such awesomeness in other areas that I don't care that much for sex anymore and choose to stay with her anyway.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/02/18 03:07 PM
1

And this is my mindset: not to push her to have sex with me, but letting her pushing herself if she so wants. I can just be as awesome as possible and OMS and captaining to my best ability, at the same time be clear with that sex is important to me (not necessarily sex with her though), and leave the rest up to her. So there is pressure involved, but it's not coming from me. It used to be coming from me, but not anymore.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/02/18 08:10 AM
1

Ok, Straight answer then: I don't actually expect her to meet all my needs. I can handle the kids, I can handle the household, I have friends and social hobbies (climbing, kayaking, Crossfit), so if she handles my sexual and intimate needs and do her share of the household I'm fine with that. Before I used to put too much on her by asking for help with my own shit (venting mostly) with her as i thought we were "soulmates" or something, but luckily I've stopped with that completely.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/02/18 07:50 AM
1

One sided open relationship would work for me. Problem is, then why wouldn't she then also want it open on her side, and that's just a no go for me. Spinning plates is also an option I'm seriously considering, but I have more work to do before that.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/02/18 07:25 AM
1

Yes. And now I guess it's becoming even more difficult for her. It's not anymore a commodity, now it's more "give it if you want otherwise don't, and if not, in the long run, it's over." This is exactly in line with a conversation we had earlier tonight. I probably fucked up again. Anyway, wife is sick (flu) and in bed, asks me to come and talk to her. She wants comfort, and asks me to talk either about romantic memories or about our future. So I talk about the best sex sessions we've had. Not i…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/02/18 10:24 PM
1

Yea, she is fun to talk to, smart and witty. And we have fun bantering back and forth. And that of course makes it harder to decide to leave. She wasn't concerned that she had hurt my feelings but that I was angry at her. "Pl don't be angry with me" was also in the text, forgot that part. Don't know if that changes your interpretation, guess not.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/02/18 04:14 PM
3

Sorry about your loss man, well handled. You do you and you seem to be aware, but 12 weeks is a very short time in the longer perspective. Of course you are eager to start your new awesome life as soon as possible, but dude, don't let your emotions of anger and resentment take over and make you do something you are not ready for. What have you got to loose by giving it say another 6 months, during which you anyway DGAF and do fun stuff for you and the kids?
/r/MarriedRedPill27/02/18 03:23 PM
14

Sidebar, dude, sidebar. It's all there.
/r/askTRP27/02/18 02:10 PM
1

I see it as her spidey senses are going off and she is trying to quantify her value in the relationship because she is seeing that you need her less and less each month. Granted our situations are very different, but my wife says things like the hooker comment all the time. The translation is simple, no hamster needed: "I don't get wet for you." It sucks, but you know it is true. You also know what to do. Yea I guess this is kind of frustrating for her. She wants the value I provide to our relat…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/02/18 01:33 PM
1

"Just friends you say? Why don't you come over and we can have a cup of tea and talk about it while I do you from behind?"
/r/askTRP27/02/18 10:00 AM
1

Don't even bother, just soft next her
/r/askTRP27/02/18 09:38 AM
6

OYS #11 Info 43 yrs, Wife 37, Married since 2012, 2 kids 1 and 4 yrs + 2 older from previous LTR. About ≈5 months in, lifting 5x5SL/CrossFit 3 times/week, Paleo diet, 180lbs/81.3kg, 189 cm / 6ft 2 1/2inches Training/Lifting DL 110kg/242lbs, Squat 75kg/165lbs 1RM (New PB!). Reading "13 things mentally strong people don't do". Frame/mentality/STFU:ing Still working on frame and passing shit tests. My dread level is up and I'm acting with more confidence in general. Wife has been making jokes about…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/02/18 08:45 AM
2

Small scar, barely visible. Heals completely in a week, could easily have done the whole procedure covertly if I'd wanted to.
/r/askMRP26/02/18 10:42 PM
1

No kids and only 28? Easy, divorce her ass faster than she can say "hypergamy".
/r/askMRP26/02/18 08:10 PM
1

Nobody suggested or encouraged that, you are right. But I felt the need to do that for several reasons. One was simply that I could. I made quite some realizations from this interaction. One is that I must not seek validation from interactions with women, which I tend to do. Another reason was that I wanted to improve my abundance mentality by showing to myself that this was possible. Not a troll.
/r/askMRP25/02/18 07:51 PM
67

"god you're making me sweaty" Owning the situation like a baws. Good job.
/r/askTRP25/02/18 06:18 PM
0

Nah, I don't seriously think my wife will want to fuck me like I want. Other options necessary instead. If anything, I think I still have oneitis for my 1st LTR from 20 yrs ago... Love and respect.
/r/askMRP22/02/18 11:35 PM
0

With sugar on top
/r/askMRP22/02/18 09:42 PM
1

Now you hurt my feelz real bad...
/r/askMRP22/02/18 08:31 PM
1

Beautifully put brother. One shouldn't be afraid to cry, as long as nobody sees it. At least not your woman. Also just knowing that difficult emotions will pass, they aren't eternal, just chill and they usually goes away in a matter of minutes, hours or days.
/r/askMRP22/02/18 12:46 PM
1

So, after all that effort internalizing, what's your take? My take is that the type of leadership I strive for means being one step ahead and doing what needs to be done, and ask others for help when necessary, rather than just commanding others around. It also means to have a clear vision for myself and the family and work towards that vision, and wife can choose to come along and contribute because she also finds the vision awesome, or she can choose something completely different. I remember …
/r/MarriedRedPill22/02/18 07:42 AM
3

Good post, put words on exactly what I'm struggling with now. I have a very clear picture of how I want things to be, and since it's so clear to me it seems like it should be easily attainable, but that's just an illusion, since it depends on other people, i.e. my current wife. It may or may not happen in the future, and like you say, how do one know when it's time to make a final decision?
/r/MarriedRedPill21/02/18 01:51 PM
11

Not LTR material, this 5 guy gangbang thing will eat you from inside over time. And since she has a child you are likely just a provider. Be thankful that she told you and next her.
/r/askTRP21/02/18 07:33 AM
1

Yes. I have a strategy here, and it's to try to escalate to sex when she comes over to cuddle. Not every time, but most of the time. Either she will be up for it, or she will turn me down, in which case I will tease her playfully for being a teaser who turns me on but don't deliver and just turn around and sleep. She'll get the message eventually. At some point later I might tell her explicitly that only closeness without sex is not an option in my marriage, she can either have both, as much as …
/r/MarriedRedPill20/02/18 02:35 PM
4

OYS #10 Info 43 yrs, Wife 37, Married since 2012, 2 kids 1 and 4 yrs + 2 older from previous LTR. About 3-4 months in, lifting/CrossFit 3 times/week, Paleo diet, 180lbs/81.3kg, 189 cm / 6ft 2 1/2inches Training/Lifting DL 110kg/242lbs, Squat 65kg/143lbs 3x5. Dread level made a small jump related to this yesterday. Our crossfit box has an Instagram accounts where they regurarly post pictures from workouts. A few days ago, there was a picture of me training shirtless with the caption "Our ice_walk…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/02/18 12:47 PM
1

How far away is the nearest other town or city? Do you have a car? If not, what would you need in order to get one?
/r/askTRP20/02/18 06:36 AM
11

Shit man. You've made a woman angry! Now you gotta act real fast to fix this mess! Order a dozen red roses, write a cringey card with an apology and tell her how much she means to you, women loves that, draw her a bath and offer a foot massage. And take her dog for a walk. That might fix her feelings, otherwise you're fucked.
/r/askMRP19/02/18 09:22 AM
1

wasn't What happened to the guy?
/r/askMRP18/02/18 05:32 PM
1

I think its a certain type of men (including yours truly) who gets themselfs into a certain kind of relationships with women and develop oneitis more easily, and this type of men are heavily overrepresented here in these subreddits. A "natural alpha" does indeed grasp these concepts internally and has no need for the red pill and never has the need to visit /r/askMRP . My two cents.
/r/askMRP18/02/18 01:17 PM
1

Yea. The thing is, last Saturday it became clear to her that I am actually willing to burn it all down. No need to go into details, but I was hoping things was going to change after this. They didn't. Or at least not yet. So probably she's also just staying because of the kids, or because it's convenient, or because she thinks I'm OK and a solid provider but doesn't get the tingles. And in the long run, I don't think I can be with a woman who doesn't have the best sex of her life with me. Meanin…
/r/askMRP17/02/18 04:38 AM
1

Yes that is true. I'm still hoping she'll eventually open up sexually. Because then I'd suddenly have everything, a nice house, a stable family for the kids, a fun smart wife, and my own slut. Now I have all but the last, it's like a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle almost complete but with one piece missing. And it's hard then to just say "screw this" and tip the whole jigsaw over and start on a new one, instead you search the whole house trying to find that missing piece. That's where I'm at, I'm sear…
/r/askMRP16/02/18 09:47 PM
1

