| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 11 | Continuously cautious of men who look for "young girls"Mate you’re doing so well to be this cautious at 19. Those men will chew you up and spit you out. You’re gonna do awesome in life if your head is already this screwed on!!! ❤️ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/09/20 08:21 PM |
| 6 | NVM begging for nudes even though we lived 15 minutes away from each other 🤡Omg what a knob. 15 minutes!!! Stuff like this boggles my mind, imagine a guy 100 years agos reaction in this situ... like she is 15 mins away, why you so low effort | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/09/20 08:19 PM |
| 44 | Like you have to ask?Felt this in my soul | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/09/20 08:17 PM |
| 6 | Thought I found a HVM, then I told him no to hanging out on weekend, explained I’m only comfortable socializing about three times a week to keep my social battery happy...Oh wow yeah zero respect for boundaries, abusive warning flags, yikes | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/09/20 08:42 PM |
| 3 | Why do some women date such ugly men?I think a lot of people carry childhood trauma and it gives them low self esteem. So when they meet someone showing interest in them, they feel delighted even though they’re not actually attracted to them. I defo used to be that person, I’d convince myself I found guys cute but only because they were into me and their personalities kinda overrode their looks (mostly). My friends would ask wtf I’m doing with these men two decades older than me/blatant alcoholics but at the time I didn’t think I c… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/09/20 08:38 PM |
| 1 | Question for women 25yo+ who dated an older man (35+) in their teens or their early 20s: how do you feel right know about this man and the relationship?Thanks 🙏 it was a fair few years ago but yes at the time the predators definitely were circling! People with low self esteem and anxiety tend to doubt themselves and have no boundaries so perfect fodder for abusive men | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/08/20 01:16 PM |
| 5 | Finally got myself a HVM... Too bad it wasn't in real life 🤣 🤣 🤣Aww this is such a great game! ^ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/08/20 11:38 AM |
| 4 | Question for women 25yo+ who dated an older man (35+) in their teens or their early 20s: how do you feel right know about this man and the relationship?Thank you! And same, blessed be the FDS fruit | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/08/20 09:54 PM |
| 8 | Question for women 25yo+ who dated an older man (35+) in their teens or their early 20s: how do you feel right know about this man and the relationship?Hahahaha omg don’t. I hate my younger self sometimes but I was 22, had just moved to a new city and had gone through a traumatic stranger rape. I think he just smelled the vulnerability and went for it 🤷♀️ I ended things cos he got extra creepy and was updating his online dating profile (to try find someone even younger I guess lmao eww) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/08/20 09:45 PM |
| 38 | Question for women 25yo+ who dated an older man (35+) in their teens or their early 20s: how do you feel right know about this man and the relationship?Honestly awful. He lied about his age (was 38 to my 22) and basically “groomed” me for lack of a better word? Like lovebombed me hard, manipulated me. Any time I pulled away he’d be like “oh and I had just bought tickets for a weekend away guess I better throw them out now...”. This man had nothing in common with me. What does a man in his late 30s have in common with any teenager or woman in early 20s. To be honest I’d recommend just sending “Born Sexy Yesterday” by Pop Culture Detective on You… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/08/20 06:11 PM |
| 6 | Link this dude sends his matches. Click and decide if you wanna laugh or cry.I’ve just found his LinkedIn 😅 which I won’t share as doxing. But yeah tech | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/08/20 12:57 PM |
| 5 | Link this dude sends his matches. Click and decide if you wanna laugh or cry.I’m gonna agree with person below, I don’t think it’s true... he’s made himself a dating website like an OkCupid tech bro. I just find it weird. Either way the whole profile is a joke 😅 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/08/20 12:51 PM |
| 3 | Link this dude sends his matches. Click and decide if you wanna laugh or cry.Yep! Never encountered as much sexual harassment as when I was working in that industry 🤔 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/08/20 12:50 PM |
| 10 | Link this dude sends his matches. Click and decide if you wanna laugh or cry.I’ve found him and he is indeed in tech lol. Obv will not share anything else | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/08/20 12:48 PM |
| 9 | How to identify lovebombing?Have you taped my previous convos? For real tho this was scary to read, where do they get their scripts 🤔 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/08/20 12:39 PM |
