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mfolivas Archive

View 6 posts and 26 comments by mfolivas on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

TL;RD: when you're at peace and feel that you have tried everything and you feel like everything is one-sided and there is no love, then it's time to go. My disclosure date was 3 years ago and my wife told me that she wanted to work things out. I immediately booked a therapist, also a retreat to Affair Recovery. Later on, I found out that my wife had some trauma in her life so I figured to give it all we had given that we have a family and more important the relationship deserved it (21 years to…
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/23 02:42 PM
6

When your spouse cheats, not only does she loses all love that she had for you but also respect I stayed because our therapist told me to give it a year for her to come out of the "affair fog" My STBXW had some trauma in her life and so the therapist asked me to stay for another year (a total of 2 years not counting the 1.5 years she was in the affair) Resentful and she was not willing to move on to heal the marriage I knew that I gave everything I had and I have no regrets When I was able to se…
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/22 08:17 PM
4

I'm a betrayed husband, and my wife and I are going through a divorce. We have two children, 21 and 12. Clearly, betrayed females and males are different, and I don't know what it is to cheat but here is what you SHOULD NOT DO: Do nothing or just say what she wants to hear. You're in a microscope right now. If you don't do anything, she will know. Actions speak louder than words. Get to the root cause of the problem and fix it. Also, write down what is your ideal of a perfect husband, then work …
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/22 03:20 AM
5

I know my man...well, we def not making the rules and most of us didn't want to be here but we are in this freakin' foxhole. My attorney's assistant said, "if she finds out that you made more money, she can ask for more child support"...how in the hell is she going to find out? She will see my salary along with the child support?
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/22 02:35 AM
2

Dude, if we ever meet, I will invite you to coffee or beer(s). This is awesome!
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/22 02:52 PM
1

Few things: Join a gym today and start working out Write down what you always wanted to do and your definition of success, then make a plan and follow through Write down your principles and values - your philosophy Change your mindset and perspective. I have seen many men going through the guilt trip and victim mentality. Stop bitching and start doing! Yes, this chapter of your life is over. How can you make it a better story? Get into a community of men that you admire - CrossFit, jiujitsu, gym…
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/22 11:59 PM
5

Sorry about this man. My wife cheated with a guy from work for almost two years. She told me and said that she wanted to work. My wife had some trauma in her life so I spent two years trying to save my marriage. The guys here have explained this better than me but let me just tell you a few things: Just like you know when someone loves you, the feeling is the same when someone doesn't love you Get a male therapist that has gone through the same Set some boundaries and know your worth brother If …
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/22 04:54 PM
3

Bro, everything will be fine in the long run...they will not be for a few, but it will also pass. Remember, your kids are a reflection of us. Focus on your kid(s) when you're with them, but also make sure you live your life to the fullest. That way you'll be happier and your kids will see it as well. Few things that have helped me: - Get with other men that you respect and admire (I run an accountability team along with other men) - Get into something that moves you - gym, running, swimming, etc…
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/22 11:33 PM
5

my man, sometimes you need to leave the circus to the clowns and just walk away.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/22 08:30 PM
1

Thanks gent, few more questions: 1) Now, I make more money than her but previously was not the case. Does that counts? 2) I am an entrepreneur and I am trying to find some VC funding (it's hard now) for my startup. What would happen if I get funding or I sell my startup? How can I prevent my STBEW to get any of my money?
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/22 02:10 PM
3

The other thing that I would recommend is to become a better version of yourself in all aspects - physically, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually. Once you start moving towards that better version, you will see progress and with that, you'll gain confidence. I always tell men, it's ok...I know this is a shitty situation. It's ok to cry and get upset at the beginning, but after 15-30 days...stop the pity party and get your ass to work! Questions like, if you could pick the job of your dr…
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/22 09:06 PM
2

bro, I did that...and I can tell you that you're a ticking time bomb! From the bottom of my heart, I can tell you that your life is so much better than living a mediocre marriage. If she doesn't love you or is not willing to do anything to save the marriage, then I think you should definitely consider at least separating.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/22 08:52 PM
17

