I don’t know why I’m posting about this other than to help me talk process it.

My ex lost physical custody because she’s engaged to a guy who doesn’t pay his bills and so basics like power and plumbing got shut off last summer. Neither of them make enough to turn them back on and so since then my kid’s been with me full time and we reworked the custody agreement to reflect that. Despite that she still accepted his ring and made sure to rub it in to try and make me jealous which was… pretty pathetic.

People kept telling me that she would eventually come crawling back and I didn’t believe them but now she literally is. Says that she can’t stand her life now, wants the kind of love I was giving her back in her life, and is ashamed of missing so much on the new memories I’m making with the kiddo. She’s asked what she can do to be welcome back. I have a pretty good thing going for myself now dating 3 different polyamorous women who aren’t as attractive as my ex but are loads more trustworthy and stable and I’m very happy to be surrounded by love and affection but still retain my own space and autonomy. I would consider dating my ex again cause she’s hot and is my kid’s mom but not if she wants me to be exclusive with her. More than anything I’d be thrilled to have her fiancée out of her and subsequently my kid’s life as he is terrible and took advantage of her trust and a likely personality disorder during a rough patch in our marriage, helped her accuse me of SA/abuse charges to have me removed from my home while they took half the stuff in it (the charges didn’t stick because they were fabricated), and he’s threatened/intimidated me multiple times since we separated.

I’m trying to find a delicate balance between letting her think there’s a chance so she leaves him or he finds out she’s not loyal and kicks her out, but not giving her a chance to move in or disrupt my other relationships, and hopefully find her a better living situation where she can actually be responsible for our kid sometimes but as her own independent self too… or even with a guy she DIDN’T collaborate with to fuck with me out of spite but someone else that’ll be good to her.

Thanks for reading. Hot takes welcome.