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lilac-hiraeth Archive

View 5 posts and 475 comments by lilac-hiraeth on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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117

That’s appalling.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 04:18 PM
714

All I can say from my own awful marriage, we’ve got one life, why spend a second of it in a miserable relationship? I regret not getting out of mine sooner because I felt that I had signed up for whatever came my way with my ex husband. Our duties are to ourselves first, others second. Live and learn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/21 01:57 PM
60

I always think it’s polite to be asked. It’s not that hard. “I would really like to kiss you, would that be okay?” Easy. It’s better then them being presumptuous or opportunistic. I had someone once say, finger pointed to the sky when there was lingering at the end of a conversation (we weren’t even dating) “Oh! You want this!” and grabbed the back of my head and kissed me. It was gross and probably one of the worst kisses I’ve ever experienced!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/21 01:03 PM
2

My ex husband went to India and came back with shirts that were beautiful but had swastikas stitched into them. He thought because they were Indian shirts everyone else could just “deal with it” and he liked the negative attention. It’s not just the tattoo community it’s the woke spiritualists too. And really, a lot of other communities who find this all worth their energy somehow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 01:02 PM
12

I enjoy giving them a lot. I’m fine with mutual oral sex as the majority of sexual contact in my relationships. Mutual is the key, the turn off isn’t the blowjob, it’s the man who doesn’t reciprocate. If he doesn’t go down then neither do I. And I don’t like giving them as an exchange, though I do expect the same level of investment in my sex life, I inherently enjoy doing it because I think it’s sexy and I’m good at them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/21 03:43 PM
70

As someone going through a divorce I recommend writing out ALL the reasons big and small why he wasn’t right for you, how he made you feel and the things he did and didn’t do for you and refer to it anytime you get nostalgic for the silver linings on a stormy relationship! Congratulations on your sock day!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/21 07:39 PM
32

So glad I never had to experience that energy growing up! Plus my mom never would have allowed it. She was a single mom because she wised up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 09:46 PM
64

She’s laughin’ to the bank, as Post would say.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 09:27 PM
7

Those are the few privileged sex workers. For every sex worker online there are dozens who are forced into it or feel they have no other options. I don’t know a single sex worker on the street who wants to do what they’re doing. If women could see the harm they perpetuate for the others…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 09:03 PM
34

Because it’s not about men. Once again the focus is on men’s bad behavior and women scrambling in a million different directions to mitigate it. Women need to learn to put themselves first. Heal their self esteem and gain access to the fact that their being is inherently precious and for their benefit only. Why can’t we profit off it? Firstly, for yourself. Really consider is doing sex work something that is healthy. It’s a yes or a no, and it’s a no. It is not healthy to put yourself on display…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 01:55 PM
36

I had a friend in university who watched a lot of porn. He only wanted to have sex with women who looked like air brushed porn stars. To his credit he’s only had sex with one woman once because his physical standards are…those that they are. But he leaves other women alone and is still kind to them (bare minimum).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 01:12 PM
3

Tattoos. Thousands of dollars worth of tattoos. Getting my divorce celebration tattoo next weekend!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 12:49 PM
3

I hear that! My city is FULL of pretentious artists and I’m like, yeah I like this one because someone dumped a pile of glitter in it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 12:29 PM
7

He was. Definitely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 10:35 PM
8

Yeah. Welp, gonna hit him with the block button tonight and see how long it takes this time. My point was that they always find a way back though. Like I’ll say no and block him but because he’s in a different country that’s about all I can do. He’ll find another way back.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 08:27 PM
3

Ugh no! My ex and I DO have matching tattoos and it brings me great petty joy. It’s not couple related so no one would know, but it’s his only tattoo because he hates them, and every time he sees it…well, it stands out. My same one will be incorporated into a much larger tattoo and won’t inherently stand out, but it doesn’t bother me one bit either way, because I got it for myself! I have many many many tattoos planned. Getting one next weekend! Woo!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 06:26 PM
16

The fuck?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 05:31 PM
18

I went to bed and now can’t find the post anymore. She did say she would be deleting the post to hide it from her husband so we’re in the same curious boat I’m afraid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 03:11 PM
34

She can speak to a lawyer, divorce him, use a child advocacy program to petition for supervised visitation for him, put her daughter in play therapy and start age appropriate sex ed yesterday. That said, good chance he won’t want to be involved with parenting anyway, dads seem to dip once divorce comes into play.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 03:08 PM
14

I wish blocking and deleting was final. As we all know certain men find ways around it time and again. It’s so frustrating. I haven’t blocked one person because he will reach out to my family, friends, exes, anyone who might be able to plead on his account to get me to talk to him. So I unblock him because he harasses people in and even out of my life. He’s from a different country and he’s just so persistent. I have no idea what to do so I just keep him on my social media and lay low, but ugh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 02:46 PM
66

As someone who loves art, I care what I hang at home. That’s reason enough I think. This guy sounds like a tool.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 02:40 PM
100

My ex husband was never interested in any of my hobbies or interests (art, dogs, swimming, body mods, fishkeeping), I could drag him through them but learned to enjoy them on my own or make friends involved in my hobbies instead. I spent a lot of time hiking with my dogs alone. Adopted two since I kicked his ass out! Meanwhile he forced me to participate in weekly board game nights with his shitty friends every weekend for like, 6 years straight. I always expressed how much I disliked board and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 01:02 PM
8

I don’t wear jewelry because I don’t like it much. My ex proposed with a ring that was about $2600. I only ever wore it at Christmas’s and our anniversary. For me a big ring isn’t a priority, it’ll never see the light of day. I’d prefer a $2600 tattoo proposal. Lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 12:53 PM
110

If he hasn’t already, he’s certainly proven that he’s considered it more than a few times. There isn’t a person on this planet I would risk damage to my daughter or sons for. No relationship, no awkward mental gymnastics, no excuses whatsoever. You grab your baby and you fucking leave him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 08:08 AM
177

Definitely. He’s expressing what’s running through his head obsessively enough to have 20 accounts to glorify it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 08:02 AM
266

Exactly! Even if she does, what will that accomplish?! If she’s thinking of confronting him she’s already rationalized that it’s something salvageable. It isn’t. It reminds me of that podcast episode that was referenced here recently of the two daughters who were abused by their step/father. The older of the two told her mother and she confronted him and he talked her down and she stayed with him only for him to go on to further sexually assault the other daughter. Like, hello?! Wake up! These a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 07:58 AM
640

I don’t know how this isn’t an immediate copy his content, email it to yourself and your family, print several copies off, pack up your kid and gtfo of there while waiting for lawyers. She says he’s not home! Get your shit, get your kid and get the hell out. It’s a no brainer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 06:51 AM
29

I have experienced this first hand. I’d take my chances facing them then I ever would with my back to them (I have an ankle injury due to my stbx husband and I can’t outrun a man, I’m working back up to casually jogging for exercise but it is a very measured process). If a man physically challenged me, I do not care. I can take it on the chin if I have to but he’s absolutely getting a ballsack full of my fucking teeth!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 04:30 AM
7

“I can be a bit reactive but I don’t like to fight….but if I have to I will.” Was arrested for “blacking out” and stabbing someone, got off with community service and in patient mental health treatment. I would like to not be your next someone, good sir.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 03:45 AM
3

My oldest son has had minimal religious influence in his life and is in private school for the first time ever (grade 7). He comes home regularly having his mind blown about the things he has to study in bible and science class. It’s really weird. My younger kids would identify as animist Christians (lol wut?!) and my oldest kid is a huge “Big A” ATHEIST!!!! who likes to learn about Indigenous culture from a historical pov and less emotional/spiritual one is very different from my own ways….so t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 07:35 PM
3

Brick wall. We can agree to disagree. No where did I say excuse MOC.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 07:25 PM
10

Private elementary was fun but switched to a new one in Jr. High. Long story short, I was the only brown kid in a very small school. Came to a head when in grade 8 they told me I could go to Mexico and “save the sinners” or I could continue to argue against it and lose a credit. We had to take Spanish class just for the missions trip. As an Indigenous person, this was absolutely not going to work. I was the school pariah from there on out. Literally everyone was so awful and racist and ignorant …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 07:21 PM
12

Attended co-Ed private school until highschool and it was awful. Attended co-Ed public schools in high school and had a blast. Wouldn’t have preferred an all girls school for any of it though. I enjoyed my male friends at that age.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 07:04 PM
3

LOL!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 06:49 PM
1

Yes, that’s called lateral violence. The focus should always be on just ending this kind shit. POC who perpetuate that minority groups bring this on or enable/enjoy these behaviors regardless of if theres a SMALL percentage who do, need to just be quiet. Racism in power play is never due to the receiver actually enjoying it, and even if that were the case it needs to end. It just brings more support to the poor behaviour from their community and outside of it when minorities throw up this back o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 06:16 PM
45

You mean, many POC are subjected to and endure racist and ignorant comments. Pretty sure it wasn’t her idea if she gave permission. Also as someone who was on the receiving end of “dead Indian” comments, it’s sometimes much safer to get through it without a lot of fuss. Regardless of what you think I think you’re disregarding a lot of why someone might present to be okay with this and your focus should be on the person being outwardly racist instead of the individuals dealing with internalized l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 05:08 PM
14

….what?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 04:46 PM
58

I’m so glad he said that before I actually drove out to meet him for dinner. I imagine I would have arrived at his restaurant and he would have had packed the sushi “to go….to this great (nude) spot in the woods”. Ugh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 04:40 PM
83

Literally he said that, like it was a totally normal thing to pitch to a woman who accepted an actual date. I read it and was just all “🙄💀🤡…..yeah. FDS, is right, this is the absolute bullshit I’m sick of.” He was the last guy I talked to on dating apps because I deleted them with that comment from him. Just, deleted them all and took myself out for all the coffee that was suggested to me that week from broke ass scrotes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 04:34 PM
30

I know of two close to home examples where exes of mine were proposed to by their girlfriends. I also know that they thought the gesture was nice and accepted but ultimately said they were fine “without ever getting married” (to her). One couple broke up, the other isn’t married years later and still no other life changes as they were living together for a few years already. Also, even men who do propose often do it for bullshit reasons like family/girlfriend pressure, having a child out of wedl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 04:20 PM
127

Yeah, so dude is broke, living at his parents while avoiding his own parenting duties (always blaming the mom) and throwing together a shack out of scrap. My homeless father does better ffs. Next guy that brings up that I’m Neechie, gonna take him to the Rez to work a moose hide in the dirt, heat and wasps as a date. That shit is nasty, hard, dirty work. Lol super sexy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 03:45 PM
332

I was talking to a scrote from the country and he wanted to take me on a date. He owned a sushi restaurant (its now closed) and said he’d like to invite me to dinner at his restaurant. I accepted the date offer. He seemed HV. Had a business, was building a eco friendly tiny home, but over the next few days he let all his red flags slip. Found out he was a single dad and he didn’t see his child. Found out his eco home was in the backyard of his parents house. Found out he didn’t plan his business…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 03:35 PM
36

The best thing my mom ever did was not date when she got divorced. She focused on her career and ladder climbed at work and makes absolute bank instead, and me and my kids benefit from her resolve to focus on her family all those years ago. I’m doing the same for my kids. There is nothing a man can give us that we cannot give ourselves! People like to retort that were going to die lonely cat ladies but we know we won’t be lonely because we won’t be in relationships where we feel alone, disrespec…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 03:22 PM
84

I’m currently reading “Men who hate Women” and I totally relate. I have been married and in several relationships over my life and looking back now, I could have done without every single one of them. The value those relationships brought served little more than entertainment with a lot of drama. I never really had a partnership even in my marriage. I was the breadwinner, I bought the house, I managed the kids, family trips were all organized by me, ect, so I know I can parent on my own with my …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 02:40 PM
82

Absolutely disgusting! Talk shit, get hit (with unemployment!) Also lol at his “undermines my work against racism”. Ya think?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 02:26 PM
1

We both know that’s a lie. Anyway, keep 69ing for that 420!
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/21 01:26 PM
1

So did I.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/21 01:34 AM
1

I can’t imagine being so bored with life that sex is the goal of my daily grind. Yawn.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/21 10:08 PM
13

It’s pretty much the only physical thing that matters to me, the rest of a man can look like almost anything and if I like his face then his body or height or blemishes don’t really bother me, I’ve been to all the physical extremes and all the stuff in between in the past.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 10:01 PM
1

I work with women, I’m on a women’s central board committee. I reunify women with their children and support them in community resources. I advocate for women’s rights and autonomy. Women can have families and still be feminists and still do well. Not sure what you’re getting at.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/21 09:58 PM
1

I have a family. I own my own house, I have all the best pets. Happy at my reliable well paying job. Free training and I facilitate conferences. Travel and have friends that are amazing! You can have it all as a woman. Sucks to be a man I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/21 09:02 PM
29

Absolutely VILE! It’s on par with those men who wear “if you’re dating my daughter” shirts. Men can stop sexualizing their daughters anytime please!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 07:04 PM
1

Crimson Chin is pretty hot, don’t blame him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 07:02 PM
39

I kind of get that. I don’t have a lot of physical preferences, very few, just don’t want a bald guy because my ex was and even though I don’t inherently dislike bald looks (often I do think they look good) I just know I’ll just see my ex husband when I see the back of his head! I’m attracted to short, tall, thin, athletic, chubby, straight up obese men if I like their face….BUT I am very picky about how they style themselves and their music interests (these are my attraction niches). I like em …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 06:39 PM
26

The wheels were turning. He tried to back it up by bringing up “weird homemade. Homemade is okay, right?” Lol no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 05:56 PM
6

Can’t hear you. It’s purge week.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/21 05:54 PM
23

He actually wasn’t the worst with his response. He asked “what about homemade…” and then didn’t interrupt my soap box moment about the damage porn does to self, relationships and communities. He never argued or made me feel invalidated but I mean, he didn’t say he would reconsider his porn use either lol. Call it a draw.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 05:51 PM
7

Also stfu! You’re not entitled to open your mouth and whine.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/21 05:03 PM
4

Neither
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/21 04:29 PM
54

Talked to a guy recently who wanted to be flirty with me and he asked about likes/goals/dealbreakers, ect. I said “I’m weird about porn” and he goes “oh, don’t worry, I watch weird shit too!” I follow up with “I mean, I don’t watch any at all and consider it a dealbreaker if my partner does.” That burst his little bubble.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 04:21 PM
1

