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jgjg9999 Archive

View 4 posts and 181 comments by jgjg9999 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

I'm pretty sure they are but I don't follow up. I was lucky not to have kids with her so I was able to make a clean break. I'm actually doing pretty great, I improved a lot of personal relationships and friendships that got pushed to the side over the years. I've had a few flings but haven't been looking either. If it happens I meet someone I'd be open to it but the stress free life I live now would be hard to give up.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/24 12:00 PM
6

It's been about 5 years. They got married within months of the divorce being finalized. It stung at first but now I'm good. Sleazy cheaters deserve each other. I am pretty much ruined on the institution of marriage but that just protects me from financial ruin again.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/24 04:00 PM
9

It will take time. My story was very similar. We celebrated our 20 year anniversary in the Bahamas, I got the love you forever note, and then about 2 weeks later she told me out of the blue that her boss at work was her soul mate. I know it's extremely difficult, but focus on business now, get a lawyer and do what you can to not get fleeced. Find some people to talk to, this group helped me a lot. Knowing other people have been through the same thing can be cathartic. Lots of good advice here.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/24 02:49 PM
4

Statisticly, relationships spawned from affairs rarely work out. I do my best to ignore it and just focus on my stuff.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/24 02:39 AM
4

Damn, my X did the same thing. Literally gave me the I love you but I'm not in love with you speech and left the same day and moved in with her boss. The whole time denying she was cheating and he was just a good friend helping her out. They got married like a month after our divorce was finalized. Pretty sickening to keep seeing my story lived out by so many dudes. And these will be the "single" women in the dating market once their affairs go belly up.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/24 09:39 AM
4

I worked with a guy like this (for over 25 years). His wife treated him like absolute dog shit. Many times he was living in his car or at his mom's house because his wife kicked him out. She never worked but spent every dime he made. He was working 12 hour shifts 5-6 days a week and would come in 2-3 hours early and sit in the break room because he didn't want to be at home. We all told him to just pull the plug but he just had this mental barrier about losing his retirement or paying alimony. H…
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/24 07:08 AM
9

Good for you, congrats. No need to rush things, especially marriage. Honeymoon periods do end.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 08:31 AM
4

If she has a lawyer, you need a lawyer. I know it sucks but the legal system is almost setup to screw you when you try to represent yourself. It sounds like you are still trying to take care of your soon to be X. You need to change that mentality pretty quick like yesterday. I can just about guarantee the lawyer will flip her mentality from "clean equal break" to "get what I deserve" it's their job and how they get paid. Depending on where you live the waiting period before the final decree give…
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 07:49 AM
6

I've found most single people these days who live on their own either have multiple jobs or work crazy hours. I work nights and weekends myself and it makes meeting people even more difficult. My X never helped with anything around the house so at least that was an easy transition. I've been single going on 4 years, I went on a few dates and had a two week fling with a mutual acquaintance but otherwise just have been enjoying time by myself and hanging out with friends and family. Based off what…
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 07:45 AM
1

So did you start out poly or did she drop that on you later?
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/24 03:43 AM
3

I'm in a fairly similar situation, except I was married 20 years. I know exactly what you're talking about with all this "pill" shit. The internet will turn into an echo chamber pretty quick. I don't have much advice, but you're not alone. I've just been doing my own thing for the last few years. Living very chill and peaceful at the moment, albeit lonely at times.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/24 09:03 AM
20

She's not giving you the whole story. You basically caught her and she's still trickle truthing you. Call a lawyer. Don't waste time on counseling. I'm telling you from experience. I was in the same spot. Took years to get back to a place where I could trust but it completely changed my outlook on her and marriage in general. She ended up cheating again and left with her affair partner about 12 years after cheating the first time. I wasted half my life with her trying to make it work, don't be m…
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 08:24 AM
8

You seem hyper focused on the dating aspect, don't rush too fast or you will end up with xwife #2.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/24 06:46 AM
13

Never wanted kids so I got snipped at 19. I now thank my lucky stars that I didn't have kids with my cheating X wife and could completely cut her out of my life.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 08:17 AM
9

I've been single just over 3 years apart from a short fling. I was married 20 years, my wife cheated at least once that I knew about and ended up leaving me for another guy. When I was married I was constantly stressed out, I always needed to keep her entertained, always needed to be planning the next trip, always doing some project around the house. Since I've been on my own I have almost no stress. I come and go as I please, I'm saving money but still get to spend on things I want. I work on p…
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 03:57 AM
19

Yeah, my cheating X wife on the day she left told me I was "a perfect husband" but after 25 years together she found her soul mate was her supervisor at work. That probably fucked me up more than anything. Why even try again?
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/24 09:37 AM
3