| 8 | Omg 🙃 LVMAhahaahha amazing | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/08/20 12:35 PM |
| 50 | Link this dude sends his matches. Click and decide if you wanna laugh or cry.This made me scream and laugh. Wow. Also is it weird I just know he’s a software engineer? I’ve not taken the time to look into him but 99% certain just on this he works in software engineering 😅 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/08/20 11:52 PM |
| 2 | Wonder if guys get emailed about “penis enlargement” promos (or do only women get constant reminders for body modification)?100% I wish it had just been a suggestion but it was a “you have to do this”. This sub has been a life saver lol | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/08/20 01:21 PM |
| 3 | What are the little red flags you look back on and realize you should have paid more attention to?He mentioned the girlfriend of his best friend didn’t like him and thought he was a bad influence. When I asked why she’d think that he didn’t answer. At a birthday party for one of his friends, I ended up sat at the table apart from him chatting to some strangers (my bf said he didn’t know them either). One of them asked if I was David’s girlfriend and said yeah, oh do you know him? And he replied really weirdly, “Oh yes I know him, I grew up down the road from him” and changed the topic. They … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/08/20 12:36 PM |
| 2 | Wonder if guys get emailed about “penis enlargement” promos (or do only women get constant reminders for body modification)?I shaved but that wasn’t good enough and he wanted me to get waxed regularly instead 🤷♀️literally phrased as “you are going to need to get waxed”. But he also got me to remove the hair on his back because he found waxing too painful/expensive 🙄 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/08/20 09:40 AM |
| 6 | What’s Sex Like with a Narcissist10/10 initially, extremely romantic, pulling out all the stops, very giving, more like something from a romance novel than real life. Until they’ve got you at which point they stop caring about your comfort or pleasure and just use you 🤷♀️ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/08/20 08:03 PM |
| 2 | Wonder if guys get emailed about “penis enlargement” promos (or do only women get constant reminders for body modification)?My ex used to critique how I looked down there and always point out missed hairs so... may have signed him up to penis enlargement emails. They defo do exist lol. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/08/20 07:53 PM |
| 7 | Ladies I messed up. I discovered FDS too late and now I have regrets. How can I overcome these?:( I totally get how you feel. I probably spent >$600 on flights, food and date things with a man 17 years older than me who didn’t travel to me once. It’s easy to look back and just feel shame but let’s try use that to make sure it never happens again :) like other women are saying it’s better to learn this lesson now than after marriage or kids. 🙌🏼 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/08/20 06:43 PM |
| 15 | How Old Were You When You Learned the Bad Men Weren't an Extreme Minority?27... too late but better late than never! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/08/20 06:39 PM |
| 5 | If they even try to apologize...This instantly filled me with so much anger | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/08/20 09:55 AM |
| 2 | Happy to see men realising porn is negatively affecting their relationshipsOh yeah. When I first saw it it had well over 3k upvotes :/ In what other context could you watch a group of people be dehumanised repeatedly and not have that affect your thinking?? Crazy | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/08/20 10:06 AM |
| 2 | Happy to see men realising porn is negatively affecting their relationshipsOh don’t worry I didn’t think it was shade was just confused :) I love the term frequent flyers lol. Right I follow you. That’s so lols - they’ve not even considered that most porn is filmed from the male gaze, features unattractive men, sex acts like anal most women don’t find that pleasurable... wow | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/08/20 11:28 PM |
| 5 | Happy to see men realising porn is negatively affecting their relationshipsI didn’t say it was? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/08/20 11:01 PM |
| 5 | Happy to see men realising porn is negatively affecting their relationshipsGosh I mean I think everyone is different. I’ve definitely gone through weird phases where it’s been probably around that number (maybe I have an undiagnosed problem lol). But I don’t follow her argument, why does masturbation have to be through use of porn? :/ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/08/20 10:58 PM |
| 2 | Happy to see men realising porn is negatively affecting their relationshipsNot using it is technically less | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/08/20 10:00 PM |
| 19 | Happy to see men realising porn is negatively affecting their relationshipsHonestly scary to think what the outcome will be. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/08/20 06:36 PM |