Omg, men think they’re entitled too, you’re absolutely brain dead if you don’t think men think they’re not entitled to everything they want. “No fat chicks. Blondes only. Big titties required! Porn style blowjobs, facials and spitting on you while I grind my heel into your face sex or gtfo!!!” For what it’s worth, pretty sure women are waking up to the fact that they’re better off single and happy anyway. Y’all throw around cat ladies like that’s somehow worse than being with the majority of men…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/21 03:42 PM
2

Yawn.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/21 03:23 PM
2

I am strong and independent, I kicked my lazy game addicted useless, unemployed husband out this year. Bought my own house, raising and supporting the kids on my own, have ladder climbed in my career, can also knock a bitch out if I have to. Men need to stop whining that they’re the victims when they victimize themselves and also women. Idgaf about men’s issues because they are created by men, for men, not by women. Also based on your comments men endure but they don’t thrive and they apparently…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/21 02:56 PM
2

Not a small subset group. Thanks anyway bud.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/21 02:38 PM
1

Then I suggest you take it up with other men. As a woman who doesn’t sit in the demographic of sex that wants to beat others down because they’re small minded and small dicked I’m going to go ahead and continue speaking against violence towards women (which in case you can’t figure out would also address violence towards men perpetuated by other men). 🤡
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/21 02:04 PM
1

Sorry, I really don’t give a fuck what someone who calls themselves “kinky ho 69 420” says. Lmao!
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/21 01:44 PM
2

You realize the vast majority of murderers and perpetuators of violence are men, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/21 01:41 PM
3

Get over it
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/21 06:22 AM
1

I don’t know what the blue pill is but it sounds stupid as fuck.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/21 06:22 AM
4

Lame! I might not attract some complete loser I don’t want to be with anyway! Anyway, nobody cares, get over it.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/21 06:10 AM
7

I imagine it is, it usually pops up whenever pathetic, ugly, men, are around. Especially if they’re short and bald.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/21 06:00 AM
5

Clearly. Your dick is dry as the Sahara.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/21 05:38 AM
12

Ah! Systemic violent oppression vs. not getting your sad, gross, deflated pp wet. chefs kiss
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/21 05:33 AM
1

Even still, men SHOULD assume women want to be with hot men. Like just assume that as default. I don’t see why men would not just default to that train of thought even if women don’t admit it. You think they’re shallow because they want hot guys. They think you’re shallow because you want hot women. Everyone’s shallow. The end.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/21 05:22 AM
288

So, during my open marriage I dated a guy who told me the story of his prior marriage(was divorced). I asked about his ex wife and he told me that he met her at work and after shift she and another female coworker of theirs asked him for a ride. During the drive he asked out THE OTHER COWORKER but his ex wife jumped on it and accepted even though the invite wasn’t for her. So he took her out, they eventually got married, had kids, got divorced after 16 years. He told me he was NEVER physically a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 04:53 AM
18

No man, I’m lost in so many dog and kid snuggles. Frankly a man can’t compete with either, so, keep your sauce to yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 04:48 AM
1

Being hot and having a good personality are definitely important.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/21 02:01 AM
1

Are dudes too dumb to realize women want hot guys? Or…?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/21 01:29 AM
1

Yes, because only women are guilty of being shallow! 🙄
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/21 01:08 AM
-1

All the same, it’s her prerogative to seek out who she’s attracted you just as you are. If short guys aren’t for her then they aren’t for her.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/21 08:59 PM
92

Omggg!!! 😭💖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 06:27 PM
45

Chi-Miigwetch!! ☺️💖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 06:07 PM
3

What? Pretty sure your post is a judgement on women who have had a lot of sex with different people. Otherwise you could have said “no woman seems interested in me, what’s wrong with me?” Except we know nothing about you.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/21 04:53 PM
1

We admit it. Y’all just cry about it and tell us we’re evil because we want a conventionally attractive partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/21 04:51 PM
6

“What was done wrong?!?!” Nothing, she has a preference you don’t meet. Carry on.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/21 04:34 PM
218

I don’t even have to make chore charts for my children! They see something that needs to be tidied, and they do it. Definitely not getting some shiny stickers and a chart for a grown ass man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 03:30 PM
53

I get such a mixed bag of messages from men because of my comments here. The large majority of the messages are polite, understanding and curious but there are rare odd ones are looking to instigate negative attention. I just wanted to throw it out that for every negative comment, I get a dozen more that aren’t, so, even men know men are up to bullshit because overwhelmingly I’ve gotten very kind messages. Guys that have nothing better to do than to go out of their way to put down women are so t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 01:41 PM
15

“I love you because you make me feel normal.” Next.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 04:13 AM
60

Worst is when they light up all their trauma bombs on date two to hook you in for sympathy but it’s just pathetic. Ew. The last four guys who wanted to date me unloaded all their life trauma at my feet looking for some no effort fawning and easy sex. Nah. To me it shows you haven’t cleaned up your mess, no matter how it came to be. One guy told me how much his mom abused him as a child, he was her “roommate” and told her to “fuck off” in front of me while she was expressing concern to him after …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 04:10 AM
76

Guys are so low effort it’s amazing. Flowers are so easy to get and bouquets in the $40-70 range are beautiful and don’t break the bank, buy them for yourself! I love flowers and it’s always a favourite thing to receive so when I kicked my husband out I bought my daughter a huge bouquet because I want her to know to never tolerate less than her mother will give her. I also buy my girlfriends and mother flowers as much as I can too because I love them and there are no excuses to waste the love I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 03:21 AM
40

If you don’t tolerate it you’ll have time to actually find a reliable social life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/21 05:46 PM
112

I adopted a dog two months ago who was abused by men because I have ten years experience with reactive dogs (my last was a Shepherd that died because of my exes negligence) and she barks at every man walking by so, it also helps. I actually got her because my ex husband was breaking into my house and my other dog knew him and didn’t alert me. I live in a rough neighborhood so two big dogs is a good idea, but a man reactive dog (not aggressive, but reactive) is a big bonus for me when I’m walking…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/21 04:06 AM
1

I’m feeling that! Lol 💖
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/21 02:37 AM
59

I can smell the desperation through the screen. Smells like bullshit!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/21 01:11 AM
2

Yeah, that’s okay. I don’t actually want to “find a guy”. I’m happily getting out of a 17 year marriage. :) 🎉 Eta: and many women think fat guys with tiny dicks are a dealbreaker as it is. I’ll live. Also there was no advice given lol…just personal dealbreakers. So…?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/21 12:57 AM
481

Standing there politely listening them ramble about nothing I care about! I live in a high foot traffic area and sit outside with my dogs and coffee often. Now if some guy stops at my fence to chit chat I tell them I need to go in and finish my movie with my husband (even though I’m single af). I do this so they think I’m still married and leave without coming by again or at the very least they assume I have a scrote inside.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/21 12:54 AM
2

Being too fat to perform. My last prospect was fat (not a dealbreaker for me) but paired with a tiny dick, sex was a one and done, don’t call me again situation. But there are so many reasons FOR ME, really I have a huge list for me, this was just the latest example.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/21 07:00 PM
35

The potential to be a person is not the same as being a person…but this fact eludes those pro-life critical thinkers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/21 04:24 PM
6

I’ve thought a bit about this too. 17 years together and three kids. The relationship crashed and burned, and I can only imagine he absolutely must have despised me. I cope by realizing that that fact, gives me freedom not to dwell on what I did wrong. It gives me freedom to let it go. It gives me freedom to not wallow in heartache. He didn’t love me, his loss. No one wants to get divorced, no one wants their kids to have a broken family, no one is happy to feel that facade ripped away and the g…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/21 03:51 PM
7

She sounds like a complete tool.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/21 03:47 PM
8

I don’t know how you’re linking a global sexist industry of abuse against women with women masturbating?! My vibrator isn’t sending droves of young men into trafficking, violent, groomed sex slavery lifestyles against their will.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 03:29 PM
29

Seriously. It’s the worst. On evenings where it’s just me at home and the kids are elsewhere for dinner, it’s a can of chickpeas in rice (and sometimes broccoli) with some kind of sauce. The end.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 02:20 PM
81

The only closure you need is that he didn’t want to be with you, and was never the right person for you. There’s your closure. If anything his pathetic online post about how no one is making out with him (male tears) should bolster your resolve that he never cared about you past his point of make out convenience and he’ll settle for ANYONE. You’re better than that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 01:25 PM
12

A lack of accountability.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 12:58 PM
9

Call their bluff because at the end of the day you need to get out of an abusive relationship no matter the cost. If you want to play into their drama or are genuinely concerned and have the time and safety to do so call the police on your way out for emergency services for him but still be on your way out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 12:56 PM
5

All I could think of while watching this was scientists watching an animal discovering rudimentary tools for the first time. Lmfaooo!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 12:46 PM
15

Yep! Plus small dicks are not fun for the majority of women. Pair that with other factors like his weight, fitness, flexibility and sex can be an absolute chore. When I was seeing people in my open marriage I had three specific instances with guys with small dicks and it was always the worst time ever. Two were overweight guys and one was very fit but they all sucked regardless. I like all body types but if he’s a big guy with a small dick sex is impossible, comical in a bad way and fully unsati…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 12:44 PM
127

A mall?!?! Omfg is he actually 12? Sounds like 12 year old boys planning a date. Nothing more romantic than having shitty mall coffee with the senior mall walkers and snotty nosed kids in Spencer’s laughing at cheap sex toy gags. Ew.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 12:36 PM
16

That’s a lot of words to say “fuck off”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 12:33 PM
107

I loathe cooking. I do it, but I hate every minute of it. There isn’t a man on earth I’ll go out of my way to cook for, in fact in future relationships if cooking isn’t an interest of his I don’t want him because someone. needs to do the cooking, and it isn’t me. It was the only thing my stbx husband did that I miss and the only noticeable difference since I kicked him out is that now I have to cook.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 12:30 PM
1

Yeah, but that’s assuming all parents want to be involved with more kids outside of their own, even in passing. I love my kids but I do not like kids in general, I have very low tolerance and interest for other peoples kids. I simply would not be in a relationship with a single parent with dependent kids. I prefer a relationship with a man with no kids, but if he does they are grown and living their own lives as it’s my prerogative. Everyone is entitled to have their preferences. Also, personall…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/21 09:23 PM
1

Just that someone has deemed the most acceptable partner to a single parent to be another single parent, based solely on the fact that both have children. Like….no. lol forever.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/21 08:30 PM
1

Well, you don’t know my attitude since I haven’t answered any of your questions. I am currently getting divorced after 17 years. I also do not expect anyone outside of myself and their father to raise my children. I allowed very minimal interaction between my exes and my kids because they were not serious relationships. I do not entertain serious relationships at this time, nor will I until my children are adults and moved out. I likely will not remarry. I certainly won’t marry anyone with depen…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/21 07:30 PM
121

This is why I refused to give up my career to be a stay at home parent. I bought my house on my own, I have very little debt (and it’s shared marital debt that will be halved in the divorce) and I work a reliable full time job. When my stbx husband asked for a divorce I kicked him out with everything he owned, a computer. Hilarious side note. My ex asked for a divorce and then went on to say “I guess one of us will have to move out…” and I burst out laughing, like I literally could not stop myse…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 06:36 PM
-1

As a single parent, I’m never dating another single parent. Lol. Would rather be single for life than to be raising someone else’s kids. That’s said, my last two boyfriends were men who didn’t have kids and they were great with what interaction I allowed between them and mine.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/21 05:40 PM
18

I feel that in my soul.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 03:31 PM
20

No one looks thrilled to see her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 03:28 PM
16

Nope!! Open relationships are trash. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 03:27 PM
5

You need to build your community. Find a women’s shelter and move in. Volunteer, get to know the staff. If you can then contact a social worker they can open a case file and help you with resources like finding housing, food supports, mental health support, healing/counseling/support groups, addictions treatment if needed, domestic abuse resources and more. When my dad was homeless he volunteered every day at the shelter he was staying at, it ensured he had a strong community and a place to stay…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 03:26 PM
18

Calling women “girls” has always been a huge pet peeve of mine.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 02:23 PM
41

What about their lives is he so interested in? Why is he invested in their lives at all, they don’t know he exists. He’s full of shit. How many male models does he follow because their lives are so engaging?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 05:11 PM
17

That’s how you do it!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 05:10 PM
34

Yes! I hadn’t been sleeping well lately and yesterday I told him off, and last night was the first night in about two weeks I slept the whole night through. Absolute relief to get rid of him and next time I’m in this situation won’t wait, peace of mind is so much better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 03:36 PM
11

Congratulations!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 03:27 PM
229

He sounds disgusting. If he’s the head of a charity I’d let the board know that he’s acting inappropriately with the public and possible constituents and let them address it as a group. ETA: your edit made me laugh OP! I had an ex who would say similar and also: “I wish I wasn’t so beautiful, then maybe people would take me seriously!” LOLOLOL!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 03:26 PM
145

I straight up shut down my art collaboration with the guy who is interested in me romantically. He kept trying to derail the work, kept showing up unannounced to “help” and he wanted daily off topic conversation. I didn’t have time or energy for any of that. I told him to find another illustrator, to not come by anymore and blocked him everywhere. Not worth it at all. I can draw for fun on my own.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 01:34 PM
7

Very low value. And pathetic. If he loved her he wouldn’t have done it in the first place. You don’t commit to someone you don’t love. He didn’t commit to her because….he never loved her!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 01:05 PM
6

Sadly by the time I found out it was too late. What he actually did was steal my credit card I had for emergencies (so it was stored and I literally never touched it once) and spent it online on video game items. Since it was in my name and they were online purchases I was on the hook for them. He didn’t pay anything off and the debt was sold to collections so it ruined my credit. That’s not even the worst part. The worst part is the way I found out. It was last October. My absolutely beautiful …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 12:38 PM
167

It’s not even starting how she wants it to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 04:26 AM
38

I’m in the same boat. Divorcing and raising a daughter. I absolutely will not be dating or allowing a rotation of men in and out of my children’s lives. My daughter is 8, so in ten years she’s an adult but she may still be living at home after she turns 18 for a while, who knows. By the time I start considering another relationship I will be 45, and will have hopefully just become or will shortly thereafter be a empty nester. I’m not sure if at that point in my life I’ll want to shuffle around a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 02:45 PM
502

My ex boyfriend was proposed to by his girlfriend about 5 years in and he said yeah. 3 years later she still doesn’t have a ring and they’re not married, still renting their apartment and talking about “maybe having a kid one day”. He’s almost 40. Nope.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 04:45 AM
53

My ex husband was so efficient at getting me off. Every single time until they last few times we had sex. He did all the same stuff but I was so mentally not into it I just didn’t feel a thing. I knew I didn’t love him and I knew he didn’t love me and the sex had gone from the best sex to the worst sex in a week. Ew.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 03:18 AM
59

