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metshower Archive

View 0 posts and 184 comments by metshower on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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0

Congratulations on the 1 year solo trip! Where will you be traveling to? Where are you from? Ethnicity? How good/bad are you at meeting girls? What have you tried so far? I've found the rooshv forums to have a lot of country-specific tips, although it usually ends up pushing my expectations way too high.
/r/seduction28/01/15 10:25 AM
2

the transition period from "changing what you like to please other people" to "focusing on you" Mark Manson suggests that the way to do this is through Vulnerability. Think of vulnerability as an action and not a state of being. You can choose to be vulnerable at various moments of your life. E.g. Your girlfriend picks the last slice of cake and says "you don't mind if I eat this do you?" .. and you are about to sigh and say "sure".. but then you remember to be vulnerable/honest and so instead y…
/r/seduction18/01/15 02:00 AM
3

Not sure why this is downvoted, these are good points. Being direct can be very intimidating and forces girls to make a quick yes/no decision. Out of fear (or low confidence) they may go with No even if they think you're hot and admirable. I've been having similar issues, and I plan on being less direct at the outset. I also agree that the key is building Comfort. If she doesn't have a reason to trust you, you should probably work on that before going more direct.
/r/seduction12/01/15 09:24 AM
1

thanks
/r/seduction11/01/15 09:44 PM
1

Hey. So did you go out and try? I applaud for your intentions but I wonder if you took on too hard of a challenge... especially if you've barely been approaching prior to this. If you were barely able to make any approach, let alone 7, here are some general tips for the future: Start slower. Don't go for 7 in a day. I recently did 40 days of "1 approach a day" and that itself was hard enough. There were some days I did 2-3 approaches, and the only time I did 7+ approaches is when I was drunk in …
/r/seduction11/01/15 01:03 PM
1

Yeah, the change is internal and permanent and I love that part of it. I agree with you, it doesn't matter if it's going to take 2-3 more years, if it means I'll be a much socially healthier person at the end of it. I get what you mean about having fun. It's more to do with you genuinely having a good time than about giving the girls a good time. Very much in line with Models/InnerGame stuff. Cheers. I hope you stick around on seddit!
/r/seduction10/01/15 12:54 PM
1

Wow, I just want to say that I too am similar to OP and yourself. I went out for a couple of years, barely got any dates, got one FWB (lasted a year) and got burnt out repeatedly. I don't feel like a "newbie" either but the results aren't forthcoming. I'm still not getting dates from cold approaches. Like you, I read Models about a year ago, and although it feels like a breath of fresh air (and is much less stressful to practice) -- and although my confidence is really improving -- I still haven…
/r/seduction10/01/15 11:22 AM
1

interesting the stubbornness to the process and not the results Do you mean how we talk about "being outcome independent"? Why do you feel that way? strong opinions but they need to be weakly held Do you mean opinions while in set, or on this sub? can you explain?
/r/seduction10/01/15 03:59 AM
5

simply because she is beautiful? Implying that solely because of that, she deserves the best of the best? Great catch. We're so used to this underlying assumption that I didn't even notice until you pointed it out.
/r/seduction08/01/15 11:24 AM
2

Vulnerability. It's moments like these that really test your character. It's moments like these that can really BUILD your character. Will you choose to take the easy way out? Or will you hold yourself responsible and face the consequences? Will you deny the reality of your errors, or will you accept the facts and take ownership of it? Will you sabotage your own self-esteem by lying or will you take advantage of this moment to do the right thing and make yourself prouder of yourself than you've …
/r/seduction07/01/15 09:06 AM
3

Could you expand on 'renunciation'?
/r/seduction07/01/15 05:20 AM
5

Though I could of gotten her number I decided not to I think you chickened out from a fear of rejection, and you're using other excuses so you can feel better about yourself. If a girl is into you and you're into her (are you?) then there really is no reason not to ask her out. If she was a coworker whom you saw everyday then that would've been a legitimate reason not to date her.
/r/seduction06/01/15 11:58 AM
1

It's been hard. I met some people through meetup groups and through traveler/hiking groups. They're all right. But what I really need are guy friends who like to go drinking and meet girls. It's all luck. Meanwhile, I've also been cutting off some friends... (drawing boundaries).. usually when I realize they don't respect me anymore. It boggles my mind why people gradually lose respect for me (I think I'm a fairly confident guy). This is a good article I keep returning to: http://www.braddocksbl…
/r/seduction06/01/15 03:01 AM
2

This is a great question, and a dilemma I've had forever. It's usually a tug-of-war between two opposing ideas - "Going with the flow" vs "Living responsibly" Going with the flow: Fact of the matter is that when we haven't had sex in a few weeks/months, we're more than happy to sleep with any pussy, as long as it was easy enough to come by and nobody ever found out. But then our Egos pop up and remind us about what our peers would think, and so we walk away with heads held high. Unfortunate. So …
/r/seduction05/01/15 05:19 PM
1

I'm similar to you in my lack-of-friend-ness and new-to-city-ness. Yes, having friends can make a lot of difference in some different ways: Social proof, but this doesn't matter that much. Your confidence is more important. Also, you can always befriend random people in the bar to build social proof. It's harder to be "having fun" at a bar/club when you're by yourself. It's harder to be in a social mood if you haven't spoken to anyone in 5 days. Social circle (friends of friends you meet at part…
/r/seduction05/01/15 04:58 PM
1

A man who has issues with other parts of his game is not going to do very well regardless of how vulnerable he presents himself Yes, but that's not the point of being vulnerable. Vulnerability is just the process by which you become more self-confident. Initially, your vulnerability is going to be messy and all your insecurity will wash up on shore. You are forced to deal with that shit, which gradually makes you more and more self-confident. And that self-confidence (according to the book) is w…
/r/seduction05/01/15 02:24 PM
1

Well I didn't mean gimmicks like negs and DHVs, I meant the thing he refers to as "Honest Communication" -- he includes pointers on how to hold a conversation, anchors, story-structure, body language, etc... He also admits that Honest Communication is what guys with "game" are said to have. IMO, it's a very important pillar and it needs a ton of practice, and there are plenty of other PUAs who teach that stuff in more detail.
/r/seduction05/01/15 08:19 AM
2

I wish this was true but the vast majority of girls I meet are far from self-confident. When I'm upfront with these girls, they get intimidated and run away. Or worse, they assume I'm a chump and start playing games with me, which is a waste of my time and turns me off. Out of curiosity, what's a confident girl like you doing on a men's seduction forum? My ex used to read up on PUA stuff only because she was very insecure.
/r/seduction05/01/15 02:16 AM
1

I agree. Models seems pretty focused on filtering out a lot of girls (and being okay with doing that). So you do need a lot of quantity of opportunities. I don't think Models is good for "meat markets" though (if you mean nightclubs) because his techniques are meant for less chaotic environments where you can peacefully talk to the girl.
/r/seduction05/01/15 02:08 AM
1

(As someone else mentioned in a thread yesterday) it's not like the other PUA gurus even make an effort at finding relevant research, let alone citing them. I tend to ignore many of the wishy-washy scientific claims, so I guess I just glossed over those parts of the book. It's still a pretty solid book without it.
/r/seduction05/01/15 02:01 AM
1

