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Duchesst Archive

View 7 posts and 113 comments by Duchesst on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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32

So she was sucking on another mans D but still thinking about YOU
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/25 08:23 AM
9

Don't move out. Talk to a lawyer first
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 02:40 PM
2

Maybe take up fire breathing as a hobby?
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 09:29 PM
9

Divorced at 38 ended up with nothing. No money, no friends, a job i started to hate and a serious desire to check out. The only positive was that i got 50/50 time with my kids. Now at 41 i have all the friends i can dream off, money is oké, job i love and recently even met a women with whom I can see a bright future no strings attached
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/25 06:01 PM
1

Think other divorced men do understand but what can you say other then you will get through this, might as well speak a different language
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/25 09:31 PM
9

Calm Down. It has only been a couple off months. The first two years i was suicidal and barely surviving because i had kids. Then slowly i started rebuilding my life with friends, hobbies upgrading my work life etc etc. Many times i fell down again but always fought to get back up again. Today a little over 3 years past divorce i really feel my life is getting too be great again and i appreciate it more then i ever had
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/25 05:55 PM
5

Just wanted to let you know you are not alone, although the thoughts off self deletion have gone away. Been 3 years since my divorce and i feel like i am treading water with no place to go and nothing to look forward to. After all this time i am just exhausted (mentally) and on the edge off drowning but for the sake off my kids, mother and friends i keep going. Trying to keep an "everything is fine" face, but last week i failed and crumbled in front of a good friend.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/25 08:37 AM
2

My ex tried but i backfired and everything got better
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/25 04:41 PM
12

Sad thing is i wouldn't be lying
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/25 04:33 PM
5

3 years and counting. At this point i rather not life is good as it is
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/25 05:07 PM
2

Lol when my ex asked for divorce she said i could sleep on the couch. My response was i'll sleep in my bed, you can sleep in the same bed or the cough, but i am sleeping in my bed. Slept in the same bed for a couple off months till all the paperwork was done in order for me to move out
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/24 04:39 PM
7

Work, hobbies and best the feeling I got when I got everything under control. I have a good job that I enjoy, dedicated time for friends and hobbies, my house is relatively clean and when I have the kids we have time and budget to do some fun things every now and the. All in all smooth sailing. Took awhile but now everything is peacefully, heck I can even get along with my ex
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 12:45 PM
7

Gets better with time i am at the 2 year mark and mostly doing fine but still have a bad day on occasion. It's alright king you promised till death, considering that that is not something trivial don't expect the healing to be trivial.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 01:01 PM
18

You assume they are thinking? Oh brother are you in for a rough ride
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/24 11:30 AM
8

Picked mine up yesterday and noticed that my youngest was still wearing the clothes i dropped him off in a week ago. No they weren't washed and put back in rotation he had been wearing them the whole week. Seriously starting to consider getting a lawyer and fighting for full time
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/24 12:25 PM
1

Plenty off groups allow proxies (copies/prints of the cards not done by wizards, most likely your home printer). Every friday night we get together with +-12 people have a drink and a bite while slinging cards
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 04:15 PM
2

Yep i would although she hurt me when divorcing me, she hasn't been a horrible person to me and everything went fair so i don't hate her.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 01:19 AM
1

Kids have a school vacation this week and they are with me so we had a fun day. Went to see the ex to pick up some stuff from the kids. Didn't realize it was valentines day till later when i was playing some magic arena, didn't miss her and continued my game.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 01:17 AM
2

Why does it all have to be this black and white? Christianity does have it merits but why do people keep holding on to so much 'rules' from 2000 years ago? Using your own common sense can't be that bad can it? After all isn't that a gift given by god to be able to think for yourself? In my opinion. Try to be a good a human being, if needed look towards the scriptures for guidance. But that's about it
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/23 04:49 AM
39

During the marriage mine said she would never work again, especially not cleaning for a living. Guess what she does now, it involves a toilet brush and multiple bowls
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/23 11:17 PM
15

400k? Pussy should be lining up around the block
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/23 11:04 AM
1

Told my ex wife i would have the kids 50% off the time not less. Told her that was the hill i would be willing to die on. Take it and we figure it out, leave it and everything we build will go to the lawyers. That was it she agreed for 50%
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 10:06 PM
2

