TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

ilovewinniethepooh Archive

View 3 posts and 154 comments by ilovewinniethepooh on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
12

LUNDY BANCROFT ARE YOU SHITTING ME 💓💓💓💘💘💘💜💜💜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/22 03:14 AM
68

Barricade the fucking door when you sleep. I’m completely fucking serious. Also look for cameras in your bedroom and bathroom.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 10:44 AM
8

I can totally understand how you feel in terms of all the green flags and also where your apprehensions are coming from. However, how can he focus 100% on something if he keeps moving on to the next thing? I can understand the need for having multiple things going on at once - I have ADHD, it’s basically my life path. But I also know that I have problems finishing things - if this is his issue, he needs to do the work on fixing the flaws in his process at some point. He needs to solidify somethi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 01:44 AM
27

Not the original commenter, but I would be worried that the $0 actually translates to him being in massive amounts of debt, and won’t begin to pay it off or even tell you about the existence of it until you two are married - waiting until you yourself are in a “partnership”/“look after your man” mindset with your loads of cash. Not a guarantee, but something to watch out for. (Although I believe massive amounts of debt/misrepresenting your financial situation is grounds for annulment in a lot of…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 12:30 AM
21

Do you have any concerns over the multiple failed ventures? It sounds like he is staying in this game for his ego or something - like wants to have the “identity” of an entrepreneur, but has none of the savvy to back it up. Do you think thats the issue? Do you know why he hasn’t let the whole thing go? He could have pivoted to something where he can utilize his education and have more steady money and opportunities for growth - I’m not sure why someone would avoid literally any of those opportun…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 12:05 AM
7

Honestly! And you know what, if you don’t have access to counselling, (dare I say it) YouTube is a great resource for self help and motivation, and library cards are free as shit and you can download self help e-books and audio books coming out the ass without ever leaving the house. There’s still things you can do to get yourself moving forward. But nevermind all that, doing nothing has obviously worked so far, let’s just keep doing the same thing and expect different results.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/22 11:47 PM
98

That’s what really makes me LMAO whenever it’s said that we are “not accepting of any trauma or baggage”, and that makes us unfeeling hags who will always end up alone. Like, we have lived out these fucking patterns already. The ones who bring their shit up on the first date (when they should be getting to know you and seeing if they like you) THOSE are the ones who ALWAYS become the problem. Come the fuck on, think about it logically for half a fucking second. I am not going to talk about my em…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/22 11:37 PM
327

“sHe cOulDn’t accEpT mY tRAuMa!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/22 06:07 PM
108

Yeah I feel like the best example for this is a woman demanding oral sex from her boyfriend after the bf is recovering from jaw surgery.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/21 09:05 PM
21

Never too late. You have nothing to lose if you try.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/21 06:11 AM
26

This needs to be posted and pinned - Ghislaine is the worst of the worst
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/21 05:43 AM
10

Actively picking apart other women in front of me. Complete fucking strangers, and just voicing his opinion on their appearance, as if it was absolutely important enough to be voiced, and completely normal and okay to say so. I told him straight up it was unattractive and to shut the fuck up. Oh, and he never commented on any men. I am so fucking embarrassed that I continued to go out with such a fucking spineless coward who thought that his opinions mattered so much in so many inappropriate sit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/21 06:54 AM
0

I love your art! Just for fun, I think it would be cool to see some drawings inspired by specific posts! Like, I am still thinking about that TikTok video (from the last couple of weeks) of the woman who owned a pink bike that she would ride to Pilates, and she was super excited about her zerowaste jars! I know that’s random to suggest, but I love your art!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/21 10:38 AM
6

Thank you!! 💖💖💖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 02:41 AM
5

I have adhd. That sounds genuinely awful. Any other random tips you have?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 12:44 AM
33

The pink bike, the Pilates, and the pole dancing. I feel this in my absolute soul.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/21 06:24 PM
16

Cue the “Cool girl” monologue
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/21 07:41 PM
5

Report now. The advice on here is important and will help you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/21 04:22 AM
5

