~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 6 | Feels like we've stolen our son's childhoodI feel this. So sad for my kids. Until high school my brother and I were home with my mom after school every day at 2pm until my dad came home from work at 7:15, then had a nice evening and dinner as a family. Now my little girls are with strangers from 8am to 6pm in preschool and elementary school. The biggest lie women tell themselves is that the children will be happier. Yeah if there’s abuse and constant fighting the yes. But to go from a peaceful house and being with their mom most of the d… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/07/26 04:26 AM |
| 1 | Men who feel the divorce came out of the blue, what kind of conversation do you wish your wife had with you and how far in advance do you wish she’d had it?He’s not white knighting. He’s right. If more women were like this lady, we’d have far less broken homes. It should be encouraged. She’s trying to save her family (and probably save her husband snd children a world of emotional and financial pain) and you want to turn her away… because… subreddit rules? Stupid. You know what kind of advice she would get in women’s forums. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/07/26 03:11 AM |
| 1 | Men who feel the divorce came out of the blue, what kind of conversation do you wish your wife had with you and how far in advance do you wish she’d had it?I would not put a date on it. And I would definitely not bring this up in the middle or right after a fight. This is a conversation to have when things are calm and seemingly good or at least peaceful. Anything else and it can be written off as an emotional high. “I feel myself pulling away. Every day I feel further from us. We are heading towards divorce if things don’t turn around permanently. I don’t know when but that’s the direction we’re going in. You and me, our relationship is the founda… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/07/26 03:06 AM |
| 6 | I love my wife with my whole heart, but she wants a divorce.Yep. Mine said she wanted to be nice during the first conversation. Then she went full demon. They don’t need to even say those words unless they are already planning on being evil. Being nice would have been trying counseling first. Or literally any other solution. Definitely another man. Leaving you for nobody doesn’t happen without attempts to fix the marriage. When there’s another man it’s always “my mind is made up and there’s nothing we can do to change it” | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/07/26 02:26 PM |
| 6 | I love my wife with my whole heart, but she wants a divorce.I imagine you’re here because you have nowhere to go: every divorce women’s group is about leaving your husband to find yourself. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/07/26 02:21 PM |
| 1 | Once admiration and love is gone it is gone.He’s not claiming how it SHOULD be (what you wrote), but just claiming how it very very often IS (what he wrote). Sure, it’s not the man’s responsibility morally, but does what does that righteousness do for you in the face of losing half your life’s work and missing out on half or more of your kids’ childhoods? Don’t bee a pushover, but don’t wager your life on a fight nature either. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/07/26 01:14 AM |
| 5 | Discussion about my life?while i agree she is monkey branching, if you had to "I sold my $4000 PC for $2000 just to get to Idaho and stay with my uncle." then you probably shouldn't have been spending $900 on fireworks, no? odd use of money if you don't have $2,000 to your name to fly to Idaho. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/07/26 03:26 AM |
| 1 | I'm checked out of my marriageShe can’t cry in an email | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/07/26 01:20 PM |
| 1 | Need adviceI'm gonna go against the grain here and say there are 3 good reasons to get it if you can: Having evidence was beneficial for me emotionally. It alleviates a lot of self blame. If I had not succeeded in getting my proof, I'd have ruminated far longer that I may have let the angelic mother of my children slip away. Knowing for a fact that she is a low value trashy woman is worth its weight in gold for personal recovery. Letting her know I know.... haven't done it ...yet. Still figuring out the ri… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/07/26 11:31 PM |
| 0 | Never deleting your textsEveryone says affairs have no bearing on anything except that 50% of wasteful spending on the affair itself can be clawed back. this is a MASSIVELY criminal underselling of what affair evidence can actually provide in a divorce. While it's not always a 1:1, infidelity is highly correlated with narcissism, and narcissists hate public shame more than anything. Admissible evidence of a trashy extra marital affair making its way into an actual trial — in front of a judge, many other people, and also… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/07/26 02:52 PM |
| 17 | As a woman… I just wanted to say I’m sorry and I see youbest thing you can do is as a woman is be the lone voice of reason online and in real life against the sickness pervading too many women's communities that supports and cheers on the sentiment of "I'm not happy and I don't really have a good reason why, I've tried nothing and I'm all out of ideas, so instead of me being unhappy, I'm gonna just take my manageable unhappiness and just transfer and magnify it tenfold to my children and husband with a divorce." | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/07/26 02:35 PM |
| 1 | She knows.probably the best move is to: - First confirm the location of the passports. - Then, when you are physically closer to them, and she has your full attention in a conversation, ask her how she feels about where the children will live. 3a. If she says back at your hometown, then say, “okay, I’m glad to hear that we agree. I’ll go get the passports now for sake-keeping until that agreement is official.” And then go retrieve them, calmly and keep them on your body until you can secure them temporari… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/07/26 03:26 PM |
| 2 | She knows.the ‘Dark Forest’ of multinational divorce | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/07/26 03:12 PM |
| 3 | Pettiness of the spouseyes its a real life video game she built for you. hah. tell her how much you enjoy the little challenges and you actually look forward to her little puzzles — they will go away in an instant. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/07/26 02:42 AM |
| 2 | Time changes allThat’s a good point. Need to remember how much worse it can be and is for some other good men. And especially important to remember it if it helps you be present, loving, and alive with the child right in front of you. But also on the flip, pain is not a scale or a competition. It’s more binary. The trauma of losing your family unit and being divorce raped financially, sometimes for years is something we all experienced and no matter how high or low the severity of the burns, it sucks all the sa… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/07/26 01:46 AM |
| 2 | Help needed, do I stay or do I go?I haven’t made eye contact with my ex since she did me and the children dirty. Can’t bring myself to. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/07/26 01:14 AM |
| 2 | Help needed, do I stay or do I go?why do u think it will haunt her? | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/07/26 12:37 AM |
| 6 | How do I get over the thought of another man with my kids?same. doesn't matter that its the 4th man since me. they don't even remember the first. but they love every new chump that shows up. i cannot fathom dating a single mom when not having kids of my own. i cant barely stomach the idea even as a single dad myself. so it stands to reason that any single, never married guy is likely going to be a dude that has no respect for himself, which, as mentioned above will make her lose respect for him, rinse and repeat. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/07/26 12:35 AM |
| 3 | I thought my year long nightmare was finally over…ah one inch from the finish line, now back at the start. i feel that. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/06/26 09:53 PM |
| 8 | Father’s Day aloneIs this whole “don’t worry, fall on your spear, the truth will come out eventually” narrative something the women have spread online as a disinfo campaign? Similar to bears spreading internet rumors that your best chance to survive an encounter with them is to lie down and pretend you’re dead? | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/06/26 09:18 PM |
| 3 | Borderline Parental AlienationMy SAHW ex who cheated and then asked for divorce made it obvious she initiated it, by dating and introducing boyfriends immediately, while I was clearly heartbroken. Kids aren’t idiots. She has resorted to telling the kids it was because I didn’t help enough around the house (specifically because I didn’t wash the floors or clean the toilets once a month, the one chore out of dozens that we didn’t split). Not sure if that’s a good thing or not. My younger daughter is a neat freak now. Could be … | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/06/26 04:21 PM |
| 4 | How soon is ‘too soon’ to start ‘exploits’ after telling your husband you no longer wish to be married to him?If you care about someone in the slightest like you would care about a friend or family member, you would take your time until you thought they had properly processed and accepted the divorce before adding that heartbreak on top of the first. If you were selfish or hated that person and gave no shits about them, then you would do it immediately after the D word or even before. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/06/26 03:15 AM |
| 3 | Can you men remind me not to beg for her back? The urge is strong to ask her to come back.I’ve said this before, but don’t beat yourself up over the previous begging. You will always be able to say you begged for her to keep the family together. You tried your best. She will never be able to say daddy didn’t care or try. Begging doesn’t work but then again playing hard to get as they are walking out the door has only a hair of a better chance of working, but that single percentage point is not worth losing the moral high ground. So you did good by begging. Your ex wife knows. Any add… | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/06/26 12:51 AM |
| 2 | I'm a divorced single mother of 5 year old kid. Looking to turn over a new leaf in lifeIf this post — and the response by motor-hat-3061 — aren’t both against the rules, then we need to add a few more rules. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/06/26 09:20 PM |
| 1 | Going from having a wife and helping raise her kids to being 31 and single..........On top of which, you may get the ultimate revenge in 5-10 years when they are older and prefer spending time with you, your new wife, and your new kids (maybe even as babysitters) to being at home with nutso grandma, pushover mama, and their shitty new stepdad. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/06/26 09:15 PM |
| 1 | Going from having a wife and helping raise her kids to being 31 and single..........i don't think you need to detach 100%... just an 'uncle' now. periodic love and direction, but no say in how they are brought up or major decisions. soft power. they love you and they will be hurt if you disappear from their lives forever, but you also have to protect your ability to move forward. you might find that these kids will consider you as their main father figure no matter who shows up afterwards... even if you are seeing them once every couple months. If and when she or her new man pu… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/06/26 09:11 PM |
| 1 | Going from having a wife and helping raise her kids to being 31 and single..........Oof. This a tough one. "You can see them anytime you want" is such a loaded statement. She is giving you permission — because you have no rights unless you adopted them officially. Her permission can be revoked at any time. You're in a lose-lose scenario. If you keep seeing them, you cripple yourself from moving on and possibly starting your own family with your own bio children, and you STILL might get the REAL boot later when she finds a new guy who doesn't want you coming around and spending … | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/06/26 06:58 PM |
| 2 | Did your (ex)wife’s friends lead her towards divorce?Yup | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/06/26 01:01 AM |