Yeah it's probably unpopular but it's backed up by the dismal marriage and overall relationship success statistics.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/24 07:48 AM
12

Like enough time to rack up one more divorce lol?
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/24 10:49 AM
8

Yeah me too. I was so naive I thought I was all alone. After seeing my story told by 100 other guys I turned a corner. Plus the stories here keep me frosty so I don't fall into a shitty relationship again.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/24 03:19 PM
4

I got into cigars. It's a hobby and lifestyle all wrapped in one. It's super relaxing to actually sit down and smoke a good cigar, plus you have the research and collection aspect. Also it's a great way to meet new friends down at a cigar lounge or even just get out of the house and have a good conversation.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/24 08:23 AM
8

My man, your soon to be X wife just sent you on the path to becoming a dick also. A lot of the guys in this group dish out tough love because we've all been there.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 09:46 AM
5

Kramer's speech on marriage and family is gold.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 03:13 AM
2

My X did the same thing almost play by play except she married the AP. We filed without lawyers and basically did a 50/50. In my case she's SOL. Check you're paperwork.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 03:58 PM
7

Agree life is good. For me personally not so lucky on the apps but I'm not really that worried about dating anymore. Effort vs reward is lacking.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 10:25 AM
2

Me too, I'd rather be cynical than working on divorce #2
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 06:00 AM
2

I'm right there with you. I'm glad it's not just me. I went on a few dates and probably spent a couple hundred bucks and didn't enjoy it at all.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 05:47 AM
9

Decades working in management has taught me that escalating with emotions never makes anything better or easier, never, not once. Keep calm and stick to business as much as possible. Limit contact to things related to the kids only once the legal side is done. Hang in there.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 04:21 AM
6

Ugh, I had to part with my dream car also. C7 Corvette grand sport. I don't miss the cheating X wife but I sure miss that car. That's OK, it will be even better when I get the next one, even if it takes me 10 years to save up again.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/24 09:04 AM
13

So you aren't even divorced and you're already living with another woman and they both cheated? Damn dude, if there was ever a reason to go monk this is it.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/24 09:35 AM
1

Yup I got that also. I was told she only married me to get away from her parents. This was right after our 20 year anniversary. She was also banging her boss. It's mind boggling how they can re-write history.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/23 10:11 AM
1

Eh, the heart wants what it wants I guess. For me it's not worth losing a friend over, I'll just be there for him on the 70%(2nd and 3rd at bats) chance it goes south. I'm watching my brother stumble into a real doozy right now.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/23 05:16 PM
24

Dog, beer, cigars, Die Hard. Enjoy the peace and quiet brother!
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/23 10:09 AM
2

Absolutely agree. I've been out drinking with friends a few times, and apparently when I'm drunk I gravitate heavily to the single ladies lol. We're programmed for it, lizard brain stuff. As an average looking old guy though I personally get almost zero attention from women.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/23 07:42 AM
27

Good for you man. One piece of advice, don't base your future happiness off landing another woman (or gaining validation from women in general). I'm not against relationships, but my true contentment came when I realized I can be happy all by myself. Any future relationship if it happens for me is just icing on the cake. If it doesn't work out, no big deal. I had a cheating X as well so I know how much of a kick in the balls it is to your self worth.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/23 06:09 AM
2

No, the matching tats were just an image. She did have my name tattooed also but hers would be way easier to cover up.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/23 04:14 AM
3

I'm a double idiot, I have her name and we have matching tattoos (together 25 years before she cheated). The matching tats no big deal, I picked the design and it has meaning to me on my own. The name tattoo is in the middle of my sleeve and I'm not sure what I could do that wouldn't mess up the surrounding art or just be a big black blob. So far I have just left it as a "least I forget" reminder to never get married again.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/23 03:28 AM
3

Yup been there too.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 04:53 AM
1

I love my cat, but vent brother vent.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 10:51 AM
15

Depending on where you are if the laws are 50/50 split you could end up giving her half the value of whatever you buy. Don't plan on any pre-arranged deals. Once the lawyers get involved it will be "I want what I deserve," and they will push her to fight for every nickel to run up your legal fees. In my opinion, file yourself, take the L, and in 6 months you can buy a new truck with what you save no longer dealing with her excessive spending. What the hell does a person spend 10k on a month anyw…
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/23 03:51 PM
4

Looking down the barrel of today by Hatebreed. I'm going to have to listen to some Hardy, I saw him last year at Welcome to Rockville in Daytona. I had never heard of him before that. People were hating on him but I think he was just an odd fit for that festival.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/23 05:33 AM
1