I honestly wonder what (if any) proof she has that he is diabetic. In my experience the first lies these people tell are the hardest for us to shake - because they start at the very beginning, before things get bad. My ex (who admitted that he was a sociopath) supposedly had a undiagnosable stomach condition that would flare up whenever he was bored or whenever he sensed I was picking up on his lies. Turns out, he was also using that excuse to get pain meds however he could, and to distract me f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/21 04:07 AM
48

I was thinking that too! But I checked the original post, and OP said there was a bad snowstorm and the power was out for three days apparently. But yeah, best case scenario either he’s opportunistic and worst he’s straight up scum.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 10:36 PM
177

I remember this post vividly - the special candle wasn’t even stored with other candles. The power went out for a period of time, the boyfriend was home alone, and there was more than enough candles in regular storage to safely illuminate the house. The special candle was stored on completely different floor/section of the house, on display in OPs office (NEXT TO A PICTURE OF HER DEAD SISTER). The guy went out of his fucking way to find it, lit it, and then gaslit the SHIT out of OP when she got…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 09:14 PM
30

Yeah that’s my only singular critique. It should be roaches, slugs, goblins, trolls.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 11:57 PM
8

LOVE
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 11:50 PM
3

I love your take!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 09:05 PM
24

Yeah the tears here are what freaking gets me. I have no problem with men expressing their emotions, but this was not that. This guy either needed to be in therapy and was refusing to acknowledge that he should not be dating, or it was manipulation tactics. My instincts tell me the latter, and OPs alarm bells were obviously going off. Either way, hell no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 09:03 PM
17

Yeah, either something happened or he completely lied about his original job in the first place.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 08:59 PM
22

There is obviously a lot he is holding back from you. Either way, it seriously is not your problem. Time to find someone who matches up with you better. This is a great learning experience if you ever run into this kind of guy again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 08:58 PM
42

That soldier has to have AMBITION to BECOME a GENERAL. Do you think they just promote without the fucking work??!!! This guy will never do the WORK.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 08:55 PM
10

I know! This is just proof that’s she living the best life, and would have ruined it by adopting this adult baby.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 08:52 PM
27

Never ever help them get a job.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 07:11 PM
17

I don’t have much to say other than you are starting a VP job and are heading to the beach, and I am incredibly jealous and I love you for it. You need someone who will keep up with you, and who has similar types of goals. You would start to seriously resent him in only a few months when you would start dragging him to keep up with you. And you would also be taking care of the entire relationship after a period of time, because he is not willing to put the effort into anything, as you said yours…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 07:03 PM
17

It’s hot in AITA right now
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/21 10:38 PM
3

Been there, done that. Never again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/21 08:50 PM
2

Men will also treat you differently based on your weight. Unfortunate but true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/21 04:18 AM
1

Sounds fantastic! Thank you so much for responding! 💜💜💜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/21 02:56 AM
23

All of our collective experience tells you that you absolutely did the right thing. The fairytale of the “man who finally changes for that special woman” is never something that happens in real life. He showed you how he really felt about you over and over and over again. I can tell you from experience that his latest “loving” actions are not even about you (and I’m sorry to tell you that, I really am), they are about him not wanting to be alone. That is not the same thing, and that isn’t love.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 04:44 PM
28

Fantastic! Enjoy your self-care! 💖💖💖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 01:10 AM
71

Do yourself a favour and have a trusted friend stop by once a day, or someone to house sit for you. You can never tell with these assholes, he might try to come back and trash some of your nice things as revenge. Considering how he was policing you, he may have made a copy of any key you lent him, or a copy of yours if he had that kind of access. Edit: also let friends and family know immediately of the break-up, in case he contacts any of them and tries to get back in your house under the guise…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 12:58 AM
6

Completely unrelated to the topic and original post, but how did you pull off working three jobs? May I ask what sectors were they in/what kind of jobs they were? I’m assuming they had flexible hours of some kind? I only ask because my life is way better when I keep myself as busy as possible, and I remember enjoying and actually having the energy for two jobs for the entire period I had them, which was close to a year. Anyway, I’d love to know your experience! (You can DM me about if you prefer…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 09:01 PM
11

What was this moment?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 07:00 PM
3

Exactly. And by this point they had been in a relationship for 1-2 years. Just complete trash
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 01:14 AM
1