What is marriage besides a vow to love each other? You even say it don't you? In sickness and in health blablabla till death do us part. Tell me why do you need/want to have the state involved in this?
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 07:14 AM
3

But why isn't he around. Maybe because she divorced his ass because "I'm not happy"
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/23 10:16 AM
3

I am from europe so it may be different here but wouldn't you be liable for her when you don't divorce? If you got no hope of reconciling why not get it over with hasle or not
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/23 07:35 PM
2

Remember why you initiated. Now give it your all to get the life you want
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/23 09:05 PM
1

Yes it is manipulation. How you should have responded depends on the age off your kids. Anyhow you can't ignore these things
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/23 08:58 PM
10

Lol the AP has 5 kids? Wondering how long the flame will last. Either AP is smart enough that leaving his wife would probably be a dumb move. Or your stbx will hate what is left after he gets a divorce --> a guy with either no time or money or both for her.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/23 06:16 PM
6

I would become a coach if i had to do it all over again. You can have a lasting impact on a whole bunch of children's lives, but i wouldn't be responsible for bringing them into this fucked up world
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/23 07:11 PM
5

It's okay i survived and so will you, then its on to the next chapter stronger and wiser
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/23 11:17 PM
4

Feel you in march 2021 i lost my dad, in august 2021 i lost my dog and in october 2021 i was told she was divorcing me. Still healing but it is getting better
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/23 09:01 PM
3

Not to mention how much of your freedom the little rascals claim. I would advice OP not to have kids.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/23 08:07 AM
-1

A car? Really?
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/23 11:08 PM
2

50 to 60 years ago most teachers where men even in primary schools. Not saying it was better then but we have swung the pendulum in the opposite direction these day. I think i was raised in a happy medium where my teachers where about equally split between male/female, and i have good memories with both of them
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/23 07:34 PM
4

I was a provider for my. Meaning i would bring in the money, and i would be gone from home 4 months a year minimum. When my ex hit me with divorce i made it clear that this would stop in an instant, i want my kids at least 50% of the time even if that means all off us would be living on rise and bean ( it was for them that i was providing anyway). Anyway 50/50 is what we ended up with. I am showing up on there sport activities outside of my 50/50 as well. I do make significantly less as result a…
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/23 07:26 PM
2

Belgium for place of reference. Paid 1000€ for someone to help us navigate what we should have in writing an d for them to write down what we agree upon in a way that it would be legal. No conflict (doesn't mean i wanted the divorce) 2 kids.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/23 06:42 PM
2

I get the impression that i am turning from the monster to the rock in her life/mind. Sure i have my rough edges but i am not to blame anymore
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/23 06:29 PM
5

Lol my ex complained when i drank, yesterday when i saw her she offered me a beer
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/23 02:55 PM
3

Are these tests accurate enough to differentiate between you and your brother? Just wondering. Can't say i can relate i knew "my" oldest wasn't mine from the beginning since i met her mother when she was 3 months pregnant (bio dad didn't want anything to do with her). When we separated MY daughter was 11 (turned 13 this monday), told her mom she remains my daughter (you signed the papers), and hell will feel like a chilly winter holiday if you try something else.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 09:59 PM
5

I would think about letting the kids sleep with me, at least for starters and if they want to. Given their tender age it might give them some comfort especially in the early days. Anyway although consistency is great, think about your needs and the boys needs when they are with you.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/23 08:14 PM
9

She tried to for a while, but that didn't last long. Too much effort i guess. These days she sees about as much daylight as a vampire and only leaves the bat-cave when she has to
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/23 01:57 PM
0

Had the talk and she acknowledged that she didn't even call me because she knew it wasn't a possibility at the place i am at and that i wouldn't be down for it either way. She even acknowledged she kind off guild tripped her mother into allowing it. In response it told her to not push her luck, i get it teen years seeing how far she can go and such but still
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/23 11:06 PM
3

Well i told her i wouldn't do it but her house her rules. Seems she decided she is up for it apparently, which i find funny because she never liked having pets when we where together but okay. What bugs me is the many different things she seems to be coming to me for...advice, telling me what she has been up to, how her family is doing etc. Heck a couple off weeks ago she feel with her moped and was showing me her wounds before i realized she was standing there with her pants pulled down showing…
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/23 09:12 PM
4