Yes, I am noticing that as well. At my age I would rather stay single than risk ending up with another one of her. That sad fact is that probably the best bet is meeting someone who had an equally shitty husband but were all so guarded at this point it makes it really hard to trust.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/23 09:10 PM
13

I'm right there with you, about 2 years post divorce. I haven't done hardly any dating. When I get on the apps and see all the divorced status women my mind automatically wonders if she is like my X wife and blew up her marriage as well. My X was a cheater so I think that fucked me up on another level. I did have a brief fling with a lady I met in a bar. The sex was awesome but after a couple weeks she was constantly talking about her terrible X husband and how he abandoned his kids and I damn n…
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/23 06:29 AM
1

No shit, I didn't think anyone cared anymore. Fingers crossed for you my man.
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/23 02:55 AM
6

No fault divorce so it really doesn't matter. She's a shit person and it will come around for her at some point. My X gave me the I'm not happy and then moved in with her supervisor at work the same day. The sooner you get to the point that you realize She's someone else's problem now the better. It took me a while to get there.
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/23 02:23 AM
5

Yeah, it's a mistake we all need to learn for ourselves unfortunately. That's why I don't bother trying to talk people out of it. I'll for sure be there for them if it goes south.
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/23 02:18 AM
6

Yes, and don't forget that cool guys don't look at explosions.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/23 06:42 AM
1

Well, I know I learned a very important life lesson. Some women will never be happy no matter what you do for them. She's some other dude's problem now.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/23 12:42 AM
3

No, I had just become accustomed to doing all the work in the relationship (cooking, cleaning, paying bills, planning trip, so on). Except for the relationship being so unbalanced we got along really well. We never fought, still had a decent sex life after 20+ years and were on the way to being really well off financially. Then I got the "I'm not happy" because she realized her supervisor at her job was her true soul mate. She left pretty much out of the blue and moved in with him. Stung pretty …
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/23 10:22 PM
6

Damn sounds just like my X. She would eat a candy bar and throw the wrapper on the floor. Mine was a cheater also and did me the favor of leaving me for another guy. I totally understand how easy it is to get stuck.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/23 08:21 AM
11

Dude. All of us with cheating X wife's know this shit is going to happen to them in the long run but most of us don't get the photographic evidence. Congrats.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/23 09:40 AM
2

Good on you man!
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/23 03:32 PM
3

I feel ya, I used to go to Orlando twice a year. All my memories are tainted now. My advice is find your own place. I go to Vegas now, talk about a great place to have fun solo. Make your own new memories.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/23 04:04 AM
27

THOT'S and prayers.....
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/23 07:59 AM
1

Nail on the head, at least from a fellow jaded dude's opinion.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/23 02:38 AM
1

Gas and at least 5 burners. A convenction oven would be sexy as hell too.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/23 11:44 PM
1

Statistical dumb fuck 🤣🤣🤣. I suppose it's better to laugh then cry.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/23 11:07 PM
5

Yup, right here. I've dated a few times and had a short fling with a woman that was the first sex I had since being divorced. No butterflies, no sparks. All I see are red flags and the potential for the next one to ruin my now peaceful life. I'm over 40 now, I'd be open to it but I think I'm too analytical/too old for it to happen again.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/23 03:14 PM
4

Most relationships fail, and plenty of people end up stuck and wishing they were single. Work on getting to the point where you are good on your own. Be careful though, you might find you don't want to give up your freedom once you can enjoy your own company. Focus your attention on your kid and friends. Women come and go.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/23 09:25 AM
4

Don't be too hard on yourself. When you spend nearly half your life with someone it's not going to be just a "man up and shake it off" type of deal. You have the right mindset and it will get easier with time. I was with my X for almost 25 years, married when I was 18. It's been about two years since we split and I still often think about how it's possible for someone to become a completely different person, or hide their true self for decades. I don't think I'll ever really understand.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/23 07:03 AM
7

Unfortunately it's hard to trust anyone these days. The first time my X cheated it was with one of my friends. Makes it suck that much more because you lose two people. Brother pushes that shit to another level, hang in there man.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/23 02:21 AM
2

Just be there for him if/when shit goes left. Unfortunately this is a bitter pill most men need to swallow on their own. Looking back my X had every red flag in the book, I was 18 when I got married. Nothing anyone would have told me would have detailed my train to misery.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/23 08:37 AM
3

You know your wife has to sign it right? They normally don't like those so much lol.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/23 10:52 AM
2

That's a good mentality to have. It was 25 years for me and she's married to the AP less than a year after the divorce for me so I feel you man. Honestly after spending half your life with someone I doubt it will ever go away completely.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/23 10:35 PM
3

