jabbo142 Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
21	New life	Rant	jabbo142	/r/Divorce_Men	08/07/25 09:19 PM
5	Trying to fit 2 families together		jabbo142	/r/Divorce_Men	01/09/25 11:47 AM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
12	Joy of a divorced man Yes, you cried. But then you rose. You rose because your kids deserve it...you deserve it. Take a little time and lick your wounds. Not too much tho, you've got a life to live.	/r/Divorce_Men	22/02/26 03:31 AM
15	Post Divorce Guilt Our situations are close. Well, minus the guilt. The ex has said a few things, but it fell on deaf ears. I have absolutely zero guilt. When married, she was sharp and mostly angry. The reason I was the way I was is from continuously being belittled and beat down by her. All of the work I put has been successful because she wasn't there to actively destroy it. Enjoy your new life guiltfree, my man. You deserve it!	/r/Divorce_Men	22/07/25 03:34 PM
6	Wife checked out 3 is how my life went. One year past the finalization, I'm seeing an amazing woman. Now the ex is "having second thoughts" about her decisions. Hahaha...too little, too late!	/r/Divorce_Men	06/07/25 11:03 AM
12	STBXW wants me to put her first Don't worry about winning her back. Just go about your life. Try to go back to the stoicism. Rebuild your life. Yourself and your child come before her now. That was her choice. It's ok to consider her feelings, etc when you're making decisions, I guess. But in the end, your life is about you now. You owe her nothing.	/r/Divorce_Men	19/06/25 11:00 AM
6	Going through it pretty bad Don't drink. I promise you, it will only make things worse.	/r/Divorce_Men	08/06/25 01:49 AM
6	Children exchange drama The only thing you control here is your reaction. Learn to turn off the emotion when you interact with her. Her main goal with the shenanigans is to elicit a negative reaction in order to use it against you. Go stoic on her, give her nothing. The self-control part will get easier with all of the practice you're about to get.	/r/Divorce_Men	18/05/25 12:33 PM
16	Hit me like a brick wall Take it easy on yourself. They tend to blow things way out of proportion to make themselves feel better about leaving a "good guy".	/r/Divorce_Men	08/05/25 10:02 AM
16	Starting over at 56 I'm 51. I'm hitting the 1 yr mark on everything. When she told me, her move out, etc. This summer will be 1 year from divorce. I haven't dated much, by choice. My home is peaceful. My life isn't chaotic anymore. I've been working on myself, finding my happiness. Life has been good. It was an adjustment, of course. But it happens pretty quickly. I went from all busted up to living a good life in a matter of months. My biggest advice to you-deal with the anger and hurt that is there. If you don't,…	/r/Divorce_Men	06/05/25 09:01 PM
3	Temporary Weekend Dad? Anything you agree to now and want to change later will cost you. The only way to change anything is to go back to court. Stick to your guns, you'll figure out how to make it work.	/r/Divorce_Men	04/05/25 12:13 PM
4	Is it feasible? Is it worth it? Wow! I have one less kid, but this is exactly my story! Crazy how many women do this between 45 and 50.	/r/Divorce_Men	27/04/25 02:23 PM
12	How do you get past the fact that your ex technically “has it easy” now… with her disregarding all of your effort, and shaping the entire situation as if she was a victim of the marriage. This is what they do. She will talk crazy shit about you. It's because she needs to justify her reasoning for leaving a good man to the rest of the world. I'm a over year post-seperation, 10 months divorced and the bullshit is just starting to let up. Don't sweat it. Do not feel like you need to defend yourself. The narrative will fall flat. Yes, some will believe her totally and be lost as a friend to you, others will come around eventually. Be careful for the 2nd kind. They can't be trusted. S…	/r/Divorce_Men	07/04/25 11:53 AM
3	How to deal with a man who is separated but cohabitating with his ex? My marriage also had some infidelity. While it was more of a symptom of a failing marriage than the reason for the failing, it sent me reeling. I was a mess, had no idea which way was up. I dated for about 5 minutes. He's scared and shaken to the core. He's nervous about what's next. Having someone in your life can feel stable. I'm sure he means everything he's saying, he's not "playing" you. He's looking to fill the hole his STBX is leaving. I'm not making excuses for him. He needs to rein hims…	/r/Divorce_Men	29/03/25 10:14 PM
5	How to deal with a man who is separated but cohabitating with his ex? This guy was me a year ago. He's completely lost. You feel good to him because it's something that's different from his marriage. I'm afraid you're nothing more than an emotional band-aid. For your own emotional well-being, you should get out of this relationship.	/r/Divorce_Men	29/03/25 09:51 PM