| 3 | Did your (ex)wife’s friends lead her towards divorce?The mental load is real. It’s just that too many SAHMs can’t see past their own nose to realize that there is an equal or greater amount of mental load being the sole provider. The job itself may have insane mental load. Managing clients, subordinates, subcontractors, office politics, creativity, growth strategies, pitches, raises, fear of performance reviews, yada yada yada. This is DEEP analytical and often competition based mental load at work and in the industry… being better than your colle… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/06/26 12:58 AM |
| 1 | Controlling narcissistic wife tricked me into living together again.act like you completlet forgot the previous convo bcuase youve been low on sleep and try to have the same conversation again, but this time record her threatening to lie about DV | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/06/26 09:15 PM |
| 2 | M[37] “blindsided” with divorce from F[39]youre right. my bad. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/06/26 12:42 AM |
| 1 | M[37] “blindsided” with divorce from F[39]i didnt feel attacked. did u? kudos, and it sucks she coudlnt change even when u prefaced the convo that way | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/06/26 10:02 PM |
| 1 | M[37] “blindsided” with divorce from F[39]if it sucked so much, why not just OFFER at the start of your vent session "hey {wifeName}, i got some stuff going on that i just gotta get off my chest. i dont need solutions from you, just a understanding ear and maybe even a hug" yes, the listener can also offer the response style choice AFTER they've heard the monologue, but its much more efficient for the sharer to just communicate their need upfront — which has the added benefit of determining HOW the listener listens... 'solution mode' me… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/06/26 05:08 PM |
| 1 | What to do? Just Bought a House and Found Out Wife is Cheating a Month after Moving in.kids, no kids? | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/05/26 07:13 AM |
| 2 | I posted a couple days ago that I could only feel anger, well the sadness has hit and it’s so much worseits gonna take a while, but eventually you will realize that while the sweetness of raising kids with their bio mother, and grandchildren with their bio grandma is a loss, it can actually be replaced by something different and perhaps even better. would you rather babysit your grandkids and raise your child with a bio mom who things were just okay at best with? or raise those kids and go on vacations and stuff with a woman who truly enjoys her time with you and is ride or die. they are out there… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/05/26 11:19 PM |
| 13 | M[37] “blindsided” with divorce from F[39]yep, that's the final fallback script when they literally have nothing they can complain about to justify the as of yet unrevealed affair. "im divorcing you because you tried to solve my problems instead of parroting back what i said and saying what i really needed, which is omg that must be so hard" Shes working overtime to hide whats really going on and simulataneously make you feel like it was your fault. its the final fuck you of a selfish monster... not that its any consolation, but this st… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/05/26 11:14 PM |
| 1 | The Endfamous last words | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/05/26 02:35 PM |
| 0 | The End"—and feels that doesn’t want to have sex with anyone ever" offered up without you even asking usually means she already is banging someone and thinks this is a clever way to put you off the trail. Combine that with new friends and boozing. This one seems pretty cookie cutter unfortunately. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/05/26 06:10 AM |
| 3 | I’m a lesbian and this sub is a breath of fresh airdespite telling me she did not want to date again for a long time and how this relationship messed her up so she doesn’t want to be in a new relationship for a while, etc. They all seem to say this — mine did — and it means they already have someone in their eye, or have already had them in their bed. And the reason it' such a tell (in hindsight), is that it shows that it's on their mind and they are concerned about narrative. When mine first mentioned divorce, her seeing others was the furthest… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/05/26 07:47 PM |
| 2 | Am I being unreasonable asking for jewellery to be valued during separation?dont know what the law is, but logically i would think that if for any reason at all you think she might sell some of it, then it is marital property, the same goes for anything you could sell — gift or not. There is no hers and mine in divorce. Only ours. 50-50. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/05/26 01:49 PM |
| 1 | Things will get betterno one is coming to save you. its true it may get better or it may get worse. but whatever the outcome its in your hands and no one else's. nothing is pre-written. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/05/26 10:58 PM |
| 1 | Help figuring out what she meantWork “at a” Starbucks sounded more like he’s remote. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/04/26 05:25 PM |
| 1 | Life feels manic a lot of the timeme as well. the burnt out, manic no control feeling got so bad my career suffered, and I got short with my kids. was hard to focus at work with divorce related forums like this always a click away. ended up chasing all the wrong side projects to avoid the computer, and lost revenue as a result. further regessive behavior spiraling any time there was a communication flare up with the ex or she put herself before the children. i ended up programming a daily planner app for myself just to keep myse… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/04/26 05:31 PM |
| 3 | Ex wife's' current Boyfriend called me to ask about "My Side of the Story"thats exactly the perfect thing to say without saying anything. "if you even felt like you had to reach out to me it sounds like you are just looking for confirmation and its not appropriate fo me to do that no matter how i feel. best of luck". and if he presses for more info, decline. the prior is vague enough she can't justifiably kick up much of a storm. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/04/26 07:34 PM |
| -1 | Let’s get to the point - did she leave us because of money, sex or boredomregardless of what they say, women leave because of 1 reason and 1 reason only. loss of physical desire. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/03/26 01:20 PM |
| 1 | Storm is comingplaybook. all the same. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/03/26 05:33 AM |
| 1 | Should I get a divorceit will get 10x worse once there are children | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/03/26 04:25 AM |
| 4 | I have friends, a job, and a full life. I've also never felt more alone. Is this normal?Yeah sucks most for the kids. Don’t know how people can be so poor at communicating their dissatisfaction and that the marriage is on thin ice, and then either cheat or divorce without discussion. It’s like fine, you hate me. But for the sake of everyone else deeply invested in this, please make it known before you pull the trigger so there’s at least a chance to save it | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/03/26 03:30 AM |
| 4 | The regret is unbearableBeing withholding is what made your marriage last as long as it did. Kept her chasing. Had you been kind the whole time she would have left you 5-10 years ago. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/02/26 11:32 PM |
| 21 | [UPDATE] Alimony goes poofOn the flip side. I like that alimony is a mitigation against cohabitation. The only good thing about it. If I’m in a better place, financially by the time alimony runs out I may just offer to extend it. Worth every dollar to keep my girls safe from the type of men she never runs background checks on but definitely should. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/02/26 07:27 AM |
| 8 | Am I Back In This?lose lose. if you listen and admit to shortcomings, shes' gone and has her narrative and divorce is justified. if you use logic and point out how irrational her feelings and thoughts are, then you support her narrative that you don't understand her / gaslighter / blah blah and divorce is justified. the third option is gray rock. most men say that in these times its best: give her nothing to spin, and its the first step towards self respect etc. my personal opinion is that you have to ask yoursel… | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/02/26 03:21 AM |
| 2 | Social media has destroyed everything in this worldwe care about others divorcing for stupid reasons because our love of humanity, the well-being of children, and a better society extends beyond just our own families | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/02/26 12:43 AM |
| 1 | Ex Wants Help w/ TaxesNot enough info on what she did to you, or you to her, or your financial situation. Perhaps you can find out how much she would stand to save from it and just pay her that in cash as a short term loan, coordinated via email so there’s a paper trail. That way you don’t have to give up a right that’s was decided upon. And now she’s in your debt (most people avoid folks they owe money to and are late paying back, so that’s a bonus to keep her away), and you can also throw it in her face that she ow… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/02/26 06:15 AM |
| 5 | I feel like need someone to tell me not to date/fling/etc.you're not a hypocrite whatsoever. you're both moving on, fine, but bringing someone else into your shared home is very different from doing your thing while abroad and/or going to someone else's home. she likely *preferred* to have him come to the house rather than go to his — so as to rub your nose in it (it takes less than 60 seconds to clean and use a paper towel to dry glasses and put them back in the cabinet). what you're feeling is disrespect to the memory of your relationship and sanctit… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/02/26 06:56 AM |
| 1 | How to move onyep, and in the reverse direction... looking around at children and grandchildren, and maybe even great grandchildren one day... a dozen or more people... and holding each other surrounded by all that... it can be recreated i suppose to a degree (i considered my great grandfathers wife to be my great grandmother)... but it would just hit SO much different if it was a "look at this big beautiful family we made and life weve had"... rather than "look at this big beautiful family my ex and i made a… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/02/26 03:02 AM |
| 9 | How to move onI loved my ex very much, but I got over that quickly once I realized the depths of the treachery. 2 years on the thing that makes me sad and leaves me kind of directionless has nothing to do with her specifically. It’s the end idea that our children will always carry this little broken corner of their hearts with them. And that even if I find someone else to spend my life with, it will never be the full vision. I won’t be able to sit with her and think these are ‘our’ children that are growing u… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/02/26 09:01 PM |
| 3 | What am I not thinking/planning for?I’m sure then she claimed financial abuse lol | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/02/26 02:34 PM |
| 9 | Struggling with the decision of whether or not I should divorce my chronically underemployed wife.Two ways to deal with this: Option 1.) 12-MONTH EXIT STRATEGY Phase 1: If she doesn’t suspect you considering divorce, then execute a suspicion-less, zero-paper trail, 4 month transition to a lower-paying job (“despite your best efforts”), 50% of your current income Phase 2: Over 4 months, take on some extra debt to cover bills/rent that your previous salary used to cover cleanly. Encourage her to get a better job, explain you are going into debt, then in the last six weeks of this get pushy abo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/02/26 03:06 PM |
| 5 | I thought I was building a family but I was surviving a relationship.I thought our little corner of Reddit was too small to be infiltrated but AI has responded to AI. Bummer. Now I have to be on my guard here to read everything through that filter. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/01/26 12:20 PM |
| 5 | Staying in an unhappy marriage for my childGonna go against the grain here, and ask if there is any path at all to get back to how it was in the beginning? Of course, as others have mentioned, no child wants to grow up in a house with fighting parents and in a decade of tension. But there is a third option better than tension or divorce. Fixing the relationship. Have you really tried everything? A romantic trip? Therapy? Working on yourself? Doing more around the house? Really asked AND listened to what is going on with her? With the exc… | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/01/26 06:54 AM |
