“Build a man” 🤡🤡🤡

fogplum · 2021-08-22T17:10:29+00:00

This is so sad. She’s so young, she has her whole life ahead of her and she thinks it’s over.

sruslywhytho · 2021-08-22T19:30:46+00:00

“I will never be able to love like that again.” Good!!! I think most of women hit that point as a catalyst of bettering themselves and abs getting more selective with the men they share themselves with.

NotYourCirce · 2021-08-22T17:35:14+00:00

I want to know what this passive income job is that he does so little work for that he can leave for 3 weeks on vacation whenever he wants and makes 6 figures a month 😶‍🌫️

MissouriBlue · 2021-08-22T17:22:19+00:00

She is a full fledged codependent. And he used her.

I hope she gets in therapy and hopes she finds us.

MajesticSkyPachyderm · 2021-08-22T17:23:51+00:00

Making someone, anyone your "entire life and reason to live" is the dumbest thing one can do. Even your children should not be that; they'll leave you to live their own life someday. Your cup shouldn't only be filled by one thing/person, or when that source dries up, you're left with a permanently empty cup.

Edit: missing words

Renrenchi · 2021-08-22T21:17:28+00:00

Honestly as much as I make fun of pickme culture, this made me really sad. She is still very young and met him when she was only around 18-19. What she gave him was pure love only for him to use it like a parasite. I hope she gets the energy to find her purpose in life (that isn't scrote related) and becomes successful and happy on her own. Meanwhile I hope her parasite of an ex-scrote fails in everything he does because he is a disgusting piece of shit.

starfighter07 · 2021-08-22T17:11:23+00:00

And that Ladies, is why YOU level up for YOURSELF but don't cheerlead for other people.

First thing, never talk bad about yourself in front of anyone but especially in front of men. Most of them don't know empathy. I'm really shocked that she repeated to him "wow you're so cool because unlike me you know what to do with your life" hm no ? I think OP probably went throught depression or anxiety syndrom and I'm really sorry for her. But see how her LVM bf only uses her for bangmaid and bob the builder thing ? Girl, did he ever level you up ? Encourage you to take care of yourself the way you did for him ? Nah, he never. Just taking you out for nice dates isn't enough.

frostedgemstone · 2021-08-22T19:14:56+00:00

I know how common it is for women to be used/discarded or be in the shadow/background as a supporting character (both usually), but this is excessive. Shame

23eggz · 2021-08-22T18:22:07+00:00

This is exactly why I dont believe in struggle love

FuckSakez · 2021-08-22T18:49:07+00:00

This is not build a bastard. Level up for you. He is a narcissist LVM. He followed the pattern of Idealise (love bomb), devalue, discard. He doesn’t care about her love and support, only himself and the type of woman he believes his income justifies. I want to hug her and get her therapy for codependency.

Chicahua · 2021-08-22T17:06:53+00:00

Scrotes always be like “women are hypergamous and wait at the finish line” even though they would all literally dump their girlfriends who were there from the start once they’ve recovered/improved their lives and go for the girls at the finish line.

These same scrotes will turn it around and blame YOU for trying to better them: “Women don’t love men for who they are 🥺 They only see us as investments and want to change us”

Pickmes never win. Nice girls NEVER win. This is proof and proof yet again 😂 When will these girls learn huh? I can literally tell if I was friends with this girl she would call me selfish and brag about her bf 24/7 only to get played like this 💀

Wkndwhorechata · 2021-08-22T22:09:39+00:00

Imagine if she invested in anything else other than him.

herbivorouscarnivore · 2021-08-22T18:38:59+00:00

If I’m reading this correctly, it breaks down to this:

Him: My dream is to have my own business, work for myself in a field I love, and have so much discretionary income that I can travel wherever, whenever.

Her: My dream is to always be at your side!

He has his own goals. All of her goals depend on his existence.

I think a lot of us have been on the flip side: dreaming our dreams, making our plans, and our then-boyfriends are just along for the ride. It’s tiring to be the only one with ideas and aspirations. And no: he is not a “nice guy” (or in OOP’s case: “nice girl”) who is being supportive. It’s someone who is defining him- or herself solely based on who they’re dating. That’s a heavy burden.

It’s okay that she didn’t know what she wants, but she could have been figuring that out while she was cheering him on. Maybe they would have later if she had done so.

PokePrincess95 · 2021-08-22T18:59:56+00:00

Sounds like she has depression, low self esteem and codependency issues. He preyed on a mentally ill girl and threw her away when he was done using her. We gotta protect the young ones

Jandi18 · 2021-08-22T18:32:55+00:00

Why do I feel he will blow all that money real quick? He isn’t working or growing his wealth but going on massive trips 3 weeks at a time( according to her). He will blow it up and come running back. I hope she picks herself up and knows she deserves better.

Ladies work on yourself instead of building a man. Like my friend will say, "I would rather spend money on Botox than a man”. Thank God I found FDS.

sassyheather · 2021-08-22T20:19:03+00:00

Why would he do this to me.

