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johnlrobbie Archive

View 2 posts and 56 comments by johnlrobbie on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
128

Rantjohnlrobbie/r/Divorce_Men07/08/25 10:47 AM
46

johnlrobbie/r/Divorce_Men29/08/25 01:17 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
8

While my ex-wife did not cheat, she planned leaving for years before it happened. The entire time I was busting my arse for my family and to keep things moving, keep things safe and secure as best I could. It was completely futile, she had left years ago. Documenting me, gaslighting me, recording me, to one day take my child from me. Two years and $140k in family court later I have my son back. I don’t think I’ll ever get past the betrayal, the acting and lies. I know I can’t hold that against a…
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/25 03:43 AM
9

My ex-wife blasted this song on repeat that sang the lyrics “now I’m ready” over and over for like 2 months and then left me. Played it while cooking, in the shower, everywhere. Actually one of the few things I laugh about looking back.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/25 11:10 PM
17

If men secretly put money away and not disclose it it’s considered a form of domestic violence punishable by jail. If women doing it it’s considered an “escape plan.” I’m not sure your comment applies in this instance, where it could in other posts.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/25 11:46 PM
18

Establishing that he is the abusive one in order to justify how pure evil and horrible she is about to be. If he is not abusive then that means everything she is doing is of her own volition. “It’s his fault I’m doing all this.” Meanwhile, “he” is probably busting his arse for the next 4 years doing everything he can to support the family. No girl, they are your thoughts and feelings you are pure evil. They just will never come to terms.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/25 11:33 PM
16

Wasn’t my choice and I would never go back. You will have moments every week where you’ll want to go back and you have to remind yourself the person you left is not the person you married. And once you meet someone again you’ll wish you had done it sooner.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/25 05:01 AM
1

I don’t live here anymore - The war on drugs Grounds for divorce - Elbow No one’s easy to love - Sharon von Etten A million more
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/25 11:31 PM
3

Hi mate, supervised visits are the number one thing you should be doing to regain access to your kids, even though there is no reason you should agree to it. She’s got the playbook and she’s playing it chapter by chapter (she’s seeked DV help). She cannot completely take your kids from you so she’s offering you the bare minimum amount of time to comply with courts, otherwise it will look bad on her. Basically her case is, she has concerns but she still wants her kids to know who their father is.…
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/25 12:22 PM
5

Similar situation as you. 10 years together, final argument was over not much really. Asked for closure or a final conversation or something and got back 6 months of not seeing my son. Only communication the past 2 years through lawyers. We want answers where there are none. We search for answers that don’t exist. They cannot face their decisions they made. In movies, why do evil people want to destroy the world? No reason, they are evil because they are. They don’t need a reason. Our friends st…
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/25 11:48 AM
3

Wrote a letter and gave it back in the envelope. In hindsight I really wish I’d destroyed it in the ocean or mt doom or something
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/25 01:08 AM
-1

Can’t file for divorce until you have been 12 months separated so I know what you’re up to first thing tomorrow morning. 12 months will fly.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 12:50 PM
2

Have one for me mate!
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 10:35 AM
3

Realistically, even though court is expensive, he’d have to apply for the application which you would only pay if he wins on every argument, and if you’re paying him more than you need to be that would be disarming. You might actually end up paying less in the long run if you can get a judge to make a final decision. Keep a record of your voluntary payments. You should really only be paying him more if he cares for your kids more than you do, otherwise it comes down to income but it shouldn’t be…
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 10:33 AM
2

Yeah TL;DR - she’s already getting legal advice, you want 50/50, she wants child support every month, she’s been told she needs to build a case against you. She will bait you. Do not take the bait, that’s your best defence.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 08:33 AM
2

Or at the very least if you can’t leave, document everything yourself. Every conversion and interaction together. You keeping a log is your best defense against the dark arts.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 08:05 AM
1

No lawyer in the history of the universe would say I can’t take your money for two months. Even my family law firm told me they were over-capacity, recommended some other firms but ultimately took me on two days later anyway. Based on my experience, if she is seeking guidance from a DV support centre, or if she is already receiving legal guidance, she is prolonging the actual separating part so she can document your behaviour with examples that she can use against you in court. Especially if you…
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 08:04 AM
2