Once the relationship is over, bury the fuck out of it! The only reason I have contact with my ex husband is because we have kids. No amount of sentimental bullshit or dissection necessary…because it literally doesn’t change the fact that he was a season that’s over! For better or worse (and it’s definitely for better).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 11:06 PM
196

My actual lived experience! 🤡🤡🤡 To be fair, he stole my money behind my back but I knew he wasn’t working when I saw that new PC roll in. Hobosexuals are the worst kind of parasite. I’ll never be with a man who doesn’t spoil me again. What’s the point? As far as running a household, much easier without a man in it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 07:31 PM
30

Open relationships are toxic as hell, I do not recommend at all for so, so, so many reasons. I would never have one again and was in one for 17 years. This long distance guy doesn’t expect me to be his partner though. We’ve had this set up for 6 years. I don’t send nudes to him, I don’t sext him. I sometimes video chat him once every 6 weeks and mostly it’s us just venting about our personal lives and work, or about my divorce. It’s a weird dynamic but I don’t question it. He asks almost nothing…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 06:20 PM
39

I have actually had a partner like this. Sent money whenever I wanted no questions asked. It was pretty sweet. He obviously had other red flags (mainly “dating” me in an open marriage and also being long distance) but this was pre FDS, and I was in my open marriage so it was more a playful time sink than a real relationship. I was getting spoiled. Nails, make up, tattoos, shoes, piercings, regularly. He still pays my cell phone bill even though we don’t chat (much) anymore (he’s long distance in…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 05:42 PM
231

Cabs and the like are no longer safe ways for women to get home. I had a cab driver pick me up once and he had recognized me from an online dating app. Sadly when you book a cab here you have to give the destination to the dispatch so he already had my home address. The whole time he talked about why I blocked him and wanted to “get to know me”. He drove past my house to a dead end street and by a park and asked if I wanted to get in the front seat with him. I refused. He whined and poured and w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 05:21 PM
114

If he’s so offended he should break up with her, but he won’t because that means NO ONE is going to have sex with him, condom or not, so here he is to pout online! Wah.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 05:13 PM
138

Yep. He ain’t lying!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 05:11 PM
79

I lost weight and ended up at a house party just before covid was a concern. I found myself getting hit on a lot and by men who I had known in passing at house parties for like ten years already, they just didn’t recognize who I was. I was embarrassed for them. I had seen them over the years and knew who they were, some I knew where they worked, who their exes were, ect ect, they apparently hadn’t seen me at all but now wanted my attention. Very awkward for everyone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 05:09 PM
51

Me too! Hahaha!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 04:06 AM
2

Doesn’t have a job. Doesn’t have savings. Doesn’t drive. Can’t cook. Wants to have kids (I have my own already and I am done). Doesn’t like/want pets. Doesn’t go down on me. Plays video/tabletop games. Is Poly or wanting a non monogamous relationship. Bad at gift giving. Misogynistic attitudes. Racist/classist, overly political or religious.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/21 10:25 PM
43

Document any and all damages to self and property, time stamped and email them to yourself in a separate account just for that. You’ll have a timeline and physical proof of ongoing abuse if necessary. Record fights if possible. This is what I did in the last year of my marriage. Now that we’re divorcing I’ve sent the pictures to everyone I needed to know to get everyone in the know and to help keep an eye out for me, or on his families side to encourage him to not reach out to me to make things …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 03:14 AM
21

She was super sweet, I watched her unhook her little loopers at the end of her set and shove them into her case, caught her as I was coming back in after my friend had a smoke outside. He’s still one of my favourite friends and he and I both have fairly eccentric taste in music and we were arguing about her work. He wasn’t a fan and I looked him dead in the eyes and said “she’s going to blow up, you have no idea.” He owes me a drink! Lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 02:59 AM
14

Oblivion was one of my favourite songs of hers! I think she’s finding out pretty quick that he’s a dick!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 02:56 AM
67

I met Grimes in 2010 at a tiny local pub and she was so sweet and lovely. We chatted in the foyer of the building and I purchased two CDs she had drawn the art for and burned of her personal computer. Sad to see that her relationship wasn’t what she deserved.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 12:11 AM
107

So she takes fingertips of icing to his lips and he gets to brick her in the head with a tiered cake that almost knocks her over, makes a huge mess for others to clean up and wastes a ton of money, her dress, hair, makeup, wedding and dignity? Just to challenge her playful banter. 100% if she knew that would be his reaction she never ever would have done it. Hope she divorces him and his man bun ASAP. What a piece of shit excuse of a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 05:08 PM
11

For real. You can just smell them a mile away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 03:23 PM
84

I totally agree. Get your stained graphic tshirt away from me and cut your neckbeard so you have something to paste on your bald spot. Fuck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 06:07 AM
45

How absolutely miserable and brain dead does someone need to be to find any of this amusing? They definitely know one of their kind when they see him. I also need to know who raised these absolute depraved jackasses….if I was one of their parents I’d be so absolutely ashamed that I ever took a single breath on gods green earth. You cannot love pure hate, even if you grew, birthed and raised it. If my kids ever turned out like these men, there would be no grace.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 06:03 AM
19

There’s a lot I could say to this post, but I’ll simply say, being a woman and raising a daughter is absolutely terrifying from birth until death when it comes to men. Nothing is sacred. Again, why no man is entering my house when I have my children living here and ALSO why consent and boundaries and sexual education is a huge kitchen table topic in my home and with my parenting style.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 05:56 AM
5

Chi Miigwetch! I appreciate all the women here so much you have no idea. There isn’t a post on here where I don’t appreciate the sentiments even if they don’t directly apply to me because I feel everyone here is building and sharing for the betterment of all women as a whole! I treasure you so much and am glad you’re here for my learning and growth too. Thank you for the kind words!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 05:44 AM
81

Yes, let’s keep investing in these shit sandwiches who only care about their dicks. 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 01:18 AM
51

Elevate the men who make more and still beat us? Wut? Nah. A guy that can’t manage the most simple of life’s tasks doesn’t deserve the life support.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 01:13 AM
42

It’s too bad men can’t just take a woman’s word for it, like, it’s not like rape is some achievement we’re all looking to flaunt about. Fuck. But, yeah, break it down with another mans input on women’s issues instead of just listening to the voices of women sharing their trauma instead.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 06:40 PM
47

I feel like hearing what his exes complaint was about and then immediately feeling like you’re agreeing with her is your glowing red flag. Not compatible. Move on. Block and delete. Case closed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 04:50 PM
8

Yes. Divisions in the divisions. It’s so insidious and layered and convoluted. We don’t want to empathize with the people in our community struggling more than we are because we’re all trying to get out of the boiling water. My brother often makes racist comments about indigenous issues because he just doesn’t want to associate with all the challenges so he defaults to “othering” Indigenous people and interests. I know it’s because he has his own issues with his cultural identity and heritage bu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 03:37 PM
7

Chi Miigwetch! It’s so nice to hear that it makes a difference to share my story and that someone like you can see it and take something from it! I have a lot of gratitude for the women in the sub who show me that we’re all here for similar reasons, and that’s to support each other regardless of our diversities and to celebrate each other’s success, because it’s a success for all of us as a whole! 💖🪶💖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 03:31 PM
3

He waited two whole weeks?! Damn! Someone grab that celebratory cake for him and his next lucky lady! Two weeks ladies! Even his mom stands by him! You cannot go wrong with this one! 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 04:21 AM
21

Chi-Miigwetch! I really appreciate it. My culture is built on stories and so is our healing so it’s really nice to know that there are so many great people out there working to change things for the betterment of everyone! It means a lot when I get positive feedback! 💖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 03:59 AM
73

When my divorce is finalized I’m selling my engagement ring strictly for tattoo money! 🎉
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 03:15 AM
75

Oh my god! JUST LEAVE! It’s really that simple! Hindsight is 20/20, she’ll learn the hard way. There is no need for any competition for a man, ever. Romantic relationships are a dime a dozen by most peoples standards and not worth any of this bullshit. The more I read other people misery about their romantic and sexual relationships the happier I am that I am not building my life around them anymore. What an utter waste of energy and self.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 03:13 AM
3

Abuse is a trickle down effect. It’s not like these men go from nothing to punching women in the face. They appear functional and nice and loving as anyone else in a new relationship. It starts slowly and under the guise on miscommunication, or being overly protective or some other manipulative tactic and escalates from there. It’s why so many women you know have been in abusive situations but men don’t know any men who abuse women. They hide it, they isolate their victims and they perpetuate ho…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/21 10:37 PM
245

One time I let a man walk by me! He and his buddy pushed me in between two apartment buildings, leaned up against me and threatened to cut my hair off! Another time I got groped! Another time I got punched in the face, had my glasses broken and fall into the river and my money demanded. Another time I got stalked home while he berated me. Another time I got harassed for my phone number while trying to keep his hands off me. Another time I got told “the sisters are coming for your ass” because he…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 10:11 PM
20

“Get rid of him” is what one of my best friends said when I was first entering my separation with my stbx husband. It always reverberates in my head louder than ANY doubt or sentimental thoughts I ever have. GET RID OF HIM OP!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 09:38 PM
42

It’ll only get worse and sex, romantic effort and health will only decline, and these things are HUGE in a relationship. If he’s not constantly working to keep you, then why are you constantly working to jump through mental gymnastics deciding if he’s worth being kept?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 09:35 PM
18

They’ll make you pay for the coffee date! Haha!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 09:31 PM
58

You can treat them like a king and they’ll still shit all over you in the end. I’d rather funnel all that energy into myself!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 09:27 PM
3

It really is mind blowing. I’ve had my feminism discredited because of my previous relationships. So not only do I lose my Indigenous communities I get to lose the sisterhood of protective women, because in my reality it’s hit faster and harder then the men and women around you, as quietly as you can, and then brush it off and go to work like nothing ever happened. My high value man might also have to have a very protective streak which we know straddles a line and is potentially problematic, be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 07:47 PM
45

Very much both. Lateral violence is rampant in the communities (we’re all dogs backed in a corner), but it is absolutely ensured by violence against Indigenous women from outside of the community.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 07:10 PM
23

My go to, is always to study the history and people of the land you live on, and the history and people who built it from the ground up. How does this help WOC and Indigenous women? Basically it boils down to how dehumanizing Indigenous people (savages) and other POC as a whole, trickled down into lateral violence from the men outside and inside their community. If the men of their community don’t respect and protect then certainly more privileged men can do even worse without reprimand. If Whit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 07:07 PM
3

Yep. Absolutely. Their historical and generational trauma doesn’t exist. Our historical and generational trauma lives in our blood, it’s celebrated with holidays, it’s made into statues, it’s rewritten in books. Our pain is their entertainment. “But that happened forever ago! Get over it!” No, no it didn’t, my grandma who was in Residential School just passed away a few years ago. My dad who was stolen and broken up from his siblings and parents is very much still alive. The last Residential Sch…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 06:52 PM
126

This is worded beautifully. My community has a whole subdivision of Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women who get rugswept DAILY. My aunt is one of those MMIW…she will never be looked for. No one knows her name. But she’s just as real to me as Gabby is to her family. It’s often preached here that women shouldn’t engage men in arguments and fights, and I agree, but as an Indigenous woman who lives in a neighborhood built on the fringes of lateral violence you better BELIEVE if a man comes at me, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 06:37 PM
4

100%! Absolutely. Performative is the key word. It’s easy to go to a rally and then hit up your nail salon and hair appointment the next day, patting yourself on the back, while those same people live that rally every single day. My prior career was training foster parents on Indigenous cultural competency (NINETY PERCENT of kids in care are indigenous across my province) and reuniting children to their bio families. I remember a supervisor (white man) was complaining about a project I was strug…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 06:20 PM
28

So far, I’m feeling that. He’s interested in me romantically and has been seriously looking for a job (only since meeting me), he’s done favours and given me gifts, I accept them because he insists to the point of arguing and it’s just fucking easier, I have no interest in doing that back and forth “you really should not” dance with someone who won’t listen anyway. I offered nothing but the truth to him, that we aren’t friends (literally verbatim! He replied: “so if we weren’t working on this pr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 06:06 PM
36

I’m not dating for roughy ten years I estimate since that’s when my kids will be adults and it’ll definitely be a different world!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 05:49 PM
41

He blames it on having autism, which, fair enough but he is bombastic and crass, and certainly invested where he ought not be. Even with autism there are just some things you know not to say in polite company, and I keep track.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 05:41 PM
4

Thanks! I will definitely give this all a good read over! It’s piqued all my curiosities!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 05:03 PM
8

Again, I completely agree. I’m Canadian but the same runs deep here, especially in libfem camps. Thin, white, women who just, don’t even know the history of the land they live on, and what it meant to be displaced and decimated by colonizers and their systems, how long and deep the racism runs in these countries. But they fail to see where misogyny is a sliding scale that still places them far about the plights of other women who are not in those beauty and class categories. Of course POC and In…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 05:01 PM
30

I definitely will scrap it out with a guy on anything I disagree with. I do it for my own personal entertainment though, not because I think they are reasonable. It helps me build my debating skills for the workplace and doesn’t exhaust my female friends. I’ve also been in physical fights with men, but those were defensive. Still, I turn down no fights, that’s the direct result living in survival mode on account of men. It’s just habit now, and outside of physical attacks, I certainly enjoy the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 04:56 PM
60

He just awkwardly laughed and then asked if he could cook me dinner sometime. Ugh. Take a hint bro! Once I get this artwork done I’ll smack him with a hard hitter and block him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 04:49 PM
13

I completely agree with you! POC have very different societal standards of when and where urgency of their safety is applied to their plights. It is absolutely not on par! I’ve also had a lot of people, take issue with my pointing out that a lot of priorities in this sub and others are whitewashed in their ideologies, priorities and life experiences and while I can appreciate a lot of it I do not always relate or it’s simple not applicable in my life because of other barriers. I’ve also had a lo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 04:44 PM
139

Omg I had the same situation, bald and all with my ex husband. Men who aren’t working are THE MOST unattractive men. What absolute sacks of shit to sit around and try to manipulate women into taking care of them. A guy who liked me quipped LAST NIGHT, after I complimented something he was working on (art collaboration), “well, I bet you just want me to move in already!” I SCOFFED in his face. I replied, “no, I’d only live with a man who had purchased and paid off a bigger and better house than m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 04:39 PM
4

What’s your type?! I have so much to learn!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 04:29 PM
8

