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junkmailbox121 Archive

View 0 posts and 179 comments by junkmailbox121 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

No negatives into turning it into an amicable no-fault divorce. It’ll be faster and cheaper if no lawyers get involved. It kind of sounds like the two of you have agreed to the standard possession schedule of every other weekend. Keep in mind if you’re not the primary custodial parent, you would get back to back weekends when there are 5 weekends in a month as the following week would be the first of the next month. On paper you can agree to the standard possession schedule and make changes as y…
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/26 03:46 PM
2

Just to add, the max would be 2340 for one child. It’s 20% of the max net income of 11,700. Your child support will be 20% of your net pay. Also there is no default 50/50 custody in TX and has to be agreed upon by both parties. If you do get 50/50 custody, whichever parent is designated as the primary caretaker will get child support. If you somehow became the primary custodial parent, your ex would pay you child support. Best part about TX is there is no alimony for marriages under 10 years.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/26 01:24 AM
8

If it was bought while married, she’s entitled to half of the equity. If you sell during divorce the equity will be held by the court so neither side can take off with the money. Since the loan is under your name only it might be difficult for you to get her to pay her share if she leaves. Are the kids going to be with you most of the time in the home? If they are I’d go for child support and hopefully will be enough to help pay for the house. Once divorce is filed request a temporary orders hea…
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/26 09:58 PM
5

Unless your divorce is completed, half that debt is yours. Having your name on the loan makes you more liable for the debt. You could try to make an agreement but she doesn’t have to agree. Maybe you can ask for more of the assets to cover the half of the car loan.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 06:52 PM
1

Don’t leave the house. Start talking to attorneys and do what they recommend. You don’t want to just walk away from the kids either. Be careful of false domestic violence accusations. Get some cameras setup. Start gathering your financials(debts and assets). All of that will be needed during discovery. If you deposit money in a shared account, might want to redirect most of it out to an account under your name only. Prepare yourself mentally for some rough times ahead and don’t let her get to yo…
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/26 06:28 PM
1

Might have some difficulty in finding a doctor that’ll do the vasectomy since you’re young but someone will do it. I say do it but freeze some for backup in case you change your mind.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 02:22 AM
3

For me, we were so in debt due to her uncontrollable spending that the total of our debts was the same as the total equity in the home. In the end I got to keep the home and didn’t have to buy out the ex because most of the debts were under my name.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 01:07 AM
8

Just to give you an outside perspective on how unfair it sounds, that 30k you give your ex every year is not taxed. That would mean her annual income is probably closer to 160k-170k a year if you include child support. She should be capable of raising two kids on her salary alone unless she’s in a high cost of living area. I raise two kids with zero child support on 130k a year. If you were able to get a modification in your favor, would that extra income allow you to get a place closer to your …
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 02:58 AM
3

I believe 50/50 doesn’t make a difference in TX. One parent is the primary parent and child support goes to whoever that is. You can bringing it up if your ex tries to increase child support but I don’t think your support amount will increase. Unless your take home pay was above the previous max of 9,200 you shouldn’t be affected. Child support is a percentage of your take home pay but anything over 11,700 may not be counted in calculating child support.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/25 04:57 AM
2

Not an attorney but I think if she leaves the country it will probably benefit you. The i864 you signed states that the government can recover support provided to an ex spouse if the ex collects support from the government. If she leaves then she can’t collect support from the government. Debts should be split in half so you could be on the hook for half. As long the debts are in her name only then your credit wouldn’t be affected be her debt. She could say it’s marital debt and get half from yo…
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/25 01:15 AM
10

Sorry to hear your situation. File for divorce ASAP to set jurisdiction. File a motion to make her bring the kids back. If you wait she can set jurisdiction to wherever she’s at and you’ll have to travel to wherever she’s at.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 01:12 AM
4

Ex took off with it. I would’ve sold it and use the money on a nice dinner for me and the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/25 09:49 PM
3

I got custody in TX without receiving child support. I’d get an attorney to draft up the final decree if the two of you are in agreement of things.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/25 01:22 AM
4

Bankruptcy will put the divorce on hold. Don’t file yet if you think ultimately bankruptcy is the way to solve your financial issues. Hold out as long as you can. Reason being is the debt you have now should be half hers. If you file chapter 7 and debts get wiped then you’re just helping her out at your expense. If you file chapter 13, you’ll have to repay some or all the debt and not sure if she’ll be on the hook for half. Any money you get after the divorce may even go to the creditors in a ch…
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/25 04:12 AM
3

Don’t sign the quitclaim until you get half of the equity of your home. Once you sign the quitclaim over to your ex that takes you off the deed and no longer have an interest in the home. Did you come to an agreement on how the equity of the home will be split? Should be 50/50. The down payment and money you paid during the marriage doesn’t entitle you to more of the equity unfortunately.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/25 03:53 AM
1

Was this the temporary orders that was agreed upon or was there a hearing for the temporary orders? Did the judge sign the agreement? If not I’m not sure it is valid. Also if this is your temporary order agreement, it is not the MSA. The MSA is drafted from things agreed upon during mediation and is hard to change once signed. Unfortunately if this is the temporary orders, you’re stuck paying until you sort things out in mediation. If you haven’t scheduled mediation, get it scheduled and get dis…
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/25 07:58 PM
1

A MSA is a binding agreement between both parties. During my mediation it was mentioned to me that whatever is put into the MSA is pretty much what the final decree will bee based upon and will be difficult to change. Something isn’t adding up here. Like another person here mentioned there may be something being left out. This MSA is nowhere near financially equal. You need to find a competent attorney to undo this or see if you can go to trial. Even if you had to go to trial instead of paying 1…
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/25 06:39 AM
2

You won’t get the short end of the stick if you set your expectations and don’t give more than you need to. Don’t leave the house and the only way you’ll get kicked out is if she claims domestic violence and gets a restraining order against you. So be careful and keep your emotions in check. Financially, you should expect to pay child support unless you get primary custody and she would have to pay you. Since she works she probably won’t get alimony so do not offer to pay alimony. If you were ma…
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/25 06:08 PM
1

My guess is if you go 60/40 or the standard possession custody schedule, she could ask for support which is 25% of your take home with a cap at 2,300. She would probably have to get the decree modified for her to get child support. In the end it’s really what the two of you agree upon and the judge signs off on.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/25 01:47 AM
1

Attorney is not mandatory for mediation. It is a good idea to know what you should be expecting in mediation. An attorney is the mediator and supposed to be impartial to both parties. You might want to get a consult with an attorney to prepare you. Splitting resources is only easy if the both of you are on the same page. She may think she’s entitled to child support, alimony, etc but in reality she may not be entitled to it and cause issues during mediation.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/25 11:23 PM
3

File a motion to compel with sanctions. That way you can recoup legal fees for having to file the motion if she doesn’t respond.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/25 07:49 PM
9

If you have no kids or other reasons to communicate, then there is no problem blocking her number. I say do it! Even if you're in the divorce process, then there is no need to talk to her and all communication can be done through attorneys.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/25 05:21 PM
2

It's not impossible to get primary custody of the kids in TX. I think what helped me get primary custody of my two kids was that the ex realized financially she wouldn't be able to raise two kids since she was mostly a SAHM. She started to work towards the end of the marriage but wasn't making much. It wasn't even enough to be on her own for herself. There was going to be no alimony since the marriage was under 10 years and the child support that the ex would have received would not have been en…
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/25 04:28 PM
1

You should’ve gotten her served if she didn’t sign the waiver. Then if she doesn’t respond you would ask for a default judgement. Do you have an attorney?
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/25 02:36 AM
2