Great books to read, that are both completely hilarious in their delivery - He’s Just Not That Into You, and It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken. Highly recommend for a “palatable” delivery of FDS principles. I read them years ago, long before I was ever on Reddit, and it was instrumental to my growth. They were both recommended to me by a great friend. Make them Christmas presents, give them to her privately so you can explain the context behind your gifts - given as an act of love.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/21 10:53 PM
3

The epitome of dumb-foxing. I loved it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/21 09:07 PM
17

Did you read the update?!?! The boyfriend actually ADMITTED to the girlfriend that he didn’t like that she was feeling better about herself after her sister died, and he tried to push her back into depression by ruining her sisters candle. She dumped him thankfully, but the maliciousness is unfathomable and yet completely in line with everything I’ve experienced.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/21 09:05 PM
2

This made me laugh thank you 💓
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/21 06:05 PM
7

I agree completely. It’s insufferable and I’m glad this woman ghosted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/21 12:33 AM
25

The very fact that he literally points out that she “doesn’t use a hundred different hair products” and it “doesn’t take her long to do her hair” is what really makes me rage. It may seem like a non-issue to idiots who don’t pay attention, but in every woman’s experience, it is such a high indicator of misogynistic fuckery. Like, he literally thinks this makes her a top tier woman, the EfForTleSs kind. And any indication that she isn’t “low maintenance”, it just infuriates him. Whether her hair …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 11:20 PM
3

This is akin to the asshat who didn’t like the fact that his DERMATOLOGIST girlfriend had “so much skincare”, and said “she didn’t need it, she looks perfect!”, so he THREW IT OUT
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 09:40 PM
5

He doesn’t like ANY of the signifiers that she is non-white. The low-maintenance in this case is absolutely racially coded. He probably would have stolen her silk pillow case if she had one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 09:36 PM
1

I agree here. It’s definitely a valid clue that only requires you to observe the context of what he’s putting forward, and to also inject a dose of your own instincts. You did right by unmatching, because even in the most optimistic light you definitely would have had problems with how to spend your time (new restaurants/recipes for date nights and invitations to dinner parties), and also problems with the chore divide. Good job!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/21 06:12 AM
6

If he went for “oh then what’s your name?” INSTEAD of “OMG I could have sworn you were someone else” and immediately apologizing and walking away, then yeah, he was definitely trying some garbage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 06:01 PM
4

Exactly! This is precisely what I found. The intimidation factor is absolute gold. Once anyone realizes you don’t react as an NT, they absolutely shit themselves. And the right people always do stick around!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/21 08:52 PM
6

YUP
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/21 06:41 AM
12

She has super cute workout gear! Her line is sold by Urban Planet in Canada, and she has her own website to buy from!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/21 06:28 AM
21

Oh absolutely. The number one thing to do is to walk away when you see this behaviour. However, not all situations allow for it - such as coworkers, classmates, generally people you have to share space with. Friends, unless you are living with them, are of course not the same case. Block and delete, is always #1. I’m sorry you went through this with someone, and had so called friend take advantage of your familial traumas in order to manipulate you. What a piece of absolute trash.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/21 05:58 AM
69

I have one method of repellant, actually, and I discovered it by accident. In terms of autism, do you understand what “masking” is? It’s putting on a neurotypical character for other NTs in order for them to understand you. The repellent is to “unmask” entirely. Act how you would after a really long day and can no longer “mask”. Most NTs would describe this as being a dick, or acting cranky, or too deadpan or sarcastic. But in reality it’s just you being you, and NTs don’t understand you properl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/21 02:58 AM
60

Be super vague about it, refer to your “parents” instead of just your mother. Like another commenter said, your parents are “progressive”. When it comes time to reveal the situation, explain that you keep the (lack of) relationship with your father as private, and that you keep it close to the vest because you keep your complicated family relationships private from someone until you get to know them better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/21 02:27 AM
123

I mentioned it in another comment, but it’s completely the Sherlock Holmes/deduction bullshit. Every person who has tried to do this to me has always been completely wrong, and are also convinced I’m in denial and that they, a basic stranger, know me better. And they think I’m in denial because my rebuttal to their nonsense is that I know my own fucking mind.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/21 11:08 PM
173

