~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 3 | Harbouring resentment in future relationshipsHey OP I totally get it and relate. I held a lot of resentment too. Time has helped. Also just focusing on myself and not being available to anyone to waste my time has been great too. By clearing those negative thoughts/memories with the wrong guys from your mind, you make room to clearly see who would be a good match for you. It’s easier said than done but that helped me a lot. Establishing those boundaries in a new relationship can be so difficult. It’s like learning to walk again. I’m a lovi… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/01/22 08:51 PM |
| 8 | Pickmeisha me vs FDS enlightened me:Spot on. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/01/22 11:46 PM |
| 17 | Pickmeisha me vs FDS enlightened me:100% | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/01/22 11:45 PM |
| 18 | Remember: you and your sanity come first. Walk away from anyone who makes you feel miserableExactly. There’s billions of other people in the world. Cannot fall for the sunk cost fallacy. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/01/22 04:59 AM |
| 137 | Careful who you breed with. Man Repulsed by pregnant body. Will continue to be repulsed until it returns to “normal” This mentality is so common.She should 100% hold a grudge against him. How disgusting. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/12/21 02:28 AM |
| 3 | 🤗💰Lmfao 🤣 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/12/21 09:30 PM |
| 2 | 🤗💰I bought myself an iPad because I deserved it 🥰 no one ever spoiled me before I had to do it myself | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/12/21 09:30 PM |
| 41 | This is narcissistic abuse.Thank you. He made me feel insane for suggesting that he could hear me. In his mind he rewrote history to be that I just forgot my keys and locked myself out. It was then when I understood what gaslighting actually was. I felt insane and couldn’t figure a way out. I know this is very common so it’s important that we as women support each other when we see others in this situation. It’s important to reach out. I wish I had way more support than I did with him. I was in over my head for so long. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/12/21 02:34 AM |
| 13 | This is narcissistic abuse.Awe you’re very nice thank you 🤗 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/12/21 01:45 AM |
| 122 | This is narcissistic abuse.This is abuse. My ex did similar to me when he would get mad. He lost his house key for a while so we were only sharing my set. He was working from home and I was going to school. It was maybe -25C in January and we got into a fight while I was in class. Constantly texting me “fuck you” and whatever else. I left class to go home because I wasn’t paying attention anyway and was crying. When I got to my house, he would not open the door. I thought he just didn’t hear me so I tried calling him and … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/12/21 12:38 AM |
| 39 | Yep, just about what I expected 😡Average redditor | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/12/21 11:06 PM |
| 11 | Read this if you’ve ever wondered “what if I gave my lvx a second chance…?”“It was never me. It was always him. It’ll always be him. Low-value men will always be LV, even with the woman they want to spend their lives with.” Wow you fucking nailed it with that one. SO proud of you and glad you weren’t tricked by his manipulation. So much of your post was exactly like my ex. Right down to the low value garbage friends. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/12/21 07:26 PM |
| 13 | Was your dad an HVM?Appreciate that babe thank you 😘 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/12/21 11:52 PM |
| 116 | Was your dad an HVM?My dad was one of the most wonderful and high-value men I’ve ever met. I was extremely lucky to have him as a model of what a good partner should be. Although my mom and I didn’t have a great relationship, I was definitely daddy’s little girl. He loved me more than anything and never gave up on me. He took time to take me out for nice dinners, he would read to me, call me and text me every single day. He passed away a few years ago and I miss him so much. He adored my mom. Like just would move h… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/12/21 09:31 PM |
| 24 | general good advice about datingThis is such valuable advice I wish I could have given my younger self. I accepted terrible treatment for years and internalized that it must have been my fault. I know better now but my heart still hurts for my younger self. Overextending yourself to please others is more about your own idea that people will only love you if you can do stuff for them. Therapy helped a lot with that mentality. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/12/21 05:33 PM |
| 31 | general good advice about datingDon’t marry your first boyfriend. An old boss I had told me that. Really stuck with me. (He was very right in my situation) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/12/21 04:58 PM |
| 12 | What’s something a man did that gave you “the ick”?You win | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/12/21 06:32 AM |
| 9 | What’s something a man did that gave you “the ick”?Hahaha I died laughing at this comment. Angle 📐 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/12/21 04:18 AM |
| 14 | What’s something a man did that gave you “the ick”?Lmao thanks for sharing. What a walking red flag that guy sounds like | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/12/21 03:05 AM |
| 20 | What’s something a man did that gave you “the ick”?Lmao good for you | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/12/21 02:02 AM |
| 13 | What’s something a man did that gave you “the ick”?Noooo that’s so cringey 😬 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/12/21 12:52 AM |
