Dead bedroom.

eastbranch02 · 2022-03-17T08:01:07+00:00

This was a big part of my story. We had so much in common but I wasn't really attracted to her, and she turned out to be a prude in bed. So she didn't ever want sex and I wasn't very attracted to her anyway. It sounds like it's time to cut the cord so you can both move on and be happier. Might as well do it ASAP.

Duchesst · 2022-03-17T08:08:10+00:00

Why aren't you attracted to her?

Islandboy2000 · 2022-03-17T14:12:38+00:00

I am not attracted to her physically. Haven't been for years maybe even from before our marriage

Am I to understand you were NOT attracted to her prior to marriage? …Then why did you marry her?

CaliDude75 · 2022-03-17T21:15:26+00:00

I can relate, but I can say I no longer love her anymore, if I ever did. She’s narcissistic, OCD, demanding and conditional. Spontaneous acts of affection or caring are simply not in her DNA. I think that’s been the case all along, but it’s only been within the past few years that it’s become unavoidably apparent.

It’s kind of a “chicken-or-the-egg” scenario as to whether the lack of intimacy was the cause of our DB, or an effect of the toxicity, negativity and total lack of reciprocity, but it’s too late at this point. The decision has been made. I’m moving on.

Gunslinger1925 · 2022-03-18T02:26:45+00:00

Wish I had an answer for it. For the better part of my marriage, my wife showed zero interest in sex. Refused to do anything about it - IE checking hormone levels, depression, etc. I actually talked to an attorney in 2019 about a divorce.

Then covid hits. She suddenly has this newfound libido. I enjoyed it at first as I wasn’t super exhausted. I was teaching remote the rest of the school year. Even got a vasectomy. Then the new year starts. My libido drops. It might rise every so often, but I’ve pissed her off on more than one occasion for “not being in the mood”. She’s even brought it up as a jab. I asked why a woman not being in the mood is “sitcom material”, but a man not being there and it’s “evil”.

It’s to the point where I’m not even remotely interested in her a lot of the times. I got after her a few weeks back when I complained about the crap she let pile up in the family room from her Girl Scout troop shit. She didn’t like that. I didn’t like seeing it ever day, nor did I like having to step over it. I cleaned it one in 2019. Spent three hours doing it.

I still like spending time with her. We have our tv shows we watch, but she’s always been suing games on her phone. My phone is normally down. My hand is on her lap, not the other way around.

So I don’t know if I’m falling out of love with her or what. There’s no one on the side, and only woman I’ve remotely held an interest in is a 3rd grade teacher at the school, whom we share a lot of likes. But I have no idea if she’s interested.

It’s reaching a point where I’m seriously considering looking to teach in one of the bush towns of Alaska for a year or two. But I’m afraid I know how that’ll turn out. I also can’t afford the remaining three years of my Chapt-13 and a divorce.

Sorry to hijack the thread. I didn’t mean for to get this long, but it’s been on my mind lately. A lot.

Title	Dead bedroom.
Author	Duchesst
Upvotes	15
Comments	25
Date	March 17, 2022 7:26 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/tg4k2l/dead_bedroom/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/dead-bedroom.1107158 https://theredarchive.com/post/1107158

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