I can also confirm. Hasn't changed me. We're not fucking as often or intensely as I'd like but it was the same before the snip so it's not from that.
/r/askMRP16/02/18 09:16 PM
2

Yea she has a solid frame for sure. How about I just say to her "Darling, I'd like you to take it up your butt for me, but in order for you to let me do that, the guys over at Reddit says I need to work on my frame. Since you've got such a solid frame, any tips for me?" Can that work?
/r/askMRP16/02/18 09:08 PM
2

And what would happen if I'd at this point reframe the setup into "Hey, I arranged a babysitter so you can come along for AwesomeWinterActivity. Bring pastries." Would that be seen as folding under pressure or as good leadership? Reason I'm asking is that I recently got the advice from /u/BluePillProfessor that I need to work on leadership more than dread at this point. So that's my area of focus now.
/r/askMRP16/02/18 08:59 PM
1

I'm the kind of man who enjoys the company of my wife but also likes to do things without my wife sometimes. This was such an occasion.
/r/askMRP16/02/18 06:27 PM
1

Solid example. This is where I'm headed. Thanks.
/r/askMRP16/02/18 05:40 PM
1

You're right. I'll make myself a hot dog over the fire and watch it burn if it comes to that.
/r/askMRP16/02/18 03:50 PM
1

The problem is that if she chooses to leave now, it's way earlier than planned. Wasn't going to make the FMOFY-thing until the end of the year or so. And since everything else except the sex part seem to be going in the right direction, it would be annoying if she blows everything up over this and I always have to wonder if it was because I fucked up or if it was inevitable. And she says she doesn't really get upset over the fact that I'm going, but the way I communicate where I inform her that …
/r/askMRP16/02/18 03:20 PM
1

I did check the logistics beforehand. As a captain ought too. Don't want to put my first officer or crew in trouble just because I feel like AwsomeWinterActivity. The problem for her I guess is that she feels she can't control my availability to her.
/r/askMRP16/02/18 03:01 PM
1

She has to be home with the kids so she can't come in this case.
/r/askMRP16/02/18 02:34 PM
1

Now I did exactly that, I said "next Sunday I'll be away most of the day doing AwesomeWinterActivity" (unrelated to this post). She went off. Got a couple off emails, one saying "sorry but this doesn't work". Don't know if this means she wants to end it all or if she's just trying to scare me back into the hem. Shit. This was way too early.
/r/askMRP16/02/18 02:16 PM
1

Does this also means that when she asks me before doing, it's a good sign at least?
/r/askMRP16/02/18 10:16 AM
1

Im going to voice my different opinion on this. I got exactly the same from my wife the other night, far from the first time. Don't want to hijack the thread by going into details, they'll come in next OYS, but the situation was pretty obviously going in the direction towards sex, we were sitting on the sofa, kids asleep, I escalate with soem push-pull, then wife suddenly gets up and starts hanging the laundry, and tells me to help her so it goes faster. The message I got from this was something…
/r/askMRP16/02/18 08:35 AM
2

Fuck yea bro, way to go! Stay on track...
/r/askMRP16/02/18 07:52 AM
1

That is actually not too bad an answer...
/r/askTRP13/02/18 03:31 PM
5

You really don't get it do you? Jeeez dude, I start to think you actually are creepy and I'm not going to help you hide that fact...
/r/askTRP13/02/18 12:15 PM
4

No, you don't use those words but that's exactly how it's interpreted.
/r/askTRP11/02/18 06:06 PM
15

Well explaining it that way for sure makes you come off as creepy as fuck since it sounds like you've actually thought through what would be the biggest obstacles if you wanted to rape someone in your place, and also like the only thing that keeps you from raping people that visit your apartment is that your neighbors would notice. Wtf dude? TLDR: trying to make girl feel comfortable by saying "I'm not going to rape you, the neighbours would notice" doesn't usually work very well.
/r/askTRP11/02/18 05:21 PM
11

Ok, then i'd say "Man the fuck up, find out what you need to thrive, get your shit together and start working on yourself, you'll be done in 60 years from now"
/r/askTRP08/02/18 04:44 PM
27

It's all in the side bar dude.
/r/askTRP08/02/18 04:29 PM
2

Turn it around to get the correct interpretation: "It's not that I just got out of a bad relationship and want to be single, it's for a lack of feelings for you". Then move on.
/r/askTRP08/02/18 04:12 PM
1

Thanks, I'll search for that
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/18 01:20 PM
15

feminism is a massive shit test I think I will frame this quote and hang it on my wall
/r/askTRP08/02/18 12:44 PM
2

Thanks bro, a real eye opener!
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/18 12:09 PM
1

owning your desires without negotiating hers. This one sentence, without reading your original post, cleared up a lot of things for me. This is the course of action I will take now: I will not yet start to condition my availability to her, instead I will do my own things and see to her needs when there is time to do so and when I too find value in it, this usually means talk to her and see her. She is intelligent and witty so it's usually fun to listen to her. At the same time I will be very cle…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/18 09:49 AM
1

Thanks for your answer. That's also one of my favorite movies. I really appreciate your input on where I am and what's a good way forward. What I take from it is that i need to keep working mainly on leadership and passing Shit Tests at the moment, apart from lifting. /u/Persaeus /u/BluePillProfessor It looks to me like each time you pull away she moves towards you but THEN you fail the most basic Shit Test Yes, I have often this feeling too, that i make some progess, but then fall back a bit. W…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/18 08:38 AM
1

I don't know if it's good or bad or a sign of anything at all, but the pattern now is that she alternates between shit testing like crazy and apologizing for being so grumpy. Interesting to watch is it in either case.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/02/18 05:04 PM
2

Checking out emotionally from my wife is not hard. What is shit fucking hard and painful is the kill the dream about a happy family once again. I grew up in a divorce family myself and i don't want that for my kids. This is what hurts. Do I even have the right to destroy their childhood just because of my own needs? I don't know.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/02/18 06:18 AM
4

We took one of these Christian marriage courses before we got married. I was really surprised when they explained something like "sex is not just the icing on the cake, but the very glue that holds the whole cake together" This is a view I agree with a 100%, without sex you are just roomies, co-parents or good friends.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/02/18 05:03 AM
1

About 15-17% I think. Tall and slim, but not skinny, is the impression I give. Think Barack Obama for example. I dont think I'm skinny-fat, but need some more muscle mass for sure.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/02/18 04:58 AM
3

Many programmers are a bit socially awkward, not too seldom on the autism spectrum, and very seldom do they have influence on other people. They have low status because they are mainly doing what they are told by others to do. What gives them a little bit of status is that people know that they are very hard to replace and that they are specialists that knows their shit (the good ones at least).
/r/askTRP06/02/18 08:53 PM
1

Well now in the evening all of that was suddenly gone again when she realized I didn't suddenly go back to my old beta self just because she made me coffe and sent me an email ending with "I love you". Which is nice, but if she can't show it by actions, why bother writing it in an email? Instead she threatens to "find an intelligent man who respects her". Which is womanese for a beta whom she can control I suppose. Well, good luck then.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/02/18 06:20 PM
2

Brother. Thanks for your reply. I'll follow your advice there on the 5x5 and proceed with the original program and listen to signals from my body. I think I'm currently around lvl 2, sometimes slipping back to level 1. Haven't yet formulated a clear Action Plan or taken up a Cause, I'm just about to break out of the "I just want more sex with my wife"-mindset. It feels like I'm now starting to get somewhere mentally. My wife is actually acting nicer now most of the time, and try to do things for…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/02/18 12:27 PM
1

You are totally right about not jumping into a new relationship straight away. I did, and it was a mistake in many ways, Learn to function perfectly on your own and enjoy your own company first, then you can start thinking about a new relation, if that's what you really want.
/r/askTRP06/02/18 10:05 AM
3

I don't get it. I'm taking my wife bowling this week, but what hat should I wear in order to eat laid afterwards?
/r/MarriedRedPill06/02/18 09:24 AM
14

OYS #9 This weeks OYS contains traces off victim puke, so please proceed with caution and please feel free to kick me hard in the balls and/or ass after reading Info 43 yrs, Wife 37, Married since 2012, 2 kids 1 and 4 yrs + 2 older from previous LTR. About 3-4 months in, lifting/CrossFit 3 times/week, Paleo diet, 180lbs/81.3kg, 189 cm / 6ft 2 1/2inches (Note: Last OYS weight number was estimated, I'm actually much leaner than I thought) Training/Lifting DL 110kg/242lbs, Squat 65kg/143lbs 3x5. Go…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/02/18 09:14 AM
1

With a bit of afterthought it should be very possible to combine CF with a lifting program, that's what I'm going to do I think.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/02/18 09:14 AM
1

