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lolmemberberries Archive

View 0 posts and 935 comments by lolmemberberries on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
18

His whole profile reads like it was meant to appeal to men. I wouldn't be at all surprised if he complains about how he doesn't have a lot of matches.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/22 09:41 PM
70

He cooked something one time and it tasted decent, so now he's a culinary expert.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/22 05:07 PM
182

It makes zero sense because wolves are pack animals.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/22 02:23 PM
52

He's a "nutrition expert" and "chef" but his takeout was listed as one of his main interests. Boy, bye.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/22 02:19 PM
232

A fake ring and writing his name on her like she's his lunchbox? The fucking gall.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/22 01:58 PM
6

This reads as desperate and creepy. I wouldn't go either.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/22 08:24 PM
13

I'd still block. Regardless of the location or time you go to the gym, he has far less access to your time if you're not receiving his texts or calls.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/22 07:56 PM
35

I wasn't aware of that. But I hope he doesn't get a dime of what she has now that she's successful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/22 02:00 PM
111

Jessica Simpson also said her biggest financial mistake was her first marriage. She didn't sign a prenup and ended up more successful than Nick Lachey.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/22 12:50 PM
28

A prenup sounds like it was a smart idea if she was the sole or primary breadwinner in their marriage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/22 12:41 PM
39

You're an inspiration, OP! This is why we shouldn't center our lives around men. I'm glad you're doing better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/22 12:50 AM
2

That is terrifying. I'm glad you're safe, OP. Block and delete works.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/22 12:39 AM
5

Dated a dude like this and he was very narcissistic. His personality was comprised entirely of personality traits and hobbies he co-opted from different women and which ones he emphasized was based on who he was idealizing at that moment in time. Conversely, I've also experienced where a guy shows interest in things I like and wants to experience those things with me. Whether it's going to a restaurant I've talked up, an art exhibit I've expressed interest in or a concert for a band I like. If h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/22 11:15 PM
7

I wouldn't put it past him. He's a trash guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/22 11:14 PM
18

Your friend needs to consult a lawyer and formally evict him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/22 01:45 AM
24

He had his friend tell your friend that he likes her? Like he's in middle school?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/22 01:04 AM
33

The last time someone told me he was "bAd aT tExTInG," I stopped talking to him entirely and blocked him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/22 10:44 PM
20

He sounds fragile.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/22 10:39 PM
15

He's definitely choosing her because he sees her as an easy target. She sounds like she's vulnerable and should be working on her own healing. Hopefully she has a support system that will help her walk away. As for you, keep your boundaries with him firm and focus on you and your child.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/22 02:07 AM
11

Other things: -Bad at long-term planning -Poor time management skills -Inability to be flexible with contingency plans and/or a sudden change in plans due to an emergency -Lacking in initiative -Unable and/or unwilling to share domestic labor -Won't take care of you when you're sick or in pain -Has unresolved issues from his own childhood, double-whammy if he isn't actively working on them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/22 11:14 PM
21

She's successful in her own right and should be with someone on her level. Russell is also successful. Why should she bankroll a bum?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/22 11:00 PM
11

Future is the poster child of fuckboys and he's still salty that Ciara left and moved on to someone so much better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/22 10:55 PM
3

Seems high value =/= high value With all due respect, you hadn't done enough vetting to know whether he was high value or not and you shouldn't have been okay with going to his place to watch a move and eat takeout for a second date. I'm not trying to be rude when I say this, but read the handbook.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/22 12:21 AM
35

It's a giant pet peeve of mine. Their argumentative nature always has the implicit bias that you can't be right because you're a woman. Also, strong "any attention is good attention" energy. The only way to deal with this brand of manchild is to ignore him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/22 03:44 PM
19

It sounds like you're putting in the necessary steps to heal and change your behavior and that is admirable. Welcome!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/22 01:47 PM
111

Love this for her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/22 01:12 PM
56

This right here! The tides are turning. Women are earning the majority of college degrees, becoming the majority of the work force, becoming homeowners while single, and more and more women are going into business and entrepreneurship. We don't need men for economic security the way our grandmothers did, so we don't need to settle for ugliness inside and out from men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/22 02:47 PM
18

I can't help but laugh so hard at the sentiment of women hitting "the wall." When I was on OLD a couple of years ago, I usually preferred to go out with younger men. The majority of the men my age on there looked terrible! Usually overweight and/or losing their hair.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/22 02:43 PM
8

Ghost. One of the most powerful responses is no response. With social media, this has become much easier. With instagram, you can change your settings so that these people cannot see your stories and restrict their messaging so that it simply looks like it's unseen. You can also do similar things with facebook. It won't take long before they stop trying to reach out to you as they will have other women in their rotation. If you run into them in person, a vague response of being busy should suffi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/22 02:32 PM
9

I'd be looking for a new gym.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/22 02:35 AM
26

The best solution would be to find new living arrangements, but that isn't always possible. If you can't move out, I would grey rock.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/22 02:32 AM
2

He's a liar at best and a narcissist at worst. Either way he's trash and the whole man should be thrown out of your life. Block, delete and read the handbook.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/22 02:24 AM
58

Yes, this kid hasn't been born yet and they've already been tasked with the job of repairing their dad's image.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/22 11:28 PM
12

That's a bummer. Catfishing is what he deserves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 11:22 PM
31

You're definitely better off without him. Rejection was protection in your case. Welcome!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 11:02 PM
24

Yep. I've learned these are both dog whistle terms for men when it comes to women. I would also add "independent" to that list. They're saying they cannot handle conflict in a healthy manner, emotionally unavailable and/or avoidant and that they expect you to "take it" when it comes to any abuse or mistreatment they throw your way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 10:57 PM
44

He knows what it is, he just doesn't use it anywhere other than his peen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 10:54 PM
18

Why are there men out there who feign ignorance about the existence of lotion? Boo hoo, go moisturize.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 10:50 PM
25

He'll definitely whine if friend of the court garnishes his wages.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 10:45 PM
23

His bio screams community dick who doesn't use condoms. He's probably also living with his babymother.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 10:42 PM
22

I really hope that guy is getting catfished by another guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 10:30 PM
37

Nah. Most men are aware of the fact that D pics are only a turn on for gay men. They get a thrill out of going against an established boundary comparable to exhibitionists.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 10:26 PM
65

You already know what to do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 09:50 PM
23

If he isn't cheating, he's getting off on the attention that triangulating his wife and his friend gives him. Toxic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/22 11:22 PM
11

My worst relationship was with a person who was "straight edge" and acted as if abstaining from alcohol and drugs made him a morally superior person. He was also a narcissistic porn addict. That being said, I occasionally smoke weed. I also live in a state where recreational use is legal, so I vet marijuana use in a manner that is comparable to drinking alcohol. From experience, I no longer tell men that I smoke. There are men who will use this as a way to erode your boundaries in the same way t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/22 11:01 PM
22

People like this don't change. They only change the person they're with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/22 02:47 PM
8

To piggy-back on being way too interested in your relationships: They completely stop talking to you/distance themselves when you are in a relationship and suddenly come back wanting to be friends when you're single.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/22 04:23 PM
193

She was the more successful one the majority of the time they were together. Once he made it big with Grey's Anatomy he cheated on her, then divorced her. Even more dirty since he's known for being vocal about standing up for the black community and cheated on his wife with a white woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/22 02:15 PM
176

Since he used her for a come up, he can pay up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/22 02:12 PM
5

Sounds like this guy gets around. I had an ex like him too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/22 03:13 AM
4

That was a really shitty thing for your doctor to say.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/22 11:05 PM
9

I've witnessed this behavior from more than one colleague. They will receive more attention. In part, because they demand it. However, they are not respected. What you want is to build your resume and be respected. Another user has already said it, but I am going to reiterate it in my own comment. Maintain a cool, professional demeanor and be efficient at your job.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/22 11:43 PM
3

He has a very warped idea of an equal distribution of labor. I don't see where he mentions doing anything around the house at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/22 11:19 PM
3

Her reaction says this isn't the first time he's done this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/22 11:16 PM
5

I've seen this before too. It's the ultimate version of settling for less. Can't make a dud a stud.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/22 09:53 PM
11

From my experience, men who I've met who truly acted like allies didn't make a point of talking about how they were feminists or allies or any wokespeak. The men who did that were/are total fuckboys.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/22 09:47 PM
151

It sounds like this woman's boyfriend has a bigger problem with tattoos than his parents do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/22 09:44 PM
15

My thoughts exactly. The class of dude who complains about society not welcoming social interaction doesn't force unwelcome conversation on another man minding his own business in public.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/22 10:51 PM
7

The bar has gone through hell's trap door.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/22 10:46 PM
4

This is the way. They see it as an opportunity to debate and you're giving them attention they don't deserve.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/22 12:28 AM
7

The first time I did this was when a guy tried contacting me after a really bad first (and last) date. He asked me out a second time via text (after calling me twice while I was at work and didn't have the time or inclination for personal calls). I told him I wasn't interested and to leave me alone. Dude went apeshit demanding an explanation. I had already said I wasn't interested and told him to leave me alone, so I blocked him. There doesn't need to be any further explanation. I didn't want my…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/22 11:21 PM
26

That is truly some real hot girl shit. Your mom sounds awesome.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/22 11:11 PM
4

I don't really understand anyone turning resentment and misery into a flex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/22 11:09 PM
10

He sounds very considerate! I love to see it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/22 11:05 PM
69

*Gets a megaphone and shouts from the mountaintops* NO!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/22 11:01 PM
3

Agreed. I've seen how this shit plays out often enough that I know that women lose way more than men do when they play into these games. I'll advise any woman against it if she comes to me for advice, but I'm also not surprised when a woman is dedicated to learning the hard way. I usually attribute it to lack of life experience, insecurity or both. Men who dip their pen into the company ink are the worst kind of community dick. They're both practiced at doing this in previous work environments a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/22 07:05 PM
6

Yikes, I missed the part where this was at work. I wholeheartedly agree that this situation needs to be left alone. I've seen so many dudes form their little narc harems in the workplace and be the source of SO MUCH DRAMA by playing their little triangulation games with women. It is never worth the trouble to end up quitting a position or losing a career opportunity (both of which I've seen happen to women who got involved with men in the workplace). Work is for building your resume and making y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/22 06:15 PM
27

Unless he's asked you out, his "feelings" for you are a moot point. This is drama waiting to happen. I'd ignore them both and keep it moving.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/22 03:11 PM
46

Women as a whole need to protect and value their womb more than they do. We *literally* create life. We don't have babies "out of nowhere" and the overwhelming majority of men don't deserve unprotected sexual access to our bodies. I hope she leaves him. She deserves better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/22 11:49 PM
32

Same! The constant mention of pregames sounds like someone who is still in a college frat house.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/22 11:38 PM
113

What they're referring to as insecurity is a very human reaction to poor treatment. These manosphere/PUA types sound like they're not capable of empathy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/22 11:24 PM
16

I had an acquaintance like this. Initially, I couldn't figure out why I kept finding her sus when it seemed like other people liked her a lot. I later lost touch with her due to circumstances. But, what I could gather is that she was an insecure person who wasn't happy with her position in life based on some of the things she told me in confidence. Also, I knew she had lost a career opportunity as the result of a workplace relationship, though I never told her I found out about it. She did the f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/22 11:42 PM
28

I'm seeing a lot of FDS-type messages online on other social media sites or espoused by people I know. There's a definite shift that's happening.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/22 10:49 PM
7

The only joke is this fucking guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/22 05:05 AM
6

Of course he has a J name
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/22 05:03 AM
5

They're lazy and looking for anything to latch onto to have you make all of the effort.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/22 05:02 AM
119

A man doesn't need to compliment a woman by insulting another woman, only losers do this. If you accept it as a compliment, you'll end up dealing with someone who likes to shift the goal post hoping you'll stay thirsty for their approval. Men like this aren't worth any woman's time or attention.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/22 01:30 AM
11

Is he allergic to soap? That sounds like someone who doesn't bathe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/22 12:59 AM
35

I'm glad she changed her tune about it. She would've put both your safety and hers at risk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/22 12:56 AM
25

I stopped wearing it when quarantine hit because I had to wear a mask at work and I didn't see the point of putting on my pretty highlighters and blushes if I couldn't show them off. When I saw how good my skin started looking and how much more comfortable I was with myself, I was hooked and I barely ever wear makeup anymore (I still like a little sparkle every now and then).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/22 12:31 AM
10

If a man uses words like crazy, toxic, psycho, etc. He is probably lying. Worst case scenario, he experienced what is known as reactive abuse. From experience, men who have been with a woman who is abusive, controlling or dysfunctional don't ever use those words. What you'll hear about the relationship will be about things she did (he might mention that one or both of them sought out counseling, that she was in treatment for addiction, that she hit him, etc.), but he won't label her and he usual…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/22 12:17 AM
13

It's wild to see such a glaring lack of self-awareness. In all of this drivel about women not being interested in him, he never bothered to reflect on his behavior or look in the damn mirror.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/22 11:07 PM
17

-Picking up when you're uncomfortable or don't like something and seeking to resolve it (offering you a jacket when you're cold, noticing when a dish they have cooked is not to your liking and offering to fix it or asking what/how you would have preferred it, etc.) -Listening to you without offering unsolicited advice or judgement. -Actions that show they listen to you and support you. (For example, asking if there's something they can do to make things easier on you if you're having a stressful…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/22 11:28 PM
38

I've gotten that from a few, too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/22 02:25 PM
346

I think it's a good thing if male colleagues are intimidated by you. I've heard I come off as intimidating or unapproachable, but I've found it was usually by men I didn't want to feel comfortable approaching me. People I vibe with don't see it at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/22 01:21 PM
60

She was brilliant.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/22 01:20 PM
10

This is ludicrous. I'm not going to dignify it with a response further than that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/22 04:54 PM
5

Agreed. What a man does with you, he'll do to you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/22 04:40 PM
6

If a guy has to spend that much time, effort and energy to get his life in order he isn't in a space where he should be dating at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/22 02:09 PM
158

Women are socialized to put themselves last, even to our detriment. Men are socialized to put themselves first, even to the detriment of others. Women collectively need to flip the script and start putting ourselves first. Not at the expense or to the harm of others, but in the respect that we deserve so much more than what we've been socialized to accept. ETA: Thanks for the award!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/22 01:57 PM
24

Kanye did all the same shit to Amber Rose and most people didn't say anything about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/22 02:31 AM
10

It's like men who tell you they're a nice guy or how they hate drama.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/22 11:38 PM
7

From my experience they're not open-minded, not flexible and not going to care about you. Thank you for summarizing this experience better than I could.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/22 11:15 PM
391

I wish more parents held their shitty sons accountable. This warms my heart.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/22 11:54 PM
14

Oof, yes. Toxic, emotionally unavailable, immature, attention-seeking and will fill your life with drama and dysfunction unless you kick them to the curb when you see the first red flag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/22 01:57 AM
45

This is not a flex. This is self-sabotage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/22 01:37 AM
13

What they're looking for is a free therapist and to waste your time. Immediate left.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/22 12:37 AM
83

That was my experience too. I found that they repeated the same shit with a different person who was less willing to hold them accountable. They use the next woman and the next relationship to avoid dealing with themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/22 09:09 PM
1

Men in general value their relationships with male friends and colleagues above those of women, regardless of how useful or useless those men are. I think this is also why the dude I work with (Scrote #1) got along so well with his "step-daughter's" boyfriend (Scrote #2), who is a former coworker of mine. Scote #2 is cut from the same cloth and I see where he is using his relationship to his girlfriend and her daughter from a previous marriage as a way to have an image that makes him more appeal…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/22 03:05 PM
1

Putting a standard of boundary in your bio is seen as a challenge to trash men. These are also men who want to roster date, but can't afford it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/22 02:07 PM
2

Yes! To the point where it makes me wonder if men like this are all cut from the same cloth. I noticed he would bring up the relationship in a positive way more often around new colleagues or customers, to make himself look more like a family man. He's badmouthed his partner to several male coworkers of mine, because they would take a certain tone or use certain language when mentioning her (they all know the guy isn't going to marry her). The guy has been divorced for a long time and his daught…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/22 01:33 PM
4