It's been over two years for me. I have those panic attack dreams as well. It's probably some type of PTSD. I still think about it the same way, I would say it's slowly getting better. I wish I could just blank my memory of her altogether.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/23 10:48 AM
8

I kept the house. Repainted, replaced carpet, made it my own. It's not the house's fault my X was a lying cheater.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/23 10:31 AM
1

Nope, even if she had way more assets than me I would be afraid of false allegations if things went south.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 11:26 PM
9

Prenups seem to be just one more thing to fight over in court. You'll end up losing what you were trying to save in legal fees.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 11:22 PM
31

In most cases the next guy is lined up and they are checked out long before you know what's happening.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 10:16 AM
9

I mean statistically most relationships fail. Add on top of that the amount of people who stay in shitty relationships just to not be alone and the odds are way against you. As long as you are mentally prepared that it probably will end at some point and financially protect yourself you do you. Realistically if you're looking for a much younger woman that you think will stick around once you hit the 65-70 range you better be loaded. And also check your apple sauce for antifreeze.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/23 08:52 AM
7

Nope not a failure. Just the newest member of the club. Current members including: Brad pit Prince Charles Jeff Bezos Bill Gates Donald Trump (Love him or hate him) Neil Armstrong Frank Sinatra Muhammad Ali Tom Brady George Foreman James Cameron The odds are against you from the jump, we all just think we're going to be the winner.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/23 02:38 PM
2

I got that on the day she told me she was leaving for another guy. She told me I was the best husband ever but she lost the butterflies. Trust me that's almost worse than being painted the villain. Like, I was perfect but fuck me, this other dude is more perfect. Honestly that was my first real red pill that some women will never be happy no matter what you do for them.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/23 02:48 AM
1

Damn that's me right down to the cigars. Patrice was on his shit. I get lonely maybe 10% of the time, It hasn't been enough to push me back into another heart break or potentially screwing up my life again.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/23 08:39 AM
1

Yeah there with you. I think being in a long term marriage isn't something you just snap out of. 2.5 years out for me, I miss having someone to talk to, joke with, go out to dinner. Normal companionship stuff. I actually don't miss her, mine was a two time cheater so all I have left for her are bitter tainted memories. But I do miss having a partner.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/23 07:18 AM
1

Very!
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/23 03:42 AM
3

Hatebreed, all Hatebreed. So many bangers about getting knocked down and getting back up.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/23 02:40 PM
2

Same in Wisconsin. File ASAP, she will do everything in her power to stall this out.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/23 10:46 AM
1

I'm an 80's kid so I grew up watching these guys. Obviously over the top but what he says is gold. I actually watch this clip whenever I get down because it's honestly great advice.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 03:08 PM
1

I like your can-do attitude 👍
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/23 10:58 AM
3

Many of us have been there, I alienated myself from my entire family in the pursuit to please my X. It took me a few years to un-fuck all those relationships. You'll be surprised how quick you get back to yourself once that succubus is out of your life.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/23 09:59 AM
2

Don't give up on life because of women. I can tell you I used to be a true love/soul mate type guy married to my high school sweet heart. When she cheated the first time reality hit me really hard. When she left me for another guy after about 20 years I was almost expecting it at some point. I don't hate women, but I work in a career where I have managed them for over 18 years. They are mostly all the same. I'm in a similar spot where I would like to have a partner but through my experience deal…
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/23 09:46 AM
2

Not to hijack a serious post, but I'm really hoping we get to Cherry 2000's before T100's.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/23 09:36 AM
1

Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/23 04:56 AM
3

Please, please, please learn from us morons that took back cheating wives. She will do it again and it will be your fault. Move to Cali and leave her ass when in the dust. I wish I could have told my 24 year old self the same message. Just to add, I know the divorced men's group can be a bit of an echo chamber (not a bad thing in my opinion because so many of us have been through the exact same shit), go check out r/survivinginfidelity and see how many of these situations turn out well for the p…
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/23 04:29 AM
3

For me it was my fault for not reading her mind.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/23 07:19 AM
2

Nothing like wind therapy. Ride safe.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 05:18 AM
4

My X wife actually found a dude who would simp for her harder than me (in retrospect, I'm now reformed). He's like 20 years older than her and missing at least two teeth. She's all his, you get what you deserve sometimes in this life. Good on you for seeing it!
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 03:34 AM
1

I guess I'm the opposite. My X left me for another guy and got upset that I didn't want any of the pictures of her. Like, yeah no thanks.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 02:15 AM
4

Think back, how many of your current shitty circumstances are because of this woman? (Or other woman for that matter). Many of us have been where you are, we based our whole lives off the wife, white picket fence bullshit we were all fed and then when we found out it was all a lie we question the point of all of it Live for yourself. Fight for yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 12:44 AM
7