ENTP-T(urbulant). Well, that makes sense: never tried this before. Wish I had time to read up on the other types to compare.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 04:09 PM
23

What the actual fuck?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 03:52 PM
10

Yep, I got stealthed in a position change. :( When I asked him what happened he straight up told me he took it off when I wouldn’t notice. He literally didn’t care at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 05:59 PM
161

Not to accept low effort dates. Low effort dates are provided by low effort men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 05:40 PM
31

Sounds like my dad wrote it! In my community there’s a lot of “dad issues”. Lots of jokes about absentee fathers, almost an expectation that if you’re Indigenous your dad wasn’t around when you were growing up. Lots of lateral violence and intergenerational trauma he never worked through to be a present father. We even have Indigenous specific programs for fathers here to try to get them to maintain care and responsibilities of their children. “Fatherhood is Forever”. My dad is like the wind. He…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 04:41 PM
99

I’m thinking through all of my relationships and none of them were marriage material.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 03:48 PM
5

I already got rid of one house husband and I will never entertain that shit ever again!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 11:55 AM
9

There is an edit about the title but the dismissive plight of women who don’t fall into the slender, white, well off woman category is completely obliterated with this kind of thinking. I think conventionally attractive women and every other woman deals with much of the same, men as a whole aren’t that discerning when it comes to harassing women regardless of preferences in relationships.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 09:27 PM
38

”bUt We’Re ViSuAl By NaTuRe. We CaN’t HeLp It!” 🤡🤡🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 05:27 PM
152

Yeah, for real. I’ve already decided I’m not even going to look for a relationship until my kids are grown and moved out. These next ten years are for me and my kiddos. One guy showed up and cleaned up my backyard unprompted. I was annoyed he let himself on my property without asking but yeah, thanks I guess. You’re still not moving in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 03:43 PM
78

And not clean it after.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 02:56 PM
31

Ew! Greasy bacon beards!!! 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 02:54 PM
263

Hahaha! Gross! Since I kicked my ex husband out THREE men have invited themselves to live with me and help with the kids and the house. None of them had any money. Surprise surprise! Free sex and housing and an empty house 8 hours a day…to look at your ugly mug when I get home from work? These men on drugs. Haha.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 02:51 PM
45

My ex used viagra in our open marriage because he simply could not get it up with women otherwise. Never used it with me but even his body knew what bullshit open relationships are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 02:49 PM
51

LOL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 02:47 PM
282

They really really exist! I had a guy ask me to be in a relationship with him so he could “move in and help with the house”. No thanks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 02:41 PM
18

Is it really a competition though? I’m not conventionally attractive but I think that means men harass me because they think I’m easy, desperate for validation and treat me with disregard because “no one will believe/care anyway about you being assaulted”. I don’t think these kind of comparisons are good, one is not worse or better, being a woman in a mans world sucks no matter what when it comes to interacting with them socially.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 02:36 PM
13

Definitely! That should be the default. Unless the woman wants to work, which I absolutely did. I did not want to stay home and be the homemaker at all. He happily stayed home and I happily kept working. I stayed home the two months to recover and then we switched. I have PCOS so couldn’t breastfeed anyway so that wasn’t anything that came into play, but even then I would have gone back to work and pumped.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 02:28 PM
24

Me too! dials Ethiopian veggie platter take out. 😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 02:23 PM
60

Being a homemaker and raising kids is hard as fuck. I knew I wouldn’t be cut out for it, paired with being a workhorse and making enough to support a family of 5 where he didn’t really ever prioritize his job, it was a no brainer. These double standards about staying home to take care of children are so toxic. It is simply a demanding, thankless, isolating position to be in, and women more often than not bare that responsibility alone, and then are expected to take care of their husbands when th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 02:20 PM
42

I went to India and MY GOD the food was incredible! I miss those potatoes from that woman in Hampi. You’re right, eating a variety of ethnic foods is also where it’s at! So many options.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 02:16 PM
78

This is why I made my ex husband be the stay at home parent. I had a great job I wasn’t giving up. Then he decided he just didn’t need a job after they’d been in school full time for years. On the way out of the marriage he said “after all I did to support you!!!!” And I laughed, couldn’t help but laugh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 02:08 PM
62

I’m not even vegan. I just like good food, and vegan food is damn good and I find has a more varied and exploratory composition than meat based diets.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 02:03 PM
131

Not quite the same situation but at a company dinner I was seated with two of my coworkers and their husbands (assigned seating) and when my vegan plate arrived they berated me with questions and arguments about veganism the whole time about it while their wives awkwardly and uncomfortably watched it unfold. Like, vegetables trigger you that much bro? Need a tag team about your sausage party? Cool. They’re both divorced from those men now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 01:16 PM
41

I like how he’s acting like that’s a threat.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 01:08 PM
19

SCROOOOTE!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 09:15 PM
-28

He’s far away now. I have kids, I’m not chasing him down for sure. Just waiting for him to show up. It’s been 4 years and he’s remarried now, but I’m still hanging onto that engagement ring just in case.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/21 10:08 PM
3

I met his friends. I met his guns. I met their guns. He also assaulted a police officer when he was upset with me at a bar. I met his rank tattoo. Regardless I was thrown into a world of all kinds of things very very scary, except him somehow. When I moved and bought a house 2.5 years ago (he lived very far away in another province) we hadn’t had contact for months by then, but he sent me house warming flowers to my new address. As I said, there are still eyes. When I got separated from my husba…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/21 09:25 PM
51

I had a boyfriend I adored. I was wildly in love with him. I still dream we’re together (like literal dreams, not that I think I should be with him) and sometimes I catch myself thinking about him in passing. My marriage was open so this was during my marriage and the only man I very seriously considered leaving my exhusband for. I dated this ex for a year. He would often cry out in his sleep so I asked him about it. He didn’t want to talk about it for a long time (and I mean months and months) …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/21 04:45 PM
80

Men who have to ask if she liked it, know she didn’t!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/21 02:19 PM
86

I have two sons and a daughter. I praise my daughter as often as I can. I snuggle all my kids and I try to teach them good social skills and critical thinking. I also discuss the plight of women in age appropriate ways. I redirect my sons to be inclusive and considerate of their sister so that they can apply it to all the girls and women in their lives as they grow and understand more. I want a healthy relationship with all my children so that when they’re adults I don’t need to keep parenting t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/21 06:42 PM
168

I can’t imagine what her parents must be going through watching this. When my ex assaulted me and gave me a black eye I had to take a week off work to hide it. Never again would I ever lie for a man who abused me. I felt sick watching this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/21 04:58 PM
112

When sea creatures are better than men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/21 04:49 PM
188

My nvm ex was a useless house husband! He didn’t work more than casually even after the kids had been in school full time for four years. Since I kicked him out the only real change to my life is that now I make dinner, where as he’d have that ready when I got home from work. I’ve had two men who don’t have reliable, stable jobs or any money ask me out since I became single and one guy who works in a failing business he sank everything into and lives with his parents! ALL have invited themselves…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/21 04:41 PM
131

You can love your kids without supporting their harmful ideologies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 08:27 PM
88

I think this platform is unique because we are identifying and breaking down red flags unapologetically and without much debate. This is part of the community that makes it safe for so many women to recognize the harms they’ve endured and how to mitigate it in the future. That work isn’t happening in other places so it seems to be oversaturated here. So yeah, be the change you want to see! Post that encouraging, leveling up empowerment content but I definitely think being aware of the living, br…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 05:24 PM
37

He’s comparing you to other women (gross). You should be the only woman on his mind. He’s exercising to impress other women. You should be the only woman he’s trying to impress. He is interested in younger women (ask yourself why and be honest). You should be the only woman he’s interested in. Be realistic! How long do you give him until he would have cheated or broken up with you because he felt ready to jump from the relationship without a single care about you!? Your lost battle will turn out…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 02:10 PM
17

Yes. It was actually my exes birthday and my son tried to reach him but his dad never answered the phone call.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 11:55 AM
23

I am a facilitator in one of my jobs and in training we always say “W.I.I.F.M” which is “what’s in it for me?” That can be a benefit or a headache so make sure you ask yourself this often in all kinds of settings.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 10:08 PM
19

Hahahaha! Yes!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 04:29 PM
92

I’ve made the decision to try to get full parental custody of my children and not do a 50/50 arrangement with my stbx husband. He hasn’t had contact his 3 children in three months (they have a private phone line and my oldest has his own cell phone and still no contact, not only that he did not answer my sons phone call to him on his birthday. Furthermore no one on his side of the family has reached out to the kids since March when the separation began), hasn’t contributed financially to their c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 04:24 PM
67

I spend all of my free time at the dog park or hiking with my dogs. I don’t mind going out alone but I prefer to do anything and everything with my dogs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 03:50 PM
75

I took my ex husbands last name because as an Indigenous person, the alternative was an assigned last name that was given to my grandfather in residential school. I thought it was the lesser of two evils. I do plan on changing my last name to a portion of my cultural name when my kids are adults and I won’t have to explain the discrepancy to doctors and teachers and their friends while I’m raising them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 01:34 AM
25

As long as she isn’t replying and she can emotionally endure it. As someone who’s been in a vicious domestic violence situation someone’s ending it and ending it now is the only option.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 10:21 PM
14

Yes, definitely. I meant family and friends who can help protect her and hold the situation accountable. Plus she should also file charges against him, which is her right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 09:57 PM
106

Document everything that happened. Ask for copies of your police incident reports. Take pictures of all injuries. And go no contact. Block and delete him everywhere. If he contacts you further on any platform ignore, but save evidence and TELL PEOPLE so others can corroborate your side of the story if need be. NEVER BE QUIET ABOUT ANY VIOLENCE. Abusers use your silence to maintain it. Shame the fuck out of him. There will be people who take his side, let them, stop interacting with those people.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 09:43 PM
30

I was with my abusive ex for 17 years. I remember the first time he hit me in the face. I was driving him and I with our 4 month old to my moms for dinner. I forget what we were arguing about but he punched me in the face while I was driving and broke my glasses into my face, cutting my nose. I had to turn down a back lane to try to fix them to keep driving (he still doesn’t have his license…he’s 39) and a car followed because they had seen. They asked me if I needed the police and I declined. S…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 02:49 PM
63

One of my first sexual partners slapped me in the face while we were having sex. It wasn’t hard enough to really hurt but in that moment I completely dissociated. I don’t remember any of the rest of that night. Anyway, I got into the kink scene very quickly. I was in the kink scene for a very long long time. I even did in person, close to no limits SW for a number of years but in every single boundaries conversation I had, my near singular rule was that if I get hit in the face, I will get up an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 02:37 PM
327

Ultimately this is a community of women who are full of knowledge and resource. We are all very unique individuals with many different faceted life experiences. Some of FDS may not fully align with your personal values and that’s fine. It’s okay to be selective about the advice given. That said, maybe opinions can be interpretive and flexible but facts never are. It is a fact that there is a world of cultural misogyny to undo and that starts with everyone holding a light up to the actions of the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 01:13 PM
1

Forgetful is a huge no for me. I have enough to task manage without making sure his responsibilities are being taken care of as well. That’s just extra mental work to add to my load if he’s forgetful. Forgetful men remind me of my scatterbrained preteen. Also no clutter because I don’t like it. I hate having “stuff” everywhere. Makes cleaning so much harder. Exaggeration is big in my culture so I’d be amused by it in story telling for sure. That would be fine with me. I’m flexible on a lot of ot…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 12:20 AM
13

NEVER DO 50/50 WITH A MAN! Now that I’m getting divorced my ex wants 50/50 child custody. LOL! He’s not getting it without a huge legal battle. I will agree to 80/20 because it is in the best interest of the children. Now why is this the case? My ex stole the child tax benefits to set up an apartment. I have been single parenting since March. He has not given a penny to their care, in fact when I was allowing visits I had to give them food while they were there, had to manage all transportation …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/21 10:00 PM
118

My ex husband used to play Custards Revenge about Custard raping Indigenous women. I’m an Indigenous woman. Reason number 1038474949 never to date gamers again. The absolute abhorrent bullshit they play made by absolute abhorrent bullshit men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/21 08:52 PM
63

Someone I love very much; who is a fantastic woman, who helped my mother raise me, adopted her friends baby (her friend passed away shortly after she gave birth). She loves being a SMBC! Like my mother, my Nanny gave up men around the same time my mom did about 30 years ago. My mom and my Nanny never looked back and my mother forged a team of her closest female friends to help raise me and my siblings and my Nanny’s nieces. I was living some Practical Magic type shit growing up. You don’t need a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/21 05:37 PM
19

My soon to be ex husband of 17 years is with his dream gal now. She’s a vegan, hippie, yoga, whatever. She’s attractive. She could do better but she’s happy with him. He’s attractive, he’s very fit and a runner, he even has a job now (he was a house husband with me). I’ve met her socially a few times before we separated. She’s meek, she’s unsure of herself, she has a drinking problem, she has been cheated on by him several times already and she knows it. He’s physically abusive, he’s a bald chea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/21 04:26 PM
4

He has so many good videos!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/21 05:04 PM
5

Well, actually, he asked for the divorce. I have incredible endurance and love a good fight. But I’m glad I accepted within 4 minutes and kicked his ass out within the same week! No contact since June. Don’t miss him at all! And thank you so much! I am excited about discovering new landscapes with my children in a new healthy life!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/21 04:24 PM
3

Literally how it was growing up in my moms. Lol. Every Saturday cleaning happened just like that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/21 01:25 PM
110

I was in a non-monogamous relationship for 17 years. It was a trip! Couldn’t pay me to be in another non-monogamous relationship ever again. Incredibly abusive. There are many reasons someone may enter down those paths (open, dadt, poly), but none of them represent a healthy relationship. My acquaintance while watching the dissolution of my marriage decided to open his marriage up about 5 weeks ago. He asked for my weigh in and I strongly advised against it for him and his wife. Guess who’s gett…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 09:06 PM
55

A glimpse of the last four men I was with (my marriage was open):: When I had to start documenting conversations with my ex husband to prove he said what he had said. Another guy I was with told his mom to “fuck off” when I was in the first two weeks of meeting her (a short dating relationship right off the heel end of my marriage). Another guy smacked my dog in the face because she stole food out of his hand. Nope. Gtfo now! The guy that made a “dead Indian” joke to me when we were arguing. I w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 06:53 PM
10

My last ex did the same thing! Super gross trophy hunters! I never was able to get into his computer to delete them so I’ll be forever nude in a folder, in a library next to all the folders of other nude women he slept with. chefs kiss Also why I don’t take or send nudes anymore. Waiting for the awful day my kids stumble upon my nudes out in the wild online somewhere.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 03:57 PM
38