| 67 | What’s something a man did that gave you “the ick”?Lmfao that’s so dumb. Was that supposed to be a compliment? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/12/21 12:52 AM |
| 50 | What’s something a man did that gave you “the ick”?I know his dick stinks | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/12/21 12:46 AM |
| 83 | What’s something a man did that gave you “the ick”?Definition of small dick energy | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/12/21 12:34 AM |
| 40 | What’s something a man did that gave you “the ick”?This is so valid! Men that can’t spell basic words really turn me off too. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/12/21 12:34 AM |
| 107 | What’s something a man did that gave you “the ick”?Lmao did he have a medical condition or something? Emotional support long johns 🥶 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/12/21 12:09 AM |
| 34 | What’s something a man did that gave you “the ick”?Gross behaviour. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/12/21 12:06 AM |
| 45 | What’s something a man did that gave you “the ick”?Yep its super embarrassing. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/21 11:59 PM |
| 88 | What’s something a man did that gave you “the ick”?Haha no that’s totally valid. Women have a naturally higher pain tolerance than men. Have you ever seen those videos of men wearing period cramp simulators? They can’t take it for a minute but wanna act like we’re the weak ones. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/21 11:44 PM |
| 95 | What’s something a man did that gave you “the ick”?Joe Goldberg energy | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/21 11:39 PM |
| 166 | What’s something a man did that gave you “the ick”?Yes I hate that so much. It’s rude. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/21 11:33 PM |
| 78 | What’s something a man did that gave you “the ick”?That’s abusive behaviour fr | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/21 11:24 PM |
| 94 | What’s something a man did that gave you “the ick”?That’s an excellent point. That’s probably exactly why. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/21 11:11 PM |
| 112 | What’s something a man did that gave you “the ick”?That’s VILE. If a man can’t clean his bathroom that’s the biggest red flag. It’s so gross. Why do they live like barn animals? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/21 11:05 PM |
| 48 | What’s something a man did that gave you “the ick”?Ok yes this disgusts me. Makes me want to puke when I smell it. I’m just super sensitive to burp smells idk why I always have been | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/21 11:01 PM |
| 203 | What’s something a man did that gave you “the ick”?Omg no that’s really gross. Men talking about their high school days is always an ick for me. Like you’re 30 has nothing of interest happened since high school?💀 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/21 10:57 PM |
| 103 | What’s something a man did that gave you “the ick”?Yikes 😳 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/21 10:56 PM |
| 95 | What’s something a man did that gave you “the ick”?LMFAO nooooooo 🤣🤣🤣 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/21 10:56 PM |
| 81 | What’s something a man did that gave you “the ick”?It’s also just gross. We know how many men actually wash their hands after they shit 🤢 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/21 10:44 PM |
| 42 | What’s something a man did that gave you “the ick”?Lmfao come on how could you pass on that offer? 🤣 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/21 10:43 PM |
| 86 | What’s something a man did that gave you “the ick”?Ooo this is a good one. My ex was so good about trimming his nails I always really appreciated it when we would have sex. He was a good man. It’s a part of basic grooming I don’t get what’s so hard for some guys | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/21 10:42 PM |
| 37 | What’s something a man did that gave you “the ick”?Big ick | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/21 10:38 PM |
| 92 | What’s something a man did that gave you “the ick”?Wait like food and everything??! This is why FDS. This is why. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/21 10:35 PM |
| 205 | What’s something a man did that gave you “the ick”?Just looking at a man like “huh, you kinda ugly hey” 😅 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/21 10:29 PM |
| 64 | What’s something a man did that gave you “the ick”?Guys that trim their armpits stay winning | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/21 10:14 PM |
| 72 | What’s something a man did that gave you “the ick”?I think I'd take this over hairy toe knuckles tbh | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/21 10:10 PM |
| 386 | What’s something a man did that gave you “the ick”?Omg I hate this like bro let me talk to the devil himself you’re SO annoying 🙃 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/21 10:01 PM |
| 84 | What’s something a man did that gave you “the ick”?Ah the team ambassadors. We stay clear. 😆 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/21 09:58 PM |
| 127 | What’s something a man did that gave you “the ick”?That’s for girls only 🙄 hahaha | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/21 09:54 PM |
| 76 | What’s something a man did that gave you “the ick”?Omg yes the littering gets me too | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/21 09:53 PM |
| 197 | What’s something a man did that gave you “the ick”?Please not the whole milk farts 😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/21 09:53 PM |
| 214 | What’s something a man did that gave you “the ick”?LMAO girl I said ick not vomit 🤮 that’s too funny I’m sorry | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/21 09:52 PM |