Yea exactly, her view too. I have set up a meeting to talk about how we solve the finances. She was shit testing me a lot about it the other day, managed to hold frame though and not er dragged into a discussion. So tonight we're going to sit down and talk about the setup and general goals, then probably set up another meeting with the bank to set up the account. Thanks. Yea it's a hidden gem for sure.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/02/18 09:12 AM
6

The rest of the day she minimizes communication. I tell her that she went over the line for what's acceptable and then I just STFU. Half a year ago i would have insisted to talk it through and explain how she hurt my feelings and what not. Now I just told her "don't do that again" and then STFU, but normal communication around kids etc. The next morning she comes and apologizes for not being a good wife recently, and how she behaved in the bank.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/01/18 08:19 PM
10

OYS #8 Info 43 yrs, Wife 37, Married since 2012, 2 kids 1 and 4 yrs + 2 older from previous LTR. About 3-4 months in, lifting/CrossFit 3 times/week, Paleo diet, 190lbs/87kg, 189 cm / 6ft 2 1/2inches Training/Lifting New PB: DL 110kg/242lbs, Squat 65kg/143lbs 3x5. Will find out 1RM in Squat and BP soon.... Reading Right now reading the Rational Male. I am affected by reading it, I get pissed and sad. Because it is so in line with my experiences. Because I've commited to my wife and she is not giv…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/01/18 03:26 PM
4

DL 55 BP 80 OHP 45 SQ 65 Kilograms, right? Whats up with the DL, did you miss a digit or do you have some lower back issues? I had started smoking again back at the end of August. I have not quit yet but have been having less desire. Not finishing cigarettes or just skipping when I would normally smoke. Quit. Now. What are you waiting for?
/r/MarriedRedPill30/01/18 11:16 AM
1

Dude, how I wish I had known this truth like 15 years ago, would have saved me soooooo much trouble...
/r/MarriedRedPill30/01/18 11:12 AM
1

Maybe, maybe not. Time will tell. My plan remains the same since it's not about her.
/r/askMRP28/01/18 05:28 PM
1

No I'm going skiing. Get your point though!
/r/askMRP27/01/18 04:32 AM
1

Problem is, all this shit works fine, until I actually see my wife and start thinking about What she did in the past with other dudes What she does with me (nothing basically) Then I just hate the bitch and I don't know how to get past that even though I have a past myself... Then I'm like "tell me I should ditch her cause all I really want to do is tell her how much I resent her for not wanting to do with me what I want" I remember when I was 20, I'd tell my gd at the time "I want oral sex now,…
/r/askMRP26/01/18 11:00 PM
-1

Na come on, you don't get a runners body from crossfit. I did long distance running for many years, 20km, 30km etc, I got skinny as fuck, but with Crossfit you do burn fat, yes, but you also train strength a lot
/r/askMRP26/01/18 10:54 PM
1

No 4am that's the thing Yea what a better way to start the day could there be...
/r/askMRP26/01/18 09:47 PM
1

Ahhh no this was a misunderstanding. At 4am i went up as quietly as I could and went downstairs to eat something. But she woke up anyway. And some hours later when we actually did wait up she was still pissed from her perceivied wake up. I might be autistic but I did NOT wake her up at 4 to cuddle with her butt...
/r/askMRP26/01/18 09:31 PM
5

Hahaha that's Exactly what I'm focusing on 24/7, to be attractive and not to be unattractive. Which is in itself unattractive I guess...
/r/askMRP26/01/18 09:17 PM
1

Thanks dude. I'll read it as soon as I'm sober.
/r/askMRP26/01/18 06:24 PM
1

I had this thought now, that going Rambo like I did is nothing but the male version of a girl, who feels the attraction from her mate waning, starting to behave like a slut to get him back. Because you are right, I am doing this to get her attracted to me, and not for me.
/r/askMRP26/01/18 05:10 PM
0

Good advice. Now she says she has a need to talk about borders and respect. Borders I get, I fucked up and I admit that, but a talk about respect will quickly get out of hand I feel.
/r/askMRP26/01/18 03:49 PM
-1

I do Crossfit so it's the usual basic exercises, squats, DL:s, kettle bells etc. And burpees.
/r/askMRP26/01/18 03:07 PM
1

You have a good point. I'm fooling myself that there aren't any covert contracts but there still is...
/r/askMRP26/01/18 03:01 PM
2

Then I'd be the hardest working troll ever who reads the whole sidebar, lifts, dresses up, etc just to make believable troll posts. tLDR: No.
/r/askMRP26/01/18 02:37 PM
1

No, I didn't apologize for looking at her sexually, she complained about it in a text but I was STFU about it. Never would I apologize for something like that. Or for just touching her. But to keep pushing after a hard no, that's a fuck up in my book. The rest I think you have a point. I'm looking for my mission, but haven't found it yet. Problem is I'm thinking "this could be my mission, but will it make me more attractive?"
/r/askMRP26/01/18 02:34 PM
1

Bulls eye. I was not calibrated enough and pushed to hard. "Cornered" is actually a word she used as well to describe it. Lesson learned. I will be surprised though if she will not try to use this incident as a lever to try to break my frame of being sexual with her.
/r/askMRP26/01/18 02:25 PM
1

I'm actually working on a frame now where I only need her sexually, hence her "piece of meat"-statement. The thing is, that's probably the closest to the truth, sex is what I'm missing in this marriage, the rest is there. And that makes it harder to actually get sex I guess cause it makes me more prone to stay anyway and she feels that my IDGAF is not entirely genuine... But maybe I should rethink that and just not need her at all. The thing is she is so fucking stubborn and determined to be ind…
/r/askMRP26/01/18 02:18 PM
1

Yea I totally get that. What I'm struggling with now is that I do some stuff that's attractive, but I also apparently do stuff that's not attractive, I just can't put my finger on what it is. Maybe it's just that i am a weak faggot without frame, i don't know.
/r/askMRP26/01/18 01:26 PM
1

my god you are a weak fucking faggot. Not an insult Haha just got a picture in my head of myself walking up to the biggest dude I the gym and drop that line
/r/askMRP26/01/18 01:12 PM
2

Ok ok, here is my question now that I've been hamstering the last week or so: what comes first? If I start to touch her butt now, where I'm at today, I'll just be a beta provider that touches her butt = creep, right? If she saw me as high SMV, she'd just laugh and playfully pretend to take my hand away or something like that, right? So FIRST I have to raise my SMV, then I can start touching her butt more, right? OR can I do both, because touching her butt without asking COMMUNICATES high SMV in …
/r/askMRP26/01/18 01:10 PM
1

Thanks for your support man. I'll just let this be for now, STFU if she brings it up, withdraw a bit for a few days, and otherwise stick to the plan. Are you sure, has that been verified by Mythbusters? Cause I heard it happened to a friends friend...
/r/askMRP26/01/18 12:55 PM
1

Wasn't as much talking from my side as it seems here, i just said i got a bit too eager, nothing more, no DEER:ing, just STFU after that.
/r/askMRP26/01/18 12:39 PM
1

No, I don't wake people up at 4 unless the house is on fire and I can't put it out myself. She meant that I had been to loud when I went downstairs at 4 to get something to eat. The "cuddling" was several hours later.
/r/askMRP26/01/18 12:34 PM
1

Thanks dude, clear and solid advice. I don't know why but I have this periods (usually 2-3 days) when I feel WAF and get impaired judgement due to emotions and shit. When wife is around I project it on her for some reason, when she's not around I just lock myself up for a few days and wait til it goes away.
/r/askMRP26/01/18 12:03 PM
2

Ok. What should I do instead? Should I stop initiating al together while I work on improving myself? Or just keep on doing what I'm doing and STFu and hope changes will come, knowing that they might not?
/r/askMRP26/01/18 11:34 AM
1

What am I doing that's unattractive? Any pointers? This might be my biggest problem, I can be attractive but I do too much unattractive shit without understanding what. I'm doing crossfit 3 times/week since 6 months, I've read NMMNG, WISNIFG and MMSLP and now I'm reading Rational Male. I understand it's unattractive to behave like I did in the morning and don't listen to a hard no, totally get that. I think what I'm asking here is how, if at all, should I respond to the situation G hand? I guess…
/r/askMRP26/01/18 11:32 AM
1

I wish I was fat but I'm 6 feet 2 1/2 and 187 lbs and BF around 15-17%.... and I lift. But you are right she doesn't find me high SMV or attractive, that's very clear or she wouldn't react negatively if I looked at her like "meat"
/r/askMRP26/01/18 10:52 AM
1

That sounds better. I also sincerely believe that you will perform more with 9hrs work + 1hr exercise, than with 11hrs work. Holds true for me and I think for many others as well.
/r/askMRP25/01/18 03:52 PM
6

I don't understand... What career/job demands drinking, smoking, and not exercising/lifting? Sounds like a lame excuse for lack of discipline to me.
/r/askMRP25/01/18 03:28 PM
6