It’s some sort of ego tripping bullshit. Like they have to believe so fucking much that they are so smart that they understand every single person (woman) around them based on absolutely nothing. Like they are really committed to the idea they have Sherlock Holmes levels of deduction. Edit: a lot of my own fucking “traits” that men have analyzed about me have everything to do with being someone who has both ADHD and autism. Nothing to do with being “shy” or “traumatized” or “guarded” or “in need…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/21 09:34 PM
556

I call it “narrating”. He’s trying to define things that aren’t there, and also appear like he can “read” you. Edit: I also really appreciate your line about it being a movie for him. I have said on more than one occasion “What movie do you think this is?”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/21 08:28 PM
20

Good! Be DONE with this ass, and be DONE with ever seeing this behaviour ever again! In the future, make a promise to yourself that “once is always enough”. Don’t stick around for the second opportunity to be shitty towards you. Second and third times, you’re just talking yourself into the hundredth. It will never stop, no matter how much you beg someone else to see you as a person and treat you like one. Look at you! You knew how to handle conflict before, and you definitely know now after your…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 08:44 AM
8

Exactly! I’m all for growth and change and will absolutely take and heed criticism from reliable sources, but the obvious caveat is that those critiques come from people who love you and care about you. These types of men do not care about us at all. It’s sucks that we can find ourselves in relationships with people who so obviously do not care about us. They have to be the centre of everything, unless there’s a problem, then it’s all you. And even then, it’s not them telling you “hey, this is s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 08:33 AM
77

Also! “in attempts to find faults in my behavior - trying to highlight them” I sincerely doubt you were acting like some detective poking and prodding trying to find the teensiest thing to be mad about. The only flaw that you brought to the relationship is that you have functioning eyeballs and a functioning brain and a functioning voice box, and he was absolutely livid that you were using all three of them. He is going to have a bitch of a time in his future relationships. It sounds like he can…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 07:17 AM
25

That’s exactly what I figured. I would bet you a whole lot of money that he was fishing for something to hold against you once you brought up something he didn’t want to let go of. Trust your gut, you know what your vices are. Have other people in your life expressed concern about your drinking? If not, then this guy was just looking for something to bring up every time you brought up porn. He was likely using it as a way to “humble” you, and remind you how “flawed” you are, “just like him”. It …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 06:59 AM
22

I’m sorry this is happening to you. But yeah, “generous” in this context absolutely means “I don’t want to be doing this at all, you should be thanking me all the fucking time and acting like I walk on water”. And it’s in reference to things like, taking out the garbage and vacuuming or something ridiculously menial.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 06:53 AM
2

Think of how you are going to be treating him in the future, and how much you care that you are hurting him. Then think about what he is doing now, and how much he doesn’t care about you. You owe him zero kindness. He has proven he is undeserving of any of your good graces.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 06:50 AM
2

If this is his history, prepare for your stuff to actually be broken. It’s not guaranteed but very likely. This guy doesn’t sound…stable. A few questions: Is there anyway your family can lend you the money to GTFO??? And then you can pay them back of course. That way you’re out of this situation, and you’re not living with poison while you save up. I’ve done the dissociating thing once before, and while it definitely aids you in times of need, it is exhausting. Be prepared to take some time for …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 06:47 AM
3

Have an exit plan. Take your own vehicle to the date, or have a friend or family member that you can call/text for a ride within a reasonable time frame, or have cab numbers or Uber/Lyft apps ready to go, or if you take transit, keep an eye out for bus times. You can make calls/ride requests privately in the bathroom. Other commenters have the right idea, it’s about leaving and not looking back at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 06:19 AM
6

If you had called him out he would have just found a way to hide his porn better. Let him be careless, so his future partners can find out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 05:43 AM
15

Did he bring up the drinking before or after you brought up the porn?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 05:31 AM
150

If he does come crawling back in any other way, like coming by your place or finding you at work, do not entertain ANYTHING he has to say.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 05:26 AM
57