Well she is getting the rabbits. Curious to see how it goes but right now i am feeling sorry for the rabbits
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/23 07:20 PM
16

Nope what pets she keeps at her mothers and who is taking care off them isn't part off my ring
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/23 06:14 PM
11

Wow affair/new love fog as thick as yello
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/23 04:57 PM
9

Not really no. I have been called all the names/types/whatever you see in here al the time narcissist/controlling/manipulative etc and i know i am not, i ain't gonna proof her right by trying to have a hand in what goes on in her house. If the basic needs of my kids are met it is fine by me, and i got no reason to doubt that she is a decent mother always was. Sometimes she just gives me the feeling that she still want me to be a big part off her life, which i don't understand
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/23 04:50 PM
20

All i can give you is a bearhug and tell you you are not alone
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/23 08:37 AM
2

Not really sure on that one, depends on how far she is willing to. But it is your place of residence so you should be there as soon as possible.If you think you can convince her that you want to be there for the kids but will sleep in the spare bedroom go ahead and try that, otherwise i suggest a lawyer since they will be familiar with this situation and your local laws. Really not kidding she can make it really difficult for you claiming you abandoned her and the kids. And if she wants to drive…
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/23 03:08 AM
1

Yeah there is a reason at least if you don't want to be a every other weekend dad.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/23 02:27 AM
9

She is trying to trap you for abandonment. Get your ass back home. On top off that start recording as much as possible, find a lawyer and prepare for war. I got a feeling things are about to get ugly
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/23 02:05 AM
6

Yep he is an ahole and drove her away. Or tries to spare his feelings and give him some BS he won't believe but will wreck his brain for months to come.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/23 01:50 AM
11

Keep it to the coparenting stuff. Everything else serves no purpose
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/23 01:35 AM
3

First thing you get is a vasectomy. Preferably done by a butcher with a rusty hatchet and a bad aim.POS abandoning your own child
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 09:57 PM
4

You go to a counselor expecting them to help you show her reason. Woman don't do reason or at least not very well, they run on emotion and reason seldom wins from emotion. You have a better change of pointing out a rainbow in the sky to a blind person and expecting them to see it.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/23 01:34 PM
5

Even something without intelligence artificial or not probably could have told you that
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/23 01:54 AM
3

even though I've suggested that she take the kids to these activities on her days ??? When my kids are with my ex it is her responsibility to take them and i won't be there unless it something special. When my ex asks if i can take them because something came up, sure no problem.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/23 03:10 PM
2

buy out happens one way or the other. If not able or willing the house gets sold.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/23 01:33 AM
2

I don't assume he is happy there but hitting a mental wall that is very hard to break. Depending on how you look at it this is a good. If you are serious about him, this is like the biggest sign that he is serious about you but you'll have to be patient and very gently tear that wall down with him. He wants the pussy but wants the whole of you more and that is scary because that is what might get him hurt.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/23 08:05 PM
1

I think he is so scared he might crap his pants. Scared to have sex and not be able to perform and/or not living up to your expectations. But most off all scared of falling even deeper into love with you and have his hearth broken again. And i can't blame him. Would rather have my right arm amputated without sedation then to have my hearth broken again
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/23 06:41 PM
9

Wouldn't surprise me. When she told me it was over she wanted custody and me being every other weekend. I told her 50/50 or i'll blow all our savings on a lawyer. Now 50/50 is in place CS is in effect etc, i find myself having no problems to get the kids for extra days, i guess they are a burden for her and she doesn't have a new toy
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/22 09:34 PM
3

It's okay dude we have all been there. Those who say they haven't are probably lying just as hard to themselves as others. Cry till your eyes hurt and shout into the wind till your voice gives out.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/22 04:01 PM
2

for me its painting miniatures
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/22 11:11 PM
3

Sure and they are great friends with santa claus
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/22 05:27 PM
2

50/50 but we kind are not to strict on it. And since I have more paid leave then her I often ask for some extra days so I can get some extra activities with the kids in
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/22 07:33 AM
1