Call her mom and ask
/r/askTRP24/01/18 09:58 AM
1

I work with charity, i give free fucks to girls who haven't gotten laid today
/r/askTRP24/01/18 09:57 AM
9

"What women call thinking, men call feeling. What women call feeling, men call being in a semi-psychotic state." Dont remember where I read it but has some truth...
/r/askMRP23/01/18 06:06 PM
1

Yes that's what i'm working on.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/01/18 05:09 PM
1

Yea exactly, like "How are you?" , "Oh, im so tired bla bla"
/r/MarriedRedPill23/01/18 04:25 PM
1

You know already what you want to do, why do you need a book? Just do it and don't think about it. After a while it's a routine and you do it automatically. "Do or do not, there is no try".
/r/askTRP23/01/18 03:13 PM
3

I help out where I can This might be part of the problem, but it sounds like you realized it already. You try to help your wife doing the nearly impossible, getting everyone ready in 30 mins. Make a plan that works, follow it and hopefully your wife will start helping YOU instead.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/01/18 10:58 AM
1

Indulge. Make sure you keep leading and planning also around the kids instead of just doing what your wife tells you. Got some good answers the other day in this thread about leading and being proactive instead of reactive around kids : https://www.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/7rpw7s/under_cover_shittests/
/r/askMRP23/01/18 10:02 AM
2

OYS #7 Info 43 yrs, Wife 37, Married since 2012, 2 kids 1 and 4 yrs + 2 older from previous LTR. About 3-4 months in, lifting/CrossFit 3 times/week, Paleo diet History Left my previous dysfuntional LTR in 2011 and started over with my new wife. We had it very good in the beginning, same hobbies and view of life. However it was usually her leading the relationship and me following, which worked out OK until we had our first child.Then I became the drunk captain, caught in the mindset that since s…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/01/18 08:35 AM
1

This is probably the answer I was after. A lot of pieces fall in place when I read your answer because: I've always been more of a "doer" than a "planner" My wife is, even for women standards, very sensitive and gets easily overwhelmed, and likes to be "in control" or at least know what's going to happen my wife has several time pointed out to me that I don't communicate my plans to her my boss has pointed out that I don't always communicate to the team what I'm working on (and he's got a point)…
/r/askMRP20/01/18 07:38 PM
0

Yes. You put the finger on it. I kind of thought I could delegate everything around the kids to her, but I guess that would I only work if I also didn't do the practical stuff.
/r/askMRP20/01/18 02:30 PM
1

Yea I do own my shit around the kids, and as I said I can easily take care of them alone and they are dressed, clean, well fed and generally happy. So usually it's not things that has to be done by me in particular, more like "I'm eating, can you change his diaper?" or so. Like stating "My time is too valuable to do this, can you do it instead?"
/r/askMRP20/01/18 01:56 PM
1

What helped me was to OMS and take responsibility by changing mindset from "why did she marry me if she's not that attracted to me" into "why did I choose to marry her when she mostly wanted a provider". The answer was, because I didn't know better at the time. Then I realized that all this shit is in the past and its really the present that matters. There's o lay one way to go and that's forward.
/r/askMRP19/01/18 09:45 AM
1

Sounds good, im in the same situation.
/r/askMRP18/01/18 05:20 PM
1

OP - what value are you bringing? And don't say taking care of your family and kids. That's good, but that's just a more masculine version of being a provider and it alone isn't going to make her lust you. Good question there. I had long thought that being a provider would cause lust because she would subcounsiously feel dependent on me which would cause hormones and shit and bla bla bla. Learned now from reading that this is usually not the case. What values do I bring? I honestly don't know ex…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/01/18 12:33 PM
1

Feel you there bro, while we were dating my wife said to me "It's so nice with you, you just take me as I am". I was too stupid back then to realize that was she actually was saying was "It's so good to be with you because you do everything and I don't even have to fuck you" Btw, good to hear that it can turn around aslo after so long time, I need to hear that.
/r/askMRP12/01/18 06:41 AM
1

It was kind of believable until the episode with the blowjob next to the kid in the incubator
/r/askMRP12/01/18 06:00 AM
1

Cmon, if you want to be a troll you'll have to do better than that.
/r/askMRP11/01/18 08:01 PM
2

Happy that you're happy. Anyway turns out she didn't actually call them. Sometimes I should learn to listen to what she says imagining it's a teenager saying it..
/r/MarriedRedPill10/01/18 08:09 PM
2

OYS #7 Stats 6'2 1/2 or 189 cm, 190lbs/ 86kg, 43 yrs, married since 2011, 2 kids + 2 from earlier marriage Training/health Going pretty well. Have been doing more of 5x5SL than Crossfit classes lately due to holidays etc, now I'm getting back into routines again. Have the feeling that if I would go full on 5x5 and max out every time I would risk injuries in knees and joints so I need to go a bit slower there and either fewer reps or not max out on weights every time. Finances No improvement. We …
/r/MarriedRedPill10/01/18 03:09 PM
3

Yea of course, since there is so much to think about: oral, doggy style, 69, in the shower, in the kitchen (just fill up)
/r/askMRP06/01/18 08:50 PM
1

Thanks for input! Shouldn't be very hard. But still working on this after years and years of "wow my wife is offering me her attention, got to say yes so I don't hurt her feelings"-mentality that makes it hard to say "no". Reading WISNIFG sure helped but still got work to do. As you can see she was high upon her pediestal until just recently...
/r/MarriedRedPill05/01/18 11:43 AM
1

Excellent, thanks
/r/MarriedRedPill04/01/18 06:18 PM
1

Yea I would have thought so too but she wants to take turns, one date she sets up, next one I arrange etc. So every second date she would arrange. Don't know if that will cause a problem in other areas if I let her lead here or if it will have a positive effect because she invests in the marriage. She declared "we take turns, I start and I want to go to restaurant Betabux! Suggestions on this one to still lead her and not the other way around?
/r/MarriedRedPill04/01/18 05:14 PM
2

OYS #6 Training/Health Going well, deadlifted 105kg/231lbs, last week, new PB. Got some strange intense pain in the groin, well, dick, immideately after the lift, read up on it a bit and it might be a hernia. Got to check that out. Realized also that I'm always finishing last or almost last in the box when it comes to burpees, so I'm going to do a bunch of these suckers every day, started out with 40 today. Relation/sex Well, something is happening for sure. Has not been any sex lately but with …
/r/MarriedRedPill03/01/18 08:27 PM
6

OP this is the answer. Print it out, frame it, and read it every day.
/r/askMRP01/01/18 12:38 PM
8

Think about if you had one week to live, what activity would you try? Skydiving? Sailing? Painting in oil? Then try that activity.
/r/askTRP27/12/17 10:19 PM
1

Yea this is true. Realizing now that I will fuck up here and there along the way but it's not the end of the world. And like you say, to internalize something means I must do it, not just reading about it or taking advice from others.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/12/17 10:15 PM
2

Yes. The ban I got from the mods was a good thing. I also got a very valuable advice: "Stop thinking you are above the process". Realized I gave every little positive sign, perceived or real, way too much dignity and thought I was further in the process than I actually am. Also realized there are no shortcuts, and I don't have to get input on every single interaction with my wife. Instead I have to STFU, lift and read. And when I doubt just STFU instead of posting in askMRP every time. To sum up…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/12/17 09:52 PM
1

Thanks man!
/r/MarriedRedPill27/12/17 02:18 PM
1

OYS #5 Vision: To live and work and surf for a year in Australia in 5 years from now. Stats: Weight: Around 190lbs/87kg, BF 18% Lifting: DL 220lbs/100kg, FS 3RM 154lbs/70kg, BP 132lbs/60kg Married since 5 years, 2 kids Dread Level around 1-y General: Lots of Christmas stuff with family and so. Nice to spend time together with the family. BUT always in the back of my head is this: "How does this affect my wifes picture of me? Will this deepen her view of me as only the nice husband that she enjoy…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/12/17 08:50 AM
1

Sometimes I'm sure I want a more active and vibrant sex life and will change whatever I need to get that; sometimes I just feel content to sip coffee with my wife and laugh about getting older. Relating. Exactly the same for me. Guess it might be depending a bit on how high my libido level is on that particular day.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/12/17 08:01 AM
2

Merry Christmas everybody
/r/askMRP25/12/17 06:34 AM
-2

Yo yo hear They say STFU, well that I've been doing since day one, Ever since my dad said, "Listen now son, I have to tell you a thing about women or two, you see, they are really just like me and you! We might have a penis but we're otherwise the same, so be nice to the girls or they'll think you are lame And treat the ladies with the uttermost respect, tell her that's a carrot in your pocket if your penis gets erect And when you find a good wife make sure to do as she say, that will get you la…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/12/17 06:13 PM
0