I work with someone almost exactly like this. He's been in a long-term relationship (he's in his mid-fifties) will occasionally say he's "engaged," but most people at work refer to his partner as his girlfriend. I didn't even know about this "engagement" until I had worked with him for two years because he doesn't even call her his fiancee. To the point where another coworker said to his "step-daughter's" face "C'mon, do you really think that's going to happen?" when she mentioned her mom marryi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/22 01:04 AM
1

I know at least a few people who fall into this category. I think whether it falls into the category of settling is based on the age the couple met and/or if there were specific milestones the couple was more focused on achieving (college, career) before marriage. Waiting five years because you're twenty and still finishing up college is very different than being thirty and marrying someone who you can barely tolerate because of the sunk cost fallacy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/22 12:25 AM
2

Unmatch, delete, block.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/22 01:50 AM
77

Exactly! If it's not the fish photo, it's the photo where he stood up in a cousin's wedding three years and twenty pounds ago.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/22 11:02 PM
5

They refuse to do the work to change their behavior for their own sake or anyone else's. In short, awful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/22 10:59 PM
21

The men who have this mentality also believe they don't need to provide for their kids or pay support. So a warehouse job that pays $14.50 an hour is fine, because he's only going to take care of himself. When he gets tired of doing that, he'll be crashing on the couch of his mother or grandmother.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/22 12:56 AM
13

Wow, the scrote wanted to switch to another app while talking to someone about a job opportunity. How professional *eyeroll*
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/22 12:52 AM
3

Had a pickme acquaintance once tell me that I "Just needed to find a good man" without knowing anything about my personal life when I brought up how masculinity is fragile in passing. This is a woman who handed over her paycheck to her ex-husband to pay off his debts who is now with a man who lives in her house and she pays the car note on the vehicle he drives. My sister and I have a mutual friend who is a major pickme who is in forever girlfriend status. She alternates between phases of gushin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/22 12:14 AM
13

I got asked this more often than I care to admit on OLD and SO MANY of these men lived with their parents. Major hobosexual vibes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/22 11:42 PM
14

I briefly dated a guy who worked in the same city as me. He lived an hour away from work and complained about going to my place that was 10-15 minutes away from where I worked (45 minutes to an hour away from where he lived). The area I lived in was nicer than the area he lived in (higher income, more to offer socially/culturally, better restaurants, better schools) and I paid more in rent. He negged me for being "bougie" and once told me "You like to do all these crazy things and I worry that y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/22 11:38 PM
117

Absolute bottom of the barrel losers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/22 11:28 PM
56

She's nineteen! She should be with someone her own age.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/22 11:28 PM
8

More women need to realize that aligning themselves with the expectations of patriarchal socialization won't protect them. Men who hate women hate them too, even if they benefit from the actions of those women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/22 11:16 PM
17

Nailed it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/22 11:07 PM
31

I think most women would love it if lazy, desperate, undeserving men stopped throwing themselves at them and feeling entitled to their time, attention or bodies while offering nothing in return.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/22 11:06 PM
9

If I'm remembering correctly, there were trials being done to approve a male birth control and they were stopped because men complained about side effects.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/22 07:07 PM
4

This is why women should call a supportive woman to help them through an abortion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/22 01:01 AM
2

Yet, scrotes will swear up and down that male privilege doesn't exist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/22 12:55 AM
118

A child free man without a vasectomy is a liar.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/22 12:06 AM
9

If he doesn't want to go on dates, find someone who does.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/22 11:59 PM
16

He's almost ten years older than her and can't secure his own place? She should be throwing him out and getting the locks changed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/22 12:05 AM
3

I left two years ago and have no plans on ever returning.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/22 01:14 AM
8

Is she sure that this is the first time her man was with her friend?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/22 12:41 AM
3

From the ~mOrE lOgICaL~ sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/22 01:33 AM
6

This sounds incredibly objectifying for his significant other.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/22 12:49 AM
7

I think other users here said it best. It's projection. They need us, we don't need them. That's why they don't go their own way, it'd require them to move out of mommy's basement.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/22 11:25 PM
4

Cheers for making a decision that worked in your favor!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/22 11:24 PM
20

If you haven't read it yet, I would recommend The Nice Girl Syndrome by Beverly Engel.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/22 10:15 PM
36

You trusted your gut and handled this so well! You chose yourself and you should be proud of that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/22 05:15 PM
246

There are a lot of men who will also express they want a large number of kids because they are not aware of the physical, emotional, mental and financial toll it takes to carry, birth and raise a child into adulthood. Nor do they believe they should carry any of that responsibility.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/22 05:13 PM
322

You think they'd buy a doll, shut up about us, stop lurking in women's only spaces, and leave us all alone if they truly wanted to "go their own way."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/22 05:03 PM
7

Talking about exes shouldn't be done in the early stages of dating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/22 03:38 PM
9

If you feel uncertain about the move and you don't feel ready to move in with him, don't do it. That's your gut instinct telling you that the situation isn't right for you. Focus on your own success! It sounds like you've done a lot to set up a promising future for yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/22 02:15 PM
26

It's definitely abusive and she should go home with her parents or another trusted person if her family isn't a safe place. She's still a kid who is recovering from major surgery while learning how to be a mom. Staying with this guy will harm her physically, mentally and he might trap her into getting pregnant again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/22 02:06 PM
44

He wants a clean place to take a shower, sleep, kick it and have dinner. But he wants to continue living at his own residence where his expenses are much lower and he's not held accountable for household chores. In other words, he's using this woman to have his cake and eat it too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/22 01:49 PM
143

It's done to orbit your account (looking at your posts and stories without engaging with you) and to boost their own ego.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 10:35 PM
27

Aww, he hasn't figured out that most women have been faking it with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 10:31 PM
53

Ice him out. Don't react, don't engage, don't contact.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 04:06 PM
450

Not brushing or flossing often enough, not going to regular dental checkups, not drinking enough water, not eating any raw fruits or vegetables.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 03:48 PM
12

This is exactly why one of my deal breakers is men who aren't readers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 12:29 PM
5

That last sentence is why women (rightfully) are staying away from him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 04:41 AM
76

If he owns two homes and is looking to buy a third and you are looking to buy your first home, you are not on equal footing with him financially. He should not be asking you to pay rent or bills.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 04:29 AM
2

He could also be co-opting them from channels geared towards hypergamy or other dating and relationship "coaches." That being said, Kevin Samuels is red flag with a platform.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 04:10 AM
10

They're the definition of dish it out but can't take it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 03:56 AM
4

I wouldn't give out my number if we hadn't met in person. If someone had a problem with that, the trash took itself out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 03:52 AM
171

She only dated her ex for nine months and his daughter was calling her mom? His daughter is still a child, but dad should've gotten her therapy a long time ago.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 03:46 AM
39

He sounds whiny and entitled.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/22 01:20 AM
24

Nah, I'd rather cut them loose and keep it moving. Life's too short.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/22 01:19 AM
10

They were fortunate that worse didn't happen to them. That guy was capable of anything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/22 01:11 AM
12

Thanks for taking the time out to write all of this. You are absolutely right! We need to be smarter, more ruthless and know that we are valuable. I watched part of The Tinder Swindler last night and for as accomplished as these women were, they were incredibly desperate and naive. Had they taken a fraction of your advice, they would've been so much better off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/22 01:09 AM
106

This sounds so abusive. She's a child who just had a baby and a c-section is major abdominal surgery.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/22 12:58 AM
40

-Comparing you to their ex, even if it's a comparison that on the surface is favorable to you. (If he's talking about her, he's thinking about her.) -Emotionally unavailable -They want you to change something about your appearance (if you know or meet their ex, you'll see that these things will all be things that would make you look more like her/have more in common with her). -They want to move really fast in the relationship (a sign that this person is using a new relationship in an attempt to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/22 12:42 AM
7

I love this. Thank you for sharing it with us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/22 12:31 AM
7

Each one of these was more disgusting than the next.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/22 12:16 AM
6

She used your photos without consent to make money, she is not your friend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/22 11:32 PM
7

Whew! That's A LOT of internalized misogyny.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/22 10:52 PM
25

This guy definitely still has something going on with "Jane." He manipulated his spouse into a Sister Wife arrangement.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/22 12:06 AM
18

Any time a man is loud and in your face about something (money, dick size, how much he doesn't care about his ex), the opposite is true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/22 11:45 PM
22

Reading this, I struggled to see how he contributed to their family and household in any meaningful way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/22 09:20 PM
5

Reading through this, I think it's safe to say that his ex-wife was the one who filed and that he did very little childcare with his daughter back then as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/22 09:19 PM
11

On top of quitting the job, quit the marriage too. He's a shitty boss and husband.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/22 07:13 PM
1

Assuming this actually happened (which I highly doubt), it does the opposite of making him look more desirable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/22 03:56 PM
2

That's absolutely terrifying. I'm glad Little Sister had you and your BFF in her corner to help her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/22 03:54 PM
13

This sounds like a lot of unresolved trauma.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/22 03:48 PM
5

I love thrifting, but that isn't a date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/22 04:27 PM
36

Tried baiting me to get a negative reaction out of me in attempt to make me look like the problem. Moved onto a new relationship VERY fast. He moved in with the person within weeks, but took years to get married. Did not respect my wishes of no contact and I had to block him on every platform that I knew he had an account, in addition to blocking his phone number. Tried to reach out years later from an account I didn't know he had. I later found out it was a month after he filed for divorce from…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/22 02:39 PM
89

They're already judging him for using this woman, but his head is too far up his own ass to see that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/22 02:12 PM
142

This is true. A lot of parents know their son sucks, but they don't want to be stuck dealing with him again. Mom knows this woman deserves better and that her son needs to learn a lesson.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/22 02:09 PM
30

So she's driving 70-90 minutes in the snow more than once a week for this jerk and this is how he treats her? Putting additional mileage, wear and tear and gas into her vehicle. Not to mention risking her safety. It also sounds like he was living in HER house. I'd kick him out too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/22 02:03 PM
3

Being with someone like this is going to keep you from having more in life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/22 01:24 AM
35

Triangulation bait is so gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/22 01:10 AM
5

I don't know you, but I already like you. You chose to move onward and upward.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/22 01:08 AM
8

Time to abandon the boyfriend. I'm not going to waste words, this "man" is a piece of shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/22 12:03 AM
36

It hurts their ego to see women doing better without them, because they don't want to face the reality that they were holding their partner back.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/22 01:52 AM
52

I swear most men are socialized to have no empathy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/22 01:49 AM
21

Love this for her and you. Welcome!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/22 01:20 AM
3

It's something that always makes me want to laugh. I can't take someone seriously when they do it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/22 12:30 AM
2

I like to cook, but I won't do it in the early dating stages. I wouldn't cook for a man until after he cooked for me. Not being able to cook is a deal breaker.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/22 12:24 AM
7

This is what every married or partnered guy claims.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/22 11:41 PM
18

This is actually a very common thing. Men aren't women. They can't be alone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/22 11:07 PM
82

My mom would've helped me pack my stuff and redecorate my new place.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/22 10:17 PM
2

The emojis were the cherry on top of this shit sundae.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/22 02:35 AM
17

Seven kids with four women? There's no way he's a present and loving dad to any of his kids on a consistent basis. He's just community dick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/22 01:39 AM
15

This is very much how my parents did things as well. My dad worked, my mom stayed home. But with my mom staying home, she managed all the money. My dad has openly told me it's the reason he has good credit and lives a comfortable life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/22 01:22 AM
6

My mom and sister were/are both stay at home wives and mothers. They both work more than I do. Unlike them, I get paid for the overtime I put in. That being said, an ex of mine's mom left the workforce early in her marriage to his dad (she was in her early thirties). She re-entered the workforce when he was a teenager (in her mid to late forties). More than ten years later, she told me still earned $10,000 a year less than she did when she left and during that time period she had also gone back …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/22 12:19 AM
9

Men like this shoot their shot with everyone hoping someone will be willing to have them. It has nothing to do with who you are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/22 12:04 AM
90

If you want to know who a man is, see how he reacts when you tell him "no." You stuck to your boundaries and I'm glad you're safe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/22 12:34 AM
38

It's negging.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/22 10:45 PM
8

I usually took it to mean they were unemployed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/22 10:31 PM
10

Always: -Meet in a public place. -Have your own transportation to and from dates. -Let a trusted friend or family member know your whereabouts. -Have your trusted person check in on you at an agreed-upon time. -Do a quick Google search if you know his first and last name. -Trust your intuition -Frame things as "Do I like him?" rather than "Does he like me?" Never: -Give him your phone number or address. -Go back to his place or yours. -Bring up past trauma or bad relationships -Go on dates where…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/22 10:22 PM
9

The hobosexual knew he was going to lose his meal ticket.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/22 05:49 PM
15

Yes. You're already uncomfortable about it, trust your intuition.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/22 05:39 PM
6

If you listen to their stories, the "fun" they have is contingent upon someone else's plans, effort or money.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/22 02:23 PM
29

They only use their cries about mental health as a derailing tactic in women's conversations about women's issues rather than getting together and creating a solution and caring about each other. They really don't care about their own health or anyone else's.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/22 02:33 PM
9

Dusty
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/22 01:48 PM
10

Research does support the idea that narcissistic people get worse over time. They're incapable of introspection and allergic to accountability. You don't lose anything by no longer having them in your life, but keeping them in your life will cost you everything. From experience, they learn how to initially hide their behavior better with each new relationship and how to manipulate people and situations to try to make their exes look like the problem. But the next person will also deal with their…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 12:26 AM
30

and it's all 100% my fault He got exactly what he deserved for those actions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/22 02:47 AM
18

Wow, that's not even an expensive dinner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/22 01:31 AM
2

A business and houses without a legal agreement? Talk about stupid financial decisions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/22 12:09 AM
2

I think you can only help someone when they want to be helped.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 01:35 AM
12

Once you see it, you see how pervasive it is. Not only Pickme behavior, but patriarchal culture.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 01:18 AM
21

When I was on OLD, I was shocked how many men my age (or older) were living with their parents. I'm in my early thirties.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 01:10 AM
6

I think it's his personality that's rubbing women the wrong way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 12:58 AM
4

He's definitely an "any attention is good attention" person and you deserve better than having your energy drained.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 11:13 PM
14

The common denominator is him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 07:41 PM
14

She's doing better in life than he is and he resents her for it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 07:36 PM
4

It sounds like she knows what he wants and he isn't it. Of course he's going to make it out to be a personal failing on her part when he whines to his internet sycophants.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 07:32 PM
36

Translation: I'm selfish, chronically emotionally unavailable and used my wife's body to masturbate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 07:27 PM
13

Yep. From my experience, people who are secure in their life choices don't need you to validate theirs by mirroring them back. They're okay with you living your life, even if it means living your life differently.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 07:24 PM
10

Don't engage. When you feel safe to do so, block and delete.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 03:53 PM
33

Hell, my best friend will buy me dinner when I drive out to visit her knowing that I live in a different city than her almost an hour away. Someone I'm dating needs to treat me either just as good as she does or better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/22 01:35 AM
37

Yes, I'm seeing it a lot in my social circles. I think a lot of women have had a perspective shift as the result of the pandemic and subsequent lock downs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/22 01:11 AM
11

I absolutely love the exchange between these two women. The blame was put exactly where it belonged.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/22 11:59 PM
27

He got caught cheating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/22 11:57 PM
43

Dude is a predator, she needs to save herself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/22 11:56 PM
8

The last time I had to hear a man say he didn't think that women should have short hair, I told him that it's a good thing he isn't a woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 01:10 PM
22

Yes, this is why not reading for pleasure is a deal breaker for me. It demonstrates a lack of curiosity, a lack of desire in self-improvement, and in seeking out a perspective outside of yourself (reading fiction enhances empathy).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 01:01 AM
21

