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jackrusselterror1 Archive

View 4 posts and 627 comments by jackrusselterror1 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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18

I’m in the second camp definitely, train wreck is a completely accurate description of the show and I can’t quite look away. I’d never call myself a fan of the show but it is a guilty pleasure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/22 02:04 AM
2

Please send me the link!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/22 03:17 AM
14

Her laughter is contagious and she’s got great points.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/22 07:39 PM
84

Same. Men have also held me accountable for their own feelings and actions. “Like a compass needle that points north, a man's accusing finger always finds a woman.” -Khalid Hosseini
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/22 07:36 PM
11

I can’t emphasize your point enough, it’s exactly right. My abusive ex said that on one of our first dates, which was probably the first real red flag I noticed. If I would have paid attention and not continued seeing a guy who flat out told me he wasn’t good for me, I wouldn’t have been through the worst relationship of my life (eventually fled to a domestic violence shelter).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/22 07:20 AM
10

The break up itself was bad. I tried to leave eight times before it stuck (each time I tried to CoMmUnIcAtE, he’d block the door and argue and beg for hours. Eight hours was the longest. Eventually he’d wear me down and I’d agree to stay, thinking I’d sneak out the next day when he went to work, then he’d love bomb me or talk about how he’d change and I’d feel too guilty to run off). The day prior to the break up he forced himself on me, physically assaulted me, and someone in our building heard…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/22 06:20 PM
46

I see where you’re coming from but Idk. I feel like wanting the bad boy to change is a positive and well-intentioned yet still misguided fantasy, so it’s sort of weird to see it compared to actual abuse. A woman who wants the bad boy to change for her doesn’t want to break him into a submissive plaything, she wants him to decide to become the man she thinks he has the potential to be, for him to put in the hard work of leveling up, and to feel like she’s good enough for a man to change for. It’s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/22 12:53 AM
25

I agree with you. It’s not like laws or potential consequences have stopped abusive men from abusing women. The laws about assault cover both sexes, they can’t argue that women receive better treatment/assault laws are unfair to men when it’s also illegal to hit men, it’s just a dumb little display of aggression after they lost the argument. The comment they make about “so we can hit women now” is basically a threat to get women to be quiet and about control. These men are really out here saying…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 03:57 AM
9

I would say that it isn’t a red flag unless it’s accompanied by other sketchy behaviors. That being said, it your gut is telling you something is off, trust it, that’s enough of a warning sign. Here’s why I think that being vague about the end of your past relationships isn’t necessarily a bad thing. The potential positives would be that he’s respecting the privacy of the ex, and he’s focusing on moving forwards instead of the past, and probably he doesn’t want to bring up and dwell on his ex wh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 03:36 AM
61

Yep, and we have to have mods who will ruthlessly guard against male posters. Doesn’t matter how great the majority of your posters are if the mods aren’t willing to enforce women only spaces, it’s almost unbelievable how even just one frequent male poster will dramatically shift the focus of the group and how women discuss things. It’s female socialization in action. Women start using hedging words to frame and soften a statement of opinion, they take the time to validate and consider men’s opi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/22 11:27 PM
25

It was pretty horrible ngl, I have a pretty high tolerance to pain but this was way over what I should have knuckled through. My reduction was completely covered due to my diagnosis and an extensive amount of documentation done by my GP. The surgeon I chose was through a practice that had dealing with insurance down to a science, otherwise I was looking at between 8 and 12 k. The billing person even told me that my GP made their job a breeze. They used a combination of liposuction and traditiona…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/22 09:09 PM
83

I went through recovering from a breast reduction by gritting my teeth/sobbing on my bed for five days. The insurance wouldn’t cover the pain meds that were recommended after surgery because there was a cheaper pain pill that they would cover, my surgeon wouldn’t give permission for the cheaper prescription because it increased internal bleeding and bruising/wasn’t recommended post-op so it wasn’t an actual viable alternative in my case, and my entire torso was covered in deep black and blue bru…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/22 07:51 PM
18

I thought my abusive ex’s coat in a picture looked eerily similar to a Dementor’s cloak. Once I looked closer at the photo, I realized he was just wearing a normal hooded black jacket but the very dim lighting made it seem like shadows were trailing from him. My very first impression prior to looking closer was that he looked sinister and menacing, then I thought I was being both ridiculous and judgmental af. 🤡 I’m almost positive I joked about him wanting to suck out my soul/all happiness from …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/22 09:16 AM
11

Absolutely. They also would be completely outraged having the same tactics used against him: if you’ve ever wondered if he’d laugh at his own “joking insults” being applied to him, or back off if you complained about feeling blamed by him confronting you about something you did wrong, or put up with even one piece of bullshit he does to you, you don’t have to wonder, he’d know and have the words to explain why exactly the behavior was fucked up if he was the victim. He’ll call you out if you fei…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/22 12:08 AM
46

Every guy who insults a celebrity like Rihanna or Megan Fox appearance needs to put up a picture of themselves. I think I went through the Facebook comments of a few of the celebrity posts and without fail, the men who nitpicked their appearance looked closer to being Sméagol or the inspiration behind an animated movie about trolls than Chris Hemsworth. It’s like the uglier the man, the more audacity he has to whine over the internet about how no one meets his standards and pick apart every woma…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/21 07:18 PM
20

If they’re actually women, they’ve swallowed the Sex Positive flavor of Kool-Aide that third-wave feminism spouted to make feminism less threatening and more appealing to men, which ultimately is why it’s allowed to be mainstream. This is why you see self identified feminists support causes that harm women as a class yet makes the Almighty Penis happy, like legalizing the purchase of sex, promotion of prostitution as empowering and ignoring all statistics that go against the narrative (like how …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 09:40 PM
29

I did this (mirror behavior while not caring emotionally in an effort to get him to break up with me, buy his own bed, and stop being a sex pest for the duration of the lease) with an ex because I was financially screwed and couldn’t leave once the mask dropped. I was kicked out of my parents home when I was 18 and cut off financially, parents made enough that all I could get were merit/club leadership scholarships so I still needed a job so I could not starve, while maintaining Dean’s list and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 07:27 PM
11

A guy can’t be the right romantic partner for a woman if he can’t satisfy her. A lot of women know size matters for them. It seems like you’re telling the OP and other women who feel the same way to settle and lower our standards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/21 03:49 AM
27

It’s like you had my abusive ex in mind when you wrote this comment. So spot on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 06:19 PM
24

Right? When I was swallowing the CoolGirl “Casual Sex is Empowering” flavor of Kool-Aid, I wondered why it seemed like the few men I had NSA sex with pretend they were cool with the arrangement but then they’d buy flowers or arrange a date or surprise introduce me to their parents, then get angry and insecure when I didn’t react positively. As it turns out, having a woman completely dismiss the idea of a committed relationship can be an ego-crusher to certain men. They want to reject us and gate…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/21 06:09 PM
9

Absolutely agree with you. Some other lines I’ve personally noticed men use in profiles for the same tactic that you mentioned are “I want a girl who likes banter” or “I want someone who doesn’t take herself too seriously”. I dated a guy who used to say he “enjoyed roasting” and he finally said point blank that he would bring up things he disliked about me or issues he has with me then call them jokes so we wouldn’t have to discuss it, yet he’d still get to say what he wanted to say to me and hu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/21 03:38 AM
48

I cannot take a man seriously after they have an angry outburst over something minor. Also I go dry when they start complaining/whining about something that doesn’t matter. I’ve been in a relationship that became abusive and I have a very low tolerance for temper displays now, I don’t stay with men who act like this. I think these displays are both pathetic/childish and also a huge red flag for a potential abuser. The ick to me is a sudden loss of attraction that’s often mixed with deep disgust.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 07:25 PM
41

I tried to break up with my abusive ex 8 times because he’d block me from leaving and wear me down. The ninth time was what stuck and that’s because I fled to a shelter while claiming I was called into work . I called in friends to pack up my apartment while he was at work, and luckily one of them had space in their garage to store my stuff while I was transitioning from a shelter to a apartment. My landlord also was pretty amazing and when someone called the police for domestic violence after o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 09:46 PM
10

I love dipping my fries in honey mustard or tossing them in malt vinegar and sea salt if I’m frying at home. If I’m doing loaded hangover fries: steak, fried onions tomatoes and mushrooms, one or two sunny side up egg, and a cheesy béchamel sauce with some garlic in there, all over homemade fries. Mmm. Chorizo fries with pico de gallo, guacamole, sour cream, and queso are also bomb.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 11:57 PM
6

We can’t make men feel like something they aren’t, so if they don’t feel like they’re the kind of man they want to be, they need to figure out what they’re lacking and build themselves up. We shouldn’t have to make ourselves smaller so they can feel big.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 07:49 PM
29

Yep. We fall into the relationship patterns that were modeled for us at a young age if we aren’t aware and working to be different. I use family dinners as an insight into what my future might be like if we get serious. I’ve noticed that once my family members get married, even if they said they didn’t like how their in-laws treated each other, they begin to mirror either their parents or their spouses parents. Does everyone serve themselves or is it only women fixing the plates? Are both men an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 07:05 PM
95

Absolutely agree. adding on to your comment: Men who violate women’s boundaries in the bedroom also will test your boundaries in much smaller ways before anything sexual ever takes place. You do not have to be in a vulnerable or potentially dangerous situation in order to see the warning signs of a potential predator. One step in the vetting process to weed out boundary violators I like to use during the first date is saying no to something small. If he suggests outdoor seating, tell him that yo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/21 07:09 PM
7

Oh I understand where you were coming from, I’d refuse to get in too out of pride, but also because if I was in this situation, the guy had already abandoned me to the elements and I’m not giving him another chance to finish me off. That’s not how I die.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 06:48 PM
25

It wouldn’t just be humiliating, it would also potentially be life threatening to get into a locked moving vehicle under the control of a man who has already demonstrated such malicious disregard for her safety and well-being.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 06:34 PM
8

What were the green flags if you don’t mind me asking? Amsterdam is unfortunately infamous for its red light district and prostitution, so I understand that why he went off on that tangent during that conversation (I’d honestly probably say something similar in a casual conversation with friends). That was probably closer to my first example of a natural tangent vs the second example, which was an attempt to virtue signal. Potentially it could be both.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 07:13 AM
264

Don’t let men tell you how good/moral they are: focus and judge him based on his actions. Notice the patterns in his behavior. Good people don’t need to tell others that they’re good people, there’s evidence of that. Just like men who feel the need to tell you that he’s “a nice guy” are anything but, a guy who is actually against porn wouldn’t bring it up unprompted for GoodBoy points. In a conversation about, idk, a news story on human trafficking, making comment about the connection traffickin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 09:07 PM
52

I’m not disagreeing with you, just have a slight issue with the wording of your comment: I really don’t like it when people use the phrase she “is a better person than I am” when someone gives another person who doesn’t deserve it a chance, or when someone falters on their boundaries. Giving someone another chance to hurt you isn’t morally superior to protecting yourself. There’s nothing selfish or cruel about having boundaries. You also aren’t petty for wanting to defend your mother.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 01:31 AM
97

Exactly. Can’t ruin her entire life for what- twenty minutes of action? She’s a promising young athlete with her entire future ahead of her. Everyone knows that men who accuse women of theft are just too embarrassed to admit that actually they enjoyed having their possessions and money taken. Everyone knows their natural desire and role is to be a provider to women. By attempting to get back the possessions they showed off so freely, they’re refusing to be accountable for their own mistakes. If …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 09:13 PM
3

I agree with you. When I was in the fog of my abusive relationship, before I finally understood how much that man hated me and before I had a wake up call that led to me fleeing to a domestic violence shelter, I’d have defended that man and claimed to you that while, sure, the red flags looked bad, but you don’t know that man or what he’s been through. Looking back, even during the first three months, there were very obvious moments where his mask slipped that I gave him a second chance over and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 12:33 AM
56

Nope. I don’t consider telling the truth to be man hate. It’s funny how they claim to be “the logical sex” but get their boxers in a twist over things like statistics on crime, domestic violence, and rape. Women are gathering together and discussing the shit they pull on the internet, and how we aren’t going to take it. If men wanted us to say nice things about them they should work on being worth a compliment. I don’t lie about my life experiences.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 01:38 AM
168

That it isn’t heartless to drop him at the first red flag. That dating should be fun. That focusing on what I get from a relationship isn’t selfish, it’s smart. No one should have a partner who makes your life worse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 08:14 PM
143

I immediately assumed he was a cheater or porn addict and projecting like crazy, maybe a junkie with his drug of choice hidden somewhere in that bathroom. At bare minimum he’s intentionally crossing her boundaries, which is obviously abusive. This was one of the signs my cheater porn addict abusive ex displayed. Cheaters aren’t nearly as great at pretending everything is peachy as they claim on adultery subreddits. They need to communicate with their affair partner somehow, and that way is norma…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 10:44 PM
28

Hit dogs holler.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 08:21 PM
18

There’s a few reasons some women will happily and knowingly play the other woman. You can see this in the post history of frequent posters in adultery subreddits. It’s usually some kind of combination of: They want to prove that they’re so special/sexy that married men will find them irresistible and leave their families to be with them. They specifically want to prove they’re better than the married man’s wife by being able to steal him: it’s a competition to them. She may or may not actually w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/21 07:11 PM
98

Good point. Men complain about female only cars on trains too. Same with female only gyms, and unisex gyms with an hour a week for exclusively women. For every woman’s only gym, there’s at least 50 allegedly unisex gyms that are so hostile to women they might as well have a “He-Man Woman Haters Club” sign posted outside the door. They understand what women are trying to avoid, they just don’t care about us. The point of their behavior is to make us feel unsafe so we avoid public places completel…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 12:46 AM
15

Yep, communicate/maybe he didn’t know is another form of “never attribute to malice that which can adequately be explained by stupidity” which is a Predditor’s go-to way of gaslighting women. I guarantee he isn’t nearly as stupid as he pretends to be. There aren’t any magic combination of words to make him understand because he knows exactly what he’s doing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/21 10:06 PM
30

I’m betting that the loss of sexual attraction and libido in long term relationships on the woman’s side has a lot to do with heterosexual women doing the lion’s share of housework, the bulk of child raising, working full time, paying half the bills, and experiencing the orgasm gap, and less to do with the length of the relationship or lack of novelty. If men were actual caring partners who pulled their weight and put effort into continuously romancing their wives, I doubt the results would be t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/21 03:58 PM
61

Also honestly, I highly doubt he’s some statuesque example of fitness and manliness, yet I doubt his wife complains on Reddit about his receding hairline, soft jawline, lack of muscles, and oversized body. So many men are punching well above their level with their partners, yet they want to complain about the expected, natural result of childbirth changing the body of the woman they’re with. Kyle, you have 3-10 percent higher of a metabolism than women, your body doesn’t naturally hang onto and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 06:58 PM
99

He definitely thought she was. He’s way too goddamn old to be this ignorant about women. Honestly what is even the point of him being a straight man if he’s grossed out with a woman’s body a week every month? He’s defective, she should throw him out and replace him with an upgraded model with a brain.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 05:40 AM
29

That was a smart way to handle that. You let him dig his own hole by having him explain his reasoning behind that comment. To clarify, I thought it was your ex was complaining that he felt emasculated because you were the higher earner (good work by the way!) in your relationship, not your father who said that on behalf of your ex, so my comeback didn’t really apply in that scenario. He absolutely should have had your back and been proud that you’re successful in your career, not try to claim it…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 11:31 PM
249

My favorite response to that is: “I can’t make you feel like something you aren’t.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 06:01 PM
121

A high partner count is a dealbreaker to me, especially if he enjoyed casual, participated in ONS and threesomes, and/or had a fuccboi phase. Porn usage, cheating, dabbling in polyamory, BDSM, and kink are also dealbreakers. I believe in looking at men’s pasts and listening, because history will repeat itself. Men don’t change that much unless The behavior has had serious detrimental affects that he recognizes as direct consequences because of his actions. Ex: lost his job because he had an affa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 11:43 PM
16

If I don’t or can’t walk away in the moment (ex: if a coworker says something backhanded to me), I normally respond with something like “wow you actually said that out loud? How embarrassing.” Or: “what an impolite thing to say to someone.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/21 10:30 PM
13

Exactly. “I just want to have fun. I don’t actually want a relationship with him, I just want a friend with benefits.” says the Coolgirl SexPosi PickMe who cries into her pillow at night, who spends hours dissecting what he means by his text style, who spends friendship get togethers giving a play by play of every interaction she has with him, who never actually orgasms yet drops everything to deliver herself to his couch in lingerie whenever he sends a half assed text. I always just want to ask…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 10:54 PM
62

Has he seen men? Really it’s not that hard to reject them, 97% of them aren’t worth it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 09:01 PM
63

If you use a different symbol instead of @ to blur out words, you won’t accidentally create a mailto link (the blue words). The reason it created a mailto link on r#pe-lationship yet didn’t with r#pe also probably has to do with the presence of the hyphen, which is commonly used in email addresses. If you used an underscore or period instead to connect the two words, you might still run into the same problem if you keep using the @ sign. Btw i agree with your comment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 04:37 PM
25

They’d call her petty for reversing the situation and malicious because she knew it would hurt him before she did it. They’re committed to playing the victim and not understanding women’s legitimate feelings. source, past relationship with a porn addict, I decided to turn the tables on him before leaving after many, many attempts to talk out the porn issue and communicate how much it hurt me. I created an image board of incredibly fit men in very little clothing and started scrolling through it …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 12:28 AM
15

I have a really obvious pair of headphones I use without any volume on in public so I can signal I’m not interested in a conversation, yet still be completely aware of my surroundings. Earbuds don’t deter men in my area and they’ll still bother me with or without them in, but bulky headphones have been more successful in warding away unwanted conversations.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 06:29 PM
16

I mean I wouldn’t call being able to eat spicy food a skill per se (more like an acquired taste), but there was this guy I went out for a first date with who tried to impress me by ordering spicy food at an Indian restaurant and requesting it spicier as some sort of masculine macho display. He was crying through eating the food, red faced and sweating heavily, so he didn’t really achieve the look he was going for. I’m still not quite sure how that was meant to impress me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 09:11 PM
19

Your ex sounds like a real life Disney villain. Did he sympathize with Gaston in Beauty and the Beast?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 11:05 PM
11

I agree. When I discuss my abusive ex, I normally point out that I was in regular contact with a domestic violence shelter that didn’t have enough beds and wouldn’t let me in unless he was actively threatening my life, and I was in a seriously dire financial state with no real support system, so I couldn’t get out at that point. I point out that there were a million red flags before I moved in with him and before he laid a hand on me, yet I ignored the signs and went ahead, which is where I went…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 06:26 PM
3

I’m glad your friend got a good kick in. That was a garbage move by that guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 07:12 AM
4

I agree. I love hiking but it’s not at all suitable for a date, even when you ignore that you’re in an isolated area with a guy you don’t know that well, with potentially no one around to hear or witness anything that goes wrong. A good first date idea shouldn’t resemble a slasher movie scenario. Next men are going to try and get us to explore an abandoned insane asylum on dates.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 12:28 AM
12

I personally don’t date men with children either because of the amount of vetting involved and labor expected from me, but the person I was replying to was pointing out that women in their forties don’t always have the option to rule out men with children or they’re intentionally looking for a man with children to blend their families, so I tried to give practical advice for that situation. I’m assuming the person I was originally replying to is open to dating single dads, is okay with potential…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 07:34 PM
22

She didn’t say that everyone should avoid dating single dads. She said that those women who want to avoid dating single dads aren’t being selfish to do so and gave examples of some LV behavior single dads display to look out for. You can use the examples, like forcing you into the caregiving role too soon, trying to get you to meet the kids too early, trying to rush the relationship prematurely, bad boundaries with the ex; as warning signs to look out for if you decide to date men with children.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 07:13 PM
20

It looks gorgeous just by the photos, I can see why you’d be so happy with that purchase. I’ve found things I liked on there but hesitated to make a purchase. I might make the leap though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 10:17 PM
21

Any chance of a link to where you got a red velvet couch? That sounds amazing and I need a statement piece for my living room.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 09:55 PM
35

All advice given here is supposed to be taken with the idea of continuously vetting, and most advice isn’t meant as stand-alone advice, it’s supposed to build off the handbook. Of course asking a woman out isn’t enough to declare him a HVM, but it’s one indicator of his interest and effort, and we shouldn’t date anyone who can’t meet that basic step. The fuckbois and players who hit on every woman with two legs will make themselves known by leering on a date, triangulating with other women, tryi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 03:45 AM
9

I’m honestly surprised he typed all of that up, knowing that he is exactly the type of man I’m trying to warn other women against dating, knowing that he had abused his wife, and thought that what he had to say was actually going to win the argument. I’m not going to change my opinion and advice so that way the abuser benefits, that’s crazy. I’ll be happy dating men who treat me well consistently, there’s no need to entertain and forgive men who hurt me, and the only men who benefit from constan…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 12:16 AM
19

Yep. On my last post, I talked about how intentions don’t matter if a behavior is harmful, he still hurt you, and that searching for the underlying reasons can be a trap women can fall into that justifies staying in a relationship and trying to fix him. I said the most beneficial advice for a woman is to walk away when they’re harmed and assume malice rather than ignorance, and not to get tangled up in finding ways to communicate or hope he can change. A scrote messaged me saying that he wouldn’…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 11:48 PM
3

A lot of the men who lie about their size know full well that they’re lying because when it’s time to reveal their little surprise, it’s likely you’ll both be naked and he’s hoping it’ll be too awkward for you to reject him at that point, which makes him a predator. If he actually thought size didn’t matter or that most women would be satisfied with it, he wouldn’t mention the size of his penis at all, let alone lie about it. This has happened twice to me. The first time I said that he wasn’t a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 10:58 AM
9

Along the lines of what you said: there’s a joke by Christopher Titus that I’m probably butchering that if you date someone, and their family is nuts, and you think “oh that’s okay, they’re the good one”, all too often they aren’t, they’re like a psycho Tylenol gelcap, tick tick tick tick, crazy is coming it’s just on a delayed release. Also a lot of the time, even with a good partner, you still have to deal with the crazy family and it’s not worth it Go no contact, deal with an extinction burst…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 10:10 AM
1

Agreed, vetting constantly is important because men can hide who they really are at first. That is pretty much a given for all discussions here on green flags.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 08:32 AM
6

Which is funny in a sad, if I don’t laugh I’ll cry sort of way because I gave the unattractive nerd a chance and he repeatedly raped and abused me, yet the two most attractive and fit men I’ve ever dated treated me like gold. The idea that ugly men automatically have hearts of gold and treat women kindly while fit heartthrobs are all evil assholes is bullshit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 09:15 PM
9

Adding to your point- “He’s nice” is what you say about a guy when you have absolutely nothing else positive to say about him, it’s usually a polite but empty comment. It’s not even true, if he’s actually nice no one needs to tell you, because he’s, idk, out there getting items off the shelf for elderly men and women, volunteering in his community, helping his family and friends out when they move, mowing the lawn for his disabled neighbors, raising money during walks for cures, no one has a leg…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 09:08 PM
37

I’ll never get over how surprised and outraged some men get when they realize that woman are attracted to attractive men. I’ll repeat for emphasis: they’re surprised that women are ATTRACTed to ATTRACTive men. For as much as they bleat about logic and reasoning, they really seem to struggle with it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 04:50 PM
8

You’re going to need more advanced equipment, the bar was last located somewhere in the depths of Hell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 10:07 PM
266

Exactly. Baby girls don’t burst out of the womb wielding a cast iron skillet, with an in depth understanding of flavor profiles, and a mastery of knife techniques. Cooking is a skill, it takes practice to do well at, but cooking at a basic level is achievable for all able bodied and minded adults. Men need to use the Internet for things other than porn, there’s so many recipes and cooking tutorials out there, there’s no excuse to not be able to feed yourself. I’m constantly amazed at how stupid …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 08:06 AM
22

Same. I don’t share food, even leftovers, and I slap hands as a reflex when they go near my plate. Unless I get just soup, I always take half my food home. I hate it when men reach for my plate while I’m waiting for a to-go container bag, that’s my lunch for the next day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 10:49 PM
59

Sounds familiar, I’m sorry you’ve gone through that. My abusive ex used to pinch my inner thighs and ask when I’d lose enough weight so that they wouldn’t touch. Thigh gaps aren’t possible with my bone structure, and I was at a healthy weight while dating him. Meanwhile I could fit two of me into his jeans. I tried to communicate with him that I hated how he talked to me, that he can’t pinch me, that he was hurting me, and eventually after he did that one too many times, I squeezed his man-tits …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 07:46 PM
55

Agreed, he was being completely condescending when he reduced her thought process down to the “ooh shiny” comment, you can feel the contempt he has for her in that comment. Even so, I’m baffled that he thinks there needs to be some kind of deeper thought process and long term planning for piercings. There’s no deeper meaning behind my piercings than “ooh shiny”, I saw them, I wanted them, I walked into a piercing place, I got them. They aren’t like tattoos, you can just take them out if you don’…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 04:37 PM
32

He probably thinks if it wasn’t discussed in depth with him and if he didn’t give his final stamp of approval, that it was an impulse, because he just can’t fathom that his opinion and validation isn’t the most important thing to his girlfriend and that she doesn’t consider him as an authority over her. Behold the self-centered attitude of a scrote.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 04:28 PM
16

I didn’t keep my cool tbh. I was texting my friends a play-by-play the entire time (I wanted my meal, it was right after work and I was starving, every other restaurant nearby had an hour wait without reservations, it was funny-bad not terrible-bad for a date, and it was free live entertainment so… I stayed lol). I was blushing out of embarrassment when I wasn’t cringing. He was oblivious. It was like shame and embarrassment didn’t exist for him. It’s not like I’m inherently against comfort food…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 10:13 PM
60

Which is ridiculous of them, because it’s not like laws have ever stopped abusive men before.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 07:38 PM
50

I don’t date picky eaters. I eventually want to have kids, and it’s hard to convince children to try food that their dad turns his nose up at, so it’s a dealbreaker. I once went on a date with a guy who considered basic spaghetti sauce to be spicy and who made a customized order off the children’s menu at an Italian restaurant he picked out. Watching him frown at the entire menu, make a big ordeal about how old you have to be to order off the children’s menu, convincing the waiter that he’d pay …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 06:23 PM
10

I’m doing way, way better than before, thank you for asking. I think I needed the wake up call and I wouldn’t have learned my lesson until I experienced that absolute dumpster fire of a relationship, if I’m being completely honest. I was repeating the same patterns of behavior over and over with the men I dated, I hadn’t learned anything from the first two bad yet not actually abusive relationships, and it had to be that bad for me to see that I wasn’t the problem. It’s hard to feel like I could…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 06:55 PM
39

Same, I have also dated a man I wasn’t remotely attracted to. In the beginning he also said repeatedly I was way too good for him and out of his league. I ended up in a domestic violence shelter. I absolutely should have listened when he said that I could do better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 04:43 AM
21

Great points! I’ve used the technique you mentioned in the last paragraph to vet female friends too. Anyone who isn’t happy for me about my achievements and tries to tear me down when I express that I’m happy is a jealous, competitive, LV person that I don’t need in my life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/21 06:49 PM
28

Great. I’m going kayaking with some friends, then we’re having a cookout- shrimp kabobs and steak. Hope everyone else is having a good time too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 08:35 PM
23

Yep. If they’re not aiming for a subreddit to be banned entirely, they make female centered subreddits unusable for women and are pretty openly hostile towards women in general subreddits so they might as well have a “men only” sign attached (ex: “sighs, unzips”, “links for science” on true crime subreddits, posting playboy centerfolds and the most objectified images of actresses and models possible on vintage subreddit, “not my proudest fap” to cute animal pictures, allowing slurs to be used ag…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 04:15 PM
28

Thanks for reminding me that I am attracted to men, lol. TGIF 😍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 04:07 PM
12

Basically. You smile, thank him for taking you to dinner, and wait until he grabs the bill. You always want to bring enough cash to cover plus a tip or a card just in case he decides to split it. If he tells the waiter to split the bill or expects you to, you pay for your own meal, then leave and promptly block and delete, because if he’s not interested enough to bother covering $20-$30 of a meal, he’s not that invested. That takes him out of the running. You’re looking for a guy who is “hell ye…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 04:06 PM
48

I agree. There’s nothing healthy about FWB relationships, it seems like one person always catches feelings while the other isn’t interested. I’ve got a particularly bad experience with a FWB that turned me off of ever casually seeing anyone well before finding FDS. After a pretty bad relationship, I looked for a rebound confidence boost and was very bluntly honest about only being interested in sex with him, I wanted absolutely nothing else from him, I wasn’t in a place for a relationship at the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 06:21 PM
1

Oh I wasn’t saying I think that all of the people who hate FDS and rant about it are men LARPing, I just always have the hope that they are. I know pick me’s exist, I just find it sadder when women spend the energy fighting us on men’s behalf and call for us to lower our standards versus a man feeling personally called out because he knows women here wouldn’t look twice at him. I feel more betrayed when women do it honestly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 10:51 PM
29

The flair guide is also right next to the handbook (fyi if anyone hasn’t found it: go to the FDS subreddit, then to community info, then FDS Wiki, then find and click on Flair Guide. It is literally one line away from the Handbook), so if I see someone complain about having a “throwaway account” flair when their account isn’t a throwaway, ask for a flair upgrade, or question how flair works, they almost certainly haven’t read the handbook. Reminder that the handbook is required reading to partic…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 04:22 AM
17

I know what you mean. I had the same problem with men matching with me and pursuing me who had a completely incompatible view on children, except I’d like to be a mother and the men were childfree. A lot of men just don’t take women’s opinions and beliefs seriously. I would like to date a man who also wanted children in the near future (3 years roughly), yet childfree men would match with me. Their profiles would not answer any of the questions related to children on OKCupid, so our overall matc…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 06:36 PM
42

This is my favorite response to that question.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 06:11 PM
40

Even at my most pick me, I assumed he was a cheater if he was trying to get my phone number/email or move the chat off OLD apps too quickly, so I’d block as soon as they tried this. There’s a community for cheaters on Reddit that recommend doing this, it’s a pick up artist tactic, redpill men will try it. It’s so he can hide dating app notifications from his wife. I especially am wary if he wants to friend me on social media- um dude, newsflash, we aren’t friends and haven’t met, why are you pus…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 12:46 PM
84

Yes! Pagan men who are also into “witchy”* things are full of red flags. I’m not a believer in any of it but a few of my friends dabble in mysticism/the occult for fun, especially in groups, and they leave groups when they start letting men in because they take over the group and change the dynamics. Plus they always try to get it on with multiple women in the group, it’s like they watched a few too many cult documentaries and decided that was their goal in life. At best the group ousts the guy …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/21 12:53 AM
7

That was definitely a concern I had that I’m glad you cleared up. Personally I really needed both FDS and a long break from dating to figure out how to handle dating in a way that maximized my benefit and prioritized me instead of male feelings. I didn’t want to accidentally break any rules by recommending the same thing I did, but I really don’t think I would have really comprehended the handbook until I stepped away from dating and took a hard look at what I was doing and how little it was act…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 05:36 AM
2

Still, I’m sorry for jumping down your throat, which is why I deleted one of my replies to you when I realized we were having two completely different discussions. It was uncalled for.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 04:45 AM
1

I think we’ve had a miscommunication. I thought you were arguing against the first comment, which in the first sentence pointed out that misandrists aren’t committing violence in mass like misogynists do, and that misogyny and misandry aren’t the same because usually women aren’t violent. If the only thing you are saying is that women commit crimes too and need to be held accountable, I’m not and wasn’t arguing otherwise. I don’t think anyone actually believes women don’t commit crimes. I’m pret…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 04:19 AM
1

I think his thought process began and ended with “boobs.” There’s no logic to follow, lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 02:04 AM
38

Ugly men will try to tear confident women down so they don’t realize that they could do better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 01:11 AM
16

When I date other women we alternate who gets the check, and whoever’s turn it is to be treated gets the other a little gift. As an example, I dated a self-proclaimed coffee addict, so I’d buy coffee flavored chocolate bars, a mug and a gift card to her favorite cafe, different blends of beans, and make mini desserts that had coffee as an ingredient for her on the dates she’d pick up the dinner check. She’d get me a hardcover book because I’m really into reading, blankets (I never have enough bl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 12:25 AM
2

Oh okay that makes sense! Thanks for elaborating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 10:42 PM
0

I’m not sure what you mean, could you clarify? I was talking about cheaters, but I think you might be discussing a different dynamic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 10:16 PM
44

Exactly. I’m not religious at all, but Jesus said “If your eye causes you to stumble, pluck it out and throw it from you” about looking lustfully at a woman (Matthew 18:9). So I’m pretty sure Jesus would not approve of porn. Jesus also wasn’t afraid to flip some tables and chase people with whips to get them to follow basic teachings and to show respect. Jesus would probably be straight up calling for castrating and blinding some of these men because they keep claiming their dicks and eyes led t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 05:36 PM
10

Men also LARP as women on the Internet so as always I’m hoping there’s more raging men typing impotently than wannabe cool girls begging to get male validation and picked by a Redditor. Mostly because who actually wants the validation and respect of the average male on Reddit?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 03:16 PM
17

Yes! It’s like when the other woman wins the pick me dance and receives the prize of a cheating male partner. At first she’s smug and superior because she thinks it means she’s the better woman, and of course she wouldn’t get cheated on, right? Then he gets distant, hides his phone, works late more frequently or has a business trip, starts a fight, makes a new female friend, talks about a woman frequently who he can’t stand… but she thought she was special and they were in love, how could the ch…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 03:04 PM
3

Why are we going “well actually women commit crimes too” and pointing out extreme outliers when we know men commit 97% of rape and 91% of violent crime? You know men aren’t changing their habits in mass numbers because they’re afraid to walk alone without being harassed and sexually assaulted by a strange woman at night. That tiny percentage of women who do deranged shit don’t have a police system that backs them up in domestic violence cases because they also hit their husband, or female judges…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 02:54 PM
96

FDS: Don’t date men who you aren’t attracted to. Men: GeNoCiDe! This is a hate subreddit! You’ll die alone surrounded by cats! Nazi! Femcel! Also men: I want a woman with a big booty and itty bitty waist, no fat anywhere else or stretch marks, breasts that are natural and big but also defy gravity, long thick hair, amazing skin, wears the perfect amount of makeup, will look 25 no matter how old she gets, a perfect face, dresses nicely. Also low maintenance, bubbly, always smiling, doesn’t know s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 11:48 PM
16

Exactly. If you have to chase him you’ll never actually have him. If he was interested he’d pursue.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 11:30 PM
9

Yes exactly! I already built me, and there’s an IKEA nearby if I want a project. Build a bookshelf not a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 11:28 PM
14

Facebook comments are just as bad too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 11:25 PM
8

I really hope that post was a male LARPing trying to convince other women to have the same priorities. If not she will regret that decision so much. I wouldn’t drop my career for my husband, let alone a boyfriend I barely spend time with. I’m very against long distance because you’re even less likely to actually get to know the person you’re with while you’re bonding through low effort things like texting. When you do get together it’s only for short periods so it’s easier for men to keep a mask…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 10:21 PM
111

There’s literally an entire spin off subreddit just for leveling up, even if they ignore all the advice on the main subreddit and talk about goals and personal achievements. It’s sort of amazing how committed they are to missing the point of everything we post. Reddit has made me way more aware of how many people don’t read anything for themselves yet have very strong opinions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 09:54 PM
13

Believe it or not, I have never figured boobs were the solution to any problem or produced genius insights. I guess I haven’t been problem solving correctly or womaning right. Thank god for OPs second friend to explain what to do about confusion to us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 06:43 PM
24

Exactly. This has never happened, not once. This is not a thing that happens in real life. This is a porn-inspired fantasy. I have never been confused and thought “you know what would clear things up? Stripping off my top and flashing a guy who never indicated he’d be interested.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 06:00 PM
21

Even couple friends can be dangerous. I’ve lost multiple friendships because men who I only really tolerated because they were dating a friend decided to try and pursue me while dating their partner, I reported the attempted cheating/sexual harassment to her with text evidence, and she stayed with him. Generally when you date someone, his already established friend group will most likely stop talking to you after a break up out of loyalty and introducing him to your friends can make it pretty aw…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 05:57 PM
27

Exactly. I’m just going to drop this link here that reinforces what you said: https://theweek.com/articles/737056/myth-male-bumbler
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 05:53 PM
17

People take criticism of their favorite celebrity so personally, so I was anticipating at least a few “how dare you” comments, just not over John Mayer, lmao. I pointed out that Depp lost his libel suit against The Sun for calling him a wife beater because the allegations were ruled to be “substantially true” and RIP my inbox (I didn’t mention him in the previous comment because I didn’t want more drama, but screw it, he sucks too). I’ve read the publicly available documents, I’m not going to ch…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 04:04 PM
1

Addressing your first paragraph: The point of my post was that it doesn’t matter why he’s done what he’s done, and playing detective to discover the hidden object reasons he is capable of harming you is far less important than getting away from someone who harms you. The post is mostly about abusive and harmful behavior, and if someone’s actions are abusive and harmful I don’t particularly care about their horrible childhood, it’s above all of our paygrades. A lot of women will try to use the de…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 03:06 PM
14

Really? Do we need to insult women with children in such a disgusting and women-hating way? It’s pretty gross and uncalled for to reduce and sexualize motherhood like that. “I got some jizz in me?” Why aren’t you calling out the husband and father too? The post said it was a couple that got the house OP hoped for. Why are you just mocking the woman? OP I wish you luck in your house search, you’re doing amazing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 07:35 AM
203

Exactly! Let's list all the rich and successful men we've pointed out on FDS are low/no value. Off the top of my head, in no particular order (please add if I missed any) Leonardo DiCaprio for always going after under 25 year old models. God did he go downhill looks wise Elon Musk for being a blight on humanity. Seriously it’ll take pages to rehash his issues. Bill Gates for being a gross cheater and terrible person. Mark Zuckerburg for being a creep who created Facebook as a Hot or Not thing. D…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 01:27 AM
21

While we’re doing book recommendations, The Sociopath Next Door by Martha Stout is a good choice that I don’t think I’ve seen recommended here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 06:35 AM
20

Exactly. Also if he tells you early on about his harsh childhood, traumas, addictions, cheating exes, etc, it’s to gain sympathy so you won’t be as quick to leave when his mask starts slipping. “I am sure that if the devil existed, he would want people to feel quite sorry for him.” - Martha Stout, author of The Sociopath Next Door. “If, instead, you find yourself often pitying someone who consistently hurts you or other people, and who actively campaigns for your sympathy, the chances are close …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 06:29 AM
56

I wish FDS or another likeminded community was around when I was a teen. I wish I had more exposure to radical feminism early on because most of the things I read on here or by radical feminists I could have used before dating. It would have saved me so much pain, tears, and heartbreak. I’m sort of glad my post had that kind of impact with you, but I’m mostly sad that others went through similar things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 05:14 AM
37

Yep, good reminder. I wasn’t intending to blame the mother in my response, I was trying to point out that hand holding men through life lessons sounds more like something we’d expect a mother to do for her underage child than in a romantic relationship, and it’s ridiculous for grown men to expect that kind of treatment and nurturing from their girlfriends. Women aren’t unpaid teachers, cheerleaders, life coaches, therapists, nannies, sex workers, maids, chefs, etc for men who refuse to act right…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 05:07 AM
30

I’m a huge Chump Lady fan, I’ve lurked on her blog for longer than I care to admit, so I’m not surprised that I accidentally borrowed some of her wording. Whoops! I honestly thought someone from FDS used the “trust he sucks” phrase. The Untangling the Skein post was actually some of the inspiration behind this post. https://www.chumplady.com/2012/06/untangling-the-skein-of-fuckupedness/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 02:16 AM
71

I’m not sure if there’s actually anything a man can do that a male Reddit commenter will not try to justify or blame on a miscommunication error (that the women must fix and was at fault for) or stupidity. The communicate advice is just another way to load all the labor on women and get them to dance harder to keep the relationship with someone who just doesn’t care the same way she does.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 02:10 AM
17

I’m both glad that I wrote this and deeply sorry this post spoke to you. Do you have an exit plan worked out? Any friends or family who are supportive of you that you could potentially reach out to?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 01:48 AM
131

Exactly. Ideally we wouldn't stick around after seeing a red flag behavior to figure out if the hypothetical male has been raised by wolves and thus is ignorant of all social norms, or if he is intentionally trying to see if we'll put up with abuse. That's why the answer as to "why does he do that" doesn't matter, we won't find the answer. All of the men I've rejected for being inconsiderate or rude could have, theoretically, been incredibly stupid and oblivious instead of outright malicious, bu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 11:56 PM
11

Umm… straight men aren’t sexually attracted to other men, especially to the point where they think only men can fulfill their sexual needs. Those Hollywood power players are at the very least bisexual, even if they’re claiming to be straight. They might have internalized biphobia or homophobia, they might be completely in denial, they might only want casual sex with men, whatever, but claiming to be straight after having gay sex and getting off sounds like a bad joke off a sitcom.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 06:54 PM
146

I have finally found an animal I relate to. It’s this specific tiger shark.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 10:20 PM
16

Exactly, thank you. My five year old godchild can assist in the kitchen with supervision. I wouldn’t put her in charge of the oven or stove or give her a knife, obviously, but she’s made meatballs, homemade pizza, and sourdough bread with my help. She loves kneading dough like a cat. She feels accomplished and proud of the end result. It’s one of her favorite parts about being babysat by me. How on earth can a grown ass man say he can’t do what my five year old goddaughter can do and feel anythi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 09:22 PM
13

I just ordered a swim dress and leggings set from Modli after seeing your comment. Thanks, I’m so excited to get them!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 02:30 AM
9

The rate of men who married to get a mommychefmcbangmaid is higher if we count the infidelity stats for husbands of cancer patients. Some men won’t leave their wives because they realize how bad it’ll look, but they’ll start affairs, disengage in their relationship, and start/ramp up abusive and neglectful behavior. It’s so sad
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 06:36 PM
51

I had to drop everything and listen to this episode as soon as I got the notification. I am so impressed by the women in this podcast. Seriously, Gail Dines? She’s one of my heroes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 07:53 PM
30

Right? I look like a disaster when I hike, and the smell is even worse. OP if you’re wearing make up you’re a million times more put together than anyone else on a trail. I pin my hair up in braids which is not a particularly good look for me btw. other women can pull it off but I look like I’m auditioning for the role of an extra peasant farmer in some medieval B movie. My hair is also probably drenched in sweat. No make up. Mosquitoes are fierce here so I’m slathered in deep woods bug spray, p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 04:55 PM
56

They know what consent is. Playing stupid just is advantageous to them. It’s safer for us to assume they absolutely know what they’re doing, they’re smarter than we think they are, they meant it, they enjoyed it, and they’ll do it again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 01:57 PM
8

Was it this one that took place in Ireland: https://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-46207304 Or in Peru https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8914001/Peru-judges-rule-rape-case-womans-red-underwear-signalled-willing-sex.html Both of the cases have been mentioned on feminist websites.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 01:11 AM
18

Definitely, same. I have insomnia so my definition of good sleep is still awful, but I stopped getting night terrors after I dropped my abusive ex. I also enjoy sleeping alone even when I’m dating a guy I like. Cuddling before bed is fine but I’d like to retreat to my own bedroom after. Also my skin cleared up (I never had bad acne until that relationship), I lost the extra weight, my hair stopped shedding as much and got shinier, and my neck muscles relaxed enough that the masseuse mentioned I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 01:05 AM
22

For a dumb statement (I never got apologies, just a mantrum after these tactics didn’t work): “Why do you always have to start shit?” Or “why do you always have to fight and argue, does it make you happy? What do you get from this?” Or “why can’t you be happy?” Deny culpability, Attack, reverse victim and offender (DARVO). The tactic is meant to get me to defend myself or try to understand why he thinks that, instead of address my concerns. All of these statements imply that even communicating w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 08:26 PM
11

There are other ways to tell if a prospective date is pornsick or biphobic that won’t potentially expose you to biphobia. He’d also be able to anticipate how you’d react to homophobic or biphobic comments if you tell him early into seeing him, which makes it easier for him to be able to hide red flags and reactions he wouldn’t necessarily be thinking about hiding with a straight woman. I’d recommend using other vetting strategies instead of telling personal information, especially when just gett…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 01:06 AM
10

I’ve never understood why some people will agree with the message but then call you harsh for the way you said it. You were direct and clear, and this isn’t the first time a stance like yours has been posted here. Tone policing is a derailment tactic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 06:49 PM
47

I personally enjoyed Right Wing Women and Woman Hating the most but anything by Andrea Dworkin is absolutely worth the read. She was so intelligent and insightful
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 04:41 PM
39

Scream actually fits this quite well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 03:23 PM
66

He wants a girl who can take a “joke” but he’ll cry if she returns an insult, and claim she wasn’t joking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 10:14 PM
38

Yep. I stopped wearing a lot of my nice dresses because my ex never dressed up no matter where we went and always had something shitty to say when I put in effort. Since leaving him I wear nice dresses, jumpsuits, and rompers whenever I can, even if it’s just at home. When I was younger I tried relaxing my hair. That was definitely not for me, that was to fit in with popular beauty standards, and I hated it so I’ve been natural since.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 06:26 PM
24

Yep. Rodney Alcala, the serial killer, also carried around a nice camera and took photographs of young women. He likely has far more victims than we know, since many of his photographs have subjects who were never identified, and used this tactic to isolate his victims. Man with a camera taking pictures is an extremely common ruse, like you said. Best case scenario, he’s a creep with a camera, worst case scenario, he’s a predator on the prowl.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 03:33 PM
6

Yes there is at least one male mod, that subreddit has catered to men for years now and might as well be renamed. Men like LARPING as women on Reddit, men enjoy taking over female-only spaces and centering feminist conversations on what makes their penis hard, and Reddit likes letting men get away with it in the name of inclusion because the real evil is apparently women wanting to only interact with each other. Lovely how they allowed pedophile subreddits for years until a news article exposed …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 03:19 PM
42

Yep. Even at my most pick me, I’ve always been a stickler for punctuality. It’s extremely disrespectful to leave someone hanging when you’ve made plans. If I could make it to a restaurant 15 minutes in advance while relying on a bus system in an area known for a shitty metro, with ADD, I expect everyone else to be able to manage their shit too. I cancel the table we were supposed to have and hit a different restaurant at the five minute mark. I don’t text or call, that was their job when they ra…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 02:32 PM
19

I have used the privacy invasion argument before in personal relationships where shared devices or passwords come up. The difference is that I’m a member of the sex that usually is the victim of domestic abuse and violence at the hands of a partner. I also have experienced abuse from an ex-partner and my family, and from my experience men wanting access to my devices was one of the first warning signs of abuse, so I have dumped men who insisted on knowing my passwords or being able to look throu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 04:05 PM
10

Exactly, except that at least with children, being lazy or having an attitude is a teachable temporary phase that you can work past. Full grown adults don’t change.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 07:42 PM
6

Women: turns a man down, is direct and firm. Man: she’s just playing mind games. Women are so complicated and illogical!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 03:41 PM
3

Same. I have watched a compilation of clips of Garcia and Morgan’s pet names for each other far more times than I should admit to, lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 02:19 PM
54

Women: breathes within 500 square miles of a man Man: Bro she totally wants me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 01:20 AM
52

Same, though I'm ten years younger. Several women I knew over plucked and now their brows won’t grow back. some now have gotten their eyebrows tattooed because it was so bad. It actually looks realistic if done by an experienced professional , so it’s a decent option for women who are sick of applying liner eyebrows every day since the late 90s. I do remember the obsession with weight being terrible though. The media was pretty explicit about idealizing a body only achieved by anorexia or drug a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 03:34 PM
14

There’s also evidence of him debating methods of how to kill Amber Heard- drowning her, or burning her as a witch, then raping her corpse to make sure she’s dead. He admits to these texts and added that the context was that Heard wanted her husband to work on sobriety, while Depp didn’t think he had a problem. He also added that Heard didn’t like it when his friends invited him to party while knowing about his substance abuse issues, hence the “jokes” calling her a witch and about burning her to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 01:12 AM
65

I’d need to see far more evidence and cross-examined testimony before I’m convinced that a 25 year old woman was the predatory abuser of a 51 year old man (this was the age they were when they started dating). I don’t think she’s nearly as bad as Depp, no. A lot of abusive men claim to be the victim of abuse in their relationship, this is a common enough occurrence that Lundy Bancroft makes note of that. Since Depp lost his libel suit against the Sun about being called a wife beater I’m pretty c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 09:15 PM
106

Yes, his relationship with her was super sketchy to begin with just with the age gap. He’s known to have a temper, talked descriptively about killing Amber with his friends, had recorded text messages with verbal abuse, has been an addict for years (he started drug and alcohol use at 12), and lost a defamation case because it turns out libel only applies if it isn’t a true statement, and Johnny did abuse Amber according to the judge who ruled on it, so wife beater is an accurate term to describe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 06:59 PM
20

Other way around actually. There was a ruling as I mentioned about how his defamation/libel case against the Sun held no merit since he was a wife beater. Edit to add: this was the case against a British newspaper, and the judge went through all the accusations by Amber to see which ones had merit, which involved testimony and phone records if I remember correctly (a lot of the evidence was discussed in a podcast episode by Roberta Glass). The end result was that the Suns reporting was considere…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 06:53 PM
63

I think Johnny Depp’s abuse of Amber Heard being made public, and his lawsuit about libel against The Sun being dismissed after a judge found the label “wife beater” to be “summarily true”, ruined him personally and professionally as it should. Actions have consequences. He’s also been a known addict for years, that lifestyle does catch up, and had well before they married. He’s looked pretty wrecked for over a decade prior to dating her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 06:50 PM
39

Exactly, I agree. Even so, I find it absolutely great when men who hate and hold stereotypes about bisexual women, or women of my ethnicity, or mixed women filter me out. I don’t want racists either, I don’t want a racist to take up my time and fuck me while resenting me, I don’t want to be the exception, I want nothing to do with those kind of people. I also don’t particularly want men who don’t find my look attractive to examine their preferences and ask me out anyway- I want someone who think…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 06:00 PM
40

Same. I get approached the most when I’m exercising. Men will literally run in front of me and stop to get me into a conversation- that conversation ends up being mostly me yelling at him for shit trail manners. When I exercise, I’m usually in a basic sweat-wicking athletic tank with thick straps and good coverage for my chest and bike shorts to my knees because chafing sucks. My hair is pulled up in a bun to keep it off my neck or braided and pinned up. No make up whatsoever. I’m absolutely cov…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 06:56 PM
13

Yes, I know and agree, but have you ever heard men let the opportunity to call a woman a bitch pass them by? I’m just saying that normally songs that are made to insult women are not very vague, they’d also be very cruel about women’s looks too if they meant to write about ugly woman daring to club.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 05:40 PM
33

It really does- I was attempting to make fun of a stereotype about unmarried women but instead described an idyllic peaceful life I might try to make happen. Jokes on me, I guess. Or men really, because life without them sounds so damn appealing. Let’s just add a nearby lake or river to make the cabin idea extra lovely. The cabin would be an A-frame with a lovely porch and a wooden swing. There would have to be a reading nook next to a fireplace in the living room.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 01:29 AM
55

Exactly! I love being single. I don’t actually enjoy living with other people, and sharing a bed is just way too much imho. I like attempting to stretch out to take up as much of my bed as I can (at 5’2 it’s not possible to take up all of it but I make my best attempt. Having another person in my bed always ends up where I only get a quarter of it, which is never enough), I like having all the covers, I like being able to sleep when I want to and wake up when I want. I like not having to navigat…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 01:18 AM
236

Who Let the Dogs Out was always about horny creepy men, no matter what scrotes claim (it’s also really really catchy). A “Dog” is what you call a man who obsesses over sex, like a male dog who hasn’t been neutered, trying to hump everything in its sight. horny dog, or horndog, is a similar term. It’s a negative term, it doesn’t glorify male promiscuity like the terms player, Romeo, or Lothario would, so men can’t pretend that the song is a neutral or positive take on that kind of behavior. The s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 09:06 PM
123

Exactly. My high school boyfriend regularly bought me jewelry that he thought I’d like, a game system and games that he knew I wanted, books, snacks, and took me out to nice dinners twice a month, the kind I’d be happy to be taken out on a date even now when I’m nearing 30. Once a week we’d go to a more typical high school place after school or during lunch, and we’d also do a movie date every month. He paid for all of that with his part time job too. Never expected anything from me, just wanted…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 08:07 PM
192

I’m having my 30th this month, so I’m late to the spinster party I guess. Clearly it’s time to buy a loom for spinning yarn, adopt nine cats, and retreat to an isolated cabin in the middle of the woods or a swamp to spend the rest of my life without men, lol, clearly I’m turning from a pretty young thing into a hag or crone the moment the clock strikes midnight. Seriously though, creating a sanctuary for rescue animals in a quiet environment on my own while picking up a new hobby sounds much bet…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 08:01 PM
657

I loved this so much. Men haven’t changed much at all, and some women could see past all their bullshit then too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 05:49 PM
2

I agree, I normally like clean shaven, but I really like how his suit brings out the color of his eyes in the third photo and most of his clean shaven photos either have his hair in a less flattering style or too dark of a suit to really make those baby blues pop. The first photo is my favorite too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 06:35 AM
3

Yes he does, that is like 95% of the reason I watched Grimm. From what I remember he was pretty fit throughout. I’m not sure if he was quite at the level he is now but I think he was pretty damn close, which is incredibly impressive to be consistently at a shape like that for years at a time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 12:27 AM
5

I’m hoping most of them were larpers. The criticism based on men being too skinny or in very good shape seemed more like male jealousy than someone here. I also don’t remember people arguing about types even in posts where we discuss what we like so it’s really weird that image based posts are getting so many hostile replies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 11:39 PM
11

😍😍😍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 10:40 PM
3

Oh good, lol. The first set of comments I got were all about how terrible my taste was because of the veins, and I was wondering when exactly low body fat and peak fitness became so unattractive. V lines too, it’s really a sign of how much he works out to be able to have it so deep and defined.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 10:27 PM
5

There’s a recent post by the mods about Fine AF Fridays so it’s cool. I think it’s pinned
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 10:08 PM
3

Is that a good or a bad thing? I’m personally attracted to that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 10:00 PM
2

There’s a plot somewhere I think, lol. Not sure I remember it, clearly I’m due for a rewatch this weekend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 09:16 PM
6

Exactly. Those cheekbones are proof of a grand design by a higher power who has excellent taste in men, lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 07:08 PM
7

You’re doing the Lord’s work, I think. Bless that gif.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 06:51 PM
6

I like him best when he’s less styled, but all Mads photos are spectacular. There needs to be a term for the opposite of cleaning up well, because the reaction most women (and me, reluctantly because that wig was absolutely ridiculous) had to Geralt in the Witcher during the bath scene is pretty similar to how I felt when Mads hair was loose instead of slicked back in Hannibal. It’s sort of like a Victorian male who glimpses a flash of an ankle- I should not have found that as hot as I did, ther…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 06:32 PM
10

I love his hair. He has a very classic masculine face too- sharp jawline, strong straight nose, high sharp cheekbones. And his tattoos are gorgeous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 06:19 PM
14

V lines are an incredibly beautiful thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 05:43 PM
13

Yes! Hugh Dancy’s eyes and curls are so gorgeous. I too would be tempted to quote poetry to him and compare him to Saint Sebastian or a Botticelli painting, I can’t really blame Hannibal. Mads is gorgeous too, I’m not sure how he doesn’t look absolutely ridiculous in some of those suits but he really can pull it off. Those cheekbones, my God. His portrayal of Hannibal is the only one that makes sense why he was able to move around undetected. As much as I love Anthony Hopkins acting, he was very…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 05:28 PM
21

He’s adorable! Plays one of my favorite characters of all time too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 05:18 PM
83

She’s basically asking people to gaslight her and convince her that he actually wanted her. She knows it’s not true. I feel bad for her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 05:14 PM
17

I’m concerned that we may have dated the same man, or that there’s a playbook, because girl, same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 05:07 PM
6

Right. His eyes. That’s what I was looking at. Not him shirtless and brooding while looking out a window in an episode I’ve watched way too many times. Nope. Lmao. The thoughts I’ve had while watching this show have been very disrespectful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 05:05 PM
16

Right? My eyes practically pinwheeled when I saw the lead, I had to rewatch a few episodes because I’d get distracted by how damn pretty that man is and miss some key plot point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 05:00 PM
41

Now this is a classically handsome man. I’m sort of fascinated by his upper lip, it’s so plush! And that jawline. And the muscles. Good lord. Good taste OP!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 04:53 PM
16

That’s cool, it’s my thing. To me his face is gorgeous. His jawline is lovely, his eyes are beautiful, he’s in shape, and a well defined v line is a beautiful thing. I like a treasure trail, I like it when men who actually can grow body hair don’t shave, it’s very masculine to me. As for a veiny abdomen, that’s what happens at a low body fat percentage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 04:21 PM
11

You do realize you can just scroll past posts if you don’t agree with someone else’s taste in men, right?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 04:11 PM
100

Yes! Men on there complain about unenthusiastic “star fish” sex. Like bro, she obviously doesn’t want you and you noticed, continuing on means you don’t give a shit about her feelings, and you’re raping her. You are the problem here! Why the fuck are you complaining about the woman who you forced or coerced into sex not pretending she’s willing or enjoying it?! They also flat out lie about what’s happening. I have a ridiculously high libido when I’m single or treated well by a partner. My ex wro…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 01:40 PM
93

Sounds like my experience. I’m sorry that happened to you. I needed two nurses and my gyno to fish my implant out of my arm. I actually wasn’t bleeding that bad, the implant was just moving in my arm whenever they tried taking it out so they needed someone to squeeze the area so the implant would stay, a light to be shined on it, and someone to remove it. It took a half an hour. I got mine out early because it still was painful after nearly a year of it being in my arm. My doctor tried to convin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 05:53 AM
67

I’m not attracted to blondes or gingers. I like dark hair. No balding or bald men, and no weird haircuts (undercuts, mullets, perms, man buns, etc). Long hair is only attractive if men bother to take care of it and they have the features for it. I’m not attracted to extremely pale guys. I don’t like facial hair beyond stubble. I prefer men to keep their body hair trimmed/neat provided they can actually grow it (what is with men who only can grow three hairs on their chest refusing to get rid of …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 11:42 PM
64

Internet culture only protects male feelings. Many men on the Internet go out of their way to hurt and demean women, so it’s not like they care beyond censoring judgement against things they should feel ashamed of.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 03:31 PM
123

There’s probably a hipster today in Portland who uses this guy as outfit and facial hair inspiration. You don’t even need to modernize his clothing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 08:38 PM
9

Yep! Another example of the media forcing a false equivalence down women’s throats to get them to settle. The idea that handsome well-endowed men who are good in bed are automatically assholes had to have been created by a microdicked incel.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 07:14 PM
11

Exactly. I will stop shaming men for having small penises and being short when they stop coming up with new ways to body shame women. Which sex created the terms butterface, horseface, and pancake ass? Which sex calls long legged tall women masculine because they’re insecure? Which sex was in control of beauty standards when heroin chic was in? Which sex has fetishes relating to obesity and starving women? Oh right, men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 07:09 PM
3

Yep, somehow their opinions always get to be unquestionable, yet they expect me to come through with an APA format bibliography with twenty sources for something they could easily Google to fact-check. And if you actually come through with the sources, they’ll ignore the argument completely, claim you take things way too seriously and call you obsessed, crazy, a know it all, or a killjoy; then tone police you for not telling him in a nice enough way. Then when you actually get angry about it, he…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 11:48 PM
34

I’m with you 100%. Penises are fucking nasty. They don’t look appealing and their owners aren’t exactly winning aesthetic awards. Way too many men don’t even wash their hands during a global pandemic, so I can’t imagine them becoming shining examples of hygiene when it comes to their dick and balls. There’s no way I’m ever going to give oral to a man again, even to a hygienic HVM. It’s way too demeaning with no pay off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 10:24 PM
20

Asking to go out to drinks as a first date was the first clue. Men know what they’re doing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 06:18 PM
17

Know-it-all. Means he’s threatened by my intelligence. Stubborn. Great, that means I stick to my opinions and boundaries.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 05:46 PM
5

Exactly. The statistics are also probably messed up because a lot of women believe in some of the myths, like sex being a marital duty, or that you can’t be raped by a husband or boyfriend, or that you can’t expect men to stop in the middle of the act even if you say no. If they don’t think it’s rape or sexual assault they’re not going to check yes on a survey. In all likelihood the amount of women who have experienced sexual assault and rape is much higher than reported.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 02:41 AM
55

And after asking for facts: “SoUrCe?” “That’s anecdotal.” “That study was flawed/biased.” Then finally: “I don’t believe that.” “You’re wrong/crazy.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 09:33 PM
102

“Why does everything have to be an argument or fight with you?” “There she goes, sucking the fun out of the room.” “Sometimes you need to let things go.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 07:55 PM
64

I’m thinking we’re getting mentioned in one of the manosphere subreddits again. We get waves of downvotes and lurkers, then most leave us alone until the next article or post about FDS. Some scrote dug deep into my comment history and messaged me hate about comments from over a month ago, and I keep getting chat requests from people who aren’t FDS members. I typically don’t get many hate messages, just a handful over a year, but now they’re surprisingly frequent. I also noticed a lot less upvote…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 09:53 PM
35

When he was telling me to be humble and that no one was interested, he was pointedly ignored while people asked me questions about it until he kept going on, then one of my coworkers pointed out how obvious it was that everyone who wasn’t him cared and he didn’t need to be there if he was going to be so rude. That’s when he got out his laptop. The group chat that he started (on personal phones, not an official work communication, so I think he assumed HR wouldn’t care) made its way to a supervis…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 08:23 PM
79

Yes. I also hate it that whenever you say something positive about yourself or talk about an accomplishment you worked hard for, men will put you down for bragging and then work to tear you down. It’s a remnant of the idea that women should be seen but never heard, and the only skills and hobbies they should have should benefit their family and husband. I don’t see the benefit of humility or view humbleness as a virtue, in fact I think it’s often used as a tool to lower women’s self esteem and c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 07:30 PM
24

I probably deserved to be traumatized by that image of Bill Gates since I mentioned old ugly rich men in lingerie in my original comment but I’m still feeling violated by your comment, lmao.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 07:23 PM
51

I never really thought Billie was empowering. I did like seeing a female artist who wore baggy clothes and an alternative style, but she already was pandering to men with her lyrics. She was already way too sexualized for her age when she wrote Bad Guy: “bruises on both my knees for you”- that’s a porn-inspired blow job reference. “I’m that bad type make your girlfriend mad type might seduce your dad type” oh so we’re pretending that it’s the 17 or 18 year old’s fault when a man at least double …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 06:09 PM
175

If posing for pictures in lingerie and being called a slut was truly empowering, we’d see straight middle aged and elderly white men in the 1% doing this while male editors suppressed women’s photos from ever being seen. The backlash would be the same as it was during any other key victory with women’s rights, but instead we can’t even look through a magazine or watch a tv show without seeing sexualized women everywhere. The patriarchy isn’t threatened whatsoever by sexy women because those beau…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 05:05 PM
2

That’s where I got the base recipe from too, then I just added my own touch. It’s a really good recipe, I can see why it went viral.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 02:00 PM
37

I had baked feta pasta. It’s one of my favorite meals To make it, you roast feta cheese, cherry tomatoes, artichoke hearts, onion, and spinach with olive oil, salt, pepper, and dill, then combine it with cooked pasta, white wine, a little butter, garlic, chicken broth, and red pepper flakes plus a Greek seasoning blend. Sautéed shrimp and scallops or Italian sausage can be added too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 12:39 AM
21

Yes, exactly. I can’t say I believe in anything, spiritual or religious, but I’m not about to ask religious people to prove the existence of God to me. If I did I would fully expect them to refuse to be around me. Men do this shit, make it clear they don’t respect us or like us much, and then have the audacity to ask for sex from the same women who he just called crazy or stupid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 02:29 PM
114

I’ve never understood the weird level of hatred so many men have against astrology- it’s on par with their hatred of vegetarian and vegan diets. They can never leave it alone either, like most women are capable of if someone starts talking about a hobby or interest we don’t necessarily share. They always have to push their opinion down our throats and like you said, try to get us to explain the origin of astrology and theoretical concepts while they’re being skeptical and condescending. Seriousl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 02:25 AM
57

I think we dated the same man. My ex used all of these. Plus: “Why are you holding my past against me? It’s not fair to hold grudges.” Was always used when I pointed out that the current issue was part of an ongoing pattern. This was an attempt to deflect the conversation and blame to me. “Why do you always have to be angry?” Or “Why do you always have to fight?” That would be because we never actually addressed anything I brought up productively, he’d amp up into a fight, get personal, then wou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 05:23 AM
2

That’s about what I was trying to get across. I feel like I described a basic functional, stable, equal approach to problem solving in relationships, not frolicking through sunlit meadows. I don’t think healthy conflict management and basic emotional control is an impossible expectation, and if it’s too much for most men, that’s another reason I want nothing to do with them. I just normally don’t see men approaching problems with women as equals instead of a subordinate and boss dynamic, or oppo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 12:28 AM
3

I mean I was talking about my past relationships, not generalizing everyone of a certain sex. Sure, some women are difficult to date, but let’s not pretend that the struggles are the same or the risk is the same. I’m still going to lower my chances of experiencing intimate partner violence, homicide by a partner, rape by a partner, and sexual violence by a partner, since statistically men are the most common perpetrators of each. I’m going to eliminate the risk of an accidental pregnancy and rel…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 12:16 AM
77

I’m bisexual. I’ve sworn off of men entirely as of two years ago after fleeing to a domestic violence shelter, mostly I’m here to share my past dating misadventures and what I wish I would have known when I was younger and more trusting. I’ve been celibate for two years now, mostly because I need to recover from that abusive relationship. I’m only going to date women in the future. The relationships I’ve had with women have all been healthier, more stable, and less confrontational than with men.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 03:43 AM
20

Yep. It’s pretty well-known that the most dangerous types of men use pity to ensnare new victims. The story doesn’t have to be real (it often isn’t, or it’s distorted). This is one of the reasons why if a guy starts unloading past trauma very soon into a relationship, it’s a red flag. At the very best case, he’s expecting way too much emotional labor from you and he’s socially inappropriate, at the worst case he’s trying to hook a new target. Often crazy ex stories are reversed perpetrator and v…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 09:37 PM
4

A rough 40, I was going to say 55 with his greys and skin.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 08:53 PM
9

Is this something a man has said to you to get you to chase him, or is this something you want to change on your own? I’m like you, but I tell the men I get involved with that I’d rather get to know them in person, so if they aren’t asking me on a date, I’m probably not going to reply. Texting and calling creates false intimacy, and I’d just rather not change this about myself. Men have to work to get my attention and time, being attached to the phone just makes it seem like a leash that they ca…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 05:23 PM
5

A lot of them know that no one healthy wants a human dumpster fire as a partner, especially one that refuses to regulate or understand their emotions. They feel entitled to our attraction and attention regardless. I don’t necessarily think they’re deluded enough to think we find that attractive. There’s a difference in being vulnerable and open, and being aggressive, volatile, whiny, and throwing mantrums, and way too often men who claim to be the first seriously need medication and therapy. The…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 05:03 PM
20

I did at one point, not proud. I was kicked out and financially cut off from my abusive parents when I was 18, and I moved in with my BFF who also was struggling. 12 person household. Severely disabled grandma who needed around the clock care, caretaker aunt and two cousins who split the care in shifts, uncle and BFFS parents worked two or three jobs at all times, BFF and I worked while going to school, teenage siblings went to school and babysat younger siblings. Three bedrooms. There was assis…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 01:51 AM
36

I mean I hate math with a passion and I’m terrible at it, that’s why I didn’t go into engineering. If he had any self awareness, he’d have played to his strengths and not gone for a math-heavy major or career field, but a lot of men have an unearned confidence in their abilities. This was predictable. I feel sorry for his girlfriend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 11:06 PM
33

Right? Also it’s a work event that’s coordinated in advance with multiple people attending. Even if she did schedule it, she can’t just cancel it so she can drive to him to accommodate for his poor planning, all for his part time retail job that ran overtime. Her participation is mandatory. If his job frequently goes late on Friday, why doesn’t he go to court to request a different date and time for visitation so his son can have a reliable and predictable schedule? Or he could do what I did whe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 10:54 PM
20

Yep. Date an ugly man and he’ll make you believe you’re the ugly one. He’ll think there must be something broken in you to give him a chance, that if you could do better you would, so he’ll treat you poorly. Or his ego will inflate and he’ll think because one hot woman dated him the rest will line up. Men ruin good relationships with their insecurities and egos.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 08:48 PM
1

Thanks. Technically I’m allergic to one of the accelerators used in the process of making medical gloves, so latex and nitrile gloves set my allergies off equally. I haven’t been able to find any substitutes that work for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 07:22 PM
33

Did we date the same man? Girl I could have wrote this comment, it’s so relatable. My abusive ex cried when I jiggled his manboobs and asked when he planned on losing those in retaliation for him pinching my thighs and asking when they wouldn’t touch (never, I have high hips and an hourglass body shape, that’s just the way my pelvis is angled). I had communicated my ass off, told him I hated those jokes countless times, cried, gone silent, walked away, etc, prior to getting on his level, but you…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 01:15 PM
26

Lol I have done that, but I wasn’t hiding, just chilling in the bathtub with a bath bomb, fancy chocolate truffles, and a glass of wine while watching Netflix (I have a television set up purposefully in my sightline from my bathtub, it’s not like I’m bringing an IPAD or a phone into the bath. Also I have a meal tray for over my bathtub, I take my me time very seriously). I’m feeling a little judged now lol. My bathtub is my happy place.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 07:34 AM
11

Depression, anxiety, ADD, chronic migraines, TMJ pain. Latex allergy, allergy to nitrile gloves, cat allergy, lactose intolerance, seasonal allergies. Practically all of these things I’ve learned to manage with, and I feel like I’m thriving despite them. I finally have reached a place in managing my mental health where my relationships and life aren’t going to be affected when I’m low, I have systems for organization and time management that work around my ADD symptoms to the point most people h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 07:10 AM
57

Careful now with all that logic, some scrote lurking is going to report this comment as a personal attack towards him without any shred of self-awareness. You’re a 100% on point
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 12:44 AM
9

My past self is in this and I don’t like it, lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 11:22 PM
279

My type is classically handsome: tall, dark haired, broad-shouldered, jawline and cheekbones that could cut glass, plush lips, muscled. Not necessarily bulky, I’m not scoping out body builders or steroid users, more along the lines of a swimmer, cyclist, runner, gymnast, or dancer. I spend a lot of time outdoors or at the gym, and I want a guy who looks like he belongs next to me. I didn’t work as hard as I did on my health and fitness to settle for a guy who hasn’t ran since the mile run in ele…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 09:55 PM
43

>! I honestly didn’t like this movie. I thought it was toothless compared to the trailer, which really made it seem like a revenge film (honestly was hoping for a slasher except from the ‘villains’ perspective, where everyone deserved their fate). I was expecting something like Hard Candy or I Spit On Your Grave. Instead we got police intervention in a society we know doesn’t take violence against woman seriously. Cool, the rich white doctor got led away in cuffs, wonder what attorney is going t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 12:32 AM
5

Good point. I usually use the term “victim of sex trafficking” to make sure I’m not coming across like I’m judging the victim while being clear about my word choice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 07:18 PM
9

If your account is relatively new, your flair is set to throwaway account. Eventually with enough consistent quality posting and commenting you’ll get upgraded to FDS Newbie. There’s a flair guide under the FDS Wiki that explains more.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 12:21 PM
4

I’m glad you elaborated, the context was needed because I totally changed my mind. I’ll still leave my first reply up so the thread is readable, and I think my first paragraph was relevant to a general situation but not yours, but I definitely misjudged the situation at first and I’m sorry. I think it’s fair for you to be upset that she deflected the issues you called out by bringing up something unrelated. What about-ism is a toxic behavior on her part. I think the disconnect with the post to y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 12:47 AM
10

I think it’s fair if you want to be in someone’s life who you hurt to let them address those concerns, even if it happened a decade ago. I don’t know your situation, but if what you did to them is completely the opposite of who you are now, and you’re trying to own whatever you did, part of that leveling up process when you’ve wronged someone is trying to make amends if that’s what they want. You’re not in their life anymore but I still don’t think what they wanted was unreasonable. It was healt…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 11:08 PM
3

I agree with you: handwriting a letter then never sending it or burning it is cathartic. Don’t type it though: a, writing it feels different, you’re going to remember it more than typing, b, you’ll be more likely to send it if it’s a text or email because it’s just a click to do it. It’s a great way to work out your feelings without having something to cringe over later. Additionally I totally understand the urge to reply or argue with a man, it’s just never worth it and he won’t change. Journal…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 09:02 PM
6

Yep. I just don’t do involuntary sex sounds- I rarely moan, if I do it isn’t loud, no whimpering, definitely no screaming. My partners can tell I’m enjoying it though if they’re paying any attention to my body, and it’s not like I’m just laying there- I’m meeting them thrust for thrust, kissing, caressing, touching, whatever, and I’m not shy about complimenting or praising when they do something right. Sex just doesn’t make me lose control of my volume or the noises I make, and it feels inauthen…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 08:44 PM
7

Straight facts here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 06:40 AM
5

Congratulations on finishing a book, that’s a huge accomplishment and a ton of work! I like writing short stories in first person to figure out my character’s personality and voice as a part of my prewriting process. I find it easier to end a short story if I promise to myself I’m not done with the character I’m creating. I also find it easier to start writing if I separate the chapter into scenes. I really wish I could write a fantasy series though, that’s awesome! The world building required i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 06:37 AM
62

I used to prefer short guys- I’m 5’2, I liked not having to crane my neck to look into his eyes, and some tall guys are WAY too into the size difference and how young I look compared to my age. Tall men’s fixation on height can get to borderline pedophilic/actual pedo levels. Sometimes it also means he has a small dick and thinks it’ll look bigger in comparison (personal disappointing experience: the saying about big hands, feet, and nose meaning he’s got a big penis is not always true). Short g…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 04:10 AM
4

Ooh what do you enjoy writing?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 02:30 AM
22

Men’s horror stories about being ghosted are women’s stories about bullets dodged. Every time I hear a men rant about being ghosted, I wonder what the hell he did to scare her off. Long term relationships especially- women don’t just disappear on someone they’ve been living with, pay out the rest of the lease, leave a city, flee during a man’s vacation and block all mutual contacts unless she couldn’t live with him anymore (one of my worst first dates told me this ghosting story, and I figured I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 09:56 PM
22

My hobby is writing, and I’m actually fairly successful at it considering it’s my hobby and side-job, not career. I’ve won a few highly regarded competitions, gotten runner up on a few more, had my entries published, received prize money for winning, some of my short stories have been featured in anthologies, I’ve gotten a few articles published, and I’m about halfway done with a trilogy of novels. I also know a publisher who I used to work with before getting into my actual career field, who pu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 06:13 PM
21

I think that people should date someone at the same life stage as themselves, which is a smaller range when you’re younger but naturally gets a little more range as you grow older. While I would personally not date anyone ten years older or younger even in my forties and fifties, I don’t necessarily see the specific situation you mentioned as more than a yellow flag to keep cautious. Both someone in their mid forties and early-mid fifties have likely been settled in their career, own a home, hav…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 05:34 PM
17

I admire Ashton Kutcher’s work combating human trafficking as the co-founder of Thorn: Digital Offenders of Children. He’s spoken out about sex trafficking. I don’t follow celebrity news so I wouldn’t say that Ashton Kutcher is a HVM overall, but those two actions I mentioned were high value.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 01:04 AM
18

Please post more. I’m sure you already know this, but women who are called bossy know it all’s would be praised for their leadership qualities, intelligence, and insights if they were men. You’re one of the few usernames that I immediately recognize because you’re so consistently on point and articulate. I know I’m just an Internet rando but I’m sure that I’m not the only one here who values your perspective. Edit: phrasing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 12:24 AM
23

A lot of discussion on here is meant to be taken as a criticism of common male behavior, not that all men everywhere are exactly as described. We really don’t need to preface all our discussions to point out that NAMALT, by posting on FDS and dating men we are acknowledging that some are HV, it’s implied.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 07:15 PM
23

I exclusively date women so I’m planning on having children with a woman, either through adoption or a sperm donor (or both). I’m bisexual but I hate the dynamic I get forced into when I date men, I don’t like doing all the work and getting no credit or respect, so I’ve opted out. I would never parent with a man even if I decided to date men again, which is incredibly unlikely tbh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 03:00 AM
11

Yes, good eye! They were unnamed twin 1&2. I had to double check the cast list lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 03:39 AM
29

Little Rascals! The brunette in the front is Darla.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 02:21 AM
50

He looks like Lurch from the Addam’s family. Did they drag him from a morgue or something?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 01:21 AM
5

I’ve seen comments calling a betrayed wife a pick me for expressing anger towards the other woman, and saying that women having anger towards the other woman comes from internalized misogyny. I also don’t like seeing betrayed wives get called petty for being angry, because being angry after a betrayal is justified, and calling someone petty dismisses their pain . I’ve seen a personal conversation about infidelity using someone’s personal experience derail into a pendantic argument about the diff…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 07:06 PM
22

I was worried the thread would turn into another side chick defense thread, which is why I commented the way I did. I was worried because of the posts title (only pickmeishas get mad at the other women) and how similar posts have gone discussing this topic, and my comments weren’t directed at you specifically but towards the general attitude some members of the subreddit have towards infidelity. I’m sorry if it came across as personal, that wasn’t my intention.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 10:12 AM
38

I know and it drives me crazy. Being the other women is the opposite of what we preach about here, but it’s like a bunch of women here have a blind spot when it comes to this type of pick me shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 07:16 AM
96

There’s more than enough blame to go around. To be clear, I don’t put up with infidelity, and if I even think a guys straying I leave him. Cheaters cheat, and I’m not going to waste my time trying to change a man. It’s Pick Me behavior to knowingly go after married men, though, and it’s hypocritical to mouth off about not owing the wife anything while expecting the wife to lie about the truth about the end of the relationship or expecting any kindness from her. It’s not queen behavior to chase a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 05:43 AM
12

I’m subscribed to a few true crime based subreddits and horror movie subreddits, and same, I had to double check the subreddit to make sure it wasn’t a ransom letter from a case.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 05:27 AM
13

TMI warning, look away if you have a sensitive stomach. Alcohol, parties, and dumb teenage males in a group have resulted in more injuries than you’d expect. From what I remember, this particular group was being really disgusting and rubbing their dicks on various kitchen appliances and food to be gross (a prank against the host?)someone got the bright idea to do it to the blender, but didn’t check to see if it was plugged in, which it was, then accidentally hit the button mid-hump.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 05:16 AM
28

Yep. McChicken, coconut, vacuum, Jello cup, Hot pockets, pies. Men stick their dicks into anything, it’s not a compliment to be considered fuckable by them. There’s a horror story at a hospital I used to work at involving a blender and a teenage boy. The Darwin Awards could have a whole section just dedicated to deaths and injuries because men put their penises in something they shouldn’t.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 04:08 AM
78

Even true crime subreddits. Even the ones about cute baby animals. Men will relate anything to their penis and it’s revolting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 12:21 AM
16

Don’t they stare anyway though? I swear I could go out in a turtleneck, JNCO jeans, and a parka and I’d still get perverts ogling my chest. Men are depraved, and it doesn’t matter what women wear, they’re still going to stare.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 10:09 PM
12

Yes! This also happens whenever I post a picture of food I’ve made on social media so it’s a great way to prune my friends list.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 02:59 AM
18

Bisexual woman checking in (Kinsey 5, strongly prefer women). I’ve been regularly commenting here for over a year. Who has that much time to log in and lie for that long?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 02:55 AM
7

I made a bowl out of lamb meatballs with a lemon and spinach rice, tzatziki sauce, feta, kalamata olives, red onion, cucumber, and cherry tomatoes. I also had a lemon orzo soup on the side. It was delicious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 12:50 AM
27

Personally, I expect men I’m in a relationship to get horny and to take care of that without me when needed. That doesn’t mean porn is acceptable, they can jerk it without watching trafficked women get raped on film. They are fully capable of using their imagination and hands. If they can’t get off without porn there’s something deeply messed up with them. That also doesn’t mean that I’m going to risk my career, reputation, and relationships so they can save naked photos of me to make their rele…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 01:23 AM
36

I was scrolling quickly and didn’t catch the subreddit, thought I was accidentally looking at a still shot from a horror movie. God does he look awful
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 05:39 AM
7

That’s ultimately where I ended up. The trailer set up expectations that the movie failed to deliver. If I wanted realism I’d watch the news.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 03:02 AM
19

I’m from the Midwest, in the process of relocating. There are the wannabe cowboys. The closest they’ve been to a farm is getting rowdy at a state fair concert, they wear Carhart boots while working in an air conditioned office. They can’t prepare a fish, butcher their own deer, can’t deal with the cold or waking up early so that deer on their Tinder profile is actually his uncles, and he probably threw up prior to taking the picture. The reason the fish is on the hook in the picture is because h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 10:39 PM
22

I’m so sorry you’ve gone through that. I’ve heard that breast reductions are one of the most painful surgeries to go through because practically your entire torso gets bruised. I had to recover from mine without pain medication (insurance issue, couldn’t get approved for the recommended painkiller but the one I was approved for increases bleeding which is totally not what you want after getting cut open, and OTC stuff does absolutely nothing for me so I didn’t take anything). I couldn’t breathe …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 05:16 AM
39

Everyone else has been on point with the other red flags. I also think that this is not the first inappropriate sexually charged conversation he’s had with a female friend of his. Platonic male-female friends don’t make plans to go to a place with alcohol and mostly naked women. I’m hoping you’re going to leave, you deserve better than this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 03:19 AM
4

I love your suggestions! ROFL at Crypt Creep
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 01:07 AM
4

It’s been a while and my google skills aren’t the best, I’ll link it if I can find it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 04:56 AM
31

It wasn’t intentional, I swear! I would take credit if I was that clever on purpose lol. By not a good fit, I meant not a good match (fit and match are used interchangeably in my area). It was a ridiculous excuse because I was topless with my tongue down his throat not even two minutes prior, he knew what I meant and why I was leaving, and unfortunately it was an unintentionally accurate statement. I was mortified and trying to get out of the situation without further damaging his ego, I knew th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 09:25 PM
107

I have, and it was both very awkward and extremely obvious why I left. Up until the micropenis reveal, we were hot and heavy. Then his pants were off and I laughed in shock. He lost what little erection he had, and I just grabbed my clothes and said that this obviously wouldn’t work out and we weren’t a good fit, so I’m just going to leave. By the “this won’t work out” comment, I meant that any mood was ruined, but he took the “we weren’t a good fit” part as a small penis joke and we never spoke…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 06:52 PM
35

Okay the way you interpreted that also makes sense to me, fetishing periods would be creepy. I don’t think I’ll let go of my theory quite yet that some writers in the media are intentionally trying to minimize and equate harmful fetishes with sex acts that are harmless but have some shame attached. I’d have to look, but I’m pretty sure I’ve seen an article that called going down on a woman without expecting PIV a kink . It’s somewhat along the lines of how they use euphemisms to downplay the sev…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 05:11 PM
131

Seriously. Agreed. Possible TMI but to illustrate how fucked up the things Cosmo is trying to normalize truly are: Being bitten until you bleed from normal human teeth involves a lot of force and probably a tearing motion. That’s got to be so fucking painful, and your skin is going to bruise underneath along with bleeding. Not only that, but the human mouth is full of harmful bacteria, so you’ll need a saline rinse and bandage at the very least, needing an urgent care visit and antibiotics isn’t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 11:47 AM
15

Blenders. I’m not kidding. The emergency units in hospitals have seen many men compete for the Darwin Awards by sticking their penis in things they shouldn’t.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 11:29 AM
3

You did thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 09:55 PM
2

Please PM me this post.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 08:58 PM
7

Good point on automatic trust. I’m 100% with you on that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 06:02 AM
158

Agreed. One of the big red flags I ignored with my ex is that he voiced an expectation for unconditional love from a girlfriend and thought I was cruel and unreasonable for saying that I don’t think that kind of love exists. If it does it’s unhealthy imo. If my son became a serial killer or school shooter, for example, I would never speak to my child again. If I found out my husband was a rapist, that’s a cause for divorce and I’d 100% cooperate with the law to see him behind bars, if there was …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 08:38 PM
32

I think that letting your siblings live with you while they’re building themselves financially is an incredibly sweet and generous action, and the right guy would fully understand this. It’s also a good way to vet men for compatible values and generosity. I’ve got a question though: are the LV men who make judgey comments from your culture or a different one?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 08:07 AM
28

It’s probably because they’re hoping they can guilt or manipulate the woman into sleeping with him anyway and that’s easier when they’re both naked, which is predatory rapist behavior. If she leaves, it’s obvious to both people why she left, and he’s banking on that being awkward enough and her feeling guilty enough that she will let him have sex with her. Men purposefully hide or lie about common dealbreakers to get sex, like having kids, or being married, or a rap sheet, or their age, or their…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 07:26 AM
7

I plan on baking a chocolate raspberry mousse cake for dessert. For dinner I’m making Eggplant Parmesan. I make my own sourdough bread for breadcrumbs, and I also make my own pesto, pasta, and spaghetti sauce. The bread needs to dry out, so I have that already made and set out. The entire process day of takes about three hours, even though most of that time isn’t really involved cooking (prep for everything is forty minutes, the rest is making sure things don’t burn while baking and simmering th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 10:38 PM
15

Well said. In therapy, I had to sit down and really think about the things that I was interested in with kink because they weren’t healthy. When I was into rape fantasies and bondage, it was because I grew up in an extremely religious and conservative environment where desire was always shameful and sex was something good women were supposed to endure for reproductive purposes or marital duty but not want. This led to a very unhealthy relationship with boundaries since not wanting something sexu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 01:36 AM
4

See if you’re right and she needed a decade to live her life before joining the royal family, I can understand that on an individual basis. I hope that was the case for her. I’m not advocating at all for accepting a proposal that you don’t want. I’m just pointing out what I’ve seen other commenters bring up in threads about this subject about why they’re pro-Meghan but not really that supportive towards Kate. That’s what the comment I replied to asked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 04:49 PM
13

I guess, but why is that relevant to the FDS subreddit or 99.99% of the world? My point is that we are not Kate and waiting a decade for a proposal doesn’t work out for the average woman- either you get dumped not engaged, or you waste your time with a man who doesn’t want to be with you. I don’t recommend relying on winning the lottery, that doesn’t mean there aren’t people who beat the odds, but I wouldn’t use them as an example for an early retirement subreddit, and I’d point out the statisti…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 02:35 PM
34

I think that’s based on FDS principles though. Kate Middleton stuck with William way longer than she should have, waiting a decade for a proposal usually means he is settling and decided that he can’t find better, which doesn’t bode well for their future together. I’d never recommend wasting ten years on a man, so why would I or any other FDS person use her as a good example? Whereas Meghan and Harry had a normal timeline and he seems to adore his wife by the actions he’s taken. To clarify I don…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 12:54 PM
52

Agreed. Ed Kemper is my go-to example of where the bar actually is to be called “nice” if you have a penis. Apparently if you’re a man, you can kill ten people (including your paternal grandparents and your mom) and the family cat, and as long as you’re polite to the police and the media, podcast hosts will gush about how kind you are. Meanwhile if you don’t have a smile on your face constantly as a woman, you’re called cold, uppity, bitchy, haughty, and told you have a resting bitch face.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 04:11 AM
47

I genuinely thought before that relationship that most men were honest and wouldn’t bother with a woman they couldn’t stand, so if they pursued me, I thought they really liked me. The joke was on me. I wasted a lot of my twenties on terrible men who could not care less about me, and I’m probably going to still be recovering from those issues into my early thirties. And it’s not just my relationship, my story isn’t unique, that’s why it’s so scary to me. Men who can use a woman like that for year…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 08:52 PM
45

My dog is loving and cuddles with me, would absolutely prefer her living with me over any man living with me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 01:42 AM
535

That men will date, have sex with, marry, and impregnate a woman he doesn’t even like let alone love. That they’ll waste your life if you let them. I realized this after experiencing an abusive relationship. Someone who loved me could never do what he did to me. It did change how I interact with men, I’m more guarded. I don’t trust what I can’t verify, and honestly most times I just can’t be bothered to take the risk. I’m no longer excited or happy when men try to get with me, instead I think “t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 01:22 AM
30

Good question, you should make a post about that! The roughest realization for me was that men who aren’t even attracted to a woman and actively hate her will date her and waste her time for years if they get the chance. Some even marry and have children with women they hate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 12:21 AM
10

Here’s the thing: if we agree that affair partners don’t owe anything to the betrayed spouses because they made no vows, well, the logic follows that betrayed spouses didn’t vow to give up their right to sue over alienation of affection for the affair partners benefit. Personally I dump men if I even suspect infidelity, but if I lived and was married in a state where alienation of affection torts existed I’d sue the other woman too if my case applies. It’s extra evidence for division of assets, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 11:19 PM
11

Exactly. Other women don’t get to pull the female solidarity card- they weren’t thinking about the sisterhood when they were in between a married man’s sheets, they only care when consequences might be a thing. Why is it that we are supposed to accept that affair partners don’t owe betrayed spouses shit because they didn’t make any vows to them, while simultaneously betrayed spouses are supposed to ignore any potential resource they could legally use to aid in a divorce or sue for otherwise they…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 10:57 PM
12

I see it practically every time infidelity gets brought up and when comments that are similar to mine get downvoted. There are people here that react defensively whenever this topic comes up and scramble to justify cheating, just like any post about kink brings out the kinkmeishas. The other woman also potentially endangered his wife and took part in benefitting from the financial abuse if she received gifts or hotel stays from the marital funds. While I personally would keep my husband accounta…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 08:15 PM
11

I mean it matters because knowingly being the other woman is pick me bullshit and low value behavior. It’s throwing another woman under the bus for a subpar dick and a guaranteed NVM. Why on earth would anyone ever compete for a man? That’s your prize? Really? Obviously the cheater sucks too. A betrayal from someone who is supposed to love you is really fucking painful, that’s on the spouse. There’s more than enough blame to go around though and that doesn’t absolve the affair partner IF they kn…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 07:33 PM
25

Bet he makes her pick up the entire grocery bill because she’s the one picking up groceries while he eats 70% of what’s on the list, and pretends it’s fair.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 04:36 AM
14

Serious question: do the majority of LVM actually work to maintain relationships? A lot of relationships rely on the woman driving and working on everything while projecting all her good qualities on a passive sentient potato. Does receiving all the benefits of a relationship while putting in none of the effort actually require energy? That would explain all the cheaters I’ve met who have two, three, four women on the side and a wife waiting at home.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 10:15 PM
11

We women are all way to good for men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 03:26 AM
60

Exactly. If he cried when Kobe Bryant died or thinks it’s terrible that people keep bringing up his reprehensible actions against women after his death leave his ass. You cannot separate the abuser from the art or sport, there is not enough talent in the world to make up for rape.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 01:24 AM
3

Yeah these were thoughts I had when I didn’t know that. That was probably around my early teens, I grew up in a very religious and conservative household where the media I was allowed to watch was controlled, so attraction was very confusing when even liking the opposite sex was frowned upon, let alone same-sex attraction. I was expected to get married, not sure exactly how my parents or society expected that to happen when I wasn’t allowed to interact with men, an arranged marriage maybe? I gue…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 06:45 PM
80

Exactly. Otherwise known as: Do I really naturally dislike partnered sex with men or is sex with men just that bad? Am I bad at picking out men who are generous lovers or is it actually just that they’re men? Is it the lack of skill or the wrong body parts? All of the above? Is the reason I rarely feel attraction to men because they’re just that ugly or is it because I’m not attracted to men? How do straight women feel attraction? most men look like Neanderthals or the Pillsbury dough boy with a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 12:51 AM
26

Yes. Adding to your comment: look up Giulia Tofana, who created and sold poisons to women trapped in abusive marriages. She disguised her poison in a perfume bottle, since men, especially police men, wouldn’t closely examine a woman’s cosmetics. Additionally most poison deaths during when she was active were easily mistaken as spoiled food, the flu, or a stomach ailment, so it’s doubtful that all of the men that she assisted in poisoning were looked into as homicide anyway. Even when they were, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 12:39 AM
11

It’s damn lazy. It’s the kind of solution to stress a guy who contributes to the majority of said stress will suggest in a condescending tone, rather than contributing to the housework in any meaningful way. It’s a detail to nitpick so we don’t have to discuss anything important- now the argument isn’t about him not pitching in, it’s about paper plates, and you’re not going to dump a guy over paper plates right (PS it’s never about paper plates, dump the fucker). It’s something to mansplain. If …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 01:17 AM
22

Exactly! Thank you, you get me! Wanting a life partner to have a similar diet as you isn’t petty, especially if you want to raise a family together. It’s really hard to create long-lasting healthy eating habits and get your children to try new things when your husband only eats beige food and wrinkles his nose up at anything besides meat and potatoes. Kids notice and copy behavior. If dad gets to sit on the couch eating his way through a family size bag of Cheetos and a package of Oreos with a t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 10:15 PM
24

This is why I hate the pervasive idea that hurt people hurt people. No. Men use their trauma as a reason they are entitled to be selfish and angry at the world, and as an excuse to never grow past it or become better, women blame themselves for their trauma and try to make themselves smaller so that way they become loveable to someone, not realizing that abuse is always about the abuser and there’s no possible way to make someone love you who doesn’t want to. “Hurt people hurt people” makes peop…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 09:22 PM
22

And 99.99% of men aren’t pretty enough to justify the space they take up. Conclusion: buy a ton of flowers, dump the man, he does not spark joy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 08:00 PM
4

OLD: Online dating
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 02:09 AM
1

When I first thought of the baby in flames thing, it was supposed to be an extreme absurd example, like the Leopards Eating Faces Political Party is used to describe people voting against their own self interests (“I didn’t think the leopards would eat MY face!” Cried the woman who rallied voters to the Leopards Eating Faces Political Party). Then I remembered that despite Chris Watts murdering his two children and pregnant wife, stuffing his babies in an oil battery, then pretending to be conce…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 09:04 PM
10

No, turns out I have a lot of feelings wrapped up in that phrase. I’m so glad i wasn’t downvoted though, makes me feel less alone. I feel like I’m going to have to warn whoever I end up with that if we have a child together and he uses the phrase “we’re pregnant” I’m going to need a hotels stay for a few days and a massage booked so we don’t end up featured on Snapped or divorced over a pregnancy announcement.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 06:10 AM
106

While I’m not child free, I’ve heavily contemplated the option because of the misogyny directed at mothers, and I absolutely understand why women opt out. Your post is spot on and exactly why I’m a fence sitter. Getting interested in radical feminism and FDS really made me more aware of both the importance of motherhood on society and how hated women are for it. We own the means of production by both creating and raising the future workers of society. Modern society cannot exist without women’s …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 12:16 AM
77

That’s a huge pet peeve of mine (rant mode activated). I fully admit my ire towards this is perhaps overboard because my anger is not just about the phrase, it’s about the entire male-female heterosexual relationship dynamic where women do the lion’s share of the work while their husbands take credit and actually believe they contribute their equal share. While I genuinely like children and want them, motherhood is the most thankless job on the planet. Mothers are literally raising our nations f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 10:05 PM
17

I think we don’t have ones who got away because generally women will try everything before giving up on a relationship. The amount of shit we take with a smile through prior to FDS while being told that any problem in the relationship is on us is insane. We are told to communicate more, communicate less, don’t nag, but don’t get angry when he doesn’t do it, and don’t pay attention to his actions or keep a mental scoreboard because that’s bitter and resentful. Don’t have expectations or standards…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 05:44 PM
8

Me neither. Thank you. I’m sorry that you also experienced an abusive man. My grandpa is dying slowly from a medical condition he both brought upon himself and refuses to control- the way this condition is likely to progress at this stage is going to be humiliating, painful, and make him feel like his body is betraying and imprisoning him. While I’m angry that he never suffered any legal consequences, I can’t say I’m disappointed in his prognosis or diagnosis and it feels like the only justice m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 06:37 AM
17

Yep. I’d rather go alone if I have to plan anything. Guarantee I’ll treat myself better than he would over a whole relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 10:52 PM
22

Exactly. If he asks to go half, I’m not going to argue. I carry enough cash to pay for my own food. However I’m not going to bother seeing him again because he made it clear that he values a few dollars more than a potential relationship. In my area the norm is that men who are seriously dating with the intent to find a life partner pay for dates, this 50/50 thing is for young broke people who are only looking for casual sex. Men who don’t offer are players.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 11:00 PM
38

There’s a saying to never associate malice with an act when stupidity or ignorance also explains it. It is one of the biggest chunks of steaming bullshit that masquerades as advice you will ever get served up. It’s telling you to gaslight yourself. If you always assume the best of men, you are going to get hurt, a lot, and disappointed, a lot, because there are men who know you want to believe them and who will twist you up trying to make you find the right words to explain why what they’ve done…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/21 03:06 AM
2

No problem, definitely didn’t want to come across as annoyed or anything- just wanted to save you angry DMs. I deleted my first reply just so you know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/21 01:50 AM
300

Men treat online dating apps like a catalog for free prostitutes. They will try copy pasting the cheapest and lowest possible effort “date” idea to everyone they can message because they believe it’s a numbers game, and 99 no’s but one yes means one potential sex option. Most won’t come out and say it, they’ll hide behind the “cuddling” and Netflix and chill euphemism. If you call them out they can feign innocence/stupidity
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 02:19 AM
38

That is a whole entire mood. I love Rihanna’s confidence and the way she deals with questions like this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 08:26 PM
6

I’m putting money on it: he went to Claire’s. This has got to be a mall ring.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 08:23 PM
5

Noticed there’s some people calling troll, thought I’d weigh in. Throwing out and destroying prized possessions of other people is right out of the abuser playbook- literally, I mean, there’s an excerpt in Lundy Bancroft’s Why Does he Do That that’s very similar. It’s possible (and not that unlikely) that a male Redditor posted his side of the story for validation and to shove in his girlfriends face knowing that Reddit and AITA especially usually is happy to have men’s backs. Additionally I’ve …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 04:05 AM
12

Have you tried saidit or spinster? I’ve heard there’s a few radfem groups up but haven’t spent much time there for that purpose.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 01:02 AM
3

Your post alone could be considered an attempt or a call to brigade because you’re posting to recommend FDS members to downvote MGTOW. If someone screenshots your post and sends it to admins we could get shut down, and they are looking for reasons. I highly recommend removing this post.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 10:51 PM
7

Nope that would be brigading and will get FDS banned. It would also be a huge waste of time and energy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 10:31 PM
20

It does if you’re expecting a revenge film. Frankly that’s how they advertised it, and why I was not happy after I left the theater, but after reading about why the director went the way she did with the plot I can understand the reasoning. I still hate the ending with all my heart but it gets across the message the director intended loud and clear, and it’s not a leap from the rest of the movie. I recommend this movie overall. It’s extremely heavy and will make you think. Feel free to DM me aft…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 06:59 PM
10

I couldn’t believe Recipe for Seduction wasn’t an SNL skit. I’m actually planning on watching it. It looks absolutely terrible. Edit to add: I love Lifetime movies, they’re my guilty pleasure. They’re so terrible yet I can’t look away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 05:05 PM
11

His entire face is too long, this is the first time I had to scroll down to see a full image of a person on my IPAD.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 01:29 AM
4

And she was lying
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 09:42 PM
228

Lol who’s going to call this guy handsome? Don’t think he has anything to worry about, you could land a plane on that chin.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 12:14 AM
7

I’m a neat freak- yeah, tell that to the dust bunnies the size of an actual rabbit underneath your TV. The guy I’m talking about freaked out if I didn’t do all the housework how he wanted it, but he never lifted a finger to actually keep the place clean.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 06:51 PM
17

It seems like most formerly fat guys hang on to their memories of social ostracism, rejection, bullies, and insecurities after they lose weight, then lash out at women who date them. I’ve dated a few and without fail, when they’re angry, they’ll call me shallow because they think I would have never gave them a chance at their heaviest. Rather than be glad they put in hard work and succeeded at getting in shape, and glad that others recognized it and women were now attracted to him, they get rese…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 03:52 AM
5

That ring is so gorgeous! Congratulations!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 03:01 AM
57

Too accurate. Flashbacks to all the dirty clothes thrown right next to or over but not in the laundry basket.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 08:25 PM
6

Yep, my ex made a big deal about me being from the suburbs, called me bougie. His mother earned one of the highest yearly salaries in the specialty medical field she worked in for her location, making well into the six figures (seriously good for her, I loved his mom, I wish he was more like her). He argued because she didn’t get into that specific field until he was five and took a while to earn that level of pay, and because she was a single mom, that he wasn’t middle class, which isn’t how it…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 05:40 AM
21

Yep, refuse to buy anti-consumerist men presents and you’ll never hear the end of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 11:36 PM
7

Both, has to be both.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 07:50 AM
3

Math checks out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 11:26 PM
7

He’s deliberately going out of his way and spending more money to demonstrate to his wife that he doesn’t give a shit what she likes or wants. No wonder she’s frustrated! This isn’t shallow at all. Men are experts in passive aggressive displays like this, and playing the idiot so we can’t get mad. If he has a list of what she wants and still fails to deliver, it’s absolutely deliberate and malicious. If he wanted to make her happy, he would.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 10:23 PM
3

I’d like to get approved please.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 02:59 AM
9

Can you tag this NSFW?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 10:37 PM
31

Doesn’t he feel embarrassed? At no point when making the food, plating the food, serving the food, describing this food, describing her reaction, seeing her reaction, taking a picture, uploading the picture does he stop and think: man, maybe she has a point and I should have stepped up if I had a crush on her? Men are their own worst enemies, swear to god. Even when they are faced with their dream girl they’ll still fuck it up and get angry when women aren’t impressed with bare minimum. A restau…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 08:29 AM
9

The spaghetti looks like soup doesn’t it? I like marinara but the noodles are practically drowning in the sauce.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 08:24 AM
3

Can we get a recipe for the creamy Cajun chicken fusilli. That looks so good!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 08:17 PM
16

Everyone should read Andrea Dworkin. She was so insightful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 11:21 PM
29

People have been selling the PS5 for three times the original price because people will buy it (getting it now is down to luck and timing, stores have been having them available and then selling out within 5 minutes, and some people will sink $1000 more than it’s worth just so that way they can say they played it first). I hope she realizes that, crying over an asshole isn’t as terrible when you’ve got another thousand you didn’t previously. Edit: To be clear, I meant men who wrap their entire i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 07:20 AM
6

I was financially stuck. This was prior to finding FDS and I made every mistake you possibly could make, I am fully aware that I was the biggest clown you’d ever meet, and I reformed. That being said: when I started dating this guy I was finishing up my degree. My parents cut me off financially when I turned 18 (tldr: golden sons/ignored daughter dynamic, not pleasant). I had gotten most of my college expenses paid for with scholarship money, but in order to keep that I needed to maintain at lea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 07:47 PM
60

Every Friday? Sounds like too much commitment for this dude, he’ll get scared off and flake after three Fridays in a row.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 06:10 AM
8

Look, responding to what you write isn't being technical, that's what happens when you're on a discussion board. I can't intuit what you're saying from beyond the screen, I only have the words you wrote, and your original comment bothered me because from what you wrote, it sounded like you were comparing stealing someone's man to rape. Comparing things like getting pregnant (baby trapping), cheating, or receiving alimony to rape is a common MRA tactics. Reproductive coercion (baby trapping) is a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 01:51 AM
4

Sure women don't rape and abuse men on the scale as men, but women can be just as shitty in other ways. Emphasis on "just as shitty". Edit to add: I'm asking you to elaborate on your comment. What is something you think women commit on as widespread a scale, with a similar impact, that makes women just as bad as men?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 01:24 AM
10

What exactly is equally as shitty as raping, abusing, and murdering that makes women comparable to men?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 12:36 AM
17

Even when men have nothing, they still have the audacity
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 12:16 AM
23

Oh he didn’t actually tell the truth in his posts. I would have thought he was trolling if he didn’t show me the comments on his posts as a way to try and get me to have even more sex with him, and to convince me I was being abusive by withholding sex (lol). Of course, I read his actual post and about died laughing because there wasn’t an honest word in there. His post was something like this: frigid wife who doesn’t appreciate his gestures of affection, rejects him all the time, never initiates…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 01:06 AM
84

I 100% agree with this. When I was having sex with my live-in boyfriend at minimum four times a week he was posting to deadbedrooms (long story short, this was well before I found FDS, he gave off a million red flags and I was the biggest clown you’d ever meet.The relationship ended when I fled to a domestic violence shelter). Take everything you read there with a huge grain of salt. Most of them are probably getting sex more often than they say, they just don’t count it because it’s not the por…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 06:34 PM
7

Personally, no, I don’t want to know his passwords. I might ask for a guest account on his computer or to be able to use his devices when I’m over, and if he doesn’t show any other red flags or act weird about my request I’d be okay with that level of access. If he doesn’t allow even that, then that’s a dealbreaker. If I feel like I need that kind of access to his accounts or devices, I’m picking up on something off about him and that should be my cue to dump him. This is something I’ve noticed …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 07:58 PM
11

Being perfectly honest: I wouldn’t, and if a man insisted I’d dump him. When men make up the vast majority of domestic abuse victims, and the majority of perpetrators of violent and fatal domestic violence cases become women, I’ll give my passwords up. When women become the main perpetrators of financial abuse and stalking (Internet and physically), I will give up my passwords. Until that day comes, any man who asks is waving a red flag and sign that says controlling psycho in my face. I don’t c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 07:15 PM
9

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 Exactly this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 07:47 PM
4

Seems like we’re just agreeing with each other and just elaborating on our points.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 01:32 AM
12

I agree with you. There’s no excuse for her behavior. What I meant by my comment is that she’s actively putting her sister in danger for LVM dick she could’ve gotten anywhere else. My comment wasn’t clear so I’ll clarify. It’s very likely she’s being used for a source of information and access for the stalker to his victim, her sister. Think about what kind of access your sibling has to you: you’re probably friends on social media, so even if you blocked a stalker, by getting access to your sibl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 12:54 AM
30

Honestly I’m wondering if her future husband pursued her as a favor for his stalking, abusive brother so he could always have a window into his victim’s life. I have no idea why she couldn’t have dated literally anyone else- that’s probably an intentional slight to her sister too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 10:41 PM
55

Take a broken guy, attempt to fix him, and he’ll stay broken and also destroy you in the attempt.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 10:22 PM
10

Up until this month, I’ve been running 12 miles a day. This is coming from someone who as a kid, couldn’t run more than two minutes at a time without having difficulty breathing due to childhood asthma.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 03:46 PM
18

“You’re so out of my league it isn’t even funny.” It’s true, and he’s wondering what exactly is wrong with me for giving him the time of day, and how easily he can manipulate a girl with as low self esteem as mine. Be prepared for him to treat you like the dirt he thinks he is. “You look so much younger than you are/you barely look out of your teens/you’ve got to be lying, you aren’t nearly 30!” He thinks women turn from pretty young things into swamp witches the second the clock strikes midnigh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 06:07 AM
45

I agree with you. As an example, during one of my relationships, prior to finding FDS, I moved in with a guy after my apartment complex doubled my rent unexpectedly to avoid being homeless, and I couldn’t break up with him and have a roof over my head. I was constantly being coerced into sex- we had sex four times a week, he’d beg and whine and cajole while I tried to study or sleep until eventually, after saying no and telling him I had stuff to do multiple times over hours, I’d give in. That w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 11:00 PM
5

Have you read the post where a woman’s boyfriend used (and destroyed) the special candle that her sister made with her a day prior to her unexpectedly passing in a car accident, on purpose, because she was starting to get into a better place and he wasn't attracted to her because she wasn't in intense emotional distress? It’s probably the worst post I’ve ever read on the relationships subreddit and that’s saying something since I lurked there for like 8 years. Links: https://www.reddit.com/r/rel…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 07:05 PM
19

One guy (who I never dated, even at my most pick-me) tried to impress me by saying he was related to the Genovese crime family (said his uncle was a capo). There are several glaring problems with his lies. The Italian mob is, well, Italian. He was Vietnamese. At most, his uncle would be able to be an associate, because to become a made man you have to be Italian. Made men also have to be recommended by someone well-respected in the gang, have that recommendation be agreed upon, be an earner, and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 08:42 PM
25

https://jezebel.com/dudes-demand-for-an-open-relationship-backfires-spectac-1578409074 This one? I don’t have a link to the original post and comments from Reddit but there’s a Jezebel article about it with commentary linked here. Edit: updated link.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 03:23 PM
11

That and nursing, but men in nursing tend to get fast-tracked for promotions and raises, so even when they’re the minority they’re still benefiting from being male.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 04:57 PM
7

No, Kemper also blamed his mom for how he turned out and called her violently opinionated. You know, after he killed the family cat, his paternal grandparents, went to jail for murdering said grandparents, was released from jail, and his mother took him in. Then he killed multiple co-Ed’s, his mother’s friend, and his mom. But those pesky females and their opinions are the real monsters! /s He also had a deadbeat dad that practically no one ever mentions in depth when discussing his crimes becau…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 07:36 PM
45

God no, onions and garlic are the start of something delicious in many cuisines. They’re the foundation of flavor. Don’t insult onions by comparing them to men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 05:08 PM
16

Good points! Adding to your comment: If he pursued and choose to have relationships with “crazy” women, he’s a predator and abuser, not just unstable, and he’s purposefully seeking out women who are mentally ill, traumatized, and who others won’t take seriously.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 01:03 AM
14

Right? Drunk me might eat my weight in tacos or order something sober me is going to be surprised with from Amazon, but even if I was blacked out I’m not going to sexually harass anyone. That’s a bullshit excuse from a man who didn’t expect any pushback from the women he harassed, along the lines of “sorry my friend wrote that text” or “my dog ate my homework”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 03:51 AM
5

I’m honestly shocked there’s two men out there who think water in a park sounds like a good suggestion for a date. I found a reference I made to water in a park guy in my recent comments but not a reply to the actual comment, so this is going to bug me for a while, lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 06:16 PM
3

Wait, wait, wait. Did you post about water in a park guy before? I swear I’ve heard this story on here before and I really don’t want to believe there’s multiple men out there trying to pull that shit. I know, I know, the audacity has no limits and I shouldn’t be shocked, but is there even a bar anymore?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 05:28 PM
9

See, I think the line between pride in ones appearance and fitness and arrogance/vanity is a line where I struggle to find a balance within myself and would find it hard to recognize the line in others because of that. I probably need to work on that so I’m glad you pointed that out. This might sound a little basic but do you have any more advice on how to tell if a guy is on the arrogant/vain side of the spectrum and how you’d vet for that?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 03:33 AM
18

Oh good, I thought you were calling me out for preaching to the choir, lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 03:23 AM
24

I’m well aware. Thank god that most people here don’t glorify the dad bod. I was agreeing with your post.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 03:21 AM
147

Who actually wants a partner who binge drinks and is always home? Excessive fat in your gut area is one of the absolute worst place for it, so yeah you get a comfy place to rest your head, meanwhile pick-me’s guy is suffering from hypertension and a dramatically increased likelihood of heart disease or stroke, and he’s probably going to die or need a carer way earlier than if he dieted. Fat and a sense of humor aren’t correlated. I like my metrosexual athletic men. It’s nice to date a guy who pu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 02:41 AM
7

I usually want to as well, except I used to go off. Trust me I used to write paragraphs, collect sources, and get all worked up trying to educate men who were probably laughing at me for playing into their taunts. Even the little bit you wrote as a hypothetical response will feel like a win to these men because they can’t get attention at all in real life or online without being edgy neck beards. They’re pathetic manospherians who live life guided by nothing more than their cocks and rage that w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 08:10 PM
22

You always get at least one comment on an outrageous post that is pretty much a cut and paste about how the relationships subreddit always encourages people to break up, no one values love and relationships anymore, relationships take work, CoMmUnIcAtE! Excuses for men, excuses for men, stand by your man, ride or die, have you tried being more of a doormat and CoMpRoMiSiNg? Lie flatter while he wipes his feet on you! If you don’t you’re the issue! Did you try asking nicely? If you loved him you …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 12:57 PM
3

I’m from one of those states, similar to you I have relatives from both, and I have a lake cabin in the other so I’m really curious which state you think is the normal sibling and which one you think is the problem child. Honestly I could see arguments for and against both lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 11:38 PM
10

Having boundaries as a patient and exercising your right to choose your doctor isn’t discrimination. Men don’t have the lived experience of being a woman and having a female reproductive system, men frequently dismiss women as over exaggerating, so it’s very common and sensible to not want a male doctor as your gynecologist. Not to mention that the sex who commits the vast majority of sexual assaults shouldn’t be surprised that trust isn’t given to them from the beginning. Even if the OP is one …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 09:03 PM
9

I’m convinced that there isn’t a man who currently exists who some PickMe wouldn’t fight over. Someone will take him on as a charity boyfriend before realizing that ugly men act like they’re the prize once they get attention, and he was single for a reason. I don’t think there’s one standard that women all collectively agree that men must reach before dating: not height, not weight, not must not be a felon, not marital status, not housing, no standards on how many kids, not looks, not employment…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 08:18 PM
20

Yes. In my defense, I was trapped in a lease with him and was just exhausted. I had a demanding major, a required internship that I paid for the privilege of working, my scholarship was dependent on me taking five classes and achieving a B+ or higher on each, and I had a part time job so I could eat. I just did not have the mental capacity to care about the bullshit the man I lived with was doing, and i couldn’t afford to live on my own. My family had the mentality that the second my 18th birthd…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 04:01 AM
4

In general: I don’t drink much, I don’t smoke, don’t do drugs, I wear sunscreen, eat healthy, and drink a ton of water. I mostly cook my own meals, and I meal prep religiously. Physical: I work out daily, usually around 3 hours. I hit the local trails to jog in nice weather. Once snow starts falling I reluctantly go back to my treadmill, and I join a class or two. I also have a membership to a climbing gym because I get bored otherwise. This year I plan on doing a kickboxing class, a spin class,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 01:02 AM
15

A date where you get the complimentary free water cup that is intended for paying customers, and literally nothing else. Since I’m 95% sure restaurants will throw you out for this, I’m assuming this must be done at fast food places. I’m praying that a park water fountain next to some field isn’t involved but honestly I am no longer capable of surprise when it comes to finding out new ways men try to cheap out on women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 05:37 AM
11

Water dates and gum dates. Yeah. I tried to block it out I think. If that’s an actual thing now, I’m going to give up on men entirely and start a women’s only commune. I’m bi so I’ll be just fine. Feeling really sorry for my straight sisters out here. If I ever go through with it I’ll post pictures here lol. Y’all are invited.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 04:34 AM
27

Oh, I forgot Water Bottle Wyatt and Gumball George too. Too many LVM trying to cheap out on dates to remember all of this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 04:15 AM
33

I’m disappointed in myself. How could I?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 03:40 AM
231

Men will complain about how women supposedly expect way too much from them and how impossible and unrealistic our standards are, and here this woman is gushing about doing chores with men and pretending it’s a date. Bruh what standards?! Men, If you can’t get laid it’s on you at this point. Laundromat Larry, Alleyway Alan, and Field Fredrick are getting some so how terrible does a man have look and behave where he can’t find some girl who is desperate enough to settle for him??? Edit to add: non…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 10:47 PM
13

Nah, Annalise Keating suspected her husband of cheating on her and murdering his mistress from episode one yet stayed with him until her students killed him (“the boyfriend did it” after Lila’s body was found, checking his phone for texts from Lila, had her affair partner check his alibi), came onto one of her students (Wes) in order to try and get blackmail so he wouldn’t expose her affair, her relationship with her husband started while he was married to another woman and if I’m remembering ri…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 01:50 AM
24

See, everything-except-sex-isn’t-cheating only applies to men in Scroteland. They really don’t like it when women do the same things they do. Guarantee if a woman has a Pinterest page of ripped, tall, gorgeous men naked except for an apron baking or cooking suddenly he realizes that looking lustfully at other people while in a relationship is toxic and gross, and suddenly it’s not controlling AT ALL for him to ask her to delete it. If their girlfriend is texting her male BFF late at night, the o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 08:29 PM
29

Yes. In my area, if you’re using Snapchat you are A. A teenager B. A pedophile trying to prey on vulnerable teenagers. C. A parent trying to keep up with their teenage child D. A cheater E. Way too into social media for me to bother dating F. A creep trying to exchange nudes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 05:18 AM
56

I’d like to know too. I’m glad you got out safely. Not trying to pile on, but definitely try to leave without the person you’re breaking up with next time because you never know how men are going to act once you’ve peeled off their mask. You handled this really well, god knows I wish I had listened to red flags and had your confidence at age 20.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 05:08 AM
16

Yeah. I take my time getting to know men before I get into the bedroom because if I can’t relax and don’t feel enough of a connection, I’m not going to enjoy sex. I can daydream my way into orgasming with zero touch involved, so you’d think I’d have a super easy time even with a bad partner, but nah.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 03:59 AM
59

Chefs, bartenders, restaurant managers, restaurant owners, venue owners, hotel managers, the hospitality or tourism field in general. Kitchens are rife with drug and alcohol abuse. Hours are ridiculous compared to the pay and stress. Chefs rarely cook at home so you aren’t going to benefit from dating a male cook- you’ll likely get leftovers from their restaurant 3-5 times a week or drive through fast food. They always smell like onions, garlic, BO, and fryer oil, especially their hair. Tempers …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 04:50 AM
9

In answer to your question: Eggplant/aubergine emoji looks somewhat phallic so it’s used to indicate an erection. He’s saying he fetishizes red hair. The emoji is also extremely generous because guaranteed an actual eggplant is much larger.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 05:36 PM
20

Pretend to be so incapable at doing the chores that HE takes over them. Demand HIS praise for basic skills a toddler can master. Complain about HIS cooking. After being so insufferable and making HIM mom you, complain when HE loses any attraction to you and doesn't want to have sex with someone who acts like a young child (because the relationship passes more than a slight resemblance of a mother with a young son, and making someone into your pseudo mother makes them feel like your mother and no…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 01:03 AM
10

Don’t tell men your standards. Don’t tell men what you’re looking for. You got the best-case scenario where he couldn’t even pretend to measure up. Men will pretend to be exactly what you’re looking for. Your honest answers to questions about standards, what you want in a relationship, your ideal future, marriage, family plans, trauma, etc will be used by a deceitful man to make you think you have a connection and that he really understands and wants the same things as you. Your standards are fo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 08:26 PM
28

Absolutely. I’m completely certain that my looks had everything to do with a restaurant owner opening the place hours ahead of schedule, letting me eat free and bringing me new items for my opinion on the menu. He enjoyed doing it too. Hey, if they want to literally serve me for free with a smile, why on earth would I feel bad for accepting it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 08:12 PM
40

Yes. Adding on to your point: Men who say that woman use sex as a weapon believe that they’re entitled to a woman’s body whenever they want, without any regard for her comfort or consent. There is very little chance that a man who feels comfortable saying something like this hasn’t coerced or forced a woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 04:55 PM
3

Unlike those women who can’t take a joke, I make dinner for my man. #girlboss Lol I both love and hate this, because I’m sure someone somewhere actually has this status and is proud of it. Could not be me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 05:55 PM
4

Absolutely, they’re couple goals.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 08:02 PM
6

Turn-ons- appearance A full head of dark hair: medium brown to black. I like curly or wavy hair most. Strong jawline, high cheekbones, full lips. Clean-shaven to light stubble. Muscles. I’m almost but not quite more invested in a well-defined Adonis belt and six-pack abs than I am interested in his dick, lmao. I definitely feel for that pre-commitment while also checking for dick size lol. I can’t get with skinny-fat, too skinny, or just fat men. I want a guy that practically lives in the gym or…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 08:05 PM
63

A man, any man, who complimented me and spent time with me. Didn’t have to be attractive, didn’t have to be responsible, didn’t have to even be emotionally available. Invasive and controlling parents who didn’t allow boundaries coupled with toxically low self-esteem gave me terrible patterns for relationships. I could never do anything right for my parents and I wasn’t loved as a child, so I sought out praise, approval, and love from men I dated. I was told that my need for space and privacy, an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 07:05 PM
33

It’s typical for men who are facing the idea that not everyone wants their penis to frame rejection as if he’s the one rejecting us. The same guy who sends thirst messages and call us goddesses will upon rejection, call us unfuckable fat ugly whores who he didn’t really want anyway. It’s fragile ego protection, nothing more
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 04:41 PM
148

Lol, the same men who find dinner dates too awkward somehow don’t have the same perspective when it comes to sex on the first date. Glad you didn’t fall for it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 01:01 AM
4

I’m sorry you went through that kind of betrayal: both of them were cruel and didn’t deserve you. How long ago was this? How are you doing since? Did you ever have any gut feelings or hints that either of them were capable of that kind of behavior prior to discovery day? Anything that only became clear because of hindsight? You don’t have to answer the questions if it’s too invasive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 03:52 PM
33

Glad you enjoyed it! Seriously though, being in a poly relationship sounds exhausting to me. I can barely find one man I’m attracted to, finding multiple men to date sounds like a whole extra full-time job. How on earth do you have the time or energy?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 02:55 PM
17

I’m sorry you went through that too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 01:07 PM
45

Agreed! When men complain about starfishing, they are usually talking about being with a woman who clearly isn’t enjoying sex and is waiting for him to finish up- they are confessing that they could and did read her signals but they didn’t care about how she felt and continued on selfishly using her body to get off, but she didn’t act like she was in a porno and their ego got hurt. They are telling us that they raped a woman and are blaming her for not performing pleasure for them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 12:51 PM
75

Exactly! There’s actually a song that pokes fun at polyamory, I’ll drop the link here. https://youtu.be/DTsdKycVZZ4
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 12:45 PM
3

We aren’t going to agree. Your explanation is about word choice and definitions, and honestly I just don’t care about the politically correct way to refer to a woman who knowingly sleeps with a married man. Edit to add: I think they’re both responsible- yes a woman can absolutely wreck a home, no she wouldn’t have had an opportunity without the spouse stepping outside the relationship, but she definitely contributed to the collapse and shouldn’t sit there in the wreckage all defensive and go “bu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 11:57 AM
30

No offense and not the person you replied to, but I just don’t get this logic when it comes to women who try to sleep with men while fully aware of the existence of their spouse or girlfriend. Sure, I’m not dating her and she made no vows, and the bulk of my anger will be towards whoever cheated on me, but you cannot convince me that the other woman is completely blameless in that circumstance. Not knowing is completely different, but if she knew about me, by pursuing anything with my hypothetic…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 02:23 AM
29

How did he not see that coming? LMAO He really thought his penis was so special a lesbian would willingly sleep with him?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 08:26 PM
4

Definitely. Her cover of Seven Nation Army is insanely good. I love Haley Reinhart’s voice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 05:13 PM
17

Sucker’s bet, that’s almost certainly what happened.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 04:29 PM
3

Good catch! I thought that too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 09:09 PM
27

There’s an interpretation of the story of Medusa where she was given the ability to turn men to stone after a man raped her in the temple where she was a disciple as a gift instead of a curse so she’d never be victimized again. That’s what I was referring to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 05:47 AM
29

Check out Andrea Dworkin’s works for an introduction into radical feminism. Right Wing Women, Woman-Hating, and Pornography: Men Possessing Women are all must-reads.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 02:41 AM
52

Same as Medusa. A gaze that turns men who stare at me to stone? Sign me up!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 02:38 AM
24

It’s worse than that. People who use safe words usually engage in activities where “no” and “stop” are part of the fetish or kink and are purposefully ignored. Kinksters call this rapeplay or consensual non consent or dubious consent. Men who need safe words are at training themselves to ignore obvious signs that someone isn’t consenting, and are actively getting off when she struggles or objects to what’s going on.They’re training themselves to rape.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 02:31 AM
15

“You’re never like ‘oh sweet’ it’s usually the guy at the Verizon store who wear vests to parties. The kind of guy who’ll neg you at like the continental breakfast buffet but not even confidently neg you, like mid neg he’ll try to shove his hand in his pocket and miss. His hands like a Romanian woman trying to seek sanctuary in an 18th century French church. You know a guy’s got into Radiohead too early if even his pocket rejects him.” Yep, Chris Fleming totally nailed the description. This is a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 10:00 PM
3

Exactly! Or when you’re attractive and know it, you get called bitchy, vain, uppity, self-obsessed, an ice queen or shamed for bragging.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 12:48 AM
5

I don’t think we disagree at all actually, I just got wordy in my last comment and wasn’t super clear. The point of my prior comment is that I think it’s weird when men just assume that gorgeous women don’t know that they’re beautiful and/or think that that quality is a virtue. I think female humility is the result of society breaking down women’s confidence and self worth, one of the direct ways this plays out is in relationships where a man abuses a woman. I think valuing a behavior that comes…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 12:31 AM
12

Yep. If a woman is gorgeous she knows it. It’s ridiculous for men to assume he’s the only one who has said that to her. Looking that good takes work even if you’re lucky and were born with conventionally attractive features. In order comply so completely to beauty standards they still have to diet, exercise, have a skin care routine, put on make up, style their hair, shop, keep current on trends, regularly go to the hair salon, do hair removal, practice good sleep hygiene, and keep stress levels…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 09:51 PM
8

True- hat pins were considered an international threat in the 1900s after women started using them to fight back against predatory men (this is according to the Smithsonian website, check the articles about this out because that was actual female empowerment).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 08:59 PM
34

I was 8 when I first had my period. The idea that a man would get into an argument about semantics over whether pedophilia is the right term for a man who was capable of attraction to me at that age, just because i bled, instead of getting outraged or disgusted that someone would be capable of being so depraved is so fucking sick. How do men like that live with themselves?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 01:47 PM
5

I’ll be honest here: I’m one of those people who start side-eyeing men who want to go on my phone. I’ve been in an abusive relationship and that was my first red flag in that relationship, I already don’t trust men’s intentions until they’ve proven themselves, and I also know that projection is a tell for cheaters, so if he’s going through mine I’m going through all of his stuff. I’m also going to dump him straight after regardless of what I find. Guarantee a man who starts snooping either is la…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 06:58 PM
32

When you used to do that, did your attraction to him end? I’ve been there, and usually whenever I put in more effort than the guy I was with in anything, I quickly stopped seeing them as a capable adult man and any desire I had for him started to vanish.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 07:30 PM
14

Sure, I’ll drop him off on Wednesdays as long as I get Fridays, lol. We’ll create a schedule.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 02:04 AM
12

I use to joke that the only man that can sweep me off my feet is Superman. Since Henry Cavill got the role of Superman, I’ve had to stop joking about that and was forced to admit that it’s no longer a joke, I’ll only date Henry Cavill.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 01:04 AM
7

I know, I’m weirdly glad the original date was such a heel because I doubt I would have met my favorite ex otherwise. You should have heard my voicemails after I left because I totally dodged a bullet. I’ve been there with forgiving men who I shouldn’t have. I don’t think anyone on this subreddit has been FDS from the womb, we all have regrets in the way we dealt with men, and we all had similar messages drilled in our head about kindness, generosity, and forgiveness. Society creates pick-me’s, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 12:19 AM
58

I completely agree with you. I’ve heard a true crime podcast host call Ed Kemper a nice man. Nice means zero to me if the guy who killed his family cat, co-eds, his grandparents, his mom, and his mom’s friend gets regularly characterized as that. Also, seriously, whoever calls a serial killer nice after knowing what they’ve done needs to be committed because they’re a danger to themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 09:41 PM
12

These guys look nothing like the Chad ideal either. They think automatically because they have a penis that they’re attractive. Newsflash to Daniel, my aging male coworker who regularly hits on women who could be his daughter, the Rock is attractive despite his baldness because he’s built and charismatic, your dad bod does not make up for your receding hairline. Just because you have practically no hair doesn’t mean you don’t need to shower.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 09:22 PM
19

After five minutes of waiting from our arranged meeting time for him to show up, I gave up our reserved table and got a seat at the bar. Ordered a drink for myself and asked for a to-go menu, and during that time started chatting with a man next to me. Hit it off, so he grabbed my check and his when it came time to pay the bill, and he asked for my number so we could go on an actual date. We dated for about a year before his lack of critical thinking skills outweighed his (gorgeous) looks. He wa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 08:51 PM
7

lol what world do they live in where women are even close to the level of depraved men get? I have never been afraid to give any woman my number, but with men there’s a whole song and dance involved to avoid getting hurt. If they’re going to lie at least make it convincing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 08:05 PM
7

So that explains some of my male acquaintances delusional self-ratings. Here I thought they had vision problems.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 06:50 PM
11

His idea of sex sounds like nightmare fuel.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 02:56 AM
20

I never thought there could be a worse term for that than child-bearing hips. I was clearly wrong.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 01:13 AM
8

Agreed. It’s not like the men who come up to me and ask for my number are doing so because of my personality, they don’t know me, it’s all to do with my looks. My mom gets weird about my standards- “he might be nice/he looks nice! Looks aren’t all that matters.” Whenever I get flirted with by a below average man. Finally I told her that of course looks aren’t everything, he has to be a responsible and kind adult in addition to being attractive enough for me and she was shocked. I pointed out tha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 01:10 AM
25

I’m sorry you had the misfortune of dating my (pathological liar) ex. It’s like all these men are reading from the same script- they’re horrible in the same ways. Did he also claim that his ex literally passed out from pleasure during that time? Did he try to market his inability to orgasm as stamina and pretend it was a positive for sex to be an hours-long ordeal? ETA: Hours-long of just jackhammering. No foreplay or affection. It’s one thing to spend hours tangled up in each other with a skill…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 11:14 PM
6

Pre-pandemic, I worked alternate second shift and third shift, ten hour days. You would not believe the amount of people who knew my schedule and worked the exact same amount of hours as me weekly would make comments about me “sleeping in” or “partying it up” because I have a three day weekend every week, or talk shit about the pay differential I received. No one wants to work nights, that’s why I get paid nearly double what day staff gets. ETA: the job I work in needs constant staffing, and whi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 03:10 PM
6

Fantastic idea, I’ve got to make one for my exes now. It’s like the opposite of an inspiration board.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 02:49 AM
3

Then men make up a story- guarantee when this guy tells this story, he says he was ghosted and dropped without a word, he never knew that there were problems, that he was so worried about her because he couldn’t find her and no one knew anything. Men like this have no conscience or respect for the truth. Cheaters are never going to admit where they were at fault. She’s the villain to him because she isn’t him, it really doesn’t matter what she does or doesn’t do, he’s going to rewrite her into t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 09:45 PM
22

I see you too have met my ex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 10:03 PM
23

Soz bby, let’s make up. ;) What? It wasn’t a big deal, why are you so upset still? Lighten up, I said I was sorry! What do you want, me on my knees, begging you for forgiveness? Why are you always like this?! Oh my god, you’re so dramatic- really, you’re crying over this?! Women are so manipulative. There you go again- we could’ve had a good night but no, you had to argue. ... five minutes later Hey bby, wanna fuck?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 07:48 PM
7

Pets also won’t insist on being treated like the head of the household (gag) or even a competent adult while you run their life for them. Pets are affectionate and grateful in return for your work in taking care of them. Pets won’t take you for granted. Pets aren’t capable of being fully independent, men are supposed to be. Pets are better than LVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 12:54 AM
7

He must get around a lot, I dated him too apparently, lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 09:58 PM
3

I judge anyone who thinks they can judge me as a person by my music tastes- that opener gets left unanswered because usually men use it as an opening to tell me how intellectual and superior they are for their own choices. I don’t blame you, those conversations on OLD get really old.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 07:17 PM
4

Lol, I’m just waiting for my music taste to become mom music. My music taste basically froze in time- I’ll still listen to newer stuff on occasion, I like R&B and some pop now, but I’m jamming out to basically the same stuff I did when I was in my scene days. I just realize it’s a little embarrassing and don’t subject anyone but my dogs and likeminded friends to it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 01:34 AM
17

The Ramones, The Smiths, or System of a Down. I have the music taste of your ex I think, lol. Emo music, pop punk, rock, and alternative music from the mid 90s to mid 2000s, the angstier the better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 10:10 PM
3

Me too. By the way, love your username.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 07:01 PM
1

Out of all men: 15-20%. I’m an optimist though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 06:48 PM
3

And that will take all the credit for what you do while working you to the bone, criticizing how you do things the entire time. My worst job was still better to me than most of my exes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 03:19 AM
4

My bad, I misunderstood your comment and replied based on that misunderstanding not what you actually said. I totally agree with you. Sleep deprived Reddit commenting is a habit I can’t quit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 02:18 PM
12

I’m sorry- beer dates are a thing? Not tours of a brewery or a beer festival or dinner at a beer garden or nice gastropub right? We’re talking beer at a pub or bar right? Every time I think the bar can’t possibly go any lower, men prove me wrong. If I get invited out for beer, I’m calling him bro and inviting along all my male college buddies and any pretentious hipster I can find on my way there. He can be my wingman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 02:15 PM
35

You’d think but they shut down a lot of radical feminist subreddits that never incited violence while leaving up rape and abuse subreddits. I’m not expecting this subreddit to remain up for long. Reddit is male-dominated, men don’t like getting called out for bad behavior, and men defend men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 02:10 PM
21

She’s confident and assertive. She won’t settle for scraps. She knows what she’s worth and doesn’t pretend otherwise. She’s a queen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 02:14 AM
1

Was this a first date or a guy you’ve been seeing a while?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 10:06 AM
3

Me too. It’s so damn disrespectful to be that perpetually late person. I have ADD and know I have trouble with keeping track of time, so I use technology to manage my life for me- calendar apps, lists, schedules, routines and alarms saved my life. Yet I am consistently 15 minutes early to everything, because I’m grown and the world won’t bend over backwards for my problems. If I can do that, anyone grown enough to be on a dating app can do the same, they’re just choosing not to. Being late shows…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 06:33 AM
4

I leave after 5 minutes. Usually I’ll tell them by text, but if it’s really out of my way, I’ll wait until they text me. One dude was 3 hours late, I found out because he texted me asking where I was 3 hours after our arranged meeting time. I got a spot at the restaurant bar, ordered myself drinks and food, got chatted up by another guy who was more than happy to take his place and ended up on a date with that dude instead. I was out with someone new within 30 minutes of being ditched for a firs…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 10:49 PM
8

So you know my ex too? I can hear his voice saying literally all of this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 10:23 PM
13

Dumped my ex 2 years ago Stayed single Made significant strides in recovering from abuse, therapist is happy with my progress Told friends about what happened Got a promotion and raise Earned an extra certification relevant to my job Lost 60 lbs over three years (prior to FDS) Exercise 3 hours a day, every day Upgraded my clothes Grew my hair to my mid back (it’s curly so that’s really difficult to do)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 08:43 AM
67

It is. He’s trying to test self-esteem and boundaries- see how high women will jump for him. If a woman sends another picture just for him and apologizes, he’s found a new mark to use and abuse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 08:34 AM
3

Sounds like friendship goals to me, it’s great you have a bestie like that
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 08:30 AM
5

nah, I was in MKE at the time. Keep your money though, sounds like you’ve dealt with the same sort of shit from them if you’ve got a guess on which location.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 04:11 AM
36

I agree with Anthony so much Adding: Jared Matt Brandon Brett Brock Brad Kevin Hunter Taylor David
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 09:39 PM
35

I’m racially ambiguous so I get super “fun” comments about my appearance. White men in particular like to guess what race I am using unflattering or sexualized stereotypes. That’s why I refuse to date any more white men, they all have something to say to me, it’s just a matter of when they decide to say it. “Cock-sucking lips”. Don’t remember the context, just remember throwing my drink at him at a party after hearing him say that. I got asked if I was inspired by Kylie Jenner to get my lips don…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 08:54 PM
1

I’m really only weeding out the most obvious red flags- obviously some men are capable of hiding their true selves online. Most men I check into are apparently too stupid to not post every single thought in their head to social media, so I get lucky and avoid having to vet 85% of the men who ask me out in person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 05:31 PM
12

First name, last name, DOB- I run a free background check and check court records through the state I live in. I also google him for any random results I might find, and their OLD username because usually people don’t follow basic IT guidelines and use the same username and password for multiple websites (not to mention how many people don’t update their PIN or use the same code for their phone as their debit card. If y’all recognize yourself in this comment, please update your passwords). If I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 03:57 AM
33

You don’t explain anything- if he demands a split bill, you pay for your share but delete his contact and block afterwards. He failed the vetting so naturally you’re going to move on. Don’t teach him to be better for the next woman, he isn’t going to listen or change and it’s a waste of breath. Men (and women) spend money on what they value. They invest in what matters to them- if $30 is too pricy for them to handle when it comes to wooing a life partner, then that’s not what they’re after with …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 06:15 AM
7

I have cousins who are 6’5, uncles and aunts at 6’0 or above, and my mom is the short one of her immediate family at 5’10. My father’s family is more on the average height side of the scale, but we’re still talking at least 5’10 for men, 5’7 as an average for the women, most being taller. I come from a family of giants- I figured out I was adopted mostly due to the height difference. I’m 5’2- I’m not necessarily looking for a guy a full foot taller than me, but I do know what tall looks like and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 12:29 AM
1

Please DM me the celeb you swoon over, I need more eye candy lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 03:53 AM
23

I know, I hate that too! Men using lol or jk drives me crazy though too. One of my exes overused lol when he was being passive aggressive. Other men use it when they’re trying to push boundaries: male ‘friends’ proving that they’re incapable of being friends with women by asking for nudes then putting lol next to it so that way they can pretend it was just a joke when I block them, randoms who read The Game for the first time and who think insulting women gets them to drop their panties, men who…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 03:49 AM
1

No problem, you’re far from the first person who was confused by our assigned flair. FDS is all about leveling up, even our flairs have a system and ranking, lol. I wouldn’t worry unless you get assigned at-risk, and even then if you read the handbook linked in the sidebar you’ll figure out where you aren’t following the guidelines and can gain back your old flair after commenting consistently and in ways that reflect our guidelines. It’s a pretty fair system- your flair is basically at neutral …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 03:24 AM
15

The throwaway account flair is assigned if your Reddit account is newish and you haven’t posted a lot here. There are a fair amount of people who create new usernames so they aren’t automatically banned from the rest of Reddit so I imagine that’s why the throwaway account flair exists. Once you post for a while and your account ages, or if you post quality advice that gets noticed by the mods, your flair will be adjusted. quality posters go from Throwaway account to FDS Newbie, to FDS Apprentice…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 02:12 AM
6

Definitely. I think Reputation was the start of her really leveling up. Look What You Made Me Do is such a good song. I’m going to actually have to start listening to her more now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 03:33 AM
30

I think it’s this one but let me know if it works or not. https://jezebel.com/dudes-demand-for-an-open-relationship-backfires-spectac-1578409074
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 02:44 AM
97

I loved that story so much. I really hope she dumped the loser who thought he could get better than her and manipulated her into an open relationship. Normally I’m not on the side pieces side but if a scrote takes his girlfriend for granted and tries to play games, I’m on team Karma in the form of one smoking hot muscular tattooed side piece. Hope they ended up together honestly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 09:29 PM
37

Hell no. That’s photographic evidence of why she should divorce that fucker, right there. He isn’t that dumb honey. He’s just an unfixable worthless passive aggressive lazy ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 12:04 AM
20

If I don’t feel a spark, I’m not interested in the guy at all. The spark is sexual chemistry, attraction, lust, and how you get along with someone (if I’m enjoying spending time with him, we’re bantering, and we get each other, I count that as feeling chemistry too- the feel of the conversation is different between someone you feel the spark with and your BFF). For me the spark is all important.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 08:32 PM
94

I’ll never understand how men could possibly think that we’ll believe that them reacting like this to rejection is at all about us. The same guy who’s been thirsting after us and complimenting us will turn around and call us a fat ugly cow (no matter what our weight is, fat is always the go-to insult, and it’s never not ridiculous) and it’s always like “dude, you know I have your text receipts and a working memory, who the fuck do you think you’re fooling acting like you weren’t all desperate fo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 04:25 AM
9

Girl you are far from the only one: If I can’t bounce a nickel off his abs I’m not interested. I like my men ripped. I like being with men who look like they belong with me- I’ve got abs and never miss leg day, why on Earth would I get with a man with a six month pregnant belly? I’ve always thought ‘dad bod’ being seen as desirable was an outrageous lie made by rich men- who sees a beer gut and gets heart eyes?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 12:09 AM
10

Andrea Dworkin is my hero.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 06:10 PM
5

No, you’re probably right, I’m just eternally hopeful that he keeps his crazy firmly directed at women who have the resources and power to be completely safe from him. Taylor swift probably sleeps easy at night because she’s never had to read his love letters. Her staff probably has nightmares though. I haven’t checked since July of last year, and I think I remember seeing there were 700 plus pages on his entry, and a certain amount of comments were just wondering just how dangerous this guy was…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 04:06 AM
2

Don’t be. I actually enjoy this sort of thing. If I ever need a career change I might consider becoming a private detective, lmao.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 03:54 AM
3

Wait, wasn’t that restraining order from a brothel or something? I could swear that he was banned from a brothel at one point. Maybe one of the prostitutes? (Edit to add: your first comment mentions that. Why am I commenting late at night again??? I promise I’m smart y’all) I’ll honestly be surprised if he never ends up in prison or something. If you’ve ever been on the farms, there’s very comprehensive updates on him, everyone basically thinks he’s a ticking time bomb.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 03:51 AM
3

I knew I recognized this guy! I’m off to hate read about him again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 03:42 AM
3

Oh, good, I totally needed to go through an internet rabbit hole again. Thanks for reminding me that I love hate reading this guys posts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 03:40 AM
14

Is this a post from the guy who tried suing Taylor Swift and Ariana Grande? The guy who thinks rejecting a person with a disability should be illegal? The mention of facial paralysis makes me think it is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 09:15 PM
5

The spark, to me, is a euphemism for sexual attraction and chemistry. I’ve met men who are my type on paper, who say all the right things, who I get along with as friends and would consider setting up with a single friend, but who, for whatever reason, I could not feel less attraction to- there’s nothing wrong with them that I could call out or name, but we aren’t vibing. It’s the difference between platonic soul mates and lovers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 09:11 PM
10

I should have said that if he doesn’t look like Henry Cavill I’m not interested. Whoops, typo, late night commenting strikes again. This is why I don’t follow celebrities. Practically none of them are HV, they all end up disappointing me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 04:07 PM
37

I’m two years in to what was supposed to be a temporary break from dating men. Being single and living for myself is really fantastic, not gonna lie, that’s why I extended the break. It’ll take Superman sweeping me off my feet at this point- basically if he doesn’t look like Henry Cavill I’m not interested, lmao.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 03:40 AM
8

They’re telling on themselves and it’s hilarious, lmao.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 03:36 AM
10

Damn girl, keep telling it like it is!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 11:56 PM
6

Nah, Hannibal Lecter abhorred the rude, called them pigs. He would’ve had him for dinner. When even a fictional serial killer/cannibal has better manners than LVM...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 06:18 PM
12

I’ve been running 8-12 miles a day. When I was younger I had such bad lungs that I couldn’t run a mile so this is a huge deal for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 10:51 PM
49

Oh I didn’t know that. Nevermind, I don’t feel as bad for her as I did before. I feel bad for her child though. Still isn’t great to have a husband who cheated while she’s eight months pregnant.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 03:11 PM
27

Wow that’s terrible. I knew he cheated but had no idea that she was pregnant at the time. I feel so bad for her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 02:53 PM
52

Yes! his wife is insanely gorgeous. I hope she realizes she deserves so much better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 02:33 PM
75

That firms up my stance at least. Don’t bother with this dude. He didn’t need to dress up. He didn’t need to plan a date. He didn’t need to drive anywhere. He didn’t need to pay for the date. All he literally needed to do was call you and have a short phone conversation with you, and that was too much effort. You deserve better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 06:11 PM
81

I wouldn’t. His first impression was a no-show to an online date, it’ll only get worse from here. Was this date supposed to be a Skype/video call date or something?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 04:45 PM
5

Great minds think alike!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 04:16 AM
15

I’m pretty sure these men got hit with the struggle bus. They hit the wall at birth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 03:46 AM
69

Ladies, if you need a project, stop at IKEA. I promise it’s actually rewarding to build your own furniture and you’ll get guaranteed use out of it, unlike the man you’re trying to build.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 08:17 PM
7

I definitely love hiking but not with some strange on a dating app- that sounds like an excellent way to feature on my favorite true crime podcasts. That’s not how I’m going to go out, thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 02:56 AM
51

Because up until you leave, their neglect and apathy only hurt you, and that just didn’t matter to him until he faced consequences . For him, the relationship was great! He got affection, praise, attention, support, intimacy, dates, and a woman doting on him. Sure, he’d piss you off and the resulting argument wasn’t ideal because he had to remember you are an actual human being who has feelings and the right to confront his bad behavior, but eventually it’d get back to the status quo, which was …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 06:02 AM
27

Personal experience and anecdotes: Male physical education and health teachers (especially middle and high school) are somewhat likely to be creeps who perve on their female students or they’re obsessed with their glory days. Most of my former gym teachers have been arrested for pedophilia, sexual assault, child porn, and one is a suspect in a murder investigation, so I avoid men in this career path. Football Coaches, if they don’t teach physical education but teach another subject, are usually …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 03:45 PM
6

I’ve been on my longest stretch of being single since I started dating at 17, for about 2 and a half years. Former serial monogamist. I want someone who adds to my life. If I never meet anyone who fulfills my requirements, I’ll be just fine, if I do, that’s fantastic too. I’m at a really great point in my career, which is fulfilling and enjoyable, and I’m on track to advance at a new location, my savings goals are consistently being reached, my physical health has never been better, my friendshi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 11:31 PM
58

That’s hilarious satire, like A Modest Proposal set in the Tinder age. Love her sense of humor.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 05:13 AM
7

He was a nightmare. He got physical with me shortly after that so I was able to break my lease with no hassle from the landlord.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 02:05 AM
10

Funny story about that- we gave his mom a set of what I thought were spare keys for emergencies . I work a relatively unusual schedule at a job that requires overtime, weekends were mandatory in my old position, but the pay was so ridiculously good that I genuinely don’t mind the hours, and since my work was primarily after office hours I was on time and a half before you factored in overtime pay. The hours and days I work make it so that I’m not usually around when people are off work. He worke…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 01:52 AM
7

We dated a year and a half before we moved in together, and saw each other probably once or twice a week prior to that but he mostly drove out to my area. I lived completely on my own and in the more accessible part of the city, and I worked more hours, so it seemed to be a natural decision to make my place the place we hung out most. It was a lie by omission, but I’d say he intentionally hid that his mom did his cleaning. I assumed that a 24 year old man who lived with a roommate that he seemed…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 01:25 AM
11

Yep. Honestly the apartment was spotless when I met him so there was no visible red flag when it came to cleanliness. turns out his roommate cleaned the main areas and his mom would clean his room, but I didn’t find that out until after my name was on an apartment lease with him. I definitely wasn’t planning on adopting a grown-ass adult, he tricked his way into financial ties and a nightmare of a relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 01:10 AM
7

Yes. I only started wearing make up at work in the last three years because I always got comments about how young my face looks and hoped I would get taken more seriously if I put on a little bit of makeup. Prior to wearing make-up, I was constantly questioned about my experience and education because I look a full decade younger than I am (28, constantly get asked if I’m between 16-18). I do get treated more like an authority when wearing make-up and I get a lot more compliments for things that…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 07:00 PM
35

I’m glad you’re out of that relationship! I’m making a few guesses: he’s realizing that if they’ll cheat with you they’ll cheat on you? He contracted an STD? He realized that life with the affair partner isn’t sunshine and rainbows now that it isn’t a cozy secret? Please tell me his affair had consequences.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 05:44 PM
31

Yep. My ex is probably out there taking credit for what I did in the relationship. I know this because while I was in the relationship he tried pulling that bullshit ON ME, the person who knew he couldn’t even reliably bring the trash out. He would come up to me and complain about the mess in the kitchen he made and had the audacity to say he couldn’t do everything. He didn’t even do anything chore-wise, what’s this shit about everything? I hope that the girl sees his apartment and runs, because…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 05:37 PM
4

Oh, you could absolutely be right about the implications, sometimes I’m bad at reading between the lines and I’m a little hopeful that a cheating app wouldn’t be advertised widely on daytime shows. I just thought cheaters usually use Snapchat because everything disappears quickly, and the same dating apps as the rest of us but pretend they’re single.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 08:51 PM
32

Lol, I think the intended message of the ad was to say it was so successful at matching people that you won’t need it long before getting into a committed relationship that will last a lifetime and deleting it, but I totally get your interpretation. That’s a big mistake for their marketing team.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 05:03 AM
10

It’s so low that men have to actually get out a shovel and dig to get under the bar. Yet they still do it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 05:37 PM
49

Realizing that you’re crushing on a version of him who only exists in your fantasies. Unless you’ve actually dated the guy, you don’t know how he treats his partners, if he’s actually good in bed, what he looks like naked, if you’re actually compatible, etc. The version of him you built up in your own mind is almost certainly better than the real guy because it’s fantasy. If he’s your coworker, focus on your work and other coworkers. Try to get to know other people in your office. Write down wha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 11:15 PM
32

Replace him, not the dildo. Add a vibrator to your cart too: apparently the Hitachi Magic Wand comes cordless. Honestly though, be wary of men that get jealous and insecure over silicone, especially if he watches porn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 01:11 AM
3

Yep. I have very curly hair that's nearly down to my waist. You would not believe how many men tell me that it'd look better straight or cut short, completely unsolicited (do I look like I care, random dude at Kruger?). There was a guy I dated briefly who I dumped over his comments about my hair because he was so nasty about it. I told him to date a girl with straight hair if he's so into it, and I'm never going to change my features to become his ideal. This isn't Build-A-Wifey, thank you, next…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 08:21 PM
5

Absolutely. I’m not a GameFAQ, I’m not going to spell out my criteria or give helpful hints so they can fake their way into my pants. There’s no cheat codes. If a man can’t figure it out, there’s plenty more who don’t need a goddamn map and a guided tour.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 05:29 PM
3

I'm ambivalent about piercings on men, which is probably hypocritical because I have three in one ear, two in the other, and my belly button pierced. Considering a stud in my nose too. Also I'm tatted: full sleeve, lower ribcage, ankle, one shoulder. Might get my collarbones inked, not sure yet. I've never seen gauges that are attractive to me, and that's what most men in my area get done. Tattoos, on the other hand, are a hell yes on men and women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/20 01:38 AM
16

Yep, one ex told me that I don't make sexy noises during sex and I should do that because I'm way too quiet- I told him that I don't moan performatively or fake it so perhaps he should focus on what I've already told him I needed to enjoy myself and then I'll get loud. Sex was a huge argument in our relationship and I had already tried to communicate so many times what I like, but he purposefully ignored it and was shocked that I didn't orgasm. So rather that improve himself or genuinely care ab…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 05:31 AM
3

Unattractive Only has pictures with a hat/sunglasses. He's bald until proven otherwise. Beards. I've never seen facial hair that I actually like, and beards hide the jawline. only has group pictures. He's always the ugliest guy in the group. Pictures with kids. Only high school education. Hunting pictures. Pictures with guns. Fishing pictures. Truck with American flag attached picture. Why do you have to be a stereotype, Toby? This guy is usually overcompensating for his height or small dick wit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 03:43 AM
23

Haven't heard from my ex from high school in eleven years, but he tried to hit me up while bemoaning his lack of success at life. Obviously didn't work. Bonus fact: we dated less than two months in high school, and I'm pretty sure the relationship was just so we both could go to prom with our coupled up friend group.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 11:49 PM
4

Subsitute dogs for cats, and I'm in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 02:33 AM
7

When men complain about a woman's high standards, they're letting you know they aren't right for you. I'm not dating a man's potential.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 11:42 PM
23

A lot of the time, yeah. Like you said, women go through a lot to bring one child into the world. Women are also almost inevitably the ones doing the majority of child-raising and domestic tasks and schedule-managing, which pile up exponentially per child. Men tend to drastically overestimate their contributions and minimize or take for granted their partner's labor, plus there's the tendency for abuse to start during pregnancy. Pregnancy and having children under 3 also increases the likelihood…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 07:27 AM
17

Yes, I agree with you completely. Adding to that, showering before, only if your schedule allows it? No, shower before you go out, period! Plan the date an hour later or pick a different day if you're that busy, but goddamn, it's your first impression, why on earth would you choose to screw yourself over so completely? I can't even with this advice. Who even needs this basic shit explained? Aren't they embarrassed? Men. What isn't wrong with them?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 06:05 AM
2

I think that all women should be able to make whatever reproductive choice that they feel is right for them without being judged. You do you, queen. Kids aren't for everyone and with the way household tasks and childrearing falls primarily on women in heterosexual marriages, being childfree is a very sensible path to take for women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 05:21 AM
3

Lived with him. I was mommy, maid, and cook for a man who was convinced he did the majority of the cleaning but couldn't even reliably take out trash. I paid nearly 50% despite him getting his own man cave that I never could enter and he would sleep in the main bedroom with me (always went to bed very late so I'd wake up in the middle of the night because of him). Even roommates would have split by room size. My libido died three days into living together. He ended up coercing me into sex and ev…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/20 09:41 PM
7

Your cats sound amazing and this thread is dangerous because I'm this close to googling the nearest rescue shelter and adopting all the cats even though I'm allergic and would severely regret this whim purchase. I'll stick to living through Redditors with cats, lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 09:35 PM
5

I've had good luck with friends/acquaintances of friends- my best relationship was introduced to me through a friend, who went on and on about the hot vet she took her dog to. I'm a fan of meeting men at casual team sports, charity walks and runs, and some races. I usually form a meet up group/event for afterwards to grab a bite to eat or get drinks, which ends up usually being just singles so it becomes a really good opportunity to make connections, and most of the men who participate have no t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 10:22 AM
15

Damn right!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 09:50 PM
13

You had me at the first sentence, not gonna lie. So glad I read through the full thing before typing out anything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 11:32 PM
3

I only plan on moving in with a man after the wedding. Planning ahead of time, signing a lease or buying the property, and getting the majority of my belongings unpacked can be done ahead of time (like you said, after the proposal and setting a date), but I'm not giving any wifey benefits to any man who isn't my husband, and I plan on enjoying living on my own as long as possible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 09:21 PM
5

Lol you aren't alone. Speed reading is my thing at the price of reading comprehension.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 12:37 AM
5

Hence why I left the date. I'm short and I know it, who'd he think he was fooling? He was trying to convince me that I measured wrong and I was actually taller than I said I was, rather than admit he was purposefully lying about his height by half a foot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 12:19 AM
1

If you can figure out how to stop saying sorry pass me tips, I'm painfully polite even after working years in kitchens. Apparently the Midwestern politeness is a core part of who I am as a person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 10:52 PM
18

Right? Its practically conditioning- in the beginning the abuser is charming, generous, seems perfect for you (love bombing and mirroring). They keep it up for months so you get used to this wonderful attentive man- and then the mask slips a little. Maybe he gets passive aggressive- just a bad day right? Or he starts going quiet- well, we were spending a lot of time together, he can do his own thing. Then he starts expressing dissatisfaction at something in the relationship, and since you know h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 07:18 PM
11

Your comment reminded me- Allegedly all the men I've met have been 5'9 and over (lies). One was a particularly bad liar- he said he was 6'1 and I know for a fact I'm 5'2, and he was maybe four inches taller than me. Which is whatever, I just don't want to be taller than the men I date, and I don't like being towered over so if he was honest I probably wouldn't have cared. He tried convincing me that I was tall for a woman and I just left the date. Didn't even order drinks. Like. Dude, one side o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 06:58 PM
5

I don't think so? What else would you put under there? First name? Pet name? I always seem to date men with really common first names- James, Alexander, Jose, Manuel, etc- first name only in your contacts is how you accidentally send cute shit to your coworkers instead of your boyfriend or hit on your landlord.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 06:21 PM
2

My BFF would do the same for me, and honestly her kids are great. I enjoy being the cool auntie, they like me, and since my BFF is an only child and she basically adopted me at first sight, I'm basically family in every way that matters. I technically have three men on my rotation I could have accepted plans with but I didn't want to dress up for men I'm not too enthusiastic about yet. I take a long time to warm up, they're attractive and seem decent but I don't know them well enough to care too…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 06:48 AM
5

This morning I got brunch with my BFFS then got mani pedis. I didn't feel like clubbing so I am getting some auntie/niece time in with my godkids. I picked up the eldest and got her hair done for Sadie Hawkins (she's going with five other girls), then took her to dinner with her sisters and the other girls. One of the parents will drop her off by me around 10 or 11. The youngest two made a bracelet for their mom and we just finished up making cookies. Managed to get them started on homework, but…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 12:27 AM
3

I just finished getting a mani/pedi with my BFFs after getting brunch together. I'm actually looking after my BFFs kids/my godkids tonight because I didn't feel up to clubbing. So I'm picking them up from school, taking the oldest to Sadie Hawkins, and entertaining the two youngest. We're making a Valentine's day present for their mom and they want to bake cookies- we'll see how long they last lol. They're all sleeping over, and my BFF is bringing over breakfast the next day as thanks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 09:02 PM
6

I always bring enough to cover my meal, so if a guy springs splitting the bill on me I’ll be able to handle it. I usually just smile, pay my part, and then block his number when I get home. He’s stopped courting so I’m no longer interested. In a relationship, I only pay for his birthday dinner and occasional gifts (like if he mentions a book he’s been meaning to read, I’ll pick it up, or I’ll get him a coffee while I’m getting mine if we’re meeting up), and I’ll pay my own way for vacations- I d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 11:00 AM
2

Age 12 was when it was the worst, though I honestly can't remember a time where men weren't creeps. I think I started getting creeped on around age 4? I also hit puberty very early- I was 8 when I had my first period, and by age 10 I had noticible breasts. So I was extremely short, skinny, and childlike (because I literally was a child!) but with huge breasts that did not belong on my frame.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 05:27 AM
10

Most people I know tell me that I'm very attractive. I'm in shape, I have an hourglass figure, and I take good care of myself. I have high cheekbones, almond shaped eyes, full lips, long curly hair, and I'm tan. Honestly I love how I look. I like how I always look sunkissed, I like the wildness of my hair, I like the sharp angles of my face, I like the way my lips naturally pout. Sometimes I wish I was taller, but that's just because climbing on cupboards and counters isn't fun.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 02:30 AM
6

Adding to what you wrote, which I agree with completely, watch out for men who collect trophies or badges for levels of completion. Some of those are near impossible to achieve without a serious time commitment, and even though I'm all for hobby and me-time, sinking hundreds of hours into a single video game is insane.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 04:56 AM
2

Did he seriously misspell the name of the city he lives in? I’m not an expert or anything in Wisconsin city names, but I’m pretty sure it’s spelled Milwaukee. I mean, the sex obsession and porn induced desperation is palpable but for some reason his spelling is more disturbing to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 12:17 AM
1

Lmao, good for you. I was talking about LVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 11:10 PM
2

Mainly Cruelty. This one's obvious. I want someone who is kind and courteous to everyone. Can't cook. I didn't come out of the womb with an apron attached wielding a copper spatula, with the knowledge and skill set I have today. I learned how to cook through trial and error, and I expect any man I date to be capable of making healthy meals for himself prior to me being in his life. Irresponsible. I don't find bad decision making endearing. I expect the men I date to keep their promises, to be ac…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 05:45 AM
17

When men complain about women's high standards/not giving men a chance, they are telling on themselves. They're not concerned about random men or her future love life, they are trying to get into her pants by telling her no one can possibly do x/y/z and b. if they can convince her that the man she wants doesn't exist, she might actually consider sleeping with them. They're not being altruistic when they tell you that wanting stability and love is too much, they're trying to see if you'll slum it…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 06:43 PM
27

I agree with you. Adding to what you said, you just know that if we give broke men a chance, we're going to get asked why we didn't choose better by the same men who think women who date men with their lives together have too high of standards. I'm not dating potential, I'm investing in my future. Yes I want someone who I'm compatible with, and that means someone who has a stable full time job that has around the same earning power as my career. Someone who looks towards the future and is active…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 05:06 PM
32

Agreed. They want A Dr. MommyChefMcBangmaid. Must be no older than 25, be simultaneously a 10/10 but without spending a dime on her appearance or knowing it . because if she knows she's beautiful, she's vain, which is man speak for knows her self worth. A woman who is confident and loves herself won't settle, or be manipulated. And if she spends money on her appearance, men will call her shallow and materialistic as if he doesn't enjoy the end result. She must be smart, but never have her own op…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 06:33 AM
16

Nope, never. All of three people know I even know reddit exists, and they are my bff, my twin, and my older brother, because they introduced me to it. I'm pretty sure my brother just thinks I'm here for the dog pictures lol. The way you and I do this seems pretty normal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 06:23 AM
44

Gina is fantastic and should be our subreddit mascot
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 03:43 AM
25

Are we supposed to guide his dick into the next woman too? Good content OP.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/20 08:42 PM
6

I had to learn that the hard way, unfortunately. Totally agree with you on that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/20 05:27 PM
11

My ex is nowhere near that dubiously successful that you'll recognize his name, thank god, and we're in an area that, while near a relatively progressive city, hasn't totally lost its marbles when it comes to trans rights. He was part of some socialist group that wants to get seats in local governments and organizations, so they pledge to run for various offices so they can try to spread the message and shape the local area. People in our area as a whole that have kids are far more centrist than…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/20 07:58 AM
62

Ran for the school board and lost. He hates children (didn't find out until a year in) so this was solely for political gain, since he belongs to some socialist group. Last I heard he's still bothering his coworkers in his new job. Oh and he transitioned but I'm not about to use female pronouns for the man who coerced me into sex and used his male body to physically assault me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/20 02:15 AM
10

Yes, or a promise to impregnate someone, and also like a line from a slasher movie. I'm pretty sure Scream used that line, and the women he used it on was murdered within minutes of that line being uttered. I'd be amazed if that line worked on anyone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/20 09:57 PM
28

That quote shook me. How the hell did he never think about it? I have no idea how johns can live with themselves. They're so pathetic and desperate for control that they pay to rape women and delude themselves into believing that they're not doing anything wrong, that the women they rape actually enjoy it. How does someone get to the point in their life where they pay for a woman to pretend to want them and have no twinge of regret or shame?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/20 01:59 AM
16

Apparently this post is hitting close to home for some men. I've gotten four comments that have mysteriously disappeared (I take judgy as a compliment, honestly. I have high standards and if a man can't meet them, there are plenty more in line who will compete). We have the best mod team I swear.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/20 05:09 PM
3

You too? He DMed me about a quip I made about being too young to call myself old fashioned with a straight face (called me a landwhale ho) on some post about texting. Ironically just a line later I mentioned that I didn't like messaging because men find it way too easy to be assholes when they aren't looking at a woman's face in person, which he just proved. I guarantee he doesn't have the balls to even look at someone like me in real life, let alone insult me to my face, lmao.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/20 09:59 PM
56

Its unsettling how hot Penn Badgely is even while playing a murderous mega-creep like Joe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 05:22 AM
29

Finance: they’re overgrown frat boys with drug or alcohol issues. Usually raised wealthy and privileged, yet refuse to see they aren’t self made Military: temper, mental health, prone to alcohol and drug abuse, higher likelihood of infidelity and domestic violence, if they’re active military I’m not giving up my career to follow them. A fair amount have an ex wife by 25, some already have children, and I’m not interested in that drama. Also spending that much time apart is a recipe for divorce. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/20 05:23 PM
1

Lol, in high school my friends said I was the Rizzo of the group. They were right. She's an icon.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/20 08:09 PM
6

I can see your point as well, and I did like that Danny tried to change himself for Sandy, I just interpreted the end scene as negating all that work that Danny did because Sandy changed herself to fit him and he didn't actually need to put in that effort. I am just sick of movie makeovers on women in general and would like one movie where the main female character decides to love herself instead of the main male character and refuse to change.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/20 08:07 PM
1

God that sounds fantastic! I’ve got a new recipe to experiment with now so it’s actually even more fun without a set list of instructions, so thank you, this will keep me busy!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/20 05:23 AM
2

Please let me know how it turns out if you try the recipes! I hope you like them as much as I do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/20 05:00 AM
1

Mm, cioppino! If it’s homemade, care to share the recipe?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/20 04:46 AM
5

Flan is an allegedly super simple custard based dessert that looks fantastic. It has several finicky steps that make me question how easy the recipe is actually. There’s two tips I have before I begin: Pay attention to the cooking times. Overcooking flan turns the custard hard and makes it resemble scrambled eggs. Flan is supposed to be slightly jiggly when removing it from the oven, but it will continue to cook when you remove it so don’t be tempted to mess with the recipe. The outside should b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/20 01:21 AM
5

Lol, just started on the margaritas, need to type them out. (edit to add, I replied to someone else with the flan recipe on this thread, check it out) Caldo de pollo is made with whole pieces of chicken and generously cut veggies. I used olive oil, cilantro, 8 bone in chicken thighs, a medium white onion, 3 cloves of garlic, 6 large carrots, 6 large stalks of celery, red potatoes cut into quarters (I am forgetting how many I used), two Roma tomatoes, juice and zest of two limes, Serrano pepper, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/20 12:27 AM
5

Headed to my BFFs house for taco and margarita night. I made flan and caldo de pollo, and I’m bringing the ingredients so I can make arroz roja for the party (fresh rice is the best rice). I’m pretty sure we’re going to get drunk, eat amazing food, and watch the countdown.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/19 11:12 PM
42

I would watch every single episode of this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/19 11:07 PM
30

Sandra Dee in Grease. Well, basically all Rom-com love interests and protagonists are pickmeshas but I'd say Sandy is the worst, because she has an example in Rizzo to do better. Not that Rizzo is great (she's in high school so I'll cut her some slack, I would have rode Kenickie at that age even in that rustbucket too, damn. Jeff Conaway was a total smokeshow when he was in Taxi), but at least Rizzo knows exactly who she is and never gets a makeover or changes her personality for a man. I found …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/19 08:50 PM
35

I agree with you. I'm too young to say I’m old fashioned with a straight face, but I'd much rather give men an opportunity to miss me by not being available by phone 24/7, and I like avoiding small talk and dick pics. I find that men find it much easier to be complete assholes when they're not staring a woman in the face, and that by mostly being unavailable by text, I weed out a fair amount of impatient and entitled men who become abusive, desperate men, low effort men, and ultra boring men (I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/19 06:51 PM
12

Honestly I don't agree on this. I think its more emotionally healthy to distance yourself after a rejection or break up than to cling on to a friendship, and usually after feeling rejected its easy to fall into bad habits (ex: seeing normal friendship as evidence he cares for something deeper, trying harder to attract him, trying to please him, trying to appear like an ideal partner). Basically, the Pickmesha dance becomes really tempting to perform if your confidence is shaken, and avoiding the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/19 03:52 PM
1

I've been single for over a year, close to two years. I've very casually dated since then. The last date I went on was in October- we went on a wine and cheese tasting, then caught a movie at a drive-in theater, and ended up at a local Somali restaurant that's ridiculously good for dinner. The date was better than the guy I was with- he had a hard time carrying a conversation about anything other than wine or his job, which was disappointing because I met him through his work and he was very cha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 10:48 PM
7

Yes! Especially the group photos- the men who only post those are usually the ugliest one in the group, and they're almost always hidden in the photo, not front and center like you'd expect for a dating profile. One had photos with his buddies on a ski trip, and the focus of the pictures was on an attractive, athletic man who I was praying was the man I was talking to. No, it was the dork who was still wearing a hat and goggles in a photo in the cabin, while his friends were dressed normally for…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 10:57 AM
102

"Swipe left if you like pumpkin spice lattes, wear Ugg boots and yoga pants, or if fall is your favorite season." Steve, sweetie, you're just as basic as the women you're putting down. Craft beers are men's pumpkin spice, sports jerseys and cargo pants are their Ugg boots and yoga pants, and don't tell me that you don't like fall too, that's when you go hunting (men's yoga). Outdated picture. Pictures where his hairline is mysteriously obscured. No picture without oversized sunglasses
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 01:43 AM
23

Yeah, I literally can't be on my phone at work unless I feel like finding a new job, and I work second shift 10-12 hours a shift so I'm limited to maybe four hours in the morning that I might get back to someone. This helps me weed out possessive and jealous men- some show their true colors in just hours. I find it a little unnerving when I'm expected to text back right away or when I get immediate responses/triple responses. With my life, I expect a text back in a day at most, since I'm unavail…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 06:30 PM
8

No advice for skin care or makeup(just leaving a reminder to myself to check back for tips on this. I use pretty basic products for makeup and skincare). For hair care, I have type 2C curly hair, so my hair care routine is really only good for people with hair like mine. I use a large comb to detangle before I take a shower, and I shower daily against curly girl advice because my hair volume deflates the second day and looks flat and sad. I use Lush Fairly Traded Honey shampoo or Curly Wurly sha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 06:08 PM
7

Finish a certification necessary for a work promotion (work is paying for it and I'm going to get a promotion in May contingent on finishing the certification) Complete a marathon Complete a Tough Mudder competition Lose that last 15 lbs to reach my goal weight. I'm down 30 from last year, so this is going to be achievable. Get that tattoo I've been wanting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 12:14 AM
4

I've been pretty happy being single. I have a few goals I want to accomplish before dating again (I'm training for a marathon, and I want to run a Tough Mudder event. I'm halfway through an additional certificate that I need for a raise and a promotion at work) and I find since I've been completely uninterested in dating that I get approached nearly every time I go out. Some of my exes have been haunting me too. There's nothing a man can do for me that a Magic Wand can't do better and more relia…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/19 03:27 PM
97

“when I said I wanted exclusivity, I meant I wanted you exclusively interested in me, not the other way around.” Every fuckboi ever, internally
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/19 12:48 AM
47

Subtly flirt with him, then date and marry his brother. If there's no witnesses there's no proof, lol. (Living for these unethical life protips)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/19 11:47 PM
24

Lol, just hang around here more, you'll feel the urge to do that for most of the women commenting here. I certainly do. Probably because I've dealt with manchildren, nothing is sexier to me in a man than him taking care of shit without asking. I value competency and hard work. I also like men who can cook. "I got this." Is the sexiest phrase that can possibly be uttered.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/19 11:15 PM
44

This post got crossposted to different subreddits. I guess even listing examples of bad male behavior we've experienced while dating is too much for them (they called it toxic femininity, lmao).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/19 10:51 PM
19

Exhibit A of why you should never settle. Also why you don't take on projects, and at the first red flag you dump. If you start to lower your standards, it becomes easier to keep lowering them. Dating someone you aren't feeling super interested in turns to forcing attraction and ignoring signs that someone isn't right for you. Unfortunately I had to hit rock bottom and claw my way out before I realized that some men are trash and are happy remaining that way, and that some men enjoy lying and hu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/19 10:23 PM
38

Right? I'm like anyone else- I enjoy sex with an attentive partner who I respect and am attracted to. I need to feel wanted and respected though, and my manchild ex may have wanted sex, but he didn't want or respect the actual person I am or he'd never have pulled that shit. I don't think he respected himself either, or he wouldn't feel so comfortable playing stupid. Who wants their partner to think they're failures at being adults? I know it's a manipulation tactic and it works, but I can't ima…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/19 10:12 PM
150

Never think that a man's dependance on you is anything but a performance, and God help you if you find his incompetence endearing. He has made it to whatever his age is just fine without you. He knows how to manage his time, he is capable of cleaning his house (even if he doesn't actually clean that's a choice), he is able to cook or use youtube to find out how. Men aren't stupid, and they'd rather you think that they're incapable of being an adult than actually put in effort. They know what an …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/19 06:46 PM
288

Pretend to be so incapable at doing the chores that HE takes over them. Demand HIS praise for basic skills a toddler can master. Complain about HIS cooking. After being so insufferable and making HIM mom you, complain when HE loses any attraction to you and doesn't want to have sex with someone who acts like a young child (because the relationship passes more than a slight resemblance of a mother with a young son, and making someone into your pseudo mother makes them feel like your mother and no…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/19 06:13 PM
109

Jesus Christ, those comments are just proving you right over and over again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/19 06:06 PM
26

I'm in. I'm all for not entertaining men's bullshit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 06:46 AM
4

Very strict and hypercritical mother, physically present on the couch but completely neglectful father who didn't want a daughter, both were physically abusive. Neither of my parents seem to have actually wanted to be parents, it was basically a check off the task list. I never felt like they loved me, and even though I cut ties eight years ago, I still miss the idea of family, just not them. I was so desperate to be loved that in the beginning of dating men, I had no boundaries. I hadn't achiev…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/19 04:04 PM
23

You've already said no, hold firm on that. Don't reward a man who doesn't take no for an answer. Edit to add: I think that his insistence is a red flag, tbh. Men I've dated who have tried to push past sexual boundaries have also ignored nonsexual boundaries I put up, and ignored me saying things they didn't want to hear. He may be trying to be sweet, but you know you best, and you need to recover, so he should take you at your word. At best he's clueless, at worst he's testing you to see how muc…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/19 04:25 AM
1

Right? I know that a cars value declines rapidly as soon as I take it off the lot, but at least the car has value. The same cannot be said for men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/19 11:25 PM
6

I'm so glad happily married women are on this subreddit and giving advice! I misread your comment about sports stuff prior to watching the clip and was disappointed he had a single pair of rollerblades instead of a single rollerblade, lol. That line about never getting so lucky before made me feel bad for J.Lo's character. Christ, some men will never acknowledge how lucky they are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/19 01:05 AM
4

I should give credit to u/necessarycook who pointed that out on another thread, when I posted a similar comment about how to identify pornsick men (I had mentioned the word cum as pornified language, and another user wondered what else you could call it).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/19 03:52 AM
19

Referring to performing oral on women as pussy-eating. I hate the word pussy so much, and combining it with the idea of eating is gross. It's violent, cannibalistic imagery. Also pussy and kitty are weirdly infantile ways to refer to the vagina. Violent words about sex- gagging for it, meaning she allegedly was very into sex. Choking on cock: self explanatory. Smash. Brutal/rough sex. Messed up her make-up/ruined her make-up (ie, girl was crying). Ruined her, tainted her (reference to first time…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/19 02:52 AM
19

Heads up that my post is kind of graphic Porn sick men: -Are more likely to brag about how good they are in bed. They are actually terrible in bed: either they can't get hard, they can't maintain an erection, or they can't finish easily so sex lasts way too long. Sex is mechanical and he'll never bother to find out what pleases you, because he's going through a list in his head or performing for an imaginary audience -Have a full list of kinks that they want to try with you, all with pornified l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/19 08:55 PM
16

My ex wasn't as blandsome as Chris Evans (never quite got the craze for him, Sebastian Stan was so much better looking if you have to fall for a superhero movie actor. Blondes, bleh), but that personality sounds similar, lol. My ex looked like Josh Bowman on Revenge, and I'm not ashamed to admit I basically watched the show to see the man shirtless and in suits lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/19 10:32 AM
47

I dated a 10/10 guy who was very very gullible. So pretty, just could not critically think. Very attentive, charismatic, a born salesman, successful as a real estate agent, great in bed, but he’d believe anything that anyone said. Could not understand metaphors, took everything literally, sarcasm as humor flew by him. He knew he wasn’t a critical thinker, so he relied on me, and to his credit, he was humble and willing to admit when he didn’t know something, and was very eager to learn new thing…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/19 08:10 AM
29

"I contribute more than my fair share of housework." - My ex, 2012, while being dumped for refusing to take out the garbage to the curb, which was his only chore. "My exes never had a complaint about sex." - same ex. Hint, they were lying, he didn't do foreplay and I didn't have an orgasm in the three years I dated him. Seven years ago, I had very low self esteem and was a PickMeisha. I did everything for that man aside from pay his portion of the rent. I was the only one who cleaned, and he onl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/19 07:41 AM
15

Same. It hasn't dropped much, but its frightening to look back at how tiny and young I looked at 12 and remember the sexual harassment I was subject to. Just goes to show how common predators and pedophiles are in the world
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/19 04:07 AM
30

Yes. Its totally creepy. I'm 5'2 and not only am I petite, I am consistently thought to be on the border of legal (17-19 is the range people have guessed the most. HR at my work had definitely been confused looking from my resume with 8 years of related experience and a bachelors degree, then looking at me). I'm 28. I definitely struggle with men who cold approach me, because I'm worried they're attracted to the idea that I'm young or naive. Basically I'm worried about attracting predators and a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/19 04:03 AM
9

Good job! I didn't think there was words to communicate effectively how badly he fucked up, so I got physical while yelling to emphasize my point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/19 02:12 AM
4

Might be because they looked up to their older sister when they were growing up, and learned early on to respect women
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/19 01:49 AM
9

Nice but not necessary for 1-3 months. I usually get small things around that time (my favorite small gift was a holiday themed coffee mug with a blood orange dark chocolate hot cocoa mix, and a peppermint hot cocoa mix. I collect coffee mugs and blood orange is one of my all time favorite flavors so I was really pleased with the thought behind it. We'd only went on two dates prior, so it was a nice surprise)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/19 12:32 AM
7

Go for those with friends. The best taco places tend to be food trucks or tiny hole in the wall places, which isn't how you likely want to set the standard in a relationship. Tacos are basically life to me so I feel you here, but if a man knows he can win me over with meals less than $15 why would he ever pay for the lobster I also love? In general, if he can get you at your best without any effort or minimal effort, why would he put any more effort in?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/19 11:32 PM
34

Absolutely true in my experience. The men who treated me best were always incredibly attractive and had many things going well for him. They don't feel the need to put me down to feel better about themselves, because they are already on top of the world and doing the best they can. My best two relationships were with men who looked like they stepped off the runway, one who had a successful career in real estate despite the market (his parents were a big help since it's a family job), one who was…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/19 10:57 PM
2

I’m not a fan unless you’re in it for just short term fun. I’ve dated men 14 years older than me, we had nothing in common to make a relationship work but he did treat me very well. Very upscale restaurants, dinner theaters, shopping trips where I’d point and he’d swipe his card, I’d go to his company holiday parties and events and he’d buy and lay out what he wanted me to wear. I tend to be the more dominant person in any relationship which to many men (I’d argue most men, even traditional men,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/19 10:30 PM
1

I’m surprised he still had my number, I stopped blocking him eight or so years ago (you have to renew the block every 6 months on my plan which is a pain in the ass, and I had deleted his number by then). We weren’t in a serious relationship by any stretch, it was high school, I wanted to go to senior prom as a junior, I hinted around, he asked me, we spent time with our friends at prom, and I’m pretty sure he took me on two dates after that (hibachi restaurant and a dinner theater) and that was…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/19 10:06 PM
4

Ha! My ex from high school (almost a decade ago) just messaged me and asked to catch up over coffee after being no contact since 2009. I asked him if he got dumped, and he made up some shit about still living with his supposed ex because she's broke, even though she was still listed as his girlfriend on his Facebook profile. Why on earth do men think this will work?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/19 10:56 AM
33

I elbowed him in the throat and yelled at him. Asked him what the fuck he was doing, asked him if he was really that fucking stupid to try that shit without consent or if he was trying to be an abusive rapist. He tried the 'wrong hole' porn bullshit that's in reality rape, and I have a fight reflex which actually served me well for once. After I elbowed him, I shoved him off of me and got dressed and went to my BFFS house. I realized that since we were hooking up already, I was far less likely t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/19 10:20 AM
9

DM = Dungeon Master in Dungeons and Dragons. Basically he spends his free time building elaborate fantasy worlds and adventures that follow some sort of rule book, for his friends to attempt to get through. Even if this guy was smoking hot, mentioning D&D on a profile should make you swipe left. It takes up a lot of time and people who are drawn to it the most are usually the DMs, and really socially awkward.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/19 04:28 AM
4

Ghosting only occurs in a serious relationship, and should never be applied to someone you’ve never met. I get hit up by 40-60 men a week while OLD, I respond to maybe 2 of them. I don’t have the spare time to chat with all the men who are interested in me, and I don’t owe them a message. Now I’d agree I was ghosting if I dated them regularly once a week for three months, but just running out of things to say and letting the conversation fizzle out? No, that’s just using my time wisely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/19 04:17 AM
240

Most glaring red flag Putting himself down. He’s either trying to get sympathy (which is manipulation, don’t fall for it), being honest about who he is (so take it as a gift and move on), or expecting you to fix him. You aren’t his mommy, his therapist, his life coach, or bound to him, so don’t try to fix him or save him, he’s just going to resent you and blame you for staying because he warned you. Worst flag I fell for: Misrepresenting himself. He was extremely nice in the first few months, wa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/19 04:01 AM
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