Sounds like you need to do some soul searching and figure out what you want in a person exactly. I’m assuming the affair person is to fill a huge gaping hole in your life, but not forever material. You need somebody who can be everything. Tough if your wife wants to work on things even through all that. I’d be sticking with them and working on it if they’re willing to still stick with you. You might already have what you’re looking for.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/25 09:23 PM
6

I hear ya brother. There is nothing, and I mean NOTHING, harder than sacrificing 20 years of your life to “be a good husband” to have it thrown in your face. You’ve made such an enormous sacrifice. As painful as it is, in your case I actually think you’d benefit more immediately from separation because of how alone you are in your situation. At some point you’re going to have to think, “fuck her. I’m worth more than this.” You’ll have your boys with you, and you’ll be happy again one day. Won’t …
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/25 10:59 AM
5

In this particular subreddit 9.9/10 people will tell you to initiate divorce. In another sub they might tell you something different. In any case, I’m sorry dude, that’s no way to go.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/25 08:19 AM
3

I never said a bad word about my ex wife to my mates even though there were huge problems. It came as a shock to them until I filled them in on what had been happening over the years. I wouldn’t be where I am now 2 years on without their undying love and support. This subreddit has really helped me. It’s been like journaling in a diary, except that diary talks back to you, hears you, empathises with you, brings real life examples of why I feel the injustice I feel, picks you up again, and remind…
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/25 08:14 AM
5

Let me save you $4k and a day in court - you lack insight.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/25 04:43 AM
4

Happened to me exactly as you said. Separated, agreed 50/50, was the way for 6 months until one day out of nowhere she told me she was taking me son and if I wanted to see him I’d have to agree to terms. Got an intervention order. Didn’t see him for 6 months and the courts basically just defaulted to, she’s the primary carer. It just became fact. I asked my lawyers if I had done to her what she had done to me and they said I would be in a far worser position than I am now. $114k and 18 months la…
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/25 04:26 AM
2

Man that’s tough. Why is she so indecisive? I’d be doing couples therapy because she’s clearly not communicating how she feels with you if you don’t even suspect she wants to leave when she says she does. That’s a tough one
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/25 12:24 PM
5

Met my wife when we were 23. Together 7 years. Married 3 years. Had a boy at 31. Been separated 2 years now. Did not own a home together thank Christ.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/25 02:54 AM
11

It is weird seeing them in the court room, hey. Like, “oh hey there’s the person actively trying to destroy my life in the flesh. Usually she’s just a figment of my imagination. We used to be married.” Absolute bizarro universe
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/25 04:43 AM
6

Congrats dude! Glad to hear you avoided court.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/25 04:39 AM
22

Separated two years ago. I miss the woman I married often. No part of me misses the woman I divorced. Hard one to explain if you’re not a member of this sub.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/25 04:07 AM
8

You need to be the one to file brother. You can be the one who tried to save the relationship and also be the one who drew a line in the sand and left - both things can be true. One of my biggest regrets two years later is not filing when I should have. My ex has made it look like her filing was due to a number of serious problems on my end and the courts ear up every word. You can be amicable in 10 years. You did what you could. File.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/25 04:05 AM
6

Sorry to hear my guy. That sounds like an awful iceberg you’re headed towards. Based off what you’re saying and what could help now, you’d benefit from practicing mindfulness. While you have pretty good reason to believe things with your wife maybe over, you can’t sleep because you’re lying in bed at night spiralling. You might be creating scenarios in your head that don’t actually exist and are causing you harm. You need to bring yourself back to the present day and focus on what is fact and wh…
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/25 12:03 PM
1

I’m in a very similar boat and my ex and I are going all the way to trial because we have not been able to resolve our matter. Great to hear you’re going to fight for your kids. Here’s my experience: First of all everything you do and every argument you make to court needs to be child focused. Mental health disorders seem to not really matter too much to courts. “She’s mentally ill” “he’s abusive.” They hear it all day everyday. I’m assuming her personality disorders are undiagnosed. Bring it up…
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/25 09:46 AM
8