Agreed, I'm the same way. I've been on several dates where it was awkward because there was a major clash in our humor.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 12:53 AM
14

He should've been cancelled when it came out that he was talking to Millie Bobby Brown when she was fourteen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 11:17 PM
14

The hobosexual is strong with this one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 10:58 PM
10

I feel sorry for his kid. That's some irresponsible parenting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 10:51 PM
9

The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. He'll talk a big game about you being different, but he'll do the same things to you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 10:35 PM
3

This creature is disturbed. The first red flag was his request for the woman to teach him. It went nothing but downhill from there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 10:27 PM
207

Is a self-described "picky eater" and/or doesn't eat fruits and vegetables. Doesn't think women are funny and/or doesn't like any comedian that is a woman. He has a strong negative reaction to women in leadership roles that is not related to a disagreement in policy. He doesn't read for pleasure. Refers to women as "girls" or "females" Describes themselves as a "homebody" Doesn't believe women should have short hair
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 09:21 PM
3

This reminds me of that episode of Shameless when Lip and Tammy reconnect with her old teacher and find out he's engaged to a teenager.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 01:39 AM
3

She had to learn the hard way, but at least she learned.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/22 11:18 PM
41

It makes sense, women tend to have a wider social support network and more close friends to lean on during tough times.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/22 09:50 PM
192

I once went on a date with a guy who talked about how he "used to be a fuckboy" and described his last relationship and some of his behavior towards his ex-girlfriend sounded controlling. When he messaged me the next day saying "Thoughts about last night?" I told him I had no plans on ever seeing him again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/22 09:28 PM
7

Congrats! Your ring is beautiful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/22 09:09 PM
15

This also explains why a relationship between two people I once worked with left such a bad taste in my mouth. She would order or pack lunch for both of them, she paid his car note (even though he earned more than her), he told another co-worker of ours that she was "teaching him how to save money" (once again, he earned more than her), she cooked and cleaned more than he did, she bought him expensive gifts. It seemed more like she was his mom than his girlfriend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/22 06:06 PM
14

*gags* Dude needs to get into therapy, rehab or both before he even thinks about online dating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/22 05:25 PM
25

This is handbook worthy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/22 05:06 PM
10

It's one thing to think this. It's another to embarrass yourself by posting it online.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/22 04:59 PM
3

That's toxic as hell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/22 02:51 PM
70

This is why HVM have no problem with FDS and LVM do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/22 02:50 PM
20

How irresponsible with money is this guy that she's paying half (or more) of his bills and he's still too cash-strapped to take her out to dinner? He knows what day her birthday is. He had a whole year to put a little bit away every month. That being said, I wouldn't have said anything negative about the cake because his daughter helped make it. I would've thanked them both, then made my exit strategy since it's obvious her needs are not (if they were ever) met in the relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/22 12:10 AM
80

Same. Once they're blocked, I stop thinking about them. It makes moving on and healing so much easier.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 11:55 PM
43

It really is!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 11:49 PM
13

I think people having to write a think piece in a comment section about how another person chooses to implement their own boundaries is bizarre. [Edit: Reading through more of the comments, this person actually went out of their way to blow up an inbox over this. My point still stands.] That being said, I block people when I no longer want them in my life because I've found that there were people who would still "orbit" my social media accounts if I didn't. Protecting my energy meant cutting off…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 11:47 PM
17

Set those boundaries, Mama. My mom doesn't suffer fools and she'd make it crystal clear that she would not be bankrolling this nonsense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 03:30 PM
3

Did he think you wouldn't notice the discrepancy? He's dishonest and sounds insecure as hell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 12:23 AM
5

I don't even know where to start regarding how this disgusts me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 12:20 AM
12

They want to see if you'll respond to intermittent reinforcement (the same thing that gets people addicted to gambling), don't fall for it. If someone wants to ghost, let them stay among the dead.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/22 02:50 AM
10

All of this tells me that Lisa Bonet put up with a lot of shit and I hope she finds peace and healing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/22 02:22 AM
785

I know this is supposed to be profound, but I can't derive much meaning from this word salad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/22 01:22 AM
7

Even in America where we don't have universal healthcare, therapy is usually cheaper than his weed habit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 02:19 AM
1

He sounds horrible. Glad it was a one and done for you, OP.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 02:15 AM
75

Yes, always. I learned the hard way that ignoring my intuition is a bad idea.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/22 11:34 PM
1

It was validating when I was working on myself and refining my boundaries with dating and I found that I was able to better vet people and walk away at the first red flag and/or signs of incompatibility. I'm a lot more judicious about who deserves my energy these days.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/22 02:28 PM
10

-Does he make effort to move the conversation forward? -Does he interrupt or talk over people? -How does he handle disagreement or differences of opinion? -Does he offer to help, clean up or bring something to the dinner (wine, dessert, etc.)? In other words, how does he show his gratitude to the host.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/22 02:17 PM
16

My personal favorite: A guy sending me the message "Still alive?" when I didn't respond right away to his low-effort, dry ass conversation bid. That being said, this person's behavior towards you is definitely manipulative and he sounds immature. I'd block and delete.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/22 01:44 PM
103

What they're really after is duping delight.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/22 12:08 AM
331

Ew, no effort is unattractive and a deal-breaker.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/22 11:48 PM
21

We're not jealous. We're concerned for the younger women who don't know, because we've had it happen to us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/22 09:54 PM
266

They really are clueless.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/22 09:51 PM
80

*Lucille Bluth Good For Her gif*
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/22 09:50 PM
59

Three months, but that's usually around the time that commitment is established. From stories I've heard from other women, it can be traced to specific relationship "milestones" (becoming exclusive, moving in together, getting engaged/married, buying property, having children--when a LVM knows he's "got" you).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/22 04:02 PM
15

You're a force of nature! Your kids will grow up seeing that women are amazing because they had a mom who showed them by being amazing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/22 01:56 AM
267

This reminds me of the one time my mom told me that men should always work outside the home because otherwise "they get lazy."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/22 02:23 PM
4

This is handbook worthy. Thanks for taking the time out to write this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/22 01:01 AM
11

You outlined SO MANY of my interactions with men to a T.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/22 12:48 AM
42

Trash, throw the whole man away. I wish you a full and swift recovery!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/22 06:24 PM
193

This is awesome. He's got an eye for design and he wanted her night to be magical.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/22 05:41 PM
122

The happiest women I've known in my life were single and childless. The data also supports this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/22 03:40 PM
3

That's a giant red flag. If he's lying about his own children, what else is he capable of keeping from her? She should dump him, stat.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/22 03:36 PM
7

I love the use of a natal chart to verify someone's age. Most men aren't into astrology, so it's a good bullshit detector.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/22 03:32 PM
3

You were fully in the right and I'm proud of you for doing everything in your power to protect your friend. An ex is an ex for a reason and no one is entitled to know a person's whereabouts once the relationship has ended.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/22 03:20 PM
11

The last person to say this to me had multiple felonies, wasn't paying child support and hadn't seen his son in over a year. Also, to quote someone who knew both of us "He's only thirty-five? He needs to drink more water." All of it is low value men projecting. High value men have no problem with my standards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/22 02:34 PM
256

Same here. As soon as I find out there's a big age difference, I cannot look at them as someone to connect with romantically or sexually. There's too big of a difference in life experience and maturity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/22 08:25 PM
27

These are also usually the same men who don't pay support or complain about how their ex took them to court in order to make them pay it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/22 08:07 PM
13

Yep, it's all jealousy and projection. The best way to deal with it is to ignore it, as it has everything to do with who they are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/22 05:31 PM
27

I couldn't tell you, they're all blocked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/22 05:27 PM
82

Most men who claim an ex is keeping their kid from them are lying. You were in the right to leave if you were being singled out and attacked when other people agreed with your opinion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/22 05:22 PM
18

This guy sounds like a walking, talking red flag. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/22 03:09 PM
49

How you get them, is how you lose them. People who start dating when they're "separated," "staying for the kids," or "sleeping in separate bedrooms" are monkey branchers. They need to have someone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/21 02:46 PM
7

Take the number he gave and divide it by ten, that was the actual number.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/21 12:49 AM
15

It is. He doesn't even know these women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/21 12:48 AM
6

You haven't even gone out with this guy and he's already pushing against your boundaries, it's only going to get worse from here. Block and delete.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/21 11:19 PM
3

This sounds like it's fake and/or her husband is on the downlow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/21 01:31 AM
1

This is true. Also, given that we don't live in a world where men and women have the same social and economic power, men sacrifice far less when they do choose to help a woman financially.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/21 12:16 AM
3

All of this. You broke it down better than I could.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/21 12:14 AM
21

He expresses distaste regarding something about your lifestyle (neighborhood you live in, hobbies, clothing brand(s), restaurants you frequent) because he thinks it costs too much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/21 11:57 PM
6

He hasn't figured out that everything he's put in his profile makes him the opposite of appealing. .
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/21 11:23 PM
11

This guy writes like he's borderline illiterate. On top of that, he sounds like he has an awful personality.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/21 11:19 PM
9

Given that you have no intention on dating at this point in time, no. You can implement your standards and healthy boundaries in friendships, work relationships and the like.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/21 12:04 AM
3

I kept wondering if this was a man LARP-ing when I read this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 11:26 PM
62

Exactly, he's the common denominator.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 11:22 PM
40

If all of the women this guy is with are starfishing, he is putting in only a fraction of the work he is claiming to be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 11:15 PM
7

Only one of my exes didn't move on to another relationship right away. Literally the exception rather than the rule.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 11:00 PM
19

Season three has flashbacks of Joe being bullied at a group home and many of the viewers see his wife as being less sympathetic even though she acts just like Joe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 03:32 PM
103

This is a bad idea. The money she's putting towards improving his financial situation is money she's taking away from improving her own.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 03:07 PM
11

They know there's a life experience and power imbalance in both instances. This is an example of a man telling on himself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/21 11:46 PM
28

This is the same camp of dudes who will collectively REE REE REEEEE when women say that dad bods and unwashed ass aren't attractive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/21 02:04 PM
11

The only person I trust to buy me perfume is my mom. She knows what I like and we smell good in all the same scents, so she can test one on herself if she isn't sure if I've tried one before.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 11:03 PM
37

An ex of mine dumped me for refusing to drop out of college and to move in with him (active military, stationed in another state). I later found out that he was stringing along at least two other women behind my back and seeing which of us was the biggest doormat. He quickly moved in with one of the other women, then tried messaging me to see him when he was on leave a few months later. I told him to stay out of my life, then blocked his number.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 10:36 PM
11

Agreed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 05:21 PM
133

Isn't this the type of jewelry that high school girls buy for themselves with their babysitting money?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 04:19 PM
121

Men like this use their "moodiness" as a tool to control you and to manipulate you into jumping through hoops to please them. The goal post will continue to get shifted, they treat women as objects and they're the type who will normally triangulate more than one woman for an ego boost because they hate themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 04:04 PM
56

One thing men need to get when it comes to dating: Women are the ones who choose. If you want to be chosen, you have to take initiative. Dazzle me or get left in the dust. This guy needs to realize, what he won't do someone else will. When I was on OLD, I never initiated with men. Why? I was too busy vetting the men who initiated contact with me. I didn't have the time or inclination to entertain the men who didn't talk to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 03:42 PM
11

Took some extra vacation time. Went out with a friend to a jazz bar to watch a band perform while we enjoyed some amazing food and good wine. Cooked some of my favorite comfort food dishes. Went on a mini road trip where I thrifted some nice leather boots for a steal, bought some new crystals and incense, enjoyed the local art scene and took myself out to dinner. Upgraded my blender. Read several books. Treated myself to some Christmas gifts. A beautiful red dress, a blouse, some wide-leg sweate…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 02:07 AM
3

He planned on trying to get you to go to his place (or yours) after date three and you flipped the script. You didn't do anything wrong and you're better off not wasting any more time on him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 02:29 PM
7

She straight up dumpster dived.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 02:02 PM
20

Many cult leaders have higher than average levels of narcissism, so do a lot of LVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 02:02 PM
9

No, sometimes the guy is low-effort and boring.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 01:43 PM
12

A good man is a provider for his offspring and would be happy that his children were served first.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/21 11:10 PM
3

I've known more women to rush into relationships shortly after divorce or breakup (less than a year) than those who waited until their children were adults (only one) or who haven't dated seriously and have no interest in it (only one). I had one male friend who was separated and was looking to date someone new while he was still living with his wife. We're no longer friends. I can't say what the ideal timeline is because I don't plan on ever having kids. But as adults, any parent needs to be ab…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/21 10:09 PM
26

Seven years and two kids? He already knows you're not the one. Dump him, sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/21 01:53 PM
123

This guy's silence is consent. His friend is a grown man grooming a child less than half his age. He's condoning the relationship by saying nothing and socializing with this couple. Men need to think more carefully about what they are choosing NOT to take a stance against and what that says about the content of their character instead of tap dancing around the feelings of their bros.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/21 05:34 PM
74

To think, after all of that, Hailey married that dirty dog.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/21 03:39 PM
87

There's no correlation with height. The most well-endowed man I have had sex with was only 5'9''. That being said, a good makeout session and/or seeing him in basketball shorts/sweatpants should give you an idea as to what he's packing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/21 10:03 PM
1

Above everything, I expect that gifts I receive have effort and thoughtfulness behind them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/21 02:57 PM
11

Hell to the no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/21 02:46 PM
22

Saavy Sisters? Finance Femmes? Level-Up Ladies?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/21 08:14 PM
5

Women should never "take turns" with men on financial or career support unless your turn happens first (even then, I'd proceed with caution). If you build him up, he won't return the favor.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/21 07:45 PM
6

I tried OLD for a few months and both of those things were a contributing factor to my decision to leave.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/21 12:10 AM
13

It's possible that it has something to do with the fact that women are leaving in droves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/21 11:02 PM
12

"I don't know" is a no. You did the right thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/21 10:58 PM
30

There's truth to this. I like myself more when I'm single.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/21 10:43 PM
34

Communion: The Female Search for Love
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/21 10:28 PM
34

All About Love is one of the most read books in my collection. It changed my life. I'm so grateful for her existence and work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/21 10:22 PM
21

I walk away from them. At this point, I don't care whether they assume I didn't hear them or not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/21 12:25 AM
1

Okay, Joe Goldberg.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/21 12:22 AM
5

You had a major life glow-up and have shown your daughters that women are powerful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/21 12:15 AM
33

The behavior of breaking down a strong person to mold them into a two-dimensional fantasy is inherently predatory. It's reminding me of that Doc Antle special on Netflix where he brainwashes all these beautiful women to be slaves in his Tiger sex cult.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/21 12:58 AM
10

Hell. No.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/21 12:20 AM
36

For me, it raises the question as to why a third party is trying to facilitate an outing between me and that person. Is it because I am a good fit for this person and this is an opportunity to see that or is it because there's something wrong with this person that they cannot go out and date people without someone else's help?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/21 04:12 PM
95

This makes me feel justified for snooping in people's bathrooms.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/21 04:05 PM
17

Let them think what they want because I know they're wrong. Laugh to myself when they're put in their place over it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/21 03:35 PM
40

Agreed. I have zero plans on having children, but I'll still fight for women that do because the deck is stacked against us as a whole.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/21 11:03 PM
71

This is so true. An ex of mine's mom left the workforce after she married his dad to be be a SAHM and went back into the workforce when he was a teenager. After more than ten years of being back at work, she told me she still made $10,000 a year less than she did when she left and had no retirement savings. We have to protect our coin and our womb because it costs us too much not to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/21 10:51 PM
85

No way he's twenty-eight. He looks like he's the same age as my dad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/21 10:41 PM
20

This dude couldn't even hide all his wrinkles with that filter.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/21 10:41 PM
10

Could be narcissistic fleas.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 12:51 AM
4

Translation: She wouldn't sleep with him. She's probably also more attractive than him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 12:01 AM
5

It's a no for me. My friends put in more effort when planning to get together for dinner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 11:49 PM
4

Yep, I've had a shitty guy get big mad when he found out I was seeing other people and didn't want to rush into a relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 11:47 PM
9