"Models" is important for self-improvement but I'm not sure how well it succeeds in getting us more 'results'. I, personally, have not seen results from using Mark's concepts, although I feel tons better about myself than I used to earlier. I feel that Mark's principles helps you filter for Confident well-rounded women. But what if the vast majority of the girls you meet are low-self-esteem and have various insecurities (and you're just looking for a one night stand)? I think Models does not rea…
/r/seduction05/01/15 01:57 AM
1

people will read the law of fuck yes or on[1] ... and apply it to clubs Been there, done that. For reasons like these, I've started having doubts about Models, after being a fanboy for 1.5 years. It's not quite that simple. Another reason is that the techniques of Models seem designed to attract only the Confident girls. Well what if there are almost no confident girls in the club (who are still single) and I just want to get laid with any cute girl, even if she's insecure? A direct approach on …
/r/seduction04/01/15 05:18 PM
1

Starbucks. Cute girl sitting by herself, giving me an occasional look. Bided my time, then walked over with my coffee (she saw me coming). "Hi I just saw you sitting by yourself and wanted to say you're really cute".. "Thank you".. Exchanged names. I was still standing. I said "Are you busy, can I sit and chat for a few minutes?" (Poorly worded, and I provided her with a reason to reject me.) She said "Actually I'm about to head out". "Okay, good talking to you" and I went back. It was a lie, sh…
/r/seduction31/12/14 10:19 AM
2

You did good by calling her out on it. When she responds by denying the allegations, it's okay to give her the benefit of the doubt and lightly apologize. But now she knows that you will call her out on her BS and she will tread more carefully in the future. I suspect that you get a lot of passive-aggressiveness because people know that you never call them out on it.
/r/seduction30/12/14 09:40 AM
1

my bad
/r/seduction30/12/14 04:08 AM
2

Really depends on how much money you have to throw away. I had a lot of money to spend, so I did attend a weekend bootcamp and a 7-day 1:1 training as well (not RSD though). My feelings are mixed on it. On the one hand, it was the most amazing/intense experience of my life and I have no qualms spending money on one of the biggest priorities of my life. On the other hand, it didn't magically fix all my problems. Post-bootcamp, I practiced consistently for only 2-3 months before I lost steam, and …
/r/seduction29/12/14 03:39 PM
1

I can't help but feel like if you'd danced like she wanted you to (without hesitation or shame) then none of this would've been an issue. You would've been the guy who was "fun" and "chill" (and fearless). Instead, you refused. It's almost like you were the one who brought ego into the picture and she then followed up with her ego. (I wasn't there so maybe I'm reading this whole thing wrong.) Sometimes I feel like we get insulted too quickly and screw up an otherwise positive interaction, when w…
/r/seduction29/12/14 06:12 AM
8

I agree with this. I'm in a similar situation with friends not really caring much to hang out with me and I think it boils down to two things: I'm not being unabashedly myself. (I avoid saying things that may be confrontational or controversial). My boundaries are flexible. I'm not providing enough value (Being a good listener, being funny, expanding their social circle, introducing them to girls, organizing parties, etc). I'm usually thinking "am i gaining anything from this?" instead of thinki…
/r/seduction27/12/14 05:20 AM
1

The way I understand it, if a neutral girl turns unreceptive, she will make it very clear to you that she's rejecting you. If she's not made it clear yet, it means you haven't escalated (polarized) her enough yet.
/r/seduction26/12/14 06:01 PM
1

I'm still somewhat confused about your question but I hope the following helps. Based on my understanding of Models... Mark Mason suggests that "Vulnerability" is your main tool towards self-improvement in this area. This essentially means being more open about yourself -- your desires (opposite of apathy) as well as your insecurities (such as neediness). Practicing vulnerability is how you gradually move towards self-confidence. In the beginning, you have a scarcity mindset, you have a lot of n…
/r/seduction22/12/14 03:48 PM
1

Thanks, good read. I too tend to have those "am I too old for this place?" thoughts, and things definitely go better when I just approach girls I'm attracted to without apology.
/r/seduction19/12/14 02:54 AM
5

Give yourself permission to make a fool of yourself. The first approach will be the hardest. The second one will be easier, and the third the easiest. Be done with the first approach as quickly as possible, so you can get to the second and third ones.
/r/seduction18/12/14 06:11 PM
8

As the website admits, the gamification is for external motivation. Fundamentally no different than getting motivated to do good work because your boss is breathing down your neck, or getting motivated to do an extra work-out set because your trainer is pushing you to do so. External motivation can get you the results you need -- project delivered before deadline, quicker muscle buildup -- but when you take away the external motivator, you're the same person as you were before. Internal motivati…
/r/seduction18/12/14 06:08 PM
9

I just ask for her name again. I do this all the time since I never pay attention to names. I even think that has a positive side-benefit, it shows that you're not too invested in her.
/r/seduction18/12/14 02:07 AM
1

Every "step" of the seduction process (approach->ph#->dateSetup->escalation->apartment->gettingNaked) comes with its own fear of rejection. That's because you will feel fear every time you do something that's new to you and haven't done enough of. It sounds like you have gotten over the fear of approach rejection, but there are plenty more stages to deal with. good luck!
/r/seduction18/12/14 02:00 AM
1

Thanks for articulating my current philosophical dilemma! I've been thinking about this the past few days. I think the fuck-yes-or-no philosophy is meant to avoid the situation where you're always giving the girl the benefit of the doubt when in a grey area (which a lot of us tend to do when starting out). Last week I met a girl at a bar, we hit it off, I was escalating but through the night she was mostly being hard to get and I kept treating that grey area as forgivable ("Maybe she genuinely d…
/r/seduction17/12/14 02:12 AM
2

Models is loosely based on the fundamentals in Nathaniel Branden's "Six Pillars of Self-esteem." So if what you like about Models is the way it puts you and your self-respect first, then I would definitely recommend six pillars. Also, a large number of mark manson's blog posts are gender-neutral.
/r/seduction13/12/14 01:48 AM
1

Lots of good answers here but I'm going to throw in a book recommendation - Six Pillars of Self-Esteem (Nathaniel Branden). The author (a psychiatrist by profession) breaks down self-esteem into six essential parts: Living consciously (Being fully aware of and not disowning reality) Self-acceptance (Fully acknowledging and not disowning your attributes and flaws) Taking full responsibility and ownership for your experiences in life and your ability to change them. (Not playing the victim) Being …
/r/seduction29/11/14 05:58 AM
1

So how do I go about telling the difference between "I have a boyfriend" and "I have a boyfriend"? I tend to take their word for it, so when a girl mentions her boyfriend I figure that she's rejecting me one way or another. But I see your point that in many cases it could be that the girl wants you to take her, for whatever reason. So how can you tell whether the girl is just going to restrict herself (say) to dirty dancing and will never proceed further than that, or whether she is interested i…
/r/seduction29/11/14 05:44 AM
3

I completely agree with viksenpai. I wrote a comment trying to offer some suggestions and you just shot me down. Look, none of us can really know what's going wrong unless you really describe your life in complete detail, or unless we hang out with you for a few days to see what the deal is. You ARE doing something wrong and it's just a matter of figuring out what it is. How about you describe 3-4 of the interactions you've had with women, be as detailed as possible, and we'll take it from there…
/r/seduction28/11/14 01:54 AM
2

So what are the things you've tried? online dating? speed dating? bars? Do you try to meet girls through friends of friends? Through activity groups? meetup.com? Girls don't just fall into our laps automatically even if we've got everything figured out. Maybe we're just in the wrong part of town or our hobbies are very male-oriented. That said, I get the sense that your frustration about this is high enough that it seeps through into your interactions with women (and everyone else). The more you…
/r/seduction27/11/14 05:55 PM
2