Spousal support only applies to marriages longer than 10 years or if she has some condition that prevents her from working. Even then it’ll be temporary and if you have income to support it. She may request it to see if you’ll pay, but don’t especially for a 4 year marriage. As for assets, I’d say all liquid assets would be due once the final decree is signed by the judge. I guess if the both of you agree to split assets over time, you could do that but you need to iron that out during mediation…
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/25 01:23 AM
2

If you’re taking care of the kids while she’s traveling then I don’t think the court will kick you out. Courts like a stable environment for the kids. They usually won’t kick either side out unless there is some immediate danger to a person. That being said be careful of a false domestic violence accusation. Someone may be giving her ideas on getting divorced and may give her an idea to fabricate a story especially since she was adamant on you to leave the home. If she tries to provoke you, leav…
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/25 04:07 AM
1

You dodged a bullet on the i864. Since you were married, all debts occurred after the marriage should be split in half. Since all those debts were occurred after you got married she owes half to you. How she gives you that amount is up to you and her. If she doesn’t pay, you would have to take her back to court and get a motion for enforcement. If she still doesn’t pay them you’ll have to keep on filing motions and possibly try to garnish her wages. If she has no income you’re unfortunately goin…
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/25 05:36 AM
4

Take all assets gained during the marriage(equity in home, 401k, bank accounts, investments, etc) minus any debts and divide by half. If you had a lot of assets before you got married you may be able to say that the assets before you got married should be yours. Texas is an equitable distribution state so it doesn’t have to be 50/50 in the end. It could end up being 47/53 or some other number.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/25 01:01 AM
8

Go talk to a Bankruptcy attorney. If you can file chapter 7, it'll wipe out all your unsecured debts. There is a income limit for filing chapter 7 and if you have any worthwhile assets, they could make you sell it. Chapter 13 is a repayment plan where you pay an amount(disposable income) that is calculated by your income minus obligations. If you end up filing chapter 13, it might not benefit you much because any disposable income you have will go to creditors. It may reduce your payments to uns…
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/25 03:40 PM
1

How far along are you in the divorce process? If you haven’t had your temporary orders hearing, say you want primary custody and go for child support. Then during mediation you can offer(if you want) 50/50 with no child support. If she’s making 385k, more than likely she won’t be suffering without child support. I make a third of that and I don’t collect child support from my ex(would’ve been a few hundred a month but not worth fighting over)
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/24 05:27 AM
1

Have you thought of going for primary custody? With the stbx making so much, there must be some money(401k, stocks, etc) somewhere to split unless it was all spent. If you can’t get primary custody, make sure you get half of all assets.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/24 03:06 AM
6

When you file, ask for child support. Hopefully she’ll pay something to help relieve your financial stress.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/24 05:42 PM
1

If you can get your STBXW to agree to 50/50 then it’s possible. She’s probably wanting to get primary for child support. Can you prove that you’re the primary caretaker? If so, gather as much evidence you can( Dr appointments, helping with school, if you do pickups from school, etc.). When you go to the temp order hearing , I was you don’t get much time to state your case so make sure you have compelling evidence to show in a brief amount of time. File your response saying you want primary custo…
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/24 04:53 AM
3

I wouldn’t go to the court to get a copy of the summons. You can probably get it online. In the meantime go hire an attorney to be prepared. If she tries to serve you right before the temp order hearing you can ask for a continuance saying you just got served and have not had time to prepare. Buys you more time. You really want to get 50/50 or more set at the temp orders hearing because that is usually how the final orders end up. Bring evidence of you being more of the caretaker. If you don’t p…
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/24 12:03 AM
4

Depends on who the audience is. To your kids try not to badmouth your ex. It’s hard to do but she is their mother and they won’t understand if they’re young. Maybe you can tell them your side of the story when they’re old enough to understand. To people who are acquaintances don’t try to say bad things and tell them you’d rather not comment about her. Now if the ex starts to talk nonsense to people then I’d say it’s fair game to say whatever is necessary to clear your name. To family and friends…
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 07:38 PM
8

I was in the same situation as you are. Married to a sahm who would spend so much I would only have enough left to pay just minimums on the cards. No matter how I explained to her how we were on the brink of default she wouldn’t cut down her excessive spending and would just tell me to get a better paying job. Sure I’d love to get a better paying job but I was doing most of the child care work and a better paying job would probably mean she would have to take care of the kids more which she didn…
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/24 02:13 AM
3

You won’t get a warrant for your arrest placed for a civil case but you can get a default judgement against you. Also look up the process on serving someone where the divorce was filed. If your ex who filed the divorce dropped off the papers I don’t think that would be proper service.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/24 07:02 PM
6

I can totally relate to your situation. The reasons I divorced my ex are almost the same reasons you are having issues with your spouse. My ex hated my whole family and would twist anything my family did into making them look like the enemy. My ex would also spend so much money like she made six figures and was a sahm who wouldn’t even watch the kids when I work from home. She thinks it’s fine for me to watch the kids while working when she watches tv and relaxes. My ex would never take responsi…
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/24 03:17 AM
7

Definitely take your son to a therapist and continue to not say anything negative about your ex towards your son. If you have insurance it may be covered. Just have to find a provider in network.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/24 03:57 PM
2

The only way you’re going to get child support in Texas is if you become the primary custodial parent. There is no calculator for 50/50 in Texas. Child support is a certain percentage of the non custodial parent net income. You should really contact an attorney who is familiar with how your county judges deal with 50/50 custody. Ask if a parent is designated primary even though custody is 50/50. If one parent becomes primary in 50/50 I’d go for half her assets. You can ask her to pay half your a…
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/24 01:23 AM
2

I think you just need to file an order with the courts to reduce child support or after 3 years when child support is reviewed.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/24 06:04 PM
1

It’s sad she’s using the children to try and keep her assets. Do you have any of this in writing that she will go for full custody of you try to fight for custody? Might try to use it against her in court. In Texas the default custody is the standard possession orders where one person is designated primary and the other is part of the joint conservatorship. In the end it’s like 70/30 custody split where one parent gets every other weekend and half summers and winter breaks. If 50/50 is a must, t…
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/24 06:00 PM
2

It can probably be done online and save you a trip to the office. I tried to do it online but ended up having to call it in because I forgot to take her off and remembered on the 31st day. Employers don’t want to pay for things that aren’t needed.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/24 03:30 AM
3

Might be dependent on employer but usually it’s 30 days after the final decree is signed by the judge the ex needs to come off the insurance.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/24 12:33 AM
3

Withdrawing from your 401k will incur a penalty of 10% I think, and then there are taxes. So you would probably get 70% of the value. I’m not sure if you could do a qdro for the total value of your current 401k balance but that would transfer whatever amount over to your STBXW into a 401k account of her own and that would put the burden of taxes on her when cashing it out. There is no early withdrawal penalty in a qdro. I’d go that route if she is willing. Also take into consideration that there…
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 03:09 AM
1

I get that it’s a judgement against you, but I would think temporary support wouldn’t be treated the same as a debt that could be discharged through bankruptcy. Best to talk to a bankruptcy attorney. If that was the case then everyone who owes any support would declare bankruptcy. When I filed bk they asked if I had any child support/alimony, and creditors would get paid anything left after paying child support. I don’t have any support obligations so it didn’t affect me. Even in bankruptcy not …
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/24 03:15 AM
7

I’m not sure if you filed bankruptcy it would help. Support payments are usually still owed when filing for bankruptcy.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/24 06:58 PM
2

Don’t agree to anything with what the STBXW is saying. She probably thinks she can get a lot but in reality it may not be the case in TX. Not a lawyer but divorced in TX to a SAHM. First, if you’ve been married for less than 10 years, most likely there is no alimony. The exception would be if the STBXW was disabled and could not work. Even then alimony won’t be forever. If you make a ton of money some judges could say to pay your spouse support temporarily. I was married to my ex for 9 years and…
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/24 08:36 PM
2