Yeah I was gonna say the exact same thing. The word “generous” in describing oneself is ALWAYS used by people who are in fact doing the bare fucking minimum, and sometimes not even that. He calls it “generous” because he REALLY doesn’t WANT to do the things for you, and does them anyway because he “has” to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 05:25 AM
1

This is fantastic! THANK YOU!! 💜💖💝
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/21 06:39 PM
2

He wanted the credit of “planning” a date without actually having one. Hence the screenshots as a way to say “this is definitely happening” and turns out later “oops it’s not!!” I’ve definitely seen this before executed in this exact way, numerous times. This behaviour would have definitely been repeated. It’s a way to control your feelings - you “see” the effort he’s putting in, and you excuse the results because “shit happens!” And if you called him out on it further down the line, you would h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 10:16 AM
1

Please tell me the specifics of this body language!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 09:53 AM
2

“For some odd reason” = you are at the prime age for older predators to target you. It’s in the playbook of shittier men to look for women who they can manipulate. If you don’t have a lot of life experience, you are a prime target. Finding a late-teens/early 20s woman to slowly abuse until you are basically their slave/incubator/pornstar/maid/second mother, is an absolute dream for them. There is a reason they will refuse to date women their own age. You have to remain careful even until your la…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 08:34 AM
4

Entitlement, pure and simple.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 08:21 AM
42

Yeah the thing I definitely hate about the referenced metaphor is that it makes it sound like we waltzed in to fucking Gucci and Dior and are squealing with delight at all of our options. A more appropriate metaphor is that we are scrounging for Chanel in the middle of a LANDFILL. You’re goddamn right you get to come to a “job interview” to convince me you don’t belong with the rest. There is ZERO understanding or caring about how objectively awful it is. Like this sub did not fill up one day be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 08:11 AM
85

Triangulation as well!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 07:58 AM
45

What were the red flags for you?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/21 05:44 AM
42

I swear I want to make a running list of the stupidest female stereotypes that are really just things that men do in real life, constantly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/21 12:31 AM
3

He was priming you for some low level triangulation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/21 12:46 PM
34

I’m glad that you are able to let your mourning exist alongside your steps forward, instead of grieving the relationship as your sole activity until you feel ready to move forward. The reality is we can get too settled in our grief, and it’s general human nature to never feel “ready” to move forward to the next phase of our lives, no matter what circumstances ended the previous phase. So it’s great you’re taking the steps anyway, and allowing your grief for the relationship to exist alongside of…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 08:26 AM
3

Good on you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 05:05 PM
13

By the by I saw your earlier post and I am putting the blue bag on my vision board because I want to be able to afford it comfortably myself someday
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 04:58 PM
1

YES 💖💖💖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 03:46 PM
2

Make a list ahead of time of things you can do to distract yourself/aid in your mental wellness whenever the temptations really bad. Look at it whenever you are feeling weak or low.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 08:01 AM
3

*I do not like OR RESPECT insensitive clods
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 07:54 AM
109

He’s trying to make it seem like he values mental over physical, but it’s actually the reverse. He’s trying to elevate himself by shitting on physical (which he does by including mental). And then if you say yes (with you valuing mental) he has an automatic in for physical (which is what he wants). If that doesn’t make sense let me know and I’ll do my best to clarify further.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 07:49 AM
1

Books: By Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo - He's Just Not That into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys By Greg Behrendt and Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt - It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy Both books will make you laugh your ass off while the authors tell you exactly what you need to hear. They make you feel like an idiot while freeing you at the exact same moment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 07:38 AM
8

Trust your gut. TRUST. IT.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 06:30 AM
2

This whole thing makes me want to throw up, holy fucking christ
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 05:09 AM
5

What were the red flags in your situation?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 04:55 AM
48

Only two people have ever said this to me in my entire life. Both were 100% boundary smashing assholes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/21 06:45 AM
1

There’s some good narc material on YouTube made by psychology professionals/experts. It may be helpful to you. I would imagine there has to be something about how to talk to a friend. Edit: https://speakoutloud.net/helping-victims-survivors/coercive-control-stage-1
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/21 06:25 AM
29

http://www.silkparlor.com/the-artist Sorry, looks like the lampshades are all expensive. The pendants are much cheaper but seem to be all sold out :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 09:47 PM
58