If no ones listening, how come you are answering?
/r/MarriedRedPill19/12/17 04:05 PM
0

Yes I'm realizing now that she is way smarter than I thought, wether she is conscious about it or not. Or I'm way dumber... No, i really can't just STFU. I'm a verbal person. I love to talk. Fear of speaking in public is not the issue for me, STfU is the issue. Fuck, I should take up slam poetry. Isn't it? Are all women so naturally good at the game or you reckon she studied it?
/r/MarriedRedPill19/12/17 03:44 PM
1

No, it's a family thing, wife and kids are coming. It has been a dream for me for many years and now I finally realized that all that stops me, is me. She's also exited about it.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/12/17 03:43 PM
1

OYS #4 Vision: To live and work and surf for a year in Australia in 5 years from now. Stats: Weight: Around 190lbs/87kg, BF 18% (based on estimate by GargantuaBlarg29, thanks) Lifting: DL 220lbs/100kg, FS 3RM 154lbs/70kg, BP 132lbs/60kg Married since 5 years, 2 kids Dread Level around 1-2 Finances: Not good enough. January will hopefully be better than December. The good thing though is that I have it more or less under control. We don't have much money at the moment but we have a budget and a p…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/12/17 02:49 PM
1

You know, today I had the thought of how much of what I do that I still actually do out of percieved duty rather than anything else. I feel its my duty to help my wife with the kids. I feel it's my duty to get up in the morning when the kids wake up so my wife can sleep. I feel it's my duty to bring the largest income to the household. The thing is, this goes both ways. I feel it's my wifes duty to be turned on by me since she is my wife. I feel it's my wifes duty to enjoy sex with me more than …
/r/askMRP16/12/17 07:54 PM
2

Dude, I took your advice literary. Was still sickish today, went lifting anyway as planned. It was awesome. I am sicker than before now but damn it was still worth it...
/r/askMRP16/12/17 07:37 PM
1

Whooaaaa, no I feel like I am close to one very important puzzle piece here! What's the main difference between the two?
/r/askMRP16/12/17 07:27 PM
1

No, she has always been like this, spare the very beginning when we were still dating. She IS usually reliable though. Before I was fine with her leading and me following since I mistook that behavior for letting her investing in our relation due to Game theory. So I thought I was letting her invest by not leading, when I was in fact following her lead. This has set the tone for the whole relationship.
/r/askMRP16/12/17 07:25 PM
1

You are absolutely right, the problem is that she sees me as father of the kids and her husband who is usually funny to be around and nice to sit close to in the sofa and handy to have around to help with the kids and household but can sometimes be a bit grumpy, but NOT at all as her lover who fucks her until she screams. No surprise since it's been years since I actually fucked her so she screamed. Now if I could choose I wouldn't mind to be all three if possible, the same way, I'd love to see …
/r/askMRP16/12/17 07:20 PM
1

So what you are saying is that RP is all about learning how to handle being a Man and has nothing to do with women? That's golden.
/r/askMRP15/12/17 07:56 PM
1

I get all emotional and shit when strangers invests so much time to help, really. Much appreciated bro! I think you are right with what you are saying, I should be patient and wait, lack of sex ain't gonna kill me for sure. And putting things in perspective is always good. Thing is I get more frustrated when my lady is around since I have a sense that I should have a right to fuck her if I want. Or something like that... When it comes to lifting I'm doing crossfit so I don't actually have my own…
/r/askMRP15/12/17 07:34 PM
1

Yea, this was also more like borderline flirting with colleague. Story goes like, we talk, she tells me she wants to stay with me rest of her life, and asks me if it's normal to feel attraction to others? I said, yes, if you stay with someone for a long time its almost inevitable but you have the choice if you want act on those feelings, and in our relationship it's not OK to actually have an affair. She thanked me later and said I was "wise". On another occasion she mentioned her boss (power = …
/r/MarriedRedPill15/12/17 07:07 PM
1

Amen.
/r/askMRP15/12/17 05:10 PM
1

Good point. Whats becoming clear now after reading the answers from you guys and also NMMNG is just how fucking deep and internalized I have made the tit-for-tat mindset. And not only that, but also trying to apply logic as in "If I do X the outcome will be Y"-mindset to humans, or more specifically, women. When the outcome is not there I get frustrated. I think I might be mildly autistic or something. What I have to do I think is putting the other part of my brain at work, the right half, which…
/r/askMRP15/12/17 04:45 PM
1

Maybe she had an emotional affair, she hinted it but I was just STFU about it, since I don't care that much, have other more important things to focus on, should I've set her a border there?
/r/MarriedRedPill15/12/17 03:32 PM
1

Yes this is so true, I get that a lot here, that I'm talking and explaining way to much. Guess it's time to change that.
/r/askMRP15/12/17 02:59 PM
1

Solid stuff, thanks man!
/r/askMRP15/12/17 02:58 PM
1

The problem is my feelings of anger and resentment. I want to fuck her, she doesn't want to fuck me often enough for me, I get feelings of anger towards her and don't want to do anything for her anymore even if I could. This is the bottom line, I'm pissed by having investied so much in her and not getting back what I want. This is me making Covert Contract 101 from NMMNG, and I'm breaking out of it now. If anything, I need LESS tit-for-tat thinking, not more.
/r/askMRP15/12/17 02:34 PM
1

Ok, good to hear that I'm onto something. I still have a tendency to be explicit about things, wanting to explain stuff, like telling instead of showing, this is something I apparently have to work on...
/r/askMRP15/12/17 02:28 PM
1

OP, if I had to guess, this one off question betrays something systemic and unaddressed. Own your shit weekly threads, the sidebar reading (focus on When I say no I feel Guilty) and make sure you're lifting weights often. Thanks a lot man! I think what is happening to me now is that since I started Crossfit I immediately got some initial results, positive feedback from wife on abs and pecs, and had an improvement in the sex/leadership area for a while, then came a setback or at least a plateau, …
/r/askMRP15/12/17 02:26 PM
1

Crossfit, make pulled pork, see a friend, go rock climbing, home renovations, drink beer with friends. Perfect weekend.
/r/askMRP15/12/17 02:11 PM
3

"Head Negotiator" huh... I get the point, good one.
/r/askMRP15/12/17 01:56 PM
1

I live in Europe, and in my country massage with HE is the most common form of prostitution. Still illegal though.
/r/askMRP15/12/17 01:54 PM
0

Good questions. A: Because I'm trying to learn how to lead her, and stop doing things for others just because they ask A: Because it's many months ahead and I usually plan on a 2-4 week horizon. It would be awkward to say "No, I will have plans" since I don't actually have plans that far ahead, at least not for that particular weekend.
/r/askMRP15/12/17 12:49 PM
1

I don't understand. Is that me or her saying that?
/r/askMRP15/12/17 12:22 PM
1

This makes sense. Great. No, this is far in the future and I have not yet made plans. I don't want to keep score. Reading NMMNG at the moment and trying to get out of the habit that I have to say yes to everything and not ever putting any demands of my own. Since she asked by email I will just STFU about it for now and if she brings it up face to face I'll talk about it. That much I've learned.
/r/askMRP15/12/17 12:15 PM
1

Not really, I thought it was progress that she is actually asking for my permission. I already lift 3 times/week and it's paid in advance, nothing comes between me and lifting except from sickness and injuries. I'm working on my frame, but progress is slow. Many years of habits to reprogram. All help is appreciated.
/r/askMRP15/12/17 12:11 PM
2

Point taken.
/r/askMRP15/12/17 12:01 PM
3

Really? Can she figure out from that what she has to do in order to earn services from me?
/r/askMRP15/12/17 11:56 AM
3

Thanks for you support bro. Yea I like to be in this place to see that at least I'm not alone in this. The problem for me right now is to come to terms with the "I'm out" part. I'm past the phase of being afraid to live without my wife, since I know I'd be just fine without her in my life. What I'm struggling with now is that a divorce would have so huge consequences in terms of finances, housing, the kids childhood etc. I myself grew up as a divorced child, I have one divorce behind me already …
/r/askMRP15/12/17 10:28 AM
2

Yea, I have to work on coming to terms with this. My plan is to spend less time with her alone, only "logistics time" with kids etc, and use my own time more wisely and invest it in other things and people who give something back...
/r/askMRP15/12/17 09:57 AM
1

OYS week 4 Vision: * To find my vision * I want to be a good male role model for my sons. * I want to be an example of a positive masculinity, a leader, strong mentally and physically, neither faggot nor asshole Finances: Still not in order. Had to ask wife to send me money to buy some stuff. Exercize: Got comment from guy in the box about positive development. Got email from coach about positive development asking about how it goes with training. I know that this is the very steep curve in the …
/r/MarriedRedPill14/12/17 03:18 PM
1