| 20 | Happy to see men realising porn is negatively affecting their relationshipsYeah if you dig into it it’s shocking. Example - I naively believed the women saying “oh I love my job in porn/sex work/blah blah”. But then so many porn stars recently have come forward to say they’ve been assaulted on set, drug use is rampant, just ugh. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/08/20 03:31 PM |
| 124 | Breaking news that will shock absolutely no one: Only Fans is a shady organization.Yay to OF bankruptcy! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/08/20 02:52 PM |
| 9 | Negging?Such a neg, eww | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/08/20 02:51 PM |
| 49 | Happy to see men realising porn is negatively affecting their relationshipsGod yes it’s just unnecessary stress. Same - at 19 I thought it was normal for my boyfriend to want to choke me, spit on me, verbally berate me. I hated every single moment of it but didn’t want to be “frigid” or “vanilla”. It is horrible. At the same time I’m also aware that lots of people are now viewing porn at 12 onwards - and I’m upset for them. Imagine being 12 and exposed to this stuff and thinking it’s normal. :( sad for the women being abused, sad for the little boys being exposed to th… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/08/20 02:50 PM |
| 19 | Happy to see men realising porn is negatively affecting their relationshipsYes defo, but hopefully he’ll do some research and learn of the other problems with porn too. (and hopefully with less porn use be more respectful of women? Or is that a pipe dream 😅) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/08/20 02:45 PM |
| 22 | Happy to see men realising porn is negatively affecting their relationshipsIt’s a step in the right direction and might encourage other men in the sub to reflect. I’m not praising him but I’m hopeful for him and encouraged to see this and the 3k plus upvotes in a male sub (maybe they’ll even start researching it in more depth and learn of the ethical problems; which I was personally unaware of this time last year too.) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/08/20 02:44 PM |
| 3 | Happy to see men realising porn is negatively affecting their relationshipsOh no I’m aware of the whole nofap thing. Either way it’s a step in the right direction and might encourage other men seeing the post to pause and reflect on their own use of it | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/08/20 02:39 PM |
| 112 | Happy to see men realising porn is negatively affecting their relationshipsYep! I never really watched porn so had vague ideas on what it was all about. When I found radfem dubs talking about the majority of porn featuring degradation of women, verbal abuse/spitting/slapping etc, I went and checked it out for myself and was horrified that this is the status quo. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/08/20 11:03 AM |
| 13 | Happy to see men realising porn is negatively affecting their relationshipsI totally get that but the fact he’s written a post like this on a male sub which is probably a bit of an unpopular opinion... idk. I’m hopeful that this leads to actual change, and gets other men on that sub reflecting on the topic too. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/08/20 11:02 AM |
| 38 | Happy to see men realising porn is negatively affecting their relationshipsIdk most of us have made mistakes and realised as we’ve gotten older - I’m pleased he’s recognised it as a problem and is working on himself :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/08/20 10:40 AM |
| 3 | “Should I wait around for crumbs? He says he likes me, tho”That’s actually how I found it 🙏 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/08/20 06:42 PM |
| 10 | God love Aileen 😅Yeah for sure | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/08/20 04:18 PM |
| 41 | God love Aileen 😅Well we don’t know anything about her but probably not no. Don’t think it detracts from what she’s saying though :/ if I have savings and a good job my partner should too I hope! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/08/20 04:07 PM |
| 30 | “Should I wait around for crumbs? He says he likes me, tho”Oh these posts make me sad :( hopefully she realises and stops letting him take advantage | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/08/20 11:50 AM |
| 1 | For any fans of Gone Girl - Doctor Foster is a great drama series on Netflix/BBC with same vibeNo worries! The book is also great if you can’t find the show :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/08/20 01:32 AM |
| 2 | For any fans of Gone Girl - Doctor Foster is a great drama series on Netflix/BBC with same vibeYeah the acting was chefs kiss | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/08/20 01:18 AM |
| 1 | For any fans of Gone Girl - Doctor Foster is a great drama series on Netflix/BBC with same vibeSo crazy. Haha there were so many moments I had to pause the tv and make little screeching noises because omg wtf 😂😂 mm not sure, it was on Netflix a while back but idk if still there... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/08/20 01:18 AM |