Exactly! Men outnumber women on OLD at least 3:1. They know it's far easier for us to get matched to someone and go on dates.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 11:35 PM
6

From experience, these are usually men who are painfully aware that they have fewer options than you do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 11:31 PM
2

This is why I stick to dating multiple people before having a conversation about being exclusive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 11:31 PM
16

If you ever go on a trip, out on a date or spend time together for any occasion--know that he will leave all the planning up to you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 11:15 PM
2

Immediate swipe left.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 11:09 PM
4

I like my name the way it is. I won't change it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 11:03 PM
23

Exactly. Ask Betty Broderick how well that worked for her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 10:47 PM
10

Is Derrick having a harder time cheating on his wife now that he's been exposed?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 03:11 AM
15

Failing to acknowledge that women (more often than not) work outside the home, then come home and work some more. That being said, my dad was an actual hard working man. He worked 6-7 days a week building his career from nothing when I was a little girl, but still had time for his wife and daughters because that's what he wanted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 01:10 AM
8

Maybe Hank can loan him some butt boobies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 12:03 AM
8

Ugh, he's so gross looking. The twenty-something model girlfriends just make him look worse. Here's this gorgeous woman with...that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 12:01 AM
4

I see you've met my ex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/21 11:31 PM
36

An ex of mine tried to tell me that the U.S. had a higher percentage of people diagnosed with bipolar disorder than depression. One of my degrees is in psychology.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/21 12:40 AM
63

I had this same experience as well. The majority of the men I know in my age group (30+) who are single would regularly complain about how they had fewer options than women of the same age.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/21 11:59 PM
37

-Number one for any girl or woman: prioritize yourself, your plans, your dreams and your life before romance, dating or relationships. The only relationship you will have forever is the one you have with yourself. -If you don't know, the answer is no. This is a two-way street. If someone likes you, you will know. If they don't, you will be confused. The same applies to how you feel about someone and whether you're ready for a deeper commitment or to engage in anything sexual, up to and including…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/21 10:41 PM
4

They seemed to taper off on Connor sleeping with literally every gay dude he comes across in order to succeed at assignments in Anneliese's class once him and Oliver were a couple, but he would end up fucking everything on Humpr any and every time they were on the rocks. Negative stereotyping all the way. Don't even get me started on what a mess Anneliese and Laurel's relationships were.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/21 08:16 PM
20

I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. There's no such thing as a former player or fuckboy. If a man alludes to past behavior like this, he has a reputation of acting this way or he is bold enough to actually say he acted like this--walk away. He doesn't see women as people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/21 08:10 PM
13

Same, I liked Mellie a lot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/21 07:57 PM
13

Absolutely hated all of Olivia Pope's relationships in Scandal, the relationships in Grey's Anatomy drove me up a wall (I would *almost* make an exception for Maggie and Winston--but there's more than a few things I took issue with when they got together), and I spent a lot of time rolling my eyes over the dating/hookups of everyone in How to Get Away with Murder.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/21 07:55 PM
33

That character Chris Farley played on SNL wasn't supposed to be aspirational.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/21 07:32 PM
2

Congratulations on your success and cutting off the dead weight. May you and your business continue to grow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/21 02:42 PM
7

He sounds boring as hell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/21 02:05 AM
9

Good for her! I hope she's doing well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/21 04:04 PM
9

Not bringing gifts is fine, but he should've made the offer to help her clean instead of having you do so. You were his guest as well as hers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/21 03:11 PM
3

Part of me wants to cheer this girl on for looking out for dad's girlfriend and part of me feels awful that she feels she has to because her dad isn't prioritizing her well-being.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 11:48 PM
27

He's wasted enough of your time. Block and delete.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 11:44 PM
9

He has a lot of gall saying that being with a woman who is out of his league.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 10:37 PM
29

They don't like when you take yourself out of the rotation and/or are no longer available as a fallback plan when they're rejected by someone else. It's selfish and immature behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 12:29 AM
62

He goes there frequently and doesn't want to be outed as the town bicycle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/21 02:43 PM
12

Yes, there are men who are willing to wait until you're ready. Those who aren't worthwhile or respectful usually show themselves around the third date (it's not foolproof, but it does weed out a lot of trash).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/21 11:41 PM
5

Exactly. It shows poor preparation/planning and possible hobosexual tendencies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/21 11:29 PM
30

He deserves a dishonorable mention in the Scrote Hall of Shame.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/21 10:42 PM
54

Not to mention, Rusty Yates wanted to move on to someone else and have more kids after all of that happened.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/21 06:04 PM
10

Those are all definitely red flags. I'd cut my losses as soon as I heard that he works for daddy's company and wants his significant other to work side-by-side with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/21 05:56 PM
101

Yes, I do this as well. A guy is competing with my own company, and I enjoy my own company. I have a busy and interesting life. If he isn't going to put in effort, then buh-bye.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/21 05:53 PM
27

Block and delete. Being careless about Covid and maintaining employment are big enough red flags that you don't need to go out with him to see what other ones he'll display.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/21 05:49 PM
155

No response is a response, and it's a powerful one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/21 08:39 PM
61

I've cut off the majority of the ones I had for a variety of reasons. Either they were drama, toxic, or incapable of truly showing up the way my friends who were women did. I wasn't particularly close with any of them, so this was pretty easy to do. My life is a lot better as the result of it. At this point in my life, I'm only open to friendships with women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/21 08:29 PM
4

Separated is still married, period.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/21 03:28 PM
10

Gomez and Morticia have always been goals.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/21 03:00 PM
9

Yep. It's very "How dare you have your own preferences, it makes it too hard for me to project my fantasies/expectations onto you."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/21 02:59 PM
10

If memory serves me correctly, he is diagnosed as having BPD and this pattern is common with that personality disorder due to avoiding real/perceived abandonment. That being said, him "dating" Kim Kardashian was devised in Momager Kris' head to distract from the Kylie/Travis Astroworld debacle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/21 02:49 PM
13

Are you me? I also present super girly but love punk and metal because I was an angry, angsty teen. Forever get weird stares at shows.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/21 02:46 PM
5

Your clothing vibe sounds amazing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/21 02:44 PM
37

We're never allowed to like what we like. It all comes down to men not seeing us as people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/21 02:36 PM
39

He wrote a whole novel to say he's a vapid, broke fuckboy who wants girlfriend benefits from whatever women don't know better than to stay away from him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/21 03:19 PM
2

*Stands up and applauds* We need to stop teaching these men how to manipulate us better. I understand the desire to have the last word or to clap back at someone, but it ultimately isn't worth your energy. Block, delete and live your best life. Actions speak louder than words.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 01:33 AM
3

Looking at that toilet made me feel physically ill. Unless you're getting paid or it's your own child who doesn't know better, never clean a male's shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 01:22 AM
24

He's dead weight. He'll do nothing but drag her down.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 01:20 AM
123

A younger, newer, bouncier Cool Girl.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 01:19 AM
4

Busy people make time for what matters to them. I wouldn't give it more than 24 hours.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/21 11:48 PM
145

This is why we should avoid sleeping with men who have children by more than one woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 11:58 PM
19

Same thing when they drive one of those jacked up trucks with the obnoxious LEDs on them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 11:55 PM
1

Block and delete. No response is a response.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 05:01 PM
10

These are people who probably do this to everyone. They look for something they can use to make themselves feel better or superior to another person because they are unhappy. It's very weird, miserable energy. Know that it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. Ignore it, don't feed into it and distance yourself from people like this if needed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 04:58 PM
21

I'm not sure. But the only people I've known who liked receiving them were gay men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 06:37 PM
13

This guy is definitely married and looking to cheat.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 04:51 PM
14

This guy is a loser. She's better off leaning on her friends and family while she continues to process her grief. All this guy is going to do is hurt her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 04:42 PM
9

This reminds me hearing a woman I know talk about plans for her birthday and what her boyfriend wasn't doing for her. She did the whole low-maintenance Cool Girl TM thing and said "Oh, birthdays are no big deal for us. We just get each other a bottle of whiskey." This is coming from a woman who allows her boyfriend to live in her house (rent free) and is paying the car note on his truck and he won't even take her out to dinner on her birthday. I had to do everything I could to not scream because…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 04:04 PM
22

I don't avoid dating outside of my own race. But the vetting is different, especially if there are differences in culture or religion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 03:36 PM
38

The last guy I dated did exactly that. I ended up catching a glimpse of what could've happened if I was a person with weaker boundaries and hoo boy, I dodged a bullet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/21 12:17 AM
16

Definitely! If Beck had vetted, she wouldn't have gotten with Joe at all. Not to mention, she probably would've sought out a female therapist who wasn't predatory towards her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/21 11:45 PM
19

No, there are men who will admit that you're too good for them and they'll treat you like shit because being with you reminds them of what they don't like about themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/21 11:31 PM
19

I've been told different versions of this, primarily by men. It's always a compliment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/21 03:44 AM
23

We love to see it. I'm glad you upgraded to the relationship you want and deserve.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/21 03:33 PM
16

Say no to Struggle Love.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/21 03:27 PM
12

Bad at foreplay and can't keep it up are both dealbreakers for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/21 02:54 PM
39

Gatekeeping is the worst.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/21 02:50 PM
24

I once worked with a guy who had multiple women feuding with each other over situations that he created. I felt like I was crazy because I was one of the few people who saw it for what it was, while everyone else blamed the women who were later fired or quit because of his shenanigans. That being said, all women should avoid starting relationships (romantic or sexual) in the workplace. It will ruin your professional reputation and make you the butt of jokes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/21 01:44 AM
14

At this point in my life, I see it from a mile away. "Cool girl" or comparable adjectives (easy-going, understanding, low-maintenance) are not compliments.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/21 01:41 AM
23

Yikes, the astounding lack of self-awareness and constant, desperate need to be the center of attention is embarrassing and sounds exhausting. At the very least, it sounds like you need a major break from this woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/21 12:55 AM
1

That's how an ex of mine ended up with a younger sister. His mom ended up getting a tubal, but she should've gotten a divorce.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/21 01:56 AM
2

Do men not understand that the only people who find D pics appealing are other men?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/21 01:45 AM
152

Also, if a guy's mom seems too enthusiastic about a woman he is with, it can be a red flag. Especially with guys like this, mommy knows her son sucks and she wants to make him another woman's problem. ETA: Thanks for the award!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/21 01:43 AM
31

He writes about her like he hates her, which he probably does. I hope she leaves him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/21 01:31 AM
4

I don't want to see this many red flags unless I'm at a circus.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/21 01:27 AM
6

I don't remove my pubic hair beyond trimming, but I understand that there are people who prefer to wax or shave. I would say if its done for your own preferences, it's fine. Doing it for someone else is not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 01:08 PM
7

They pit two people against each other to make themselves feel important. It's zero value behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/21 10:44 PM
364

-Judge him by his actions, not by his words. -The older boy who notices you doesn't do so because he thinks you're smart or mature. -If a guy is truly mature, he'll go for someone his own age. -If you know or meet his mother, pay attention to how he treats her. -You do not have to be nice to everyone. If someone makes you uncomfortable or treats you poorly, you do not have to brush it off or allow it. Being a "bitch" can literally save your life. -Don't give the time of day to any boy who uses y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/21 11:46 PM
5

Exactly
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/21 01:30 PM
12

I've had very short and very long hair. In general, I love having short hair and describe myself as a "short hair person." It's less maintenance for me and highlights the bone structure of my face. I've had very polarized reactions whenever I've worn my hair short. I now use it as a test. If someone has something to say about women having short hair, it's a no. The same way I have curly hair and it's a no if I hear some version of "You would look better if you straightened your hair."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/21 01:29 PM
6

A limited palate at the very least shows he's not open minded.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/21 11:44 PM
48

For the same reason there are some men who don't like when women wear their hair short, there are men who expect you to "perform" femininity up to their standards and not yours.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/21 11:39 PM
2

The last person I met with that tattoo had been incarcerated multiple times.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/21 10:55 PM
94

-"Only God can judge me." = He's a hoe and/or he's had history of standing in front of a judge. -The chess piece of the king, a crown, the word king. = He probably has an ex with the complementary queen tattoo. -Tattoos of a woman's name that isn't his mother or daughter. = Impulsive -Tattoo of his mother's name. = He has mommy issues. -Tear drops, 88, lightning bolts = gang or Neo Nazi affiliation -Anything related to a language, religion or way of life that he doesn't belong to or only has ver…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 11:59 PM
10

I've noticed that a lot of guys marry when the people in their social circle start marrying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 11:34 PM
126

I've worked with men like this. When they feel really comfortable, they express that they don't see their girlfriends as marriage material. They stay in the relationship solely because they benefit from it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 11:22 PM
3

I'm only speaking from my own experience, but I lived with a boyfriend one time and I would never do it again (with my ex, expenses were split based on income). I also very much live by the maxim that I'm single until I'm married.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 11:08 PM
13

I don't have one. Several dudes unmatched me so fast when I told them that. The trash took itself out (probably looking to cheat, since messages can be deleted after 24 hours).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 11:04 PM
18

I once had a guy on OLD open up with "You look like a liberal." I'm not even sure what that means. Blocked and deleted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 11:02 PM
10

It's so unattractive. A part of self care is putting in maintenance for your bodily health and quality of life. Dental cleanings, checkups, eye exams, therapy (if needed). At this point in my life, it's a deal breaker.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/21 10:03 PM
91

I once went to the bathroom and claimed a friend called me with a personal crisis and that I was leaving to take care of them. A friend actually texted me asking me to come over to hang out and eat homemade cheesecake and I preferred that over listening to the dude continue to talk about himself. I would recommend always having your own transportation to and from a date and/or the ability to quickly arrange transportation in the case you need to make an exit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/21 09:45 PM
2

Love this for you! Having boundaries and standards works.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/21 06:05 PM
12

You're incredibly brave and I'm glad you're coming out on the other side and healing. You are a warrior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/21 04:15 PM
13

He's a creep. He sexualized Eminem's (then) underage daughter.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/21 05:13 PM
22

Nope. At best, I'll assume you're boring. At worst, I'll think you're socially inept. Either way, I won't stay interested.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/21 02:49 PM
35

What a creep! You did the right thing. I know I would've laughed in his face before blocking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/21 09:24 PM
4

This, too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 01:24 AM
25

I have yet to meet a Pick Me who is genuinely happy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/21 11:47 PM
18

Don't ignore your intuition. Something will "feel off" when you're with them or when you listen to them. -When they agree with you, it will seem too enthusiastic and/or like they're reading from a script. -They agree with you on too many things and/or they are inconsistent about their preferences in an attempt to mirror you. -If you surprise them with disagreement about something, they'll backpedal. Usually because they overshot their assumptions when trying to mirror you. -He tells a lot of whi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/21 11:11 PM
4

I love that song.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 01:42 AM
3

Thank you for taking the time to write this, as seeing how a man interacts with other women is a great vetting strategy. Not to mention, I love your writing style! You definitely won the evening's prize, you got to enjoy a home cooked meal, champagne and a peaceful home.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 12:50 AM
2

Any attention is good attention to these types. I just ignore them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 12:46 AM
106

-Pushes for a commitment quickly -Compares you to his ex (even if he's saying you're better than her, it's not a compliment -- he is triangulating you with her) -He seems to like everything you like and/or appears to be trying to tell you what he thinks you want to hear (this is called mirroring - narcissistic people use this when love bombing). -Tells his family about you very quickly and/or pushes you to meet them after only a few dates. Even more of a red flag if he doesn't live with his pare…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 12:27 AM
6

Not all heroes wear capes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 03:07 PM
13

Ew, trying to manipulate you with pity and divert attention away from his actions and make the focus about his feelings. Kick him to the curb.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 03:05 PM
3

That's awesome. I love a good Glow Up story.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 03:04 PM
69

No, I wouldn't give out my number or socials. If he unmatched, the trash took itself out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 03:02 PM
10