| 5 | Complicated Divorce Ahead - Advice?My advice is that you don’t want to be the one to fire the first shots that start a multi year or even decade long war, but you don’t wanna be caught with your pants around your ankles either. That means that you should have your ducks in a row and have all your paperwork and documentation ready to go if she doesn’t play ball or does a heel turn at the last second. Up till that moment, you operate on best intentions and benefit the doubt that she will be doing so as well. No matter what you thin… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/01/26 07:03 AM |
| 2 | Second DivorceYou can definitely find someone who wants to the traditional option. That’s the easy part. But you are also setting yourself up to lose half your money, and half of your time with your kids through no fault of your own, just because she got bored of the same dick after 5-10 years. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/01/26 07:33 PM |
| 9 | Second DivorceYou can pay a surrogate to birth children for you and just skip the third divorce altogether and get your family. And then after the kids are born you can find a temporary step mom. And when she eventually divorces you, you don’t lose any custody | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/01/26 01:43 PM |
| 3 | Ex-wife’s boyfriend loves to talk shit and taunt.Illegal business? I think there’s your answer. Book a consult with a criminal attorney on how to get this guy nabbed and do it by the book. Send him to jail instead of yourself. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/01/26 11:55 PM |
| 13 | Where to meet women - Hot YogaHe wasn’t implying the post was fake. He was saying flat chested is better than implants. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/01/26 12:37 AM |
| 2 | Dating a divorced man who keeps pulling away – looking for perspective from divorced menWell, then you are battling a life and gender philosophy. You don’t need to prove your goodness and loyalty as it’s irrelevant. Nothing a person says or acts like in the first 6-12 months is “real.” If you love this man you need to kill the idea about women, not about you specifically. Good luck though. Likely most of the anecdotes you give him of happy, devoted longterm married couples who grow old together …. will be that of previous generations, both due to there only being able to even have … | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/01/26 02:49 PM |
| 8 | Dating a divorced man who keeps pulling away – looking for perspective from divorced menDepends on how the marriage ended. If he was blindsided or cheated on he, will likely oscillate back and forth from believing he chose the wrong woman for his first marriage, to believing all women are like this and you will eventually cheat on him and/or leave him no matter how wonderful your honeymoon phase feels right now, and regardless of how devoted perfect of a partner he is to you. It’s hard for men to believe that if the person they built a family with and would have taken a bullet for … | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/01/26 01:36 PM |
| 3 | Current relationship & compatible goalsthat’s so fucking stupid. laws need to change. Even if both adults agree it’s impossible to do as I said. at least you can tell her you looked into whether it was possible to do it as I laid it out and found out it’s not possible. You have little ones and probably an exwife so moving states probably isn’t an option…. I think your best bet at this point is to spend time opening her eyes to the nature of women to dry up after a wedding (regardless of whether her partner is perfect or not) and the … | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/01/26 01:40 PM |
| 7 | Signs she is cheating?Don’t worry she might, but KNOW she will, eventually. And make peace with that via never committing 100% of your heart to her. She will sense you’ve only given 70% of your heart which will make it her life’s mission to get that last 30%, ironically decreasing the likelihood of cheating (or at least delaying it far longer). | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/01/26 01:00 PM |
| 2 | Current relationship & compatible goalsOffer religious but not governmental marriage. Church wedding, but no contracts signed, no forms filled out for the state. She gets her wedding and her validation in front of family and friends (and God if that’s her thing), you get the not tying yourself to someone financially and her implicit knowledge that you can walk at any time without any repercussions if she deadBedrooms you a few months after the wedding. … in fact, you can sign one contract actually… one that says this is not a legally… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/01/26 12:42 PM |
| 1 | I need advice on protecting myself from false accusationsNo spinach. Common misconception. Single party recording Is legal everywhere!!!!!!!! It’s the admissibility of it as evidence by the accuser that is limited. But it is ALWAYS admissible in defense against accusations. Record record record. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/01/26 01:58 PM |
| 1 | Feeling Lost and ScaredYep. Mine rewrote the wedding day too. Her happy tears at the alter… now they were tears of sadness because she knew she shouldn’t be marrying me. Unbelievable callousness trying to gaslight their husband to rethinking every moment was fake the past XX years just so she can lie to herself. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/01/26 02:29 AM |
| 3 | How do I know when to forgive my dadBrutal. Sorry man. That must hurt a lot and be very confusing. If you are looking for insight into what your father may have been thinking and feeling at these pivotal decision moments, I think you’d be better off talking to a therapist. Most of the men in here have had to fight hard to be in their children’s lives. Unless you have some suspicions your mom somehow cruelly wielded some unfair leverage to force his distance from you, then you will likely not get a satisfactory answer about your fa… | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/12/25 02:53 AM |
| 4 | No one is perfect, we're all work in progress. Have you ever tried to fix things rather than change the current person for a "perfect" person?I went through the the list of horrible things she did between the D word and signing. I'd say about 60% I can loosely attribute to the fear of the future/unknown, potential financial worries, strike-first-before-being struck — even if unjustified to believe I'd ever bring the hammer down like that to my children's mother. The other 40% I could not find — try as I might — any hypothetical reasons: they were absolute malice that served no benefit to her and only served to hurt me and, by extensio… | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/12/25 03:38 PM |
| 8 | Please Help, I am BrokenYou have a cheater. Cheaters are liars. They are capable of so much more than that. Forget the woman you once knew. She is dead. This new person is a stranger who fantasizes about you walking in front of a bus. She wants you dead and would do it if she knew for certain she would face no repercussions. It will get 50x darker before it gets better. Once the cat is out of the bag, she will do whatever she can to poke and prod and create jealousy to get you to yell or raise a hand against her. DO NO… | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/12/25 12:01 AM |
| 1 | I think I’m done, but the pain of divorce is crushing meAs for the near term advice, don’t be defensive. Tell her you’ve been thinking about what she said and that you get it. You’ve taken a hard look in the mirror and realize you’ve been asleep at the wheel for years. The monotony of work has slowly eaten away at your life force, and you don’t even recognize the frog you’ve been boiling slowly for a decade. And say thank you for the wake up call. And that you are going to bring back the man you used to be. And she can stay or go. It’s not the end of… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/12/25 11:51 PM |
| 1 | I think I’m done, but the pain of divorce is crushing meI didn’t save mine (affair happened before she brought up divorce so no real chance to… yes things were distant…. but I figured it was temporary and saw the light at the end of the tunnel… our youngest was just about to start daycare/preschool, and we were renovating and living out of suitcases), but i failed to keep my wife from looking elsewhere, so take with what i say with a grain of salt. But all those things above are important. Unfortunately if we want to survive our wives changes through… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/12/25 10:47 PM |
| 1 | Written in 1918, might resonate with a few here …(Mencken, In defence of women)the unfortunate thing is that now we actually have the technology to keep both spouses in line. women have always been deceitful cunning foes, playing 5 steps ahead for selfish ambitions with men putting the family before themselves who don't even realize they're in a game. and for that reason, it made sense men were given more power in ye olden times. But under that power structure, and behind closed doors, innocent women were beaten by horrible men. I assume it was not the majority. I don't th… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/12/25 12:25 AM |
| 2 | Hello & venting, etc...telling the APs spouse IS the high road. no one deserves to be left in the dark | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/12/25 12:12 AM |
| 4 | I dont know what to do anymoreOverall i think you are trying to treat the symptoms rather than the cause. Forcing compliance just makes your sons resist more and probably resent you more as well. but you also don’t want to talk shit about your ex to your sons so explaining why you left her is not easy too. I think you need to consider weigh out which is the lesser of two evils. Or… you may just have to take it for what it is. Divorcing their mom is one thing. Having an affair and then divorcing is quite another. If my daught… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/12/25 08:38 PM |
| 3 | Women Silently Emotionally Disconnecting and Checking Out Is CowardlyI know. My point was either she was unhappy for a long time and didn’t communicate and eventually let someone in (selfish and stupid), or was unhappy for a very short time and didn’t communicate and let someone in (selfish and really stupid). No man is perfect. Everyone nags a little. Some complaints are superficial nags, and some are marriage deal breakers. But it’s always the responsibility of the person who’s pulling away to to communicate the difference of which is which and say “hey I’m los… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/12/25 05:29 PM |
| 1 | My STBX keeps contacting and upsetting my elderly parents; what to do?I’ve been dumber and more ADHD for 2 years now. Patiently waiting for my wit to return. Hopefully it does. Divorce trauma is no joke. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/12/25 01:40 PM |
| 26 | Women Silently Emotionally Disconnecting and Checking Out Is CowardlyHalf of the women who say this and are telling the truth and it’s incredibly cowardly and selfish to do this to their families. You go girl. But the other half actually made the decision quite rapidly either before or after cheating, and just lie about the been unhappy for years because it helps justify them torching the family for entertaining feelings they’ve had for a couple weeks determine generational trauma for their kids and eventual grandkids. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/12/25 02:41 AM |
| 1 | Years after divorce, dealing with worsening severe trust issues.What you’re feeling is hypothetical shame based on the possibility who you’re talking to knows something you don’t. Like you still feel cuckolded a little (in the original sense of the word, not the kink) and feel powerful and exposed not knowing for sure. And the only thing more shameful than that would be badgering someone to find out if they shagged your ex wife. While I understand these knee jerk emotions, I think that hypothetical shame needs a reframing by doing some role reversal. If you … | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/12/25 04:02 AM |
| 1 | I think I’m done, but the pain of divorce is crushing meI will add to this that yes you have to be attractive and yes, you have to be calm and lastly in the immortal words of Cyndi Lauper, girls just wanna have fun. Your attempts at humor lately have been passive aggressive commentary on the state of things. Making light of discomfort and trying to ease the tension with humor about that tension will not work. Make life fun and funny again even if you have to drag her kicking and screaming. Granted, if she’s already started her monkey branching affair… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/12/25 02:01 PM |
| 10 | The feeling of being replaced.this is one of the reasons I wanted (and got) the house and the dog. You want out of this life, you get replaced, not me. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/12/25 08:57 PM |