| 1 | For any fans of Gone Girl - Doctor Foster is a great drama series on Netflix/BBC with same vibeOh yeah for sure I’m not saying she’s an aspirational human to try emulate - I’m just saying if people here liked the whole “woman who’s had enough of social norms and betrayal” it’s a pretty good watch. :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/08/20 01:17 AM |
| 20 | Comment with a 2am fuckboi emoji😈 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/08/20 07:59 AM |
| 3 | “I can’t think of a specific neg so I’m just going to keep it general.”Lmao what does that even mean. Nope | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/08/20 08:23 AM |
| 14 | could it be possible that there are women diagnosed with BPD (borderline personality disorder) who are simply wayward pickmes?Oh gosh this struck a chord with me definitely. I dated a much older man whose manipulation and mind fucks had me calling numerous times in a row crying and eventually shouting at him through voicemail. Is this normal? No. Only ever done it that one specific time my entire life. Manipulative and abusive men are crazy making. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/08/20 08:19 AM |
| 2 | Anyone else get told they’re too picky by family/friends?Yeah sure. But he was a shitbag who was 16 years older than me and lived on a boat. I don’t think there was pickiness on any level whatsoever 😅 I’m not out here looking for millionaire models... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/08/20 08:53 AM |
| 3 | LVMs confuse trauma with the consequences of their actions. Reserve your sympathy for the deserving.🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/08/20 06:21 PM |
| 1 | Was he just after sex?Sounds like an arse | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/08/20 06:18 PM |
| 24 | Unconventional red flagsOMG yes. “I can talk my way out of anything” = run | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/08/20 06:16 PM |
| 5 | Why are we so hated?Honestly not sure. There’s dating books out there saying the exact same thing and I’ve not seen any Redditors calling for them to be expunged in mass book burnings 🤔 From my point of view, this sub has been so useful in reminding me of my own self worth. If I date another abusive man, or liar and cheat, I will actually break lol. Being here amongst supportive women who’ve had similar experiences and working together to all avoid negative or low value humans seems like a net positive to me. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/08/20 06:01 PM |
| 7 | Unconventional red flagsYep, so much ick! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/08/20 05:36 PM |
| 3 | LVM that are successfulIt’s so confusing when you add the interspersed lovebombing into the mix too 😬 wishing you well in moving on, dr ramani has some great YouTube vids on the topic x | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/08/20 10:47 AM |
| 1 | Why are self-proclaimed "feminist" men so asshole-y?Genuinely think a lot of them pretend to be for the “woke” points and internally slut shame and judge. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/08/20 09:27 AM |
| 6 | LVM that are successfulLol as soon as I read about the successful career but no effort in dating I was like “hmm narc?”. Ultimately we’re just extras in their drama. They have a script in their head for how we’re meant to interact with them and when we don’t follow that script we’re chucked out. My ex was also super successful career wise and earning a lot. But he’d constantly discuss how he got there - lots of Machiavellian plotting, pushing people in front of the bus to get ahead. They’re successful in careers becau… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/08/20 09:26 AM |
| 7 | For those almost a year shy of being single- what do you Not miss? 😛Gosh. I guess: Having to plan dates because planning dates “gave him anxiety” Half those date suggestions being noped because he’d done them with his ex-wife and just thinking about being in those places again “gave him anxiety” Not having to constantly walk on eggshells or watch my words in case he blows up for some unknown reason the weird fake attempts at chivalry. 3 months into dating he randomly decided he liked walking on the sidewalk closest to the road as the man. Erm what. Happy to walk… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/08/20 09:22 AM |
| 4 | Oh wellseen When I told my ex how much he’d hurt my feelings by telling me I was socially awkward and didn’t compare to his ex, he text back “yes I’m an awful person and deserve to just kill myself, you’re right”. !?!?!! Not at all what I’d said to him. Said as much. “Nah you did”. He put his phone on airplane mode and had me, the girl he discarded pretty horribly, panicking at home and wondering whether or not to call his parents about his apparent suicidal thoughts. He was on Tinder 24 hours later lm… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/08/20 09:13 AM |
| 75 | Unconventional red flagsA social media account that is basically just selfies, videos of them doing things (playing guitar, surfing, whatever) and generally self promoting like crazy. Never overlooking that again! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/08/20 09:10 AM |