| 10 | No more wishy-washy menI’m proud of you. That takes a lot of guts. I like what the other commenter said, “if it’s not a fuck yes it’s a fuck no.” There’s no room for ambiguity. You’ll find something better. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/21 08:59 PM |
| 1 | Fitness advice - what does your go-to routine and diet look like that's helped you in levelling up?Oh I’ll have to check this out! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/21 12:06 AM |
| 2 | Fitness advice - what does your go-to routine and diet look like that's helped you in levelling up?Thank you for your advice! I'll maybe try tracking my macros more at first and see how it goes. I'm seeing a few comments suggesting HIIT so I think that's what I'll add into my routine as well as more core movements. I usually do stick with the elliptical since traditional cardio like treadmills are way too hard on my foot. Thank you again for your input! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/12/21 08:30 PM |
| 5 | Fitness advice - what does your go-to routine and diet look like that's helped you in levelling up?haha I'll have to incorporate more HIIT workouts for sure. I like being able to finish the work out fast as well. Thanks for your reply! Appreciate it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/12/21 08:28 PM |
| 28 | A message to male lurkers: So what exactly is it about FDS that triggers you?The funny thing about all this is I actually totally encourage men to have high standards and not settle either. Find a partner who is compatible where you both have goals, share the same values, are good to each other, acquire wealth and build a strong marriage, etc etc. HVW should aim to be with HVM. It's really not as complicated or crazy as some people make it to be. Why would you ever settle for less? Accepting struggle love or being in a relationship that makes you miserable is kinda just … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/12/21 07:11 PM |
| 28 | A message to male lurkers: So what exactly is it about FDS that triggers you?Exactly this. Men that know they hit all these points don't worry about it being unfair (it's not). Stating your standards to a man who meets them won't be an issue. They will naturally meet you there. No settling ever again. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/12/21 07:05 PM |
| 40 | A message to male lurkers: So what exactly is it about FDS that triggers you?LOL that post was so ridiculous. She did nothing wrong! Women are allowed to have standards for their partners. If you don't meet them, find someone else who will accept less. There is clearly plenty of pick-me women on that thread that will happily shack up with that kind of man. Leave the rest of us with certain standards alone. It's fine. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/12/21 07:02 PM |
| 10 | Fitness advice - what does your go-to routine and diet look like that's helped you in levelling up?Oh thank you I didn’t know that existed! I’ll check that out. Definitely feel like I have to adjust my exercises quite a bit due to my size. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/12/21 06:39 PM |
| 2 | Fitness advice - what does your go-to routine and diet look like that's helped you in levelling up?Hey thank you so much for your response! I posted here to reach more people but will post there in the future. I will incorporate more core exercises definitely going forward. Do you have a specific program you follow? I broke my foot a few years ago so I am limited when it comes to certain exercises as I literally fall over like a scared goat lol Do you track your macronutrients and calories throughout the day or do you just intuitively eat? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/12/21 06:33 PM |
| 2 | How long does it take you to say that you love someone?He’ll say it first if he means it | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/12/21 04:17 PM |
| 1 | Does anyone trust their pets when they don’t like a guy?Yes, you nailed it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/12/21 08:12 AM |
| 89 | Does anyone trust their pets when they don’t like a guy?My cats despised my LT ex. Like hated every second he was around. He was loud, abrupt, yelled at them for absolutely everything and would get jealous of them cuddling me? Insanity | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/12/21 09:23 PM |
| 7 | I came across this exercise from FDS recommended book "the power of pu*sy" and it had me a bit stumped! Would love to hear you ladies' opinions, if you'd wish to share! *WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM MEN?*Lmao no kidding. I didn’t want my hands to get tired typing it all out | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/12/21 12:20 AM |
| 10 | Why you should vet harshly. Please learn from my story.I'm just really sorry you're going through this. That sounds incredibly difficult. I'm glad you found this group for support. I pray you and your kids will be okay. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/12/21 10:36 PM |
| 31 | I came across this exercise from FDS recommended book "the power of pu*sy" and it had me a bit stumped! Would love to hear you ladies' opinions, if you'd wish to share! *WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM MEN?*🤕 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/12/21 07:11 PM |
| 26 | I came across this exercise from FDS recommended book "the power of pu*sy" and it had me a bit stumped! Would love to hear you ladies' opinions, if you'd wish to share! *WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM MEN?*That’s so sweet. I’m very happy for you. One day hopefully I’ll be able to say the same if I stick to my standards. I want exactly what you mentioned. Thanks for sharing and giving some hope. 🤗 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/12/21 07:10 PM |
