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midnight_Caller74 Archive

View 5 posts and 77 comments by midnight_Caller74 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

In the last year, I’ve; been laid off, had my wife cheat on me and divorce me, got fired from my job (just yesterday), and have no idea how I’m going to make ends meet or where I’ll even be living once the home we bought together sells. I’m looking at living out of my car just to save money because I don’t have a job now. Just to keep my car, insurance, food, cell phone, storage fee, and charging will cost me $1300 a month, and that doesn’t include any CC debt. We have dogs, no kids, and once I …
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/26 09:38 PM
0

He’s admitted to yelling at her for years and punching a wall. He needs to accept the fact part of the problem here is him.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/26 10:13 AM
4

You need anger management. She doesn’t feel safe around you, and for good reason. You may have to accept the fact your marriage is over. Learn from this and build yourself to be a better man by going to therapy and getting help
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/26 10:12 AM
2

Fuck tears, I’m having a blast. It’s like I’ve walked out of a fog.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/26 10:08 AM
2

I’m actually really enjoy the massive amount of freedoms being single has brought me. It’s like I’ve walked out of a fog. I can come home, walk around in my boxers and play games all day and not worry about what anyone thinks. I’m texting about 6 different woman right now, so I have plenty of options for dates, I keep the house spotless because it’s just me, and I slept just fine last night. I hope this is how things will be normally moving forward. If it is, I absolutely understand why so many …
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/26 10:07 AM
2

I feel you man. She seems to have a network of people telling her “she was brave”. I fucking treated her like a princess and put her needs above mine. I’m not claiming to have been perfect, but I loved her deeply and would’ve fought until the sun brunt out if it meant keeping my marriage. She’s told me several times out of all the relationships she had, I treated her the best. She told me one time I wasn’t strong enough to divorce her. The other day, I told her she had that backwards. I told her…
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/26 03:21 PM
1

We removed all family photos when she was here. The day I saw she had thrown away stuffed animals I bought her, or photos of us she had on her desk in the trash, I took all our photos down off the walls. She took everything of hers, so there’s no decorations left. Heck, the house is bare. Nothing in the walls at all. Our original intention was to sell the house to opendoor in a week or two time, yet now have to sell the traditional way. I’ve already moved out most of my things to storage. It ech…
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/26 01:32 PM
1

I have accepted it. I won’t take her back, the trust is gone. If she’s capable of doing it to me once, she’s capable of doing it to me again if I let her. When she was moving out, I went over to a friend’s house. He told me his ex wife and him were talking (they share kids) and she confessed to him that while when the two of them went to a concert together (his exe and my exe) that my exe was seeing someone else on the side. This was over a year before she asked for a divorce. I don’t know if th…
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/26 11:59 AM
2

The further into this post divorce world I get without her, the more I’m realizing how toxic of a relationship we had. My needs were not being met, and I was killing myself to met all her needs and wants. It was a one-way street with zero effort on her end. As much as I hate the idea of losing my house and living in an apartment again, the peace her absence brings will allow me to heal and be free of her daily BS. My person is out there, I just need to find her. Sadly, the only “likes” I’m getti…
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/26 02:11 PM
1

I’ve been collecting mine 😆. 2 of my 3 wedding rings are in a box in my closet. The first one was a very cheap gold band that I tossed into the ocean almost 2 decades back.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/26 11:58 AM
3

She took her’s off before even asking for the divorce. I took mine off the day she asked. I consider my divorce date the day she asked for a divorce, not the day I became legally divorced.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/26 11:54 AM
6

Every person divorced has been friendzoned while married
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/26 05:50 PM
2

I appreciate the kind words. Getting on with my life is all I can do. I met someone on a dating app the other day and we ended up back at her place. All I could think about was how she wasn’t like my exe. The sex was hollow. It did nothing for me. I’ll be stepping back for sure. I thought I was ready, but I know now I’m not. Filling the void in my chest with any woman that will give me attention isn’t a workable solution. I need peace before I can find love .
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/26 01:41 PM
1

I hear you. I did the same with my previous divorces. Don’t let the peace you seek now be chains that weigh you done later. I’d talk to a mediator if you two can’t come to an agreement. Don’t take on one penny more than what’s fair.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/26 01:31 PM
1