DefinitelyYou is a gooder!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 03:51 PM
31

Moments like this can become career enders. As a woman who worked single staffed overnights caring for 6 high risk male youth violent offenders I was often worried that I might be raped and have the script flipped on me as the adult in the situation. Women need much more protection working with minors in every industry. Furthermore sexual harassment should never be tolerated in a school even if just to protect the school from liability. Sexual harassment prevention against peers and educators an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 03:46 PM
122

Absolutely! Attraction can be fluid between many variables! I don’t have a physical type. I love fat bodies, fit bodies, chiseled, soft, lanky, tall, short bodies. However!….dressing well, smelling good and having a nice smile is important as well as an attractive personality which is key. That’s why we take things slow and don’t fall for those dog fighting love bombers! True Personality blooms over time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 12:29 AM
22

Sure did!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 09:39 PM
7

I was literally blinded by puppy love and greasy hair!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 07:37 PM
26

Maybe they’ll all lose their jobs like that guy harassing the women on the beach! Ha!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 07:37 PM
81

Tell her you were harassed and you’d like a refund, or for the man who harassed you to be removed from the class/put in a different time slot. Or, if you’re like me, just pick a loud fight with anyone who looks at you funny (don’t be me).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 06:27 PM
39

I once had a man tell me “I love you” and I replied: “But you only love me, because you think I love you.” He could lie to himself but not to me! From now on, we love ourselves more than anyone else could so we don’t need theirs either way!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 04:27 PM
73

Any men interested in any woman 5 years younger than him or more gives me serious pedo vibes. My ex would quip with other men that “the age of consent is 16”. Yes. TO HAVE SEX WITH OTHER 16 YEAR OLDS YOU GROSS FUCK! Anyway, he’s an ex for many reasons but that is a huge one. The first time I heard that come out of his face, I knew it was 100% dead in the water. I have a daughter. That comment cemented why I will never ever ever have a man in my house while I’m raising my kids. My kids childhood …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 04:21 PM
26

Yes, for sure. I just mean specifically the hassle of vetting men while also raising kids. I don’t have time to sift through public records and make sure all their exes are alive while raising kids and they never looked sideways and a kid or a pet. I certainly do not plan on suffering for any man; ever again and there’s a possibility I won’t even want a man in the future empty nester, fingers crossed. Why marry a man when I can get married to art and life!? If my mom ever dated, got laid, had ma…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 01:01 PM
15

Those pictures of MTG players cracked me up! I went to one board game competition with my ex husband so not MTG but much of the same. That said, my ex was an outlier. A 6’1”, vegan, protein huffing, gym bro with abs, sharp features, and considered handsome despite being bald. He was just as socially awkward despite his more conventional looks. ETA: and a physically, sexually, financially, emotionally abusive asshole who didn’t have a job and liked to break my house, so, you know, he only had his…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 12:08 PM
138

Oh. Oh no. No. As a single parent the LAST THING I need to add to my children’s repertoire of relationships is another bad example of a man. This is why, even if I date my children will never meet a man under my roof until they have moved out! These next ten years are for me and my kids. My children do not need to see me ever struggle with a man in a romantic relationship again. I was raised by women who knew better, and now my children will be too. This woman needs to leave that relationship be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 07:40 AM
42

It would be like getting the sample at Costco while wandering around. You know you’re not gonna buy it, but a free taste, well, you’re there anyway! Also so glad I don’t use SC, KiK or whatever else is out there for moving platforms. I don’t want to be handing out all these paths back to me to total scrote strangers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 07:29 AM
2

…right?! I have no excuse! He wasn’t worth the skin off his teeth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 06:05 AM
3

Definitely can’t keep trash in the house! Luckily garbage pick up is weekly ! 💖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 04:25 AM
66

How much of an absolute loser does one need to be to post something like this in all seriousness! Hahahahaha! Fuck. I’d live under a bridge like a troll before that offer would ever look like anything other than dog shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 04:10 AM
381

My ex husband (other than making me play MTG while in labor) tried to talk me out of getting an epidural because he liked to paint me in some hippie paintbrush bullshit. I labored for 22 hours without any intervention and decided “fuck this, stick that needle into my spine” and you could see the disappointment in my husbands face. I was trembling so horribly from pain and exhaustion they almost didn’t want to give it to me fearing I might bump the needle as it was being inserted. Anyway, got the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 03:59 AM
20

And I’m all out fucks! Haha! Boy bye.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 09:43 PM
61

When I met my ex husband his greasy hair stained my glasses. So I got contacts. Then he went bald..his head was still greasy…like his personality. Anyway. No gamers, no bums, no gym rats, no baldies! ✌️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 09:42 PM
26

It’s okay; when I kicked him out he failed to take his board and card games, his books and clothes, his old computer towers and photographs. I stored the board games for my kids for when they’re older but I loved sweeping up and tossing out all those MTG cards two nights ago! They had scattered from a box onto the floor. All in their pretty sleeves, pristinely kept for decades. I considered picking them up by hand and storing them again, knowing some of them might be worth money (but that would …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 09:37 PM
44

Yep. His Zoo deck vs his Black deck. Just what I wanted to focus on while my pelvis was splitting open.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 05:31 PM
92

I will absolutely never date another gamer. The money, the time, the way he let it dominate his social life, his constant nagging me to watch and play which I hated because it was boring as hell to me, how he used it to bond with our kids. The disgusting men he met and socialized with online, eventually bringing them into the house for table top board game nights. No. No. Nooooo. Nope. Gamers are absolutely a hard pass for me, even casual gamers. Even mobile gamers. Just, no thank you, rather be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 05:11 PM
151

Yes! Especially on a date. Like, this is your audition and your going to stare at your shoelaces and twirl your thumbs? I’ll just sit there and wait for engaging conversation. I usually have the opposite problem where I can’t get a word of edgewise in. Men love to go on tangents with me, I’m not sure they use lungs to breath, maybe scrotes have developed some type of land gills because the ones I deal with never seem to stfu! I am pretty quiet and measured and I like to see how long men can tole…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 02:36 PM
36

It wasn’t a date but I had one guy I walked with at the dog park a few times because his dog and mine played together. At the end of the walk he asked for my number and I had enjoyed his time so gave it to him (silly me), he then texted me a link to some company where he gets points for referrals on WEED products. I don’t use marijuana products. Deleted and blocked his number as soon as I left the dog park, even went to a different dog park for a number of weeks. I did have a boyfriend who didn’…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 02:31 PM
7

For all my kids I’ve always used phrases we commonly hear in regards to sexual experiences with adults. For example “no means no”. It applies to children in many experiences but it will also transfer to when they become teenagers and adults. No always means no. I try to really nail down bodily autonomy. It’s your body. Only you can touch it in certain ways. This is what we do if someone touches your body in ways that aren’t okay. This is why you cannot touch someone else’s body without permissio…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 12:49 PM
5

Start by normalizing anatomy terms, consent as soon as you can. I’ve used phrases like “no means no” since day one with my kids. It applies in many contexts but it’ll become more transferable to sex and pornography as they age and when it’s applied to sex. Also, just talk about sex as a part of life when the opportunity strikes. Friends cat having kittens? Well, what was the process. First get them comfortable with bodily anatomy, reproduction and then as they age relationships, social dynamics,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 12:40 PM
9

My ex husband never watched porn. He was adamant against it, it was the only good thing about him. Anyway, I’m not naive. Watching porn is inevitable for any young person, boy or girl these days, it’s the attitudes we instill before they become addicted to it. As someone with sexual childhood trauma, an ex sex worker and as someone who taught high risk youth offenders sex Ed for a number of years, I have a deep personal connection and understanding of porn, kink, sex work and abuse. It’s somethi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 12:32 PM
2

Spirited Away is my kids favourite! :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 06:18 AM
85

God, if I saw some scrote harassing teenage girls in bathing suits at the beach (or in anything, anywhere), I’d be in there like a pitbull. Men need to leave women alone, especially young women and especially female teenagers and children! And that woman who came up in the second part was such a disgrace. “Think of the children!” “Love yourself”..when adults act like children in a losing argument to young people they always drag kids into it and it’s grasping at straws. Kids don’t notice what an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 06:09 AM
10

Awe! Miigwetch! 💖💖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 05:48 AM
16

Men have no shame. I wonder what the guys would say if you replied “what about me, exactly, do men want?” Ugh. Men are as easy and flipping a switch, they can want us all they want….just stay in your lane, boys, wanting us isn’t nearly enough to get us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 02:38 AM
97

Books: It’s so Amazing! (7-10) It’s Perfectly Normal! (10-14), Let’s talk about Sex! (14+) - Michael Emberley. I also used correct terms for anatomy since birth. This is to protect my children, if god forbid, anyone raped or assaulted them they could report factually and also so that as they grow they understand that sex and sexual identity and health is a lifelong journey with lots to learn and as their parent it is my job to make sure they are comfortable having those terms and topics, questio…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 01:00 AM
28

Ew! Omfg! What a bunch of desperate, sad, lonely losers! Should twirl a dildo around and tell him that the best dick comes in glitter pink with no strings attached.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 12:48 AM
118

For real, any woman can get a guy if she wanted one. What makes guys always think they’re “that guy” is beyond me. Ya ain’t! Offer improvement and ease to her life or gtfo. Your jokes aren’t funny, we just don’t want to get stalked or murdered.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 12:44 AM
153

My son is 12 years old, he has access to a home computer. I am constantly reminding him that I do follow up on what he checks online and also educating him on proper sex Ed, feminism and why porn specifically is self abuse, anti feminist, harmful and fake and not permitted or tolerated in this house. I’m pretty open about sex Ed and it’s a kitchen table topic in my house (as are drugs and alcohol, peer pressure, identity, belief systems and mental health), so to facilitate questions, growth and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 12:10 AM
36

She said that he had no ambition to work (that’s why he settled (true, I chased him) for a woman who would from a hard working family. That he would take me away from religion (true but I’m still grateful for that), that he would never give me what I deserved and he would make me bitter (very true. We didn’t have a honeymoon, in almost 20 years we travelled one place together 12 years ago, we had very different interests and hobbies), and that she didn’t trust him to put anyone but himself first…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 11:56 PM
143

What an absolute piece of shit! This is why we don’t do kink and casual sex, ladies! No pathetic porn sick dick is worth your life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 11:32 PM
87

Water off a ducks back I’m afraid. One year I made 7 different assault reports to police for sexual assault from complete strangers. Even had to have a “buddy system” made just for me at work. Now I’m just a huge raging bitch to every man I don’t know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 10:09 PM
14

Don’t worry, he’s out of this hunny pot forever now. My ex absolutely hated this sub and when I’d reference it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 09:31 PM
178

Had a man grab my breast because I entered the tiny elevator behind him (I had just given birth and stairs were rough) and politely smiled at him. Apparently that’s all he needed. Now I straight up mean mug every guy I see. I take my big ass dogs everywhere I can and usually wear headphones that still allow ambiance so I can keep a check on my surroundings but look unapproachable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 09:00 PM
102

Being “sexy” inherently bothers me for the social reasons you’ve stated. All boils down to mens desire or chase. I’ve so often felt fetishized for being Indigenous that if I get hit on I feel sick, terrified, agitated and ready to throw hands (I have also been physically sexually assaulted a lot on the street so I’m constantly on guard). It’s happened with men I’ve been in relationships with too, they just make one too many comments that have an undertone of “I desire you physically” and I’m fuc…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 07:32 PM
30

Oh, I’m so bad for straight up confronting people and getting in their faces. It’s better not to do that because it usually only escalates the danger for the women involved. :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 07:04 PM
68

Money. Play into little girls fairy tail princess stories, manifest fantasies they wouldn’t think of on their own and make tons of money. You wanna read the Little Mermaid to your daughter, go for it, just remember to tell her that you’re not raising a pick me foam princess.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 07:00 PM
14

Dated a friend, found out how awful a person he is. Lost a “good” friend. Now I have no male friends that aren’t partners of my female friends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 05:50 PM
196

My mom is a “one and done” kinda woman. One marriage, one divorce, done. She’s never bothered with men after she divorced my dad in the 80’s and ruthlessly ladder climbed her company and makes bank. Her advice to me now that I’m getting divorced is to focus on my kids and my finances. Makes sense to me. Oh, and she was 100% right about my soon to be ex husband in 2004, she doesn’t fail to remind me so that next time I heed her advice better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 03:21 PM
26

The absolute fucking audacity!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 01:52 PM
18

I got bored reading this! Lol Oh look! Shocking update: Men hate women. 🤷‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 01:42 PM
15

Thanks! I don’t miss him at all! :) I thought the separation would kill me the first week but that feeling went away pretty damn fast despite spending 17 years and raising babies together. What I did was, get way closer to my best friend who is also getting divorced, was with her NVM ex 17 years, is from a Mennonite background like me and deals with the same stigma and also has 3 kids. We just spent the long weekend together with our kids and her boyfriend and his kid communally sharing a home, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 12:22 AM
165

“I’m so busy trying to hurry up to find a woman to trick into tolerating me for a few weeks so I can try to get my dick wet.” -That guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 12:13 AM
12

Getting my kids ready and mentally prepared for a new school year on my own. It’s been a lot of work and money as a single mom but they all have new wardrobes, new supplies, enrolled in music lessons and upcoming interviews with their new teachers this week. I feel like I’m a much better single parent than I ever was parenting with my ex husband. As someone who was child free before I had my (oops) babies, this was my worst fear, but actually living it, as a single parent, not at all what I thou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 11:50 PM
51

Several reasons. We were together since 2004. He never held a steady job, didn’t have his license, constantly forgot things, played 6+ hours of video games a day, made me participate in board game nights every weekend for 7 years, never took me anywhere (I traveled alone), hated his family, open marriage for 17 years (tons of drama with other women and other men). Complained when I got tattoos or piercings because he liked “hippie girls”, though fetishized me for being a “ghetto Neechie” (Indige…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 10:59 PM
8

Guys involved in tech spend a lot of time with guys involved with tech, and that’s a problem. A breeding ground for misogynistic attitudes and behaviours.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 03:55 PM
4

🦄 I’m creative and artistic 🦄 I value and employ my cultural teachings 🦄 I’m hardworking and a quick learner 🦄 I’m persuasive when it counts 🦄 I’m interested in learning and life experience 🦄 I feel deeply and dance in the awe of nature to fuel me 🦄 I am a gentle, sensual lover
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 03:49 PM
40

Men are obsessed with themselves so they think any polite woman must be too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 03:40 PM
101