Well I can just say, I'm in a bit of a similar situation and I'm experiencing similar things right now. Shit test in the form of "you have such a macho attitude", "you always put yourself first", "you are so dominating", "you're not whom I thought" etc etc.
/r/askMRP14/12/17 09:11 AM
2

Lead. Take charge. Before she asks you, you say "hey can you do the dishes, I'm going out to slay some dragons/fuck some virgins/get bloated etc etc"
/r/askTRP13/12/17 07:04 PM
1

Ok thanks. You are probably right, I'm too much in her frame still
/r/askMRP13/12/17 08:07 AM
-1

"On the cost of passion. " I used to be a romantic son of a bitch, telling her how much I loved her, loving her unconditionally, opening up to her, wanting to be close, trying to kiss her passionately, wanting to have itntimate sex etc. But too many rejections over the years have made me a cynical motherfucker who thinks that if I can't have romantic intimate sex and a close relation at least I want to fuck her good on a regular basis, then build on my relations with my friends for the rest. May…
/r/askMRP13/12/17 05:10 AM
1

No, she didn't. This comment really got to my ego. This is the bottom line. I thought I was through this "I'm fine if she is not attracted to me" shit but apparently not. Good comment though. The thing is, for now I'm not doubting her intentions to stay with me as a stable partner and soulmate and bla bla, and she doesn't care that she's not getting the tingles. This fucking annoys me.
/r/askMRP12/12/17 07:54 PM
1

I've learned that she can't change her attraction for me. And I'm ok with that. I can improve and if she is still not attracted then well, that's how it is then. So to say this to her would more be stating a fact than trying to actually change something.
/r/askMRP12/12/17 05:13 PM
0

My plan is to stay in the relation, don't fuck other women, find my path in life, improve myself, and in a few months, if our sex life is not good enough, I'll tell her that we can either open up the relation or separate.
/r/askMRP12/12/17 04:37 PM
1

Could very well be the case. Could this be related to shit I did in the past while still drunk captain you reckon or is that just a rationalization?
/r/askMRP12/12/17 03:51 PM
0

Clear enough. I'm actually doing a lot of STFU with her, but quite the opposite in my posts here where I'm thinking out loud.
/r/askMRP12/12/17 03:41 PM
0

Yea, I was very much like that, thinking we need to be "close" and harmonic to have good sex, meaning I was always afraid to do something that'd make wife upset... I was so much in her frame I can't believe it... Thinking about the way forward right now, since we're at some kind of standoff where she's saying overtly "no sex until we are close" and I'm covertly saying "no closeness before sex"... guess just wait until we have sex and then give as much closeness as possible
/r/askMRP12/12/17 03:38 PM
2

her mind and emotions can change at any time. Oh yea... I guess it might be about calibrating which level of comfort to provide for her, not too much and not to little.
/r/askMRP12/12/17 02:34 PM
1

I'm gonna take a long shot here, but is the real issue for you that you always feel compelled to execute when she asks you to do something, but it doesn't work the other way around, and now you want to break that pattern? In that case your answers can be found in NMMNG. Either way you do it right now, you are in her frame.
/r/askMRP11/12/17 04:18 PM
1

Short update from yesterday night, after reading all good comments from you guys. During the day, provided kino, bantered a bit, got the "we have to talk first"-response to sex invites. In the evening, I go to bed first, wife comes and lays a bit away from me (our bed is ridicuosly large), say she's cold, I say come over here then, I can warm you up <grin>, she says something like "Serioulsy we have to talk before we can have sex", I respond like "Haha, you are cute, don't you ever stop thinking…
/r/askMRP11/12/17 07:15 AM
1

Great to hear someone else's experiences, thx!
/r/askMRP10/12/17 07:39 PM
2

Pro tip: roll up a sock and put it in your undies. The chicks will be swarming around ya.
/r/askTRP10/12/17 05:56 PM
1

Her, always.
/r/askMRP10/12/17 03:16 PM
1

I think this is spot on. She has also said explicitly that "we have to talk about things that happened in the past" that she can't let go of, referring to shit I did when I was still drunk/high captain. So I get positive kino response while she says she "can't have sex before we talk about the past". My response to this is just STFU and keep doing my stuff, maybe at some point talk to her and explain it in terms of NMMNG-stuff, since that's stuff I can be pretty open about.
/r/askMRP10/12/17 01:31 PM
1

Interesting. Come to think of it, I had a similar experience once with an ex. She asked what I was thinking of, and I just answered the truth, what a threesome would be like. She got really upset at first, then we had really good sex where she for the first time dressed up according to my wishes. Got to think about this a bit how it can be used for the future.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/12/17 01:44 PM
1

She says, and I quote: "I like sex, and I am not happy with it either. >I mean we are probably going to have sex tonight....we should >probably have sex now. I am so confused right now, you are such an >asshole and I mean, I want the romance and the flowers and stuff, >but you have been fucking me so good lately. Mmmmm. I want you >to fuck me now!" This was all delivered with genuine desire and lust, >so I took the very subtle hint, and we had some of the best sex we >have had in a while. Awesom…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/12/17 08:46 AM
1

d) follow up with a dick pick to assert your dominance
/r/askTRP07/12/17 12:05 PM
1

I was at work the time in between, didn't interact at all between SMS 1 and 2. I am right now religiously following the "texting only for logistics"-rule since I'm still in the beginning and don't have that much game, especially not over text.
/r/askMRP07/12/17 08:53 AM
2

Man, I love this place.
/r/askMRP07/12/17 08:24 AM
1

Ok. There might be something I'm not saying but I don't know myself what it would be. But I have been feeling that she is testing how much control she has over me lately.
/r/askMRP06/12/17 07:18 PM
1

No, just watching XYZ together.
/r/askMRP06/12/17 06:19 PM
2

I have rest day today, so evening was free.
/r/askMRP06/12/17 06:08 PM
1

OYS week 3 Vision: To find my vision. I want to be a good male role model for my sons. I want to be an example of a positive masculinity, a leader, strong mentally and physically, neither faggot nor asshole Finances: All over the place at the moment. Got X-mas-presents covered at least. Huge step forward here is that I’ve made a budget and are now completely transparent to wife with what is going on ,instead of feeling like I am failing my role as a provider when we run out of money. A lot becau…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/12/17 01:47 PM
5

From an evolutionary perspective, why would she want to have sex now, the purpose is already fulfilled? And congratulations by the way, I hope you made her pregnant because you want to have kids with her, and not to ensure steady availability to sex in the future.
/r/askMRP05/12/17 07:21 AM
1

Solid stuff, thanks!
/r/askMRP04/12/17 07:00 PM
2

You mean that attractiveness and unattractiveness are more behaviors than traits and you can actually have/do both at the same time? Makes sense actually!
/r/askMRP04/12/17 06:58 PM
1

I think that is a solid analysis.
/r/askMRP04/12/17 05:38 PM
3

Point taken, thank you both.
/r/askMRP04/12/17 05:33 PM
2

Goddamn it, sometimes the truth just sucks so hard. I'm actually doubting wether or not she will ever be attracted to me in that way. But I'm starting to realize that the goal for me is not to make her attracted to me, the point is to improve my life to a point where I don't at all care about wether or not she is attracted to me.
/r/askMRP04/12/17 05:02 PM
2

That's whats frustrates me. I don't look that bad. I have visible abs. Low BF. Tall. Something is missing but I don't know what it is. Yes I've hung up on why she is not more attracted to me, I should let it go I know....
/r/askMRP04/12/17 04:52 PM
2

So you mean it is possible for a chick to have good sex and enjoy it with someone she doesn't find attractive? Yea looks more and more as I'm going to work on myself for the next year or so and then I'm out.
/r/askMRP04/12/17 04:50 PM
1

I would respond yes, since I do go to church. If I didn't, I would respond no, I don't.
/r/askTRP04/12/17 05:51 AM
0

Clean and simple rule of thumb, awesome!
/r/askMRP03/12/17 09:23 AM
1

Amen. If you lived closer I'd buy you a beer anytime.
/r/askMRP02/12/17 09:02 PM
1

Yea I totally understand the difference! With my very first LTR, when I was 19, sex was awesome, we were together quite long and until the end I would get blowjobs as often as I liked. I didn't understand anything back then, but now I do, I was truly IDGAF. I was not IDGAF because I've heard it would be good to improve the sex life, but I was IDGAF because I didn't give a fuck. I'm trying to get back to that kind of genuine IDGAF.
/r/askMRP02/12/17 08:13 PM
1

Thanks man. This is helpful. This is so much what i should do. And will do besides lifting etc.
/r/askMRP02/12/17 08:03 PM
1

That's the thing, I need to trust that she really wants this, and that I'll be able to give it to her. When I feel like awesome and shit, and "now I could just fuck her really good" etc, I get turned down very often and that builds on my insecurity. She is not attracted enough, usually, to let go passionately, goes starfish instead, this in turn makes me question myself, etc. This has been like this for a long time. Ok there has been some improvement lately, I guess I should focus on that now an…
/r/askMRP02/12/17 07:56 PM
1