5	Divorced 2 years ago, still can't find new meaning in my life. Advice please It sounds like you're dealing with some pretty severe depression, if I was guessing. Have you enlisted a therapist? It was life changing for me. You're already doing all the things that are always recommended (career, exercise, etc). Don't let this drag your entire life into the crapper. Keep your head up and find some help. We can't make the journey alone.	/r/Divorce_Men	23/03/25 12:27 PM
8	To those broken by their divorce The children thing is huge, especially when a son is involved. Wr are giving them their blueprint on how to deal with the worst situation in our lives. Our response is the most important thing the kids will see. Give them a positive model to build off of.	/r/Divorce_Men	23/03/25 11:26 AM
2	Mid-20s Love Revisited: Can We Rebuild After Infidelity and Divorce? How will you feel when she's late? Will "may have had affairs" always be in the back of your mind? You're already divorced. Stay that way. See how you really feel. You could be living off of the memories and memories of old dreams. I wouldn't get back with her, but that's me. What I'm telling you is, don't rush back into things. Make sure you'reseeing things clearly. The children will not be better off if her behavior ends up being an endless cycle of cheating then asking forgiveness. Sometimes …	/r/Divorce_Men	19/03/25 10:28 AM
9	Oh gentlemen, how I hate my life As unlikely as it feels right now, you're going to be fine. It's just time and focus. The time is self-explanatory. As for the focus...this is the most important. Focus on your kid, on making money, and on yourself. Don't date for a while, any relationship right now is only a band-aid. When it ends you will be in the same spot. Take care of your head. Get therapy. You need a voice that doesnt know either one of you. Pick up a hobby(I go to jiu-jitsu). Find your happiness. The fulfillment I feel …	/r/Divorce_Men	11/03/25 11:39 AM
2	Amicable divorce after 22 year marriage with 3 kids - serious question… I got rid of them. That chapter is over.	/r/Divorce_Men	08/03/25 03:27 AM
6	Divorce is finalized today, which she instigated seven months ago, but why do I feel like shit? It's the end of those particular dreams. Especially if you have kids. That one vision we all get, growing old and watching the grandkids, was real hard to deal with for me. You'll be amazed at how quickly you feel beter.	/r/Divorce_Men	07/03/25 01:28 PM
2	It's finalized, over, done with, next chapter begins now. No more Mr nice guy, the rational male series, and the warrior poet. Some of it is repetitive between the different books,but each book was worth the read.	/r/Divorce_Men	02/03/25 07:01 PM
6	This morning I filled the dishwasher and nobody told me that I had done it wrong. I have the same threshold rule hahaha	/r/Divorce_Men	02/03/25 05:23 PM
2	It’s 5 am Once the heartbreak passes life is amazing! The storm is most definitely temporary. My biggest challenge was controlling my reactions during and immediately after said storm. But everything you mentioned, I've felt. Building myself back up, living how I choose, it's all been so great!	/r/Divorce_Men	02/03/25 12:39 PM
11	This morning I filled the dishwasher and nobody told me that I had done it wrong. Your life is about to improve 100 fold!	/r/Divorce_Men	02/03/25 12:14 PM
21	This morning I filled the dishwasher and nobody told me that I had done it wrong. I was just discussing how peaceful my house is now. It's the greatest thing ever!	/r/Divorce_Men	02/03/25 12:14 PM
2	Telling the kids - anyone have an approach that "worked" I mean, there was the neighbors alpaca...but that was just the one time. The best thing i did was stop reacting when the ex would say her little comments(obviously looking to get a reaction). Once I started that the whole thing diffused. Our divorce proceedings were amicable enough, we both had a lot to lose. It was just the personal stuff that was ugly. Oh and reddit is a total dumpster fire...but that's what keeps me coming back. Lolol	/r/Divorce_Men	01/03/25 10:03 PM
2	Telling the kids - anyone have an approach that "worked" Lolol...I have zero regrets! I did none of those things. The part about not knowing her anymore, that's as real as it gets. We get along ok now...as far as coparenting goes. Yea, I heard some crazy shit about me that I didn't even know! Thankfully, it was all so far out of character for me that nobody believed it.	/r/Divorce_Men	01/03/25 03:53 PM
2	Telling the kids - anyone have an approach that "worked" This is reminiscent of my story. The poison my ex spewed for the first 6 months was legendary! My kids are teens and her venom slowly pushed them away. The selfishness of my ex after we ended has been absolutely nuts!	/r/Divorce_Men	01/03/25 01:16 PM