| 156 | I came across this exercise from FDS recommended book "the power of pu*sy" and it had me a bit stumped! Would love to hear you ladies' opinions, if you'd wish to share! *WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM MEN?*Hmm, that’s a really good question lol Without getting too deep into the question and why I could provide these things for myself, I’d say: 1- Emotional support when I’m having a hard time. I don’t want someone who just shows up for the good stuff and gets uncomfortable when I’m upset or having a hard time. I want love when it’s hard too. That support goes a long way into me feeling safe. I’ve always struggled with trusting men because being vulnerable generally doesn’t work with LVM. 2-I want t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/12/21 06:02 PM |
| 9 | Cut him off. and become a queen. We're all rooting for you. (FDS art by me)Lmfaoooo 🤣 you’re so talented hahahaha | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/12/21 08:43 PM |
| 30 | This is pick me behavior straight up. Prioritizing your partner is part of the compromise and shows respect.Modern fairytale 🤡 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/12/21 04:10 PM |
| 72 | This is pick me behavior straight up. Prioritizing your partner is part of the compromise and shows respect.No way she gets picked 🤣 I agree with her you shouldn’t date these guys in the first place. Let them keep their video games and porn lmao | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/12/21 03:30 PM |
| 3 | This Christmas don’t be like me - Watch out for holiday lovebombingThat’s a good suggestion. Just something small to say I thought of you but not over the top. Especially for a first Christmas barely dating lol | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/12/21 05:52 AM |
| 35 | This Christmas don’t be like me - Watch out for holiday lovebombingHow long should you be seeing someone to buy them a gift? What price range should you stick with? What are the appropriate holiday stuff to do together when new to the relationship? Does FDS have a guide on this? I’ve been wondering myself | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/12/21 08:49 PM |
| 1 | Boundaries, block/delete, and keeping your standards high are all worth it in the end."Choose safety over returning to what's familiar, but harmful." I'm so embarrassed and ashamed that this took me so long to fully understand. Identifying mental and physical abuse patterns can be so difficult, especially when dealing with a narcissistic partner. It seems so simple now, but in the thick of it, I really believed I was worth nothing. My self-esteem was so damaged. I feel like I wasted so much of my life already, I don't want to waste another second being unhappy. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/12/21 12:44 AM |
| 10 | Imagine trying to pick up women by negging about living in a van down by the river. Yikes!Hobosexual | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/11/21 08:02 PM |
| 34 | Anyone Else Tired Of Sexism In The Gym/Fitness Culture?I’ve been going to the gym regularly for a couple months now and the one thing that really bothers me is how much the men there will interrupt me to ask if I need help when I’m clearly in the middle of a set. I’m short, so I can have a bit of trouble reaching some of the equipment, but it’s not impossible lol. If I ever have any questions about anything, I’ll ask another woman. I ignore the men completely even as they’re standing there until they go away. It’s very very very irritating for me. I… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/11/21 08:01 PM |
| 3 | Reminder: Time is precious.I’d rather live out my days alone then waste anymore of them in a bad relationship that drains me more than enriches my mind, body, and soul. Life is too short to try to fit into a situation that no longer serves me for who I’m growing into. I’m excited for the future and trying my best to no longer look backwards. I know what I want and I won’t settle for less than that just to have someone. The right person won’t make you question their interest in having a future together. When the right one … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/11/21 09:09 PM |
| 13 | Holiday Dating Reminders & TipsThis is a great list for vetting a new potential partner! Thanks for sharing | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/11/21 02:16 AM |
| 75 | Acrobatic sex from his poor wife still isn’t good enough for this hypocritical idiot! (Reposting)Yep 100%. A lot of these men don’t realize that the reason their wives don’t touch them is because the only time they’re giving physical intimacy is when they have an end goal in mind. Responding in the beginning feels like signing a contract for the end. They only remember they have a wife when they want to fuck her then bitch about it when she’s offended that she doesn’t want to let him masturbate into her. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/11/21 06:56 PM |
| 159 | Acrobatic sex from his poor wife still isn’t good enough for this hypocritical idiot! (Reposting)Omg I completely relate to this. Sometimes I browse that sub and do the same. There was a post about a man that had decided to get a divorce and him and his wife were really amicable about it. It seemed mature and I commented saying that I thought they handled it with class etc etc. Out of curiosity, I clicked on his profile. It was FULL of rape porn posts/comments, meet up requests for escorts, “degrade me” type NSFW sub comments. I was disgusted!!!!! Like no wonder your fucking marriage failed… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/11/21 06:25 PM |
| 35 | Ladies, please do not sleep with a man early on. This is what will happen.Exactly. This is such gross behaviour | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/11/21 06:27 AM |