| 3 | Why did therapy not work? Be honest, don’t give me the polite, mature answer.Mine tried to do this. Suggested therapy herself (95% certain her affair had already turned physical by this point, though I didn’t know til months later). And I said yes, we need it. We need to try everything for our daughters. I said let’s finish the last 1-2 weeks of house construction and then get into therapy, for real. She said no, let’s go tomorrow. Red flag 1. Red flag 2 was her admitting she doesn’t believe in therapy for couples but would be willing to give it one or two sessions. Pass… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/12/25 02:02 PM |
| 15 | I just want her to admit that she regrets it!My early 30s ex wife has dated so far dated: a 5’5 ugly murderer illegal Cuban who served 9yrs federal for trafficking firearms and drugs a fat, balding 35 year old hospital HR admin guy obsessed with legos and size G bra bimbofication who was excited to play hide and seek for 6 hours in my house when my process servers were trying to serve him a summons. And now a 59 year old manbaby who lies constantly, beat his ex wife, and starts video-recorded fights with his neighbors and local judges like… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/12/25 01:47 PM |
| 5 | With the love of my life, while being tortured by my exbeautiful. love to see stories like this. an inspiration to those trying to achieve the same outcomes | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/12/25 06:43 AM |
| 2 | divorced with 3 kids need financial adviceYikes. Mines pretty tough too. Took a 2nd mortgage to buy her out of our house so our children could keep their childhood home. That, on top of her $3K alimony, things are tight AF. As a freelancer where time = money and clients payments are unpredictable, it makes for a precarious situation. Kind of in a doom loop where I have to make 30% more money with 30% less time to earn it (due to 50-50 custody and running a household completely solo), all done with 50% less “for the family” super dad inc… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/12/25 04:47 PM |
| 17 | Still don’t understand why they talked so horribly about me (Cheating ex-wife led to me initiating divorce. The texts were horrific)I hear you. While I only caught snippets of their conversation about me, it was mostly about their love for each other and their plans to get me kicked out of my house permanently and gain primary custody of my girls. It’s so odd that after 12 years together, the person you love and swore to always be there for, can just start plotting behind your back with someone they don’t even know to literally just replace you as father, husband, and man of the house. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/12/25 10:29 PM |
| 2 | The kids dropped a bombshell last week and I am not sure what to do?worst take ive seen. get this idiot booted from the sub, telling a guy to give up and let his ex wife take the kids to the other side of the country. what a joke. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/11/25 11:04 PM |
| 11 | I Sense She is Regretting Big Timedont beat yourself up over the pick me dance. it doesnt work, but you will always be able to say you tried your hardest to get her to stay, appealing to love and 2nd chances and blah blah. if you're cold and heartless when they tell you they are leaving its just another "see this is why im leaving you" | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/11/25 10:58 PM |
| 2 | Ex wants another chanceAlso, don't be an moron with the poly bullshit. keep the kids out of it. do not introduce them to a single soul until you're done with whatever poly phase you're going through is.... otherwise she will use that against you and turn the tables back again to her favor. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/11/25 10:33 PM |
| 3 | Ex wants another chanceshe literally tried to get you murdered, either by your hand or by others. convincing the world that a person is a sexual and physical abuser is painting a target on their back, both in the real world and prison, and attempting to make it difficult for them to find work. social ostracization and lack of money can absolutely lead to suicide. she tried to get you murdered. do not ever forget that. with that in mind, any way you use her desperation to further "pull ahead" is justified. someone who … | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/11/25 10:31 PM |
| 6 | The Domestication Program: 20 Ways Modern Men Get Tamed Without Noticingyou forgot the last part. and then when you're fully domesticated. "you're not masculine enough" and she leaves, takes half your money, half your time or more with the kids, and you still have to pay her every month, and you get nothing in return. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/11/25 11:37 PM |
| 9 | My thoughts on Walk Away Wivessorry, i'll go further than that. it doesn't matter who held missed the signs and was a bad communicator while one partner or another didn't pull their weight. the buck stops with the person who calls it quits before attempting to rectify any of the above behavior / communication styles. I can forgive a woman for being a shit communicator and having childhood traumas, and even a man for not doing his fair share. the blame and the spotlight needs to 100% be on the people nuking their families and… | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/11/25 09:56 PM |
| 1 | Loss of purpose, driveit sounds like you have decided to divorce... that unfortunately robs you of the vengeful self improvement. one of the other bright sides to divorcing without kids is that you still have a first shot at creating and keeping a family together. for many men, their second relationships or 2nd wives/partners are better relationships, maybe 50x better, but i don't think any man would disagree that they wouldn't give that up for the alternative universe where their relationship with the mother of thei… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/11/25 09:04 AM |
| 1 | "Silver Bullet Divorce" and the ease most women have in getting a Temporary Protection Order.he awarded temporary protection until the hearing... and here was the hearing that came later https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdWIEgSCAgc | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/11/25 08:24 PM |
| 2 | Everything collapsed at once and my wife just asked for a divorcesame shit all over IG | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/11/25 08:09 PM |
| 3 | I am torn between filing for divorce and becoming better after my faultwell. your wife is not unusual that she's in the 50% that when they are done with you they must destroy you, rather than just simply letting you go — and is willing to take your daughter to another country and make sure you never see her again. its evil and its too common. and honestly, even entertaining those thoughts makes her so much deserving of that outcome than you. Awful. but again, shes the angel/demon. If you can get over the fact that there will always be a demon underneath, ready to s… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/10/25 10:30 AM |
| 5 | Guys, when will my heartache fade?If you have kids, then focus more on hate than self-loathing. With this decision, and not trying EVERYTHING to bring back the love, she let your kids down and made their lives, your life, add probably — though she'd never admit it — her life as well, objectively more difficult, more poor, and less happy. And once you've made that mental shift, it's time to realize that you have many decades ahead of you. The years pass fast now, and 9 years from now you will have spent as much time divorced as m… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/10/25 03:25 AM |
| 1 | I made a mistakeseconding this. look into it. and if you can't find a lawyer who will take that on (some lawyers don't want to take "losing" cases) consider a pro se filing of Petition for Modification of Child Guidelines (terminology different in every state) with a solid book of SMS / email evidence of you trying to do the right thing and reduce conflict, and her ultimately using that against you. Despite the negativity you see here on the legal system, many judges do rule in the child's best interest over al… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/10/25 03:22 AM |
| 4 | It all happened todayNo. She likes dancing and kissing people like you. Being ravished on one night stands is for cocky guys who are objectively more attractive than her on the 10 scale. Sucks to hear but it’s the truth | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/10/25 02:48 PM |
| 4 | It’s just the beginningThey say don’t warn your wife that you will divorce if she doesn’t do xyz bc then she can file first and you lost the element of surprise. Disagree. There is a way to give her one last chance without losing the battle high ground. Just meet the lawyer get a plan in place, and your paperwork together. Then you confront her and say you can’t be in a marriage like this. MIL needs to leave and blah blah blah, otherwise divorce. She will react poorly on day 1 which is natural. But if by day three she… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/10/25 02:43 PM |
| 1 | Starting to respect myself againWhat did he say ? | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/10/25 03:39 AM |
| 5 | Starting to respect myself againmany older brothers, uncles, fathers, and grandfathers give warnings in their own way. unfortunately it usually falls on deaf ears and is written off as bitterness most believing it won't happen it to them until it does. i didnt really get these warnings, but even if i had, i'm sure i would have ignored it like most men | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/10/25 02:57 AM |
| 6 | Starting to respect myself againsacrificing longterm respect for short term peace for my children's sake. whether i date again or not, there will be no more kids, so will never have to make that choice again. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/10/25 02:52 AM |
| 6 | Starting to respect myself againi missed his previous post, if there turns out to be another man, then its even more similar to my tale. if its the renovator, then Control-Foward and I are blood brothers | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/10/25 02:44 AM |
| 5 | Starting to respect myself againmy story to a T — her messiness, and even the bit about staying with my parents while our house was renovated and my mother bending over backwards for my ex wife (though it was never enough, despite being a one-way street). The only difference is i didn't do all the home labor, maybe 15-25% depending on the week/month but she was a SAHM and I worked 60 hours a week. the other major difference between our stories is my ex tried to keep secret her plan to keep the house for herself and the excon m… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/10/25 02:39 AM |
| 5 | Ex wife crashed date with new woman.It’s like you didn’t actually read what I wrote. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/10/25 09:13 PM |
| 6 | Ex wife crashed date with new woman.You are asking the wrong questions. If you aren’t bullshitting us, and you’re actually divorced, why are you still living together? If there’s really no way around that financially, then I would consider legal action. Against your ex wife. She wanted to ruin a good thing for you, and seems to have succeeded. If you had acted similarly in regards to her new boyfriend you better believe she would saved any Ring camera footage and have had her lawyer subpoena the cctv evidence from the movie theate… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/10/25 04:21 PM |
| 10 | Just got told my wife didn't want to keep working on our marriage, then she tried to get me to leave this same dayI’m betting on lesbian lover. If it was a friend she would have asked you. And wouldn’t have minded you being there . | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/10/25 11:23 PM |
| 11 | What I realized - healthy relationshipsYou were with her so long so you have forgotten it was like this in the beginning with the first one. We’ll see you back here in 5-10yrs as one of these 2nd divorce dudes. Probably in the early stages of a dating the third one who is “different this time” | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/10/25 02:06 PM |
| 6 | I just need to ventSounds like she wanted to extend the runway, not actually reconcile | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/10/25 03:22 PM |
| 1 | Am I wrong?Good advice. Play nice (but not a pushover) to get info and mitigate some hostility in her side. After the ink is dry then you can grayrock anything that’s not child logistics/money related | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/10/25 04:12 PM |