| 1 | Does this seem controlling? I’m no longer dating this guy, but he would tell me I couldn’t wear certain things or make any new guy friends and if I objected, he said that I didn’t give a fuck about him. If I thought he was being controlling he frequently called me crazy and irrationalOmg he sounds awful. I used to get these weird essay length texts spilling their heart out from my ex bf and he turned out to be an NPD nut job. Nah he is abusive and controlling. ❤️ to you | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/08/20 07:08 PM |
| 7 | Anyone else get told they’re too picky by family/friends?It’s not unrealistic at all. But do you also find successful/intelligent men claim to like intelligent women and then swiftly backtrack? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/08/20 01:03 PM |
| 3 | Anyone else get told they’re too picky by family/friends?Hahahah | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/08/20 01:02 PM |
| 7 | Anyone else get told they’re too picky by family/friends?100%. Only now I’m older am I like huh wtf people xyz years younger are kids. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/08/20 01:01 PM |
| 16 | Anyone else get told they’re too picky by family/friends?He literally got me a badge with First Mate on it. I went off the rails somewhat in my early 20s... 😅 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/08/20 01:00 PM |
| 4 | I was referred here for support and now I see why!:( I second the Lundy buncroft book someone else has recced - helped me immensely in healing and I think the pdfs are online? You’re off to a great start in a new chapter! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/08/20 02:29 PM |
| 11 | Some Scrote wrote an article on 9 ways to make your female partner orgasm annnd I dunno what to think ladies.Yeah I’ve read about that and get it - but in specific positions that is definitely not what is getting hit lol. Said dude had the cheek to suggest I had chlamydia for finding it painful 🤔 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/08/20 11:41 AM |
| 26 | I was referred here for support and now I see why!Texting suicidal thoughts... eek. Hun you’re so much better without that. Wishing you well xxx | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/08/20 11:35 AM |
| 18 | Some Scrote wrote an article on 9 ways to make your female partner orgasm annnd I dunno what to think ladies.Omg thank you! I once wrote on twox about a bad sex experience with a doctor who did this and kept telling me his ex loved it and SO many men came out of the woodwork of twox to try tell me their girlfriends/wives loved it and I was shaming people (!?). Obv pre FDS lol It’s so nice to come on this sub and see people sharing the same views without men trying to argue with them | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/08/20 10:12 AM |
| 5 | Thank you FDS🥳 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/08/20 07:16 PM |
| 23 | I keep thinking he was a HVM and I’m regretting all my actionsHey, I commented on your other post before. It’s easy to wonder if it’s all your fault and you’re to blame after a discard - but from your previous post he does sound very sketchy? He lied to you about the religion. Or at least, lied by omission. Not cool. Lies of that severity so early on are not high value. The lovebombing. Why was he lovebombing? He was either a manipulative narcissist or is able to switch his feelings on and off like a tap. Can you switch your feelings on and off? Probably n… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/08/20 07:15 PM |
| 3 | Can someone explain the idealise devalue discard cycle?As others have said sounds pretty textbook NPD! Sorry you’ve had to deal with the mindfuckery. I like Dr Ramani on YouTube, she goes into details about lovebombing, the discard, how to heal. Just know you’ve dodged a bullet, people with cluster b personality disorders like npd are way more likely to cheat, be abusive, etc... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/08/20 01:58 PM |
| 3 | Why I’m here.I’m glad you’ve escaped the trash x here’s to a better and brighter future! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/08/20 12:30 PM |
| 1 | All my ex boyfriends would get raging hard ons when I was upset and crying. Sudden realisation that this is SO FUCKED UP.Thank you I read them ❤️ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/08/20 09:02 AM |
| 29 | Never date men who self-identify as “Gamers.”Omg yes never being taken on a proper date!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/05/20 06:13 PM |
| 87 | Never date men who self-identify as “Gamers.”This has always been so difficult for me as I’ve loved video games from a young age but yeah, most men I’ve met who shared the interest have been... somewhat problematic. The vast majority have either almost fetishised the fact I do like video games (no I don’t want to blow you under the desk while you play a shooter, why on earth would I?) or judge the games I play and quiz me upon meeting to check if I’m actually into games... :/ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/05/20 05:24 PM |