| 8 | FDS when you're down on your looksAlso, please consider that this ugly troll of a “man” you dated likely really did a number on your confidence. You might not be seeing yourself in the most favourable way. But your perception is likely skewed. I know that’s how I was/have been feeling after my break up. I know I’m a pretty girl but I just was not feeling like it at all. Go to the gym, treat yourself to some new clothes, a fresh haircut and you’ll be golden. Just focus on your self-care. Little things like eyebrows and doing face… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/11/21 04:42 PM |
| 2 | Healing the Abandonment WoundThank you for your thoughtful reply. It’s been about 3 months. Congratulations on your successful business! That sounds amazing. That independence is a wonderful feeling. I will have to look into headspace for healing after a break up. Thank you again for your suggestions and sharing your story. 💜 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/11/21 07:06 PM |
| 5 | Healing the Abandonment Wound“We like to think that we can dp the right thing and receive love, but it doesn't work like that. “ That really got me. Thank you. I need to remember that. He told me that it wasn’t my fault a few times but it’s hard to internalize that when it feels so personal. I need to give myself that closure. Also, I will have to look into myofascial release. I’ve never heard of it but it sounds right up my alley. My body is holding onto a lot of the trauma and pain from the past couple years. I feel terri… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/11/21 02:13 AM |
| 5 | Healing the Abandonment WoundYeah, you're definitely not far off what actually happened. From my understanding, his ex quickly pursued another relationship with a man who lived across the country. She wanted to move out there with him with the kids, but my ex wouldn't let that happen. Their relationship subsequently fell apart. My best guess is she realized she wouldn't have her happily ever after with this other guy, she needed the financial support, and decided to instead double back under the guise of the "happy family r… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/11/21 11:57 PM |
| 4 | Healing the Abandonment WoundNo, you're absolutely right. The FDS handbook could definitely be used on a broader spectrum for women. I wish more knew about it. Just because you have BPD, doesn't mean everything you perceive is incorrect. Abusers will change your reality, bpd or not. We are just more likely to fall victim to it, unfortunately. I was definitely no exception to that. I've been really lucky that my therapist is focused on cluster b disorders so she's given me lots of great tips. It's all about finding the right… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/11/21 11:37 PM |
| 4 | Healing the Abandonment WoundYes to all of that. That’s been my experience exactly. Also having BPD makes us so much more susceptible to relationships with narcissistic men/ people in general. FDS helps us to spot those red flags long before the lovebombing hooks are in us. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/11/21 11:29 PM |
| 2 | Healing the Abandonment WoundThank you angel | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/11/21 11:15 PM |
| 3 | Healing the Abandonment WoundThank you so much ❤️ BPD makes implementing a lot of these FDS principles a lot more difficult, but I think overall it will be beneficial. Creating and maintaining boundaries is soooo difficult with BPD, but once we master that, I think we will be so much closer to our end goals | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/11/21 11:06 PM |
| 10 | Healing the Abandonment WoundThank you so much for your comment. I think you're actually 100% correct. I've been doing DBT and transference therapy, and it's been incredibly enlightening and helpful for the most part. Obviously as you know, the BPD lens can make things even more difficult and painful to experience. I regret not getting help with this way earlier on, but we live and learn. Sometimes the anger and pain feels like fire in my veins. You're not adding salt to the wound, don't worry. His flip-flopping on me over … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/11/21 10:25 PM |
| 4 | Healing the Abandonment WoundYou're absolutely right. I need to let myself get it all out. I'm sure I can find some humour in this at some point. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/11/21 08:49 PM |
| 11 | Healing the Abandonment WoundThank you so much for the kind words. I'm feeling very fragile right now but that's a pain I need to sit in to fully process these emotions. I'm so thankful to have a group of women to speak to on here. My own circle is quite small and not as understanding of these principles. I am so thankful for your words and will keep this post saved so I can refer back to it when I'm having a bad day. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/11/21 08:45 PM |
| 12 | Healing the Abandonment WoundThank you so much for the nice words. You're completely right. I need to grieve this completely and I'm trying to skip steps to avoid the pain. There really isn't an easy way out of this. I'm going to take this week to really care for myself. Let myself cry, watch dumb movies and be present in my grief. Thank you. It feels nice to be validated. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/11/21 08:40 PM |
| 18 | Healing the Abandonment WoundI really appreciate you taking the time to comment. Thank you for the kind words. I'm trying my best to run straight into the pain. For what it's worth, I don't think he's a loser and he was good to me in the beginning. I did mess up quite a bit too. Neither of us are completely blameless. I don't want to hold onto any more anger towards him or anyone. I just want to be free of it all. I am grateful it happened now, however. I don't know what I would have done had this happened later on. Healing… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/11/21 08:38 PM |