Yep I think this is it. Sucks that I can do nothing about/with except keep my distance
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/22 08:54 AM
1

Nah I truly don't believe that we moved passed the point where we hurt each other. Plus I don't think she has any idea I am seeing this. In the end it doesn't matter I can handle it
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/22 09:37 PM
4

Stay strong can't be eating bullets when you got kids
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/22 08:51 AM
4

Well it is tragic, I just never wanted to be an actor. Will see what the future brings got my kids to worry about, thank god we aren't fighting.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/22 12:10 AM
2

Yeah probably have to talk with her about it since i see it in discord and we use that as our main communication method
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/22 10:05 PM
2

I am think from a certain age onward it doesn't really matter that the party is not on the same day as the actual birthday
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/22 06:43 AM
1

Well that's easy make the exchange day anything but a weekend day
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/22 06:02 AM
3

I am sorry but what do you mean with alternate weekends? Not trying to be arrogant here, i just think i don't understand because english isn't my main language. I switch the kids on sunday so 1 week i'll have friday and saturday for myself and pick up the kids on sunday afternoon. Next week i'll have the kids on friday and saturday and drop them off at their mothers on sunday afternoon. You want a whole weekend for yourself switch exchange days any other day that isn't a weekend
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/22 10:00 PM
4

Yes it does. Almost same situation but married 10 years kids 12 and 9. Once i moved to my own place things got better, little sad in the beginning when my kids weren't here but the peace and cleanliness made it so worth while.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/22 01:38 PM
5

Eh we are in Europe so things are different here. First it meant that she was basically required to get at job since she is only 35. Then i let her be the legal guardian of the kids, the main benefits from that is that it would raise her pay from like 1500/1600 to 1800/1900, then she would receive childcare money from the government. Lastly the kids spend 50% off their time with me. So i pay her 50€ CC a month (about 2% of my take home pay) but she has to pay the school bills. Financially it isn…
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/22 12:55 PM
7

Lol the sex part is the opposite of mine. I would be happy with once a week. I don't wat to be pounding the same pussy everyday. Especially not after she gained 40 Lbs and has been wearing the same yoga pants and shirt for the last 3 days, hell i can smell the fish market from all across town
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/22 12:46 AM
3

She needs to get closer to the six figure making chad, and he ain't in this blue collar town
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/22 07:51 AM
3

I know it hurts but contact a lawyer and file for divorce. Nothing good can come from the situation as it currently is. After you filed for divorce maybe things can change. But only if you let her work for it. She has to stop the affair, she has to suggest couples counseling and so fort. If she does this you can agree to go to counseling with her but don't stop the divorce procedure and don't show that you are eager to take her back. You are the prize and she has to work for it, if that isn't th…
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/22 08:08 PM
15

What she stated and what she is doing don't match up. How would sleeping with somebody else help in saving the marriage?
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/22 03:14 PM
16

You still think she is willing to try and save the marriage? Or is she keeping you as a back up for when this monkey branch might break?
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/22 02:44 PM
2

Lol twice a week after 10 years. I was the dude an twice a month was sufficient for me, not the ex though she would have loved it every day
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/22 07:33 PM
17

Ignore, ignore ignore
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/22 04:48 PM
9

After she gave you these terms what has you thinking there is an ounce off sense in her?
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/22 06:53 PM
44

You aren't paying them to have sex with you. You pay them to leave after you had sex
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/22 06:25 AM
5

Depends on your finances and how willing you and a potential house mate are
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/22 07:21 PM
5

Same for me. Could have meant the difference but alas. I'll be alright though hearthbroken. Fear she will find out her live is even more shit and i am no longer the one to blame
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/22 03:49 PM
6

I am 15 years your senior but hats off to you King
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/22 09:31 PM
4

Exactly. So if he wants his kids he should pursue 50/50 dollars are easier to come by then dignity
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/22 06:02 PM
1

Did they ask you to do something about it? Because their mother wasn't willing to change the arrangement? If they did did you explain that the only way was through the legal system and that that route is not fun for anyone? Still get a feeling it was between you and your ex and you thought you had the upper hand. Your girls decided they didn't want to be your weapon
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/22 05:42 PM
5