| 43 | Has anyone else started to lose faith in men in general?Yep... I’d honestly estimate 80% of the men in my previous workplaces cheated on their wives/gfs. And talk about it at work. Working in a male dominated industry can be eye opening, especially when they grow used to you and “forget” you’re there and female. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/05/20 12:15 AM |
| 19 | He paid someone else to write a card, and I deflated.Is the content of the letter his own words? Or does the website do the wording? If the former I don’t think it’s that bad tbh... because the meaning is still there. It’s a bit lazy sure but if he’s that paranoid going outside well eh. Why didn’t you guys quarantine together? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/05/20 11:51 AM |
| 16 | Early signs he's no good in bed or with communicationI mean this is maybe obvious but they’re prone to going quiet/sulking for no reason. To you it feels like no reason - but you’ve done something to annoy them and they’re just not communicating. For me it was because I criticised my ex’s shooting in a video game lmao. They’re generally selfish and self centred. My ex was a narcissist and the sex was initially amazing, he put so much effort into making it great (almost like a performance?). But after two months that gave way to selfishness in bed.… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/05/20 11:48 AM |
| 12 | Going to a guys house at 2am....How old are you out of interest? Maybe you got lucky, but teenage me was very naive, grew up in the middle of nowhere, and had zero boundaries due to an abusive upbringing. I moved to a massive capital city and was raped by a much older man within 2 months of moving. Did I deserve it for having poor boundaries and “no self respect”? Women don’t deserve your judgement for having naivety, poor boundaries and possibly low self esteem. Most young women have some of those things going on... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/04/20 02:21 AM |
| 9 | I was sexually assaulted last weekend. Cautionary tale in the time of a pandemic.I’ve made peace with it now, time definitely does heal all :) Hoping for quick healing for you too, all my best x | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/04/20 02:04 AM |
| 10 | I was sexually assaulted last weekend. Cautionary tale in the time of a pandemic.Honestly it’s unlikely it would even go to court as it would be her word against his with no physical evidence... I reported a rape where I had physical evidence of vaginal and anal entry, bruises, and because he claimed it was all consensual it went nowhere. I lost my phone, Facebook account, and clothes from the event to the police for over a year. The police called my friends boyfriends (!?) to ask them about my sexual history. I also had texts from him apologising. It’s traumatic as fuck and… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/04/20 12:47 AM |
| 22 | I was sexually assaulted last weekend. Cautionary tale in the time of a pandemic.I was also really sorry to read all of the above and to hear you’re getting stick re pressing charges. Honestly I had a similar experience (getting pushed into a bedroom by a guy I barely knew and freezing but saying no etc, it’s super common) and the worst part was the police involvement. It was long, difficult, and at times made me feel as though I were being investigated. Totally understand not wanting to put yourself through that because it’s genuinely just as traumatising imo. Wishing you w… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/04/20 12:42 AM |
| 10 | Is this a red flag?No that’s fair. Do you have any mutual friends or anyone who might know more you could ask? He’s obviously given his take of the divorce but it’s just that, his take. My heckles went up a bit reading because this is classic behaviour of abusive men in the beginning. I had an ex who was similar, throwing compliments, attention and gifts, met his parents and went on holiday together super early. Long story short the lovebombing turned into negging and bad jokes, and then to outright criticism, deg… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/04/20 01:17 PM |
| 22 | Is this a red flag?I mean he might just be romantic but he might also have NPD. Lovebombing like this and not taking no for an answer is major NPD. What vibes did his ex wife give off when you got in touch? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/20 10:20 PM |
| 1 | All my ex boyfriends would get raging hard ons when I was upset and crying. Sudden realisation that this is SO FUCKED UP.<3 you deserve so much better. Good luck x | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/20 09:55 PM |
| 6 | Does this seem like a red flag?So as the above all said... but honestly the fact he’s answering your questions and not asking any back for the most part annoys me lol. Seemed like he was v much expecting you to drive the convo | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/20 11:48 AM |