| 3 | When will it end?“ I just can't believe she actually quit on us after so many times that I wanted to quit and she wouldn't let me.” I know this is supposed to be a place of support but this line is pretty telling. You threatened the D word many times (perhaps justified, perhaps not) and then followed through to actually pushing for separation. Either she is not a good wife and you did the right thing and are just having cold feet because of your family, or she’s actually alright and you screwed up. Either way it… | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/10/25 06:52 PM |
| 3 | Where any of you able to keep your house?I took out a HELOC to pay her half of the house equity, both so I could keep it and also to reduce the amount of sudden change in our children’s lives. So now, instead of one mortgage-sized payment, I have three. (mortgage, HELOC, and monthly alimony). | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/10/25 02:37 AM |
| 8 | Fucking bitchDisagree. Breaking a family apart with cheating can induce rage even with men with no anger management issues. The personal romantic betrayal is not even half of it for me. It’s the betrayal of the family, the children, and of the investment of time into building something, like a building a sandcastle over decades, only to have someone just casually stomp it with zero consideration for the years put into it. It’s like, well if I knew this is what was going to happen, I wouldn’t have wasted so m… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/10/25 05:15 AM |
| 1 | How to let go of a desire for justice?guessing no kids? theres a 1000 ways to get revenge when you are the ex's life for the foreseeable future | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/09/25 05:52 PM |
| 6 | How blindsided were you by the affair?Nothing goes over my head. My reflexes are too fast. I would catch it.” –Drax, Guardians of the Galaxy. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/09/25 02:42 AM |
| 12 | 33 yo divorced manNot sure about the peace and regular sex part but I guess settling down is an aspect of marriage I’ve always had far more peace and sex while single and dating. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/09/25 12:22 AM |
| 8 | How to not internalize things she said to me towards the end?Yep. Lot of it is projection or intentional smoke and mirrors. Got called a liar, gaslighter (when pressed she couldn’t even give me a definition of the word), financial abuser, and that I was getting early dementia (at 40) ….all while she was sleeping with our illegal alien murderer federal excon renovations contractor in our house while I was at work and wasting our money on fun with him. The worse they act, the harder they try to make you think you’re the bad guy. Pretty shocking way to treat… | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/09/25 03:47 AM |
| 7 | Lol - why is every man a “narcissist”lmao if he didn’t physically beat her, this is it every time | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/09/25 05:28 PM |
| 3 | 6 months she maintained there wasn’t another man…liesWould you have made a different choice if your children were 1 6 and 8? | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/09/25 08:09 PM |
| 4 | 6 months she maintained there wasn’t another man…liesI'm going to go against the grain here and say whether you tell the kids or not is largely dependent on your emotional fortitude and also how she carries herself moving forward. If she were to attempt to paint you as the bad guy, and you felt she is or is going to, or already has destroyed you financially, on top of it all.... and you know overall a grave injustice has been done... if she wins every battle... can you still carry this secret with your chest out and chin up and get through this? I… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/09/25 08:03 PM |
| 16 | “Women cheat because of emotion” is honestly a Coping Mantra to help our male ego, and for women to protect their own dignity.This one I can’t get on board with …because the vast majority of the cheating is an affair partner colleague, neighbor, or exBF…. not a bar rando ONS. That being said the “connection” is still fake. It’s either the guy is saying what he needs to say to get laid over days/weeks/months; the women are mistaking affair sneaking excitement for connection; and they are only seeing the guy in this one very limited context — not real life, no shared responsibilities, not even seeing how he deals with co… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/09/25 04:45 PM |
| 9 | Be careful. In laws are aware of their daughter’s intent to profit of ill gotten gains at the expanse of husbands.They know. They also know if they don’t fully support her they will be cut out of her life. They are victims too. It’s really hard to disown your own child, and a woman who would do this to the father of their children, would drop their parents just as quickly. Narcs hold all the power. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/09/25 07:37 AM |
| 1 | Finally happenedkey question: "So my wife and I finally had the conversation last night." this is never naturally occuring. who actually asked to have the talk? or who organically weaved it into the conversation with plausible deniability? if the answer is her, then i take back what i said above. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/09/25 06:05 PM |
| 2 | Finally happenedi dont agree or disagree with this. its definitely true when she springs it on you and already has been seeing someone. shes out for blood at that point. but if both partners decide on divorce together... and there arent other people in the picture... maybe there's an opportunity to do the divorce right and actually stay friends — which the kids really benefit from. definitely keep an eye out for shenanigans... and once you see it yes, prepare for war... but i think in a mutual decision like thi… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/09/25 06:02 PM |
| 4 | Trying to fit 2 families togetheragree. he might even want some evidence/confirmation of "having her rental sold out from under her." Could be a ruse, and not even close to the worst one I've seen on here or in real life. for too many women, the ends — no matter how dishonest — always justifies the means, in terms of saving money and/or finding shelter/protection/etc | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/09/25 03:40 PM |
| 4 | I hate this shit.personally i understand that there are benefits to getting a clean slate (hobbies, dating, friends, travel, things you couldn’t buy before), but as excited as i am by those prospects, they have yet to materialize for me. I’m thankful for 50-50 custody and getting the house. But 2 mortgages (the second to pay her half of the equity), alimony, 50% single parenting, and running a household solo puts me in a position where my monthly burn is 30% higher than before — with 30% less time to work. This … | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/08/25 08:49 PM |
| 7 | Wife ran away with babykidnapping police report you sure its your kid? | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/08/25 06:32 AM |
| 1 | Spreadsheet for day to day recordingI’d recommend something that has irrefutable time stamps so they can’t say you threw it all together at the very end. Just create 2 free gmail accounts specifically for this purpose and create a sms groupchat and send text messages, audio messages, or audio-transcribed text messages to it every night before you fall asleep. Timestamp already taken care of. And presented in chronological order. One you can share the password of to the court at the end, and the other only you have the password of. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/08/25 12:09 AM |
| 2 | So, like, what’s the point of any of this? What if self-contentment is not possible?Look up ikigai | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/08/25 05:22 PM |
| 3 | Feeling like a failureyou worked hard for her, for whatever dreams you guys had and probably agreed on... early retirement, or a specific home, or a nest egg. You poured yourself into it to ensure you could protect her livelihood and safety longterm. And while you were doing that, yes you were probably less connected emotionally. Normal. That's real life. Most people have to work themselves to the bone. While it may feel ironic you lost all of what you were working towards by working towards it, it's not your fault. … | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/08/25 05:18 AM |
| 2 | [31M] I need someone to give me some perspectiveSimilar feelings though to a far lesser degree. I think I and many men here can sympathize with the slow erosion of self into having no identity other than a provider. The difference with you is that you jumped onto that path with both feet as a teen rather slowly dragged onto it over the course of a marriage. The good news is that you have the financial capability to discover what you love, and hopefully the time to do so. I think for many men they remember who they were and what they love but … | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/08/25 01:20 AM |
| 2 | Here we go again. Divorce number 3Probably after marriage 2 he didn’t have this forum so didn’t realize his 2nd wife was the rule, not the exception. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/08/25 08:23 PM |
| 1 | Never ending! what a bitchif money is a factor. look into pro se and a $20 a month chatgpt pro subscription (or one of the legal focused ones like Cetient)... aside from filing fees you can file and respond to your hearts content | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/07/25 12:46 AM |
| 1 | 4 weeks and looking up a mountainYep, he's about to get a 3x raise, a new woman that doesn't cheat on him, and his wife gets to take the blame for the family imploding. Sounds like a win-win-win. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/07/25 04:01 AM |
| 7 | How long did it take you to read this post?Wtf did I just read only a third of? | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/07/25 02:06 PM |
| 3 | All MEN Should Watch This Video - 7 Things Cheating Wives Do to Stay Undetectednot a scapegoat... not always... for some women it really is the lack of alpha behaviors... and for others its the disconnect.... for some its both... i think video rings true to me as far as what's going through their minds in some cases... but that doesnt change the fact that when there's a disconnect, both people feel it... but only one of them is thinking "oh, we are so busy right now and there's such a disconnect, maybe i should get my feels from someone else so i can feel good about myself… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/07/25 03:40 PM |
| 1 | Thought my situation might be different, lol.its a cheat code for how to deal with it when its already over. would be nice to know all this beforehand to catch the early signs. but even so you can only lead a horse to water. i most wrote off warnings id seen with "not my wife, all this shit i read is probably either fake, or its all trailer-trash bitches and low income hoes." now i know better. happens at every socioeconomic level, and its way more common than society pretends it is. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/07/25 02:41 AM |
| 2 | Felt this is appropriate to ask here. Girlfriend seems to be moving toward a marriage… a need divorced guys advice.You can be austically logical about this as long as you’re not austistically logical about everything and have a healthy streak of romance and being fun. Being fun and loving and having hard lines for serious things is actually a turn on for girls even if they fight it, whine, cry, and say it shows that you don’t love them. Don’t fall for it. Stick to your values and beliefs. The second you cave on well reasoned stances for emotional blackmail it’s over. For good. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/07/25 12:56 AM |
| 6 | Should I Take Her back?ummm she was being there for someone who's sibling past? and you want to break up with her for not seeing your family in town? priorities man... | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/07/25 10:57 AM |
| 9 | Its doneas a man, there's a irrational feeling that's hard to kick... that even when her behavior over months or years is 100% batshit under any circumstance... is there any possibility that if I could have been just a bit more of a leader, a bit more attractive to her, and then maybe she would have been more happy, at peace, and wouldn't have gone off the rails in so many self-destructive ways — which ultimately led to the division of a family? again completely irrational, because dealing with her bats… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/07/25 06:27 PM |