Depends on the state. California, ya, you’re right. Washington & Oregon? Nope, if you got student loans while married that’s considered joint debt and it’s split. Just had a buddy go through that very things when he got a divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/26 11:25 AM
1

Depends on the state. California, where I got my first divorce, treats student debt differently because the person who took the loan is the only one that keeps the degree. Oregon (where I’m at) Mine stupidly didn’t look into that before she filed. She took all her student loans as her debt. I’m thankful she didn’t look too deep into that. I would have fought that in court (and probably lost).
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/26 11:22 AM
1

Mine did. She had another man on the side for a month before she asked for a divorce. A divorce that was finalized yesterday
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/26 11:19 AM
1

My exe (as of yesterday) and I didn’t share the same interests either. It was one of the things that contributed to our divorce. Hear me when I say this, STOP trying to be someone she wants you to be. You’re only lying to yourself and being dishonest to your relationship. Get the divorce. Save yourself the future heartache because you conforming to be something she wants and not being authentically yourself is a recipe for unhappiness.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/26 11:17 AM
4

I get how you feel, but it starts to get better. After 10 years of marriage, she left me. I spent almost 2 months thinking the same as you. Tonight I went on a date with someone who actually got me excited. We hit it off, spent almost 3 hours talking at a local Italian restaurant, even split a pizza. I got her number at the end of the night and we agreed to meet again as soon as our schedules align. Things get better dude, don’t be so hard on yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/26 12:10 PM
2

The divorce will be amicable. We aren’t in disagreement over that. There’s definitely a part of me that still can’t believe this is ending, and would do anything to get her back, but my brain remembers the affair, the disrespect, the lies, and the betrayal. There’s no going back, because we would have the same issues. I had to write myself a note called “read this if you get weak…” and it lists out all the crap she did while we were married and the stuff after she asked for a divorce. It brings …
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/26 01:40 AM
4

It’s not worth the tension and angry that would cause. I’m over it. I still deeply love her, but the version of her whom i married. I don’t know this new version of my wife. Even if she were to come to me and say she was sorry and wanted to work on the marriage, I could never fully trust her again. I’ve been changed by these events.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/26 12:27 AM
3

No, she’s shown me nothing but disrespect & contempt since Feb 1st when she started her affair. She’s consistently lied to me and broke the one hard red line I had. She bad mouths me when she thinks she alone. I can’t wait to be done with her. I wanted to avoid a hostile home environment while we lived together, but at this point I just don’t care.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/26 02:38 PM
2

I don’t care who she wants. She’s not my concern anymore. She’s acting like a child. I caught her on camera last night bad mouthing me to her mom, mocking the fact I didn’t want her to bring any of her dates home, she even laughed when she said she did it anyway. She was saying “he doesn’t want me to bring anyone home, he wants to keep it natural territory.” What I can promise is she didn’t tell her mom about the affair, didn’t tell her about the lying, didn’t tell her how she is breaking agreem…
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/26 02:37 PM
2

Oh, i went from depressed and feeling sorry for myself to being pissed off and angry. When I got him, I kicked her off all my CC. I had already cut up her cards and changed the password for the accounts , but had agreed to leave her in the accounts to help her credit—not anymore. Yesterday, I had a moment where I was feeling sorry for myself, but I then read my “read this when weak list..”. It’s something I wrote myself that lists every thing that was wrong with our marriage and the actions she’…
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/26 02:34 PM
2

Yes, she broke a lot of things; her wedding vow, her word, my heart, our home. Still, I can’t help but love her, or at least the version of her that I married. She’s a different person now, and that’s the person who I have to deal with, and not confuse this new her with the old her—two completely different people.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/26 02:29 PM
2

Oh, it got juicy after I posted is OP. While I was away on a business trip, she tried to sneak the man she had an affair with. She disabled the internal camera, turned off the doorbell camera recording, and even talked about where he could walk to avoid the garage cameras—which she covered when he was walking by and whispered “hurry up”. The problem she had was I’m the admin on the cameras, so I got notice the doorbell had been set to “never record”. I turned it back on and deleted her access to…
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/26 02:19 PM
2

Oh, mine will bring up a fight we had 4 years ago. She never let anything go. The weight crushed her in the end, while i can’t remember a single fight we had before this divorce, because once an argument was over I actually let that shit go.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/26 06:59 PM
9