Like most things in life I think some of them have some opinions I agree with, some not. If you follow everything anyone in particular says like gospel you're probably not going to do well. More people need to think for themselves. Personally the only content creator I follow is Coach Greg Adams because he's entertaining as hell.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/23 10:00 AM
9

I'm still attracted, not for relationships though. I'm almost 2 years out. My few brief attempts at dating make me think I'm not capable of falling for someone after what my X put me through.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/23 09:29 AM
6

Be careful with that, the longer you stay "married" the more spousal support you might be on the hook for.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/23 10:05 AM
–

Tell that to Dr. dre, or Kevin Costner. Prenup is just one more thing you'll pay a lawyer to fight over while they bleed you dry.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 08:23 AM
3

I did a no lawyer deal also, had my final court date been 2-3 weeks later it would have been all out the window because my X has time to "think" and didn't think the split we agreed upon was fair. I capitalized on her affair fog and filed everything as quickly as humanly possible but had to wait 6 months for the court date. I was on edge the whole time because her new boyfriend was getting in her ear. Trust me if she's already causing issues just get a lawyer now.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/23 02:41 AM
3

I got really into cigars and pipes. It's like a hobby enhancer for me. I can kick back and listen to music or watch a movie and just completely relax. It's a feeling of calm I literally never had when married. It was always what needs to be done or what project needs to be worked on. Oh and fuck your cheating X wife and mine too lol.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/23 02:18 AM
38

I've only dated a little since my divorce, it wasn't fun for me. I don't know if I have the capacity to fall for another woman. The statistics of finding a "successful" relationship are so slim over 40 it's not worth the stress or money for me. I'm open to meeting someone if it happens but I'm not looking for it anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/23 02:16 AM
2

+1 on the loud music. Hatebreed is one of my personal favorites, super motivational lyrics for people who have gone through some shit.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/23 01:31 AM
12

Yup, fucking sucks some times. Sounds like you are doing the right things. I'm two years out, as time goes on it gets better. Hang in there.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/23 04:36 AM
1

Yeah true. My X was also on the RX anti depression meds.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/23 02:52 AM
19

Nah probably not the weed, just the woman. My X bounced with a coworker also, left everything except her clothes, shoes, and makeup. Even her pet bird. When I told her to come pick him up she told me to dump him off at the humane society because I did all the clean up and care and she didn't want to do it. Don't waste your mental capacity trying to figure it out. The bird is my home boy now.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/23 02:29 AM
1

JESUS!- it's like they are all run by the Borg queen hive mind. My X said the same shit to me, she said she only got with me to get away from her parents. That was after being together for almost 25 years, 20 years married.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 01:33 PM
2

Sorry you're in this spot. In a few years once the dust has all settled you will look back and be happy she showed her true colors early on and you didn't waste half your life with her.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 07:57 AM
7

Good on you to see the signs lol. It's funny once you've been through it how quick you notice the BS.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 06:36 AM
5

Mine did that also. WTF.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 03:00 AM
2

Raises ✋
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 02:59 AM
1

Yup lol. My artist even tried to warn me not to do it. No way man, not my girl.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/23 06:55 AM
2

That's awesome.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/23 10:30 PM
6

Yeah it's a heart with a banner, I really like the heart it's a great piece of art. I was thinking about seeing if I could laser her name out and then get something I know will never break my heart like "BEER" added. I'm not sure how precise the lasers are.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/23 05:28 AM
2

Classic.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/23 05:25 AM
2

Depending on your area there are some decent pre-manufactured homes out there. I've seen them for 20-30K plus a couple hundred a month for the park it's in. That was my plan B.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/23 08:56 AM
23

I'm with you, we're probably both not ready to date. I'm in my 40's now, my few attempts at dating I see red flags that remind me of my X and bail. I also think about how all of the worst times/worst I've ever felt since I was about 13 years old was the direct result of a woman. Plus I was married right out of highschool for just over 20 years, the last time I dated I literally popped the collar on my lettermen jacket and let that bad boy do the work. In my opinion dating now sucks, I wasn't hav…
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/23 08:50 AM
4

Yikes, danger Will Robinson. Hope you end that.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/23 02:53 AM
1

My man is like a prophet here lol.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 10:13 AM
3

Yeah no doubt. The last time I was dating I was 16 and captain of the football team. None of my old moves seem to work these days lol. I'm like Al Bundy out here. Sense of humor fully intact at least.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 01:32 PM
3

The peace, quiet, and freedom is intoxicating isn't it? I think a FWB is what I could really use.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 12:03 PM
2

That's great advice, I might actually give that a try.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 12:00 PM
8