I was married when I found FDS. Currently getting divorced from a NVM! That said, having a daughter is why I am so attentive to these posts as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 03:37 PM
1

I am unapologetic about my preferences, but they usually aren’t appearances based. I honestly feel like I don’t have a “type”. I’ve dated guys shorter, much taller, athletic, skinny, average, morbidly obese, bald, long hair, clean shaven, facial hair, body mods, rich, poor and of several different ethnicities. I enjoy that I don’t have a physical type for men because it does open up more prospects however it leaves me open to many more men in general which is a problem in and of itself. I do hav…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 03:25 PM
15

My friend and I were just talking yesterday about how the conservative church community set us up to fail. If we were taught sex Ed, we might not have gotten pregnant or had abortions. If we didn’t get pregnant we would not have been pressured into marriage with our exes. If we didn’t get married to our exes we wouldn’t have had more kids with them. If we didn’t have more kids with them we wouldn’t have felt like we had to sacrifice so much to try to make it work “for the kids”. The end result w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/21 03:40 PM
18

Guy Winch is a Psychologist who advocates that you make a list of all the negative things in that relationship so when you feel nostalgic you can reference the list. I’ve been separated from my ex husband since March after 17 years. Whenever I feel like my world is crumbling and I’ve lost out on all my investments I just reference my list and it sobers me up damn fast.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/21 03:08 PM
19

I spend a lot of time listening to True Crime podcasts when I clean or walk my dogs and some time watching TC tv shows. My mom was big into true crime so I was raised on it. I’m always so baffled and underwhelmed by the murderers, rapists, stalkers and criminals. In the aftermath of their actions the underlay is always the same. Just a pathetic, misogynistic, lonely pos narcs who have done nothing to facilitate good things going on for them in their lives, and stupid enough to follow through on …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/21 01:57 PM
12

This is spot on. I have men “fall in love” with me very, very quickly and have had three separate men tell me that my particular brand of weird is more or less “marriage material” since I kicked my soon to be ex husband out this past March. Three separate men, ALL of them brought up marriage. Even with my lofty pendulum mood swings I could tell they were unhinged, delusional and manipulative. Keep that nonsense to yourself buddy, I literally met you two weeks ago! It makes it very hard to trust …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 08:43 AM
7

Very Boyd Rice of him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 09:16 PM
62

Pathetic
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 09:04 PM
4

I like her crafty ways. Hopefully she has her bag packed before she confronts him with the truth and he can lash out!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 07:36 PM
32

An acquaintance who is interested in dating me handled rejection well after I stated I needed time to sort myself out while I go through a divorce process. He thanked me for being upfront and told me he would like to wait for me to be ready if he was a consideration for me. He then went on to ask me what I would like for Christmas because he knows it’s my favourite holiday, just because he wanted to ensure I had something special from someone who cares about me. I like that it’s months away beca…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 05:24 PM
38

I feel for her. She needs to leave him immediately. She will lose nothing but a headache and open herself up to being happy. My ex husband worked as little as possible and covered 1.5 of our bills (one being an expense he pushed for). If he got me a gift it was still with my money. Any kind of date, my money. He blew my money on video games because it was “a shared pot” of finances (never again). Men who are not generous, men who do not work full time, men who don’t understand saving money are m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 12:55 PM
49

She deserves so so much better. I hope she gets out of that hell hole of a marriage and finds the beautiful world she deserves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 12:46 PM
184

Men: “She breathed air, she fucking wants me!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 04:01 AM
21

For women: Pretty Lilacs Rag rag! 🥲
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 08:23 PM
43

That’s disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 08:22 PM
2

I believe in you! We’re all in this together. If you ever want to vent to me, I’m all ears, just dm! 💖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 08:21 PM
3

We’re all human! I’m in a similar boat with my Bipolar disorder and things at times get isolating and overwhelming. All we can do is give ourselves grace and patience and keep redirecting ourselves onto the path we want to walk. I believe in us!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 07:16 PM
52

They’re not in the same place mentally or emotionally in their relationship. One of my ex boyfriends has been engaged for 7 years (she asked him) and he had been cheating on her their whole relationship. My ex husband proposed 7 years in and now we’re divorcing after being married for 10. My brother asked his wife to marry him within 1.5 years while investing heavily into his career to buy her the house she wanted and they’ve been married for 15 with everything she wants. Men know when they’re w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 05:50 PM
29

My ex used to refer to himself as a “little beggar mouse”. Should have employed that snap trap sooner than I did.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 05:43 PM
26

Absolute horse shit!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 05:43 PM
74

All of that was a mess from start to finish. Damn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 04:01 PM
17

Amazing! 💖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 03:57 PM
101

Somewhere there’s a woman, reading extensive board game instructions so she can sit in a basement full of piss bottles and get talked over by bearded and bald pockmarked faced men who will actively make fun of her efforts strictly for her having a vagina.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 03:48 PM
26

I feel called out!!!! 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 03:42 PM
197

This is why women need to feel empowered on their own and not as part of a couple. This is why we need to pour out into women’s resources as much as we can. This is why we need extensive sex ed throughout our children’s lives from day one. This is why we don’t have casual sex with men who do not bare the burden of growing and birthing a human, who do not respect the cycles of a woman’s body. This is why we don’t sit back silently when we know our sisters are in abusive situations.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 03:39 PM
176

I’m going to say it. Divorce is better than an open marriage and my marriage was 17 years non monogamous! I did meet some interesting people along the way, it wasn’t all horrible or I wouldn’t have done it as long as I did, but I ended up living two different lives as did my ex. Even though my ex and I still dated and had near daily (great) sex we no longer lived a life together. We were the ultimate fwbs in the end, who also turned to disregard the other. My marriage would have ended either way…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 11:35 AM
36

Not only for men who use porn but for men in non-monogamous relationships! My ex husband was completely against porn and never watched it but he still needed viagra the last two years of our marriage with other women every single time (and those pills are stupid expensive) but never with me and we had sex near daily. Says a lot about how men view women in the bedroom. If a guy needs any kind of help maintaining an erection with me I don’t want him!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 11:27 AM
82

Exactly this. If he had such a problem then decline. Don’t get strong armed into something just so you can act a clown! Complete and utter man-child.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 04:41 AM
21

It’s not linear healing but as long as we keep redirecting ourselves we’ll get there! 💖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 10:48 PM
5

She’s my love! She’s massive and if I needed her for protection she would not hesitate. Got my dogs new collars and shined up their tags! Treats. I’m only spoiling my girls from now on. They know who loves them. :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 08:53 PM
12

Yep! Disgusting scum basement dwellers who think they have any right to be in our general presence lol. Pussy for ice cream? Nah.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 08:51 PM
80

Ew. He was way too much work from the get go. He seems very opinionated about all the wrong things. The whole not ordering anything for himself on a date? Can you be any less socially inept? No man, cute or not is worth the hoops your athletic self just jumped. He didn’t want a date, he was bored and wanted someone to monologue to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 07:12 PM
774

Complicated words like: “No”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 05:40 PM
5

Yeah, but it was more for my ex husband than this scrote. I’m literally not talking to any men outside of this one because why add to the bundle of hell I already have. My dog is a good deterrent for everyone but the neighbour guy. She’s still not super friendly with him, she barks and growls and keeps her eye on him the whole time he’s around.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 05:32 PM
9

Native to Central Canada. 💖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 06:51 AM
31

Thanks for the suggestions! Security camera yes. Pepper spray no, but I’m going to get some. Once my kids aren’t in the house I’ll be completely alone except my dogs. They’re big dogs, and one for sure is male reactive without a slow intro to him, which is important to me as a single woman in a shitty area but this guy has already won them over. My one dog let my ex husband break in and rape me at 3 am so I got a second dog who happened to have a fear with men (because I have no men living here …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 01:46 AM
16

No, bought my house recently so I’d take a huge penalty to sell now, getting divorced, kids just settled into the neighborhood/schools, literally couldn’t move right now to save my life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 12:35 AM
68

Be careful! I’m in a situation with a neighbour that is troublesome. He claims to have autism which, I believe but that doesn’t mean you have free reign to act violent or concerning, which according to a few of his stories; he does. He’s taken a liking to my dogs and we’d often just chat by the fence (this began pre FDS and before I was getting divorced). Well, eventually he started inviting himself over, walking by to see when I was home, coming into my yard to play with my dogs (who love him a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 12:14 AM
86

My best friend and I bonded through our divorces! Our kids love each other and everyone thinks we’re dating. We aren’t. We just know love when it’s abundant. I’ve had many close gal friends over my life but she is simply the most amazing woman I could have asked for in my life right now. Her birthday is coming up and I’ve rented us a cabin for the weekend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 09:54 PM
1

I swear a lot so it doesn’t really catch me off guard. If he was referring to every woman all the time as a bitch sure, if he says it in a fight, I’ve already dropped it at him myself. I get what you’re saying, but as someone who could champion a pirate in swearing, to me it just doesn’t have the same weight. The roots of cuss words and the context are important. It’s just not one of the things that inherently bothers me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 08:39 PM
12

Luckily mine weren’t nudes. All of his exes were clothed interestingly enough but the pictures of women he casually sexted with were naked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 08:27 PM
79

Definitely, but only if she’s going to get into therapy and stop taking it out on him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 04:40 PM
146

Here the running rate is $30 a bj. As an Indigenous woman living in that kind of neighborhood I’ve discovered $30 is the magic number. I get propositioned a lot. Men in cars have literally pulled up beside me to see if I’d want to “make an arrangement”. I have come a long way, I used to do that kind of interaction under the guise of libfem bs but even then….my privilege of working an actual full time job and my libfem outlook made me picky and able to set the cost. I understand now the cost coul…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 04:39 PM
121

I would laugh at a mini golf date. I hate mini golf so much. It’s tedious, hot, boring, not good to have flowing communication. Personally I think it’s so creeps can stand behind you and try to “position” you during the game. Nope!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 04:30 PM
223

This is your reality check. If he’s HV he deserves to be let go because otherwise he will suffer the generational trauma of your unresolved trauma. Let him go, work on yourself. Life’s lessons hit hard sometime. This is your redirection back to yourself. Good luck! I’m in a similar boat. Mine was LV but it still sucks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 04:27 PM
6

It made me think of that skit “Polyamorous” by Chris Fleming! Hahaha. Anyway, can confirm out of a 17 year non-monogamous marriage. It’s all trash! Hard Truths
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 03:29 PM
189

My last ex boyfriend had an album of all his exes (now to include me) and he had an album of all the nudes he’s collected online from women he had conversations with. 💀 Trophy hunting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 01:34 PM
341

My ex boyfriend learned how reactive and dangerous men really can be the hard way. Invited a strange man and his girlfriend TO MY HOUSE because “I wanted us to have couple friends and they seemed nice” (everyone of them had been drinking and met on the bus??), smiled at the guys girlfriend and ended up with a broken jaw, surgery, head trauma, body trauma and infection. Just what my front lawn needed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/21 07:59 PM
80

Found FDS in another sub bitching about FDS. I do get messages from lurkers, luckily none that have been horrible….yet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/21 07:12 PM
25

Your high libido should not trump your self esteem or safety priorities. I struggle with hypersexual bipolar responses and childhood sexual abuse very often, sometimes if I’m manic, daily for months. Just remember the aftermath of those in person experiences, they’re not that great and you know it. Also it sabotages your goal of meeting a man who sees you as more than a sexual prospect and nothing else. You can have non stop sex or you can have a shot at a proper relationship but likely not the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/21 07:06 PM
68

I agree. Out with the eyes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/21 02:51 PM
72

If you love that about him why make the post in the first place?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 09:01 PM
13

No it doesn’t. Not anywhere did I say it was appropriate. Citing cultural reasons is bringing awareness to a whole different level of why it isn’t okay.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 08:59 PM
10

Of course you don’t have to. It’s just extremely important to me personally for cultural reasons, that’s my issue much more than just not preferring it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 07:30 PM
18

If I’m living my best life it already doesn’t include you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 06:21 PM
11

If you ever want to commiserate hmu!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 05:06 PM
6

Hahahaha!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 05:05 PM
130

Well that’s depressing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 02:19 PM
14

Hahaha! Yeah, ever sick, it’s a good day for that I think! 💖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 01:56 PM
2

I laughed so hard!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 07:19 AM
100

I love oral, but there is zero….ZERO desire to let some rando at me especially when he doesn’t want it reciprocated. That somehow seems worse and I don’t know why. 🤮 Get your pimply, pockmarked sad face away from me!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 07:16 AM
159

For me I avoid men who go right to the specific interest of me being Indigenous before any other aspect of me. Indigenous women are murdered and missing in outrageous numbers where I live, so much that we have a “No More Stolen Sisters” movement. ..it’s any guy that talks about “how sexual and wild Native women are”. This usually happens very quickly because it’s what men use as an opener with Indigenous women. Any guys talking about how “ratchet” and how Indigenous women are “great to party wit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 07:01 AM
385

I absolutely do not tolerate hair pulling for cultural reasons and because I don’t like it. Before I sleep with any guy I go over my non negotiable limits and if they even come close to thinking about those limits it’s over. I have done the same, up and gone. Good for you for voicing yourself because women have been trained not to in sexual situations (well, in most situations but especially vulnerable sexual already rolling situations). Next time hit em with the book of your sexual laws before …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 06:48 AM
8

I have a saying for me and my relationships. “I fell in love and all I got was this shitty track!” I STILL assign every single lover a song that they make me think of. I have a whole playlist of lost and wrong loves as my 17 year marriage was non monogamous. Like, I have had….many many lovers. My playlist is unhealthily healthy, yaknow. Latest assignment is The Legendary Pink Dots - The Grain Kings. cries in sad leveling up woman
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 06:41 PM
10

Oh definitely. My ex husband and I spent 17 years together because we both liked Neo-Folk. Music is a very weird emotional landscape to get trapped on with someone. Musicians and artists are ILLEGAL (for my hearts sake). sigh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 06:35 PM
8

Sent this song to my last boyfriend. He was pretty pissed. Haha.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 04:35 PM
26

Music is hugely important to me. All of the men I’ve ever fallen in love with more or less shared my niche music taste (niche in my city). I am so picky on music I’ve had boyfriends in the past where I didn’t even know what they listened to because they never argued me putting on mine, and I always did. It’s also a trap for me. I can definitely fall for the wrong guy just because he likes the same music. I get so excited that it sorta runs my brain for a bit. Bah! This very recently happened. El…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 03:31 PM
43

They never ever fully disappear somehow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 03:10 PM
104