Considering that you're just starting out, I would say focus on the hostel crowd. Aim to build a social circle quickly. Stay at each hostel for at least 3-4 days. (It takes you a day or two to feel at home). And don't seem to be trying too hard. Do your own thing, see if you can Lead people to do stuff (e.g. visiting tourist spots, planning a night of drinking, suggesting drinking games, etc). I don't have much advice about the local girls. Depending on where you're going you might have the adde…
/r/seduction26/11/14 01:38 PM
1

Wait, how exactly did she inform you about this other guy? Did she just bring it up in the middle of the conversation? What was the context?
/r/seduction25/11/14 10:04 AM
1

I've gone through phases like that, where I end up focusing on some hobby or my job performance. But invariably when I return to approaching, I realize that all those "wasted months" were caused by an underlying fear and weariness of trying to meet girls. I realize that I had just managed to go into denial the whole time, and that when I open my eyes, Of Course I want to fuck pretty girls more than anything else in the world! I can't imagine a better feeling than being naked with a girl (I'm not…
/r/seduction25/11/14 02:11 AM
1

Do it for the vulnerability.
/r/seduction25/11/14 01:32 AM
1

I understand your original question, and it's an important question. Personally, I am a very charity-minded person and I have aspirations to do something to improve the plight of poor/hungry people in the world. Am I being nice for the world's approval or for a genuine desire to help people out? I don't know, it's a good question. Here's the thing on the reacting part (and this is something I had to deal with just 2 months ago, I had a friend who did something shitty that really pissed me off). …
/r/seduction24/11/14 04:26 AM
1

youre spineless if you dont react What you're referring to is Ego. You're thinking that people without Ego are doormats. This is true for low-self-esteem people. And you're thinking that people with Ego are the second type of person, a guy who stands up for himself. On the other hand, what /u/That-GW-Guy is talking about (unshakable calm) comes from a place of strong self-confidence. A third type of person. A guy who is so satisfied with who he is that he genuinely doesn't worry much about what …
/r/seduction24/11/14 04:01 AM
1

Fair enough, maybe I misread you. To be honest, I'm in about the same place as you. I've been doing direct approaches with more ease these days but I need to improve my conversation/teasing game. From my reading of Mark Manson's stuff, I think the answer to sexual expression lies is vulnerability, being OK with showing your desires vulnerably, being polarizing. Maybe the problem is that you're not sexually attracted to the girls you're approaching (ideally you'd avoid those approaches). Have you…
/r/seduction23/11/14 04:35 AM
1

How to express sexual interest or escalate without coming off too creepy? If you say "Hey I think you're really sexy" when you're needy and low-confident, then that's creepy. If you say the same thing when you are outcome-independent and self-centered, that can turn the girl on. So, really, it depends on your inner game, and I think you have work to do on your Inner game. (most of us do). How often do you approach girls? How often do you express direct interest? How do they react?
/r/seduction23/11/14 03:45 AM
2

You have one aspect of Inner Game down pat -- being 'judging' of the girl to see if she's good enough for you, instead of placing her on a pedestal because of her beauty. There are other aspects you can still improve upon. Like being more vocal/honest/open with your opinions, including being controversial and confrontational with ease. Being a person who is very self-centered, comfortable in his own skin. Also being more comfortable with expressing your sexual desire for a girl. Ask yourself if …
/r/seduction23/11/14 02:41 AM
1

Why does it need a response? He likes a girl, she wants to hang out but isn't sure what time exactly. They'll play it by ear. Good for them.
/r/seduction21/11/14 02:40 PM
7

Yeah 7 to 8 is a leap. Some ideas for stages: Tell the girl she's friendly and ask what her name is. Shake hands while introducing yourself (physical contact) Admit that you didn't really need to go to the club/bank/post office and you just wanted to talk to her. (Going direct) Compliment a girl based on her beauty rather than her clothing/jewelry. (Going direct) Approach with this direct compliment rather than asking for a favor. Conversation: Discover 1-3 things you have in common with the gir…
/r/seduction20/11/14 01:32 AM
8

In Models, Mark Manson explains that investment is not something you control directly (as you correctly realized). You can control it indirectly by investing in yourself. The more you invest in yourself, the less invested you are in other people and their opinions. Investing in yourself = doing the things that are right for you and true to your values, e.g. working towards improving your fitness, work life, hobbies, etc. This is the same as growing your self-esteem.
/r/seduction17/11/14 11:00 AM
2

Well obviously if she's giving you eye contact, she's not going to tell you to fuck off. She's going to be open to talking to you at least a little bit. You're not going to get blown out for approaching, but you might lose her interest after that point depending on how well you hold the conversation. When I first started approaching, I used to feel much more comfortable approaching girls who did Not give me any eye contact/IOIs. I used to be shit scared of approaching girls who gave me IOIs. Wei…
/r/seduction17/11/14 10:24 AM
3

The good thing is that you're doing approaches. Keep at it, don't give up. Girls have a keen sense of knowing if a guy is desperate or not. If you come across as too needy, it's a big turn off. I've found that sometimes after the first 2-3 approaches/rejections in a night I become much less needy and things get smoother. Technically, if you're able to get girls attracted to you but you still don't get replies to your texts, the problem may be that they're not sufficiently comfortable with you. T…
/r/seduction17/11/14 04:29 AM
1

All to drive that number to this weird low-teens benchmark that I've set for myself As you say, this is a destructive way of thinking about things. You're intensely "outcome dependent." You feel like you're not at the right number that society expects of you and you're ashamed of that. If only you could reach that magical number, you could finally start to feel better about yourself. You're viewing your life as being this big beautiful pie except for this one Big Missing Piece right in the cente…
/r/seduction17/11/14 02:48 AM
1

You start getting needier as the relationship progresses, and this neediness begins to turn her off. You probably didn't have so much neediness in the beginning of this relationship so she probably feels short-changed. The trick is to keep putting yourself first even when you're in a relationship. Keep working on improving yourself and your life, and do things that make you happy. Be your best friend. Girls can sense this and will enjoy being with you.
/r/seduction17/11/14 02:27 AM
5

Have you read the stuff on the sidebar? Can you describe an example of one of these approaches/rejections? With further info, it's hard to guess. Maybe you're lacking in confidence and despite your attempt to fake it, it's showing through.
/r/seduction17/11/14 02:12 AM
2

I agree. Kino is not the only way to spice things up. You can lead the conversation in interesting directions, even sexual directions, and see if she plays along. Interesting can mean Not just agreeing with everything she says, but using the opportunity to assert your own opinions and maybe tease her about her opinions. Interesting can mean asking her crazy questions "what's the most adventurous thing you've ever done?". Interesting can mean using any excuse to turn the conversation sexual "spea…
/r/seduction16/11/14 12:05 PM
1

I get what you're saying, you need to truly let go if you're to become outcome-independent. That's a good attitude to have and improve upon. Taking a break from game for a little while may be a good thing, so you can cement this attitude. That said, you are biologically wired to want to kiss and fuck girls. Including the girl you are talking to right now. And I think you're doing yourself an injustice by trying to deny that side of you. There's a difference between desire and neediness. While ne…
/r/seduction16/11/14 07:43 AM
8

If she seems overly keen on you, it's probably better to lay it out right now. "I find you really attractive but I'm not looking for anything serious, and I thought you should know that"
/r/seduction14/11/14 07:48 AM
1

Just an alternate point of view... If you have never confronted your friends and drawn boundaries, then you should ask yourself if your self-esteem is too low to tell them what behavior you find acceptable/unacceptable. Drawing boundaries is a healthy thing and increases your self-esteem. If you have vocalized your boundaries but your friends still consistently ignore them, then you have a problem, your friends don't respect you. It's not healthy (for your self-esteem) to be in the company of pe…
/r/seduction14/11/14 07:32 AM
1

