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0neMinute Archive

View 18 posts and 824 comments by 0neMinute on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

You sound like a mess, you shouldn’t be hopping from marriage to marriage regardless of the culture. Leave one relationship before you start another.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/26 02:40 PM
4

Stop feeling pitty for yourself, it will only weigh youyou down down. Stop saying your taking from her, roles reversed she would scream for every lady penny. Want to be a good father then start fighting, fight for a good career that you can watch the kids and work. Fight to get a place to live, fight to get in shape. Fight not her but the self that allows you to give up and look for the easy path of giving up.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/26 12:54 PM
2

If the kids with her parents go for full custody, the grandparents should be welcomed in their grand children’s life but not as surrogate parents if the parents are near by, go get a lawyer and please don’t say you don’t have enough for one.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/26 05:40 PM
3

Why did you let her move to Australia? You gave up your child and now confused what to do when its all over. At this point your options might be to move to Australia and fight for 50/50 and be apart of your child’s life.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/26 03:17 PM
11

Biggest take away , you keep seeing these women are emotionally unavailable during the marriage and think everything is alright ( alot of men are guilty of this) imo men need to leave women more often for not being able to communicate. Too often women are alone in a relationship due to the walls they build themselves inside of the relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/26 04:34 PM
1

7 years is long term marriage in some places but alimony shouldn’t last long depending on the state. If you allowed her to follow you around after 2020 then you have been fully married the whole time and not separated. There is alot of details that need toto be e sorted such as pre marriage assets etc before even considering 50/50 assets split, hopefully you kept those things and her funds separate. Best of luck don’t get married again it’s a suckers business.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/26 01:56 PM
1

I mentioned sahp ( i think it came out as shap though?) i absolutely think provisioning for stay at home parents ( its 2026 so no gender bias on it) is a specific item to address for 50/50. It is 2026 and most families are dual income and most people also largely don’t move far from their home town last i researched ( might need to relook for updates). The idea of moving or giving up a career for a single income household is a shrinking %.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/26 12:01 AM
0

That seems more fair, assets split based on income would be nice. Exceptions of course being for evidence of moving for spouses income or shaparent are should also be considered
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/26 11:37 PM
0

Tbf divorce does that to men right now so the argument could be made that neither system works atm. I’m not in favor of keeping people in marriages they don’t want to be in and I’m also not in favor of women taking a huge amount that they never worked for, not to mention cs and alimony.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/26 10:13 PM
1

I’ll have to look into algeria can’t say i know much about their laws, can you help?
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/26 09:14 PM
1

Glad you have that in there but know those are good faith agreements a d aren’t enforceable.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/26 09:13 PM
5

Two sides won’t agree on anything and one side wants to remove the other. How else do you handle other than the government?
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/26 07:46 PM
3

Get out, its not mixed signals women just like the best of both worlds. She wants you in the hook but at arm’s length so she can go play the field a bit first. Once she gets a new guy watch how fast your the evil villain ( he’ll she may already have one but he hasn’t committed)
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/26 05:01 PM
7

You have two adult daughters, let them be adults and cut communication with your ex wife. Your plan was terrible imo as you aren’t co parenting in this situation and she is under no obligation to do what you requested. I wouldn’t go personally, any helping your daughter is between you and your daughter not your ex. Would you rent the truck if your ex didn’t exist? If so then do it
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/26 10:48 AM
2

Had this situation, as long as you have paperwork showing you are attempting to move forward you are fine. I got stuck past the initial 180 days due to some errors on my part on the order of operations that ended up pushing past the 180 days ( think it ended up at day 200?). Ex threatened to make me sue etc and even told me to sell , i ignored and continued with the process. Continue to show good faith and that you are making earnest attempts at moving forward and you should be fine, of course c…
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/26 10:35 AM
1

It is normal, i had my ex get it as well too even things out, for me at work its very meager amount of money (5 dollars a check or something? ) so it doesn’t hurt for her to have it as well.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/26 08:42 PM
9

Dude it’s been 6 months get out while it’s new and no kids
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/26 03:53 PM
6

Why wouldn’t it stand up in court? I would bring it up to a lawyer but be prepared for it to effect your relationship with that child.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/26 02:13 PM
3

I agree, men need to get better about building social lives outside of women or who their partner is. We see it time and time again, you make your partner your world and then they leave hating it.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/26 02:12 PM
2

Why don’t you still have your own kids? At some point they may move away due to nothing but age and distance
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/26 03:21 AM
5

Dude your 62 why the heck did you get married?? You have lived a full life and have many good years to go don’t get caught again.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/26 06:52 PM
11

Make sure your kids know stay at home wives ate a huge liability. Divorce rates to high for either gender to risk it. Not saying it can’t work but it hurts both sides in case of a divorce and breadwinners get hurt the most.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/26 05:30 PM
9

I can’t say for specifics but it’s a pretty normal story around here. Woman marries man for what he brings to the table, government says hey at any time your allowed to take half his stuff without putting in even a third of it. Modern marriage makes 0 sense for breadwinners.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/26 02:23 AM
1

Your in the prime of your life, hopefully your kids are older, this will allow you to go on adventures both with them and solo as well. Go find a hot piece to have fun with but not take serious. Go make stories and a progress in your job or hobbies.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/26 03:32 PM
6

Sounds like she is trying out a new guy but wants you to wait out the honey moon stage
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/26 10:19 PM
3

You stay for your son because he deserves a present father. I’m in a similar but not as tough distance wise. I moved from one state to another for my ex wife. As soon as we had kids she immediately flipped scenes and said i was abusive with money etc. she was actually cheating the whole time, I’m now in a state where i don’t have family. What have i done since divorce? With 50/50 custody i spend my off time building a new community for myself and my son during my time. Its not perfect, its not e…
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/26 12:05 PM
3

You can only control yourself. Anything that requires controlling others is outside of the law until it becomes that. Imo, hit harder on the financial side. You can control that and honestly is what you will need to survive.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/26 01:33 AM
8

This, stop living in your old life. Go build s new life and be thankful you have the means to do so
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/26 11:39 AM
7

I’m confused why didn’t you throw it on a family credit card? You are entitled to half of all current assets and credit, women do it all the time. Go read the divorce womens group for some nasty tricks.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/26 01:42 AM
18

Dude your delusional if you think you can repair this, she wanted you to goto jail that night, now that she went she will be on a full on revenge spree. I wish you the best but your marriage is over due to her actions, you need a lawyer and a protection order against her fast before she gets one on you over bs charges. But a personal camera that clips onto asap and turn it on anytime your around her and keep calm for all interactions.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/26 01:24 PM
1

You got this
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/26 08:23 PM
5

I’m confused why are you giving her the benefit of the doubt? I’m not saying yelling at her was right but i also have a water front property to sell you in the desert.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/26 05:35 PM
6

Don’t mention the promotion, she can find it in three years.
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/26 03:12 AM
3

You’re giving up the house until everyone graduates and leaves. That’s a big one 1, you’re giving up custody instead of intending to move into the area if possible. You have no job, i would not be surprised if it looked like you were just trying to cash out and run in the judge’s eyes ( I’m not saying you are doing that just the optics sound bad from the little i can read here). I wish you the best keep fighting. Men don’t get their fair share easy.
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/26 01:49 AM
5

Respectfully you are going to get ran over in court, none of the above is even close to fair but you are the only one making concessions and trying to make things easy. Did you do this often in the marriage?
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/26 01:31 AM
6

Why aren’t you getting 50% custody? Why are you expecting cs if you’re not aiming for time? Go for it all or go nothing
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/26 12:44 AM
8

If you don’t go for every last penny and full custody you will regret it. She is going to go after every dime and have 0 empathy moving forward, your starting from 0 with a 3 year old .
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/26 11:37 AM
4

I would love to hear from people who had young children and now are almost at 18 or have finished up past 18. At what point do the kids realize the cheater did it all? The abuse via the children is just non stop 3 years in
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/26 01:32 PM
7

No offense but your saying you don’t want problems with her when they are already at your door. You don’t get your fair share by playing nice with someone who is doing the opposite. Hit her where it hurts or be a smacking stick, best of luck my dude you deserve a good life.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/26 11:21 PM
11

Get that 50/50 and get child support
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/26 10:34 PM
2

Even if cs is agreed on now nights matter, she can go for more cs after she has established more then 60% nights.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/26 07:58 PM
4

Make sure your offering for the kids to stay with you, she can go live wherever. Get full custody
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/26 12:20 PM
2

Get a lawyer tomorrow, if she leaves to Alaska now your cooked
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/26 03:03 AM
9

Men could do so as well ( some do). The answer is men are builders. We want to rebuild after divorce women want to prove their worth and that you were the problem.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 08:07 PM
1

Cs should be nothing in 50/50 especially at those wages
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 09:43 AM
2

Did couples therapy, it was done the second the therapist said anything was wrong on her side.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/26 05:46 PM
5

A lot of states got rid of common law
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/26 01:03 PM
9

Your a year in and still trying to be reasonable? Best of luck
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/26 06:15 PM
7

Its normal to tell her no, your only job is to keep the house tidy and get it ready for sale. Her car is her responsibility, be rest for her to get nasty though once she realizes your not there anymore. Imo sell the house asap and get it before it goes to shit
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/26 05:37 PM
5

1) get over revenge, use it as fuel to ignite motivation but don’t act on actual revenge its a waste and will only hurt you. 2) find a niche job that pays well and go overload on it in your spare time to become top dog. You got this keep moving forward and remember never again
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/26 04:13 PM
0

You met her kids before 6 months and your worried she might also be cheating? I wouldn’t press too hard id wake up a bit and walk back before i got in to deep.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/26 11:12 PM
5

Dude she cheated on you each time with the baby daddy when she moved out. Do you think she moved back because of love? The new guy isn’t you and doesn’t provide what you provide that’s it. Now she is pregnant and reality is hitting. She is for the streets and your getting a clean break, don’t let her back in you have already been divorced once take the second L and keep it moving. Dont get married again
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/26 02:15 PM
2

Usually the new guy is pretty desperate himself
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/26 11:42 AM
1

[ Removed by Reddit ]
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/26 02:07 AM
2

You can’t, aim for 50/50 and stay within a reasonable distance 20 miles or less
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/26 07:33 PM
2

Oh dam that’s crazy
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/26 11:15 AM
2

That’s not a mediator , are you sure that isn’t her lawyer saying she is mediating? It sounds like it
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/26 11:00 AM
2

To give you an idea, when i used a heloc to buy out my ex wife the heloc company had to get s signed letter from her saying it was ok because she was still on the mortgage
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/26 10:46 AM
2

If your name is on the loan and you didn’t sign for the heloc that’s fraud. Do you have a lawyer? You sound like you don’t have a lawyer
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/26 02:53 AM
3

50/50 is standard unless there is proven theft etc to make it seem like one side already got there share Example: i paid 10k taxes and ex wife kept her car that had 15k equity. I got house split 60/40 me so i made out maybe 5-10 more but not really
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/26 02:34 AM
23

Dude your ex isn’t a background check, what she did is a huge red flag. She would have constantly been looking over for shoulder and extremely controlling. You dodged a bullet and you’re upset it didn’t hit you
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/26 07:47 PM
4

Hey bud keep calm, always gentlely correct , “ that would be mr so and so you only have 1 dad” dint argue only mention it once and move on. Make notes and put your child in therapy if possible, additionally get ready for family court.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/26 01:57 PM
8

Mine was a teacher, cheated with a parent who she would constantly bring up at home saying he was a deadbeat to his kids and the mother was an ex junkie and probably dead.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/26 01:12 PM
6

Imo , just reading this you sound like you were a helicopter parent who forgot your son was a person and not just your child. Now that he can make choices he went with the easier option and least resistance. Your parenting might have worked in a full unit but when there is another side to it then your actually self sabotaging yourself all the while patting yourself on the back and getting validation from everyone but the son who you are parenting. Suggestion: back off and let him know you love h…
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/26 08:45 PM
6

You could get a no contact or restraining order from her with exceptions to school events and EC
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/26 07:45 PM
6

I’m not sure why so many here are against your words when they all ended up here for similar reasons you are stating. American marriage is serfdom for the breadwinner with the threat of losing it all. Marriage as a concept in america has no benefits.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 04:11 PM
1

Ty for the info
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 09:52 PM
1

Tried, he said he was trying to say hi to his step kids ( my kids) and wanted nothing to do with me but i kept harassing him ( yes he somehow turned it on me , think he has done this rodeo before)
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 08:32 PM
1

I stay away but they follow me around at events
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 07:49 PM
4

Often enough women leave via cheating and then use the pain and children to hurt the man. Is that also a people thing?
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 11:08 AM
3

Who says they aren’t? After my divorce a woman who was a woman ages 25-45 .
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/26 11:51 AM
1

If you want to stay friends give it 6 months to a year, you’re still wayy too attached to be jumping into friendship.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/26 08:43 PM
7

Mine demanded to be a sthm, she then spent the first month of it going to another state to cheat with an ex boyfriend from 10 yrs ago.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/26 05:32 PM
10

Ex pushed hard for marriage and kids after 7 years. Got married and had kids by year 8. Year 9 she left and cheated but delayed divorce. Year 10 comes kid 2 , year 11 she cheated and initiated divorce. By year 12 we where divorced and she was engaged with in 6 months to ap
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/26 03:37 PM
6

Hey a co parenting app and keep it moving. She doesn’t even like you she just doesn’t like being alone. The second she gets a new boy toy things will go back to what they where.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/26 10:10 PM
2

I agree with this, she won’t send anything. Will the court look down on her for not? Probably not , but it won’t matter in the grand scheme of things.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/26 09:21 PM
5

I would only do that if they considered putting the house on the market now. If you agree to it while not living there then she can drag out the divorce and has no reason to end it.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/26 06:58 PM
3

If she is recording then she isn’t considering she is already trying to get dirt.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/26 10:35 AM
3

I’m two years out with young kids the more time goes on i ask the same thing. My ex wife puts the kids in the middle of things and has tried to get me arrested and tale the kids multiple times. If she was still living with me id have to deal with that type of person in person
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/26 11:35 AM
3

If you had been healed from the beginning you probably would have left her before getting serious. If your story is anything like most here, she had plenty of red flags or daddy issues that were apparent but ignored out of love. Its not a weakness but a realization, while you wanted to work on imperfections as a family she was keeping score and finding someone who would validate her insecurities.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/26 12:50 AM
7

Your wife cheated and you still blaming yourself. Therapy is needed but remember, it is not your fault she cheated full stop.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/26 12:29 AM
6

Why were you entertaining any sm drama from your ex? Who cares who blocked who that’s not related to co parenting. Side with your spouse and move your ex to only focusing on co parenting.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/26 02:13 PM
4

This is all sound advice thank you!
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/26 08:55 PM
2

I didn’t want to go out to bars to pick up women and my area is full of married people so local spots are hard. Paying for apps allowed me to almost gamify finding someone, i can admit i got at least 5 -10 likes a week vs 1-2 when free. These companies do make it pay2 play the free part only works if you have extremely good pictures. Ie rule 1 and rule2
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/26 10:01 PM
4

50/50 or nothing in all things go for equality
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/26 01:02 AM
1

Go read majority of womens subs, they all hype each up for the largest effect in a conversation. You can have a woman say her life is perfect but her husband slammed a door hard, immediate rattling about how that is abusive etc. Woman then hits a man and no one says anything or rally to say he deserves it. Crazy stuff
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/26 12:48 AM
9

You have a high conflict divorce you just haven’t admitted it yet
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/26 08:57 PM
3

Yes new Reddit account and change your job from construction to something with cutting hair or nails.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/26 01:57 AM
11

Equitable division means Little in ga, i was in reverse situation financially and she got 50/50 equity and i got 50/50 custody. Go for the bag and don’t let her guilt you, trust me she won’t be feeling sad for you when chad moves in the next day. Get child support at least 500+ and see about alimony as 7 years is considered long term marriage in ga. Best of luck and remember to keep your distance and no raising your voice or she will start saying you hit her.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/26 01:56 AM
3

Omg this, mothers day always started with a $400 dollar brunch of heaven forbid if she didn’t also get flowers cards and a ton of social media love and day of activities . Father’s Day? Here is a $30 box of mouse pads now pay for a vacation for me to be near my family on your birthday.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 12:39 PM
25

Agreed, spent 3 years thinking we where working through things 2nd child and all. She was gone by his second birthday. 2 years of lost 30 pounds, have ran a marathon and doubled my income. Only problem i have now is once they realize your happy they start using the children to hurt you.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 01:58 AM
3

Unless she can prove you somehow benefited from the low price then no judge is going to care. 50/50 on 5 dollars is still 2.50. You don’t benefit unless somehow you’re getting extra. Best of luck its just going to be a waste of money on both sides.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/26 06:38 PM
7

If i understood your story correctly, in 7 years you were divorced, dated woman 1, broke up, dated woman 2 proposed, broke up, dated woman 3 got engaged and married in a year. Your now saying 2.5 years so maybe I’m misunderstanding?
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/26 06:48 PM
7

I say this with respect, you are not healed. You went from relationship to relationship and proposed each time, you have to slow down and stop forcing things. I wish you luck and hoping for the best.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/26 06:38 PM
1

You’re better off posting this anon in your local county facebook group. In my area lawyers and insurance agents are very active in those groups.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/26 01:22 PM
1

I have read your other comments and understand your hurting but don’t let that hurt turn you bitter and into thinking all men are worthless etc. i know for a fact my ex also did things and i wasn’t doing everything alone, what i didn’t like was how often she would turn to passive aggressive comments saying i didn’t do enough or someone elses husband did more then i did. It was as if we were keeping score and keeping up with 5 different pairs of joneses that only she knew about.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/26 01:10 PM
2

I’m sorry you experienced that, trust me when i say i understand how it feels to be told you do nothing around the house. It is not fun and has you on edge at all times.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/26 11:16 AM
4

Short of abusive men, most guys just want to be left alone. Divide up chores and keep it moving don’t try to invalidate my experience, in a womans subreddit you comment would be deleted and banned. Here men try ( for the most part) to accept we aren’t perfect and move on.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/26 12:20 AM
16

Ever take care of all needed responsibilities and still get told to do nothing around the house? I’m talking cooking, cleaning, feeding the kids, getting them to and from school, shower, paying 90% of all bills and still being told you’re useless? I don’t hear it anymore and it took me about 6 months to a year before i realized it, no one is calling me useless. Its wonderful
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/26 11:21 PM
1

You need to check out the calculator for Georgia it will give you a rough idea and for the love of god don’t send cash. Everything should be electronic with a tag or description that says child support. If not she will get you for back pay in the future. Also consider your child support should include that you have 3 children and 1/3 of the child support should be deducted due to you have one 100%. Best of luck
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/26 07:31 PM
11

You stay far far away from her, the scared thing is a tactic to get you arrested or a restraining order. Get therapy if you believe you are need but do not trust her.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/26 01:50 PM
1

Glad ti hear!
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/26 05:29 PM
2

Yea she is coming for alimony, check your state laws. Hopefully your not in a forever state
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/26 02:49 PM
2

Did you make more then her in a long term marriage? (7+ years) if so yes she will go for it
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/26 02:26 PM
3

She cheated so none, if she hadn’t? Definitely 50% no one is perfect
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 11:05 PM
3

She tried again to get her ducks in a row , keeping you in a loop is part of the game. File now once it is said then it’s already over. Remove her from texts asap as they will be used in the future against you even normal conversations
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 10:45 AM
2

Get out before things get worse, you might even find after a couple of months of self reflection that you’re both good people but just incompatible for a long term relationship. As is you will end up resentful of the whole situation as will she.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 09:30 PM
6

If you don’t have kids then get out! Things got worse with kids not better, everything negative became the main topic and nothing i did was good enough.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 07:23 PM
7