| 3 | If he pays you a compliment with any reference to porn. AT ALL.That’s the one! He was the Neg Master. “You’d look dumpy if you didn’t have long legs”. Coming up to me in the pub when we were out together and being like “I didn’t realise who you were at first and was like who is this hot girl” etc etc. If this feels familiar to anyone reading please run ^^ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/04/20 10:09 PM |
| 2 | All my ex boyfriends would get raging hard ons when I was upset and crying. Sudden realisation that this is SO FUCKED UP.Eurghhhhhhhh:( | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/04/20 10:47 AM |
| 67 | If he pays you a compliment with any reference to porn. AT ALL.Yep! I got the delightful “your boobs are the best I’ve ever seen. Well, apart from the ones in porn.” Gee thanks bud | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/04/20 12:37 AM |
| 87 | All my ex boyfriends would get raging hard ons when I was upset and crying. Sudden realisation that this is SO FUCKED UP.The worst. Or they look at you like you’re insane for having emotions and expressing them. I was seeing a guy who’d said he wasn’t seeing anyone else, few months in and my gut was saying “he’s lying”. I asked him about it and he said yeah he was seeing another girl and the reason he’d stopped seeing me on weekends was because he preferred her. I started crying (lol) and he looked at me like I was insane. He then asked if there was anything to do to make me happy and moved in on me. He was obviou… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/04/20 05:24 PM |
| 31 | All my ex boyfriends would get raging hard ons when I was upset and crying. Sudden realisation that this is SO FUCKED UP.Usually but not always... I do think it was related to them being sexual sadists. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/04/20 05:22 PM |
| 16 | All my ex boyfriends would get raging hard ons when I was upset and crying. Sudden realisation that this is SO FUCKED UP.They’d almost always try it on with me, even if I was crying about a family death ahahaha. Can’t even. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/04/20 05:21 PM |
| 4 | How to deal with shame of past experiences?Side note - when I angrily called I asked why he’d lied about ever being married. He tried to gaslight me and said I’d never asked him. Mm no I did. Then he said it was just a short thing. I checked, hope, 16 years dude. Then I asked why he cheated on his wife. Apparently he didn’t, but then why is his ex wife’s Facebook account from the time talking about his cheating and leaving her for their employee? I just can’t with men. Fucking hell. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/04/20 12:55 AM |
| 6 | Man concerned his BDSM Habit is harmful in the era of #MeToo and wants to see a therapist. Rich Juzwiak: Nah Bro, BDSM is how women process patriarchy! It's cathartic for them!If this is how women process patriarchy how do minorities process any of their experiences? #confused | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/04/20 01:26 AM |
| 2 | A few fine gentlemen I’ve encountered during the past year. For your amusement 😂 long post but fun (I hope)This is fun ^^ my mistakes (I only discovered this sub a few days ago...): Guy #1, went to college with and knew through a close friend. We reconnected as he’d moved to my remote and rural hometown. Hung out as friends, slept together, and it was awful. Like rough, inconsiderate, not listening to me. He told me his ex would come 9 times from 69ing and outright told me it sounds like I have chlamydia because I didn’t like him ramming into me. Guy #2, a REAL mistake, used to work with him and he s… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/04/20 01:23 AM |
| 5 | Being single for years doesn’t mean you’re unlovable or less worthyHave you heard of NPD? Random but I had a similar situ with an ex who transformed from loving, caring and generous into a selfish, emotionally and verbally abusive dick, who revelled in making me feel like shit and dumped me by telling me everything that was wrong with me (the day after meeting his entire extended family lol). Reading this was urgh cos it seems v familiar! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/04/20 08:12 PM |
| 2 | I had to find out from his Pinterest account that he’s moved on. He gave me the silent treatment for three weeks and when I asked if he wanted to break up he said “I’m not in the right mindset to make that decision. I’m too stressed out right now. I need a clear mind” so today he got this message.That’s so bizarre. If he was trying to piss his ex off those quotes would surely be because of his relationship with you - but he’s not spoken to you in 3 weeks!? He sounds like a dickhead who’s keeping his hand on one branch while he tries to grab another... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/04/20 06:02 PM |
| 2 | Pandemic and old dates coming out of the wood workOmg yes. I had a guy I matched with on tinder TWO YEARS AGO message me out of the blue. I’d sent him my number on Tinder and he’d never reached out, or met me in person. Weird Af | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/04/20 09:08 PM |
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