Yes, a few years ago. Adam Lyons bootcamps. Fri night: Lecture about basic openers, went out to a bar and we were challenged to get at least one phone number (without worrying about attraction) Saturday: Full day of lecture/theory about attraction, conversation, etc. Went out to a bar for 4-5 hours. In-field, there was one coach for every 4 students, pushing us into sets, giving feedback, etc. Sunday: More lectures, theory, and Day game for 3-4 hours. Wrapping up lectures, and they try to sell y…
/r/seduction14/11/14 06:11 AM
1

I used to get a glass of sprite, looks just like a vodka drink, makes me feel less awkward.
/r/seduction13/11/14 01:40 AM
5

My guess is that this girl was insecure, and when you seemed uninterested in having sex, she concluded that you were not attracted to her physically. By the fourth date, she seems to have made up her mind (choosing to reject you first before you rejected her). Then you failed to take the hint, and kept asking her out every week, so she intentionally said "yes" and flaked on you so that you would get a stronger hint. The facebook post was probably not meant to be romantic, just friendly or as a p…
/r/seduction10/11/14 03:58 PM
3

I used to feel this same negativity about nerdiness until I started working with some software engineers who (without realizing it) totally changed my opinion. There were a bunch of them who were true nerds/geeks but there was one guy in particular that I think of when I say this -- It is totally possible to be a confident respected kickass NERD. This guy was an amazing programmer and super intelligent. But he also loved board games and had a collection of 20-30 of them. He organized a weekly bo…
/r/seduction10/11/14 12:25 AM
1

I have dry eyes, I use extreme-h20 contact lenses. Ask your doctor about it today!
/r/seduction10/11/14 12:15 AM
1

Manila
/r/seduction10/11/14 12:06 AM
3

Game + low self-esteem hasn't worked for me, I run out of steam after a while. I've been working on inner game and self-esteem issues through other ways. Anyway, it's just occurred to me that you can use your 'unpleasant' experiences to improve your self-esteem... because you're basically discovering your insecurities. Write these down, make a list of all your insecurities, and try to figure out why you have each of those. Psycho-analyze yourself, going back to your childhood memories. The aim f…
/r/seduction09/11/14 02:07 PM
2

If you show interest in a girl with the mindset of "please don't reject me" then that's needy. If you show interest with the mindset of "I want you but it's okay if you don't want me" then that's not being needy. The difference in your attitude is huge, but the difference in behavior is very subtle. E.g. when you're not needy, your body language will be stronger, your tone of voice will be stronger, and girls can tell the difference. When texting, it's much less obvious, and you can sometimes ge…
/r/seduction09/11/14 11:48 AM
1

Well, fwiw, many times a girl will get attracted to you because of your boldness, even if she's too scared to react positively the first time. From what you're saying, it sounds like you have a shot with this girl if you approach her again. (This is generally called a "pre-opener" wherein you first get yourself noticed by the girl and later go in for the real approach.) It should be easier this second time around because she's warmed up to you. I don't know what you mean about the rivalries, but…
/r/seduction08/11/14 07:48 AM
5

As you know, you're really stuck in your head. Your self-analysis is correct but it's pointless to theoretically figure it out. The only solution is to start Doing, to start implementing. There's no way to "out-think" fear. You have to do the actions, the scary stuff, in order for the fear to go away. Trying to get over this oneitis problem by acquiring Inner game is like trying to fix a broken shelf by first studying 4 years of mechanical engineering... it's great to have inner game but it's ba…
/r/seduction08/11/14 04:04 AM
1

why do you feel it's shitty advice?
/r/seduction08/11/14 02:59 AM
0

I know it's not easy in a conservative country and really your goal should be to move a better country. But while you're stuck there, I think your best bet is to somehow get with the cool kids, and I'm not talking about professional PUAs, I just mean guys who started off like you but are way more advanced. It's going to be difficult finding them, I know. Also generally speaking not all outer-game techniques will work right off the bat across cultures. Your approaches will have to be attuned for …
/r/seduction07/11/14 02:29 PM
2

First of all, are there PUAs in your country who are succeeding? Even if a google search doesn't return results, I guarantee there are guys pulling girls, at least in the bigger cities, you just don't know about it because things are kept very discrete (being a conservative country). Your best bet is to seek out guys who are more advanced than you and hanging out with them or learning from them. A corollary of that is that there are girls out there who are DTF, and you just don't know or hear ab…
/r/seduction07/11/14 02:11 PM
3

Sounds to me like she was interested in you but since nothing happened on those two dates she lost interest, or she thought you only wanted to be friends. And I'm guessing that you are good looking or attractive (funny? charming?) without even realizing it. Why else would a girl be so into you just 1 week after she met you? I think it may be too late for you with this girl. Most of us on this subreddit have made this same mistake of not striking when the iron was hot, mostly out of fear of rejec…
/r/seduction06/11/14 02:55 PM
1

There's this book I read several years ago called "Feel the Fear and Do it anyway".. I recommend it. The basic premise of the book is that the ONLY way of getting over the fear of doing any particular thing... is to do that thing. Then the fear goes away. Essentially, you will have to do the scary thing WHILE you're feeling the fear. Don't wait for the fear to go away before you do something because then you'll just wait forever.
/r/seduction06/11/14 02:45 PM
1

Even if you do get into a relationship with her, she will eventually realize you're utterly needy and desperate, she will resent you for getting into a relationship with her and will break up with you (if she has any self-respect.) What's even more crucial, is that other girls will be able to smell your desperation (even if they didn't know about your ugly girlfriend) because your own brain now knows that you're willing to stoop low for the sake of sex/relationship and you will give yourself awa…
/r/seduction06/11/14 01:53 PM
6

Sounds to me like she's changed her mind about you. If she's not playing games, she looks like she's lost interest, and it's time for you to move on. If she IS playing games, then she's the kind of girl who plays games, and after you figure out how to out-manipulate her at her own game, you will be stuck dating a girl who plays games. (You deserve better.) To make things super simple for yourself, assume that her behavior is her truth. She cancelled the date and gave no explanation for a week. L…
/r/seduction06/11/14 12:01 PM
1

First of all, people of the same ethnicity tend to assume that they understand each other better and have the same experiences growing up as compared to people of other ethnicities. Asians growing up in a western world (or Asians who recently moved to the western world) are very likely to be facing similar problems and having similar life stories. They just get each other better, or at least they assume they do when they see another of the same color. The asian girls have way more "comfort" with…
/r/seduction05/11/14 05:47 AM
1

This is what I tend to do too but it's actually Level 2, not level 3. When you say "your loss", it's your ego that is saying "she was not worth my time anyway". In level 3, you would accept that you're disappointed, and recognize that it's probably a loss for both of you (or possibly just you), and you would maybe try to see if it's not some simple logistical issue that can be solved. Maybe you came on too strong, or maybe she's nervous wearing that dress. Maybe she has a prejudice against your …
/r/seduction29/10/14 02:11 AM
2

That's awesome, I came to this same conclusion on my own a week ago... Level 1: Low self-esteem; Low ego -- Being a doormat Level 2: Low self-esteem; High ego -- Trying to do high-self-esteem behaviors but revealing your low self-esteem. Level 3: High self-esteem; Low ego -- Genuinely not caring, effortlessly taking the high road, being generous. And yes I agree that noobs should be careful with it. Because the "low ego" of Level 3 will look almost like the "low ego" of Level 1, except for subtl…
/r/seduction28/10/14 12:37 PM
1