Your already divorced and don’t even know it, she isn’t interested in another guy she was already having an affair and is trying him out before committing. Go get a divorce while she is in affair fog.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 10:22 AM
16

She got dumped, she isn’t into you she is just facing reality that she was pumped and dumped and doesn’t have a break up. You need to move out asap or this will get worse.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 10:00 AM
1

This group saved me as well, one day at a time. The path forward is work but I’m not scared of work.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/26 12:13 PM
3

You don’t need permission to leave just go file
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/26 11:51 AM
8

You don’t know until you go, i had three in a row that i liked that called bs in both sides. The fourth went against all three and my ex took her as a personal therapist before asking for divorce. Be careful of therapist shopping.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/26 10:24 AM
1

Check your parenting plan but if you share custody that normally includes address in which child lives. You would need court, alarming complex won’t get involved.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/26 09:56 PM
3

Unless the kids are under 3 i would say she is looking to keep you as a weekend dad. I would personally only discuss 50/50 parenting schedules moving forward if that is your aim. If you do a step up program as a good faith it will be turned around on you and eventually used against you in court. Outside of a court agreement or something written up and signed legally none of it counts and most stories on reddit all mention regret of not getting parenting plans.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/26 01:30 PM
1

It’s crazy how you can be the consistent and stable bread winner for years and they think they where the reason. Oh don’t forget how much contribution it takes to look at TikTok for holiday ideas!
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/26 11:35 AM
7

Ooo did she get her idea for life from TikTok often and watch videos of all the blended families going on vacation?
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/26 12:02 AM
1

Your in a self imposed bind, as long as the ex is the one telling people what to do on your time and invading your time then that is the issue. My ex is not allowed at my house as she would do wht your ex does, disrespect me as a parent. The boy friend isn’t the problem your ex and co parent is, heck she might even be telling this guy to handle them.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/26 12:15 PM
2

I will agree with this but the part where the guy went to ops house is drawing the line. At that point i would get a restraining order for trespassing and goto court for parental interference. My time is my time, your time os your time. I can’t and won’t tell the kids what they can do at my ex’s and I tell them the same in reverse. Is your kid tired of it and a teenager ? Good you get to tell him he has a choice he can make then consult with an attorney on full custody. Stop telling your ex your…
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/26 09:44 PM
1

Why is college involved in the divorce? Support her to do her dreams but don’t involve it in papers or set a reasonable amount for college 15k a year at most for 4 years then let her figure out the rest.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/26 01:33 AM
2

She lived with you a month, other then wedding gifts what else is there to split?
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 09:51 PM
7

This is a ex problem not an app problem. I would ignore those messages and rsvp when your able to
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 12:50 PM
3

The amount of ppl who think only abusive fathers get the shaft is undeniable. Everyone assumes court will see and stop abuse. Courts don’t care about mental damage as its not a dollar sign.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/26 06:31 PM
1

It sounds like you ( your parents count as you in family court) had full custody. I hope you have lots of pictures and activities with them during that time. You should aim for full custody and will probably end up at 50:50 with your parents house or yours as the primary house if you play it right.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/26 01:19 AM
1

My only concern would be he mentioned one of the seperation s, did the asset’s get co mingled after reconciliation or put into a individual account in parents name etc.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/26 08:39 PM
4

I don’t think you missed anything
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/26 03:50 AM
1

Cheaters will always hide why is him hiding such a surprise?
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/26 09:16 PM
2

Dating apps really are an easy A as long as you are an average guy who presents well and can move conversations into a date fast. When i was first divorced i got one or two dates every other week and closed a majority of them by the third date. Key for me was being ok with ghosting and rejection. Once your ok with that you move on to the next one fast and find out there is plenty of fish in the sea and you only need one so you chances are actually very healthy you will find someone.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/26 03:21 PM
2

Get a lawyer that practices and knows the judge in county in which your divorce is. Ga is very county specific and each county aligns differently as far as which are mother counties.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/26 06:01 PM
8

She most likely did cheat, she used the independent schema to keep you on the hook to she figures out the new guy situation. Don’t sit around waiting for her to apologize, give closure etc. keep working on you, if that means sleeping around? Cool , i don’t think that will fox it but everyone is different. Go find out what happiness means to you in this new world, it will take time but you got it handled. Also for me creating space and boundaries ( remember boundaries are for you not her) from my…
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/26 03:54 PM
6

She got a protection order against you, what feelings do you think are going to be worked out? You don’t try to put your loved ones in jail, that’s reserved for when things are way past their due date. What you did was the best course of action based on her actions ( i can’t say what you did or didn’t do for the pfa) but her actions are pretty clear.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/26 07:27 PM
1

Nah this is a 2nd or 3rd ap but they all look the same. Its actually kind of weird how they all match the same general features, must be some kind of teams of hers.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/26 10:44 AM
3

Bm hates me for who knows what reason other then her own issues, as a result this guy does lots of petty stuff to try and get me arrested. Lots of stalking and then running to the cops type stuff, its weird but the guy os creepy attached to the kids. When they say cheaters affair down they aren’t kidding.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/26 12:23 PM
17

My biggest issue will always be the kids, she had a new guy and married by 1 year after divorce. New guy is trying extra hard to be dad during his time and convincing my young kids that their family is the real family. Its creepy, not to mention the constant attempts at full custody for more child support.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/26 10:44 AM
4

The best part of this sub is that it isn’t a women hating club but a place for hurt and blindsided ppl to get advice and support . Unless their post history is disgusting we shouldn’t care about gender.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/26 01:45 PM
1

What is needed for primary custody? If feel fighting over it is hard for a man.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/26 08:50 PM
6

Your asking yourself a question out loud, what are you doing about it? I found male support groups online, they exist even in your local area check Facebook etc. therapist is an app away now a days indo therapy via an app. Go make new friends join a hobby, don’t look over the fence start building on your own plot.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/26 05:36 PM
3

Join s hobby group, jiu jitsu, run club, gym
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/26 06:51 PM
3

Your over reacting because she never stopped cheating and you stayed. She is gone and confronting him will do nothing,what could you do other then risk jail time? Fast edit: go look up silver bullet divorce. She will use ap to make you angry while playing innocent, if you play into her hand you will lose your kids. Aim for 50/50 and keep the divorce moving while she is smitten with the dush
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/26 04:54 PM
10

In the wrong for being mad? No In the wrong for expressing it to her and expecting her to care? Yes Hell she might do it for fun now, remember the disrespect and start to distance yourself from her. You are not about to be in a good co parenting relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/26 07:54 PM
1

What country is this? In the usa you can file for abdomen t at this point. Move on your marriage is over imo
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/26 07:22 PM
2

Looking for advice? Dont let us see this title a third time in the next five years.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/26 05:20 PM
1

You will have a strong case , when 50/50 hits make sure to secure education to keep him in same school. Also extra curricular get on paper she will bring him during her time and agree on football or she could just not bring him.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/26 10:13 PM
1

In Georgia there is a calculator for it, they will impute her income as minimum wage working 40 hours ( she will need to get a job) . I have 50/50 and pay 900 for two kids.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/26 10:09 PM
2

Hope she likes Georgia then, i think the max realistic distance either parent is able to move is an hour and even then it gets dicey depending on the judge and district. Georgia is very county dependent some counties are mother counties and favor them from onset.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/26 05:14 PM
4

If they live in Georgia then your already winning, I’m in Georgia and from my lawyer the answer has always been the one who moves loses the kids. Never heard of the program but wish you the best.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/26 05:06 PM
3

She can move and you need to figure out how to handle the kids. You will be working to keep her lively hood up and miss everything. Aim for 50/50 she needs a job dont meet the kids leave more than a reasonable distance that is fair to both.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/26 02:01 AM
1

She wants to seperate , the rift is already there you just don’t want to admit it. Start getting your own bak account and putting your own check in there. Discuss how you want to pay bills at 50/50 and split existing funds in bank 50/50.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/26 02:28 PM
1

I think this is just as bad, you’re helping push the narrative that their mother is good. If she is a bad person than at worst be neutral and let them form their own opinions.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/26 11:04 AM
7

If you have no kids then you really don’t need to advertiste your divorce. You’re still a free man, if asked make it a small sentence and keep it going.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 02:19 PM
4

I have 50/50 custody and still pay child support. For the sake of all men, file for it. Women deserve equality and the responsibility that comes with it. In my preference no one pays child support if even custody and go from there. Atm women want to be women plus all the benefits of equality.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/26 02:54 PM
11

Why would you get married a second time? After 30 year marriage I’m assuming your almost at retirement and to a younger woman? I wish you the best but hope you got a prenup
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/26 05:23 PM
4

Georgia divorce here, your feeling it because you are being taken to the cleaners. She came prepared with lawyer, its a mother state for most counties so be prepared for long term marriage alimony and childcare support plus 50% of all assets. Expect child support to be roughly 20% of pre tax gross plus extra curriculars etc and alimony to be another 10 to 15% if it hits. Your immediate goal is lawyer up and aim for a quick resolution to start building back. Check this calculator out it will give…
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 08:38 PM
2

If she is threatening divorce she has already been looking or will start looking for a way out. This could include cheating or other means . I can’t guess your situation but once the ball is dropped it is only a matter of time.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 01:13 AM
2

I’m hoping you worded it different then that? If not why would you even bother with a discussion?
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/26 01:44 PM
2

You will have to wait till comps in the area go up. Any decent appraiser can at most swing a 10-20% difference in the direction you want. As long as comps are relatively close your in for a waiting game imo, speak to multiple appraisers though and get their opinion. Do research on comps in your area.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/26 04:00 PM
1

Classic my money is my money, your money is our money situation. Learned lesson keep finances separate next time and add money yo joint accounts with agreed upon amounts.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 07:28 PM
3

Friends aren’t taken into custody equations, this conversation can be ignored.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 07:25 PM
1

At this point if divorce has been mentioned and she isn’t seeking reconciliation but also wanting to move forward then you are both done and you can’t put the ketchup into the bottle. Make it as peaceful as possible and make sure you both stay in the same school zones . Mine moved to a different school zone even though i didn’t move.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 03:41 PM
9

Oh i thought the same, i was sad but accepting that she wanted to move on. The second she moved out, she had our kids sleeping at a new mans house within days. She would hit the neighbors house and ask for the kids so her new family could eat together. She would show up to exchanges with extra people after agreeing not to. Alot of childish look I’m not technically touching you stuff. We agreed to tell the children it was amicable, or if the house? Nope daddy is at fault. I’m not saying it’s impo…
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 01:05 PM
3

Once she says divorce it’s over, she has been planning longer then you know and most likely stopped trying. You can’t have a one sided marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/26 10:43 AM
3

Messages like this need to be auto generated on every blindside post
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/26 04:27 PM
1

I second this, the amount of women who actually enjoyed the idea of 50/50 custody was surprising to me and saw as a plus. Especially when i told them the boundaries around meeting him ( was seen as responsible and not a negative)
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/26 03:29 PM
6

Didn’t you just lose your pokemon cards at that one shady store for a random private tournament? Dam what a shame now you have no assets
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 05:37 AM
1

It’s also not bad advice and very gender neutral, other than notifying who she was this wasn’t spam etc.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 03:07 AM
5

Funny thing, previous generation alienated the fathers. How often do you remember heading of dad being around vs today? Now we know, men didn’t have a choice. Women used kids as weapons and men today are fighting back more.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/26 05:07 AM
2

At 14 the kids will get a large say in how they live if it becomes high conflict.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/25 07:08 PM
3

You sure put alot of faith in her hotness and her actions being the APs fault. What did George Bush say ? Fool me once shame on you , fool me twice? Well you can't fool me twice.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 08:26 PM
3

Why are you ok with being the guy breaking up a family? If it was meant to work it would 6 months after the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 06:21 PM
12

Only time i have heard it happen is if the man left or she gets dumped by the guy she left for. If someone else even meets minimal needs ( not better ) they will justify their actions. Ie if someone is willing to foot the bill for them why admit they where wrong?
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/25 03:31 PM
3

Prenup in the future should include an agreement of % based split depending on historical income of both partners. Ie inside of the relationship we are equal but if we are splitting we are doing so based on what we put in. Dont like it? That is unfortunate and i understand, i have to protect my kids as well as myself.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/25 01:22 PM
2

Ahh that makes sense and i can agree with. At 1 year you barely know someone let alone deciding they are a life partner . Heck i waited 7 years only to get the first threat of divorce while she was pregnant 9 months into marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/25 09:52 PM
1

Whats a fair amount of time to breathe? 2.5 years out and 6 months engaged. Meaning at 1.9 they got engaged hopefully together at least 1 year? Idk lots of info id aim for at least 3 years together before engaged but idk where i got that number from
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/25 08:52 PM
3

Second this, i ended up spreading the dumping over multiple people to avoid draining any one person and I’m sure i still drained a person or two. Also be careful about those who crave it too much, they can amp you up and get you angrier then you actually want to . Find a middle ground as hard as that is, there is no right answer.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 11:37 AM
10

No he is going to have to defend himself or face legal judgement with the judge only having one side of the story. He needs to prove martial and financial settlement has already been made and there has been no commingling of assets for the past 15 years. Best of luck
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 01:22 PM
6

Dont sell yourself short( strictly speaking to the other side after dating) . The only issue either side really has is confidence. Women need the confidence to walk away and judge an assortment of trash, and men have to push through till they find their island worth stopping at. Dating is a full time job though imo and it sucks , f the ppl who promised a lifetime and left on inconvenience.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 02:34 AM
12

The traditional life i thought we where both building, turns out that wasn’t her intention. She spent every dollar she had while calling me greedy for saving, she took half my savings and moved on to the next guy during the marriage. It is going to be hard to trust someone again after this type of betrayal, pre nup is mandatory next.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/25 03:27 PM
1

Update: judge gave a stern finger to both of us and asked us to think of the children. Ex agreed to co parenting therapy at first then tried to add in a bunch of other things. She lost all 8 counts of contempt and got no court fees. All a waste of money, outside of court i offered her to once again to goto co parenting therapy. She finally agreed so we will see how it turns out.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 12:55 AM
5

She most likely has had an ap or multiple aps, she thinks they will commit so she moves out. They don’t commit so she moves back in. She will rinse and repeat till one of them commits and then will finally divorce you.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/25 04:23 PM
4

Imo your seeing what you want, the truth is they aren’t your family so they aren’t your concern anymore ( that part hurts but is the truth moving forward). You can still have a good relationship with them separate from their relationship with her ( if thats what you want).
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/25 09:01 PM
9

Imo you need to move on, she is not your type.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/25 02:12 AM
2

I don't disagree with you but till the law changes the few times men actually do benefit from it they should take advantage of it. The laws won't change till women are also effected.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/25 11:11 PM
3

Go for your equal share, your 100% right she would go for it all.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/25 04:15 PM
4

It sounds like she makes more? You would be the one getting paid out not her
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/25 10:44 AM
7

Your not her friend, your her ex. Keep it moving.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/25 08:08 PM
16

She called you a narcissist with no arguing or fight? Whats the new guys name ?
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/25 10:49 AM
1

Go see a lawyer and an accountant, don’t think you find expertise here on those subjects.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 08:26 PM
1

Get this over before alimony kicks in, time helps her not you.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 07:56 PM
4

She is posting other guys? Sounds like she is already moving on. File for divorce and move on
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/25 11:55 PM
3

This, i guarantee she was a looker but crazy
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/25 12:01 AM
5

I dont think you can do anything other than be glad your therapist was aware of the situation and stay far far away from her. All contract should be via text no phone calls.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/25 08:45 PM
3

You need your own appraiser, go pay for it . Ask the appraiser to give you an honest high end value for the house then meet in the middle
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/25 08:08 PM
13

Its been 2 years, you have to move on. Imo it sounds like you thought she was coming back. I hope her having more kids helps you understand she is gone.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/25 05:44 PM
2

Only communicate over the app , make sure every complaint and communication is via the app. Avoid being near them and reference often conversations from the app. Ie make the parenting app your gospel so you fight all accusations in court. Ie : he never feeds her , why did you not voice your concerns ever via the parenting app? She voices concern about kid not eating in the app? Your response: you know that is not true , i fed her this morning before she went to school.
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/25 01:40 PM
18

Bonus points if she hated doing that when you where together.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/25 01:59 PM
11

Sounds like she is having her hot girl summer, my ex did the same didn’t buy a stable place to stay and is instead renting with her boyfriend/ husband ( literally one year together haha) . It will come to an end and you will be stable and she will be broke, you can rebuild she won’t see that life again.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/25 04:54 PM
9

Went to Colombia, panama and then bought myself a new car. My ex was heavily manipulative, anytime i wanted to buy something expensive she would cry and say we needed other stuff ( i had to bring her on 10k vacations every year, she bought a new car every other year , she picked Everything or would threaten divorce for 5 years)
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/25 02:54 PM
6

This , as i was reading more and more this guy sounds like the red flag. She wants to recover and heal and op is shoving a Disney land divorce down her throat. Leave her alone op you cheated and hurt her. Want to be nice? Leave her alone for a couple of years then try and be friends. Till then let her heal
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/25 01:33 PM
11

I love how the article already states that law makers care more about punishing the bad apples vs protecting the innocent. Not to mention the number of DV orders that are apart of the silver bullet divorce where women push men into a corner and make them pop. Its like the idea of innocent till proven guilty is removed when law makers consider thinking about parental rights for fathers.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/25 05:06 PM
5

100% projection , you start to question yourself and then notice. They controlled everything or there was a huge issue They where a constant victim and you had to apologize or nothing would move forward They had a backup already on deck on the way out if not overlapping You had to constantly be careful of your word choices or the whole day was ruined, they went cold on a dime.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/25 04:41 PM
5

Uhh no stand up for yourself, if she is talking like this she might already have someone lined up. She wants a split give her a split
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/25 04:25 AM
8

Bingo on this 80 / 20
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/25 04:54 PM
6

Tbf excluding depp did every single one of the others cheat?
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/25 01:09 PM
1

That’s first thing i thought, going for spousal support but not child support? There is an affair so doesn’t she lose that in most states if you can prove the affair?
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 03:34 PM
12

💯, dont pay captain save a hoe. If its a relationship to last it would be due to being mutual beneficial actions. Moving in due to need vs wants is a recipe for disaster
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 12:00 PM
1

This x 100 . No real man goes after a married woman. If she is meant to be yours let her sort her shit out and then 6 months later talk.
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/25 02:58 AM
7

At 3 years? No that’s the other person not handling it. That’s not your issue, maybe ask your daughter what she wants though since it’s her day? She is an adult at this point
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/25 11:02 AM
2

As a man ? Yes if the other guy is not a pos Reality? The other guy doesn’t care about you and would rather keep things quiet in his house vs standing on principals and wondering what will happen to him in the future.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/25 10:16 AM
9

If its outside of your normal schedule a non response is a no.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 06:04 PM
1

Your welcome to add to the conversation, a relationship isn't built on threats.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 11:51 PM
3

100 this, once the threat is out there its only a matter of how many times does she threaten to break up? Think of it this way how many times in a life time are you willing to tolerate her kicking you out ?
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 10:30 AM
1

You have to disclose regardless so it doesn’t matter
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/25 03:47 PM
11

You have already been divorced once, you know the drill. Once she says she is out you need to leave. It won’t get better unless she is begging for it . Most likely resentment is already building and its over.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/25 03:30 PM
8

Yea you better press charges or search as that situation gets reversed
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/25 03:37 AM
14

Your relationship is already over, she will be amicable until you say no. Get a lawyer and get some property out of that portfolio.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/25 06:12 PM
3

I’m confused what does the parenting plan say? Custody should be based on then plan. The mother could have them sitting at home all day doing nothing and that changes nothing. You need a set custody schedule based on at minimum 50/50
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/25 03:43 PM
5