…did she bother to reread what she wrote? If she did there’s no way she’d still be married to this fool.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/21 05:27 PM
2

puts him back on the shelf
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 06:32 AM
20

As someone who is going through a divorce, the next man who wants in my life better be trained by the circus because the rings for his hoop jumping will be on fire. What I learned in my first marriage is that I really don’t need a second one!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 05:07 PM
14

As a mother, no. I invest heavily into my children now so they know how to invest appropriately into their future partners. My sons partners ever come to me with concerns, he’s having a sit down discussion with me about them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 10:08 PM
1

I knew of a guy who was proposed to by his fiancé. He was cheating on her the whole 7 years!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 05:50 AM
2

Watch that undertow in the Poly setting. It ended my 17 year relationship and I’m going through the divorce from hell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 07:31 PM
6

I mostly agree, however I have a close family member who couldn’t have children. It was incredibly upsetting for them and their partner for years and I did offer to be a surrogate for them. They thought about it for a long time but in the end declined and accepted they would never have a family. So I think it’s different when it’s offered by family to family and if they ever changed their minds I wouldn’t hesitate. I also wouldn’t be compensated for it at all. Just carry the baby, give birth and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 11:51 PM
188

Okay; so the specific points, no, but the paragraph gave me PTSD! I read it in my exes voice because it sounds like he wrote it…while punching me in the face…because I’m miserable because he won’t get a job and blows my families money, or take me out, or do anything but play video games. Men need to stop grasping at straws when they are the problem! Anyway. No. Zero. Zero demands from any man ever again. You want to leave? There’s the fucking door!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 01:12 AM
20

Single mom as of the very end of March this year after a 17 year relationship (9 years married, currently separated and going slower than a dying snail trying to get divorced). I personally will not even begin to date until my kids are at least teenagers, so, a minimum of five years because of safety concerns involving unnecessary men in my children’s lives. Preferably I wouldn’t date until they all had moved out but I’m human and if I happen upon a man I feel may be a good fit I can’t say I wou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 08:41 PM
2

Yes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 08:24 PM
3

Sorry, HPV can but it can take years and it can also result in very serious cancers. So yes, technically for most people it clears after a few years but if you’re not so lucky, it’s definitely potentially very harmful so always best to be considerate of who, when, where and why you’re with your partners.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 08:05 PM
6

Lol, they definitely don’t go away on their own. They lie dormant. We were very militant about this actually, the nurses knew us pretty well and we were open about our “lifestyle”. I have been hired to teach sex education programs as well so we were pretty on the up and up there but I have MANY instances where I was intoxicated with fwbs and they stealthed me and would even finish inside me without any kind of permission. So, yeah, super real risk even if you’re very careful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 07:23 PM
38

He’s so smart he lost all their money! Woo! #relatable
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 05:50 AM
17

My ideal would be to eventually do 50/50 custody with sole parental rights, but not a damn moment of shared custody before we have a legal parenting plan hashed out. Since I told him I expect him to pay off his marital debt and produce legal representation for a parenting plan to be drawn up it’s all just crickets from his side even though he begged for 50/50 custody. I know he thinks I’ll get frustrated single parenting and try to chase him down to get the ball rolling, but I won’t. The only th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 04:42 AM
4

Me too girl! It’s our year!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 02:55 AM
10

I believe in you!! Definitely a learning curve I’m sure, and I bet it’s frustrating because the same man will act one way on a certain day and completely different the next, such emotional creatures they are. Lol Just remember you’re number one. You’re not their buddy, therapist or prospect. They’re not even on your radar, they just want to be. 💖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 02:28 AM
16

Fair enough, I’m very removed from that line of work. Well then, keep it to a single drink and a single location and a singular topic (work). Brick wall him when he starts using you to pacify his shitty attitude about his life choices and trying to extort personal information that he’ll use to either neg you, undermine your work or facilitate inappropriate emotional connections to you. Good luck!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 02:17 AM
47

A married man with an infant asked you to a nice restaurant. He tested you with one drink at Starbucks and knew he could hoop you once you agreed to it. Work is never a time to be drinking regardless of the convenience and definitely not one on one with a married man. He got free emotional labour from you and didn’t even have to buy your meal! We want HV men but we have to then be HV women who would see through that. We can’t raise the bar if we keep meeting them in hell. Sadly in the end, you e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 02:04 AM
41

The whole situation was a scrote moment. You and I both know his wife stuck at home with their infant would not be pleased with this situation. You set yourself up with that second drink I’m afraid. Going forward I’d keep it strictly professional with him. Tell him to go drink with “the boys”. You were a moment of escapism.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 01:56 AM
3

What is seemingly perfect about this romance to her? Can he not afford to separate himself from his wife now and get his own residence on par with hers? If he can why hasn’t he? She wants to move him in. She wants to raise his kids? Depending on where they live and how long he’s been married is she willing to also be prepared to give some of her and definitely his pension to his (assumed) soon to be ex wife? Child support? Is she ready for the stress and hell that will be being at his side while…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 01:43 AM
29

When the dust has settled this is on my to do list! 💖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 12:20 AM
34

Went through three of those clownettes. How could I blame them though, my ex was manipulative and charming, women think they wanted him and I was the idiot ringleader willingly allowing the whole situation to present itself. Never ever again. My ex did hoop a woman to finance him, and he cheated on her every step of the way after. So, she got her prize, unfortunately for her it’s a broke, cheating, deadbeat “dad” who’s gonna get hit with some legal bullshit and retroactive child support he’s goi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 12:09 AM
122

As someone who takes work very seriously and always has, I’m really sorry. That’s really awful and gross of him. We all know he would not have made that comment had he been talking with a man. There really wasn’t any other way you could have responded because of course he needs pandering and it’s your livelihood in consideration. You replied in a way that didn’t give him much more to neg you about this time. Hopefully you won’t have to speak with him again, can someone else be the contact for hi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 09:30 PM
14

Miigwetch! It’s been a trip. I actually think being with a covert serial cheater would be harder. I agreed to be an idiot, you got locked into something you didn’t agree to at all. Both our exes were men not worthy of the love and effort they got before pulling the rugs out. I find strength here with women like you and me working on putting ourselves first. We got this! Also love your username! 💖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 09:15 PM
37

If you play it right like my soon to be ex husband, you too can spend $5000 saving his abusive ass from his full time working, sole owner of the house, good community connected and respected wife who pays for all the private schooling for the kids and who’s family funded every single trip across the country while letting him bang other chicks for funsies! Hahaha. Fuck me!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 08:31 PM
61

I will say, open relationships sound great on paper. At least to a lot of us, yeah, sounds good. Lots of love, lots of attention, dates, gifts, a sense of community with your “metamours” except those benefits either never materialize, are very short lived or come with strings from hell. That shit ain’t real life. It’s just a bunch of abusive people taking all they can get or worse or circle jerking holier than thou idiots who think they’re a cosmic entity of spiritual mass and everyone is one, w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 08:04 PM
73

When I kicked my STBX husband out I made sure to drop all that bullshit off at his parents with his magical mattress where the love happened with his new girl when he was homeless (his parents were the drop off zone) just so everyone was on the exact same page in the exact same book. All the books are trash and all endangered my life. When they wanna hit me up for custody battles were gonna be highlighting just how many clowns my ex and his clownette plan on running past my kids. I’ll blow it al…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 07:57 PM
3

I agree. It’s so satisfying to throw it right in their face but the risks are very high, and no satisfaction is worth your life. I’ve had an over abundance of experience with shit men and I’ve run the gambit from agreeing with them, to literally throwing fists, to challenging them, to shutting down until they get bored. It can be very situational but the end result is the same, wasted energy and safety for zero change in the man. It is never worth the risk of life to tell a man off. The problem …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 07:19 PM
48

You can’t give a clown a castle. Stop trying. Send him back to the circus.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 06:46 PM
76

It’s such a time suck. Open relationships are flat out for people who are bored with being alive and are scared of being in their own company. So bored and miserable with life itself they have to scratch out fake lives in a hundred different ways with a hundred different people. Would rather die alone, thanks!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 06:37 PM
42

Doing the lords work I see!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 05:40 PM
2

I’d call the cops while looking him in the eyes if I were her. How a woman can justify protecting her shitty miserable relationship with a pedophile over ACTUAL CHILDREN is beyond my scope of understanding…or wanting to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 05:33 PM
24

I don’t understand what she’s trying to figure out. It’s obvious. Grab a girlfriend, pick a nice restaurant and enjoy a meal with someone you like who won’t rip you off, waste your time and expect you to be dessert.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 04:54 PM
28

Gross cheap unhealthy food, not facing each other, probably overlooking a dumpster filled back lane with some naked guy who hasn’t sobered up yet. Resembles the date you had with your 10 year old boyfriend in the back of the car while your moms socialized in the front. Or….this is “open relationship dating”! Hahahaha.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 04:50 PM
99

If only they saw women as people. If they did, this wouldn’t even be a thing! Women are a commodity in open relationships. Trading cards under the guise of libfem bullshit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 04:31 PM
249

My 17 year relationship was mutually non monogamous from the first day. Never again! The drama, the endless “boundaries conversations”, living such separate lives for the thrill of new ass and new love and new relationships which all amounted to absolutely nothing positive in almost two decades. Falling in love with men you can’t be with. Having men fall in love and not being able to get rid of them. Having women fall in love with your partner and threaten to get pregnant by him. Women stalking …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 03:54 PM
8

She already has a daughter and they still don’t live together. She and her daughter share a room in her parents basement. And she’s Poly and not just seeing my ex and I’m very excited about tripping on clown shoes when my lazy narc ex finally wants to pick up the “great dad” appearance again and comes back for the kids. Right now I brickwalled him until he has legal representation for custody so we’re going on three weeks of no contact. He hasn’t spoken to 2/3 of our kids since and only speaks t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 05:56 AM
15

Thank you. I am in good company. Two of my best girlfriends are also divorcing, both have kids. We’ve formed a very supportive team and we share very similar stories, almost mirrored right down to the 17 year long relationships! Women make women strong. I was raised by strong women, I’m in the company of strong women and we’re now equipped with freedom to teach our daughters to be strong women!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 02:41 AM
46

I was her once. I’m not mad at her. I’m not jealous she’s with him. I pity her deeply. He’s betrayed her every step of the way and while it could easily bring me petty joy, it doesn’t, this woman who hates me so much will be heavily involved with my children at some point. If kids weren’t involved I’d literally waste no time trying to analyze any of the relationship after the fact as I learned my lessons hard and quick at the end. Kids tie me to this circus for ten more years.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 09:19 PM
73

My husband told me he was “out of the marriage for years” before he asked for one in March. The reason he didn’t ask to end it earlier, he relied on me financially. He found a libfem, told her I was the abusive one (I must love giving myself black eyes) and she agreed to save him from me. She spent $5000 paying to furnish an apartment for him and our kids, she paid his rent, damage deposit and for all his utilities while he’s still married to me. She buys his food, rents cars to take him places …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 08:04 PM
4

My STBX husband also wants 50/50. He got a “cash cow” to “support me and the kids”. He wants to move my three kids in with her and her daughter. They don’t even know she exists. He was with her 8 months before he asked for the divorce. I told him when he had legal representation, a way to pay off half his marital debt, family counseling set up for his side and a legal parenting and safety plan I would coparent. Crickets. He’ll be back for them, he just wants his fun summer off reality, and I am …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 07:26 PM
3

I have 11 years of child protection work and have seen all kinds of families go throughout the same process I am now in. I’m ready for any kind of fight he wants to throw my way. Currently he’s been no contact with his kids because camping with his girlfriend is more fun. Weaponize them he may, but he can’t support them. They know where their bread comes from. They’re 12/8/8. They’re very cognizant that their dad has been unreliable and broke as hell since I kicked him out. They don’t even ask a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 07:18 PM
7

Leeches
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 07:12 PM
5

Yes! We did the best things for the person we’re with our whole lives, ourselves! My marriage was very abusive and high conflict and I began therapy this week! My kids start theirs soon as well. It’s a gift! The horizon of my second life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 07:06 PM
12

I’m a few months out from my 17 year marriage and single parenting three kids. Even with the debt stuck on me, the parenting stuck on me, the burden of cleaning up his mess in my house stuck on me…it’s night and day for me and my kids! Never again. My mental illness was so awful with him that now that I’m a few short months out I feel human again and you could not pay me enough money to ever take him back, or even give him a smile. 17 years sunk isn’t a death sentence and I’m glad the rest of my…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 06:57 PM
16

Aho! That’s awesome! I honestly can’t believe colonization and precontact cultures are not mandatory in school. It blows my brain daily. Buuuuut then we’d have to make huge legislative adjustments and Canada would have to include Genocide on the resume and…it just looks real bad for us, ya know?! Maple syrup?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 08:01 PM
27

Chi Miigwetch! I agree. I experienced both worlds first hand. I was a “sqaw” in my moms area and an “apple” in my dads (red on the outside, white in the middle) but at the end of the day I got many more abuses in the rich world. And I agree about the material things as well. I get wanting the best and treating yourself and expecting nice gifts and gestures from your partner but that is very subjective to how and what it might be when you value cultural life more than….colonization and owning the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 07:40 PM
20

She thinks it’s cute he doesn’t wash his damn face? Tf?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 07:20 PM
54

Yep
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 06:43 PM
93

Social Class is a tough one for me. My dad is Indigenous, transient, poor, couch surfs, eats at shelters (just want to plug here, this is NOT because he’s lazy or an addict. This is the DIRECT result of systematic racism, Colonization, and the abuses of the church and Residential Schooling and Foster Care.) My mom is German, and very well off, makes bank and has a big house with a pool. I lived in two different worlds my whole life. I actually feel safer and more comfortable in and around povert…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 06:40 PM
61

I remember two Instances when I had “fwbs” and I was talking to the new prospects. Both were very casual; chatting all day but were slow to get to making any plans with me (I required a “date” to get to know them a bit before getting right to it lol). In conversations both men realized that I already had established long term fwbs in my life. They both seemed annoyed/surprised. I got “you see other men?! Multiple men?!” After finding out one backed off completely and the other scrambled to plan …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 04:30 PM
10

Never ever ever again will I be with a gamer of any kind. As we speak I am trying to sell thousands of dollars worth of table top games and cards I was strong armed into playing every weekend for literal years, like…12 years. I have PTSD from it I’m sure. Oh, he sank my credit by stealing my credit card for games and a week before we decided to divorce he spent $700 on a “gaming chair”. He owes me about $4000 in marital debt because he didn’t pay our bills because VIDEO GAMES! BOARD GAMES! PC GA…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 04:30 AM
1