Good point. What I want is the kind of trust that she trusts me enough to give up control while we have sex. But not the kind of trust where she knows exactly where she has me, dread that is. She says the two kinds of trust are the same, but are they? How can I achieve one kind of trust and not the other? Ohhh.... wait...... Can this be a covert contract from her, stating like "stay around so I know where I have you if you want any sex with me"? Hmmmm sounds likely? Or am I hamstering now?
/r/askMRP02/12/17 06:36 PM
2

Great answer. You are probably spot on. I think I am addicted to sex. Or more precisely addicted to validation, Like, when we were separated for a while, no problem at all being without. Some days I had downs but no big deal, I just did some renovation, watched a movie or cooked something until it went over. BUT. When my lady is around and I feel down, I immediately associate it to lack of sex and/or closeness. Why? Don't know. Because I know that there's this ass and pussy right there, if I cou…
/r/askMRP02/12/17 06:08 PM
1

Ahh. Screwed up that one good. You are probably right, she said it as a joke and a compliment and I took it seriously and screwed up. Shit. That's a step in the wrong direction. Hope it's two steps forward one step back at least. Solid answer.
/r/askMRP02/12/17 05:45 PM
4

“How else can your man be your hero today?” Sounds rather cringey.
/r/askMRP02/12/17 05:12 PM
1

Yes, I find her attractive, big breasts and a trained body that I really like. That's why it's frustrating that I can't get as much out of that as I'd like. I see the sentence I wrote is unclear, I didn't mean I'm attracted to her just because we have kids etc. I do think however that the oppostite might be true, that she choose me because she wanted a stable partner, not because she wanted the best sex of her life. That's were the inbalance in our relation comes into play, she married me becaus…
/r/askMRP02/12/17 05:10 PM
1

Thanks for answers everyone. Now some update. Held frame as good as I could. Not good enough though cause I am WAF at the moment. We were talking a bit, she said something jokingly about "last week we had sex like we weren't married". That was like getting a punch right in the face. Because the occasion she was referring to was actually the first time in forever were we had sex like I think it should be (nothing spectacular, we just had sex like we both really meant it), and it was after a coupl…
/r/askMRP02/12/17 04:46 PM
0

Yea, I can get out for a while, I was in the gym earlier and went shopping etc. I have been working in the week, this was the weekend. I'm having a hard time here to balance between her feeling comfortable and that she can trust me, which she says she can't if I go away when she feels she needs me, and not always being available to her.
/r/askMRP02/12/17 04:34 PM
1

Solid advice. I know this in theory but I need my butt kicked every now and then over this.
/r/askMRP02/12/17 02:45 PM
1

Good point. I don't have a mission besides my job and my family. My dream has always been to have a stable harmonic family, grew up with divorced parents. Now I have that but still feels like something is missing. I think it's sex but might as well be something else.
/r/askMRP02/12/17 02:16 PM
1

Yea I'm starting to realize that it's just delaying instead of having to give a hard no. Don't know why I wrote above that I didn't get a hard no because I did actually, I tried to escalate there and then but got turned down. So she clearly doesn't feel like sex with me at the moment. I think this affects me so much not because I feel unattractive in general but because I see it as a huge thing that She is not attracted to me. Because we are married, we have kids, I'm attracted to her so it feel…
/r/askMRP02/12/17 02:14 PM
1

Did you fuck the CEO:s wife at the Christmas party? CEO:s tends to be offended by such stuff.
/r/askTRP01/12/17 06:19 PM
1

Quit the weed man, take it from someone who knows exactly how much weed prevents you from real change. Sure it feels nice and you have a good laugh with friends while stoned but it hinders true development. Allow yourself to do it once a year and you are good, more than that is too often.
/r/askTRP01/12/17 06:15 PM
8

Why didn't you use a condom? Use protection next time, and don't put your dick in crazy.
/r/askTRP01/12/17 11:37 AM
1

You don't have to explain it to me, but you should ask yourself why you want to enforce these boundaries upon her, to make sure you are not mate guarding.
/r/askMRP30/11/17 02:44 PM
1

Good point. Im still beating this kind of thinking out of myself, i.e. "I have to become more fit/fun/fuckable so my wife will fuck me more often". I'm half way through, I have identified this thought within myself, but I'm still working on letting it go to become actually IDGAF wether she fucks me or not. Because deliberately being IDGAF in order to achieve something is a paradox (I think)
/r/MarriedRedPill30/11/17 02:36 PM
1

Yea good thoughts. By drawing a border I meant more drawing a border against whining and bitching about things. It'll be interesting to see what happens now sexually. I'll suggest dates and stuff and try to escalate. When doing so in the past, for example if we had wine and sushi late at night, I'd assume we would have sex afterwards, and if she was "too tired" or "too whatever" afterwards I'd get annoyed or angry and feel unattractive, butthurt and frustrated. So now I'm trying to turn all that…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/11/17 08:08 PM
1

OYS 2 Vision Better sex is the first priority, more frequent the second Last week Well, happened a lot last week, both good shit and bad shit. Bad things first. What happened is that wife came home on Sat after being away with our kids for a while. Bad shit(?): Last two days (the days after the actual homecoming day) I have been drowning in shit tests. House was not clean enough, fridge was messy, etc etc. Since the house was not at all that messy I but actually cleaner that when she left I have…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/11/17 01:33 PM
3

Impossible to know for sure. Maybe she's not comfortable enough to have you over alone and wants to check you out. Or she is making a statement that it's not a date, and you are being friendzoned. Or she wants to fuck but had already told the friend to come over. As I said, impossible to know with so little info. Go there, drink wine with the girls and just have a good time and see what happens.
/r/askTRP24/11/17 09:51 PM
1

Are you autistic?
/r/askMRP24/11/17 09:01 PM
1

I was going to resond to your answer to clarify what I meant, but that'd feel like hamstering too much over such a small thing. I'm still partly in the "fake it" phase of "fake it til you make it"-thing, meaning my internal frame sometimes differ from what I show. Like in this case. Anyway, good points , I'm just gonna ignore this now all together, will see if she brings it up or not. Over and out.
/r/askTRP24/11/17 02:05 PM
6

WWCD? I want such a t-shirt.
/r/askTRP23/11/17 08:21 PM
1

Thanks for answering. Why is everybody assuming that my goal is to not upset LTR? My goal is to maximize dread. I didn't say I was scared of LTR or how LTR would react, I was thinking in terms of how to do act for maximum effect/dread.
/r/askTRP23/11/17 02:21 PM
2

OYS 1, my first post here short info Me: 43 yrs, 88kg, 189cm, lifting 3 times/week, BF estimated to 17% Married, kids in preschool and school age Last week I have been on my own at home, with wife and kids gone (not "gone" as in "gone" but "gone" as in "temprarily out of town visiting relatives, not due to relation difficulties") Has given me time to reflect and plan about the future. What I see is that I lack in our marriage is a good sex life that lives up to my standards. And I do not know if…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/11/17 03:41 PM
2

After making sure that you do what you can from your side, lifting, dressing, finances etc, you might want to look into some self-help book about Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, I've read "The Happiness Trap" by Russ Harris and it contains some really good tools for dealing with worrying.
/r/askMRP16/11/17 08:04 AM
2

This is a really good way to think about it, worked for me too. Shit outside your control can and will always happen in your life, but know that you will be able to deal with it, with Gods help since you're also a Christian. There's always things to worry about if you want to, climate change, war, terrorism, cancer etc etc. Lift, meditate, pray, let go and feel that you have the power to deal with whatever shit comes. If a problem has a solution, why worry? If a problem doesn't have a solution, …
/r/askMRP16/11/17 07:50 AM
1

Yea I see that now, glad I took the STFU response... Hmmm, interesting. I think that with the background that there has been improvement in this area, combined with that she has expressed increased trust and comfort, this might actually be the case. She has some control issues as well, so maybe she is struggling with letting over more control to me... Etiher way, does not change my way forward that much, STFU, lift, take more responsibility and be in charge... Thanks for replying!
/r/askMRP15/11/17 07:56 PM
1

Ok point taken.
/r/askMRP15/11/17 05:16 PM
1

Good idea. I'll start a routine to make a weekly plan every week. Historically I have not planned nearly enough.
/r/askMRP15/11/17 05:15 PM
1

This is good advice. I'm incorporating into my routine now to make weekly plans and financial plans as well.
/r/askMRP15/11/17 05:13 PM
1

Agree. So if wife is trying to invoke it in this way, means she doesn't have it? Or is that a too optimistic interpretation?
/r/askMRP15/11/17 05:12 PM
2