Sounds like you guys have had a completely breakdown in communication. Women will often work on leaving the marriage for years before they actually do, basically as you indicate. If she’s unwilling to go to couples therapy there’s not much more you can do. You’re willing to work on it and she isn’t. Best thing anyone has written here: Men sacrifice their happiness for their family. Women sacrifice their families for their happiness.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/25 09:00 AM
5

If you’re not abusive then that means everything she has done to you is completely unjustified and would indicate she is a horrible person, and for women that realisation is too much to comprehend. Only way they can sleep at night, it’s your fault she cheated.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/25 08:54 AM
7

She’s lining you up. When it comes to the courts, the only, and I really want to emphasise, THE ONLY, thing the court cares about is how you behave in front of your children. If they get even a hint of animosity on either parties behalf, they will always side with the one keeping the piece in front of the kids. There’s a ton of research that indicates parents arguing in front of children has life long damaging effects. Whenever the kids are around you need to be as kind and considerate as possib…
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/25 08:49 AM
8

My sister says this happened to me because during the tumultuous years of the divorce you’re constantly in fight or flight even if it doesn’t feel like it all the time. Now that it’s over you are subconsciously recognising for the first time in years you are truly safe. And you breakdown and cry because you’re unable to do that in fight or flight even though your body wants to all the time. You’re catching up on years of survival mode.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/25 01:05 AM
2

Man, this is one of the worst ones I’ve read on this sub. So sorry to hear that. Sounds like you gave everything and she played you from the start. The kind of thing that creates distrust in a partner ever again. Fortunately you don’t have kids, that should make severance with her swift. You’ll need to consider if the amount you’re about to spend on legal fees outweighs the amount she feels she is entitled too. Given you don’t have kids you should be in a better position to argue keeping your mo…
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/25 10:50 PM
9

It’s good that you’re writing about it and posting this too. That can be a lot to put on one person. Make sure you have the support you need too!
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/25 12:13 PM
2

Could not agree more. Completely silenced.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/25 08:29 AM
6

My sister says this happened to me because during the tumultuous years of the divorce you’re constantly in fight or flight even if it doesn’t feel like it all the time. Now that it’s over you are subconsciously recognising for the first time in years you are truly safe. And you breakdown and cry because you’re unable to do that in fight or flight even though your body wants to all the time.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/25 12:50 PM
6

Couple of thoughts. Like anything in life, the shine will wear off eventually. You have something that guy doesn’t have and will never have no matter how hard he and her try to make it happen. You’re their dad. Your kids think about you and when their friends say, “tell me about your dad.” They talk about you. No one is perfect. The shine will wear off and every relationship has issues, even if on Instagram it appears everything is magical all the time. You are the constant in their life that wi…
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/25 12:42 PM
1

Thanks for putting yourself out there and commenting. I think you’re more or less confirming what I’m saying. Your second paragraph fantasises the “ideal man” and your first paragraph basically confirms you’re aware of the life long commitment you entire into and it’s not enough. You say, “do such men ever exist?” While fully acknowledging you probably had the ideal man, until they are no longer the ideal man. Which is why I say, rather than ask “do these men exist?” I think the better and more …
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/25 12:14 PM
6

That was a really worthwhile read, thanks. I felt like you were reading out of my memoir, only far better descriptively. Especially when you say even after 20 years she couldn’t honestly describe the real you. 4 month mark was the hardest part for me. Just passed the fresh, “thank god that’s over.” Reeling into the, “maybe I do kind of miss it a little.” Stay strong mate, you’ve got a decent group of people here with you, but it sounds like you have a really good understanding of what has happen…
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/25 12:08 PM
2

Yeah I did lightly touch on that without fully opening Pandora’s box.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/25 11:46 AM
4

Yeah thanks and it’s not designed to be an inflammatory, misogynistic rant (even though it is). I think I’ve been thinking about it so much lately because I’m dating again and how am I really ever going to know in the next person. This is the next work I need to do on myself. Like I said, 7 years with my partner before marriage. It’s, “are you sure this is what you want? I want to be with you for the rest of my life, are you completely sure? Okay great let’s get married.” How will I ever trust a…
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/25 11:25 AM
6