There’s a pretty good chance that in practice I will get kids outside of my designated visitation time, so I don’t worry too much about being out of their lives. What makes you say that? If she said that why does she want every other weekend?
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/22 05:33 PM
1

What were you trying to accomplish? They lived with you 9 months out off a year? Did they need to stay at their moms the other 3 months or did they choose to do so? If they we forced to stay at their moms did they complain about it? The way you describe it here it had nothing to do with the girls. And everything to do with you but it blew up in your face
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/22 05:31 PM
1

Have 2 of my own and was/am a stepfather to 2 kids from the age of 2 till current 14 years old. Found babies easy
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/22 04:00 PM
3

Moving out this weekend. Yes i would love to reconcile but would still want to live separate and date for 1-2 years if we survive that maybe we could co habituate once more
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/22 02:52 PM
3

What is hard about a 6 month old child? They won't become any easier as long as they haven't reached maturity.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/22 08:37 PM
2

Having papers drawn up on Wednesday and then it will be alright. Belgium not US
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/22 10:25 PM
8

My soon to be ex wanted that scenario as well. Told her nope it is going to get sold you can either agree or we go to court and lawyers are expensive. We sold the house no lawyers
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/22 04:23 PM
2

Keep your cool and try to keep it friendly 2 months should be ok. Been doing it for 5 months now although there is no infidelity it isn't easy, will be moving out in the next 2 weeks
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/22 01:21 PM
3

Was on the both of us. Difference was i wanted to fix it while she said f that
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/22 08:18 PM
11

I am the prize
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/22 11:22 PM
3

wish i had some advice for you but i am in such a confused state that i don't
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/22 06:02 AM
2

Well she is going to a therapist but only starting next week. She couldn't wait to start the divorce process and our house is on the verge off being sold
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/22 04:30 PM
2

Think that the problem was more that she didn't keep up the effort to make her desirable appearance wise. No nice clothes, make up or even washing more then once a week.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/22 04:27 PM
2

Well I was attracted to her at some point. By the time we got married I think love did the trick and it wasn't as bad as the recent years
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/22 04:25 PM
2

Nope she took really good care off herself. Really glad I could type it out here and get some feedback. It contributes to learning from who I am and what is important to me
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/22 04:22 PM
1

Well I told her that if she wanted more she should make me desire her. Don't think she knew how. And I didn't figure it out until now what it was that put me off
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/22 09:44 AM
1

She is divorcing me. There are other reasons as well but her not getting enough sex is a big one
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/22 08:55 AM
0

Don't? Well marriage wasn't bad, how we are splitting isn't awful either. Sure it hurts because I do still love her, and yes selling our house, making arrangements for the kids etc isn't exactly fun either. But we aren't fighting and the financial part is very reasonable only will need to pay 50€ or so in child support for the two off them. I love her and am not looking forward to single life. I think in time I will get into a new relationship, if I would still cohabitate I don't know
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/22 08:40 AM
5

Feels like I am learning something new every couple off days during this divorce. Things that I have to do better if I am ever in a relationship again
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/22 08:14 AM
6

Wish I knew. Maybe because her figure changed. Personal hygiene is involved. And it is not that she does anything to make herself attractive in sloppy housewife mode year round
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/22 08:10 AM
5

Well she cut the cord already so didn't have a say in it. Wasn't unhappy so I didn't/don't want to divorce. Well maybe in time it will be for the best
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/22 08:05 AM
6

Almost 50% off marriages end in divorce. If you went skydiving and they told you the parachute only opens half the time, would you go? I don't like the odds. See how they respond too that
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/22 07:43 AM
3

Well she is getting a lousy deal. We have about 60-70k equity in the house, CS will be minimal under 150€ a month. And she had to start working again after 11 years off being a stay at home mom, filling grocery store isles
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/22 06:00 AM
7

This friday. She told me 3 months ago that she wanted a divorce, was not in love with me anymore etc. For those 3 months i did the pick me dance and threw away my dignity. Hell i even offered her a chance on Wednesday when we where at mediation but she would have non off it even after she learned that child support will be pretty meager. Friday we went to the realtor to put our house on the market. When it was time to sign i looked at her to see if she showed any sign off hesitation, by the time…
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/22 10:44 PM
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