Oh, 1000%. The amount of “your feelings are valid” or “you have the right to feel the way you do” is straight out of therapy seasons. Her therapist only gets her side of a conversation, where I’m sure she’s made herself out be some martyr. I told her last night I can’t wait for this divorce to be final. I’m over her. She can struggle with, and embrace, her own poor decisions. Up until 2 weeks ago, I was desperate to get her back, even after knowing about the affair and all the lies. After she br…
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/26 01:52 PM
13

I’ve been married 3 times and all 3 of them had affairs. My latest wife even had the balls to try to sneak her affair partner into the house while I was on a business trip. When confronted, she blatantly lied and continued to lie until her story fell apart. Her attitude about it, “why does it matter, you aren’t home?”. The fact she lied about it, broke an agreement with me not to bring people home, and then made efforts to cover her tracks (disable cameras, had him walk where other camera couldn…
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/26 01:30 PM
4

I’m well aware we’re not together, but that doesn’t excuse the lying and her bringing the man she had an affair with to our home after we explicitly said the house was natural ground. You might be ok with that level of disrespect, I’m not.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 11:14 PM
4

Both on it. I have a condo I bought by myself years ago. We sold that after she moved in with me and bought a house, so she gets half unfortunately. Last time I put someone’s name on my home
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 05:07 PM
3

We have to sell the house. I can’t offered to refinance the house and give her half the equity and still afford the payments, they would be over $3000 a month
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 04:37 PM
2

We have a lot of debt we’re paying off. If not, after it’s all split and the house sold, there would be little in the way of equity left after the bills were paid. This way we both save ourselves almost $1000 a month and keep our half of the equity
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 04:35 PM
2

We’re living in the same house in different rooms. It’s a financial decision. We have a fair amount of debt we’re paying off before selling the house. That way we’re both in a better spot financially once we got our own place
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 04:34 PM
4

I’m not tripping over this guy, I’m a 10 compared to him and she’s dating down. But you’re correct, I don’t plan on speaking about him to her again. I’ve said my peace and took the better part of yesterday to be angry about it. Now, as I sit here in a hotel in Philly, I’m just numb.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 11:40 AM
2

No kids
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 08:33 AM
5

Ya, she most definitely has NRE. What kills me is this guy has a pot belly and looks like his best job was at a fast food restaurant. I was actually concerned she had landed some crazy ripped, trimmed bread, tattooed guy. Instead, it’s some dude that looks like he’s an AA member. I was actually laughing at this guy. THIS? THIS Is the guy she cheated on me with ?!? I feel sorry for her. It was pathetic and I told her as much.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 12:44 AM
15

I’m less than a month into mine and she fucking brought the guy she had an affair on me with home last night. I feel so alone right now it’s not funny. I have no one to tell about my weekend, no one to seek advice from or hate my frustration with. My whole family structure was on her side of the family.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 12:25 AM
5

I’ve said my peace to her. She admits fault and apologized. I told her that her apology falls on deaf ears. She has continued to lie to me for a month, and only apologizes when she gets caught lying to me. I even gave her grace and forgave her 2nd round of lies to me last week, where I told her that bringing someone home would be a red line for me. What gets me is she fucking planned this. Turned the camera off in the living, cleaned the house, had him pick her up so she could drink, and planned…
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/26 11:21 PM
9

No kids thank god.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/26 08:47 PM
7

I’m over her now. I could handle her dating, I could handle her overnight hotel stays. I couldn’t handle the lying to my face over and over again, or her attempts to hide the fact she planned to bring him home last night. I got a notification the camera was switched to “no record ever”. I switched it back on, deleted her access to it and that’s how I caught her. She had him walk through the grass to avoid the cameras in the garage—one of which she covered with her hand —like that was suspect . W…
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/26 08:31 PM
1

We’re on AT&T and we have a joint account. Yes, we use iPhones although I don’t think that matters
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/26 07:56 PM
2

Yep, I know that now. I was even defending her on these very forums until I discovered she was talking to him 3 weeks before asking for a divorce, and then paying for hotel rooms a week after where she was banging him. She didn’t even wait for the body to be cold before jumping into bed with someone else. She said “they’re just friends” but when pressed, she said he’s just a fuck buddy, she has no intention on dating him. Mind you, I can’t tell you how many times we got in an argument because of…
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/26 01:28 PM
1