I’m a year out, my ex had someone the next day literally ( no cheating right? 🤣🤣) . She was remarried within the year of the divorce. Then dude is a simp ( i hate the word but it suits him) , says yes to everything and is a 2x divorce already on his third marriage. You have to realize these ppl will never replace you as father. The only power these ppl have is the power you give them. Him having slightly more time for the summer isn’t a slight on you and only you are giving power to it. Be stron…
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/25 11:01 AM
8

He has that right, if your co parent allows it there is nothing you can do. Her time her rules.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/25 05:08 PM
2

How did you get luck with dates? Apps are terrible for me only averaging one or two dates a month currently.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/25 06:24 PM
2

I just started year two and just now starting to feel normal. What happened in your year 2 that made it dark? My ex moved in and married her ap within 9 months, hoping they have a kid together so she locks herself into bad choices but other then that i can’t see any additional events bringing me down unless she somehow is able to get my 50/50 revoked.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/25 04:39 PM
3

Marriage is a cash out plan for most women as the husband is the bread winner. They get 20-50% of the mans check and can ride off with a new guy and his income as well. They then get to claim they are independent and didn’t need anyone from the start.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/25 02:43 PM
9

Bingo, my ex got rejected by her ex boyfriend, was nice. Que 18 months later and new guy is in the picture and it started all over again. She just waited till she got a new sap to shoot for.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/25 11:33 AM
6

Social media has become an echo chamber of women can do no wrong. Can’t even look got self help videos without seeing it is men’s issues. No accountability fails on them and they reinforce it over and over.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/25 12:13 PM
5

My bets is her stalling till the lawyer fees eat up the equity on the house. To be fair though , my ex thought I couldn't afford to buy her out till I did. Year + later I am still in the martial house and she is renting eating through her settlement money going on vacations etc.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/25 01:45 PM
22

Except they normal also physically cheat but say , “we were already done in my eyes so it doesn’t count as cheating” all the while playing happy house till they finally make their exit.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/25 12:49 PM
2

Yeah i dont think you get, your now fighting for 25%. Its going to be a up hill battle as you are now inherently dangerous to both other and child. You involved your children in domestic violence.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/25 09:19 PM
12

Messed up bad, a man getting or showing any sort of aggression or anger is exactly what a woman wants in divorce. Look up silver bullet divorce, imo you should have kept your daughter that day and aimed for full custody noting her unwillingness to watch the child. Instead more tour going to be fighting for 25% , lawyer up real quick it’s going to be an expensive and bumpy ride.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/25 01:10 PM
8

Learn your lesson and don't get married, just date long term. If someone moves in protect yourself with legal documentation.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/25 08:28 PM
6

She got a new dude, if no real dv then this is all a setup so she can live rent free and new dude can move in soon enough. Your story is pretty normal on the sub, donsome diving into silver bullet divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/25 07:48 PM
2

No agreement means she is doing it out of spite and that can hurt her. Don’t mention anything till you get your lawyer but it wont look good.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/25 09:31 PM
2

Is there a settlement agreement? Mine started at both of signing and agreeing instead of at judges stamp
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/25 08:16 PM
6

Get a lawyer and go for full custody, note that she isn’t watching the kids and you are. Stop thinking you can save things it wont happen. She is the enemy, detatch and male note of family expenses vs her new life. Seperate funds.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/25 01:26 AM
2

That makes sense, we both agreed to the parenting plan and the argument is going to be we both ignored it.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/25 04:23 PM
1

Re engage? I’ll def ask my lawyer mainly trying to avoid paying her lawyer i dint want her to feel rewarded for hurting us both.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/25 10:43 AM
1

Thank you for the info. I think putting us both in our place and having to pay our own court costs would sick but be an acceptable outcome for me. I have room to improve with grey rocking so lesson learned.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/25 05:52 AM
1

This is more over items within the parenting agreement, i dont mess with cs that’s an open and shut seperate item. All items would be both parties not following other arrangements for daycare, school, extras outside such as sports. She decided early on she would do what she wanted so i agreed and did the same. Now she is going back and wanting to follow the plan but only on her choices.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/25 05:03 AM
3

As long as you dont bite into it ( will be hard) you can get it of the drama . Best of luck, i think my ex is going through something similar every time she starts an argument with me.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/25 02:02 AM
11

So she is an ap in a rollercoaster of emotions, she needs something to ground her and her anger directed at you allows her to find common ground with her ap. Dam stay strong
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/25 11:33 PM
7

Did she recently lose someone wether relationship or otherwise?
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/25 09:49 PM
1

If your worried i would message and say hey im outside to pick up the kids but dont knock. Let her open the door to let them out idk after my ex tried getting me with cops im super paranoid.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/25 01:13 AM
1

Not if you have a parenting plan, if you worried park in the street and don’t get out or stay by the car. Do not walk into her property or get near the front door or near her.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/25 01:03 AM
2

If your ex is high conflict the less info you give each other the better ( lets be honest any high conflict can be both sides being petty sometimes). Ie the less ammo both sides the better including work schedules. If your both working together then communication can be more fluid and flexible. Ie if she had threatened lawyers in the past 6 months stay far far away.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/25 12:49 AM
3

I feel like this might go around in circles unless you have a parenting plan agreeing that she pays , even then you would have to pay it upfront and then decide if the amount your suing for is enough
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/25 11:15 PM
3

This comes down to what do you want to do? It seems kid's dance lessons are coming to an end until Mom gets a paying job again either way.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/25 11:04 PM
5

Imo you should stop Mother’s Day gifts if you expect the same. It should never be transactional, on the more also. We all know time not gifts is the best we can hope for with our children.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/25 12:06 PM
1

I would just throw it out, i don’t want shit from the other side i just want time with my kids. Go make memories
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/25 04:47 PM
1

I’m not an expert but can’t she also use this to eventually over turn 50/50 which is my bigger worry
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/25 02:11 PM
1

I have a teacher ex as well , same situation. She can go eat bark, she lost half the kids lives when she cheated. Not to be petty but that’s life, i focus not on if she can do better while im working but how and what do i think is best for the kids? If i truly believe it best for the kids to see two sides of the coin, that does mean i will sometimes fail. That does mean they will sometimes be bored, that does mean my support only comes from me, my friends and family during my time. If you want t…
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/25 02:10 PM
3

I am 💯 with you, went to Disney the other day with the kids. All i could think is , she should be in these pictures. Too much dmg at this point now between us but dam it shouldn’t have been this way is the thought.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/25 03:33 PM
7

Get random feelings all the time, its a reminder I’m not fully detached and need to continue my work.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/25 03:26 PM
1

Evenings as in after work? That seems pretty normal for a divorced parent. Your child is the product of divorce might as well think if the schedule in that way and not be a weekend parent.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/25 11:31 PM
3

Your ex wife is stuck in Georgia the second you file, she won’t be able to leave the state. Dont let her take the kids out of state and file for residency in even a different county.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/25 11:41 PM
1

I would hope not, I dont want the opposite done to me where my ex can dictate my time. Does it suck for the child? Absolutely, that is the beans of divorce though and we can only work with in the means of what we have.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/25 11:43 PM
3

Yea def dont pretend, its worse for the kids when they can tell mom and dad hate each other but stay near each other. Put her in the corner and let her sit with her choices, if you don’t it will be worse when the replacement comes in and now you’re mad you were pushed out of things you already hated.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/25 06:29 PM
3

I am only a year in , it took all of about 3 months to learn I should just parallel parent. Do your thing on your time and allow her to do her thing on her time. You will still be the villain when you pull back for abandoning your kid but what are you going to do ? At least you will get some peace.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/25 11:06 PM
6

Not only can he choose but her moving is what normally prompts a custody change with the mover losing custody. Check with your lawyer i think the age is 14 which allows you to keep the kids out of it and make it about the moving parent. After you get custody make sure you aim for cs support with 60 40 custody. Tables turn and don’t be afraid to take the money like she did.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/25 05:00 PM
2

Agree with this, i think the only major issues are your trying to protect someone who is about to go hard for at minimum 50% of everything you have including the home. I don’t think the full scope of alimony and half of assets has set in yet. Wfh spouses are the biggest liability to both partners. Best of luck
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/25 11:36 PM
2

I’m expecting they are looking to provoke a fight so i can goto jail like her.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/25 09:31 PM
2

I’m not sure that would be healthy, pretend the cops aren’t getting calls that I’m dangerous?
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/25 01:50 PM
2

Why wouldn’t i be scared of losing my kids due to false allegations? We hear it all the time, woman calls cops says she got attacked and guy goes to jail, loses job and kids all before court. Doesn’t that scare you? I’m glad you got through it but I’m in a state i moved to for her family and now alone in this state but stuck for my kids in a 50/50 custody that has been threatened several times in first year.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/25 12:59 PM
2

I’m glad things worked out for you but def be careful sitting in court. Cool heads prevail and the kids dont need you in jail.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/25 12:28 PM
2

I didn’t file the no contact order, it was apart of a domestic violence case due to her showing up drunk and throwing things once i asked her to leave. I dont intend to file a modification as i would think this is something she should be doing if it is needed. I personally dont understand why picking up at a police station would be a violation myself. I’m not bitter but i am trying to protect myself, she has attempted to take the kids away at least three times since the divorce has been finalize…
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/25 12:26 PM
2

That is my exact thoughts, they started a game of who can call the cops and said i was dangerous. So dangerous that she walked into my house at night ( i forgot to lock my door) to yell at me in front of my children. She got arrested and now keeps wording it like its a mutual no contact order. I have been nice not to shove it in her face when she speaks like this but it seems to just be a sign for her to press this weird version of a disadvantage as an advantage. Being kind is for the birds.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/25 12:33 AM
3

No school now it’s summer time, grandma is going out of town during the summer which is causing the issue. I dont understand why she wouldn’t be allowed to swap at a police station seems weird but I’m def not going to be near a guy who called the cops on me without even being in the area.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/25 11:21 PM
4

I have requested that multiple times police stations, they keep looking to come to my house. Its very weird, they say I’m dangerous but look for ways to avoid safety.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/25 02:07 PM
7

On the police report ( turns out i knew the cop from just starting self defense classes) he told the police i was a dangerous ufc fighter. I had just started those classes and had never actually met this guy one on one.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/25 01:02 PM
2

1k for child support plus all bills? Hell no if your 50/50 that should be 500 at most. Talk to a lawyer and negotiate that down, you want to avoid the court drama and means your ex will get a pay day on her way out.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/25 04:14 PM
2

That’s the issue divorce is contagious and every man should be worried since men lose big in divorce while women get parades for it. Very few men gain financially from divorce while women usually end up three income from it. Its def a fucked I’ll system
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 04:23 PM
7

Dude she went on dates with a guy for 3 years and never had sex? My man , even god is asking you to wake up.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/25 01:14 PM
3

Get on TRT with a healthy dosage and workout. No need to get fat and bloated
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/25 12:09 PM
9

I’m about a year out and still in recovery, aim for one day at a time and think what can you do to get yourself out socializing today. I joined run clubs, bjj/kick boxing, tried gaming, gym, pickleball etc. force yourself, goto the movies and cry in an empty theater who cares you got this.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/25 02:16 PM
1

Following, i think no alimony due to short range but the assets will be tight if they where put into mutual accounts
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/25 03:31 PM
6

This, she is lieing most likely and going off to a guy she can control who has been telling her she is 100% right about every fight you ever had.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/25 01:49 PM
8

If you have no kids then she is a stranger just another memory
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/25 05:50 PM
2

When one side has given up simple as that, if you can’t have a discussion on if both have given up then you have your answer. Both sides need give and take.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/25 12:18 AM
3

Shes going abroad for a month? Boom abandonment of the house, change the locks and dont let her back in
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/25 11:02 PM
11

The roles are reversed alot, women go after married men all of the time.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/25 12:09 PM
3

He wont be there forever. Reserve she cheated and divorced a husband for another guy. What ties does this guy have that he will want to stay with a woman with kid etc? Focus on yourself and being a dad and know no one can replace you in your childs life. Your ex was not worthy of your energy and time will tell the story of both sides. Cheaters usually dont do well in the long run due to a repetitive choice of always looking for better options ( karma ) happens when one of those attempts leaves t…
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/25 12:04 PM
6

Reconciliation is a pipe dream if they have actively moved out and on. Anything else after that is an acceptance that you and your family where second choice and choice A failed. You dont deserve to be choice B you deserve choice A.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/25 07:58 PM
8

As a man , if he cheated and left for ap go for alimony all the way. Cheaters regardless of gender deserve what they get.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/25 03:31 PM
1

Alimony doesn’t work like that, she will probably get equity from the house but alimony? Prob nothing
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/25 07:57 PM
1

Why would you have to move to Miami? You do realize she is stuck in California, go for half custody and they stay in California within a specific range you agree upon between the two of you.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/25 01:36 PM
1

She didn’t leave the last 13 times because her ap didn’t commit. She is agreeable this time because ap committed. Be ready to see him around the new apartment complex get the divorce over and signed before sharing your feelings about her cheating enjoy.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/25 01:32 PM
1

Yes, cs is based on nights. If kids move to her so does the %
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/25 08:04 PM
7

The one who moves loses the kids not the other away around .
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/25 04:59 PM
2

Learn from it man your not teasing your being the same person as before.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/25 04:24 PM
6

That’s a bad mindset, your asking someone to knowingly cheat and finding loopholes that work for you. A cheater is a cheater.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/25 03:41 PM
6

You hit on a taken woman ? Why is this a proud thing ?
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/25 12:59 PM
15

Yea she is cheating, she has to justify it by saying your abusive.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 08:06 PM
2

Agreed, its crazy because if i showed up at her house i would be abusive scary man who is running her life. She does it? Slap on the hand and it scrubbed if she is good for a year, problem is she might not even be able to manage that.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 03:10 PM
4

That is what i intended to do, i stopped replying when she continued with what she says she can do, there isn’t a point in arguing when she has her own legal counsel, i cant save her from herself.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 02:14 PM
2

It is weird as hell because if the roles where reversed id be begging for public spots with cameras to avoid being accused and arrested again. Her? Straight back into the fire pan to prove she is right, why risk it ? It’s insanity
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 02:05 PM
1

Blocking you and ignoring your phone calls was all the closure you’re owed. I know it hurts but that’s reality, calling her endlessly is harassment and makes you look unhinged. Stop immediately and seek therapy to cope.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 10:46 AM
2

Agreed
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 10:44 AM
3

Agreement says houses or school, protection order says she isn’t allowed at the house. She got arrested for showing up at night and screaming and wouldn’t leave started throwing things.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 10:43 AM
1

I did offer that and she flat out said no, i said once we respect each other a bit more without escalation we can do drop offs at private residence till then its not safe.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 10:42 AM
4

Your trying to be nice, dont be you forget she is literally stabbing you in the gut. Not saying be mean but dont put off your share to suit her needs , she wouldn’t and wont do the same for you. Make sure everything is squashed by end of divorce agreement with your name on nothing.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/25 04:23 PM
6

That’s harassment gotta stop that
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/25 12:31 PM
3

That sounds line lawyer talk you should see a lawyer to go over your side. Want to know the funny thing? Till she moves out all lawyer costs come out of martial funds at the end of the case. Dont tell her what your doing but def go see a lawyer and keep it quiet. Alimony is based on current pay not what she made while in school
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/25 12:26 AM
6

How long was the marriage? You may be entitled to alimony, 30k seems cheap if she is a doctor. Anything bought during marriage is a martial asset.also half that down payment for the house is yours and i have a feeling its alot more then 30k get a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/25 11:40 PM
2

This, dude kids are already introduced she started sooner than you realized. The wait till divorce thing was to keep you hooked in case the fish didn’t bite, do you want a wife who has been lieing and getting railed behind your back?
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/25 09:16 PM
3

Your 33 ! You got this my man , your dreams exist if you can make them happen. Your the driving force in your life, are you going to let someone else tell you they don’t exist? Prove all wrong with your worth including her, do it for you and no one else.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/25 04:14 AM
1

Agreed this is the point I’m at a year out. Did all the begging and pleading etc. I’m most over it but still have somethings to work out. I hate the idea of still waiting for her to regret leaving for ap. When does the indifference kick in? Ex just got engaged to ap almost a year on the dot.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/25 05:53 PM
1

If you have 50 50 custody consultant a lawyer on calculating the increase. Offer a lower amount to avoid court, see if the state removes it based on parenting time. Child support is such a shit show for men with 50 50 custody.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/25 04:27 PM
3

This isn’t to offend you but that’s called distraction and honey money stage. Now things are normal there is no more magical events to fix everything and your living day to day.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/25 04:13 PM
10

Dude remarried in 3 years? Your still not over the trauma and replaced it with a new toy. Slow things down and see a therapist before you new marriage follows the old patterns.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/25 12:34 PM
7

Nope same here, she would ask all day but my requests made it sound like i couldn’t do anything alone and ignored.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/25 04:26 PM
7

Tbf , it sounds like they are both shitty prime if he cheated on her and now she is cheating back. Both are wrong.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/25 12:58 PM
1

Your doing the right thing, keep doing you and putting the kids first. Work on rebuilding and settling things and avoid dating till the dusts clear as that will only enrage your ex. Best of luck stay strong.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/25 04:53 PM
1

I wouldn’t even respond, the best answer is no answer. The above while put nicely is only going to allow for more dialogue.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/25 04:44 PM
7

Except for all of the stories that have the woman getting sex from both partners? Pretending women are these magical creatures that are only loyal to one man at a time with sex is crazy. So you can white knight all you want its ignoring reality.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/25 04:27 PM
8

This is such bull , i hate how often women get a pass for cheating. Men cheat = pigs , dirt etc . Women cheat? The marriage was over and it doesn’t count because it was already over. This is 2025, if someone asks you should tell them what want based on how well you know them. Do you tell everyone your problems? No then no Should you tell close friends and family to get support? Yes , fuck cheaters of both genders
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/25 02:12 PM
1

Get a lawyer, if she had an affair why do you need to pay her alimony?
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/25 01:37 AM
3

Depends, he wants to date but doesn’t want to introduce a woman every week to them. Is that being an asshole or being reasonable parent in a co parenting situation?
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/25 01:09 AM
1

Yes two kids, the kids where not apart of the house settlement though. She moved out with her ap before we even got lawyers so your situation may be different if she is fighting for it. I can’t imagine she will have a strong argument though only dwelling for 5 years.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/25 06:08 PM
3

For my lender i was able to assume the mortgage to get her off the mortgage and the quit claim deed was done at the same time to get her off the deed. Edit for op: did you ever add her to either the mortgage or the deed? If not you may have a strong argument against any equity.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/25 06:06 PM
4

Bought house during marriage so not same exact scenario, took out heloc to pay her out and did a quit claim deed to get her off the mortgage. Speak to a lawyer as your situation may require alot less.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/25 04:45 PM
2

That’s the worse part, she wasn’t a sahm she had a full time job. She just wanted all the control.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/25 03:11 PM
4

Yes , that is the problem. They want provider types but dont work like the other side, want me to pay everything? Cool that means i do no house hold chores and little child rearing other then showing up and having fun. But they want a cookie and to eat it too, i dont mind splitting house hold functions, i love raising my children and being involved etc. so im doing my 50 50 or working towards it ( no one is perfect) . You can’t ask a man to be a provider and still do 50 50 , its almost disrespec…
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/25 02:30 PM
8

If they dont make at least half of what i do it means they will have resentment for every .50c to dollar I’m not spending on them. I want a $1 candy? Better buy them $2 dollar candy, o btw their money is still theirs and yours is to pay all the bills! F that
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/25 12:33 PM
3