Can we please all buy one of Anna's beautiful Victorian lampshades?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 09:24 PM
6

There were some good articles written about this, about how widows and widowers are expected to grieve, well, basically forever it seems. And how moving on always seems to soon, even though finding new love and the grieving process often overlap. https://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/relationships/too-soon-why-we-harshly-judge-the-widowed-when-they-find-newlove/article37607669/ https://nationalpost.com/entertainment/celebrity/no-right-time-line-for-new-romantic-relationship-after-death-of-spouse-…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 11:18 PM
2

My ADHD ass is loving this plan
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 10:02 PM
15

Please listen to the “oops wrong number“ comment if you haven’t replied already :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 09:26 PM
7

This is an actual monster. Good for you! I hope you post here anytime you need some support 💖💖💖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 09:15 PM
29

Great for you! The important thing being that YOU enjoy it! 💖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 07:02 PM
72

“But it wouldn’t look good on you!” AND?!!? Edit: I’m sure you look great with short hair! I don’t have the “face for it” and I’m tired of hearing it. It’s not about aesthetics, at certain points in my life I get too tired to care for my hair and need an easy fix.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 06:48 PM
70

Link to full article. The nature of the headline is meant to be a knock against the company, not “this is something neat!” https://www.cnet.com/news/clearview-app-lets-strangers-find-your-name-info-with-snap-of-a-photo-report-says/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/21 06:28 PM
20

Congratulations! Think of how your life is going to catapult forward now that you are not mentally and emotionally dragging around someone like that. Best of luck!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/21 03:03 AM
6

Vulnerable women in vulnerable situations. Whether that vulnerability is mental, physical, emotional, familial, or any combination of anything, it doesn’t really matter. Confident underage girls with good support systems in place, are not the targets of these men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/21 03:00 AM
31

I would make so much money if these kinds of casinos existed
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 11:31 PM
49

He’ll give you a ring pop so it can double as food after he’s sucked you dry
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 11:30 PM
55

Except in this case, it wouldn’t even be “snooping”! Your guy was upfront with his paperwork so there was no cause for it. I could be wrong, but I believe that once it gets to the level of someone having to snoop, there’s no good road ahead.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 11:27 PM
52

Yeah, they want you to think you’re the one taking advantage of them, and then to prove it you take the liberty of laying flatter on the ground.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 10:54 PM
141

Ugh, this has to be beyond infuriating for this woman. The guy lies about the state and general security of his finances/AND SALARY and then accuses her of “wanting a millionaire” when she finds out he has zero financial security or budgeting skills. I’m so tired of seeing the cartoonish grandiosity in action. He thinks he’s great by buying his family expensive gifts and finds ways to tell himself a story about what a great person he is, but he shows zero responsibility for himself or his partne…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 10:38 PM
423

FFS, I swear EVERYWHERE I look on any relationship-related post, I see way more male gold-diggers accusing the women they are financially abusing of being the actual gold-digger. And I see it way more than I ever see of any actual FEMALE gold-diggers. WTF????!!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 09:57 PM
22

Yes, super hot female cashiers are regularly offering up their uteri to strangers. We must obliterate our vaginas early and often. Do we not all remember that phase of our lives?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 11:51 AM
88

Thank you for making them earn it early in life!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 11:42 AM
1

Oh I agree with you, and I’m actually not saying that leniency should be “offered” in that sense to those who hold these kinds of ideas. The “almost getting it” is not intended as a “well, they are trying!”. It’s only supposed to call out the pattern of someone beginning to see the light and then falling back into the same shitty pit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 11:40 AM
5

BE STILL MY HEART 💓💓💓
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 02:25 AM
10

100%
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 02:22 AM
15

Hugs right back at you! 💝
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 01:56 AM
46

Thank you! 💖💖💖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 07:37 PM
191

I would not wife me right now, (I was doing really well for a stretch, then I fell off because of home life/pandemic) but I’m working on it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 05:31 PM
9