| 11 | Taylor Swifts - All Too Well (short film)Lmao so we all went through this hey? Yeah it was pretty hard to watch. I almost wanted to send it to my ex but knowing him, he would watch it and see nothing wrong with it. Abusive men will never get that they’re being abusive. It’s part of their M.O. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/11/21 12:40 AM |
| 16 | Is marriage always a good idea for a woman with assets?That’s so sad. It’s so common too. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/11/21 10:48 PM |
| 58 | Is marriage always a good idea for a woman with assets?PRENUP! A women left with nothing after her marriage is a survival tale i’d rather not live out. The fear of losing everything and starting over is what keeps women in bad situations with men they don’t love. Its so important to always have an exit plan. Keep cash hidden, property in another person’s name, maybe even keep a burner phone. Like another person said, sometimes it takes years for the mask to slip before you see what you married. You have to know you can escape on a moment’s notice an… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/11/21 10:04 PM |
| 13 | Dating outside of your raceI have zero problem dating outside of my race. That being said, with certain cultures, they are a lot more misogynistic and tend to breed fragile mama’s boys. My background is Hispanic and tbh, these men can be an absolute embarrassment. (Including my own family members) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/11/21 10:47 PM |
| 3 | Perspective | For years, I pursued men and got nowhere. Then I learned how to sit in the passenger’s seat.Thanks so much for the recommendation I’ll definitely check it out! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/11/21 09:50 PM |
| 23 | Perspective | For years, I pursued men and got nowhere. Then I learned how to sit in the passenger’s seat.“Men that expect to be pursued are usually feminized. There is nothing wrong with this but it’s not for me.” This is a really great observation actually. I can’t say I’ve ever considered it from this point of view. Thanks for sharing. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/11/21 09:07 AM |
| 63 | Perspective | For years, I pursued men and got nowhere. Then I learned how to sit in the passenger’s seat.Very true. We are programmed to overextend ourselves. We have to let the pendulum swing the other way sometimes too. Let a man show you he is strong and a good provider early on. Good men are hard to find but it’s not impossible. A HVM will act like it without being coached. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/11/21 09:04 AM |
| 29 | Another reason why we should never date men who don’t clean and proactively manage their health: this woman’s husband has poorly managed IBS and she’s getting shamed for being disgusted (“IN SICKNESS OR IN HEALTH!”) because he makes her clean up his literal shit.So true. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/11/21 07:03 PM |
| 40 | Another reason why we should never date men who don’t clean and proactively manage their health: this woman’s husband has poorly managed IBS and she’s getting shamed for being disgusted (“IN SICKNESS OR IN HEALTH!”) because he makes her clean up his literal shit.Blehhh 🤢 the amount of men that don’t even know how to properly clean a toilet is so embarrassing when they do …that… to them 🤣 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/11/21 05:26 PM |
| 128 | Another reason why we should never date men who don’t clean and proactively manage their health: this woman’s husband has poorly managed IBS and she’s getting shamed for being disgusted (“IN SICKNESS OR IN HEALTH!”) because he makes her clean up his literal shit.This is the truth 100%! You don’t owe anyone the rest of your life. Life can be so short and gone in a second, do you really want your last moments to be wishing you put your happiness first? Choosing misery is a form of self punishment. You can’t will yourself to be happy in a situation that you’ve grown of without actively lying to yourself everyday. I did it for far too long. I want to be passionate about the one I love and to have a lifetime of deep love. Id rather be single than settle for … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/11/21 05:21 PM |
| 70 | Another reason why we should never date men who don’t clean and proactively manage their health: this woman’s husband has poorly managed IBS and she’s getting shamed for being disgusted (“IN SICKNESS OR IN HEALTH!”) because he makes her clean up his literal shit.Not the mucinex monster hahahaha I spit out my coffee good job | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/11/21 05:14 PM |
| 29 | Didn’t realize this sub would cause me to be bannedlmao thats wonderful. I just replied "hahahahahahhahaha" and that was it. Such babies | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/11/21 04:54 AM |
| 32 | Didn’t realize this sub would cause me to be bannedHahah I know I was shocked truly | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/11/21 04:10 AM |
| 360 | Didn’t realize this sub would cause me to be bannedI got banned from relationship advice for commenting on a post about a man needing to watch porn during sex with his SO and couldn’t stay hard without it. I commented telling the woman it wasn’t her fault and that he was clearly a porn addict with PIED. I got banned and when I messaged the mods to ask why I got banned they replied “FDS bullshit” Seems I hit a nerve with the limp dick porn addict mods 🤔 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/11/21 02:32 AM |
| 3 | How do I [27F] forgive myself for my past dating mistakes?Hey please don’t be embarrassed or upset about these mistakes. I’m the same age as you and have a million mistakes under my belt as well. I think as women we tend to be more nurturing in nature so we tend to be drawn to the more “broken” ones. We think if we help them realize their potential, build their confidence, have sex with them, feed them, etc etc that they will suddenly realize our worth and how much they love and care for us. In reality this doesn’t happen. What does happen however is o… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/11/21 03:01 AM |