There should be some verbiage in the divorce petition stating you should respond by x days. It’s usually 30 days from the date of service. It’s also really strange to schedule a hearing so close to the date you were served. If you dodged being served for a week the hearing would’ve been cancelled since you wouldn’t have been served. There should be no alimony unless you were married for over 10 years in TX. Even then,she has a job (your business) and I’m assuming half the earnings are hers so ne…
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/24 02:09 AM
8

Yea there are really no financial benefits to marriage unless your partner is already established in their career and also contributes financially. Any money my ex made went to her bank account but all her credit cards were paid from my earnings. I often think the same things as OP and for sure would’ve been better off financially. Probably be able to enjoy life but the one thing that supersedes all that are my kids. If I didn’t marry my ex I would’ve never had the kids I have now so I just acce…
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 07:39 PM
5

The day she got served but probably been talking to the guy before. She just made it obvious starting that day.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 01:39 AM
3

Spent about 8k on legal fees. Kept all my debt in order to keep the house. I got custody of the kids. She got 30k from my retirement which was well worth it to have her just walk away. That money was gone in less than 6 months. So for 38k I got everything I wanted.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 03:41 AM
2

Not a lawyer but if the judge signed off on the MSA and you have the signed final decree then she’s probably out of luck. She could attempt to modify CS but there would have to be a reason like you started to earn much more than when the divorce was signed. If nothing has changed then her CS modification request may fail. Also there may be a time she has to wait until the she can request an adjustment to CS. My attorney said I could adjust CS 3 years after divorce if my ex made more money.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/24 10:21 PM
9

Get ready to file first and do it soon. You want to set Texas as jurisdiction for the divorce. If she takes the kids and establishes residence in the new state then you will be tied to the divorce laws of the new state. You want to file and hurry to get the temporary order hearing scheduled to lock the kids jurisdiction to Texas. Texas isn’t too bad for divorce. You won’t have to pay alimony since you’ve been married for 7 years. If she stays then she’ll have to get a job to support the kids alo…
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/24 01:18 AM
2

That’s a good question and to be honest not sure. I asked my lawyer the same question and he made it sound like it was better to get the divorce done before it hit 10 years. It all depends on the judge I guess. I filed at close to being married for 9 years and made sure to get it done before the 10 year mark. It took me about 7 months from the date I filed until I got the final decree signed by the judge. Technically you could get it done before fall if you start now and have an agreement in pla…
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/24 03:28 AM
5

Texas isn’t as bad as you think for men. No alimony for marriages under 10 years (even for SAHMs) unless there are some excruciating circumstances like your wife is disabled and unable to work or you have a child with special needs. Child support is 30% of your net take home for three kids with a cap at 2700(this is why Elon musk is trying to say jurisdiction of his custody battle should be in Texas). Assets and debts are split 50/50 or close to it. Only downside is there is no default 50/50 cus…
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/24 12:52 AM
3

Talk with a lawyer and probably will have to file first in the county where you currently reside. You want to set jurisdiction for your divorce in your current county. If not she may be able to file in the county of her new residence (south Texas). Plus once you file then things are put on hold and won’t change until your temporary order hearing. Texas has no alimony for marriages under 10 years so don’t expect to pay her alimony even if she requests it unless she’s disabled or your daughter has…
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/24 01:45 AM
8

Play by the books. Do not give anything outside the MSA. You never mentioned if there is a signed decree by a judge. The MSA is an agreement but you aren’t officially divorced until the judge signs off on the final decree. If you haven’t gotten the judge to sign off on it I’d get that done ASAP. Are you the primary custodial parent? I’m guessing you have primary support since the kids are zoned to the schools for your home and she probably has to live within a 100 mile radius. If that is the cas…
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 01:10 AM
1

Log into your MetLife account and it may be covered under miscellaneous family law. Instead of saying you’re going to sue for contempt you might say you need a lawyer for custody issues after a decree was issued where your ex is not adhering to the to the decree.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/24 03:45 AM
2

You would have to pay an attorney first then ask for sanctions (ask for legal fees from the spouse). I’m surprised MetLife doesn’t cover it. They seem to cover almost anything. Maybe try reaching out to a few attorneys in MetLife’s network.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/24 08:05 PM
3

One thing to add, you don’t have to sign this waiver. You haven’t been officially served of the divorce petition through this waiver. This waiver is for her to save money on having a service processor serve you. If you want to string her along you can just say you’ll sign the waiver later and never do it. Eventually she’ll have to get you served so use this time to talk to a few lawyers that are familiar with the court in your county. Don’t get too stressed about what she wants because it is wha…
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 06:14 PM
3

Don’t sign the waiver just yet. Once you sign it then you have 60 days to file a response. I’d sign it once you retain a lawyer. Her lawyer is working in her best interest and not yours. Her requests are pretty one sided but if that’s what she filed then it can’t be changed. She’s asking for her attorney fees, give her sole custody of the child and give her child support(even after you die). You should ask for joint managing conservators else she may be able to take your child wherever she wants…
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 01:14 PM
9

If you have your mind set on divorce it’s sort of a blessing in disguise when the stbx monkey branches. I at first thought it was messed up how my ex was talking to someone the day she got served (because she was probably talking to the guy even before) but in the end it helped speed things up and was funny to see it all end for some reason once the divorce was finalized.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/24 08:26 PM
2

Debts don’t have to be satisfied but more likely needs to be assigned to who will be responsible by dividing all debts in half. You are still responsible for debts in your name though. Best thing is for whoever owns the debts to take it but if it’s uneven then the spouse with more debt needs to be compensated. Not a lawyer but property taxes(if the house is a joint asset) along with credit card debt is marital debt unless she spent an abnormally large amount on an affair. If she is claiming half…
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 09:51 PM
4

I'd file married for a better return/lower owed to the IRS. Hire a CPA to do the tax return and tell them to split the result to your account and your stbxw's account. Have them also show the 1040 before filing so you know exactly what you will get or owed. I filed married for the year before the divorce was finalized else I would've owed a bit of money. Then I adjusted my deductions so that I wouldn't have to owe when filing the next year as I would be filing head of household.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/24 10:20 PM
1

Sorry to hear she’s not really interested in your daughter. I would bring up her past offer of custody and the house and see if it still stands. If you can live without child support then don’t request it from her. That may be enough to convince her to just walk away and may be enough to cover her half of the equity in the home. On paper you can put in a parenting plan to please the judge but if she’s checked out like it sounds, she might not visit your daughter or only visit when it’s at her co…
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/24 01:49 AM
2

Take all assets acquired during the marriage then subtract debts acquired through the marriage then divide by 2. That should be the fair amount she should get. Did your retirement grow 200k during the marriage? If not then take the amount appreciated and she gets half. Did she buy her home during the marriage? If not, then you may only be entitled to half of the value appreciated during the marriage. She probably doesn’t want to bring up your personal loan because she’s probably on the hook for …
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/24 02:10 AM
2

Makes sense now.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/24 01:49 PM
9

How come she didn’t get her permanent green card during the 7 years of marriage? Did she come here within the last two years? You can try to wait until she gets her permanent green card or she can find a way to get a green card after the divorce which may be tough. If you do get custody don’t plan on getting any child support from her if she has to leave the country because it probably won’t be enforceable.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/24 04:09 AM
1

Mine was a rare case but in TX there is no alimony if married for less than 10 years. I was married to a SAHM for 9 years and finally opened my eyes. Decided to pull the trigger and I ended up with custody of the kids. I gave her half of my 401k at the time which wasn’t much and that was it. She technically had to pay me child support since I got primary custody of the kids but didn’t take child support to get the divorce done. I did end up with a pile of debt and the home so it all equaled out.…
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/24 02:17 AM
9