| 2 | Here’s a FML story for you!Wow so many bad answers. OPs question is why was she mad? Half the answers don’t even address it. The other half are wrong. Yours is the closest. The answer is more info needed. She was setting out to prove that no man would talk to her, as if there was a prior convo with OP wherein he said they would and she said they wouldn’t. And now she wants to join to prove she’s worthless to OP? Whole thing is odd. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/07/25 06:41 AM |
| 1 | New to divorce, am I being screwed?florida is 50/50 unless one of the parents is a serious danger to the kids, ie. a criminal or a drug addict | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/06/25 07:49 AM |
| 2 | Need suggestionskids? | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/06/25 04:17 AM |
| 1 | STBX wants to control who I see next, this isn't a thing right?your ex sounds terrible... but i disagree with your first line: "It’s completely unenforceable. Tell her to pound sand." yeah it might be unenforceable... but fuck OP for wanting to introduce his AP to the children. #1. There should not have been an AP to begin with. divorce or keep it in your pants. #2. since there was an AP, forcing that AP into the childrens lives is a daily reminder to them about mommy and daddys divorce as well as forcing them to interact with her. thats unhealthy for the c… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/06/25 04:13 AM |
| 8 | Wife dragged it out for 4 months, treated me like dirt, and now might want counselling? Too late.It’s either this, or she wanted him to be the one who “tore apart the family” | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/06/25 09:13 PM |
| 2 | Considering divorce - need advice on finances/logistics.the amount of stress and work involved with getting and being divorced is always always always 20x more work than figuring out how to fix the marriage. People just be lazy. Getting divorced will cost hundreds of thousands of dollars short and medium term and 100 plus hours, perhaps over a million dollars in the long run indirectly, along with hundreds if not thousands more hours lost to doing extra things you used to rely on a partner for. If you both threw hundreds of hours, and tens to hundred… | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/06/25 08:08 AM |
| 7 | Would you remarry and have more children in your 40's?Yep, that’s the fantasy I’ve heard many times. I wish you the best, but before you go down that road, I’d challenge you to find an actual example of it playing out like that in reality… wherein the original children visit 50% of the time and don’t feel like outsiders… and don’t feel they are getting in the way of their parents starting new lives… and don’t feel like they the 50% they have with each parent is going to be divided even further, competing for attention with a strange woman and a new… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/06/25 01:55 AM |
| 8 | Would you remarry and have more children in your 40's?No woman, no matter how amazing, could make me want to create a second family. My first children were brought into this world without their permission, and their parents failed to keep their family together. Having a do-over with someone else and casting them as part-time visitors to that new family is adding another insult to injury. No thanks. I had my chance and blew it. I’m not going to sweep it under the rug. I am going to put all my eggs in the basket of making our half of a broken family … | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/06/25 01:25 AM |
| 1 | Think its timeindividual therapy, couples therapy, marriage books, masculinity self help books, couples retreats, doctors visits to check hormones, being more attractive, marriage guru/coach online programs, more romance, internet deep dive to learn about attachment and avoidance styles, medication... to name a few. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/06/25 05:35 AM |
| 2 | Think its timeDid you try everything? | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/06/25 06:17 AM |
| 1 | How good is ChatGPT (paid version) at partially replacing a divorce lawyer? Has anybody else been using a custom GPT for asking basic legal questions and drafting some emails/getting advice?its good as a sounding board and general strategizing, and first drafts, etc... for important questions regarding particular laws, you have to hit "Research" button before you ask your question so that it provides localized sources. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/06/25 07:41 AM |
| 1 | Finalized Separation Agreement - fucked less than trial - still fucked.at the very least, at least they're on the hook for 50% of debts too (kind of a shock actually — I wouldn't have been surprised to find the law relieving SAHMs of debts and still getting their 50% of assets and savings). But that silver lining is only relevant if you let it play out in court rather than settling — and only useful if you have significant debt and a smaller amount of assets and savings. Unfortunately in my case, letting it play out in court was not an option, which she used to her… | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/06/25 07:30 AM |
| 2 | Finalized Separation Agreement - fucked less than trial - still fucked.Yes, and they want to impute her wages based on earning potential to calculate alimony.... oh so you DO have a way to calculate what she's capable of? Why not apply that same logic to the division of assets in a SAHM situation? Her wage potential when she quit working, add 10% per year, until she asked for divorce... how much did you earn in that time period? how much would she have earned? There's your % split of debts and assets. Hell, you can even add 15 or 20% per year... Still would be more… | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/06/25 11:03 PM |
| 3 | Not Going to Make ItYou can check my post history… but she did the works. Every cliche, except an unhinged crusade to keep me away from my children… definitely crossed her mind (she made an argument to me for 70-30 at one point)… but ultimately I believe her desire to have absolute freedom half the week won out over her desire to hurt me via separation. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/06/25 05:35 PM |
| 10 | Finalized Separation Agreement - fucked less than trial - still fucked.Lot of the same financial outcomes as you. Earlier on, back when I told her anything other than ok, no, yes… if I ever complained about the financial destruction she said, “well I’m in an even worse situation that you.” Uh, that doesn’t make it any better. I didn’t want this for either of us. You chose this for both of us. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/06/25 01:56 PM |
| 7 | Not Going to Make ItI'm also 17 months on — to the day — from when she first dropped the bomb. The reason you have no closure is because you have no answers. I spied, poked, and prodded like Sherlock Holmes, and don't regret a second of it. If I hadn't, I would still think she was the angel I will regret my whole life that I let slip away — instead of learning how evil she really was (and perhaps many women are — and very, very likely your ex-wife too) — which makes it much easier to move on, and to realize your li… | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/06/25 05:25 AM |
| 9 | My wife of 23 years is a lesbian.tell her you're taking a lover, and she can too. she's lied to you for decades and it's unforgivable she wasted not just her short life on this planet, but also yours. you'd prefer to continue to have the stability of her presence and the house you've built and manage together, and neither of you be in financial distress, but you need to feel loved and desired now in your 50s and 60s since you missed out on it in your 20s 30s and 40s | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/06/25 09:14 AM |
| 1 | Hate missing out on my son's lifeshe doesnt have to give in. you send them. she shows them or she doesnt. then when you have him again you show the video that you sent. she'll realize pretty quickly that not showing the videos makes her look bad and start showing them | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/06/25 05:37 AM |
| 12 | on the brink of divorce (help)Aside from the fact that you are the rare exception to the adage “men sacrifice their happiness for their families, while women sacrifice their families for their happiness”… …I find that every woman (and now man too apparently) who CLAIMS they “tried everything” to generate those “feelings” — thereby saving their children and their spouse (and themselves, whether they realize it or not) from emotional, psychology and financial trauma that can last a lifetime and even reverberate across future g… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/06/25 03:28 PM |
| 2 | Checked my messages for the first time in forever, to a very interesting butt dial.And their grandchildren. And themselves. Everyone gets affected by divorce. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/06/25 06:48 AM |
| 2 | Looks like im joining the club I never wanted to be a part of…im heartbroken and not sure I’ll ever trust another woman again.Yes, to what others said about following your lawyers advice. A good lawyer will rarely, if ever, tell you the wrong thing, but even the best lawyers can occasionally forget to tell you something important… so def don’t leave it 100% in your hands. Do research in tandem. Also note they focus on the money and children aspects of divorce. They are not in the business of ensuring you come out of this with an “emotionally” satisfying closure. You need to ask yourself what that looks like. 2, 5, 10, … | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/06/25 06:32 AM |
| 1 | House and FinancesZillow and others to check rental for yourself. For heloc, check out various regional and national banks and federal programs For renting out your place, yes you need to weigh the savings of doing the rental marketing/closing process and ongoing mgmt yourself, vs having a layer btwn you and tenant. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/06/25 02:58 PM |
| 1 | House and Financesif btwn your wifes job and your alimony, if any, she can get by without needing half the house equity in cash (and is not interested in buying immediately), offer her to take her name off the mortgage but retain her deed percent share. then you can both let some third party build equity for you, albeit split... ...or take out a heloc to buy her out if your current interest rate is lower than current rates. of course that changes the math a bit. very unlikley tenant rent will be more than more mo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/06/25 08:05 AM |
| 11 | Looks like im joining the club I never wanted to be a part of…im heartbroken and not sure I’ll ever trust another woman again.this is brutal. I was where you were about 14 months ago. disbelief that my forever person i'd give my. life for could cheat, let alone badmouth me, plan for my demise behind my back.... this seems to be where you're at... and it seems you're starting to suspect but are afraid to look behind the curtain... ...its gonna get a lot worse before it very, very slowly gets better, and apparently if you keep your head screwed on* it eventually gets better than it ever was during your marriage. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/06/25 07:50 AM |
| 11 | Looks like im joining the club I never wanted to be a part of…im heartbroken and not sure I’ll ever trust another woman again.I suspected cheating by the first paragraph and confirmed it in the 5th. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/06/25 07:45 AM |
| 3 | House and FinancesX = mortgage + pest + util + HOA Y = what you could rent it for Z = the cheapest you could rent an apt for If Y = X you rent a cheap place while building equity in an expensive place If Y > X You rent a cheap place at a discount while build equity in a more expensive place If Y = X+Z you live for free in a cheap place and build equity in a more expensive place If Y > X+Z you live for free in a cheap place, build equity in a more expensive place, and still have dough leftover for savings or funsi… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/06/25 06:32 AM |
| 3 | Have any of you been divorced by a good woman?Same with mine… minus the dad relationship and that she’s an average mother (on the day to day at least, could probably deduct some points for tearing her family apart for an excon and then allowing her children to get close to BF#2 before the divorce was finalized and then breaking up with him shortly thereafter). And her friends didn’t stop talking to her. She stopped talking to them. Hasn’t had a friendship last longer than 1-3 years… ever. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/06/25 01:32 AM |
