~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Ex wants another chanceI get it. You’re right I do still love her… but I’m not foolish enough to believe she’ll behave any differently… at my most loving towards her I’d push her to learn independence away from any man and at my most evil I would make her think she has a shot with me before kicking her to the street once she’s burned bridges with her current crowd. She’s not living with me again though. Nobody is but my kid. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/12/25 04:20 PM |
| 1 | Ex wants another chanceThat’s not it at all but you do you too. It’s more about being chosen when you don’t have to be. It feels better than being an obligation because someone made a promise years ago not to consider other options. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/12/25 02:13 PM |
| 1 | Ex wants another chanceNo just civilly accused to get an upper hand on the divorce and the charges were dropped so she shifted to mutual consent instead of litigation and opted to move out instead of force me to leave. She also realized the harm it did to our kid to keep him from me and disrupt his transition into middle school and changed her mind… she wasn’t a complete psychopath… she’s just not stable as a person in general and her new crowd stirs that up instead of trying to calm her down. I think people are readi… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/12/25 02:07 PM |
| 1 | Ex wants another chanceYou don’t know much about polyamory do you. That’s not how it works… at least not for me. It’s more like what monogamous people pretend not to do and having different dates on different nights without telling the others… the difference is that my dates all know about each other and don’t force me to choose. I found it relevant because I’m considering if non-exclusivity with trust is better than monogamy without trust. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/11/25 11:07 PM |
| -3 | Ex wants another chanceLittle irresponsible to be diagnosing me. I don’t have a personality disorder… I definitely have caretaker trauma from taking care of her through hers though. Part of her disorder is poor sense of identity and poor grasp of reality while being very susceptible to suggestion from others so there are 2-3 people who planted the SA idea into her head so it’s hard for me to parse out whether she was truly malicious or just following bad advice and incapable of discerning the truth. I think what I’m m… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/11/25 04:35 PM |
| -1 | Ex wants another chanceI don’t want to minimize my kid’s exposure to her… however she treated me she does love him a lot and he loves her. I want to minimize his exposure to the man she left for and doesn’t even want anymore. If she leaves him then I don’t have to worry about it… she will likely go back to being a much better parent then and I can go back to just wishing her well with whoever comes next. I don’t hate her, I just can’t trust her and I can’t let there be any chance of my kid ending up partly raised in a… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/11/25 11:16 PM |
| 0 | Ex wants another chanceYeah for now all I’m giving her is “how can you prove I should trust you again?” There likely isn’t a reasonable way she can… but if she continues to try and find one or reiterate how much she wants/loves me still… eventually she won’t be able to hide that she’s just pretending to be happy with her prize and then it’ll be over. I’m hoping she can sow the seeds of her own destruction and I won’t have to endanger my peace in the process. I’m holding boundaries well too. She wanted the chance to co… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/11/25 09:01 PM |
| 1 | Custody and power outagesWhat if the judge sees this as me kicking her while she’s down though and awards her a bunch of things instead? That’s my main fear. I got lucky that she settled all this via MSA and mutual consent… I don’t want to end up screwed myself. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/08/25 06:39 PM |
| 1 | Be honest: how many of you were still attracted to your wife when you divorced?The attraction left because of the trauma she put me through when she did and the fact that the trust was over. But when she realized her mistake and apologized and said she wanted me back I went back to being attracted to her body at least. Still went through with the divorce but I have a nice “insurance” file on her now in case she tries to fuck with my life again and it’s validating to know she’s putting her bf through her cheating too just like she did with me. It’s not that I wasn’t enough…… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/07/25 10:27 PM |
| 15 | What’s the weirdest thing your ex wife’s boyfriend tried to do to you?He came up to my car during a custody exchange in the grocery store parking lot and started ranting about how it was dangerous for me to pick up my son from his house because there’s nowhere to pull off the street and if I come onto his driveway he’ll have me arrested for trespassing… but also that it was an inconvenience for them to keep having to drive to the parking lot they selected to make the exchange… basically implying I should give up summer afternoons with my son because it’s inconveni… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/07/25 10:18 PM |
| 2 | The best use of AI I’ve found so farI’m sure there’s way more. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/07/25 08:31 PM |
| 5 | The best use of AI I’ve found so farNever delete anything… it’s all potential evidence. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/07/25 08:30 PM |