Married men on average live longer than single men. Single women on average live longer than married women. Women are less likely to stay in a relationship just to avoid being alone. Their longevity literally depends upon us settling. They're aware of it, and they're mad as hell about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/21 07:02 PM
30

This right here. I dated two men who liked cats and both were low-effort types. Both described dogs as being "too needy."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/21 06:40 PM
6

Things that I found useful before I started block and delete: -Removing contact information from my phone. It's harder to reach out to someone if their number isn't easily retrievable. -Making the person's social media profiles less visible/accessible to me when I was logged into my accounts. Either through muting, hiding, unfollowing or snoozing. A person would take up much less mental space if I wasn't aware of their online activity. -Not staying logged into social media accounts on my phone. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/21 06:35 PM
31

Dump him. He won't pull his weight in the relationship and you won't have a partner who protects and supports you in him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/21 09:03 AM
9

He doesn't think women are funny
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/21 08:29 AM
5

If he wasn't stringing you along, he's already in a committed relationship and looking to cheat. Regardless, his behavior is a reflection of his character and you were in the right to cut it off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/21 11:10 PM
3

Yes to all of this. I loved Paris and Lane as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/21 11:03 PM
3

Her boyfriends were all terrible in different ways. It's too hard to pick one as being the worst.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/21 10:59 PM
16

I would've told her not to bring him. But I also only invited boyfriends to social settings with my friends if my friends were already open to it (a group hangout) and/or we were invited as a couple (dinner or parties). My friends do the same regarding their significant others.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/21 10:53 PM
6

Nail right on the head. Thank you for taking the time to break it down for us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/21 10:49 PM
13

This reminds me of how a coworker of mine was talking about how she bought her boyfriend a truck and saying it like she was proud of herself. He's living in her house and she's paying a car note on a vehicle that she doesn't even drive. I want the woman to love herself and dump this guy because he's using her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/21 10:43 PM
20

It's less energy and money in the long run to break things off, go to therapy and figure out how and why you ended up with someone like that in the first place.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/21 10:35 PM
60

We've been given an illusion that's been fueled by projection. I have had very few female friends that I cut off for toxic behavior (I can only think of one friendship in the last ten years). However, I have cut off many men for lying, being manipulative or for putting my life at risk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/21 10:33 PM
11

If the behavior that was marketed as liberation was truly liberation, men would be against it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/21 10:20 PM
21

This isn't the flex he thinks it is. Not to mention, his current spouse will end up learning the hard way that what he does with her, he'll do to her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/21 01:45 AM
3

I don't think this is meant for men who date women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 11:50 PM
3

Exactly! If a man is disrespectful, it's because that's the type of person he is. If he hates women, nothing a woman does will make him love her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 11:45 PM
3

38 and "self-employed" looking for someone 18-26 years old. Gag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 11:16 PM
19

I have zero interest in competing for a dude. People aren't prizes to be won. If that's where he wants to be, that's where he can stay. ETA: I've never known a truly good man to put a woman in the position to make her feel as if she should compete for his attention.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 10:22 PM
4

This is the way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 08:31 PM
16

It's highly unlikely that he didn't have an argument with any of his exes. However, you might be more willing to point out his problematic behavior and stand up for yourself than other women he's dated, which he isn't used to and doesn't like. Regardless, his bringing up the behavior of his exes and comparing it to yours is triangulation. Men like this are toxic, controlling, immature and allergic to accountability.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 02:30 PM
27

Active duty military (any branch), cops, truck drivers, warehouse workers, anyone who describes themselves as an "entrepreneur."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 01:11 PM
14

Men will hold a grudge against all women because some girl rejected him in sixth grade. This dude is the one who sounds triggered if a woman's comment caused him to write this page-long, single-spaced drivel.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/21 08:41 PM
1

Congratulations on your achievements! Hope your birthday is as amazing as you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/21 02:23 AM
10

I love this story and I'm glad that you made a friend out of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/21 02:16 AM
4

Thank you for saying this! This is absolutely true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/21 01:43 AM
4

The happiest demographic of women are single. Men like this only benefit if they can attempt to scare any woman into settling.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/21 01:33 AM
2

I love how much he adores his wife.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/21 01:23 AM
2

Coffee and the mall? Like the two of you are in junior high?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/21 01:35 AM
3

You didn't reach out to him, which is a win. You deactivated the account, which is also a win. You reached out to us, you spent time with friends, you're doing great things education and career-wise. This is a tiny loss amongst a pile of wins. It was a setback, but you're doing great.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/21 01:32 AM
6

No response is a response. Block 'em and live your best life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/21 01:28 AM
3

Yep, it's been said here many times. It's projection.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/21 01:19 AM
6

Everyone needs to eat. It speaks to their lack of self-sufficiency if a man can't cook.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/21 01:13 AM
6

This is badass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 01:34 AM
8

Girl, you're out of his league. Dump him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 01:09 AM
2

I'd believe this "story" if the genders were reversed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 01:01 AM
3

The impression it left me with was "That's a lot of words to say 'I'm a self-loathing gay man.'"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 11:57 PM
55

If he can pull more men, have at it. Leave us alone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 11:58 PM
8

This is brilliant! I've never thought about it this way, even though it seems so simple. Thanks for taking the time out of your day to create this post, OP.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 01:28 PM
12

Yes, yes, yes! The first few days are the hardest. You did a lot of awesome things, which will be so, so, so good for you in the long run.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 01:26 PM
49

They act like it's an either or, when there are men who can provide both. Stop settling.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 05:05 PM
9

Followed by one or all of the following: -You're crazy -You're overreacting -You're too sensitive
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 02:29 PM
3

YES! YES! YES! Keep going!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 12:44 PM
2

As you should! You'll get there. Take it one day and one step at a time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 02:38 PM
14

This dude is trying to tout himself as an intellectual and skilled debater, but used the logical fallacy of ad-hominem. His posturing is laughable. People like this are desperate for attention. Any response is fuel to this smug basement troll. I'd ignore him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 12:54 PM
44

She probably put more effort into this post than this fuckboy did in satisfying her. She needs to block, delete and move on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 12:06 AM
2

Good for you! Keep working on healing and loving yourself. You got this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 12:01 AM
23

She's the partner on the side and he's got a family that he stays away from for "work" or he stays with the side chick on the weekends when he's "at his parent's house."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 11:51 PM
7

Triangulates them all so they can't see the situation for what it is and walk away from this toxic dude and his community dick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 11:16 PM
11

You just described 90% of the men I work with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 01:55 PM
5

It sounds like you need a break from dating and to pour the energy and focus you held with dating into yourself. It's not a bad thing at all! If you're enjoying your own company more, it sounds like you were meeting people who weren't up to your standards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 01:10 PM
8

He told on himself. Don't expect him to be any different with you. It sounds like you want to be done with him, so end it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 11:45 PM
139

Those aren't friends, that's his narc harem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 11:05 PM
1

This too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 10:38 PM
10

You're absolutely right and I'm sorry that this has been something that WOC have had to deal with in the world. For far too long and too often, women and girls who are not white do not receive any attention, care or concern when they go missing or are found murdered. As a white woman, I believe it's on us to listen to the concerns of WOC/POC, to treat these concerns like they matter (because they do), and to address the apathy and racism within our own communities.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 11:37 PM
21

All of this vitriol when he could've walked on the other side of the street and continued living his life. This dude is a hateful person telling on himself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 10:27 PM
73

Don't be concerned with why someone did what they did. If the person violated your boundaries, that's enough to walk away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 10:26 PM
18

I've only regretted not ending things sooner, I've never felt bad about things not working out with my exes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 09:32 PM
15

You completely dismantled them! This is a beautiful example of what happens when you ignore someone who believes any attention is good attention. Queen shit right here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 11:53 PM
53

Yep, been there, done that, have the t-shirt somewhere in the laundry. They'll always tell on themselves. Don't try to soothe their ego, prove them wrong or even stick around. Walk away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 11:28 PM
1

This should be the top comment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 01:45 PM
5

That sounds exactly like a narcissist's smear campaign and I'm sorry that you're going through this right now. Know that you are not alone, this is what narcissistic people do. What he did with you, he'll eventually do to other people in his life. He will expose himself. This is easier said than done, but don't put any stock into what he says about you. It's very tempting to try to set the record straight and prove you are not who he says you are. Don't even bother, it will make the situation wo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 01:30 PM
44

Based on the scrote's active communities, the jokes just write themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 01:11 PM
27

You think he'd have better things to do, like raise his children.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 09:51 PM
18

He's nasty. Keep him away from you and your daughter.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 05:54 PM
16

A lot of the advice I have received regarding relationships and boundaries from a past therapist were aligned with FDS, as were many of the resources I found when recovering after having dated a covert narcissist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 01:01 AM
6

Yep, the only acceptable reaction to someone who thinks that any attention is good attention is to ignore them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 12:37 AM
11

When I started focusing on the what and stopped focusing on the why.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 12:21 AM
123

This guy is doing anything but evaluating his own behavior. Block, delete and love on yourself. Paying attention to his actions will only hurt you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 01:05 AM
5

Things I like to do include the following : a trip to the bookstore to pick out a new book, breakfast at a coffee shop in my neighborhood, buying myself flowers, going out for a nice dinner at the end of the week.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 11:21 PM
15

Change the locks and throw a party when he leaves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 11:15 PM
7

I started off at a community college and transferred over to a university, zero regrets. While I still had student loans (almost fully paid off!), I saved a ton of money.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 11:11 PM
13

All of this. Especially since women (on average) live longer than men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 11:02 PM
2

We're only human and rejection does bruise the ego. What I found helpful is to remind myself that rejection is only about the other person and not at all a reflection of my value as a person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 10:58 PM
4

Thank you for taking the time to compile this list. You are absolutely right about discussing past relationships and past traumas. I learned this the hard way in past exchanges with people that oversharing does nothing to help me and can potentially be harmful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 10:55 PM
1

I have zero interest in ever changing my name.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 10:50 PM
7

This was the one thing that I found beneficial about trying out OLD. It became really easy to see signs of manipulation and cut someone off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 12:35 AM
2

I'm in my thirties and have my own place, I expect any person I date to be capable of doing the same (I don't live in a HCOL area). If I find out on a date that a guy is living with his parents, that will be our last date. It's a deal breaker for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 12:26 AM
44

Here's an article about triangulation as a manipulation tactic. He is continuing to message OP behind the back of his fiancee even though OP doesn't want to be with him. Any reply that he gets from OP will be used to tell his fiancee that OP is bitter that he's in a new relationship, still wants him or is jealous. This will make the fiancee insecure that another woman is in communication with him, which will make his fiancee more invested in staying in the relationship and pleasing him. If this …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/21 03:57 PM
153

If she hasn't already seen the mask slip, she will. He was probably using any message exchange between the two of you to triangulate you and his fiancee, which stabilized their relationship. If you haven't already, block his access to you. Men like this are never happy, because they hate themselves. How they treat their partners is a reflection of that. They lack the ability to see that the common denominator is them. He tried to make you jealous in an attempt to convince himself (and others) th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/21 01:59 PM
7

You're welcome!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/21 01:20 PM
11

This is very true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/21 01:20 PM
18

Exactly. You also don't want to be treated like his personal assistant and being the person to do those things for him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/21 01:20 PM
176

-Is proactive about his own health: makes appointments for regular physicals, dental checkups and eye exams; specialists if needed; exercises on a regular basis
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/21 01:43 AM
121

We need to stop gaslighting ourselves with "giving the benefit of the doubt."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/21 01:40 AM
10

Will ask you how much you pay for things or what kind of job you have to assess how much money you have/make.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/21 01:39 AM
2

Anna will come out of this realizing she dodged a bullet. I feel sorry for the kid being born in this situation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 01:12 AM
2

I occasionally enjoy gaming (did it way more as a kid than I do now) and I love arcades, but I can go ages without picking up a controller. That being said, I spend little time, money or effort on it as it's not something high on my list of priorities. I simply find it fun. However, there are certain things that stand out to me as red flags when it comes to gaming in men I date. One, if he is a sore loser or only plays violent games. Two, he spends an excessive amount of money towards gaming. Th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 01:35 AM
12

It's low effort. Even if a guy is shy or awkward, he'll make an effort if he truly likes you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 01:25 AM
1

All of this right here. The way we win is by not playing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 01:20 AM
58

This was a vetting strategy pre-FDS and one I'll continue using in my life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 01:06 AM
5

This reminds of the multiple occasions I have been referred to as a "sexy little spitfire" and fully elucidates why I hate that phrase.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 12:33 AM
1

Major apartment de-clutter and refreshing my wardrobe. I went to a swap a couple of weeks ago to get rid of clothing that I was no longer wearing and found some great, new to me pieces. Also found some cute things when I hit the clearance racks this weekend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 01:25 AM
12

I love this! Thank you for sharing. The better I have gotten at implementing boundaries, being assertive and leveling up my own life, the more confident I feel. That confidence and acceptance of self is sexiness to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 01:12 AM
15

The problem isn't you, that man was predatory. Don't feel guilty about being a bitch to someone like that, your safety should be top priority.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 01:07 AM
20

I run things by my mom all the time! She has an amazing bullshit detector. I've even run FDS stuff by her to get her perspective and her views line up with the things that are in the handbook and expressed by women here. She's always a part of my vetting strategy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 11:42 PM
5

That's extremely unprofessional. It sounds like he ran through his social circle and tried this before and was successful. Is there a way to report him to the gym or to review him online? Women need to be warned about him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 11:38 PM
21

Being focused on what men think or want will have you running yourself ragged on a hamster wheel. If you're always trying to please others, you never get around to being happy with yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 11:33 PM
8

Oof, he sounds like an asshole. Your parting words were on point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 03:02 AM
10

Cognitive dissonance level ten.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 02:35 PM
9

You're better off without him. Keep us posted on your glow up game!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 02:32 PM
8

Remind myself that I'll earn it back and then some.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 02:30 PM
25

I'm independent, I embrace self-improvement and I remain passionately curious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 12:12 AM
19

I really didn't like that his character got a major redemption arc with April, because Andy was awful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/21 10:47 PM
369

Recent stint in rehab as well. Got a woman pregnant while on the rebound or while cheating. Red flag, red flag, red flag. His ex is better off without him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/21 04:33 PM
13

After my last relationship ended, I noticed that fewer women who were partnered wanted to socialize with me. I don't know if it was because they were more focused on their family life and had less time for the same pursuits and interests that I did, or if it was indicative of something else. Regardless, I ended up seeking out friendships or continuing friendships with women who didn't have that attitude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/21 02:45 PM
65

I was going to say the exact same thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/21 01:02 PM
9

Bitch = Being in Total Control of Herself
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 04:11 PM
20

Love this for us!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 03:06 PM
90

I felt the same way when I stopped shaving. It's liberating! Also, it was incredibly sexy to know my appearance is one that I chose for myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 02:01 PM
7

Turn off messaging or limit who can message you by only adding approved users.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 01:57 PM
2

Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 11:58 AM
8

You're welcome. It wasn't pleasant when I heard it, but it was advice that served me well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 01:19 AM
5

Onward and upward. I'm glad you're here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 12:22 AM
3

This is the only space regarding dating and relationships on Reddit where I read posts and felt validated. I also love the message of choosing yourself and leveling up your own life, regardless of whether you're in a relationship or if you're single.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/21 11:30 PM
80

All men in general benefit from women settling or lowering their standards. However, the men who benefit the most are the worst of the worst. Most men don't see women as being human and having the right of refusal or the ability to have preferences.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/21 11:23 PM
32

Thank you for sharing, OP! Also, your girlfriend sounds like an absolute gem. I wish you all the happiness in your relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/21 11:17 PM
31

A therapist once told me "If you don't know, the answer is no."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/21 11:07 PM
16

I know someone who did this. Became a cat person because her boyfriend is one. Got rid of the merch for the college football team she was a fan of in favor of the one her boyfriend likes. Changed her eating habits to mirror his because he's pickier than her and they live together. It's irritating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/21 11:04 PM
25