She’s the one that walked out on the family. You shouldn’t feel guilty about the kids. If she didn’t cheat then you wouldn’t be in this situation. You can also be as much a co-parent as your spouse after you divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/23 05:36 AM
2

Do a google search for your county online court records. Then enter your name and it’ll show you any cases with your name in it.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/23 04:46 AM
2

How long has she been gone with your child? Don’t let her stay away for a long period of time else she can file somewhere else and say that is her and your child’s primary residence. You need to file quickly in your county of residence to say that is where your child’s primary residence is and thats where you all lived for the past x amount of years/months. Check your county court website to see if a divorce has been filed. Most counties have records online where you can search. If no divorce ha…
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/23 04:26 AM
2

I’d just pay the required amount that the state sets and not pay half of the daycare costs. Daycare costs should be what the support is covering. Plus 600 a month in extracurricular seems excessive for a 14 month old unless there are special needs. Haven’t seen a 14 month old play any sports or really do extracurricular stuff. Definitely pay half of the medical expenses and future extracurricular per the divorce decree. Only pay what is required in the decree.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/23 08:40 PM
5

Divorce first reconcile later if you really must. Protect yourself from lifetime alimony.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 01:20 AM
3

People like your stbxw don’t deserve to be a mother. She’s also something that is out of your control. I’d stop trying to have her contact your daughter. I know it sucks that she won’t have her mom around but kids think out of sight out of mind. Just make sure to be there for your daughter and show her your love and hopefully she will be fine. Since my ex left she has only seen my kids once in 8 months. She’s supposed to have custody every other weekend but never takes the kids. I’m kind of glad…
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/23 10:40 PM
4

How is the custody schedule stated in the divorce decree? If it says 50/50 in the decree but you've been the primary parent for the past few years you may want to take the opportunity during this court battle to change the original custody agreement to you being the primary parent and not 50/50. Hopefully that'll relieve you also from paying child support.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/23 06:34 PM
1

Find a lawyer who gives first consults for free. Most may charge but there are still attorneys who give out free consult. Ask them when you have to have an answer to the divorce petition. Usually it’s before a default judgement can be placed. It probably varies between jurisdictions but may be 60 days. My ex filed her response after 30 days but just before I could’ve asked for a default judgement which is 60 days. Worst case scenario file the response as pro se to prevent the default judgement w…
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/23 06:40 PM
15

That’s just her opening offer so don’t agree to it. It’s like when you go to buy a car the salesman will come back with an awful deal to test the waters. Her offer is so lopsided it’s a joke. Any assets that were accumulated during the marriage should be split along with debts as a starting point. Depending on your state you should then look at who would be responsible for child support and if possible spousal support. Get an attorney that is familiar with your county’s judges. Don’t settle for …
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/23 01:42 AM
2

Even if you did get a settlement in mediation tomorrow it probably won’t be official until 2024. The petitioner’s attorney has to draft the decree which can take a few weeks. Then both parties have to come to agreement on the final decree. Once both parties agree then it will be given for the judge to sign off on. There are only seven weeks left in 2023 and things will probably slow down for the holidays. I’d just prepare to change your withholdings come the new year.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/23 02:42 AM
2

No spousal support for marriages under 10 years unless she has some disability that prevents her from working. She can get half of the amount accumulated during your marriage from your 401K and half of the equity of the home(if you have one). TX is a one party consent state so you should probably record your communication since she is verbally abusive. Might also want to have cameras up in the home in case she files a false DV claim but if you don't own a home, might as well leave when you're re…
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/23 07:02 PM
8

Keep it between you and your attorney. Let your attorney use the information you have when they think it’ll have the most impact. Telling her that you know won’t benefit you in any way. Get things done while she’s in the affair fog. If that’s her excuse to be away from the kids it sounds like the kids aren’t really her priority. What parent wouldn’t want to spend time with their kids and instead practice one parent being out of the home. Just gather all the info you can. Keep track of the nights…
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/23 02:04 AM
1

If you don’t want to pay force the sale of the home. Any equity will be held up in the court registrar until the divorce is finalized. She can withdraw some for her necessities but that should be taken out of her share of the equity. You might have to pay maintenance if you make a lot of money and can afford to pay for two households. Since you probably have the money I’d buy her out of her share. Then all you have to do is get her name off the deed once the divorce is final. She can stay during…
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/23 01:31 AM
1

Don’t move for her if your job and family is where you’re currently at. I made the mistake of leaving a great job just because the ex wanted to move away from my family and regret it. Just like you mentioned if you move you may not find something that pays better or no job at all. If you’re sensing that moving with her might not help with the marriage in the end then don’t do it. You need to think of your future first. If you want to make sure the kids stay in your current location you probably …
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/23 03:01 PM
2

This is spot on. Follow the money and make sure the loan money was actually deposited somewhere or spent somewhere and not some made up loan.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/23 03:43 PM
1

Sell after the divorce is over. If you sell during the divorce neither of you will be able to get your share of the equity until you agree on how assets will be split. The equity will be held up by the court. So if she wants the equity as fast as she wants tell her to quickly come to terms in regards to the divorce. Do not go with an agent that she knows. Who knows, she may get a kick back from that agent she wants to use and not share it with you.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/23 03:46 AM
1

NAL but make sure your ex is off the deed before changing locks. Once that is done(check online at the county clerk's website and search for the deed) the house is free and clear of her and belongs to you. If she wasn't on the deed then change the locks. Check your decree if there is a move out date and if it lists things she deems as hers. Anything not on that list is technically yours. Notify her that you'll be leaving anything you find that belongs to her in boxes in the garage and she can pi…
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/23 06:24 PM
2

Also do not call her lawyer EVER. Let your attorney do the talking.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/23 12:58 AM
3

Look at your county's website and see if your name comes up in any open legal cases. If she filed you should have a case appear in the search results. If you had other civil cases in the past you may also get some results. Even if she filed, you should have some time to respond from the date you get served, not when she filed. If you have to respond before October 3rd then see if that attorney can slide you in sooner than October 3rd or go talk to another attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 09:48 PM
5

Do not confront her about it. You're casually dating and even though technically you're still married, the marriage is over. Take advantage of the fact that she's willing to move on and finalize the divorce as soon as possible. My ex did the same thing and yes it was kind of upsetting at first because it felt like she was already talking to the person even before I filed for divorce like having an emotional affair. After a couple days I was over it and helped speed up the divorce because she wan…
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/23 04:32 PM
1

Easy way to check if both you and your ex is on the mortgage is to look on your mortgage statement and see if both your names are on it. If both you are on it then you'll have to refinance or see if you can assume the mortgage to get her name off the mortgage. As for the deed, see if you can search property records online and see if both of you and your wife are on the deed. You can also look at the tax bill and if both your names are on the tax bill then both of you are probably on the deed and…
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/23 04:00 PM
1

IANAL but if you're buying her out of the house then her name needs to come off the deed. Need to submit a "special warranty deed". Quitclaim deeds are not common in TX and may not be accepted when trying to sell the home later. If she's on the mortgage, then you need to either assume the loan(if it is assumable) or refi to get her name off the mortgage. If she's fine with her name still on the mortgage then that's a risk she's willing to take. You want to separate the asset(home) now and not la…
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/23 02:48 PM
7

That entitled brat syndrome is probably universal amongst women who think they are all that and who expect us to worship them like some kind of idol. If you’re tired of her nonsense just file for divorce. She won’t leave until she’s forced out or finds a new branch to grab onto. She’ll be fine on her own. She’s a grown woman and if she needs to she can go back to her parents. That’s what happened to my ex. She had to leave the marital home by a certain date but her monkey branch fell through and…
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/23 01:55 AM
2

