My ex and I are almost a year separated and divorced since March and share custody of a 7th grader. She lives with the boyfriend she left me for last year.

Our current agreement has her responsible for custody of our son during the summer and me during the school year with alternating weekends year-round. This was decided because I have a full time job and she doesn’t work… just mooches off her bf and has no car of her own… so I can handle custody better during the school year. The balance of custody is such that neither of us owe significant child support to the other so it was waived in the divorce and we’re just each expected to pay for his needs while he’s with us.

Her boyfriend apparently lost power to his house and so now they have to run a generator until the power company fixes it. She begged me to take our son until it’s fixed and I agreed thinking it would just be a couple days due to the remote area in which they live. Turns out her bf’s family owes 5 figures to the power company and so the odds of it being turned back on are slim. They have AC through the generator now, and refrigeration… but the amount of stuff they can plug in is limited and my kid’s a huge gamer so he would be bored out of his mind there and happier with me.

But I have a full time job. I can’t keep bringing him to work with me every day especially next week when I won’t even be at my office but in the field. Part of me wants to insist he go back to stay with them for that week even if he’s miserable, but a much more protective parent side of me doesn’t want that to happen.

I’m at a loss for what to do. She’s saying she’ll be heading to a shelter Friday if the power isn’t back, as she’s pissed off at her bf for hiding this and refuses to live in those conditions, but I was counting on her to help with parenting and frankly if this is the hand she’s dealt herself I feel like she needs to suck it up and keep staying somewhere that the kid can also live, but I love my son too much to make that his problem even if it’s still possible for him to live without AC… and school starts in a couple weeks anyway.

I’m also debating trying to get full custody and hit her with child support after all because I definitely need financial assistance if I’m responsible 24/7 but I’m afraid of two things: 1. She will never have money to pay me no matter what she’s ordered to do and would rather go to jail than work. 2. She will end up getting a sympathetic judge to pity her, award her full custody, and make me pay child support since I am the one employed… and I can’t afford that plus alimony plus all the debts I’m in after the divorce.

I don’t hate her, she’s my son’s mom, I want her to be ok… but I am torn knowing how unfair it is that yet again I’m responsible for cleaning up her mess and dealing with consequences of her actions. What would you suggest?