| 9 | I relapsedThis is so true. Proud of all of us tbh 💜🤗 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/11/21 09:12 PM |
| 23 | I relapsedExactly. Don’t be so hard on yourself. We have all been there. You didn’t lose your last scrap of dignity. These guys are so self absorbed they can barely see past the tip of their nose so I promise you he didn’t notice. It’s hard to recognize energy vampires at first but just the fact that you’re aware of it is more than most women can say. Let them be LV and miserable. They chose that path. You’re not doomed to the same fate if you choose your happiness. You will find someone who recognizes wh… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/11/21 07:02 PM |
| 2 | Pickme Argues with Man to Pay the BillMe too hahaha | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/11/21 01:32 AM |
| 6 | Pickme Argues with Man to Pay the BillLmao down bad | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/11/21 01:07 AM |
| 1 | Funniest/smallest/strangest Seinfeld-like red flag 🚩 you personally had with an ex?Awe that’s really so sweet 🥺 they’re like our best friends. Like their lives fully revolve around us. That relationship is so so sacred. I’m so sorry you lost her she sounds wonderful but I’m sure you gave her a beautiful life. Cats are the best judge of character | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/11/21 04:33 AM |
| 3 | TRUTH! My music tastes have really changed and I can't listen to a lot of rap music now.That’s a fair analysis. You’re entitled to your opinions on him I’m not trying to negate what you’re saying. It’s totally valid. I wish he would be a little more upfront about the fact that he’s actually been married to college girlfriend for years and they have two kids together. She’s a really respectable woman and they choose to keep that part of their life very private. I think he’s shown a ton of growth since the Warm Up days. He was really just a kid when that came out. I appreciate him pl… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/11/21 03:45 PM |
| -2 | TRUTH! My music tastes have really changed and I can't listen to a lot of rap music now.That’s totally okay we don’t have to agree on him. And Yeah I remember this drama on Twitter lol. Is he perfect? Absolutely not. Is he miles above most of these rappers? Absolutely he is. I don’t think it’s an all or nothing thing and I appreciate the steps he’s taken to educate himself since then. A lot of these men are extremely ignorant and healing our communities is not going to be a linear process. I will applaud the ones who try, especially when they’re educating other men. Edit : sorry an… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/11/21 03:07 PM |
| 24 | TRUTH! My music tastes have really changed and I can't listen to a lot of rap music now.I think we have to really make a distinction here with certain rappers. J.Cole for example is really out here breaking that mould. “Your Heart” w Joyner Lucas & J Cole to me shows a really good perspective. He’s my goat for sure. Let’s take future for example as a POS tho, he got like 7 kids by 6 different women, sounds like a microwave when he raps, and people fawn over this loser. Can’t stand it tbh | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/11/21 02:35 PM |
| 19 | Funniest/smallest/strangest Seinfeld-like red flag 🚩 you personally had with an ex?Yes I completely know what you mean. We should definitely take cues from our animals more about unsavoury people. I’m glad he’s your ex now and you and your kitty can be comfortable. I have two cats, but one of them is extremely chatty and anxious. Probably my fault from constantly holding her and kissing her as a kitten. She’s truly the most loving, sweet, cuddly animal I’ve ever had. Like I’m convinced she’s an angel lol but he couldn’t stand her. She’s quite chatty so he would actually yell a… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/11/21 12:40 PM |
| 13 | Funniest/smallest/strangest Seinfeld-like red flag 🚩 you personally had with an ex?You’re not wrong | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/11/21 02:53 AM |
| 58 | Funniest/smallest/strangest Seinfeld-like red flag 🚩 you personally had with an ex?That’s so sweet I’m so happy for you. I’ve come to realize myself that it’s a non negotiable for me. No more mediocre love. We all deserve better | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/11/21 11:04 PM |
| 73 | Funniest/smallest/strangest Seinfeld-like red flag 🚩 you personally had with an ex?I’m there too trust me. It’s borderline psychopathic behaviour honestly | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/11/21 09:32 PM |
| 298 | Funniest/smallest/strangest Seinfeld-like red flag 🚩 you personally had with an ex?He was mean to my cats! Would constantly yell at them or let them outside when I asked him not to. Would get like a visceral annoyed reaction when they would try to cuddle with me in bed. It was so strange. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/11/21 08:01 PM |
| 59 | Funniest/smallest/strangest Seinfeld-like red flag 🚩 you personally had with an ex?Eeeewwww | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/11/21 07:59 PM |
| 8 | What do you wish someone had told you about men when you were 14?Never let a man tell you more than once he does not want you. Listen and believe him the first time. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/11/21 10:33 PM |
| 5 | A short film on Gaslighting - Quite educational for those who haven’t gone through it and relatable for others who have gone through it.I haven’t watched this yet but just her face in the video still 😅 my face looked like that for years lmao | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/11/21 05:00 PM |