I’m surprised you have to pay maintenance but it’s such a small amount which makes it surprising. I’m guessing it’s to even something out. I didn’t have to pay any maintenance because I had nothing to offer as I was drowning in debt because of my ex. If I had to pay my ex I would’ve probably not had the means to support the kids. Make sure she doesn’t drag things out. I told my lawyer to schedule everything as soon as possible and he was even able to schedule up to the trial date so it kind of k…
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/23 07:09 PM
2

You need to understand that this is not the final divorce decree. These are just orders for the time being until the divorce is finalized. Most likely assets will be split. I think this is a decent deal, OP doesn't have to pay mortgage but does have to pay CS which is a wash. Things can change but so far it's a decent deal where OP doesn't have to pay a mortgage but instead pays CS and minimal spousal support so it all evens out. OP, were you married more than 10 years to have to provide spousal…
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/23 05:13 PM
2

Can you leave the amount awarded to your ex in your old 401k so that when she does decide to file a qdro, the funds are there?
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 12:47 AM
2

Try to put off bankruptcy as long as possible. Best is to do it after divorce. Filing for bankruptcy during divorce will put the divorce on hold( fed case > county cases) until the bankruptcy is settled. If you have to, stop paying the credit cards and pay for necessities. If you file for bankruptcy you’ll have to stop paying them before filing anyways. Also if you complete your bankruptcy before divorce I’m not sure if you can claim the debts you have to repay as marital debts. What is it your …
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 02:11 AM
3

Only thing she’s right about is the alimony for marriages after 10 years but that’s not a permanent thing nor is it guaranteed. There are caps to how long and how much she can get. Also she has to find a job and alimony is for any shortcomings where she can’t afford the basics(housing, food, clothing). If she was disabled then I can see her getting alimony for sure but that doesn’t seem to be the case. She won’t get extra in alimony because your child is “disabled”. It’s the child support that m…
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 01:13 AM
2

You sound like my ex. Blaming someone else for their own mistakes. I don’t know about you but I didn’t keep track of my ex’s passport expiration date. Any normal adult would be responsible enough to know roughly when their passport expires or at least dust it off if planning on going out of the country when planning for it. Comparing OP to your brother in law dad is not apples to apples. Your brother in laws dad was taking care of a terminally I’ll person which is commendable. OP’s wife isn’t te…
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/23 02:27 AM
3

Don’t tell the STBXW anything that might tip her off you’re going to file. She may clean out the accounts. Go talk to an attorney to see what you can do. I stopped putting my wages in the joint account a couple months before the divorce was filed. Pay for everything in your name so it doesn’t affect your credit. Take her off any cards she is a authorized user to.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/23 07:14 PM
3

If the final decree was signed by her and the judge I would cancel your plane ticket and use the credit to go somewhere on your own. If it’s not signed by the judge then you might have no choice but to go. Go sign up for some hotel branded credit cards and you can get some free nights out of them. Go somewhere you can enjoy yourself. Who cares about the manipulative ex. You deserve a vacation of your own and from now on ignore as much as you can and if you feel like you’re slipping, think of all…
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/23 01:46 AM
6

My ex tried to hide some of her accounts also during the divorce. I had my lawyer notify hers that I know there are more accounts than what was provided and threaten to file a motion to compel with sanctions. If the motion went through and the judge agreed with the sanctions then my ex would have had to pay my legal fees for having to file the motion. That got my ex’s attention and she submitted all the correct documents.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/23 07:18 PM
1

Have your attorney draft up a settlement agreement and make sure to get it signed by the two of you. Your attorney should then draft a final decree based on it and give it to the judge to sign. Most likely the judge will sign off on it and probably do not have to make an appearance in court. I didn't have to make any appearances in court for my divorce in TX. Move fast as possible while she's in the affair fog. Once that clears up or loses her next branch to grab onto, she will want to go 50/50 …
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/23 04:04 PM
1

Your friend should really get a consult from a good attorney that practices in his county or is very familiar with the judges in his county. In TX there is no alimony for marriage of less than 10 years. Even if the spouse wasn’t working at the time of divorce it would be difficult to get alimony for someone who is capable of working. There could be some special circumstances where there may be temporary support if the sole earner could support two separate households but it wouldn’t be anything …
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/23 04:45 AM
1

Did you and the STBXW sign some kind of mediation settlement agreement or just stopped to mediate the remaining 10% of the items at a later time? Usually if something was signed then it’s hard to renege on it and if you both had agreed to a custody agreement during mediation then she may be out of luck. If nothing was signed then it may be back to square one unfortunately.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/23 04:00 AM
4

Get the divorce done with assistance from your uncle while she’s in the affair fog. She may be willing to end things faster and fight less for things. I wouldn’t expose her affair right now unless you live in a state where adultery matters.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/23 02:15 PM
2

What jimsmythee said is correct. If you file bankruptcy during the divorce, the divorce gets put on hold until your bankruptcy is completed. Federal cases trump local county cases. That being said if you have high amounts of debts that you want to split between your STBXW or use to negotiate assets, don’t file for bankruptcy until divorce is over. Else you’re wiping any debts when filing chapter 7 and giving her a clean slate at your expense.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/23 02:07 AM
1

Technically she’s entitled to half of your earnings and you are entitled to half of hers(unless she doesn’t work). If you feel that a divorce is coming cut her off while you can. Once someone files there are standing orders that take affect and you can’t make changes like removing your earnings to a shared account. Check your county for the specifics in the standing orders. I think each county in TX has different standing orders. Don’t spend everything you have though because technically half be…
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 03:44 AM
2

Sorry you're going through this. I also got full custody of my kids and their mother has pretty much walked out of their lives. Since you just filed, push this divorce through as fast as possible since your stbxw is willing to give up everything. If she changes her mind things can become difficult and may try to fight everything. Kids know who the stable parent is. Continue doing what you've been doing for the kids and also take care of yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/23 03:31 PM
1

Was the divorce filed in TX? Did she take off with the kids after she was served or did she file the divorce? There are usually standing orders that takes place once the divorce is filed that may prevent removing children from TX. Check if your county has standing orders that specifically mentions child custody.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 06:39 PM
1

I get where you’re coming from. I lost quite a bit and felt used throughout my marriage but I see it as a learning experience. Dwelling in the past doesn’t help one bit and you’re young so you have plenty of time to make that money back. Sure, thinking back and saying you could’ve done something to prevent this is easy but really doesn’t help. I also had thoughts my ex used me to get her citizenship but I’m glad she got her citizenship or else I could have been on the hook to support her. Just t…
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/23 03:59 AM
1

Don’t stress too much. Lawyers will ask for everything but it’s just to cover their end and things will be divided in half. My ex asked for alimony and said it was my fault the marriage failed in a state where there is no alimony and no fault.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/23 09:52 PM
3

Do you have anything in writing like text message or email of her agreeing you to get custody or has it all just been verbal? Ask your lawyer what their plan is to get things moving along. If she’s representing herself pro se then shouldn’t you have the upper hand since you have an attorney? Maybe you need to tell your attorney to dial it up a notch. Or dangle a carrot in front of your STBXW and say you’ll help her pay for a place for a bit if she signs a custody plan. I’d ask your attorney if t…
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/23 01:25 AM
3

Is she someone who will dwell on things from the past and not let it go? If she is the type to dwell on things from the past she’s never going to get over this and will probably be brought up every argument and say your family doesn’t like her or respects her. She’ll probably alienate you from your family further the longer you stay with her. I heard the same thing from my ex saying her ex’s parents treated her so well and bla bla bla. It was like she expected everyone to kiss her ass and treat …
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/23 01:00 AM
1