Good for you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 05:27 PM
1

I did not mean in terms of men to date, I make no mention of that in the post. I meant in general men/women who share their ideas/rheteoric, who seem to have the right “beginnings” but the wrong outcomes. There’s a post from the other day that had a man saying to find a woman who is in love with their own life (which is good), so then it would inspire the guy to be better (which is not great, because the guy should be doing that already). So, it makes the whole thing wrong, but it starts out cor…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 05:25 PM
8

Be honest about the nature of your masking. Explain why you go in and out, and explain that the whys/and how’s are not set rules, only guidelines. Explain your energy levels and how masking affects it. Based on experience, they either get it or they simply don’t. Or, they say they are understanding, and then when they actually experience what it’s like to be with you, they can STILL be shocked pikachu face. Your unmasked self needs to be the priority when getting into a relationship. The masks y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 06:48 AM
6

I would think that too, but she sounds very much unable to pay it off and seems pretty broke. I’m not saying men don’t try it, but it seems this guy lost interest enough that obviously he wanted to start “fresh” with someone else.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/21 06:51 PM
15

I feel seen by this entire thread.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/21 06:29 PM
9

This is a brilliant poem, thank you for sharing it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/21 06:13 PM
39

But then that would make her a gOldDiGger
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/21 08:25 AM
58

Yes. It’s a fairy tale. “I’ll naturally want to do better and eliminate all my shitty qualities when I find the right person.” So what kind of fucking bridge troll are you going to be IN THE MEANTIME!?! Do you REALLY think you are going to attract the woman of your dreams BEFORE addressing all of your sub-par qualities??!! Oh no, she has to SEE PAST IT, and just MAGICALLY KNOW what a real fucking diamond you really are. So women are supposed to guess and hope and wait and cheerlead this “potenti…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/21 08:08 AM
117

Honest to god, with some of the depravity and lies I have witnessed, my first thought was that he either lost his job or got fed up and quit without a backup plan. I thought that he was absolutely lying about being successful, and made up the whole thing. He either didn’t actually travel and just ignored her for weeks at a time, until he finally had the “strength” to end it - or he did travel, blowing his savings or going into credit card debt. Those are just things I’ve fucking seen, but the su…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/21 02:15 AM
145

Precisely! The woman is not “good enough” to be treated with respect. Jesus, treat people respectfully until they give you a reason not to. You don’t walk around treating everyone like garbage, waiting for them to “prove” their worth to you, so you can then allow yourself to stop treating them like garbage because woohoo they have now gained your respect. And I’m sure that last note can be used against FDS because apparently FDS “treats men like shit and forces men to prove their worth as a huma…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/21 02:01 AM
271

YUP. It’s truly an advantageous fairy-tale. A guy gets to use his storied past as a way to make a future woman feel special. Meanwhile, the opposite of this is a woman getting slutshamed for literally the EXACT same story and same amount of experience. In real fucking life, can a woman sleep around and maintain all of her social capital in the same way a guy can? NOPE Edit: also I would like to point out that fuckboys with a heart of gold don’t exist. It’s an idea carried by those who sleep arou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 11:41 PM
538

I find the trope of sleeping around habitually only to suddenly stop and settle for “the one”, is only a flowery narrative that is disguising something else. It is a fairy-tale that is a dressed-up version of a man touting “you’re not like other girls”. The whole idea is also definitely in a situationship with the never-dying trope of the manic pixie dream girl. The trope is not actually about the man. The trope has something it wants to say about the “kind of woman” that can get a man to settle…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 11:26 PM
29

A new flair is needed: “SO close”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 10:47 PM
99

THANK YOU. WE KNOW THE MOTHERFUCKING DIFFERENCE.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 10:19 PM
2

Omg I’m so sorry but I laughed hard at this and I shouldn’t have :((
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 08:20 AM
6

I would lump those expenses in with a regular students expenses for general partying and going out for a good time. Students are definitely going out and spending time with friends in some aspect. That money is being spent anyways.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 08:10 AM
89

It sets off my alarm bells too. After some thought, it’s because it definitely reminds me of a specific kind of virtue signalling I’ve seen before. A lot of men will see women complain about their boyfriends refusal to reciprocate oral. And the consequence of it is you get oh-so-smart-men who then announce that they love oral and don’t need you to give anything in return. This guy goes wrong with his plan, because I don’t want a guy who loves oral, all the time, day or night, with any vagina. I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 08:04 AM
21