Good point, I actually have been the one to bail as soon as I start to see traits of my X wife or other red flags I have picked up on. But yes, I definitely live for myself now. I actually think it's funny, one lady I was seeing for a few weeks when I broke it off with her over crazy X wife vibes she mentioned we have different "responsibility" levels. I was thinking, I choose not to have kids, have my own house, cars, bikes, same job for 20+ years. She's the single mom with three kids by a supp…
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 07:08 AM
8

Sounds like you have run the gambit. I briefly dated a lady with 3 kids, she was the whole boss babe chick. Only after a few weeks of her constantly bashing her X, and also claiming he abandoned their kids I couldn't see past all the red flags. Sex was pretty great and I still bailed like an old lady on the Titanic. Men in our group get hit with the "bitter and hurt" tag but when we actually start sharing stories we are all seeing the same shit. Thanks to all the men in these spaces for sharing,…
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 07:00 AM
9

I like your style. I should learn to play golf, looks like fun. I'm a motorcycle guy myself.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 05:04 AM
3

That's a tough one, I never wanted kids. I have found that I also now have almost a super power level of sniffing out the crazy, I haven't met anyone close to ass good as you described. I wish you luck either way brother.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 04:53 AM
11

Yeah I'm leaning to getting off the court lol.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 04:15 AM
7

I've been doing pretty well on my own but I get the same feelings sometime when I'm out on my own. I was married just over 20 years, my X ditched me for her supervisor and they got married about 9 months after our divorce was final so that might still be burning me a bit.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/23 09:19 AM
10

Congrats my man! Have you tried solo travel yet? that's pretty awesome too. No complaints, no spending tons of money on stupid shit, just whatever relaxation looks like for you.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/23 09:15 AM
3

Great one, one of my favorites lol.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/23 05:47 AM
1

Lol, good point. The new bike was also number two. I'll watch the hooker and blow budget.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/23 11:22 PM
2

Right!
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/23 11:20 PM
2

Right on brother! I had a 19 corvette grand sport I had to sell, I hope to get another Corvette one day.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/23 02:56 PM
1

Man, awesome insights. I appreciate it. Talking to other divorced men who have gone through the same shirt has been cathartic, better than therapy. But what makes my day is hearing about dudes like you out here winning. I hope the group keeps growing.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/23 02:10 PM
2

Shit, sounds like we have the same X Wife. We are both 41, her "old man balls" is 58. They got married about 8 months after our divorce was finalized. I took a pretty big hit also on the old nest egg, but I've actually been amazed how much I save by myself even losing her income.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/23 01:20 PM
2

Great point. I hope I get to the point where I can enjoy dating like that. I'm still stuck on seeing red flags everywhere. Hope you get that recliner!
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/23 01:13 PM
1

It's funny, I read a lot about minimalism and was watching a lot of Aaron Clarey on YouTube. I can really be incredibly cheap until I put the money I save into something I think I will get a lot of enjoyment out of.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/23 01:09 PM
1

I hear you, I think dropping that provider yoke is hitting me also.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/23 01:01 PM
6

When I first saw the marriage wheel it was one of the first things that pulled me out of my divorce depression. That dude is like a modern day prophet he's so dead on with that shit.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/23 09:03 AM
2

Enjoy the peace, quiet, and freedom!
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/23 01:11 AM
1

I work with someone that got divorced "on paper" because an ex baby mama was trying to take him to the cleaners and his new wife made substantially more money. They setup addresses with family members but continued to live together normally.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/23 01:10 AM
32

I hang around this sub Reddit hoping I can reach one person. I like many others have been where you are, wife absolutely shattered my heart when she cheated. If she comes crawling back (and you take her back), she will just lose respect, cheat again, and blame you. Do yourself a favor, talk to people that have been where you are, do some research, look at divorce statistics. See how many people took back cheating wives and ended up cheated on again. Compare that to "sucsess" stories if you can f…
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/23 10:03 AM
5

These laws are unbelievable. Just curious, is this well known in Canada?
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 08:42 AM
11

Learn from a lot of our mistakes, get out now. Cheaters don't change. My ex cheated, I found out and she pleaded to make it work. I wasted years dealing with all the aftermath to finally get to a decent place. Then surprise, she found another soul mate becasue I changed after she cheated. Don't join the ranks of us that made the mistake of trying to fix a cheater. Sorry you're going through this.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 07:46 AM
1

Yeah, actually she told me I was the best husband ever, but she found her soul mate in her supervisor at work. Kind of soured me on the whole institution of marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/22 03:03 PM
7

Yeah, after 20 year marriage 25 years together my X wife told me she never really loved me and just got with me to get out of her parents house. Or and also she hated sex with me. You really question yourself after a mind fuck like that. Besides probably never trusting another romantic partner I now question myself when dating.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/22 03:04 AM
1