You might want to get an idea on what your stbx thinks about custody. By default in TX there is no 50/50 custody. You can do it but both sides pretty much has to come to an agreement on it. I’m not sure how CS would be calculated on a 50/50 custody split. The default in TX is standard expanded where one person would get primary custody and the non custodial parent has to pay CS. If you have one child its 20% of your take home pay in CS and if you have 2 kids its 25%. If you get primary custody y…
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/23 01:46 AM
1

Yes you can divorce amicably but it's really up to you and your STBX. If you both are willing to compromise you can probably get things done in mediation and the judge will pretty much sign off on what was agreed in the mediation settlement agreement(MSA). For the house, look at the value listed for your home in zillow, redfin, and realtor.com and take the average of those three. Seems like attorneys do that for the value of the home. Once you get the average selling price, then subtract what yo…
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 06:57 PM
3

I think she’s just grasping for air and trying to throw anything at the wall to see what sticks. If there was an instance of DV why is she reporting it now and why not to the police? She may make some crazy allegations that she can’t work due to your “abuse”. Her attorney is going to make false accusations but that is something they need to prove and if I were you I wouldn’t get too worked about it. Attorneys and judges are not new to this and should be able to see through the fog of lies. She c…
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 01:02 AM
1

You may find out during your Temporary order hearing on if you would have to pay some kind of maintenance or not. If you are trying to negotiate some kind of agreement without going to your temp. order hearing, then it's going to take as long as it takes for the two of you to come to an agreement. Ask your lawyer what they think the chances are for a judge to actually give your STBXW alimony in your situation. If they say slim to no chance of her getting alimony then go in front of a judge(sched…
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 10:19 PM
4

Wow, her lawyer is crazy if they thought this would be a way to get support. The judge is probably not going to give alimony to someone who was married less than 10 years and capable of working. My guess is her lawyer is going to say you are capable of maintaining two households with your income. Hopefully the judge will see through the lies and denies alimony. Even in the worst case scenario where the judge does grant her alimony it’s not going to be permanent so she’s going to have to work soo…
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 06:58 PM
7

Not a lawyer but unless you agreed to the statement in providing full support you are probably off the hook for alimony. Did she just decide to quit or was she fired from her job? If she quit, then that was her decision to stop working and you shouldn't have to support her. Since she had a job recently that shows that she's capable of working. Unless she has suddenly discovered she has some kind of disability the judge should not require you to provide support. Did you take custody of the step-c…
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 05:43 PM
1

It's crazy how these spouses will try to throw whatever they think will stick on the wall. But in the end she has the burden of proving the allegations are true. Her attorney claiming you have a registered business you can respond that you have no legally filed business with the state or county and he can pound sand. Who knows, her attorney may be trying to dig up stuff so he can bill her more. If she wants child support, she should be paying for daycare since that's what child support is for, t…
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/23 06:35 PM
3

This is pretty spot on. Only thing I would add is to not co-mingle any assets. Keep your cash in an account where she will not be added onto. If she wants to join your bank account do not do it. Instead open a separate joint account that starts with an initial balance of 0. You want to be able to provide a snapshot of your finance prior to the marriage in the event you do divorce. Same thing with your retirement, keep documentation on how much you have now before getting married. Once you are ma…
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/23 04:23 AM
17

She probably doesn’t think she’s delusional but she is. And definitely incompetent on finances and how much cost of living in a decent place is. Once they get used to you covering all the expenses and using all your money they think money grows on trees. My ex has no clue on finances and thought she would get endless credit cards from banks so she would max one out and then apply for a new card. It’s crazy how banks give such high credit limits to a SAHM with no income. I’m in the same shoes as …
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/23 04:22 AM
3

Who came up with the 3K a month alimony value? Does your lawyer expect you to owe 3K a month for alimony? If you do owe her 3K a month and paid that a month for 7 years you would end up paying $252,000 over the 84 month period. If you have more than 504,000(252,000 x 2)in equity then you need to sell the home as you would be on the losing end. I’m guessing your equity is more than 504,000 if your home is worth multi million dollars. Just trying to show the numbers if you end up listening to her.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/23 01:15 AM
12

Exactly this. Don't tell her anything until you need to disclose it. If she knows now, she'll try to do things to get what she isn't entitled to and may even stall the divorce. Let her find out the hard way. Silence is golden sometimes.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/23 02:38 PM
3

First, if you don't have a lawyer, time to get one. Second, if you want to sell the home you should ask your attorney to see if the court can force the sale of the home. Keep in mind any equity from the home will stay in a court registrar or some other escrow account and will be held up until the end of the divorce when assets are split. You can withdraw from the registrar/escrow account for daily expenses if needed and so can she.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/23 04:44 AM
1

This Pretty much sums it up. Another thing to add is you’ll probably have to pay child support of 20% of your take home pay. Since you admit to cheating it’s possible she gets a little more of the assets like a 55/45 split instead of a 50/50 split even though TX is a no fault state. If you can afford to pay for two households she may ask for temporary spousal support.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/23 04:20 AM
3

Sorry to say but I think your girlfriend has become the entitled woman like some of our ex spouses. From reading your post, just wanting more in life without putting in the work and depending on someone else sounds just like my ex. My ex always wanted the best things, a bigger house, vacations, etc. She would look at new homes that we couldn't afford and would complain that I wasn't earning enough to afford this home. If she wasn't wasting away my money we probably could afford it. There will al…
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 06:04 PM
2

The amount of detail that is looked at the statements really depends on if there is something you or your STBX is looking for. If you suspect waste in marital assets then you would want to go through each statement and document the waste or if there was infidelity and your STBX spent a lot of marital funds on the affair, you would want to recoup those costs. I looked at my ex's in detail and pointed out any waste to my attorney because I don't want my attorney to go through them line by line and…
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/23 06:06 PM
2

If your wife earns six figures in TX she may not get alimony. Reason being is that she is earning sufficient income to pay for her needs. If she was a SAHM or earning minimum wage then you would probably have to pay alimony for up to 5 years. Since you are getting primary custody you can ask her for child support but have to be careful. Once you ask for child support she may say she’ll take primary custody because she doesn’t want to pay and make you pay her child support instead. Don’t mention …
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/23 05:19 PM
5

In TX child support is a percentage of your take home pay and if you have no income it’s based on federal minimum wage. One child is 20% and two children is 25% of your take home pay. Whoever is the non custodial parent will pay child support so if by chance you get primary custody your STBXW would pay you a percentage of the income. I think you can also negotiate the child support amount like if you paid for insurance you can deduct that amount. Since my ex didn’t want primary custody she was s…
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/23 02:57 AM
13

My ex only apologized for god knows what after I redirected my pay to another account from the joint account. It was too late anyways because by that time I had already paid the retainer for my attorney and the ball was rolling towards divorce. Even till this day I don’t think she understands what drove me to file for divorce because she still spent money like she was earning six figures after I filed when she was a “sahm” who didn’t even watch her kids while I worked at home. Like others here h…
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/23 12:10 AM
6

Your lawyer may be correct that you have to buy her out since the LLC would be an asset if you are listed as the owner. If you have doubts it wouldn’t hurt to reach out to another attorney and pay for an hour of their time to see if that is the case. Since you have custody of the kids you’re entitled to child support from her. Reason I bring this up is you can take the total amount of child support that you would receive and then put that number against half of the value of your business and pay…
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/23 10:54 PM
1

I was lucky and got primary custody without much of a fight. I told the ex I would raise the kids and she didn’t fight me on it. I don’t think my ex wanted the kids because she couldn’t really support them with just child support. Plus there was a new guy that she was trying to branch onto once she got served with the papers.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/23 04:43 PM
0