The sooner the better, the longer they are married the more she gets.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/25 08:51 PM
11

She wasn’t just going out with single friends, she was out cheating with your permission. Is that really what you want to say? You know its over you know you have to start protecting yourself, let her go start the process and talk to a lawyer. The more you allow her to embrace her new life without judgement the easier the divorce will go and more likely she will give you 50 50 or more custody. Save the judgement till the divorce is over. You got this stay strong z
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/25 02:42 PM
2

Are you advertising leftist porn propaganda? Im not sure what subs you subbed to 😂😂
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/25 02:21 PM
7

Seriously think how messed up it is that she is trying to rush a marriage, house etc. She is trying to rebuild her old life and when the illusion one day fades so will her mask of happiness. She is just stuck in a cycle of unhappiness.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/25 02:16 PM
3

💯 💯 💯, dont make excuses to o abandon your children. They are happy with whatever level of “ failure “ your making yourself to be. They enjoy you and want you in their life, dont give up on them for an easier life.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/25 05:56 PM
1

Call the cops , this is identity theft. Report it as such and say you don't know who is using it but they have no authority to do so. Enjoy her going to jail.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/25 08:22 PM
2

Imo we are at a time where women are overly equal and the one who makes less benefits from divorce due to alimony and child support. Factor in support groups for women being larger they have a larger echo chamber telling them to leave. Every blog confirms the same thing, women are happier after divorce until about year 5 when both parties basically go back to a norm and are at the same level of happiness before divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/25 06:33 PM
7

Your going through seperation and she is lieing about things. That’s called new dick energy, imo I wouldn’t even dig unless it helps your divorce case. Just continue on with the divorce, there is no breaks in marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/25 05:49 PM
15

I agree with the previous guy, you can be angry and still admit your own mistakes. Growing is important to recovery.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/25 06:45 PM
1

Yeah it was wicked tough but doing good at work reminded me i wasn’t the person i was being told i was. I wasn’t hated at work, i wasn’t worthless at work, i seek out problems and fix them. Imo i was the exact opposite according to my job so i leaned into it hard.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/25 01:19 AM
5

How do we communicate with someone who can’t admit when they are wrong? ( not saying they should own 100% of anything but some would be nice). How do you lead someone who is trying to compete for leadership but only when they want it dropping it mid event sometimes when things get difficult?
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/25 11:39 PM
10

One big part missed is all the stuff they did as well, its like every fight was one sided when in reality it was both sides that needed to find a middle ground. Idk how many times i thought we agreed we both needed to compromise only to find out not bowing down to her caused the resentment, like what she really wanted was a door mat.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/25 10:49 PM
1

Everything alright? Didn’t see before the edit
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/25 10:31 PM
8

Used to be a big video game and whisky guy who worked IT. Now I’m into tequila, pool, working out, mma/ boxing. Haven’t played video games seriously in a year. For me i think it’s because i associate my old self with failure ( hobbies) i know that isn’t true but i just can’t get the same enjoyment i used to. Imo its not a bad thing if your building to a healthy new you and i am still in IT but trying to push to an more customer centric role where i interact with people more. Ie meet the new king…
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/25 07:40 PM
9

She makes 180k , you earn 66k . IF roles where reversed how much would you have to pay in child support? Your a man but you also know the truth , she owes you alimony and child support, don't try and "be a man" and not collect. Laws work both ways and in this case she owes you a chunk of money, if she won't pay remember that she is the one burning down her ship. As the one who makes less you will regardless of outcomes come out with a better share by fighting.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/25 04:13 PM
3

I hope to be in the same place as you 4 years out. 1 year out and i feel I’m in that journey, finally able to take care of myself without constant threats and controlling abuse. I can’t count the amount of times she won arguments by threatening to leave or telling me I’m useless because other husbands did different things. It’s crazy the stuff you will put up with inside a marriage until your out of it and you wonder why the heck you ever dealt with that.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/25 04:24 PM
8

My ex does something similar. Told everyone we grew apart, she had a boyfriend who had met the kids before i even knew we where in trouble. They had it long planned and had been telling their friends for months that it was going to happen. To them the divorce doesn’t exist out in public definitely weird shit considering she has tried taking the kids from me at least twice.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/25 03:48 PM
0

The majority of the sub is my ex wife cheated and ran away with another guy. When is cheating ever acceptable?
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/25 11:24 PM
8

She wants a pre divorce to test the dating waters. If the dating fails she will return, are you second or first choice?
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/25 05:44 PM
2

I’m only going by what I’ve experienced. Others my experience different 🤷 I should also add my ex partner inside of the relationship. So far I’m beating the stats
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/25 12:40 PM
1

Not sure what question your asking, I’m a divorced man and have my opinion on dating divorced women. I believe OP is waay inappropriate in the way he speaks about women but his words have some merit. I personally find women with kids move faster then women without kids. It is easier to get a woman with kids into bed as they normally want to progress faster
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/25 12:17 AM
5

When you split it is best to split 💯 dont get stuck in a situation where you have to interact more then needed it will only add to drama. Imo tell her your finances and her finances shouldn’t interact anymore and it is up to her to figure out how you are getting your equity.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/25 07:35 PM
4

It gets frustrating doesn’t it? I am not scared of commitment but it takes a long time for me to want to introduce my kids to someone. Its a huge turn off for kids to pop up early with no warning or to feel like your saving someone from a bad financial situation.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/25 05:30 PM
2

He isn't wrong though he is a bit harsh with his words. For me divorced women are more aggressive in relationships and tend to want to move the relationship quick to get back a family unit. Ive had at least 2 that introduced me to their kid's in a sly way and started looking to move in before 4-5 months.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/25 05:18 PM
2

I think it would be better to take the L get a new debit card and keep it moving unless she is spending large amounts of money there is going to be argument that half if that money is hers.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/25 02:58 AM
3

You are a very confusing person, you filed for separation and are the one divorcing your husband. Yes it is over already , all your actions show he has no chance. Best of luck.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 06:44 PM
1

I’m not sure what your looking for, is the restraining order against you or him? Who is initiating the seperation?
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 06:33 PM
2

I say this with as much respect as i can, if your husband isn’t also doing this then your the problem in the marriage and your showing how selfish you are. Not once have you thought or paused to consider how he will feel when finding out. Respect and trust are on the same bridge , destroy one destroy the other. I dont know your husbands issues but remember alot of these ideas are the same regardless of gender. A new partner even if temporary would end whatever is left of your marriage either now…
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 06:23 PM
7

No offense but you are trolling right? What person (male or female) would think that reconciliation is not going to be hindered with a new person involved? Imo I would not add this new person to the mix until your feelings regarding your marriage and husband are resolved. It will hurt everyone less and keep things simple. Best of luck
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 04:26 PM
17

Did she go sleep with other men? Regardless the grass wasn’t greener type of situation. She didn’t find the Prince Charming she was promised when she left and now has regrets. She should have made moves to fix the situation, the friend doing so is like high school break ups where the girl uses a third party instead of owning their mistakes. Imo do what you will by this doesn’t scream healed and fixed her issues.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/25 01:47 PM
8

Dam that is 100% a post from here
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/25 07:34 PM
2

This isn’t healthy, at some point you need to move on. With live, get therapy.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/25 06:54 PM
4

Support covers everything, anything extra is discretionary( Halloween costumes etc). Specific things like sports and medical are usually agreed outside of support. How much custody do you have? I buy my own costumes and take them to events etc as needed.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/25 07:53 PM
3

Yea def new dick, it can be someone who was waiting in the wings who shoulder she cried on or apps. Women have easy access to sex but men hold the keys to LTR. If a struggling dude sees an easy up in life he might yake it , or just someone wanting easy sex. Women often confuse sex for LTR potential long after they burn a good thing.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/25 06:17 PM
3

Check the sub, if they turn off randomly it is almost always new dick.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/25 05:54 PM
2

If she takes those kids for a year and sets up residency, what would force her to come back?
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/25 11:14 AM
1

Unplug it?
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/25 02:31 AM
4

He answered the question several times. She flirted to control you, what was her goal? Who knows but ot wasn’t because she wanted you, even if she had sex with you it could be about knowing she could have you if she wanted. Ie control
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/25 09:15 PM
1

The cheating doesn’t matter imo, you left her and she went exploring instead of trying to fix things. Leaving made her feel unsafe, was it right or wrong? Doesn’t matter anymore because its over unless she changes her mind ( you can’t change so dont try, you will have better luck saying ok this is what you want and walking though it).
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/25 06:56 PM
4

Same situation, today is one year and i kept the house. Gets easier everyday, keep moving keep getting stronger.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/25 10:20 PM
3

Tell her because you would want to know if roles where reversed. This isnt a revenge thing, its the right thing to do morally.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/25 03:20 PM
2

Your fresh out of the divorce still imo, dont go for meaningless sex but how can you find your next partner by just going after one? Imo my goal is to date often and with purpose. Sex is just the added bonus while aiming for what i feel is quality.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/25 11:22 AM
7

Get a parenting and child support agreed upon before your payday gets in. Also settle for nothing less then 50 50 custody of kids. Kids deserve both parents, also be ready her actions all indicate she met someone most likely at the gym or work. You might even know him Also react to nothing she does , men tend to look like the aggressor no matter what happens. If she starts scaring you or threatening you get a cam , false allegations are common to get one side out of the house and still paying th…
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/25 11:47 PM
3

i dont feel like you are reading what im saying. Enjoy
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/25 08:48 PM
4

yes / no . Right now they are just in the process , ex wife gets a sniff of this and it will now be the reason for the divorce in her mind. Right or wrong not extra fire needed to what will be a stressful event imo.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/25 08:32 PM
4

This is called limerance, it isnt almost a EA it is an EA . I would try to reign it in a bit the last thing you want to do is enflame your divorce. Men being the bread winners that means we also lose out the most in the divorce initially. Best of luck and be safe!
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/25 07:58 PM
2

5 years in Georgia, no alimony. 50 50 custody puts me at 450 a kid but i make a large amount.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/25 10:10 PM
3

Let her take a heloc out on the house for your share of the equity and keep it moving. Stop helping them but you also don’t need to take advantage of them either. Just push for a financial amicable seperation and put specific timelines on the payment for your equity.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/25 04:19 PM
6

In my state alimony hits after 7 years, the difference in income should make alimony almost nothing though regardless.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/25 01:51 PM
3

What did lawyer say? In 50 50 custody in Georgia 140 to 70 i saw 900 a month for 2 kids in mediation.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/25 03:31 AM
6

Good call!
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/25 07:36 PM
13

He is saying he won’t have access to them
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/25 05:33 PM
1

Exactly this, dont expect her to watch the kids on out time. It would be an unfair ask, start looking into daycares or a nanny. Teenager should be fine but expect to drive to school everyday.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/25 01:09 PM
8

Alot of these items where me , turns out I was depressed and when my ex wife left I had no one putting me down constantly and telling me I was worthless ( I always had a full time job and was the bread winner by x2) . Once she left I suddenly had a burst of energy and with no one telling me I was doing things wrong I was able to schedule things on my own time and get things done on my own time. Idk if it relates to your situation as I also did outside work all the time and left the inside work t…
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/25 05:20 PM
3

Exactly, you don’t need to hop into a relationship asap. Take your time, figure out you. That is all healthy, going from a marriage to another relationship asap is 100% unhealthy. From a visual standpoint it sends a bad message to your kids on what relationships should look like. Be the stable one.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/25 05:26 PM
3

Hey I’m in the same spot, my ex left the house and went straight on vacation with the guy. Its fucked yup but not much to do about it. In all reality the only main thing we can is level up for own good and teach the kids what a stable relationship should look like.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/25 05:11 PM
24

Id respond back saying she is welcome to giving you full custody so she can move as she pleases.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/25 03:25 PM
10

This i dont believe in karma , i believe in repeated bad choices eventually catching up to someone.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/25 10:17 PM
11

How you get em is how you lose em
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/25 08:59 PM
1

This is def a lawyer question but i have always heard as , is her name on it and was it bought during the marriage? If its only in her mothers name etc your in trouble because it could be argued as rent. If its in her name you should be able to get a portion as it would be considered a martial asset though that amount might be reduced.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/24 08:01 PM
8

Always comes back to money, they want to leave the marriage but keep the marriage money definitely disgusting.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/24 04:53 PM
9

She is already gone everything you do to fix it she will turn around and gas light you. Everything will be as you noticed “ why cant you let me have my cake and eat it to?” You can’t save it you can only save yourself, chances are she has been going behind your back for a bit and just now locked down the new guy for her to have a soft landing after the divorce. Get prepared mentally for her to flip and become worse beat of luck.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/24 03:17 PM
3

2025, men need to stop protecting women and protect themselves.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/24 02:31 PM
3

Yea i hate looking at it from this light but the further i get the more i realize. She was always going to cheat and leave so paying now vs in 10 years is a blessing. Plenty of life to live and less of a paycheck for her later. I’m still upset on how it went but i know in time ill be happy it happened now vs later.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 08:25 PM
3

Aim for indifference before you think about being happy for her. Move on that doesn’t mean into a new relationship but it can depending on who you are as a person. You can’t be happy for someone else when you’re unhappy for yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 06:55 PM
26

She is the villain in her own story and she knows it, how does she change that? She has to vilify you both in private and publicly to change the narrative to both herself and others. This is all standard with people who can’t fave their own actions.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 05:39 PM
2

Depends on agreement , normally outside of support. Your best bet is to ask for each partner to pay for their own daycare expenses and aim for 50/50
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 02:29 PM
3

Alot of this can be found out by looking at state calculators. You can get a very round about idea of you know or understand how many nights you will get.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 02:13 PM
7

Why aren’t you doing anything to change that? The divorce i understand, show them how want to live life by leading the way.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/24 01:34 PM
2

I dont think this is how it works, sperm dies when it hits air.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/24 03:30 PM
2

It is always hard and easy to break in IT , it sounds funny because it varies greatly but tight now for sure. Checking the description it says Python and nlu . Go on linked in what job prospects are in the area? Get those skill sets and start applying maybe even using robert hatfield and other recruiters as needed . I’m from tampa area originally so i understand how tight the market is in Florida. Orlando isn’t the best for IT as it is mostly hotels, airports/ ware houses and Disney. All of thos…
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/24 03:17 AM
2

I don’t want to go in circles imo the plan isn’t sound. I’m in IT and 12 months for an entry level person is basically just training.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/24 03:04 AM
1

Its not her home her attorney can’t say anything unless it’s been months since you lived there. Also always consult your attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/24 02:53 AM
3

If you move to texas and live there for years you will have given up 50 50 , it would sound funny for a judge to give 50 50 and ruin stability of the child when one parent moves in and out of the state.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/24 02:52 AM
3

^ this, you will lose time with your son. If you piss the ex off enough doing it when you finally move back you wont ever get 50 50
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/24 12:43 AM
1

If you do this be very very careful to avoid interaction with her unless needed. If she is getting toxic she may start the silver bullet divorce. Be safe !
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/24 01:19 PM
2

You thinking too much on your ex , you might have already noticed this. She will praise your fatherhood when she wants something and insult you when her life is a mess or sje forgets to drink water. For the child situation, want her to keep child more? Stop taking him on her time and say id like to stick to the schedule. Expect her to repeat the same to you, remember she isn’t your wife anymore your job isn’t to save her relationship with your child. Your job is to be the best father you can be …
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/24 06:47 PM
2

Stop trying to save her, she is going to save herself. Save yourself and worry about yourself, women get tons of support in divorce even when they are the bad guy ( not saying this is your issue) . Keep it moving and find a way to come out intact with something to build on, o guarantee she is and will.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/24 02:14 PM
2

Anytime, remember you got this. Your alive and have children who want a father to look up to. They will judge not on one action but many. Keep trying and you will succeed.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/24 02:12 PM
3

2 of your kids have choices on what to do , the 13 year old does not. It seems your aware of your issues. Your a man remember this, no one is going to save you but you. How do you want to be remembered by your children? How do you want to remember yourself? Its okay to cry , emotions are natural. When will you get up though? When will you take responsibility for yourself? Anger towards your wife was natural , the realization that you allowed yourself to be co dependent was brilliant. Prove ti yo…
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/24 02:25 AM
1

She would need to buy you out of the equity on the house. Your financial mistakes are also hers in the marriage as debt is split between two people in most divorces. Get a lawyer and dont roll over. Call the bank and delay things as much as possible regarding the foreclosure.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/24 02:05 PM
4

Agreed with this, it’s something I’ve had to learn the hard way. You set boundaries for yourself not other people. If someone breaks those boundaries how are you enforcing them? Walk away
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 11:56 AM
5

Bored
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/24 11:01 PM
4

Consider child support money in the void you can’t ever try to count what it should goto. I’m not saying you’re wrong I’m just telling you how i handle it so i dont have to deal with my ex.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/24 12:37 AM
8

Exactly as you did then get on the email from the coaches so you aren’t relying on her. If you have to rely on her even for shoes then your falling behind the ball. Anything that requires your ex must be eliminated and you must become self sufficient in all things.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/24 12:26 AM
1

Congrats!!
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/24 05:32 PM
1

She broke up with you and had the baby daddy move back in. You know that guy isn’t sleeping in the couch. It will be hard but wish her the best and move on. It will hurt but she removed herself from your life with her actions, your a door mat.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/24 01:50 PM
6

You have credit cards and can sue for lawyer fees for both parties to come from sale of house. Dont be a doormat now you will pay for it later one way or the other. Either the settlement agreement hurts later or it hurts now to win.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/24 11:45 AM
5

The boy friend popping up without discussion and then moving into the boyfriend’s house , basically new family unit on her side planned from the get go.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/24 05:02 PM
7

Don’t fall for the first girl you date, chances are she will end up similar to your ex even if it didn’t feel that way at first.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/24 04:17 AM
7

Get a credit card and put it in credit, you dont want to be playing with a half deck if cards just because she made the first move.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/24 08:29 PM
1

100% this, my ex in laws seperated early with the mother cheating. Guess what happened the second we had issues with kids? Yup ex cheated and left, she is now casually burning through her settlement money like she makes that much yearly.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/24 12:28 PM
3

South America, go live it in Colombia etc in the tourist areas. Live like a king on very little money.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/24 11:52 PM
2

This, she most likely had another guy in mind and is imagining live with him. Reality? Guy is most likely a downgrade found on feelings and an initial spark that she will ride off into a dumpster fire after the honeymoon wares off and she realizes what a life she threw out the window for both you and the kids. Dont beg , focus on yourself and do not drink etc. it will be a rough time and she starts playing the emotional game. Do not fall for it! Be as amicable as possible and if she does have a …
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/24 09:27 PM
2

Why didn’t you take full custody when she moved? Your court order would have allowed you to pull them back
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/24 05:40 PM
1

Dam i want to be on your wifes side on this, you had an affair and you want to introduce the ap asap? She can’t stop you from doing anything especially without an agreement in place yet. Think of your child first though, at one point you thought you wife was your soul mate enough to marry her. Maybe meet in the middle and say six to nine months? Dont forget your ex will always be in your child’s life and the more birth sides are amicable the better gor your daughter.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/24 05:25 PM
3

This, if you dont get 50% custody i have heard horror stories of the ex moving even an or or two away that prevents further attempts at it due to school etc. anything more then 45 minutes to an hour is going to cause issues .
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/24 03:27 AM
1

Subbing in case this happens to me best of luck
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/24 06:29 PM
1

Marriage doesn’t mean alot anymore. Its a way to secure material assets by the less fortunate partner and that’s about it.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/24 01:24 PM
2

I couldn’t, when she is confident the other guy will pop out.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/24 11:02 AM
3

I agree it’s coming and hopefully it’s the removal of alimony and child support with 50 50 custody as a default locking both parents in a geo area that is agreed on.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/24 11:01 AM
12