These are usually women who will also see having a relationship as being a status symbol and would rather stay with someone who dims her light just to say she has someone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/21 10:42 PM
12

I love that the song also has lyrics that are sung from the woman's perspective that indicate that he was manipulative and playing the victim in a scenario he created through his own bad behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/21 10:38 PM
6

This is so important when it comes to strategy! Money allows you to have someone in their life because they're wanted, not needed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/21 12:41 AM
5

They'll still sound bitter and full of contempt when they speak about their ex, even if they broke up years ago. It isn't so much what he says so much as how he says it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/21 12:28 AM
1

He's probably a loser that women his own age look past because they have the wisdom and life experience to know better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/21 12:18 AM
3

She's barely an adult, she should be out having fun. She needs a hug and to kick this asshole to the curb.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/21 12:16 AM
1

Looks like vIbeS replaced aUrA.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/21 12:15 AM
1

Amen. You should always have a Fuck Off Fund. Money gives us choices.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/21 12:14 AM
44

A place that looks like he rushed to tidy up, but doesn't know how to truly clean things. You'll see where there's still hair and dust in the corners of the bathroom floor, a damp smell from using the same towels repeatedly, yellow stains on the sheets or pillow cases, vacuum tracks on the carpet but dust bunnies around or under furniture.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/21 12:10 AM
15

Only give her advice if she asks. It will only cause you a headache otherwise.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/21 12:02 AM
11

From past experience, if he doesn't want to change he'll find someone else more willing to put up with his piss poor behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 04:51 PM
3

Ugh, yes! This is why I stopped making friends with men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 01:30 PM
12

I would've immediately unmatched and blocked. Zero effort at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 12:56 PM
23

It attracts the lowest common denominator. When you're at your best, you're too far above them to reach you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 12:31 PM
14

Are you me? I was thinking of signing up for a class or a woman's only gym. I'm surrounded by men at work and I don't want male friends at this point in time, but I would really love more female friends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 12:22 PM
10

A friend of mine once said that you could assess the quality of the restaurant you were serving/bartending in based on whether a well known NHL player brought one of his girlfriends or his wife there (she had served him at a previous restaurant where she worked). Stories about this guy being a player off the ice were supported by a former coworker of mine as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 03:09 AM
7

Leave him in the dust where he belongs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 10:59 PM
175

But what did he do for her other than give her more work?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 10:55 PM
22

Ick, nast. Not at all surprised they used a J name.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 12:11 AM
15

This poor girl. If I knew her I'd bring over some pads, some treats, a heating pad and watch the baby so she could relax and take care of herself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 11:08 PM
21

The sheer number of men who look to use women rather than work on themselves is disgusting. ETA: This is Queen shit. I aspire to get on your level.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 10:53 PM
35

I knew I was leveling up when I found myself turned all the way off by men who showed signs of being emotionally unavailable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 11:05 PM
10

Yet when you do warn the woman, you're crazy/obsessed with them/still want them/can't get over them/jealous. The Pick Me will accept this as fact because she wants it to be true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 12:36 AM
7

I've never gone out with anyone more than six years younger or older than me (I'm 32, almost 33). That being said, I have a preference for dating people my own age or 2-3 years younger.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 12:16 AM
3

Yep. I was groomed by my first boyfriend. If you haven't already, seek out therapy from a professional who is trauma-informed. Additionally, block any and all accounts that you know that these men, their friends and family have. Seek out support from trusted friends, family or a support group. Engage in radical self care. Give yourself the care, compassion and love that you would give to someone in your life if this had happened to them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 12:09 AM
3

There are two coworkers at my place of employment that are dating and it's the same situation. Pick Me woman giving to her Scrote boyfriend who doesn't reciprocate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 09:52 PM
3

Does she also come in to chew his bites of food on his lunch break?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 07:41 PM
4

Reading things like this makes me understand why my great-grandmother once said "I'd rather masturbate with a candlestick than wash a man's underwear again."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 05:48 PM
3

Awesome! Glad to hear you're scrote-free.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 05:21 PM
112

He wants to cheat, but he has ED. Definitely married and lying about his age.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 12:24 PM
6

I'm so sorry that you're in that position. Do you have a plan to get out? Are you working on rebuilding your support system or getting to know new people? You have the people on this sub for support.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 11:24 AM
16

Yes, yes, yes. Isolating yourself or being in a position where someone else isolates you is dangerous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 02:57 AM
40

I was packing my own lunch in elementary school. Treating a grown adult like a toddler isn't cute.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 01:25 AM
23

Just recently had a former acquaintance try this. I responded with "Who is this?" (No longer had his number in my phone) When he identified himself, I blocked and deleted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 01:16 AM
97

I'm all for letting them catfish and send dick pics to each other.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 01:10 AM
9

She's eighteen! She just entered her adult life and has a world of discovery ahead of her. She needs to run in the opposite direction of this predator.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 01:55 AM
15

I watched this movie multiple times as a kid and I loved Madame's character!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/21 01:35 AM
8

I'm cracking up at this guy pouting and hungry because he wouldn't get off his ass to fix his own plate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/21 01:31 AM
114

This reminds me of when I was on OLD and swiftly unmatched a man for telling me that he liked my hair and how his sister also had "beautiful curly hair."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 02:33 AM
122

This is why I don't date men with kids.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 02:25 AM
9

I was late to hop aboard the oat milk train, but I've been converted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 11:39 PM
28

Being asked if you are a vegetarian and having more than one restaurant option in mind for a dinner date in case you don't eat meat.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 11:37 PM
10

I'm not sure who is the bigger Pick Me in this story.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 10:29 PM
26

I'd write the same note. Kevin Samuels is a hell no for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 10:20 PM
6

I'm a reserved person, especially when I haven't gotten to know someone well. I've received negative comments about it from men and women alike, but only from people who are insecure. They see you aren't easily read and therefore, they cannot extract external validation from you and/or manipulate you with love bombing behavior. People who are self-confident have never been bothered by my demeanor.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 09:47 PM
8

In retrospect, yes. It's disturbing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 12:34 AM
2

I'm sorry that you have to deal with that, especially while handling work stress and you want to come home and decompress. If you can swing it, living alone might be what is needed. At least temporarily.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 12:01 AM
8

Used to prevent condoms from breaking, it's high quality and/or used to help assist a woman's body to make sex more pleasurable (sometimes dryness can happen even with foreplay, it's okay): Good Using spit in lieu of buying a high quality lube, using a low-quality lube that ruins your pH, or used in lieu of foreplay: Not good
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/21 11:12 PM
46

This is the rule that I live by now when it comes to dating. If my friends are treating me better and putting in more effort, then he ain't it. Block and delete.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 09:07 PM
6

This makes the previous post about the Ring Pop proposal look good in comparison.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 09:05 PM
4

Pretty ring! The succulent is a nice touch. Congrats!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 09:04 PM
3

It's really aggravating to see. It's probably wishful thinking that she'd see the move as an opportunity to ghost, given her lack of desire to talk about his concerns about them growing apart due to the distance. He's doing nothing for her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 09:02 PM
31

I'm hoping this means she's getting tired of the relationship and will use the move to end things for good.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 12:02 AM
6

Anyone who says that is lying. There is definitely a Goldilocks Zone regarding dick size.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/21 12:25 AM
2

Men named Jake, Jeff, Jared and Josh are all different shades of shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 06:50 PM
14

If social situations are that much of a challenge for him, he should be in therapy working on himself and taking a pause from dating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 03:51 AM
4

That's wonderful news! I'm so excited for you! New place, new start.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 03:12 AM
23

There is one, but he felt entitled to encroach upon a space for women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/21 04:16 PM
73

She's wasting her time trying to polish a turd.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/21 01:17 AM
8

Now this is how you end a relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/21 12:00 AM
5

He checkmated himself with that one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 11:57 PM
1

There's a good chance this is fake. I highly doubt the users here use the same handle for both Reddit and their other forms of social media.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 11:54 PM
9

The women here have been (accurately) pointing out their projection and that's why they're mad. We're right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 11:44 PM
9

Not at all! My family was always the first to point out when they didn't believe someone was good enough for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 11:42 PM
5

It's definitely creepy. My dad is twenty-one years older than me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 11:37 PM
218

"The daily war he has within himself." All this purple prose wasted on a man who she hovers over while he plays video games because he won't otherwise converse with her?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 11:30 PM
2

The creep is mad that he didn't get his dick wet. She was too kind to him in her response. I would've ghosted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 11:26 PM
7

Cookies and Cream is one of my favorites, too! I like that he listened to you and provided both the salmon AND some snacks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 11:23 PM
1

He made an assumption that you would be available even though he didn't confirm? The bar can be in hell and some men will still find a way to trip over it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 01:09 AM
176

The only part of this story that I find shocking is that he went to a doctor.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 01:07 AM
18

Having boundaries and confidence are bad behavior? Give this dude a medal for his mental gymnastics.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 01:04 AM
5

Leonardo DiCaprio, the guy whose getting older and paunchier as his girlfriends remain the same age?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 01:00 AM
12

No regrets leaving online dating. I ended up devoting more time to cooking healthy meals for myself and getting exercise. I'm glowing and looking better than ever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 11:00 PM
2

I have found myself in a comparable position in the past and I am so sorry that you are dealing with this. He was a grown man who coerced and groomed a child. Block his access to you, take care of yourself and stay strong.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 02:04 AM
5

Love this for her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 12:28 AM
14

That's one really toxic cocktail of internalized misogyny and emotional incest.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 01:38 AM
8

I have been in both predominately female work environments and predominately male work environments. Men, by far, cause way more drama. I've also walked away from far more friendships with men because of petty behavior, gossip and triangulation than I ever did with any of my friendships with women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 01:33 AM
39

Wow, this is really sad that they are actively choosing to spend their time like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 12:38 AM
3

It usually means that you're not a doormat.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/21 11:55 PM
30

Relationship status says nothing about your worth as a person. There are people who will settle for anyone and anything just to say they're not alone. Also, I like to think of myself as a butterfly. Pretty and hard to catch.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/21 11:35 PM
12

He is neither a provider nor protector if you have to treat him like a toddler.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 03:32 PM
15

If they do it with you, they'll do it to you. I usually shut this shit down by disagreeing. I had a coworker try to talk to me about how another coworker was dressed saying "What's with ____'s wardrobe?" mentioning the type of dresses she wears. I responded "It's probably because of how hot it's been, that's why I'm wearing a dress today." She quickly changed the subject. Save that shit for someone else. With men, I do the exact same thing. I'm friendly and kind about how I don't agree with them…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 02:57 PM
5

All the older women in my family stressed the ideas of being independent, getting an education and seeing the world rather than marrying young and having children the way they did. I think it's safe to say that it was because they wanted more for me than what they had in their lives.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 01:49 PM
159

You're completely in the right. This is not a "both sides" situation. He drugged her over a disagreement.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 05:56 PM
115

Ugh, reminds me of the time a "friend" tried to set me up with one of the most bland, boring, unremarkable men that I've ever met. Like, you think that little of me?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 04:00 PM
6

I was once told "You're a lot like my ex." It's no surprise that I stopped talking to this guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 01:51 AM
3

I tried OLD for three months. I became bored of swiping left, blocking and deleting or ghosting guys who I went out with and found out were on the rebound from their last girlfriend and living with their parents.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 02:22 AM
3

A man's behavior is his responsibility, full stop. Good or bad, he chooses his behavior. We've been brainwashed with this idea that the nice, low maintenance, Cool Girl TM is the one who gets chosen because she's the better woman who will get the prize of the man who finally acts right. A man who treats you badly won't be better for the next one and she isn't better than you. She just puts up with what you didn't. That being said, I did have an ex try to circle back and slide in my DMs from a so…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 01:36 AM
21

This is why we need to overcome the social conditioning that requires we act "nice" no matter what.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/21 11:38 PM
10

Thank you for saying this! I used to stay too long in relationships out of guilt.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/21 11:35 PM
35

Your friend sounds like she's an amazing person and so do you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/21 12:01 AM
41

Wait, what? Having a child ties you to someone for life. I would want to know that someone is willing to commit to marriage before even moving towards having children.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 01:04 AM
62

I've had hair that's short, long and in-between. I always go back to short haircuts because it's what makes me feel most confident. If a dude makes any negative comment about women with short hair, I don't give him the time of day. He's told on himself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 12:57 AM
38

Thanks for bringing this up! Low value men who both like to co-opt new age thinking and are narcissistic will use this shit to rope women into trauma bonding and will emotionally abuse them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 02:21 AM
6

All of this. Often our minds and bodies pick up on things that aren't at the forefront of our minds in the moment, but we recall later on. How we process these things at the time is often bodily sensations or your "gut feeling." There's a reason we feel this way and we need to trust ourselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 02:14 AM
3

Thank you for taking the time and effort to break this down.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 02:09 AM
8

All the dudes who would watch EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. of my stories on Instagram, but wouldn't comment or like anything I posted. It was a fan club I didn't want and it felt so good to cut off their access.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 02:07 AM
11

Women are not rehabilitation centers for men who choose not to fix themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 09:24 PM
38

He's a grown ass man, he knows he's being nasty. Cut him loose.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 09:21 PM
19

My go-to reaction is to appear bored or annoyed, usually because that's how I feel when I see their attention-seeking behavior. With messaging/OLD, block and delete.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 09:10 PM
8

Cooking class (could also be paired with a trip to a farmer's market), planetarium, ice skating, hot air balloon ride, museums, wine or distillery tours, ghost or haunted house tour, trip to the cider mill or pumpkin patch, aquarium, roller skating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 09:01 PM
60

It takes an incredible amount of courage to end your engagement and wedding and you saved yourself the hassle of getting divorced down the road.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 02:23 PM
6

No...just...no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 02:21 PM
7

If it takes that long and she prefers he doesn't do it, he isn't good at sex and she doesn't enjoy it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 02:15 PM
9

This right here! There are plenty of things to go out to do that don't center around drinking if that isn't your scene. They're literally telling us they don't want to spend any time or money planning a worthwhile experience. If my friends put in more effort and initiative when it comes to the things we do, the guy isn't someone I'm going to date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 02:06 PM
5

Yep. Zero effort guys. Gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 02:05 PM
61

This is why I don't date men who describe themselves as "homebodies."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 09:31 PM
75

Now that's some strategy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 09:30 PM
2

No thank you. My life isn't a charity that I'm running.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 01:44 AM
10

More likely than not, it's a decoy account.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 11:20 PM
38

This is one of the few books that had me sobbing. Khaled Hosseini is a fantastic writer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 11:00 PM
202

I've had this exact thought so many times. I value my sleep. So I stopped with this nonsense years ago and I have no regrets. Even if I am up later than normal, I will stop texting or end a phone call because no one's entitled to monopolizing my time late at night.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 12:03 AM
4

Agreed. I love seeing women walk away from situations that drain them and channel the love and compassion they give others into themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 09:38 PM
21

Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to create this post! I wish I had this resource in the pastt. It took years for me to do the work to discover these things independently, heal and get my physical and mental health on track (all while working and going to school full time). I am going to bookmark this in case a woman I know needs this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 12:26 AM
4

I briefly dated a dude like this. At the time, I noticed that he would go over to his parents house multiple times during the week after work (in fact, I remember telling one of my friends that I thought his relationship with his family was weird). In retrospect, I realized it was probably because he didn't want to cook for himself and mommy would.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 12:07 AM
9

I've done something similar. It was what he deserved. If you're not ready, I'm not sitting at home waiting. Life's too short.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 12:40 AM
31

Thank you for bringing this up! I found Derek's relationship with Meredith to be so frustrating for precisely this reason.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 12:36 AM
3

What you have to say is worthwhile.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 09:36 PM
28

The number of dudes I encountered on OLD who were in their thirties who moved back in with their parents when they split up with their exes disgusted me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 01:53 AM
8

Thank you for sharing! This fully supports that we need to continuously be vetting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 01:40 AM
6

Even if you're childfree, we live in a world that has patriarchal norms. Equality still does not exist. Due to the fact that societal norms still benefit men, FDS strategies would still apply because we experience more discrimination, are vulnerable to violence from both men we date and men we reject, and men benefit more from their relationships with us than we do from relationships with them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 01:36 AM
11