| 87 | What do you wish someone had told you about men when you were 14?1: They will lie about loving you forever to have sex with you. 2: once they feel inconvenienced by you, they will abandon you. 3: they’re incapable of being friends with a woman without sexualizing them 4: you’re not special, you’re not mature for your age, they’re only interested in you because of your age and the fact that no one their own age is interested. Their interest in teenagers doesn’t go away as they get older. You do also age, however, so their interest in you will also go away. 5: … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/11/21 01:54 AM |
| 150 | We deserved to be protected. We deserved to be stood up for. We deserved to be treated with respect and kindness.I love this community. In a sea of people telling us to accept this treatment as normal, I’m so glad there’s a safe space to talk about the trauma and impact the LVM’s have had on us since we were honestly too young to know any better. I can’t recommend this sub enough to my girlfriends irl. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/10/21 09:52 AM |
| 5 | Let's talk about picky eaters.Men who can’t handle spice are weak. What do you mean your tongue hurts? Fight back smh 🤦♀️ (unless you have a dietary issue I stand by this, grow up) But I agree 1000%! Cooking and food are huge passions of mine and I adore trying new things and new recipes. Nothing is nicer than making a new dish with someone who’s actually excited about exploring new things. In my opinion, this extends far past the kitchen. If they’re unwilling to try new things, they most likely are shitty in bed, stick to … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/10/21 11:35 PM |
| 32 | Does he accidentally break/ruin your things? Or is it covert domestic violence?My experience was him breaking stuff out of anger. He was mad about some work thing one day when I was in our home office and instead of talking like a normal person he threw the computer on the ground and stomped on it while screaming “fuck”. I ran to our room and was shaking and crying for hours and he got mad at ME. He said I shouldn’t be upset because it was his things and he was mad at work and not me. Through therapy I understood that the reason it upset me so much is because that’s a form… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/10/21 05:34 PM |
| 24 | When you can’t handle rejection. Wait until the endOmg the actual depravity!!! Ew what the fuck. I'm sorry you went through that. Sounds very scary tbh | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/10/21 07:23 PM |
| 12 | When you can’t handle rejection. Wait until the endAwe I'm really sorry to hear that. It sounds really really difficult. I have ADHD so can sympathize with the lack of awareness a bit. Object permanence is the thing I have the most trouble with. Like you described, its just literally not on my radar. I've had a lot of luck taking Vyvanse however. I hope that you're able to find some techniques that will work better for you. I wish we didn't live in a world where we as women needed to be SO extra careful of our surroundings. It's something men re… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/10/21 07:11 PM |
| 69 | When you can’t handle rejection. Wait until the endI find if I try that one then usually I am met with "oh lets see if I can change that". Their opinions on lesbians are so corrupted and moulded by porn they can't understand that some women are just not attracted to men. No one is safe unfortunately. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/10/21 06:06 PM |
| 62 | When you can’t handle rejection. Wait until the endNo girl please don't blast your music like that. If you look for one second like you're not paying attention or can't hear, someone can harm you. Always be aware of your surroundings. Whenever I'm alone and I start to get anxious about a man around me I start to note things as if I was filling out a police report in my head. Build, weight, race, eye color, hair color, etc. It helps me feel more in the control of the situation. No matter what we do though there is always a risk unfortunately. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/10/21 06:04 PM |
| 65 | When you can’t handle rejection. Wait until the endYes please always do this! it is so so dangerous if you don't hear someone coming at you from behind. Always stay vigilant. Don't blast music while jogging or walking either. It's so shitty that we have to do these things but men cannot be trusted not to harm us, so this is the result. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/10/21 06:01 PM |
| 47 | Spotted in another sub. Subtle red flag that I (as a short-legged woman) have experienced too!Lol did we all date the same guy 🙄 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/10/21 12:09 AM |
| 10 | Here’s What Women Say About Their [Male] Partners In TherapyMen’s cruelty truly knows no bounds. It’s insane how much they will take and take from you and not even see (or care) about the damage they do. They hate to hear about the impact they have so they brush you off and make therapy all but a necessity. All of these women could have used genuine support from their partner but what they got is selfishness and conditional love. Support only ever goes one way. Women will prop up men until they have nothing left but it never goes the other way. So done w… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/10/21 08:41 PM |
| 13 | Omg lol. Scrote husband spends 4 hours a day several days a week doing online therapy. More like porn/cam girls, video games, or both. The audacity. I just can’t 😂😂Definitely watching porn and jerking off | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/10/21 05:46 PM |
| 72 | FDS is featured on JezebelLol same. Changed my life. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/10/21 04:44 AM |
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