Nope, iPhone. I can see every number she texted, what number sent her a text, who texted who first, time and date. I can see phone calls with the same data plus how long the call was.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/26 10:48 AM
1

Yes
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/26 01:06 AM
1

I didn’t see the actual text, just that they started texting on Feb 1, and haven’t stopped since AT&T doesn’t keep what is said in text, it’s not like the movies
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/26 05:08 AM
3

I haven’t divorced a single one. My wedding vows are just that, a vow. They have divorced me. First wife got pregnant by her boyfriend. So, ya, by. Second wife said “marriage was incompatible with her independence.” This was after I caught her having an emotional affair. 3rd wife had a boat load of truama and she claims we grew apart. I believed that until I discovered the affair. I just have terrible luck I guess. I certainly attract or am attracted to, the wrong kind of female. I am in therapy…
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/26 10:54 PM
1

I want to find my person. Being alone sucks . I won’t get married again. I’m done with that. I won’t share accounts, I won’t put her name on the mortgage, I won’t share my passwords, and if she doesn’t meet my needs, I’ll find someone who will.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/26 07:22 PM
2

100% this . If nothing else, this has thought me no matter how loyal she may seem, she’s one “hi” from cheating on you. I will never put her name on my mortgage, never have shared checking accounts, and never get married again. Keep them as a girlfriend and the day they stool trying, kick them to the curb.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/26 07:10 PM
0

This one hit differently. I wasn’t ready for this one. I truly believe she was different. I actually believed her when she told me she would never cheat and we would always get through the tough times. She’s proved she was no better. I was just a safe space for her until her got on her feet and found the next safe space.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/26 06:55 PM
1

First wife had a boyfriend and got pregnant. 2nd wife had an emotional affair (caught her having a very sexually explicit conversations with the an ex over email), and 3rd wife also had an emotional affair and possibly a physical one (no proof either way if they had sex BEFORE or AFTER she asked for a divorce) I don’t know man. I have trust issue because of it. I’m the most loyal, honest, and faithful person I know. I’d never do that to my spouse.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/26 05:49 PM
2

Way to victim blame.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/26 03:05 PM
2

I won’t get married again. Clearly I’m attracting the wrong kind of person
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/26 12:24 PM
7

Yep. 52, 3rd marriage. Everyone one of them cheated on me. 1st one even got pregnant
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/26 01:49 AM
1

I get that it’s over, I’ve come to accept that. Doesn’t make it any easier. I threw away all the cards she’s ever given me over the last 9 years and took all the photos of us off the walls in the house. It was gut wrenching, but i kind of did it to signal to myself that it’s over, no going back. I overheard her telling some guy on the phone she likes being a brat. I was in the laundry room and she was in her room. She was talking loud enough for me to hear. Then I knocked on her door to ask her …
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/26 01:36 AM
1

I feel your pain. I really do since it’s happening to me on a daily basis still.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/26 12:11 AM
4

Solid advice. I don’t know if I’ll wait a year, I already feel numb towards my ex. We live together still until we can sell the house, so we’re just roommates with a past. I dread the day we sell this home and separate for good. She’s been a part of my life for almost a decade, so it’s hard to let “her” go. The her I’m referring to is sadly a memory. She’s not the same person I married. I may dread getting my own place, but I’m also kind of looking forward to it if you can feel opposite feelings…
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/26 09:10 PM
2

I’m the first to admit I lost myself in this marriage. I did everything she asked and wanted, never having stood for my boundaries because I didn’t want to make her mad. I see now that made me look weak. What you’re saying isn’t wrong. I agree with your statement that what she is doing IS by definition cheating since the divorce isn’t finalized. Hell, she hasn’t even filed yet. I’m desperately trying to hold on to the person she once was. Logically, I know what you’re saying is true. My heart ju…
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/26 04:28 PM
1

Judging by how quickly she moved on after she told me 2 weeks ago today she wanted a divorce, you’re probably correct. Every camera the catches her in the garage, in front of the door, in the living room, she’s got her AirPod in and is talking to someone, even belly laughing once. It kills my soul and it’s heart crushing. To be tossed away like yesterday’s leftovers by a person you’ve spent almost a decade with, is hard. I never cheated, i never lied, i was always there for her, I was —what I th…
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/26 04:24 PM
2

Think how you would want this new delivered and go from there. Only you know her, we don’t. I would avoid being the victim or blaming anyone, regardless of the facts.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/26 03:27 PM
1