It's important to know how to spot these things so we can become better at blocking, deleting and not blaming ourselves. Thank you for sharing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 01:07 AM
19

Given my past experience with men I've suspected were covert narcissists (one man I had a long-term relationship, one man I very briefly dated), you are right. Everything with them is 1) transactional and 2) intentional. It's very unsettling at first, because we have a tendency to project our own good intentions onto people. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this, but I'm glad you're sticking to your boundaries.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 01:02 AM
76

Oh, yeah. The Manic Pixie Dream Girl who will make their life worthwhile and fix them. With their lack of self-awareness and introspection, they don't see that the common denominator is them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 12:33 PM
9

This sounds awesome. Now I really want to meet up with some badass ladies for a road trip.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 12:52 AM
6

I love this for you! You've moved onward and upward. It feels liberating, doesn't it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 12:22 AM
1

I want to live my life like The Golden Girls. As I get older, the more valuable female friendships are to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 11:57 PM
5

You're far above what he deserves and he knows it. Stay strong and love on yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 11:55 PM
32

Women don't owe men shit, full stop.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 10:37 PM
13

His respect is worth very little by his own admission. I hope you blocked him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 10:32 PM
2

I'm proud of you. You chose yourself and acted decisive. He didn't deserve you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 01:00 AM
2

This was so much fun to read. Thank you for sharing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 12:44 AM
3

New you, new decade! I hope your birthday weekend is awesome.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 12:36 AM
1

This would fall into overstepping or violating established boundaries. A man who does this does not respect women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 01:25 AM
0

Block and delete. Forgiveness is entirely up to you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 01:16 AM
6

Wish them well and keep it moving. As I started to level up, I started to notice I had my own "fan club." I figured out that I had to be doing something right to get that much attention. Good or bad, talking about me says more about you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 11:53 PM
16

Imagine what would happen if those eight women put their energies, attention and love towards themselves instead.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 11:26 PM
3

Amen! I want more for everyone here (myself included). We're not going to achieve that by commiserating over what we used to do rather than discussing strategies to help us be better women. Can this be stickied or incorporated into the handbook?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 10:57 PM
11

If he wanted to, he would. Her priorities and his are very different.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 10:35 PM
14

I change mine once a week. These dudes are musty.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 10:27 PM
1

Queen Shit, I love to see it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 10:02 PM
1

We're better off living alone if we're going to be doing everything ourselves. Your house also sounds fabulous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 01:01 AM
11

Ew, hard pass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 09:25 PM
25

Queen shit
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 09:23 PM
7

No response is a response. I'd block and delete.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 09:14 PM
14

I tip women who are Uber/Lyft drivers a higher percentage and rate them more favorably for this reason. Not to mention, I feel safer with them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 05:44 PM
3

"My life is a drama free zone" = my life is full of drama, almost all of which I create for my own amusement.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 05:42 PM
4

His actions told you who he is. You did the right thing blocking him. Now you have room to love on yourself and potentially meet someone who deserves you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 05:32 PM
3

Love her from a distance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 05:25 PM
6

Don't ever cosign any financial document with a boyfriend. I'm glad she's rid of him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 05:19 PM
11

His family knows he's a clown and they're trying to offload their problem onto someone else.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 04:25 PM
2

Let me guess, she dumped him and/or she didn't want him back.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 02:52 PM
5

Thank you! You as well, OP! This is why I listen to hear if men bring up goals/things they are actively working on improving in their life unprompted when getting to know them to determine if they are open to learning and growing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 08:44 PM
7

That's awesome that your boyfriend is supportive! That ex didn't have a lot going on his life and knew that my focus on my own life and achievements would allow me to see how much better I would be without him (rightfully so, I was) and/or was threatened by the fact that I would outshine him. Since then, I've only sought out relationships with people who were as goal-oriented as I am.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 08:21 PM
23

Yet they say that women are the ones who cannot handle rejection.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 07:53 PM
28

Oof. My first boyfriend was like this. I left him because finishing my education and building a career was more important. I'm pretty sure he told the woman he cheated on me with that I was a selfish person because I didn't drop my whole life for him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 07:11 PM
11

*Fans self*
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 10:57 PM
6

You're well on your way to leveling up. Sometimes relationships end so that you can move onward and upward, which will happen to you. Welcome!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 10:53 PM
38

A dude tried to do this to me a year ago. I suspected something was up and left him alone (said he was late due to having car trouble when we had a second date planned and it sounded fishy, I later found out he was trying to hit up another woman he was sleeping with while out with me). It was confirmed to me through a friend of mine. Since the friend of my friend was willing to entertain him, I let her have at it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 10:29 PM
1

Welcome! There's a treasure trove of information here and over 100 thousand women who will cheer you on into leveling up and loving yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 11:17 PM
3

Aw, thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 09:34 PM
1

They're the best!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 09:33 PM
16

I love it! This is beautiful. Cheers to a new name and a new lease on life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 01:46 AM
71

Alexa, play "Toxic" by Britney Spears. Yep, be prepared to be triangulated with each and every one of these women. Men like this will constantly shift the goal posts in an attempt to get you to work harder to please them unless you leave them in the dust where they belong.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 01:40 AM
11

Sometimes you are the only person getting in your way. It hurts to see that. But you pick yourself up, dust yourself off and figure out how to do better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 12:37 AM
8

A middle of the afternoon nap on my day off or I'll buy a cute succulent (affordable, low maintenance and it'll cheer up your living space).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 09:59 PM
28

It falls into that maxim that people will only change when they choose to change for their own sake. I've engaged in a lot of embarrassing shit in my past, so I work to not judge another woman for being in a different place in her journey and quietly hope that she will love herself and do better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 09:56 PM
6

At the very least, he isn't treating you like a priority and/or is looking for a quick hookup. I'm not sure what your schedule looks like, but I have a job that requires me to get up early in the morning. I'm usually asleep at 11:00 at night, so if men only hit me up at that time when I was on OLD I was quick to unmatch.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 09:50 PM
8

Sounds awesome! I'm actually planning on making a solo trip in the near future.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 01:44 PM
15

I'm glad you made it out of a bad situation and have someone in your life who treats you like a queen. Thank you for sharing. Also, pineapple is delicious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 01:41 PM
2

Same, girl. Same. I like when they tell on themselves so I know to block and keep it moving.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 01:09 PM
11

I would agree. The giant, glaring red flag is how he describes empathy. He's low in emotional intelligence, self-absorbed and only experiences cognitive empathy. When someone describes themselves this way, believe them and RUN. They are dangerous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 11:42 PM
21

You have a great head on your shoulders, OP. I have this mindset now in my thirties, but it took making a lot of mistakes and putting in work on myself to have it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 09:09 PM
3

You did the right thing. I hope your dinner was awesome.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 08:59 PM
64

Ew, internalized misogyny.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 08:06 PM
47

Yep, they suddenly want to settle down when they no longer have the currency to remain in the game.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 07:36 PM
8

They don't want a traditional woman, what they want is somewhere between a fleshlight and a mommy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 03:07 PM
8

She needs to be asking herself why she's choosing to be with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 02:42 PM
11

She ain't wrong.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 01:08 PM
1

*clink*
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 10:53 PM
7

Based on how she is using the word, I would encourage her to be a bitch. Be a huge bitch. Pro-bitch all the way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 09:33 PM
2

I would too. I can understand writing this when you're in your early twenties thinking it's deep and edgy. But writing something like this in your forties is super embarrassing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 01:01 PM
9

I didn't really want to touch on that, since I don't have kids and don't want any. But you're right. Her kid sees all of this and it isn't good.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 01:00 PM
3

Cheers to your great day!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 11:54 PM
61

He's a colossal waste of her time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 11:52 PM
8

You're in danger, girl. If he isn't already a serial killer, he will work his way to it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 08:02 PM
13

Speaking from experience, this is very true. Now I don't bother with dudes as soon as that comes out of their mouth. I learned my lesson.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 07:17 PM
5

Well, this was some supremely fucked up shit from two people with huge boundary issues.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 12:57 AM
3

It sounds like she's intelligent, fun, knows what she wants, goes after it and has a family that loves her. He's big mad because he isn't half of what she is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 11:55 PM
14

I do this with my best friend as well! We'll go somewhere where the other one hasn't been (either near her place or mine, as we live in different cities), have good food and drinks, enjoy the atmosphere and have an excuse to look cute. Sometimes she pays, sometimes I pay, sometimes we split. I love her and appreciate her company and it's something we both enjoy. If a man thinks that something comparable is too much effort, he's the wrong man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 10:59 PM
23

You captured it perfectly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 10:44 PM
20

We're living rent free in their heads. Meanwhile, we're thinking about how we're going to level up, take care of ourselves, and enjoy life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 10:43 PM
4

This is exactly it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 09:29 PM
5

Not to mention, his well off family is probably subsidizing some of his lifestyle as well either monetarily or through social capital (connections to get him a high paying job). He knows exactly what he's doing and he doesn't care.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 09:28 PM
259

He's taking advantage of her financially, full stop. It sounds like she might be on her way to dumping him, which she should.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/21 11:49 PM
25

A coworker of mine who is an older woman always boosts up women who become more successful, who are talented, and who take on leadership roles and her rationale is "You give a woman something and she will always make it more." Women are amazing, we bring so much to the table. Men are aware of this, which is why they work to keep us down.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/21 10:14 PM
5

I don't know. I know anecdote isn't data, but I've dated two super toxic men who loved cats. Both described dogs as being "too needy." Both also believed cats were more intelligent and by proxy, that they were superior people for liking cats (I suspect both men are covert narcissists). It's more of a red flag to me if a man you're dating doesn't seem to know how to interact with your pets or doesn't treat them well, your pets don't like them and/or they pressure you to get rid of them. In short,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/21 07:46 PM
83

They're almost worse because of how desperate and bitter they are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/21 07:22 PM
25

Nice try. Every dude I matched with on OLD who discussed these apps with me had far fewer "matches" than I did and that's because there are more men on apps than women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/21 07:21 PM
17

She's a babe. Most forty year old men could never.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 10:58 PM
5

There are so many spaces that are welcoming to their nonsense. Yet they're spending their free time attempting to infiltrate the one space that is only for women. The entitlement is through the roof.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 11:32 PM
4

I'm so happy for you that you found the correct diagnosis and treatment plan and that your life is on the up and up. That's wonderful news and it has to be a huge relief.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 11:31 PM
28

I made this mistake in my last relationship and there is no way you won't resent your partner. I had to take the initiative to tell him that it was unfair (which is unfair in itself) and that he was taking advantage of me financially before we came up with an arrangement that better matched what we were both earning.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 10:50 PM
8

I've dated two men that I suspect are covert narcissists, this behavior looked very familiar.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 10:01 PM
1

Yes! Love it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 09:28 PM
23

This has narc harem written all over it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 02:36 PM
28

Younger women have less life experience and are still developing their sense of self. Therefore, through no fault of their own, are more easily manipulated and expect less. It's a really gross game that these dudes play with age gap relationships. Women who are older aren't bitter, they know better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 02:29 PM
8

Yeah, not worth the time or effort. Did you have fun?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 02:24 PM
10

Love yourself more. Honestly, I think ghosting would be appropriate in this situation. Conversations haven't been helpful and you have every right to move on from a person who hurts you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 02:06 PM
33

If the place was already booked, he should've found another one on equal level on his own. He tried a bait and switch, glad you didn't fall for it and got yourself some new shoes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 02:04 PM
10

I've seen this so many times and I don't tire of watching it. I love Eartha Kitt.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 01:38 PM
23

His inability to respect your boundary while you're still talking and getting to know him is a giant red flag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 01:08 PM
5

Someone this callous and self-absorbed has no business reproducing. He's almost on the same level as the Patron Saint of Fuckboys, Future.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 03:05 AM
2

They have no one to blame but themselves for being irresponsible with their own body and their own money.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 03:03 AM
15

Yep, men like this see you as an object to improve their own image and to fuel their false self and should be avoided. They will only take. A high value man has interests, character, career and resources that he brings to the table on his own. This is why no woman should be looking at "potential" when she is dating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 02:48 AM
38

I once met a dude on OLD that tried to reschedule a date. I declined and blocked. I'm not interested in someone who isn't interested in me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 02:38 AM
9

This is why I don't go anywhere near men who have kids with more than one woman. They're indiscriminate about who they choose to have children with, they're spreading themselves way too thin to be an involved or present parent and you know that they are unwilling to use protection.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/21 06:07 PM
27

Either abusive and predatory or hobosexual fuck boys. Not to mention, they give off future cult leader vibes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/21 01:57 AM
23

I don't have kids, so men who are fathers are an immediate "no" for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 12:50 AM
18

There's nothing wrong with looking back to see how far you've come. You've leveled up, we love to see it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 11:39 PM
1

I would've stayed single.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 11:24 PM
10

She's barely an adult. There's a huge developmental and experience gap between someone who is nineteen and someone who is twenty-nine. I'll be thirty-three this year and I can't look at a man in his early twenties and take him seriously, much less pursue a romantic or sexual relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 10:52 PM
11

He seemed confused and later went back to an ex-girlfriend who had less of a problem with his deficit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 06:17 PM
31

Money talks, wealth whispers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 02:51 PM
5

All of this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 02:43 PM
6

It really is! My skin always ends up looking better when I stop dating someone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 02:40 PM
4

I tell people the truth, I'm single because I know what I bring to the table and I don't want to settle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 02:36 PM
56

As if women haven't been historically insulted for any and every physical characteristic we possess.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 02:08 PM
22

I once turned a guy down when I saw how small his dick was. Told him I couldn't do that, put on my clothes and left.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 02:05 PM
67

That's also a lie. He could go down on her or use his hands if he goes soft. He's just lazy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 02:03 PM
6

I would've dumped him when he refused to give me oral, but I like her energy here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 02:02 PM
13

Good for them. Men are so entitled they don't believe we're allowed to have spaces to ourselves, ever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 01:58 PM
76

Don't threaten me with a good time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 02:40 AM
20

The only weight mom needs to lose is the scrote she married. She's a knockout.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 11:25 PM
20

Me when another woman is stuck in the path of a scrote.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 11:50 PM
2

Yes, Queen! You got this! Rock that job and continue to be great.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 01:55 AM
13

Dude sounds lazy, I'm glad you ditched before you could be disappointed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 12:29 AM
46

Yep. If he has to ask, the answer is no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 11:26 PM
14

The audacity the dude has to tell a lie like this! If she said this, she didn't even cum once.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 11:24 PM
7

Definitely one of the best healthcare decisions I've ever made.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 12:59 AM
7

I've developed the same mindset over the last couple of years and it's a great spot to be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 07:16 PM
3

Amen! If I knew you in real life, I'd want to be your friend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 02:57 AM
2

I've only had one dude complain about it and he wasn't worth the time it took to remove the hair.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 11:32 PM
34

Nah. I keep my pubic area trimmed, but don't shave or wax.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 11:57 PM
24

You know this dude has a matted bush that hasn't been washed in a week, both above and below the belt.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 11:46 PM
33

People are usually on their best behavior the first four months of dating. It's important not to rush into a greater commitment and to have firm boundaries.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 01:02 AM
3

Welcome! Stay strong and as soon as you're able, get the hell out of there. We're here for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 11:08 PM
5

We should flip the script. Start holding parties for ourselves and our friends for celebrating continuing our education, completing training courses to advance our careers, promotions, raises, leaving toxic relationships, getting a house or apartment on your own, getting a passport and being able to travel the world, etc. Maybe we need to start with people in our circles who understand and feel the same and build on that. Culture takes times to evolve. Divorce parties are already a thing, though…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 04:45 PM
5

I'm glad you had fuck you money and a safety plan. Take care of yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 04:40 PM
84

Yep. Probably still living with his mama as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 07:47 PM
25

Definitely the type of dude who believes that all women he goes out with should sleep with him, regardless of whether they are interested in him sexually.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 07:30 PM
17