Because he hates you 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

AbbyDean1985 · 2021-08-22T23:27:00+00:00

My husband and I do this stuff for each other. We are constantly pushing ourselves and each other to be better and do better. I refuse to put in more than my partner. I wish someone had told this poor girl that.

ComprehensiveAmoeba9 · 2021-08-22T18:40:12+00:00

This screams codependency. I hope she can learn that it is not healthy to revolve your life around a man. It looks like she started dating him when she was 18, barely an adult. Most 18 year olds don’t have a lot of life experience and if they’re not sure what they want career wise, they are not ready for a serious relationship. I certainly still had a lot of growing to do and was figuring out how to navigate life on my own when I was that age. I’m a different person now at 23 than I was at 18. It’s very common for people to grow apart a few years down the line if they get in a relationship at 18. Also if you aren’t in a good place mentally, refrain from dating! If you aren’t in a good place it makes you more vulnerable to abuse

Mango-Jello · 2021-08-22T20:41:05+00:00

That sounds so much like my story except my ex gave up on his entrepreneur dreams and ended up working at an Amazon warehouse while pursuing a photographer chick he met at a business networking meeting 😂

During the breakup we agreed (with his mother as his witness) that he owed me $4000 in business and living expenses but he never did end up paying me back, a year and a half later.

Now I just got a promotion, and am in the middle of buying my first house 🤷🏻‍♀️ dating is overrated.

Jnnjuggle32 · 2021-08-22T19:08:11+00:00

Yeah after reading the confessions of a narc in therapy and what he listed as the top 8 or so traits his partners had in common - it’s hard to read stuff like this. It’s hard to see myself in these stories. I’m 35 and absolutely love the kids I had with me ex, but it’s this exact stuff that happened to me and happens to other women endlessly.

At the very least this guy dropped his mask before he ruined her entire life; hopefully she gets help and sees that her life isn’t over and she needs to seriously level up and work on herself before she even entertains the idea of dating again. Yikes.

VgraceD · 2021-08-22T20:05:19+00:00

So I did this for my husband and this sub made me realize how much energy I put into building him up and have put aside my own value to help him see his. Luckily my husband is amazing and recognizes my complete support and effort input into his success.

Now I stay at home and just reflect on what I want to do with my life. After a year I have finally come to a place where I know what I want to do and we are working together to make that happen.

Disclaimer: my scenario is the exception and not the rule. I am amazed that I was not a victim to the “build a man” mentality. (Not because I think my husband would do that to me, but because it’s so much more common then I knew. )

I’m heart broken for this girl and wish her the best. And thank you to FDS for helping me realize I need to stand on my own two feet and need to bring as much to the table as I except him too. (For a multitude of reasons…)

I low key regret putting more energy into him then I have myself for 10+ years. 🤦🏼‍♀️

FilibusterQueen · 2021-08-22T20:45:53+00:00

My heart’s breaking for her. FDS needs to rescue her.

likearealreptile · 2021-08-23T05:19:18+00:00

she says she’ll never love like that again. with time, i hope she sees what a blessing that is.

fierce_and_mighty · 2021-08-23T03:54:26+00:00

This is incredibly sad

Vivierex · 2021-08-22T21:23:31+00:00

Awww she cheered the guy for everything and helped him get his dream job and he dumped her. Who would have expected that? ;)

Never, ever give up your whole time to other person, especially when it's helping them to grow. It's either growing together or everyone on it's own never sacrificing everything for the other. People don't easily forget who helped them and very fast find other more influential people on their way to the top.

Ironsculpture · 2021-08-22T18:31:23+00:00

It's a good thing she at least knows she's dumb, maybe she'll refrain from such stupidity going forward.

ItsFreezen · 2021-08-23T12:00:35+00:00

Imagine all that energy she devoted unto him, she could've turned into something valuable for herself.

Novemberinthechair · 2021-08-23T09:26:01+00:00

An entrepreneur? Flakey, non-reliable airhead. Is he breaking bad?

CroneRaisedMaiden · 2021-08-22T20:24:26+00:00

Is it wrong that I’m sitting here haughtily cackling while reading this? Oh it’s absolutely at her misfortune, I suppose I could have more eMpAtHy 🍿🤡. I also have disdain for him as well, 22? But we know scrotes will scrote. How can you never once think to work on your OWN happiness?

Praximaros · 2021-08-23T00:41:59+00:00

Am I the only one tired of these obviously fake stories being posted here?

Technusgirl · 2021-08-22T18:16:42+00:00

And the redpill men complain about female hypergamy 🙄 I can't begin to tell you how often I read stories like this, where a man has a super loving and supportive girlfriend and goes from nothing to successful and suddenly he dumps her like trash because now he can get a more attractive women.

excusemeILY · 2021-08-26T07:40:34+00:00

I will never ever build with a man, no matter how much the people around me advise me to.

You’re either rich or not ready to date me. Sorry, not sorry

Title	“Build a man” 🤡🤡🤡
Author	Cersei_Is_My_Queen
Upvotes	1116
Comments	94
Date	August 22, 2021 5:03 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/p9g98t/build_a_man/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/build-a-man.1060491 https://theredarchive.com/post/1060491

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