I agree. Outer game on its own was the wrong approach, you end up practicing all these outer behaviors without any "inner" thing supporting or bolstering those behaviors. I "converted" to inner game about a year ago, and what I'm figuring out now is that Inner game alone is also not the right answer. I'm ready to bring back some outer-game techniques and see what happens.
/r/seduction18/10/14 02:01 AM
1

so much poon I'd love for this to be true, and I'd love to hear from someone who gets laid a ton based on purely Inner Game (assuming they previously had very little outer game or natural game). I am doing okay with Inner game but I've had experience with outer game in the past, so I wonder how much of my success I can attribute to inner game itself.
/r/seduction17/10/14 04:26 PM
2

I'm halfway through 6pillars too, it's amazing. I loved Mark Manson's boundaries article too (I discovered it 2 months ago and have it memorized). I've drawn some significant boundaries too, cutting off some "friends" whom I realized were not friends at all. People who clearly didn't respect me. I also strongly confronted an ex who did something shitty and tried to pretend like it was not her fault (Mark Manson: "Don't take responsibility for other people's actions/emotions"). These people have …
/r/seduction13/10/14 11:51 AM
1

It's not like we get to hand out resumes about how we make six figures and play piano. I had this same exact dilemma about inner game a year ago. I was hanging out one evening with this cute girl (and another guy) and over the evening I tried to casually mention all the awesome things in my "resume" (which look great on paper). End of the night, she ditched us both to hang out with a third random guy who was much worse off on paper than me (but who seemed to have a calm confidence about him). I …
/r/seduction12/10/14 04:42 PM
1

I agree about Mark Manson, and since reading the book, I've found that several small experiences in my life (such as the experience you had with this girl) remind you that there is truth in MM's philosophy. You touched upon how you helped this girl open up to you. However, I feel like the greatest thing about the Models attitude is that it encourages you to open yourself up to a girl. It's not just about the girl's insecurities that matter (that's just an afterthought). The awesomeness is in dis…
/r/seduction19/09/14 05:31 AM
2

(As a Mark Manson fanboy, I'm curious) - What are the other philosophies/resources you're into that you would recommend to others?
/r/seduction19/09/14 05:25 AM
1

In Models, Mark talks a lot about Demographics, and finding a demographic that works for you. What are your hobbies? Where are the high school girls with those hobbies hanging out? Can you explore your hobbies outside of school and meet people that way? Also: is there anything that "dumb HS girls" enjoy that you can try and force yourself to appreciate better, e.g. in music? romance novels? fashion? I mean, actually putting in the effort to appreciate those better.
/r/seduction17/09/14 11:42 AM
1

Cool. Honesty is good. The next thing you need to do is be honest when you see a girl you're attracted to. Walk up to her and say you think she's attractive. You'd be honest not only to her but also to your own desires.
/r/seduction14/09/14 06:47 PM
1

just "thank you"
/r/seduction14/09/14 04:50 AM
4

They changed plans without asking for your opinion first? Is that the way you want them to continue treating you? Draw the line, be independent, show them that you can make your own choices. Go with the other group, and heck, invite your friends to join if they want.
/r/seduction14/09/14 04:35 AM
1

is it ever a good idea? yes if you're a really confident person with high self-esteem and genuinely like her and don't mind much if she rejects you right away. Also yes if you are low-self-esteem and simply infatuated with a girl from a distance -- in this case, it's good practice to grow the balls to tell a girl you like her, and it's also good to be rejected quickly, so that you can move on, and also learn that rejections don't kill you.
/r/seduction14/09/14 04:29 AM
1

When I was into outer game (especially indirect game) I used to feel really worried about girls finding out. If a girl identified me as a PUA, that would've been the most embarrassing thing ever. Nowadays, I'm into inner game... and... really there's nothing to be ashamed about. In fact most girls would encourage you. I've also "gotten over" my outer-game phase, and I acknowledge it as an important phase of my life but one that is behind me. I have cut my ties with it but I wouldn't let anyone (…
/r/seduction14/09/14 04:21 AM
2

(You deleted your comment but I'll add this anyway...) The problem is that you are way too invested in what that person thinks of you. That is not healthy, especially when that person is probably invested in you much less. You are tying your own self-worth to what someone else thinks of you, and that's no good. The way to fix this is to increase your own self-esteem, and you do that by investing in yourself. You've heard it before. Hit the gym, fix your job, make sure you're living in line with …
/r/seduction13/09/14 03:21 PM
2

Also: You need to be completely okay with her saying Nope and walking away.
/r/seduction13/09/14 02:48 PM
1

having become the self-confident person I should be The fact that you still care so much about what your ex thinks of you shows that you are far from being the self-confident person you could be. If you were truly self-confident, you would not hold onto these petty small-minded grudges. You would recognize them for being truly insignificant and you would've moved on to bigger things in life. You would accept that yes you were a lousy boyfriend, you would take responsibility for your faults. As f…
/r/seduction13/09/14 02:46 PM
5

The best way to stop giving a fuck about other people is to start giving a fuck about yourself even more. Fix the things in your life (outside the bar) that are still broken. If you were really happy with your life, you wouldn't be jealous of the guy, you would admire him.
/r/seduction13/09/14 02:28 PM
1

Becoming aware of your insecurity is a huge first step. Congratulations. The second step is to just put yourself in the same insecure situation again, on purpose, fully knowing and accepting that you're really insecure about it. Before that point, you could of course do your homework... Analyze exactly what went wrong, and what steps you can take (now and in the future) to mitigate those problems. Do a best-effort job at addressing the problems that are fixable, and ignoring the ones that are no…
/r/seduction13/09/14 11:53 AM
1

You sound like a hopeless case! :) Here's the good news -- no matter how much you believe it, this girl is not the "most amazing woman" you can meet. Moreover, a few years from now, you will look back and laugh about it yourself. However, it's going to take a lot of work for you to grow up. It's going to be a gradual process. The biggest thing you need to change is your relationship with "Fear". Right now you think of fear as something to run away from. I used to be that way too, because that's …
/r/seduction13/09/14 11:39 AM
2

Any counter-arguments for reading this book? (I did just the order the book but I'm curious.)
/r/seduction30/07/13 06:08 PM
2

This is the only actionable practical response in this entire thread. I've read (and tried) similar things from a self-help NLP book I read a couple of years ago. Disassociation actually works! It sounds weird but it's the quickest way of snapping out of it. Other techniques I read about include: Replay the whole scenario in your head, while playing a funny musical tune in your head. E.g. it could be music from your favorite comedy (I love using the theme from Curb Your Enthusiasm), or it could …
/r/seduction28/07/13 01:23 PM
2

Do you genuinely feel bored, or are you just worried about seeming like a boring person to other people? You're not living your life for the approval of other people, so don't let that trip you. If you're working on self-improvement (and you believe you're on the right path) then there's nothing wrong with treating that as the most important thing for you. I think your question is more about Balance though. Here's a hack that worked for me -- give yourself some "time off" from all your responsib…
/r/seduction25/07/13 11:49 PM
2

Um, ignore that guy. The "inner game" answer to your question is that you should stop believing that being good with women is important. Try to convince yourself that your life is full and complete without women (by putting your own happiness first, by working on improving yourself, by gaining your own self-respect), aka inner game. It's not important that you already have enough money (or fitness), but it's important that you're working towards those things that you value. Meanwhile, while you'…
/r/seduction25/07/13 07:04 PM
10