| 9 | She bought lingerie…yep, mine did the same 2 weeks after asking for divorce, and started going on tinder dates, and leaving empty condom wrappers around. would have been sooner than 2 weeks had we not had a house guest. it's playbook and can't fathom how a person can do that. i've never once heard of a man deliberately doing this to his wife after deciding to end a marriage. Leaving someone who still loves you and was a good partner is a painful enough experience... why would anyone deliberately broadcast these the… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/05/25 01:30 AM |
| 12 | What Lesson?You have learned that just because you are good to someone doesn’t mean they will be good back. You’ve learned some people are broken. You’ve learned that there are women for whom giving all of yourself to them makes them less attracted to you and more likely to leave, and that the less you give the more attracted they will be and likelier to stay. And you’ve learned that there are some women who for whom this isn’t true. And you’ve learned that although there are some signs, there really is no … | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/05/25 06:04 AM |
| 8 | She wants me, she wants me not, she wants me and everything else.If she's the one who started this party, and threatened to not let you see your son ever again, then you have a serious candidate for silver bullet divorce here for sure (AKA she is likelier than most women to lie about you being abusive to destroy your life and gain the upper hand in custody and finances). YOU MUST record audio of EVERY interaction with her. There are tons of affordable options on Amazon. Order it TODAY and have it sent to your office or a friends house. If you share an amazon … | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/05/25 06:59 PM |
| 2 | Very happily married and wife suddenly in big rush to leaveThere are 100 ways to say we can get fucked up and do drugs or get drunk… or whatever… and “I got my own place so WE can get messy” is like at the bottom if its even on the list at all. It’s so hard to imagine our forever person being so deceitful and disregarding of the family, the years and the sacrifice, but you know the answer already. It’s just impossible to accept that you’ve been living with an absolute lying stranger for many years now, and the person you thought you lived with doesn’t e… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/05/25 11:32 AM |
| 1 | Feels like day 1 again…And to boot, how much you engage with your kids when they are with you trumps the aesthetics or size or quality of the home. Kids just want to be seen and loved and played with. If you can do that, they will love a studio apartment with dad more than a mansion with mom, assuming she’s going to be very self focused for the foreseeable future. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/05/25 05:25 PM |
| 6 | Question for Women in this subThe difference being that I’ve heard of very few if any situations wherein when the man is totally done with his wife “emotionally” (roommate stage), he would — rather than divorcing somewhat reasonably — go scorched earth to get his otherwise good wife and mother arrested, attempt to destroy her reputation, job prospects, and keep her children from her. The opposite is shockingly common. Yes, there are certainly millions of women who have divorced their husbands amicably or semi-respectfully wh… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/04/25 02:24 AM |
| 4 | Question for Women in this subIntellectually I know all women are different… but I still struggle with the question of whether or not all women are capable of transforming into ‘that’ once they become “unhappy” and feel compelled to gaslight themselves into believing I’m the devil — in order to justify leaving and trying extra hard to destroy me in the process. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/04/25 12:04 AM |
| 1 | I need a pick me up!Why isn’t it? | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/04/25 06:16 AM |
| 1 | Help please - only my ex could save me?Of the people who have stuff they need to work on, accountability and introspection are half the battle. Can’t improve if you’re in denial right? You seem to be stuck at the beating yourself up stage. While I’m sure there’s stuff you need to work on, take it with a grain of salt. Some of your self hate could be externally influenced. A very skillful narcissist can destroy a man’s self worth over a decade like a boiled frog , manipulate him into initiating divorce, and then label him as the bad g… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/04/25 06:16 AM |
| 2 | I need a pick me up!Become George Clooney. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/04/25 12:40 AM |
| 5 | Field Report: The Redhead from the MarketYou will find that some men in here — due to temporary job / financial logistics — are, or have been temporarily separated from their wives, fiancés, or partners. And since a very large portion of the divorces in this sub have an element of female infidelity, I do not think you going after a taken woman will sit well with this crowd. It’s not the other man’s fault at the end of the day, sure, but it takes two to tango, and you are equally devoid of morals if you continued to pursue beyond that k… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/04/25 05:19 PM |
| 5 | Jealous thoughts and poor sleepI know it’s totally irrational as I don’t own her body — so I only acknowledge the feeling but not give credibility to it — but to me, even beyond attraction and love, the place where our beautiful children were conceived, grown, and birthed is… scratch that… WAS sacred to me, above all else. Another man having access to that place of miracles feels like the greatest betrayal and an attack on my children and the source origin of my family, but I no longer permitted to guard that sacred place. No… | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/04/25 02:34 PM |
| 3 | Going through it: setting money on fire left and rightOne important thing I wish I’d learned earlier on. Doesn’t matter if you’re in 2-party or 1-party consent state, you can secretly audio record your STBX as much as you want to use as defense against a claim of physical abuse. The 2-party law simply makes the evidence inadmissible only if you are reporting her abuse, because it’s possible to cherry-pick a reaction to abuse done prior to hitting the record button. But if she comes at you with some lies about something that happened on a certain da… | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/04/25 05:50 AM |
| 3 | My wife wants a divorce and we’re still living in the same house. I feel like I’m losing everything.I think that’s totally a reasonable age to say what you said. It’s not badmouthing her. It’s just stating facts. You under no obligation to cover for her. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/04/25 05:38 AM |
| 2 | My wife wants a divorce and we’re still living in the same house. I feel like I’m losing everything.How old are your children? Mine are 3 and 7 now, but were 2 and 6 when she first brought up divorce. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/04/25 06:25 AM |
| 4 | My wife wants a divorce and we’re still living in the same house. I feel like I’m losing everything.Yes, I know it’s terrible advice. And no good man would actually do this. It’s just frustrating that so many good men are not able to reverse the 1-3 years of their wives checking out. I wish there was a better technique to snap them out of it, and save the marriage. If saving the marriage was actually achieved (even via my tongue-in-cheek suggestion above), the ends would justify the means, no matter how temporarily damaging it would be to the children. The truth is that every marriage is diffe… | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/04/25 01:44 AM |
| 7 | My wife wants a divorce and we’re still living in the same house. I feel like I’m losing everything.I feel like most guys do the same things in these situations where they still love their wife and still want the grandparents / growing old together future. Some beg and some don’t, some improve physically and some don’t. Some improve behaviorally, and some don’t. Any mix and match of the above doesn’t seem to work, especially so if she already has another man in the mix. All men seem to put the children first and guard them from the pending split. I’m half-tempted to promote this subreddit as a… | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/04/25 06:06 PM |
| 1 | She calls me abusive and evil, but after everything she did… I’m starting to think it was the other way around.Narc/BPD and boiled frogmat detected. NMMNG, NO more sex, withdraw immigration affidavits, and grey rock. Then stay at your mom’s until she vacates the apartment. She has only shown you a fraction of her power. Shits about to get real. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/04/25 11:08 PM |
| 15 | Parental alienation .don’t buy into that ‘not her first’ choice bullshit. that’s also part of rewriting history. women are goldfish and what you look like today and more importantly what you act like today is all that matters. 80% of their attraction is based on your confidence, calmness, non-needy love, and your mission and interests outside of them. Only 20% is looks, bc let’s face it, we’ve all seen women go gaga over conventionally unattractive bad boys who don’t give a hoot about them. Point being, at one point… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/04/25 06:45 AM |
| 3 | Co-Parenting Through the Tough Times: A Birthday Party RealityYes, this. Infuriating. They are actually the bad guy, but now get to position you as the bad guy for not wanting to break bread with the person who murdered your wealth, heart, family, self esteem, psychology, health, and life mission. And you’re right. They caused the two birthdays, not you. It’s so odd to me that so many women can’t just divorce peacefully and respectfully and stay monogamous until it’s over out of respect for the many years of mutual sacrifice and for the children. It’s real… | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/04/25 05:33 PM |
| 9 | Co-Parenting Through the Tough Times: A Birthday Party RealityThis story made me feel all warm and fuzzy | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/04/25 05:06 PM |
| 1 | How do you get past the fact that your ex technically “has it easy” now… with her disregarding all of your effort, and shaping the entire situation as if she was a victim of the marriage.I’ve had some success reframing it as… yes things weren’t perfect but they was the one who crossed a line that cannot be uncrossed (probably due to childhood traumas), then initiated a divorce. And most importantly? everything she’s ever said or done since crossing that line has been about avoiding self scrutiny for destroying the family. A house of cars | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/04/25 11:08 AM |
| 4 | Super depressed about moneyI don’t exactly write the laws. She wanted far more originally, and the above was the outcome after a long battle. I suppose I could have allowed us to sell the home, but both I and the children love the house and it also has a very low interest rate. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/03/25 06:47 AM |
| 20 | Super depressed about moneyOh, yes. Same boat. In the year before her affair, she wasted just under $50K on herself, and then I had to support her to a similar figure during the 9 months of proceedings. At the end, I took on serious debt to pay her $1xx,xxx to get the house, and also still owe her $1xx,xxx in alimony over the next x years. And took on another $1xx,xxx loan from family to pay legal bills and shortfalls due to decreased revenue from the divorce eating up 50-75% of my day for a year. And the mortgage still h… | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/03/25 06:27 AM |
| 1 | Ex is buying house with boyfriend of 5 years and I'm still stuck paying maintenanceJust upload your MSA to ChatGPT | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/03/25 02:39 AM |
| 3 | She wants outMy story is similar to yours but 5x worse. The insanity of it is that they easily could have ended the marriage without destroying the family and burning every bridge. Thats where the zero love for their children comes from. I can forgive wanting out of a marriage. I could maybe even forgive an affair. But the cruelty and gaslighting and attempting to make you feel like the bad guy while they do it? No, that’s one step too far. Now I can never be in the same room as you ever again, which is a te… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/03/25 06:45 AM |
| 4 | Now wife works out and loses weightYes. Not a lot of time for working out or money for personal fashion when you work overtime most days to support her spending habits, and come home early other days to relieve her of the overwhelming duties of being a SAHM. Ironically after divorce for some men it’s even harder. Many have to make even more money than before (alimony, child support, and debts), with less time to do it (shared custody), which doesn’t leave much room for exercise or dating. Out of the frying pan and into the fryer. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/03/25 12:56 AM |