No, i even said in my post she met him months ago. They kept in touch apparently. That doesn’t mean feelings didn’t develop. I have no proof either way.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/26 02:40 PM
6

My still wife (she’s asked for a divorce but hasn’t filed yet) has become cold and secretive. She’s not being mean, she’s just a new person occupying the same body as the woman I love and married. She’s told me emotionally, she’s just not there anymore, which hurt to hear. 10 years of being a loyal, loving, and supportive husband gone. She’s clearly moved on, even started seeing some new guy already, at least is talking to someone new. She goes out till late at night, changed all her passwords, …
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/26 01:17 PM
11

That anytime someone tells you they won’t leave and will love you forever, that it’s only meant for that moment in time. People change, love fades, and eventually you’ll be alone again.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 08:57 PM
3

Find a girlfriend, both get std tests, problem solved
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 04:43 PM
1

I get why people get bitter and jaded, but not every woman cheats. It doesn’t have to be she found someone else and then left me, it could also be our communication broke down and she was just on a different path. Not all woman that initiate a divorce did something against their wedding vows first. Some times, regardless of best intentions, things don’t work out for someone, and they move on after they are done trying the best way they knew how.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 04:35 PM
1

I didn’t. I put my wants and needs aside to make her happy. It’s a mistake I won’t make again going forward.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/26 11:08 PM
2

No, I don’t believe they suddenly just met. I asked her about him. She’s knew him for a while and they kept in touch from the track. She swears they’ve never done anything and she had no emotional bandwidth for a relationship right now. Not sure I buy that the last part, but I do believe they have never done anything. Doesn’t matter at this point anyway. She’s laser focused on getting this divorce. I wish her the best, we have a good run up until the end.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/26 12:06 PM
2

No, I’ve got no interest in doing that to her. She needs to do what she needs to do. Even if that was grounds for a divorce in my state, I wouldn’t purse it.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/26 02:40 AM
3

Na, don’t care that much about it. If she needs that to be happy, more power to her. I have zero interest in any type of petty revenge. I hope nothing but the best for her
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/26 02:14 AM
2

This is true. She met him at an event several months back, but had kept in touch with him. I can only assume she reached out to him after the divorce
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/26 04:57 PM
2

She’s been distant for some time now. It just hyper accelerated over the last week until she asked for the divorce. The last straw for her was we got in an argument a few days before and it just tipped her over. If it wasn’t that argument, it would have been the next one. She had actually wrote the divorce letter to me a few days before, but had decided to wait on giving it to me until she did.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/26 04:54 PM
4

Oh, I put in effort. Believe me. I’m huge on effort. She had a lot of childhood trauma she was seeing a therapist for. In that time, she grew apart. Our communication was affected because of it. While i THOUGHT i understood what she wanted and needed, it appears I didn’t and she built resentment over it. If i understood what i know now, things would be different. In that time, she pulled back from affection towards me and it became a sore point for both of us. She wasn’t in the mood because of h…
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/26 04:49 PM
8

A lot of people mistake peace for boredom. I want to think she only just met the Dave guy (or the “they” whomever that is) within the last few days, but Christ man, to go from meeting him, giving out your number and now not coming home all within a few days?!? I get she was checked out of the relationship before she ended it, but man, the body wasn’t even cold. Update: She knew him for some time. He was at an event she went to and they had kept in touch as friends this whole time. After she aske…
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/26 03:14 PM
3

I’m actually starting to believe that to be honest
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/26 11:16 AM
2

Oh, I recognize her flaws, but mine as well. Her faults don’t diminish that. She asked for a divorce and then went on a date within a week. Technically, she’s not cheating since she did ask for the divorce first. It just hurts because it all happened so fast. I’m stuck at home while she’s out living it up. She was always a social butterfly while I was the wallflower.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/26 10:41 AM
6

My wife asked for a divorce 1 week ago today. She texted me tonight and said she was going out with her girlfriend. She accidentally texted me she just got off the phone with Dave and they would be late. It was like a shot to the heart. 9 years together and I was replaced in a week (maybe less). She even had the gull to say they were just hanging out. Ya, she gave her number to a guy named Dave—someone who I’ve never heard of before so he’s new in the last week—and he’s bring a friend—-but they …
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/26 05:05 AM
3

This hit home
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/26 05:02 AM
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