Thanks OP, this is a great FR. I want to point out something to the AFC readers out there (and not to you OP), especially regarding Approach 2 (the awkward HG8)... It's quite clear that this person did a number of things wrong (and if you were in his shoes, you might've made the same mistakes). The important thing is that this guy put himself out there, went to a club, approached women, and tried to stay in the set for as long as he could. It might even have been the best night of his life. If s…
/r/seduction24/07/13 02:14 AM
12

Outer game is not restricted to "canned games, cheesy openers and routines" -- that is a false dichotomy. There is a lot of outer-game stuff you can learn about how attraction works, how comfort/rapport works, how sexual escalation works. You can learn those concepts and actually practice them. Outer game isn't just about canned openers and shouldn't be dismissed as such. Here's my analogy -- if you want to learn to play the guitar, do you buy a guitar and start playing on the streets, filled wi…
/r/seduction19/07/13 01:32 PM
4

Seddit tends to upvote anything to do with Inner game. I'm all for inner game and I think it's very important. However, we tend to diss outer game, which is a real concern. Inner and Outer game are equally important and tend to bolster each other. Good inner game creeps into your outer game, and good outer game creeps into your inner game. The way reddit is designed, you will probably never see specific outer game tactics upvoted to the top, so read up elsewhere.
/r/seduction13/07/13 12:52 AM
1

:P I'm not questioning the overall philosophy. I'm just seeing this article being taken the wrong way and encouraging people to chicken out of difficult sets. At least, this is not the advice I want to hear for my stage of development. I want more people telling me to keep pushing, to approach like an animal, to push past my boundaries even when I feel I've reached the limit. As a coach, how often do you see students bailing out of a set Too Early, rather than Too Late? I had a coach who kept as…
/r/seduction31/05/13 07:21 PM
1

I see what you mean but you seem to be skipping over the whole learning phase wherein you face your fears, get rejected a lot, learn from failures, rack up experiences and eventually through practice become a better seducer. Your article seems to be claiming that all you need to do is turn on this switch in your head and then you don't really need seduction skills all that much because you'll automatically end up in bed with girls. This may work for outgoing people or for people with large socia…
/r/seduction31/05/13 06:20 PM
1

I think this is good advice for those who are struggling to get out of someone's friend zone. It may even be good advice for those who already have good seduction skills and now need to slow down and find a good pace. I think this is bad advice for those who are still learning to approach women and score dates. The very act of approaching is itself desperation. Most sets you approach will want to eject you immediately. It is your job to plow through and hook the set, and chat up the target until…
/r/seduction31/05/13 06:52 AM
1

I haven't really tried this but how about verbal sexual escalation? Start taking the conversation towards sexual topics, use sexual words, get her turned on by your words instead of your touch.
/r/seduction30/05/13 08:25 AM
1

If this was "sales BS" it would sound more like "Pickup is easy if you do what I say"... instead, this article basically says pickup is harder than you think. I found many parts of it eye-opening.
/r/seduction29/05/13 04:06 PM
2

I agree. Just adding in my own experience - A couple of years ago, I was going through a depressive stage myself. I wasn't making new friends and worse, I was losing friends that I did have. Then I went on a vacation and for a week I went out every night trying to approach girls. I had barely got in 10 approaches and rejections before I completely ran out of steam. Then I was completely depressed for a few months after. My takeaways -- (1) Work on yourself first. To me, this would mean spending …
/r/seduction26/03/13 08:51 PM
1

Since nobody's mentioned this yet -- Your best bet at learning to be funny is to be best friends with people who make you laugh. Hang out with them all the time. Over a period of time, you begin to predict their jokes, and then pretty soon you'll be making them laugh. (Or at least that's what happened to me.) Others have mentioned comedy tv.. but I would add - try to find a comedy series that has several seasons (e.g. Friends, That 70s show, BigBangTheory). The kind of shows that have laugh-trac…
/r/seduction22/12/12 05:32 AM
1

Yeah, read up on conversation threading. And keep making approaches, eventually the fear will go away.
/r/seduction22/03/12 12:27 AM
5

I did some approaches when I was down in Brazil (without much success) but here's a couple of thoughts: South american guys tend to be more aggressive / direct-game-y. So, women are used to that. They may mistake your indirect-game to be disinterest. Escalate faster. (I read this on some PUA blog.) Don't be apologetic about your English. Avoid speaking in Spanish, since that tends to make you beta. Force them into your frame. (That said, do show interest in their language and throw out some word…
/r/seduction21/03/12 09:51 PM
1

Good job busting through AA. I should have left long before No, you did a great job staying in set for 20 minutes despite awkwardness. Aim to stay in sets longer, despite awkwardness. Most of us make the opposite mistake, of ejecting too early. Especially at this early stage of learning pickup, you should force yourself to stay in set until explicitly rejected by the girl. Good luck.
/r/seduction21/03/12 08:14 PM
1

I respect that. They shouldn't have spammed users, that's not cool. Still, we're out here to do much bigger things that to decide which subreddit is the true subreddit. That just seems so much sillier than, say, actually going out and approaching girls. Let's try and focus on what's important. I feel seddit has a lot of potential, as ThrowawayPUA alluded to elsewhere. There are a lot of guys who need help, and I'm happy to help them out. If some advanced users feel the need to split apart into a…
/r/seduction18/03/12 11:07 AM
2

Happens. Try again with more girls and you'll eventually get it. Hope you've already studied the sidebar on the right.
/r/seduction18/03/12 05:26 AM
6

This post better belongs in /r/askseddit
/r/seduction18/03/12 05:22 AM
7

I like both the subreddits. Can we all be adults and skip all this drama? Sure, they spammed your users (myself included), but is that really so bad? Maybe there's a place for both of these subreddits to coexist peacefully.
/r/seduction18/03/12 05:16 AM
3

I can't stop you from believing what you want to believe. This is my opinion (and also the opinion of the majority of the PUA and seddit community) -- looks matter to an extent. Beyond that, it's much more Effective (and important) to improve your conversational and general seduction skills. In your post, you didn't mention any seduction skills, so I assume you're lacking in those. Looks can't make up for the lack of these skills (girls will lose interest in you quickly) but often these skills c…
/r/seduction17/03/12 10:51 PM
2

read the sidebar on the right -->
/r/seduction17/03/12 10:45 PM
1

/r/askseddit
/r/seduction17/03/12 10:40 PM
3

Balloons_lol has good advice. I would just add that you're placing a lot of importance on your looks, you're making the assumption ("limiting belief") that it's only the great-looking guys that get the girls. Don't let me stop you from improving your physical looks. But I would like to suggest that it is more effective (and also easier) to improve your game skills... start making approaches, learn how to build attraction, do kino, etc, ... My gut feeling is that this is your weakest link in the …
/r/seduction17/03/12 10:35 PM
3

http://paddynotpatty.com/
/r/seduction17/03/12 10:22 PM
6

/r/askseddit
/r/seduction17/03/12 09:58 PM
1

Referring to my PUA books on the subject.. lemme see.. cold sores... Yes, here it is, go out and have fun!
/r/seduction17/03/12 09:57 PM
3

/r/askseddit
/r/seduction17/03/12 09:55 PM
1

It's a fair question. Looking back at my early years, these are some of the things I did: I set up online dating profiles, messaged some girls, didn't get any replies (but got acclimatized to rejection by internet women). I set up a profile on a hot-or-not like site where you could also freely write comments (without friending the person first)... I spent a lot of time trying to think of witty things to say, and I gradually started getting replies, and then gradually started getting sexual (but …
/r/seduction17/03/12 04:26 AM
1

After having built all that interest and attraction, you could easily have afforded a couple of minutes of boring conversation, nothing bad would've happened. E.g. "Where are you from?" "How do you know each other?"
/r/seduction17/03/12 12:10 AM
1