I said “visible cameras”. I’m all for real cameras. Another commented on dummy ones.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 06:35 PM
10

What’s the long term benefit of putting up with poor behaviour? There aren’t any. Don’t set yourself up for cheating, addictions, abuse, indifference by allowing a man, any access to your time or effort when he doesn’t treat you right. Be prepared to be your primary partner for life, because you are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 05:04 PM
1

Well maybe, but the police would argue it easier with proof if she chooses to make a stalking or peeping Tom report.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 05:00 PM
311

Get visible cameras around your property. If he’s a neighbour he’s very easy access to your routine and house/vehicle/yard.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 02:44 AM
2

Are his behaviors acceptable to you? It’s a yes or a no. That’s the only question you need an answer to. His reasons, self validations, lack of empathy, lack of change, all point to: kick him to the curb. One mid 30’s single mom to another. You’ve barely written anything at all about him and he sounds completely insufferable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 02:40 AM
13

Yes! My stbx husband suggested that I “get a man to move in and help with the bills…that’s why I got a girlfriend…” EXCUSE ME?! Are you not the slightest bit concerned about our children?! Smooth brains trying to run these shows! Will my stbx intentionally harm our kids…no. Will he forgo the use of his brain to make sure other adults don’t hurt our kids….apparently so! Safety third!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 01:59 AM
5

I would definitely do 50/50 with 100% legal custody! When I kicked him out in March he whined for mediation. I agreed. Set it up the next day, did the program myself and he let it lapse, we lost our placement. Now I am full on waiting on him, I will never try to contact him again, if me and the kids never see or hear from him again, no skin off my teeth, however we have a joint vehicle that I can’t afford on my own. I’m looking for a second job but he’s completely ruined my credit and this vehic…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 11:06 PM
25

It’s even worse. I’m still married to him until next spring! They were “just friends (with benefits)”! Haha. She picked him up from our house with food in a rented car to drive his broke ass to the woods.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 10:41 PM
8

I waffle between shared custody and going for full custody. I’m waiting for a lawyer to get back to me so I’m just tossing it over in my head constantly. He wants 50/50 custody but he’s broke; relies on the woman he left me for to finance him (pays his apartment and furnished it, his “cash cow” as he’s called her) and when he was seeing the kids he was working overnights, sleeping all day, sat them with video games hours on end, and I was giving him money to treat them while he left me with thou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 10:34 PM
53

My ex husband took his now girlfriend on a hike their first date. She had to drive and provide the food because he’s poor. SHE RENTED A CAR FOR THIS! Lmfaooo
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 08:09 PM
81

Yep! I’m a single mother and I won’t date a single father either. I don’t want to raise more kids. I’d rather enjoy the ones I have that are my responsibility. The caveat would be if his kids were adults and would not be living with me, but I don’t do age gaps either so I’m not expecting another relationship to happen before the next ten years, plus frankly, I don’t want to bring a man around my kids period until they’re settled adults living on their own for their safety and emotional well-bein…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 05:57 PM
60

I finally went no contact with my ex after months of abusive, gaslighting, trauma bonding sex and told him to contact me when he has legal representation to set up parenting plans and debt repayments plans (lol like this one will ever happen)! I let him back and forth because of the kids but also because I wasn’t ready to let go. It wasn’t smart, it didn’t provide stability for the kids, it didn’t let me start to forgive myself for allowing his abuse so I made the cut. It was hard. I had to talk…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 02:29 PM
34

Yep! At least you broke up! I said “I’ll show up” and my mom and ex planned the wedding. The wedding was nice but yeah, pressure to get married since I was pregnant. Big 17 year long mistake and an extra two kids later….
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 05:24 AM
2

Oh my god. My ex husband asked me to mistress my mistress lol. “I love my girlfriend but can he have a discreet affair?” We’re not even divorced yet! My ex husband is pure trash.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 03:29 AM
17

I’ve only had three true male friends in my life that are close to me. One is gay, one is Ace and the other one is very married to his work and in the shadow of his wife’s booming social life (also my good friend. They’re my old roommates but I lived with him before they dated as we had a very niche mutual interest and he never once came onto me or anyone else we knew). Not one other man in my life (they’re slowly getting culled) could I say is a real friend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 02:46 AM
4

This just warmed my heart! 💖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 03:54 PM
113

Avoidance of conflict resolution. When they’re unwilling to want to find resolutions to conflict that is a huge red flag for me. My ex husband would literally take off running if we had a disagreement instead of discussing it as a team and finding a solution. Once we had kids running away was much less acceptable so he just started screaming and eventually breaking property which led to eventually him hitting me when I brought up things that needed to be addressed. These things were often seen a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 04:43 PM
2

Same boat. 💀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 03:17 PM
3

I waited 16 years for my stbx husband to hang Christmas lights…this year, it’s going to be a glittery, sparkly, magical winter fucking wonderland all over my house.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 03:13 PM
32

Oh my lord, I hope she leaves him yesterday.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 06:13 PM
4

I just committed to celibacy last night after plans with an old fwb fell through when he overslept! Noooope! No. No. We’re done with that. It’s was a “hit it and quit it” for me, but now it’s just a “quit it”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 07:08 PM
5

Curved averaged sized dick for me please! Worst sex I had was with very small dicked men, just all around bad. Upon my separation I ordered a dildo and it’s definitely bigger than my preference so back to the sex shop!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 06:52 PM
4

I got MYSELF a dog for my birthday a week before I kicked my ex out in March. Best decision I made in my marriage! Haha.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 08:09 PM
5

I actively didn’t want children but due to a myriad of reasons didn’t even know I was pregnant until I was way past the abortion date. Considered adoption but my now ex husband and family threw an absolute fit and begged to have these babies in our lives so saddled up for a life of parenting. My children (twins and one singleton) are very loved but having them didn’t change who I am or my general outlook on family life the way I think a lot of people romanticize. I have them, love them dearly, d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 07:45 PM
4

Yep! I spit my drink out at the carpal tunnel! 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 04:05 PM
19

Hit me and I’ll crack ya right back while calling the police. Been there, done that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 03:42 PM
37

I’ll never live with another man I’m not married to because of this. I am using mediation for my divorce and avoiding lawyers JUST to avoid my ex going for the house I BOUGHT ON MY OWN (it’s only in my name, bought it two years ago). He can’t afford a lawyer so I’ve agreed to mediate (even though it will likely draw this divorce out maybe years) and he’s agreed to leave my property and it’s contents alone. Would never marry without a prenup.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 11:14 PM
3

A good woman wants to protect a good woman. There isn’t a future partner of any my exes I wouldn’t have a discussion with if they approached me. Also, I’ve worked in child protection for 11 years. Mandated supervised visits are never a good thing. If she’s the crazy bipolar ex why does she have their son? Who’s really unsafe? If I wanted to go for full custody I could get it, however a horrible partner my ex was my children love him, are old enough to advocate for themselves and he is responsibl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 04:40 PM
13

I am the bipolar ex of a very abusive no value male who presents as a “HVM” to a libfem woman. Using mental illness the way he is is a huge red flag. Did I lose my mind on my ex, yep! Was it completely justified...oh yes it was. Did he get to throw my mental illness (treated/therapy) around to play victim, you know he did. Maybe talk to her if you think he’s such a catch because when I showed my exes new partner my black eye pictures among others, of course...he must have done it in self defense…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 03:50 PM
101

Currently living this! I’ll happily eat the debt to get rid of him; but it was a VERY expensive lesson I will never forget! Single for life!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 03:46 PM
13

Or, “let’s go for a drive!” Why, so you can conveniently bring me to the place you want to dump my body? That’s what more or less happened to my aunt!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 03:40 PM
1

I’ll add my entire 17 year relationship with my ex husband was non monogamous. I’ve had many many fwbs over the years but when I wanted to get out of it, it wasn’t optional without abuse at home.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 02:46 PM
2

In the end of my marriage, yes, I was very much coerced to seeing another man (who legitimately beat, raped, threatened and abused me) so my ex could maintain his relationship with his fwb while they talked about how to dismantle the marriage under my nose. My ex husband is poor with no savings so he couldn’t just leave the marriage as he’d be homeless. He needed to secure a libfem “cash cow” (his words) for financial security before he could leave the marriage before I asked him for a divorce. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 02:44 PM
12

Yeah, I definitely would once my world stops spinning so fast and I have some time. I’m playing a lot of catch up in all regards since the separation and mitigating three upset children. Once summer hits we go to 50/50 custody for better or worse and I’ll have a lot of reflective time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 02:26 PM
44

I have actually, literally, had sex in a field more than once with fboys. 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 08:15 PM
186

As someone who was in an open relationship for 17 years, yeah, I got lots of matches. I also got raped, beaten, mocked, stalked, threatened and generally dehumanized with racist, sexist comments and low value acts (“where do I leave the change?!”...4am fboy calls, sex work offers and expectations and cheaters by the dozen). Meanwhile I was expected to act as an accessory or servant. Every man I met regardless if he was single or in another open relationship, whether it was a ONS or the two men I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 08:01 PM
52

I’ve experienced this twice (that I know of). Once with my now ex husband (he broke into my house at 3am after I kicked him out last month even though he’s not single) and once with the fwb I was forced to see near the end of my marriage so my ex could secure his fwb into a serious relationship as he needed her financial help. I woke up both time mid act and was very confused and scared as it took me a few minutes to even realize who was raping me as I was waking. I even told my ex what happened…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 04:21 PM
2

Thank you. Absolute worst feeling I’ve ever felt was going to pull out the credit card I got TWO YEARS AGO and never used when I bought my house (for emergencies only) and couldn’t find it. At all. He had been hiding the collection letters but had to fess up at the vet, while the dog I rescued and loved more than life for years was panting in pain on the floor. This was in November. Since he barely made money, and I was supporting a family of five on my own I didn’t have the funds available. My …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 04:02 PM
6

Saved money, privately and invested it into myself and not a “partnership/relationship”. At 20 I was two years into what would be a 17 year relationship that left me broken in so many ways, with no financial security and three kids relying on me to get it all together while my ex secured a “cash cow” (his words) to support him to leave the marriage and the debt all in my hands. Save your money for yourself!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 07:34 PM
79

Thank you. It’s been a very trying time in my life. I was a huge pickme because I didn’t know any better. We even had an open relationship the whole time (17 years tomorrow). According to other men he was living like a god (never worked, got to have sex with other women in the house I bought on my own, he paid two bills a month and I paid everything else, everything was handed to him and when I started requiring more and venting that frustration he made an exit strategy). He was a huge lesson on…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 07:17 PM
156

Ex husband used my credit card behind my back (ruined my credit behind my back for video game items): resulting in my dog who needed emergency surgery to not be covered and had to be put down. No amount of financial destruction will ever EVER make up for that, but he bounced out of the marriage leaving me with $4,500 debt and stole the child tax credits out of our joint account. He’s a winner! Separated in March. Never again will I live with a man. He essentially killed my dog. He literally stol…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 07:03 PM
3

Ooooo! I’ve had, from two separate men “I want to be with someone just like you, just...not you.” And “I really really like you but I don’t want to be known for dating the “fat chick”. Definitely dated one of them because I was a young idiot. So many men are absolute psychopaths.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 06:08 PM
10

YES! “If it’s not good it’s nasty”. I’ve never read more true words!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 04:02 PM
20

My ex husband made me play board games while I was in labour because he was bored. I hate board games at the best of times...I was an idiot. I know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 12:03 PM
5

...deleting now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 06:58 AM
39

I was in a poly relationship with my ex for 17 years. He searched for a “cash cow” to roll out of the marriage on when I started demanding he pull his weight (worked only part time in 17 years). He eventually punched me in the face when I tried to walk the poly marriage to monogamy to reassess our priorities and now this lib-femme woman who was specifically selected with a checklist to try to pacify me by my ex (“close in age, not prettier, would support me financially and be nice to our kids”) …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 05:27 PM
11

I kicked my ex of 17 years out on March 27 and the amount of times my kids ask “mom, why are you dancing/singing all the time?!” is something I should keep track of! I don’t even realize I’m doing it while cooking, cleaning, playing with them. It’s so nice to know that there are inherent parts of me that celebrate this divorce even when I don’t feel it mentally, my soul does, my body does on another level. Yes to celebrating ending toxic relationships!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 07:33 PM
2

I was at the dog park this morning and there was a man there who was close in age and attractive. Our dogs were playing and he started talking about how his friend ended up with a woman he liked but it was okay because “she turned out to be a total psycho” then proceeded to ask me for my number so our dogs could play together again. How about...no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 07:20 PM
11

...still listen to black metal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 07:45 PM
7

As soon as I kicked my ex husband out I discovered how fun parenting was and how much easier it was without him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 12:20 PM
21

I’m starting over at 35 after 16 years! We live to 100 these day, we don’t need to drag disgusting with us for that long! Boy bye!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 12:57 PM
2

No matter what you do she isn’t going to reciprocate. She doesn’t want you. Leave her alone. Lol. Yikes.
/r/seduction23/01/20 05:16 PM
1

It doesn’t mean anything and go ahead. At the very least you’ll feel you’ve cleared yourself up! If it’ll help you then just do it but I’d bet money she wouldn’t take you up on any further romantic offers.
/r/seduction23/01/20 04:49 PM
2

Don’t contact her again. She doesn’t care about the context of the situation anymore even if she understands it. You’re way too late to try to follow up on where things went wrong, especially if she’s talking to other men, which she will be. She’s gone. She doesn’t want your attention or she’d seek it out.
/r/seduction23/01/20 04:01 PM
1

Well then don’t put yourself in a position to be made a fool of? Or send the video and prepare to be blocked/ignored/given mixed messages until you see yourself out. Sorry man.
/r/seduction23/01/20 03:55 PM
1

I doubt she would regain interest in you, especially after so long. She could have also used the kiss as a measure to see if there would be a spark, there wasn’t on her end or again she likely would have taken the ride home. I wouldn’t bother wasting your time. She’s not sending you any signals that indicate she wants further attention. It’s very possible she has met other since (reason for no contact) or she is simply uninterested and will be further put off by more attempts.
/r/seduction23/01/20 03:51 PM
2

I would just cut your losses here and move on. She may have kissed you without eye contact because she felt she wouldn’t be able to get out of it either way and wanted to get it over with, referencing that YOU took her hand out of her pocket to hold, it wasn’t mutual, she was just humouring you. I’ve been in that situation so that’s the first thing that came to mind, especially because she turned down your offer to drive her home and spend more alone time with you. She may have not been comforta…
/r/seduction23/01/20 03:36 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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