Pendulum swing imo, they were victims for so long that now the laws that protected them have allowed for abuse. Those laws remove income from men and give it to women who can then latch onto another man giving them 3 incomes. It’s nuts and makes little sense other then outdated laws protecting a smaller pool of sahm
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/24 05:02 AM
30

Women get too much in divorce, it’s a benefit for them
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/24 04:16 AM
12

You sure she is stupid and not just cheating? Sounds like another guy is in the picture
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/24 09:21 PM
5

Depends on your co parenting relationship. Mine is shit so I won’t bother as she waited literally the next day to introduce. If there is any semblance of respect then keep it going by shooting a text or email letting them know about it but also letting them know your letting them know as a courtesy. Something fun and non pressure age appropriate like a park or zoo , nothing intense like dinner etc. Just her this is so and so and they are joining us for our trip to the zoo and maybe a food truck …
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/24 10:44 PM
3

This is actually more of a legal question, i dont know why this wouldn’t work legally. Refinance house and then go “gambling “ . Ive read alot more worse situations relating to martial debt , while still shady i dont see how this is much different. I dont have much remorse for cheaters so best of luck, be discreet when contacting a lawyer , use cash and a different address as needed.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/24 07:19 PM
2

This, she wants you to feel pain, she wants you to feel not enough. She isn’t the nice loving person you thought she was, cut her off unless it is strictly about the kids and divorce as applicable. If she loved and cared she wouldn’t do these things anything other than that is a lie.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/24 02:47 PM
2

If it helps, same thing happened to me. 5 years on house, question will be how much do you feel the house will be worth in another 3? For me the payout has almost come back via equity in one year in the martial home while my ex has rented two different houses in 8 months. At 2 and 3g a month rent is crazy out there.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/24 08:51 PM
1

This sounds all reasonable, at most she may get value increase from equity in house for the three years you two where married. Ie start of marriage value 250k end of marriage 275k split 25k might get smaller depending on what lawyer says. Id offer here a couple of thousand to get it moving and be reasonable to avoid lawyers as they will cost more then the payout.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/24 07:35 PM
10

She is posting about being a victim for attention. Idk whos fault the divorce is but being the victim means it def isnt her fault in her eyes. No one wants to be the villain in their story.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/24 01:59 AM
1

This , go through this subreddit. You will find 100 variations of the same story. She was never a cheat, she would never do this to me. Blah blah blah etc etc. She is not special your just seeing her for what you know her as not as the outside world sees her as. As things unfold you will see another person come out, imo get her in divorce mode while she is happy. Grin and bear it and allow for the divorce as fast as she wants all the while pushing for favorable terms in the divorce. If she pushe…
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/24 11:18 PM
4

She has gotten used to you fixing things and its a toxic cycle she refuses to do anything about. I dont have a suggestion but it is definitely exhausting having to always be the calm collected one who fixes things. Your needs are never met and when your finally mad enough to voice your opinion you now an abusive monster for saying no or not bowing down.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/24 11:05 PM
6

Get child support, there is no reason not to get your legal fair share.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/24 11:52 PM
8

This, she is using this as an exit ramp and is hoping and expecting you to leave. She wants full custody and max child support to stay as a SAHM . Go for full custody and enjoy seeing her squirm as you find out the real reason she wanted out ( most likely an affair who is undecided about picking her up). She is a cake eater .
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/24 05:51 PM
7

Sounds like she just found out that child support is hinged on over nights with kids. She picked m-f so she can get full child support and have weekends free, lawyer up you dont have a wife. For now you have someone aiming to gut you.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 02:13 PM
3

This is a terrible idea, it will hurt both of you. If you want her fix things outside of the party. The pay itself will sne d the wrong message regardless.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 03:01 AM
2

Alot of this comes down to the state and county you live in. For instance in my county custody heavily favors the mother especially when infidelity is involved. What is your lawyer telling you to expect? Hopefully you got one that is inside of the county and familiar with the judges. A settlement agreement is your best bet for custody and reducing your costs. Cheating is shitty but you still deserve 50% custody of your kids. Best of luck , you will need to change your schedule to accommodate you…
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/24 02:54 PM
1

There was a tpo put on when she got arrested, i am going to go for a limited restraining order next.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/24 03:47 PM
2

Kiddos are 3 and 5 they wont go into another room to take the call. I could be an ass and answer the phone to stairs leave it in a room and tell the kids they can go upstairs to talk to mom. Once again they are 3 to 5 so they won’t move since half the call is just her saying good bye until i hang up the phone.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/24 02:53 PM
1

It was in a settlement agreement but only for her. No where does it say mom plus anybody she chooses. Imo it means the phone calls are for her, we both have the right to hang up when calls are deemed inappropriate. Since she was recently arrested after one of these calls I’m figuring if this goes to court it would be easy for me get it removed.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/24 12:48 PM
1

50 50 custody, on my weeks we have an agreed upon 15 minute call in place. On the FaceTime she adds the boyfriend into the calls to talk to my sons like they are his.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/24 12:12 PM
2

This is all good info by none of it applies to my question in regards to the 15 minute phone call she gets with the kids every day. She has turned them into family phone calls and i have decided to shut that down since that was never in the agreement.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/24 11:57 AM
3

Nah he is 17 he is old enough to know the truth
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/24 10:39 PM
1

Did i understand your the ap and now 6 years married or the it only lasted 3 months? Not looking to bash regardless wouldn’t be appropriate .
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/24 09:03 PM
5

Holy fuck man 5 years and she wants 50k in alimony? lol she is entitled to nothing in most states everything else is also wild as well. Hell man best of luck with that money grubber
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 12:26 AM
2

Wrong sub, you seem heavy in affair fog and will regret your exit. If you wanted a divorce you should have done it without destroying your stbxw. She gave you two good options considering the circumstances, you should get a lawyer to offer course review but she could be hitting you so much worse especially considering how shitty you likely are being to her.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/24 12:22 PM
3

Isnt that such a scary thought? Like i actually understand that logic
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/24 08:54 PM
4

I always like a good crash and burn story when its well deserved. Equally watching a couple who visibly hate each other but both feel stuck due to both being pos is also good.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/24 08:24 PM
3

Stronger without you? Why bother telling you lol , actions speak louder than words not to mention she needed to replace you to be strong smh.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/24 08:15 PM
4

Thanks, i did bring it up to my ex once early on asking her to take things with the kids and the new guy slow and she said i was just jealous that she had someone. At this point she moved in with him within 5 - 6 months so i feel she is just riding to replace our marriage. Its a weird feeling watching it, not jealous just confused how a teacher who knows how bad divorce can be on kids can do all the stuff she said was bad for kids. The guy has had this already happen 3 times ( mother, previous e…
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/24 03:54 PM
4

Id ask your lawyer, I’m looking into this myself and my express concern is the change in child support. If i am paying 800 dollars extra a month i want that moved off child support, i assume she will want the same.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/24 02:55 PM
3

Appreciate the positivity!
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/24 02:54 PM
3

Who knows she wasn’t good with money injustice of the relationship and went all in within with this guy 3 months after leaving the house.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/24 02:54 PM
4

Gotcha he dumped her , that’s karma at its finest. Glad everything is going better, this guy is a loser so i think this is the best he will get and will stick it out till he can bleed her dry of the equity money she is about to get.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/24 01:44 PM
4

It sounds like your kid was older so that might have made things easier? How did it all effect your kid ? It sounds like they never met the ap?
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/24 01:15 PM
7

That’s fair, i read at one point typical situations they fail around this time and i worry that with the holidays coming up it will be devastating to my children to have to move a third or fourth time in one year. I guess i should not try to plan ahead though. Like you said i have no idea what will happen on the other side of the table.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/24 01:09 PM
2

As i wrote you would split equity equally. I hate to hear your only looking for validation. Interest rate isn’t an object that is split since it is not a transferable item outside of the house.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/24 02:05 PM
2

I guess everything can be put on an agreement but is it reasonable? I’m only going off my experience but your looking for something that most lawyers and courts would say isn’t reasonable ( at least in Georgia). Interest rate are not an accountable object in a separation agreement.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/24 01:57 PM
1

Yea that is normal but a mortgage rate can’t be split, at best transferred. The rate itself wont be considered in the split only the equity on the remaining mortgage. She is most likely buying you out to avoid the new rates like you are mentioning. Also she wont be paying 1800, i did this and hsd to take a heloc out to pay out the equity half my ex got. I ended up with original payment plus new heloc. Still better then the new rates imo
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/24 01:37 PM
4

She can’t which is why she is keeping it, the loan value isn’t accounted for in separation only the total equity.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/24 01:29 PM
3

Did the settlement agreement get signed and sent off to the courts? Is the money traceable? Id get a lawyer as the online divorce is back firing if the settlement agreement wasn’t signed already
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/24 01:41 PM
7

Alot of the things you mention are soul wrenching and I am here with ya brother, alot of the same happened to me with the ex wife moving on literally the next day and never looking back. You know what didn't happen though ? I got my kids 50 / 50 and while I am going to miss mile stones I am not going to miss them all. You know who does have to miss out and feel like shit? Your ex wife, every time a mile stone happens or you have fun with your kids she will feel like shit knowing she caused herse…
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/24 12:43 PM
1

If sucks the marriage ended but if there is no big betrayal ( don’t get me with i still understand your pain, rejection of affection is terrible) maybe take one for your team and go when you can.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/24 02:18 AM
5

I dont mean to keep prying but at the end did you two hate each other or just walk away peacefully is what I’m trying to get to.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/24 01:53 AM
2

Depends, what was the reason for divorce and was she a terror on the way out? Ie affair partner etc
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/24 01:19 AM
3

Dude you sound very codependent on each other, you get so worked up about your wife not smoothing things out for you that you don’t get out of bed? Idk what her issues are but the majority of these issues are you dependent. Go see a therapist before you wreck your life
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/24 07:02 PM
19

Dude you got full custody and the house? You won, she is a weekend parent and has to put everything into her relationship with ap or everything will be for nothing. That is one hell of a gamble she made and the benefits dont seem with it to me.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/24 06:56 PM
0

I agree, i think the first time is a novelty and your best bet. After that its all downhill and a zero sum game for anyone with assets.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/24 04:32 PM
0

Dam that was what i wss afraid of. The rate on second divorced is terrible and i wss hoping it was due to mainly ppl getting into the second too fast. The reality is, once divorced the idea of marriage means nothing.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/24 03:30 PM
2

Between your first and second marriage how much time passed before you got into a serious relationship? I waited 7 years before i purposed for my first and i am scared of a second due to first blowing up almost the 1st year.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/24 02:14 PM
4

Had this issue first couple of times. Eventually got over it by connecting with the person first. After a couple of girls i was normal with whoever it was.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/24 02:13 AM
3

Id call to see if you can cancel the hoi and get a refund. Be honest and tell her you can’t float the money need it for other things.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/24 03:13 PM
7

I actually enjoy responding to the angry messages with a thumbs up or an ok . Or even better your message has been received. The less antagonistic i come off consistency the better i feel when something blows up in their face and they have no legs to stand on. Note ppl like this will constantly do dmg to themselves and you need to do nothing but let them.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/24 12:46 AM
1

100 this
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/24 11:57 PM
6

She might only be eligible for equity based on when they got married. Ie house was worth 375 before and after its 400, would only be eligible for half of 25. That’s how retirement works
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/24 06:08 PM
1

You can set boundaries by of course you can’t dictate her actions. At some point you need to take a step back from back seat parenting when your child is with her , it will help with your mental health and allow her to grow as well. Best of luck.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/24 01:44 PM
2

She is going to use the baby and toddler to make you feel guilty, she has another dude and that is why she is shut off. Get a lawyer and go straight for a divorce and 50 50 custody, the longer you delay the more likely you are to be in the hook for everything. Remember this was her choice you are just now protecting your family ( you and your toddler).
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/24 02:19 AM
8

They don’t come back but they often date down and move super fast. Careful with how the new guy shows up, it will be planned and most likely hurt.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/24 12:23 AM
1

I checked with my lawyer and since there was no danger to the kids I’m not able to do much until her domestic violence case isn’t over.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/24 12:41 PM
3

That would be the goal, eventually . I’m not in a rush, just working out, studying for work etc. Lost a ton of weight and stopped drinking alcohol. Though i do drink non alcholic beer now for the taste and low cal drinks.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/24 01:39 AM
5

Ideally that sounds nice but would be unfair to the kids. Mother wasn’t perfect to me but overall she is a good mother.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/24 01:36 AM
8

Most places have no fault divorces which is a good thing ( though it would be nice if cheaters got the raw end of the stick more).
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/24 01:29 AM
3

The stuff with the kids is probably the only thing I’ve done consistently. She called me a disney dad the just few months because i brought them to the museum. 🤷 guess doing cheap things consistently is being a disney dad. Her friends all watch my fb and instagram like a hawk while i have her blocked. Kinda funny.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/24 01:26 AM
3

I haven’t hit that stage yet, 8 months since separation 4 since divorce with 50 50 custody of kids. I’ve dated a couple of women casually but couldn’t commit. I am hoping her relationship with ap blows up but even after she got arrested for domestic violence at my house they are still together.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/24 01:20 AM
10

Most men here didn’t get the choice and i have a feeling you aren’t getting the choice either. Did she bring it up, is she trying to make a we choice while you keep saying no? Its going to be confusing as hell when you realize she already has the next guy lined up
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/24 12:55 AM
1

You wont owe alimony and if you do it will be very little, ask your lawyer about specifics for your state. I was together 11 years married for 5, ex did not qualify for alimony in ga as 5 years is seen as a short marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/24 05:46 PM
1

What happens if i live in martial home and never move. Isnt that the more stable environment and will factor into things?
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/24 12:45 AM
1

Subbing, i bought martial home by ex wife moves often due to rent increasing often.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/24 05:36 PM
18

Easy, she has been cheating on you and now sees you as a random person in her way of true happiness. She has turned off all emotional switches in order to complete her objective. Everything she did is to help her justify her actions, even the DV and making you homeless or potentially you losing your job would only help reinforce her voice. Only if you over come all issues and make a better life for yourself after its all over will she see she was wrong for it ( from what i understand she might n…
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/24 12:19 PM
4

Best of luck, lawyer up and keep calm. If she pushes your buttons let her know gently that you ate following counsel advice and to reach out to your lawyers for details. Remember you dont have to be the bully, that’s what you pay a lawyer for.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/24 08:04 PM
9

Wtf is your problem dude, you have 4 out of 6 kids and she is smacking you left and right and you want to talk things out amicably? Everything should go via lawyers and emails before she puts you in jail. Play it aafe this is not a lady who is going to play fair or cares about her family or kids.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/24 08:01 PM
1

No alimony in Georgia at 5 years, i was told if she did it would be like 100 for 6 months or something small at most.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/24 03:04 PM
1

What anniversary ? The divorce means that day is just another day , trust me do not go for the gold , do not pass go etc. She is your enemy she most likely has another dude.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 02:13 PM
9

She moved out 3 weeks ago and she already has a boyfriend? Wake up dude she cheated there was infidelity. Hope do you deal with it? Start moving in her some hobbies, if your ready ( prob not) start dating. I am in similar situation, keep busy and stay busy. Your ex didn’t think of the kids she thought of her ap and how fast she could shack up with him. She isn’t a good person.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/24 07:24 PM
8

It’s sad but i agree, have to keep them thinking they need to be chasing something. You know just at the edge of safe but exciting. It sounds like a game because it is, second it gets boring they go looking.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/24 01:58 AM
1

Mine did the same, if it ended fast they get to say it was amicable and no cheating so they get to be with the new guy in the light. Everyone knows they cheated not sure why they think it will be rug swept when the children get older.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/24 11:19 PM
1

Id higher your lawyer again to verify, worth the money if you can fight it but normally it’s whatever was agreed upon in the settlement agreement
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/24 10:39 PM
9

Dude she was cheating, found out you moved on just as fast and more she regrets it. Keep it moving, ignore her family they would turn against you regardless.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/24 10:18 PM
1

My ex did this on easter, time to fully move on and do separate events .
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/24 09:49 PM
7

If she ended fast then note she had checked out instead of working in the relationship. Stop giving up your power to someone who didn’t care to put effort into a long term relationship. The new guy didn’t get gold he got fooled.
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/24 10:54 PM
3

I hate to say this but put in the ideal position. She cant watch the kids most days so you will most likely be awarded custody. She makes more money then you so you will end up getting 500 per kid if 50 50 and more depending on custody situation and health insurance choices. Go see a lawyer and become primary parent if possible. Not sure who started it but the higher earner os usually who feels the financial burden of divorce the most imo as they have to foot the bills the most. Also, does her 1…
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/24 04:57 PM
1

Guilt? Sadness? Fear? Love? Codependency? Idk pick one probably all
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/24 01:52 AM
1

Just spoke to lawyer and your right, they are not interested in taking anything up. Said no modification will happen since the kids weren’t physically involved.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/24 05:02 PM
1

I’m so confused on what your doing. It seems like your using divorce that’s to win arguments and battles. You can’t bring up divorce every time there is a fight divorce is just something you do. Goto MC as suggested by others and if that doesn’t work go file for divorce or get a lawyer and divorce. Bringing up divorce often is only hurting you and him but not to mention a giant mental game.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/24 01:13 PM
1

It is definitely pretty ripe at the moment we will see how ripe after i hear from my lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/24 12:25 PM
1

Dam that is disappointing, i know as a man if inhad done this it would be all over the place with jail time. She gets a weekend in county jail and a slap on the hand.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/24 07:46 PM
2

I have heard i can get temp custody until her mental health can be evaluated. Is this incorrect info? She was shouting at the cops she owned my house which is why she felt she could walk in anytime she wanted. Note she does not own my house.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/24 07:09 PM
4

Your right and this is what i am telling myself over and over. She has already attempted what i now actually can do. I can get a restraining order, she will most likely lose her job and I’ll become primary parent easily as a result. I dont think ill get additional custody but I’ll definitely get 51 49 custody and she wont be able to threaten me legally every month.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/24 03:45 PM
2

yes ! I was confused as fuck, she kept repeating herself as if this was my goal and I masterminded it all. Sad thing is this is not the first time she had threatened to come over when I said no. Each time she was well aware I would call the cops, I literally had this exact scenario play out once already. Why the fuck didn't she understand why I wouldn't call the cops ?
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/24 12:58 PM
1

I am paying child support because of SA, she left for her AP and moved in with him within 5-6 months. For some reason she thinks I should be subjected to him calling with her. She went nuts when I decided enough was enough , she also thinks she has a huge degree of control over me. I am going to speak to my lawyer about getting her evaluated.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/24 12:57 PM
5

I was actually very surprised my ex wife got arrested. I thought they where going to give her a stern talking to and she would go home. Instead they kind of humored her story then arrested her after she self admitted to criminal trespass.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/24 12:55 PM
30

Of course her actions are your fault
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/24 06:11 PM
11

I have no idea what my options are and still unsure of how I feel. I have reached out to my attorney to at least get an idea of what my options are.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/24 02:20 PM
8

agreed, I have no idea what she thought she was going to accomplish.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/24 02:19 PM
10

This is true i was hoping she was going to beg for an apology, instead she was pissed i didn’t accept her ap.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/24 01:41 PM
11

Not that i am aware of if anything she is upset i wont accept her ap as another parent. I have said multiple times we are parrlel parenting. I thought she was aiming to get back with me and when she made it clear that wasn’t the case i put her back to parrlel parenting. That set her off
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/24 01:40 PM
6

No we bought it together then when do divorcingi agreedto buy her out. The buy out process is taking a bit longer then expected.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/24 01:23 PM
19

What other choice did i have? She wouldn’t leave. She was shouting and screaming and taking things from my property when i ignored her.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/24 01:22 PM
9