First of all, the majority of people discouraging you on this thread (and upvoting those comments) are women, who lurk seddit just to pounce upon threads like this. The rest are AFCs who have had much less success than you and are still uncomfortable with the concept of seduction. Only a small handful of guys on this thread are actually better than you, and they didn't discourage you. In that moment, she wasn't uncomfortable and was all giggly This is exactly what I suspected! See, your post did…
/r/seduction16/03/12 10:42 PM
3

Sorry to hear your story, man. It's the classic friendzone story, only very well written! Seriously, this should be a separate post, for other guys in friendzones to read. Please do consider!
/r/seduction16/03/12 08:15 PM
1

don't be discouraged by this outpouring of negativity... you did fine. next time you'll do better. Seddit is unfortunately not the right forum for potentially controversial stuff. Looking forward to more FRs from you in the future.
/r/seduction16/03/12 06:25 PM
3

I hate to see you wasting so much time over this girl. And I barely know you!
/r/seduction15/03/12 05:36 AM
4

Here's my blunt opinion: It's practically impossible for you to get out of this situation "smoothly" without her throwing a tantrum over it. She's going to confront you about it and ask you what's up. So, my sincere advice to you, is to sit down and have a serious talk with her. I'll give you two options: (a) Tell her you need a break from your friendship with her, to sort out some things in your life. Do NOT explain any further. Just make it clear that it's going to be a long time, and make it …
/r/seduction15/03/12 05:20 AM
2

and show her directly why she should want me. Nope. Trying to get her jealous and portraying yourself as a sexual person should happen after you break away from her and stay away for a couple of years. Trying to do that now will get you in the same spiral that themoor was referring to.
/r/seduction15/03/12 05:01 AM
3

Fear of rejection. What if the guy decides she's just too boring or something?
/r/seduction11/03/12 02:38 AM
7

OTOH. When we guys approach a girl and get rejected, we know she's only rejecting our approach and technique. It's not as bad as being rejected for who you are. I imagine when women get rejected, it's after a few dates, after the guy has gotten to know her -- so she's getting rejecting for who she really is. :/
/r/seduction11/03/12 02:35 AM
2

Also, learn how to talk passionately about the things you enjoy doing. Why are you passionate about coding? Is it the joy of Creating something out of nothing? The joy of flipping the switch and seeing something take a life of its own? The desire to make the world a little better than it was before?
/r/seduction10/03/12 08:22 PM
5

Your English is pretty good. If it's just a mispronunciation or grammatical mistake once in a while, it's no big deal at all. It's in your head. If you feel inferior when you mispronounce something, that is a big deal. Stop feeling inferior. (This is the advice I'm giving myself because I have a similar sense of language inferiority.) If your language is truly bad, then yes that's a DLV. You'll need to make up for it with confidence and body language. Speak confidently. Allow horrible grammar to…
/r/seduction09/03/12 09:01 PM
3

I see. I don't think deleting facebook is good advice to someone who is already feeling lonely. I would at the most say Block facebook, so you don't have to re-add all your friends when you eventually feel like socializing again. I will agree that it's best to avoid FB while in your depression. From personal experience, I feel that FB makes you feel even more left out than you actually are, especially when you're too depressed to update your own status or even comment on other people's statuses.
/r/seduction09/03/12 04:39 AM
1

I'm curious why you recommend deleting your facebook account.
/r/seduction09/03/12 03:01 AM
1

This is probably not good for someone who's still learning pickup. The temptation to eject yourself from an uncomfortable set is already too high. Instead, trying to stay in the set well beyond your comfort level is what will help you to learn pickup quicker. Even if the set is going good, I feel there are better more-efficient ways of DHVing / building attraction without resorting to walking away. Why risk losing the set to someone else?
/r/seduction08/03/12 05:07 AM
4

Find some other girls to hang out with. It will make you less needy/dependent on Ashley which might make her more interested in you you may find some other girl X who's much better than her.
/r/seduction07/03/12 10:32 PM
5

Sounds like she's already rejected you. If you want a clearer rejection, you should directly tell her that you're interested in her and see what she says.
/r/seduction07/03/12 10:15 PM
1

Try taking her to a bar that you're already comfortable with, or doing things that are already familiar to you. It would increase your confidence and let you be the leader. If you're not comfortable in clubs/dancing, ask yourself if you really want to go there (of course, the dancing can be crucial kino). Consider taking her to a wine bar or a sophisticated setting (where you're comfortable) but is new to her.
/r/seduction07/03/12 08:46 PM
10

Take a short break. Take your mind off of game. Meet up with your regular friends, have fun with your hobbies. Chances are you'll soon be itching to make approaches again.
/r/seduction07/03/12 08:38 PM
5

If you're really pretty maybe you should try to dress down so you don't seem too intimidating. Also, people who go to bars in certain neighborhoods tend to be more down-to-earth and conversational, and will assume you're the same. Avoid clubs unless you're aiming for 1-night stands. When going out, I'd suggest going out with 2 other girlfriends (unless you have the balls to go out by yourself). If you go out with just 1 other friend, you'll be constantly occupied talking to her, and men will hes…
/r/seduction06/03/12 05:32 PM
1

About the time constraint.. Isn't it a DLV that your friend cancelled on you? How do you phrase it when the "cancellation" happens?
/r/seduction06/03/12 01:36 AM
3

Start facing your fears more often. If you feel afraid of doing something, that's your cue to do it. Start small. A couple of weeks ago I went skiing (I'm not very good) but I did scary things all day long. I felt super alpha for a whole week after.
/r/seduction02/03/12 05:14 AM
2

Yes. Your closest friends don't realize they're slowing down your progress. Have a chat. Be honest. If they are true friends, they will not only be more open to who you want to be but they will also support you and push you forward in your chosen direction. Personally, my brother has always been very supportive of me and my decisions. What surprised me recently was that I could even get my parents to come around and accept me, and even support me. The people closest to you truly want what's best…
/r/seduction25/02/12 06:20 AM
2

This is an approach I often take. When you return from your break you'll find it's a little easier to assert your new self and not get sucked back into their frame of you.
/r/seduction25/02/12 06:11 AM
0

Ok, I don't know why you're getting downvoted to hell, but I don't care and I'm guessing you don't either. Thank you so much for taking the time to share your advice. Before you go away, I have some questions regarding motivation. How long did it take you to get where you are today? What was your path like? Was it short bursts of practice that helped you level-up? Or was it a steady gradual improvement? How did you keep yourself going? Clearly, you not only "got back up" after all your failures …
/r/seduction25/02/12 05:01 AM
0

Stop it. I have only one upvote to give.
/r/seduction24/02/12 07:55 AM
2

Some of the quotes I liked: About skill At some point you have to acknowledge that just because you once were something doesn’t mean that you remain that way for life with no maintenance. ... I knew that I lost my ability to approach, but I assumed that I still had this level of conversational proficiency. I was wrong. This is what happens when you rest on your laurels. About pickup Being able to proactively approach girls in everyday life and attract them is extremely difficult. I don’t have an…
/r/seduction21/02/12 12:07 AM
1

Actually I don't have enough personal experience with k-closes in the field, so use your own judgement. The PUA who gave me this advice was interested in f-closes, and saw k-closes as merely a tool to raise the attraction. So, a drawn-out make-out session (in a bar where you can't f-close) would be the wrong thing to do. I agree with this, theoretically.
/r/seduction20/02/12 10:25 PM
3