It never ceases to amaze me how women dig to the bottom of the barrel to find an AP and are willing to throw their marriage for someone that could make them a single mom.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/22 12:42 PM
2

Love doesn't hurt bro. Great couples in love flow, they don't beg for affection, they don't try to compromise, and most definitely don't leave you in the middle of ER like a dog. You don't have to try that hard. Chris Rock said it best, great relationships are not hard. Two people can easily move a couch, but it is hard as hell if you're doing it by yourself. If someone ones to leave, show them the door.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/22 03:28 AM
1

Hesitation, overthinking, and holding to the illusion of the past will only delay the inevitable. You can never be right for the wrong person. People that love you don't do this type of shit. I'm speaking from experience bro. Take this as a direct indication that your marriage is over and follow through with it.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/22 06:10 PM
1

the oldest one knows
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/22 01:51 AM
4

We need to make t-shirts out of this! Thanks!
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/22 11:05 AM
14

It's normal to feel angry bro. Hell, the first time I found out about my wife's affair, I wanted to kill that mfer. However, you have to control it. Remember bro, you're a man, not a child and more important your son looks up to you so you're setting an example. In the beginning, when I found out about the affair, I couldn't stop calling my wife names and putting her down. If I'm honest, I even did it in front of my kids. I got so angry that both of my kids started crying because they were scare…
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/22 11:41 PM
5

Based on your response, it seems like there is a lot of guilt and shame inside of you. You can't set time for healing and you have to do the work. Yes, it is too early to date, and yes you need to go through some mourning. When you're in a better place, try to have a small retrospective on what went right in your relationship and what went wrong. Then, try to focus on what needs to change. This is a great opportunity for you to learn about yourself. The problem that a lot of us do is trying to j…
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/22 11:00 AM
1

Amigo, we're social creatures so missing a companion is normal. However, you should be ok with being alone; otherwise, you'll end up in a rebound relationship. Just focus on you and your kids (if you have any) and (more important)....don't become boring bro. Although I love video games, I try to be outside as much as I keep thinking about my ex and my kids. Few things: You might not want to remarry, but that doesn't mean that you can't date. I wouldn't waste my time dating until you're ok being …
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/22 09:57 PM
6

before you forgive her, have you forgiven yourself? I tried 2 years trying to fix the fuck up that my wife did (she had a year and a half affair) and even after that she was still madly in love with the AP. I had to forgive myself for a lot of stuff and more importantly, know that this has nothing to do with you but about how empty/unhealthy she is anger is normal (there was a time that I couldn't even hear my wife's voice) but it's a secondary emotion, why is it that you can't let go of that? O…
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/22 04:25 PM
41

Bro, this breaks my heart, because all of us know the pain. Few things: find the things that you already enjoy - hunting, swimming, paddleboard get out of the house and start moving - hit the gym, be around nature, find a mentor or group, meetup, but make it about men (jiu-jitsu, CrossFit, whatever) I started a accountability group with 4 other men in the same situation (we were all betrayed by our wives). You can probably look for something similar in your area. Remember, talking heals man. Get…
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/22 05:39 PM
2

Atta boy!! I'm gonna grab the 12 yo Macallan and have a drink on your name bro.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/22 02:23 AM
4

First of all, I am so sorry about this bro. Few things: It's better to come out from a broken home than being in one Paternity test!!! Just because you and your wife didn't get along, that doesn't mean that you guys can be great parents Go through the divorce and get a hold of your resentments and more important get with other men that has gone through something like this It's better to come out of a broken home than to be in onemore important get with other men that have gone through something …
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/22 02:37 PM
1

Interesting, I am willing to give this a shot.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/22 03:28 PM
2

Let her know that this is your house and you have rules and if she wants to date then she needs to look for something else. Let her know that these are YOUR rules and if she doesn't like it...then, she needs to leave or the door lock will be changed Tell her that she has 1-2 months to leave the house - you need to move on bro. It's not your fault that rent are messed up (Ilive in Miami...I know!). Also, dude, you did enough and you need to put a clear line in the sand. The longer she's there...t…
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/22 03:58 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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