She can make claims against you for whatever reason to try and destroy your character but at some point she’s going to need proof for those claims. I know it’s hard because my ex threw everything she could to see what would stick and bugged the hell out of me reading the claims but I had to let it go because anger would probably make me do something regretful. Don’t give her any ammo to use against you. She’ll never be punished for making false claims so just try to be calm and ignore her. I’m s…
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/23 01:09 AM
2

If it’s in the divorce decree that you are awarded the home she has to sign the quitclaim deed. Might have to file a motion to get her to sign it though and ask for legal fees. Might even ask for the HOA dues if she had a deadline for when the quitclaim had to be signed. I’ve read that some places will allow you to use your divorce decree in lieu of a deed to take your wife off but definitely talk to your lawyer about it.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/23 03:51 AM
5

Check if your loan is assumable. I think FHA loans are and if it is you can keep the same terms but take your ex off the mortgage.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/23 12:11 AM
1

Like everyone else says, do not talk to your STBXW. Just reply with I don’t know unless it’s something for your kids. My ex would always turn things on me and accuse me of telling her something when I never said anything or said something completely different. She can twist things around and make false claims that you threatened her. Don’t wait for her and file first so you can be in control of the divorce process. Delaying until the end of the school year to be over is nonsense because the whol…
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/23 04:15 PM
8

Wow and I thought my ex was bad. Sorry you had to live with someone like that. Funny thing about my ex was when she complained about how slow I was I would tell her to do whatever it was she told me to do next time and she would respond with either I can’t do it or I don’t know how to do it.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/23 07:49 PM
9

And I thought it was only my ex complaining how things aren’t done fast enough lol. These toxic people really are all the same.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/23 07:08 PM
2

By default custody in TX follows the expanded standard possession rule where the non primary custodial parent gets the first, third, and fifth weekend every month. Also 30 days during summer break and a week for thanksgiving or Christmas. From my understanding(recently divorced in TX) to get 50/50 you would have to come to an agreement with your STBXW. I hear it’s not impossible but it is also possible to get primary custody. It may be an uphill battle since your daughter is only 14 months old. …
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/23 04:59 AM
2

Need to file a motion to compel for the discovery data with sanctions. Sanctions means that you are asking for legal fees for this motion to compel if it is granted. That should throw some fire to her feet since you’ve waited long enough with no results.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/23 04:56 AM
7

My ex was already on sites couple weeks after she got served. I found out through discovery when looking at her credit card statements. She was technically using marital funds to sign up for these dating sites. It’s sad and pathetic how these people are so desperate to find their next victim to leech off of. I feel bad for whoever her next victim is.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/23 01:43 AM
1

Sorry you had to deal with such a horrible person. I’m not a lawyer but recently divorced in TX. I’ll start with the good news which is since it seems like you haven’t been married for more than 10 years and your STBXW works there will be 0 alimony. As for your step son did you have to declare or adopt him as your son? Did you have to sign a i-864 document for the step son when getting him a green card? You would have to pay child support if you are legally responsible for him and have declared …
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/23 05:06 AM
5

If you want to test the waters just keep on doing what you do and don’t give a crap about what she thinks. She’ll either accept it(I doubt it) or she’ll blow her lid and she may be the one wanting the divorce. I don’t think things will get any better and get most likely worse but who knows miracles do happen. I always had that feeling of walking on eggshells during the marriage and it was stressful to the point of it affecting my health. No matter what I did she wasn’t satisfied and just wanted …
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/23 08:32 PM
2

I’ve had to pay for two attorneys for the first consult. Found one that gave a free consult and was the one I went with because he knew his stuff. The ones I had to pay for were part of law firms so not sure if that has something to do with it but seems like these days more attorneys are asking for money for the first consult. One attorney I reached out to charged 600/hr but initial consult fee was like 300 so don’t forget to ask for their hourly rate when looking for a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/23 04:54 AM
2

If it’s a pension then I don’t think you can do a loan but may want to ask the department that handles the retirement for state employees. If it’s a 457(b) then it almost the same as a 401k and you can take loans against it. If there is a way for you to log into your retirement account website you may be able to ask there on if you can take a loan.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/23 02:18 AM
2

Can you take a loan against the retirement? That way you won’t get hit with a tax penalty and any interest is paid to your retirement fund.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/23 07:40 PM
2

She can still apply for a permanent green card once her conditional green card is about to expire. She can petition on her own stating the marriage was a legitimate one. Hopefully the system works and USCIS will deny the permanent green card with her criminal record. If you file for divorce you should probably mention that she married you for a green card and became more apparent after you got married. Even if it isn't completely true you may be able to put it in there because it seems like cour…
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 06:30 PM
1

This sounds about right. There are lawyers that can help you draft your divorce decree if the two of you come to an agreement on things. Might want to look for an attorney who will be there to answer your questions . If you go to mediation you can probably ask the attorney who is mediating questions as they should be neutral to both parties. If she’s not wanting half of everything like 401k or any savings then what you have outlined may not be a bad deal. It seems like that you know that you can…
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/23 02:14 AM
2

It's probably going to be a lot but if you're not happy don't let that stop you from divorcing her. No matter how much you love her she won't return the same love towards you and only cares about herself. There is probably a calculator on the internet for your state's child support. Alimony is probably a big variable. She's probably going to say that she has been getting the 5500 a month and say that was status quo and request that much or more in alimony. Remember this is all a demand and they …
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/23 05:44 PM
1

With all that spending and lying, has she crossed your red line or are you willing to give a few more feet until she crosses it? If this spending is the only fault you see in her then maybe give her one more chance but let her know, in writing, it's her last chance and if you find out she's hiding more then divorce her. This way you can show that you tried to save the marriage and it wasn't a rash decision to divorce. You have to protect yourself also because any debts she has, you may be liable…
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/23 05:40 AM
3

I’m not a lawyer so please consult with one in your county, but here my interpretation of how the laws may apply to you. My divorce is almost complete in TX. In TX if you were married for less than 10 years there would be no alimony unless your STBXW is incapable of earning income ( for example a disability). Your STBXW may have known this and held out for the 10 year mark to call it quits. I think you’ll have to pay alimony for half of the duration of the marriage after 10 years of marriage. If…
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/23 02:31 AM
2

Since you haven’t filed then you have as much custody as your wife does. She can pound sand when you take your daughter to your parents. Just document that you told her( text message preferably iMessage where it shows read receipts) where you are going to take your daughter and when she’ll be back. Also make sure your daughter doesn’t object going with you if she’s old enough to make her own choice. You don’t want her to say you took her when she didn’t want to go. Just CYA in case the wife trie…
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/23 04:30 AM
3

Secoond this. If it's your custody time you can take her wherever you wish. If you want to be nice and play it safe, you can send her a text and tell her where you'll be going with your daugher and when you will be bringing her back. That way if she tries to do anything crazy like call the cops on you, you can say you told her where your daughter will be. If you're still technically married without a formal custody arrangement then you should have access to your child as much as your wife has. S…
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/23 11:58 PM
2

You can't have your parents sign the I-864. What do you think the USCIS agent who is in charge of your case going to think? They're going to see it as a red flag. Think this through carefully, that I-864 is no joke. The federal government can sue you for support if she claims any benefits from the government. If you have any doubts about your wife, sorry to say but think about ending it now. Is she working now in her home country? If not you really need to think about if she will work here. As f…
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/23 06:41 PM
1

Yikes, that is quite a list. Did you have to give any proof for those faults listed? My ex put some faults in her response but they were just broad accusations she couldn't prove. Apparently some lawyers will throw everything at you and see what sticks because there is no punishment for making up stuff.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/23 08:09 PM
2

You don't want to get the ex worked up by listing a bunch of faults when it wont help you. You can list the faults at a later time. Unless she was cheating and you are in a state where adultery can affect outcomes it doesn't seem to be worth it.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/23 03:07 PM
6

I didn’t tell my ex anything. She got an email from my attorney and that was it. We stopped talking about 6 months prior to me filing so she had to have known it was coming. I didn’t want to give her an advantage in filing first because one attorney mentioned that it would be better for me to file first with something plain and not point any faults in the filing to show that I want this to be amicable. If she filed first and started with accusations and faults for the failure of marriage, I woul…
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/23 04:57 AM
1

Since you've only been married for about a year I'd end this now. She just sees you as an ATM machine that will always have money and her spending will probably get worse. If she thinks her money is hers and yours is both hers and yours then it's not going to work out. My STBX constantly spent money and never contributed to the family. The sex part is probably going to get worse and even worse if you ever have kids. Did you purchase the home before you got married or after? If it was purchased b…
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/23 04:23 PM
2

Was it a legal separation or divorce filing in April? Seems like in states that have a legal separation, the date of separation dictates the split of finances but if it was a divorce filing then it could be considered marital debt because you are still technically married(something my TX attorney mentioned when I asked if finances are separated upon filing for divorce) I'd ask your attorney if you can make a reimbursement claim since she was spending on non essential things. If it's not possible…
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/23 02:45 AM
3

I'd definitely make a reimbursement claim on that 60K spent after filing for divorce. No one should be spending that kind of money during a divorce as money should be spent only on necessities. The income she's making now and projecting to make could be something positive for you. First it shows that she's had an income the past two years and can support herself. Second if she's claiming to make 100K she would be making more than you and maybe you can ask for alimony since you make 80K. Make sur…
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/23 04:44 PM
3

I know it's a hard pill to swallow but that money she spent is gone and you won't be able to get it back. My STBX paid 6 figures of money I earned into paying her credit cards and still has debt in the 5 figures and I won't get a dime of it back. Maybe you can ask for a higher distribution of the marital assets if you can show proof all the money she spent on herself but thats a big maybe. Instead of fixating your thoughts on the money spent, I'd use the "careers" she had while married and use t…
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/23 06:22 AM
1

If you agreed on her staying in the house until the end of the school year then I'd let her stay rent free unless it was mentioned in the final decree that she would have to pay rent. It seems like a long time until the end of the school year but it's 5-6 more months. Divorces go on longer for that. I guess once she signs over the deed to you, you can do whatever you want as the house will be solely yours but probably can't kick her out because you agreed to let her live in the house until the e…
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/22 05:57 PM
3

Make sure you talk to lawyers that primarily work in your county. They'll know the judges well and how to make a plan depending on the judge assigned to your case. In TX it seems like most lawyers don't give the free initial consult so plan on paying 2-300 for the first consult. Make sure you have a list of questions and go over how they bill their clients. You can probably ask the admin for the attorneys hourly rate when you call to schedule the initial consult.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/22 06:17 AM
4

Don't co-mingle one cent of your assets. No joint accounts and do not buy a home together. Keep everything separate and keep documents of your financials before cohabitating so you can show what was yours. Also if you see red flags early on, RUN, don't be a deer staring at the headlights because your spidey senses are probably right if something is off.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/22 11:15 PM
9

It's interesting how some women think the same. Makes me think they have some secret website where they trade tips amongst each other to make our lives miserable and maximize their profit. My STBX would tell me I need to earn more money or find a job that pays more to support the family since I am a father with kids. If I was making minimum wage I would agree but I am earning enough where if she didn't grossly overspend we would be fine. I was supporting the family acquiring boatloads of debt wh…
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/22 06:43 PM
1

How long were you married? In Texas there is no alimony unless you were married for 10 years or more. Now there are some special circumstances like if she is disabled or have some other legit reasons for why she can't work and they may award spousal support. Also they can give her a favorable split of the assets if she can prove adultery so be careful. You have to disclose all your Financials in discovery so they can see if you're spending a lot on your GF. I wouldn't trust a word your STBXW say…
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/22 05:28 AM
6

Like everyone said, ask for half of all the assets. Even if you don't want to take it you can use it to negotiate with your STBX. Say you won't take half of the value of the house in return for no alimony. Don't show her your cards in the beginning of the game. Also get the judge to impute her income for example they calculate her earnings at $15 an hour for 40 hours per week since that's what seems like the starting pay is in CA for basic jobs.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/22 03:31 PM
3

If she tries to pick a fight, no matter how small, just leave the house for a few hours and get a receipt from wherever you go. Don't talk to her anymore. Preferably talk through texts or an app like whatsapp so everything is documented.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/22 12:47 AM
1

If no crime was committed, there may not be a police report. If this happens again, the police will probably be wary of your STBX. Did you get the police officer's name in case you need them to back up your story? Ask your attorney if you can use this in your Temp orders hearing saying she's trying to create false accusations and she's the one that needs to leave. Seems like she has the financial means to get an apartment. Also one lawyer I spoke to mentioned that you can take the kids anywhere …
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/22 10:19 PM
2

The judge can do whatever they want and force you to leave but if you can prove you're not a threat to her, pose as a danger to your children, and do not have the financial means to move out on your own I doubt they would force you to leave. You should only leave once the house is sold and you get your half of the equity. Good job on getting the camera footage of your wife mistreating the kids but it's going to probably take more than that to show that you would be a better parent. Do you take y…
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/22 05:46 PM
1

What is her reasoning for needing to have exclusive use of the home? Is there some imminent danger for her if you stay there? I doubt there is. What is your attorney's plan to tackle this? Do you have the financial means to get a place on your own? If not, say you can't afford to move out and say you're going to stay in the marital home. If she keeps on pushing then ask for support to move out. I think you're in TX so 1st/3rd/5th is by default what the non-primary custodial parent gets since the…
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/22 04:53 PM
2

Filing for bankruptcy will put the divorce on hold until the bankruptcy is settled. Bankruptcy is at the federal level and divorce is at the county level. Try to hold out on filing for bankruptcy until after the divorce if possible
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/22 02:41 PM
2

Once you file there are standing orders that take affect like you can't acquire unnecessary debt, closing accounts, making changes to accounts/beneficiaries, etc. If you had separate accounts prior to the divorce being filed, I don't think you have to give her access to any of your accounts. I'm not sure if you could take away access but maybe your account passwords were compromised *cough *cough and had to be changed or turn on 2 factor authentication for "enhanced security". I'd get her off yo…
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/22 05:59 AM
2

If she insists on keeping the house to herself then tell her you'll stop contributing to the mortgage. Then tell her the only thing both of you would get is a damaged credit report once the bank foreclose on it and see how she reacts.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/22 04:51 PM
3

I think we would need to know if you are on either the mortgage or deed. If you're not on either she may try to pull a fast one and say the down payment you put was a gift from you or lie and say she put the down payment. Do you have some kind of proof that you put the down payment like bank statements for the withdrawal of the down payment? I think if there is a large deposit on bank statements that are provided to get the loan, the bank will question it and ask where that came from. If you can…
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/22 02:02 AM
2

Talk to an attorney and File ASAP! In TX you would be on the hook for alimony if you were married for 10 years and she was incapable of earning any money. I think you would be on the hook for half of the duration of the marriage but she has to have some kind of disability or a good reason on why she can't work. If you make a lot of money then you will most likely have to provide some kind of support. If she's worked in the past then she's capable of working so the judge may say no to alimony if …
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 06:08 AM
2

Some civil servant's will not pay into social security and instead pay into a pension that they get after they retire from their civil service job. You may want to see if you are entitled to some of that. If she is part of a pension, then the 401K is something separate from that and you should be able to get some of it depending on how big your 401K is. If your 401K is larger than hers then you won't get anything but I'm guessing that since you make half as her, yours is not as large. If you hav…
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/22 03:08 PM
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