Cyberpunk lol. Demolition Man called it in 1993.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/22 11:11 AM
5

Coach gang in the house!
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/22 03:14 AM
8

My X wife had the guy she left for fill out here part of the divorce paperwork. I hear you.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/22 12:11 AM
5

Yes, if you're going to DIY you can save a fortune but if she changes her mind mid process you'll be starting over, possibly in a worse spot. I did everything myself while my X wife was in the midst of her affair fog. I was sweating up until the final signature went on the forms from the clerk. My state has a 4 month waiting window, twice during that time I thought she was going to start fighting. It took about two months after it was finalized before she started saying she didn't get what she d…
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/22 09:56 AM
7

My ex wife ( married for 20 years) told me out of the blue that she lost feelings and was in love with her boss. Moved out the day she told me. She said it was super hard for her because I was the best husband ever and her best friend but she found her "soul mate". I was amicable through the divorce while she was in her affair fog. As soon as the paperwork was all done and final I went no contact. Now about a year and a half later I get messages from her saying I treated her like shit for 20 yea…
/r/MensRights01/06/22 07:21 AM
21

Yup. Hang in there. My X did the same thing except she found her soulmate in her boss. Timing for dropping the bomb was right after a great vacation for 20 year anniversary. She's making his life miserable now. Good luck to them. I thought we had a "good marriage". Once she was gone and after the shock the rose colored glasses come off and you realize they treated you pretty shitty. Im guessing you'll be the same way. I made the mistake of making my whole life about my X also. Lots of us have be…
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/22 09:31 AM
3

Im right there with you, met my X wife when we were 15-16 but we were married 20 years before she left. Last time I dated I let my Letterman jacket do the work for me. I haven't even gone further them some online chatting and just felt weird and out of my element. I also have been fairly happy being single. I miss sex but honestly my X never put any effort in to it. Im very stuck right now on if I really even want relationship or it's just what I have programmed to want. I think about it constan…
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/22 05:23 AM
3

Damn you guys are all fancy. I wore cargo pants and my finest motorcycle hoodie lol. Congrats brother, almost out.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/22 03:54 AM
1

Nice. Thanks for the advice.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/22 10:17 PM
2

Im about 1 year post divorce and starting to think the same thing. Haven't tried it yet but next vacation may be to Nevada.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/22 04:20 AM
3

Don't forget the stats. Its not just the hurt bitter men of reddit in an echo chamber here. 50+% chance you will end up divorced. Don't get married legally. Check your state's common law laws. If you have no common law marriage go release a dove in the park and profess your neverending love on a sunset.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/22 07:07 AM
3

No one plans on being in the 50% of divorced couples when they get married. Fact About 50% are the same odds you would have if you took all your things and at least 50% of your time with your kids and were able to drop it all on black on a roulette wheel at a casino. Fact. Would any of these family members and friends who push people into marriage say that trip to the casino was a good idea? Bet not. Yeah all us men on the back side of divorce are bitter and broken people. Probably. Does that ch…
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/22 11:08 AM
20

Got snipped when I was 18, 20 years later cheating wife dragged me through divorce court and to this day I thank my lucky stars I never had kids with her.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/22 03:18 PM
1

And it's hella expensive and wont be covered by insurance. 15k mimimum.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/22 02:20 AM
1

Could be right. I didn't think I ever wanted kids when I was a freshman in high school. Knew for sure when I was 17.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/22 01:24 AM
2

Or if you have trauma the tubes can break and fuse back together. Like getting kicked by a horse in your boys. Not sure how often this happens.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/22 01:21 AM
1

Lol. Couldn't have said it better or more profanity laced myself. Good on you.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/22 01:18 AM
1

I 100% knew I didn't want kids. Got snipped at 18. Didn't have any issues at all, first Dr. I went to explained everything but didn't try and talk me out of it. I'm 40 now and let me tell you, best decision of my life. I was married at the time and my Wife and I decided against kids. My wife ended up cheating several times before we got divorced. At one point she tried talking me into having it reversed because she said she was having second thoughts. In hindsight and now knowing about the affai…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/22 01:13 AM
3

I've noticed I key in on lots of men being treated like shit by women now on all types of "reality" shows. I think im hyper sensitive to it now. Its liking watching these poor bastards walking into a hornets nest. Honestly this is one of the things that makes me question ever getting in a relationship again. Hell, Married with Children even bothers me now.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/22 04:37 AM
2

Go look at r/divorce men. Obviously this is not every woman but it happens often enough that a common theme over there is "your telling my story".
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/22 07:51 AM
11