| 18 | I told her I wanted a divorce. It did not go how I expectedThis will end badly. No sex = lack of respect and attraction. My 2 guesses: she either briefly respected you when you showed the willingness to leave (which of course was short-lived), or she knew her ducks were not in a row yet, despite having thought about divorce herself. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/03/25 02:01 PM |
| 2 | New partner not liking my kidhad? | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/03/25 10:35 PM |
| 6 | She played me goodall good, mine dangled ‘second guessing’ for the children in order to manipulate me to buy her $1,000 worth of stuff and also to buy more time to secure funds for a legal retainer to avoid default judgement. the second she had a lawyer she called to gloat about it. never heard about second chances again after that. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/03/25 07:30 AM |
| 9 | Has your view of women in relationships changed?What i think he means are all women are capable of falling out of "love" with you (aka lose primal attraction), despite how much you do and have done for them and your children. And when they fall out of love with you, all women are capable of turning you not into an friend, but an enemy. The extent to which they turn you into an enemy and the extent to which they try to destroy you — heart, body, soul, and wallet — can vary from woman to woman. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/03/25 05:54 PM |
| 3 | Well I lost…Does family court in Ontario require a lawyer or can u self represent? If u can self represent I recommend you do so. With so little custody you have plenty of time to do your research. Perhaps you can even submit a request for change of judge/arbitrator. It’s a great idea to use a lawyer for a divorce as there’s 300 aspects to it. But if you are literally going after one thing, I think you can handle the paperwork, evidence preparation, and trial processes. Can save 95% of the cost. And appeal … | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/03/25 04:40 PM |
| 1 | Do you fight less/get less angry in your new relationships?Wives/women who are wildly attracted to and chasing their men typically are more willing to admit fault than women who are unattracted to and resentful of their partners. As soon as it’s even, or they have the power, attraction and accountability both fade. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/03/25 03:30 AM |
| 10 | “MY Children are My Life”My wife’s pecking order was her, AP, then clothes, then the kids, then her family, then everyone else on earth, then me. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/03/25 12:03 PM |
| 1 | A Few Questionsmy two cents… Although I am very concerned about her saying you can’t come with them to xyz place (where?!? MIL visit? AP’s house?)…. if you or she hasn’t cheated yet, and she hasn’t dropped the divorce bomb (it’s you planning this), then this is still salvageable and worth trying everything to bring her back to sanity for your children’s sake. I 100% believe you she’s a monster. But if you could snap your fingers and she would instantly stop all fight-picking and become the same loving girlfrie… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/03/25 06:05 PM |
| 3 | remarried with kids. I struggle balancing my life.I can sense you are overworked, over stressed, and tired. Add a little pressure from the person who is giving you the very little happiness in your life right now (likely. Happiness that was missing from your marriage for a decade or more)…. And you got a prime combo to make a really bad decision you’d regret later when you are thinking more clearly. You can ALWAYS find another woman. I bet you could even find a BETTER one within 30 min of your kids. But you CAN NEVER replace these children and … | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/03/25 10:44 PM |
| 1 | I recently confronted her Narcissism. She has improved immensely. But I don't think she loves me. The only thing keeping me here is the kid. But also feeling stuck. I need some kind of Help to see things better?I’m very interested for you to elaborate on this “confronting her narcissism” and how she responded to that | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/03/25 10:25 PM |
| 1 | I could really use some adviceI meant she might need therapy since she cries so often, but yeah you going first could remove the stigma / perceived judgment when you offer her to join you or go to her own. Also, spend a little less time with your friends and plan something fun for you and her to do together. Women, if receptive, love this shit and a little effort pays back 20-fold, especially with someone like your girl who still clearly is into you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/03/25 07:32 PM |
| 5 | I could really use some adviceI’m gonna go against the grain here and say count your blessings. You’ve been together ten years and she’s still DTF any time you are DESPITE her health issues? On the one hand, children can change things, especially with a woman predisposed to health issues, but at the same time 10yrs and a healthy sex life despite her issues is a MAJOR green flag. There’s a really good chance the next woman you’d date could IV drip the sex after the honeymoon phase. The grass is not always greener. Often it is… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/03/25 05:15 PM |
| 2 | My Life Wasn’t the ProblemOh the classic “ I supported your career so now you have to support mine now” schtick | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/03/25 10:02 AM |
| 2 | Funny StoryIt’s always a felon apparently | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/03/25 05:14 AM |
| 11 | Sleeping with the enemyGet a vasectomy, keep fucking her, but don’t commit, dangle reconciliation as long as you can to prevent her from getting a new bf, and when your children are old enough that you don’t need to worry about a stepfather that’s abusive, a pedo, or trying to hard to usurp your daddy role, then you let her go for good | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/02/25 04:06 PM |
| 2 | Your wake up call.And I’d bet he never once stopped her from getting a job. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/02/25 01:18 AM |
| 3 | Delayed AngerI like the idea too, but how to remain driven and goal focused while indifferent to outcomes and without preferences? And without drive and focus you cannot as effectively provide for your children | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/02/25 06:44 AM |
| 1 | For those who *didn’t* choose this…Brutal | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/02/25 03:43 PM |
| 6 | I Feel TrappedYou need to bury this for the time being, and get a better paying job near your family, convince your wife that it’s in the best interests of the family to move back, and after the kids are in school, then you file. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/02/25 11:13 PM |
| 1 | I begged and I regret doing it!Not sure what you mean? | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/02/25 11:10 PM |
| 6 | I begged and I regret doing it!I’m gonna go against the grain here and say begging is actually better, especially if you have children. Let’s examine the four outcomes: No begging > reconciliation: Great, you got her back by showing a backbone. Maybe that’s what she needed the whole time. But a woman that responds to this is still a ticking time bomb. What happens when you get sick or lose your job and/or finds a more masculine man? No begging > divorce: You’re divorced. She gets to tell people you never cared and didn’t even… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/02/25 10:03 PM |
| 3 | I don't understand!If she ain’t already with a guy u have a chance. No begging, ignore the topic but be the change she wants to see and also man up a bit and restore attraction, be playful, but don’t hover or follow | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/02/25 05:32 AM |
| 1 | I had my 1st post divorce hook upand what were your 3? | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/01/25 01:43 PM |
| 5 | I want the best possible divorce (if reconciliation isn’t possible)you are in the opening chapter. its gonna get a lot, lot, lot worse before it gets better. step 0: lawyer consultation. confirm the plan and find out if anything below is a bad idea in your state. step 1: look at your financial situation. your liquid net worth will likely be split 50-50. you can decide whether to either keep this liquid, or use it to pay down debts and/or a mortgage, or you can do something semi-nefarious to move that money to a third place for yourself to have access to later. … | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/12/24 02:54 AM |
| 1 | Wife wants M-F, I want 50/50. How to get her to agree?depends on the area, id assume. from ChatGPT: Yes, you can file a petition for divorce without a lawyer, often referred to as filing "pro se." In many states, you can submit a simplified or uncontested divorce petition that focuses on the basic details of the marriage, including biographical information and the official request for a divorce, without addressing alimony, asset division, or other detailed terms at this stage. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/12/24 07:36 PM |
| 1 | Wife wants M-F, I want 50/50. How to get her to agree?first thing is have any lawyer who doesn't require a $5K retainer immediately submit the petition simply to draw a line in the sand on date for debts, assets, and school district. it shouldn't cost more than $500 to do this. If its possible for him to include no other asks and specify that the parents will attempt to resolve all matters with a mediator first. this prevents her running with the kids back to your MIL's home state or a long distance AP and also prevents dissipation of assets, liqui… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/12/24 05:02 PM |
| 2 | Having a hard time coping with something that should be the least of my worriesThat’s why he asked her. Because he doesn’t want to bother talking about reconciliation if she’s already dating. Reasonable question to ask. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/10/24 05:02 PM |
| 1 | Anniversary acknowledgement?as it should be. if you want to take the risk that sober, random wednesday movieman-steve makes the same decisions as anniversary, drunk movieman-steve, have at it | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/10/24 02:29 AM |
| 1 | Saved marriageDo you think you would have had the drive/focus to succeed in that change if she had already gotten involved with someone else? | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/10/24 02:25 AM |
| 1 | Anniversary acknowledgement?My first post divorce anniversary hasn’t arrived yet. But getting drunk on a day with that much meaning is a dumb risk to take that you may end up getting emotional and texting something you regret the next day | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/10/24 02:35 PM |
| 1 | Anniversary acknowledgement?That last sentence is a fucking terrible idea | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/10/24 02:29 PM |
| 1 | Rebuilding your wealth as fast as possibleor if he hadn't done the work and had to sell the same house (with same agent fee), then maybe it would have fetched a lower price? question is whether the labor hours and hard costs covered that hypothetical increase in value that allowed him to break even. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/10/24 06:23 PM |
| 2 | Seeking male perspective on navigating life post-divorcea lot of these responses are pretty good and no person has linear thought. all of these thoughts probably entered his head at one point or another. a mix of all of them, hard to discern. I'll posit another — fear of losing you. When men get divorced from a cheater, that cheater will provide a laundry list of how that man failed to be a man she can be attracted to and respect. Yes, you guys had great sex and a wonderful relationship for 11 months — but most relationships begin that way, probably … | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/10/24 04:59 PM |
| 6 | I miss her. I f*cked everything up and just want my family back 2 years post divorcemost of what you read here has zero chance of reconciliation... but this seems hopeful to me — if you play your cards right from here on out | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/08/24 08:19 AM |
| -1 | Is your new girlfriend way better than your ex wife?I understand what you mean, but divorce is never a win — at best, its the lesser of two evils. The only 100% good outcome is a healthy happy relationship between their birth parents, which isn't always possible. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/08/24 03:05 PM |
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