1	Any good books? The Rational Male series. Like any of these books(I've listened to many)take what resonates and let go what doesn't work. There's great advice in each.	/r/Divorce_Men	15/02/25 04:30 PM
3	Wife Threatens Divorce if I Don’t Delete Pics of Scratches/Clawing I'd like to know more about this spaghetti monster	/r/Divorce_Men	08/02/25 01:18 PM
3	ADHD parent/child dynamic and lying My man, you gotta look into an annulment. Sounds like you guys moved real fast and the honeymoon is definitely over. I can't picture her coming around...she takes no responsibility for anything.	/r/Divorce_Men	06/02/25 09:17 PM
3	confusing behavior You don't want dig into this if you want the relationship. If she did, she'll say you drove her to it because of the aforementioned reasons. If she didn't you will be in trouble for trust issues. Work on you. Find your confidence. Learn to love yourself without her. Oddly, that's the only way she'll come back. If you turn back into the man she fell in love with to start. The catch is, you gotta do it for you...not for her.	/r/Divorce_Men	04/02/25 07:04 PM
2	confusing behavior This sounds like what happened to my marriage...death by 1,000 cuts. My ex also had the boundaries complaint. There was no fixing it. What I saw as small problems that were easy to fix, she saw as something more serious. She saw it all as disrespect and my not caring enough to pay attention to her needs. What it boils down to is their feelings. If a woman doesn't feel safe emotionally, then it's over. In the end, those small problems undermined her trust. Once the trust is gone, everything is mo…	/r/Divorce_Men	04/02/25 06:11 PM
2	Do you ever just randomly cry? I truly hope you are able to turn your situation around. If you can't, it's better for children to grow up in 2 happy homes rather than one angry one. They're resilient. If the worst happens, they will be ok. God bless. I wish you the best with your journey.	/r/Divorce_Men	04/02/25 10:32 AM
8	Survey: how much custody % do you have as the father? 50/50 for everything. But I don't think she wanted full custody.	/r/Divorce_Men	03/02/25 11:06 PM
3	I need some light in the tunnel There's a lot to unpack here. But the major theme seems to be self-respect. You need to find yours. And fast. Move on from her, it feels impossible right now I know. In 6 months you'll have a clearer mind and vision of what your relationship really turned into. In a year you'll be finding your happiness. Take control of your life back.	/r/Divorce_Men	03/02/25 10:57 AM
12	Wish I had a woman to love First of all, stop wishing. You probably give off an air of desperation. Get comfortable with yourself, find your own happiness that isn't connected to anyone. When you're in a good a place is when you will attract the right woman. Until then, it's just gonna be the ones that will most likely take advantage of you, like mentioned above.	/r/Divorce_Men	03/02/25 02:09 AM
8	How did you handle your ex’s birthday every year (during and after divorce). If there's no kids involved, then nothing. If there's kids it's kinda your responsibility to get something for her from them,IMO.	/r/Divorce_Men	01/02/25 01:06 PM
2	Looking for support It gets better, even tho it doesn't feel like it right now. That's what i mean when I say that it's a conscious effort. It's very easy to stay in the darkness and feel sorry for yourself. You cant allow yourself to do this. I'm 12 months from when she told me she wanted out, 6 months from when the divorce was finalized. I was exactly where you're at last winter. Now, I'm doing great. You can do whatever you want, you're free! There will be days that you feel like a million bucks and days like yo…	/r/Divorce_Men	28/01/25 07:39 PM
6	Looking for support What to expect...well, expect some darkness for a bit. You will need to force your way out of it. It needs to be a conscious decision to improve your mental state. Find a hobby. Exercise helps a lot. Focus on self-improvement, don't force a new relationship. Make sure you're healed first.	/r/Divorce_Men	28/01/25 07:18 PM
13	Does it get any better once papers are signed? Moving on starts with finding the real you. The guy you used to be before you changed your behaviors to keep her happy. We all have done that. Work on yourself, exercise. The endorphin release from the exercise will calm your mind. As long as you're feeling this way, stay away from booze. There's brighter days ahead, I promise. You just gotta get to the otherside.	/r/Divorce_Men	27/01/25 11:00 PM
8	Scared of being alone, always a relationship guy You will adjust. I'm 1 year in from when she told me she wanted out, 7 months past the divorce being final. A couple things, first...you can't give yourself to anyone else until you heal from this. 2nd, newly divorced men on dating apps can be tough. I can't tell you how many women ghosted me when they found out how fresh it all was. Don't be too hard on yourself, you got this!	/r/Divorce_Men	24/01/25 02:10 AM