I'm 41, my x and I met when we were 16 in high school as well. I got the same story about 8 months ago as well. It's what they do. Its sad how many times you will hear this same story now that your in the "club". Lots of us have been there, you'll get through this.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/22 10:40 PM
3

Take it from us old guys who have been through it. Wherever you are now it will only get worse. The longer you put up with it you will train yourself to tolerate it and end up another crushed man looking forward to the sweet embrace if the grave.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/21 01:55 AM
4

Yup, me too. The wanting to stay friends part blew my mind. After 20 years for me. It's just a safety plan trying to leave a route open in case the new guy doesn't work out. Don't fall far it.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/21 02:47 AM
3

Agree. Sucks too be that guy.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/21 03:27 AM
15

My x (recently divorced) left me for another man after 21 year marriage because she lost the butterflies but wants to stay friends. She just asked me if I wanted to get together for the holidays (no kids). Don't try to figure out these types of women. They are so shelf involved I don't even think they realize when they ruin our lives.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/21 09:21 AM
1

Enjoy the positives of this shitty situation my man. This community is a life saver. And the JB double oak twice barrel is another pal as well!
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/21 03:59 AM
4

My freedom moment ( like Andy Dufrane crawling out the sewer pipe from Shawshank) involved a fire pit on my patio, a nice cigar, and my buddy Jack Daniels. My ex before she left and moved in wkth her boss would get mad if I opened the door after dark because I might let bugs in.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/21 03:03 AM
3

Stay single, buy a motorcycle. Enjoy life, ride hard and your chances of dying old and alone drop significantly lol. I joke but not really, before my wife left she was pushing hard for me to get rid of my Harley. Glad I kept it.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/21 11:06 AM
2

I was married 20 years and we met in high school so your pictures Covered my whole adult life. I tossed all the pics that were on the wall when I updated the house to make it may own. Saved the rest in a box. Probably will never open it again. Digital pics are still on the computer.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/21 07:04 AM
6

Right there with you. Anytime I consider dating I look at the local POF profiles and scare myself straight.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/21 11:13 PM
16

Sounds like you know what you need to do. Bite the bullet, get out now. Good luck brother. No more marriages.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/21 10:27 AM
15

Poor bastard is what came to my mind reading this also.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen25/10/21 04:49 AM
1

House, spousal support, child support if you have kids. Sounds like you have talked out a lot of details so hopefully things stay civil. When I divorced we did it without lawyers or mediators because we decided we would rather each leave with cash rather then give it all to a lawyer. My boss was going through a divorce at the same time, they had agreed to terms on splitting items but as the final court date got closer she would keep bringing up small items like a guitar or some of the small appl…
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/21 08:57 PM
1

Best bet in my opinion would be to try and talk it out and make a fair agreement with your stbx if possible. You don't want to end up paying hundreds or thousands of dollars in lawyer's fees fighting over small ticket items. Unfortunately you will probably need those funds to fight over the big things.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/21 02:29 PM
6

Im right here with you, separated 6 months divorce just finalized but no kids so absolute freedom. I keep going back and forth in my head if I should be looking for another partner but almost feel like the only reason I have these thoughts is because that is what is programmed in us all to do. And it haven't even dipped my toe in the dating pool yet.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/21 12:34 AM
3

Man. Reading your story I can tell you this. Sit back, relax, and wait for it. She is doing it to herself right now. Once the high of what she is doing wears off her OF will be floating out on the internet for life. Im sure that will bode will with future relationships. You will learn how to enjoy life. I did.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/21 10:28 PM
4

Hate to be the guy to say it but there may be way more debt that you don't even know about.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/21 05:42 AM
4

What's done is done. Im guessing you feel that knowing what happened will give you some closure but let me tell you it won't. Start thinking about what will make you happy going forward and focus on that. I know its hard, hang in there brother.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/21 05:20 AM
28

Sounds like you know my x. That pretty much describes her.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen26/09/21 10:58 PM
7

Until pure love turns into boredom that is.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen26/09/21 10:09 PM
5

I'd say it depends on what you consider "getting over it" my wife (married 20 years) told me out of the blue that I was the greatest husband ever but she didn't feel the spark anymore, Moved out that day into her new guy's house. Took me a few weeks to decide I wasn't going to let it wreck my life. Easily can say I probably will never trust a partner again the rest of my life.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/21 06:45 AM
6

Coming out of a 26 year relationship (20y marriage) all I can tell you is as you get older and your hormones give up control you realize that perfect loving relationship is a pipe dream. Or its all good until she gets bored. Its like when you really crave pizza, eat the whole damn thing then get the wicked shits.
/r/MGTOW228/07/21 01:32 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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