Thanks for the links! This is the most relevant seddit post for me since I discovered seddit a month ago.
/r/seduction20/02/12 10:15 PM
3

That's some good Science right there.
/r/seduction17/02/12 09:11 AM
1

Yup, I agree with this. Your original post seemed to suggest that all you needed to do was disengage. (I used to make this mistake myself). But you do indeed need to reengage again at some point, and use all the attraction-building stuff you learned in the meantime with other girls :)
/r/seduction17/02/12 02:08 AM
3

It's a funny video. Although I agree with what you say about the friendzone, putting a girl in the 'strangerzone' is the wrong way to go about fixing the situation. Chances are, the two of you will just drift apart and before she starts missing you, some other guy would swoop in and sweep her off her feet. The correct fix, instead of reducing friendship, is to increase attraction. You build attraction using one of the several ways mentioned everywhere (teasing, negs, push-pull, kino, etc etc). I…
/r/seduction16/02/12 08:45 AM
3

Yes I do think it was worth it. Money wasn't much of an issue for me though. Still, I was hesitant about giving away money to the "PUA industry" since they were clearly pricing it high to take advantage of me. In the end, I reminded myself that pick-up was one of my highest priorities, and if I could afford it, it was stupid of me to not jump for it. My game definitely improved. But TBH it didn't last long for me. I went sarging for a couple of months but then lost steam. I had issues with my jo…
/r/seduction15/02/12 11:15 PM
3

I used to live in India although I didn't try gaming there. I would say go indirect (i.e. be friendly rather than flirty). You're doing good with the openers but you're having a problem with 'transitioning' (i.e. changing the topic to something unrelated to your opener) so maybe read up more on that. My sense is that indian girls definitely admire a guy who's got balls, so you're doing good there!
/r/seduction15/02/12 06:13 PM
2

I find this hard too and I don't have an easy solution for myself. I've started reading this self-improvement book that uses NLP techniques (yeah I bought it without realizing it was a self-improvement book!). It has a few techniques/tricks you can use to reprogram your brain. I'm still working my way through the book.
/r/seduction15/02/12 05:55 PM
29

The AMA was actually much better than I expected. A lot of interesting insights. Thanks for the summary!
/r/seduction15/02/12 05:52 PM
3

I feel the biggest thing I gained from it was knowing what area of pickup was important to focus on as a beginner and what could be ignored until later. E.g. focus on conversation skills (conv threading, find commonalities, etc), don't worry about text game, aim for Day2s instead of same-night lays etc. I think they mentioned the 3-second rule briefly. But in general, AA was not the focus. In the field, they would tell you to open a set and you'd just have to open the set. They pushed you. (Sugg…
/r/seduction15/02/12 05:41 PM
3

I've attended a bootcamp with puatraining. I'm glad I did. I wish I'd done it earlier. Did you have any specific questions about bootcamps?
/r/seduction15/02/12 08:55 AM
2

I see the whole sexualization as a good freebie. I'd focus on building rapport, making them comfortable with you, and avoiding sexual topics (since that's already at the back of their minds because of the venue). If you get a date, then feel free to escalate there.
/r/seduction13/02/12 11:36 PM
12

I usually don't drink when I go out (I just get a coke or whatever) even though I love alcohol. AA is pretty bad the first few times you do this. But I believe the best way to get over AA is.. to accept the AA and do approaches anyway. It gets better, and soon you won't be feeling any AA. And then girls start asking you why you're not drinking and you say you're just here to meet new people, and they give you upvotes.
/r/seduction13/02/12 12:28 AM
6

okay. Another option (if you're trying to get into the set) is to change the focus to them - "Yeah I'm by myself. What about you guys? How do you know each other?"
/r/seduction08/02/12 09:16 PM
1

Has someone said that to you? Hasn't happened to me yet. If they ask you where your friends are, simply say you're here by yourself. Nothing wrong about it. No need to explain. edit: typo
/r/seduction08/02/12 05:33 PM
7

She mentioned him more than once when we were together I'm not an expert but this seems like a bad sign. It bothers me that she'd mention it to you. If she talked about it a lot, then it seems like she's thinking of you as a good friend she can confide in. (aka the friend zone). In that case, I would recommend taking a break from meeting her so you can return a few weeks/months later and try again. Simply put, you're making her very comfortable with you (which is good) but you're failing to make…
/r/seduction06/02/12 10:02 PM
1

Women don't date strangers they meet for the first time. That never happens. Yes it does. And it's happening in your city right now.
/r/seduction27/01/12 10:20 PM
1

I like.
/r/seduction26/01/12 07:11 PM
1

A more pragmatic fix (at least for my own situation) is to go out with a wingman if you currently go out by yourself. There's nothing like a trusted friend patting you on the back and saying "good job" just after your worst crash and burn ever. More generally speaking, if your social life is a little lacking, it wouldn't hurt to build that up, get a few good friends to hang out with once in a while (even if not for game). Good to have constant reminders that you are Not actually a piece of shit …
/r/seduction26/01/12 07:30 AM
3

Interesting point. I always assumed that a cold apartment would discourage her from wanting to take her clothes off. Moreover, I've always felt less horny when I'm cold. (Traveling to tropical climates has always made me super horny.) But I see that you may be right. It's more important to encourage snuggling, which comes at an earlier step, than her wanting to take off her clothes, which comes later.
/r/seduction25/01/12 11:24 PM
1

Actually, the wikipedia article I linked to says: caffeine does not act as a diuretic when consumed in moderation (less than five cups a day or 500 to 600 milligrams) Vasoconstriction sounds about right though!
/r/seduction25/01/12 08:52 AM
1

Well, you're doing a bad job of seeming unapproachable. Try being bitchier. :) New: Your shoes are worn out.
/r/seduction25/01/12 08:09 AM
1

This sounded like good advice but I just searched online and found that coffee is not a diuretic, contrary to popular belief. I'll try your tip about drinking water anyway, thanks!
/r/seduction25/01/12 07:50 AM
1

I have the same problem. I've noticed that my hands/feet are colder at night if I've had coffee sometime during the day. The more the coffee, the worse the situation. So I avoid coffee when I know I'm going to have a date. I had read somewhere that swinging your arms in big round circles a few times gets your blood flowing more to your hands. I believe the long-term fix is to improve circulation by doing more cardio and eating healthier.
/r/seduction25/01/12 04:11 AM
3

[side note about this shit test] I usually say "I'm here by myself" in a confident nothing-wrong-about-it manner. Usually, it doesn't affect anything. A couple of times, the girl has replied "I'm so jealous of you. A girl could never go to a bar by herself"
/r/seduction25/01/12 01:00 AM
1

I did the pua training bootcamp 2 years ago but unfortunately didn't practice for more than a few months after that. I have nothing to compare it against but personally I loved it. It had a refreshing philosophy on game (based on 'investment' instead of DHVs) and I liked that it allowed you to be more honest and not mislead/lie in a set. That said, I felt that the $1000 weekend bootcamp was mainly a way for them to recruit students for their $6000 week-long residential courses... which I also to…
/r/seduction24/01/12 10:30 PM
1

Ok, ignore me, because I'm currently following a different pua philosophy (adam lyons / puatraining.com). Also, I haven't really been out in the field for more than a year so I don't have the right to speak yet :)
/r/seduction22/01/12 07:49 AM
1

Regarding the conversations-going-stale, it sounded to me like you do most of the talking... is that right? Try to make it so that you're talking only 25% of the time, and she's talking 75% of it. Mostly, this means getting her to talk about herself with you leading the conversation. Good job opening all those sets!
/r/seduction20/01/12 11:30 PM
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