Some follow-up: Did the STFU response obviously. Topic has not been up again, got more emails today in a nice tone, for example making positive comments on my physical development (from lifting). As can be seen, yes, we communicate a lot by email right now, because of... reasons. But in the light of this, I will for now see yesterdays email as more or less a test from wifes side. But still a lot to work on.
/r/askMRP15/11/17 11:08 AM
1

Good, I was thinking that. The interesting thing is that I have made progress in this area recently and made her feelz more secure and leading better etc. So I guess this might be a test of wether it's genuine or not, or an attempt to turn things back and try to show who is in charge.
/r/askMRP15/11/17 09:34 AM
1

Come on, don't leave me hanging... What's your view on the subtext?
/r/askMRP14/11/17 08:22 PM
1

Then I guess I don't get the subtext...
/r/askMRP14/11/17 07:52 PM
1

Something along the lines of "I decide and you have to comply, and if you don't I will get angry, good that you comply so I didn't have to get angry this time"
/r/askMRP14/11/17 07:41 PM
3

I think I get the subtext, and the idea how to lead by acting preemptively instead of reactive. Good stuff. The subtlety of that email is crazy that you missed it. Your responses are all weak as shit and reactive as hell. You're trying to establish dominance without credibility - and you're trying soooo - fucking hard to seem tough. Your boundaries don't matter since you don't have any credibility in her eyes already (hence the e-mail). I take it from your response that for now, STFU is the best…
/r/askMRP14/11/17 07:20 PM
2

Yeaa sometime I am too much into drama, still working on that. And reading the sidebar. And lifting. Thanks for the advice!
/r/askMRP14/11/17 07:11 PM
1

Sounds like a good idea, my friend has a photostudio, he might be able to help me out to get some good angles.
/r/askMRP14/11/17 07:10 PM
1

Ok, get it, thanks
/r/askMRP14/11/17 06:31 PM
1

Thanks. DNAF = misspelled DGAF?
/r/askMRP14/11/17 06:04 PM
1

Good advice man! But if she brings it up after an email - "must have not been important" how does that makes sense?
/r/askMRP14/11/17 06:02 PM
1

Thanks man! Yea STFU is more powerful than I thought, applying it to colleauges and coworkers as well at times and works surprisingly well.
/r/askMRP14/11/17 05:21 PM
1

Thanks!
/r/askMRP14/11/17 05:21 PM
1

Thanks for input man. This comes after a period of improvement of our dynamics, so I think it might be a test of some kind...
/r/askMRP14/11/17 04:46 PM
2

Yea, thanks to the good advice I got here, it went really well. Before I had actually done anything but kept my mouth shut (SFTU) about the wedding day, she sent me an email hinting about a "happy ending" to the day. Wedding day was awesome, we had a good time together and a happy ending in the evening. Have been even more positive development since then I feel, with some occasional backlash, but I hope things are on a good way, the next few months will tell.
/r/askTRP14/11/17 04:20 PM
1

recon_johnny, your advice in this matter was rock solid. Thanks a lot for taking the time to answer. Bless! ♂
/r/askTRP22/09/17 06:28 AM
1

Thanks man, support much appreciated! Right now, my attitude to when she says these things is the same that I'd have to a teenager shouting to her parents "I hate you, I'm moving out" and slamming the door. So not taking it too seriously and not reacting to it too much but at the same time seeing it as a warning sign that she doesn't value and respect me/our marriage enough and things gotta change.
/r/askTRP18/09/17 08:36 AM
1

Thanks man, support much appreciated! Right now, my attitude to when she says these things is the same that I'd have to a teenager shouting to her parents "I hate you, I'm moving out" and slamming the door. So not taking it too seriously and not reacting to it too much but at the same time seeing it as a warning sign that she doesn't value and respect me/our marriage enough and things gotta change.
/r/askTRP18/09/17 08:35 AM
1

Thanks man, support much appreciated! Right now, my attitude to when she says these things is the same that I'd have to a teenager shouting to her parents "I hate you, I'm moving out" and slamming the door. So not taking it too seriously and not reacting to it too much but at the same time seeing it as a warning sign that she doesn't value and respect me/our marriage enough and things gotta change.
/r/askTRP18/09/17 08:34 AM
1

Thanks man, support much appreciated! Right now, my attitude to when she says these things is the same that I'd have to a teenager shouting to her parents "I hate you, I'm moving out" and slamming the door. So not taking it too seriously and not reacting to it too much but at the same time seeing it as a warning sign that she doesn't value and respect me/our marriage enough and things gotta change.
/r/askTRP18/09/17 08:34 AM
2

No, she planned that we should celebrate 5-year anniversary quite a while back. And to go back to the ring exchange place was also her idea. The thing here is, that while she seem to enjoy the romantic parts of our marriage with dinners, occasional lunch tête-a-tête, sitting close in couch and hugging etc, escalating from there is impossible. And there is no connection whatsoever between those things and sex, might not come as a surprise to the people in here, but I thougth that if you were clos…
/r/askTRP16/09/17 08:08 PM
1

Our box has quite a focus on lifting I'd say. Not only, of course, since it's Crossfit, but quite a bit. Thanks for the advice!
/r/askMRP16/09/17 07:51 PM
1

She has been saying things like "That was it, I'm out of this [marriage]!" Only to say 15 minutes later she didn't mean it etc etc. I have been picking up on it and reacting. Unitl now.
/r/askTRP16/09/17 01:13 PM
1

Wow man, that's exactly me, just replace "work" with other stuff that takes lots of time and I was (am?) reasoning EXACTLY like that. What is WAF btw?
/r/askMRP15/09/17 07:28 PM
1

Yes, I would actually.
/r/askMRP15/09/17 07:25 PM
1

Thanks man. Lifting hell yeah, I'm doing crossfit, it's fucking awesome for both body and mind.
/r/askMRP15/09/17 01:43 PM
1

Thanks, very helpful! And thanks a lot for clarifying what he meant, that is truly some good advice, my problem was not his attitude at all, I appreciate straightness, I just didn't understand how to apply what he said. I think I understand more and more that my way forward right now consists mostly of Crossfit, building up a social life away from the family, and withdrawing some of the support I'm currently doing at home and for our family. Then we'll see what happens, I hope and pray of course…
/r/askTRP15/09/17 01:29 PM
1

Thanks for your advice man, I hope that since I am a sexual person and have been expressing that to my wife quite a lot, hopefully she will notice if I suddenly stop talking about it and negotiating for it totally and start to wonder what is going on. But God knows it's fucking difficult to hold back from making a comment when I see her nice ass walk by in the kitchen in her tight trousers and all I want is to drag them down to her knees and fuck her right there on the table...
/r/askMRP15/09/17 01:23 PM
1

Thanks, I'll try that!
/r/askTRP15/09/17 12:28 PM
1

Exactly my thought too.
/r/askTRP15/09/17 12:28 PM
2

Thats good man, thanks. I'm working on the last part. Actually, she has been using that a lot lately. Don't know if she's serious or just bluffing, but I guess I'll find out sooner or later. So that's kind of my strategy right now, draw away a bit and build my own life were I can more easily exclude her if it ever comes to that.
/r/askTRP15/09/17 11:26 AM
2

Not really, no, if I wanted to chat with just a bunch of back-patting yes-sayers I would have gone elsewhere. I want the truth, especially when it hurts. Thus I value honesty and clarity, it's just that your comment merely makes a statement about how things have been in the past, and I'm more looking for help and guidance on the way forward from here. Thanks for taking the time btw, much appreciated.
/r/askTRP15/09/17 11:10 AM
1

Thanks for the advice. At this point when she feels "pushed" and whatnot when I mention sex, whats best to do from my own POV, to keep in mention it when I feel like it, without asking for it, but mention it in a playful way (which i like to do), or is it better to just not talk about it at all as if I was getting ready to get it elsewhere? Which is kind of the case even though I hope it doesn't have to go that far...
/r/askTRP15/09/17 11:05 AM
1

Have you got some constructive advice as well?
/r/askTRP15/09/17 10:54 AM
2

I'm doing Crossfit, so yes. Had that thought as well, to go on a date during the day and then go to Crossfit in the evening.
/r/askTRP15/09/17 10:52 AM
3

Thanks for your reply. Improving behavior slowly towards more RP, I think I get that part. One thought, how does this "have a good time no matter what"-mentality match up with expressing my needs and making her want to fulfill them? For me, If I'm in the "don't expect anything"-state of mind, it's very easy to accidentally slip into the "I'll just follow her in what she wants to do and be happy about it"-frame instead, which is pretty much how I ended up in my current situation. And this frame s…
/r/askTRP15/09/17 09:07 AM
1

Thanks for your reply, very valuable. That sounds probable, right now with small kids her focus is on catering for them and sex is not important for her as it still is for me. Do you have som thought on how application of dread would be done in this particular situation with the anniversary celebration?
/r/askTRP15/09/17 08:02 AM
2

Thanks, any good pointers to learn more about dread?
/r/askTRP15/09/17 07:47 AM
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