If you felt he was rushing, then he was. You can always trust your instincts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 07:53 AM
54

“We can still talk” in my (repeated) experience has never ever been evidence of an actual olive branch. It’s always a barbed tentacle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 07:51 AM
5

And yet there are women out there with 2/3, 1/3, or 0/3 of these. They are still women. Good lord.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 04:35 AM
97

“Removal” in this instance is akin to removing something from a place where you treat them humanely. Being placed upon a pedestal is something that is seen as great at first glance, and later is always shown to be problematic. A lot of women know the problems that come from being “put on a pedestal” by another man. Lots of problems, mostly involving inhumane and unrealistic expectations. The term “removal” here is a direct callout of the language regarding the term “put on a pedestal”. Firstly, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 04:16 AM
5

Search “triangle” and “triangulation” in this subreddit
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 11:04 AM
9

Yeah, don’t engage with him if he’s threatening suicide. That’s a no go. You did good.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 06:39 AM
26

The “family” thing is described as such so he can violate your boundaries however he pleases. Texts late at night? She’s family. Phone calls? She’s family. Creeping her social media? She’s family. It doesn’t matter about his past - the way he handled this present day situation is what speaks volumes. He is with you, and that should have been the story from the evening - that you had a nice evening together. This was a moment that could have been easily rectified and immediately forgotten. There …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 06:24 AM
72

We are taught to look out for the lovebombing though. Even in this stage, there are ways that narcissists still violate certain boundaries and become “needy.” They’re not going to get far, even when they’re being “nice”. Because the second you state that you have other things to do (aka your life), they start to escalate the drama. It’s immediate. It’s why part of the deal of FDS is that it is so important that you have your own life, and you don’t let a man you are just getting to know get in t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 06:01 AM
184

Awww. Looks like someone thinks we don’t know exactly how to grey rock until they’re blue in the face and balls. Also, we all know what lovebombing looks like, which is exactly the behaviour he’s referring to. Does he think people come to this sub because we’ve only dealt with nice men? We’ve dealt with the dregs. I love how the narcissists can’t get over how absolutely not special and completely textbook they are. They do the same things as all other narcissists. Ah the irony.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 05:52 AM
31

Honestly, I would be accepting of a woman in her early 30s in a relationship with a much older man. 30s is the absolute minimum. Because you know what? That woman knows herself. She has 10 years of adult life under her belt. Late teens, early twenties, definitely not. And those are the PRIME grooming targets. Even getting into late twenties, I see it as SUPER suspect. There is a MASSIVE difference between the conversations about age-gap relationships that are involving two partners with a signif…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/21 09:21 PM
76

Honestly, that’s a great mindset. I’ve said it a lot before, but women in their late teens early twenties have to be on extra EXTRA high alert for predators, because that is the EXACT age range they look for to groom them, to eventually abuse them. It’s horrific.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/21 05:25 PM
8

Omg I am dying laughing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 07:57 PM
34

Hahahahaha. WTF. Relationships are a dictatorship involving two equally powerful dictators, not a democracy. There is no polling, no advertising, no ballots. Good god.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/21 09:16 PM
35

I sorely wish there was more of a “dumping” culture introduced earlier in my life. Feel mediocre about someone? Bye bye! Lose your attraction after he says something incredibly ignorant and stupid? Bye bye! Yes, of course it always sounds mean. But people should be learning much much earlier then they are that you can leave anyone for any reason you want, and people are allowed to leave you for any reason they want. I understand loneliness sucks, but that’s something for every individual to work…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/21 09:13 PM
12

Please make a proper post on FDS or AskFDS so the rest of us can see this, and we can help you out in any way we can
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 05:53 AM
9

Someone to stay away from definitely. The reasoning can range from the weird guilt/shame, to creating excuses ahead of time for future shitty behaviour, to straight up iamverybadass territory, but the answer remains the same, red flags no matter what.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 05:42 PM
2

Source: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/f6r5tx/aita_for_hand_making_an_engagement_ring/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 07:53 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter