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jasmine-blossom Archive

View 3 posts and 455 comments by jasmine-blossom on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Literally go your own way right now, dude. It’s all up to you. Begone! We release you from your cage. Fly away home!
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/24 01:15 AM
1

No sweetheart, in your delusional belief that only 5% of men have what women want, you must be talking about the men who are stable, mentally healthy, and safe to be around. I’d like to believe that’s more than 5%, but you clearly have a lot more misandry in your heart than I do. And if women can’t find a man who is stable, mentally healthy, and safe to be around, we would rather remain single, and are happy to do so. If you are so concerned about not being picked, why don’t you make yourself so…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/24 01:14 AM
1

Hahaha yup
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/24 01:12 AM
4

That’s just contouring for men, babe!
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 06:57 PM
1

I’ll agree to it if men agree to shave their beards (or not shave at all if theirs is all patchy and incomplete) and never get hair plugs or any hair maintaining stuff. I barely wear makeup as is so all I’d be giving up is the fun stuff I do for going out and special occasions. Lmfao 🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 06:49 PM
17

He feels insecure in his ability to be loved unconditionally, so he compensates in some type of way, occasionally this means compensating by seeking female attention.
/r/askFDS26/07/21 09:23 PM
2

The idea that “women are the gatekeepers of sex” is bullshit. Everyone has to consent to sex, and sex isn’t a commodity, it’s an experience that people share together. Ugly people of any gender are going to have a harder time getting laid, and no one should be tying their self worth to how “fuckable” they are to the opposite sex. And if you’re not “fuckable” the opposite sex, don’t go around fucking blaming everyone else for it. We’re all just trying to find chemistry and connection dude, women …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 04:16 PM
9

It’s a huge waste of time and money; women spend inordinate amounts of money on useless crap that’s supposed to enhance our beauty but it’s all a con. Health is important to invest in and that will naturally enhance beauty but beauty itself? Total waste to spend time and money on that.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 12:04 PM
2

These guys are so determined to blame women for everything that they are seriously denying that men manipulate women in sex and relationships. It’s not like we’re saying that women don’t manipulate men in sex and relationships; men also are vulnerable to manipulative and abusive people. If they took like five minutes to read anything about abusive relationships and how they develop they would understand exactly what they’re saying that’s so stupid.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 11:56 AM
5

That guy legit sounds like a sociopath.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 11:52 AM
1

You’re so close and yet so far away. Men believe that being able to have sex is something that they can earn or steal from women and getting it gives them value, because they believe that women have more value if they are sexually desirable. Men devalue any woman who does not meet their standards of attraction, so men believe that women are the same way, and that if men are not getting laid, that means that women are devaluing them. However this line of thinking is completely wrong in the first …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 11:50 AM
3

I know a lot of guys who would claim that they didn’t lose their virginity too young, but those guys clearly have emotional issues from losing their virginity too young, which is particularly obvious with the way that they talk about and relate to women and the kind of relationships that they are able to have with women. Having sex before you are ready or in an unsafe circumstance is harmful to men and women (or rather, boys and girls, since we are talking about underage people).
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 11:42 AM
1

You didn’t read my comment correctly, I specified nearly passed out as well. The laws against rape regarding too drunk to consent don’t just involve somebody who’s had a few drinks, but somebody who is past the point of being able to be capable of consent. You obviously disagree with those laws, and I think you’re a rape apologist. You have no idea what my research background in rape and sexual assault is, so your assessment of me is not accurate. I’ve done a lot of research on false accusations…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/21 08:53 PM
2

I’m sorry, was your comment about Women getting away with rape? Because to me it looked like your comment was about “gyno centric US law” that criminalize raping a drunk person, laws that you said you disagree with. So excuse me if I don’t believe that you give a single solitary fuck about men who are raped by women. And for the record, it’s incredibly difficult to prove rape in court for either sex, which I would know because I am currently trying to get my rapist to face any kind of legal cons…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/21 08:00 PM
2

So I can take a drunk man home and fuck him when he is passed out or partially passed out? Fuck him and never get his consent because he’s too inebriated to even have a conversation? That’s news to me. I’ll bring my big friend Jon with me. He doesn’t need to get consent from the drunk man either, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/21 11:59 AM
1

It scares rapists when you talk about how obviously somebody whose mental capacity is impaired by substances isn’t capable of consent, because then the rapists tactics are no longer legal. The rapists are going to keep whining about this bc they are afraid of getting caught.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/21 11:52 AM
11

This is a fantastic post with really really useful information. Getting to know all of the red flags to look for is so important in any relationship a particularly if you are a young woman who hasn’t had a lot of dating experience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 02:24 AM
73

I’m a member of several of the rape and assault subs, and yea we constantly have to tell women not to respond to dms and report men in the comments who are violating the rules of the sub. Lots of women have reported that men go into their DM’s and harass them. I’ve never had to face this myself, although I’d like to see them fucking try, but it is always a concern for people who join the sub and don’t know that predators troll it in order to look for vulnerable people to target.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 02:05 AM
91

While there are the rare exceptions, most older men who pursue relationships with younger women are seeking a power imbalance, someone who doesn’t have a strong sense of self so they can mold her into the woman they want. There is a lot of predatory behavior from older men, and they target younger women who are too polite or reserved to advocate for themselves. I’ve worked several jobs where I was in charge of a group of women in their early 20s and sometimes even teens, and the number of men th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 01:46 AM
239

Raising girls and boys on porn is also raising lambs for slaughter.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 06:24 PM
98

In a healthy relationship, both partners feel desired and appreciated. But that also means both partners need to meet the others standards, respect the others boundaries, and put in effort to be their best self and be reciprocal in the relationship. Many men want the women to do all of this for him (including making him feel desired), but have no interest in being the kind of partner to her that would deserve that treatment. If you aren’t meeting her expectations in the relationship, you can’t e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 02:23 PM
8

That was embarrassing to watch. I felt second hand shame for all of those couples.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 11:53 AM
53

Of course, and pickmes in particular piss me off when they do this bc they should be able to recognize that not all women have the same situation they either have had or think they would have.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 01:32 AM
202

The absolute most important thing for pregnant women to experience during childbirth is whatever is going to cause her the least amount of stress and the most amount of comfort and support. If that means that the father cannot be in the delivery room because he is stressing her out, so be it. Elevating a pregnant woman’s stress when she’s trying to give birth is extremely dangerous. Her comfort, her safety, her choices must be prioritized.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 01:25 AM
20

Fucking LOVE Gail Dines! I’ve been following her work for well over a decade. She is such an inspiration and her analysis of neo liberal individualistic culture and the descriptions of all of the interconnected issues of porn, feminism, masculinity, power..etc are so valuable and brilliant. I would love to see her work with UK psychologist Dr. Jessica Taylor, who just published a study of 22,000 women in the UK to find more accurate information on sexual and interpersonal violence. I actually se…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 11:16 PM
37

It all goes back to consent. I didn’t consent to my friend using me in his masturbatory fantasies, so it’s not ok. I do consent to my boyfriend thinking about me in that way, bc I trust that he sees my both as a sexual being and as a person. It’s the men who are “confused” about consent that seem to think it’s all good as long as the woman doesn’t say anything or doesn’t know. Somehow I don’t think they’d have the same perspective if it were them in some other mans fantasy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 02:41 PM
0

I agree with you, I definitely don’t disagree that women should be compensated at the minimum for the household labor they are doing. My comment was about how men shouldn’t be able to pay their way out of helping around the house, unless that is what the woman wants and she is capable of taking on that much labor without burning out. Even if that’s what they agree on, that’s an insane amount of work for one person to take on (especially if they have young children).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 09:30 AM
0

I understand the point of not doing 50-50, especially if the woman is making less money than the man is, I was more just trying to point out that men being given the responsibility of protectors and providers has never actually resulted in women being much protected or provided for, and especially without being tightly controlled as a result of that protection and providing. There are definitely things that a woman who wants to be a stay at home wife or stay at home mother can do to protect hers…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 02:07 AM
20

I’m glad you made it out of your situation too, I went through almost the same process except I ended up believing I was a lesbian instead of bisexual for a long while bc I just lost all attraction to men bc of my abusive ex’s actions. More women should be taught to trust our bodies and intuition. We spend so much of our lives being lied to, told that we are unreliable narrators of our own experience. Until we realize that connecting to our bodies gives us knowledge and power, we will end up in …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 01:48 AM
60

One of the best things that I’ve learned about my body is that it’s very intuitive and will tell me when something is off. I’ve had two relationships with men that had periods of time with dead bedroom. In both cases, I was unsafe with those men but didn’t quite realize it yet. I thought there was something wrong with me, but really there was something wrong in the relationship. Now I know if I lose sexual interest in my partner, or if the sex becomes too painful that I can’t have sex anymore, i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 09:10 PM
5

Dated a guy for five years, at one point I thought I might change my longtime stance against marriage for him, but he ended up being abusive. His problems are alcohol and anger issues, so when I finally dumped him I said he should go to a therapy group for abusive men, which he did (sorta helped, sorta didn’t). He’s since dated two young women in their early twenties (he and I are both 30ish) and one dumped him for being an asshole and I’m waiting for the shoe to drop on this new one. I’m still …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 08:00 PM
12

Not applicable. In all other forms of work, there are standards that are put in place, like OSHA safety standards, to protect workers. Are all businesses always upheld to those standards? Of course not, many businesses try to get away with not respecting workers rights. However, sex work is an industry in which any attempt to instill any safety rights for workers would not be successful in the industry based on what the work literally entails. Remember when they tried to get porn producers to ma…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 06:24 PM
1

They would not love attention from women whom they aren’t attracted to. If men were bombarded with unwanted sexual advances the way women are, they would not find it flattering, they would find it scary and weird. Men just think they would like it because they forget that it’s unattractive, unwanted attention.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 04:53 PM
12

Yes, this video just confirms my decision to dress down as often as possible. The attention from men is not worth the risk and the disadvantage of their predatory behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 06:16 PM
15

I also want to recommend the gift of fear, and both u/lunatigre and u/lavender_flow made very important point here. This is a big red flag that highly suggests he is trying to set up a scenario in which you “owe” him.
/r/askFDS06/06/21 01:22 AM
21

Being ugly (or rather, dressed down/not dressed to be attractive) is awesome. I feel like I still get a decent amount of respect but not the negative attention I hated when I dressed in a more flattering way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 09:16 PM
39

Women do need to know that if they aren’t interested in marriage, that’s a very valid choice, but you should still have high standards and solid boundaries when you are dating to enjoy someone’s company. Not wanting the ring doesn’t mean you should indulge a bunch of f**kbois and be a bangmaid for some jerk who doesn’t respect you. Have those high standards regardless of your relationship goals.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 12:41 PM
12

I also date only for the experience and the journey with that person, but that also means I have very high standards for whom I choose to allow into my life. I know I’m very happy alone, so anyone who wants to be part of my life and whom I want to be part of my life has to be worth the time and energy. It only makes sense to operate this way if you are very sure you are not interested in marriage. I’ve been disinterested in marriage since childhood, and always assumed I’d be alone, so having lon…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 12:27 PM
121

And it’s a “normal part of every man sexual health“ that’s only been around for less than 50 years. Lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 12:04 PM
1

I’m not sure I’d be allowed to discuss it openly on the sub (I would if it is allowed, I just don’t want to break any rules) but I’d be happy to have a private conversation about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 11:57 AM
4

Hope you find them interesting, and don’t feel pressured to read all of them, I just try to cite my sources when I can!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 11:49 AM
29

There’s actually been a lot of study on this I believe though I would have to dig through a whole lot of information to find the studies we used when I was in college. Little girls are often raised to be more fearful of getting hurt, they are raised to believe they are more fragile, and they are raised to believe they are more physically incapable. Startlingly, this starts extremely early, like in infancy. The example that I can recall from memory is that toddlers who were climbing an incline we…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 10:58 AM
17

I have to correct a few things here. Violence and aggression from men is not a result of not being able to express their feelings. Violence and aggression from men as a result of wanting to exert control over others; it’s a product of entitlement, not repression. Researchers and experts who study interpersonal violence have found this time and time again. Everyone gets angry, and everyone needs an outlet for their emotions that is healthy. That should be taught and encouraged in all children. An…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 07:22 PM
17

I’d love to hear your input as a teacher. I only have insight from the research side of things, and am certainly no expert.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 07:10 PM
27

Yes! Love this comment. I have a minor in women’s and gender studies and in particular studied sociology of gender, and if there’s two things I took away from that class, it’s that gender socialization starts so young (in utero) that there is nothing truly “natural” about it, and that no matter what cultural differences in gender roles there are in various societies throughout the world and through history, women almost always are subjugated via gender roles, bc having a role that one must adher…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 06:34 PM
10

Boys and girls prior to puberty have the same levels of testosterone. The podcast was talking about children in preschool and early elementary school, and at those ages, there are no real hormonal differences between boys and girls. It’s when puberty starts that those levels change significantly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 06:19 PM
24

This is such a great comment. Another thing I want to add about encouraging men to take in a protector role is that it inevitably leads to men deciding what women need to do to be protected. Women become the “treasure” or “princesses” that men need to exert power over in order to protect. Think of how many abusive men start off their abusive behavior by exerting forms of control that involve constantly demanding contact and checking in with a woman, or not allowing her to go out on her own or wi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 06:16 PM
12

Those aren’t the only two ways to meet people. Spending time in hobby groups, making friends and meeting friends of friends, volunteering, attending public events…etc are all ways to meet potential partners that aren’t cold approaches in public or old.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/21 01:14 AM
111

One of my rules and boundaries in my relationship is no name calling, no raised voices, and no physical intimidation/displays of anger. After my last relationship I decided I will never put up with a mans anger again. Any disagreements are solved calmly with our words, like mature adults. I paid very close attention to how my bf handled his anger before we dated. He has a very stressful job and I needed to know he would be able to manage that and I needed to know that he would never be aggressiv…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 12:45 AM
36

I think this is where some of us may not personally align with some of the FDS perspective. If you are a woman who is looking for something very traditional, then the specific rules that FDS has for gender roles might totally work for you. But if you are a woman who is not interested in being particularly feminine or aligning yourself with the patriarchally defined feminine gender role, than most of the advice will still be great (vet away! Dump him if he shows red flags!) but some of it won’t r…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 12:04 AM
1

Have to add this: “Between the ages of 6 and 10, youths saw similar testosterone levels regardless of sex. At the age of 6, total testosterone concentrations for male and females in the 50th percentile were 1.9 ng/dL and 2.4 ng/dL, respectively (P<0.64).” source
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 11:53 PM
23

The problem with the way she was phrasing it is that not only did it suggest that all little boys are naturally violent, but it also denies that anger/aggression is a human trait and not a gender specific one. Little girls have all sorts of anger as well and all sorts of aggression, it’s just that often times we don’t see it as visibly because they are taught to internalize it and turn it on themselves. That’s why a lot of girls develop eating disorders and self harm behaviors. Teaching children…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 11:49 PM
39

I really appreciate you taking the time to respond to my comment. I’m also really looking forward to your response episode and I really want to understand and respect where you are coming from even if I choose to operate a little differently. I guess my biggest concern is that it seems like a form of settling to just try to re-create a new version of gender roles that favor women, rather than just rejecting the roles, and rejecting any guy who believes women should be cooking and cleaning more, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 11:44 PM
40

Oh yeah I had so much to say about this episode but I try to limit my comments. I get the intention behind what was being said but the reality of it just doesn’t line up with the goals. It’s a pipe dream to believe that teaching little boys that they as males are the protectors of “weaker” girls (little boys and girls have approximately the same physical strength until puberty) is not going to come with the belief that they are superior to girls and women. All children should be encouraged to st…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 09:11 PM
79

There are always going to be people who use the dismantling of gender roles as an excuse to be an asshole. But the dismantling of gender roles does not mean that people aren’t allowed to be more masculine or more feminine if that’s what they want. What it means is that nobody has to be any way if it doesn’t feel good for them, and it acknowledges that everyone is a combination of masculine AND feminine traits. And all of these traits are human traits anyways, none of it really has to do with bei…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 05:15 PM
65

So are we like just deciding that gender is natural now in feminist discourse? All that shit about socialization that we studied and learned is now out the window and masculinity is natural to boys and femininity is natural to girls even though we know that that’s not true?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 05:09 PM
19

Here’s a link for some good anatomical information about the clitoris. Most women are only taught about the areas of the clitoris that are visible externally (if they are taught about it at all), but the clitoris actually extends beyond what we can see. I hope this helps some women understand their anatomy better!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 01:28 PM
7

Yes girl this is my exact experience with the poly community. So many of them think they are so more evolved and it’s just like group delusion. Your poly relationship isn’t better than my friends mono relationship, and my poly relationship isn’t better than anyone else’s just bc it’s poly. I’m on the poly sub but I’ve never participated and I’ve been considering leaving and I have absolutely no interest in joining any poly community stuff irl. The mindset behind all that is very toxic to me. Man…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 01:02 AM
8

I’m not “in the scene” but I am in a modified poly “V” type relationship and though it’s the right thing for me, I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone, especially other women. The “free love” kind of shit just hurts women and puts them at risk of stds, and most women (and people, for that matter) want the standard things you get in a traditional relationship, so they’d feel unsatisfied with being poly after a while, or develop jealousy or other problems. It really only works for a few, boundaried, n…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 12:58 AM
4

I agree with you completely, I just think a lot of people have no idea how toxic it is to play out those ideas bc the media is full of propaganda saying it’s fine as long as it’s “safe, sane, and consensual.” People don’t want to look beyond that and so a lot of young people are being led to believe that this type of roleplay is normal and acceptable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 09:13 PM
15

These kind of situations are exactly why BDSM it’s so dangerous for women (or anyone in the “submissive” role). When you are experiencing trauma, it is almost impossible to cognitively recall the one word or signal that you initially agreed on would stop the trauma. Cognitively, our brains short-circuit when we’re experiencing trauma. That’s part of why there’s something called the freeze response, where the person literally cannot move because their body and brain are frozen in place. When we a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 12:33 PM
6

Honey, I hope you know that you are not weak and you are not a failure. His actions are a reflection on him and not on you. You are a powerful, beautiful, and inspiring woman, and you are going to move on to do bigger and better things than you ever imagined. I was once where you are right now, and that pain and shame can feel all consuming. It’s ok to allow yourself to feel all of that right now. You are allowed to feel and express every feeling you have and not try to hide or suppress those em…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 02:08 AM
48

Sister, you are wise and wonderful. Thank you for sharing. That last paragraph in particular speaks very strongly to me, as an extreme introvert myself, and a woman who has come to realize that she always was marriage free, child free, and cohabitation free, even though I tried to conform for a while. I can follow my own path, as the brave women like you have done before me. Brava!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 01:53 AM
5

Sure! He comes over to my house quite a lot because I have my own space, so we share the responsibilities of cooking and cleaning when he comes over, and he also treats us to dinner. Recently I had been cooking for us a lot and buying more groceries, and without me having to say anything, he talked to me about it and said that he felt bad for eating my groceries and for not cooking for me more, so he stepped up and put more effort into bringing groceries, cooking for us, and treating us to take …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 01:38 AM
1

There will be a trial later this year. I can’t talk about it more than that because it’s an ongoing case.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/21 01:18 AM
144

Relevant section of review: “After reading about Chapman telling a wife to be more physically attentive to her husband, and to have more sex with him “Begin taking more initiative in physical touch and sexual involvement. Surprise him by being aggressive, not simply responding to his advances. Set a goal to have sexual intercourse at least once a week the first two weeks and twice a week the following two weeks.“ even though she feels unloved, because he doesn’t give her the time of the day unle…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 12:48 AM
7

Thanks hon! I’m doing my best!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 10:51 PM
12

It’s expensive and that sucks, but other than that I love it. Hopefully one day I’ll live in a less expensive area and be able to afford a house.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 10:42 PM
29

You can put boundaries in place in relationships that protect you, even if the boundaries are non traditional. I have a no cohabitation boundary, a no marriage boundary, a no kids boundary, and a we do equal effort for each other in the household boundary (typically meaning we share cooking and cleaning responsibilities). I’ve also been in two relationships with men who wanted to propose to me, and I balked because somewhere deep down I knew i would be setting myself up for an unequal and unfulf…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 08:44 PM
46

For women who earn their own money and don’t want to have kids, marriage is pretty much only a negative unless you can be sure that you’ll never get divorced or be abused. Personally, I’ve decided that I’m not going to be cohabitating or getting married, since I already know I don’t want kids and I love living alone. It’s partially to protect my finances and partially to protect me from abuse or any other manipulation. It’s harder for me in the short term, because I have to be able to afford all…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 08:32 PM
9

I loved that movie.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 08:13 PM
1

Ew this made my physically cringe, and if my dad EVER reacted that way to those types of comments, I would fucking throw up. Ffs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 05:31 PM
156

I would not be able to count the number of men who have sexually harassed me, I’m a little bit able to count the number men who have sexually assaulted me, and I can mostly count the number of men who have raped me. These are all mostly separate individual men. That’s not even counting catcalling, creep stares, being followed or stalked, being photographed without my consent… Too many.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 01:51 PM
11

Omg this stuff is so spot on. I’ve actually been talking to a guy that I knew a little bit in college, and I was getting an intuition that made me feel a bit uncomfortable about the way that he was managing our conversations. I had this uneasy feeling that I didn’t really know how to fully identify because it was just like he was trying to put too much too fast, and I haven’t even been flirting with him we’ve just been having normal friend conversations. This list helped me put into words what w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 01:19 PM
10

I think this is still relevant the beauty myth
/r/askFDS29/05/21 11:52 AM
3

It’s also not fully reversed because the woman is still adhering to patriarchal beauty norms. It would be even more shocking to those guys if the man was primped and prodded and presented submissively in his physical appearance in addition to his actions and the woman was dressed and presented in clothes and style that signify power.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 03:42 AM
22

“The man I invite into my life must match my expectations, respect my boundaries, and meet my standards. He must add value to my life, not take value away.” The unspoken here of course is that I also must do the same for him, but thus far that hasn’t been a problem in my relationships, or if it has, it’s been directly because of abusive actions from my partner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 03:34 AM
19

If we all lived in a matriarchal society, maybe that would be the solution to unplanned pregnancies and insemination irresponsibility, but ideally body autonomy should be a given for everyone. In a matriarchal society there would probably be enough support for women with children that even if the guy was being irresponsible with his insemination, it wouldn’t really affect the woman or the fetus if she chose to keep it. I imagine we’d have better reproductive healthcare for women as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 03:03 AM
38

I got called a misandrist for satirically suggesting that all men get vasectomies and should have to earn the right to have children lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 01:14 AM
13

I’m bi and dating a man, and I am extremely picky. I’ve found that during the vetting process, it’s important to get a sense of what his individual sexuality is like. I do not date men who watch a lot of porn, are selfish or objectifying of women, or men who view masculinity as something that needs to be proven or dominating. In my experience, there are men who genuinely don’t have any violent streak in their sexuality. Being violent towards a woman, especially sexually, is unthinkable to them. …
/r/askFDS28/05/21 07:47 PM
7

I think it’s the difference between being inspired and being influenced. Either men or women can inspire or influence you, but obviously living in a patriarchy it’s often men and men’s tastes that influence what becomes popular. Inspiration means that you are interested in something on your own and somebody else is boosting that interest with their own unique style or sensibility. Influence means that somebody is pressuring or or encouraging you to follow somebody else’s guidelines. When I was y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 03:15 PM
9

Self care doesn’t just mean face masks, body cream, and painting your nails!! Self care is also reading books that improve your mind, learning a new instrument, making art, writing in a journal, doing yoga and meditation, therapy, gardening…etc. I know so many women who only associate self care with physical appearance. Things that are good for our minds and souls are of equal if not greater importance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 06:07 PM
10

Lol my bfs hands look a bit like that (except they are very large) but he’s a welder so there’s kind of no avoiding it no matter how much he scrubs. I tend to have paint, ink, or soil on my hands so I guess we’re even. At least we’re both hygienic even though we both work with our hands too much to have them all manicured!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 05:41 PM
4

This is such a cool idea. Any way I can help women vet better and stay safer while dating is definitely something I want to help with. I’ve also been looking at learning some coding and statistical analysis because I want to go to grad school for sociology and those two skills would help me out a lot in my career path.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 01:04 PM
5

I’ve been spending some time arguing on a certain debate subreddit about abortion, and wrote a satirical post with a hypothetical solution to hold men responsible for their reckless inseminating, to point out the hypocrisy in the PL movement. And boy did people get angry about it. I even got crossposted to a “men’s rights” sub where a significant number of men completely missed the point
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 12:46 PM
3

I could have written this answer. I’ve been attracted to really conventionally attractive men and men who are not as conventionally attractive. Some things are a given; good hygiene, friendly and warm, intelligent…etc, but physically I don’t really have a type and need to get to know someone to determine if I find them attractive. Vibe and personality are very important. A very conventionally attractive man will be totally unappealing to me if he’s an asshole. And I’ve lost attraction to handsom…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 12:36 PM
8

I’m good with marketing, gamification, and social media in general, and I have a little background in psychology and sociology, which might help. I’d love to help with this. I’ve never really used these apps but I have so many friends who have and it’s such a toxic environment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 11:46 AM
5

Thank you! Yes I’m doing well now. I come from an abusive household so it took until my mid twenties to really understand how to identify abusive patterns and where to set my boundaries. It’s a shame more people don’t have empathy for those who struggle to build healthy relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/21 02:23 PM
12

Happy to help! I’m a bit of a reader and I’ve learned so much from books that has helped me navigate relationships and patriarchal society. I heard an interview (I think on NPR) with Carmen Maria Machado and she was so eloquent and intelligent, I immediately wanted to read it. I’m actually listening to it on audiobook, and listening to her voice tell her story is really incredible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 01:56 PM
16

link to comment with titles
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 01:41 PM
48

Some have been mentioned here before: Why does he do that? By Lundy Bancroft The gift of fear by Gavin de Becker Burnout by Emily and Amelia Nagoski I h * te m * n by Pauline Harmange Untamed by Glennon Doyle And I also like men explain things to me by Rebecca Solnit And I’m currently reading in the dream house by Carmen Maria Machado, which is about the abusive lesbian relationship she escaped from. So far it’s been a very powerful book. I also always recommend reading by feminists, particularl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 01:36 PM
84

I’ll be listening to the episode as soon as I can but I just had to come comment that I am so delighted that you’ve done an episode specifically for autistic women! Women who are not neurotypical are at an elevated risk of interpersonal violence and abuse, and giving women tools specific to them to help them identify and navigate these relationships is so important.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 01:01 PM
104

This is genuinely sociopathic behavior. Recognizing it being able to vet for it is of the utmost importance to women. I have a few book titles I often share for women to use to vet for red flag violent or abusive behavior. Does anyone have additional sources to share for vetting sociopathic dating behavior like this?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 12:49 PM
34

I always recommend to women (and anyone who wants to learn about red flag behavior) two books; “the gift of fear” by Gavin de Becker, and “why does he do that?” By Lundy Bancroft. Both books are a great learning tool and I though should be required reading. That being said, there are some circumstances in which violent behavior is predictable and others in which it’s much harder to recognize. Women are not “guilty” for not being experts in abusive and violent behavioral patterns. We can do our b…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/21 11:30 AM
8

This really depends on the department you’re working with and the state and country you live in. Survivors should be aware that the process is not meant to be healing or easy, and that if they live in an area where there is no training or victim blaming is very part of the system, they may experience police officers who don’t take their accusations seriously, but it isn’t a given that they will be dismissed automatically. Working with a victim witness advocate (rainn provides these professionals…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 02:07 PM
2

They do this in the fashion industry the same way they do it in the beauty industry. Things become trends that are popular for a short period of time so they can profit off of that, and then they pivot to another trend, oftentimes very opposite from the previous trend, to convince you to buy more unnecessary things to stay “in vogue.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 12:30 PM
4

I trim my pubic hair for oral sex and bc I have heavy periods, but only occasionally, maybe once every two weeks, and I’m trying to even out my leg hair. I spent years plucking (literally with tweezers- it was unhealthy and was using it as a method of self harm) and now the hair is completely uneven and patchy and it looks like something is wrong with me bc some places are completely bare and some places are thick and normal. I’m trying to even it out so it grows more evenly. If I had never been…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 11:23 AM
6

So you’re saying “while I recognize I do these things because of social conditioning, I also like it.” Ok fine, lots of women would say that. However, again, that’s still a form of oppression that I will argue against. How much money do you think women spend on the kind of procedures that you listed, versus what men spend? Women have less money, less land, and less power in society partially because we spend money and time and attention on these kinds of beauty standards. Women also have more bo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 01:41 PM
7

When I started reading feminist literature about beauty, and someone suggested that I shave my legs out of insecurity, I did the work to look at the real reason why I was shaving my legs, and as it turns out, like with every other woman who shaves, it would never have even occurred to me to shave if I hadn’t been brought up in a society that portrayed hairy women as unattractive and inferior. Men don’t think about this stuff, not because they are not female, but bc our culture doesn’t socialize …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 01:22 PM
10

I’m not gonna argue with you about your personal choices, but it’s still pretty shitty to come into a post about the toxicity of the beauty industry that prays on women, and defend it. The industry does not need your defense of it. And I to argue that valuing beauty in women in the first place is only to oppress and serves no real purpose other than to make us feel terrible about ourselves and buy stuff.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 12:41 PM
10

I’m not going to argue with you, but it’s very shitty to come on a post about the pressure women are under to be beautiful and the way society pushes us into expensive and unnecessary and risky surgical and beauty procedures and announce that you love and do these things “for yourself.” You don’t need to defend the industry, the industry has enough people to defend it. This post is about how toxic beauty culture is and how it warps our perceptions of ourselves and makes us believe that we need t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 12:39 PM
39

He was dealing with addiction issues for a long time, and I’d never recommend dating or marrying anyone who is still in the middle of their addiction issues. Someone who still trying to recover from addiction, is not in an emotionally stable place to be a good partner, and they should be single in order to focus on themselves and their addiction. You don’t want to be the collateral damage in their recovery process.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 12:30 PM
11

Why would you not like what you see in the first place? What convinced you that how you naturally look is not good enough? Why is aging a negative? Who made you feel like you needed to change? These are all questions that we can ask ourselves if we truly want to think independently of the cultural messages we have been bombarded by since birth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 12:14 PM
12

So the problem with saying that you did all of those things because you like them, is that your ideas about what looks good didn’t evolve from yourself or from nothing. We develop our ideas about what looks beautiful and what looks good from the society that we’re raised in. If you look at beauty norms across different cultures at different points in time, you can see that they’re all vastly different in a lot of ways and yet the women in those cultures would probably all say that they do those …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 12:08 PM
1

“WHAT MAKES PEOPLE MORE OR LESS LIKELY TO DIVORCE? your age 48 percent of those who marry before the age of 18 are likely to divorce within 10 years, compared to 25 percent of those who marry after the age of 25.44. 60 percent of couples married between the age of 20 -25 will end in divorce.45. Those who wait to marry until they are over 25 years old are 24 percent less likely to get divorced.” source Also when you have less experience and are less independent and settled in your career path, yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/21 09:47 AM
34

I don’t know if I can express in words how proud I am of you. It takes so much strength and bravery to look at yourself in the eye and look at your life and realize that what you have been doing to survive is not serving you in the way that you thought that it was. It is so easy to continue to lie to yourself in order to avoid doing the hard work of introspection. I hope you give yourself the credit that you deserve for making this realization, and for taking the steps to make your life better, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 10:18 PM
9

I totally understand. I didn’t get deep into kink but I did have to go through a process of quitting watching pornography and removing my trauma influence from my sexuality, which was difficult but doable and took some times but now I don’t have those influences. I don’t know if you’ll find this helpful, but I’m also a member of the sub Reddit anti-pornography, which is full of people who have worked to read pornography’s influence on their sex lives and sometimes that can involve kink as well. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 04:11 PM
9

Not to use the phrase that I absolutely hate, but “not all men” are like this. The guys who are like that, are generally really emotionally stunted assholes who can’t relate to other people and don’t see women as people. Because they view women as sexual objects only, when their lust fades after orgasm, they no longer have any interest in the person theyre with because the only interest they had in the first place was satisfying their own orgasm. If your whole interest in somebody else is based …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 03:21 PM
33

I’m sorry you’re experiencing this, and I want you to know that women here support you, and resetting your brains addiction to those dopamine and adrenaline spikes takes time! Be patient with yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 10:10 AM
49

Gals I was saying this shit ten years ago! It’s so easy to start a religion, literally all you need is a belief system, ritual based around that belief system, and people who believe it. Like that’s it. Can we please?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 03:55 AM
90

From what I’ve come to understand about BDSM and other kinks from people who participate in that side of things, most of these people are essentially adrenaline junkies, artificially elevating their adrenaline and dopamine levels in order to achieve a high, which they then have to counter when they inevitably fall from this high and drop into a type of depression. People whose lives are satisfying enough, who get enough of an adrenaline and dopamine rush from passion that doesn’t involve violenc…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 03:34 AM
196

We really need to question the psychological impact of existing as women in a world where we almost never see women represented without make up, and often also photoshop and plastic surgery.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 05:13 PM
2

Wow that’s really sexist. here’s a study if you want to look at their methodology, but if you’re coming to this with the sexist idea that women lie but men don’t, I’m not sure that data will be useful to you since you clearly just want to reinforce your biases. Here’s another study: “It is important to note, however, that there’s a significant gender gap in how mothers and fathers describe their household’s distribution of labor. Mothers in two-parent households, regardless of work status, are m…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/21 04:25 PM
1

Ok, I don’t think we are really disagreeing with each other, I just took your comment to indicate a more black and white line of thinking than your intention.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/21 02:05 PM
0

Your comment said sahm/d. That’s stay at home mom/dad. You didn’t specify age of the children. I was responding with a situation in which it’s not reasonable to expect the sahp to do all the child and home care. It’s a common situation I see on the relationship subs all the time. The woman is taking time off of work because she literally just had an infant, and because the husband is working full-time, he thinks that he’s not responsible for any household her child care, even if she still recove…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/21 11:26 AM
0

Infants require almost round the clock care, and it’s likely she’s doing night care if she’s breastfeeding. I specified full time motherhood to children that are at home, so under the age of 3-5. Your response was to a comment about expecting one partner to do all of the household and parenting labor. You stated that the only scenario where this would be expected would be a stay at home mom. I was disagreeing with you because even a stay at home mom cannot do full-time parenting and household ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/21 11:13 AM
0

It’s actually not reasonable to expect her to work 24 hours a day if she’s a mother full-time to kids that are at home with her all day and she is in charge of all of the cooking and cleaning. She gets absolutely no break in this arrangement, while her husband gets a break at the end of the day after work until the next morning.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/21 10:48 AM
5

I recommend doing a little research into the studies done on unpaid labor, because women as a whole are still doing the vast majority, even though men are doing more than their father and grandfathers.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/21 10:42 AM
23

I always like to joke that guys who are truly “alpha” are never the ones who would actually say that or use those terms at all. They are the men whom all the other men at work look up to and respect and want to impress, they are the men who feel a responsibility to their families and work really hard to be a good father, good husband, good son, good brother, and good friend to those around them, and they’re the type of men who have an innate sense of personal responsibility and integrity. They d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 01:06 AM
15

You should listen to the bikini industrial episode of feminist survival project podcast. They break down some of the issues with the ways we think about weight.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 12:05 AM
71

If a man is going to become violent when he doesn’t get sex, he should not be near any woman ever for any reason. My boyfriend went without sex for five years because his wife had medical issues that prevented her from having sex. He wasn’t happy about it but he didn’t cheat on her or lash out and he understood why she wasn’t going to be able to have sex and didn’t pressure her. He was not angry at her; he was sad to be missing this type of emotional and physical intimacy with someone he loves s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 02:37 PM
42

The men profiting from objectifying and degrading media like playboy realized that they would continue to make a profit if they pretended to align with feminist goals and spun their objectification of women as “empowerment.” Hefner talked about how feminists were his enemy back in like the 70s. Clearly he found a way around that, to the detriment of all women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 11:17 AM
16

I think the best way is to start small. If you love feminine clothing, start with something that is flowy and feminine, like a flowy summer dress, or structured but not too fitted, like a Jacket that nips in at the waist. Wear these things in low stress, safe environments, like with friends, family or to the grocery store. Test out how you feel, and adjust as you gain comfort and find a personal style that works for you. Personally, I have days where I wear super baggy clothes and I don’t want a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 01:37 PM
28

They also have this weird perception that because men occasionally offer women “help” in the workplace, that women are being given a leg up unfairly. I experienced this at a previous job. It was a male dominated job and men would offer to help me do something, only bc they were attracted to me and saw me as less competent, and I couldn’t advance because of implicit bias against women. So the “help” I was being offered really did nothing for my career and only prevented me from moving forward. In…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 01:26 PM
1

As a person in a modified poly relationship I can definitively say; this shit does not work for most people, and you have to be a very specific type of person with very good, very honest, very communicative partners for it to work at all. I would not recommend it to anyone unless that person is 100% sure that they are doing it for the right reasons and they found the right people. Most people are not cut out for it. Poly men very very often suck as much or more than mono men. The complication of…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 05:02 AM
5

Love this, so absolutely spot on. I thrive on subverting expectations lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 04:09 AM
23

The power isn’t rooted in choosing to have children, the power is in the choices themselves and choosing good men if we choose any at all. The choice whether or not to have children or marriage is an individual one, but the power we have is in deciding which men we sleep with, marry, and which men we reproduce with if we decide to reproduce. I’m also child free, meaning that I am choosing not to give any man the ability to reproduce. That in itself is a power. I also choose with whom I have sex …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 03:33 AM
55

This is what we’ve been talking about on a lot of these threads regarding the intense fear that misogynistic sub Reddit‘s have of women. These men know and admit that women are naturally more powerful than men because of our biological abilities. Men who fear women’s power admit this, even if they don’t fully understand what they’re saying. The unjust and oppressive laws that men use are a pathetic and failing attempt to circumvent our biological power. Men have this fear of women’s power becaus…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 02:44 AM
11

This is an emergency intervention situation. That man is a narcissist and he is never going to change and couples therapy may make it worse. I’m glad people were calling this out clearly and telling her to leave him, but there were a few scrotes in the comments playing “devils advocate.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 05:42 AM
47

I love the anonymity that masks offer. I typically wear a baseball cap or hat, glasses, and loose clothes when I go out, and the mask just adds another layer of coverage which I really appreciate. I might just keep wearing them, except around friends and family.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 05:27 AM
5

It’s something about appreciating sensual pleasure I think.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 07:10 PM
40

Needs to cook very well, as well as I do or better. This can mean following recipes, but the skill has to be there. I love to cook and eat and he’s got to enjoy that as one of life’s pleasures as well. Needs to have good hygiene, both what he can control and biologically I need to be attracted to his smell (I don’t mean body odor). I literally cannot be attracted to a guy who does not smell very very good to me. I’ve joked that I choose my men based on smell more than anything else. He needs to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 04:23 AM
42

In the same vein of thought, you shouldn’t make excuses for a guy or doubt your experience with him just because he has a good reputation or is liked by other people. It’s very easy to be gaslit by somebody who has charmed everyone else around him, so if you’re seeing red flags, even if nobody else is, you should trust your instincts. A good reputation does not make a good man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 04:05 AM
10

It took me years and two separate shitty relationships to understand what was going on! I wonder how many women in dead bedroom relationships are really just experiencing lack of libido due to a bad relationship/bad partner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 09:23 PM
35

That’s totally what I thought too. I was convinced something was wrong with me, my sexuality, my body....I even thought I was a lesbian for a while bc I was so turned off by men. Turns out, I just needed to dump my nvm bf.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 02:50 PM
173

Oooo I love this!!! This is actually how I operate. When I was younger I thought it was something wrong with me when I’d start having pain during sex and a lowered libido during a long term relationship.....until I realized my body was simply reacting to being treated poorly!!! My body was sending me a message that this man was not being good to me and didn’t deserve to be with me, and all I had to do was listen! I am TURNED OFF by misogyny, by rudeness, by gaslighting, by disrespect, by poor tr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 11:31 AM
12

We can call it the sexual exploitation industry, which covers the different types of “work” while also clearly marking it as exploitation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 01:52 AM
32

Women should always be very suspicious of men who want to be friends with them and vetting applies to male friends just like it applies to potential romantic partners!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 01:46 AM
10

And there is much evidence that women who are unmarried and child free are happier than married mothers. We will always be lied to by patriarchal society that not only do we need men, but we need to fiercely compete with other women in order to gain male approval, acceptance, and “be chosen.” It’s all nonsense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 03:13 PM
17

Excellent points. It is an existential threat to them, reminiscent of the aggressive anti abortion rhetoric. I forget which insightful feminist wrote about this (might have been Solanas), but the fear men have about abortion is the fear that their mothers would have chosen to abort them had they had the option. It is the fear of being erased, a very narcissistic fear if we’re being honest. Hvm don’t share this fear because they do not see women as an extension of their ability to procreate; they…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 03:09 PM
12

I was thinking more like a reading list with reviews/critique but yea it would important to check with mods. Maybe a better post would be analysis of men’s activism rhetoric with scum manifesto theory. It would pretty much consist of taking them at their word and just adding a little analysis explaining why they have these beliefs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 01:26 PM
23

Omg I loved you comment! Maybe we should make a post about SCUM manifesto. Obviously it doesn’t apply to every single man (the criticism I’m sure we’d get from pickme’s) but it’s very very accurate for the type of men that frequent MRA, incel, and redpill type communities. Crazy thing is they straight up admit this stuff when they talk about women being the “gatekeepers of sex.” It’s a warped perspective to believe that somebody else’s bodily autonomy is somehow an affront to your “rights” or “p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 12:59 PM
326

When you don’t actually enjoy sex with the people that you are doing it with, and you view it as a transaction, something you do to get something you want, then it makes sense for you to think that women who aren’t charging are being ripped off. This is also how a lot of men see sex, and how a lot of men’s activists think women see sex. They see it as a transaction, so women who aren’t charging enough, or women who aren’t charging in general, are somehow doing a job for free. This transactional …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 12:17 PM
112

Exactly, and the men will never respect either the Madonna or the whore anyway, because in order to have that dichotomy, they need to dehumanize both types of women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 06:28 AM
3

Holy shit I thought I knew what they were and I was SO WRONG. What. The. Fuck. I’m glad I never encountered it in the wild or I would’ve accidentally made a man feel real bad about himself. 😵😵😵
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 06:11 AM
1

I’ve also had crygasms lol, I never knew there was a name for it! My bf has had em too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 06:06 AM
1

Dick size and shape matter!!! I had thought for a while in my early twenties that I just didn’t like sex that much, but it was just bc I had only dated guys that didn’t understand foreplay and who’s dicks weren’t shaped right for me/they didn’t know how to use them. My last bf and my current one, both shaped in a nice way. My current bf is pretty hung but apparently had no idea he had a big dick so he’s got that BDE but without the entitlement or selfishness. I know now that I have specification…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 06:00 AM
213

It is fascinating to see these particular groups of voluntary sex workers claim to simultaneously be victims and not exploited/empowered. Apparently they are victims of the industry and have to produce the content that they’re producing in order to make money, while at the same time being empowered and in control of what they’re doing and therefore we shouldn’t criticize the industry or their behavior. If you are exploited and a victim of the industry, then you should support any criticism of th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 05:19 AM
62

I don’t know if I’ll be able to find it without some serious digging, but I believe there have been several studies that have come out about the men who sleep with prostitutes and a fair majority are married or in a relationship and still having sex with their wives, so it’s not a lack of sex that drives them to seek out prostitutes, it’s an entitlement and narcissism that they have.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 11:22 PM
8

Of course, I completely agree about the importance of respecting boundaries. Personally, I think women should be vetting for both. My bf and I both have high sex drives and that is an important part of our relationship, but if either of us isn’t in the mood or can’t be sexual for whatever reason, the other person would always respect that. I wouldn’t be satisfied with a partner for whom sex was a low priority, but I’d also never date anyone who didn’t respect my boundaries. Compatibility and res…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 01:26 PM
2

It’s much easier to claim that you’re not getting laid because you don’t meet these high expectations of 6/6/6, which for the record I’ve never heard of any women actually demanding, than to admit that maybe there are other reasons why women aren’t interested in you....
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/21 05:33 AM
1

Relevant article
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/21 05:31 AM
3

Relevant article about climate of coercion for young women due to pornography influencing young men. link
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/21 05:29 AM
2

I think you may be fighting a losing battle here my friend. This guy is really intent on believing the certain narratives that he already has about women and men, and I don’t think anything that you say to him is going to make a difference in that narrative. I also am not attracted to wealth or power, though I do like people who are generous with their friends, are respected by other people, and who have integrity. And I also will completely lose all sexual interest in a man who has a bad person…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/21 05:06 AM
108

This is such an important thing for women to realize, because recognizing this is how we can protect ourselves from getting involved with men who have different priorities than we do. By knowing where sex fits on the scale of relationship values for the men you are dating, you can figure out one aspect of whether you are compatible or not. If you are a woman who doesn’t have a high sex drive and doesn’t have sex as a high priority in your relationship values, then the only man who is going to be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 04:51 AM
3

I don’t mind at all and I am so flattered that you found it that helpful!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 11:38 AM
9

Oh wow thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 09:56 PM
8

Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 09:56 PM
106

I would love to see a return and continuation of female centered communities where women of multiple generations that span across all age ranges work together to raise children, provide resources, and collaborate on household and community tasks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 02:21 PM
251

There is a very serious discouragement of any type of introspection or sociological analysis that’s inherent to the way that liberal feminism operates. Women are actively discouraged from questioning why they feel the need for certain types of sex, for certain types of approval and acknowledgment from men, for certain types of presentation, and are discouraged from analyzing why they are so deeply unhappy with their lives. The liberal mentality of “if you like it, do it” falls so flat when it co…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 01:51 PM
5

This is definitely valid, though for either sex, holding fat in the midsection is correlated with greater health risks. This is obviously more common for men because men generally hold any excess fat in the midsection, whereas women often only or additionally hold fat in the thighs and buttocks. I hold almost all of my fat in my thighs and buttocks, so at a higher weight, I’m not often discriminated against by doctors or considered as heavy as I would be if I held that fat in my stomach. I can b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 12:48 PM
2

I feel so lucky to be so introverted. My mother (type A extrovert) actually told me it is a blessing bc I would be less likely to end up settling with a man who is toxic. I don’t know how I manage to do it, but those societal pressures never really stuck for me. Part of that is because I was lucky to be born into a family where the expectation that I get married and have kids happens a lot later in life than for people in other environments, but part of it is bc I really never pictured my adult …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 12:41 PM
6

Girl for your sake, I hope not! My dads a fucking wimp now tho lmao. He lost my hvw mom and all of a sudden he couldn’t play his stupid games anymore. What a loser. I hope you’ve gone low or no contact like I have. Saves so much stress and energy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 11:38 AM
6

I’m sorry this has been your experience. Any man who is addicted to that particular brand of mainstream porn is likely to have very unrealistic ideas about women’s bodies. I can only speak to my own experience, which is that a variety of men are attracted to curvier women, however there are a lot of factors and really we shouldn’t put any energy into caring what attracts men anyway. I wouldn’t waste my time on a man who is not already and always happy to worship my body like a temple. That shoul…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 11:35 AM
12

Teddy bear Latinos is the greatest dating preference description I’ve ever seen! I wish my dating preferences could be encompassed in such a concise and funny way! More women should be outspoken about our preferences!!! We have a right to date people we are actually attracted to and have standards for that attraction. I dated a guy I wasn’t attracted to in my early twenties, I guess because he was nice to me and I liked his personality, but the relationship was awful and the sex was worse.... ne…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 03:03 AM
8

Confabulation, I’ll have to look that up! I love having new vocabulary to accurately describe someone’s bullshit. Good for you for getting away from that asshole!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 02:56 AM
42

My father, a narcissist, had a very similar perspective when it came to his relationship with my mother and the subsequent breakdown of our family. He sincerely believed that my mother was somehow pulling strings behind the scenes to destroy his relationships with his children, despite the fact that we were all telling him that it was his actions that were destroying his own relationships with us and with our mother. It was a paranoid rambling nonsense laden with psycho babble, whatever would se…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 01:47 AM
49

Yup, my “dad bod” bf better love every inch of my “mom bod,” or he’s getting dumped.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 01:08 AM
14

Personally, I’m not really into that, but if y’all ladies want your man to have six pack abs, all the power to ya! I’m a soft lady and I like a man who is a bit soft too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 01:05 AM
1

Yea it’s too bad that these messages can never be part of a healthy sex Ed curriculum. It does make me happy to see women like Peggy ore stein and Gail dines speaking out about the negative influence of pornography and the current issues surrounding teen sex. I hope that we continue to spread more of these messages online particularly on apps like TickTock where more young people are participating in the discussion. I had no exposure to any of this type of information when I was younger even tho…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 02:14 PM
1

I think this is a really common experience for women, from what I’ve heard from friends. Especially if you were subjected to any kind of child abuse, even if it was non-sexual child abuse, it’s really common to believe because of your experience that saying no or standing up for yourself will just result in you getting hurt or more hurt. There are two parts to that from what I’ve seen in girls and women. One is the fear of saying no out of self protection. If you have previous trauma from being …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 01:57 PM
6

A lot of what you’re talking about has to do with the fact the girls are encouraged to behave this way before they’re adults. Hook up culture starts young, and minors cannot be expected to know how to identify red flags or how to advocate for themselves, and they do need to be protected. That’s not infantilizing, that’s just understanding that a child doesn’t have the emotional and mental maturity to establish healthy boundaries and standards. Everything we’ve been seeing in teen magazines and s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 01:40 PM
13

You are making some excellent points. Personally, I absolutely have enjoyed casual sex, but it requires a partner who actually cares about my pleasure, and it requires that I have the capability of advocating for myself so that I am respected and taken care of. Way too often, girls are encouraged to engage in casual sex when they are young and inexperienced in choosing partners that are going to respect them, and inexperienced in advocating for what they want sexually. This results in bad sex wi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 01:36 AM
27

Maybe she addresses it another video, but I think another piece to sexual freedom for women is the ability to ask for what we want sexually and get it, the ability to have high standards for partner’s behavior in bed, and access to sex toys so we are able to independently have pleasure, even before ever engaging in sexual activity with a partner. I absolutely don’t want to follow a male model of sexual freedom, so we should be designing a model for female sexual freedom that is neither the same …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 01:18 AM
2

Hell yes! Thank you for adding all these links! I had read about these studies in my sociology of gender classes and didn’t have links to include in my initial comment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 01:08 AM
48

There’s evidence that single sex environments are great for girls but not for boys, and boys do better in co-Ed environments but girls do worse. Single sex education for women and girls is really important.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 11:29 AM
10

I wouldn’t say five years represents a power dynamic only by virtue of age difference. Five years isn’t a lot when you’re in your 30’s, and a younger man can have power over his older girlfriend or wife if he is abusive or she doesn’t have her own source of income.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 03:53 AM
24

That article is amazing, I’ve saved it to share. I’ve mentioned OSHA standards multiple times in arguments about sex work; there is really no logic or justifiable legal defense for any type of sex work when you actually break down what it means to legitimize a job. So glad to see other people bringing up those points.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 12:25 AM
28

The people who proclaim that prostitution just needs to be made into a legitimate job are clearly not familiar with standard OSHA compliance. It would be absolutely impossible for any type of prostitution to be held to OSHA standards. Therefore, it can never actually be a legitimate job just like every other job.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 12:18 AM
9

Yea they totally missed the point. If you don’t have a sexual interest in being with men and don’t care to have relationships with them, you’re in a much better position to avoid the relationship issues men can cause for women. I hope other women who feel the same way you do can feel encouraged by your story and message. Even women like me can go through periods of time or relationships where sex is uncomfortable or painful for them (vaginismus, for example). We need to know that being subjected…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 04:26 PM
14

Sexual trauma can definitely bond someone to their abuser in an unhealthy way, but that’s not a biological feature of women, it would be a symptom of a larger societal issue and the psychology of sexual assault. Men are also capable of bonding to their abusers. Women who actually enjoy penetrative sex are enjoying it because they are anatomically designed in a way that makes penetration pleasurable. Those women aren’t all straight either! There are lesbians who enjoy penetration, and they aren’t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 04:06 PM
14

I think it’s really important for women to start and continue thinking about what sexual intimacy would look like if we hadn’t all been raised in such a male centered environment. Women’s pleasure and anatomy has been routinely ignored and this leads to unsatisfying or painful sex for so many women! We deserve better. I will never settle to be decentralized from my own sex life! More women should be encouraged to speak out and advocate for their own sexual health!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 03:53 PM
15

I’m sorry comments were just trying to give you unsolicited advice, which you clearly didn’t ask for. I think a lot of women who enjoy piv sex can’t imagine being happy without it, and many of them have experienced not having good sex, so they think their advice will help other women. It’s very thoughtless. We know the statistics on women who can’t orgasm from penetration. I happen to enjoy piv sex, but I don’t expect every woman to be like me! It’s just my anatomy. And unless I’m asked, It’s no…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 03:45 PM
11

I’m so glad that more women are being open about this! If you don’t feel pleasure from penetration, there’s no reason why you should have to do it!!! There are so many different ways to have sex and intimacy, and you have the right to decide what works for you and what you want, and establish your boundaries based on that! Also highly recommend that every woman find her perfect sex toy (or several)! There’s a reason there are so many different types; we’re all different and we all need different…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 03:28 PM
15

Our choices aren’t made in a vacuum and she, as a famous person, has an impact on other girls and women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 03:05 PM
62

And there are crazy increases in surgeries directly proportional to what becomes popular in women’s body types. When pornography became more widespread, women (and girls!) started getting surgery on their labia to make them look like porn actresses. It’s so depressing and disturbing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 01:42 PM
2

Did you know that there have been studies that show women are more likely to be aroused by a wider variety of sexual material than men? I learned this in my sociology of gender class back in college. A lot of young people seek out casual sex when they don’t want or aren’t ready for a relationship. Young people are horny and they don’t have a lot of emotional regulation so they don’t realize that committed relationships don’t have to all be the same or stick with tradition. It’s too bad men are s…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/21 11:32 AM
1

I mean, it’s been a long time since I’ve been out actually dating new people. In my last two relationships the sexual compatibility was obvious bc we had the same interests and priorities, in addition to clicking in personality. We had conversations about sexual preferences but I also had sex pretty early in the relationships bc sexual compatibility is very important to me and I’m not invested in making a relationship last until I know the sex is going to be good. My priorities are different fro…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 09:50 PM
24

In my personal experience working at male dominated jobs, men gossip just as much as women do, they just don’t see it as gossip. There’s also plenty of being “catty,” but they think that their interpersonal drama is somehow different from women’s interpersonal drama. Men do power-play among their social groups just as much if not more than women do, it’s just seen differently and is seen as having more value because we value what’s considered masculine more then we value what’s considered femini…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 07:36 PM
3

I recommend you look into the work of Jackson Katz, Gavin de Becker, and Robert Jensen. All have done or are doing work to fight male violence. There are some really awesome men who are fighting the good fight. I welcome you to join them if this is something you’re passionate about.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/21 06:42 PM
3

Wow, you have a really low opinion of men. If I had your opinion of men, I would be advocating for men to lose all of their human rights. I know for a fact that there are men who don’t have a biological drive to rape that they have to suppress, so I’m just gonna stop talking to you now. Clearly you have certain ideas about men that I don’t share. It doesn’t take bravery to rape a woman; it takes entitlement and weakness. It’s one of the most pathetic things you can do as a human being. I’m aware…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/21 05:46 PM
3

If men are biologically incapable of acting humanely/controlling themselves, then they should not be allowed to hold any position of authority in society, should have a curfew and a woman or team of women who are in charge of monitoring him, and should be separated from the rest of civilized society. The men who prove to be violent should be put down like an animal that can’t be trained. In a civilized society, if someone is incapable of not committing crimes, they are removed from society. I do…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/21 04:02 PM
1

Those men need to be charged and prosecuted. And suggesting that women turn to lesbianism isn’t going to work for the majority of women who are heterosexual. I constantly encourage women to not date men at all, learn about how to identify red flags, and build their lives for themselves unless they happen to find a man who they are 100% sure is a good person and would never hurt them and even then they still need to constantly look for red flags. I think we can end the conversation here. I’m not …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/21 02:50 PM
2

Many of us do, but that doesn’t solve the problem. It doesn’t protect us, even if we’d like to think it would. Women should not have to make our lives smaller and less free because men refuse to keep their dicks in their pants and their hands to themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/21 02:44 PM
2

Again, read the link that I shared in my last comment. With the numbers that we have in these statistics, it is not that women are bad at picking partners; it’s that we have an epidemic of sexual assault behavior that is going unreported and unpunished. This is not an individual problem, this is a systemic problem. I’m now finished with this discussion because nobody is actually educated on the statistics here and everyone is just getting in their feels and not looking at the facts.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/21 02:34 PM
3

Here’s some recent statistics about women and sexual assault link Do you know how many women are nonconsensually slapped, spit on, choked, called horrific names, “stealthed”, raped while asleep, or otherwise degraded in hook ups and casual relationships, in addition to how they are treated in serious relationships? This isn’t some consensual BDSM shit, this is the way men treat women without their consent because they feel entitled to. Sexual assault and rape are not the same as getting laid. I …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/21 01:49 PM
3

Oh yes, it’s the whole “women are making bad choices in partners and it’s all their fault.” And it definitely has nothing to do with how many men suck as partners and how women are constantly being told to lower their standards and accept bullshit behavior. Have y’all even looked at the orgasm gap stats? And yet, y’all get real butthurt when women start encouraging each other to raise their standards and educating other women on how to tell which men are bad and which men are good partners.... A…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/21 01:00 PM
2

Girl, have higher standards. Don’t put up with someone who won’t rise to meet you halfway.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/21 12:46 PM
5

Nah dude, it’s “I wanted something edible but I got food poisoning.” Most of the sex being offered to women on a regular basis is painful, uncomfortable, unpleasant, degrading, and sex that ends with only the man getting an orgasm. If that was the kind of sex that man were getting the majority of the time that they were having sex, they wouldn’t feel like it was something good being offered, because it’s not something good being offered. It took me until my late 20s to have an orgasm with a man,…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/21 12:19 PM
42

Ah yes, you were just employing the inferior method of silliness while he was engaging in the highbrow art of wit! /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 02:42 PM
119

Have any of you ever been to a comedy show or seen a comedy special where the woman is downright fucking hilarious but the audience is like afraid to laugh? Like they clearly think she’s funny but the topics she makes jokes about are a little risqué or dirty and the audience is confused about laughing at a woman saying these things? I’ve noticed this a bunch of times, and it’s not because I have some weird offbrand sense of humor although I definitely can appreciate weird humor, it’s just like t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 02:32 PM
59

I would never date a man who didn’t laugh at my jokes. Making each other laugh is kind of crucial to a healthy relationship in my opinion. I have noticed sometimes that men will laugh at my jokes but then don’t admit that I’m funny, or they think that I am not trying to be funny like I’m just saying something that they think is funny but that it’s not an intelligent and purposeful action on my part. Like dude, I’m not being goofy by accident, I did it to make you and myself laugh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 02:24 PM
10

I only dated one guy with poor hygiene for a few years in my early twenties. Never again. I’m opting out of reading that thread.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 01:02 AM
20

I would never want to date a man who was going to be offended or mock me if I asked him out anyways. The kind of man who would make jokes about a woman being desperate just because she asked him out are automatically low value.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 11:14 PM
318

If we’re using the term “getting laid,” the same way that men are using it, which is to mean “having decent sex where orgasm is expected“ then it’s definitely as difficult if not more difficult for women to get laid than it is for men to get laid. Just sayin’
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 08:20 PM
56

The way I look at it, it kind of depends on what you’re seeking in a relationship. If you’re a woman who is dating to find a husband and somebody whom she can have kids with, then finding somebody who is eager to be a provider is going to be very important for your financial stability when you’re in the vulnerable position of having to leave your job for a bit in order to have children. If those aren’t your goals, then some of these things are going to be less important to you and you may have o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 07:13 PM
15

The same people who understand the power imbalance between a boss and his employee, or an employee and their customer, willfully ignore that this is the same exact power dynamic between a pimp and his prostituted women, or a John and the prostituted woman he is purchasing. The employee in either situation has absolutely no power because their paycheck is dependent on somebody else’s satisfaction. This is a basic understanding of capitalism and employee rights. Additionally, the same people who u…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 02:39 AM
11

Yea that’s why you have to already be someone who is child free, marriage free, cohabitation free, and uninterested in a lot of other traditional relationship standards, and then you also have to make sure you’re dating an hvm. It’a definitely not going to be for almost all women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 09:39 PM
16

Yea all of this checks out. Polyamory only really works if not everyone is looking to have all parts of a traditional adult relationship. If everyone in the relationship is trying to have all of the traditional markers of an adult relationship, somebody is always going to feel like they’re lacking something. I don’t recommend getting involved in any of these type of alternative relationship arrangements unless you have very specific boundaries that don’t work with a traditional relationship, and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 07:56 PM
169

Oh my God I am so glad that you posted this here because all of the fucking comments kept calling her the asshole and it just made me so angry. Who defends talking about their significant other in the way that he talked about her and the way that his friends were talking about her like what the hell is that?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 03:22 PM
1

Yes, and there are definitely times and places where it’s easier to be dressed up and feel comfortable and other times one may prefer to cover up more. I used to feel like I had to wear form fitting clothes bc I was worried about looking fat, but I never really felt comfortable in those clothes, and it was so freeing to stop caring about looking thin and attractive. Now I mostly dress in looser clothing, and occasionally dress up. Like I often feel a lot more comfortable dressing up to go to a c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 02:38 AM
9

Thank you for this, everything you said here is so important. I saw TikTok recently where the speaker was saying that we treat emotional pain differently than physical pain, when really we should be looking at them rather similarly. Physical pain occurs when there’s something in the body undergoing some type of stress or injury. Emotional pain occurs when there’s something in the brain undergoing some type of stress or injury. In both cases, the pain in question is simply information that our bo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 02:12 AM
2

Fair, and yes that’s happened to me too, but it happens way more often if I wear anything form fitting. I’ve just found I’m much more comfortable being more covered, and I wanted the original commenter to know that she can still be fashionable without wearing things that make her feel self conscious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 02:01 AM
3

It’s not about caring what other people think necessarily, it’s more about avoiding sexual-harassment and stares. I don’t feel comfortable walking around in the world and being ogled by men, so I choose to dress to avoid that as best I can. You may think of that as me being controlled, but I’m never going to feel comfortable with that kind of attention, so it doesn’t make sense for me to dress in a way that I know is going to get that kind of attention while also knowing that that’s gonna make m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 01:29 AM
10

I just learned about LAT! I guess I knew about it in theory but didn’t know it was a whole community. I’m 30 but I’ve cohabitated with two different bfs, but I love living alone and am never interested in cohabitation again. I like having a consistent stable relationship, I just don’t want all that extra stuff that other people want. It’s so cool to know other women are making their own lifestyle and relationship boundaries that are very outside the box from what society expects. It’s made me re…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 09:31 PM
15

Why do we keep letting these losers remain anonymous? They deserve to have their names and faces accompany their own words.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 07:16 PM
14

Baggy clothes that are still fashionable!! This is what I’ve found works for me. I used to love dressing up but once I left my house I felt insanely uncomfortable bc I didn’t like wearing tight clothes. Once I learned that I could dress fashionably while also being relatively modest and conservative, I became a lot more comfortable with my fashion choices. Dressing up doesn’t necessitate dressing in anything tight or revealing. I have this orange for coat that’s a little bit too big for me and I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 04:02 PM
14

Those men really think they’re dealing with feminists or fds. Wow they have no clue.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 04:00 PM
107

It really depends on the value of the man. A good man of high value does not think of women this way and will not treat women this way, but a low value man almost always will, and if he’s not, it’s bc he’s working the situation to his advantage (he’s playing the game to get what he wants). Low value men treat their girlfriends and wives whom they “love” like this; they “can’t help it,” but it’s really just bc they can’t take responsibility for the f’ed up way they view women and relationships.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 02:10 AM
47

Yea if I have to listen and read the word “b***h” from both men and women in almost every form of media and in social groups, I think they can handle one small group of women using the word “scrote.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 08:38 PM
20

Maybe I’m in the minority for this, but I’ve actually never found men to be that attractive unless they are good people. When I was in high school I really didn’t have any crushes on any guys, because most guys I knew were just jerks, and I could not for the life of me understand why all these young women around me were trying so hard to get male attention, to get boyfriends, and to get guys to like them, when I just completely saw these guys as dumb and lead by their dicks. Unfortunately this a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 01:58 PM
40

Practicing a loud, public response while in private helps prepare you for when you are faced with sexual aggression from men. A lot of women’s self-defense classes start with having women practice loudly yell “NO!” bc most women are taught to not make a “fuss” and just be quiet and polite. If we’re taught our whole lives that we have to be quiet and polite to everyone who’s rude to us, it becomes so much more difficult if not impossible to vocally and physically protect yourself when you are fac…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 01:45 PM
2

I like a man who is still soft and cuddly. Healthy eating and exercise is important for health and stamina, but I DO NOT like a man with too much muscle. According to the absolute idiots on this post I’m lying bc...I’m trying to appear morally superior or something? Idk y’all make no sense. I know a hell of a lot of men who are short, skinny, overweight, feminine, or any number of other “undesirable” traits who all managed to find girlfriends and wives with not much effort, because they are genu…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/21 04:38 AM
134

Yet another proven example of the patriarchal reversal that the manosphere tries to claim is only true of women. “F*males ride the chad cock carousel until they settle for a beta!” “F*males fuck all the alpha guys until they get bored and want to settle!” “F*males fuck around until no attractive man wants them and then they pick a guy they never would have fucked in their ‘hot’ years to marry bc no other guy will take them!” Whine, whine, whine.... it’s all bullshit. They’re just telling us what…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 02:45 AM
5

Can anyone find the tedtalk from the woman she posted in that clip? I saw the original at one point but can’t find it now and that whole tedtalk is really fantastic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 10:12 PM
1

I’m sorry you’re dealing with all that stress, I really relate to that on the female side of the equation. I hope you find some friends and groups of people who don’t subscribe to sex stereotypes; that’s been one of the best things for my mental health. I also recommend finding ways to join with or support men and women who are activists working towards a more equitable future. There are some fantastic feminist men who are fighting male violence and they might help inspire you. Jackson Katz is a…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/21 08:22 PM
1

There’s been some great results from programs that encourage bystanders to act, especially when those programs start young. These types of programs, early education on patriarchy, misogyny, and consent, as well as actually having legal consequences and social consequences for men who commit violent crimes, and establishing equitable rights for women, would all help create a better society.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/21 07:42 PM
0

I feel the need to add some thing else. Women grow up being told that we are physically weaker than men. Many many women develop eating disorders (a reaction to trauma and lack of having control over ones life) or are on diets when we are going through puberty, the peak height and muscle growing years. We are discouraged from developing our muscles because that makes us “less feminine” to male-run society. When women face they societal oppressions, they come to believe that they are never going …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/21 07:05 PM
1

We are living in a world society that has been organized patriarchally with extreme power differences for a very long time. Our society encourages sexualized violence through law, social norms, media, and our own experiences of sexualized violence. It is not surprising to me at all, as somebody who has studied sociology and psychology, that many people, both men and women, would grow up in this stew of patriarchal misogyny and sexualized violence, and take that on as part of their sexuality. Do …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/21 02:42 PM
3

Ew. You know nothing about women and nothing about feminism or the way fake “feminists” have infiltrated the movement. Nice try with the attempt to label me “anti-sex” or a “prude,” lmao. No matter how popular sex devoid of emotion is to people of a certain age or of a certain mental capacity, most people genuinely want real equal connection between them and another or multiple persons, and sex devoid of feeling doesn’t get you that. Objectification leaves both parties hollow and depressed, and …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/21 02:26 PM
1

This whole argument is the biggest load of bs I’ve ever witnessed. You all should be ashamed of yourselves. Misogyny in society and misogyny in the bedroom come from the oppression of women, not nature. Women are oppressed from the moment we are born, and that affects our sexuality if we allow it to, it’s not fucking natural it’s just encouraged. Women who don’t fight against this misogyny invading every aspect of our personality and our lives, end up eroticizing really unhealthy power dynamics.…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/21 01:38 PM
51

I’m honestly a bit conflicted about the idea that you should get married within three years of knowing somebody. Most people don’t show their true selves when they first start dating and it takes a while to get to know somebody enough to trust them, and I think for the most part it’s really hard to tell if a man’s gonna actually be good to you long-term if you’ve only known him for like three years. I guess part of my perspective is he should want to marry you within three years but maybe don’t …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 04:59 PM
24

I was my exes “dream girl” for all of the right reasons, or at least for mostly the right reasons, and he still didn’t treat me right. If a man is a shit person, it doesn’t matter what kind of amazing woman you are and how much you fulfill his fantasies/dreams/goals, he’s still going to be a shit person to you because that’s the kind of person he is. You can’t “dream girl” your way into a better relationship with a shit man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 04:53 PM
9

This is one of the effects of “cool girl“ culture. The number of times that I see a woman feeling uncomfortable, unsafe, or disrespected in their relationship, yet they don’t feel like they can say anything because they don’t wanna come across as “needy, insecure, toxic,“ or whatever other bullshit men have convinced women that she will be if they have any kind of boundaries, is insane. We have the right to our boundaries and the right to feel safe, comfortable, and respected in our relationship…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 04:42 PM
7

While I have no doubt that there is some truth to the theory that men who are sexist genuinely have something going wrong in their brains when they are looking at or thinking about women, this study has a sample size of 21 people, which makes it a horrible study and is in no way credible when trying to apply it to the entire population of human men. We need better studies with much much larger sample sizes in order to make any genuine conclusions about the brain and sexist male behavior. Persona…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 02:33 PM
68

For women like me who prefer to be very closely trimmed, but don’t want to use a razor to shave bc of micro cuts, ingrown hairs, etc....I highly recommend the philips norelco oneblade electric trimmer and shaver. It’s a men’s facial grooming electrics shaver but it’s fantastic and I have never nicked myself with it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 01:21 AM
11

A lot of people have recently been saying that there was another study that says that it doesn’t protect you and that it’s actually better to remove the hair, but that study was based on a sample size of like 450 people and the sample size for the study that says that it is bad to remove pubic hair has a sample size of over 1000, I think it was close to 2000. So I just wanted to put that out there because you’ll see a lot of people claiming that the old study is bad and the new study is good, bu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 01:14 AM
3

Relevant response I wrote in another post about this issue, copied and pasted here: Any type of media always has the goal of communicating a message. We always have to ask ourselves what that message is, and what belief systems accompany that message. What makes a piece of media depicting violence against women misogynistic is not the content typically, but the context. What I mean by this is that if you produce media that depicts violence against women in a way that makes it sexy, funny, or dim…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 03:32 PM
41

Exactly! He should be prioritizing your consent, comfort, pleasure, and happiness every step of the way. Also, I want to add one more thing, because I think people reading this who aren’t FDS may misunderstand the full context of this comment and my initial comment. Asking for a man to prioritize my comfort, consent, and pleasure, is not a selfish request. When I say I need to be with a man who prioritizes me, that is with the understanding that I am going to be sensitive to him as well. I am go…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 09:04 PM
122

And that’s why I only fuck guys whose entire sexuality revolves around being in service to a woman’s orgasm. If a man’s sexuality is not entirely based in how he can make a woman come; I’m not interested, bc without that, the sex will be painful, unpleasant, dehumanizing, and traumatizing to me. I am not an empty vessel; I have my own sexuality and my own desires and any man lucky enough to sleep with me better be eager to fulfill those desires. Keep your standards high, ladies!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 04:51 PM
344

Clearly they wanted to embarrass any woman who would consider buying the shoes by making women feel that it would be a show a vanity rather than an attempt at self protection. Imagine if someone tried to present pepper spray this way! “Oh it’s such a show of vanity to believe that you are attractive enough to need pepper spray to ward off rapists” Men literally do say this shit to women who use self defensive tactics.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 02:48 PM
595

From what I read, back when I was studying this stuff, they had to stop doing studies back in like the 80’s or 90’s because it was very clear that even very mild pornography was having an effect on men’s perceptions of women and acceptance of rape myths.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 02:41 PM
21

I’m really struggling to find a new job. My self esteem is shot and I’m not good at networking and it just all feels so hopeless.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 04:11 PM
142

When a woman (either in fiction or reality) embodies a role that reinforces her own oppression and subjugation, this is seen as sexy to a certain type of man. When a woman (either in fiction or reality) embodies her humanity, independence, and capabilities, those same men claim that very same woman is no longer desirable. Make of that what you will.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 10:45 PM
33

Thank you for sharing your experience, it takes a lot of courage to admit when we were wrong about something, and even more courage to talk about our experience openly. One thing that I’ve noticed when talking to people who are in the BDSM community, those particular types of interactions are addictive, rather similar to people who are addicted to drugs or adrenaline junkies. They Artificially elevate adrenaline and dopamine levels to create addictive pattern of highs (elevated) and lows (withdr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 08:42 PM
99

This is why we keep saying that “consent” is not the only standard needed to determine whether something is ethical. People “consent” to all sorts of things for all sorts of reasons, but it doesn’t mean that thing is healthy, safe, or non harmful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 07:54 PM
25

This is so true!!!! These men get their ideas about women from other men so they can perpetuate messages about who women really are, when in reality it’s all stories that men are making up for other men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 01:30 PM
12

After dumping my abusive ex, I made a promise to myself that I would never stay in or enter a relationship that took away from my life. I am an introvert who loves spending time alone, and I have no problem being single, so if a man wants to be a part of my life he needs to add to it, and not take away from it. His presence needs to be better than my time alone with myself is, which is a very high bar for me because most people exhaust me and I generally prefer to be alone. This standard has bee…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 02:43 AM
4

Had anyone here read Andrea Dworkin’s Right Wing Women? I’ve read a few sections of it and I think she does a good job of analyzing why certain women choose to live a life shackled to a social environment that sees them as inferior. While surely there are some women who are just not very intelligent (just like there are men who are not very intelligent), I think it’s equally true that a lot of women look around the world, see how unjust it is to be a woman, and decide that they will seek out onl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 02:32 AM
38

It’s really important that we talk about the rise in pedophilic imagery and recognize that there are women who are purposefully contributing to this. Pedophilic imagery has existed in parts of the main stream for a very long time, but it has definitely gotten worse in recent years, in part due to women like BD who are trying to make a profit off of men’s pathological paraphilia. The ways in which the porn industry has attempted to work around bans on imagery of child rape is insidious and unethi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 06:28 PM
43

She now also does porn, including violent bdsm porn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 06:21 PM
1

I’m sorry this logic just makes no fucking sense to me. I get that there are a lot of guys who can’t see anyone that they’re attracted to as a legitimate human being, however there are plenty of friendships where one or both people have an attraction to each other and they can still be friends because being attracted to somebody doesn’t make it impossible to be friends with that person. I am bisexual and I’ve been attracted to male friends and female friends and I can still fucking be friends wi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 11:34 PM
25

This is exactly why couples therapy doesn’t work for women who are in abusive relationships where they are being gaslit, spoken down to, or otherwise emotionally abused. ETA: I’m sorry, I have more to say about this. This woman’s argument makes absolutely no fucking sense. Let’s flip it around to a scenario where the woman is creating problems in her marriage. Let’s say that a man’s wife is continuously flirting with other men and it upsets him. She sees no problem with her behavior until he fin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 09:40 PM
9

It’s even worse when they use the term “exposure therapy,” which is always done with a therapist and in a controlled environment and is NEVER done to re-enact sexual trauma, but is used for things like arachnophobia or other phobias that may be helped by exposure, and isn’t done by exposing someone to a bunch of spiders, and also is rarely used bc it most often makes the phobia worse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 03:38 PM
8

I really particularly loved this episode and all of the different aspects of the discussion. I recognize that I have been a defender of polyamory because I am in a type of polyamorous relationship and did not realize how many poly people were getting so defensive on their posts, so when I saw a lot of criticism of poly relationships I got a bit defensive about it. I am definitely not going to be defending poly relationships on here anymore; I don’t think it’s necessary for me to add my input and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 03:28 AM
59

I feel it’s really important to mention here that there are a lot of women and girls who develop violent invasive thoughts or violent fantasies after experiencing sexual assault. These women and girls are often told that because this is a very common reaction to experiencing sexual violence, that they should simply indulge in these fantasies either alone or with a partner. This is a really dangerous thing to be telling women that have already experienced sexual violence, and are experiencing dis…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 02:31 AM
31

It’s taken a huge mental burden off of me during piv sex. I am very very tokophobic (fear of pregnancy/childbirth) and very child free, and though I’ve always been on birth control (for cramps), the fear always undermined my ability to enjoy myself in previous relationships. Now I’ve been considering going off of birth control (I have endometriosis and have been trying to figure out the best way to manage it), and I love that I have that option without having to give up a part of sexual intimacy…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 01:24 AM
58

My bf had a vasectomy (before I met him) and honestly I don’t think I’m ever going to go back to fucking men who haven’t had one. It’s definitely the way to go, especially in a monogamous long term relationship where you don’t want to use condoms (though obviously I’m not encouraging not using condoms).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 12:52 AM
2

I have a really hard time valuing my appearance unless I fit into a more conventional box. I get embarrassed around other people when I step outside of that box, even though I hate the box and I don’t want to be trapped in it. I feel less valuable than women who are more conventionally attractive and more conventional is personality.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 12:03 AM
6

That’s awesome! Sometimes I see some less radical stuff on here, so I don’t make any assumptions about the feminist activism of women here unless they are very clear about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 12:04 AM
93

Isn’t it just SO CONVENIENT that the age at which women are said to “expire” is the SAME AGE at which our BRAINS FINISH DEVELOPING. Tie that man down while you’re young, pretty, and intellectually underdeveloped, girls! You don’t want to get TOO SMART and TOO MATURE to realize you just SETTLED FOR AN ABUSIVE LOSER.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 11:59 PM
9

Not invented by capitalism, but it came into society because of the invention of private property/money/needing money to survive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 11:02 PM
9

Love to see radical feminism in this sub 💗
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 10:57 PM
7

While I’m sure you’re correct about what this particular man is talking about when he says sexual compatibility, I think there is a reason to talk about sexual compatibility that has nothing to do with kinks and has everything to do with the type of emotional intimacy and specific sexual styles (not kinks) that different people have that can be compatible or not compatible. I’ve definitely met men that I’m not sexually compatible with where it had nothing to do with kinks and everything to do wi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 10:10 PM
2

And so much of it really depends on how much of a priority sexual compatibility is to you in a relationship. For two people that have sexual compatibility as a lower priority, but emotional, intellectual, personality compatibility, and life goal compatibility as higher priorities, waiting isn’t really a big deal because they already know they’re compatible in the ways that they care much more about. For a couple who both feel that sexual compatibility is a very high priority for both of them, ma…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 10:04 PM
-5

You’re assuming all polyamorous relationships have the same set up of two men and one woman. That’s obviously not the case. I agree it would be difficult to find two good men who would be able to have an equitable relationship with one woman, but that has to do with how few good men there are, not the relationship type. The subreddit is never going to be a very good example of poly relationships bc the people who have healthy relationships are less likely to need to post about their relationship…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 05:45 PM
-6

I see a lot of people all over this thread shit talking polyamory as a relationship style. The reality is it’s not the type of relationship that’s the problem, it’s who is in the relationship. Monogamous relationships have just as much likelihood of being abusive or otherwise patriarchal and unhealthy. If healthy people who care about equity and care about their partners are in a polyamorous relationship, it can be perfectly healthy. If you have unhealthy people trying to all have a relationship…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 05:36 PM
71

Women have a biological power of being able to decide if and when we reproduce, and which men deserve to have offspring. Men have been trying for most of human history to keep that power and even the knowledge of that power away from us. When all women are able to fully embrace that power, we will be unstoppable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 09:45 PM
3

The way I look at it is, it’s kind of similar to the way some people develop kinks and some people don’t, even if they have the same experience in life. Like maybe there is some kind of biological factor that leads some people to be more affected by certain experiences and certain socialization, but biology is not why people develop this way, because we actually have control over how we live our lives and whether we incorporate unhealthy things into our sexuality or not. Our brains are so flexib…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 06:18 PM
4

No they don’t, your relationship and reasons for leaving are private, but I hope the girls have adults in their life they can reach out to if their father is ever predatory towards them or more likely, their friends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 06:13 PM
10

I think the reason so many women don’t believe it’s biology, myself included, is that we all know men who are absolutely not wired that way, and are horrified at any man who is predatory or pedophilic. What would be the biological difference between the men who are pedophilic and predatory and the men who aren’t? Is there any discernible difference because if there isn’t, biologically speaking, then it isn’t biology. If we can’t identify a concrete connection between the biology of men who are p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 06:06 PM
3

Ahhhhhhhhh what the fuck! You are definitely doing the right thing to ditch that guy. If you have a close relationship with the daughters, maybe let them know that they can reach out to you if they ever feel uncomfortable or unsafe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 05:59 PM
49

If you listen to what they say at the beginning of the video carefully, the man on the right says that he doesn’t like hearing those things because it makes him feel like an animal, and out of control. If men keep getting these lies repeated to them while they’re growing up, if it keeps getting repeated to them that they are controlled by their dicks, and that it’s inevitable that they will have these out of control desires that they can’t do anything about, they are going to believe it and they…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 01:55 PM
18

This happened recently enough that if there’re charges or a trial it is still in process. If someone does know how to reach out to her, she needs to be supported and encouraged to get that DA to prosecute him to the full extent of the law.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 01:14 AM
12

Oh my god this one is driving me absolutely fucking nuts. She is still being gaslit like everything she said in the last part of the post is just her being so gaslit by him that she is still making fucking excuses for his criminal abusive behavior. I wish I knew this woman because I would just walk up to her and shake her and say what the fuck are you doing still making excuses for this absolute piece of shit. I hope that he gets prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law and face is serious se…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 01:11 AM
99

The same thing is happening today with breast ironing; “typically performed by a close female figure to the victim, traditionally fulfilled by a mother, grandmother, aunt, or female guardian who will say she is trying to protect the girl from sexual harassment and rape, to prevent early pregnancy that would tarnish the family name, preventing the spread of sexually transmitted infections such as HIV/AIDs, or to allow the girl to pursue education rather than be forced into early marriage.” This w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 12:28 AM
18

Actually, that story is a really good reason to promote wider support systems for families beyond the two parents, whether that’s extended family, friends, other parents..etc. Something bad can always happen, whether to one parent or both. The wider the family’s support system is, the better off they will be if something horrible happens.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 08:10 PM
31

This should be its own post. The rise of incel and mra ideology very clearly arose from male fear of female liberation. The backlash and twisting of female sexual liberation and twisting of feminist rhetoric to support patriarchy is because men who are invested in maintaining their power over women are scared of us. They are afraid that when given the choice; we won’t fuck them, that we won’t have their children, that we won’t be their servants, that we won’t bend to their will. And they should …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 06:35 PM
69

Also, no ones telling men they have to date women with small breasts if that’s not what they’re into. We’re just telling women that they also don’t have to settles for a partner who isn’t attractive to them and doesn’t satisfy them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 12:40 PM
10

I was/am my ex’s “dream girl” and he was still abusive, put me on a pedestal, was possessive..etc. I’ve been the dream girl a few times and I never thought it was healthy. My current bf thinks I’m a dream, but he doesn’t idolize me or dehumanize me or anything, he just thinks I’m amazing, which is much healthier bc he’s admiring me without removing my humanity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 03:48 AM
50

Was not ready for that photo. Said “oh Jesus” aloud.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 03:16 AM
3

I’m also bisexual, and I’m attracted to people who fit and people who don’t fit societal convention. Not sure why that would effect what I said. Some of the things that I have found attractive in women are definitely socialized, and some of the things that I found attractive in men are socialized; I try to pay attention to this and not let society dictate my interests too much. I used to be much more attracted to feminine women; now that I have a feminist perspective, I don’t find extreme femini…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 01:29 AM
5

The desire to be socially accepted is biological. The desire to be “pretty” is socialized; even children are socialized starting from before they are born. By the time they are toddler aged they are well aware of the stereotypes associated with biological sex (gender roles).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 01:24 AM
34

The way I try to think about it and what I try to work towards is; how would I look/act/be if I was alone on a bit of self sustaining land for the rest of my life? What if I were raised there with no concept of external beauty? What would I value? What would be important to me? What would I strive for within myself? Would I shave my legs? Would I wear makeup? Would I be concerned about my eyelashes or nails? Would I wear dresses? I do some things I enjoy that I know are socially influenced (when…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 01:03 AM
15

Very few women actually consciously think “will men like this?” Though some of course do ask themselves whether their boyfriend or husband will. It’s more that our ideas of beauty and the trends in beauty for women are dictated by male run society. The concept of beauty that we have is not female designed, and if it were, we’d probably have a very different definition. Same with the concept of sex, the concept of marriage, the concept of power...etc. Because men have been in power for so long, t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 12:25 AM
8

We really do waste our time/energy any times we are talking about incels, or any group of men who has no power but is just a shithead. Actively getting riled up about generic misogynists is a waste of time and energy. However, you can hate someone without actively using your energy on it. I hate my rapists, however I pretty much never think about them and I’m not wasting my energy hating them, I’m just aware that that’s how I feel about them. In general my attitude is pretty indifferent to them,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 09:32 PM
17

link for his bs behavior towards rose
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 07:58 PM
12

I don’t think that sexual attraction precludes a platonic friendship. I’ve been attracted to female friends I’ve had and can still be friends with them. I also know more than a few guys who have female friends they are definitely not interested in sleeping with. Often they met through work or common interests. Many men do not see women as human beings in the same way they see other men as human beings, and those men definitely can’t have friendships with women because they don’t see women as act…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 10:27 PM
10

Let’s not blame testosterone for something that is clearly just a personality problem lol. It’s not biological for men to not be romantic any more than it’s biological for women to be romantic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 07:47 PM
16

A lot of guys are like that and it’s so gross, but luckily I know many many dudes who are so romantic, even more so than the women I know, and it’s a very natural part of them. If you’re a romantic woman, figuring out who is the fake it for sexual access vs who is genuinely romantic is going to be harder unless you make him wait for sexual intimacy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 07:44 PM
90

Women should always be encouraged to just go for guys THEY are attracted to! What society wants does not matter AT ALL when it comes to whom you choose to date. Why date someone you don’t want to fuck? I have dated guys who are conventionally attractive and those that weren’t as much, but the key is that I’M attracted to them. A guy can be super conventionally attractive but if I’m not into him, I’m not gonna give him a chance, and also I’m not gonna avoid dating a guy I’m attracted to just bc h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 03:20 PM
36

Both my bf and I feel that piv sex can be wonderful without orgasm. Sometimes I’m at a certain time in my cycle when it’s just not going to happen that way, and sometimes he can’t get there. We both feel it’s still a good experience. We enjoy the connection and the sensation, and maybe I use a toy after or we do something besides piv or we try again later, if we want. That being said, I think the narrative that women should just enjoy orgasm-less sex is incredibly sexist. No one would ever ever …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 12:45 PM
77

Yea if I’m taking my clothes off around a man, it’s so he’s gonna be pleasing me; his pleasure is secondary to mine but the point is consent and mutuality. This attitude of “why give something away for free when you can be paid for it” when it comes to sex is so toxic and the inevitable result of raising women to be “sexually liberated” (sexually available to men) while not prioritizing their own pleasure and not raising men to give a fuck about female pleasure. If you raise a bunch of women to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 04:23 AM
15

I prefer the terms share or experience..as in “sex should be shared/experienced between people who value each other and respect each other’s bodies.” Or “I will not share my body with someone who doesn’t respect me, nor will I experience sex with someone who does not respect my boundaries.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 01:07 PM
23

Love her, love this. Strangely enough, though I was raised watching Disney movies and being surrounded by a marriage and motherhood centric culture, I absolutely never once played any games as a child that referenced that nor did I envision my life as an adult with any kind of husband or children in it. I encountered plenty of my own struggles regarding men, mainly via sexual harassment and assault, but I think I was spared a lot of the insecurities that other young women around me had, bc of my…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 01:02 PM
49

The stupidest part of all of that is that racism and homophobia and all of the other discrimination against marginalized groups actually does hurt the dominant group in certain (obviously not as severe) ways, however everyone fucking knows that when you’re talking about how an oppressed group is oppressed it’s extremely misguided, derailing, and ridiculous to start talking about how the dominant group is also hurt. That is, unless you’re talking about women and men. Then suddenly the conversatio…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 12:02 PM
1

I really think we underestimate the power of socialization, but also men are more prone to certain personality disorders like narcissism so I’m sure that’s a contributing factor as well. And there have been cultures where men (and women) were socialized to be gentle and nonviolent. Those cultures are fewer but that kind of makes sense bc of how warrior cultures would overtake a culture that didn’t value and wasn’t practiced in war. From what I understand about how testosterone operates, while hi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 03:50 AM
100

I’m going to reiterate this point because I think it’s so absolutely important and something that liberal feminism and liberals in general are completely ignoring deliberately. We are promoting a liberal attitude towards sex for women, while men’s attitude towards women and sex has largely not changed. These men are not viewing us as “liberated” women, they are viewing us as easily accessible free prostitutes. These men have as little respect for us as they always did, and their goal is still to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 08:22 PM
31

Gross, they’re gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 07:59 PM
54

You can literally go to therapy and not tell your bros about it if you’re worried about being “emasculated.” If you have the money to pay a prostituted woman, then you have the money to go to therapy. No excuses.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 07:30 PM
32

How badly is society gaslighting women and men gaslighting women for a woman to believe on any level even for a minute that this guy didn’t fuck that woman. This man has been gaslighting her for years, and we as a society of not raised women well enough to be able to see that shit for what it is straight out the gate to the point where they end up in this situation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 11:09 AM
22

These endocrine disrupters are a problem for women too, especially women who already have hormones imbalances like pcos or endometriosis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 12:49 AM
17

The combination of high rates of misogynistic sexual violence and the ubiquitousness of misogynistic violence in mainstream porn has produced a generation of women who genuinely believes that their desire to be sexually hurt is somehow natural to their sexuality rather than a development of the environment in which they were raised. And they are being told by the kink community that these invasive thoughts or fantasies or desires are natural and that they should simply indulge them instead of qu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 12:27 AM
42

And even just fear of not being able to financially support her children is enough to keep a mother married to an abusive man, even if she makes her own money, she may fear not being financially stable enough as a single mother.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 12:11 AM
88

This overwhelming love is part of what makes mothers so especially vulnerable to abusive husbands and boyfriends. Abusive men often use a mother’s love for her children against her to keep her in line.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 11:55 PM
39

That part made all of my bisexual holes automatically close up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 11:19 PM
57

The hormones aren’t making them this way though; it’s their entitlement. High testosterone men are not automatically misogynistic bc of their hormones. I think the hormone discussion is a distraction from the real issues. These men have the same problems that abusers and rapists do; they have incorrect narratives that feed a mindset of entitlement and allow them to make justifications for their misogynistic thoughts and behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 04:15 PM
18

I think they’ve watched too much racist cuckold porn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 01:45 AM
40

They really have a cuckolding fetish, huh?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 01:44 AM
30

I used to watch porn when I was a teenager. I noticed over time, my thoughts became more and more misogynistic and violent, and I was not watching porn that featured these messages in particular, it’s just that even the most basic vanilla porn has those messages imbedded in it. So after recognizing this in myself, and recognizing that my own history of sexual trauma was informing some of my sexual decision making and sexuality, I stopped watching porn. I also started studying radical feminism ar…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 07:09 PM
42

Thank you for sharing this, and I’m really really proud of you for finding healing. I was literally just talking about kink and the connection between trauma and kink for many people, and I was being down voted to hell in another sub Reddit for suggesting that human beings actually have some agency over what turns us on (sexuality, not sexual orientation). I have met many women who developed invasive thoughts or fantasies that revolve around violence and degradation immediately following a sexua…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 07:00 PM
22

Have you read Valerie Solanas’ SCUM manifesto? It might offer some insight on a certain type of mans mindset.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 11:27 AM
10

I understand that. I’m sure it varies depending on the topics and who’s contributing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 01:13 AM
65

I’ve actually found a lot of discussion and differing opinions here. More so than I expected. Not all of the women here have the same goals, so while the strategies are useful in general, we may and do often differ in the specifics that apply to our individual goals.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 11:31 PM
47

She was brilliant, and it breaks my heart to think of what she’d say about the state of the sexual exploitation industry now and it’s effect on children. People act all the time like the producers of pornography do not have an agenda. When you claim in one breath that pornography should be protected as free speech, you cannot claim with the next breath that it is not promoting a message. Messages that are reinforced via orgasm, one the most powerful reinforcement tools at our disposal. Pornograp…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 06:22 PM
57

Lots of women have problems with painful sex and yes it totally effects the relationship/makes it harder to find a relationship. I think many men would think it completely acceptable to divorce a woman if she can’t have sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 12:45 AM
55

TMI warning: My bf has had some minor issues ever since an emergency abdominal surgery he had many years ago. When we first became intimate, he was nervous and had difficulty staying erect. It’s rarely an issue now, but maybe once in a while he has had a really long day of work and is tired and just can’t get there at the time. And sometimes I can’t go a second round bc I’m sore or at a point in my monthly cycle where my cervix is lowered and PIV is painful or uncomfortable. So he eats me out, w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 12:43 AM
52

I learned to be very wary of men who praise your looks a lot and want to show you off or treat you like a prize to be won. It seems complimentary but it’s just objectification.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 11:47 PM
16

All of this is so true and it starts so young. I’m sure many of you experienced the excuse of “boys will be boys” or “he’s mean to you bc he likes you” when you were a young girl. Some of us even had abusive fathers who taught us that standing up for ourselves is far more dangerous than silent compliance. Girls are taught to never have boundaries, or at least never have boundaries that interfere with someone else’s desires, and we are taught that we should expect men and boys to treat us with di…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 10:15 PM
595

Yea I love bringing those statistics out whenever some dumbass dude tries to argue that women naturally want those things at a young age.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 06:44 PM
18

Fds hasn’t really changed my opinions on men. I’ve been wary of and cautious around men for a long time, bc of how I’ve been treated. It did make me appreciate my bf and male friends a lot more. While my relationship doesn’t follow all of fds rules (bc of my own boundaries and standards), my bf is definitely a hvm, and I know one or two hvm from work and as friends. I am reassured that I’m making the right decisions in my life and I know I will never lower my expectations for a man ever again. I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 04:55 AM
20

I dated a guy who ended up being abusive. Breaking up with him took several tries bc I was young and he kept going to therapy and showing that he was working on changing but it wasn’t enough. Finally I dumped him and demanded that he go to a therapy group for abusive men. He did go voluntarily and graduated, and started dating this woman whom he seemed to have a pretty calm relationship with. Then he got drunk and blew up at her and she dumped him. Now he’s in AA. Idk if he’ll ever change but I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 04:01 AM
23

Most men start watching porn when they are literally children. Is he suggesting that girl children start putting out for their peers? What a fucking loser.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 03:12 AM
9

Yea that’s why I wouldn’t recommend it to others. I find it pretty easy to tell genuine emotion from fake, but yea in general it’s way better to use a fake story as a test vs something real. The only reason I don’t is bc nothing a man can say when I first am getting to know him is going to be able to get to me, since I will just brush him off as an asshole if he tries to turn it against me. But I also knew my current bf for like 6+ months before we started the getting to know you phase of dating…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 02:59 AM
11

The goal should always be to leave any partner that you can’t trust your trauma with, and find a partner whom you can trust with your most painful scars. I stayed with a man who was not appropriately empathetic and of course realized later that he was not worth it. I won’t make that mistake again. Don’t stay with anyone who you can’t trust, and the moment you feel you can’t trust him, don’t make excuses to yourself about it. Trust your instincts. I’ve actually used my trauma as a litmus test for…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 02:05 AM
11

Ugh I hate how constantly perpetuated this nonsense is and how much propaganda there is towards women to encourage them to accept older men creeping on them/age gap relationships. I’m literally in an age gap relationship and it’s the first one I’ve ever been in and I’m really happy but I would never ever ever encourage anyone else to seek it out or to just trust the man has your best intentions at heart if he’s much older than you. 99.99% of men who date younger women are just fucking predators.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 12:37 AM
22

If you look throughout history, it’s very obvious that violence is primarily a socialized characteristic. Women have been violent in circumstances where they’ve been socialized to be violent, as exemplified by white slave owning women, or women in warrior cultures. As far as I know there isn’t any evidence that men with higher testosterone levels are more violent than men with low testosterone levels. That being said, the combination of testosterone and socialization to be violent makes men part…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 09:49 PM
60

So basically there is no age of consent. Bc if it’s “only rape if not consensual no matter what age the victim is” then the law applies the same way to adult women as to literal children. Wtf.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 01:31 PM
34

Paraphilia such as pedophilia or necrophilia used to be seen as unethical and horrific, but the porn industry has successfully relabeled these mutations of sexuality as “kinks” and now it’s not acceptable to “kink shame.” The idea that you can’t criticize something because it makes someone horny is absolutely nonsense. If someone is sexually attracted to something immoral it’s even MORE important to criticize any engagement with that paraphilia. We need to go back to calling these “fetishes” wha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 03:37 AM
32

Love how he’s “explaining” her uncomfortable demeanor bc he knows it looks FUCKING BAD. We see through you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 02:31 AM
19

This just makes me think of those many many interviews with the oldest women in the world, and when asked what the secret to a long life is, almost all of them say “I never got married” or “stay away from men.” Lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 01:40 PM
27

The change in manhood is because of two things. Porn and women gaining rights. Now just to be clear, women gaining rights wasn’t the issue, it’s that when women started gaining rights and more access to the workplace and the ability to earn their own income, men did not step up on the domestic side of things. We could’ve had a society where women started gaining more rights outside of the home and men stepped up inside the home, but men didn’t want to do that, so women just ended up having to ta…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 08:09 PM
12

The original ending just had her dying and the perpetrators never got caught. Which unfortunately is more realistic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 05:59 PM
4

I’m so sorry you had to go through that process, I went to the gyno so much during those times trying to figure out what was wrong!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 04:16 PM
25

Crazy, right? Us women and our fickle bodies and minds. /s The funniest part of this was that I thought for the longest time that I was the one with the problem, that my body was wrong, and that I needed to fix myself. Why wasn’t I happy? Why wasn’t I interested in sex/why wasn’t the sex satisfying anymore? I took it all on as something wrong with me, and didn’t realize that it was the relationships that were the problem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 07:39 AM
69

In all of my previous relationships, I lost interest in sex and/or could no longer have sex bc of pain, which was really just my body’s way of reacting to emotional distance, feeling unsafe or unloved, and other issues in the relationship. The men I dated either started treating me poorly, or stopped taking care of themselves/the house/our relationship. Why would I feel desire for someone who so obviously didn’t care about my desire? In my current relationship (no cohabitation, defined boundarie…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 12:26 AM
17

It’s deliberate. They are predators encouraging and teaching other men to be predators.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/21 01:32 AM
5

That’s why I said not excessively older. I think there is a limit but two people 10-15 ish years apart in age where the younger one is still well into adulthood are capable of being in a healthy relationship if both people are emotionally supportive and ethical. I didn’t mean to start a whole defense of age gaps thing, that’s not my intention here. It’s typically a very very bad idea and men who deliberately seek out younger partners almost always have a pattern of this behavior that is clearly …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 09:29 PM
46

This is great advice. Most age gap relationships are unhealthy and most men in age gap relationships are actually just predators.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 05:01 PM
21

If the younger person is over the age of 25 and the older person is not excessively older than they are, I think it can work, depending on the individuals and their relationship goals. That being said, it’s really rare for these relationships to be healthy, and I would not recommend it to anyone. The older man should be vetted to an extreme degree and should be completely devoid of red flag behaviors in accordance to the boundaries and standards of the younger partner. It’s best to just avoid it…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 02:39 PM
88

A lot of young women who tend to date older men say they are looking for someone mature; the problem is that almost all men who date younger women are not mature and are just manipulative predators. Like it’s not inherently bad to have an age gap, it’s just that the older men who seek out younger women are creeps. A good man who falls for a younger woman is going to seriously hesitate if not avoid a relationship altogether bc he knows the age difference is potentially making the relationship mor…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 01:33 PM
35

I would put money on these challenges being created by those porn addicted men. Notice how this challenge also involves showing off feet and MANY men have a feet paraphilia (foot fetish). This is so disturbing I had no idea this challenge was going around.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 03:07 AM
3

I started dating my bf before I found this sub. He is not wealthy, would not be considered a “chad” type, which I have never cared about whatsoever. He is a genuinely kind and generous person. He is empathetic, giving with his time and energy, honest and hardworking, and has an incredible amount of integrity, sometimes to his own detriment! He takes great pride in being a good, caring person with his friends and family. I wish I had known I could have this type of relationship when I was younger…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 01:02 AM
64

Leave the first time a guy shows you who he really is. No second chances. Don’t allow any man around you in any isolated or semi-isolated environment and never in your home unless you are absolutely %1000 sure he would never hurt you. Foster female friendships, women are awesome and you will find women who you connect with! Take care of and prioritize yourself; physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 12:37 AM
1

This point is so important. Filtering out the garbage (whether that’s bad men, predators, or just men who are dealbreakers for one reason or another) is much much harder, more risky, and more stressful than just reaching out to people you find attractive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 12:04 AM
15

Honestly I think both of these women have missed the mark by a long shot. Women do not have to just wait to be pursued; that kind of thinking makes us passive and leads to a lot of “options” which is just unwanted attention from bad men. A good man is going to leave you alone if you act uninterested bc they respect women and don’t want to harass anyone. A good man is going to want mutuality in pursuing bc he values partnership and connection. He’s going to want signals that you are consenting an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 11:55 PM
5

It’s very clear that this predators crimes were both racially and misogynist motivated, and that his actions are a hate crime against Asian women. The two are connected and can’t be separated when it comes to the experiences of women of color.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 11:39 PM
24

Jeff bridges has always come across as a really genuine, good person. He’s been married to the same woman for like 40 years and has done some philanthropic work to end child hungry and support environmental causes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 09:38 PM
26

I know a lot of women on fds are firm believers in the idea that a man should do all of these things, but to me these very shallow performative acts of paternalistic chivalry are merely infantilizing and insulting to my ability and intelligence as a woman. Low value men perform chivalry all the time, and it doesn’t make them high value, and plenty of high value men aren’t really about performative chivalry, though of course they are generous and thoughtful, and would protect any woman who genuin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 12:47 AM
21

Thank you for saying this!!!! Paying for dates and opening doors does not a high value man make, and many low value men are perfectly competent at playing the role of chivalrous gentleman while failing at being good partners, let alone good people. He should be teaching her about consent, how to identify red flag behavior, how to be independent, and what behaviors demonstrate emotional maturity and empathy (he might be doing this as well, but the focus on opening doors and paying for dates is wo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 12:40 AM
34

I want to add onto this that the violation of being penetrated or touched against your will and the inability to defend yourself is traumatizing in and of itself, even if you are not blamed and not held down. Being violated by someone, regardless of the rest of the circumstances, is itself traumatic, and men and boys need to be taught this if they can’t figure it out for themselves using common sense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 08:44 PM
6

Aw man that’s too bad, there are so many amazing female artists and particularly some really cool WOC/feminist artists! Some of them are only just starting to get recognition. Maybe one day when I have the time I’ll put together a post on feminist artists.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 06:36 PM
16

We need to stop calling these things “kinks” or “fetishes” and start calling them what they used to be called: Paraphilia or paraphilic disorders. Definition: Paraphilias are frequent, intense, sexually arousing fantasies or behaviors that involve inanimate objects, children or nonconsenting adults, or suffering or humiliation of oneself or the partner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 04:18 PM
7

Just commenting to say I love that you brought up Louise Bourgeois; she’s one of my favorite artists.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 04:13 PM
6

I love this idea. I don’t have Twitter or anything but the idea of spamming the #notallmen hashtag with feminist statements makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 04:05 PM
16

I’m childfree, but also intentionally marriage free and cohabitation free. It’s been interesting, to say the least, navigating dating while not being interested in the majority of traditional dating standards. I still use the same vetting process, though altered slightly for my relationship boundaries and parameters. I won’t date any man who is misogynistic, who won’t put in effort for me, or who refuses to commit or doesn’t clearly love me and demonstrate that love. I got a little lucky bc I me…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 10:34 PM
17

That entire post was such a fucking mess I could not read the comments without feeling nauseous. It was full to the brim of misogyny.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 09:48 PM
5

The number of people defending this guy for lying to his wife while she was working two jobs and desperately trying to support herself and her kids was astounding. And disgusting. Always vet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 07:41 PM
23

Men are mostly very aware of their “status” among other men. Women occasionally act like this too with other women but it’s rarer. With men of a certain type they always have to be pushing the weakest down so that they don’t get pushed to the bottom of the group; it’s very stressful and requires constant posturing and proving of masculinity. Like, ever wonder why guys are constantly trying to “prove” their masculinity to each other? Or why they play games like “nut tap” (hitting each other’s nut…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 11:43 AM
2

In my school they just allowed students to opt out and gave trigger warnings for readings. You would have to talk to the teacher about opting out but you would never have to disclose why. You just had to let the teacher know you were opting out so that alternative readings could be assigned. The alternative to having difficult subjects in books and allowing people to opt out, would be to never have any difficult subjects in books, which obviously is entirely unhealthy and unhelpful. It’s actuall…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 11:24 AM
17

Entitlement is the mentality behind a whole array of toxic male behaviors, up to and including domestic violence and rape. Men like this feel entitled to do what they want regardless of how it effects women. Destroying male entitlement on a structural and social level is crucial to female liberation from male violence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 01:53 AM
9

Omfg I should not have gone on this post or read the comments. I am thanking the goddess right now that my boyfriend with the lovely full beard is almost completely hairless on the rest of his body!!! 😵
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 11:56 PM
22

Robert Jensen is great; I read his book “getting off” several years ago. It’s a very tough read about pornography/the “sex” industry and its influence on and by male sexuality. Highly recommend reading anything written by him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 07:11 PM
35

I’m hoping he has some things in place to support girls who don’t want to read the book, and it may be required reading but there still needs to be an opt out option for survivors.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 06:48 PM
9

You have the right to refuse to be in a relationship with or be intimate with a man who does not take care of himself. My bf MUST shower when he comes over from work if he wants to be intimate with me. He values this and I value this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 03:58 PM
17

The last guy who assaulted me was an acquaintance for about five years, never had any sign he was dangerous or that he was at all interested in me. Never had any reason to suspect or fear him. And I’m already very suspicious of people and don’t let anyone get close to me. Now I never let anyone near me in any semi isolated situation ever except for people I absolutely know 100% would never hurt me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 05:04 AM
8

I feel like the talking stage should be for; getting to know each other to see if you are compatible, discussing goals and boundaries, making sure no red flags pop up before you’ve really committed, etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 12:36 PM
113

I don’t know where these men get their big “factz” about men and women. They are always so far off from reality it really seems like they are just making up the biggest bullshit they can think of and claiming it as truth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 03:47 AM
20

There was a woman I used to work with who already had a son, and when she was pregnant with her second child, she expressed how disappointed she was to find out the fetus was female. When she said this to me I was kind of taken off guard so I just replied that just because a child is a certain biological sex, doesn’t mean they will act or be a certain way, and that she has some say in how she raises her daughter and what kind of values she will impart on her children. I found a lot of the time t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 12:08 AM
3

Have you found any interesting articles or books that are a little more current? The invasion of capitalism and post modern individualism into feminism has really shaped the landscape we’re seeing now but I don’t often see anyone talk about that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 02:35 AM
1

I’ve only read parts too, just thought it was relevant to the conversation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 01:29 AM
16

Have you read Susan Faludi’s book Backlash? It’s about a lot of these shifts. It’s an older book but still relevant bc of the impact those events still have today.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 10:37 PM
16

My bf had a dead bedroom for five years. For five years, bc his wife has a medical problem, he was not having sex. He did not cheat on her, he did not guilt her, and he would never feel comfortable going to a prostitute, even with his wife’s permission bc he does not feel right about having sex with someone who is not fully consenting. He’s a charming, handsome man with a high sex drive, yet he was able to avoid lowering himself to what these other men and some women advocate for. It’s not inevi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 10:04 PM
5

I saw this and read the comments and your assessment is spot on. It was so fucked up I didn’t even bother to try to engage with the idiots on there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 03:21 AM
5

That part about those types of men commenting on feeling unsafe as a man is so important to respond to. So many times I’ve heard guys say the exact same thing and instead of using their experience as a reason for having empathy for women, they’re only using their experience as a way to shut down the discussion that women are having about our safety. It amazes me that they can experience lack of safety as a man and then deliberately ignore thinking about how they would feel if they were like a fo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 03:10 AM
8

I don’t see why we should legitimize buying the use of a persons body by claiming it’s a job or a business. People who want to make money from their bodies can just sugar baby themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 12:41 AM
15

These “willing” women would never exist in great enough numbers to satisfy the demand, so there will always be an influx of unwilling women to fill the gaps. Additionally, the existence of prostitution itself perpetuates the ideology that women and our bodies are things to be bought, and that ideology cannot coexist with the very crucial concept of consent.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 12:39 AM
39

Rachel Moran is amazing. Every time I’ve read her or heard her speak she impressed me with her eloquence and resilience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 06:04 PM
75

I saw a really illuminating quote from a woman who escaped prostitution, and she phrased it something like, “think about working as a waitress, except all the customers are male, and you have to have sex with all of them regardless of how attracted to them you are. And if you are not making enough money, you will have to consider doing even more acts that are degrading, painful, or otherwise unpleasant, just to pay your rent.” This quote spoke to me so much bc those type of service jobs helped m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 03:11 PM
5

Based on how they did the study to find these cells, I wonder if the same thing happens with female fetuses but they just can’t do the same study bc the mothers are obviously female as well and therefore those fetal cells can’t be traced the same way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 03:00 PM
26

Women who genuinely can’t attract partners typically don’t have the entitlement about it that incel men do. They internalize and work on making themselves into a more likable and conventionally attractive person. Women aren’t socialized to be sexually entitled the way men are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 01:44 PM
31

How little attention must you be putting towards the “baby” in your arms to not even realize that it’s not moving, doesn’t weigh what it’s supposed to, isn’t making noise, isn’t warm like a human being??? Honestly I would never trust this man to watch the child without ensuring he is not distracted, if just a game can make him this unobservant.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 01:33 PM
12

As long as shelters can also take in abused men and give them specific resources that apply to them, I think they can serve the same purpose as dedicated women’s shelters. And lgbt shelters are necessary as well. Then everyone is taken care of!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 11:38 AM
5

This interview with Peggy Orenstein might be useful here. Unfortunately it seems that so many adult women are completely unfamiliar with what truly gives them pleasure bc so much of what we are taught about female sexuality revolves around being objectified. It starts when we are young and continues to haunt us until we have no idea how to have sex without being disconnected from ourselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 03:19 AM
5

I don’t think I’m qualified but I hope one of the mods does this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 02:58 AM
19

We should make a welcome post for all the new participants she’s helping bring here!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 09:28 PM
19

Ahhhhhhhhh ew gross wtf So not surprised but fuck that’s gross 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 09:21 PM
2

A basic understanding of socialization and advertising tells us that pretty much all of our decisions are influenced in one way or another and it’s not just women who are influenced but men as well and everyone else of every identity. The choice of toothpaste I used this morning was influenced by my upbringing, exposure to advertisement, education and awareness, and what options are available at my local pharmacy. Advertise it wouldn’t be the 138 billion industry it is if it were ineffective. Ge…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 01:29 PM
4

I don’t think anyone at fds would look down on a woman whose boyfriend or husband has mental illness or other issues as long as he is taking responsibility for himself and getting help. Fds is more concerned with women who stay in toxic relationships bc the man uses his issues as an excuse for his behavior. And this is extremely common!!! Women are often raised to give men the benefit of the doubt and tolerate abuse or unhealthy behavior bc “he just needs time to get himself together” or “he has…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 01:15 PM
2

It was about a post that linked to an article about the proposed Alabama law that would require men to get a vasectomy after their third child or after age 50. Its a satirical proposal meant to counteract/make visible how unjust the laws about abortion are to women. “The bill's sponsor, Democratic state Rep. Rolanda Hollis, said the measure gives perspective to reproductive health laws, including the state's contested abortion ban.” “Hollis said the proposal is meant to "neutralize" the Human Li…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 01:01 PM
50

That’s fucking terrifying and a HUGE red flag that he’ll escalate to stalking or violence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 07:47 PM
15

It really depends but the odds are a hell of a lot better than getting a conviction for a criminal case bc the burden of proof is much lower. What sucks most about it is the statute of limitations is much shorter than a criminal charge.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 04:38 AM
29

This may not apply in your case, but isn’t bringing a civil case (personal injury based lawsuit) against an abuser/rapist meant for the purpose of getting some type of reparation for the offenses committed? For anyone who’s experiencing something similar, it may be worth looking into and speaking with a sexual violence crisis center.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 04:08 AM
44

I tried to explain to some loser that being offered the opportunity to have your body used as a masturbatory device by a man is NOT a benefit. Women having an easier time “getting sex” is not really accurate, bc most of the time, the sex being offered is more akin to assault. Men who think women have the upper hand have no idea what bad sex actually feels like for a woman. At best it’s uncomfortable or boring, at worst it’s painful and traumatic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 12:34 AM
37

Yes of course there will always be bad people, however if 99/100 murderers walked free I’m pretty sure the number of murders would be a hell of a lot higher. And that’s literally only talking about estimated numbers in the US. I can’t imagine how abysmal the rape conviction rate is in countries where sexual assault is even more accepted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 07:21 PM
42

You can teach people how to behave by instituting social and legal consequences for harmful behavior. We have very few consequences for male sexual violence everywhere in the world and therefore there is nothing to give men pause when they want to commit crimes against women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 07:12 PM
22

Desiring sex, desiring community, and desiring emotional intimacy are biological, but none of these biological desires are required or even naturally take place in a monogamous, “one man, one woman” relationship. Throughout history, humans have had all sorts of (romantic, familial, and friend) relationship arrangements, and the patriarchal myth that in order to feel fulfilled, a person must find and cohabitate with their “one true soulmate” is simply propaganda. If we’re going to romanticize any…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 04:29 PM
40

It’s so awesome that you’re setting an example as an alternative to social convention. When I was a little girl, I always envisioned my life as an adult as one of independence and singleness. I never considered having a husband, and I never really considered dating or fantasized about any kind of romance. Even though this was naturally how I thought of myself in my life, I had zero examples of adult women who lived this way, and I felt like there was something wrong with me for being who I am. I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 04:14 PM
40

I mean, I get where she’s coming from but this is pretty stupid. Egg donation is a hell of a lot more invasive and risky and requires a lot more of the donator than sperm donation. If sperm donation were similarly difficult and risky, I’m sure it would also pay better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 01:40 AM
38

The saddest part about all of this is that if they do you go see a therapist, especially a “sex positive” therapist, it’s very likely that the therapist won’t help (or won’t know HOW to help) them recover from BDSM. What she really needs is a trauma specialist, bc that’s what this was/is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 07:54 PM
14

I really really really hope she dumped his ass and broke his heart in the process. What an absolute piece of shit. And every man in the comments can go to fucking hell too, especially that absolute prick who compared women to fire hydrants. My bf (who started dating me right after I was raped and has been a support system throughout the process) would be unbelievably offended by the assumption that he is like a dog and too stupid and too selfish to empathize with me and consider my needs in my h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 01:35 AM
31

Porn does the same for violence, degradation, and misogyny, hence why so many men end up with ED after becoming addicted to porn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 10:01 PM
87

This is actually how I’ve avoided a lot of bad relationships and bad experiences with men (though I’ve certainly had a lot, mostly not of any of my own doing). I just never gave a fuck about being in a relationship. I didn’t try to find a boyfriend ever, I’ve never tried to impress guys though of course I had fun flirting with them, and I never cared if a guy was interested in me because it didn’t mean anything about my worth. I still ran into fuck bois, rapists, and other assorted predators, bu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 08:25 PM
27

Yes, this situation is so awful and reminds me just how much women need other female support (not a cruel mil) throughout every stage of our lives and especially if we want children.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 02:02 AM
126

Sadly, I think motherhood could be very empowering in a female centered, matriarchal, community oriented environment. Imagine if women had all of the scientific knowledge to be truly supported in pregnancy and childbirth, and a community of women around them to help raise their children. So much power has been taken from us, and we are so isolated from each other and from our human history of female solidarity and support. Personally I am child free and I advocate for adoption instead of procrea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 01:07 AM
15

And this is where I slip in “has anyone read SCUM manifesto by Valerie Solanas?” Very interesting perspective and insight on why a certain type of men act the way they do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 04:48 PM
14

I am absolutely not worried about them replacing women. The type of misogynistic sadists who would purchase these dolls, are never going to be able to get their satisfaction from an inanimate object that can’t actually feel pain or degradation. These type of men will always have to find a real target for their abuse. These dolls may be able to mimic real human pain and real human degradation but they will never actually feel any of the pain or emotions that sadistic misogynistic men want women t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 04:42 PM
2

Not surprised but very disappointed. So gross how all these assholes claiming to be experts are really just shills for a toxic, abuse industry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 02:07 PM
62

The “metaphors” (can they be called metaphors when they’re so fucking obvious?) of mother! were very tired and boring. By the time it got to the misogynistic violence, all I could think was can’t he think of something more original or at least a more interesting and less objectifying way of portraying the ideas he is conveying? The director was dating Lawrence at the time, if I remember correctly. The boob shots were entirely uncalled for and really distracted from the message.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 02:18 AM
5

I’ve personally had to cut out a lot of music that has explicitly misogynistic lyrics bc it’s distracting and just makes me depressed. I also listen to a lot of hip hop and have had to seek out less misogynistic artists and women artists. My music catalogue has actually improved significantly from this, and I don’t feel like I’m lacking in good music to choose from at all. It definitely has an effect on society to have so much misogyny in music. I feel that having more positive perspectives of w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 01:46 AM
13

There are many different tribes and some are more matriarchal than others. As far as I understand it though, most indigenous women’s rapes, kidnappings, and deaths are perpetrated by men outside of the reservation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 03:50 AM
55

Also yes, we should examine and critique any job, culture, practice, or social setting in which abuse is rampant and power imbalances are a prerequisite to participation. Feminists of the 60’s and 70’s certainly critiqued religion and family structures (most feminists still do!), and if the abuse in gymnastics had been known about then, they would have been critiquing that too. The idea that anything is beyond critique, particularly the fallacy that anything involving sexual pleasure is beyond c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 12:28 PM
36

A lot of these women who adopt the “bimbo” aesthetic claim that it is an expression of power to “look and be like every mans fantasy” while refusing to have sex with those men. They think this means they are winning the game. It does not work that way, and it is not an expression of power to play into patriarchal stereotypes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 09:51 PM
21

I legitimately gasped out loud when he said that. Wtf 😬
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 12:50 AM
3

I’m in an age gap relationship, but I’m 30, and in your late 20’s and beyond, the life differences between two people of a slightly larger age gap are much less dramatic, because both people typically have settled into their lives, careers, and selves to a certain extent. I would not recommend an age gap relationship to anyone, and certainly didn’t anticipate myself choosing one. At your age, and this is not me talking down to you at all, but you still have so much settling into yourself to do. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 01:23 AM
5

I think one of the biggest barriers I’ve seen to young women understanding what a raw deal they are getting with casual sex are the following: Never having had very good sex before. Not wanting a relationship themselves, so they think they have to put up with fuckboy shit in order to have a sex life. Not realizing that they can put boundaries in their relationships (so they are not leading to somewhere they don’t want) while also getting good sex. I would not get good sex out of casual sex, but …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 11:57 PM
7

I’m in an age gap relationship and I would never pull this shit that is soooooo cringe ugh I am embarrassed for her whether it’s real or faked. Ew.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 10:15 PM
3

I especially see so much value in fds for the women who do want marriage and kids. If that’s a priority to you, then finding the right person to accomplish those goals with is of the utmost importance. So many men, even the feminist minded ones, don’t realize how they are still perpetuating inequitable gender roles, and it’s hard when you’re a young woman with young children to advocate for yourself unless you have a strong community of like minded women supporting you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 02:24 PM
3

Yea I didn’t know if I should join this community at first bc some of my life choices (poly, no marriage, no cohabitation, no kids) are a little outside the norm, but everyone here has been really chill, and anytime I disagree with something, people are open to my opinion and I don’t get offended if someone has a different opinion than I do or is critical of my choices. I love that this sub doesn’t tolerate men; so many feminist communities are waaaayyy to tolerant and it just results in patriar…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 02:17 PM
3

Yea I did not expect to find so much feminism on this sub, as it’s not labeled that way. And I certainly didn’t expect to find so much anti-feminism on the “feminist” subs. It’s a little backwards but whatever, you ladies over here are very chill and I appreciate what this community is working towards. I know so many young women in my life who would benefit from having a community more like this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 02:09 PM
2

Yea that’s pretty much verbatim what the initial response was. I really don’t see what’s so anti-feminist about fds; I get that there is language like “pickme” and women are sometimes criticized, but I really don’t see much of anything on here that is anti feminist, and the majority is explicitly feminist. Being critical of men and critical of women who support patriarchy is kind of crucial to feminism in general.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 02:07 PM
1

Yea I don’t have the sources offhand anymore, but I’ve read a good bit about sex offenders and the pros and cons of rehabilitation practices as part of my college education.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 01:31 PM
5

It took me a moment to process what I possibly could have said or done to warrant that response. I really make an effort to be thoughtful in what I post, and so much of my time on Reddit is spent literally supporting rape and abuse victims. To be silenced like that (having my comments deleted) just felt very shitty.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 01:18 PM
6

I don’t even agree with every single thing posted here, mostly bc my personal goals in life are different from the traditional so things like engagements, marriage, and kids don’t apply to me, but I understand the reasoning and logic behind it and I support women who want those things. Not all feminists believe the same things, and we can argue about what beliefs and actions are more supportive of feminist activism, that’s the whole point of having these discussions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 01:14 PM
11

Ah that makes a lot of sense. It completely boggles my mind that what was once very basic feminist theory is now considered off limits bc the propaganda of the porn industry was so successful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 01:02 PM
19

That explains a lot. I don’t think the person who initially banned me was male though, although of course online anyone can claim anything. Are there any feminist subs that aren’t male run? Or at least more open to genuine feminist theory (dworkin and Susan brownmiller and the like)?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 12:37 PM
26

The first photo is the comment I posted that got me banned. Apparently, they don’t “want my kind” there, and I’m not representative of feminism bc in a member of this sub. Now keep in mind, I don’t live my life in full according to the rules and recommendations of this sub, nor do I agree with every single thing that’s posted here because I’m an individual person and not a cult member. I enjoy following subs on Reddit that I want to participate in and bring something to the conversation. A lot o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 12:36 PM
13

This tea is boiling ☕️🫖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 12:57 AM
33

Sounds like he was only nice to you bc he thought throwing you enough nice points would get him action. He does not sound like a nice person at all, plus it sounds like he has a lot of emotional issues.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 03:11 PM
17

I have conversations about feminism with my bf relatively frequently. He always listens and responds thoughtfully, and even enjoys it sometimes when I’m being particularly passionate. I can tell he’s genuine bc of the way he responds; he’s not rehearsed, he’s not regurgitating well worn “woke” shit, he’s changed his mind and behavior in certain ways as he learned more and grew as a person. He’s also honest about the ways he still is working on himself, and the things he struggles with. There are…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 11:45 PM
20

Tbh, the current ending is bleak enough for me, I kind of hate that women still suffer at the end. No thanks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 11:25 PM
32

The original ending just had no justice at all, much more realistic unfortunately.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 09:51 PM
21

Yea the propaganda really worked well. I always thought it was bizarre too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 05:04 PM
23

Oh god that is so sad, I didn’t realize that these medications could result in not being able to detox from them. Its even more horrifying than I realized.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 05:03 PM
43

Yes! Thank you for adding this. And not that I care about the state of the men who took advantage of this arrangement, but they were also very unhappy and had frequent affairs and alcoholism was rampant. Pretty much no one was happy with this on either side of the equation, with women undoubtedly getting the worse end of the deal. Unequal power distributions do not make happy marriages or relationships at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 04:47 PM
157

And those arrangements that people think worked well for both sexes that the woman would stay home and be wife and mother and housekeeper and the man would work and provide....didnt actually work well for most people for most of human history. It’s based off of a very very short time frame around the 50’s in middle and upper class white society, which only happened bc of a very distinct economic environment that no longer exists and didn’t much exist before that time period. Plus women were deni…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 03:24 PM
18

I wish I could astral project into these women’s dreams and just be like “girl. For real? What the fuck where ARE your standards?”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 01:45 AM
2

It’s really not a surprise to me that the people who are completely immersed in a culture that sexualized violence against women, would take on those beliefs no matter how contradictory they are to healthy, progressive living. Our early sexual experiences and early exposure to sexual content place in an enormous role in shaping our sexuality unless we do the work to remove that influence from our lives. It’s really sad and disturbing that so many people spend their entire lives reproducing the s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 09:46 PM
17

The comment underneath is especially important. Women adopt this masochistic and self hating behavior not because it’s natural to women, but bc they are suffering through some kind of trauma/depression/other mental illness. It’s a symptom of psychological distress. They need help, not more abuse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 02:49 PM
25

That’s not what she originally was saying. Idk what the comic originally wrote for her but I doubt it had much depth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 02:31 PM
27

And then that same guy turns out to be a serial sexual predator and yet what’s problematic is the women who speak out. SMH
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 02:25 PM
35

There’s an r/antipornography subreddit and a lot of guys (including a lot of young guys) are on it. I think a lot of younger guys who were exposed to pornography really early in life come to realize how bad it is when they get into their early 20s and 30s and can’t form healthy relationships, have trouble maintaining erections, and start to have real consequences of their early porn exposure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 02:20 PM
18

Time and time again in subreddits dedicated to sexual trauma and abuse, woman after woman (and girls as well bc some are underage) confess that they have begun to have fantasies related to their traumatic experiences. They are distressed, and feel shame, and believe that this change to their sexuality is permanent. If they go to a “sex positive” or “bdsm positive” therapist, they will tell them that these fantasies based in trauma are normal and that they should simply indulge them. This is nons…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 02:40 AM
6

Is there any chance I can ask you a few questions about this that are more specific in a message.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 09:07 PM
7

These men really think that us women constantly have good sex and good relationships thrown at us just bc we have vaginas. If they actually had to try to date as a woman for a day they would be fucking miserable lmao what fools
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 02:12 PM
3

Haven’t studies shown that men sexually peak in their twenties while women peak in their thirties?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 04:51 AM
3

This is such an important message. It’s not the object itself that’s is the point of importance, it’s the significance of the act. My bf knows I don’t care about expensive things, but he gave me a very nice and simple necklace in exactly my style that he knew I would like for our anniversary. He also built a beautiful handmade box out of wood to put the necklace in, bc he knew this would be of great significance to me. He put time, money, energy, thought, and effort into giving me things he knew…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 04:47 AM
45

Back in the day we used to call these things paraphilia (a condition characterized by abnormal sexual desires, typically involving extreme or dangerous activities), and everyone recognized that there is an incredibly strong connection between paraphilia and violent and/or sexually criminal behavior. Men with paraphilia are not just engaging in a “fantasy” that stays in their heads, they are indulging their abnormal sexual desires, making them stronger via repeated orgasm conditioning. That “dadd…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 08:23 PM
1

This is the last time I will be responding. I am a healthy fertile woman with a functional uterus. I am on birth control and am responsible in taking it. If I were to become pregnant, it would cause extreme psychological and physical harm to be forced to carry that pregnancy to term. I would not survive the pregnancy. I would be denied an abortion if the only legal abortions were based on some government definition of medical necessity. The link I added is a perfect example of how this kind of r…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 11:39 PM
1

Pregnancy absolutely is considered a medical condition. It requires medical care, regardless of whether the pregnancy is continuing or ending. Abortions are medically necessary medical care. Many many pregnancies end in natural miscarriage and require abortive care to remove the dead fetal tissue, and many pregnancies cannot be brought to term bc of the physical or mental health of the pregnant person. Abortion is a medically necessary medical procedure just like any other medically necessary me…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 07:24 PM
1

I’m comparing two medical conditions that require proper medical care.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 07:09 PM
1

And I suppose if I have a cavity I can just grab a pair of pliers and yank my own tooth out, bc we as a society shouldn’t be arsed with providing medical care for people who need it.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 12:32 PM
2

Stop generalizing women, many of us don’t want that kind of attention. Many of us dress nicely bc WE like fashion, or we like being comfortable, or we like the way we look and it has absolutely nothing to do with men and is inversely related to how men treat us. I habitually dress down everywhere I go because I don’t want attention from men and in fact, I cannot wear the clothes that I want to wear (nothing revealing just fashionable) and look the way I wanna look because of the way men will tre…
/r/seduction29/01/21 01:09 PM
1

Wow, so many of these answers only hit on one or two accurate things and then a bunch of sexist stereotypes against both men and women. Anyone who studies abusive behavior would know that abusers don’t start off being abusive to their target. If they did they could never find targets because everyone would stay away from them instantly upon being abused by them before developing any kind of connection to them. Abusers start off being kind, compassionate, attentive, and many other wonderful thing…
/r/seduction12/11/20 02:44 PM
-1

Feminists are working for female liberation, not male liberation. There are plenty of feminists who denounce the unnecessary practice of male circumcision too, however female genital mutilation is quite literally the removal of the clitoris and often the sewing closed of the vagina. It’s by far more harmful and abusive than circumcision, takes away all pleasure, results in severe health consequences (unlike circumcision), and is most often done without any medical training, hygiene, or medical c…
/r/MensRights02/02/20 09:12 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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