^ basically this, she knew she wasn’t welcomed at the house and came into it anyway
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/24 12:28 PM
6

She drove to my house, opened my door and stood in my door way till i came to her. I asked her to leave several times with cops on the phone. She started yelling and didn’t think she did anything wrong. When cops showed up she repeated her story of the house being her though she hadn’t lived here in 8 months. I didn’t even know they where arresting her, apparently opening the door and walking in was enough to be criminal trespassing. Its all recorded too so she is in trouble on top of her words …
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/24 12:27 PM
12

She has proven that, day after divorce was finalized she tried a custody modification.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/24 07:13 AM
3

We got into a small disagreement, she made it into a bonfire and found a cross to die on. I had no idea it would turn into this. Nothing like this has ever happened.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/24 07:08 AM
7

I hope so, i called her family to let them know where she was and cried the entire time.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/24 07:07 AM
6

This is true , everything was recorded on my camera no doubts about it. Called cops asap when things went south, was not risking hands.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/24 07:06 AM
11

We are divorced i might need to edit, she left me and divorce settled in 2 months. She moved into ap by 4th month with my kids 50 50 . Its been wild
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/24 07:06 AM
5

Idk , i really don’t have an answer
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/24 07:04 AM
3

Its hard not to, i still care for her i just wanted her to leave.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/24 05:44 AM
2

We have been divorced since may and she hasn’t lived here since February. I just don’t get it, why would she tell the cops she owns my house?
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/24 05:44 AM
3

Get a lawyer, my ex tried saying her lawyer was being fair. Guess what happened when i got a lawyer? My lawyer found a ton of underhanded ways i was being screwed. All of a sudden i got 50 50 custody I got CS cut in half I got 60 40 of my house due to other expenses i was paying. I no longer had to pay 100% of daycare I got holidays i didn’t have before. Do not trust you’re stbxw
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 01:52 PM
3

Go get a lawyer , if she is saying no to 50 50 children time then you already have no way to negotiate with her. Remember 50 50 should be a starter for men !
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 10:22 AM
7

Counseling only works if both ppl want it to work. My advice. If the other person is offering it you have to take it or they will use it as an excuse to check out afterwards.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/24 01:16 AM
4

Its a year in and out talking about marriage? Run!
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/24 09:34 AM
2

If divorce is in the table now then its inevitable. Divorce now vs later when you have more assets to split.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 02:33 PM
13

100% in this, i got my ex to sign and close in 2 months. Literally 10 days after something clicked in her mind and now she threatens to change things via lawyers every month. None of it is changeable but i think she felt she would have alot more control like when were married. If she is checked out she is checked in somewhere else .
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/24 05:50 PM
2

For this sub at least i think you will find most stories about women having the next player lined up and going cold months before divorce. I know that doesn’t jibe with the stats but that’s how it goes with sub sets of ppl ( ie those who come to reddit to vent).
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/24 06:39 PM
4

Time my friend , time. I started dating straight out of the gate to try and feel better and it worked but didn’t work. Felt like i was cheating for the first two months with all sorts of anxiety. Keep moving forward and focus on yourselfon, take a step back if you feel over whelmed and do not over commit out of fear of losing a relationship early. If it feels it needs to go then let it go. Now is the time to focus on what you want.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/24 05:24 PM
3

Much appreciated! I know from my view my ex wife left for ap and I constantly fight against feeling like she “won” the divorce due to walking into a new family while i had moved to this state for her family and now have none. Its nice to be reminded of the ever moving train and picking up steam slowly. I’ve picked up a couple of dates but not as many as i had hoped once i picked myself back up. I’m backing off the dating and focusing again on my health, hopefully I’ll find something but the apps…
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/24 03:23 PM
9

It wasn’t depression in my case, i thought it was. Turns out line others, she was cheating. If she came out of the affair fog she might be trying to make up for the guilt or dmg to you she has done. Peek through her phone when she isn’t looking including whatsapp etc she prob isnt trying to hide it.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/24 12:27 PM
3

Omg this hits my ex on almost all fronts except the cleaning aspect. She wanted nothing more then to buy things, decorating and some level of ocd cleaning. All major choices and problem solving was left to me. Telling her no meant doomsday every time. Every argument was about the bad choices i made ignoring everything she did. It was a wild ride when the comparisons started happening out of no where.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/24 03:38 PM
6

This my ex threatened divorce for 5 years, on the 6th she moved out with her affair partner. If she is threatening it’s just a matter of time.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/24 03:17 PM
5

Not sure about the income desparity or state but i pay my ex 900 and I double her income. Get a lawyer and get that knocked down . I hate that 50 50 means we still pay them anything.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/24 08:22 PM
5

This 100% i now get dedicated free time! Its amazing how little i realized i was trapped and couldn’t spend my own money or go places without approval. Now? Random small trips to the museum, joined kickball teams , trying out pickleball , bjj , boxing etc. How did i get all this free time? Its insane
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/24 07:10 PM
5

Smart man , like another said. No kids and a divorce is the best, you avoided a life time of misery.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/24 11:55 AM
1

I agree
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/24 12:04 AM
5

Most first marriages work out, for the rest of us? 🤷 your boy crazy we are just picked wrong. Build yourself back up and pick again, this time get a prenup
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/24 07:20 PM
2

Get a lawyer, go for 50 50 and go for alimony. She is cheating and in the fog. You will not woo her back so stop trying. Dont get angry that you can’t get her back, focus on yourself. Do not move out but def start going out and not telling her or anyone else where you are going. Start living life for you and build yourself up, go to support groups etc do not be alone in this next process.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/24 05:22 PM
5

Good on you! Respect amongst men is few and far between. Marriage is sacred and while everyone has their own idea about it I wouldn’t want to involve meals in someone’s dreams period.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/24 05:07 PM
4

Fick that, both of you. Lost your meaning? Your self is the meaning. We men often give too much not receiving anything back. Your empty because no one poured into your cup while you did. Look at how strong you have always been, look at how strong you will be when you start focusing on yourself. Reach out to friends, family, support groups, random strangers. Anyone! Pull yourself up slowly, forgive yourself for the mistakes you have made and will make. Your new life starts now and it is your choi…
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/24 03:47 PM
8

If she is making things difficult then go for half of everything, i know your a man etc but she wouldn’t run twice if roles where reversed.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/24 05:30 PM
3

Hey just asked for an update on your other post, i appreciate you sharing your experience. I am not aure what you should do, I’m so sorry your running into this. Take some time and goto therapy, find out who you are and maybe ask your ex for some time for both of you to figure things out without seeing other people? At minimum you both need therapy individually to figure things out. I goto therapy twice a week at this point due to my own issues. Stay strong 💪
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/24 09:08 PM
1

Update? I’m going through this and expecting x to try and come back in the future.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/24 07:54 PM
0

Does she work? Any time a woman is able to interact with men there is an opportunity. It will start off as innocent then boom. Remember if your woman is even semi attractive she has been hit on. It is her job to not invite it.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/24 03:54 PM
8

Depends on you, do. 180 and say you are okay with divorce and go limited contact. Stop showing her you are available just because you want it to work. Give her space, go improve yourself and make yourself more attractive. Aim for 50 50 should it come to it, i try to imagine it like a vacation every other week. It still makes me sad 7 months later but I’m getting better every day ( 2 and 5 year olds). Be prepared she most likely has another guy in the wings and that is why she can’t see happiness…
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/24 02:03 PM
23

This is going to hurt to accept, dont fight the new relationship or even insult it. Leave it alone and push the divorce through, do so only in your favor though. She is in affair fog and will accept unfavorable terms for a couple of months. When she snaps out and finds out she ruined her life she is going to be a bat out of hell and looking to cause trouble. Best of luck stay safe !
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/24 08:07 PM
8

Separate events , no need to punish yourself. She made a choice for the family and you now have to decide how to best handle yourself in the new situation. One day you might be able to handle it but till then do what is best for your mental health.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/24 05:33 PM
3

Thank you for writing this all out, I am 6-7 months out on this journey and while the divorce was over in 2 months for I am still getting hit emotionally over and over. My ex has went from wanting to amicable to attempting to trying to take the kid's from me twice since I decided to not play back up player by cutting off comms. It is sad we don't turly allow ourselves to see our spouses until they are our former spouses. I think the true test we should teach our son's is to see how they treat th…
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/24 12:24 PM
1

Nah she would have just moved to threatening divorce , was with my ex for 12 years, dated 7 married for 5. Went from threatening to leave me to divorce , same shit different word for the threat. Same result , do what I want or I will leave you.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/24 04:11 PM
3

It sounds like you might get lucky with a limerance divorce. If this is true push for closure as soon as possible. I know you want her to wake up but trust me when she does it wont be pretty and it wont be the way you want. Start giving distance go grey rock and speak to a lawyer about a separation agreement. Aim for a 60/40 split and as much custody of your child as possible. Aim for things that seem silly and she pushes back then notice then and continue to work with her till you get as much a…
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/24 12:44 PM
11

From most of the happy posts i see, happiness has come after a year plus. For all the guys in those first 12 months its rough. Keep working on yourself and rebuilding, take time and take it one day at a time. You got this dude
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/24 05:53 PM
5

Oh no i was a different kind of dumb, i thought the sooner the divorce is over the sooner she and ap would end honey moon phase and come back lol. So still dumb just different kind of dumb. Now that im on month 5 or 6 i realize i was lucky to be that dumb, i do not want her back. I was the prize and she left her family.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/24 11:11 PM
9

I did mine in 2 months, i leaned into the limerance and congratulated her on finding love. Let’s see if that holds out after month 6
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/24 10:57 PM
2

From my understanding they can only do that if they have proof of income change. Based on his story no one’s income changed, she just lost a boyfriend who wasn’t in the initial agreement to begin with. So she shouldn’t have a case before 3 years is up right?
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/24 05:15 PM
4

This is a tough one, I’d reach out to a lawyer. I know they can file for modification every three years.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/24 04:50 PM
3

^ this she is leaving because she had someone lined up. Expect this to pop up fast. Go grey rock let her leave, show value by holding steady and not begging.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/24 07:06 PM
4

this she isn’t finding herself she is finding her new man. Leave her without a fight and get that limerance divorce
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/24 01:28 AM
1

This is good info, your right about alot of things. She makes threats but doesn’t have alot of ground. I didn’t stop her from coming just stated i would prefer her not to ( i guess that is the same thing in some eyes though) . I tried radio silence and she also threatened litigation on that.
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/24 01:26 AM
1

That is my current strategy, say little as possible let her be the aggressor. Grey rock all the way , best case scenario easy parrelel parenting . Worst case scenario she hangs herself with words.
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/24 01:21 AM
1

I honestly think it’s just noise. She uses lawyers as some sort of super power but so far my lawyer isn’t worried.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 08:54 PM
1

All of this is via appclose / email. Unfortunately she is rather confident that her crazy won't be taken to task so she freely threatens things.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 05:29 PM
1

She is about to get a pretty big windfall from the house, I assume she has already spent half of it living large. I only know the living large part as I still hang out with her mom and she is waiting on that equity money as well due to how much is owed to her. Kind of sad knowing they are about to rip each other up over money.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 05:29 PM
5

This is good info, I have a feeling as life passes her by she is going to get more and more upset. She has some weird idea on how this was all supposed to go and I am apparently not following it.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 05:27 PM
2

This is great to know, I normally only speak to her via text/email in a grey rock manner to avoid escalating conflict. The few times I have been on the phone with her I have regretted it every time.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 05:26 PM
1

Well that is sad if that is what is happening. I don't know much about the guy other then he had his first wife run off and leave him with 2 kids due to drugs and his second engagement died off relatively quick around the time my wife started most likely cheating. He might actually be captain save a ho and if so he is in for a wild ride.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 05:25 PM
1

You’re not wrong, i hear horror stories about court costs and the ex getting her lawyer paid for so its a 0 sum game to them.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 04:38 PM
2

I hate to do this as it will hurt the children in the end but it might be an option if it gets her to leave me alone.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 01:57 PM
3

This is good advice thank you!
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 01:56 PM
1

Not yet , mortgage company needs proof that she has been paid out for the equity on the house.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 01:18 PM
2

No idea, my assumption is she is living on credit card debt till she get's the equity from the house.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 01:17 PM
3

This is good news to me, I don't want to do anything other then let her fade away. My revenge is my success and letting her see what she missed as I walk on by without a thought to her.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 01:07 PM
2

This is what I am looking to do as well, I ignore her for the most part. The only item I have left from the divorce is to pay her out the equity on the house and she is stalling that. She plans to not sign for a heloc in my name only to avoid me keeping the house. I know she has no case and in the end I guess it works for me because I am paying less interest the longer she stalls? Idk its all so annoying
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 01:05 PM
2

Yes , I def need to continue to improve my grey rock. I have been decent at it but getting better everyday.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 01:03 PM
2

So this is something I can actually fight back with ? Ideally she would just leave me alone, she has her new life and I have mine.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 01:02 PM
5

Change her? Nah I tried to get her to be happy for years and all she did was play the uno reverse card (and still is) saying I am the unhappy one. All I want is a way to shut her down so I dont have to deal with lawyers everytime she pee's. We are only 6-7 months out from separation and 3 from divorce, she was sooo happy during limerance my divorce was easy. Now she is just a raging bull with red in her eyes, hell I still even hang out with her mother on the weekend's so I know I am not 100% at …
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 12:25 PM
3

This is all done over email and appclose app already. She is just extremely confident everything she does and says is correct. At what point do I go after for harassment ? Our settlement agreement/divorce was official as of May but since then she has threatened lawyers every other week for one thing or another.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 12:20 PM
9

Nah dude i tried and got laughed at. Chances are she left and has a back up already. You need to focus on yourself and the upcoming divorce. Even if you love her don’t show her.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/24 06:23 PM
2

🤷 idk man its turning off emotions though. The only thing you can do as a man is accept it asap and turn your life around by 180 and show her why she missed out .
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/24 03:19 AM
13

Once a woman turns off her emotions to you its already done. They are plotting their escape and soft landing on the other side. That could mean am affair, hiding money, working out to get fit to attract a new partner etc. its very very common if you read this sub.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/24 05:17 PM
7

No watch during my time, done deal.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/24 06:02 PM
3

^ this, dont make a big deal of her new boyfriend. If anything use the new happiness she has to win as much as you can in the divorce. Look up limerance and honey moon phase, do not try to get in between them! Fighting for her now will only push them together more, let them find each other and watch the drama when it happens.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/24 12:06 PM
4

That’s my goal, I’m going to show the only reason I didn’t was because she wouldn’t let me join in.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/24 08:51 PM
14

Is it bad that I’m going to miss that? I enjoyed how excited she got during holidays.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/24 08:42 PM
2

Second this, create boundaries and your relationship might improve. Or get a divorce and split assets asap better now then later
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/24 08:06 PM
5

Nothing but laugh internally and tell her you will take the kids extra. This is her mess and you aren’t apart of it.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 04:37 PM
1

I agree, i want my children to always live their mother regardless of my thoughts.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/24 05:25 PM
2

I badly need to do this. I’m still a bit emotional over being cheated on and gas lit as the reason for divorce. I literally begged her to stay but now that I’m okay with everything? All my fault I’m not communicating. Fuck that, i dont need to be mean but i also can be neutral.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/24 04:44 PM
2

He is slightly autistic and has adhd so i mainly want it for that. I did feel a little offended that when i mentioned parrllel parenting the therapist kept saying we should communicate more not less. I tried explaining how dangerous my ex has acted with provocking me to do something stupid, same response. Why would i sant to be near someone who wants to provoke me to get violent? I’m not a violent person but mess with someones feelings and children enough and they will snap. I have been strong b…
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/24 04:11 PM
1

We had a short marriage of 5 years though together 11 total. No alimony in short marriages so in Georgia they didn’t care at all. The ex offered 50 50 custody of kids to begin with, she was busy with her new toys kids. She has been pretty heated for giving custody up as she has started coming out of limerance slowly. My divorce was over in two months oficial by third month with assets split 60 40 in my favor.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/24 12:31 AM
2

In their eyes it doesn’t count as a romantic partner because “reasons” idk i guess saying the word friend makes thing different? My kid literally saw them kissing
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/24 12:29 AM
2

I’m very careful with my texts and emails and say nothing mean spirited or harsh. Just grey rock añl the way. I have medical rights so if this lady gets out of line I’ll just fire her.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/24 07:11 PM
2

Kids are 2 and 5 , i thought she was in post partum depression still the last year. Nope just good old cheating
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/24 07:09 PM
3

That’s my current goal, she keeps trying to t into my life and get some weird version of co parenting going like you would see on tik tok or Instagram. I think she missed the bad part alot cheating and that not working.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/24 07:05 PM
6

Goto couples counseling and also speak to lawyers. Be prepared for both outcomes. Either she does a complete 180 or you go the divorce route. If she said it once and doesn’t change then she is just preparing.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/24 06:36 PM
2

That was my exact thoughts, she did this literally one night. She wants communication I’ll give it to her when she respects me and the children. Till then I’ll keep my distance to avoid conflict.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/24 03:33 PM
2

Yea its a whole they want their cake and to eat it too, like i should be okay with what happened ?
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/24 02:26 PM
6

I hate using that term narcissism because i dont want an easy out for my half of the failed marriage. I accept my side of it but cant look past the constant disrespect and emotional attacks on myself and the children. I am very disappointed in the person i picked to have kids with. Divorce sucks but cheating, gaslighting and involving the kids? Never would have saw it coming
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/24 11:26 AM
5

Appreciate the reinforcement, i get guilted easy and forgive just as much. What i wont do is forget the pain that the ex caused me or how she brought the kids around a new guy the very first week she had them (50 50 custody) . I’m trying not to be angry but it’s so unrealistic to think i should forget all this over night.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/24 10:47 AM
4

Hate to say this but alot of this is on you not your ex wife. If your makes more then you you can try to change child support etc but other then that you gotta keep cutting along and fix your finances. Also why would you end up with someone who doesn’t work when you have been in the whole for 4 years? That’s just adding to your problems.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/24 12:21 PM
8

Saying no made my ex go nuts
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/24 12:42 AM
3

I blocked all my of my ex's family (all 2 of them) , I was the one who got left and the thought of them taking a family pic with the new guy was a big fear of mine. Maybe in a year or 2 ill unblock them and let them peek into me moving on with my life.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/24 09:36 PM
7

Don’t move out, you will be stuck paying for two homes
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/24 11:14 AM
1

Very true if its even close to 60 40 then that’s a great ratio for the leaver
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/24 12:33 AM
2

Grass is greener on the other syndrome. I wonder how often they are right?
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/24 04:52 PM
5

Did she make changes for you? My wife walked away and i noticed that i tried to work on my side but she hasn’t changed on her side. I was never given room to show i was changing and honestly not enough time ( change takes time and patience). My divorce was inevitable either this year or next due to my wife always having a foot out of the door .
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/24 01:07 PM
8

No , had the talk about what marriage meant after 7 years of dating. 1 year into marriage we had a kid, she left when he turned 2, came back another baby , left again at 2 for second baby. This time she went for divorce and here we are. Kids change things .
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/24 08:20 PM
4

Weekends are shit for you? Change that by your own hand. Get into a hobby, feel like shit? Get into boxing or some other contact sport. Nothing feels more alive then getting hit in the face. Get some adrenaline going my man and live! This is the time to stand tall for your kids and grow as. Person. You have no resentment? Cool , do you have hate? If not get some and channel that anger into becoming a different person , a healthy, strong confident person. Groups like this can help you cope but no…
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/24 12:30 PM
2

I read the book, I’m on my second read of it. I def have alotnof the traits mentioned. I am not going to help her and hung up on her as fast as i could. I’m not going to help someone who ruined their family. Someone i moved three states with just to be called the bad guy since she thought she found an upgrade. She can go cry to that guy and let him deal with her panic attacks and anxiety.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 10:30 AM
1

That is kind for sure, i have went from 30% bf to 24 and lost over 25 pounds. I have a beer or two if on dates but no alcohol otherwise. Joined boxing and bjj classes so even my cardio is getting top. I’m not even started on my ascent and lll make myself regret not doing this sooner.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 10:55 PM
1

I just recently got in dating apps, I’m so rusty i get maybe a match or two a week and of that maybe one has turned into a date in the past month. I need to get more comfortable finding them in public, just not used to it.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 10:38 PM
0

My list is a bit more forgiving 1. She would have to be willing to admit the affair no trickle truths . This would help me determine if incan actually forgive. 2. Couples therapy off the bat 3. Willing to sign a prenup if we moved forward 4. Understand she is on lockdown for a year or two while trust is built. It would be hard and some of those items might get harsher as time goes on but that’s where i am right now. Hopefully in a couple of months i dont want that list at all and move on but tim…
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 10:35 PM
2

So far its worked out for me, one girl i leaned on too much even after warning her. I am having off her for her own good since I’m not ready for a relationship and she clearly wants one. This one tonight I’m going to try and reset myself and just chill with no pressure.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 10:32 PM
3

Get a divorce she will end up bringing men to the house then what? Ask for counseling to save the marriage, when she says no quietly got an divorce attorney
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 03:21 PM
1

They will as long as you rise up, when someone dumps you regardless of gender they are betting on finding someone better. While you can’t control who she ends up with you can control your own actions. Get fitter, healthier, more charismatic, better carrer. Make her say why didn’t he do that when we where together? Every successful action you take will be a nail in the coffin of regret.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 09:05 PM
1

Exactly, then they goto their friends who are divorced to ssl them the same thing. Every single one says it made them 100x happier and more fulfilled. Dating single moms so far this is just not true. Its easier for them to tell other women how great divorce was then admit they made a mistake.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 08:50 PM
1

My ex would always get the reinforcement tiktoks saying i was abusive 😂😂 , somehow me letting her go without a fight doesn’t match up though.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 08:26 PM
1

It really is sad if this is true, our kids were set for life and all we had to do was be civil. Now divorce has set them back,and by the time she sees the fire she made I’ll be over this whole mess. She wont get a second chance at ruining their lives on my time.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 09:46 AM
5

Regardless of gender this is prime cheating actions. Not coming home, defensive about phone? Def cheating
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 10:32 PM
2

Makes sense, I am out to save my children and myself atm. Even buying her out of the martial home so they dont have a big upheavel. Its rough because it will make me house poor for a year but IDC the children shouldn't suffer.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 07:05 PM
2

Sounds like alot of negatives, have you brought them up? If you have and she cannot address then keep it moving. Imo the negatives seem big and the only positives seem to be what should be expected.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 06:12 PM
12

Its always momentarily happiness, it will fade and the fire around them will be noticed.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 06:09 PM
26

Age old tale, men sacrifice for household women sacrifice for their own happiness.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 04:09 PM
1

She doesn't come to my house, the therapist we each take a turn going to on our weeks. The therapist won't book another session for my son due to conflicting stories. My story is very simple, she left, she had a guy fast, she introduced the guy just as fast (1st month of seperation maybe even same week ? IDK didn't mention timelines. Her timeline to the therapist is who the fuck knows , she just mentioned every time our son comes back he hates everyone and its my fault ( i think she only gives h…
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 03:45 PM
5

I hate to think of it but that would make alot of sense, she started doing a 180 in a bad way in our relationship the less i fell into her escalations. Almost like me not fighting with her got her angry and she needed me to blow up to get a sense of affection, when i cut the tap she went nuts and asked for divorce and had a boy toy lined up.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 12:13 PM
9

Didn’t think if it this way, i thought it was heart felt but she has recently also threatened child custody modification due to me not talking to her. Posturing would be up her alley.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 10:56 AM
3

Wont doing this just prove her right all along? That I’m a mean ahole who she had to escape?
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 10:26 AM
7

This is the sad thing that i believe is true. She said i was always telling and screaming, all i wanted was to be left alone. I know now i wasn’t the angry person she said i was because i keep things to text only and she is still constantly mad and threatening things all the time and i just give her a thumbs up. One sided fights are awkward to watch.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 10:25 AM
5

She has a new guy and is living her best life why bother? All i try and do is stay in my own lane and ignore everything. Its like a constant escalation every time things get quiet.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 09:17 AM
7

I can understand that, i am working towards it but kids are 2 and 5 she is a school teacher and had the kids going to her school for elementary school. She aldo cheated with a parent so his kids goto the school to. Everything is pushed in my face hard to get past it.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 09:15 AM
6

If she is checked out its over. My suggestion give her the divorce she wants and work on custody of child in a fair manner. Want to win her back? go for a glow up to make her miss you. You might not want her back by the time you finish learning about yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 01:49 PM
9

Same , everything was good till she started saying i reminded her of her father.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 12:33 AM
4

Even if they block you they will have friends check your social. Its crazy when they start calling it out.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 04:56 PM
7

Yes, ex wives hate this one simple trick! Live life and be happy
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 03:05 PM
8

You can’t, you can ignore the slander and let your actions speak louder. There is a reason why ex wives hate facebook dads. There is nothing worse then telling everyone in the world your a monster just to see you are the opposite . It will drive them mad seeing you thrive. Stand tall , stand strong and move forward.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 02:16 PM
4

No way , if roles are reversed she will take you to the bank.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/24 01:48 PM
3

If the house is in her name you might be able to get part of it or give up all claim to it to avoid alimony etc. speak to a lawyer
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/24 01:40 PM
2

Exactly this, your a man who gives a fuck what she says. Walk proud and tall , let your actions speak volumes. Someone asks something then answer accordingly.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/24 12:40 PM
5

Get out while you can, this will only continue as she sees how easily you accept it by taking her back constantly.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/24 07:02 PM
7

Tell her
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/24 05:59 PM
12

Remember your their father and fun things can be more then shiny toys. Do low cost cool things like camping, hiking, movie nights etc. memories win out on effection not money.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/24 04:59 PM
12

You should see where its coming from, she had her cake and to was eating it too. New guy and old guy, your moving on finally and she is finally grieving your loss.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 02:21 PM
6

Exactly, you can always offer to do family dinners in the future but right now if its too hard just tell her you’re not able to and move on. She is going to guilt trip but whatever this is most likely her choice might as well let her bathe in the shit she created.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 12:46 PM
8

Stop going on dates? If she left you chances are you still need to heal. Id stop the family events as they are only making her happy and hurting you. Your kids will have to understand , if they ask just divert and take them out yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 11:22 AM
2

You can hire a lawyer and still do mediation, my ex and i did it. Total cost to me was 6000, i stopped all contact and told ex she can talk to the lawyer every time she wanted specifics. Divorce was over in 2 3 months, tbf i got a limerance divorce. I’m find the true effects of the divorce in a couple of months. Edit: total cost does not include assets split, that was 40% of the house and alot of the furniture and decor in the house.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/24 11:43 AM
9

Push through the trauma or not is the correct answer. My first date i literally cried after dropping off the girl feeling like i was a scum bag cheater. Funny thing? My ex wife had a dude for 3 months in the open ( prob longer as i suspect it was an affair but who cares at divorce time). After the third date i had fought my feelings enough to enjoy it. Just dont let your date feel your pain.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/24 11:38 AM
3

Agreed with this, i wouldn’t waste my time. Focus on you, if she was swayed by one doctor she would have been swayed by another. This guy wasnt special it was she was just not that loyal.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/24 03:24 AM
6

She thinks she can do better even if only momentarily. If that’s true or not time will tell. Men don’t win in the short term, it’s a tortise and hair kind of story. She may have many men lined up but how many want her long term? How many are quality? Life is funny in that there is no clear right or wrong just actions and consequences. Sometimes shitty ppl win sometimes they lose. The only thing we can control are our own actions, ignore her taunts and say ok best of luck and focus on yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/24 03:20 AM
6

Agreed with above. If you have a faithful woman work in the field’s.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/24 08:21 PM
6

I just did a GA divorce research your county and get several lawyers opinions. Cherokee county is 21% time for fathers normally where as the closer you get to atl the more likely. Also make sure you can read your stbx, ingot a limerance divorce and got it all done via mediation so the county just rubber stamped our divorce. X has threatened to go back to court for more custody and csupport already as they are realizing life is hard.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/24 01:15 AM
1

I want to be in your side as i am not for divorce at all, looking at your statements its hard to be on your side though. It seems the kid has been used as a weapon? Not cool. It could be he is tired of every fight moving toward divorce and you filling shows it. How often did you use the d word to win fights? Want him to come back take some accountability, he may be cheating but there isn’t enough info for us to know.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/24 07:48 PM
2

How do you know you will both be happy separately? Once divorce happens people change alot. You may not like who you’re suppose is once they view you differently as a person.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/24 01:32 PM
5

^ This, I had a cheating ex-wife who signed for 60 40 on the house , left a year before alimony kicked in. Also got 50 50 on the kids in a county where 21% is the avg. If you notice the affair fog lean into it hard.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/24 11:50 AM
3

Move to a none alimony state then divorce
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/24 07:54 PM
3

I currently do friday to Friday so 7 and 7, works for me atm drop off at school or daycare. No need for communication etc.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/24 09:20 PM
8

I would do this, do it sooner then later she had already made up her mind
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/24 01:14 AM
3

Id have her get a job asap, stay at home wife is going to get alimony and cs
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/24 03:47 PM
2

The neighbors wife does spy , the ex admitted as much. I’m do my best not to let her know I’m hurt but I’m not moving. This is my home and i built this house for them.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/24 12:17 PM
1

I’m in therapy weekly since this started
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/24 12:15 PM
2

How long before people see her actions for what they are? I am buying her out of the equity on the house but she shows up to the neighbors house to pay family with them and her new boyfriend at least twice a week. I would never shove my kids into the situation but somehow she is comfortable doing it from day 1
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/24 09:46 PM
1

This is almost spot on She is totally incapable of planning for the real future, whether that be in relationships, budgeting, saving for bigger purchases or adventures. She wants everything RIGHT NOW. In that way, she’s a lot like my kids. After she was gone I realized that I actually had four kids, her and the three we had together. ^ I had to save for all the big purchases like vacations, car purchases, insurance, dinners, home improvement projects. Asking her to even save 50-100 dollars a mon…
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/24 09:38 PM
2

I did this in Columbia, stood in Medellin it was cheap as heck. Only did it for a week will probably go back at some point.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/24 07:00 PM
8

Your problem is you threatened to leave her when she was already gone. She cheated twice and you stood around? This was all planned dude , the guy is most likely exactly who you think he is. Get a lawyer and get go grey rock more, stop trying to salvage the relationship. Dont fight either no need to get angry its not worth the energy.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/24 05:53 PM
2

Those are good idea's, camping trip sounds fun. Money is tight atm due to settling out the agreement but I have been doing things like swimming at community pool etc. Over night trip somewhere close will be a good idea.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/24 02:13 PM
3

What is terrible is I know I shouldn't hope for her to do bad since it will mean my kids will suffer but that is all I can hope for should I be asked. I want her to realize she left a field unwatered and that is why it withered not that there is greener pastures. Right now she is for sure giving off the image that this new guy is the bees knees and he was supposed to be there the entire time.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/24 02:12 PM
3

I did get the limerance divorce and while I am not happy about the divorce I am glad once I realized what was going on that I pushed for it to end asap. The diverting is also what I am trying to do but sometimes it is rough, I will keep moving. You need to figure out how to be a better partner for the next woman if that's what you want. I do want to be a better partner and I and doing my best, I am in therapy once or twice a week to go over my own problems and hope to do better the next round. I…
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/24 02:10 PM
3

Haven't heard of this book before , I will give it a look ty
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/24 02:08 PM
1

I didnt like it but my ex wife showed up with the police, it was weird because I wasn't aware the police where coming until they showed up. I was literally helping her to her car when they came lol, I would call the non emergency line and get the police to show up before she gets there.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/24 12:59 PM
4

Appreciate this, i am doing a great job of putting on a face and not showing its effects but the second I’m alone i collapse and need awhile to regroup. I’ll keep moving though ty for the boost
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/24 12:56 PM
3

That is my current goal, i am grey rocking when we do discuss and use email and an app for communication to create distance boundaries. Everything else though feels like hell sometimes. I’m on the dating scene to try and get over everything and not involving my kids but fuck does it is hard. I can understand why she introduced the kids so fast, life would be so much easier to just pick a random girl and say hey this mommy now let’s continue life. It would also be so very wrong and unfair to the …
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/24 11:57 AM
2

The weight i could look past, love and vows all that junk. Financial infidelity though? Nope she has an addiction and will sink you
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/24 10:18 PM
5

Second this, i got a killer deal. Child support is low and custody is 50 50. I am buying equity on house at 60 40 and kept alot of assets. As much as it hurts lean into the affair slightly by setting a boundary that she can do whatever she wants on her own time as long as it isn’t at the house. Dont say no to her etc she is going to do whatever she wants anyway might as well not make her an enemy until paper work is signed. Grey rock is your friend, keep comms only about divorce and the kids. Re…
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/24 08:22 PM
1

💯
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/24 06:11 PM
1

If she is getting alimony isn’t it worth it to get it dropped?
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/24 06:11 PM
3

I would change it to at fault divorce and take screenshots of everything being done. ( didn’t read other story so if done great) also consult your attorney on if you can get her out saying you dont feel safe etc.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/24 05:08 PM
1

It's all about time, stay strong and don't beg her back. Keep your pride and walk away matching her energy. Don't be surprised if a new dude shows up fast, most likely one is already involved.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/24 03:02 PM
8

It hurts but do you really want to be with someone you have to convince? She could be taking you for granted and you might be perfect together but she wants what is over the fence. Let her go, you deserve someone who want's to be with you not someone who needs convincing.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/24 02:39 PM
5

No , I think she was trying to coach him to say he is being abused/hit by dad. He found it got him attention and started saying it when in trouble. I could be wrong but I am introducing him boxing / BJJ (at a reputable location so its not just dad beating him lol) so he is aware of what a healthy fourm of physical contact looks like . Right now he is only watching me get tossed around and punched but everyone at the place is nice and shakes hands after every round.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/24 02:32 PM
4

I avoid phone calls unless its an emergency, anything over 2-3 minutes i tell her im busy and hang up. I follow up with an email on the subject to discuss it. She calls me a child and all sorts of nasty stuff. You would think I ended the marriage and forced the 50 50 on her. The only thing i can think of is she is mad she cannot control me anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/24 02:25 PM
2

Stay strong your not alone, it’s not an easy road but you decide your part in it and how you come out
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 08:10 PM
3

Do you have a settlement agreement or child support agreement? If so reply back with the agreement case closed. If not go get a lawyer and figure out what you’re looking at for cs and go from there.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 05:50 PM
8

Your marriage is over dude, this sub will be a litter of your exact scenario including mine. I went through the same phases. The sooner you step back for for divorce and grey rock the easier the dude showing up in a month will be to accept. If your not ready it’s going to send you into a worse spiral then your in already. When your ready and need support feel free to pm me
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 05:29 PM
3

I second this, i have cleaners come every other month. The ex was essentially replaced for 200 dollars lol. I do dishes and laundry myself in sure having someone do my laundry once a month would be like 200 a month.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 11:53 AM
5

Fuck no, she is hanging around ppl that will eventually be around your kids. She was drugged enough to not remember two days and still stood around for another 2? Who will take care of your kids during that time if they aren’t also beaten or taken advantage of.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/24 01:29 AM
1

I haven’t looked in a bit on this but when i did it seemed weird because it was over 50% on both sides that did not they divorce but only on the initiating side. The divorced side usually had a harder time. For men the later in life the worse the divorce was for them due to social circles. For men the sooner the divorce was the better due to having time to rebuild. Ie women always win in the short term but men recovered better long term for the most part. This prob also assumes divorce rates whi…
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/24 01:02 AM
2

Have you tried therapy already? Both individual and couples?
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/24 06:46 PM
3

Let the tantrum die out where it starts and walk away. When the kid sees you move away from the immediate area they will follow ( dont do this in a non controlled environment obviously) . Once in the new area i do very very small time outs ( they are 2 and 5 on my side) I’m talking maybe 30 seconds to a minute. I remind them in and out of tome out that they are loved. It isnt 100% proof but it seems to mostly work. Ex is still getting issues and constantly has hand play going on still where as f…
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/24 05:15 PM
2

I would check stats, for the majority of divorced ppl in general the answer is no. Though for staying it is also no. It seems no matter what the answer is no lol.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/24 04:50 PM
10

Your relationship is already over, you don’t even need to tell her just go lawyer up and have her severed.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/24 01:32 PM
4

She is trying to give false hope, the angle is to pull you in and get your attention. Once you act on this and give her attention she will act like your crazy and will be bitter and cold. Want to have her pursue you? Do nothing and let the love bombing increase
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/24 03:35 PM
7

Your 💯 % right kick her out asap , call her family yourself and let them know your feelings on the grandpa if you must but you will never see them again . Once the divorce is settled they will become strangers even if it takes an amount of time.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/24 12:12 PM
2

Be excited it’s annulment, no alimony or kids you get to start over and find someone who values you and aligns with your goals. This person didn’t change they expected you to change, look around this sub will remind you it could always be worse there is some real horror stories. For me the stories of 30 to 49 year marriages falling apart because the wife decided to stray really break my heart.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/24 12:09 PM
1

Get out asap get the marriage annulled if possible,speak to lawyer asap.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/24 11:12 PM
2

Your going both ways at the moment and i think that’s bad. Choose a path one of which might be chosen for you regardless. If your not leaving then your working on staying, in that case you can’t prepare for her to leave imo
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/24 04:37 PM
5

Agreed with the above, someone gave her attention. The dude either didn’t give her enough to pull the trigger or she got cold feet last minute. Chances are she will reload emotionally and follow through in the near future if that’s an year or more. Best of luck
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/24 02:22 PM
4

Isnt this the scariest thing? Its a very relatable pattern between every guys story. Some variation but for the most part no one is unique. It normally boils down to the woman is bored in life gets tingles from some loser ( after all who else goes after married women?) and then burns everything down to be with the new guy. Dint get me wrong there is stories if abuse etc that are legitimate but for the most part on this subreddit its the same thing over and overover.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/24 12:34 PM
2

Agreed, she will emotionally reload, spend a year getting in shape and gas lighting him to kill his confidence. In her spare time she will be shopping for the next guy.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/24 07:48 PM
5

I went to Colombia and panama, wife divorced me before alimony eligible so I’ll buy myself a new to me mid sized truck, first new vehicle in the 11 years i was with her (made her wait 7 years before marriage and she still was surprised she couldn’t change me once married)
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/24 01:44 PM
21

Had something similar happen, she came back until she got her plan together again and went round 2. Your lady is already gone, the problem is her plan fell through. Dont be her back up plan.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/24 11:41 AM
1

I agree entirely
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 07:59 PM
5

We can discuss without getting aggressive, we are all here to support.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 07:01 PM
2

What would be a reasonable timeline though? 5 weeks is a long time imo to be stuck holding the bag
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 05:25 PM
4

Nah fuck friendly, that’s only going to lead to more drama like you have already experienced. Separate events going forward is the way to go. I haven’t experienced a fraction of that and I’m still going separate events to avoid drama. If kids ask i will be honest, mom and dad dont get along.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 04:49 PM
4

It sounds like that is where he is at? She keeps dodging and he is left holding the bag
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 04:44 PM
13

Just do it yourself, tell them mommy left and they will see her based on the custody agreement. No need to wait on her.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 02:01 PM
4