| 6 | The best use of AI I’ve found so farI just uploaded a PDF of my conversation and told it to analyze it for evidence of mental illness, instability, abuse, and manipulation from either party in the conversation. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/07/25 08:29 PM |
| 4 | The best use of AI I’ve found so fariMazing is just the app I used to backup the messages from my iPhone. It was recommended to me by my lawyer because it’s what they use to extract evidence from texts for court so I used it to export specific conversations in case I needed them saved as PDFs or printed out so I could hand them in. Luckily my ex agreed to most of my terms so I didn’t have to fight on too many things. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/07/25 08:29 PM |
| 1 | Trying to decide rent renewal term based on how likely I am to retain MSA termsThis is the thing that scares me the most. She’s an expert level manipulator and my son spend most of his life believing he was sick because she told him he was. Since living with me he has had little to no problems with illness. If she gets extended time with him over the summer, I have no doubt she can convince him that he wants to live with her because she was able to literally convince his body it was ill when it wasn’t. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/01/25 05:39 PM |
| 3 | Livid at my STBX for never prioritizing our sonShe doesn’t have a job and says she won’t even look yet. She has been literally sitting around at her bf’s house when she isn’t going out with him to bars… sometimes 3-4 times a week. I won’t act like that isn’t part of my frustration with her too. I deserve to be able to spend time out with adults and recharge and it’s admittedly been a while. That and the hypocrisy… she tells everyone I’m keeping her from our kid… but when she has him… she’s always ready to give him right back and I’ve rearran… | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/12/24 01:39 AM |
| 2 | STBX obviously looking to get pregnant with new BFThanks dude. I appreciate the empathy. Doing my best to live well but it’s hard to coparent with someone this unhinged. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/11/24 11:34 PM |
| 2 | Has anyone tried an Intensive Therapy Retreat?Dude… don’t try to pour nitrous on healing from grief… it’s going to be waves for the rest of your life and it’s going to hurt… but the only way out is through. It’s even trickier when you’re grieving not just losing someone you love but losing the time when you believed they would love you forever, losing the time you spent investing in loving them, losing the opportunities and things you sacrificed to be with them. You’re not going to sort that out in a retreat though it might get you started.… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/10/24 02:54 PM |
| 3 | STBX just threatened suicide. What do I do?She fits borderline to a T but will never get diagnosed because of all the lying… to herself and to others. She thinks all her mental health issues come from me, which is interesting because when we met they came from her ex… and before that they came from her dad… it’s like she just recasts the villain role every time she finds someone new as the person she was in love with before them. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/10/24 06:43 PM |
| 3 | STBX just threatened suicide. What do I do?Yeah she already beat you to it. Had a protective order taken out against me but dropped it at the hearing after moving her stuff out of the apartment (during the time I was prohibited to return home pending the results of the hearing). She was violent towards me early in our relationship but then shifted to only emotional manipulation. Our size difference is so much that people could watch her beat me with a pole and would still never consider her abusive. Since that incident, I don’t communica… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/10/24 06:37 PM |
| 1 | Is there any way removing my STBX from my lease will bite me in the ass?Most of my family and remaining friends are concerned this is exactly what will happen. She got her bf to quit his DJ business and get a full time job for her. I’m really curious how long that’s actually going to last before he realizes she’s not worth it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/10/24 03:10 PM |
| 1 | STBX keeps expecting money to cover her medical expensesThere are non-profits that connect women trying to escape domestic violence with pro-bono lawyers and she’s already accused me of domestic violence. Of course the evidence is out of context and the accusation is fabricated… that’s why she dropped the order instead of following through, but it cost me $5000 already defending myself from her because nobody gives free legal counsel to the man trying to escape an emotionally abusive/manipulative spouse. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/10/24 06:10 PM |
| 3 | STBX trying to threaten legal action to force me to delete all her nudesShe has shown me more nudes of her friends that I told her not to send me because that was a violation of their privacy than I have ever showed of anyone, to anyone, ever. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/09/24 06:52 PM |
| 0 | STBX trying to threaten legal action to force me to delete all her nudesThat’s what I told her… her answer was “how can I believe you” and then demanding I somehow prove it. She’s been threatening to litigate a lot of things lately that I doubt she has the time, money, or evidence to pull off. I’m just trying my best to remain civil because we’re still planning on a mutual consent divorce so it’s over with sooner, and we coparent a kid so my main concern is him… not whatever she’s having trouble processing about leaving me. She’s wreaked some havoc on my life alread… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/09/24 10:56 AM |
