I started reading the Six Pillars of Self Esteem by Nathaniel Branden about a week ago (It's great by the way and I highly recommend it). One of the many things the book covers is that you should be assertive and let someone (whether it be your boss or friend or a girl) know when they are offending you and tell them how you feel honestly. Because people with high self-esteem won't tolerate it when people are being hateful.

Anyway, to the FR:

I currently have a small group of friends that I talk to over Skype and play video games with. I've been "friends" with them before I discovered this sub and other sources of self improvement. Throughout the time I've known them, whenever we are in a Skype call and I'm speaking a lot, they'll say something along the lines of "Are you still talking?" or "Why are you still speaking?". And for the longest time, I would stay quiet and it would ultimately lower my self-esteem. They would do this all of the time. But last night, I wouldn't have it.

I was invited to a group call, and we all sat together deciding what game to play. I began talking for about 12 seconds when one of my "friends" said "Are you seriously still talking?". It made me furious and I left the call just then.

But then it hit me that just leaving the call would not solve anything. Leaving wouldn't show him that I was angry and that I feel disrespected. Usually I would just join back in 10 minutes and pretend that it never happened. But not this time.

I called them back and I let him know how I felt. I told him, "Don't call ME and tell me to fucking shut up. I feel very disrespected and I didn't deserve that comment."

He tried to play it cool and act like it didn't phase him.

I said, "You really fucking let me down." And I left the call.

He called back asking what game I wanted to play. I told him that I deserve an apology before anything. "Apologize for what?" he says.

And then it hit me that I don't have good friends. The reason my self-esteem is so low is because I surround myself with others that have equally, if not lower self-esteem than I do. I do not deserve to be treated this way.

A great excerpt from an article written by Mark Manson titled, The Guide To Strong Boundaries:

"Boundaries work both ways: they create emotional health and are created by people with emotional health. They are something you can start working on today with the people close to you and you’ll begin to notice a difference in your self-esteem, confidence, emotional stability, and so on. And yes, believe it or not, boundaries are also hot.

But first, let’s do the obligatory bullet point list every blog must do for these types of posts. Let’s do the “You Might Have A Boundary Issue If…” list so you know where you stand:

  • Do you ever feel like people take advantage of you or use your emotions for their own gain?
  • Do you ever feel like you’re constantly having to “save” people close to you and fix their problems all the time?
  • Do you find yourself sucked into pointless fighting or debating regularly?

  • Do you find yourself faaaaar more invested or attracted to a person than you should be for how long you’ve known them?

  • In your relationships, does it feel like things are always either amazing or horrible with no in-between? Or perhaps you even go through the break-up/reunion pattern every few months?

  • Do you tell people how much you hate drama but seem to always be stuck in the middle of it?

  • Do you spend a lot of time defending yourself for things you believe aren’t your fault?

If you answered 'yes' to even a few of the above, then you probably set and maintain poor boundaries in your relationships. If you answered a resounding “yes” to most or all of the items above, you not only have a major boundary problem in your relationships, but you also probably have some other personal problems going on in your life."

Link to that article here

The moral here is that you should set boundaries with everyone. YOU are worth something and you don't deserve to be treated like shit.

EDIT: Thank you all for your feedback and advice!