💯 agreed, all phone calls can be email
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 12:23 PM
7

Have her look into loan assumptions, I’m assuming my loan and buying the wife out of her equity.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 12:05 PM
8

Build the empire and dont care what the lands over yonder are doing. They might be building a village they might be building a castle it doesn’t matter. Grey rock and keep building your own.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 11:59 AM
7

This is what i want for my life, the response of yes what did you think i was going to fall apart just because you left? Nope i thrived.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 11:57 AM
10

It seems like she gas lit you pretty well. If its anything like my experience she did so till you popped and acted irrationally. Remember you part in this when you think about your adult children, your not trying to win the mom back but your kids. You got this man keep on keeping on and don’t engage with the ex
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 11:53 AM
6

Go grey rock man, most ppl and hr departments wont care about your drama. Start healing and stip giving into your emotions. Angry and want to vent ? Reach out to a friend and vent or journal. Want to reach out to the ex and share feelings? Dont, communicate in 1 sentence at most and be direct. Phone calls shouldn’t last more then 5 to 10 minutes. Best of luck man and remember no one is coming to save you but you.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 11:20 AM
9

Most attractive trait a partner can have, loyalty. This one is for the streets she made you plan F not even plan B. Move on with your life she did you a favor divorcing you and not simply cheating on you behind your back. Go back to no contact other seems it was the best thing for you and as for her she can go live the life she thought was on the other side of the fence.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 12:07 PM
3

Wait till she starts going out or surprises you with a boy friend. They always have someone they have been preparing in the wings.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/24 07:35 PM
3

Listen to your lawyer and stop working OT if he agrees, that OT is going to be counted as normal income.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/24 12:21 PM
2

Nah if the wife is cheating she will want the divorce asap. I got my house on a 60 40 split and 50 50 custody split . My ex having the time of her life mirroring the new guy, by the time she realizes she could have got my 401 etc it will have been a year after the divorce is over. Got to get them while they are happy and draw no attention to their cheating. Just grey rock and make the lawyer whittle them down .
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 12:31 PM
3

If you have an app for communicating turn off notifications. She can call for emergencies and i check the app once a week. It pisses her off but idc she ran off with another guy so its not my problem.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 12:12 PM
10

Start getting out, she is holding on to you until she finds her version of an upgrade.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/24 08:37 PM
8

Leave it be, not worth it
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/24 03:44 PM
2

Do it then, she isn’t your friend. Its not burying her, you are just giving her what she wants, this is her new life let her live it including the bad parts.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/24 04:43 PM
7

2 years? Yea that’s a chance to have tested the waters multiple times , you really believe it was only emotional after 2 years?
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/24 05:13 PM
2

You now have a week to discover yourself, join a running club, some sort of karate or boxing bjj gym. Keep activities going. Rediscover who you are without your family. You will be amazed how you start to enjoy the weeks without your children as much as with. I do salsa, bjj, boxing, kick boxing with a random date if i have one on Fridays. Do not get into a relationship yet
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 07:57 PM
3

This id check her phone and social media apps, she has some one priming her up but she is scared to jump. There will always be another tree and branch.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 04:47 PM
9

Every time i hear these stories they never end well unless it was the man who initiated. Once a woman has lost attraction they only come back if their plan b fails and your plan d
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/24 05:18 PM
5

Her plan B failed, you are now plan c while she looks for the next upgrade. You can’t trust her and it is a guarantee she will do it again. Want to test her? Make her prove herself for a year while she is living elsewhere. Your going to sniff dishonesty left and right though as she starts feeling around for the next guy. The idea of your family died the day she cheated, things will never be the same and she will never respect you for taking her back, in fact she will start to resent you for bein…
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/24 02:23 PM
2

Agreed the anxiety and stress has gotten to me alot lately the x has stepped up the mental game on me lately now that the divorce is over.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/24 01:14 PM
2

Dam jealous of you both was 215 now 185 . Need to slow down on the bad food. I gave up alcohol for awhile which has helped a ton. Need to hit 175
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/24 01:03 PM
11

If it’s anything like my stbxw, she is mad she is walking away and blames me for not being the man she wants to stay with. Its like a double negative where all their shitty choices to not work in things are our fault. Are you or I perfect? No probably have issues that need to be worked on, admitting those issues and working on them are key, the other side? They only see it as your fault working on things isn’t something they do.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/24 11:46 AM
2

Good 🧐 thinking
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/24 09:31 PM
2

Yes , she doesn’t need to know anything till she needs to know.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/24 09:01 PM
3

If she is dragging her feet that means she is happy with the situation and knows she is going to pay out. My thoughts, go get a lawyer to draft a rough settlement agreement and tell her to come to mediation or your lawyer puts this in. Imo you should just have the lawyer file for divorce regardless and have him or her at mediation. Best of luck and dont skimp on the lawyer, while she is having the affair and happy is the best time to have your lawyer push for mediation.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/24 08:03 PM
3

Remember you’re the prize your life is worth too much to end
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/24 09:16 PM
5

You sure its as new as you think? Most women set something up before the divorce
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 01:34 AM
2

Check with a lawyer on details of physical separation, you probably already have the answer but does seperate rooms count?
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/24 09:49 PM
10

Move back into the house, if your name is on it get a lock smith to legally open it up
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/24 08:31 PM
2

Reach out to the bank to get information or a credit beraru
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/24 12:05 PM
-1

Not a troll, why would anyone have sympathy for a cheater who is showing no remorse? You called her a bitter and angry woman , but also gave her credit for being a good mother. You also make sure to point out how long you have been with the kids in comparison to their marriage none of which seems to be apart of the conversation. imo go ask a lawyer or separate group , I don't have sympathy for cheaters.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/24 03:06 PM
-6

I hope she gets it, cheaters dont deserve alot of sympathy.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/24 02:50 PM
11

Just remember , life seems to be easy mode for her from the outside. No one wins in divorce unless in the case of abuse. In the end both sides will end up worse and with less access to resources and the kid will suffer. It's hard to see it from the outside but don't focus on her , focus on how you can become a better you with your next steps.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/24 12:04 PM
2

Use the anger to continue to thrive but like another person said, be mindful. Success like yours is the best revenge.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/24 11:20 AM
1

Good on you for seeing that it is not the gender that is the problem but the person who fucked over the marriage. I know life is tough but in the end we are all people who are hurting.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/24 11:19 AM
12

This 100% , and then they will encourage other women to divorce their husband. They do it not to help the other woman but to get validation that they made the right choice due to other people also getting a divorce. I think I read there is a 30% increase in chance of having a divorce simply by knowing someone who is going through a divorce as it becomes normalized.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/24 11:13 AM
1

Id double check with a lawyer but isn't the age limit till 23? Sounds like you should be done regardless based on age. Of course there is a cap that you should check on as well like you mentioned, if you have already hit the cap you should be done as well.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/24 03:25 PM
17

Shes looking for her next hook, at this point your done. Hey a lawyer and prepare to find out she has someone in the wings already.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/24 01:53 AM
1

Your being strung along, get what you know needs to be done done. Divorce hurts and will be devastating but it’s only a matter of time
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/24 10:39 AM
3

Go do Bjj and boxing , it is def fun and you will be absolutely humbled by how gased you get not to mention toyed with by even decent ppl
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/24 05:22 PM
9

I wouldn’t say anything, let your lawyer do the talking
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/24 02:05 PM
3

Hey I’m in the same boat. Used to be into video games etc Now i enjoy none of it as i associate it with the failure of my marriage and a reason my stbxw cheated. My new hobbies seem to be about killing the old me and making something new and attractive? I’m into bjj kick boxing, salsa dancing, i travel to a new place every three months, hiking etc. Essentially I’ve gone from a hermit to something else
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/24 05:50 PM
1

I’ll take a look, what hurts the most is hearing about it from the kids. She couldn’t even keep them out of it
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/24 11:24 PM
4

Would have to speak to a lawyer about it, I would hope so but idk. Seem's better then waiting for the inevitable divorce though.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/24 08:54 PM
1

I think Jail might be a bit extreme , loss of % of martial assets ? Yes Loss of CS support ? Yes Alimony is already off the table with adultery in most states I believe ?
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/24 08:49 PM
1

I can agree but i still think i could have lowered my tone. I wasn’t perfect, that of course doesn’t mean she wasn’t greedy and wouldn’t take no for an answer.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/24 08:33 PM
1

I semi know my value which makes it hurt. I literally gave her her entire check to have fun while i payed all the bills and did my share of our daily stuff. Sometimes i worked two jobs just for extra fun money making well over 200k myself. We had everything, the only thing i did not have was her respect . No matter what i did she would seek approval from others and take care of other people while ignoring me. Its crazy that i still don’t understand it.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/24 08:32 PM
4

Who said all? Postnuptial is reasonable considering divorce is a life altering subject and she has brought it up more then once. Its like threatening death and laughing it off
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/24 08:11 PM
4

Get her to sign a post nuptial agreement or start a divorce. My stbxw would throw out divorce once a year till it became every month and then bam one month it was real and she had a new guy the “next” day. Believe what she says women act on emotions
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/24 07:56 PM
1

Must have good profile then, I’m in similar circumstances and not having the best results. Don’t want a hook up but sure would be good for a confidence boost and casual conversation. Keep it up!
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/24 07:27 PM
1

Which app is this and are you in a major city?
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/24 07:22 PM
1

Very true , hate that i have to deal with it. Trash panda is trash
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/24 07:21 PM
5

Dating apps are working for you? Dam lucky you I am doing horrible at them lol Best of luck man keep going forward and your right fuck her for blowing up your family. She will figure out her problems and cry for the family and the future she lost.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/24 07:04 PM
1

This is my goal but it’s still so fresh it hurts. She keeps bringing my kids around the other guy and the only thing i can think of is holy fuck how did you become everything you hated? I’ll get over it but i never could imagine how this would all feel and now that im in it i was right. This feeling is unimaginable.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/24 02:26 PM
2

I have a pair , no reason i can’t vent about an bad time in my life right? Best of luck in your future
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/24 01:23 PM
5

Depends , is there a point to revealing the cheating ? If it's to avoid alimony etc I would get a lawyer rather then dealing with mediation.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/24 11:43 AM
1

Dream was the normal 2 kids and a dog dream with a nice house. We had it, but now poof over night its gone. Dont get me wrong we weren’t perfect but we had it all
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/24 09:20 AM
1

While i know this to be true, it’s hard to forget the dream you know?
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/24 02:12 AM
1

Yes , we got here do to how we handled conflict resolution. I can agree i have work to do on how i handle escalating conflicts. I am working on that, i cant say if she accepts her part though. We can only work on our side of the house right?
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/24 06:34 PM
0

Ha , sad thing is i would play them all day if it meant fixing things up. Hell by not playing her games in told she will come around faster, is it correct? Idk but it seems less stressful then the other side of the coin.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/24 06:32 PM
1

They had an amazing life of both parents together with minimal issues. Dont get me wrong i know we had problems but if we both worked on them it would have been fine and we had the cash flow to do so. We just needed to open up and continue to trust each other. Co parenting is going to add another layer they didn’t need. Kids are resilient but there is no substitute to two living parents. I get the two happy houses are better then one dysfunctional house bit but our house was working a good 80% o…
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/24 06:31 PM
3

If you decide on divorce do not buy a house. You will just have to sell it
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/24 04:54 PM
1

I won’t introduce someone to my boys to spite her, not fair to the kids. On point for everything else, though i have to remind myself of it everyday.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/24 04:52 PM
3

Bad mouth her? If anything me problem is i keep forgetting all the slights against me and blaming myself for the divorce. She said i yelled during arguments (we both did and i wanted marriage counseling) but cheating and moving out was the end. She gave me 50% custody and every lawyer has said the same thing. She had a boy friend and wants to party, 50% give her time to be a mom and a teenager at the same time. I guess the same could apply to me? I’m a home body though so im not looking to goto …
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/24 03:37 PM
7

100% it does , broke women can go off knowing they get alimoney and CS and claim 100% independence like they did the work. if it went by money in money out most ppl in general would not be excited by divorce
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/24 03:17 PM
2

I guess so, I’m so wild on emotions and how to handle it. Sometimes idgaf other times i feel like a simp for trying again and again. Just trying to find my center and move forward, if she comes she comes but i need my center first.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 06:14 PM
2

Even if the divorce is final within a month or two? I’m paying it cool and acting in different. I did mess up by calling her out for having a dude the next day she leftand possibly cheating , this was 2 weeks ago and she has gone back to trying to be friends. So now i am back to limited contact in case i blunder again.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 04:55 PM
3

I am doing everything i can to keep moving forward and be happy solo. All i want is for my ex to give me a chance but know it wont happen ( i alrdy asked a month ago). It is very hard to not ask again and again and again. Just want to put my family back together again.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 04:41 PM
2

3 months in , my ex sped through divorce a d ga lets it go through asap. Ex already has new life setup while I’m still looking for pa ts. Not sure what I’m supposed to be doing but the feeling of failure sounds about the same.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 04:15 PM
1

This sounds pretty normal, it was her equity.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/24 07:34 PM
3

It was a invite by folder not directly to me. Just got lucky i saw the invite and it was my week, i am not that social.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/24 06:22 PM
2

I am, see a therapist once or twice a week depending on the weekon.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/24 05:22 PM
3

I’m forcing myself out , i cant allow my children to be taken by someone who would abandon her family so easily. Cheated and gave me 50% custody, either out of goodness of her heart or because she didn’t want the kids full time. Avg father in my state only gets 21% of time and ingot 50 without asking.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/24 05:08 PM
3

I’ll take it
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/24 06:34 AM
6

That’s fair, I’m def not ready for a serious relationship. I got messed up bad, might date casual but nothing my kids can see
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/24 11:44 PM
4

That’s sad
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/24 11:29 PM
1

I know, but knowing my flaws i can only work on myself. Knowing my flaws caused issues that effected my children’s future, idk i know ill get over it but today was a rough day. The shitty thing is when we are near each other we move lock in step as if we where still together. Co parenting is way to easy for her, i struggle to hide my feelings in person but manage. Just going in circles now. I am responsible for my own happiness and need to focus on that more.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/24 11:29 PM
1

Should also add i got invited by luck of whos week had the invite date
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/24 09:26 PM
3

Boundaries, read no more mr guy nice guy and cried. I never set strong boundaries, never asked for what i wanted. When i did not get what i wanted i would lose it. I was not 100 at fault but for my part i did shit things
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/24 09:16 PM
5

This is what i need to hear, i got out of divorce pretty easily and should thank my stbxw for not wringing me out to dry. I see more and more how i was at fault but knowing she was cheating? Fuck it hits hard . I have to be more positive and be glad i have 50% custody.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/24 09:08 PM
5

That is what happened to my next door neighbors. They knew wife was cheating and covered, had the ap over for dinner by end of first month even though in staying in the neighborhood and she isn’t. I’m handling it decently but man it sucks
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/24 09:02 PM
2

That might be true, my wife and i did that up until she left.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/24 08:59 PM
1

I agree, just sad and triggered when I should be having fun with my son.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/24 08:51 PM
-1

Makes sense , hard to look past my own current misery to do the scratching. I’m here with a smile though or at least what may pass for one lol
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/24 08:50 PM
1

I hate that this happened to you but i appreciate you sharing. It gives me confidence to keep moving forward as we sign the settlement agreement. I am keeping the main house and it is pissing her off. I think she is trying to provoke me to do something stupid .
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/24 02:31 AM
1

She has education l have medical. She wanted to put our kids on meds so i had to take it.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/24 04:39 PM
5

Rise up!!
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/24 11:52 AM
4

I’m not worried about the affair anymore so much as how it is going to effect my children and myself. Teachers are very gossipy and constantly talk like high schoolers. My boys are always going to be known as the kids of the teacher who sleeps around with parents and they aren’t even in elementary school yet. Why do ppl who cheat think so short sighted?
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/24 10:30 AM
4

Look into a 529 account, good for education and while I’m not sure how protected makes it easy to state to the court its intended usage.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 05:51 PM
1

That is my bet, I’m pushing to buy out the house 60 40 cash
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 02:08 AM
6

Nothing to do but cry it out. You can’t stop it and this was going to happen eventually. Go workout go learn something, go run and be distracted. Do not drink!
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 09:39 PM
1

This happened to me, stbxw agreed on a plan. Brought it to her lawyer and changed everything. She is the enemy not a friendly face. Be cordial but that’s it
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 04:16 PM
12

She will play house for moments in time and then go back to ap. Dont be a cuck keep it moving fory you got this.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 12:15 PM
15

Stbxw is currently doing it to me. Its stringing you along so she can justify her actions. Your plan B now, the longer you respond with even more then yes/no the more she will bread crumb you. Remind yourself, she is dead and now your talking to someone who is only out to hurt you.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 12:12 PM
3

So basically be cold to women and they will love you for it? Give them too much love and they will run?
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 12:02 PM
1

What does that do though? Who enforces it and what benefit does it bring?
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/24 12:59 PM
5

Wife separated once after our first child, she came back 2 months later. A month into it she told me she had went out with her ex boy friend once but it didn’t matter since we where separated. 3 years later and another baby she is leaving me again and trying to ram the divorce through as fast as possible. Dont let them come back easy make them really regret leaving other wise you will be the one working to show them why they shouldn’t leave again instead of the other way around.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/24 12:40 PM
1

What happens if they don’t? How do you enforce it?
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/24 11:33 AM
0

Yes!! My wife was screaming how my condepency issues where not going to be her problem anymore after the divorce. I was so confused
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/24 01:52 AM
8

God that is gold though a nightmare of sorts
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/24 01:37 AM
1

lol I’m not the violent type so i wont, I’m having issues even getting used to hurting ppl in bjj
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/24 10:03 AM
1

Tyvm i want no ill towards the mom but jesus I didn’t think she would ever pull these things.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/24 10:01 AM
6

That’s true, I’ll keep my nose up and move forward.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/24 03:53 AM
1

Yea that is true, its so hard to understand my stbxw atm. I would hate to try and replace their mom and push her personality on them like i yave a feeling will happen to me.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/24 03:52 AM
16

I appreciate this, i have them 50 50 so the more i think about it clearly there is no way this could happen unless i physically allowed it. I am at a low point but comments like this help me remember to stand back up.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/24 03:50 AM
6

To answer your question, slow down. Don’t text and let the women chase you a bit
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 11:29 PM
6

Same issue , bread winner told i was useless despite doing my share of chores cooking dinner and taking the kids to doctors appointments. The more time goes on and the more i hear my ex is just partying like she is 18 the more i realize i wasn’t 100% at fault. The fault laid in poor communication that two ppl couldn’t figure out. A big thing for men imo, once you let a woman push you around or sneak behind your back, the power dynamics will always be in their favor due to walking away. Let her w…
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/24 10:53 AM
1

This is good to hear, I’m keeping the house in my situation. The interest rate and growth opportunity are great should interest rates come down. Biggest thing if course for me is it feels like home even without the stbxw.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 09:21 AM
7

She is lashing out so she can justify her actions. You cant say anything nice because she is most likely scared and hurt running on emotions. No one wins in divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/24 02:53 PM
1

Exactly , which is complicated and she wont like it but a lawyer might convince her to do it to avoid lengthy trial
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/24 12:45 AM
1

Mine is fidelity, the 2.75 is my mortgage not the rate of pull. I’m pushing for my lawyer to male them accept a quadro so the stbxw can do the pull without the 10% penalty and lower income tax rate. If not I’ll be taking the hit anyway. The mortgage rates wont be 2.75 again for decades so its worth it to me .
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/24 02:51 PM
2

I am draining my 401k to buy out my stbxw, with an interest rate of 2.75 i think it is worth it.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/24 12:32 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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