I was discarded in three weeks by a guy like this. I was fucked up about it for a couple of months, especially when he quickly moved on to one of my coworkers. In retrospect, that discard was a compliment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 06:25 PM
11

Keep us posted. I'd be more than willing to read your book!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 06:24 PM
3

The scrotedacity, woof.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 12:58 AM
3

Nope. Anyone I enter into a relationship with should already be doing these things on their own.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 12:49 AM
8

Queen shit. We love to see it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 03:10 PM
43

He'll say he wants an educated woman, but will act as if his opinions are on the same playing field as the years of study and research in your area of discipline.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 12:06 AM
3

A true queen. Placing the blame where it belongs and uplifting every woman in that audience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 02:07 AM
20

Aw, this sounds like my dad! He's always worked to make sure his daughters had a good life. The effort, support and love are still there now that we're grown. I refuse to believe a man when he says he's busy because my dad worked 70-80 hours a week, but always, always, always had time for my sister and I because it's what he wanted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 12:52 AM
5

Value goes beyond money. It's high value if someone has empathy, direction, purpose, self-awareness and the ability to learn from their mistakes. Money is great, but it can't buy character.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 12:42 AM
31

Yeah, I woke up in my twenties when I realized that men in general don't respect you and won't protect you if you're not one of them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 10:43 PM
10

It's an embarrassing phase that I hope every young girl or grown woman grows out of, I cringe when I think of my teen years.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 10:42 PM
7

That's the goal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 11:14 PM
7

You're not alone! Bad experiences with men with J names.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 11:00 PM
30

If it begins with "J" stay away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 01:14 PM
18

Fishing, eating and drinking beer are his interests? He doesn't have hobbies?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 01:04 PM
55

Welcome! You still have potential. It doesn't run dry because of a detour in life. Keep us posted on your next moves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 08:35 PM
12

No, thank you. Men are grown adults who know better and don't care. No use trying to educate a person who isn't teachable, block them and keep it moving.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 07:09 PM
124

Men like this make me dry up like the desert.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 05:53 PM
26

It's a game. It's supposed to be fun, scrote.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 05:51 PM
34

The trash took itself out. He saved you months of stress and wasted time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 04:05 PM
39

This dude can't take a hint that women minding their own business don't notice or care about him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 01:34 PM
8

There's nothing consensual about a relationship between a high school student and a grown man in his thirties. That predator dated her mom to get access to her. Don't let the reddit scrotes get to you. You're sacrificing so much to make the world a better place for women and girls in the real world. You're an angel on earth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 01:14 PM
9

Someone else's mistreatment towards us is never our fault. However, we are still responsible for picking ourselves up and healing, regardless of how unfair that can feel in the moment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 12:22 AM
2

Yep, yep, yep. They're all gross looking now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 12:58 AM
9

He doesn't want her. She needs to choose herself and cut her losses.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 01:19 AM
6

Sounds like his ex-girlfriend wasn't a doormat and she had some self-respect. Good for her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 12:07 AM
41

Our foremothers!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 08:48 PM
7

Self-defense, self love and self care. There will be men who have opinions about what we wear no matter what, we might as well wear whatever we want.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 03:12 PM
17

Ask yourself whether you genuinely like them or if you merely like the attention they give you. If the latter, disengage, seek out a therapist (if needed), engage in self-care. Always, always, always prioritize your own needs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 01:48 PM
10

I once went out with a dude who kicked up a fuss about me cutting my hair, because he didn't think that women should have short hair. Keep in mind, this was a guy who thought he was putting special effort into his appearance if he didn't go out in a t-shirt and basketball shorts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 10:40 PM
2

Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 10:04 PM
14

Exactly. This read like the dude was actively triangulating his ex with the OP.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 02:14 PM
14

Congrats on starting fresh!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 01:33 PM
4

Not going to lie, I did too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 01:01 PM
16

Yep and my life personally and professionally has been on the upswing since that relationship ended, because I'm not dealing with a man child dragging me down.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 01:00 PM
13

Ugh. What a scrote.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 12:59 PM
20

*fans self* Did it just get hot in here?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 02:22 AM
47

He was probably confused about some of his stuff still being in boxes a month after he moved. But yeah, he definitely took it for granted that I cooked healthy meals, knew how to sort laundry to maintain the integrity of clothing and knew how to arrange each room to make it both fun and cozy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 02:18 AM
23

Jax Teller was a shitty boyfriend/husband, but holy hell is Charlie Hunnam fiiiiiine.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 02:16 AM
67

Yep. When my ex and I broke up and moved into our separate residences, he never fully unpacked! Meanwhile, my place was unpacked, cleaned and decorated the day I moved in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 01:56 AM
9

Telling me my standards are too high will immediately extinguish any interest I have in a dude. He's telling on himself. What he means is that he'll disappoint you and waste your time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 12:50 AM
3

Insecurity, envy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 12:48 AM
3

Yes! You've made so much progress in such a short period of time! You are a force! Keep shining, Queen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 02:40 AM
4

I'm surprised he didn't whine about it in his bio.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 02:37 AM
16

I took the whole "future police officer" line to mean that he doesn't have a job.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 02:32 AM
3

So many red flags.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 02:31 AM
17

I know, right? Refusing to settle for less is a good thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 02:45 AM
58

Also, always have condoms (don't fall for "I don't have one, is that okay?" or his false claims that he's too big for one or can't feel anything while wearing it) and don't disclose whether you're on birth control or what kind you use. Men will use this in an attempt to coerce you into not using condoms and/or will mess with it to get you pregnant.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 01:16 AM
12

Oh yeah. People who are insecure in their life choices (especially when they're self-loathing scrotes) project very heavily onto people who are secure and happy in making choices that go against the grain.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 03:39 AM
8

It's one thing to go on a walk with someone you have an established romantic relationship with, it's an entirely different thing to go on a walk with someone you don't actually know. A walk is not a date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 03:21 AM
8

I'm curious as to how many men would be willing to do this for women they are dating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 02:46 PM
5

Yep, this is why I started distancing myself from 99% of my male friends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 12:04 AM
4

Always share with your inner circle of female friends who will support you. Beyond that, move in silence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 11:44 PM
3

Everything you said is the fucking truth. Take my upvote!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 11:39 PM
7

A couple of years ago I briefly dated someone who was exactly like this. By brief, I mean three weeks. It still gives me chills when I recall a time when I caught him in a lie and got in his face about it, his eyes went black and he looked like he wanted to strangle me. He's since moved to a serious relationship, but he still badmouths me and I think it's because I saw his mask come off (though I suspected that he's either a narcissist or has enough narcissistic traits to be straight up toxic).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 11:10 PM
16

He sounds like a great person to have in your life, OP.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 11:05 PM
5

None of my exes used it. They'd go out of their way to get multiple sunburns a year even though it was 100% preventable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 12:58 AM
9

There are many people in various subs who think Reddit is like Facebook with a dislike button. So an auto mod would probably be a concept that he couldn't grasp.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 12:38 AM
2

We literally cannot have anything to ourselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 12:36 AM
8

True. I've gone out with men my age (I'm 32) and younger who had deep forehead wrinkles and were on their way to leather skin territory because they couldn't take a couple minutes out of their day to put on sunscreen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 11:44 PM
3

Not true at all. A lot of men age horribly despite their societal advantages. Not to mention, the bar is set higher for women in regards to what aging well looks like. That being said, every woman I still keep in contact with from high school or college hasn't aged much at all. I cannot say the same for most of the men I knew back then.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 11:39 PM
7

Ugh, gross. I knew exactly who it was before I even clicked the link.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 11:22 PM
11

D sounds like an angel on earth. I'm so glad you have her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 11:19 PM
12

They missed the operative word, voluntary. I can have a different man in my bed every night if I chose to, but I prefer quality over quantity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 10:42 PM
42

We love to see it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 11:16 PM
14

Nothing wrong with you. I was on Tinder for three months and left because I got bored. I went out with a few people, but none of them were relationship material.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 07:07 PM
10

Sounds like he shouldn't be concerned about going on dates if he doesn't even have a roof over his head. I know that hard times can happen to anyone and this pandemic has really highlighted the level of social inequality in our society, but the fact that he's looking to lie to women to get laid is fucking vile and I will judge the hell out of him for that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 06:27 PM
25

I didn't go out with him again after that, because he told me he lived with his mother. I'm in my thirties, that's a deal breaker. Like, just say you can't afford to treat me the way I treat me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 05:59 PM
60

Reminds me of the time I went on a couple dates with a guy and he told me the places I picked made him "feel poor." I'm not rich by any means, but I can also afford to not live with my mother.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 05:30 PM
16

He's not frugal. He's a score keeping leach.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 02:24 PM
5

Staring them down and giving short, pointed (usually one-word) responses eliminates a lot of this. Or, look disgusted and say nothing. Maintain a confident stance the whole time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 01:09 PM
18

These are hilarious! (and so accurate)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 12:55 PM
5

Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 12:34 PM
35

He might have more women or better women swipe right on him, but he's not going to be able to maintain the facade presented in his bio when he talks to them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 10:15 PM
118

No one can ever take your education away from you, it's an investment in yourself and will greatly benefit your quality of life. That being said, a boyfriend left me because I prioritized my education and goals over moving to another state to be with him, and I went on to achieve everything that staying in that relationship would've kept me from having.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 10:05 PM
161

He hasn't thought about how many women will still block, delete and unmatch because he tweaked his bio, but at the core he's still the same fucking guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 05:48 PM
20

I usually don't say anything deeper than things did/did not end on good terms, we had different priorities and/or we weren't compatible long-term.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 05:37 PM
118

The dude who accused his ex of being "clingy" wanted to rush into a relationship after one date. After three weeks, when I flat out told him I wasn't going to move at his pace, I was discarded because "things got serious" and "I like to be alone." Weeks later, he had rushed into another relationship. A lot of times, when a guy accuses his ex of something, he is telling you how he behaves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 01:10 PM
26

Don't threaten me with a good time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 12:27 AM
15

"Stuck up:" You expect him to put in effort.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 12:25 AM
16

More time for yourself to focus on work, your goals, exercise, your friends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 12:15 AM
5

Thank you! I'm glad that you did as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 11:47 PM
7

I once went out with a dude who had the audacity to ask me how much money per month I paid in rent while he was living with his parents. On top of that, I later found out that he was texting a friend of a friend to get her to sleep with him while he was out with me. I dodged a giant pile of red flags not going out with him again after that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 11:05 PM
19

I went out with a guy who behaved in a very similar manner. We went on one date, he said he wanted to be friends because he "wasn't over his ex." Yet, the guy would talk to me daily, say I inspired him, would text me when he knew I was at shows (pre-Covid when live music was a regular part of my life) and was openly jealous of the men I dated. I stopped talking to him because it was starting to get weird to have a man in my life tell me about how he didn't want a relationship with me all while h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 10:59 PM
19

If a man spends a lot of time talking about his ex (especially on the first few dates), know that he isn't over her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 11:57 PM
3

It sounds like the relationship was all in his head.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 11:51 PM
2

Yep, makes it super easy to block and delete if it turns out you met a dud, allows you to have more time to vet each person and makes you more resistant to love bombing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 11:29 PM
1

Sounds like he's looking for a woman who will see him as a project rather than doing the work to improve himself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 11:20 PM
13

The common denominator is him. She failed to realize that she picked up someone else's trash from the curb and took it home.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 11:08 PM
1

You know what happy people don't do? Defend their relationship online all while divulging that the relationship is an unhealthy one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 11:06 PM
2

I'm nowhere near my phone late at night. Joke's on them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 11:04 PM
7

Less irritation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 10:16 PM
26

I ditched the dude who pressured me to always be as bald as a Q Ball down there in my early twenties. Since then, I've kept it around and trim/keep it washed and clean. I haven't been with anyone who has had a problem with it since. I've also found I enjoy sex a lot more when I don't shave. It's a good vetting strategy. If someone has a problem with how you are grooming your genitals that are clean and healthy, ditch them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 11:24 PM
23

Yep, the lack of soap, razors, additional product or cleanliness says that his ex didn't live with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 10:50 PM
3

No dick is worth having to do that level of cleaning up after an adult who knows better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 10:42 PM
7

Definitely!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 12:52 AM
41

One of my favorite people I have worked with was a woman who was in her sixties, never married and never had kids. She was awesome! She had a great career, had a lot of fun, had a supportive group of female friends, drove a Camaro, traveled and lived her best life. One of the nicest things she said to me was that I reminded her a lot of what she was like when she was younger. If I'm as happy and self-actualized at her age as she is, then I'll know I had a good life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 10:24 PM
15

I go the Mariah Carey route. Instead of "I don't know her" it's "I don't know him."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 10:20 PM
10

I doubt it's anything more complex than her living there because she's his girlfriend and he's looking to have someone on the side. He's probably also telling the woman with the keys that OP is "just a friend."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 10:12 PM
14

I've been accused of being both intimidating and stuck up. If it keeps the scrotes away, good.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 12:18 AM
25

Definitely looking for barely legal women at music festivals.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 10:41 PM
8

For one, most women would think this guy was a giant creeper off the bat looking to kidnap them and force them into a cult. Two, no bathroom. Three, this guy sounds like he has huge commitment issues. Four, does he have a job?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 10:35 PM
12

Fuck him, give him a one star review.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 09:48 PM
15

Take everything you wrote about his various traits. Split them into "pros" and "cons" and look at which column is bigger. Listen to your gut, your body picks up on things that your mind will try to rationalize. Stay put in your home, continue moving things out of the home you shared with this guy, find a counselor and create a safety plan. You did the right thing. Keep doing the right thing. We're all here for you, cheering you on every step of the way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 06:22 PM
4

It's already happening.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 02:19 PM
58

More men need to see this video.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 02:10 PM
28

Yep, so many dudes act like they're doing you a favor by offering up a chance at riding their community dick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 01:33 PM
30

Men project their own poor behavior and self loathing onto women very heavily. The same bit about "settling in their thirties" is the same shit as claiming that women "hit a wall." Men get more concerned about settling down to avoid being alone in their thirties and they also start to see the consequences of their poor lifestyle choices around that time as well, the older they are the more desperate they become. Remember: men benefit from marriage more than women. This includes having someone to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 01:28 PM
1

I'm glad you did that growth for yourself, I can't imagine it was easy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 11:35 AM
11

This too. While they low-key try to stalk the women who rejected or walked away from them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 05:37 PM
13

That's probably what really happened.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 04:30 PM
21

This right here! I've had more than one dude try to obsess over me after I made it clear I'd walk away and keep it moving if they weren't going to treat me the way I wanted to be treated. They can keep a pick me around, but they aren't willing to step up and be better for the women they really want. It's like they hate us for being better people than they are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 04:24 PM
16

A lot of women settle and don't consciously realize it, because it's better to be with someone who is less than you deserve than to be alone. The bar is on the ground for what they see as a "great guy" because of the toxic social conditioning of our society. I don't know if this is due to a lack of ability to think critically about how we are socialized as women or if it's ignoring it because they're terrified of being single/seen as a failure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 04:07 PM
21

Translation: Women expect me to be held accountable for my behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 11:20 PM
2

Ugh, gross. If he isn't your child, he isn't entitled to any financial support from you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 11:27 PM
3

Yes, I cannot wait for us to be going out and glowing and growing with our bad and beautiful selves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 02:06 AM
9

Yep. As soon as a dude starts making those comparisons, he is indirectly giving you a list of acceptable and unacceptable behavior. That is toxic as fuck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 03:02 AM
26

This person should've added how nice Divorced Mom's place looks now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 12:49 AM
19

Of course, these articles always have the blame women narrative. Anything to keep men from taking a hard look in the mirror or experiencing anything that resembles accountability.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 08:13 PM
1

From knowing a lot of first generation Americans from Greek and Italian families, #1 is accurate. There very much is the idea of being resistant to renting/living alone and it isn't unusual for people to live with their parents until they marry. The culture is more centered around the family rather than the individual.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 06:44 PM
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