| 2 | Endless projection and it’s all so clearIt’s insane to me that she could demand you “earn your way out of a dead bedroom” but men expecting sex after bending over backwards to provide and care for a woman is “coercion” or “abuse” even if they’re doing nothing more than asking politely. I get that nobody is entitled to someone’s body but clearly both scenarios are blatant manipulation using sex. That’s such a double standard and men should be able to claim that making sex transactional like this is also coercion. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/09/24 05:45 PM |
| 6 | My Divorce is finalized. Seeking advice to stay strongThe best revenge is success. Do what makes you happy for once. All the things that she kept you from doing, go do them. All the shows/movies she would never want to watch with you… go watch them. All the musical acts you’ve been dying to see that she wouldn’t like… go see them. Get fit, make healthy choices, spend time with friends that are supportive and kind, volunteer for a cause that matters to you, create a life that is full of what YOU want for it… it will not just fill the hole she left b… | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/09/24 05:18 PM |
| 1 | STBX keeps complaining about inconvenience as a reason to get physical custodyYeah… my concern is the whole false accusations of domestic violence. That’s her main leverage right now is if she plays that card, despite dropping them, I don’t want a judge siding with her because of that. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/09/24 04:13 PM |
| 9 | What was the event that led to your divorce? Was it preventative?There were 3 things I asked for in our marriage: Be honest and consistent in your communication Respect my personal and interpersonal boundaries Don’t financially sabotage our family’s future She had a decade-long pattern of deliberately doing the opposite of those things. I gave chance after chance for her to redeem herself and grow… but she eventually decided it would be easier to leave and start a new relationship with somebody else who wouldn’t ask anything of her at all. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/09/24 06:03 PM |
| 1 | Not even a month and she’s sending me stuff about couples that lasted longer than us.That’s insane… | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/09/24 09:47 PM |
| 1 | Not even a month and she’s sending me stuff about couples that lasted longer than us.She has enough “evidence” that even if they did prosecute it wouldn’t work. She has pictures of a bruise on her face (and I have no way to prove I didn’t give it to her… even though I didn’t) and she has texts of us in a kink dynamic (which I can prove we were in and she consented to but out of context they look like abuse). It’s why she dropped the protection order and is just spreading shit about me to our friends so they’ll avoid me. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/09/24 04:43 PM |
| 0 | Not even a month and she’s sending me stuff about couples that lasted longer than us.That definitely felt like a retcon when my wife said it. Like if that was all a performance… she REALLY committed to it. Looking through our message history even from the recent past she was throwing herself at me and madly in love pretty much the whole time until she found out I was unhappy about something, whether or not to do with her at all, and that’s what would kick off the “am I not enough for you to be happy?” arguments. No… nobody is “enough” for me to be happy 100% of the time. Nobody … | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/09/24 08:16 PM |
| 3 | Not even a month and she’s sending me stuff about couples that lasted longer than us.That seems kinda reductive… but I’ll at least agree that SHE is not logical… SHE is not introspective… SHE does not take responsibility for her actions and she only apologizes for things that nobody wants an apology for (like being sick, or for “not being perfect”, or spending time with her friends and family,… stuff nobody would object to without being completely psycho). I’ve met plenty of rational, logical women… but they didn’t like my wife and my wife didn’t like them. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/09/24 08:25 PM |
| 2 | Not even a month and she’s sending me stuff about couples that lasted longer than us.We were polyamorous for 13 years. It worked fine and was part of our relationship since the beginning… we had a rule that if ever someone tried to split us up, we dump them. It made us prioritize each other and went very well… until she decided I didn’t love her anymore and then she found a random monogamous guy to shack up with instead. She definitely thought she’d get an easy out by just painting me as an alcoholic and I think me sobering up made her panic cause then she realized I could get h… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/09/24 06:31 PM |
| 11 | Went looking for answers..Rock bottom.Sometimes two people can’t be good enough to keep each other happy until they learn the lessons they could only learn by falling apart. Try to remember that you’re also capable of being this improved person for someone who won’t have the interpersonal baggage and distrust. We can’t go back, but we can move forward. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/09/24 12:59 AM |
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