Thank you 🙏🏻 I hope so. I can’t do another 10 years of whatever the hell that was.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/25 10:58 AM
3

Best case scenario is you genuinely want what’s best for your kids, however I thought that’s what I was doing and $114k later it really, really came back to bite me the day 6 months later she pulled the rug. Things I wish I had done. stop talking to her immediately (might not be feasible in your instance). The woman you are divorcing is not the woman you married. At least stop any digital or written communication. journal everything, every conversation, every activity together. Photos, videos an…
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/25 03:29 AM
4

You will be happy again one day my guy, but it won’t be for a very long time. Ask your therapist about a grieving technique called Dream Analogy. That one really helped me and it sounds like you need new dreams.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/25 02:13 AM
3

What you do in this instance is have your lawyers pay for a transcript. It is expensive and they will ask which sections are you after so make note of the time allocations. I had to do this when I was changing over lawyers and they wanted some background on a recent court appearance, exactly what was said. It’s expensive but it’s not illegal. Delete the recordings.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/25 05:27 AM
2

He’s not passed what happened to him and it’ll only drag you down with him. Even if we never truly get over it, it sounds like he isn’t willing to go through the hardship together with you.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/25 04:49 AM
2

I’d go 2 and then 1. I ran my business with my wife at the time really successfully for 5 years doing websites and content. When the marriage broke down I wound down the business to effectively skeleton. I went and got a full time job for consistency and stability for the time now. Nothing will replace how awesome running my own business is. I got to watch my son grow up. Worked half the amount I do now and earned about the same. But for all the instability of clients leaving at any moment, and …
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/25 12:47 AM
18

That person posting the topic is looking for confirmation bias and getting it, hence why they posted there. We do same. That’s a space where independent women do their thing and I’m not sure most women would put themselves in that bucket. It’d be like going to a church and coming back and being like, “what did I tell you guys, they’re a bunch of Christians, I told you so.” “If I knew what I know now, I would've avoided relationships with men at all costs.” People who are genuinely looking for co…
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/25 01:02 PM
11

I miss the woman I married. No part of me misses the woman I divorced. My guy, I’m sorry this is happening to you but that woman you are separating from looks like your wife, your version of your wife left a long time ago. Time to start dreaming new. I’ve been separated two years and still not fully there yet. But I will be one day. Only way is forward.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/25 02:00 AM
5

Hardly ever read posts this long. This one was worth it! Happy to hear dude
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/25 04:28 AM
2

I gave mine back which was a mistake. I would have really liked to destroy it in hindsight.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/25 01:15 PM
8

Sorry to hear you’re struggling. It’s so tough when you’ve given everything to your family and it’s a complete injustice the way it’s going to end. But by the sounds of what you’re saying, she has the playbook, and she’s playing it line by line. I know you want, if nothing else that it end amicably after all you’ve been through together, but amicable ain’t gonna get her the big fat monthly pay cheque she feels is she is entitled to. Which is awful because the laws are designed for women and chil…
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/25 12:18 PM
7

I feel like I’m reading the end of my marriage to a tee. She has the playbook and she is playing it out step by step. If I could do it over now knowing what I know and someone could have given me this advice. DOCUMENT EVERYTHING. Every day. Every conversation, write it down. Try not to record anything but photograph everything you can you think you might need. Get a lawyer. Pretty soon she is going to get some sort of court order / intervention order on you. Make sure if you have any kids they a…
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/25 10:58 AM
2

This. Also, most men in our position want things to work amicably, and in doing so we blind ourselves to what they really want - a big fat pay cheque each month for the next 1 - 18 years. In my experience, she wants that pay cheque and has come to the realisation that as long as custody is 50/50 and you’re carrying the majority of responsibilities, she’s going to have a really tough time arguing why she should be entitled to so much child support and so she needs to shift the power dynamic. If s…
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/25 10:33 AM
9

No. 2 so hard, thank you for the reminder. I remember often saying, “can I just finish my coffee before we get into it”
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 03:58 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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